the-horrible-not-so-bad-lifeofme

[the-horrible-not-so-bad-lifeofme]

I swear I think I'm in love...

How do I start this...... they say your third love is the one that comes when you give up and aren't looking and that its the one, the last one you'll need. And I thought I was in love before, but this is soo different.

On a sunny day I was super bored and I went to get a bite to eat at the restaurant my best friend works at. And I'm talking to her and notice this dude keeps walking out. I know the guy. He has worked there forever but I never paid attention to him because he had a gf a few years back when I would come a lot.

But I ignored him still and then I ordered a cheesecake. And this nigga puts a smiley face on it. 💀💀. After that few days pass and I was snapchatting my BFF but a deer ran out and I accidentally sent it to him. A week passes and we go on our first date to the movies. Weeks pass and this man is my best friend. He is the sweetest thing I have ever encountered. I would move heaven and earth for him because of how he treats me.

I love his smile and how he loves simple things. I could go on and on about his voice and how he loves music and how he thinks he is a gangster. 🥴🥴.

I found a good one

#live blogging #suggestion blog #book blog #blogs #agere blog #life is hard #living my best life #cute boys #you are loved #self love #love #loveit #goofymemes

[the-horrible-not-so-bad-lifeofme]

Hot girl summer 😈😈

Sooo, I'm not the type to completely go crazy. I'm a good girl. A homebody but after that boy broken heart something snapped in me. Like I didn't give a FUCCKK anymore.

I hung out with my people everyday. We did stupid shyt like bake some cookies or watch a movie. Gangster stuff. Nah fr I was out almost every night and I got into cars.

I love cars now. I went to shows and hung with the guys road a motorcycle for the first time. 2nd best summer of my life hands down.

And then I met a short little Mexican with an eyebrow piercing and a shiny copper sports car, and went crazy for this dude but all he wanted was a piece of ass....bummer he was really hot too.

I should have slept with all his friends but I'm not a hoe. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️. He makes some damn good tacos though.

[the-horrible-not-so-bad-lifeofme]

No, this is Patrick.

Aannndddd. I'm back with breaking news here to give you a few segments of the past few WONDERFUL months.......

After like...3 months of should crushing sadness 🥴 ya girl got back on track with working and even started exercising ..... yay me.

And then that all changed when one magical day, I got a live life. Oh yess, I went there.

I don't believe in "meant to be" but when I met this guy...wow our connection was weird. We could feel each others emotions.

But there was on problem........he had a girlfriend.

But then he broke up with said girlfriend 😈.

After we did the nasty. Lol. He turned out o be a complete player and a jerk. BUT he is my hands down best kiss ever.

If you're reading this....I fucking hate you you stupid son of a real bitch.

#writing #suggestion blog #book blog #agere blog #blogs #live blogging #blog post #living my best life #life is hard #my life #my diary #my dialogue #my dirty hobby #it back #follow back #backdrop #they think theyre funny #funnystuff #funny texts

[the-horrible-not-so-bad-lifeofme]

BBBIIITTCCHHH

I got the juice.

I got the tea.

So guess mf-ing WHAT!

So as some of you lovely people know that u work in food. We needed some help because ya girl was struggling running food, making dressings, cleaning dishes, and stuff like that by myself. So I was so excited for this new girl to start and I meet her.

He he. I meet her, and I like her. She is cool right.

Well...we start talking about like, and I start talking about my ex. (Smiles wide).

Guess who this bitch is.

My ex bf's ex girlfriend's little sister. (Raises eyesbrows) yes bitch you heard me

I didn't have a problem with that at all. It what she said next that got me.

APPARENTLYyyyyyyyy, my ex (at the time bf) was hanging outside his ex classroom in a building he didn't go to.

I look at this girl like, hhmmm she would lie to me, she didnt even know who I was a moment ago. You know?

So I asked him, and he goes there because his dude friend speaks with one of his professors. I believe that because I have been with a few times.

And then!!!! AND THEEEENNN.

The next day.

My bf's ex sends him 2. Not one but 2. Friends request.

May I inform you that this woman is married and has a son who is about 3. And she got married a month after her and my bf broke up. He he. Yeah.

But then she messages him with a complete load...of trash.

"Ooohhh I've been wanting to say this for a long time. I wanna go to church for my son. I didn't go because of self righteousness and my remorse towards your mom."

Girl you haven't talked to him in FIVE years. 5. Go to church he don't care no one does. Go.

Proceed with your life and faith. Nothing should shake you from that. Nothing!!

#living my best life #godisgood #church #all extra #diary #the struggle continues #the struggle is so damn real #imma fight #these people #i cant handle them #they think theyre funny #excuses

[the-horrible-not-so-bad-lifeofme]

I know I've been depressing.

Nothing is going right...... I'm sorry I seem like a raisin.

Me and my boyfriend are done done. We just feel nothing. Him more than me, but I'm excited for whoever is going to come into my life next because I know they will love me more.

I have a good job but crappy pay.

My book is all but nonexistent. I can not write at all.

I feel.....empty.

And....well ....... idk. I'm trying.

At least I have God.

#life is hard #godisgood #struggling #praying #goodvibes

[the-horrible-not-so-bad-lifeofme]

I'm Jill.

You know jack and jill right?? Jack fell down and jill came tumbling after?? Yeah well that's me. I'm jill.

I was soo worried about other people that, well, I hurt myself trying to help others.

I am jill.

I'm at the bottom of the hill all cut up running after someone who can't even help themselves let alone me.

But I'm learning.

#positivity #positivevibes #positivethinking #helpingothers #toxic people #toxicity #learning #i have a long way to go #godisgood #godislove #spilled thoughts #thoughts #blogs

[the-horrible-not-so-bad-lifeofme]

[the-horrible-not-so-bad-lifeofme]

I made the bed before I left

Yes I made the bed we slept in before I walk out completely.

I hope you know how much you meant to me, even though you left a mess on the floor for me to pick up.

I won't.

But I made the bed for you. So it's not too bad when I'm gone.

Good luck finding the things you've lost and figuring out the new by yourself.

Don't worry about me. I will be fine. I just need to take a deep breath or a few and try my best not to cry, but even if I did, nothing would come out. I've used up all of my tears.

I must cut the last 2 years from my mind.

I must cut the heavy bonds with your loved ones. They will probably talk about me like I was the one who carried the shovel anyway.

I can already hear it: "She was never good enough for you anyway." All because I wasn't a keeper I was a team player. They wear two faces anyway.

But maybe I did have a shovel. I was trying to fill up the hole you kept digging. My handsbleed with the effort. My eyes blurry. My throat stinging because I keep shouting; "why do you keep doing this?" And the farther down you get the less you seem to hear me.

So here I am. Watching you grow away from me. Uncaring, cold, and unwilling.

But this time I won't come back when I say I will leave. My own strength is important.

So my last effort is to make the bed.

Too bad you won't even notice.

#heartbreak #lonley #heart #im sad #the end #boyfriend #you are not alone #you are loved #you are me #you are enough #deep breath #dear diary #diary #photo diary #my diary

[the-horrible-not-so-bad-lifeofme]

“Six months of being away has made some of my feelings for you die down. But, I think a part of me will always love you. Even though I will never say it to you for many reasons, I can’t deny the fact that you were my first love. You were the one that made me realize that I was not the person who I thought I was. And for that, thank you.”

—

[the-horrible-not-so-bad-lifeofme]

Home doesn't feel like home anymore.

Man....what a weekend.

A beautiful fantastic weekend.

A perfect one.

I grew up secluded from my family. In the woods. Basically alone. Like a small family of hermits. But...

My Titi (aunt) had her 70th birthday party this weekend and man, that woman can throw them back. She had me looking like I was a beginner.

But, I haven't felt more comfortable and loved around another group of people. I was dancing and singing...out loud. My one cousin stayed by my side most of the trip, I felt so loved.

My cousins are amazing. I have so many.

But now that I am back... my heart stayed with them and now I feel like I don't belong anywhere that they are not. I can't wait to have to opportunity to move and be surrounded by them all the time.

Until next time.

#family #familia #primos #birthday #party #i went to a party #wildflower #love #love quotes #self love #free #being yourself

[the-horrible-not-so-bad-lifeofme]

I will forever love simple, domestic things let’s bake together, go grocery shopping, drive around, just spend time together

[the-horrible-not-so-bad-lifeofme]

When you read the last page of a book that has emotionally scarred you.

[the-horrible-not-so-bad-lifeofme]

The dictator at my job.

This is for my day time assistant manager.

Everyday, I slave away.

Hoping you will have smiles.

But while I work

You get hurt

And leave me hate notes by the pile.

"The ketchups are not cleaned

The bathrooms are disgusting."

But! Roll back that tape Hon

You'll see me not resting.

Not a day goes by

Where you don't pick

Not a task on my list

You do don't miss

So place you lips upon my rear

And shove those notes

Where they will disappear

I'll wait for your letter next time.

Until then I wait while you whine

#poetry #life pro tips #living my best life #food life

[the-horrible-not-so-bad-lifeofme]

😭😭😭 if you suffer from this illness contact your local doctor.

me: okay time to jump into the action scene

me: don’t say it

me: don’t say it

me: don’t say it

me: don’t say it

me: don’t say it

me: don’t say it

me: don’t say it

me: don’t say it

me: … “SUDDENLY”

#my writing #writing #life pro tips

[the-horrible-not-so-bad-lifeofme]

“Live your life by a compass, not a clock.”

— Stephen Covey

[the-horrible-not-so-bad-lifeofme]

I wished my dog was this small still. I miss him being a baby. 😭😭😭. Is this what motherhood feels like??

#cutiepie #what a cutie #animals #my dog #doglover #fur baby #why am i like this #puppylove #they grow up so fast #stop growing up

[the-horrible-not-so-bad-lifeofme]

You can't make someone do something they don't want to.

Everything in life... is a choice.

Everything.

So when I don't want your sloppy kisses, or your crushing hugs, or to lay down with you....don't make me.

You feel rejected when I don't want these things, I'm sorry... but I have a choice. I shouldn't be punished for something I don't want.

#life pro tips #dont mind me #i will go down with this ship #shank #couple