haunted-whisperings

[haunted-whisperings]

there has been a change in my vital signs something inside my mind has declined unwilling to further its investigation finally uttering true devastation do not put me on life support, a crutch though my skin is cool to the touch i believe i can hold on for a while longer offer me a transfusion, make me stronger or you could let me be, watch me float out to sea bury me there in the deep just a skeleton of who i used to be churning in the celestial ocean keeping an eye on my heartbeat's innermost motion do you think there might be a magical potion hidden in a subterranean cave beneath hoping to find something in which to sink my teeth holding my breath diving possibly to my death monsters of the depth follow my trail of blood wishing to feed from my flesh, trying to drag me through the mud black waters then envelope me

returned now to my home freed from the darkness, no longer needing to roam this is where i've longed to be, free no evil doers here, just me i need to speak my peace a simple question, rescue me please thought i could do it alone i need your help one more time place the tourniquet, make your pledge keep me from my final hemorrhage

~~~~~

"He:[she] who writes in blood and aphorisms does not want to be read, he:[she] wants to be learned by heart."

~ Friedrich Nietzsche ~

#hauntedwhisperings #whisperingnomore #poetry #writingheals #domesticviolence #domesticabuse #domesticviolenceawareness #emotionalabuse #abuse #narcissisticabuse #narcissist #survivor #gaslighting #cptsd #trauma #healing #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissism #domesticviolencesurvivor #abusesurvivor #psychologicalabuse #sexualassault #mentalhealthawareness #ifmywoundswerevisible #youarenotalone #verbalabuse #financialabuse #selfharm #prose #tumblr poetry

[haunted-whisperings]

when i look in the mirror i never trust what i see having trouble realizing me told what to do, what to feel where do i begin to find what is real i said no, “you mean yes” i guess not so sure anymore an uneven score wanting more do i deserve such i feel i have been missing much caught in a web of lies unheard for years, my many cries chains stay the course do you think he feels remorse overactive emotions dysfunctional neurotransmitters i’m not a quitter not even bitter i just need to know how do i go from here to there care self-distrust do i matter much it’s not a crutch i’m struck by a twist of fate stalemate maybe someone help me figure this out untwist my brain serotonin lost my mood the cost depressed on a quest to find my true mind real emotions presynaptic collapse my body reacts self-harm moving to my arm sound the alarm imperfections now found on my body’s sacred ground tell me the truth show me what to do is this true as tears drop shocked mediating tension hand is wrenching stainless steel again appeals to the theory of invalidation

#hauntedwhisperings #whisperingnomore #poetry #writingheals #domesticviolence #domesticabuse #domesticviolenceawareness #emotionalabuse #abuse #narcissisticabuse #narcissist #survivor #gaslighting #toxicrelationships #mentalhealth #cptsd #trauma #healing #divorce #womenempowerment #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissism #domesticviolencesurvivor #manipulation #abusiverelationship #abusesurvivor #psychologicalabuse #sexualassault #mentalhealthawareness #loveyourself

[haunted-whisperings]

could you hit me just once, leave a mark split my sides for the world to see rather than fighting my mind i succumb to the blind sides of pain & agony

PLEASE push me against the wall make me fall, bleed you invalidated me long ago sowing seeds of insignificance

punch my clock leave me to rot confused by lies i’d like to see you cry innate emotional intelligence this dance has broken my defense i don’t know what to believe about me

emotionally lost my cost tossed minimized killing my confidence constantly paying penance drained soul raining

draining “stop being so emotional” my backbone no longer breaks with stones thrown

knock me out, cold tired of the toll unheard, discounted pressure mounted nailed to the cross you say you’re the boss

i now carry my weight in an altered state splintered wintered

hit me, it’s all good leave me like you should bleeding i won’t beg for my life PLEASE at least then i have a chance leave me for dead

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“Telling a person she shouldn't feel the way she does feel is akin to telling water it shouldn't be wet, grass it shouldn't be green, or rocks they shouldn't be hard. Each person's feelings are real. Whether we like or understand someone's feelings, they are still real. Rejecting feelings is rejecting reality; it is to fight nature and may be called a crime against nature, "psychological murder" or "soul murder." Considering that trying to fight feelings, rather than accept them, is trying to fight all of nature, you can see why it is so frustrating, draining and futile.” ~ S. Hein ~

#hauntedwhisperings #whisperingnomore #poetry #writingheals #domesticviolence #domesticabuse #domesticviolenceawareness #emotionalabuse #abuse #narcissisticabuse #narcissist #survivor #gaslighting #toxicrelationships #mentalhealth #cptsd #trauma #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissism #domesticviolencesurvivor #manipulation #abusesurvivor #psychologicalabuse #sexualassault #speakup #mentalhealthawareness #ifmywoundswerevisible #youarenotalone #verbalabuse #selfharm