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peonybane · 3 years

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Beyond the Veil: Part 1

Pairing: Choi Youngjae (GOT7) x Psychopomp!Reader

Word Count: 8.3 k

Genre: Fantasy, Fluff, Angst, Psychopomp AU, Doctor AU

Warnings: Mentions and depictions of death (I don’t know how to word this as… this is a story about a Grim Reaper), Pining (so much pining)

Summary: Life is a gift. Every Spirit of Death knew this. They weren’t allowed to touch Life — weren’t allowed to experience it. Every once in a while they can, the unspoken rule being that Death can only fall in love once with Life. And never again.

Author’s Note: Thank you to everyone for your patience with me on this. Especially since this was suppose to be a one-shot and I’ve learn my lesson that it is not. Thank you to the platonic love of my life, @ropeseok for putting up with me through this whole process.

If you’d like to notified/tagged when PART 2 comes out, please reblog this part!

White. Sterile. The overwhelming use of anti-septic burned your nose slightly. A hospital. Here you were again. You practically lived here. Though, you supposed there was worse places you could end up as a Spirit of Death. You could’ve ended up like some of your brethren, always seeming to be summoned to battlefields. Or worse….

You shook the thought from your head. No, things could be far worse. Besides, Death was inevitable. No one could run from it. No one could fight it… not really. It was just a matter of how each soul would meet their escort.

You wandered the halls, the humans not noticing you at all. Looking down, you watched as the threads of your dress — thin, wispy grey tendrils, really — swayed and snaked around you, eventually fading away into nothing as they connected to the souls that you’d eventually escort, all varying shades of grey. One of the threads pulsed and darkened — this was the reason why you were here today — you were here to escort a soul.

Wandering around the hospital, you kept an eye on the thread — you had some time before you had to collect the soul. No need to rush being a voyeur to pain and grief.

Instead, you wandered over to the ward that was your secret pleasure: the maternity ward.

Babies were… fascinating to you. After all, most of those you interacted with were the aged and sick. You dealt with the inevitable. But birth… birth was practically magic to you. Despite the tales told by humans, your kind was not omnipotent — you just knew a few more certainties than humans did. But birth… was the greatest mystery of all….

It was the greatest forbidden fruit.

But more than just the babies, you came to this ward for a particular reason: Dr. Choi.

You nearly missed him — his back facing towards you, the white lab coat obstructing his figure before he turned at the last moment. He was excusing himself from a patient’s room, just down the hall from you. You probably would have missed him entirely if it wasn’t for his laugh. The place where you should’ve had a heart gave a small pitter patter when you saw him. He was… so full of life. The dedication he had for his patients. His zest for life. His laugh. He fascinated you in ways you never knew was possible.

He still made you feel the way you had the first time you saw him.

You got lost, actually, ending up in the wrong operating room. As an OB/GYN surgeon, he was skilled as he performed a c-section. What fascinated you was that as he was performing the operation, he kept speaking to the mother, reassuring her of how well she was doing. Even cracking a joke or two when he realized she was starting to freak out.

You were so distracted in that moment, you almost missed getting the soul you needed to retrieve, lest their soul wander free and reek havoc, haunting the world as they looked for their bodies or searched for the Forest.

Dr. Choi (you’d yet to hear his first name, you didn’t want to, you didn’t want to get too attached) adjusted his sterile blue scrubs before he made his way towards his office. You were tempted to follow him, just to watch him from afar… just like you always had.

“If you stare at him any harder, you’re going to set him on fire.”

You jumped at the sound of Jaebeom’s voice. “Dammit, Jaebeom! Don’t do that.”

You turned around, staring up into the dark eyes of Jaebeom, a named Spirit of Death — your brother in some sense. His shaggy, long black hair was pulled away from his face, showing off his piecing dark eyes. He smirked down at you, his stance utterly relaxed under his own Death Shroud, a duster jacket. On his shoulders, his Bombay feline familiar, Haneul, laid across his broad shoulders, her sleek, black fur almost disappearing under the blanket of Jaebeom’s own hair, her bright yellow eyes staring at you sleepily.

“Long time no see, little Morana.”

You rolled your eyes at him. You hated it when he called you that. Though to be fair… you didn’t have a name. None of the Spirits of Death did; instead — they’d take on a title of sorts, using names the humans made up if need be. The only way to have a Name, one that no one could take or abuse, was to live a Life.

A Life which Jaebeom lived to the fullest.

“It’s good to see you, Jaebeom.” You looked around. “Where’s the kittens?”

Jaebeom laughed. He reached into the deep pockets of his jacket and with withdrew his two other familiars, Yugyeom and Kunpimook. The older of the two, Kunpimook was lovingly called BamBam for all the trouble he caused as a lanky, white haired, green-eyed Oriental Shorthair. Yugyeom was a giant, blue eyed, fluffy, grey Maine Coon. Both of them looked at you, almost angrily, having their naps disturbed.

You smiled as Jaebeom passed off Yugyeom to you, the big boy immediately purring into your arms. Jaebeom smiled as he cuddled BamBam in his own arms. “He missed you.”

You smiled a little. You couldn’t hear Jaebeom’s familiars. Only he could. His mind was connected to theirs, their bond cemented when the foursome was human.

“I can tell.”

Everything was silent for a moment. Even the sound of nurses wandering around the ward seemed to have quieted down for a moment. You hadn’t seen Jaebeom for a while. Not since he came back from living amongst humans. You, Jaebeom, and Haneul were inseparable for the first few years after Haneul died, helping Jaebeom return to his previous duties as a Spirit of Death.

“What are you doing here, Jaebeom?”

Jaebeom practically bristled. Well, Haneul did anyways. “It’s your 1,500th year, right?”

You sighed. Of course. That was why he was here.

Yugyeom nuzzled further into your touch, smushing his face into the crook of your arm. Jaebeom continued. “I just... I heard that you were thinking about not accepting Hermes’ gift for once. You’ve always accept his gift before. Do — Do you want to talk about it?”

Sighing, you looked away from Jaebeom, no longer able to meet his gaze. He leaned down to be eye level with you. Haneul pushed off his broad shoulder a little to head butt you to get your attention. “Do you want to talk about him?”

You scoffed. “I’m not in love.”

“Could have fooled me. Besides, I never mentioned anything about love.”

Biting your lower lip, you asked, “Am I actually in love with him? Or do I just want what you have and see him as a means to an end? Either way — I shouldn’t tempt Fate.”

He was silent as he thought about it. “Only you can answer that. But I would give him a chance, either way. I wasn’t sure if I was truly in love with Haneul. But I trusted my instincts. How could I not take a chance when I couldn’t take my eyes off her? How could I not want her with me forever from the moment her gaze fell upon me? Not through me.”

His voice grew softer as he continued. “Our existence is a lonely one. Do you know why Hermes lets us live as humans for just one day every 500 years? Or why we’re allowed to live amongst them for a single lifetime?”

Swallowing, you shook your head. In comparisons to Jaebeom, you were practically a baby. Hermes was distant. He didn’t interact with his… children too much anymore.

Jaebeom stroked your hair, his gaze growing soft and tender. “Because he wants his children to have what he never could: to experience Life. To find companionship. There are nearly a million of us. But each of us is alone; our existence just an inevitable truth. A kindness. A tragic truth. We are alone, even when we’re together. But a lifetime with humans — the memories are fulfilling. We can fall in love —“

Haneul nuzzled Jaebeom, purring. In Life, they were married. For a moment, you wondered if their souls (or at least whatever your kind had) were entwined from the beginning of time. “— We can have a family.”

His gaze fell to the cats happily snoozing in both of your arms. In Life, they were Jaebeom and Haneul’s adopted sons, Jaebeom never being able to father any.

“Please… talk to me. Out of all our nameless brothers and sisters, I worry about you the most.”

Sniffling, you wiped the tears threatening to fall from your eyes, nearly dropping Yugyeom in the process. “I — I don’t want to condemn him. Like you said, our existence is a lonely one. And — And he’s just so full of Life. How could I surround him by death? Human always see us as a horribly dark thing.”

Jaebeom kissed your forehead. “Don’t make that decision for him. Let him choose.”

You opened your mouth to reply, to argue, then you felt the pull.

It was time.

It was time to collect the soul.

As if sensing it, Jaebeom took Yugyeom from your arms again, cradling the two overgrown kittens like babies. Your dress slowly started to change. From the simple dress, your Death Shroud changed into that of a military uniform, the grey threads unweaved themselves then reweaved, forming the new garment as it paled, turning white. Like it always did when it was time to guide a soul.

You no longer felt your body change — you had long since lost interest in the change. Your form changed to whatever the soul needed from you to find comfort. Sometimes it was just your face. Other times you might physically regress back to the form of a child, making the tragic loss a little less painful. At times, you might have ‘aged,’ providing comfort in being a quiet companion in their final stroll. And on rare occasions, your sex would change — a moment of familiarity or perhaps even safety, a small reassurance that everything would be ok — that you were nothing like the monsters they were finally escaping.

Glancing up, or rather, to, Jaebeom, your gaze no longer turned upward to meet his piercing eyes. Ah, probably meant you either resembled someone much taller than you’d normally stand, or your apparent sex had changed.

Looking you over, Jaebeom gave you a solemn nod. “Whatever you choose, little one….”

“I know,” sounding the same to your own ears, but probably vastly different to Jaebeom’s as his eyes widened slightly.

You gave him a casual salute before walking off in the direction of the soul you needed to collect. Glancing around, you tried to catch another glimpse of Dr. Choi. But he was nowhere to be seen. You let out a small sigh, disappointed before you headed towards the intensive care ward.

You phased through various walls until you found yourself in the right place. You could practically smell his soul becoming weaker and weaker. Your gaze following the thread that led from your Shroud, the thread this time at your left wrist, to his right hand, having wrapped around it along his life line.

There, in a hospital bed, laid an old man on a ventilator, his wife sitting next to him, her hand clutching his. His heartbeat grew slower, his eyes glassy. Slowly, you joined the two of them as you stood to the opposite side of the bed of his wife. He let out an exhale as his eyes focused in on you, finally seeing you.

It was time.

Leaning forward, you pressed your lips to his forehead. He took his last breath, his eyes falling closed. The heart rate monitor flat lined; his wife began to sob.

As you pulled away, you grasped his now lifeless hands, gently coaxing his soul from his body. Standing before you was not the withered, old man that laid in the bed. No, instead, it was a man in his prime, adorned in a perfectly maintained uniform and various medals on his chest.

You smiled at him. “On your feet, Captain. It’s time for your next mission.”

He looked around, dazed. He seemed solid enough. At least until he reached out to touch his wife, his hand going right through her. Staring at his hand, he asking you, shakily, “Am I dead?”

Gently, you replied, “Yes,” taking his hands in yours.

His eyes grew large. You squeezed his hands, trying to help him keep calm. “What… What about my wife?”

You glanced over to the woman, still weeping for the loss of her husband as a nurse entered the room. You were not her guide. You didn’t know when exactly when she’d die. But you could tell… she had a few years left in her.

“Do you have children? Grandchildren?”

He nodded. “Three daughters. Four grandbabies with two more on the way.”

You smiled at him. “She’ll be ok. As long as she has them, the rest of her life will be good. Even as she misses you. But you’ll be together soon. You just have to wait for her on the other side.”

He nodded again, slowly. He let go of your hands, turning back towards his wife. He leaned over and did the best he could, kissing her forehead. He whispered, “I love you, yeobo. I’ll wait for you.”

Turning back towards you, stood at attention, saluting you. In turn, you returned the gesture. “Shall we go, Captain?”

“Yes.”

You nodded. At your hip, you reached for your Sickle. Instead of the small, practical instrument that usually hung at your hip, it too had transformed to accompany your Shroud. At your hip was a ceremonial saber. How appropriate, you couldn’t help but think.

Unsheathing it, you admired its elegance. A small part of you wished your Sickle could have been a sword or a saber. Perhaps then humans wouldn’t fear a monstrosity of a sickle, fearful of it taking their souls by force. Taking a deep breath (despite not really needing one) you swung it in front of you, it’s blade cutting through space and time, opening a hole to the Forest.

The portal expanded, the edges shimmering as you sheathed the saber once more. You held your hand out again for him. “Come.”

As he took your hand, almost hesitantly, you led him through.

The Forest. Or, at least, that’s what you called it. Like everything else, it was nameless. But it had to be called something. Some called it Eden. Shangri-La. Arcadia. Xanadu. Yomi. Purgatory.

So many different names… and yet none of them quite correct. Perhaps the closest was Axis Mundi— where Life and the Afterlife met.

Your charge looked around the Forest in wonder as you closed the portal. You were surrounded by giant trees — trees that were sturdy even before Hermes began his sacred duty. In their bark was inscribed with uncountable names, each one belonging to a single soul that’s passed over. Their large leaves overhead provided ample shade, creating the illusion that there was a blue sky and shining sun above you. But there was nothing. It was just an endless void up there.

But that didn’t matter.

Not with the thousands of flowers blooming at your feet and the countless tendrils of ivy and moss dancing across the multitude of trees. Between the trees, you’d sometimes catch glimpses of other psychpomps out of the corner of your eye, finding themselves in comfortable silence with their familiars — whether as beasts or as humans. Wind rustled the leaves above, creating a sweet, comforting melody as it engulfed you in the familiar, loving smell of the flowers that were in eternal bloom. But there was no chattering of squirrels or the jubilant song of a bird, just the sound of leaves rustling and the bubbling of the creek up ahead.

No.

This was no place for them. This was no place for the living — no matter their form.

Your charge turned back to you. “Is — Is this Heaven?”

Smiling, you shook your head. So, he was the hopeful type. “No. This is only the threshold between your Life and what comes after this. Come.”

He followed behind you as you led the way down a very well worn path, the grass and flowers long gone. Even the top soil had been eroded away, leaving an almost polished alabaster stone path exposed. You led him down the path towards a creek, a bridge, born from the over grown roots of many trees, running over it.

“What… What is this?”

“Like this Forest and me, it has no name. But, I suppose humans would think of it as something like the River Styx. It’s a threshold into the Afterlife.”

His voice was strained as he looked between you and the bridge. “What — What comes next?”

You sighed, gazing at him in sympathy. You hated this question. “I don’t know.”

His anger fueled gazed turned its wrath upon you as he cried, “What do you mean you don’t know?!”

“I’m a Spirit of Death. I am bound forever to this plane, this side of the threshold between Life and what comes next. I cannot ever know what is beyond this point. But, I can tell you that you will not cease to exist. There is something after this. I just don’t know what it is.”

He seemed to have calmed down a bit. “Can I wait for my wife?”

You shook your head. “If you wait here, your soul will become restless. You’ll forget who you are. You’ll wreak havoc not only here, but also in the human world. You’ll be condemned to wander for eternity until one of my kind must Reap your soul.”

He glanced at the saber at your hip, understanding your meaning. “And your wife will not have you with her.”

He swallowed, absorbing what you’re saying. “So… do I just crossover? And that’s it?”

You smiled at him, nodding. “Yes. I’ve heard that supposedly, someone will be on the other side of the creek to greet you.”

He saluted you, one final time before he headed for the bridge. You stood there, watching him as he found his footing on the bridge. Your Shroud and Sickle slowly returned to their natural form, your body shifting as well back to its natural state.

As he walked further and further away, he began to glow, his luminosity increasing, a light that almost rivaled the sun until… he disappeared. The thread of your Shroud connecting you to him snapped, the sound as sudden and as loud as thunder. It took you awhile, but you at least no longer jumped at the sound.

Walking forward, you reached your hand out towards the bridge. You stopped just short of it, your hand shaking as you slowly tried to cross over that threshold, muscle memory reminding you that this wasn’t a good idea. And just as it had the few dozen thousand times before, the barrier zapped you, forcing you to retract your hand. You hissed, holding onto your slightly burnt fingertip as you glared at the barrier that now shimmered and rippled.

“I see you still haven’t learnt your lesson.”

You jumped, turning to face Hermes. He stood before you, intimidating and beautiful as always, this form suiting him well… even if the sight of him set you on edge.

Ebony skin glowed, a stark contrast to his billowy white cloak. His hood framed his lovely face as he looked down at you, almost making him appear angelic. And in a way, he was. At least in the sense that humans would think of him. It instead set you on edge when he changed his form to be… more ‘approachable.’ Like everything else here, he had no name — instead choosing to take on various mythical mantles: Hermes, Azrael, the Grim, Charon, Anubis, and so many others. You knew him as Hermes.

From his back emerged a pair of large, iridescent, black wings, the feathers fluttering with the wind. You couldn’t help but notice how a couple of the feathers were barely hanging on, signally that once they’d fall from his wings, new Spirits of Death would rise from them.

Bowing your head, you said, “No, Lord Hermes. But I want to answer their question. Almost all of them ask me the same thing over and over again.”

His deep voice rumbled, “And I wish I could give you that answer. But I cannot. I do not know what lies beyond the Veil. And we will never know.”

You nodded in understanding. The same answer… as always. He continued, “I heard that you do not want to accept my gift. Why is that?”

You cringed. You completely forgot about that. Silent, you hesitated to answer.

He sighed. “What are you afraid of? Is it answering the question of what comes next? Are you afraid of rejection? Are you afraid to Live?”

You shot him a glare. You hated this. Hated that he knew. Hated the fact that Hermes was connected to all of you, knowing your deepest, darkest secrets. All because he shed you as a Feather.

He smirked at you, crossing his arms across his chest. “Ah… I see. You’re afraid to Live.”

You hissed back, “I can’t live! I was never alive to begin with.”

“You are very much alive, my child. You just have to go and discover it.” He waved his hand, a gust of wind spiraled around you. Instinct took over, raising your arms to shield your face from the cyclone of wind and leaves. But still, you glared daggers at Hermes as he took away your choice once more.

Irony dripped from his lips as he muttered, “Happy Birthday.”

—~—~—~—

The sky was still dark in Seoul. The sun hasn’t risen yet. But you could see the sky taking on intense shades of blue and grey — the world quiet and still outside of the temple you found yourself in.

With a groan, you stood up from the cold wooden floor, goosebumps rising on your skin uncontrollably. You shivered. At least when you weren’t masquerading as human temperature never bothered you.

“Ahh. I thought her vision didn’t sound quite right. I’ll go get you a different set of clothes.”

Turning around, you came face to face with the caretaker of the temple, a young priest. Slightly bowed, his obsidian black hair barely hid the darting of his eyes, looking everywhere but you. He was dressed in a simple, traditional hanbok as he stood there, a pile of red clothes in his arms.

Ahh…. A seer must have mistaken you for some other kind of spirit. Some sort of Pyro or Asmod if the colors and style were anything to go by.

The priest continued to look everywhere but you. You tilted your head in curiosity before you remembered — oh, humans and their modesty. Glancing down at yourself, you noted breasts and the small patch of hair upon your mons pubis. Oh, good. At least this time you’re in your preferred form it seems.

Clearing your throat, you said, “Thank you, Priest — ?”

“Jinyoung. Park Jinyoung.”

You smiled at him, covering up yourself as much as possible, for his sake. You didn’t particularly care. “Thank you, Jinyoung-ie. And yes,” You glanced at the clothes he held tightly in his hands. “I would like a different set of clothes.”

He gave you a curt nod before scurrying off to get you something more appropriate.

You sighed.

24 hours. 24 hours of being human. The last time you were human… you were in Venice. Boy was that an interesting time with the Renaissance and all. Had… had it really been that long?

There was a knock on the door. This time it was a girl’s voice. “Grim? I’ve brought you your clothes. I’d also like to apologize for the mistake in my vision.”

Grim. Out of all the things humans called your kind… it wasn’t the kindest… nor the most horrendous.

“Come in.”

The door opened and a girl entered, her gaze was to the ground as she held a bundle of light grey clothing. She looked young, perhaps no older than 20. Certainly not of the age to know exactly what she was seeing in her visions. She had no control of what she’d see. She would probably just be finishing learning how to identify various demons and spirits from her visions if you had to take a guess.

She knelt before you, laying the clothes on the ground before bowing. “My name is Chaewon. I’d like to apologize, Grim. It was my mistake that my brother brought you the wrong type of clothes.”

You picked up the bundle of clothing, starting to dress yourself. “There’s no need to apologize. You’re the youngest seer I’ve seen in a very long time. I’m curious though, what did you see?”

Chaewon looked down, her face flushed and she turned red all the way to her ears. Oh?

Her voice shook. “I... I saw a man. He was naked. His face covered in shadows. And he made,” she paused, turning even redder before she continued, “a noise. A very… happy noise.”

“Oh.”

You felt your own face heat.

You may have lived for well over a millennia, but you still had some sense of shame. Or at least hers made you hyperaware of your own. As you finished dressing, you replied, “In that case, I don’t blame you for thinking I was an Asmod. A vision like that… I don’t know if I would have chosen any differently.”

“But I should’ve —“

“How old are you?”

You knelt down in front of her, your simple cotton dress pooling slightly around you as you knelt to get down on Chaewon’s level. She finally looked you in the eye. A small thrill went through you — the Living never looked you in the eye.

“Seventeen.”

Just as you thought. “You’re young. Younger than I would have expected. Despite your age, you interpreted what you saw well. If you saw sex, anyone would assume that it were an Asmod or some other daemon.”

She did not look reassured. You continued. “Do you what my kind typical do on our one day amongst the Living?”

She quickly shook her head. You smirked a little.

“We wander. The one day we’re allowed to interact with the Living, we tend to do what we did before: observe. Perhaps, we’d join in on festivities. Perhaps, we spend the day at a park, watching children play. Perhaps, we play with them. But sex? Sex is not something we are particularly interested in. You interpreted correctly.”

She didn’t say anything, but you knew she understood — that she didn’t make a real mistake. She interpreted what she saw correctly. But what she saw… concerned you. Why? Why you would you have… sex? It was such a… human activity. Your kind, especially those who had yet to live a Lifetime, didn’t understand it. It wasn’t like you could reproduce, so it never really made sense to you.

Your quiet moment was broken by Jinyoung clearing his throat. You looked up at him, he had changed into ordinary clothes. “Grim? Please let me know where’d you like me to take you. I’ll take you anywhere in the city.”

Standing up, you nodded. “Thank you, Priest. Lead the way.”

You made your way past Chaewon, following the young priest down the hall. He brought you to an entryway, several cubicles lined up with shoes. He indicated for you to take a pair. As you sat down to slip on a pair of black, flat ankle boots, he rejoined you. When did he disappear?

In his hand, he held a bag. “These are for you, Grim. Inside you’ll find money and other amenities you’ll need.”

You took the bag from him, looking at the contents. “I’m surprised you’re able to give me this much. Especially since I’ll only be here a day.”

He shook his head. “The Guardian Spirit of this temple makes sure that when you return to the Veil, the things we gave you find their way back here in due time. There is no need to worry.”

Smiling, you nodded. You stood up, ready to follow him. Nodding, he lead you out to a car. It wasn’t the fanciest car in the world, certainly not one of those sports cars you never bothered learning about. But it looked well taken care of.

Jinyoung opened the passenger side door for you. You nodded to him in thanks as you slipped inside. After shutting your door, he quickly made his way to the driver’s side.

After a brief explanation on how and why you should be wearing a seatbelt (How were you suppose to know that, at the very least, you could get him in trouble if you didn’t wear one?), he drove you out of the temple.

“Where would you like me to take you?”

Biting your lip, you hesitated to answer. Did you want to see him? Or did you want to avoid him completely. Before you could completely think it through, you found yourself replying, “Jung-gu. Near the hospital.”

He made a small noise of confirmation, taking you towards the district.

—~—~—~—

The drive was longer than you had expected. Who knew Seoul traffic was so congested?

Glancing out the window, you caught a glimpse of yourself for the first time, nearly jumping out of your skin. Normally, you had no reflection. The rare times you’d ever see your own reflection would be if you caught a glimpse of it mirroring you in the creek back in the Forest. Staring at yourself in the passenger side mirror, you couldn’t help but touch your face, brow knit together in concentration.

“So it’s true then.”

The sound of Jinyoung’s voice made you jump. Phoenix farts, why were you so jumpy lately? Turning to him, you noted the smirk on his lips and figured that behind those sunglasses his eyes were full of mirth.

“Is what true?”

“That you don’t see your reflections.”

You swallowed. “Rarely. Very rarely. Even when we do… they’re not quite as… solid as they when we’re occasionally human.”

He made a small noise of understanding, turning his full attention back on the road. Outside of the car, for a brief moment, between the shadows of buildings, you caught a glimpse of the hospital. It was an unusual feeling, but your heart thundered in your chest. You couldn’t tell if you were excited or scared. A part of you wanted to beg Jinyoung to take you somewhere else in the city. Anywhere. But another part of you, the stronger part, wanted to be there, to be near him.

All too soon, Jinyoung pulled into a parking space. You struggled for a moment, thinking that just tugging on the seatbelt would set you free before putting two and two together that there was a button. Heat flared up in your cheeks out of embarrassment — such an unusual feeling, not one that you’re sure you’ll ever get used to, you don’t think. Stepping out of the car, you politely bowed, ready to walk away from Jinyoung.

It’s a shame really… even as a human you would have been able to see the thread wrapped around his hand, following the pattern of his life line if he was a soul you were to collect. You would have liked to speak to him once again.

“Saja-nim!”

You paused. There was one you hadn’t heard in a while. A rather polite one at that. “Yes, Priest?”

His gaze was almost painful as he looked you in the eye. It was unnerving really — having someone looking directly at you like this. With utter certainty, as if he just knew, he cryptically said, “I look forward to speaking with you again.”

Before you could inquire further as to exactly what he meant, he reached across the passenger and pulled the car door shut and practically shot out of the parking space like a bat out of hell. What a weird priest.

Stepping away from the street, you took in your surroundings. The sun was out, filtering through the buildings of Seoul, this part of the city still relatively quiet though, still just early enough for most people to have not quite left home for work. It was peaceful. It was Life. And you could close your eyes, take a deep breath, and take it all in — truly take it in.

A piercing cry of “COCO-YAH!!!” broke your peace and quiet.

Turning towards the voice, you lost your footing as small white ball of fuzz on four legs bolted towards you, or rather, attempting to bolt past you. Attempting was the operative word. As you teetered backwards, sort of regaining your footing, the almost panicked ringing of a bicycle bell was the only warning you got before making eye contact with a startled bicyclist.

If you weren’t fighting instinct, perhaps you would have moved. But time and time against, you never had to worry about moving — danger would just move right through you.

But not now.

No, your brain had shut down in shock. Of course you would get hurt the one day you were human.

Before the cyclist could collide with you, you were harshly pulled out of his way. Instead of someone colliding into you… you were the one doing the colliding.

Foot catching on uneven cobblestone, your center of mass shifted, your body landing against a very warm, soft, yet very solid body, nearly taking him to the ground.

A sweet voice, one that sent shivers down you spine — one that you almost dreadfully recognized — asked, “Are you ok?”

Hesitantly, you looked up, holding your breath, trying to imprint this memory of his warm hold on you forever into your skin. When yours eyes met… you finally understood what Jaebeom was talking about.

You were absolutely and utterly fucked.

It was the moon-like face you’d seen from a distance more times than you could count. Except unlike the moon, he was close enough to worship with your lips if you tried. From afar you had always thought he was handsome, but up close, he was deadly — the combination of soft and sharp features were too tempting and dangerous.

Your eyes flicked for a moment to his lips, his breath faltering for a moment across your face before you dared to finally look him in the eye.

Definitely fucked. Hopeless fucked, really.

His eyes were gentle, in spite of their sharp, intense shape. So curious. So full of concern. And there was something else. You had seen it before, though you couldn’t place it where. All you knew was that you could get lost in those eyes… and happily so.

The spell was broken as his large wire-framed round glasses slowly slipped down the bridge of his nose. You pulled away from his hold, regaining your footing as you cleared your throat, hoping to buy another moment to clear your mind. Get a hold of yourself, you said you wouldn’t get involved with him. But, oh, the thought was so very tempting.

Your voice cracked. “Ye — Yes. Thank you for catching me.”

He nodded, wiping his hands on his pants, almost unsure of himself. At your feet, a couple of small barks got your attention. The little white dog from earlier was at your feet, barking, her little tail wagging as she gazed up at Dr. Choi.

Dr. Choi exclaimed, “COCO-YAH!!!!!” as he picked up the little, almost contrary, cotton ball.

Lifting her up to eye level, he asked, “Yah! What was that for? I lose my grip on your leash for a moment to grab the mail and you just bolt? No! Don’t you try that sweet act on me, you spoilt, little princess.”

He sighed in defeat as she wagged her tail, tongue flicking out to lick his nose, his face scrunching up cutely in response. You couldn’t help but laugh as he brought her in close, coddling her even as he continued to look exasperatedly annoyed.

He turned his gaze back on you, his eyes soft as he took a moment to wet his lips. He held his hand out to you. “I’m Choi Youngjae. And this little, fluffy, white hell spawn is Coco.”

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck—

This was the last thing you needed. You swallowed, a poor attempt at controlling your breathing. You placed your hand in his.

“It’s nice to meet you.”

There was a pause for a moment before Youngjae — no — Dr. Choi (he had to stay as Dr. Choi), smiled gently at you. Bending at the hips, he lowered himself just enough so he could tilt his gaze up to look up at you, a small smile on his lips as he cutely asked, “And what is your name?”

The usual spike of anxiety that would come with this question never came. Instead, automatically, almost as if you had answer this questions hundreds of time like a human, you gave him a name.

Not Morana. Nor Saja. But an actual name. It was… your name.

He repeated it quietly to himself. It struck you like lightning. This must be the feeling Jaebeom told you about so many times but never understood.

For a moment it was silent between the two of you. You wanted this feeling to last, whatever it was. You had never known such an inner warmth. What you wouldn’t give to have him whisper your name once more.

Of course, Coco had to ruin the moment, having had enough. She started wriggling around in his hold, desperately wanting to be free to reek havoc like she had before. Dr. Choi sighed, bending down further to place her back on the ground. A firm hold on the leash this time.

As he straightened up, he looked at you shyly from behind his glasses. “So, umm, where are you from? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around here before?”

You swallowed. Never in a million years would you have thought you’d have to answer such a simple question.

You blurted out, “Visting! Umm, just for the day.”

“Well, umm, I guess I should let you get back to it then. I’m sure you must have plans.”

He went to turn, his shoulders slumping. “No!”

Dr. Choi turned back to you, eyes wide and eyebrow raised at your outburst. More calming you repeated, “No. Umm, actually, I don’t have plans. Despite wanting to come here for a while now….” You laughed out your response, “I have no idea what I’m going to do now that I’m here.”

A moment of clarity graced his features before the brightest smile you had ever seen revealed itself.

“In that case, how would you like a local to show you around?”

A smile found its way onto your lips. “I’d like that very much.”

He offered you his hand. You hesitated, glancing between the soft and dexterous hand and his hopeful face. “I know a great dog friendly cafe near by if you’d like to join me.”

You found yourself squeaking out a reply, barely above a whisper, “I’d love to.”

You placed your hand in his and for a moment, you swore sparks flew. His palm was warm, a stark contrast to your own chilly one. Dr. Choi gave a small laugh. You glanced up to him, brows knit. He licked his lips almost nervously before he shyly replied, “It’s just something my mother used to tell me: the kindest, most caring people are so worried about everyone else that they don’t even notice when their hands are cold.”

For some reason… him just saying that… it created a pressure in your chest, an almost overwhelming feeling, as if you were a pitcher ready to overflow with emotion. It was… it was gentlest thing anyone had ever said to you.

You felt the tears threatening to overflow, but you kept them hidden. After all, why would anyone cry at that?

All you could do was purse your lips as you look down at the ground, half-heartedly nodding your head, hoping that it was enough to hide the emotion threaten to escape. If Dr. Choi noticed, he didn’t say anything. He simply made a hum of acknowledgement, squeezing your hand before gently tugging you to an unspecified direction.

Little Coco couldn’t seem to make up her mind on whether or not she wanted to be carried or to lead the charge. Either way, Youngj — Dr. Choi — seemed to give in to her each time, never letting go of your hand no matter what. Coco was in his arms when she realized where we were and she started swimming frantically in the air, barking excitedly.

You couldn’t help but giggle as Dr. Choi sighed in defeat, setting the little hellion on the ground as she tried to mush her way through the people trying to go about their lives as she focused in on one target: MeongMeong Cafe.

The little cafe was on the ground floor, almost tucked away between the buildings, the light pastels and sepia tones a strong contrast to the grey buildings around it. The sun rise hadn’t quite yet turned this part of the city golden, the tones still a cool blue, just waiting to be woken by the spell of the sun. But that little cafe, with its little picket fence surrounding a small area of grass and it’s sepia shingles waiting for the sun to bring them to life, was already bustling to life inside. The cafe owner you presumed, was running about inside, setting up tables for the day and placing bread in the display cases.

As you approached the cafe, through the window, you saw the cafe owner look up, a look of surprise graced his features before a gummy smile took over as he opened the front door to the three of you. “Youngjae-yah!! Coco-ssi!! Welcome back!”

Dr. Choi returned the warm greeting, letting go of hand for a moment to wave at him, leaving your hand almost unbearably cold. “Hello, Mark-hyung! How’s it’s going?”

Coco’s barks suddenly came more rapidly as she pulled Dr. Choi after her even harder as a small (but most definitely larger than Coco), white poodle looked around the corner of the door. The shop owner, Mark, muttered something as he looked down at the dog at his feet, prompting the dog to sit down at him feet, its little paws tapping in excitement as it sat there.

Mark shook his head with an exasperated sigh, smiling slightly as Coco continued to lead the charge towards the cafe. “You know how it is, Youngjae-yah. But that’s besides the point.” His eyes twinkled mischievously. “Who is this lovely lady?”

Your face flushed with heat and you couldn’t help but look down at your shoes. Youngjae — no, Dr. Choi — gently entangled his fingers within your own, giving your hand a very gentle squeeze in assurance. He introduced you to Mark. “She’s from out of town and I’m giving her the local’s tour of the city.”

Mark’s eyes crinkled in the corner as he shot you a smile. “Then welcome to MeongMeong Cafe.”

You muttered your thanks as Dr. Choi led you inside to a table in the corner.

Sitting down, you noted that the cafe was the same on the inside as it was on the outside with pastel and sepia colors furniture all over the place. Nothing was a matching set it seemed, almost like repurposed yard sale items, but all dog friendly. In the corner of the shop was a blackboard, the menu items scrawled across it in different colors with their prices trailing after it.

Mark wiped his hands on his apron before pulling out a notepad from his apron pocket, the poodle (while Dr. Choi affectionately greeted as ‘Mimi’) following him, seemingly waiting for a command. He shot Dr. Choi an almost pointed look. “The usual for you and the cottonball, I take it?”

Dr. Choi glanced sheepishly at you before turning his gaze back to Mark. “Yeah.”

Mark hummed his understanding and jotted it down then turned to you. “And for the lovely lady?”

Your insides clenched in anxiety? What did you want? You looked past the two of them at the chalkboard covered in what felt like hundreds of choices. Did you want something sweet? Savory? Salty? Sour? Did you like bitter? 500 years was a long time between meals.

Dr. Choi placed his hand over yours, grabbing your attention. “If you’re up for it, I suggest the mocha latte and the croissant of the day.”

Mark piped in, “Which is Eggs Benedict, by the way.”

You swallowed looking between the two of them. “Um, then I will go with that then.”

“Alright then. Come on, Milo.”

Mark smiled as he jotted down your orders on his little notepad before making his way back towards what you supposed was the kitchen, Milo hot on his heels. You turned your attention back to Dr. Choi and you found yourself shrinking in on yourself, blushing under the intensity of his gaze.

Is this what it was like to be human? Is this what Jaebeom felt like? To feel constantly overwhelmed?

“Since you mentioned that this was the first time in Seoul for you, where do you live?”

For a moment your reply caught in your throat. Nowhere, just a forest between life and death.

“Busan! Yes, it took quite a while to get here.”

Dr. Choi smiled. “Ahhh. An overnight train ride then. I love Busan: the architecture, the food!”

You couldn’t help but giggle at that. He leaned back in his chair as he hummed. “And the people, so it seems.”

You knew that wasn’t true, but nonetheless, heat rose to your cheeks like an inferno. Youngjae — no, stop it — Dr. Choi asked, “Tell me about what you do for a living?”

Yeah… ‘living.’ Laughable.

Chewing on your bottom lip for a moment, you thought on how to answer it. “I’m in the family business.”

Dr. Choi sat forward, interest piqued as Mark returned with two coffees on adorable little plates, decorated with watercolor paw prints. “What does your family do?”

Before you could think better on it, you spat out, “Funerary services: cremations, burials, wakes, and the likes.”

Mark… poor Mark paused, his expression unreadable before he quietly excused himself. Dr. Choi on the other hand surprised you; he laughed. You stared at him, jaw slack and brow knit.

“I’m sorry…. I shouldn’t have laughed. I found it ironic. You give souls their final farewells while I welcome them into the world.”

Again, your heart gave a stuttering tap as a tsunami of emotion washed over you. How could he know the words you needed to hear? Or at least the ones that made you feel real at the very least. You took a sip of your coffee to try to distract yourself from the squall of emotion in your chest, only to hiss as you burn your tongue.

Dr. Choi is immediately at your side. “You ok?”

You touched the back of your hand to your mouth, looking away. “Yes, I was just being stupid.”

He laughed again and you couldn’t help but shoot him a pointed look. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh. Just that, some times watching you do things is like watching a child discovering something new for the first time.” He smiled down at you sweetly. “I think it’s endearingly adorable.”

Your throat felt try and your face hot and your chest felt heavy. Adorable? You? You looked away from him, trying to appear as if his words didn’t do anything to you. As if your attention was taken up by something else on the far side of the shop.

But out of the corner of your eye, as he raised his own cup of coffee to his lips, there was a twinkle of mischief and mirth in his eye. Taking a chance, you lifted your own cup to your lips, blowing on it before taking a tentative sip. Immediately you hummed in appreciation. It was delicious.

Mark came back over with another set of adorable plates, one was your croissant (looking absolutely delicious covered in Hollandaise sauce) and Dr. Choi’s waffle. From the pocket of his apron he produced some sort of gourmet dog chew setting it down on the ground for Coco to try to conquer. You thanked Mark, who gave you a gracious but overly exaggerated bow before he excused himself.

You turned back to Dr. Choi as you mentally went over a game plan on how to tackle your delicious looking (and smelling) food. “You said you welcome souls into the world. What do you mean by that?”

You knew what he did. Did it count as stalking if you’re not alive and they’re just a form of entertainment between reapings? But you had the forethought to be mindful of that. You didn’t want this illusion to burst by muttering something suspicious.

He hid a small laugh as he took a bite of his waffle. “You promise not to laugh?”

You mimicked the way he cut into his waffle, the same way with your croissant, albeit it didn’t go as smoothly as his. “Promise.”

He took a moment to chew, almost thoughtfully before he said, “I’m, uh, well… I’m an OB/GYN. I deliver babies.”

You smiled at him as he tried to hide his blush behind shoveling food into his mouth. Barely above a whisper, you replied, “I think it suits you perfectly.”

He shot you a brilliant smile, looking away from you as his cheeks began to glow a nice shade of pink. As you sat there in the golden hours of the morning, you admired his features, realization dawned on you.

You were hopelessly in love with Youngjae.

Want more like this? Check out the following:

STAR-CROSSED, a science fiction series with Jackson Wang of GOT7

As always, reviews, comments, asks, and tags are always loved! ~Peony

Also, please note that I do NOT do tagging lists. Please see my FAQ for why.

GOT7 Masterlist

Masterlist

#got7 #got7 youngjae #youngjae #choi youngjae #youngjae got7 #got7 fluff #got7 angst #Beyond the Veil #BtV #peonybane #got7 jinyoung #got7 jaebeom #got7 bambam #got7 yugyeom #got7 mark

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pixiedst · 4 years

Text

Dance With Me 02 // KYG

Request from @lost-midnight-flower

Hiii can I request a got7 fic? Maybe something along the lines of meeting the guys at a fan meeting or something and one of them falling head over heals with the reader? That seems pretty cute to me, is that weird? If you choose to write this, you can pick which member you want to write about ^^ have a great day/evening ahead!

Genre: Fluff Pairing: Reader x Yugyeom Rating: PG-13 Warnings: None Description: Dance studio owner Y/N meets Yugyeom at a fan sign. Word Count: 3,694

Index // Part One // Part Three // Part Four

”I’m gonna be honest, I enjoyed the bunny ears,” Yugyeom says and takes her copy of the album to sign.

“Hilarious,” Y/N says. “Turn to the next page.”

He does as he’s told and finds a beige envelope with a glittery, red heart sticker sealing it. He lifts it and scoffs. “How radiant.”

“If you don’t want it, I’ll-“, but before her fingers can reach it, he pulls away.

“No way! I wanna know more about you! I am not losing this chance.”

Y/N tries to keep a straight face, but she can tell from Yugyeom’s laugh that her cheeks are red enough to betray her. He’s different today. Bolder. She looks at the fans next to her. Can they hear them? They seem busy enough with their conversations.

She likes this, though. It’s a different side to him. Before she can say anything else, the staff orders her to move. As she gathers her things, she glances back at Yugyeom one last time to flash a smile.

He winks.

Dear Yugyeom,

Here is the letter you asked for.

Yours, Y/N

Yugyeom stifles a laugh and reads further.

Okay, I’m kidding. I’m writing this after watching your beautifully entitled V-Live “OLOLOLO”. Mark noticed my comment and asked for me: what have you been up to lately? It inspired me to write this.

Do you wanna know why I started dancing? I watched Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses as a kid. I wanted to travel to a secret land where I could dance with magical statues to classical music by instruments that played themselves. Needless to say, when I found out none of that was real, I was devastated.

But what kept most of that fantasy a reality was the dancing. My parents understood how much I wanted to be a dancer and enrolled me in ballet class. I was horrible, hated it immensely, and my dream of becoming a princess withered.

Years passed, and they let me enroll in a hip hop dance class, and that’s where I found my rhythm. My body was comfortable with the music, and I was satisfied with the setting. I knew I wanted to be a professional dancer.

But my parents’ understanding ended there. It thrilled them to have a daughter who could dance, but they felt that choosing it as a career was impractical. After years of begging, proving my worth through recitals and gold medals, they never changed their minds.

I graduated with a business degree. They wanted me to start a business, so I did. I started my studio. They tried to get angry, but they knew they had no reason to be. I did what they wanted me to do, and with the skills I learned, I added my own twist. I never broke a rule.

Until now, they’re unhappy with my decision, but they’re less angry. I think that’s all right. I still meet with them every few weeks because I love them despite the sacrifices they forced me to make. But looking back, it’s safe to say they were good for me. With my level of skill before university, I wouldn’t have been able to get into any of the performing arts schools. I only joined the dance team in my school and used that experience to start my studio. Not a bad deal.

You might be wondering why I’m telling you all this. That V-Live struck a chord in me. Bambam said to not be ashamed, so here I am, shamelessly presenting my life story to you.

Here’s my social media if you want to see me dance. This is a huge step for me, but I think this is a good way for me to let go of doubts and embrace the unknown instead.

Instagram: @dancingseoul

YouTube: Dancing Seoul Studio

Thank you again for inspiring me to be where I am now. You’re the best.

Yours, Y/N

Yugyeom’s mind races. He’s only met this person three times, but despite the brief interactions, she trusted him enough with this personal story. There is nothing more he wants for her but success. He wants to see her studio run out of slots for enrollments. He wants millions of people to subscribe to her YouTube channel. It’s what she deserves. Life is too cruel to keep that from her.

He checks her Instagram. It’s cute. Majority of the posts are dance videos and pictures of the studio, but she slides in a few selfies now and then. Their family is small, but she looks happy. He smiles. He likes seeing her happy.

He stops on a selfie from two years ago. She barely aged. The only difference is her hair, which in this photo shows a light brown shade and a fringe. Cute. He taps twice and continues to scroll.

Within a few more photos down, he freezes.

Wait. Did he...

He hurries back up, a scream locked in his throat. His muscles tense, and his breathing goes rigid. Why can’t he find it? He’s back in the recent ones. Did he miss it again? He scrolls back down, slower this time, but the pace is almost killing him. She must have seen the notification by now.

When he finally finds it, he taps on the heart and drops his phone on the bed. He sighs. There’s no use. He’ll have to explain himself next time they meet.

Maybe they can pretend it never happened, but based on their brief interactions and the way she writes her letters, that’s highly unlikely. Typical. Just another person in his life to tease him indefinitely.

He smiles. For the members, it’s nothing new. But for Y/N? Maybe it won’t be so bad.

How to React to Your Idol Liking Your Instagram Photo: A Tutorial With Y/N

Drop your phone on the floor

Scramble to check your phone is okay

Scream in your pillow

Cry (optional)

Take a screenshot to preserve the memory

She frowns. He liked that photo? Why did she even upload it? What was she thinking? Her hair was a mess, and she was sweating like she’d been in a sauna. And the angle? She can’t even process how embarrassing her selfie skills were two years ago. She taps on the three dots and hovers her thumb over the “Archive” button.

What if he did like it, though? Maybe he thought she looked… pretty. She scoffs. That’s ridiculous. She’s not terrible looking, but she could never compare to the girls he must see every day. Twice literally works in the same building as him. He can’t possibly look at her and think she’s pretty.

But she is open to possibilities. Sometimes. Only this time.

Y/N smiles. She exits the app and places her phone on the bedside table. The thought rings in her mind, and she can’t help but bury her face is her pillow. Wouldn’t it be nice, though?

Wouldn’t it be nice if Kim Yugyeom found her pretty?

“Is it her?” Bambam asks.

“No,” Yugyeom replies, and flashes a smile at the fan in front of him and accepts a stuffed toy.

So, his secret is out. The members caught on and have been playing telephone throughout the event. Yugyeom just has to suffer from being seated in the middle this time.

“Is it her?” Bambam asks, not even looking away from his next fan.

“No, but she’s almost here.”

Bambam laughs as he allows the fan to place a scarf around his neck. Yugyeom wishes nothing more than to run away and never come back. His members are extra smiley and observing each fan who comes their way, trying to figure out which of them was able to steal the maknae’s heart.

Oh, God, please keep it subtle, he prays.

And there she is. His breath hitches, and he blinks a few times to avoid making a complete fool of himself.

“Hello,” His voice cracks.

So much for subtle.

Bambam and Youngjae laugh, and the girls they’re talking to join in. Fantastic.

He clears his throat and repeats himself. “Hello.”

Y/N smiles. “Did you drink enough water today? You don’t want your voice to crack like that again.”

He can feel Bambam and Youngjae solve the puzzle. It’s only a matter of time before the information leaks to the rest.

“No letter today, sorry. I figured the previous one already showed a lot. I don’t even know what to say anymore,” she says.

He pulls the album closer to him and signs. “That’s okay. I really enjoyed reading it. I got to know you a little better.”

Y/N presses her lips together before she leans in to reply, “You seem to have enjoyed my Instagram, too.”

Yugyeom laughs and pink rises in his cheeks. “I’m sorry about that. I was just going through your dance videos and accidentally pressed like on your selfie. You’re a really talented dancer, though! I’m impressed!”

Nice save. That was a nice save, right?

“Nice save.” So it was not. “But thank you for the compliment. I wasn’t sure about that selfie, though.”

“I thought you looked cute,” he says. She looks away shyly. “But really, though. You’re an incredible dancer. I hope your studio gets the recognition it deserves.”

“I’m so tired,” Jia says and slides to the floor as the rest of the team gather their things.

Areum ties her hair and wipes the sweat around her neck. “Me too. I’m so glad it’s Saturday. I can stay up all night watching Luna’s Hotel.”

“New drama?” Y/N asks.

“Mhm! It’s my second one this week!” she replies.

How she finished yet another drama, Y/N has no idea. It’s surprising enough that she has the energy to teach dance despite barely getting any sleep. Sunhee, on the other hand, has been slowing down. Apparently, she’s been getting into GOT7.

None of them know about Y/N’s interest in the group. If anything, the members themselves are the only ones who do. Nobody else is aware of his influence on her career, and she prefers to keep it that way. She doesn’t want them to think she’s weird and obsessed.

“If they’re just gonna show off their relationship every two seconds, they might as well get married,” Sunhee grumbles as she stares at her phone.

“I know. It’s all they ever post about. We get it. They’re dating,” Jia says.

“Who’s dating?” Y/N asks.

Sunhee turns her phone and reveals the screen. Y/N leans in to get a better view. It’s a picture of Hyuna and Dawn. His hand is on her waist, and she’s kissing his cheek while he looks at the camera with a slightly tucked chin and close-lipped smile. It’s a cute picture.

“What’s wrong with them dating?”

“It’s disrespectful to the fans!” Areum says.

“How is falling in love disrespectful?”

Jia scoffs. “Typical of you to say that, really. Listen. Celebrities exist to entertain, meaning the audience can form emotional attachments to them. Dating someone completely destroys that bond they formed with their fans. It’s disrespectful for that sole reason. Do you get it?”

Y/N wishes she could reply with, “Typical of you to say that, really,” but stops herself. Maybe she should just agree. What’s the point of disagreeing when it will only leave her out of the group even more? It’s funny how she’s technically the boss, yet they treat her like another colleague. Where is the respect?

Part of it is her fault, though. She can’t be too restricting, and she is desperate to keep them with her. She doesn’t want to admit it, but she needs them. Sure, she wants a circle of friends, but she also needs them for her business. What would she do without them?

But she cannot let them win this time. She just can’t agree with them.

“I understand that there’s a bond between celebrities and their fans, but they don’t just exist to entertain. They’re more than just faces on a screen. They’re human beings, and the fans are only falling in love with a small portion of their real selves. You see how much training they have to go through just to debut. They have to be as close to perfect as possible because they’ll be in front of hundreds of cameras. What I’m saying is that underneath all that perfection, they are regular people who fall in love too. Being a celebrity doesn’t take that away.”

Sunhee shakes her head. “I bet you haven’t fallen in love with an idol before.” Her voice wavers. How pathetic. “It’s like chasing a cloud. You just look at them from afar, and that’s all you can do.” She sighs. “You wouldn’t understand.”

They pick up their things and head to the door. Jia leaves last and says, “See you on Monday, Boss.”

Y/N only responds with a nod and a weak smile.

Jia called her ‘boss’. If only she felt worthy of the title. She sighs and takes their place on the floor and closes her eyes. She could really use another surprise live. Anything GOT7 always made her feel better.

She walks to the speakers and plugs her phone before clicking on shuffle and running to the center of the room.

When the music begins, it’s like the rhythm is beating for her. Y/N always had to think before she spoke, analyze every word the rest of the world said, but in this room, there is no language but the movement of her body. There is no law but the music running through her veins. As she dances to the beat, her feet and legs and knees scream at her to rest, but she doesn’t listen. Moments like these are precious to her. This is her territory. This is home.

A knock on the door puts her off balance. She groans. Everybody knows not to interrupt her when she’s dancing. Did someone forget something? There doesn’t seem to be anything left behind. She rushes to her phone and pauses the music. She grabs a towel and wipes her sweat before she reaches for the door.

“Listen, we’re clo-” But her voice gets trapped.

Standing before her is none other than Kim Yugyeom.

Y/N doesn’t know what to do. She has dealt with defending her dream to her family, lost relationships because no one believed in her, and handled three difficult-to-please girls for two years. She got through those hurdles without a scratch, but as she stands before Yugyeom, her throat is dry and her knees buckle.

Her fantasies could never live up to this. Not enough fan fiction prepared her for this moment, and frankly, she’s not sure if there is anything in the world to do that. This is her idol, her hero, the entire reason she has her studio today—the very studio he’s in. Well, sort of in. He’s only at the door frame, and this must be the moment she steps aside to let him in, but her body remains still.

“Hello,” he says, his voice low. “I don’t really want to be seen right now. Can I come in?”

Like a hypnotist’s snap, she blinks and regains control of her senses. She quickly nods and steps aside, still unable to find her words.

Yugyeom seems to be doing just fine. He walks around the room like a tourist in a museum and gapes at every little thing she’s sure the JYP building has and more. After admiring the speakers, he turns around and faces her.

“Do you mind if I…” He unzips a few inches of his hoodie and meets her eyes, a quiet permission to take it off.

She nods and almost chokes when her eyes land on his arms. He’s wearing a muscle tee today. Her heart beats louder than the speakers on maximum volume. He places the hoodie on a bench against the wall, and even that is enough to make her breathing go rigid. Everything he does is so godlike, she doesn’t know if she’s worthy of this front-row seat.

“So… how did you find my studio?”

“The address is on your Instagram.”

Of course. Heat rises in her cheeks. Given she’s already humiliated herself, maybe she should create a list of them to slap herself in the face with when this is all over.

“Right,” She rubs the back of her neck. “What are you doing here then? Do you need a place to practice or something?”

He shakes his head and walks to her. “I wanted to see you.”

Y/N is sure he can hear her heartbeat. “You… you wanted to see me?”

He nods. “I really like talking to you, and I thought since we barely got the chance to know each other through the fan signs, maybe we could step outside of those and become real friends. You seem like a really interesting person, and I want to get to know you more.”

What’s with the sudden confession? Her entire face must be red right now. With his eyebrows raised and a small smile forming, he’s definitely having fun with her reaction. She takes a step back in hopes of the distance giving her space to breathe.

But why would he want to be friends with her? She’s just a low-rate dancer with a small studio. What could he find interesting about her? She scans his face, and he lowers his eyebrows, but his smile never fades. He’s not kidding.

“All right,” she says and takes a step forward. “But we have to keep this a secret. If my friends find out, I’ll never see the end of their complaints.”

She hates to admit it, but she almost regrets saying that. Being friends with Kim Yugyeom could be the turning point in their relationship. She can almost imagine it. They would pay more attention, listen to everything she has to say without disregarding it, and they might even like her. They’d listen to her stories about Yugyeom behind the scenes and whine. They’d be jealous of her. How enthralling is that? To have someone be jealous of her for once…

Did she really think all that in a few seconds? She sighs and lowers her head.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she mutters and meets his eyes again. “It’s best if no one finds out. I don’t want to risk having my entire life change.”

“I get it.” He looks at the speakers on his left before turning back to her. “You were dancing to Teenager.”

“Huh? Oh. Yeah, I was. I should be home by now, but I was feeling a bit stressed and needed to get it off my chest.”

He walks to the speakers and picks up her phone. “This might be a weird question, but can I see you dance?” When she doesn’t reply, he adds, “I want to see the Y/N I heard so much about. By ‘heard’, I mean ‘read’.”

She walks toward him. “Weren’t you just on my Instagram? You could see me dance there.”

He laughs. “Yeah, but you mostly post your students’ performances. And on Youtube, too. You don’t give yourself enough screen time. I wanna see you.”

The light just above him shines on his skin, and the shadows sharpen his features. His black muscle tee and jeans give off the illusion that his skin is paler, he almost looks like a vampire. A sexy dancing vampire. There is something about him that’s so captivating.

Y/N was never good with words. Dancing was always easier. She’s sure he can agree, and that’s when it hits her. Maybe he does have a reason to want to be her friend. He found someone he could relate to.

“Sit down. I’ll show you something no one’s seen yet.” His smile rises to the ends of his cheeks. “Consider yourself lucky.”

“I’m very lucky.”

“Now this isn’t finished yet. It’s supposed to be for two people, and I haven’t choreographed the entire song or the boy’s part. What you’re about to see is completely raw and unfixed. It might not be pretty.”

“I’m sure it’ll be beautiful.”

I am Yours by Andy Grammer fills the room, and her body moves in an instant. She thought she’d be nervous dancing in front of her idol, but it’s the very reason the confidence surges through her. She follows every beat with her feet, with her arms, with her whole being until she sinks into the melody.

You know I need you Like you’re oxygen Be my atmosphere Let me breathe you in So I can try to tell you I love you

She twirls under an imaginary hand, which her mind immediately portrays as Yugyeom’s. Her heart soars at the image, and it pushes her further. Her body is tired, but she can’t find the energy to stop.

Still can’t believe it when you say you’re mine and I am yours, I am yours

With one final spin, she halts and meets his eyes.

I am yours.

She doesn’t know what he’s thinking. There is no expression on his face. His gaze is completely fixed on hers, and it almost glows under the lights. His breathing is quick like he was the one dancing.

“What-” She tries to catch her breath, but she can’t tell if her struggle is from the dance. “What do you think?”

He swallows and licks his lips. “I’m thinking…” Y/N grips the hem of her shirt. “I want to be your partner.”

Her eyes almost pop out of their sockets. “What?”

He gets up and walks straight to her like time is running out. “I wanna dance to this with you. You haven’t finished the choreography, right?”

“Yeah, but-”

“And you said you needed a partner. A boy. Well, I’m available, and I want the part.”

“But Yug-”

He takes her hands, and her body freezes. “Dance with me.”

She shivers under his touch, but she makes her decision. With her heart and mind racing at once, she nods and says, “Okay.”

Part Three

#ultkpop #dancewithmefic #got7 #got7 fanfic #yugyeom #kim yugyeom #kim yugyeom fanfic #yugyeom fanfic #got7 fluff #yugyeom fluff

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svtmin · 4 years

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disclaimer: i am not related, in any way, to the boys or JYP. this is mainly for entertainment purposes and to humanize the boys a little further by diving into their struggles. please know i mean no harm to anyone and events might be briefly mentioned but other than that, is all invented

DIARIES OF GOT7: ENTRY ONE — YUGYEOM

Bowling.

It was possibly one of the things we least liked to do, as individuals and friends, but i think it was mostly because of what it meant rather the activity it was. Because bowling by itself was pleasant, while laughing and drinking some, spending time with each other. However, we all knew deep inside ourselves that JB only really planned a night of bowling when it was to deliver bad news. Bringing bad news was already tough but doing it over the phone or even in a meeting room? That’s not the GOT7 way. That’s not the JB way. We can all be relaxed, enjoying ourselves, and the bad news won’t sound so bad. But since this is an habit earned over years and how it usually plays out, there is already a hole in the pit of my stomach, an uneasy feeling I can’t release myself from. And I know I’m not the only one; Bambam beside me is restless, pale digits tapping to a fast tempo, uncoordinated and unpleasant, but who am I to tell him to stop? It’s not at the sound at the low beat of the song, nor of my heart, but he’s restless, concerned, every emotion i mirrored, and I’m not going to be the one to snap. Instead, we remain in silence, despite my burning wish to ask, to reach, to stop his hand. I feel everything and I hate how oblivious my mind refuses to be and acknowledge the gravity of the situation.

We finally pull up at the alley we are used to call as home, Bambam leaving the car without a word. We’re not being ourselves because of the unpleasant feeling the night brings us, but the fresh air calms my nerves, my eyes closing as I leave the car. Breathe, I tell to myself; I know it’s probably silly to feel this nervous, this uneasy over a night with your friends - half of me thinks I should’ve stayed home, despite my social nature pulling me on the opposite direction.

“ —Hey, are you coming? “ my eyes open to see Bambam a few feet away, bleached brows risen as the black hoodie wraps around loosely around his small frame. I nod, voice unfound to this new reality and he nods back “ —’kay, then stop daydreaming, we’re already late. “

I know him — Bambam is usually the first one to crack a smile or a joke in tense situations to make them a little lighter, but we both knew this wasn’t a good time for that. I followed energies better than I created them so I remained quiet: i wasn’t interested in becoming the outcast of the night and Bam clearly set my tone for the night. My steps matched his (finally, the tempo fell right) and we finally got into the bowling alley, pushing the glass door open.

Whenever GOT7 bowled, the alley remained empty and quiet. I suspected that each time, JB rented the whole place for us, to make sure we could hang without being bothered by fans, but I couldn’t be too sure. The place remained dark, tense, with the fairy lights and low smokey illumination above the surfaces making it rather groovy. There was some song playing, calm and yet pacey, but I didn’t recognize it — I was too nervous at this point to see it. My fingers slid through the soft surface of the counter, my shoes already on top of it beside Bam’s, and I grabbed them, head turning inside. And then I saw them.

I hated how tense they seemed already. Mark was sitting back on the sofas, trying to look casual but his clenched jaw already translated to the knowledge of what that night was about. Jackson was next to him, sat on the back of the sofa with feet next to Mark’ seat, leaning forward with brows in a furrow — it was strange, too strange really. Youngjae was standing with JB, both of them absorbed in conversation in small whispers and with how low JB’s head was, it was definitely not a good conversation. Jinyoung seemed not to have arrived yet, which was definitely strange. I stood, near the counter, while Bambam stepped closer and for the first time in about three hours, his smile was gleaming.

“ —Boys! The party has arrived, what’s up? Who’s ready to lose? Who’s with who? Wha— wait, where is Jinyoung? “ he shakes his head, looking back at me with a smirk “ —Guess he’s always late, huh? “

Their faces briefly showed some emotion, a hint of a smile, before returning to the same gloomy environment it was before we arrived. I had set my tone — I was going to be quiet, and after trading complementaries with the two, I sat next to Mark, leaning forward while looking at my hands. We absolutely hated that feeling, but until we were all present, JB wouldn’t say much. Fortunately didn’t took long either until Jinhyung rolled in too, his hair completely messed and pale features showing soft concern, panting slightly. Small apologies rolled from his lips and then and there I knew it was off, we all did. Jinyoung didn’t apologise unless the situation was critic. My stomach turns, my urge to vomit increasing and I saw movement, when Youngjae sat beside Bam. This was it.

The soft silence was only filled with the song unrecognizable song that played on the alley, and it took a few moments until JB finally spoke. Now JB — he sported his neutral expression, almost like unfazed to the situation. Maybe that was why he was a good leader, never transparing his concerns and fears onto us, but made these types of situations ten times worse. We didn’t knew what was coming — if we had been kicked out of JYP or if he had tripped outside; he remains calm, stable, strong for us. I’ll never have words to thank him for that.

“ —Sorry for the last minute invite. I think we all need this. “ he started, soothing voice, and I couldn’t look up towards him, like I was sure the others were. It pains me, but I would clearly see how disturbed he would be “ —Before we start … I just wanted you guys to know I had a meeting with the boss today. JYPE. Anyway. “ there is a brief pause and I feel Mark move uncomfortably in his seat — oh, he knows “ —Once again, he rejected all the songs. I’m not sure how are we going to pull our next comeback, honestly, but we’ll think of something. Hum— I guess Mark? You choose who you wanna play with and we’ll figure out. “

The sudden change of topics made me lift my head. That’s it? Well, wasn’t good either way, but I was expecting the absolute worse. The worst of the worst, technically speaking. In a way, I wasn’t sure what I was expecting or maybe JB wasn’t expressing himself well. Or maybe I just didn’t saw the real gravity of the situation — it happened sometimes. I look at Mark as he gets up, looking around himself before speaking,

“ —What about rappers against vocalists? We haven’t done that in a while. “

“ —Where does Gyeom fits in that? “ Jinhyung smirks looking at Mark and I feel my mouth drop, wanting to just laugh; if it was out of nerves or if it was actually funny, I wasn’t sure. Either way, made everyone laugh, thank god. Youngjae’s loud laughter fills the empty alley better, making my heart lift but I focus once more as Mark grabs my hand and pulls me to my feet.

“ —Yugi is actually a good bowler so we’ll take him, thanks. “ he sticks his tongue out and we see Jinyoung’s face fall, for the big pleasure of the rappers “ —Koo really taught you to play, Yug. You think you can give us all strikes? “

One of Jinyoung’s infamous stares later, and we’re having fun finally. There is still some sort of cloud behind it, like we’re all thinking the same but no one wants to go back to the gloomy feeling of before. Sometimes I catch Mark staring at the wall instead of celebrating Bam’s points or JB biting his nails like he usually does when he’s nervous. Something tells me that wasn’t all he had to tell us but I don’t want to be the one ruining a perfectly decent night. Maybe it does sound selfish of me but if it was truly serious, JB would tell us … right?

I ended up sharing the car with Bam and Jackson, like one would. I was sleepy and leaning against my window and Bam was talking about something I don’t remember. Unlike before, he was comfortable, energetic and fun like his natural self and Jackson was feeding onto it, like he was so used to him. Sometimes I wondered what I was really doing there, but I was happy someone was feeding Bam’s fire; the previous ride had concerned me heavily. I kept thinking how tight Mark hugged me when we said our goodbyes because a) it was rare to share hugs in such common hangouts and b) it had been tight. It worried me, but if he wasn’t engaging the problem, neither would I.

“ —Yo, Yugyeom, are you even listening to me? “

“ —Huh? “ my eyes turned to Bam, who was looking at me with his brows risen again, Jackson smiling wide on the other side “ —Hum, no, sorry, what was that? “ I blinked, trying to ride that sleepiness again, but I only saw Jackson’s head shake.

“ —Nah bruh, this night is over. He’s legit sleeping over there. “ our senior falls back on the seat before smiling at Bam “ —Besides, we have early schedules so … we better go to sleep. “

Whatever it was, they didn’t tell me. I was so sleepy that I barely remember Dalkyum’s pleas of affection and how he snuggled so close to me when I fell on the mattress. I was tired but I don’t remember why — the bad news hadn’t been that bad, we could definitely write new songs … right? This was the huge problem with JYPE in general, we never knew what we could count with. And with ahgases so patiently waiting for us, we didn’t know what to do. My hand scratches Dalkyum’s torso and I leave my head to rest, closing my eyes for a moment. It finally falls on me, how serious this is. How we depend on this comeback, how we want to make our fans proud … and nothing is working in our favour. Not now. Not again. But that’s a problem for tomorrow. It has to be. There is nothing to now.

Part of me knows this, but I know Mark and JB are somewhere right now, fully awake, trying to come up with answers.

I wish I could be of more help.

#thegot7network #got7creators #got7 #got7 imagine #writing challenge #« ♡ 𝐛𝐢𝐚𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩 — got7 .#ENTRY ONE — YUGYEOM

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kpopisamood · 5 years

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Queen’s Clan { 12 }

Summary: y/n is plagued by nightmares. She realizes that the more she runs away, the less frequently they haunt her. However, in running away, she’s also running straight into her ultimate demise. Will she be saved in time by those who would lay down their lives for her, even if they don’t know of each other’s existence?

Monsta X/Reader, Human/Vampire(s), Reverse Harem

Warnings: light smut?, violence, language

Word count: 2.83k

Tag list: @noonaduck @lovinggalaxies @elenaramos1 @girlwith-thecinder-blockgarden @snowythellama @stargazersara @luvthatleader-nim @sugasheart

A/N: I’m currently hopped up on NyQuil, nasal spray, and all sorts of cough suppressants and antihistamines. I don’t get sick-sick, I get allergy-sick and have to call the ER just to keep living. I’m exaggerating, but the point is, LET’S GET THIS BREAD BEFORE I PASS OUT!

***

There were certain...things to do before Shownu and Jooheon could join your Clan. First, you’d have to feed from both and formally accept them on paper and in oath. Lastly, Shownu had said he would not serve you if all of them couldn’t. Meaning, Changkyun. The little shit responsible for pushing all of your buttons and wanting to piss you all the way off. You would have agreed wholeheartedly, but your pride told you he’d never let you live it down.

But you’d also lose all sense of pride since you’d pretty much shown your ass to Shownu and Jooheon the previous night.

“Join my Clan and attend the Gathering with me.” You could have slapped your former self for being so out there. What on earth were you thinking?

Truth be told, you weren’t. After hearing the backstory of how Changkyun, Shownu, and Jooheon came to be here, you’d just remember seeing a sheet of red taking over your vision and you’d made your impromptu decision perhaps too quickly. However, seeing the guys and their reactions to being accepted into your Clan, you’d realized it was one of the best possible outcomes for them. Sure, you had no idea what being a Queen entailed, but you were sure you’d be much better than the Queen before and—wow, you sounded jealous. That’s not cute, Y/N.

Miss Kudrow. She’d know what to do.

You’d remember she’d left her card for you and dialed her digits in your phone. The ringing made you feel a bit anxious, maybe she wasn’t going to—

“Kudrow, here.” Her voice said.

You burst out laughing. The thirty seconds of anxiety waiting for her to pick up followed by her little call opening was enough to send you over the edge. Well, maybe it was due to all the new stress you were under. Laughter was a hell of a better way of getting rid of your stress so maybe—

“Y/N,” she sighed, you could tell she was rubbing the bridge of her nose, adjusting her big glasses in annoyance. “Are you alright, dear?” She asked, semi-concerned.

“Yes. No. Wait. I just need your advice on something.” You swallowed.

She was quiet for a moment before telling you to go on.

“So, I’ve accepted new members into my Clan and—“

“Oh my goodness, that’s great!” She congratulated.

“Would you please let me finish?!” You demanded, clutching your phone tightly. Silence followed and you took a deep breath before going on. “I’ve accepted new members, but they won’t accept unless I add another annoying member.”

“Y/N, you’re the one calling the shots here. If you don’t want someone to serve you, you don’t have to accept them. If those new Clan members won’t serve you without the last person, then offer an ultimatum. If you truly want them, let them know. Could you possibly want this last person as well, though?” She asked professionally.

Could you? Changkyun? The little shit from hell?

“Well, I—maybe. If there were boundaries or—“

“Sorry, Y/N, I have another appointment to get to. If there’s even a slight chance you’ll accept this new member, accept their proposal but make sure they know who is in charge. You’re not second best and they better damn well respect that.” She said before clicking end.

Your eyes widened as you stared at your phone in shock before chucking it behind you on your bed.

You called the shots, but you don’t want to seem like the old Queen they had. Maybe you should occupy your time with something else.

***

Name: Sonaelina Incendies

Age: 28

Status: Queen

Clan population: 7

Clan members: Jackson Wang, Seokjin Kim, Jimin Park, Youngjae Choi, Jinyoung Park, Jeon Jungkook, Jaebum Im

Location: Louisiana, Unite States

Blood type: O Negative

Power: Affinity of Fire and Lightning measures

Offspring: 0

‘Sonaelina started her Queendom at the young age of thirteen when her parents were killed by Shadows. She garnered her own Clan once she was of age. She has since kept all members and has not taken anymore due to what she calls “loyalty”. Likes to get acquainted with other Queens to avoid boredom, though she’s surrounded by her Clan the majority of the time. Known her Power since she Awakened. No known limitations.’

Name: Astor Ria

Age: 21

Status: Queen

Clan Population: 10

Clan Members: Christian Young, Celestina Byers, Jongin Kim, Jaime Octavius, Parker Ginsberg, Hali Josh, Maia Orlovsky, Caine Tybolt, Jennifer Tybolt, and Tai Sylverstine

Location: Texas, United States

Blood Type: O Negative

Power: Affinity of Ice and Psychic measures

Offspring: 0

‘Astor was Awakened a Queen back in 2001 at the age of five. Known as the youngest Queen to ever live through a full awakening with no help from Clan mates or family. Family members still very much alive and keep in contact with her regularly, though she tries not to leave the house much. Has several lovers via Clan mates and lives a closed-off lifestyle in her Texas abode. Recently found out her Power. No known limitations on it.’

Name: Hyungwon Chae

Age: 25

Status: King

Clan Population: 1

Clan Members: Yoo Kihyun

Location: Gwangju, South Korea

Blood Type: O

Power: Affinity of Fire and Blood measures

Offspring: 0

‘Hyungwon is one of the last remaining Kings alive. Eligible for Queens to bond with, but will likely not accept. Inherited Clan via familial ties and has never taken on any other Clan mates. Awakened at the age of seventeen and saw he could control the elements fire and blood. No known limitations.’

***

All this reading was giving you a headache. It was like you were reading about those people on the sweet sixteen television reality show that used people with lavish lifestyles to brag about their upbringing. The three people you had just read through seemed to be people you could possibly align yourself with. Miss Kudrow had said finding friends in this world would be better than staying alone and you’d narrowed it down to these few who pretty much kept to themselves.

You’d likely seek them out at the Gathering and try to make some sort of conversation with them. Miss Kudrow had assured you that your new presence left quite an impression on their world and everyone was curious about you and what you would be like so you hoped they’d give you a chance. You’d vaguely remember the warning about Kings and what they wanted from Queens, but you figured making a big move to befriend a King was something you needed to do to further set your dominance.

The Gathering itself was in a few days time now and after all the studying, you weren’t anymore prepared. Your mind would keep wandering to Shownu’s offer about bringing Changkyun into the mix and you’d been avoiding all of them the past couple of weeks to bypass confrontation. A little childish, sure. But you’re not about to be bullied into a decision you weren’t ready for.

Minhyuk had been very helpful. He’d been keeping you comfortable with his long talks and entertaining you with his shenanigans as well as...feeding you whenever the need arose. It was a very embarrassing endeavor for you since you pretty much would pin him against something, be it the floor, wall, etc, and greedily suck whatever cut he made, wherever he made it. He’d become a bit daring lately, opting to cut small places on his jaw and neck rather than his forearm like he had before. He’d made it very much intimate and you didn’t exactly mind since he wasn’t pressuring you into any sort of sexual act. He feign innocence and say it was to sate your thirst, but each time he picked a more intimate spot, you felt more nervous and hot inside.

One night you’d almost lost it completely.

He’d shimmied in your cracked door with a bright grin asking how the studies were going and you hummed in response as you shifted through more papers. He could almost feel your annoyance coming off of you in waves before he made his move.

He swiftly slid the papers off of your bed and sat in front of you, cradling your face between his long fingers. “Did anyone tell you studying in your bedroom wasn’t healthy, My Queen?” He asked huskily, slightly brushing his lips against your cheek and panting softly as you clutch desperately at his shirt collar.

“Minhyuk, I need—“ you swallowed, staring at the jutting vein beneath his skin while he smirked and looked at you with heavy-lidded eyes.

“Yes, My Queen.” He agreed, pulling one hand away from you and using that thumb to nick his jaw. He brought you closer to him with his other hand and you latched on fervently, causing him to shudder underneath you and groan out your name. “Take what you want, Y/N.” You bit down harshly on his jaw, causing him to hiss and pinned him beneath you, holding his arms with yours by his head and leaving him defenseless. The position had made you feel powerful and sexy and you mindlessly grinded against his hips to feel more.

Minhyuk gasped and raised his leg up, offering a thing for you to rub against instead to provide more sustenance.

You had stopped suckling at his jaw and looked down at him with blown out pupils. He’d nodded and smiled at you again, this time slipping his hands out to cut along his neck and grabbing your hips, helping push and pull you against his thigh while he brought you back to feed from his throat.

It only took a few more minutes before a pressure began to build in your stomach, an unknown knot tying itself while you tried anchoring yourself to Minhyuk. You’d experienced an orgasm before, but never with someone else. Never this intimate. It was usually a quick rub out and you were fast asleep. This was a new ball park.

Minhyuk took over, urging your body to move faster and faster against his thigh. A faint whimper escaped your lips before he asked permission to kiss you.

You nodded in hurry as he took your lips into his own, lightly licking the bottom and biting on it softly. He’d asked if he could touch you more and you’d agreed, just about begged him to.

He palmed your front and slowly slid his hands into your jeans, undoing the button and lowering the zipper quickly with ease. He stopped at your underwear, and opted to pet you through the linen instead. Not wanting to push you too far during your first encounter with him. The moment he found your clit through the cloth, you’d buried your head against his shoulder, groaning out his name while he continued rubbing faster and faster against your lips.

The knot was slowly tightening and tightening before it burst, unlocking a damn that overflowed you in a heat of bliss. It caused you to stagger against him and shudder as you came down from a high you’ve never quite reached with anyone and Minhyuk kept whispering how beautiful you were.

You’d ended up falling asleep in that position and Minhyuk was there when you woke up, smiling at you brightly and tucking your messy hair behind an ear, asking if you wanted breakfast.

You hadn’t done anymore with Minhyuk since that night, frightened you might scare him off even though you knew he wouldn’t run from you. You weren’t used to wanting to jump someone every few minutes and weren’t used to the blood lust so you’d tried to stay away from everyone to get a grip on yourself. But you’d be lying if you said you weren’t feeling needy.

It was almost like the guys had developed a sixth sense and felt what you were going through. They were constantly at you, asking if you needed any sort of “help” and frankly, it pissed you off. Just because you let Minhyuk get you off once doesn’t mean it’s open season on you.

You needed some sort of order. And the only way to go about that was to put someone in their place. Preferably Changkyun. Perhaps talking to him would help settle some sort of understanding and with that understanding, add more members to your Clan. It wasn’t like you were going for as many people as possible, but Miss Kudrow had mentioned your Clan was basically your backbone. They were like a mini army that represented you and would show your status to those around you. This could also help in making relationships with future Royals. This whole politics game was getting exhausting and you haven’t even met the damn aristocrats yet.

You’d been wandering around the house and found Changkyun lazily tossing a ball against a wall while scrolling through his phone.

“Can I help you?” He asked, tossing it to and fro.

You plopped down next to him on the floor, watching the interaction of him and the ball like a tennis match before you rolled your eyes and grabbed the ball and threw it down the hallway, causing him to widen his eyes before glaring down at you.

“Okay, you have my full, undivided attention.”

You glanced at his phone and back to his face and back again, making sure he got the memo. He sighed before shoving the electronic into his pocket and scooting over to stare at you face to face.

“We need to create some sort of system; you and me.” You started off. Truly, you didn’t know exactly what to say in this conversation but you guessed it would seem less rehearsed and more sincere if you came with no preparation.

“A system?” He questioned, perking one eyebrow up.

“Yes, a system. Look, I’m not exactly sure how this whole ‘Queen’ thing works. To be frank, I don’t care too much about all the politics that go into it. But I would like to continue some sort of relationship with you all. Not romantically, because I’m too new at this. But—“

“I hear what you’re saying,” he chuckled. “In other words, you’d like to start over? Maybe set some sort of boundaries?” He queried.

“Yes!” You sagged in relief. He understood what you were saying and you didn’t have to embarrass yourself too much.

“Yeah, not gonna happen, Trick. Not with the way you tackled me or pinned me.” He laughed, starting to stand up.

“Wait, what—“ You hurriedly got to your feet and trailed after him. “But you can’t just walk away from this! You’ll die.” You whispered the last part, stopping in your tracks.

He stood still and took a deep breath. “And you care whether we live or not?” He asked over his shoulder.

Did you? Care?

“You all don’t deserve to die for someone else’s reckless decisions.” You told him boldly.

He was silent a moment before he spun around and pinned you against the wall, grabbing your chin with his thumb and forefinger softly. He leaned in and you closed your eyes immediately, holding your breath.

He had you completely at his mercy. Your strength had grown but you had made yourself vulnerable to him and it would be oh, so easy to end everything here and now. He wouldn’t have to deal with Queens and Kings and just become what he was meant to be; a shadow. But the more he looked at you, with your eyes closed in an almost trusting way, the way your lips slightly parted, and the slight thump of your pulse had him second guessing everything. If you were offering, he’d take everything and more.

“If you take me as your Clan mate, it’s for the long haul.” He gritted out. He wouldn’t make the same mistake again.

You nodded against his fingers, shuddering as his breath moved past your ear.

“I’m not done. If you take me and my brothers, we will become lovers. I’m not doing this half-assed.” He stated, before swiftly pressing his lips against your own and pulling back before you could respond, leaving you in the hallway to mull over this decision once again.

#kpop #kpop fic #monsta x fic #monsta x x reader #monsta x x you #ot7 x reader #ot7 x you #kpop fanfic #monsta x #monsta x fanfic

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kpop-uni · 5 years

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Confessions // Chapter One

Choi YoungjaexFem!Reader Based on a serial killer and his documentary Words: 2.6K Warnings: Smut, language, blood, and, eventually, details surrounding the murders. A/N: OOF you guys seemed to like that teaser! Here is chapter one of my short fic! Any theories are welcomed as well as thoughts! Teaser // Chapter Two

You met Youngjae in the most cliche way at the most cliche of places. You were a Science Major, studying biochemistry in your first year at Seoul University. You were in the library, eyes scanning the bookshelves to find the particular book you needed when you caught sight of it, three rows above you. You looked around the small area for the stool that was kept to reach high books when whispers caught your attention.

Right next to you, two males entered the hall of books, each talking about something one of them pointed out in his notebook.

One had circle glasses, eyebrows furrowed as he tried to understand the logic behind the notes. His hair was a chocolate brown color, a warm looking grey sweater with a pair of black jeans on.

The other caught your attention quick. His hair was pushed to the side, colored a strawberry blonde, long and soft looking. He wore a black sweater, rolled up to a bit below the elbows and matching black jeans. He tried to whisper, but his voice went back up to a normal tone before being shushed by his friend.

His hand, without looking up from his notebook once, shot up and grabbed the book right next to the one you needed. You perked up, the thought of the stool leaving your head and you bit your lip.

“Uhm, excuse me?” Your whispered voice brought the two men out of their conversation, looking at you. “Can you maybe reach that book for me? Please?”

The same hand that reached for the previous book, reached for the one you needed, handing it to you. “Thanks,” You smiled brightly at the guy, turning around to head back to your table.

You bumped into him again the following week, at the exact same spot from the previous encounter. You gave him a smile, looking up at the same book you needed. Without a word, he reached for it, handing it to you. With another thanks, you walked back to your table, his eyes lingering on you as you disappeared.

You didn’t have a problem with girls who slept around, it was their body and as long as they were safe, they could do what they want. But you didn’t do that. You weren’t the type to sleep around with just anybody, you wanted to be sure that they were going to be with you for the long run.

So, it was a surprise when you found yourself laying on the library table, shirt and jeans on the ground, bra pulled down your waist, and panties pushed to the side as the guy rammed into you.

You were in the library for five hours, report long finished and only exchanging looks with the mystery guy from across the room. People came and went along the day, but when the library was empty, nothing but the sound of the air vents working, he made his way to you.

His hand covered your mouth, preventing your moans from getting any louder as he panted, hips moving faster to reach his release. “Fuck... fuck!” He hissed, hand moving away from your mouth to your throat. “Young- oh shit- Youngjae... my name is Youngjae...”

You moaned, your name following right after as he moved faster, your name spilling out of his mouth like a mantra. You gripped his wrist with one hand, the other clawing at his bicep, the whispered moans of his name leaving your lips as he panted harder. “That’s it, baby, say my name,”

His head fell back, feeling you clench around him as you came for the second time. With one last thrust, he coated your walls with his release, hand moving from your throat to your waist, holding you tightly.

“Wanna go back to my house?”

You nodded in an instant.

Youngjae had asked you to be his girlfriend after a few dates and you immediately said yes. Months had passed and you met Jinyoung, Youngjae’s best friend and the one with him the first day you met.

A year into the relationship, you hit your first road bump. Youngjae has gone to his family’s house for dinner, but you couldn’t make it. He was so excited for you to meet them that when you couldn’t go because of the snowstorm, Youngjae blamed it on you.

You argued over the phone, yelling at each other and hurling hurtful words that when you hung up, he didn’t look for you in two days. You said things you weren’t proud of, but that could be fixed by admitting your mistakes, learning from them and apologizing.

But there was one other thing you did that wouldn’t be solved with only an apology. The trust would be broke and, even though you didn’t mean for it to happen, you knew Youngjae was going to end the relationship.

When your phone rang for the first time, you sat up from your bed, the phone screen showing the call coming in from your boyfriend. You gulped answering the call and expecting to hear his yells, calling you every mean name in the book but instead, he apologized.

You cried, telling him that you were sorry for everything and he promised to be home soon.

You looked around the destroyed room as he said he was on his way back now, about to board the hour and a half flight to be back with you.

You washed the sheets, and fixed the bookshelf, a task you had put off after everything was knocked off, and you made sure food was ready for when your boyfriend came home. You were immediately engulfed in a tight hug when he arrived, lips on your neck as if the kisses could make up for everything he said over the phone.

“I’m so sorry... I love you so much, I’m such an idiot.”

Youngjae ate, telling you about his cousins and how his parents are taking a trip down so they can meet you. You gave Youngjae a better idea, planning another weekend trip to surprise his parents.

“Baby? Why is there a broken picture frame here?”

Right behind the bookshelf in your shared room, right on the corner which you missed from frantically getting everything ready, was a picture frame of the two of you. The glass was cracked but it didn’t liter the floor, everything still staying in place. Youngjae inspected the area, frowning at the little figurines that were out of place, figurines you never touched as they were only for display.

“Maybe it fell? I’m not so sure. I dusted the bookshelf so maybe I moved it and it fell?” Youngjae took the frame to the kitchen, and without another question, took the photo out and tossed the useless frame away.

“I’ll buy a new one tomorrow,”

Your friends gushed about how lucky you were to have someone like Youngjae in your life. How they wished someone held them and surprised them as he did with you. And, in fact, you knew they were a little jealous of all the times he left a stuffed animal, a flower or a note on your desk during one of your classes. How he always had your hand in his, an arm around your shoulders or waist or how he held you from behind, eyes closed and relaxed.

You couldn’t help but blush as one stated that he always looked at you like you made his life brighter than ever before. And to be fair, they were right.

Youngjae grew up in a happy and healthy home. Surrounded by loving parents, siblings that cared for him, cousins that invited him out. He hated to admit it but his entire family favored him and he knew it, but he didn’t take advantage of it. But when Youngjae went off to college, the feeling of homesick hit hard until you arrived.

Youngjae wanted nothing more than to arrive home with you in his hold, eager to show his whole family the one person he loved and cherished. And as planned, that weekend you both would be going to meet them.

But the trip never came.

You did meet his mom, but who wants to meet their boyfriend's mom in a courtroom? Especially when their child and the love of your life is being accused of murder?

You sat next to his mother, her hand in yours as the court began.

“Case number 785,” The judge took a seat, the courtroom slightly buzzing with whispered talks, cameras aligned around the room. You heard about the murders, everyone did. The girls who were kidnapped from their dorms or right off the streets, beaten to death with blunt objects and strung out of the street for the world to see. It was horrible. Youngjae never let you out of his sight because of them, and you never minded. You didn't go out after dark, if you had to, Youngjae was with you.

But for Youngjae to be accused for six of the twenty-something? That was too much.

You fidgeted in your seat, the cameras rolling, a few pointed to you and Youngjae’s family. You heard on the news that evidence pointed to your boyfriend, fingerprints matching up with those of the six girls who went to school with you, one being an old classmate. Half of the media was sure that you had no idea after interviewing mutual friends. The other half thought you disgusting for even dating a murderer.

Mrs. Choi gripped your hand when Youngjae stepped out, handcuffed and in an orange jumpsuit. He kept his head down, too ashamed to look at his mother or you, instead only settling with looking at his feet.

You felt the air leave your lungs as his neat, blue hair was frizzy, wild and faded out. He was due for another salon session, he said he wanted to go black but now he had to settle with this faded blue.

When court started, the lawyer that took on the defensive case only brought out the evidence being Youngjae’s fingerprints, showing them to the jury.

“I was friends with them. It’s not a small school but we bumped into each other here and there. Obviously, my fingerprints are on their things because I could carry books for them or I would help them with homework.”

You smiled softly at how nice Youngjae was, always helping everyone and making sure they were on top of things. His strongest subject was math and he always made sure you were set and ready for tests by tutoring you.

“You were charged a few years back with assault, weren’t you, Mr. Choi?” The lawyer asked, making you frown.

It hit you that Youngjae’s fingerprints were in the system already. Which means this wasn’t his first time in jail. You frowned, looking at a flustered Youngjae who cleared his throat.

“I was 17, I just happened to be at the wrong place and at the wrong time. I saw the blood-stained rock and grabbed it. I tried to help the man,”

“Objection your honor my client was found innocent,”

“But the murderer was never caught,”

Court continued, pinning Youngjae as the murderer and the lawyer desperately trying to pin it on him. You fiddled in your seat, looking between both lawyers as they argued, your eyes finally landing on Youngjae again.

He stared at you, eyes dull like the life had been sucked out. You couldn’t help the tears that spilled out, Youngjae’s cuffs clinking as he shifted, wanting nothing more than to hold you. You covered your face with your hands, trying your best to stop until Mrs. Choi held you, shushing you softly.

“I’m giving you one last chance, Mr. Wang.” The judge looked over at the lawyer, watching as he fixed his suit, straightening himself. “You have one week to bring me evidence on Mr. Choi, if you can’t find anything, we let him go-“

“But your honor-“

“Do I make myself clear?”

With the booming of his voice, Jackson sighed, nodding his head as he sat down, agreeing. “This case will resume in one week,”

You stood up, rushing to Youngjae as he moved away from the officer, meeting you halfway as you crashed your lips to his. “One week and you’re back with me. Stay strong, okay?” The words were rushed when you pulled away, Youngjae nodded, moving closer to you.

"You know I'm innocent, right?" Youngjae struggled against the officer's hold, getting closer to you again.

"Of course! You wouldn't hurt anyone!" You frantically pulled him to you, giving him one last kiss before he was pulled away. You covered your mouth, Youngjae watching you as he was dragged back, taken away.

"My son spoke so many lovely things about you," You handed Mrs. Choi the cup of coffee, taking a seat on the couch beside her, hands on your lap. You invited her over, offering her to stay with you but she politely declined, already paying for a month in advance at the hotel she chose.

"Did he?" You couldn't help the smile lighten on your face, growing slightly shy. "He said so much about you and your husband. He was always so excited whenever you called,"

Your smile fell at the thought of Youngjae being in his cell, almost crying all over again. "How could they think he did that? He never hurt anyone,"

"I know, Youngjae wouldn't be capable of hurting people." Mrs. Choi set her mug down, scooting toward you and gently reaching for your hands, holding them tightly in hers. "Right now, he needs us to be strong and be by his side." You nodded, calming yourself down.

After a few hours, Mrs. Choi excused herself, leaving before sundown. You held yourself in the silent living room, face tucked into your arm. You felt helpless, not knowing where to go from this situation. You wanted to help Youngjae, but you didn't know how or let alone where to even start.

You looked up from the knock on your front door, getting up to look into the peephole. You closed your eyes, sighing softly at the person and hesitating, a few more knocks making you pull back from the door, opening it.

"Hey, I just wanted to make sure you were fine,"

You looked up at Jinyoung, gulping down the nerves. "Yeah, I'm okay... I'm just shaken up a bit,"

Without another word, Jinyoung stepped inside, closing and locking the front door, towing you back to the couch. "I know this is all really hard on you right now," Jinyoung sat you down, sitting next to you and holding your hands.

"Why him?" You whispered out, looking at Jinyoung, holding in more tears. "He wouldn't do this-"

"Exactly, he wouldn't do this," Jinyoung squeezed your hands, watching as you openly cried, letting him hold you. "Shh, it's okay, sweetheart. It's going to be okay,"

The silence from the house suffocated you, Jinyoung taking the remote from the side table, turning it on and settling on a movie. A few minutes into it, you took the remote from Jinyoung and flipped the channels to a few local stations, catching one right in the middle of the conversation.

"To me, it seems odd. They only have fingerprint evidence and even then, he was known to tutor fellow classmates. I don't think that's enough to lock him up,"

"I have to agree, the amount of lacking evidence we have is just shocking. All that's left is for his girlfriend to testify that he was either with her or any of his friends-"

You let out a relieved sigh, watching the cast talk about Youngjae, hands trembling as they continued to take his side. Jinyoung looked at you, watching you finally relax, almost smiling at the news. His eyes shifted back to the TV, staying silent as the reporters took the side of his best friend.

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krreader · 5 years

Text

EXO reacting to you and your teenage child fighting.

pairing: exo x reader fandom: exo warnings: language ; mentions of sex genre: crack ; angst ; mentions of smut

a/n: you don’t know how happy you made me for requesting something exo related, so I really hope you like it!!!!

kim minseok

The day had started out so well. He and you had sex this morning, then he had taken his youngest children out to the playground, had come home to the best lunch from the best wife in the world, had spent the evening with former members and then come home to.. well.. this.

“You're just angry because you know you're not attractive anymore! You know that I'm prettier than you and that makes you upset!”

You stared at her with your mouth open, then you started laughing. Wholeheartedly.

“You seriously think I'm jealous of you? Sweetheart, I don't think you realize how proud I am that you’re this beautiful..-”

Not the response your daughter had expected. She was looking for a fight, apparently.

And well, Minseok was on your side here. He didn't think this would have to end in a fight.

“Your mother is right. We really are proud of you for being so beautiful, but..-” and then he decided that it was time for payback. Because nobody talks to his wife like that, not even his oldest daughter, “I do have to say that it's always incredible to see your mother's face when she has an orgasm. Makes me think there is nothing more beautiful than that..”

And even though he was looking at you and you at him, you could both hear your daughter gagging and then running upstairs.

“Childhood trauma, sweetheart,” you said, however, a small smile on your face.

“She deserves that one, though.”

kim junmyeon

What do you do when your child suddenly yells at your wife, the mother of said child? Do you punish the child? Do you try to laugh about it? Do you comfort your wife first?

Junmyeon tried to figure all of that out as it happened, the words of his son still echoing in his ear.

“You're the worst person on this fucking planet, mom!”

A glance in your direction told him you were upset, but also angry. A glance in his son's direction told him he was ready to continue if he wasn’t stopped.

So Junmyeon decided to get you and him away from each other for now.

“Youngjae, go up to your room right now and no, there will be no discussion about it. You and I will talk later. Alone,” he waited for him to get up and leave, his eyes following him every step of the way. Then he turned his head back to you and grabbed your hands, “And you.. don't try to take it to heart, alright? He's a teenager now. He doesn't mean it, he just can't control what he's saying anymore.”

“We didn't raise him to be an asshole, Jun,” you shook your head, “I'm more disappointed in myself than in him.”

“Don't be.. please. I promise that it's just a phase. Give it a few weeks, maybe a month or two, but he'll be normal again soon.”

He better be.

zhang yixing

“Dad! Say something!”

That was the first thing Yixing heard when he walked into his house. He couldn't even take off his shoes before his daughter dragged him into the living room where he found you standing with crossed arms.

“What's going on?”

“She's having a bad day,” you said with a sigh, “Your father won't have a different opinion than me. You're too young to go on that trip.”

“Well, you were nineteen when dad got you pregnant, so what's your excuse, huh?! Being a slut?!”

You wanted to yell at her for that, but your husband just wrapped an arm around your shoulder and kissed your temple.

“Her excuse is that she looked so fucking hot that I had no other choice but to fuck her against the hood of my car.”

Mic fucking drop.

Needless to say, she did not go on that trip, because she stopped arguing after that sentence.

She didn't want to talk to either one of you for a little while now.

byun baekhyun

“I could call you every ten minutes so you know I'm not drunk or high,” your son tried to argue.

You were sitting in bed, nonchalantly skipping through the pages of your magazine, while your husband was waking out of the bathroom.

“What's this about?”

“He wants to get high with his friends.”

“No! Fucking hell, mom, you're not even listening to me! Are you stupid or did dad fuck out your brain cells?!”

He didn't think about his words properly. He should have.

He expected a scolding, but instead, his father did something much more worse.

“I don't know, I think a few of them are still in there,” he pursued his lips and then looked at you, “What do you think, (Y/N)? Should I fuck them out as well?”

“Please do..-”

And when Baekhyun crawled on top of you, that was the moment his son sprinted out of the house and decided to stay at a friend's place tonight.

No way he'd listen to his parents have sex.

kim jongdae

“Don't you think I'm old enough to decide for myself when I start dating, mom?!” your daughter followed you downstairs, quickly looking at her father and her baby sister sitting on the floor and playing something she was too old for.

“You're fourteen. He's nineteen. Not only is the age gap too big, but it's also illegal.”

“You're so fucking stiff, mom. It's so obvious that you're not having enough sex.”

Jongdae turned his head from his little daughter to his older one, then again to you, before both you and him started laughing.

“It's funny you say, that..-” you sat down on the couch and grinned at her, “Because I'm pregnant again. Not the way I wanted you to find out but while we’re at it..”

“Stop shitting me, you two are too old to have another baby.”

“Actually, we were too young when we had you,” Jongdae said, a smug look on his face, “So now that we're older, we figured we might as well have a few more. So congratulations. You'll be a big sister again!”

Probably not what she wanted to hear today by the way she stormed off, but you and your husband couldn't care less.

park chanyeol

He came home late that night, had been out with his former members.

But when he walked upstairs, he found his son sitting in front of your shared bedroom, his head hanging low in shame.

“What the hell are you doing?” he laughed, thinking he might be drunk and couldn’t go to his room.

“I.. I fucked up, dad.”

It was the nature of a parent to worry instantly. So Chanyeol crouched down in front of him and started inspecting his face for wounds, but his son gently pushed his hands away.

“What happened?”

“Well,” he didn't want to tell his father, but he knew he would have to, “I had.. a girl over. It's not serious, we're just.. messing around with each other. And mom came in with the laundry and found us and.. I don't know, I just started screaming at her to get out and I said a bunch of mean things and.. god, I didn't want to, okay? I just panicked.”

And then his worry for his son shifted to worry for his wife. He immediately got up from the floor and knocked twice, before he carefully entered his bedroom.

He found you lying in your bed, the blankets up to your chin.

And when he laid down behind you and pulled you against him, his heart shattered with the way you started sobbing.

Not what he had hoped to come home to.

do kyungsoo

You had both tried your hardest to have a normal conversation with your daughter, but while you tried to keep your voices low, she just continued screaming.

Until she suddenly said: “I wish you weren't my mother!”

And that wasn't fair. Because it wasn't just you who was not letting her go to that party, it was your husband as well. But it seems like whenever something like this happened, she went off at you. You were always the bad guy.

Only that this time, she crossed a line that made you get up and leave the room.

Your daughter was breathing heavily, slowly regretting her words, but only fully understanding what she had done when she looked at her father.

“I've never been more disappointed in you, you know that?” he got up with a heavy sigh, “This woman sacrificed everything when she found out she was pregnant. She knew I wouldn't be there a lot, so she gave up her career to take care of you. And this is how you repay her?”

“Dad, I didn't..-”

“Zip it. I don't want to hear it,” he buried his hands in the pockets of his pants and walked past her, “Go to that stupid party if you want to. But leave your mother alone for now,” and with that, he walked up the stairs to comfort you.

She didn't go.

Instead, she made dinner that night and breakfast the next morning, hoping she would calm the situation down a little..

kim jongin

It happened over dinner.

Your son had been in a bad mood all night long and neither you, nor Jongin knew the reason behind it. But throughout your seventeen years of being a mother you realized one thing: sometimes it's just better to let them be before they snap.

But while you and your husband knew that, your youngest daughter didn't. She just wanted to play with her oldest brother, so she kept poking him, hoping he would do it back like he usually did.

But instead he started yelling: “Will you fucking stop?! I swear to god, all women in this household are fucking stupid. You're just like mom.”

“Oooookay, that's the moment I leave,” your other son, only two years younger than your oldest got up and picked a crying younger sister up to carry her upstairs, “Come on. Let them talk it out. You and I can play with each other.. how about a tea party, hm?” he tried to soothe her as he walked away.

“What did you just say?” Jongin asked, his voice incredibly low. So much that your son had to gulp.

“I.. I didn't mean to snap, I was just..-”

“This is about me?” you narrowed your eyes at him, “What did I do?”

“You didn't want to let me go to that party last night. And.. and they said everyone was there. Everyone but me.”

“Because the last time we let you go to a party, you came back piss drunk, despite us giving you the one and only rule not to drink!” Jongin threw his napkin on the table. Angrily so, “You will apologize to your mother first, then to your sister. Then you will go upstairs and stay in your room until I come and talk to you alone. Understood?”

“Yes, Sir,” he said, not wanting to anger his father any further.

And once your son had said he was sorry and went upstairs, you turned your head to Jongin and said: “It's probably bad timing, but.. you just made me really horny.”

Needless to say, his son had to wait a little longer.

oh sehun

Yeah, he was a little overwhelmed.

He has never seen his daughter and you fight like this, so when he stood in the living room and found you two screaming at each other, he looked a little out of place.

“It's been going on for an hour now,” his son, and also the twin of the one screaming at his mother right now, said, a spoon in his mouth and a bowl full of ice cream in his hand.

“And you apparently made good use of that, hm?” Sehun raised his eyebrows at the amount of ice cream that he was eating so close to dinner time, but his son just shrugged with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Anyways, I'll be upstairs and play some Overwatch if you need me, I don't really want to deal with this today. Join me if you want, I'll leave some ice cream for you.”

At first Sehun really thought about whether or not he should intervene, but it seemed like you handled it all rather well. You always were the one with the pants in this relationship after all.

So what he did was go upstairs, eat ice cream with his son and play Overwatch with him until you two were finished with the screaming match downstairs.

#kpop #kpop imagines #kpop reactions #reader #exo imagine #exo reactions #exo x reader #exo #requests

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inyournightmares97 · 5 years

Text

The Leading Lady

Im Jaebum wants to make a short film, and you end up as his leading lady.

Warnings: MAJOR Cringe, fluff and a little language. College!au

Word Count: 11.6k

Dedicated to my buddy, the soft Jaebum stan: @ijustwantacue!

Im Jaebum had adorable hands.

You noticed them the very first time you met him on a warm Saturday afternoon. It had been a long week of academic work and you had finally submitted a bunch of papers that were long due. Relieved, you intended to spend the entire day watching television and languishing in your apartment to enjoy the newly-repaired air conditioning. It would have been perfect had Jackson Wang not texted you at 2 pm and told you that he was in the park across from your apartment. Apparently you needed to come down instantly, it was an emergency.

You ran down with your hair still in a messy bun and wearing your sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt. It wasn’t until you spotted Jackson sitting on the park bench that you realized you shouldn’t have taken his words too seriously. Dammnit, your sweatpants even had a hole in them. Why hadn’t you taken five seconds to change into jeans? What sort of emergency could Jackson be having at the park, anyway?

Evidently, it was the non-urgent kind.

Jackson was sitting next to another guy and chatting with him casually. Both men looked up at you as you arrived. You flushed, out of breath and confused.

“Jackson! What is it? What happened?”

Jackson grinned at you. “Hey! That was quick! Did you run?”

“You told me you needed help-“

“Yeah, yeah! Sit down,” he insisted, moving over to make room for you on the bench. You sat down awkwardly and glanced at the other man. His dark eyes were fixed on you as though he was analyzing you for some purpose and you felt extremely uncomfortable. You crossed your legs together and tugged at Jackson’s sleeve impatiently.

“Jackson, what’s going on-“

“Meet my buddy Im Jaebum,” Jackson introduced you to the other man enthusiastically. You turned and forced a polite smile in Jaebum’s direction. His face was still unsmiling and his small eyes narrowed at you. Jaebum reached across Jackson to offer you a handshake, and you hesitantly complied. Your eyes nervously looked down at his hand because looking at Jaebum’s face was making you flustered. His hands were small and his fingers were short. You could feel the softness of his skin against yours.

His hands were like a baby’s.

“H-hi,” you greeted nervously.

“Jaebum’s a film student,” Jackson explained to you enthusiastically, not noticing how your handshake was lingering in front of him. “He and his group are working on a short film for his final project and they’re having trouble finding a female lead.”

You swallowed and nodded, slowly withdrawing your hand from Jaebum’s and trying to collect yourself. For some reason, all you could think about was the hole that you knew was in your sweatpants (why had you put them on knowing that they were torn?) and how Jaebum might see it. You folded your hands in your lap and tried to focus on Jackson.

“Oh? That’s really interesting. What sort of film-“

“I suggested you!” Jackson cried enthusiastically.

You stared at him, trying to see through the cloud in your mind. “Sorry, what? You suggested me for what?”

Jaebum leaned over and cut off Jackson. His voice was calm and deep, and it sent shivers down your spine. It was almost scary how intimidating yet attractive this man was.

“I was hoping that you would agree to act as the female lead in my short film. Jackson showed me some pictures of you and you’re exactly how my team and I visualized the role,” Jaebum informed you calmly.

You gaped at him for a long moment. “Wait…you want me to act? I don’t have any acting experience!”

“That’s the best part! You barely have to act at all!” Jackson insisted. The enormous grin on his face was infectious. What was he so excited about? It wasn’t even his film. “I had a look at the script and the main female character is almost exactly like you. She’s a writer and she’s just kind of dorky and a little bit of a mess while still being weirdly cynical about life. You don’t need to worry. It’s not a glamorous lead role at all. It fits you perfectly!”

Wow. Thanks, Jackson.

“I don’t want to put any pressure on you,” Jaebum reassured you calmly. He reached up and ran his fingers through his dark hair as he blinked at you. The simple action made your heart skip a beat. “Obviously, it’s not something everyone is comfortable with. It might also require a bit of a time commitment and I can’t afford to pay you for the appearances although I will ask my professor to see if he can offer you some academic credits.”

You nodded. “I see.”

Jaebum reached into his backpack and pulled out a small transparent file which he offered to you. You took it from him, eyes flickering once more to his soft hands. A Conversation, the black lettering on the first page read. “This is the basic outline of the script. The scriptwriter is still working on some of the final details but you can find the general gist of it. You can take a look and get back to me in a few days. You’ll find my contact number inside too.”

Jackson grinned. “Come on! Of course she’ll do it!” He nudged you playfully. “It’s not like you have anything better to do with your time, right?”

You gritted your teeth. “Shut up, Jackson.”

Jaebum ignored Jackson’s antics, evidently well used to them.

“Please don’t feel pressured,” he added. “We’ll mostly shoot on weekends and we can be pretty flexible about scheduling, if that’s something you need. But I really hope you’ll take a look at the script before you make your decision.”

You nodded. “I will.”

You noticed how small Jaebum’s fingers were when you realized they barely went all the way around the coffee mug he was holding.

The second time you met Im Jaebum was at a coffee shop two days later. You’d spent all night reading and re-reading the script while contemplating whether you were really capable of acting in a film. You didn’t have much experience in front of a camera and you’d never thought of yourself as very emotionally expressive. But the script was intriguing and Jackson had been right. The character was a lot like you. She shared similar thoughts and fears. It was just…

“The romance part is the problem,” you told Jaebum honestly, pointing at the script while he calmly took a sip of his coffee. There were two large silver rings on his right hand today. Jaebum’s fingers tapped the mug lightly while he listened to you speak. “I really like the characters and I really like how the opening conversation goes. But some of the dialogues… honestly, they seem like they were written by somebody who has absolutely no understanding of women.”

To your surprise, Jaebum’s lips curved into a handsome smirk. “Yeah, that sounds like Park Jinyoung. I don’t think he’s ever dated a woman in his life. But he seemed to have an interesting plot idea so I let him on board my team as the scriptwriter.”

You bit your lip. “So can I make some changes to the dialogue?”

“Depends. Does that mean you’re agreeing to be the main actress?”

“Only if you’ll let me tweak the script,” you insisted.

Jaebum stared at you for a short moment before giving you a small chuckle. “Yeah, okay. But if Jinyoung gets mad then that’s on you. He’s my roommate and I don’t want him suffocating me with a pillow while I sleep because I dared to mess with his script.”

“Is he that scary?” you asked doubtfully.

Jaebum ignored your question and simply took another sip of his coffee. “Why don’t you make whatever changes you want to make and we’ll all meet up this weekend to lay out a filming schedule? The completed film isn’t due until the end of the semester but I don’t want to rush and have to do all the filming at once. We have to figure out some locations too.”

You nodded eagerly. A small part of you leapt in excitement. You’d never been a part of something like this before and the smile on your face revealed your innocent enthusiasm. Jaebum couldn’t help but smile at you himself. He had been a little doubtful when Jackson first recommended his ‘really good buddy’ for the role but after seeing your adorable smile and beautiful eyes Jaebum knew that he’d made the right choice.

You were the perfect protagonist for his romance film. After all, if Jaebum found you so sweet and adorable then surely the audience would fall for you too, right?

Park Jinyoung was not pleased with the changes you made to his script.

He didn’t say so outright, of course. He merely looked at the edited script with his lips pressed together and made a small ‘hmph’ing noise before proceeding to sit as far away from you as possible. There was nothing much you could do while Jaebum proceeded to discuss the filming locations for each scene. You were also promptly introduced to the rest of Jaebum’s film-making project team. Youngjae, the cheerful technology student who would be the cameraman. Bambam, the flirtatious modelling student who was in charge of wardrobe and make-up. And finally Yugyeom the dance major who was…

Actually, you weren’t sure what Yugyeom was meant to be doing. You got the feeling that he didn’t really know why he was there either.

Jaebum was all work and no play. He insisted on laying out an elaborate schedule for the next few weeks, including rehearsals and filming time as well as clearly dividing out the responsibilities. Jaebum rarely smiled throughout the entire meeting but his passion and seriousness for the project were unmistakable. You found yourself feeling even more excited to work with him. Jaebum had set a professional atmosphere about the whole thing, which was impressive considering that Bambam and Yugyeom kept trying to crack jokes throughout the meeting.

“I hope you’re not overwhelmed?” Jaebum asked, once everyone else had dispersed from the little café that served as the team’s meeting spot. (Jinyoung had subtly bumped your chair as he walked out. You had a feeling he had done it on purpose.) “I don’t want you to feel like you got yourself too deep into something.”

You shook your head and beamed. “I’m fine. I’m actually really excited to be doing this!”

“Good. The guy I cast as the main lead couldn’t be here today because he had class. But you, me, him and Jinyoung can meet up on Wednesday and do a quick script reading to get things going. Is that okay with you?”

“Yeah! Sounds great!” you replied.

Jaebum glanced at you and chuckled. “Are you usually this enthusiastic about everything?”

You bit your lip and shook your head. “No, not really…” you tried to say, but your smile wouldn’t disappear. Jaebum merely raised his eyebrows at you in amusement. You flushed pink and smoothed down your shirt awkwardly. “Okay, the truth is that I’ve always kind of wanted to act. I tried out for a couple of plays in high school but there was this girl who was much prettier than me and she always got the roles I wanted. I was always the reject. So I guess I’m a little excited,” you admitted shyly.

“Is that so? Maybe I should give her a call and see if she’ll take your place here, too.”

You stared at him, appalled for a moment until you saw that Jaebum had a small, mischievous smirk on his face. Was he teasing you? You hadn’t imagined that such a stone-faced man could be capable of joking around. You frowned at him.

“Hey!” you cried, offended.

Jaebum raised an eyebrow coolly. “What? You said it yourself, you’re the reject. I didn’t even ask you for that information. You just randomly volunteered it.”

“I mean… yeah, I said it. But it’s kind of mean for you to say it,” you complained. But Jaebum still looked amused. He ignored the small pout of your lips and reached out to pat your head in a fond manner. Something about your loose tongue and indignant expression was adorable. He simply cut you off before you could complain further.

“I have to go. I’ll see you on Saturday. Oh, and about your enthusiasm…”

“Tone it down?” you wondered, already used to being told that you got overexcited.

Jaebum shook his head and smiled.

“No. Keep it. I like it.”

Im Jaebum was fiddling with the pencil in his hands and it was distracting you. He was wearing different rings on different fingers today and you wondered how many rings he owned. Jaebum deftly twirled the pen around but his hand and fingers were so small that it looked awkward.

You stifled a giggle as you remembered that this big, broad-shouldered, scary man had baby hands.

“I can’t believe they’re taking so long,” Jaebum complained. The weather was nice and so you and Jaebum had sat at one of the outdoor tables of the coffee shop while you waited for Jinyoung and the male lead to turn up. “I told Jinyoung to get here on time. Mark’s probably the one that’s late.”

You blinked. “Mark? Is that the name of the guy that’s playing the male lead?”

“Yeah, Mark Tuan.”

You gaped at Jaebum in horror. “Mark Tuan?” you demanded. Your brain had gone numb. You couldn’t think anymore. You simply stared at Jaebum with your mouth open. “You mean… you mean captain of the college baseball team, Mark Tuan? The one who keeps winning championships for our university?”

Jaebum stared at you. “Yeah. He’s a friend of Jinyoung’s and he agreed to work with us, just like you did. Is there some problem?”

“No,” you squeaked.

“Evidently there is, you just turned green,” Jaebum pointed out while jabbing his pencil in the direction of your cheeks. He raised an eyebrow when you stubbornly pressed your lips together and shook your head firmly. Then Jaebum slammed the pencil down on the table and frowned at you. “Are you not going to tell me what you’re worried about? As the director, don’t you think I should know if the female lead has some problem with the male lead?”

You swallowed, a little scared because Jaebum was now glaring at you. “It’s not a problem, exactly…”

“Then what is it?”

“I just… I just thought it would be hard to maintain the chemistry,” you admitted in a small voice. You were beginning to feel a little stupid now. You should have just kept your mouth shut. “Because, you know. In a romance story the male and female leads should sort of be balanced in the looks department but Mark Tuan is Mark Tuan and I’m…”

Jaebum’s eyes softened. “You’re what?”

You flushed red. “Come on. Mark Tuan is out of my league, you know that! Are you really going to make me say it?”

“I had to make you say it because I didn’t know what you were getting at,” Jaebum told you honestly. He rested his chin on his hand as he blinked at you. You felt yourself becoming more flustered as his eyes scanned your face. Was Jaebum judging how you would look next to Mark? Was he maybe realizing that he should have chosen a prettier actress to act beside the college heartthrob? Your heartbeat thudded as he stared at you calmly with his emotionless eyes and then nodded.

“Okay,” he said finally.

“Okay?” you repeated, confused.

Jaebum simply nodded as he turned back to the script in his hands. “Yeah. Okay. Oh look, I got a message from Jinyoung. He and Mark are right outside. Let’s get this over with quickly and do a run-through, yeah? I have class this afternoon and it’s not like you and Mark aren’t already familiar with the script. You edited it, after all.”

You didn’t have time to press him further because Mark and Jinyoung both entered the cafe and joined you at the table. Jinyoung sat down with a simple glare in your direction. Mark, on the other hand, gave you a polite smile and introduced himself. You turned red and sank down into your seat in embarrassment. It wasn’t until Jaebum frowned at you and told you to start reading off the script that you hurriedly complied.

You managed to relax after a while and the script reading went surprisingly well. Jinyoung’s frown intensified whenever one of your edited dialogues came up, but Mark was excellent at his lines and Jaebum seemed satisfied with both his lead actors. He occasionally made you both stop and repeat your lines when the tone or the emotion was off. Once the entire script had been run through, he clapped his hands together.

“All right! This was good, guys. I like the feel of the whole thing. I think we can start filming next week.”

“Cool, man,” Mark said.

“So this is the final version of the script we’re using?” Jinyoung wondered, a hint of acidity to his tone.

“Why, do you have some problem with it?” Jaebum asked.

Jinyoung scoffed. “Me? I wouldn’t dare. What do I know about scriptwriting? Anyway, Mark and I have class in a bit so we’re going to get going. See you guys later.”

Both Jinyoung and Mark hurried to leave. Jaebum began gathering his things and stuffing his script into his backpack. You hovered near him for a moment and cleared your throat nervously. “Um. Jaebum-ssi…”

He glanced at you. “Yeah?”

“Do you think Jinyoung is really mad about me changing his script a little?”

Jaebum only smiled and shook his head as he slung his backpack over his shoulder. His fingers closed on the straps as he looked at you with his dark eyes. “Relax. If he really didn’t like your changes to the script then he would have insisted that we change it back. He’s only being like this because he knows your version is better than his, and he’s bitter that he has to accept it.”

You breathed out nervously. “Okay, if you say so…”

“Want to walk back to campus together?”

You blinked in surprise and then nodded, quickly gathering your things and following Jaebum out of the café. Even though he seemed a little stiff and hard to understand, you still got really warm vibes from Im Jaebum, somehow. Maybe he wasn’t as serious and scary as he seemed. Jaebum’s small smiles made your heart flutter a little bit. He wasn’t as handsome as, say, Mark Tuan, but Jaebum was charming in his own way.

“Why are you studying film?” you asked casually, as you bounced beside him and tried to keep up with his long strides. Jaebum wasn’t extremely tall but he walked fast and with purpose.

He blinked at you. “Why am I studying film?” he repeated.

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know. I guess I like films.”

You frowned in disappointment. “What, that’s it?”

“What other reason would somebody have for studying film?” he asked you with a raised eyebrow.

You shrugged. “I don’t know. But you’re so serious about this project and you seem to be spending so much time planning out this short film while most people just half-ass their work so… I guess I expected your response to be more passionate? You seemed like a really dedicated guy so I thought you would have a backstory or something driving you. I don’t know.”

“Hmm,” Jaebum muttered thoughtfully. “Why are you a Literature major, then?”

“I love books!” you chirped.

Jaebum stopped walking suddenly and stared down at you, a hint of annoyance in his expression. You were forced to halt your own steps. “How is that any different from me saying I like films? For someone who expects others to have a backstory for selecting their major, your own is severely lacking.”

“But it’s different,” you pointed out.

“How?”

“I said ‘I love books!’” you chirped once more, before putting on a small frown and mimicking Jaebum’s emotionless face and deep matter-of-fact tone. “While you said, ‘I guess I like films.’ Can’t you tell the difference? The difference is in enthusiasm! It’s in the passion! You can’t speak about your passion like that! ”

Jaebum stared down at you in disbelief before letting out a small sigh and then resuming walking. “Why am I even surprised? I should have known.”

“Should have known what?”

“That no friend of Jackson Wang’s can be entirely normal,” he replied. Jaebum’s strides were becoming longer and faster and you had to struggle to keep pace with him on the sidewalk. But you could see the small curve of his lips. Im Jaebum wasn’t as serious as he pretended to be and you decided that you rather liked pushing him so that his stern surface cracked and let through a smile. “Besides. I know that I like films, I don’t need to prove it to you by squealing excitedly every time films are mentioned.”

“I didn’t squeal,” you complained. “And how would anyone know you love films if you talk about them in such a dead-pan tone?”

“Not everyone visibly shows excitement like you. In fact, I think you should be a little bit concerned about how easy your emotions are to read,” Jaebum pointed out to you. “You look like the kind of person who would never be able to keep a secret because she’d just blurt it out the moment she heard it. Am I wrong?”

“I’m… not great with secrets,” you admitted reluctantly. “But I stand by my point. Shouldn’t somebody who has a passion for something get excited about that passion, and want to share it with others? Like, shouldn’t you want to tell me how amazing films are and how much they’ve impacted your life and how everyone should watch films? Because that’s how I feel about Literature.”

Jaebum chuckled. “You really think so?”

“Yeah!”

“Okay. I’ll share my passion for films with you. I’m headed to class now, but meet me at 7 pm outside of the local theatre. I’ll show you how passionate about films I can be.”

You beamed. “Okay!”

Jaebum wasn’t lying.

You had been a little excited at the thought of going to a movie with Im Jaebum. Maybe it was because he was handsome and even though this was surely not a date, it had been a while since you’d spent time with an attractive guy. So you’d put on a nice skirt and maybe spent a few extra minutes on your hair. Maybe you could have a fun evening.

You were wrong.

Apparently the local theatre screened old movies on weekday nights when there was hardly anyone around. Jaebum bought the tickets and you both settled down with a small bucket of popcorn. And then the true torture of the evening began.

Im Jaebum would not shut up.

He spoke throughout the entire film. Even before it started, Jaebum began telling you the entire history of the film: how many awards the director had won and what other films he had made previous to this one. Jaebum knew everything. He knew the exact box office collections the film (which was from the 80s) had made in its first week and he knew what personal events in the life of the writer had influenced the plot. By the time the opening credits had finished rolling you’d received an entire history lesson about the film.

Then it only got worse. As the story began, some vague scene in black and white about a wartime romance, Jaebum went even further into the details. He began telling you about the camera technology used to film each shot. He knew which lines were scripted and which the actors had improvised. Whenever there would be a short silence and he had nothing to say about a particular scene, you caught him silently mouthing the dialogues to himself.

It would have been extremely annoying if there hadn’t been a certain excited sparkle in Jaebum’s eyes. This really meant something to him and you suddenly felt a little guilty for accusing him of not having any passion for films.

“So? What did you think of the film?” Jaebum demanded once the movie was over and the theatre lights turned on. Your eyes snapped open and you tried to look awake. You’d drifted off for the last twenty minutes of the movie while Jaebum had ranted about how clever the lighting techniques they’d used were.

“Uhh…”

He raised an eyebrow. “You fell asleep, didn’t you?”

“What? No!” you defended yourself firmly. “I watched the whole thing, I really did! It was an excellent film! And your, uh… your trivia really made it even more interesting. I honestly had a wonderful time! You really are passionate about films!” you gave him a small thumbs up, hoping he would fall for it.

Jaebum couldn’t help but chuckle. He had noticed you drifting off during his rant because your head had suddenly jerked forward a few times, the way it does when someone is trying really hard to stay awake. Your hair had become a mess in the back and you had opened your eyes wide to hide the tiredness. Jaebum had never seen anything more adorable.

“Do you regret accusing me of not being passionate about films?” he questioned, with a mischievous grin.

You frowned. “Wait, you did this on purpose?”

“Of course I did. How can I have my lead actress doubting my passion for films? I figured one night of torture would teach you a lesson,” he grinned. He stood up and then offered you a hand to help you get out of the comfy theatre seat. You slipped your hand into his and stood up with a pout.

“You could have just said I love films, you didn’t need to put me through an evening of torture if you knew that was what you were doing,” you complained. Your back was stiff and you stretched as the two of you walked out of the theatre. You turned and smiled at him playfully, nudging the large man. “Or did you maybe want to go to a movie with me? You know, as a date?”

Jaebum stared at you for a moment and then scoffed. “Excuse me? Is that what you thought?”

You pouted. “You can just say no, you don’t have to be mean about it.”

He smirked at you, his eyes flashing mischievously. “I wasn’t being mean. I just don’t understand how a woman who thinks that Mark Tuan is out of her league thought that she had a chance with me. How does that work in your brain?”

“Wait. Does that mean you think you’re better than Mark Tuan?” you demanded.

“Of course I am. I get plenty of women.”

“Oh really?” you teased, bouncing along beside him as you both exited the movie theatre. It was dark outside and Jaebum automatically turned in the direction of your apartment. You followed him with a smile. “And what exactly is so charming about you? Besides your passion for old films that would put any girl to sleep?”

Jaebum scoffed. “I don’t need to list out my charms to you.”

“So then you don’t have any.”

“No, I just think it’s beneath me to list them.”

You grinned and bumped your shoulder against his, ignoring the annoyed look that he gave you. You weren’t sure why, but you suddenly weren’t scared of Im Jaebum anymore. Perhaps it was because you had seen the childish and innocent side to him tonight. Maybe Jaebum wasn’t particularly sweet or affectionate, but he had a warm and playful side to him simmering just under the surface.

“But I honestly can’t see any,” you insisted childishly. “You’re not even that tall. Yugyeom and Bambam are taller than you. Mark is more handsome. Jackson is funnier. Jinyoung is smarter. So what exactly does Im Jaebum have other than his boring-ass passion for films-“

He turned and glared at you. “Wow, you’re really trying to drag me down, aren’t you?”

“It’s revenge,” you muttered.

“Revenge?”

“Yeah. I told you this morning that I thought Mark was out of my league because he was more handsome than me and you didn’t even say anything. You could have said ‘no, you’ll look fine beside him’ or ‘you’re pretty’ but you just said okay. What does that mean? Okay? Would it have killed you to have just said a few insincere words of comfort?” you demanded.

Jaebum rolled his eyes. “I never say anything that’s insincere.”

“So you’re going for the tough-guy charm, are you?” you teased. Jaebum turned away from you but you could see the small smile on his face. His hands were stuffed deep into his pockets and you had to struggle to keep up with his walking pace. “It would have worked if you hadn’t just spent two hours talking about camera angles and lighting.”

“Are you done dragging me down?” he demanded.

“Not until you apologize for not reassuring me that Mark Tuan isn’t out of my league,” you insisted.

“You are unbelievably childish.”

“Just say ‘I’m sorry’ and we can part on good terms,” you insisted. The two of you had reached your apartment building already and Jaebum stopped walking, letting out a small sigh of mock frustration. You turned to face him eagerly, waiting for his apology.

“Fine. You just want me to say I’m sorry?”

“Yup.”

Jaebum took a deep breath as though he was preparing himself and then looked you dead in the eyes. You felt a little flustered at the sudden, intense eye contact but you forced yourself not to break it.

“All right. I am extremely sorry that Mark Tuan is out of your league. Happy?”

You gaped at him. “What? Excuse-“

“Bye, have a good night. We start filming on Saturday so don’t let yourself get dark circles or something. You are the leading lady after all,” Jaebum said quickly. He couldn’t hide the pleased little smirk on his face as he turned around and walked down the street in the opposite direction. You stared after him with your cheeks flushing pink in embarrassment.

“Fine! Be that way!” you yelled after Jaebum. “And do yourself a favor! Don’t ever take a girl you actually like to that stupid movie because she’ll probably be dead of boredom when by the time it ends!”

Jaebum smirked to himself. Too late.

You pouted and turned around to go into your apartment building. Whatever. What right did Im Jaebum have to tell you what league you were in anyway?

He had baby hands.

“What are you doing?”

You blushed and quickly lowered your phone, embarrassed to have been caught admiring yourself in your cellphone front camera. Bambam had done your makeup before the filming and to your surprise, it had only taken him twenty minutes to make you look like a much prettier version of yourself. You weren’t that good at makeup but Bambam was an expert and you felt kind of giddy and happy at how pretty he’d made you look.

“Nothing,” you said quickly, glancing sideways at Jaebum.

He raised an eyebrow. “You were just smiling at your phone as though you were posing for a photo.”

“I… might have been taking a selfie,” you admitted reluctantly.

Jaebum’s expression was blank and disbelieving. “In front of the convenience store? Why?”

You shrugged. Judging from the playful glint in his eyes, he knew exactly what you were doing because he’d caught you in the act. But Im Jaebum never backed down from an opportunity to make fun of you. He had changed drastically from the serious and unsmiling man you’d first met last week. He seemed to love teasing you and it was both entertaining and frustrating.

“Because the way Bambam did my makeup today makes me look pretty, okay?” you snapped. “Are you satisfied? You caught me checking myself out. Is that what you came over here to make me say?”

Jaebum folded his arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow at you coolly. He was wearing a simple white t-shirt that was a little too loose on him and his black snapback exposed his forehead. It annoyed you how handsome Im Jaebum was. Just because he looked so flawlessly perfect all the time didn’t mean that other people didn’t need makeup to feel pretty. Jaebum’s eyes scanned your face in amusement before he shrugged.

“No. I came here to ask you to go stand next to that table while I adjust the camera positioning. Youngjae and I need to check whether the lighting is all right so just go stand in the frame for us.”

You flushed and stuffed your phone in your pocket. “Fine, Director-nim.”

Jaebum walked over to where he had set up the camera on a tri-pod stand and began fiddling with it. You stood where he told you to and scrolled lazily on your phone while Jaebum leaned down and looked through the camera lens. You were perfectly in the middle of the frame. Jaebum felt his heart skip a beat. Standing there with a small pout on your pink lips and the evening sun shining in your hair… he found himself speechless for a few moments. Bambam had done your makeup perfectly and the cute little skirt you were wearing made you look extremely feminine.

You were so beautiful.

Instead of adjusting the camera frame and the lighting like he was supposed to, Jaebum found himself just staring at you and taking the chance to drink in the sight of you. He had known that he was attracted you to since the first time Jackson showed him your picture… but he’d never had the opportunity to stare at you so openly and not get called out for it.

He would have forgotten about the shoot and just watched you through the lens for hours, if Yugyeom hadn’t started complaining.

“Hyung!” he whined from his seat nearby. “This is really boring. I don’t know why you made me come here today when I don’t even have anything to do. What exactly is my role in this team?”

Jaebum cleared his throat and frowned, annoyed that Yugyeom was interrupting the few moments that he could admire you. Without turning his eyes away from the lens, he pretended to adjust something on the camera and cleared his throat. “You don’t have a defined role, Yugyeom. You’re just here to handle all the residual responsibilities.”

“Why haven’t any of these residual responsibilities popped up yet?”

Jaebum sighed in frustration. “Just go get everyone coffee.”

You glanced up from your phone suddenly, eyes bright and hopeful. “Oh! Yugyeom, are you doing a coffee run? A mocha latte for me please!” Jaebum smiled at the enthusiasm on your face. Why were you so cute and innocent? How could mere coffee elicit such a beautiful smile from you?

How was he going to deal with these growing affections?

“Fine,” Yugyeom grumbled. He walked past Jaebum and frowned, leaning closer to whisper in the director’s ear. “I’m only getting coffee because noona asked. So stop staring at her and just adjust the frame already.”

Jaebum cleared his throat awkwardly and straightened up.

“Okay, we’re good here. Mark, are you ready? Go take your position and we’ll start filming!”

The next few weeks were some of the best of your life.

You had expected that filming would be stressful and awkward, but it wasn’t at all. You liked acting and you liked immersing yourself into the character and pretending to be someone else. Besides, the entire atmosphere about the filming was light and casual. Mark, despite seeming quiet, had a tendency to burst into laughter randomly during his lines and that ended up causing everyone to laugh like a chain reaction. You had to control your own laughter as well. It didn’t help that Bambam and Yugyeom stood just a few feet behind Jaebum and silently mimicked him whenever he tried to get everyone to focus.

Besides, Jaebum was an amazing director. He had a vision of exactly how each scene should play out and he made sure it was perfect. He never compromised on anything. Even though he often forced you and Mark to take multiple retakes of particular scenes, you could see from the way his eyebrows furrowed together and his eyes narrowed at the camera display that he was looking for something. When Jaebum was satisfied, a small smile spread across his face and he clapped his hands together.

“All right! Let’s call it a wrap for today!”

You walked over to Jaebum as he and Youngjae began to dismantle the camera and pack it up into a bag. You tapped his shoulder and smiled lightly.

“How’s the film coming along, Director-nim?”

Jaebum smiled at you lightly. “It’s coming along pretty well, actually. Do you want to see how some of the shots turned out?”

You brightened up. “Yeah!”

“Let’s go into the café. I’ll load the memory card onto my laptop and you can watch some the scenes I edited.”

You waved goodbye to Youngjae, Bambam and Yugyeom and then followed Jaebum to the coffee shop. You ordered coffee for the both of you, before sliding into the booth beside him and peering into his laptop. Jaebum had some sort of video editing software that you were unfamiliar with. He was loading the video clips onto it. He turned the laptop to face you once he was done and showed you some of the scenes he’d already edited.

You grinned, scooting closer to Jaebum and sharing a pair of earphones as you watched the clips. They actually looked really good, considering that there was no professional equipment being used. You felt a little shy and awkward watching yourself on screen.

“Wow. It’s actually coming out really well,” you said enthusiastically. You bit your lip and glanced at Jaebum nervously. “What do you think? My acting isn’t too awkward, is it?”

Jaebum rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he looked at the screen. “Your acting is fine, it’s just…”

“Just what?”

“I mean…” he pointed at a scene where both you and Mark were in frame and smirked. “Don’t you think the lead actor looks a little bit like he’s out of the girl’s league?”

You yanked the earphone out of your ear and glared at him. Jaebum was laughing silently and you could tell that he was pretty proud of himself.

“If you’re going to be like that, then I’m not going to act for you anymore. You’ve already shot about half the film with me so you can’t afford to drop me at this point. That gives me a bargaining chip. You’ll have to start being nicer to your leading lady if you want to keep her, Director-nim.”

Jaebum rested his hand on his cheek and smiled at you. “Oh? Nicer how?”

“You can start by paying for my coffee.”

“Done,” he agreed without missing a heartbeat. “What else?”

“Most importantly, you’re never going to get anywhere as a Director if you can’t even reassure your leading lady that she’s pretty. I know I felt a little bit insecure at the thought of acting with Mark at first but you’re not allowed to keep bringing that up. If I’m insecure then you have to reassure me that I look great.”

Jaebum sighed. “That’s a tough one.”

You pushed at his shoulder. “Do it, or I quit now.”

“Okay, let’s give it a trial run. Say something that indicates you’re not feeling confident.”

You rubbed your hands together excitedly. Finally, you would elicit something that resembled a compliment from Im Jaebum. You let out a loud, dramatic sigh and rested your hand on your chin with a disappointed pout.

“Sometimes, I wonder if you should have chosen somebody else to act in my place. Do you really think I’m pretty enough to be playing a female lead, Director-nim?”

Jaebum suddenly reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear slowly. His soft fingers hovered near your cheek and you could feel the cold touch of one of his rings on your skin.

“Why are you so worried?” Jaebum asked you softly. His dark eyes were gentle as they looked at your lips and flickered up to meet your gaze. There was something in them… affection? Admiration? You suddenly felt your throat clench as Jaebum whispered to you. “I don’t understand where your insecurity comes from. I’ve known from the moment I cast you that you were gorgeous.”

You couldn’t breathe. Your eyes widened in shock for a few seconds as you felt a warmth explode in your heart. No. Bad idea. He doesn’t mean it, he’s just joking. You blinked a few times and then quickly pulled away from him. Your cheeks had turned red.

“You don’t have to say it like that,” you muttered.

Jaebum chuckled. “Like what?”

“Like you’re in love with me or something. Jeez, tone it down a little, Director-nim,” you complained. Your heartbeat was thudding and you couldn’t bring yourself to look Jaebum in the eyes. No matter how attractive he was, how could you allow yourself to get so excited over a joke? You grabbed your bag and Jaebum laughed at how evidently flustered you’d become.

“Why? Did it make you excited?” he teased.

You frowned. “No. I just… I just wasn’t expecting you to touch my hair, that’s all.”

“Then why is your face red and why are you avoiding eye contact with me?”

You turned and looked at him boldly. Jaebum’s lips were spread into a broad smile and he looked more handsome than ever as he laughed at you. You cleared your throat and grabbed your coffee. “I’m taking this to-go. I have an exam to study for.”

Jaebum was still laughing. “You did get kind of flustered, didn’t you?”

“No! Shut up. I’m leaving.”

Jaebum stopped laughing and grabbed your hand, pulling you back down to sit beside him. His warm fingers closed around yours firmly as he used his other hand to press a few buttons on his laptop. “All right, all right. Wait for me. It’s late, so I’ll walk you home. I just need to save all these files.”

You looked down at his hand entwined in yours while he turned off his computer. Considering how much bigger Jaebum was than you in general, his hand should have engulfed yours the way the rest of him did. But his small fingers were soft and you giggled at the sight of them wrapped around yours. You squeezed his hand back and smiled to yourself.

Maybe Jaebum’s baby hands represented his soft side.

You decided that you liked his hands even more than the rest of him.

And to be perfectly honest, you liked the rest of him a lot.

On the day of the last filming, you were a little late. The final scene involved the two leads meeting up in a park and sharing a kiss as they declared that they both finally believed in love again. The park across from your building was chosen as the perfect location, but one of your classes had run late and so you’d come sprinting to the park to find that Jaebum and Youngjae were done setting up and Mark was already dressed and finished with his makeup.

“Sorry I’m late!” you apologized to everyone loudly as Bambam ushered you to sit down on a park bench so he could quickly apply some foundation onto your face. You expected Jaebum to roll his eyes at you or make a joking comment but he didn’t even turn to look at you. He was just sitting on the grass and fiddling with a camera with a frown on his face.

Bambam lowered his voice as he swiped the makeup sponge across your face. “Jaebum-hyung is in a bad mood today.”

You blinked. “Why? It’s the last day of filming.”

“Yeah, I know. Jinyoung says he’s been like that all day. I think he’s nervous about the film. Most people in his film class are just submitting shit but Jaebum-hyung’s put in so much effort that he wouldn’t be able to deal with it if the finished product wasn’t excellent. Mark’s leaving on a trip tomorrow so we can’t even reshoot any scenes if they’re not perfect.”

You blinked and closed your eyes as Bambam started on your eyelids. “But it will be perfect.”

“Tell Jaebum that. He’s been snapping at us all afternoon.”

You nodded quietly, letting Bambam finish your makeup. Once he was finished, you hurried over to stand in the frame so that Jaebum could adjust the positioning of the lens. Jaebum usually took at least ten minutes to adjust the lens and the frame but somehow, he was done in a matter of seconds today. You could tell from the way his shoulders were tense and the frown lines on his forehead that Bambam was right. Something about Jaebum was off today. He wasn’t usually very smiley but today his frown was deep.

“Mark! Can you get in the frame too? Let’s finish this quickly,” Jaebum called.

You took a deep breath and tried to focus on the script. You were kind of nervous that this was the final kiss scene; there had been once earlier on in the script that was originally a proper kiss, but you had rewritten it to a small peck. But this was a proper kiss scene and the camera would be closing in on your lips. You gave Mark a nervous smile and he smiled awkwardly back at you. Let’s get through this.

You tried to block out everything else and focus on your lines. The scene was extremely sweet and since you had rewritten some of the dialogues to suit you, you were able to perform it easily. It was a little difficult to stay calm when Mark cupped your face and pressed his lips against yours, but you managed. Your mind was screaming due to the awkwardness. You both kept your lips together for a few seconds so the camera could get a good enough shot and then pulled apart.

“Cut!” Jaebum called out sharply. “That’s good enough. Let’s wrap up.”

Youngjae frowned. “Hyung, to be honest that was a little awkward. Shouldn’t we get one more? From a different angle”

Jaebum ran his fingers through his hair and barely glanced at Youngjae. His shoulders were still tense and he wasn’t looking at you. In fact, he hadn’t looked at you since you arrived. He started to turn off the camera. “We’re fine. It’s okay if it’s a little awkward because that makes it more realistic. Besides, we can’t show too much of the kiss anyway. There are guidelines on the explicit content.”

Youngjae blinked. “Explicit content? For a kiss-“

Jaebum glared at him. “Are you the director, or am I?”

“I mean… fine. If you think so. Let’s wrap it up.”

You waved goodbye to the other boys, all promising to get together and watch the film once it was edited and put together. Bambam and Yugyeom left first, followed by Mark and Jinyoung. Once Youngjae had taken the camera and left as well, you slowly approached Jaebum. He was doing what he always did after a shoot; loading the clips onto his laptop. You sat down next to him and gave him a small smile.

“Hey. How are you doing?”

He barely glanced at you. “Fine. Don’t you have anywhere to be?”

“Nope,” you replied with a bright smile. You playfully nudged his shoulder. “I don’t have anything to do, so I’m going to bug you today. How does that sound?”

Jaebum sighed, his eyes fixed on the laptop screen.

“Don’t,” he muttered.

You felt your heart sink. Something was seriously wrong. You paused and reached over to close the lid of Jaebum’s laptop shut. He turned to glare at you, irritated, but he froze at the corresponding glare on your own face.

“Jaebum. Is everything okay? You’re not acting like yourself. I thought you would be more excited to finally wrap up the filming and finish your first short film, but you’ve been acting weird. Is something bothering you?” you demanded.

Jaebum stared at you for a few seconds, before letting out a small sigh. “I’m just stressed,” he muttered.

“About what?”

He leaned back on the park bench and let out a small groan. He turned his head upwards and squinted at the sky as he spoke. “I guess it’s stupid. My professor came up to me the other day and say he had really high expectations from me out of this project. He really thinks that my short film is going to be the best in the class. He even says that once he’s done grading, he wants me to submit it for a national short film contest.”

You blinked. “Isn’t that a good thing? That means he thinks you’re really talented!”

Jaebum turned and looked at you, his eyes torn. He was evidently not feeling confident about this and the way his shoulders hunched down miserably broke your heart.

“What if I’m not? What if this short film is shit? I’ve wanted to be a film director for a really long time and this is the first time I’ve ever shot an entire project like this. What if it sucks? What if this is all I’m capable of, and my career just ends here? What if I’ve just wasted everyone’s time?”

You reached out and grabbed Jaebum’s hand. “Jaebum. You are an amazing director.”

He bit his lip and stared down at your entwined hands, your fingers grasping his own soft ones tightly.

“Say that again,” he mumbled.

“You are an amazing director. I know I’m not a professional actress so my word might not count for much. But I loved working with you. Filming this project is the most fun I’ve ever had and not just because of how much I like spending time with you and the other guys. I’ve seen how you analyze every detail. I’ve seen how you make sure each and every shot is perfect. I’ve seen the amount of effort and care you’ve put into this project. I don’t know if your professor will like it and I don’t know if it will win the short film contest. But there is absolutely no way that this film is not amazing.”

Jaebum turned and stared at you. There was something soft and vulnerable in his eyes. “Do you sincerely mean that?”

You smiled. “I’m always sincere.”

Jaebum took a deep, calming breath and gave you a small smile. “I guess you’re right. I’ve done my best. There’s no point worrying about it anymore. I just need to edit it and hope it all goes well.”

“It will.”

“If even one person enjoys it, I think I’ll be okay.”

You watched Jaebum lift the lid of his laptop and start to open the video editing software but you quickly stopped him and closed his laptop again. “Hey. You have a lot of time. Give yourself a break,” you insisted. “You don’t have to edit it all tonight. Let’s go do something fun.”

“Fun?”

You beamed. “Yeah! What do you do for fun?”

Jaebum raised an eyebrow. “You know what I do for fun.”

You suddenly had a traumatic flashback of falling asleep in a dark theatre while Jaebum talked about camera angles and sound recording techniques. Jaebum laughed at the horrified expression on your face and suddenly reached out to ruffle your hair playfully.

“I told you. You don’t want to do what I do for fun.”

You clenched your fists and took a deep breath. “No. Let’s do it. Let’s… go watch another movie.”

---

Jaebum surprisingly toned down the spontaneous trivia this time around, confirming your belief that he’d only gone overboard last time because he’d wanted to annoy you. He picked another black and white film and when, halfway through his explanation on how this was the last movie that this director had filmed before committing suicide (you had no idea how Jaebum could still sound enthusiastic while explaining that to you), you sighed and rested your head on his shoulder.

“What are you doing?” he demanded, craning his neck to look at you. Jaebum’s shoulder was an extremely comfortable headrest and it had been about twenty minutes since you lost track of what was happening in the movie.

You pouted. “If you’re going to make me fall asleep, then the least you can do is be my pillow. Sit straight and stop fidgeting. My neck ached all night last time.”

Jaebum was silent and you peeked up at him to see him turn his head back to the screen, a small smile on his lips. You snuggled against him happily and hid your own smile. Maybe watching these old films with Jaebum isn’t so bad if I get to cuddle him. You fell asleep to Jaebum whispering to you about all the awards the film had won. You didn’t even notice when he gently shifted your head and put his arm around you. Once the lights in the theatre came back on, you blinked in a confused manner.

“Good morning,” Jaebum joked, as he watched you squint.

You slowly pulled away from him, missing the warmth of his arms as you stretched and sat up. The few other people in the theatre were starting to leave and Jaebum was smiling at you. “How did it end?” you wondered sleepily. “Was it a happy ending?”

Jaebum chuckled. “Everybody got blown up.”

Your smile dropped. “Wow. Really?”

“Yeah. Come on, you’ve suffered enough at my expense today. Let me take you home,” Jaebum insisted. He grabbed your hand and pulled you up from your seat, leading you out of the theatre. You smiled sleepily as you looked down at your entwined hands. Jaebum’s small hand wrapped around yours would never cease to make you smile. Once you both stepped out onto the cool street, he turned to you and raised an eyebrow.

“What are you smiling about?” Jaebum wondered.

You held up your entwined hands to him and giggled. “Did you know that you have really small hands for a man of your size? I mean… ýour fingers are kind of short. I think my hand is even bigger than yours.”

Jaebum stared at you in disbelief. “Really? That’s what makes you laugh?”

You pouted. “Hey. It’s a difficult world we live in. Let me have my small amusements.”

He rolled his eyes and started walking down the street but didn’t let go of your hand. You were forced to partly jog in order to keep up with him. Jaebum’s strides were long, yet the feeling of his warm hand holding yours made you feel happy. You simply bounced along beside him while the two of you strolled down the street. He was silent but there was a smile on his face.

“I can’t wait until the film is edited and ready to go,” you chirped. You turned to Jaebum with wide eyes. “Oh my god. It just occurred to me. What if your film really wins some kind of short film competition? Do you think I’ll become famous? Do you think I could have a career as an actress?”

Jaebum turned to you with a grin. “Are you dreaming of stardom already?”

“Don’t worry. I won’t forget the film school director who gave me my humble start,” you promised him playfully. Then your face turned into a grimace. “But ugh. No more romance dramas. The kissing scene today was so awkward. I guess I just can’t get into character with something like that.”

“Was it that awkward?” he wondered quietly.

You shrugged. “I don’t know. It didn’t feel bad really, but I couldn’t really bring myself to enjoy it either. And it felt even more uncomfortable knowing that you and Youngjae and Bambam were watching. Like who wants an audience when they’re being kissed? Yuck.”

Jaebum smiled. “Why? I thought girls would find it romantic to be kissed in front of a lot of people.”

“You know nothing about women, Director-nim.”

“Enlighten me.”

You bit your lip thoughtfully. Jaebum was watching you with an intense expression, as though he really wanted to know what you had to say. You faltered for a moment. Were you really about to give him advice on women? What if he just went and used whatever you said on some other girl?

Your smile dropped and you shook your head. “Nah. Figure it out yourself.”

“Why?” he asked with a laugh. He tugged at your hand. “Tell me what you were about to say!”

For a brief moment, you wondered if you should just say it. I really like you, Jaebum. I’ve fallen for you. What if you just looked him in the eyes and blurted those words out? What was the worst that could happen? He might reject you. As much as Jaebum made fun of you and teased you, you knew that he would let you down nicely. But what if he never talked to you again? What if he thought you were weird and foolish for even thinking that he could be attracted to you? Jaebum had never done anything to indicate that he saw you as anything more than a friend.

The small burst of confidence passed and you recoiled into yourself.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Jaebum asked. His voice sounded serious.

You cleared your throat and blinked. “Like what?”

“Just… I don’t know. In a weird way.”

You shrugged. You could see your building a few feet ahead and you reluctantly pulled your hand out of Jaebum’s. It felt cold and empty but there was a sickening feeling growing in your stomach. You suddenly realized that you wanted to get away from him. You stepped back and forced a smile.

“I must be really tired. I’m gonna go upstairs now. Thanks for walking me home. Bye, Jaebum!”

Jaebum’s eyes brows furrowed in concern. He called out your name but you quickly rushed into your apartment building and went inside, closing the door behind you. You took a deep breath and waited until his voice could no longer be heard. Then you composed yourself and went upstairs.

Let’s deal with it some other day.

Jaebum didn’t go home.

He walked halfway down the street and then turned back, feeling the urge to call you back down and talk to you. He couldn’t decide whether he should just leave and talk to you another day, or if he should just man up and call you right now. Jaebum found himself strolling into the small park across from your apartment building; the park where he’d first met you the day that Jackson introduced you to him, the park where he’d watched you kiss Mark and resisted the urge to strangle one of his own friends.

Why hadn’t you waited and listened? Jaebum had had a whole speech prepared for when he dropped you off. He’d been waiting for this moment for a long time. Why had you just run off without letting him speak?

Honestly, you really pissed him off sometimes.

He took a deep breath and grabbed his phone, dialing your phone number. You answered after two rings, your voice sounding a little confused.

“Jaebum. Hey, what’s going on?”

He took a deep breath. “You just ran off without letting me speak. I had something to say to you. Come back down and meet me in the park.”

Your voice cracked. “Now? You’re still outside.”

“Yeah, come down.”

You hung up and hurried downstairs, confused. It had been almost an hour since you had left Jaebum at the foot of your apartment building. You had assumed that he would have gone home by now. Why was he still hanging around in the park? You crossed the street and spotted him sitting alone on one of the park benches. Jaebum’s hands were folded in his lap and his lips were pressed together tightly.

“Jaebum? What’s going on?” you demanded.

He looked up at you, eyes wide. “Uh… I had something I wanted to say,” he admitted quietly. “Actually, it’s something I’ve wanted to say for a while but I promised myself I would only tell you once we were done filming so that things wouldn’t become awkward in case you don’t react the way I’m hoping.”

Your heart skipped a beat. “O-okay.”

“I… uh…” Jaebum groaned and clenched his fists. “Ah, fuck. This is so embarrassing.”

“What? Just say it!” you insisted nervously.

Jaebum stood up and stood directly in front of you. You could see him taking a deep breath as he prepared himself and then he reached up and cupped your cheeks gently with both hands. He tilted your chin up so that you were looking directly at him. His dark eyes were soft. “I’m only saying this once, so listen carefully,” he insisted. “You… you’re fucking beautiful.”

You stared at him, your head spinning. “What?”

“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. That’s what I’ve thought since even before I met you, since Jackson showed me your picture and suggested I ask you to act in my film. And the more I got to know you, the more I kept thinking that dammit, you only become more gorgeous every time I see you. I keep wanting you to look at me. I keep wanting to look at you. Whenever you smile, it makes my heart pound like crazy.”

“Jaebum…”

“That day when you said Mark was out of your league? I couldn’t even respond because I was just thinking is this woman insane, how does she not see what I see? I love your enthusiasm. I love your childishness and your innocence. I love everything about you. These feelings have been growing inside of me for weeks now. When you took my hand today and told me that I was an amazing director… I realized that I could deal with anything in the world if I just had you beside me, holding my hand and believing in me.”

Your throat clenched and your heart pounded in your chest, as though it was going to explode. Was Jaebum really saying these things to you? You could tell from the firm, determined look in his eyes that he was being more honest than he’d ever been.

“Jaebum… shut up,” you muttered.

He stiffened. “Should I?”

“Yeah,” you mumbled. You slowly pushed his hands off your cheeks. You saw Jaebum’s eyes flicker with hurt for a few seconds before you stepped closer to him and wrapped your arms around his waist. Jaebum was still as you pressed your face into his chest. He was warm and comfortable. Jaebum finally came to his senses and hugged you back tightly. You felt perfect in his arms.

“You scared me,” he whispered. “I thought you were mad.”

“I’m not mad,” you mumbled against his chest. You hugged him even more tightly and sighed. “The whole heartfelt confession thing just doesn’t suit you. You should have just waited for me to do it and then you could have reacted in a cool, tsundere manner and maintained your dignity.”

Jaebum chuckled and pressed his cheek against your hair. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not as cool as you think.”

“I’m not either,” you pointed out. Your face was burning red and you had a stupid smile on your face that you were trying to hide by pressing it against Jaebum’s shirt. You panicked when Jaebum slowly removed his arms from around you and tried to push you away from him. “Stop it, let me hug you!” you protested, swatting his hands away from his shoulders.

“I want to kiss you.”

“Well, you can’t, because I’m blushing really hard now and I don’t want you to see. So just let me hide for a few more minutes.”

Jaebum sighed. “God, you’re such a handful. Never mind. Forget this confession, I’m going home-“

You clenched your fists in his shirt. “No! Don’t you dare!”

“Then let me kiss you.”

You slowly lifted your head from Jaebum’s chest. He was smiling down at you with shining eyes, and his thumb stroked your red cheek before he leaned down and kissed you. You melted into Jaebum’s gentle touch. His lips were sweet and caring. You had never imagined that the stone-faced Im Jaebum could be capable of such a passionate kiss. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer while he pecked your mouth slowly and repeatedly.

“Wow,” he mumbled, slowly pulling away. You blinked at him dazedly. “No wonder your kiss with Mark was awkward. You really don’t know how to kiss.”

You stared at him indignantly, flushing red. “Excuse me-“

“Come here. This is how you kiss,” Jaebum whispered. Before you could respond, his lips came down on yours once more. His tongue teased the inside of your mouth and his mouth slanted over yours hotly. Jaebum let out a soft, low groan that made your stomach twist in desire. He claimed your mouth passionately and let his fingers twist into your hair. You gasped and melted against him. You slid your own hands into his hair and pulled his lips downs towards yours, making him groan once more.

“Fuck,” he mumbled. “This is too much.”

You giggled, face flushed. “What? Im Jaebum can’t handle my kiss?”

He chuckled and pressed his forehead against yours. “I can handle anything,” he reassured you.

“Then come upstairs and let’s see how true that is.”

---

Epilogue:

“And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the piece which won me an A+ in Film Class and which I submitted last night to the national short film contest,” Jaebum announced proudly.

Everyone clapped and cheered. The team had all gathered in your apartment to hold a little screening of the completed short film. It had turned out as a masterpiece and Jaebum’s Professor had been so happy that he had insisted Jaebum submit it to the film contest. You snuggled closer to your boyfriend and smiled happily. Jaebum’s arm was around you and you were both cuddled together on the armchair. Bambam, Yugyeom and Mark were sitting on the couch while Jinyoung, Jackson and Youngjae sat on your floor.

“Wow, hyung. I knew it was going to be good but this really looks like a professional film,” Youngjae insisted excitedly.

“Shush! Everyone shush, it’s not over yet! The credits are rolling!”

Jaebum wrapped his arm around you and pressed a kiss to your forehead as the credits rolled on. It revealed you and Mark as the lead actors, Jaebum as the Director, Youngjae as Cameraman and Technical Director, Bambam as Make-up and Costume Director, and…

“Errand boy?” Yugyeom burst out suddenly. He turned and looked at Jaebum in horror. “Hyung, did you seriously put my name in the credits as errand boy?”

Jinyoung frowned at him. “All you did was bring people coffee, Yugyeom. What did you expect?”

“You didn’t even write the script yourself, noona had to change most of it!”

“She made minor changes to the dialogue!” Jinyoung shot back furiously. “The original idea was all mine!”

“Then explain to me why the hell Jackson is credited as Casting Director. There’s two fucking people in the entire movie and all he did was introduce us to one of them. He never even came to a single filming or meeting. Why does he get Casting Director and I get errand boy?”

Bambam smirked and wiggled his eyebrows at you and Jaebum. “Because he didn’t just introduce our Director to our female actress. He introduced Jaebum to his leading lady,” he said in a sing-song voice. You rolled your eyes as Bambam set off a chorus of ‘oooooh’s that was picked up by Jackson and Youngjae.

“Shut up,” you grumbled. “Director-nim, can’t you control your team?”

Jaebum chuckled. “Sorry, ma’am. I’ll get rid of them for you.”

“Yes, please do.”

You slowly untangled yourself from Jaebum and went into the kitchen to get more drinks and popcorn for the others. As you stuck a new bag in the microwave and reached into the fridge to get a new bottle of coke, you heard Jaebum’s soft footsteps follow you into the kitchen. He wrapped his arm around your waist and nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck.

“Hey,” he whispered. “What did you really think of the film?”

You turned and smiled. “I loved it. Well. Watching myself kiss Mark on screen was a little awkward, but otherwise the film was amazing. You really should have let us do another take of the kiss.”

Jaebum flushed. “You know why I didn’t.”

“I do now. Were you jealous?” you teased him playfully.

“I was.” Jaebum leaned down and kissed you softly. “I was crazy jealous seeing you kiss him. It was even worse watching that scene over and over while I edited it. But don’t worry. Now that I know you’re mine, I promise I’ll try to stay cool if you ever try acting again and a situation like that comes up. You just have to promise me that I’m a better kisser than your partner.”

You chuckled. “I don’t think I’ll be acting again.”

“Oh? Why not?”

You shrugged and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Because I kind of like the idea of being exclusively your leading lady forever.”

#got7 #got7 scenarios #got7 scenario #im jaebum #im jaebeom #got7 jaebum #got7 jaebeom #got7 fluff #jaebum scenario #jaebum scenarios #got7 drabbles #got7 fanfiction #jaebum fluff

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squirrelly831 · 4 years

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Miscarriage [Youngjae, Jongup, and Junhong]

If it wasn’t obvious, this is angst. Eventually I’ll need write a fluffy daddy!au for B.A.P haha I feel like I’ve only written angst daddy!au for them… The parts will be linked at the bottom of this reaction.

Enjoy~~

Youngjae

Everything had gone so perfect that Allison still didn’t understand how or why it happened. Youngjae left her happy and healthy at eight weeks. He had insisted that he could push back his tour, but Allison refused. She could man the fort alone while he was away for a couple of months.

During her pregnancy, she would have spotting that her doctor told her time and again was normal in the first trimester. So, she didn’t worry too much. Until one day while she was home with her friends who came out to visit her. Allison had a basket of clothes to wash and she missed a step. She let out a scream as she fell down the stairs which caused her friends to rush her to the hospital.

She was prepared to see a regular doctor as she got moved into a hospital room after being seen for other injuries. Allison came out basically unscathed minus a concussion. However, when she saw her obgyn doctor enter, the color in her skin left her. “What’s wrong with the baby?”

Her doctor approached her, “I’m just here to check something the doctor wanted to get a second opinion on.” A nurse pulled in an ultrasound and her doctor lifted her gown to get to her stomach. She put the gel on her stomach and put the probe on her. Her doctor dragged the probe around her belly once, then again slower than the last, and then one last time taking a few movements at a time. “Can you come back to my office next week?”

Allison nodded slowly, “I can… but what’s going on?”

Her doctor let out a breath, “I believe you’ve had a silent miscarriage, but I need to do a different scan to confirm it.”

Allison’s eyes widened, “What? Silen–oh god… Was it because of my fall?”

“No no no” her doctor spoke up immediately, “I hate to say, this happens a lot more than I care to admit. About 20 percent of women have a silent miscarriage. The baby just stops growing, but the body believes that it’s still carrying a baby.”

That night, Allison called Youngjae and told him what was going on. He didn’t hesitate to cancel his tour and rush back to his wife’s side. He was heartbroken of course, but he didn’t want to add to her stress.

When he arrived home, Allison had only beaten him moments before as her friend took her home. The moment Youngjae saw Allison on the couch, he ran to her side. Allison stared at her growing stomach with bitter resentment. “Alli…”

“It just keeps growing” she hissed. “It’s like it is mocking me… As if it’s just trying to hurt me” her voice shook. Youngjae took her in his arms and she kept rambling. “Just make it stop… There’s no baby… There’s nothing.” Her eyes watered as she continued to talk.

The next week came and went. Allison’s doctor confirmed that Allison had a miscarriage. The baby had shrunk in size and Allison agreed to have a d&c surgery to empty out her womb. She couldn’t handle watching her stomach continue to grow through the rest of the pregnancy.

After the surgery, Youngjae was by Allison’s sleeping figure trying to figure out what could have gone wrong. The pregnancy was going so well, so what could have caused this tragedy to happen?

Jongup

It had been a month since Maddy had her miscarriage and the pain was still very fresh and very real. She was still affected by it all and though her husband, Jongup, seemed fine, he was heartbroken. Whereas Maddy would be found weeping or screaming in frustration, Jongup was calm and collected. He helped rebuild her.

What Jongup didn’t understand was that Maddy wasn’t just upset because of the miscarriage, but because Jongup began to push her away. Physically, he was there with her. He would hold her and kiss her and tell her comforting words, but emotionally Jongup seemed to have vanished. His words weren’t loving just neutral. Maddy believed he blamed her for the miscarriage.

Her suspicions only grew when she called Daehyun since Jongup hadn’t been home in a few days. Daehyun told her that Jongup took a leave from work and hadn’t been in for weeks. He offered to call Jongup, but Maddy refused. She had an idea where she could find him, so she grabbed her keys and set off to find Jongup.

The cool air from the beach blew around her as she walked through the sand. Maddy took in the salty water smell and smiled as a weight slowly lifted off her back. She spotted Jongup on a pier looking off at the water. She went to call for him as she approached, but she saw the tear stains on his cheeks. Maddy said nothing as she approached him from behind. Her fingers grazed the side of his shirt before her arms engulfed him from behind and linked around his abdomen.

Jongup jumped at the sudden feeling and he craned his head to see the top of Maddy’s head, “love…”

“I’m mad at you.” Maddy whispered. Jongup turned fully to face her, “You keep acting like you’re okay, but I know you’re not. I’m your wife. Why can’t you just tell me instead of disappearing for days on end.” A tear fell down her face and Jongup wiped it away. “If you’re mad at me for the miscarriage just say it… yell at me… Just tell me you hate me and I’ll understand.”

Jongup licked his lips as he tried not to cry again, “I’m not mad at you. You didn’t cause this, babe. I could never hate you.” His voice crack, “I love you.”

“Then why are you pushing away from me? We’re supposed to support each other. We’re suppose to mourn and heal together, but you’re shutting me out.” Jongup said nothing as he just pulled Maddy to him tightly. She felt him tremble and sniffle. “Don’t push me out anymore… We promised to always be there for each other.” Jongup said nothing as he pressed a kiss on the top of her head.

Junhong

The worse way to find out about a miscarriage was through the news and that was exactly how Junhong found out about Kiara’s miscarriage. She had two miscarriages in the past and the doctors could never figure out the cause. However, this pregnancy seemed to be better. She was four months in and it was the furthest one by far. The baby and Kiara were healthy and everything was just perfect.

At first, Junhong didn’t feel comfortable leaving to Europe for a small tour, but Kiara insisted that he went. She had a lot of friends in Seoul and she knew she’d be fine. So, Junhong headed to Germany, but kept constant updates on his wife.

Then one day, Kiara was chilling with Christian Yu, a friend of Junhong and hers. She was on Instagram Live with him as he worked on a track. Kiara spent time answering some questions.

Christian looked at the comments and read a few, “These ones ask why do you look sick?”

Kiara let out an awkward laugh, “I haven’t been feeling too good the past couple of days. I had a fever, but it broke. I’m still getting better.” She flashed a peace sign to the camera before she snuck off to play with Lori. Kiara grabbed a toy and threw it for Lori. She felt a sharp pain and she grabbed her stomach in a panic. Alarmed the fans began to ask more questions. She felt blood between her legs and she felt sick.

Christian looked at the comments and whipped back to see Kiara, “Ki-ki, are you okay?” He watched her eyes rolled as she collapsed, “Kiara!” He grabbed his phone and ended the live to call the ambulance. “Kiara! Hey! Kiara wake up!”

Junhong woke to missed calls by Christian, but he didn’t think anything of it until he looked at his Twitter. He noticed his name and Kiara’s name trending on Twitter and things like get well Kiara and pray for Kiara. Junhong felt like his heart stopped as he read through the comments. However, he was interrupted when Christian’s number flashed on his phone. “Hello?”

“Junhong! Fucking finally!” He let out a shaky breath, “I’ve been trying to reach you all night.”

“What’s wrong with Kiara?”

Christian fell quiet, “How’d you–”

“WHAT’S WRONG WITH MY WIFE?”

“Fuck… Twitter… Junhong, you need to get here fast. She needs you. They said the baby is stillborn…”

Junhong didn’t need to be told twice. He explained to the other performers why he had to drop and he rushed back to Seoul. Before he got back, Kiara had the a c-section to remove their baby boy. When he got to the hospital, he saw Kiara holding their stillborn son. She held his lifeless body close to her as she looked up at Junhong. He approached his wife and son and he cried as he looked at how peaceful his son looked.

“Isn’t he beautiful…” She wept. Junhong held onto Kiara as he reached out and touched his son’s tiny face. “Why can’t he just be asleep? I just wanted to hear him cry once… A laugh… something… This is cruel.” Of all the miscarriages, this one was by far the hardest and most painful of all for the both of them.

Part I

Credit to gif owners

Written & revamped by Squirrelly831

♕ REQUEST

☮ B.A.P MASTERLIST

∞ ULTIMATE MASTERLIST

#kpop #kpop reactions #kpop scenarios #b.a.p.#b.a.p scenarios #b.a.p reactions #bap #bap reactions #bap scenarios #youngjae #youngjae scenarios #youngjae reactions #jongup #jongup scenarios #jongup reactions #junhong #junhong reactions #zelo #zelo reactions

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daemour · 3 years

Text

You’re Still My Universe Pt. 8

Title: You’re Still My Universe

Pairing: Jinyoung x BamBam

Genre: Angst, maybe fluff, parent au

Warnings: Car crash, panic attack

Word count: 3755

Summary: Jinyoung’s life is devoted to his son. But the first time he’s been separated, so many other people barge into his life and start taking up what little free time he has left.

Sorry this took so long! I might have to push updates to biweekly instead of weekly because I no longer have a buffer.

It has been a week since Yugyeom had returned and Jinyoung is intent on avoiding Youngjae. The younger had, at first, stayed with BamBam for two days, giving Jinyoung space and time. But as time goes on, he tries to catch Jinyoung in conversation multiple times. But Jinyoung is nothing if not a master at evading conversations, even if the two live in the same apartment. One of the tricks is spending time with Yugyeom because he knows Youngjae wouldn’t bring it up around the kid, and so Jinyoung has no qualms in utilising his child.

Except, he had misjudged Youngjae’s persistence. Youngjae had tried multiple times to get BamBam to watch the child for long enough. And even if Jinyoung had asked BamBam to decline, he knew his boyfriend would soon cave. BamBam had even been telling him that he needs to speak to Youngjae about that. Jinyoung knows that, he just doesn’t want to.

He should, as BamBam told him time and time again, and Jinyoung knew it definitely would have to come before Jaebeom made his way over. But for now, Jinyoung was content with acting like a petulant child. Even if Yugyeom had caught on to their feud and now quietly sides with Jinyoung (of course he would, the child loved his father as much as a four-year-old could), Jinyoung still would not be an adult about that.

“Hyung, are you monologuing again?” BamBam comes up behind Jinyoung, who is leaning on the younger’s kitchen counter, wrapping his long arms around the broader man’s waist. Jinyoung turns his head to look at the younger man, who has hooked his chin over Jinyoung’s shoulder.

“...No.” The pause tells BamBam all he needs, and the skinnier man laughs and leans forward to press a quick kiss to Jinyoung’s lips.

Jinyoung tucks his head in BamBam’s shoulder, trailing kisses along the smooth skin of his collarbone and BamBam sighs at the feeling, pressing even more kisses to the crown of Jinyoung’s head in response. “I know I keep saying this, and you keep hearing it, but you really gotta talk to Youngjae about this, you know.”

Jinyoung whines into BamBam’s neck. “I don’t wan-na.” He’s just further cementing the idea that Jinyoung is literally a toddler in a twenty-eight-year-old’s body. BamBam laughs again, a little bit both breathless and exasperated.

“Don’t whine, baby. We’re not fucking just yet–” Jinyoung slaps a hand over BamBam’s mouth, ears burning red. BamBam cracks up, loud and happy, and Jinyoung hides a smile in BamBam’s cheek as he presses a series of quick kisses to the soft skin.

Not a day goes by when he’s not endeared by the younger, gorgeous man. Jinyoung is always happy he met BamBam at the bar that one night. He honestly thinks he could see a future with BamBam forever– Yugyeom loves the man as well, and that is all Jinyoung needs in his life. God, what did he do to deserve this?

“Hyung,” BamBam’s whiny voice cuts into Jinyoung’s thoughts, “you’re thinking again.” Jinyoung giggles, face still pressed into BamBam’s cheek.

“But thinking is important. If I didn’t think then I wouldn’t have gone out to meet you,” Jinyoung retaliates, words mumbling into BamBam’s face.

BamBam huffs and rolls his eyes. “You can think, I love it when my boyfriend uses his brain. But I prefer it when my boyfriend kisses me.”

Jinyoung immediately complies, pressing kiss after kiss on BamBam’s cheeks until he reaches the younger’s chapped lips. As he fits his lips in between BamBam’s, the younger’s slender hands come up to cup Jinyoung’s face. The kiss they share is sweet, unusual for these two, but something about it makes Jinyoung’s heart flutter.

BamBam leans forward a little, deepening the kiss, and Jinyoung pulls BamBam closer by his waist. When Jinyoung pulls back to just take in the sight of his boyfriend, BamBam whines and tries to capture the older’s lips again. Jinyoung smiles at the (slightly) shorter man, leaning in and letting their lips meet again.

They stay like that for who knows how long, just breathing in each other and practically becoming one. Jinyoung could stay like that for ages. It’s only when Jinyoung’s phone rings and startles the both of them do they separate. Jinyoung’s face is warm from the press of BamBam’s lips against his and the younger’s close proximity as he answers his phone without looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?”

“Jinyoung–”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened. “Jaebeom hyung? What’s up? This is a pleasant surprise.”

“Jinyoung, Yugyeom and Youngjae were hit by a car they’re at Cha Medical Centre Jinyoung please–” Jaebeom’s frantic voice cuts off with a choke. Jinyoung doesn’t even know how to respond, standing still. The words haven't even registered in Jinyoung’s brain. It’s only when BamBam’s cool hand finds Jinyoung’s back does Jinyoung snap back to reality.

“Jaebeom”—Jinyoung’s voice falters but he powers through—”Jaebeom what happened? Bam and I are on the road now and I need you to tell me what the f-uck is going on.”

He is shoving his heels haphazardly into his shoes, BamBam close behind him. Jaebeom seems to be inconsolable, sobbing after every other word.

“They were trying to go to the park but a car ran a red light. I’m on the bus but it’ll take a good five hours–” Jaebeom cuts off with a crackle of static and a half-heard sob, and the call ends. Jinyoung curses, the words heavy in his mouth. His foot is basically out of the door now, only BamBam shrugging on a coat.

Once BmBam finishes up what Jinyoung felt was slightly unnecessary, the two hurry down the hall. Waiting for the elevator seemed like too much of a risk to Jinyoung, so he basically ripped open the door to the stairwell instead. This proves to be a mistake—BamBam lives on the sixth floor—but adrenaline keeps Jinyoung going until they reach the lobby. BamBam steps out to get a taxi while Jinyoung calls the hospital and sits down to catch his breath.

“Hello, Cha Medical Centre, how can we help you?” A crisp voice answers the call, and Jinyoung feels a twinge of embarrassment about his state.

“Hi, I’m Park Jinyoung. I was wondering if my son, Park Yugyeom, and the man he was with, Choi Youngjae, are there?” The person on the receiving end of the call hums, and Jinyoung can hear papers rustling in the background.

He waits on hold as BamBam tugs him towards the taxi, and the person soon returns to the call. “Yes, both are here. Unfortunately, I am unable to give any more information over the phone. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Jinyoung thanks the person and ends the call, but once that is over he doesn’t even know what to do with himself. His hands find their way to his lips and he busies himself with picking and peeling. His lips weren’t chapped by any means, but they weren’t exactly soft, and there was a sting of pain every time Jinyoung’s nails caught onto a particularly rough patch.

BamBam sighs, looking at his anxiety-ridden boyfriend out of the corner of his eye. Even if he was the one who kept telling Jinyoung to stop worrying and thinking so much, he certainly did his own share. Instead, he opts just to place his hands over Jinyoung’s and squeeze comfortingly.

Jinyoung has never told him about Eunbi and how he had gotten Yugyeom, and BamBam has never asks. It is the unspoken line of uncertainty between the two. Jinyoung sees it as something to hold on to, perhaps in the case that BamBam doesn’t work out the way he wishes. He doesn’t know how BamBam feels about not knowing, and Jinyoung knows he would have to tell the younger at some point. But for now, he is content with just gripping onto his boyfriend’s hand, using him as an anchor to the real world.

Jinyoung is more worried than he would let on; it feels like a fever dream to him. Is there a proper way to react? How is he even supposed to react to the news? Jinyoung can hardly think, his grip on BamBam’s hand tighter than intended.

What if Jaebeom didn’t make it either? What if Jinyoung never apologises to Youngjae? What if Yugyeom– Jinyoung can feel a tear fall but if he acknowledges it he knows he will break down. He cannot. He needs to be strong.

But when the taxi arrives and they step out into the hospital, the pristine, almost imperceptibly off-white walls and floor, Jinyoung can feel his resolve crack. His paper-thin facade of strength. He can hear his heart roaring in his ears, can barely hear the receptionist and nurse explain that Yugyeom is still in surgery, only somewhat understands when they direct him to the room where Youngjae waits.

Though BamBam basically supports him all the way to the door, Jinyoung stops just short of it. “BamBam-ah,” he breathes, “I don’t think I can go in.” He can feel the sweat, sticky on his forehead, his throat, dry. He swallows. “BamBam-ah,” he tries again, voice just as weak and thick.

BamBam’s hand is the only thing grounding him, Jinyoung feels like he’s floating away like a balloon, his hand the string connecting him to the real world. BamBam sighs, his free hand coming to grasp Jinyoung’s and turning the older to face him. “Hyung, if you don’t go in and talk to Youngjae, you may never do it. You need to talk, both of you. He’s important to you, you can’t throw this away.”

Jinyoung just looks up at BamBam, eyes shining and tears dripping down his face, larger than BamBam had seen and rolling into each other and dripping onto their connected hands. “Bam–”

BamBam looks around, and quicker than a blink, presses his lips against Jinyoung’s and pulls back. “You can do this, Jinyoung. Go in there. Talk to Youngjae. Not even about your problems or resolving your fight. Be there for him. Don’t let your differences take away your friendship.”

With a little resistance, BamBam untangles his fingers from Jinyoung’s and guides him into the room where Youngjae lays. He hangs back around the door while Jinyoung treads forward carefully, as if walking too fast would cause Youngjae to break into pieces.

“Hey, Youngjae,” Jinyoung starts carefully, “how are you?”

Youngjae turns at the sound of Jinyoung’s voice, eyes levelling at Jinyoung. “Let me think about it...you know, it just hit me that I'm doing just fine.” Jinyoung winces at both the pun and the tired fierceness in Youngjae’s voice.

“Is it serious?” Jinyoung doesn’t think he has the energy to respond to Youngjae’s jibe and it seems Youngjae doesn’t either.

Youngjae sighs as Jinyoung comes to sit in the chair beside his bed. There’s a moment of silence, and then Youngjae speaks quietly. “I’m sorry.” Jinyoung’s brows furrow and he leans forward to grasp at Youngjae’s hands.

“What are you sorry for, Jae? It wasn’t your fault.” The words feel like lead in his mouth. No, it wasn’t Youngjae’s fault, but Jinyoung can’t help but let his thoughts stray to all the possibilities of how the accident came to be.

“It–” Jinyoung shushes him quickly.

“Youngjae, please, don’t talk about it. I don’t think I could talk about it if I wanted to.” Jinyoung bows his head as if ashamed, but Youngjae nods his head in understanding, letting his warm hands comfort Jinyoung.

The two men exchange no words, letting the silence envelop their quiet comfort. The only interruption was a nurse coming in to check up on Youngjae, and that was when Jinyoung left to use the bathroom, though the both of them knew that was a thinly veiled excuse to remove himself from the suffocating hospital room.

To his surprise BamBam wasn’t where he left him, nor did he enter Youngjae’s room. Jinyoung found a text from the younger boy telling him that he was going to go get a card and gift for both Youngjae and Yugyeom. Though Jinyoung was a tiny bit disappointed that BamBam wasn’t going to be there, he understood wanting to get away, and just sent the younger a text to return soon.

After some deliberation, Jinyoung added another text stating he wanted to talk. After a moment, BamBam reads the text but sends no reply, and Jinyoung can only hope the younger isn’t worrying. Two people simultaneously worrying about the same people while waiting alone together is never a good mashup.

Jinyoung returns to the hall outside of Youngjae’s room, dropping into the bench on the side. He can’t do anything right now and he’s never felt his heart break more. He hates this feeling. The feeling of being able to do nothing, of being alone. And though Youngjae is sitting in the room next to him, eyes probably trained on the tv on the wall across from him, Jinyoung can’t help but feel the walls closing in on him like he’s the only one in this goddamned hospital. How could this have been prevented?

Was he a bad father? No, no, how could he have known? But he should have anticipated anything. Been prepared at least. And here he is, a mess in Youngjae’s room, not knowing shit. He feels stupid.

“Hey, Jinyoungie,” a familiar voice breaks Jinyoung out of his haze. Jaebeom is currently squatting in front of him, hands outreached. Jinyoung must have been sitting here for hours. “How are you doing?”

Jinyoung can physically feel his bottom lip start to quiver and he can’t tell if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Probably the latter. Jaebeom makes vague cooing noises not dissimilar to the ones he uses on cats, but Jinyoung can’t seem to bring himself to roll his eyes. Instead, he blubbers out a “Hyung” and falls into Jaebeom’s arms.

God, he’s such a loser. He can't help but be embarrassed as Jaebeom hums and pets him, stroking his hair softly, but it’s comforting to be in his hyung’s arms. He feels like a child again, his mother comforting. But the crown of his head feels wet. When Jinyoung looks up, a fat tear drips onto his cheek. Jaebeom is crying as well. Jinyoung feels even worse about himself. His friend has just received nes, and instead of taking time to himself, Jaebeom immediately rushed to Jinyoung.

When Jinyoung starts to pull away, Jaebeom doesn’t let go of his arms, looking up at him with such a face that Jinyoung immediately plops back down onto the floor. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“I thought that maybe you’d want to go see Youngjae or something?” Jaebeom laughs with a hint of an emotion Jinyoung can’t place and shakes his head. His hands stay clasped to Jinyoung’s.

“If I see him right now I might cry even more than I already am.”

Jinyoung frowns at that, pulling away and fully standing. “Hyung, go see Youngjae. He was just in a fucking crash, go cry. It’ll be fine.” Jinyoung pauses in his words when he sees Jaebeom looking up at him with wide eyes, but his resolve hardens. Nothing will be resolved if they don’t walk to each other, trust him, he knows. “I’m going to go find BamBam.”

Jinyoung can feel Jaebeom’s betrayed eyes on his back as he moves down the halfway, but he promises himself that he’s making a good decision. Even if his thoughts are eating at his mind as he wanders aimlessly through the halls of the hospital. He knows a couple nurses are whispering about him but he’s just trying to find the exit.

“Jinyoung? What are you doing here?” Jackson? Jinyoung’s confusion shows on his face as he turns to see the older man smiling and waving from down one of the halls. “I was waiting for Mark to finish up his exam,” Jackson answers Jinyoung’s unspoken question.

“Ah.” Jinyoung is still not sure of what is occurring around him, barely managing to respond with one word. Jackson waits patiently, letting Jinyoung gather his thoughts. “Youngjae and Yugyeom, ah, they–”

Jinyoung is saved from responding (or is it really being saved?) when a nurse comes up to smile at Jinyoung before turning to Jackson. “Mr. Wang, Mr. Tuan has finished his check-up. You’re welcome to go back in.”

As the nurse leaves, Jackson turns to Jinyoung with a smile still on his face. “Want to come in? Mark will be happy to see you.”

Jinyoung just nods—anything to avoid thinking about Yugyeom and Youngjae and Jaebeom—and follows Jackson back down the hallway. Maybe he’s a little bit of an idiot for just ignoring his problems, but everyone is a genius in hindsight.

The door creaks open to reveal Mark sitting at the edge of a bed with his eyes closed as he breathes out deeply. The sight confuses Jinyoung but Jackson is unperturbed, just beaming and walking up to Mark. “Hey, Markie! Guess who I found!” Mark just grunts, tilting his head up to face Jackson but not opening his eyes.

Mark sighs heavily. “Is it Jinyoung?” Mark’s voice is almost void of any emotion and excitement, and Jinyoung doesn’t move from his spot right next to the door. Jackson, however, doesn’t have any restraints and laughs loudly.

“Yeah! How did you know, Markie? Oh, nevermind that. But yeah, it’s Jinyoung! We keep running into him.” Mark grunts, finally opening his eyes and sending a small smile to Jinyoung.

“Nice to see you, Jinyoungie. What brings you here?” He’s short of breath, Jinyoung notices, but says nothing about it.

“Yugyeom and Youngjae got into a car accident.” It’s strange saying it out loud, as if Jinyoung is speaking it into existence. All this time, it was just a fever dream but now it is real, solid. It happened.

Jackson’s eyebrows furrow and he jumps up. Mark gets up as well, albeit a bit slower. “Oh my God,” Mark breathes out. Jinyoung refuses to look either of them in the eye. If he does it might become even more true than it really is. Even now, he’s hoping he’ll wake up and Yugyeom will be curled up on his chest, like how the child often ends up every night.

But when he blinks, Yugyeom is not there, in the comfort of Jinyoung’s bed. Yugyeom’s surgery. Jinyoung’s standing in Mark’s hospital room, both Mark and Jackson looking at him with both pity and unsurety in their eyes. He can’t do this. Jinyoung can’t breathe. There’s an unsettling feeling in his stomach.

Jinyoung turns around, finds the nearest trash can, and retches. Mark starts and Jackson hurriedly makes his way to Jinyoung, placing a soothing hand on his back. Jinyoung can’t seem to stop emptying his stomach of nothing and his soul of everything though. Jackson’s hand on his back is grounding but Jinyoung needs BamBam. Where is BamBam?

Jinyoung jerks his head up, stumbling to his feet and bumping into a wall. He can’t seem to regain his balance but he fumbles for his phone. “Hey, hey, you need to sit down,” Jackson tries to say but it feels like cotton is stuffed in Jinyoung’s ears. He can only hear the roaring of his own blood. He can’t breathe.

“Bam”—Jinyoung chokes out the name, thrusting his phone at Jackson haphazardly—”call BamBam–”

Jinyoung only gets out half the words he wants before Mark finally stands and comes over, placing his hand on Jinyoung’s shoulder. “Hey.” His voice is low, quiet, and grounding. “Come on, let’s go sit on the bed, all right? It’s going to be alright.” Jinyoung is all but hoisted onto his feet by Mark and led to the lone bed.

He can’t tell when he’s sitting nor when he’s standing, just that Mark is beside him and rubbing small circles into his back.God, why now? Why in the middle of the goddamn hospital? He couldn’t have had a mental breakdown in private? Jinyoung knows he’s being unreasonable but he can’t help his mind from running a million miles a second.

“Jinyoungie?” Jinyoung’s head snaps up and he can faintly make out BamBam through his blurry vision. “Oh, Jinyoungie.”

The blob moves closer, and Jinyoung can see BamBam’s soft face through his thick tears. “BamBam,” he blubbers, and he’s not afraid to admit it (well, maybe just a little). Jinyoung holds out his arms and BamBam laughs softly but not unkindly as he settles in Jinyoung’s lap to properly wrap his lanky arms around Jinyoung.

Mark and Jackson quietly leave the room to let the couple have their moment, and as soon as the two are gone, Jinyoung buries his face into BamBam’s neck. The younger doesn’t pull away at the tears and snot pressed into his neck, only pulling Jinyoung even closer and murmuring nothings into Jinyoung’s soft hair.

OnceJinyoung has cried until his eyes dried up, he finally pulls away, wincing at the wetness of BamBam’s neck. “‘M sorry,” he mumbles out, but BamBam, bless him, just chuckles softly.

“If my parents could deal with my endless messes and sobs as a child, I can dea with your perfectly valid tears.” Jinyoung looks away at that, but BamBam’s hand finds its way to Jinyonug’s chin and draws the older to look at him again. “Really, Jinyoung. I do love you, you know. It’s all right. Let’s get cleaned up, yeah? Then we can go find out what happened. I’ll be here for every minute of it, all right?”

Jinyoung nods almost miserably, leaning around BamBam and grabbing a handful of tissues from the box on the bedside table. He wipes sullenly at BamBam’s neck, but cracks a smile when BamBam whines and tries to wipe off the tears and snot with Jinyoung’s sleeve. BamBam holds a hand and there’s only a beat of a heart (Jinyoung’s or BamBam’s, who would ever know) before Jinyoung takes the leaner man’s hand.

“I’m sorry,” Jinyoung can’t help but whisper again. BamBam says nothing and just wraps an arm around Jinyoung’s shoulders. There’s not much he can or would say but it’s enough for Jinyoung. He can make it through this if BamBam is there with him.

Mark and Jackson are waiting anxiously outside the door with a man Jinyoung doesn’t recognise. “Hey, Jinyoungie,” Jackson starts to say carefully, “this is Doctor Kim Seokjin. He’s here to tell you about how Yugyeom is doing.”

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halloweeniegal · 6 years

Text

GOT7 Reaction: Their Ex Starts Dating Another Member

LOWKEY MADE ME SAD KINDA ANGST OW

Warnings: some sad stuff :( violence if you squint a bit.

Jaebum:

His heart felt heavy within the confines of his chest, almost hearing it crack straight down the middle at the sight that greeted him. There you were, your hand tangled in Youngjae’s. It was something he least expected; for one of his best friends to date his ex. He still wasn’t over you, which made the whole situation even harder for him. He wished with all his might that he was the one holding your soft hands. That he was the one kissing your plump lips.

He just wanted to be held by you again. Your hand in Youngjae’s being a sign that he could never feel that again. He could feel the floodgates of his eyes daring to spill as your head turned, your beautiful E/C orbs locking with his own. His heart pounded against his ribs. He wanted so bad to run up to you and lift you up in his arms, but he knew he couldn’t.

You looked at him with heavy pity in your eyes, your heart aching at the sight, but you knew you couldn’t handle him anymore. Maybe it was a mistake for you to try to move on with Youngjae, but you were desperate to move on from what held you back so much.

Jinyoung:

He felt angry. Furious even as he looked between you two. You were cuddled into Jaebum’s side, giggling like a little schoolgirl as your fingers traced circles on his bandmates thigh. How could his own friend betray him like that? He was seething as he continued to stare. If looks could kill, Jaebum would be far from gone by now. Jaebum gulped as he avoided his gaze, you doing the complete opposite and locking eyes with him.

You could see the anger rolling off of Jinyoung in hot rays, only reminding you of why you left him in the first place. You sighed, quickly turning your attention back to Jaebum, not noticing that Jinyoung was now standing up and making his way towards the both of you.

“So this is what so called best friends do? Turn around and date their ex that they know they still love?! So fucking much for friendships. I can’t believe I ever fucking trusted you.” Jaebum quickly stood up to hide you from Jinyoung’s gaze, only angering him further. Jinyoung’s arms reached out to push Jaebum back, causing your new boyfriend to stumble before he threw a punch in Jinyoung’s direction. You yelled as you got in between them before it could escalate any further. Jinyoung grabbed your face and kissed you with such passion if left your knees weak before Jaebum pulled you away.

“I’m gonna make you wish you never left.” Jinyoung turned around and stomped off, your eyes never leaving his back.

Mark:

He felt numb. He couldn’t even think of a proper way to respond as he stayed deathly silent, frightening the boys surrounding him. His aura was almost dark as he watched your hand slip into Jackson’s, your fingers gripping his own. His hand clenched into a fist as he watched, still not over what he had with you. You still looked as beautiful as the day he met you and he wanted so bad to turn back time to that day so he could fix everything he ever did wrong. Jackson’s hand in yours caused his anger to overencumbered his emotions, the sadness and regret only a secondary thought of his.

“Jackson.” He called out, causing your new boyfriends head to turn towards him, a confused but innocent look on his face. He was startled to see Mark sitting there, a small smile stretching at his lips. You had also turned to watch the interaction.

“Do you really think dating my ex is a way to prove your friendship to me?” Jackson choked on his own saliva as Mark spoke up. Instantly feeling guilty, but gripped your hand nonetheless.

“I’m sorry Mark, but I’m in love with her.” Jackson slowly rubbed at the back of his neck, feeling slight relief as you reassuringly rubbed your thumb against the back of his hand.

“Well I guess you just lost one of the best friends you’ve ever had.” Mark sighed as he stood up and seemed to walk towards you, but only brushed shoulders with you, ignoring you both.

Youngjae:

He instantly wanted to cry when the both of you stepped into the room, your hands laced together in complete happiness. Youngjae found himself biting his lip to hold back his cries as he let silent tears fall down his cheeks, watching how Jinyoung did what he once did to you. He wanted so bad to be back in that place. You were still his everything.

His head dropped as he stared into his lap, pretending to be napping as he let the tears fall, realizing he lost his whole world and handed it right over to one of his closest friends. He didn’t want to cry. He didn’t want to let you know that he still desperately wanted to be called yours but he couldn’t help it, his lip quivering. His breath came out in stutters as he felt someone sit next to him, he didn’t even care to glance, just enjoying the comfort of the hand that now rubbed softly at his back.

You sighed as you watched him, feeling Jinyoung pull you into his side, kissing your temple. Your heart almost broke at the sight, watching the person you once called your ray of sunshine falling apart only feet away from you. You wanted to kiss his temple as Jinyoung did yours and let him know that he would move on from you, but you knew it would only make it worse so you kept to yourself as you cuddled into Jinyoung’s side.

Jackson:

His heart ached for you, but he was happy. Seeing the smile on your face as Mark’s lips met your cheeks warmed his entire soul. He wanted you to be happy, even if the source of your happiness wasn’t him. He couldn’t lie that the sight of his best friend showing the affection he once did to you certainly did tug at his heart strings. But he couldn’t help but to feel content. Your happiness was his.

“I’m happy for you guys.” He finally spoke after walking up to you both. He smiled in reminiscence down at your figure before moving his eyes to his friend. The soothing smile Jackson wore made you happy, but sad at the same time. You knew he still loved you, but you also knew that he wanted nothing but happiness for you; and you had that right next to you.

“Thank you Jackson.” Your smile still caused elephants to stomp around in Jackson’s churning stomach but he eased down the feeling as he leaned into hug both of you.

BamBam:

He was almost resentful as he watched you laugh into Yugyeom’s shoulder, his hand landing on your inner thigh as he stared down with you with endearment swirling in his eyes. BamBam could feel his anger bubble as he let out a bitter laugh when you leaned in to peck Yugyeom’s lips. You both turned to look at him, nervousness spreading in your bones.

“You really left me for him?” His voice was seething, your hands shaking with anxiety as Bam raised himself from the couch on the other side of the room.

“You took everything from me, just to give it to him.” He sounded almost in disbelief. Wondering why in God’s name you would leave him only to date one of his best friends. Now he didn’t even feel like calling Yugyeom that.

“You meant everything to me y/n…” He shook his head slowly, dropping his sight to gaze at the floor beneath his feet. Your heart dropped to your stomach when you watched a couple tears fall to the ground below.

“I’m sorry Bam…” you stopped mid sentence as he held up your hand, ignoring your pleas for forgiveness.

“You know I shouldn’t care about what you have to say… but I still do.” He broke down in front of both of you, Jackson and Mark rushing up to him to comfort their friend.

Yugyeom:

Yugyeom’s heart still yearned for you. He spent the last few months since you both had split sending flowers to your doorstep, each day having a letter that held one more reason he loved you. He was desperate to win you over again, and that’s why when you walked in with BamBam’s hand dangerously low on his waist he broke down.

He wanted you so bad, and seeing you with one of his bandmates was just a confirmation that you were moving on from him. It stung within his ribs as he clutched at his chest. His vision was blurry as silent tears steadily fell down his cheeks.

“Yugyeom, are you okay?” Youngjae asked, moving to wrap his arm around the youngest’s shoulder. His hand rubbed comfortingly as Yugyeom sobbed, failing to notice how your head turned at the mention of his name.

You were already in the process of letting him go, the love you held for him already churning into sweet memories that you could always smile back on. You felt remorse for his state, but you couldn’t find it in you to crawl back towards him, the love that dwelled in your chest for BamBam keeping you where you stood.

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gotbts7fics · 4 years

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Positive | Three |

| Two | April 2017 | Four |

It was the middle of April by now, you still weren’t feeling good, your hormones were chaotic and you were currently sitting at an empty table with a cold dinner in front of you. This happened, it was normal. Jaebum would get busy and be late, normally it was fine, however today it was not fine. You knew the moment he came through that door you were going to pick a fight. A very bad fight. Jaidyn had been so disappointed when he hadn’t showed up for dinner since it was the third time this week that dinner plans fell through. She was missing him, you were angry, and the poor guy wasn’t even at fault. This was the life you had signed up for and until now, were capable of handling it, but pregnancy was making you crazy. So you sat at the table, watching the meal you had made get cold, your daughter long since going to bed after her dinner was finished. It was approaching ten when you heard the front door keypad beep, signalling the entry of the only other person who had the pin code. You could hear him shuffle to take his shoes off, him padding towards the kitchen where you were currently sitting in the dark.

Jaebum assumed you had already gone to bed, he had noticed you were so tired lately, barely making it to eight on a good day. So he was shocked when he flipped the light on in the kitchen to see you, sitting there, looking like a corpse.

“Aissssshhhhhh! Wow, you scared me” He chuckled as he approached to give you a kiss. You leaned away from him, which judging by the look on his face, he assumed it was because you were angry.

“I’m sorry, I know this is the third time this week I missed dinner. We’re just so busy with the Japan tour that I can’t sneak away earlier. You have every right to be upset.” He said crouching down in front of your chair, resting his chin on on your lap. It was the moments like this that killed you. He was genuinely sorry for making you wait, for making you feel like you weren’t important. It was these same moments that made you want to tell him the truth.

“I know JB, but I can’t keep doing this. I love you but I’m so tired” You said barely audible, your resolve cracked, you were to exhausted to fight.

“Baby, I know. And I am sorry. You give me so much and ask for nothing. All I can do is love you and show you how much you mean to me. I know I suck sometimes, especially when you’re so patient and understanding with me and my career. You and Jai mean the world to me, its crazy how much love and support the two of you give me, making me feel like the luckiest man in the world.” He stood from his crouching position and kissed your forehead. His gaze then shifted to the cold plate of food in front of you.

“Did you not eat? Y/N you need to eat. Let me heat up the food. Then we can cuddle tonight, can I stay the night?” You nodded, feeling the tears fall down your cheeks. You would give yourself tonight, just one more night with the man you loved.

You woke up the next morning later than usually, thankfully it was a Sunday so you hadn’t been late to work. You remembered how the night before had found you tangled in the sheets, Jaebum pleasing you and making you see how sorry he was. It had been all about you and the pleasure you deserved. Turning over to look at the empty side of the bed he had vacated, sent a shooting pain through your chest. You sat up slowly from your position, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes and feeling the ache between your legs. Looking around the room you noticed a vase with a rose that had not been on your dresser the night before. As you untangled your legs from the sheets, raising up and heading to your dresser, you noticed the little note beside the vase.

“Babe, I let you sleep in this morning because you deserve it.

I packed a bag for Jaidyn and brought her to the company for the day.

Don’t worry about anything. I figured she would like to see everyone before

we left for Japan in a few days. If you want to come by later, please do.

If not, we will be home at dinner time. Don’t cook. I will bring you your

favourite spicy rice cakes.

I love you

JB”

You read the note three times before the tears began falling. You were so hopelessly in love with this man. He was so incredible to you, and yet here you are, selfishly stealing more time with him before you shattered his world to protect him. The tears had finally stopped after a hot shower. Dressing in jeans that still fit and a lose fitting t shirt under an oversized sweater, you slipped your shoes on and headed to his building. One day, you just needed one day. This was the lie you kept telling yourself.

The scene you found when you walked into the dance studio was one of chaos. Apparently, it was break time and the boys had put on music just to goof around too. Your child was in the middle of an epic dance battle with Youngjae, as the other men surrounded them, shouting words of encouragement to the little human, and taunts to the older male. No one had noticed you yet, so you pulled your phone out to capture a video, something you often did, but now it was for a much more different reason.

“Y/N!!!!!!” Yugyeom called out, finally noticing you after several minutes. Quickly putting away your phone you walked towards the men in front of you, all of them simultaneously turning towards you. Jaebum broke away from the group and walked over to stand behind you, wrapping his arms around your middle. Your breath hitched, thankful that you weren’t really showing yet and that the sweater provided extra padding for the tiny little amount of chub you accumulated on your tummy, something easily passed off as bloating.

“Maman~!, JB Appa and the oppas are so funny today! You’re just in time for the dance party.” She said while spinning around

“Jaidyn-ah, Oppa wants ice cream, shall we go to the store?” Jackson said, sticking his hand out towards her.

“Yes!!!!” she squealed in delight.

“Hey, wait a minute. It’s almost dinner time. You can’t feed her ice cream” Jaebum piped up, looking at Jackson sternly.

“We’re going to be gone for like a month, let me spoil my princess!” Jackson whined, grabbing your child and running for the door. Yugyeom and Bambam followed directly behind them.

“Um, you better supervise that shopping trip” You said as you nodded towards the door. Jaebum sighed beside you, reaching around to kiss your cheek.

“I’ll be back” he said as he walked after the group who had just left.

“I’ll be here” You smiled.

Youngjae had went to lie down on the couch and Mark followed suit. Jinyoung was sitting against the mirrors on the floor.

“We love when she is around. I can’t believe she is almost eight now.” he said as you went to sit next to him.

“Try being me. It’s crazy”

“Thank you for being so patient with Hyung. Not only are the rest of us thankful to have met you, but you really complete him.” Although his words were sincere, you couldn’t help but feel bitter.

“I really love him Jinyoung, always remember that. I will never love another man the way I love him.” You mumbled looking down at your hands in your lap. You neglected to see the quizzical look on Jinyoung’s face at your statement. He didn’t question you, but he felt it rather odd that you would say something like that. So he just wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you close. You snuggled into him and basked in his warmth, silently praying you would not start crying. God, everything made you cry these days, this was so different from your first pregnancy. Jinyoung opened up his phone and you two watched videos until the door to the studio opened a while later.

“You know, I’m not sure how I feel about my girlfriend wrapped in another mans arms” JB said, as he walked in, holding your daughter’s hand. He cocked an eyebrow as he looked between you and Jinyoung. The two of you laughed at his reaction. The remainder of the night was full of love and laughter between everyone.

A few nights later, as you lay on the couch, you felt what you believed to be the first flutter of movement of the impending human to be, growing in your tummy. It was at that moment, fifteen weeks pregnant that you knew it was time. Jaebum was set to leave in a week for month long promotions in Japan, so it was time to let your fairy tale life end. You had been selfish to keep this relationship going, to make him believe everything was going to be okay. You knew how the members of GOT7 were going to be angry at you, not just for hurting him, but them too. You were going to rip yourself out of their life, bringing the little girl they had grown to love with you. There was no winning in this situation. The emotional turmoil had brought you down so much.

“Hey, what are you thinking about?” A voice caused you to jump out of your skin, hand flying up to your heart.

“Jesus, I didn’t hear you come in” You gasped out.

“I’m sorry, I called your name, like five times. What is going on in your head” JB asked as he sat down beside you, arranging your feet on top of his thighs. A worried look on his face.

“Stuff, I guess I am unhappy about a lot lately” You figured it was now or never.

“about what? Is it your job?” He honestly didn’t have an inkling of doubt in your relationship. That was the worst part. The two of you got along and understood each other so well. The age difference didn’t matter, both of you respected the other and supported each other through everything. You two weren’t perfect by any means, and although rarely, there had been many fights that resulted in screaming. Usually the other removing themselves from the situation and saying that they needed time to cool down and then talk rationally, but it was never anything that couldn’t be fixed. You guys were mature about many things.

“No JB, it’s about us.” You said sitting up, removing your legs from his body. He stiffened at that, probably trying to figure out where he had gone wrong, trying to rectify whatever mistake he made.

“Is it because I am never around? I know it can be hard, but you know this is what it is like with me. Come on, we’ve been at this three years. We can make it.” He said with a smile, ruffling your hair.

“Look, I’m not going to blame you. I signed up for this. I chose this. In the beginning it was okay, but now.. god you’re almost never around. Like ever. Plans are always broken. I go weeks without seeing you. It sucks” You groaned out.

“I know, but I try to message you as much as possible. You know I try. I’m so thankful you have been understanding of my career. You never needed to be. So please, just hold on a little longer. Look how far we come” He pleads, you can hear the tension in his voice now. Him realizing you weren’t letting it go like you normally did when this conversation would start.

“You always say that! I love you, don’t doubt that, but I want more. I want more time with you, I want to have normal dates. God, I want to post on social media about my happy family. But I can’t, and don’t even for a second tell me that I will be able to. You know as well as I know it doesn’t happen for a korean idol.” You let your voice raise in anger. To be fair, this was not how you wanted it to play out, but emotions were running high, and you were so tired of holding it together.

“No, you can have that. You just need to give it time. Come on. You know this. Were really getting popular now and you know I have a duty to the boys —-” You cut off his rant.

“Fuck them. I am greedy, I want it to be about me for once. I’m tired of being second. I am so fucking tired of it! Of you breaking dinner dates, missing out on Jaidyn’s things. You can’t even pick her up from school. I’m a single mom, and it sucks!” You snapped at him.

“No baby, not at all. I fully accept the role of her father figure, you know that. I love that little girl so much. I would do anything for her. Baby come on.” He was grasping at straws, trying to diffuse the situation, trying to make you believe in him like you normally did.

“No Jaebum. I don’t doubt you love her, hell I see how you are, but you’re not here. You miss the gymnastics competitions, the school plays, fuck even just like going on a random adventure to the Han River. You’re never there.” You were crying now. Something JB hated and knew only happened when you were really feeling frustrated and hurt.

“Look, I know it’s not easy. I can understand how you feel, but my career, we just need to hold on a few more years. Then we can go public, get married and be open. Right?” Jaebum he pleaded with such sincerity in his eyes. He really didn’t like how this conversation is going. For some reason this one felt different then the other ones you two had had before.

“I can’t. I am exhausted. I can’t do it anymore.” You said getting up, walking towards the kitchen to get some water.

“Really, just like that. You’re going to throw away three amazing years because you’re feeling a little butt hurt right now” His temper had finally snapped, and he couldn’t stop the words he was spewing, yelling at you. Normally holding it together much better than you, but tonight, with the emotions in the air, he lost his cool.

“This is selfish. You’re not the only one in this relationship. Do you honestly think I like leaving you? Hell we have a child together! I have been in that little girls life for three years. That is my daughter. We need to stick it out because I will not fucking lose her!!!” He had some how gotten in to your face, jaw sticking out and yelling at you.

“You’re not her real fucking dad!” You seethed words laced with venom, regretting them instantly. You had never said that before, even in the middle of a fight. You watched the colour drain from his face, as he stumbled back and his expression instantly became pained, then cold.

“You take that back.” He said in a low warning growl.

“Fuck you.”

“Take. It. Back.” He was in your face again, beyond pissed off.

“Appa?” a sleepy voice came from behind Jaebum. He turned around instantly, expression changing to one of love.

“Hi baby, did maman and I wake you up, we’re sorry. Let me tuck you back into bed” JB took her by the hand and led her back to bed. You went and threw yourself onto the couch, pulling your knees to your chest. This was by far the worst fight you two had ever had. You had said terrible things to him, but you were not going to apologize, you needed to end this. Several minutes passed until you heard Jaebum return to stand in front of you.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” He asked angrily. You didn’t look at him. “Really, you’re not going to have a conversation with me?” Again, you ignored his comments.

“Whatever Y/N, I’m done tonight. I’ll call you in a few days. I love you” He said, still angry. If there was one thing you two always did, no matter the argument, you always said that you loved each other.

“Don’t bother. We’re done.” You said.

“Really? You’re going that far tonight?” He asked, his temper flaring even more.

“Goodbye JB, don’t let the door hit you on the way out” You said picking up your phone as a distraction from the man looming over you. He finally turned around and headed to put his shoes on.

“Whatever y/n” He said as he slammed the door shut.

You waited a minute before you walked over and put the chain on the latch. It was over.

You returned to sit on the couch, you would give anything for a bottle of wine. Instead you cried yourself to sleep.

JB arrived at the dorm in record time, his anger boiling over. He slammed the door with so much force that the window glass rattled. Several heads snapped up to look at him as sank to the floor in front of the door, putting his head into his hands.

“Hyung?” It was Jinyoung who went to him right away, resting a hand on his shoulder.

“I think I just lost them.” Jaebum said, head still in his hands.

“What do you mean?” Jinyoung asked the man, as he sat down beside him. Concern etched on his face.

“I lost them. Y/n and I, we…we got into a fight. I-I-I think it’s over” Jaebum stuttered.

“Don’t be ridiculous, it was just a fight. Couples fight. You two always work it out, she loves you way to much.” Jinyoung reassured him.

“This time feels different Jinyoung, she didn’t even say she loved me as I left, she always tells me she loves me… “ He whispered, tears falling from his eyes. No one said anything for the rest of the night.

It had been five days since the fight. Neither you, nor Jaebum, had reached out to each other. Usually by the second day someone was showing up with food, saying sorry and showering the other with kisses. Although you knew it needed to end, you were still hoping that maybe he would call, even a text. Instead you were met with radio silence and it just made the heart break worse. You hadn’t talked to any of the members of his group, and with them departing for Japan in a few days, the likelihood of you seeing anyone was also very slim. Your three year relationship was over, completely done.

And yet you wanted nothing more than to run to the man who you were pushing away.

“Maman, how come JB Appa hasn’t been home lately. I really miss him. Can he come see us soon” Your little girl asked one day as she was getting ready for school.

“I’m sorry baby, he is so busy. He has to get ready for a month in Japan.”

“Will we see him before he goes?”

“I don’t know baby. I hope so, but if we don’t it’s okay. You know he loves us so much right” You hated lying, but this was not a conversation you wanted to have with her just yet. Instead you busied yourself getting her ready for school. You had two weeks until you were done your contract at your school, so you hadn’t been packing or anything useful yet for the move. The emotions you were feeling were very overwhelming. Guilt, anger, sadness, and relief, were consuming you. You were finding it harder and harder to hid the baby growing in your belly. It was exhausting.

“Jaidyn, grab your bag. We need to go.” You yelled making your way to the front door.

“Coming, Maman, I love you.” She smiled as she slipped her shoes on and grabbed her coat.

“I love you to baby.” You replied, taking her hand and heading out the door.

It was somewhere along the way of dropping your daughter off at school and heading to your own classroom that you received the text. The text you had been praying to come, but not to come. That damn text that was going to put your heart together again, only to shatter it at the same time. It was a wicked trick of fate, really. Having what you longed for so much, only to throw it away. You must have stared at the text for a solid five minutes before you made the decision to not reply.

[8:03am] Jaebum</3: I love you. You deserve everything you want. The dates, social media posts, random adventures. I promise when I get home from Japan, I will become the boyfriend you deserve babe, promise. Hold on just a little while longer, okay. We got this xo.

He honestly knew how to be the best man possible for you, yet you couldn’t be the woman for him. You let your phone screen shut off and placed it in your bag. Jaebum would never be able to fulfill that promise.

#Positive #jb x reader #jb got7 #got7 x reader #got7 #pregnancy au #got7 pregnancy au #jaebum #jaebum x reader

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