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thisonesforfanfic · 4 years

Text

Light in the Dark (11/?)

Bucky x Reader

Word count: 1.3k

Summary: After allowing you to try helping him, Bucky left without a trace, not wanting to hurt you anymore

A/N: So, I really wanted a better picture to go with this one, but I couldn’t seem to find any that matched this part for me :/

The sheer feeling of recognition made him hesitate, when Bucky came to his senses you were already on the verge of blacking out, under his very own cold fingers. The strike aiming for your head was redirected to the wall, just a little to your left. The grip on your neck was almost immediately changed into a supporting hold on your back.

"Y/N? Please, please I- ...fuck... Talk to me Y/N" Salty tears streamed down his face, dripping over your limp body. The blood from the wall impact on his knuckle splattered on your already bruising neck, as he franticly checked for a pulse. ".....please wake up"

His words were no use, Bucky could still feel your heart beating, your eyes however remained shut as he took you to the corner and settled you in on the improvised bed, sitting across from you, holding your hand.

This took him back, not like he was remembering with you earlier, now it was every single Hydra mission he executed. The faces were no longer blurs, his targets no longer forgotten, all the blood on his hands had almost been topped off with yours, and he couldn't handle the idea of getting this close to it ever again.

----

The excruciating pain on the neck made it hard for you to even open your eyes at first. Trying to concentrate and healing it just enough to recollect your moves, you realized the silence surrounding you, all you could hear was breathing. Your breathing.

Your eyes burst open in panic, looking around for his familiar face, but Bucky is nowhere to be seen, you call out his name and nothing. He left.

Stumbling around the place, you searched for any sign of his things 'he just went to grab coffee, surely' , but there was nothing but a piece of paper where his backpack once was.

Your heart sank to your stomach as you realized what it truly was, with shaking hands you picked up the note as your eyes welled up

"Sorry"

---

It took you about a week to grow courage to tell Steve what happened.

"I can't believe he straight up left you like that" Steve's voice was more angry than sad for his friend dissaperance "he is just -" he changed the subject subtlely when he heard your sniffs quietly over the phone "Y/N, are you okay? I know it's like the tenth time i've asked you in the past 5 minutes... But I- oh... Okay, I'll be there in a minute" he distanced hismself from the phone as some muffled voices called out for him "Sorry. Y/N... I have an important mission to get to, I'm - Right! I'm sending Sam your way, okay?"

"You know- you don't have to Steve, I can fend for myself" you knew he didn't mean to portrait you as a damsel in distress or anything like that, but you weren't exactly eager to go out and meet someone, anywhere surrounded by God knows how many people. "plus, I don't want to put any of you in trouble"

"I know that, I just fear you'll kill Bucky if you find him on your own after what he just pulled" your soft laughter was taken as a yes "Okay, you remember his face, right? Where exactly should I tell him to meet you?"

"Just send him here to the central station, I'll find him" Berlin's central was huge, but the mainly glass structure made it quite easy for you to track someone while remaining incognito.

People didn't really care for others there, apart from the casual tourist stare. You sat on the floor, leaning against some shop wall with a backpack in between your legs. Since this was fairly common, people sitting on their suitcases, eyes glued to their phones, waiting for their train, you blended right in. It wasn't really comfortable being out in the open like this, but it was definitely the easiest place to hide in plain sight.

Sam didn't take long to show up after you took your place. However, it took you sometime to approach him, he could have been tailed, some precaution wouldn't hurt.

"You know, for a superhero, you definitely need to improve your stealth skills" your low voice made him jump before turning around and shaking his head at your chuckles

"I see what Steve meant by a very active sense of humor" he grinned and extended a hand to greet you

"Oh? Then I guess I'll have to live up to those expectations" you shook his hands and turned to the exit, Sam followed you out into the streets "and you better hope that leather jacket keeps you warm" your words ringed simultaneously with a cold breeze rushing through you as the doors opened.

The autumn chill kept the people on foot in the area to a minimum, apart from the occasional check, and some shivers, getting back to your safehouse was quite easy. You and Sam spent hours speculating possible locations Bucky could go to. 'Being seen as a tourist was also dreadful to him, he would want to go somewhere he spoke the language' though that didn't help a lot, Hydra had you learn pretty much every eastern European dialect.

"He wouldn't head to small towns either, even if all he wanted was peace and quiet, he'd stand out to locals way too much" Sam was focused on a large map opened on the floor, circling and crossing out the possibilities being discussed with a black sharpie.

"What about the places you've been already? Any chance of him going west?"

"I'd say they are quite low, as well as anywhere with a warmer weather at this time of year" your red pen striking notes of what you were saying on a tiny notebook "He wouldn't want to risk being recognized because of his arm"

"Well, that still leaves us basically with all the major cities on the north hemisphere" Sam let out a tired sigh

"At least we can cross out Spain, Portugal, France and Italy" you tried to sound cheerful with a weary smile on your face

"You are very optimistic, aren't you Y/N?" he started putting the maps away on his bag, neither of you had the energy to keep going today.

"Well, I did survived being captured, brainwashed, used as a massive destruction weapon, found 2 people - I assumed were long dead might I add- alive and well AND was basically given superpowers by an evil organization" You shrugged and laughed "I guess I have to be" his laugh was sweet and soothing, you hadn't realized how tense you were since Bucky had left.

Sam's presence was comforting, it was nice to be able to talk to someone who didn't see themselves as a bull and you as a china store. He had to stick around for a couple of days before heading back to the US, to compile all the information he could, then checking with a couple of contacts if they had anything. You offered the club as a place for him to stay if he wanted to lay low.

"As long as Tinman doesn't come bursting in on me while I'm here, I'm game" he smirked with his open arms, he reminded you of Bucky back in the war camp, a flirtatious hot mess.

You looked him up and down, as if checking him out, then placed one hand on your waist and looked down at the other.

"I don't think I'd need his help if you tried doing anything" you laughed through your cocky smile and Sam joined in

"Oh, that's how it is huh? I like you, you are cooler than Steve's other friends"

"I think you'd make apretty decent friend as well, birdman" you saw all the light fade from hiseyes as you called him that, and it made you crack up even louder than before,it took you a second to catch a breath "Okay, sorry... Let me show youwhere to keep your things then we can go grab some food"

#############

Thanks for reading!

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thisonesforfanfic · 4 years

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Light in the Dark (10/?)

Bucky x Reader

Word count: 2.2k

Summary: You and Bucky finally stop running around and settle in an abandoned nightclub as your safehouse for the time being, however, he is still reluctant in letting you help him recover

Bucky was hesitant to let you accompany him, but deep down, he didn't want you to leave either. After all, his feelings for you erupted once more and he wasn't ready to let you go so easily.

Just until I make sure no one is on our trail

Those words echoed on Bucky's mind as your head rested on him. It was about 3 am, there were still a couple hours to go until the train you jumped into got to the next station. The cargo wagon was silent and eerily familiar to him, Bucky let you rest for a while as the tension on him showed no sign of relieving any time soon.

You looked so peaceful, even your breath on his neck was comforting. This was definitely the hardest decision he had to make, risk hurting you himself, or not being there for you if you were ever in danger.

Lies. Yes, though not completely. He definitely wanted to keep you safe, but most of all, he wanted to keep your embrace, to have your scent overflowing his senses, the taste of your lips still lingered on his.

---

It was the fifth destination you were headed to, even though being with Bucky was amazing, you kinda missed not having to look over your shoulder whenever you were in public. It was a little less stressing after you left everything you had on you for a certain someone to retrieve.

Steve was mad as hell because you wouldn't wait for him to meet you, and even though you wanted him to be there as well, you had to make sure no one knew where you were. Bucky and yourself had been part of Hydra's elite squad, even if the organization was dismantled, the ones who knew about you, and how to control you, could take Bucky in a heartbeat, and that was a risk you were not willing to take.

"I know it's shitty Steve, but we have to keep moving, I wasn't as careful as I should have been. You have the locker number and the password"

"Y/N, don't be so stubborn, I can get there in just a couple of hours, ju-"

"Neither of us want to put you at risk Steve, and you know we can't sit still while they might be out here hunting our heads. We are leaving right now; I will contact you as soon as I can. Just keep these things safe. Please stay safe"

Aside from a couple trinkets, photos and documents, you had left everything behind, in fear you were being tracked somehow. If Hydra infiltrated Shield, what could guarantee that their experts didn't get to the gear Steve provided you beforehand? It would be foolish to think Hydra wouldn't use all of the power they had left to get you.

And sure, hiding out with Bucky was far from the worst-case scenario. It was already immensely better than your plan of running off on your own, back then Bucky was still the winter soldier, and you knew Hydra would have sent him after you. That felt like a thousand years ago. From seeing Steve, then Bucky, saving him from the organization that took Y/B/N life, followed by stalking him and now trying to lay low, even that morning in Spain felt like ancient history.

Feelings of passion and comfort sprung out since then, and though you tried to keep them back as much as you could, having Bucky at your reach made everything OK. Even if it was just his hand brushing against yours while walking, the slight grin he couldn't hold back when you tried lightening his mood, making him laugh.

"We're here" the low groan pulled you away from your thoughts

Bucky got up and extended a hand for you to follow. The train slowed down as yet another city approached in view, the short suburban constructions rushing past you on the outskirts of Berlin were the cue to jump off once again. Your grip on his hand tighten as you stood on the wagon's door. The leap was short, but by the speed you hit the ground, bruises would definitely show.

The necessary precautions were yet again made. Your waking hours were inverted, the few times you had seen daylight lately were either dusk or dawn, either entering a new hideout or transport, the places you sneaked into were usually long abandoned, and this time you both thought it was safe to stop skipping towns. After two nights sleeping at a backroom in what once had been a nightclub, it seemed as, if anyone had still been following you, you'd lost them.

However, this meant your time with Bucky was short, since this was his condition, being safe. And despite his earlier agreement, he didn’t really want you to use your powers on his mind.

"You want me to kill you?" His voice sent chills down your spine, and though you tried to keep a brave face, he could see right through it "Y/N, I won't let you- I can't let you do this, I'll never forgive myself if anything happens"

"James, listen to me" He was stiff, the best of intentions were not enough to make him cooperate "I can tie you up if you think you'll hit me that easily, but I won't let you go without at least trying to set you free" the space between you slimmed as you approached slowly, Bucky's tension becoming more controlling of him with every step you took "You would do the same for me" your words were soothing, but it didn't make the situation any easier. Bucky reluctantly nodded before pulling you into his arms

"Just promise me something" his forehead in yours, his lips barely brushing yours, you locked eyes, waiting for him to finish "knock me out before I can do anything"

You pressed your lips on his as if it was your last chance to do so, then pulled away with a smirk.

"As if you would even have the chance" your playful laugh echoed on the empty room while you both sat crossing your legs, facing each other. You rested your hands on his temples, allowing a sheer green glow to dance over his skin.

"This might sting a little" you waited for his nod to continue "try thinking of something you remember, a good moment"

"Go ahead" his eyes were shut, concentration emanating his every pore, his flinching was barely noticeable when the color became more intense, almost aggressively pressing against his skin before flowing into him.

There's no telling how long you did it for, it felt like hours, the painful groans Bucky let out were making in harder by the second for you to keep going, not long after, you felt the exhaustion numbing your limbs before collapsing on the floor, Bucky's voice calling out your name sounded so distant, his arms around you felt warm yet barely there.

"I'm okay" your voice was as loud as a whisper, you heard him curse something under his breath while burying his face on your neck "I just need a minute, alright?" You let your hand run through his hair, softly holding him in place

"No! We are not doing this, look at you!" He cupped your face in his hands, looking worried like you had never seen him before "You can barely open your eyes Y/N"

"Seriously, I just need to rest for a while" your senses were slowly coming back, making it a little easier to move "I only did this to my mind before, I didn't realize it took so much energy to do on someone else" you locked your Y/E/C eyes on his blue ones, with a reassuring look "It's just a different kind of healing... Like multiple gunshots all at once, too deep for me to heal it all without getting the best of me" Bucky was still worried, not willing to let you free of his grip.

"I promise Buck" you sat up straight, reaching for a flask you had left nearby "but how are you feeling?"

You took a sip of something that went burning down your throat. It felt like it was reviving you in a way, connecting you back to yourself. Alcohol only had this effect on you on rare occasions, when your powers were drained by so much use, like just now.

"I guess I'm okay? If anything, I feel some sort of lightness… I can remember some things more clearly, sure" you handed him the flask, he drank in gulps, as if the burning you felt didn't affect him at all "But Y/N... I don't think we should do this right now, you should rest"

"I will have to agree" you shrugged your shoulders "If it worked to any capacity, the effect of the healing shouldn't brush off too easily just yet... Besides, you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if I destroyed your ass while like this" a yawn took the place of your laughter as you got up, Bucky practically mirroring your moves.

"You are getting too cocky for someone who couldn't even tail me properly, not to mention that miserable tackle in DC" his hand rested on your lower back, guiding you to the cushions you had been sleeping on the past couple of nights "No answer huh? This thing really ran you dry" you stuck your tongue out as a response as Bucky laid you down and took his place beside you, chuckling.

"I love you, jerk" you wrapped yourself around him and fell into a dreamless slumber before you could even hear his answer.

"I love you too, doll" he didn't even dare to move as you fell asleep on his shoulder, for a moment, he actually felt grateful for what you did, especially because it meant he could be with you for a little longer.

------

The smell of fresh coffee woke you up a few hours later

"Well, this is oddly familiar" You walked out of the backroom to find Bucky setting coffee cups on the counter by the wall

"Except this time, you're the one who passed out last night, not me" his gaze met yours with a large smile "Though, I remember you were a much better drinker back then" He remembered.

"It worked! I knew it would!" You couldn't help but run into his arms, your words overflowing with relief "How are you feeling?"

"It's all coming back slowly I guess" Of course he didn't recall everything at once, but the more he talked about things, the clearer they became, so you sat there for a while, just sharing coffee and memories, forgetting about all the other problems for a couple of hours. Right now, it was very simple, just to lovers, finally laughing carelessly together again.

Almost everything you knew about Bucky's life had been recapped in your conversation, it was time to see if it really was to any use. The green glow penetrated his skin again for a few seconds, just so you both were more comfortable with continuing with the plan.

As Bucky had requested, you tied his feet together and his hands behind his back. Leaving him vulnerable enough for you to attack before he did, just in case.

"I could get used to this" You stood up, towering over him with a smirk, making his cheeks burn red

"I- *humpf*, let's just get this over with, please?" he tried avoiding your gaze for a second, a little too embarrassed by your comment

"Are you ready?" recollecting the haunting words in your mind, you waited for his last nod before saying the aloud "I love you, James, don't forget that"

But of course, it had to go wrong somehow. As soon as the words slipped out of your mouth, pain, anger and madness started taking over Bucky, you tried letting your powers flow to him, in a helpless attempt to make it go away, but to no avail.

As you stepped back to knock him out, you heard the rope snaping, just in time to dodge his blow.

Bucky was stronger than you, but much more predictable, you could tell his moves before he completed them, which thankfully gave you the advantage you needed in the occasion.

A few nearly deadly blows later, you managed to knock him out cold, or at least it seemed like it. Not willing to take that risk, you kneeled beside him to tie his hands again, only to be surprised with an unexpectedly cold grip on your neck, making it hard for you to breath.

The metal arm lifted you off the ground, Bucky's eyes were in a trance of fury, fixated on you while he pinned you up against the wall, and pulled his other arm back, ready to smash your skull right then and there.

The surroundings began to blur, you managed to lift your hand up to his chest and a barely visible wave floated to him, along with a faint whisper of his name before his fist got any closer to you. The last thing you saw was the horror take over his eyes as your whole body gave in, along with a loud thump just inches from your face.

#############

Thanks for reading!

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thisonesforfanfic · 4 years

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Light in the Dark (9/?)

Bucky x Reader

A/N: THIS ONE MIGHT BE +18, please be aware if you shouldn’t/ don’t want to read this sort of thing

Word count: 2.3k

Summary: After following Bucky across the ocean, he ends up confronting you and, as you fear you have been followed, you try to find somewhere safe to talk to him about what happened to you.

The tears were rolling down your face as Bucky held you in place keeping you from looking at him. His touch you lunged for so long was yours, not quite how you expected it, but it was still James, somewhere in there, was the love of your life

"I said What are you doing here?" His hand slowly moved away from your lips, waiting for your response.

You were hesitant. Every single word about to leave your mouth had to be calculated. How much did he remember? Did he even recognize you from before, or just from Hydra? Was he willing to kill you to stay incognito?

"Buck-" You stopped yourself as you felt his grip tighten "Let me see you, please. I won't try anything"

"How do I know it?"

"If I wanted to do something, I wouldn't have let you leave the museum in the first place" He was hesitant to let you lose "I could have had that place locked down as soon as you stepped in James. I haven't gone through all of this to simply turn you in, I only want to help you"

"You can't" he mumbled under his breath as he let you go

As soon as you were loose, you wrapped your arms around him. Even though it was not reciprocated, the hug made you feel like home, something you hadn't experienced fully ever since the morning you said goodbye to him and Steve on the train platform, all those years ago. Bucky's scent filled you in with hope, it made everything a little lighter.

However, after the sweet reminder of how everything once was, the lack of his arms around you, his stiff posture and his angry look pulled you back into the very real and slightly dangerous situation. You took a few steps back, keeping a safe distance between you.

"I am so sorry James" your eyes were filled with tears, as you stared into his blue ones

"You still haven't answered my question Y/N" He was dead serious, but you couldn't hold back the hope and confusion your name on his lips brought.

"I just... wait, how- What do you remember?" you took a step closer but Bucky kept his distance "The exposition mentioned the bar, but my name was never there" his expression was unreadable, glancing down to ground and you tried to find the answer to his question "I... I'd lost you once before, I wasn't going to lose you again"

A comforting silence followed.

Maybe somehow, he knows

About a minute passed, and you didn't hear any response, your eyes jumped up, afraid Bucky had taken advantage and ran, but he was still there. A little less intimidating and much more confused. You clenched your necklace, keeping yourself from running into his arms, and probably being rejected.

"Why?" his hiss hit you like a bullet. The tone was not curious, but threatening, scary. Bucky was angry at you for following him, and you hadn't really thought through the very real possibility of him trying to eliminate you then and there.

"Because I love you, James" He turned away and started walking as soon as the words left your mouth "And I will continue to follow you, I won't let you be alone" you ran to him, leaving just a few inches between you.

"STOP" Still looking forward, Bucky let his voice crack "You are here because of me"

"That doesn't even make any s-" you placed your hand delicately on his shoulder, in the hopes he would turn and face you.

"I've led them to you once, I'm not letting Hydra hurt you again"

"I don't give a shit Barnes, I'm not leaving your side again, I-"

A loud thump nearby interrupted you, putting both on high alert

Shit, was I followed?

This whole time, you were so focused on Bucky, you didn't really remember if you took all the precautions yourself

"Let's get out of here" he whispered, and you nodded, following him into the shadows and slowly out of the docks

---

A few miles later, you managed to sneak into an old building complex, the apartment you got into was nearly empty, a sofa and a broken dinner table were the only things around you. The amount of dust everywhere made it pretty obvious no one had gone in or out in a while, so you could let your guard down, for a few minutes at least. Both of you sat on a couple of wooden boxes the floor, a few feet apart from eachother, and a sharp silence surrounded the atmosphere as Bucky tried to find the words to say, the break of dawn was slowly lightning up the room and you couldn't keep your eyes off him.

How didn't I notice? I took care of so many of his wounds. You felt stupid for not recognizing him, for actually believing what Hydra had fed you and never really trying to find out more about Bucky's fate.

"I'm sorry" you broke the silence. His eyes met yours, confused, your apology seemed pretty out of place "I should have paid more attention, I was just... afraid- of losing you"

Bucky let out a deep, painful breath, looking down at his feet while scratching the back of his neck

"They got to you because of me." you could feel the guilt and pain in his voice "They tortured you because I wasn't strong enough to keep your name to myself"

"What do you mean?" the words of curiosity came out harsher than intended, you moved closer to him, softly placing you hand on his knee. Bucky avoided looking back at you, his eyes glued to the floor, recollecting his blurry memories.

"When they started everything... All I could remember was names. Steve and Y/N. I would carve or write them down every chance I could, I didn't want to forget. Hydra must have tracked you down after seeing your name next to Steve's, then they got to you, it's my fault they tortured you."

He made a long pause; you wouldn't dare make any sounds. You would never blame Bucky for all that bullshit, he was just as much a victim of circumstances as you were.

"I don't want you to get hurt again, I have to stay away, forget you... and you, me" his eyes finally met yours, filled with hurt. He moved his legs, trying to get rid of your hand, but you held it in place, slightly pressing it.

"That logic is just stupid" Your words shot out before you could stop them, surprising yourself a little. It made Bucky quite nervous, and you could see some anger building up by the tension on his shoulders "I mean.... I won't forget you, I- you... you'll only truly hurt me if you leave like this"

"Oh yeah? And what if someone said those words to us? One just kills the other? Don't you think that's a little more painful than being able to live your whole life?" The pain was cracking through his angry words

"I can help you" You cried, the image of him breaking was tearing your heart into a million pieces

"Really? I reckon you have the ability to turn back time?" he laughed sarcastically

"I heal, James" his eyebrows arched along with a chuckle, still not taking you seriously "I healed myself"

"I won't take that risk" he got up to leave but you held his hand, trying to delay the departure "I won't let myself stay and hurt you Y/N, I'm a ticking time bomb, and God knows what's coming after me"

"Give me a chance, James" you stood up and place yourself in between him and the door "Let me at least help you remember" Your hands rested on his chest and the space between you grew thinner and thinner as you leaned in. The only sound in the room was your heartbeat, echoing in your head as you approached Bucky, and you could see every muscle in him tense as you did so. It wasn't stopping you anymore, your moves were slow, and even though Bucky was hesitant, he didn't push you away. "I'm not letting you go again" you whispered as you softly kissed him.

It was as if time turned back when your lips touched his. You were suddenly at the bar, after the first date you had with him, after those three haunting words had been spoken and you caught him off guard with a kiss. And just as it did back then, it took only a second for Bucky to give in. Even though it was still blurry to him, that felt right: your arms loosely wrapped around his neck, just enough to keep him in place, your sweet lips on his, the taste was something so familiar to him and Bucky quickly took control of you.

His metal arm held you tight to him by the waist, and grabbed the back your head with his other hand, your hair getting tangled around his fingers as the kiss grew more intimate and hotter. His tongue explored your neck while you hopelessly tried to catch your breath, your hands made their way to his jeans, ready to set free the bulk you were pressed against. Bucky almost simultaneously took his jacket off and pulled his shirt over his head, then helping you out of your clothes, allowing you to be as close as possible. He lifted you up to place you on top of his clothes on the floor, and you allowed him to kiss every inch of your skin as soft moans left your lips

"God, I missed you, doll" his breathy voice, along with his fingers touching you, was sending shivers down your spine

"Quit teasing, Buck" your eyes were pure lust and he could tell. Bucky's lips were on yours again, but more vicious this time, as he placed himself in you, you moaned loudly as his tongue controlled yours. Barely giving you any time to get used to him, Bucky started thrusting, hard and steady, neither of you could keep quiet, the heavy breathing was mixed with groans, cursing and various moans. It was all too animalistic and quick, the coil in your stomach built way too fast "Fuck, I'm gonna-"

"Let go" You melted at his words, your vision got blurry and the only thing you could feel were Bucky's thrusts getting uneven as he reached his peak, then his body collapsed on top of you after the orgasm.

For a few minutes, neither of you moved, afraid it was all just a dream, and the one in front of you would disappear at the slightest movement. Bucky slowly put himself beside you, admiring your gaze as you let your finger trace softly trace his face

"I missed you, Bucky" He smiled softly at you. It was the first time you fully recognized him, his eyes were finally playful and free of confusion, even if it didn't last long, you knew he was still in there, you could still get your Bucky back.

"I missed you too Y/N" his smiled then faded as he got up, looking around for his jeans. You stood up as well, and watched him, finally noticing all of his scars together. Although you had helped some of them heal, you had never truly payed attention to how many he actually had, especially the one where metal met skin, it was harsh, you couldn't even imagine the pain he had felt.

"I'm sorry" you hugged Bucky as he tried to pull his pants up "I should've known Y/N... I should've helped you out before-" he pulled away, to look at you.

"We shouldn't do this, James" you rolled up the sleeves of his shirt you’d put on "We can't blame ourselves for what those people did to us. All we can do is grow from it"

He kept his distance "I won't allow myself to hurt you even more, Y/N" you couldn't hide the disappointment, it was written all over your face.

"Oh, for fuck's sake" You took off his shirt, tossing it to the side. All your scars, the times you were shot, cut and tortured, were there for him to see "Look at me! Take a good look at all of this, James" Bucky reluctantly stared at your naked body, his frown growing as his eyes travelled from one scar to the next "They hurt me enough. I won't let you do the same" You stood there quiet for a minute, the only thing touching your bare skin was your necklace, taking it in your hands, you continued

"This is the only reason why I kept healing. My mom, my dad, Y/B/N..Steve, You! The day you and Steve told me about his passing, you two became my family. I couldn't just let the memory of you die! I had to get out, for all of you!" The disappointment in you was turning into anger, and your eyes were filling with tears as you reached out to get your jacket and cover up. You let your head down so he couldn't see the pain in your eyes, but it was useless, your voice was already cracking "Don't do this Bucky, please don't give up on me just like that"

And as if he could see your legs were about to give in, Bucky held you in his arms, as close as he possibly could

"I won't, doll, sorry.... I didn't mean to" your head was buried on his chest as he caressed your head "I'm just- afraid to do more bad than good"

"Promise me- you'll at least let me try to help" he nodded as you looked up, pulling him in for a soft kiss, flooded by the salty taste of your tears.

#############

Thanks for reading!

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thisonesforfanfic · 4 years

Text

To anyone who enjoys reading what I write...

Hey, I have been working on this never ending fic for a while now (light in the dark), and I know I might take some time to post the following parts.... I’ve been working on my thesis for college and I haven’t been able to find enough time to work on the chapters as much as I want to, and since I’m a bit of a perfectionist (not that any of my writing is good anyway), I don’t really want to post it before reviewing and editing a couple of times.... Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for reading and for being patient!

Lots of love to all of you, and stay safe out there :)

0 notes

thisonesforfanfic · 4 years

Text

Light in the Dark (8/?)

Bucky x Reader

A/N: So, this is more of a filler chapter, that’s why it’s a little shorter. Also, I don’t know if I have to put any warnings, let me know if you think they are necessary

Summary: After the fall of Hydra and SHIELD, you tried keeping a low profile in Washington while waiting for Bucky to show up, and when he does, you can’t help but follow him close behind

Word count: 1.2 K

Twelve days

That's how much time you had spent lurking in the shadows of the Smithsonian, waiting for Bucky to show up at Captain America's exposition. You were starting to lose hope, maybe he was much more lost than you had thought, maybe he wouldn't show up as you expected, maybe you had lost him forever this time.

At about closing time on the thirteenth day, you had lost pretty much all hope when a man on a baseball cap caught your eye

Is it?

You doubted your sight for a minute, stepping back into the shadows, trying not to draw any attention to yourself, thankfully the exposition was quite dark in on itself. Tears filled your eyes as the man stopped in front of a glass wall with Bucky's picture. He was right there, just a couple of steps separating you and the love your life. You felt every muscle in your body tense up, lunging to run up and hug him, to feel his kisses again, but the only way to help him, was to let him find a piece of himself first.

He had never seen all the things you smuggled out when you started your journey to healing. Back then, you managed to sneak into Hydra's "personal" storage, where all things related to people of interest were kept, in case it was needed for studying or control enhancement.

All your things were there, they raided your apartment in search of documents, pictures, family trinkets, apparently, they believed it would be harder to control you after giving you healing powers. On one of your exploring nights, you even found some of Bucky's stuff, and it had only confirmed to you, back then, that they had gotten to him. Since that day, you wore his dog tag, the ring he had given you and your mom's necklace underneath your suit, never taking it off.

Watching his frowning face read all about himself, you clenched the necklace in your hand

I'm here, love. I will help you

You let your mind drift into memories as you watched and waited for Bucky to move.

The dance floor was nearly empty, you and Bucky were still swaying even though the music had ended a while ago. His hands were wrapped around your waist, and yours rested on his chest, and those piercing blue eyes staring into your Y/E/C ones.

"Can I ask you a question?" The question took Bucky away from his trance, a little worried due to the caution in your voice

"Anything, doll" resting a soft kiss on your forehead before you could ask

"Are you sure you want this?" you looked down at your hands, afraid of his gaze and answer "I mean, I love you, and these have been some of the bests days in my entire life, but-" you paused, not wanting your voice to crack "but you could have anyone, look at you! Everywhere we go, there is always a girl looking you up and down, you are one of the nicest people I know. Why would you-"

"Y/N, stop" Bucky halted the slow dance and took your hands on his "It's true, I never took you for the insecure type. This is not the confident, quick witted and funny girl I fell in love with...." his pause sent a shiver down your spine, clearly expecting your fairytale to end "but I still love every inch of you, doll" he chuckled as you let out a breath of relief, but talking about it just made all your insecurities want to jump out of your mouth

"You say that now, but will you still want me when I'm angry? When I disappoint you in some way, and make you mad? And what if I push you a-" his soft lips took control of yours, and you gave in to his passionate kiss

"Y/N, you can say whatever you want, you are not getting rid of me that easily" pulling away, his words made your face light up "No matter who looks at me on the street, or at you for that matter, I am yours as you are mine, no one can take that from us. Alright?"

You nodded

"Now, let's get you home" Bucky stepped away and offered his arm out, you wrapped yours around his and walked off into the night "You do know I will have to tell Steve about how sweet you look when you are jealous and insecure"

"Do that and not only will you be a former playboy, but a former breather" you squeezed your eyes, trying to look more threatening, which only made him laugh even more

"There she is, I missed you" he held your waist and spun you around on the sidewalk, your sweet laugh making his smile widen from ear to ear "I love you Y/N"

"I love you too, jerk"

You followed Bucky out of the museum, he had been going in circles, trying to lose any trackers that could be following him. Thankfully, you knew every technique he was using by heart, and the twilight helped you remain unseen. He was worried, scared for his life, not even really knowing where to go next, and it was killing you.

Your heart was pounding as you got on the New York train after he did. If he was Brooklyn bound, you knew he wouldn't recognize anything, but you could maybe get things in your old apartment.

Hydra had sent you to burn any trace of your existence down a couple years back, but thankfully your powers had healed you enough by then, and you managed to hide everything you recovered from their storage on a secret compartment behind the bar, that, for some reason, remained abandoned. Hopefully Bucky would go there, maybe he could remember you, all the nights you spent with him and Steve there, and you would have time to take everything before he moved again.

After three long hours, you got to the city, and Bucky did just as you expected. The night was dark, so you could move a little faster without him noticing. Quickly taking your things while he stood in front of the beaten down building, you ran back to see the front of the bar, only to find Bucky with a painfully familiar expression on his face. The same hurtful eyes he had on the morning he and Steve told you about your brother's passing, you could barely contain the tears. The fact that you had to stay silent to help him was the only thing keeping you from falling apart.

After a couple of hours of lurking around, Bucky jumped onto a cargo ship, and you waited for its final whistle before jumping in as well, afraid Bucky would change his mind. Now, he couldn't really run too far, so you decided to just find a way to sneak into the crew's kitchen and then, a hiding spot.

-----

A couple of days later, you found yourself on a Spanish port. You stood on a far end of the docks, watching every movement in and out of the ship. No sign of him, maybe he was still inside, or he escaped before you took your place, or even worse, maybe you had lost Bucky forever this time.

Maybe I shouldn't have stayed hidden, maybe I could have talked to him bef-

A cold grip pulled you away from your thoughts. The metal hand kept your mouth shut, hurting your jaw, and a familiar yet threatening voice brought tears to your eyes.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

#############

Thanks for reading!

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thisonesforfanfic · 4 years

Text

Light in the Dark (7/?)

Bucky x Reader

A/N: I do not know if I should put any warnings, please let me know if you think any are needed

Summary: After being captured by Hydra, you were made into an assassin, but the powers they gave you were their control’s demise. You were planning to make an escape when your past came back to life

Word Count: 2.3k

Torture. Shock. Blood, everywhere.

Simply chaotic

In the same way, everything was a blur in your mind, you could barely remember what seemed to have been a couple of months. However, things were slowly starting to come back to you.

Those strange men that took you had then injected you with a burning substance, as if every inch of your body was catching on fire, you learned how to fight like an expert, pretty much anything could be a weapon on your hands, anyone who got close was soon knocked out.

You were still taking care of people as some sort of nurse, but bandages were now useless on small injures, you could heal yourself or anyone really, just by concentrating on it, feeling nothing but a sting. Bigger ones would usually make you feel weak, but you could usually handle them. A sheer green light would surround you when you used the inexplicable ability.

You noticed the words they used, how they made no sense, how an insane rage took over you when you heard them, as if you were a string puppet. The things you had done were also coming back to you, and they were horrifying, it was all mind control, and it made you a healer and an assassin for Hydra, the same organization that your brother had died trying to destroy, the same people who probably killed Bucky, and maybe even Steve.

Quickly realizing what it all meant, you tried healing yourself, over and over, until the words were meaningless. The agents were furious, and once they found out your mind was no longer controlled, their way of keeping you in line was brutal. Whenever you refused to do a mission, they'd shoot you in the leg, make you heal yourself, patch whatever was left of the injury and go into the mission to heal their wounded. After they started doing this, you mostly cooperated, if attacking anyone wasn't required. Once they gave up using you as a weapon, being solely a healer to them, you realized that the more you obeyed, the more liberty you had while on the mission, that is, no more rifles to your head.

It was harder and harder each time to keep saving them though, they were after all responsible for the death of the most important people in your life. On top of it, you realized you weren't just going to sleep, everything around you was evolving too fast, you were put on some sort of hibernation. That's when you decided you'd leave, next time they used you on a disaster, you'd use the chaos to your favor and escape the organization.

It didn't take long for that day to come, you were set on an alley in Washington D.C. when all hell broke loose, you had to pretend to try healing at least some of them before making a run for it. After a while, there were just too many bodies, and a couple of explosions had gone off, enough for you to pretend as if you were in one of them. Throwing you transmitter away, you started to run towards the buildings, away from the streets, but a familiar voice made you freeze on the spot

"Sam? Are you alright? Nat, copy!"

There's just no way

"Steve?" You screamed, the man turned to you with his guard up, since you still had your mask on "Steve!!! You're alive!" You uncovered your face and rushed to his side

"Y/N?? Wh- How are you here??"

A new explosion pushed you to the curb, and as the smoke settled, the menacing figure of Hydra's biggest assassin was walking towards Steve

He had seen that machine in action before, he was pretty much unstoppable. His metal arm was one of the most dangerous things you had ever seen in action, and also on a hospital bed, whenever you had to heal him, that thing was always trouble. The mask made him look like even less of a man, just pure danger, you had never seen him without it

"Get back Y/N"

"I've got this, I've seen him fight" before he could say another word you were gone, sprinting behind cars to take him down from the back

The surprise attack provided Steve with the distraction he needed. Your grip on the man's neck lasted for a while, but he soon threw you over a car like a piece of paper. It was just long enough for Steve to hit him on the face with his shield, causing the mask to fall to the floor. Shock and confusion took over you as you saw Bucky's marble eyes overflowing with anger

What the fuck?

"Bucky?" Steve was just as confused as you were

"BUCKY!" you screamed your lungs out in pain, but all you got was the sight of him charging at you in fury

"Who the hell is Bucky? Let's go healer" Before he could get any closer, someone that you assumed was on Steve's team landed on his head, making Bucky fall to the floor

A sudden blast made your senses numb, and even though you couldn't see straight, you tried walking in the direction of where Bucky was just standing, but a red hair agent knocked you down before getting far

"And where do you think you are going?" she had her arm out, pointing some sort of electric bracelet to your face "I got the healer"

"He is alive, Bucky is- They are.... STEVE!" You couldn't care less about the threatening woman over you at that moment, your mind was racing, your heart nearly escaping through your mouth

Is this even happening? How?

"You know this one?" her grip on you was still firm as she talked into her transmitter, but after the response she received, the woman got up and offered you a helping hand to stand "I'm Nat"

"Y/N" you stood up, looking around for any signs of your boys. Though Bucky was nowhere to be found, Steve walking towards you made your eyes fill with tears, way too many feelings surfacing at once, as you buried yourself on his embrace "Am I dreaming?"

"I hope we are not" Steve cupped your face on his hands to take a good look at you "Are you okay? How are you even here?"

"Uhm, guys" a man landed right next to you with silver wings clipped on his back "I feel like we should get somewhere safe before this whole... catching up thing" Screaming tires could be heard all around, but the four managed to escape through the sewer before being surrounded.

A long run later, you reached a safehouse, and all that you had seen was finally being digested. You and Bucky had been working side by side this whole time, Steve was right there with you, nothing made sense, but it was all there.

While taking care of some scratches on Sam's arm, you told them all that you remembered. The night they captured you, how they trained you to be deadly and still be able to heal them, how you were trying to get out, but mostly how frustrated you were you hadn't recognized Bucky before.

"I took care of him multiple times, and I had no clue! When they went to the bar... They said he wasn't in one piece when they got to him and I assumed they killed both of you" your eyes were locked on Steve's, his baby blues just as conflicted as your Y/E/C ones. "I have to save him"

"Y/N, you need to rest" Steve was right, it had been quite the day, but the thought of Bucky being tortured as you were was making you sick "We have to prepare, we can't just go find him wherever he is"

"I know what he's going through! The mind control thing is fucking unbearable!" You turned around to grab some gear and leave muttering "I can't let it keep happening Steve", but his grip on your arm held you in place "Let me go! I don't want him to suffer" you shook your arm up and down unsuccessfully

"And you think I want that?" His words were loud and cold, echoing in your head. You realized how selfish you were at that moment, Bucky was his best friend their whole life "I wish I could have him here right now, but if he's being used as a weapon against us, we can't just go on and hug him" his tone was dead, but knew he was feeling the same pain you were, if not a worse one

"I didn't mean to.." you looked down at your feet, shaking your head for not remembering how important their relationship used to be "Forgive me, Steve"

"I don't want you to apologize, Y/N" his grip turned into a soft stroke on your arms "I want us to be prepared, okay?" You nodded

"We'll bring him home"

---

"Who were they?"

Strapped on a chair, he talked to the commanders who had sent him on that mission. His mind was fuzzy, the way the pair had looked at him, how they called him Bucky.

"You've been hunting him down for a while now, that man always ends up escaping, we should definitely not put you up against him, you're no match" Their try to make Bucky associate Steve as an enemy was not very successful, he could recognize the face of the man, he just didn't know how. "She's a traitor, she used to go on missions with you when medical assistance was needed."

That can't be all

"I knew them" the conflict in him was evident, and it made commander grind his teeth

"Wipe him off, start again"

------------

"We need you on standby if anyone is hurt! Why do you have to be so stubborn?" The brunette agent was absolutely mad at you "Is it so hard for you to understand this is a suicide mission? Do you want all of us to fucking die without any support on the outside? Plus, you don't know anything about the building, and we only have one person that can fly from one hover to the other, he can't extract two of you at the same time if it all goes wrong"

"I'm not just gonna stand around while you save the word! And we all know he's gonna show up, I won't let him slide again" Your fists were firmly closed and your jaw was clenched as Agent Maria's face stood inches from yours, both of you would clearly already be on top of each other if Steve hadn't had his hands on your shoulders, holding you in place

"Maria has a point Y/N" you turned to Steve with fiery eyes, ready to call him out "Although I also think we could use more strength on the inside, I can't risk losing you to them now, Hydra is pissed for you being here, and they won't let you go easily" you frowned, he was right, you had a huge target on your back right now, and God knows what they would do now if they got you

"And where should I stay?" your voice was low and angry, not wanting to accept your surrender

The Shield building was enormous, you couldn't cover the whole perimeter, specially on foot, and trying to stay hidden

"Just about anywhere on the river bank" Natasha was creeping you out as she turned on a weird tech mask "It's full of trees and you can hide a motorbike easily since there are no hiking trails around it"

Without your protests, the conversation ends as everyone makes their way to their positions, you borrow Nat's bike and drive off to the closest hidden spot you can find.

It works. It all kind of goes to shit in the process, but they manage to take down the corrupted director, and shoot down the aircrafts. You heard Steve's voice on your ear, saying there was no time for him to get out before it all exploding, so you were flying through the trees to get as close to where it would crash as possible. You never had to save someone from drowning, but saving Steve was really the only option at the moment.

Bucky must be there too. Just the thought of them both crashing down was making your heart pound, you had to make it.

I will save you, no matter what it takes

Getting closer to it, you saw Steve's body plunge into the river, abruptly stopping the bike and rushing to the water, you hesitated as Bucky's body perfectly dived right where Steve was, bringing him back to the surface and dragging his old friend to the river bank. It took all you had to stay out of sight, approaching him now could mean never seeing him again later, Hydra was in pieces, they didn't have a hold of him anymore, tracking him would be impossible.

Bucky heard ruffling after putting the familiar soldier down, squeezing his eyes to find whatever was there with him, but all the fighting and memories flowing through him made it pretty hard to concentrate.

After standing there for a moment, he slowly headed into the woods to disappear. You wanted to follow him so bad, but you had to check on Steve

"I have him" you whispered into the comm "I can't do much about water but I think I can stabilize him"

"We're almost there Y/N" Sam spoke back to you "go get him" his words froze in place for a second, quickly checking Steve again.

"If our plan to make him remember anything worked, I know where he will be" placing your hands on his wounds, a light green glow travelled to them, making your stomach ache as you tried to make it less painful for Steve

#############

Thanks for reading!

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thisonesforfanfic · 4 years

Text

Get to work - One Shot

Bucky x Reader

A/N: I do NOT know if I should put any warnings, please help me out if you think any is needed

Word count: 895

“Are you suuure you have to go?” You looked up at Bucky with a pout and glossy eyes, not wanting to be alone for the weekend “We haven’t even unpacked everything”

“Doll, I am so so sorry, but you know I can’t stay” his arms wrapped around your waist made it extremely hard for you to be mad at your boyfriend “Steve wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t necessary”

It had been about 5 hours since you to moved in together. The living room was filled with boxes, and nothing but a big cozy couch was placed.

“I know, it’s just... I wanted you to be here” you burried your head on his chest, embarassed of the tears you felt coming “I don’t wanna sleep on this empty apartment without you” your sniffs made Bucky pull away and wipe his thumbs on your cheeks

“Y/N, look at me” guiding your chin up, so your gaze met his “I will be back before you know it. In two days time I will be right by your side and I will put every single thing on its place, I’ll install as many shelves as you want, so you won’t move a finger” he pecked your lips softly “Okay?”

“Promise?” your eyes were closed as your forehead rested on his, paying attention to his touch.

“I promise I will do every piece of hard work there is to do here” you laughed, shaking your head

“No silly, do you promise to come back home quickly?” you traced his face, letting your fingers run over his beautiful features, his smile widened under your thumb

“You are beautiful, you know that?” he leaned in to kiss your parted lips, but you stopped his motion, waiting for an answer

“Promise me”

“I promise I will be home as soon as possible, doll” you smiled, biting your lower lip

“Alright, now I want that k-” Bucky has his lips on yours before you could even finish, his sudden touch made your heart skip a beat, your fingers had a mind of their own, traveling around his body. The kiss kept growing more passionate, more heated, you wrapped yourself around Bucky as he lifted you up, heading for the couch while nibling your neck, which led quiet moans.

He sat down, with you on his lap, leaning in again to claim your parted lips, and you gave him what he wanted, it lasted about as long as you felt him grow beneath you. Pulling away, you met the gaze of a confused Bucky looking up

“Now, if you really have to leave” you put your arms on your waist “I guess I’ll have to wait for you to get back in order to innagurate this apartment”

His brows furrowed as his eyes were barely open

“You are such a tease” his grin was accompanied by his hands, slowly reaching your waist “And you know how i deal with teases like that”

Bucky started tickling you, making your whole body shake, you tried slithering out of his grasp, but his arms kept your legs trapped around him. Your loud laugh and pleads made him so happy, his chuckles accompaning it. That innocent and cheering sound helped was soothing, it was all he needed to feel better whenever things weren’t going great, you were like a light for him on dark days.

Soon letting you go, Bucky pecked your lips

“Just know I would do this all day if I didn’t have to leave”

“As if I would let you” you teased him back while getting up

“I’ll see you in two days” he hugged you tight, soflty kissing you again “I love you Y/N”

“Yeah, but i love you more” you smiled and gave hima peck on the cheek “Now go, I don’t want any avengers bursting my new door open when you’re late”

--------

Bucky arrived at the apartment on sunday afternoon, eager to have you in his arms again that night, to finally spend the night with you there.

However, all his thoughts were blown away as he opened the door. All the boxes were long gone, the apartment had life, pictures of you, him your family and a couple of friends, the coffee table and TV stand perfectly built, and all the books perfectly organized by the window on a short shelf.

“Y/N?” His words were answered with quiet snores, Bucky made his way to the bedroom, where everything was also put in place, finding you sleeping soundly.

All the work you had done was visible: splaterred paint all over your arms, still wearing an old shirt you used whenever you had to get work done, your hair pulled back on a messy ponytail and of course the fact that you were on a deep sleep at 3pm.

He couldn’t help but smile at you, kicking his boots off and joining you in bed, his movement made your eye open slightly

“I can’t believe you did all this by yourself” Bucky stroked your face as you looked at him smiling

“I can’t believe you thought I was gonna sleep on the couch until you got back” You moved closer to him, resting you head on his shoulder “sleep with me?”

“Of course, love” His chuckle was followed by his hand lightly scratching your back for a while, until he gave in to his weariness by your side

########

Thanks for reading!

I wrote this one cause I’ve taken this quarantine as an opportunity to get stuff done at home, BUT my boyfriend works in a hospital and I won’t be seeing him in a while, so I feel needy and I want to sleep on his chest :(

171 notes · View notes

thisonesforfanfic · 4 years

Text

Light in the Dark (6/?)

Bucky x Reader

A/N: Still, no idea if I should put any warnings, if needed let me know. Also Language

Ps: I’ve been thinking about how to go forward with the next part of the story (I have main point figured out, but not really sure how to get there) so it might take me a while to post part 7 and on :/

Summary: You have a lot of fun with the boys before they have to go back to war again, Bucky gets very drunk the night before leaving, making Steve angry.

Word Count: 2.3K

The past couple of days had been like a dream, Bucky would spend most of his time by your side, holding and kissing you at every chance he had, making you blush whenever you were in public. At night, he and Steve would sit on a booth together talking and drinking while you tended the tables at the bar, you'd even gone dancing when you closed early on a slow night, it was the most fun you all had had in a while: the music, Bucky teaching you how to dance properly, Steve giving you funny looks when you toasted with him every couple of minutes .It all felt too good to be true

And it actually was. Before you knew it, they were about to leave again, and you found yourself once more closing early so you three could drink the night away one last time before the train departed. You sat on the same booth the boys now called 'theirs', Bucky's arm wrapped around your waist, and Steve sat in front of you. Talking like old friends, as if you knew them your whole life.

"You know Y/N, when you said your brother could drink this place dry, I never thought it ran in the family" Steve was quite impressed with how much you kept pouring into your glass and down your throat. He admitted he even felt a little dizzy after atempting to keep up with it

"Running a place like this makes you evolve some unexpected talents" you tried to keep a serious face, but a hiccup escaped, making you laugh at your own drunk self, Steve chuckled as well, shaking his head while looking at the drunk couple

"I'd like to propose one last toast" Bucky raised his glass over the table, he was definetly the most affected by the booze, he felt challenged to keep up as well, now starting to drag his words as he spoke "To Y/N, the greayest drinker without super serum in the world!" he gave you a wet kiss on the neck while waiting for you and Steve to raise your glasses

"And I think someone else has officially reached his drinking limits" Steve scoffed, letting his glass touch Bucky's

"To you boys! I don't think I would be as well as I am now if it weren't for you!" your glass finally collided with theirs

"To us!" you said, as harmonized as three different stages of drunks could.

After that, you continued to talk to Steve about his love life, he had told you all that had happened with Peggy, that other lady that kissed him in front of her, and you tried to figure out how to give some advice on the situation. Bucky was mostly quiet, lost on his on head, either staring at you or the glass of water you gave him.

"Honestly, I don't think I can help much on the reencounter, but if I-"

"Can I ask you something doll?" Bucky cut you off, not really waiting for your answer he continued "You were one of the greatest nurses on the field" Steve's fists were already clenched on the table, before his friend could even finish "Why won't you go back?"

"That's it! I'm taking you home, punk" Steve jumped up and pulled Bucky out of his seat "I am so sorry doll, I shouldn't have let him him this much"

"Steve... It's okay" Your voice was soft, you got up touched his shoulder reassuringly "sit him back down"

He put Bucky on a chair, and you lowered yourself so your face was in front of his, holing your hands on his, he started mumbling an apology repeatedly, leaning in closer to you each time.

"I'm ...s- sorry, I didn't mean to make y- you mad. Ple- ..ase forgive me Y/N" his eyes were watering

"Bucky, listen to me" you gave him a couple of seconds to quiet down "You know this is hard for me, right?" he nodded "I would love to be able to be with you every night, know you are safe, and help you whenever you need. But I won't be able to go back without thinking I could have done something, I could have saved Y/B/N's life if only you brought him to the camp, I could have at least said goodbye" you sniffed away the tears, trying not to make Bucky feel even more regret "Now, let's get you upstairs and into a bath, that might help you sober up a bit. Is that alright?"

"Are you sure Y/N? I can take him home" Steve was aprehensive about leaving him with you "God knows what else may come out of this Jerk's mouth"

"Just help me get him up there" You went to clean up the table you sat on before "And also, you are always welcome to stay over, you know that Steve" you sent him a friendly smile "I do live closer to the station, you know"

It didn't take much convincing for him to stay, Steve carried Bucky upstairs, and got him in the shower, so you wouldn't have to deal with the whiny drunk not wanting to get wet. You brewed some tea for you and the blond, since it was obvious Bucky would refuse to take any. He fell asleep on your bed, before any of you could say anything. Steve clenched his fists again, about to toss his friend across the apartment into the couch, but you stopped him.

"I have slept on this couch a thousand times, don't worry about it" He tried to argue but it was clearly too small for his super serum body. "do me a favor and let me be the stubborn one here"

"I'll allow that, simply because it's your house, and that one will hear it tomorrow" he pointed to your room.

Steve stayied with you a little longer, trying to distract you from the toxic thoughts Bucky's words had triggered, until you showed signs sleepines.

"Goodnight doll" he kissed you on the forehead "Thanks for everything. Really"

"I know both of you would take care of me if it came to it, seriously, it's okay. Goodnight"

The smell of freshly brewed coffee woke you up, getting up and walking into the kitchen, you were surprised by the sight of Bucky preparing breakfast.

"I honestly thought we would have trouble getting you out of bed" You leaned in against the doorway, with a grin on your lips

His eyes were avoiding your glance, he felt extremely embarassed for what he said to you at the bar, you noticed his uneasiness as he found the words to apologise.

"Y/N, I am so terribly sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Bucky, I know. I honestly wish I had the strenght to go with you" you hugged him from behind, making him relax a little " I just can't pull myself together to do so right now, and hopefully, it will all be over before I can even think about that"

"Doll, I can't believe I acctually asked you that" his voice was deep, full of pain and regret "Will you ever be able to forgive me?" he turned to face you, your eyes were understanding, and your smile reassured him

"I already have, silly" you pecked his lips softly, then felt his arms hold you close, his embrace was pure love and relief, you didn't dare to move

"She might, but I still think you were a jerk, as usual" Steve's words made you chuckle on Bucky's chest, his grip loosened so you could both look at the man standing beside you. "I swear, if it wasn't for her, I would've dragged you by the foot back home yesterday"

"Oh come on Steve, he just drinks like a eighteen-year-old" you mocked "He'll learn how to drink eventually" Bucky stuck his tongue out for you as you giggled and Steve shook his head, a hint of a smile creeping on his lips.

After you got out of the shower, getting ready to leave, you realized you couldn't find your mom's necklace, and it made you freak out. You hardly ever took it off, and you hadn't really done anything that could have made the chain break.

"Don't worry doll, I'm sure you will find it" Steve said, while putting the couch back in place "It probably fell of on the bar, we can look there before we leave" You glanced at the clock on the wall, letting out a loud sigh

"No, you will be late if we don't leave now, I'll check as soon as I get back" you frowned to yourself most of the way up to the station

"Why is this so hard?" your eyes were filled with tears as you walked in. Bucky's arms pulled you in "I hate having to say goodbye"

"Doll, we will be back soon, I promise" he wiped your face with his thumbs "This war is ending and we are going to be here in no time" you pulled away nodding

"Bucky's right" Steve hugged you "we are not letting our special girl down"

"You better" hugging him tighter "you are like family to me now" you gave Steve a peck on the cheek before turning back to Bucky

"What do you have on your hands?" He had them shut together in front of his torso. You sent an inquisitive look his way.

"Please don't be mad... I just wanted to ask you something" his hands, still closed, reached out to you "What I mean is, I- ... want you to wear this"

There was the necklace, you puffed your chest in anger, before realizing there was another pendant added to it, a thin silver ring. Your jaw then dropped, you didn't really know how to react.

"When I get back, I want to wear one with you" his cheeks were bright red, you could hear Steve's sheer laugh behind you

"Is this your way of proposing James?" he simply nodded as you grabbed the necklace "So you saw me freaking out about this and had it in your hands?" his nod was a little more hesitant the second time around, as you paused for a minute before continuing "Well, I guess this would be a good reward..."

"Is that your way of saying 'yes'?" he put his hands on your waist, waiting for a response

"You should thank me for not slapping you right now" letting your lips meet his "And yeah.... this.... Is me.... Saying... Yes" you said in between kisses

The whistle blew while you were still on his arms, not wanting to let go.

"Please come home safe boys" you finally said in mixed tears of pain and happiness "I'll miss you too much"

"We will, doll" you gave Steve one more hug, and another passionate kiss on the love of your life.

The train departed soon after, and you stood there for a few minutes, holding the new pendant in your hands, not really knowing wether to cry or to smile.

The nights at the bar were definetly dull without them there, you'd tend to the tables without their laugh in the backgroud, and it made you sigh pretty often while galncing at their booth. It took you a couple of days to notice an odd pair of men that would come in almost every night, they were fancy suits, pretty uncommon outside of the island of Manhattan, and hardly talked. You didn't really give it much attention though,

Probably just some soldiers who got back recently. It wasn't unsual for them to come back traumatized, and you had the bartender there if you needed assistance at any time.

One slow night however, you sent him home early since there were no costumers coming in, and you were left alone while cleaning up. You thought you had locked the door after he left, but the sound of it didn't really draw your eyes to the entrance

"I'm sorry, we are already closed for the evening"

"Oh that is a shame Miss Y/L/N" The voice sent shivers down your spine, you turned to face the stranger.

It was the same pale man that came in with another one wearing those expensive clothes, you thought about your escape route, where the nearest possible weapon sitted behind the counter, the knife you had under your skirt. He knew your name, he wasn't in there for drinks.

"What do you want?" you slowly made your way closer to the back door, but freezed as you felt a strong grip on your shoulders

"We just want to talk to you miss Y/L/N, you have quite a reputation as a healer"

Well, fuck

"I don't do it anymore, you can find someone else" you felt the grip on you slowly loosen, you decided to wait until you were sure you could knock him out and get to the door

"Oh, we had someone else" he stepped closer with a grin on his face "But Mr. Barnes wasn't really in one piece" the two men laughed and you took it as your chance. Hitting the man holding you in the stomach with both elbows made him release you, quickly grabbin your pocketknife and running it into the other man's shoulder, then heading for the back door, bursting it open into the dark alley way

The words they had said made no sense, but you couldn't stop running, you had to hide, you had to stay safe

What do they mean? tears were quietly running down your face he can't be, they are just trying to get to be.... Could it be?

"Let's stop running Y/N" the voice was ahead of you, and heavy footsteps were catching up to you. Before being able to take a turn, you heard a loud thump and fell to the ground

"That's better, shall we go?"

The terrifing laugh was the last thing you heard, before it all went black

########

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thisonesforfanfic · 4 years

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Light in the Dark (5/?)

Bucky x Reader

A/N: Still not sure if I have to put any warnings, please tell me if you think any are needed :)

Summary: The boys come back from the war for a while, and Bucky takes you on a date

Word Count: 2.3 k

You were eager to see them again. Steve and Bucky had been gone for a while now, and you missed them like crazy. Yeah, sure, it's not like you knew them your whole life, but they had been so good to you ever since the moment you met them, ever since their last visit, you'd get at least a telegram or letter a week from them, always checking on you or secretly letting you know if they weren't going to be able to send anything for a while. And at those moments, your heart ached, though you tried to send them cheerful and happy letters back, everytime.

You could feel your heart pounding on your throat as the train arrived at the station, your glance running through every single window, looking for a sign of the men's blue eyes.

"Y/N!" Your eyes filled with tears of joy as you saw Bucky and Steve rushing towards you

"Thank God!" you let out with relief, jumping into Bucky's open arms. He spins you around in joy, finally listening to your sweet laugh again

"I missed you so much doll" he put you down and hugged you tight, burrying his face on your shoulder, breathing in your scent

"Me too, Bucky" you pulled away to embrace Steve "And you too Steve!" your cheeks were hurting as you couldn't stop smiling from ear to ear "I actually can't believe my eyes right now"

"Well, you should" Steve chuckled "Because someone couldn't shut up about that reward you promised for the whole trip, right Buck?"

"Shut up, punk" You let go of Steve to see the red taking over Bucky's cheeks, letting a loud laugh escape through the smile

"No, no, please, tell me about the supposedly heroic act!" you were practically skipping in place with your hands joined together, jokingly pleading to Steve

"Best thing I can remember is him not hitting on any nurses" Bucky sent him a bothered look

"Punk" He let out under his breath, then turned to you "Doesn't 'going to war' count in on itself?"

"You remember I said 'maybe', right James?" His eyebrows frowned as if he was a puppy that had just fallen of a moving car "What kind of girl do you take me for?" you put your hands on your waist. Bucky's whole face was bright red, and you bursted into laughter

"Haha" Bucky took a minute to get your joking manner, and it made the situation even funnier for you and Steve, who could barely breath

"You'll have to at least buy me a drink first" you winked

"Let's go, pair of clowns" shaking his head, he started walking away with his bag, while Steve put his arms around your shoulder as you followed Bucky.

Steve stayed by your side, and Bucky was a few steps ahead, but still listening to Steve as he told you about their missions. As you got to your apartment, Bucky finally faced you, with a serious expression

"I'll be here at seven" then, he turned away

"What bit him on the way back?" you looked up at Steve to see him shrugging his shoulders

"I guess you'll find out at seven" once your door was unlocked, he then held you again for a moment "See you tomorrow doll?"

"I will need help from someone who doesn't get drunk" Steve shook his head with a chuckle

"Alright then... Had I known I would become a sitter everytime we go to a bar, I would've had second thoughts about the whole serum experience"

6:30

Twirling in front of the mirror, you were second guessing the third dress you had tried on before the date. None of them seemed to be the perfect one, and it was getting closer and closer to the hour. Your last hope was the emerald green one, hanging in the back of the closet, you hesitantly grabbed the hanger and took a good look at it. It was off-shoulder, tea-lenght with a pleaded skirt "here goes nothing" you slipped into it and looked in the mirror again.

The green in contrast with your skin was gorgeous, you couldn't even believe your eyes. It was perfect, you didn't remember it fitting you so flawlessly, the stripes hanging just below the shoulder, your hips comfortably fitted, and the flowing skirt beneath it. You didn't put much make up on, and pulled part of your hair back on a neat half bun at the back of your head

Almost instantly after you finished getting ready, you heard the door and ran downstairs. You opened it to see an extremely well dressed Bucky, on an Oxford blue suit, holding a bouquet of pink heather flowers on his hands. You thanked yourself for not putting any rouge on, since your cheeks were naturally blushed with the sight of him

"You're early" Smiling at him

"And you are stunning" he handed you the flowers with a wink. You forgot you had told him about them. Heather flowers were your favourite, small and with a sutil, soothing scent. "Shall we go, doll?" he offered his hand for you to hold

"Let me just put these in water, come on in for a second" climbing up the steps with Bucky right behind you "So... What are we doing tonight?" the only sound was the tap running as you filled a vase with water. You started wondering if you said something that bothered him "You know... you were acting so strange on the way back from the station, did I say-"

"It's a surprise doll" He cut you off before you could start blaming yourself for the jokes you had made, with a smirk on his face "Now, can we go?"

You looped your arm on his as he lead you through the streets, guiding you to the carnival.

"Really? I didn't take you for a man who liked these" you looked at Bucky with one eyebrow arched, he shrugged as he glanced at the booths "Bet you never won a thing for any of the ladies you brought here" you laughed as his arms tensed when you mentioned other girls

"Don't worry James" you were a proud smile on your face as you walked to a booth "I'll win you one"

"There's no way, this whole thing is rigged" he said as he stopped you from reaching into your purse "And also, you are not spending a cent tonight" paying the man himself, then handing you three tiny sandbags

"Watch and learn, Barnes" the cans all fell on the first strike, along with Bucky's jaw "Which one do you want, doll?" smirking shamelessly

He was laughing, still in disbelief as you handed him the stuffed bear with a bright red bow.

"I can't believe you did that" he put his arm around your shoulder pulling you closer as you walked through the carnival

You played some more, laughing with eachother and rode the carrousel before leaving to get some dinner. After that, you headed back to your bar, it was meant to be closed today, so it was just you and Bucky.

You sat side by side at the counter, pouring out of a special whisky bottle into two glasses, you caught Bucky's stare "what?" you asked while closing the bottle

"I love you" his words left his mouth before he could stop them, fear immediatly showing through his eyes "I mean- I-" before he could continue, you put your hands on his face, pulling him closer, and let your lips clash onto his.

He was hesitant for a second, then realizing what was happening, Bucky held you closer by the waist, the warmth and sweetness of your lips dominated him, he kissed you back passionately, his tongue taking control of yours before you pulled away to catch your breath. Resting your forehead on his, you stared into his eyes, he was confused, waiting for a verbal response

You were lost for words, you loved that man, Bucky was everything you wanted, but you were afraid, you didn't know what to say, how to say it. He pulled back to look at you properly

"Y/N, I didn't mean to startle you" he began, scratching the back of his head "I have never felt this way before... That is, you are different- special"

"You don't know what you are talking about James" you were shocked by the fact he wanted you "You can have any girl you want, why me?" you took a gulp of the whisky and then he smiled

"That's why" you looked down at your glass and then back at him, with one eyebrow arched

"Because I give you good scotch?" he chuckled at your disbelief

"Because you are confident, proud of who you are, as smart as they come" you blushed at his speech "extremely beautiful, knows how to throw a punch, independent... But, most of all-" he let his face get closer to yours "you are one of the most uplifting spirits I have ever met. And no one, not even Steve, can make me laugh like you can"

"Bucky, I-" you looked down, avoiding his eyes as you felt your face burning

"The way my name sounds in your voice, how you are always willing to help anyone in need, the way you drink like a sailor" he chuckled as you put your glass down, feeling a little embarassed "I can list everything that's great abut you all night. You are everything I want Y/N.... Give me a chance"

"I don't know what to say, I.." you finally looked up at him, with hope and fear mixed in his eyes "Bucky, I wanted you ever since that first night" he lit up "I was kind of trying to get rid of you when I asked you to help me, I'd never thought you would actually help. I knew right at that moment the man you were, and..." You paused, sipping on the glass while trying to find the words, Bucky rested his hands on your knees "What I'm trying to say is... I think your are special to me too"

"Is that all?" He taunted you, raising an eyebrow "I feel like that kiss had a little more than just 'you're special"

"I can't really think straight when all my blood is flowing to my face" you shrugged with a smile "I don't think I can put in words everything I feel for you" you could feel the tears coming "You helped me in one of the most difficult moments in my life, and I don't think I can ever repay you- You are all I want"

He couldn't hold back any longer, as he saw the tears trying to escape from your eyes, Bucky leaned in, letting lips brush yours softly, just long enough to soothe you, slowly his lips travel through your skin, until he found your neck. The nibbling on your skin made a quiet moan leave your mouth, and you let your hand travel over his suit, desperate to feel more of him.

"We should go" your voice was breathy, Bucky's eyes were immeadiatly on yours

"Did I- do something wrong?" he sounded worried, afraid he had crossed a line, moving too far

"No, I mean-" you handed him the glasses and grabbed the bottle, getting up and heading for the door "We should go" turning to him and pointing at the celing. Your apartment

Quiclky locking the entrance and practically running to your door, Bucky's hands were on you again before you could finish turning the lock on the inside. You wrap yourself around him as he lifted you up, heading up the stairs, this time, your face burried on his neck, kissing every inch of it, making your way up to his ear, letting your tongue trace it carefully before whispering

"I love you too, Bucky"

He put you down for a second when you reached the living room, putting the glasses and bottle on the table. Bucky stood there watching you bite your lower lip, curious to know what his next move was going to be.

He took a deep breath, and wrapped his arms around you. No kiss, just his lustful glance locked on yours.

"I don't want you to regret this, doll" he paused, looking for any signs of hesitation

"I won't James" your lips softly toched his "I want you, I've wanted you for quite a while now... The only thing I could ever regret is letting this moment go to waste" his smile widened, then kissed you softly, the slow movements picking up the pace as the kiss grew more passionate and more heated.

Leading him to your bedroom, not letting your lips part, you let him have all of you. That night, you were his, and he was finally yours.

In the morning, none of you dared to move, you rested your head on Bucky's bare chest, listening to his heartbeat, while he stroked your hair gently. Comfort you both had been aching for, finally fulfilled.

About half an hour of serene silence, Bucky asked if you wanted to eat something, offering to make breakfast

"Well aren't you a keeper, James" he groaned at his name, making you giggle "If you make me breakfast every day, I may start using 'Bucky' more often"

"You seemed quite comfortable saying it again and again last night" he scoffed "And also, what kind of man do you take me for?" mimicking the face you had made yesterday

"In that case" you jumped off the bed, grabbing a ring from your nightstand and getting down on one knee "James Buchanan Bucky Barnes, will you do me the honor of making me breakfast everyday" barely holding back the laughter beneath your smile

"No way! That'd be my question to ask" he sat on the bed, crossing his arms and frowning. You stood up chuckling and sat on his lap, your arms wrapping around his neck

"I'm pretty sure you lost that spot when I was the one to win you that teddy bear" your smirk was interrupted by Bucky's lips, roughly pressing against yours

"Then I'll get it back, right now" his whisper against your lips was followed by him grabbing and throwing you back in bed, his body hovering over yours

"I suppose breakfast can wait"

########

Thanks for reading!

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thisonesforfanfic · 4 years

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Quarantine is great for writing

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thisonesforfanfic · 4 years

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Light in the Dark (4/?)

Bucky x Reader

A/N: Still not sure if I should put any warnings, please let me know if you think it is needed :)

Summary: You hang out with Steve and Bucky before they have to go back to the field. Not wanting to be alone, you invite them to stay at your apartment and go with you to the train station

Word Count: 1.9k

You asked for the waiter and bartender that you had hired to go home early, and hang the closed sign outside.

Tonight the bar was open only for you and the boys, they were staying only until tomorrow, so you wanted to have some fun, or at least try to. It wasn't the greatest night for any of the involved, your brother was gone, and in the morning the two had to go back to the war, but you still managed to keep yours spirits lifted. You stood in front of them, as the friends sat side by side on the other side of the counter.

You finally got to hear the story behind Steve's unbelievable streght, some of the times Bucky saved him before he had the muscles to back up his courage, along with other heartwarming and funny moments that the two had to share about their childhood.

"Can I ask one last thing before you leave?" You poured some more of your brother's favourite borboun into your and Bucky's cup, as Steve drank his beer

"Whatever you need doll" Steve was curious of what you wanted

"As long as I don't have to change random men's bandages, I'm all for it" Bucky grinned at you

"I don't want to be alone tonight" you put your glass down after a sip, Bucky looked as if he was about to invite himself to your bed "That is, could you sleep in the apartment for tonight?" you arched one eyebrow with a smirk sent his way

"I have to say, it could be worse" you all chuckled as Bucky raised his glass " This one is for Y/B/N. He might not be here today, but we shall drink half of a bottle as he would"

A sad smile took control of your face as you toasted with them, before gulping the drink down, feeling it burn its way through you. "Unh, I think it's best for me to lock up before this goes to my head"

"Easy Y/N, you still have a lot of steps to climb up" Steve chuckled at the pouting face you made at his comment.

A couple of minutes later, you were back upstairs, you told Steve to sleep in your brother's bed, and Bucky to sleep in yours. His heart almost went through his mouth before he realized you intended to sleep on the couch.

"No way doll" he took the sheets you were going to use to cover the sofa from your hands "your bed is only fun with you in it" his whisper sent shivers down your spine, and he smirked when he noticed your pinkish cheeks. "Sleep tight"

"Alright, if any of you need anything, my door is open, good night"

---

The sound of bullets running through the air, smoke all around, blood all over. Loud thomps mixed with painful screams, lightly accompanied by a ring, the explosions were getting closer and louder, the shots more deafening and there was nothing he could do, calling out for help was useless, and no amount of bullets could save him

---

You were woken by him struggling in his sleep. Bucky was sweating like craky, with expressions of pure pain on his face, the sounds coming from him were pure agony. You kneeled beside him and gently stroked his exposed chest

"Hey James, it's me" his face was tortured "It's Y/N, wake up Bucky, please.... It's just a dream"

He practically jumped up, sitting on the couch with very heavy breathing

"Hey, it's okay, I'm here" he looked at you with the dim light coming from the window contouring your face "Bad dreams?" you smiled, but he waited for his breathing to become stable before talking

"I didn't mean to wake y-" you immediatly came up with something

"I was just going for a glass of water, and I heard you" you put your hands on his face "How bad was it?"

"I don't really want to upset you with it" he took your hands on his, away from his face, so he could look the other way, embarassed of the situation

"Come here" you said softly, got up and offered a hand to help him stand "I know just the thing to help you sleep well" he was hesitant, not sure what you meant "come on Bucky"

He couldn't resist his name on your lips, it sounded so sweet and smooth, he then followed into your room.

"Remember our nights under the stars?" Bucky nodded as he layed in bed, with you next to him, resting your head on his shoulder, he put his arms around you "Imagine that, like nothing else mattered. Imagine those stars shining above us now"

Bucky closed his eyes, remembering how calm you made him feel on those moments, alone with you on his arms, your sweet laugh and his silly stories, the dreams you both had, what you would do after the war.

You felt his tension loosen underneath and continued "Even when we can't see them, they are right over us. The jokes you told, our dreams, those quiet seconds in between. There may be rain storms, whatever it is, but the good memories will always be there with you, even if you can't remember them straight away"

You paused to glance at him, just to see him looking back. You smiled and kept going

"That will always be a safe place your mind can go to"

"Thanks doll" he took a deep breath letting out a small chuckle "Had I known a nightmare was all it took for you to call me Bucky, I would've had one earlier" you laughed along

"Well, don't get used to it just yet James" His chuckles were silenced by your words "Maybe when you come back you'll hear it some more. Now, let's get some sleep okay?"

"M-hm, goodnight doll" he kissed you on the forehead and both of you were quickly back asleep.

The light was creeping through the window as you watched Bucky sleeping beneath you, it was all a beautiful sight, he looked so peaceful, so much better than last night.

"Good morning beautiful" his voice was husky as he sent a sleepy smile your way "what are you doing?"

"Just enjoying the view" you giggled as his cheeks blushed slightly "C'mon now, I'll make some breakfast for you boys" you got up, but Bucky just stayed in bed, watching you as the morning light met your skin, how beautiful your hair looked when you let it down, softly brushing against your sholders. His mesmerized stare made you blush as well, trying to brush it off, you skipped out of the room "I will be damned if you boys get on that train on empty stomachs!"

Bucky laughed and slowly sat on the bed.

"I love you Y/N" he whispered, only for him to hear

After breakfast, the boys took turns to wash up before getting ready. When Steve was in the shower, you called Bucky into your room again, he had a grin stamped on his face, just waiting for you to lean in and kiss him, you surprised him, however, with your brother's knife.

"I want you to have this" you looked him dead serious "And before you say you can't take it, I want it to protect you when you need it, just like my brother did" Bucky started chewing on his lower lip and your eyes welled up with tears

"I'll take it doll, come here" he pulled you in for a hug and gently wiped away the tears falling on your cheeks "and I'll bring it back for you, okay?" you nodded

----

"Steve, can you do me a favor?" you asked the blond as you were walking into the train station

"Sure thing doll, whatever you need"

"If this one gets hurt, let me know so I can punch him when he gets back" you pointed at Bucky

The trio laughed as you walked into a sea of soldiers accompanied by families and friends.

"I'm gonna miss you two" you said as you watched couples saying goodbye to eachother

"We'll be back before you know it Y/N" Steve pulled you under his arm "you'll be so busy working you won't even remember we exist"

You scoffed "how dare you?" making an overly dramatic face "I could never forget the man who jumped off a plane on his own to save my brother" you paused, glancing over at Bucky "Oh yeah, and the walking flirt too"

Steve bursted into laughter and Bucky tried to hide his chuckles with a pout. The happy sounds are interrupted by the first whistle, signaling the train was leaving soon.

Your grin fades as you hugged Steve goodbye "I'm gonna miss you so much" you kept repeating that, no other words were coming to you as you tried to say goodbye.

"We'll be back before you know it" He kissed your forehead before pulling away and looking you dead in the eye "Are you sure you'll be okay? We can figure out a way to stay here if you need to"

His words were genuine and filled with pain, afraid to leave you after what you had just learnt.

"I'll be fine Steve, don't worry about me" You smiled at him, trying to hide the anxiety you were feeling "I mean, I would love to have these hugs everyday, but I'm pretty sure Miss Carter would send someone to kill me for it" He shook his head laughing and you turned to Bucky

He had his classic smirk on his face, but his eyes were softer than usual, those crystal blue eyes looking into your Y/E/C ones were making your heart melt

"Now... I got a question" Bucky asked as you put your arms around his neck to hug him

"Yes James?" you saw his eyebrows frown at his name before he put his hands on your waist and pulled you closer, attaching his lips to your cheek

"If I'm getting a hug now, what will be my reward when I come back?" his low voice sent a shiver down your spine, he noticed and chuckled "Hm doll?"

"Uhm, well..." You pulled away with a finger on your chin, as you carefully thought about your next words "First, I'll need proof of your heroic act" you raised your eyebrows with a smirk "then maybe I'll let you get that kiss you've been trying to steal"

His eyes widened as he glanced at Steve "You heard that, right?" His best friend nodded with a smile on his face "You'll be the one responsible of proof, punk"

"Jerk" Steve laughed the second whistle blew

"You sure you I can't steal it right now doll?" Bucky looked at you with puppy eyes, tempting you to the core.

"You know the drill soldier, first the task, then the reward" you winked at him, then your whole body tensed "You better come home safe" you glanced at the two soldiers "Both of you" the words leaving your mouth were in between a cry and a threat. You gave each of them a kiss on the cheek, and the boys ran into the train before the third blow.

You stood there, holding your mother's pendant thightly, as the train slowly left the station. When it was gone, the tears took over your face

Come home to me Bucky

##########

Thanks for reading!

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thisonesforfanfic · 4 years

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Light in the Dark (3/?)

Bucky x Reader

A/N: I do not know which warnings I should put on this, if you feel like any is needed, please let me know.

Summary: Steve and Bucky come back earlier than expected to meet you, bearing some very unpleasent news

Word Count: 1.8K

In front of a narrow apartment building, Bucky took in the sight of the tall black door, the worn out steps leading to it, and the bright red brick wall holding it all together. Standing next to his best friend, he was hesitant to go in, he knew he was bearing too much on his shoulders, and he was terrified of whatever was coming next. He took a deep breath and analyzed the sight again before ringing the bell.

---

You were awaken by the noise coming from the door. Taking care of the bar without Y/B/N was taking a huge toll on your sleep schedule, you waited for another bell, in the hopes you were just still dreaming and could go back to resting. As it rang again, you got up to realize you were still wearing the same knee high skirt and black shirt from yesterday's shift, shaking your head at yourself for not even being able to have changed. You stumbled down the steps barefoot, rubbing your eyes as you opened the door.

"Steve? James? What are you doing here? I thought you were arriving next week" their blank expressions made you confused at first "Where's Y/B/N? Is he coming on a different train or something?"

"Y/N, he..." You didn't to let Steve finish, still a little confused.

"It's okay, I'll just go get changed and we can go to the station-"

"Doll, please" Bucky's eyes were trying to find yours, begging for you to look at him as he talked to you. You spotted the telegram on his hands, you couldn't take your eyes off it "listen to us" you wouldn't, you knew the dreadful words they wanted to deliver.

"No, he's on his way, come on in, I'll be quick" you turned around, to go back inside, but you felt a grip on your wrist, holding you in place.

"We thought we had be the ones to tell you Y/N" Steve held you as you tried to get rid of his grip desperately, what led him to pull you closer, not letting you move.

"Don't! He's coming back" you shouted as you punched the super soldier's iron chest, as hard as you possibly could, your hand ached but you kept doing it.

Steve held you, letting you punch him on the chest as the realization of what it all was kicked in. The punches quickly lost strengh, giving place to a painful cry " I... need him... -here"

Bucky wanted to hold you, comfort you, make everything alright, but he had no idea how, he didn't know how hard it would be for him to see you cry like that, after your cry turned into sniffs and uneven breathing, he managed to say something.

"Doll, please, let us help you" You nodded as you let go of Steve and led them in, Bucky put a comforting hand on your back. He was heartbroken, he knew you'd be hurt, but he didn't expect to be so sad at the sight

"Y/N, your brother was helping us free soldiers being held captive on a Hydra base" Steve was battling his words, he knew it was his duty to say what happened, but both of them didn't want to see you suffer. "He sacrificed himself so we could lead everyone out of there"

"I tried to get him out" Bucky said softly, as you entered the small kitchen, they took their places around the table in front of you, but no one dared to sit "He shoved me away.... a- and gave me this" He was hesitant to open his hand, he knew what it meant to you. Your mom's necklace, you had given it to Y/B/N as a good luck charm, as he had given the knife to you.

"She gave it to me before she ran back to the house.... To keep them a-, to stall... so we could be free" You took the necklace, a thin black chain with a light blue rose pendant, holding it close to your heart, you felt the tears stream down your face

"This isn't really happening, is it?" You stopped by the window, turning to the men standing in front of you. Looking for any sign that it was all a dream, but they seemed just as devastaded as you were "He'd never... leave me" you felt your knees give in, and almost instantly, two arms wrapping around you before you hit the ground.

"He wanted you to be protected, we are here to do just that" Bucky kissed your forehead and you burried your face on his neck, sobbing, not even his comforting embrace was helping you now.

"I want t- them... ba -ck" You could barely speak "I- I don't want to be alone, don't.. leave"

"Y/N, we are not going anywhere" you felt Steve's arm on your back as he whispered to you "we are here for you"

He offered to brew some tea, and you nodded. Bucky lifted you up, holding you tight, making his way to the narrow living room, he sat down on the beat up couch, not letting his grip on you loosen. You kept your head burried on his shoulders, afraid of him vanishing if you looked up.

Steve joined you after a while with the kettle and mugs, though it still took you a few minutes to calm down enough to even be able to see anything through the tears. You didn't want to open your eyes though, face the tiny room knowing he wouldn't be there anymore, Y/B/N wouldn't tickle you whenever you sat on your father's old chair before he could reach it, getting home late after a tiring night at the bar and falling asleep at eachother's lap on this couch. He was your only family.

"Please doll, drink some" Steve poured the cammomile tea to a mug, and handed it out to you "it will help you feel a little better" he insisted as you didn't let go of Bucky's shirt.

Bucky took the mug from Steve and whispered in your ear "You know... Y/B/N sacrificed so you could at least have at least us" he let his arms around you loosen so he could look into your Y/E/C eyes, those blue marbels staring at you, just trying to figure out how to take the pain away "I know is not what you wanted, but he wouldn't like it seeing you this way" He brushed the hair strands off your face, putting it behind your ear "please drink"

You couldn't deny him that, what Bucky was saying was right, Y/B/N wouldn't want you to be sad like that, just like you helped him when your father passed. Death wasn't meant to be sad, but a way to remember what a person did when they lived, how good and how bad some decisions were, the sacrifices they did and most of all what they tought us. But it was just too soon for him.

You took the cup and sipped on the warm tea "thank you" you looked over at Steve with guilt in your eyes "sorry I hit you, I shouldn't have"

"You are hurt" He put his hands on your knees "We all are, this is not easy, but you should know we really are here for you, right Buck?"

"Yeah doll, let's drink our tea and once we are done we can go for a walk, make lunch, whatever you feel like"

"I- I wanna hear about him... Is that okay?" you looked at their surprised and yet confused faces "I want to hear about his bravery" you pleaded as Steve looked down at his mug, with his shoulders shruged

Seeing his friend was uncomfortable, somehow feeling guilty for Y/B/N's death. Bucky quickly intervined

"How about this: I'll tell you everything that happened these past few days, and Steve can go to the store so we can make lunch" He saw the immediate relief of weight on his friend's shoulders and a hint of a smile on your lips as you sipped again on the mug.

As Steve left, Bucky told you all about the places they had seen, the beautiful, movie like sceneries, your brother's jokes, how good he was at sneaking in everywhere, and how his aim saved Bucky at least three times. After he told the stories, you kept staring at his eyes, as if asking for him to keep going, but when you realized there wasn't anymore good parts on them, you broke the silence

"Thanks James" a fragile smile on your lips. You were feeling a lot lighter “I needed that”

"Why are you so persistent in not calling me Bucky?" He said with a grin, coming closer to you. You just now realized how close your face was to his, still with your legs over his and his arm around your waist, you noticed how good that felt. Looking at him, feeling his soft touch and warm breath, that smile.

Shit

You pulled away as you heard Steve opening the door, turning red and making Bucky chuckle

"Just don't punch my teeth out, doll" he whispered in your ear, then got up to help Steve

You got up right after, and excused yourself to take a shower while they prepared some sandwiches.

There were just too many thoughts racing through your head: his death, his sacrifice, the bar, the work you'd have to double, going back to war without Y/B/N, staying here alone, and... Bucky.

All those nights staring at the nightsky by his side, and the moment you had on the sofa made you fall so hard for him, but you were scared to admit it, he probably flirted with you just for fun, but you loved it.

"Is everything alright in there doll?" His voice snapped you back to reality "You've been there for a while, and I will definetly break this door down if need be"

"I'm fine James" Although a part of you realy wanted him in there with you

"Alright, take your time doll... We are very hungry though" you laughed quietly "so we'd really appreciate if you grace us with your company to eat"

Wrapped in nothing but a towel, with your wet hair over your shoulders, you opened the door to find a Bucky paralized by the sight

"Can your hunger wait for me to change?" you whispered in a playful voice.

Not being able to find words, he just nodded and stepped back for you to walk to your bedroom. You decided to put on a white shirt from Y/B/N, feeling his scent made you a little more comfortable. It was pretty large, though, so you tucked it into your grey skirt before going back out to eat something. The three remained silent for a while, Bucky and Steve were really that hungry, and you just didn't want to talk.

"I really want to thank you two" you looked at the men after the sandwiches were gone

"You don't have to doll" Steve was sincere

"I really do" you frowned your face "I can't even begin to imagine the trouble you went through just to be the ones to deliver the news"

"Well you are right about that" Bucky’s lips , lightening the mood imensly "since we are going to be in big trouble, you could at least pour us those drinks like promised"

“It’s the least I can do” you were numbed with the whole situation, but their company made it easier to bear. Their worry showed you that you’d never truly be alone.

#############

Thanks for reading!

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thisonesforfanfic · 4 years

Text

Light in the Dark (2/?)

Bucky x Reader

Author’s Note: I’m new at this, I do not know which warnings to put in, please help if you think I need to do so

Summary: Steve finally comes back to camp, along with your brother and Bucky. He shamelessly flirts with you,and as you try to brush him off, you challenge Bucky to help you on the medic tent

Word count: 2.9k

It has been two days since you met Captain America, you were starting to get sick to your stomach just at the thought of not seeing him again. It's not like you wanted to be with him or anything, he was kind and sweet, but also your last hope of seeing Y/B/N alive again.

You had seen that british lady Peggy yesterday, and she didn't sound exactly hopeful

"There is not much we can do now miss Y/L/N, I am confident he made it in, but given the amount of shots that hit our plane and the time passing, I am certain he was and I will be in a lot of trouble"

You could tell she liked him, and it saddened you to see her have to deal with this in such a cold way, but you were in no state of mind to help anyone in anyway right now.

You hadn't really slept in the past 48 hours. You piled boxes, changed patches, kept reorganizing all the cabinets, folding sheets, running to the entrance of the camp every now and then when you thought you heard any commotion. Your uniform was the only thing looking okay at that moment, puffy eyes, your hair pulled back on the same messy braid you made two days ago. You were a mess.

When the sun started to shine, you thought you heard yet another commotion and started to curse yourself and your stupid hopes for making you hallucinate. It you took a few seconds to notice that, this time, you were not imagining things, curious eyes and ears were all going to the front of the camp.

You thought you were hallucinating again, an even stronger one this time, but it honestly didn't matter, you started running with everything you still had in you, tears of hope and desperationdripping down your face, pushing your way through the crowd, as you finally got to the gate and saw them. You saw Y/B/N's eyes widening as you screamed his name.

"Y/N?" he couldn't think straight as you jumped onto his arms, tears of joy and relief streaming down both of your faces "wha- why are you here? how long have you been here?" he was a little disoriented, trying to look at you but you didn't want to let go of his embrace

"It doesn't matter, I'm with you now, I knew he would bring you back!" You pulled away only to hug the blond tall figure standing right next to you "I knew you would save him, thank you so much Steve!" Your cheeks were even hurting for smiling so hard, so many good feelings sorrounding you at that moment, you didn't even noticed the whole convoy of men behind them, stoping for a second to admire the tender reencounter, imagining their wives, lovers or sisters, others just admiring the lightness of the moment after all they had suffered.

When you pulled away to once again look at your brother, not being able to hold back your smile, he put his arms around you and you hugged his waist as close as you possibly could. As everyone started walking into camp again, you heard a playful voice on Steve's side

"Well, I also want a hug like that doll". You looked over to a blue eyed man, who opened his arms playfully to you with a wink.

That was a playboy if you ever saw one. Hitting on nurses and medics was common on the conditions they were, but damn, the man hadn't even passed the gate after being held captive for God knows how long and he was already flirting.

Thankfully, your job there made you quick on your feet

"Your friend over here just saved my brother and apparently all these men's lives" you said while pointing in all direections "so I'd say the stakes are pretty high for you to get yours" you smirked back, he let his arms down and raised his eyebrows looking at steve, quite impressed at your response.

"When you figure out your grand act, I will be at the medic ward waiting for you, doll " you sent a wink to him making your brother and Steve almost trip while laughing.

"I'll see you soon then" He took it as a challenge, and you were intrigued by the grin he sent your way.

After all the commotion and praising, you had to go back to tend the wounded they brought back, they really did put up a fight while getting out, you had a very long day ahead of you.

It was a very busy morning, you didn't stop even for a second, the first couple of hours were pretty easy, you were taken by the adrenaline of seeing Y/B/N again, and having him help you out was a bliss. He wasn't exactly a doctor but he could do the basic 'clean then cover' on more artificial wounds. Altough there were quite a few nurses, all help was welcome in days like these when there were just too many wounded.

As the sun peaked, the restlessness of last night started to kick in, and you went to rest for the afternoon, after working for almost a day straight (aside from all the other emotions of course) you didn't trust yourself to help anyone else for at least a couple of hours. Some of the other nurses seemed mad about it, but Megan stood up for you and said she'd cover for you if need be.

----

It was already dark when you were woken up by Megan.

"Hey love, sorry to wake you" she stroke your shoulder while sitting by your side "your brother left a couple of hours ago, and I really need a break.... Things have quieted down, but you know, tonight's shift was yours and we can't leave them unattended"

"Thanks for letting me sleep so much" you yawned and got up and quickly got dressed. Stepping into the room you went around checking every soldier's vitals and bandages, making small talk to check if they were consious, though, most had already fallen asleep, as you got to the last couple of beds, you spotted a pretty decent man, no big wounds or cuts, just a smirk and drawing blue eyes, staring at you as you approached.

"So, what was it mr. Soldier?" you smirked while checking his heartbeat "Did you figure out your heroic act or got hurt trying?

"Honestly doll," he pressed his hand on his heart "I feel like it is being pulled out in pieces" You giggled ate his terrible acting "Ough, there goes another one" He closed his eyes pretending to feel even more pain

"I am afraid that this is not my specialty mr.-" He stopped you from going back to the other soldiers by grabbing your wrist.

"Call me Bucky" gently pulling you to him "please, it really hurts" He smiled as you got closer to him, unexpectedly grabbing and reading his dog tag. James Buchanan Barnes

"Alright mr. Barnes" You pulled away with a smile "If you want me to fix you, you'll have to help me fix all these men" you pointed to the other beds, he seemed a little unsatisfied with your proposition "But you can start by brewing some coffee for us" you said winking and pointing to a tiny box, at the corner of the room where you kept your share of 'contraband', then, lending him a hand to get up from the bed.

"I think this will qualify as more than just a heroic act" he looked around at the beds before grabbing your hand and pulling you in for an embrace, you quickly went through under his arm, making him twirl and look at you in disbilief.

"First the task, then the reward, doll" you both chuckled as you started to tend the sleeping soldiers.

---

While the time passed, you noticed Bucky wasn't the most skilled while taking care of the wounds, but he was actually trying hard and watching your every move to make everything right, and after a while, you had not nothing to do but stay alert.

Bucky was washing his hands when you came from behind him and to his surprise, actually hugged him. Feeling his heart as you put your hands on his chest, you whispered "Thank you James"

"This isn't fair!" he took your hands on his, making you open your arms and give him some space "This is the kind of reward I wanted" pulling you to his warm chest, resting his head next to yours, the warm breath on your right ear made you shiver, making him feel more confident, as if he gained control over the quick-witted girl, slowly getting his face in front of yours, staring at your Y/E/C eyes as you stared at his blue ones. "And I said, you can call me Bucky" he leaned in closer.

You pulled away before his mouth could get to yours, snapping out of the trance.

"Okay, now that I've drank that much coffee, I doubt I will sleep any moment soon" Bucky sat at one of the empty beds, brushing off the fact you just rejected those soft parted lips. He invited you to sit next to him with a hand gesture "What do we do now?"

"I still have to be awake and ready for any inconviniences, but I suppose you earned the right to access a very special stash" he raised his eyebrows as you went to the corner of the room and grabbed another lightwood box and brought it to him, he chuckled as you opened the smuggled liquor.

"So you carry around a knife and smuggle drinks" Bucky said on a scoffing tone while analyzing one of the bottles "Are you undercover trying to destroy us from the inside?" he grimaced.

"These are some of the perks of owning a bar back home" you chuckled, putting the box down "Heroic acts deserve recognition, and so do bad ones" you tapped on the knife Steve had given back to you earlier, with a proud grin.

"You and Y/B/N must have really proud parents, a soldier and a beautiful strong nurse for children" He noticed you felt bothered by his words, leting your head down, while still trying to keep a smile on "Did I say somenthing wrong? I am sorry doll, I didn't mean to offend you" he quickly got up and put his hand on your face, holding your head up, making you look at him, worry filling his piercing blue eyes as he tried to understand his mistake.

"Don't worry about it James, it's just... I miss them, that's all, I wish they could see me and Y/B/N now" He put his arms around you, feeling guilty from bringing up such a delicate subject.

"Please forgive me doll, I had no clue" He squeezed you thight before stepping back to look at you, his arms still around your waist.

"It's usually okay to talk about them, but it's just been a very emotional day" you shrugged and tried to laugh to lighten the mood. "Plus, you already did your good deeds today, you don't need to listen to some boring old stories". The man was just hitting on you a couple hours ago, you'd love to spend your time talking about your family, but you also didn't want to be a burden to anyone, specially on these circunstances.

"As I said, I don't think I will be sleeping any time soon" Bucky sat down, waiting for you to take your place beside him, when you did, he put his arms around you, gently stroking your arm then continued "So, what is the story behind you doll?"

You started to tell him about your mom, how she was the one who inspired you to be where you were. She was a healer, and she sacrificed herself so your father could escape with you and your brother to the US, one of the few things you still had from hers were her notebooks, filled with medicine recipes and bandages techniques.

Your father, on the other hand, was a preacher, but when you moved he changed his purpose, helping people outside of the church. Supporting soldiers who came home from the first great war, as well as the families of those who didn't. Funny enough, he also had a bar to cover the expenses. Your parents' actions inspired you and your brother to dedicate yourselves to the country that welcomed you.

After a while, you and Bucky were just laughing, telling jokes and making fun of eachother's stories. You were so tired though, you felt the weight of your eyelids like never before, you tried to stand, but Bucky held you close.

"Don't worry, I'm awake, you can rest for a bit" you smiled and quickly fell asleep on his shoulder while listening to his smooth voice, humming a sweet melody.

Bucky thought you looked so peaceful, he didn't dare to move. Such a beautiful, funny and sweet girl, sorrounded by pain and chaos, still managing to keep it together.

"Sleep tight doll" he whispered, trying not to startle you" I'll keep watch". Little did he know, at that moment, his heart was already done for.

-----

The following week was exhilarating, you'd meet your brother, Steve and Bucky before they had to complete their duties, always trying to cheer them up with some funny story, especially when they had to go to the field. After that you'd take the first shifts in the tent, and sometimes check with miss Peggy on the status of the batallion's missions. When the soldiers would get back, you usually had dinner with them, Steve and Y/B/N would usually go to their tent right after, but Bucky always had an excuse to get your attention afterwards: a small cut, a bruise, a slight burn.

You realized pretty quickly he was just trying to spend some time together, so you decided to stargaze with him (instead of bothering the night shift's nurse) as you talked about what you wanted to do when the war was done. It was the moment you most lunged for in your day, his arms innocently wrapped around you as you both layed on the back of an unloaded truck.

It all went by with the blink of an eye though, before you knew it, the time for your break came around. You were relieved to be able to escape for a while, but at the same time you didn't want to go, it was not only your brother that made the departure hard, but also the couple of friends you made.

Steve was one of the sweetest people you'd ever met, always checking in on you, offering a hand and a smile. And then there was James... oh, Bucky, always hitting on you, as if he lunged for your teases in the same way you lunged for his blued-eyed glances and flirts.

You caught yourself staring at him while the three boys were telling you about their newly formed batallion, meant to take down Hydra. Bucky playfully sent a a wink your way before you could turn to your brother, getting you off guard and making your cheeks turn red.

"Careful Barnes, I've seen her punch a man's teeth out for less" your brother let out with a chuckle. "And you better not be getting any ideas" he looked at you with a grin

"And you better stay safe if you wanna start making threats" you pulled him in for a hug "Or I'll punch your teeth out next"

"Y/N..." You felt the pain at his voice, not wanting to let you go alone.

"You know Y/B/N, I take better care of dad's bar when you're not there to drink half of every bottle" trying to get a laugh out of him before you let go "So don't worry about me, I can take care of myself. It's you I worry about" you put your hand on his cheeks, looking in his eyes "come home to me" he nodded, and you went on to hug the super soldier, by his side.

"You too Steve, I better be pouring drinks for you all on the bar in a couple of weeks" you hugged him tight, whispering in his ear "please keep him safe"

"Of course I will, doll" it sounded so sweet and innocent when he called you that, when Steve said it was in a sort of platonic, protective way. "I wouldn't miss that drink for nothing"

The loud whistle were the sign for you to hurry, the tears you were holding back started to come through as Bucky took you in his arms.

"We're gonna be alright doll, the worst that will happen is how bad we'll miss you" he tried comforting you

"You better be there too, James" you put your hands on his cheeks and looked into his eyes "or I will come back here to punch your teeth out as well" he smiled at you, and maybe it was just your imagination, but you could swear you saw a tear fall from his eyes when he kissed your forehead before letting you go.

The third and final whistle blew as you gave him a peck on the cheek, grabbed your things and rushed towards the truck, not taking your eyes off the trio. Waving goodbye until they were completely out of sight.

#############

Thanks for reading!

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thisonesforfanfic · 4 years

Text

Light in the dark (1/?)

Buky x Reader

Author’s Note: This first part is more of an introdutcion to the character. It might just be boring. Also I have no idea on the warnings I should make, please let me know and I will edit it in <3

Summary: You are working as a nurse on an american camp in Italy. Waiting for your brother to come back from a failed mission, you meet Captain America after a failed show he did on the site.

Word Count: 2.3k

P.S. I was inspired by @webslingingspiderling, thinking of a prequel to one of their series. I might be going on a differeent direction later, though

You were desperate to find him, to see him again meant everything to you at that point. Your brother had left for an infiltration mission and no one in the camp had heard anything in days, it didn't take a genius to conclude it meant bad news, you wouldn't allow yourself to lose hope, though. While taking care of some of the wounded that managed to get back, you overheard some of them saying a huge part of the batallion was taken, and were being held captive.

This was meant to be a pleasent surprise, you had asked to be transfered to where Y/B/N's unit was, so you could be with him since you were both serving the country in your own way. He was a great soldier, no doubt, your parents had raised warriors, but you were definitely the best nurse there was with the American troops in Europe.

"Who would have thought" Y/B/N said proudly while putting his hands on your sholder "the kids of an immigrant going off to war to save the country that saved him" It was the first tour for both of you, you were terrified to be separated from him, sad you were not tasked with the enfermary at his battalion

Keeping your head down so Y/B/N couln't see the tears coming "Dad would be very proud of you br-"

"Proud of us!" He quickly cut you off, while putting a stran of your hair behind your ear, then raising your chin to look in your eyes " I might be running of with a gun in my hand, but you are the one that will be keeping us in one piece after all" he cuckles "but in all seriousness, I count on you to patch my ass up"

"Well you better not need it!" you stated, starting to get angry just at the thought of seeing him wounded "I might be good at it, but if you ever need to lay on my hospital beds I will make sure you regret it"

He laughed at your threats, "You know I'll always make it back to you in one piece Y/N"

He'd better.

Pulling you out of your memories, you heard quite a comotion outside of the medical quarters, you stepped outside to see the soldiers rallying around the stage.

"Go watch it!" Megan, one of the few people you would call a friend, whispered to you "You need some distraction right now, you look awful, plus, from all the posters, that captain guy looks like quite the eyecandy" You laughed at her comment, Megan was always trying to pin you up with some handsome soldier, ever since she got married to some airforce big shot she was trying to find you someone on a rank.

You understood her point of view, to her you were alone, not counting on your brother to help you out from now on, she wanted you to be protected, but you didn't want to think about it, and you knew you could fend for yourself if need be.

"Alright mrs. Nurse" you said with a laugh, you liked calling people mr. and mrs. as a sign of respect, even if you knew them on a name basis, especially when it made people a little uneasy. Megan hated it when you called her that way, so you laughed as she stuck her tongue out "I'm going, cover for me, will you?"

"Of couse my mrs. Y/L/N" as she practically pushed you out the door.

---

The whole thing was terrible. That is, he was a good looking guy, and the soldiers loved the girls dancing, but damn, that show was meant to be played anywhere else but here. When Captain America ended his speech, you could see he wanted to burry his face on the ground, the soldiers were mocking him, soon enough they were throwing stuff and calling for the girls to get back onstage.

"Bunch of animals" you whispered to yourself, rolling your eyes as you walked to the back of the poorly established stage, wanting to see if the man was OK after those soldiers' behavior 'it might have been bad, but the man's just doing what he was told' you thought. You quickly spotted the soldier sitting on the steps next to a couple of empty racks.

"Are you alright Mr. Captain?" you approached slowly, trying to make him feel a little better but he barely moved, he was focused on the notebook he had on his hands.

"I'm fine maam, thanks", you could feel in his voice and posture he was pretty sad about the whole thing, but still trying to be as kind and polite as possible. You spotted the circus monkey he had drew, with the same costume he was wearing.

Poor man

"I don't want to be invasive," you continued, wishing to make the man feel better "- but you did probably just present yourself to the thoughest crowd at their thoughest moment this week, so don't be so hard on yourself" you offered the kindest smile you could as you took a seat by his side.

"I was stupid to not have thought that awful speech wouldn't worked here", the soldier finally picked his head up and looked at you "But why would you say this is their thoughest moment miss...?" He was eager to better understand his situation, while still being as polite as he could

"Y/L/N, mr. Captain, but please, call me Y/N".

"In that case, drop the mr... Call me Steve" he said while offering his hand out.

"Well Mr. Steve" you shook his hand while wearing a grin on your face, making him smile briefly "unfortunately, those guys just lost a lot of companions, they are maybe a quarter of the whole squad that was sent out a couple of days ago" now your voice was starting to shake with the terrible thoughts of what could have happened to Y/B/N.

"I should've thought..." He whispered to himself as you sniffed the tears away

Strugling to put the smile back on you continued "Well, if it makes you feel a little less pessimist, some of the guys I took care of on the medic ward said a great portion of those men are being held captive at a Hydra base.... Although I'm starting to think I will never see Y/B/N ever again" the smile faded with every word that went of your moutht, you couldn't even pretend to be optimist at that moment, your world was falling apart

"Hey miss Y/N, please don't be sad, you'll see your love again" he said, while putting his arms around you trying to console you. You let out a small chuckle with the comment, lifting your head up from your hands to say he was actually your brother. he hugged you thighter, offering a shoulder for you to cry on, but you just let him hold you for a while, it felt nice to have someone, possibly a friend, that understood your pain at that moment.

"This was meant to be a pleasent surprise, you know" you started to tell him as you pulled away from his warm and comforting hug. "These are meant to be my last couple of weeks in service before going back home for a while... You see, since I'm an immigrant nurse, people would hardly ever let me know the location of his battalion, under the belief I could be a spy, so we have barely written eachother" you paused to take a breath before the tears took control of you." When I finally discovered where he was and stated, I asked to be transfered here, to see him, since I don't have a clue when he's going home, and a letter would have taken way too much time. But he- he wasn't here" a few tears streamed down your face before you wiped them away "To my misfortune, his name is on the missing or presumed dead of the 107th"

You saw the Captain's eyes widening "the 107th you said?" He had worry, fear and pain mixed on his glance. You could see the million thoughts racing through your mind, as if you had just shot him in the stomach.

"Yes, Steve" An unfamiliar voice came from behind.

A beautiful brunnette was standing right above the steps you sat on. Despite the confusion in his eyes, you could see she made him feel more comfotable just by being there. You immediatly stood up to leave, but your body wouldn't move another inch. You could tell, judging by her face and uniform she knew at least something about the soldiers.

Quickly galncing at her name stiched on the uniform, you asked "Mrs. Carter, I do not mean to be indelicate, but do you know anything about them?" Your eyes were filling with hope and your heart was beating so fast you could swear both of them could hear it.

"I am sorry my dear, but I am not allow to talk to you about it, you should go tend to the wounded now" She sounded very harsh, but you didn't think much of it, most of your interactions outside of the medic ward ended that way

"yes, of course. Goodbye mrs. Carter, mr. Captain" so you nodded and started heading your way, trying to keep the tears from falling

---

"Her brother is in it Peggy, she's just worried" Steve said as he watched you go wiping your tears "Bucky is on the list as well, isn't he?" turning to Peggy, he had pain, anger, sadness and confusion all mixed up on his eyes, hoping the woman had answers to any of his doubts.

"Unfortunately, I do not know much, but I know who might" She motioned for him to get up as she walked towards the commander's tent

---

The enfermary was awfully quiet, there were not many soldiers for you to help. Most of the injured you tended to had been either estabilized and sent home, or were good enough to get up in a day or two. The few that were still there at the moment were, much like you, waiting for a miracle. No other missions were conducted ever since the disaster that took Y/B/N, so you had little to do there, especially at night. All you could do was look over at those who were sleeping or usually too high on medications to make any sound.

You sat on the edge of a french sargent's bed, changing the blood soaked bandages he had on where his right leg sould be, when you heard footsteps coming closer to you. It was definetly Megan, she would usually come in the middle of the night to check on you, she even transferred with you to Italy because she worried about you not getting any rest, Megan was like the mom you once had.

"Hey Megan, go back to bed, everything's fine", you said, not taking your eyes away from the wounds,

Probably woken up by his screams, those pillows were the worst to muffle the sounds of pain.

"Y/N..." you recognize the soothing voice, still concentrated in your actions you responded.

"I was not expecting to find you coming in mr. Captain, did the british lady already break that heart?" You said in a playful tone.

"Steve, please" He chuckled at your comment, but said nothing else, waiting for you to finish what you were doing.

"Give me a second, I am almost done" He took a seat on the bed opposite to the one you were. Gently covering the wound and closing the bandage, you looked to the sargent with a warm smile "C'est fini". You got to the sink and washed your hands before walking over to Steve, you noticed he was wearing gear, which could only mean one thing, really.

"So, what are you about to do?" you askes while drying your hands on your apron, shaking your head in disbelief. You knew exactly what Steve was up to, you just didn't know how.

"I'm saving them... Peggy has called in a favour and I will be dropped off close enough to their camp"

"You can't be serious, all by yourself? "That plan was nonsense, you both knew it, but you also knew there was barely any other option.

"I don't think I have much of a choice, there might be as much as 400 lives there, and no one else is willing to sacrifice" He was firm with his words, no one was changing his mind at this point. You never thought someone would be crazy or brave enough to do something like that.

"Well in that case...I should to give you something" you pulled your skirt up to take the knife strapped on your leg, but the poor lighting in the room made the captain feel extremely uncomfortable, not understanding what you were doing. "Relax" you chuckled as his cheeks got visibly red, then placing the weapon on both of your hands and offering it out

"Take this, my brother gave it to me for good luck" He was impressed by the bone carved handle and was hesitant to even touch it

"Please" you insisted "I will be right here for you to give it back once you're done, I know it will help you bring them back, it's not a gun, but it is still pretty pointy" you raised your eyebrows, practically waving it at him

Steve took a deep breath "Alright, I'll take it" he walked towards you "for good luck!" You couldn't help but smile at the man you wished to see again very soon. You gave him a peck on the cheek

"Now go, miss Carter is probably going to be jealous of you spending so much time with another girl" You saw his face almost catch fire at the sound of your words. "Good luck Steve, you better come back in one piece and with that knife on your hand"

You smiled as he walked out of the tent, looking back at you for a quick salute, making you laugh a little before going back to checking vitals as your mind drifted to memories.

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