charlottesmidnight - Tumblr blog

charlottesmidnight · 3 years

Text

Tears Of Guilt

Sirius Black x Sister!Reader (Adopted), Regulus Black x Sister!Reader

W.C. : 2490

Warnings: This is pure angst, character death.

“Sit.” ordered Walburga, her voice snapping at you when you took more than a second to get to the chair next to Regulus. You could hear the clicking of her heels on the wooden floor behind you and if you focused enough, you could hear her thoughts, the words boiling inside her head as she abruptly stopped next to you “Where is he?” she said sharply, her eyes burning holes at the top of your head as you stared blankly at the wall across from the table.

“I don’t know.” you muttered, voice dead as you kept your gaze on one specific spot, avoiding her eyes at all cost.

She scoffed lowly, her pacing behind you resuming once again “Don’t lie to me, Y/N.” she threatened “His belongings are gone, his room is empty. Where. did. he. go?” she asked, leaning her body between you and Regulus as she turned her face to you, her hand carefully caressing your cheeks before she gripped your chin and forced your face to look at her “Stop protecting Sirius or it will be worse for you my child.” she said, staring directly into your eyes as she let go of your face, red marks in both your cheeks from her tight hold.

You swallowed hard, returning your face to the portrait you used as an anchor. “I haven’t seen him in weeks, let alone talked to him.” you told her, feeling the warmth of Regulus’ hand taking hold of yours under the table, a reassuring squeeze coming from him as you kept a dead gaze in your face.

“You’re lucky your mother was a dear friend of mine.” she hissed, standing in the middle of both chairs, just inches away from your hold onto Regulus hand “If it was up to me I wouldn’t have put up with you all this years.” Tears started burning in your eyes, the rapid blinking keeping them at bay as you tighten your grip in Regulus hand.

Of course you knew where Sirius was. Until a month ago he spoke to you like you were best friends, and in a sense you were. The sister he never wanted but ended up loving more than he knew he could love someone. But not enough to take her and his brother with him, to stick together like they had promised one another. He had made his choice and now it was your turn.

“I can only assume he is with one of his friends.” you spoke after what felt like an eternity in silence, Regulus taking a hesitant glance at you and the tear that rolled down your cheek. “Probably at the Potter’s.” you mumbled, missing the grin spreading over your guardian’s face as she dismissed the both of you.

“Why did you do that?” Regulus said, barely keeping his own emotions at bay as he carefully closed the door of your room.

You sat down on your bed, patting the space next to you for him to take “It’s just you and me now.” you told him, lifting your face with unshed tears in your eyes “Sirius made his choice and now we have to do the same.” you told him.

“Mom’s going to kill him.” he told you, taking a shaky breath as soon as the words left his mouth.

You only nodded, taking him into your arms as you rubbed his back enough to ease his breathing “He killed us when he left.” you murmured in his ear “Always remember to fight fire with fire, Regulus. It’s the only way you’ll survive.”

********************************************************************

It was your last year at Hogwarts. One month and you would be thrust into the life of a full time Death Eater, the mar in your left forearm marking you for eternity to a path you couldn’t escape. And neither could Regulus.

“You were always more clever than I was.” you told him, watching as he filled page after page of parchment with information, not even giving it a second thought as he knew exactly the words he needed to plasm the knowledge in the paper.

He shook his head, dipping the quill in the pot of ink as he continued his assignment, the small smile in his face going unnoticed by everyone but you “It’s nothing.” he said “You taught me well.”

Just as you were about to answer the quiet atmosphere in the common room was disrupted. Your feet instantly bringing you up as the laughs died down as they saw you standing in the middle of the room “What are you doing here, Sirius?” you asked sharply, his grin widening as he elbowed his friends.

They all laughed loudly, your eyes falling to the flasks in their hands as you slowly but surely pulled your wand from your sleeve, Regulus walking to your side in the same stance.

“You sound just like mom.” Sirius said, the words dragged by his tongue as they all erupted in laughter once more. “Finally turned into her? Are you ready to step into your role as the new matriarch of the ancient family Black?” he mocked, saluting you as he stood straight, James and Peter imitating him as your grip tightened around your wand.

“What do you want?” you asked through gritted teeth, your arm shaking with rage as you raised your wand at them.

Remus was the only one who seemed to sober up instantly, his face falling as he reached for his giggling friends “Let’s go.” he murmured, all of them turning to you at the look in his friend’s face.

You weren’t the only one with your wand up now, Regulus stepping in front of you with a firm hand raised. The look in his eyes cold as he walked towards his brother “You think it is funny?” he asked him “You managed to escape and now we’re the enemy?” he spat the words, the Marauders now ready to duel.

“It appears we all have chosen our sides.” James said, eyes trailing down to Regulus arm, his sleeves rolled up leaving his mark out in the open.

“Stay out of it, Potter!” Regulus’ hissed, not once moving his eyes from Sirius. “Your sister asked you a question. Or have you forgotten that too, Sirius?”

“No death eater is family of mine.” Sirius grumbled under his breath, his words cutting deep into your heart as you reached for Regulus, but it was little too late.

The air buzzed with energy as Regulus shot spell after spell, Sirius and James barely keeping up with him as they blocked his attacks. You watched frozen in place, only snapping out of your trance when Remus tried to intervene with Peter at his side. Flashes of light left the tips of your wands, the possibility of someone finding you slim as it was the Slytherin room in the middle of the night. Only the Marauders being stupid enough to go there at such an hour.

It was only when Regulus stumbled back that your concentration broke, a spell hitting you on the chest as you feel back. Your face shot up in rage, reaching for your wand on the carpet as you pointed directly at James “Stupefy!” you shouted, hitting him as his body flew across the room, leaving you a clear path to Sirius.

Your movements were messy, the spells rolling off your tongue naturally as you cornered him against the wall, the tip of your wand against his throat when the only sound that could be heard was your heavy breathing.

Sirius did nothing as he waited for the spell to come out of your lips, his eyes boring deeply into your wild ones as he held his breath.

“If I see you, any of you,” you yelled, motioning your head around the room “anywhere near Regulus, I won’t be so forgiving. Do you understand?” you asked.

Lowering your wand he ran straight towards James, supporting his body against yours as they made their way out of the Slytherin common room. Not once glancing back, not another word spoken as his footsteps died in the silence of the night.

“He really hates us, doesn’t he?” Regulus asked you, straightening his clothes as he rolled his sleeves down.

“I told you before.” you said, reaching for his arm “This is not who we are, but how we survive.” you took his right hand into your left one, just like the day you both received your dark mark. Together, hand in hand.

You walked inside the room where many of the close followers of the dark lord waited for you two. Dressed in your best clothing, your mother announced your arrival with a grin in her face.

Regulus had a stoic face, not an emotion breaking to the surface as he held your hand. You on the other hand were putting up a show , a proud smirk on your face as you lifted both your arms in the air, the dark marks fresh in your young skin as your new family clapped and cheered in rejoice. Two pureblood children turned to man and woman to the dark lord’s will.

No one would ever dared doubt the both of you now.

********************************************************************

It had been years of enduring and obeying the dark lord’s commands, but your work had paid off greatly. Regulus had found his weakness and was in the path of saving the wizarding world.

You couldn’t have been prouder of him, offering himself to do the job as you played your part as his alibi. You were on your way to becoming legends.

The sound of light footsteps caught your attention as you paced in the kitchen, your mother gone for the day as you “dealt” with the house. You rushed to the hall, stumbling on the furniture there as a smile was drawn on your face “Regulus?” you called, as you turned both sides “Reg?!” you called again, eyes falling lower to the floor. “Kreacher, where is Regulus?” you asked, your heart beating faster as you felt your breath get caught in your throat as he shook his head. You left out a sob, falling to your knees as you clutched your stomach.

Loud sobs and cries left your mouth as you looked up to the elf “Where is my brother?” you asked in a whisper, the tears falling freely down your cheeks.

“Kreacher did everything he could.” he told you slowly “Master Regulus is dead, Mistress.”

“No, no…” you said in between sobs, resting your back against the wall as you choked in between sobs “NO, HE’S NOT DEAD!” you screamed, hitting the floor with your fists until blood stained the wood. Your cries echoing through the empty house until they could no longer be heard.

********************************************************************

You had begged Kreacher to take you back to the place he last saw Regulus, with no luck. His loyalty to your brother more than his fear of you. That’s how you found yourself all alone, standing over an empty grave with no one but the hope that he was listening to you.

“It should have been me.” you murmured, holding your umbrella close to you as the rain became heavier “Why did I let you go on your own?” you sobbed, using the end of your sleeve to clean your tears.

It had been a month since Kreacher arrived all alone that day, one month since you had taken your belongings and left the house you had grown to call home, leaving it empty for Walburga to find. You had become the one thing you never wanted to be, the one person you promised you would never forgive. The person walking up to you with his own tears.

“Y/N.” he called, making your entire body tense before you slowly turned his way.

“Leave.” you spat, storming his way as he stumbled back at your response “Get out of my sight.” you glared daggers at him, roaming your eyes all over his body.

“He was my brother too.” he told you shakily, looking over your shoulder at the newest grave in the place.

“So now we’re family again.” you said with a sardonic look in your face “He still had the mark in his arm, so do I.” you pulled your sleeve up, thrusting your arm in his face as he closed his eyes shut. Your arm dropping like dead weight at your side, never bothering to cover it again.

“I had to get out of there.” he tried to explain “You don’t know what it was like for me.”

“You think we lived a fairy tale? The perfect life?” you asked in disbelief.

“It was easier for you.”

“Merlin, Sirius. We had to become Death Eaters, I had to take care of Regulus, He had to kill!” you shouted, pointing angrily at the grave as you looked for his eyes.

“But of course, I’m sure being a Gryffindor was a torture, running to the Potter’s and living the dream, forgetting you even had a family.”

“It wasn’t like that and you know it!” he snapped, his eyes turning to you as tears threatened to spill at any moment.

“Oh no!” you said with a breathless laugh, shaking your head as you poked his chest “You don’t get to cry for him.”

“He is more my brother than he is yours.” he said bitterly, the pain crossing your face making him regret his words instantly, but it was too late for that.

“Then where were you the past four years, Sirius?!” you screamed “Why did you leave when I told you I had a plan to get us all out of that nightmare? Huh?” you asked in tears, seeing him frozen in place and just as you had imagined all this time: without an answer.

“I thought…” he stuttered, a rare sight in him as you stood there expectant of his answer, only for his words to die down.

“You didn’t think, Sirius.” you told him with a sigh “And if you did you only thought of yourself, as usual.” you said bitterly “We could have left that place together, but you had to be your selfish self and ruin everything for Regulus. I could have left,” you said placing a hand in your chest “But I stayed for him. And you left for yourself.”

“I’m sorry.” he mumbled after a long minute of silence, a tear dropping from his lashes on his cheek.

You walked to stand beside him, leaning to his side “I want you to drown in tears of guilt.” you whispered in his ear, glancing slowly to his face. You met his eyes before your gaze fell on the tear resting against his skin. “I want you to choke on your own tears as you realize you have no right to be here.” you said, brushing your thumb over the tear rolling down his face “You don’t get to cry, Sirius.”

TAGS:

Skittles @fanficflaneuse @nebulablakemurphy @lupins-sweater @accio-rogers @gloriousrebelrunaway @slytherinprincess03 @not-today-anxiety @strawberriesonsummer @infinity1o1 @haphazardhufflepuff @deafgirltingz @summer-writes @herstory-study @peeves-a-legend

590 notes · View notes

charlottesmidnight · 3 years

Note

Sirius x twin!reader where he runs away and doesn't say goodbye or anything, and they've always had a bad relationship because reader is like regulus and sirius is, well, sirius. baso angst where the reader is now ignoring sirius at hogwarts and sirius is trying to talk to her which is strange because before it was the other way round. she snaps and tells sirius how he knew what would happen if she ran away, and it was that she would get twice as many bad things to make up for sirius not (1)

the forgotten sister

sirius black x fem!twin!slytherin!reader

summary: sirius leaves you with aching despair the the faults that comes with being a black heir.

word count: 2.7k

warnings: child abuse, arranged marriage, angst, mentions of being imprisoned, mentions of death, mentions of violence, being disowned, mentions of death eaters, bad mental health, insinuation of depression, insinuation of a panic attack and bad sibling relationships

a/n: rate this cuz idk how to write angst but this has been sitting in my inbox for so long i’m so sorry

despair.

dejection.

guilt.

it was clear as day in your thought-stricken mind, without a second thought it ran thickly through your families veins for generations. every single heir of the noble house of black had the one ranging emotion of anything in a malicious, loathsome, vile and horrid context.

brothers, they were suppose to protect their siblings, love and nurture them above anyone else. they were suppose to kiss your forehead when you were sad, play with your barbies till they wanted to rip out their eyes because you had nobody else to play with, they were suppose to show another emotion than trepidation.

twins, the bond shared between them in unmatchable to any other sibling, they shared a womb for nine months, a direct bond, no seperation for nine months, thirty nine weeks, two hundred and seventy three days, a total of six hundred, five thousand and seventy hours together. a bond that should last a lifetime, of happiness, absentminded chuckles, homeliness, and love.

that’s what it should have, that’s how it should look in the peering eyes of anyone who had looked upon the similar featured siblings.

sixteen years, the only thing you had receiving in attempts of happiness, absentminded chuckles, homeliness, and love; but not everybody got what they wanted, in return you had received the raw sickly end of despair, dejection and guilt. what could such a young girl do to upset her brother from the very second her life begun? since the first weep that left sirius’ mouth, it almost felt like a duty ringing through your brain like a recurrent lullaby rather than a curse to be ignored by your family, and to only serve them when they deemed necessary for your forgotten presence.

rather than the lullaby on how a spider ran up a web, the only word familiar words in your brain since the ripe age of six was ‘crucio.’ the red tinging flare that sped across your living room like a jolt of lightening from the sky had just become a familiar sight to see at while your panic stricken figure strided through your house for just a few seconds more of peace.

dense words could be shared with your twin, not even a ‘good morning’ on most days. maybe a subtle nod when he first saw you as you both woke from your slumber if you were lucky, maybe even a sparing glance once or twice throughout the day. the first and last born female at the hands of walburga and orion black was simply ignored, a nobody, absolutely and completely nothing.

atleast sirius was there, he may not have spoke to you, or even looked in your direction but his presence in the dreadful household could’ve been enough, enough to put your blearing mind at ease for the night. that you had survived another day, that the next passing day his presence still comforted you because he was still there, that even though he didn’t protect you; he could protect regulus when he deemed fit, and as much as it put you in a absentminded agony, you appreciated his efforts to your youngest brother.

the following morning you woke up, his presence was diminished. his aura had vanished, the pungent smell of nicotine had left no trace on the stygian walls, the husk smell of expensive leather no longer enveloped in your ventilation and the irritating scent of his nose itching cologne was in absentia.

twin-tuition the muggles muttered, when two siblings who shared a whom could know almost everything and anything about each other without a second blip of thought. the walk to his room was excruciating, because in your heart his comforting presence had fled. the pink floyd and beatles posters had been torn from the walls, the mahogany wood from his drawers had been completely dismembered and his closet had been utterly ransacked.

he had left; he had left you.

that was the feeling of despair.

not even a note in his absence, not an explanation, not a second thought, sirius was gone; and sirius was not ever coming back.

the duration of the winter ‘holidays’ had seemingly passed slower than usual with the absence of your brother, the dismembering two weeks had finally been put on hold on your mind. finally finding the will to get out of your bed and put your mental health back to where it could’ve functioned at a less than normal way, the usual way. except you were sent back onto the hogwarts express only clinging onto the younger brother you had left, mind you he would’ve went off the second he stepped aboard but three seconds with your brother could’ve put you off for nine hours.

there was no will to try, no persuasive black ‘i get what i want’ attitude left churning in your system, the feeling of disgust trembling through your veins that your family would never accept you as long as you remained ‘y/n’ and not ‘y/n black,’ so you had to do what was right to protect regulus. because even though his nurturing feelings were inattentive, you would still do what was necessary to protect him.

if you weren’t the keen resemblance of your family you could’ve believed that you were adopted, having no will to become a follower of the dark lord, and no will to produce dark magic.

yet, you did what you had to do, an action that in no way would have been thought about for you; but you had what the other noble heirs lacked, compassion.

every corner you turned you had no will to search for the gryffindor brunette, your eyes didn’t erratically search for his searing silver irises, you didn’t attempt to decipher the red and gold colours from the green and silver that could’ve been crowded amongst the library, or the great hall. any will you had left for the receiving end of love from your family had utterly vanished.

that was the feeling of dejection.

sirius knew that prior years to hogwarts that you had rapidly searched for him in every single corner, mind you even there was a possibility he wasn’t there; you never faltered, you still gaped intently. it gave him the slight aching pain that he carried with himself, but the viridescent green you wore had him believing that you were simply no better than lucius malfoy or evan rosier.

it began to itch at his neck that you no longer had the need to know if he cared, if he was in the same room as you, if you even had the decree to call him your brother anymore. seemingly, you were always in between the walls of the library, a vermillion, maybe amber hued book sturdy between your hands in your grasp as you flipped the pages.

if you hadn’t shared the infamous last name, people would have never believed the two of you were what you called siblings, twin brother and sister. the epitome prankster, outgoing, and womanizer of hogwarts, the timid, skittish, quiet pureblood slytherin; and they just happened to share the same blood.

the female twin adorned reading, not because each book had different words carved upon its ivory paper, and not because there were hidden messages upon the words she so happen to enjoy deciphering but she loved reading partially because it allowed her to cry over someone else’s sadness when she could no longer identify her own.

her heart left sunken, submerged into somebody else’s misery because her own feelings enough weren’t able to bare.

he was silent for once, his mouth not barking up a laugh with his mates, he wasn’t sauntering around like he owned hogwarts himself, he was timidly walking into the depths of the library that were hidden from students. he was suddenly thoughtless, but his mind was not clear, and now face to face with the ghost of his sister; someone whom he had no intention to know, but now the wave of empathy ridden into his bloodstream as he saw the sudden tears glaze her eyes.

“you— you don’t look for me anymore. i noticed that, you don’t try and, try and look.” he started almost rudely, the first sentence he had ever uttered to his sibling was assumably how she didn’t care for his presence anymore. he was unable to produce many words at his shock, his nimble fingers anxiously shoving themselves into the grey slacks he had boughten for this years semester.

“i tried, at first. but you’re not worth a look anymore, sirius, because everywhere i go, the shadow of you is all i see.” as you contributed your words they only continued to be more broken, and stammered. the whimper in your tone clear as day as you spoke to someone you once called family, and now a sudden stranger.

“you left sirius, you left your sister, you left your brother. you left the people that needed you most because you’re selfish, you were thinking of you, not of us. so you don’t fucking deserve to be considered anymore, you don’t earn my respect on being thought about, sirius,” you were tired, achingly tired of fighting. you were tremendously exhausted of trying to fight for just a tinge of acknowledgments from your family members.

“you knew if you ran and you didn’t take us with you it would get worse, and you did it anyway. that makes you a coward, i guess the sorting hat does make mistakes after all.” you concluded, now wearied from your brother suddenly giving you the time of day when you don’t care to yearn for it anymore. his decisions affecting you single-handedly the most, your emotions no longer considering his aching feelings as his sister dismissed him at the similar treatment you had recurrently received.

“now i’ve got this penetrating, life altering ink on my wrist, because of your foolish actions. i have to pay for it, and a husband awaiting me. so now that you’re going all cry baby on me because i don’t try and find you anymore, you can stick your dreary where it came from because your damage is done.”

he had no thoughts, no words, completely ambushed. his older twin sister, someone whomst he adorned as his role model as a young boy, something he would never admit to as a child due to his stubborn nature, was now a death eater and profused in an arranged marriage because he couldn’t give a thought about his despairing twin. but now sirius had finally revived the raw end of the final emotion,

he had felt the emotion of guilt.

because even though he was trying to scoundrel some effort of empathy towards you the only thing displayed in front of him was the way your eyes spoke a thousand words but no one ever took the time to read them.

he never took time to read them.

“you need to leave— you need to run! w—why are you still there?” he started to hastily question as he peered at you erratically. his mind suddenly starting to boggle with questions as to why you would keep yourself in such a harmful situation, why you wouldn’t just run like he did.

it was simple to you, you weren’t selfish, you weren’t sirius.

“because i cannot leave regulus in that god forsaken house, the dark lord and his pesky followers would find me, and our parents would torture me, and murder me without remorse.” you finished, saying it too him like you had scribbled it upon a paper and practiced reading it every night like you were preparing for an exam, as if you would be questioned and persuaded to leave under the hands of your parents.

“i heard you— with regulus, you wanted to take him but not me. you almost brought him with you to the potters,” you revealed to the gryffindor, finally having the will to tell him clearly, on how he had wronged you in life and that there was absolutely nothing he could do to fix his actions.

“why do you never pick me sirius? why do you not want me as your sister? ‘ve always tried to protect you, why haven’t you done the same?!” at first your tone was monotone, almost dead but as your words continued your patience grew shorter and your rage grew larger.

your hand further having to clasp over your mouth by the end of your sentence before your classmates would’ve have gotten curious, and nosy at the altercation that was happening between the death eater and the disowned behind the shelves.

“i don’t— i don’t know, i just, s’different.” he was left thinking in confusion as to why he treated you differently, maybe it’s because you were the eldest, maybe you were female and in his eyes you possibly resembled his mother, maybe he had absolutely no idea as to why he treated you different.

“you dont— you don’t know? suddenly when i don’t give a shit about you, your yearning for your older sisters love. well guess what sirius, you’re not going to get it. your damage is done and there’s nothing to reverse it; so bugger off with your gryffindor mates, and your new family. if you want regulus to have a decent life from what he can live left, take him now before they take him too.” you concluded,

your first and last conversation occurring with your brother, several words left unsaid as you left him dumbfounded in the library, feeling the shoulder on shoulder collision as you left.

breathe in, breathe out. simple, again, again, again. the valley of tears were almost screaming at your waterline to let loose, to cry, to scream, to do something, anything. perhaps instead, you stood astonishingly still inside the girls lavatory, thinking, just thinking.

‘what did i do in my past life to deserve this now’ it was a simple and clear question, one that could never be answered, one without an explanation.

but yet you yearned for such a simple, yet complicated answer, maybe in another life sirius had the will to know you, your parents had the decree to love you, and maybe you weren’t sent down a path of affliction.

but that was another life, it wasn’t yours.

time went by, seconds, minutes, hours, weeks and years. they flew by, and now you were no longer that sixteen year old girl. you were eighteen, dressed in ivory with a small train at your feet, makeup painted on your eyelids, a small veil placed onto your head and your hands throughly squeezed in another’s; with the dreadful matching injected ink into your inner left fore-arms.

as the years had flew to that moment, lost was a lovely place to find yourself, but it simply wasn’t enough; it would never be enough. you had to wear the mask, ever noble heir of black had their own personal one, the one that covered every detailed flaw of you.

because after watching both of your brother’s, your supposed nurturers, your protectors, the ones that were suppose to love each and every bit of your aching soul left, you never realized how strong you had to be until being strong was your only choice that remained.

because in essence happiness is just blissful delusion, that esentially wouldn’t last forever no matter how exceedingly much you pleaded to merlin for it too last a second, maybe a minute if you were lucky.

but noble heirs of black weren’t lucky, they were cursed. and now you were finally brought upon to carry the tradition your children would be barred with, now carrying the last name of ‘dolohov.’

still remembering clear as day, like the sun was beaming into your viewpoint that one conversation you had shared with sirius in the library. the despairing love still left in your heart for your brother, your brother who stood up for regulus.

no matter how much they dismissed you as their protector, as their sister, as someone who loved them, you would always carry love for them in your trembling heart. after the amount of curses you took in their place, the screaming threats, the weeps from both of your brothers that stained your clothes, the times you had to face your parents in their absence.

you still had love for them, even if it wasn’t returned.

perhaps someday when you found the courage you crawl back home, beaten, defeated, maybe half dead. but not as long as you could remember the mark of family embedded into your heart, and your arm.

the noble heir’s of black, imprisoned, dead, and married off.

taglist: @fific7 @wisedreamcatcher @kittykylax @ronbrokemyheart @aspiringsloth20 @georgeswh0re @amourtentiaa @msmb @fangouria @five-cups-of-coffee @dracofknmalfoy @emmaev @serenitywilderness @artemis1orion @sirius-animagus @famdomhideout @hufflepogue @kirascottage @luvvninaz @miraclesoflove @black-like-my-soul

911 notes · View notes

charlottesmidnight · 3 years

Note

the forgotten sister

sirius black x fem!twin!slytherin!reader

summary: sirius leaves you with aching despair the the faults that comes with being a black heir.

word count: 2.7k

a/n: rate this cuz idk how to write angst but this has been sitting in my inbox for so long i’m so sorry

despair.

dejection.

guilt.

that’s what it should have, that’s how it should look in the peering eyes of anyone who had looked upon the similar featured siblings.

he had left; he had left you.

that was the feeling of despair.

not even a note in his absence, not an explanation, not a second thought, sirius was gone; and sirius was not ever coming back.

if you weren’t the keen resemblance of your family you could’ve believed that you were adopted, having no will to become a follower of the dark lord, and no will to produce dark magic.

yet, you did what you had to do, an action that in no way would have been thought about for you; but you had what the other noble heirs lacked, compassion.

that was the feeling of dejection.

her heart left sunken, submerged into somebody else’s misery because her own feelings enough weren’t able to bare.

he had felt the emotion of guilt.

he never took time to read them.

it was simple to you, you weren’t selfish, you weren’t sirius.

your first and last conversation occurring with your brother, several words left unsaid as you left him dumbfounded in the library, feeling the shoulder on shoulder collision as you left.

‘what did i do in my past life to deserve this now’ it was a simple and clear question, one that could never be answered, one without an explanation.

but that was another life, it wasn’t yours.

you still had love for them, even if it wasn’t returned.

perhaps someday when you found the courage you crawl back home, beaten, defeated, maybe half dead. but not as long as you could remember the mark of family embedded into your heart, and your arm.

the noble heir’s of black, imprisoned, dead, and married off.

911 notes · View notes

charlottesmidnight · 3 years

Text

Ok this made me sob. Like really sob.

I Miss You || P.P + The Marauders

description- peter reminisces in what he had before the war

tw - mention of death, violence, and abuse

November 3rd, 1981

peter laid on his back, staring at the old, battered ceiling above him. there were rips and tears, holes covering most it.

he was alone, not that surprising. he’d been alone for awhile now, even before that night.

he winced, closing his eyes before the tears had a chance to surface.

it’s been 3 days.

he could remember the way james’ eyes filled with regret, swirling with the disappointment he no doubt felt the moment he caught peter’s eyes.

he could remember the way he frantically deserved for his wand, but peter knew it was too late, james’ wand laid heavy in his pocket, and peter’s hands shook as he watched his best friend call out to the love of his life, his dying breath begging them to run.

peter winced, he didn’t deserve to call james his best friend, not after what he did.

but he could remember the sickening sound of james’ body hitting the floor, he remembers the flash of light, the laughs surrounding him as his blood rushed to his ears and he struggled to breathe, as if he was the one hit with the killing curse.

and when he walked past, james was clutching onto a necklace he was wearing. peter had to will the tears out of his eyes, that was their necklace.

each marauder had one, a necklace enchanted with their magic, just like the map, so none of them were ever alone.

even remembering it now, peter felt a tear fall from his face. james died clutching that necklace, and peter didn’t even deserve to be thinking of him.

peter didn’t deserve to be thinking about any of them, yet for the past 3 days it was all he could do.

sit in this room, in some abandoned house in the woods, laying on this bed, holding onto a pillow as if it was a life source.

he hadn’t eaten, or drank anything really. he figured he didn’t deserve it, a slow, painful death would be the closest to what he did deserve.

all he’d done was sit and think. he hadn’t let himself cry, or make any noise. but he wanted to, he desperately wanted to. he anted to rip the house apart around him, he wanted to scream until the gods brought james back, he wanted to scratch at the mark on his arm, he wanted to yell for someone to hold a wand to his throat, or at the very least, knock some of his teeth in.

he wanted to break and break and never stop breaking.

the deaths may have not come from his wand, but the blood was still on his hands.

not that the world knew that, no, they thought sirius had done it. sirius black, of all people. sickening, for them to think he’d ever be as low as peter.

peter could remember him too, the way his hands shook and his teeth gritted as his gripped his wand so tight his fingers turned white. he remembered sirius running, tears streaming down his face with cries of “why?” and “how could you?” falling from his lips.

peter wishes he had an answer for him, he wishes he knew.

but in reality he had no reason, he was not tortured, he was not manipulated, nobody was held hostage, nothing. he just did it.

and peter reckons that’s the worst part.

most people have a reason, most people have a story, a loss, something to fight for. and yet peter did not.

he reckons that makes him the worst kind of monster.

he held the pillow a little tighter, breath picking up in his chest.

remus, oh remus.

remus was on a mission, he very well was probably still on that mission.

what would he do? will someone send him a letter? or will dumbledore visit him himself?

will remus be okay? james and sirius, both gone. remus will break down. remus will claw at his skin, throw himself at walls, let himself be used as a rag doll. remus will spend full moons alone again.

peter’s heart stopped.

remus would be alone. remus will get hurt. remus’ wolf won’t know what to do, it’ll rip him apart. remus won’t be able to patch himself up, he won’t be able to get help. remus might just let his wolf ruin him. remus might die too.

“no, no, no.” peter whimpered, shaking his head, breath becoming quicker.

‘sirius will die too’ a voice whispered back to him, and peter squeezed his eyes tighter, willing the bad thoughts to go away, just for one moment.

they can’t die, they can’t. peter doesn’t want them to die, peter didn’t mean for them to die. he was suppose to save them, they can’t die.

peter was pushed back into memories he wished he could forget, but desperately clung onto.

i. peter could feel the blood rushing to his head, could feel his own heart racing to get out of his chest. it was too loud, there was too many people, their magic was overwhelming.

peter wanted to cry, he felt the tears swelling in his eyes. he just wanted to go home.

he gasped as he felt a hand slip in his, turning to his right, he saw a flash of a smile so bright it rivaled the suns, long black hair, blue eyes, sirius.

he tugged on his hand, leading peter away from the crowded common room, into the quiet, safe place of their dorm. leading peter to sit on james’ bed before crouching in front of him.

“pete? are you alright?” his soft voice carried through the room, past the blood clouding peter’s ears, rushing through his body like a deep breath of relief, to have something to familiar.

peter tried to nod, tried to tell him he was okay, he was fine. but his body wouldn’t listen, and instead the overwhelming pressure of the entire day crushed him, letting the tears he’d been so desperately trying to keep at bay, fall.

sirius was quick, eyes scanning to make sure peter wasn’t hurt, before gently pulling the 15 year old to his chest, combing his finger through his hair as he hummed a tune peter could not make out.

peters hands came to clutch at sirius jacket, gripping tightly like it was the only thing keeping him from sinking into the earth, and letting it swallow him whole.

sirius was patient, letting peter cling to him, letting him cry, and he just sat there, holding him together, softly singing.

sirius was always this soft, this gentle, with peter. he cared like an older brother, wiping his tears, promising him it would be okay, swearing not to leave his side. sirius always said what peter needed to hear, sirius was always there when peter was overwhelmed.

now was no different, as he pulled away, using his sleeve to wipe the tears from peters face.

“would you like to take a nap?” he asked gently, gesturing to the giant pile of blankets james’ kept on his bed. sirius did not question if peter was okay, he knew he wasn’t, or if he wanted to talk, he knew he didn’t.

peter nodded, scooting up on the bed, letting himself be wrapped in a blanket that smelled too much like james, but was glad for the familiar comfort. and managed to smile when sirius plopped next to him, his won blanket wrapped around him.

and sirius just stayed there, gently humming that same song, letting peter bask in the presence of not being alone, as long as he needed.

no words needed to be said, peter eventually drifted off to sleep, welcoming the comfort sirius radiated, like the stars on the darkest nights.

and when peter woke up, sirius was still there, reading some muggle book he got, and peter realized then that sirius wouldn’t leave him. that sirius was his brother. that sirius loved him.

ii. peter hated eating alone. it reminded him of his house, how he’d sit at the kitchen table hearing his parents argue, forcing himself to finish the food in front of him so he could go back to his room.

he hated being alone in general, but especially when he was eating. but james had quidditch practice, and sirius was in detention, so he sat down for dinner alone.

granted there was other gryffindors, lily evans was just a few spots down, marlene was with her as well, but he wasn’t that close to them, he didn’t feel safe with them.

peter picked at his food, moving it around with his fork as he felt a sickening feeling wash over him, he hated it. maybe he’d take the food back to the dorm, atleast he’d be in his bed rather than surrounded by people who didn’t notice him.

yet, before he could make a move, someone say down in front of him. peter made a move to look up, eyes going over the tan sweater, landing on a scar ridden face he’d never been happier to see.

“moony” he breathed out, relief washing over him as remus gave him his signature small smile.

“hiya peter, you left without me.” his soft voice carried over the great hall, making peter feel better, safe.

remus was there, casually keeping conversation about the astronomy homework. he kept eye contact with peter, making him feel like the rest of the world dimmed out, and it was just the small safe bubble of friendship, he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

especially when remus offered an extra roll, eyes slighlty crinkled around the edges as he smiled. it reminded peter of home, not of the yelling and old rooms, not of the way he mother looked at him durning the summer.

no, it reminded him of laughs shared under stars light, of guitar strings playing loudly in common rooms, of lollipops and chocolate frogs, of train rides and quidditch games.

remus reminded him of home, the home he had here. the one that kept him safe, kept him loved, the home he had built with the marauders. the home they all deserved.

iii. james potter was the human embodiment of the sun, peter was well aware. the same way sirius was the stars, and remus was the moon.

james was always there, even when peter was a kid. to open his arms and welcome him to the light, make sure he was safe.

james was always there, for as long as peter could remember, and he was there every time he needed him.

peter felt his body want to give in as he stepped onto the platform, he mother hadn’t sent him off, not that she genuinely had in years, but she didn’t even bother this year. a push out the door, a threat to try and come back, and that was all.

peter was tired, emotionally, physically. he wasn’t even sure he wanted to get on that train, rather just take whatever he had in his trunk and run off to some muggle town he’d finally be at peace in.

and he was debating, it was their last year at hogwarts, he didn’t need to be there, not really. the war was raging on, the classes he’d take wouldn’t even matter if he died after one step into the real wizarding world.

and plus, the marauders would be fine without him, he thought bitterly. the sun, the moon, the stars. there was no room for him, and that was fine. it was okay, they all looked so happy together, they belonged. he was happy for them, it’s all he ever wanted.

peter went to go turn around, to really leave, when he heard it. a shout, so distinctive it made his heart race and his head turn around.

“PETE!”, and there he was, the sun himself, arms spread wide, giant smile on his face. his trunk was thrown carelessly beside him, as james stated to walk towards peter.

and almost as if james knew, as if he could take one look at peter and tell, he wrapped his arms around him, engulfing him in the warmest, most secure hug he’d had in months.

“missed you peter, you didn’t visit this summer.” there was almost a pout in his voice that made peter stifle a laugh, letting himself be squeezed against the boy tighter, letting his own arms wrap around james and practically melt into the affection.

“sorry” he mumbled, burying his face in james’ chest, eyes closed to prevent tears from falling, what a baby, he thought.

“‘s okay, just not the same without you.” and that, james always knew what to say. what to do. peter felt like he didn’t belong, like he was floating away, but james pulled him back to the ground, every time.

peter wanted to cry, feeling at home with his best friend. he couldn’t imagine why he thought he could do it without him, without them. because here, now, waiting for remus and sirius on the platform, peter finally let himself breathe, let himself feel.

and he felt like he belonged.

tears were finally falling, as peter grasped righting to the pillow, burying his face into it as if it would stop the sobs that raked his body.

it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t.

flashes of smiles and warm hands, star nights and study groups, flying and crashing muggle towns went through his head.

he tried to shake them out, make them stop. he didn’t want to think about it, he didn’t want to think about what he had, what he ruined.

but his brain never listened, and the universe was no longer on his side.

as he thought, without the sun, without the moon, without the stars, the universe was nothing. without them, peter was nothing.

a horrid sob ripped from his throat, his whole body shook, it was cold, but he deserved it.

his hands desperately grabbed into his own necklace, ripping it off his chest and throwing it across the room, a dull thump making its way to his ears.

“i miss you.” he sobbed, as if it would bring them back, as if it would take him back in time, to when remus would wipe his tears, and sirius would read out loud, and james would rush into a hug.

but it didn’t, and it never would.

“i miss you.”

103 notes · View notes

charlottesmidnight · 3 years

Text

High Heels in the Hallway

also available on AO3

“Sirius wakes in the middle of the night, hearing his mother’s footsteps in the hallway.”

angst, hurt/comfort

content warnings for implied/referenced child abuse and panic attacks

Footsteps. Sirius woke with a start. The ticking sound of high heels, with slight time differences as if the wearer walked with a slight limp. Mother.

Where was he? He tried to look around, but it was too dark. He couldn’t see anything. He felt a bed beneath him. He must be in his room—his attempt to run away must have failed. Now she was coming to punish him. Shit shit shit.

The sound came closer. He couldn’t get away. He put his hands over his ears, anything to not hear his mother come closer; as if that would make her disappear. It didn’t help. The sound persisted, as if it was coming directly through his brain.

Sirius’s breathing quickened.

Tick, tick, tick. Like a doomsday clock. He felt like the air didn’t have enough oxygen; as if someone had thinned the air—diluted it like vinegar until nearly nothing remained. She was coming, and he couldn’t escape or defend himself.

Tick, tick, tick. Sirius’s chest was heaving rapidly. He was shaking like a leaf during a storm; just barely holding onto the branch was his sanity. Tick. The sound got impossibly close. Tick. She’d be here any moment now. Tick.

“Please, no.” His voice was shaky. Tick. “Please, I’m begging you.” Tick. Tears streamed down his face. He was rocking back and forth, hands over his ears as the sound got ever closer. “Please.”

Suddenly, the light flickered on.

“Sirius?”

A male voice. A face appeared in the doorway.

“J-James?”

“Yes. It’s me.” James sat down in front of Sirius and looked him in the eyes. “You’re at my house. You’re with me. You’re safe.”

It all came flooding back to Sirius. He’d arrived last night on the Potters’ doorstep. Monty and Mia had taken him in. He’d slept in the bedroom next to James’s room. He lived here now, at the Potters’. Not at Grimmauld place. Not with his parents. He was safe.

Sirius collapsed—all the tension had disappeared from his body like a deflated balloon. He could finally breathe.

“Could you…” he started, but his voice faltered. James nodded at him encouragingly, his eyes kind and understanding. “Could you please… stay with me?”

James smiled.

“Of course.”

He crawled into the bed next to Sirius. The nightlight stayed on, and they snuggled together. James was right beside him, heat radiating off him and keeping Sirius warm. Sirius felt his eyelids begin to droop. He’d imagined all of it, was his last thought before he dozed off to sleep.

He was safe.

42 notes · View notes

charlottesmidnight · 3 years

Text

31 October || The Marauders

Summary: From 31 October 1971 to 31 October 1981. Time really flies doesn’t it?

A/N: Another kinda messy fanfic for you guys which will probably be my last one for like a week because I have to back to school school :(

Word Count: 1.5k

31 October 1971 James and Sirius dashed down the hall of hogwarts in an attempt to beat each other. However, the person who beat both of them was the one and only Professor McGonagall, their so-called favourite professor. “Mr Black, Mr Potter,” she eyed both of them cautiously, examining their messy robes and untied tie. “I wish to remind you that the next time I catch both of you running in the hallways I will make you run laps on the quidditch field until your legs no longer permit you to run” She said in a voice laced with seriousness while she flicked her wand to fixed the mess that was Sirius and James’ uniforms.

Sirius and James nodded politely, gleaming at their favourite professor as she rolled her eyes in annoyance. Right as she turned her back, the young boys immediately resumed the race to the great hall. The quickly dissipating loud footsteps caused the professor to sigh deeply before she returned to what she was doing before.

The 11-year-olds dashed to the Gryffindor table, with Sirius throwing himself onto the seat just ever so slightly faster than James managed to. Laughter erupted from the table of fellow 1st years as Sirius stuck out his tongue to a sulking James who slumped down into his seat. “This is where I said I told you so.” Sirius gloated, a smile stretching from ear to ear. “I believe you do owe me something now…” Sirius said as he stretched his hand towards James. “You’ll get your lemondrops when we get back to the dorm” James rolled his eyes, slapping away Sirius’ outstretched hands

31 October 1974 They had been preparing for the full moon for what had seemed like forever. Since their 2nd year when they found out about Remus’ so-called “furry little condition” they wanted to come up with a plan to help him. Whatever it might take. Hence, they decided upon a plan that James himself had come up with: To become animagus so that Remus might never spend another full moon alone. After 3 years of sleuthing and researching, they finally managed to acquire the skill of becoming animagi.

That night, the 4 of the marauders hiked out to the shrieking shack together. The moment they entered the shrieking shack, the danger of the situation began to sink in for all 4 of them. “This is a bad idea. You shouldn’t do this, I might hurt you. No scratch that, I will hurt you all of you. Please go.” Remus said, voice laced with insecurity and worry for his friend. He knew he was slowly beginning to lose himself and while he appreciated his friends’ attempts to help him, he didn’t want to hurt 3 of his best friends or do something even worse to them.

“No!” Sirius exclaimed exasperatedly, as he held onto Remus who was already losing his strength and control. “Remus, you are our friend, our brother, and we are definitely not letting you go through this alone. Not anymore.” James said with resolve as he glared back at Remus’ pleading eyes while Peter nodded, putting up as brave of a front as he could muster.

The marauders didn’t say much to anyone about what happened that night. A few people stared a little longer than they should’ve at a few of the new scratches and bruises the 4 boys gained that night but most assumed it was probably part of the many pranks they were pulling on someone.

From that night onwards, all 4 boys started to disappear on nights of the full moon every month to somewhere no one else in the school knew about.

31 October 1978 “Oh god please don’t tell me that there are more boxes,” Sirius gasped dramatically. James rolled his eyes as he replied, “No Sirius, there are no more boxes.” Exaggeratedly, Sirius threw his hand in his air, cheering. “Man-child he is,” Lily remarked sarcastically to Remus as she watched the two friends come into the house.

Right as Sirius entered the room, he collapsed on the new sofa, still covered in white cloth. “Hey! Butt off my sofa,” James exclaimed, lightly slapping Sirius on the head. Whining, Sirius was eventually dragged off the new sofa, landing on the carpeted floor with a thud, garnering a few chuckles from the rest of the group.

“Hey, what’s that?” Peter asked innocently as he pointed to the little black box placed at the side of the room. “Oh, that’s a big black box that has tiny muggles in them.” James replied confidently, causing Peter’s eyes to widen in both confusion and horror. Remus and Lily burst out laughing while Sirius furrowed his brows, looking around like a lost puppy in a park. “That's not-” Lily did not even have a chance to finish before Remus quickly interrupted her. “That’s exactly what it is.” Remus replied, smirking.

Laughing, he crawled forward and toyed with the knobs, turning on the muggle television. Peter jumped backwards as the muggles began conversing with each other while James tilted his head slightly. “Wait, those really are tiny muggles?” He asked. “Yup, you see we can even control them by turning this knob right here.” Lily said, barely even able to keep her laughter in. Sensing right through her lie however, James lunged forward at Lily, tickling her at her sides. Sirius, still disturbed, quickly fiddled with the buttons and knobs of the television before finally managing to turn it off. This only left Remus laughing at his two confused friends who really lacked a brain at times.

31 October 1980 “No, I’m fine here, standing perfectly still in the corner.” Sirius said as he leaned against the doorframe of the bedroom.

“Come on pads, you’re his godfather, you kind of have to hold him at some point!” replied James as he cuddled the little newborn swaddled in a blanket Molly had stitched for him.

“He’s so tiny… What if I break him?” Sirius replied, genuinely concerned and worried for the safety of his godson. He did not have the best reputation with kids after all. In fact he had close to zero experience with tiny humans like this one.

“At this point Harry’s more likely to break you.” sighed Remus exasperatedly causing Lily to snicker.

“How am I supposed to hold the tiny human anyways?” asked Sirius causing Remus to roll his eyes dramatically.

“You’ll figure it out.” James said as he practically shoved baby Harry into the hands of Sirius.

After quite a while of uncomfortable shifting on Sirius’ part, he finally managed to figure out how to actually hold the little child. He eventually looked up, giving the rest of the marauders (and Lily) a lopsided grin which they all returned. For a first-timer, he sure was good with kids.

31 October 1981 Clambering off his motorbike, SIrius found the one and only Hagrid standing in the front yard of the Potter residence. Fearing the worst, Sirius rushed the Hagrid only then realising the bundle of cloth that stirred in his hand. Hagrid gave him a look of sadness and pity and Sirius shook his head, and rushed past the front yard, flinging the door open so hard it nearly broke.

He saw only the back of a man, he collapsed onto the floor, head buried deep within someone’s chest. The scene felt all too familiar, nights of restless sleeps and nightmares all seemed to have hinted towards this: his greatest fear. He stumbled backwards, knocking into something he didn’t really care about anymore.

Startled, Remus turned around sharply, eyes swelling with tears. Sirius wished he hadn’t turned around because now there was an even clearer view of his friend his brother, pale and lifeless, dead on the floor. Sirius turned his head towards the stairs that led to the bedroom. He wanted to ask if Lily was alive and he opened his mouth but the words were unable to spill out because he already knew.

Remus shook his head, tears already spilling out of his eyes, rolling off his cheeks. Sirius already knew Lily was dead because if she were alive, Harry wouldn’t be in Hagrid’s arms, he would be in his mother’s. Harry… He thought. Almost as if paternal instincts kicked in he barged through the same front door to get Harry. From behind he heard Remus attempt to follow but his body seemed too emotionally drained to function.

“Hagrid, give me Harry. Now.” He said possessively which only made Hagrid sigh, his eyes softening. “I can’t, Dumbledore's orders” Hagrid said. “Bullshit, I’m his godfather!” Sirius spit. He knew Hagrid had no part in this but he was simply too tired and disoriented to talk politics. “I can't,” Hagrid replied.

“Why not?” Sirius fumed.

“You were the Potters’ secret keeper… Only one person could’ve told Voldemort their hiding place,” Hagrid stated in a soft voice.

This was when it clicked for Sirius. His eyes widened before they overflew with anger and rage. With resolve, Sirius instructed Hagrid to use his motorbike and get his godson to safety. Hesitantly, Hagrid nodded. Within the next second, Sirius had already disapparated away, leaving nothing but a couple specs of dust at the front door of the Potter residence.

What Sirius didn’t know was that the next time he would see his best friend and his godson again was 12 years later.

33 notes · View notes

charlottesmidnight · 3 years

Text

!! UPDATED !!

for general info, latest updates, donations, reporting an incident, etc.

for donations to #hateisavirus

for donations to Stop AAPI Hate

Watcher’s live panel

743 notes · View notes

charlottesmidnight · 3 years

Text

Lainey Molnar

234K notes · View notes

charlottesmidnight · 3 years

Text

Updated: 16 March 2021

Key: ❀ fluff ☆ angst

Click here to send request!

Lightning Era

Coming Soon!

Marauders Era

Sirius Black

➣ Distance Pt 1 || Pt 2 ☆

➣ Your Ghost ☆

Remus Lupin

➣ Wedding Bells ❀

Marauders

➣ 31 October ☆

Fantastic Beasts Era

Coming Soon!

#hp fanfic #Harry Potter #harry potter masterlist #hp masterlist #masterlist #harry potter fanfiction #marauders fanfiction #bridgerton #bridgerton fanfiction #bridgerton masterlist #masterpost

10 notes · View notes

charlottesmidnight · 3 years

Text

Wedding Bells || Remus Lupin

Summary: Remus recalls the highs of your relationship.

A/N: The summary doesn’t really do the story justice but it’s the first time I’m writing fluff and everything’s just super cute.

Word Count: 614

Remus never thought that he would be the one to settle down. Don’t get him wrong, it wasn’t because he didn’t want that white picket fence lifestyle. He simply never thought he was deserving of love. Despite his friends numerous attempts to prove he was in fact worthy of love, he never let himself get attached to anyone else. Every crush he ever had he brushed away, mainly because he felt that the moment they found out about his condition, they would never be able to see him the same. However, you were different. He remembered the time you first met.

It was the first night he was trying the wolfsbane potion Dumbledore had given him on a full moon. In his wolf form he remembered when he met you, in your fox form. He remembered you being terrified at first. After all, he was a large werewolf while you were just an averaged sized gray fox. He remembered you sprinting away to hide behind a few trees. He didn’t give it much thought at first, but when you eventually joined him and the rest of the marauders in animagus form playing a game of catch, he began to wonder if the fox was simply a smart animal or an animagus.

He only found out who the certain gray fox was when he met you again in defence against the dark arts class. That day, the class was practicing an advanced spell: the patronus charm. When he saw the corporeal patronus that you summoned (a fox) he suddenly got a hunch of who the gray fox might be. His hunch would only later be proven correct by the marauders’ sleuthing.

You both became good friends after he found out. I mean you did know about his furry little secret that barely anybody knew of and you accepted it. How could he not want to befriend you? However, Remus being the insecure little angel that he was determined not to let himself fall for you. Valiant was his attempt as both of you eventually ended up falling for each other.

You both kind of knew that you both had feelings for each other but Remus refused to admit it. So, you did what he was too terrified to do, ask him out. And… he rejected it, no explanation attached, leaving you slightly heartbroken but not at all surprised. You knew him well after all and was all too familiar with his “I’m not worthy enough to be loved” mindset. Met with rejection, you decided to channel your inner James Potter and started “chasing” him and after a few slaps on the heads by his best friends, he decided to accept the invitation quite hesitantly.

It took practically forever to convince Remus to let you love him but once he was over his old mindset, he practically fell head over heels for you. It didn’t take him long after that to officially ask you out.

Flash forward a few years, and here here he was. Standing at the altar equally nervous as he was in love. Every second that went past staring at the door felt like an eternity but when you walked in he really wouldn’t seem to mind spending an eternity just staring at your beauty. Accompanied by your father, you walked down the aisle, eyes fixed on the Remus at the altar who was on the verge of tears. As your father handed you over to Remus, you were finally able to meet his light brown eyes. Suddenly, both of you were brought back to the night both of you first met, the night where he met his soulmate and you met yours.

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin #remus lupin imagine #remus imagine #remus x y/n #remus fluff #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin fanfiction #hp marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders era #marauders imagine #marauders fluff #hp #hp fanfic #Harry Potter #remus one shot #remus lupin one shot

88 notes · View notes

charlottesmidnight · 3 years

Photo

NOOOOO YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO MAKE ME SOB LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!

hey, brother

16K notes · View notes

charlottesmidnight · 3 years

Text

Your Ghost || Sirius Black

Summary: The readers deals with the aftermath of 31 October 1981

A/N: Not my best work but I was inspired by the song “Dancing with your ghost” by sasha sloan so I wrote this 20 minutes before my class started. I may delete this later, the whole storyline was so messy I really didn’t know where I was going with this.

Word Count: 474

Swinging the door open aggressively, you stumbled into your apartment tripping over the random articles of clothing that littered the floor of the apartment. You staggered to the record player, casually putting on the record allowing it to play whatever was already on at the time. You grabbed the bottle of beer that laid haphazardly at the corner of the side table and proceeded to jump up and down, “dancing” manically to the music.

Crazily, you danced around the housing eventually tripping on an unidentified object that probably had been lying there for the whole month and fell clumsily onto the couch. That was when the song played.

“I stay up all night, tell myself I'm alright. Baby, you're just harder to see than most“

“Never got the chance to say a last goodbye. I gotta move on but it hurts to try”

Lying on the sofa, you turned your head to the left to stare at the fireplace, the picture frame being the only one that remained untouched, still perfectly in place.

The picture started to move, allowing you to relive the moment painfully. You and Sirius dancing along the side street, probably both drunk. Remus was there, he was designated driver, the only one sober. You remembered when Remus took the picture. It was meant as a joke, to capture the playful youthfulness of both you and Sirius. Now, it was the only remaining memory of him that wasn’t tainted.

Ever since you heard the news all you had been doing was thinking of him, wondering if you had missed any of the signs. You thought that after all he went through, being disowned from his family and all, he would never turn back there, doing what he did. You thought you knew him but now you felt that all you knew about him was false. That it was all a big facade.

You jumped off the sofa, harshly pulling out the record from the record player, destroying it in the process. You hurled it onto the floor, screaming out painfully at the record as if expecting it to respond. You crumpled onto the floor, into a weeping beside the record, letting out loud sobs that you were sure your neighbour could hear.

The loud sobbing made the knocking on the door practically inaudible. Hence it was quite a surprise when Remus let himself into the apartment to find you crying on the floor. He quickly wrapped his arms around you, just like he did the day before, the week before and the month before. Your tears seeped into his long sleeved shirt as he rubbed your back to comfort you.

There were 9 of you. Lily, Marlene, Dorcas, Mary, you, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter. Now, there were two of you, Remus and you. All you had were each other now.

#sirius black x reader #sirius imagine #sirius x y/n #sirius black imagine #Sirius Black #sirius angst #marauders fanfiction #hp #harry potter imagine #fanfic #sirius black fanfiction #Harry Potter #marauders era #marauders #sirius orion black #sirius one shot #sirius black one shot

83 notes · View notes

charlottesmidnight · 3 years

Text

Distance Pt. 2 || Sirius Black

Part 1 here

Summary: Years later, Sirius and y/n meet again.

A/N: This part is really really short but I’ve been in a writing slump since forever and I’m kind of forcing myself out of it? Anyways as you can see I’m a sucker for angst endings.

Word Count: 439

Sighing contentedly, you pushed open the door of the coffee shop to find the oh so familiar aroma of freshly brewed coffee filling your nose. You walked towards the counter to order the same order you would’ve ordered 10 years ago. The cashier smiled politely at you before asking for your name which you spelt out for her as slowly as possible hoping she would get it right.

“Sirius?” the barista called out. You looked up from your muggle phone, eyebrows furrowed in both confusion and curiosity. However, when you saw a man wearing a dark flannel with short dark hair walk past you to grab the cup of coffee, you immediately continued to look back down at your phone. You chuckled, realising that there were probably more than 1 Sirius in the world and such a coincidence would probably never happen. However, purely out of curiosity, your eyes followed the man to his seat, something about him made you feel like you’ve met him before.

Just as the man turned around to settle into his seat, you finally caught a glimpse of him. Sirius. Not just any Sirius, the Sirius. Stubble framed his sharp jawline, wrinkles slightly more visible at the side of his eyes and his forehead. Despite everything that had changed about him, his vibrant smile remained the same. The smile that could once make all of your worries and anxiety disappear now only made your heart ache with a longing and empty feeling. Only one smile could ever bring you back in time, to a better time filled with ambition, curiosity, courage, and love, that was his.

Right when he was about to sit down, his piercing grey eyes met yours ever so briefly before looking back down to the table. Then, with eyes slightly widened, he looked back up again. Both of you stared at each other, as if both of you were analysing each other. His eyes glimmered ever so slightly as his smile faltered. Your stare softened into one filled with emotions you couldn’t even begin to understand. One glance at each other was enough to practically stop time for both of you. It was almost like both of you were simultaneously brought back in time, to a time where you were his and he was yours.

However, time continues to pass, even if sometimes we don’t want it to. He gave you a weak smile, gently nodding his head as he slid down into his seat. Placing the cup of tea gently on the table, he turned back to face the woman beside him, gently placing a kiss on her lips.

#sirius black x reader #Sirius Black #sirius black imagine #marauders era #marauders fanfiction #sirius x y/n #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black angst #hp marauders #hp #harry potter imagine #sirius orion black

65 notes · View notes

charlottesmidnight · 3 years

Photo

95K notes · View notes

charlottesmidnight · 3 years

Text

Distance || Sirius Black

Part 2 here

Summary: Reader gets accepted into a prestigious school to pursue her dreams of becoming a healer. The only problem: it’s 3000 miles away from her heart and her home.

Words: 880

Warning: Angst

A/N: First time publishing my writing! Excuse the grammar errors, I didn’t really re-read this one :/

You stared at the piece of folded paper for what seemed like forever. It was a piece of paper that you would have been so excited to receive if you had been the same woman you were 6 months ago when she applied to the prestigious American healing academy, in fact you would’ve been over the moon. However, in six months a lot of things in life can change. In six months, you started dating your soulmate. So now, you weren't happy at all to receive the letter.

“Hello love,” Sirius greeted as he attacked into a hug from behind, breaking up her string of thoughts. “What do you have there?” He asked as you cautiously folded the letter and placed it in your pocket. “Nothing,” you replied, masking your inner turmoil with a bright smile as you pulled away from the hug and returned to you and Sirius’ shared room quietly making Sirius frown in confusion. He knew whatever you were hiding from him wasn’t “nothing” but he also knew that sometimes it was best to give you some space. Afterall, two of you might have only been dating for 6 months but both of you had been friends for much longer than that, he knew you like the back of his hand.

That night’s dinner was a quiet one with James and Lily out on their date, it was just you and Sirius. It was an awkward 30 minutes before Sirius spoke up.

“Are you okay?”

It took you a few seconds to consider what to say to Sirius before you finally replied.

“No.”

It only took one word to cause Sirius to look up from his meal and stop eating. He raised his eyebrows in concern as if asking you what was wrong and you took the sign to continue speaking.

“I got accepted by this prestigious American healer training academy.”

“That’s amazing.”

“No. No it’s not”

“Wait, you are still going to continue studying-”

You looked up from your plate and stared at Sirius, a hint of guilt present in your eyes, and it didn’t take him long to understand why.

“I think I might want to go to America.”

“And what exactly do you mean by ‘you think’”

“I want to go to America”

There was a pregnant pause as both you and Sirius attempted to comprehend the weight of the words you just spoke.

“Say something” you urged as the tension between both of you increased.

“I don’t know what to say.” he replied silently as he continued with his meal as if nothing even happened.

It was around midnight when Sirius crawled into bed with you already lying in it. You both had your backs turned towards its other, eyes closed but unable to speak. That was when Sirius decided to speak up again.

“Are you sure? About....the whole thing?”

“I think.” you replied which was enough to shut Sirius up for the rest of the night and the morning after that.

-1 week later-

“I need to tell the academy about my decision.” You said, voice low and hushed as you washed the dishes with Sirius right by your side.

“We’ll make it work.” He said with a voice equally as hushed.

“Really, you think we can make this work?” Your voice teeters on the brink of screaming. “You barely said a word to me all week and you think we can survive being 8 hours apart?” You scoffed.

“No. You want me to tell you the truth? No.” He said, almost slamming the plate in the soapy sink. “We had a plan. You attend St. Mungo’s healing school here and I undergo Auror training here. You can’t just dump a bomb on me and expect me to be ok. You know how rigorous both Auror training and Healer training can be! You can’t just expect me to fly out every Saturday just to see you for a few hours! We don’t even have that type of money or time!”

“I’m not asking you to visit me every week! We could visit each other during term breaks! We could write letters, we could make this work!” You sounded out, voiced laced with desperation.

“Oh so you think seeing each other 4 times a year is enough to sustain a healthy relationship?” He rebutted.

“I’m asking you to try” voice on the verge of breaking.

“What’s the point in trying if we already know the outcome?” Sirius replied, anger and sadness both equally evident in his tone as he walked away from the kitchen, leaving you alone, on the brink of tears.

Knowing Sirius was right hurt you. Knowing that seeing each other only 4 times a year was a stretch even for both of you. However, what hurt you even more was that Sirius didn’t even want to try and make it work. Wasn’t your relationship worth fighting for? Only 6 months of dating but 7 years of being best friends and that relationship wasn’t even worth fighting for?

You stormed out the kitchen, warm tears rolling down your face, as you headed to your room and pulled out your suitcase. Pulling out your muggle phone, you checked for how soon there would be a flight to New York City, America.

#sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius imagine #sirius black imagine #hp marauders #marauders era #marauders fanfiction #marauders imagine #harry potter #harry potter imagine

70 notes · View notes