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yousta · 4 months

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(Sigh) I know I don't normally make posts that express my raw thoughts but I'd really like to start talking more personal. So this is my first attempt.

I'd like to say hello to members of the obsessive love, IRL yandere/lovesick community. I'm like hyper-fixated on you guys as I feel like I can empathize with so many, which was a unique experience for me.

If you've posted in the last couple months chances are I've probably went through your account. That's how I met my girlfriend, I know you're reading, Hiii honey bunny I love you so much.

Sure I have my own defined idea of the concept and what I like about it like everyone else does I'm sure. I'm sometimes selective with what I'll interact with. Which is part of what I wanted to talk to you about today. What I personally see, the good the bad the ugly, just the whole thing.

I'll start with the potential...

In my life, I isolated myself for many years because I couldn't find anyone who wanted to pay attention to me long enough to understand me, let alone care enough to actually love me. Which I more or less assumed was a trend of people identifying as lovesick, no one will know what you need better than yourself after all.

Obsessive love is making a point of love being a major focus in your life. Which is great you would think, until the rest of the world sees you as just another fish in the sea. They wouldn't recognize you for it as anything real, because not many people value upfront love. Everyone excepts liars and cheaters because that's all people seem to do without intention.

The act of being needy isn't attractive, it's why not everyone's giving money to a homeless person you have no connection to. Well I wanted to take a moment and say this is not that for me.

I read you guys everyday, I'm convinced a lot of you are seemingly inherently obsessive about a lot of the things you do, because given the platform you communicate yourself so coherently, so open and in touch with what you know you need. To the point when I first started reading people here. I was confused, feeling like I knew them even though it was parasocial.

Well that's because I relate to your struggle better than my own irl friends in those ways. I just wanted to say you're my favorite fish. I know I could never give you that love you desire as I'm taken, but I really want to extend the offer of friendship to each and every one of you, because I want to create a place for you to be recognized for all the love you've given. It may be platonic but I love you as the light of this world.

Of course nothing is all sunshine and rainbows.

There's people who'd intentionally ignore the warning signs or have such low self awareness, they won't or can't see what they're representing certainly has the potential to be or become toxic. Whether if it's for yourself or others.

Possessing but recognizing violent thoughts as intrusive is one thing, but identifying yourself by having those thoughts. I can't help but to acknowledge how you're building yourself up, creating momentum in a direction I don't think you or anyone truly wants. My question to you is why?

Hopefully you're just being very far removed from your words and the reality of you're saying, hopefully you're too deep into some strange character or persona you've invented and can separate yourself from it. Yet it seems to me that this is not always the case... Some members of the community are really struggling.

I mean I understand, people I knew growing up didn't have any real defined idea about love or stepped with any firm intention. So I understand why something like you see in these yan tropes could be appealing.

I grew up in a city where everyone is really cold to one another. Honestly I've lived here all my life and never felt like I truly know or trust anyone. Which when I was younger lead to a lot of moments I lacked insight I needed, to get my desired out come. I don't think you're barking up the wrong tree entirely however.

Which is why with this post and in future ones. I really want to help you guys with some general advice to set your intention, get your perspective and mindset right for loving in this style. I think I'd be a good person to ask, as I'm currently very sucuessful and happy in my current relationship. If any of you ever need to talk more personally though, my DMs are open for anyone who needs to vent.

#lovesick #actually obsessive #obslove #obsessive love #yandere #irl yandere #i love you #yandere community #yousta thoughts

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your-thorn · 9 months

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I realize I haven't introduced my self...

Loading ● ● ●

->[Intro]- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In my empty halls, you may call me Thorn.

•I'm 23, an eldritch horror (Any pronouns accepted. You literally can't offend me by calling me it, she, he, ancient one, etc)

->[Relationship Status]-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

•Taken and committed (Boyfriend)-> @yousta (celebrating 8 months thus far)

[Load More?]

[Y / N]

->[Booting Network Errors](う♡と)-_-_-_-_-

▪︎For everyone's benefit:

•I have mental illness beyond my obsession, but it is too difficult to put a name on for a self diagnosis. [Most likely Psychotic/invisible illness] this effects how I interact.

MBTI->[INTP-t]... "Logician"

>[No errors found]<

->[Occult] -_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

I worship certain spirits that I have been obsessed with for over 6 years. I practice shamanism, demonolatry, general esoteric practices, and I DON'T practice witchcraft.

I have a variety of relationships with them, usually communicative.

Spirits I main: Lucifer, Belial, Asmodeus, Stolas, Beleth, my dead pets, occasional horrors, nameless angels

Side spirits: Kali, Ares, Allah (will add more as I remember them)

->[Detail]- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

!Minors, please be smart, don't flirt or seek relationships with weirdos online. You will be ignored if this is what you seek!

★If you have questions, please ask. I'd never shy away an inquisitive soul. Don't ask for anything romantic. Prepare to be blocked if you ignore.

♠︎Don't like my behavior? Simple. Block me.

♣︎Now... I don't tolerate any form of hate that is overall harmful. Use your common sense, be careful and deliberate with your words and don't hide behind excuses, I know I will.

♥︎The sacrifices are free to use as gifts to others. If you find someone deliberately using my work as their own, tell me.

Tags:

♡Prince♡<- Written notions for my boo/ reaction things

◇Pulled Thorn◇<- asks

Sacrificial writing<- what I give to the spirits, gods, now my boo as well.

Thorn.exe is thinking<- thoughts, or a diary entry.

♠︎Thorn's Resources♠︎<- tools and resources for our small community of obsessed lovers.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

A combination of these last three images will give you a good idea of I look and act in real life.

Do with this as you will.

#introductory post #sacrificial writing #◇pulled thorn◇#♡prince♡#thorn.exe is thinking

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yousta · 4 months

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youtube

#yousta music #yousta thoughts #lila lyrics #Youtube

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yousta · 5 months

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You look cute through your window.

Awake and aware when I stare at perfection

Desperately yearning for our soul's connection, and not another "love lesson"

Obsessing over such a blessing. Love and care aren't depressing. Daydreams of soft hair caressing.

There in the cold air, in the all-black I wear. Where it's free to stare. I'm reminded how no one else could compare. How I stumble into such a hopeless nightmare. Where you're not there and the given care isn't fair.

My mind is racing, for you I've been behaving but now I'm bathing in the craving.

A bookbag, with bleach and alcohol-laced in a rag. 22 bullets in the mag.

No one could stop me now

#lovesick #i love you #yandere #actually obsessive #actually yandere #yandere vent #yandere coping #irl yandere #yousta #yanblr #yandere boy #yancore #yandere community #yandere thoughts #obsessive love #obsessive

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yousta · 4 months

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Waking up beside her through dawn. I yawn, wondering what planet I'm on, cause I'm gone. So far removed from the same old song.

Found where I belong, we're mutually drawn. The adoring was pouring at 7 o'clock in the morning. No alarms. Just sweet soft spoken charms, "I would die in your arms."

No mistaking, she's not faking, and the love has me shaking I love what you bring, I love how you cling, Yes you're the sweetest thing.

Success? Yes! I woke up and did my best! Took out my ex's heart out my chest. Caught up on my rest, and I'm feeling expressed! It was worth the wait, to see her eyes dilate.

To you and a past me. Someday you'll relate, and you'll learn to move the weight you place, live to see heaven on their face.

Oh I know how you've tried, you've tried and tried, but if right now you can decide you're satisfied. No regrets after being denied, well that'd make anyone's eyes wide, cause all of them never replied. Never recognized what was inside, was a place to confide.

My memory never let it go after your blood dried, it's something to cry about, and I've cried at the thought of your suic!de. Your heart I couldn't hide, my heart you couldn't hide. No one by our side.

Lost my appetite, couldn't sleep, didn't eat for a week. I write, "who knows how it goes?". So starved, the cold night hammered nails in the joints of my fingers and toes.

No bright blinding light, or tunnels to gates of white. Nothing made it seem like it'd ever be alright, somehow we hung on tight. Thank goodness we did cause here it's alright. and someday. It might all decay,

but by the end of this arc, when their souls embark. We'll follow them straight through the dark. Live to make that spark from their heart. I promise it'll make the purest art.

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