#you're so real you understand me

[ilybigman]

i forgot to post this tumblrheads i'm so sorry. ANYWAY. TWO HATS PAGE. THEYMAKE ME SO SO SICK

(once again, appreciated if u don't tag as ship!)

#isat spoilers #in stars and time spoilers #isat #in stars and time #game: in stars and time #loop #siffrin #isat fanart #in stars and time fanart #ouygjgtjggtttt they makeme normal #shoutout to this one person in my tags who said they only tag sifloop as platonic #you're so real you understand me #(that was on my 'cutie patootie stardust!' gif) #i'd go in depth but i don't need to <:) i appreciate no one tagging it as ship so far. love you all #okay i'm done yapping enjooyyy ✨

[tricoufamily]

we're rewatching a television show. doing irreparable damage to my spotify wrapped rn

#i'm a quinn gatekeeper #you say you're a quinn head ⁉ #real quinn heads were watching sad amvs 24/7 like the 'and i've lost who i am and i can't understand' ones + the 'what if quinn died' ones #(?? why were there so many of those what were those) #real quinn heads would only listen to the i don't wanna know version with isolated quinn vocals #REAL quinn heads would only listen to the version of don't stop believing that spliced in that one time she did the smell of wine line #you tiktokers know NOTHING about being a true quinn head #.....ok you know i am 99.9% gay but my sexuality is unlabeled and dianna agron is like. at least 90% of the reason why to this day #like whatever was going on with me from ages 10 to 13 with her- jdkfjsdfs #ts4 #ts4 edit #ts4 cas #the sims 4

[lunarharp]

i wanted to put these four together chatting, cooking, dancing, and trust

#witch hat tag #orufrey #sorry for repost of 3 of these images the 4th is new. #based on kitchen chapter 10 and all the emotions that a COOKING SPINOFF gives me. it looks uh. weird. to me. now #but i understand what i mean. always. i like that art can be a way of capturing that for you (and writing) #secrets and food and the one dance we've danced our whole lives and The mountain apple - your heart - the trust i have for you #“If you're the one saying it then it must be true” no offence but yet again official translation chose something paltry compared to that #What if i would die first before i would poison you but what if your trust in me is killing us #What if you're the one who should be trusted wholeheartedly yet still I'm the one who holds back? Who does not take the apple? #What if this is SO evocative of yet so different to the cantarella scene in utena and cai loses their marbles for real this time #drawing wine drops from the apples makes it look like the snow white apple. i cant take it #a week (or 4 days) of randomly trying to be more intuitive with composition or..idk. this weird sloopy brush is good for that. Sloopy i say

[finemealprompt]

DP x DC Prompt #66

There’s a thief in Gotham, City Boy, who’s been here for a while. It’s already been tricky to catch him, but he’s got a new white haired friend. Bruce can already feel the ensuing headache forming.

#finemeal prompt #dp x dc #city boy #danny fenton #bruce wayne #cameron kim #lmao summer classes are hitting me y'all #my queue has shortened a lot ... whoops #anyway #i love city boy #such a fun mini comic run #if you haven't read it yet #do yourself a favor and try #but i understand if you can't #comics are expensive #and some websites you can pirate them from aren't accessible all over the world #so read if you can #if you can't you're so real for that #i just feel like cameron and danny would love causing havoc in gotham #you can't change my mind

[lightningidle]

Fig's line "I don't think I'm an artist, I think I'm just a good friend" has not left my head at all. Just...

You're Fig Faeth and your horns came in over the summer and you pick up the bard class as a form of adolescent rock 'n' roll rebellion, and it works! It's exactly the outlet you need! You give a guy you just met drumsticks and you start a band and it's good enough that within a year and a half you're touring. You are, in every sense, good at being a bard.

And then, finally, your junior year, you start to take it seriously. Your art goes from an outlet and a form of rebellion to a practice. A discipline. (Can rebellion exist within a discipline?) Your classmates know what they want to do with their work. They all have a thesis statement. And yeah, there's cohesion in the music you make, but you've never had to think about why you make it. You've never sat down and dissected what it is about bass that speaks to you. You've never poured over your lyrics to pick at any deeper meaning. Why should you? You don't play music for a grand design, you do it to... huh, why do you do it?

(Your art is the one form of self-expression that feels as safe as Disguise Self does, because even if you're pouring your heart onto the page and then screaming it in front of thousands of people, it's not like you're really making yourself known. You can sing I'm lonely, I'm scared, I'm furious, and your fans will sing it right back, and there will still be the distance between performer and audience to keep your heart safe.)

Now you're being asked to look inward to explain the artistic choices you're making, and you can't help but recoil at that, because you'd rather do anything than look inward. Meanwhile, your classmates have no problem with it, so you start to wonder if you're a real artist at all. Can your art be authentic if it only exists to bolster a thesis statement? Has your art been unauthentic this whole time because you've never really thought about a thesis statement before? Is that what makes it art, and not just the next track on somebody's teen angst playlist?

You can't think about yourself— acknowledging your own existence makes you want to puke. So if your music is an extension of yourself, (and it is, even if it's just because the spotlight reveals only what you want it to,) you can't think about your music. You can't. You have to. Your grade depends on it.

You're Fig Faeth, and you keep multiclassing because you'd rather be a good friend than a great artist. If introspection is what great art demands, then fuck it. You must not be a bard at all.

#Dimension 20 #fig faeth #fhjy #Idle Chatter #my last two years of college were when I started to get more and more nauseous about my own art #because I wasn't being taught how to make the art I wanted to make #the whole curriculum's focus was on gallery art #which infuriated me! I wanted to make art that didn't have to involve twelve layers of meaning and metaphor to be considered good!! #so I drove myself into the ground time and again trying to make (miserable) work that I thought would fit the criteria of a Real Artist #anyway it's been 4 years and I'm just now picking at why I don't enjoy creating anymore so Fig's whole arc has hit home in a major way #ALSO. AAAAALSO. THE ADHD STRUGGLE WE SEE WITH BOTH FIG AND KRISTEN. LOVING SOMETHING BUT STILL STRUGGLING WITH FOLLOW THROUGH #BEING TOLD YOU'RE NOT DOING ENOUGH WHEN IT'S SO FUCKING HARD JUST TO GET WHERE EVERYONE ELSE IS AND NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY IT'S HARD FOR YOU #it was easy and now that the rubber's hit the road it's hard for you but not for others so it must be YOU that's the problem #you must be lazy or stupid or just not suited to this after all even though it's part of a pattern that has been happening all your life #if you were good enough or cared enough then surely the discipline would come easily to you! the way it comes easily to all your classmates #SCREAMS I gotta stop before I write a second essay in the tags. I'm so normal you can trust me to be normal about D&D characters

[manglam-marfach]

dyke!Chilaios has me understanding breeding kink all of a sudden

#chilaios #that's a lie i understand breeding kink very well lmao #HOWEVER IT MUST BE SAID #they finish up a great scene. hot lesbian sex. all going well. #and laios lies back with her eyes closed. still flushed and sweaty. she rests her naked hand on her naked lower stomach and says. 'hah.... #'did you know ...that tallmen and halflings can have kids together?' Like its just another fun monster fact. #she's trailing her fingers absentmindedly over her stomach now. tracing idle patterns. #'with our lifespans being so similar it isn't even as big a deal as it is for elves and humans. they're even fertile and that's ... #that's really rare for hybrids.' her eyes are still closed. she swallows hard. She's more red now than she was when they fucked. #'you should talk about that next time you're in me. i'd like it...' and she cracks one eye open a sliver #to see chilchuck . BEET. RED. #because Chilchuck DID NOT. KNOW. #She was already fucked out and now she's dying?? she's dying. Laios still has her huge hand resting on her huge smooth stomach #miles and miles of soft skin...that she wants chilchuck to put a BABY in #she's thought about the hypothetical lifespan and safety of the hypothetical baby! is this just a sex thing? is this a for real thing? #chilchuck does not know and does not know which one she's hoping for now!! cause both sound GREAT #AND OF COURSE THERE'S ALSO #chilchuck remembering that conversaion next time Laios's huge huge fingers are inside her. Laios's hot wet breathing by her ear. #Laios's breathing going ragged even though no one is touching HER she is the one toying with Chilchuck right now. She always does that. #between the breathing and the fingers and the warmth and the smell Laios is all around her and she just thinks - #'Laios is so huge. Laios's baby would be so huge. I'd be so huge. Pregnant with it.' And she cums. #rattles her to her fucking core. Chilchuck who HAS BEEN PREGNANT BEFORE realising. holy shit. #i want this fluffy haired socially awkward 26 year old doggirl to . to fuck a baby into me. in a sexy way. #i think . I think it's hot. #enough to turn you to drink isn't it! #u may ask - hey how come chilchuck has a girlcock and has got pregnant? can laios get chilchuck pregnant? #does anyone even have a womb in this situation? I may answer - don't worry about it #a wizard did it. whatever. its a fantasy world. #whatever is sexiest in the moment i don't care #lesbiance

[utilitycaster]

I just want to say, that I agree with almost all of your Critical Role takes and you have 1000% better and more nuanced takes than all of Twitter and I greatly appreciate it! The takes over there regarding Liliana and the gods are just wild and you bring some much needed sanity to the content I see

Thanks! I hope you don't mind because I've been thinking about this re: the Twitter takes but the thing about Twitter and Liliana specifically that I've seen is that there's this really bizarre fetishization of like, the fact that she is a (white) southerner (this also weirdly happened for Birdie though to a much lesser extent, and the person who spearheaded that wasn't even American so I have to assume this is a specific corner of Twitter Culture At Large). And like, here's the thing. It's true that fantasy tends to be very British in its accents, and it's also true that accents in a fantasy world are used to convey the same things we'd assume in our world - RP British for educated, southern American for rural, Cockney for rougher types, etc.

It's also true that laying the exact socioeconomic parallels from our world onto, say, Liliana and Orym (who reads to me as non-regional but I, like Liam, am from the Northeast originally) is a recipe for disaster. Or rather, it's not, but it is going to reaffirm your own biases, some of which are dangerous to reaffirm.

There was a popular post on Tumblr a while back, probably not long after Trump was elected, of someone talking about how they were convincing a relative with the confederate flag towards socialism by appealing to the idea of "isn't in unfair how uneven wealth distribution is and how a small group has so much control" and a number of people were rightfully like "uh, maybe you should focus on the racism" or "hey OP ask your relative who they think that small group in control is because I'm getting a really bad feeling they're going to say it's The Jews." And I feel that a lot of the empathy for Liliana from those spaces feels like that OP. Or in other words: I get that you see your relatives in Liliana. Unfortunately, I cannot help but see me and mine in Orym.

You see someone trapped by circumstance and desperation in a dangerous ideology. I see the fact that I haven't gone to a synagogue in easily 6-7 years without there being a security guard present and usually, the doors locked with someone looking through the window to let you in, and then in the sanctuary there's been an installation so that you can quickly bar all the doors in case an alarm goes off or you hear shots in the lobby.

I think there's a great case for seeing yourself in Imogen, who is in a painful struggle with the fact that her mother does love her very much but is in dangerously deep and has done a number of incredibly terrible and harmful things. That latter point is important, incidentally; I get that cult members sometimes rise through the ranks but all but the leader are being manipulated. But the fact remains that a brainwashed person can still commit atrocities, and in this story, they have, many times over. It's especially true because like...sure, plenty of people are like "I lost my relative to a cult and I just want them back and I couldn't harm them," but also, as we've seen, this cult can and will harm Imogen! Plenty of people are also like "yeah I gotta cut them off, it hurts but unfortunately my horribly bigoted and violent relative, while a victim of brainwashing, is a threat to me too." It's not even the full picture of the Temult side of things, let alone the picture that includes the Vanguard's victims.

I also think the Southern gatekeeping is unhinged because it's like. guys there's QAnon members and other cults across the country; the Confederate flag example above was actually notable in that OP wasn't even Southern so you couldn't even write the flag off as deeply misguided heritage but rather was explicitly being used as a hate symbol. It's awfully presumptive to assume all southerners have the same experience (especially since the Temults are portrayed, physically and in accents, as white southerners, not that the experiences of white southerners aren't also incredibly varied). It's awfully presumptive to assume that people find Liliana threatening because they have no personal experience with people like her; often, it's because they have all too real experience with people like her, and it says something even worse about you if you can say "but you guys, I see me and my family in Liliana" when people are telling you that they see them and their families in Orym. I would not, personally, publicly admit that one's empathy extends to the people who remind you of your family but runs out before it reaches their victims. Nor would I publicly admit that I assume everyone who disagrees with me clearly has never had personal experience with this topic.

I should also note that, as I've noted a number of times before, that these are fictional characters and not real people. Twitter seems to be really fucking bad at grasping that. Like, yes, this is the other thing; I do not think that OP should kill their Confederate flag-toting relative, whereas if Imogen did so to Liliana I'd be like "hell yeah." The former is a real person who I do hope gets deprogrammed, just, you know, maybe adjust those priorities; the latter is a fictional character in a story.

#answered #anonymous #if steel had a southern accent do you think people would feel differently about her? sound off in the comments i guess. #cr spoilers #it really is like. with the people who can't separate characters from real people...there's this assumption #that everyone who doesn't agree with them lacks the same experiences or is bigoted #don't like liliana? well it's because you're not southern. don't like laudna? it's because you're neurotypical and straight and hate women. #notice how none of these carry within them any argument within the text? notice how they just rely on the assumption #that you can only understand things through direct personal experience and not like...thought and empathy? #that if you fit certain demographics you obviously Will hold these exact opinions bc clearly all nd people or wlw are a monolith? #it's like. yeah man i see why you have more sympathy for the vanguard than their victims...you think like a cultist even if you're not one #you say There's Those Who Understand And Have The Mandate of Heaven Because We're (southern or nd or queer or whatever) #and then there's Them The Ones Who Don't Get It And Never Will Bc They're Not Like Us (even though plenty of times...they are) #anyway. as always i am sorry that twitter sucking hurts the careers of countless creatives #but i think it does foster this sort of no-nuance no-argument Me First thinking so. can't be too sorry. #long post

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

do you ever just sit there thinking about your favorite ocs while violently shaking. god. clenches fist. They're So.

#every time a song from their Joint Playlist comes on i go fucking feral #the betrayal the refusal to Let Go the haunting the persisting love the renunciation the resentment the abandonment the resignation #the overwhelming desire to do good vs the fear of admitting you were wrong vs the two people you love most tearing each other apart #AGHHHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK IM SUDDENLY DEEP IN THE ORIGINAL SAUCE #five seconds i was Normal. scribbling welcome home #then One Of The Songs Came On and now im losing my fucking marbles #perceived betrayals leading to real betrayals.... #going too far and now its too late you're Committed you cant go back #he came to you thinking he could make you understand and you could work together to make things Better #and instead you ripped his heart out and left it bleeding on the floor for everyone to see #THEY MAKE ME MORE INSANE THAN LITERALLY ANYTHING #absolutely unprompted #the oc Unwellness comes and goes in waves but its the only true constant obsession with my life #god those three... my dearest darling Trio.... how old are they turning this year? #is it year eight of having them? year nine? #one of the two is for sure how long ive had My Specialest Boy Light Of My Life The Reason I Am Still Alive #the other two came after... maybe only mere months after but he was the first and he is just. i love him so fucking much #he is so so personal to me. he has a permanent place carved out in my chest #he sleeps on my ribs <3 #the other day i was reminiscing about his development over the years. his changes his different Versions #and fuck... he's really changed with me huh?? #his past selves are echoes of my own self over the years #like he is Very different from me but at the same time. i created him with little pieces of myself sewn in #we hold the same views the same beliefs. im not him and hes not me but we're Kindred yk yk #i think i need to go listen to his playlist.... how long is it now... let me check... 15 hours 13 mins... 228 songs... #my gay 5'2 powerhouse of a guy. him <3 #maybe 'them' too he's played fast and loose with gender over the years. holy shit wait #his development echoes mine... i characterized him as 'fucks with gender norms' long before i realized my own gender fuckery #god damn. i love him even more now. i didnt think that was possible. im going to cry. hes so important to me #he has been with me through my worst years... and will be with me through all the hard times to come <3

[beanghostprincess]

I don’t mean it in shippy way, but I’ve been rewatching my childhood shows and

Me, age 8, watching my little pony: wow those two sisters really are so adorable, it’s so sad the younger one felt so unshined by the other. But I like Luna more, since she is an underdog and was kinda right to feel this way, even if it wasn’t her sister fault

Me, age 22, reading one piece 1082: I really didn’t change at all didn’t I

Literally me fr fr I've always liked this type of character and it hasn't changed ever since! Maybe it's the complexity in which they're written. Perhaps it's that I relate to them just a lil bit too much. Whatever it is, misunderstood characters who have all the right to feel envy towards their specific loved ones my beloveds.

#1082 lives in my head rent free i read that shit daily guys #literally i wish i were joking i know that chapter by heart #buggy is so important to me you don't even know #also luna my beloved she wasn't my fav character but damn girl was so real #if you're wondering my fav pony is pinkie pie and before you call me a basic bitch you have to understand that she's just like me fr #one piece #buggy the clown #op 1082

[problemnyatic]

so does putting "men dni" in your shit actually reduce the number of shitheads you get or does it just filter out the dudes who actually care about boundaries in the first place

#also what are the fucking polygender people supposed to do #do you just not want to have to deal with complicated genders?? or does my being a woman sufficiently ''invalidate'' my masculinity enough #because if that's how it is go fuck yourself all the way to hell #do you think men are just born nasty? or universally raised to be no exceptions? what do you think about trans men #look. you're allowed to curate your online experience however you want. I can't stop you #but the ways in which you do so say a lot about how you think about others #i understand that a lot of men get real fuckin nasty in asks and dms and whatever. I'm compassionate to that. #but do those kinds of men even give a shit about dnis??? #have you never been sexually harassed by a woman? i sure fucking have #I just don't fucking get it #i'm extremely nonbinary and deeply frustrated #thanks for letting me know i'm either inherently nasty to you or that pieces of me ''don't count'' for you to hate me. how fucking kind. #problemnyatic discourse #problemnyatic thoughts

[flowercrowngods]

wip Wednesday time wahooooooooo!!

first I'd love some words from Tales of Blue (I LOVE THAT NAME!!!)

ask and ye shall receive, friend 🥰🤍 (also thank you!!)

who did this to you (pt.4) // tales of blue part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | read on ao3 🌷 preceding snippet

They stay like that, both just sort of frozen, like there is no point to them now that they’re not worrying, not fumbling, and only waiting. Waiting to move again. Waiting for colour. Waiting for Blue. 

And Eddie wonders if there ever was a wanderer looking out at the sea of fog, and if he, too, was frozen like Buckley. If he started to shake, too, cast in that unreal kind of hue. If he knew how liminal he’d be until the end of time. 

If Robin would be, too. If she’d wait for him until all she’d be is liminal, cast in the light of the morning that Steve claimed makes her sad. If she’d be aware of the tragedy she’s painted for herself. 

If she already is. Or if the real tragedy is out there with his uncle, and they are just the ones who get to tell the story. Like Horatio, in the end. 

Again, he wants to ask, wants to say something, his mind running away from him with all the stupid similes and images he’s painting, wringing his hands as he can’t stop them from spiralling, can’t stop watching his whole world shift and change while all he can do is wait. 

#steddie #steddie fic #who did this to you #who did this to you part 4 #make me write ask game #eddie is spiralling but in a different way than before because he is exhausted and all the real thoughts have been thought so #now there is only art and literature to really capture how fucked up this situation is. because he still doesn't understand. #(also i'm just Sad this week sooo dramatic eddie is spiralling is where it's at) #(the thing is spiralling is always different when there's a stranger in your home and you don't dare to move bc you're alien) #(if you dont let your spirals venture into fucked up art you know then what are you even doing) (especially in the dark)

[brittlebutch]

finding a character that grates against your nerves and eventually thinking, well, that's not fair, you haven't done anything; why do i dislike you? and then you dwell on this for a while and discover 'oh! you are like me when i was younger' and decide well, i'll simply learn how to love the both of you. power in this.

#N posts stuff #'what are you talking about?' fuck if i know. #but also i'm talking about penny from 'the 7' -- nosy little control freak determined to find Some foothold into Every conversation #it's interesting bc sometimes when i watch i'm like 'this character is played on the Border of metagaming' but the more i think abuot it #the less it Feels like metagaming bc penny Genuinely seems Exactly like the kind of person who just Is That Determined to be #some level of involved in Every situation; 'yeah i know that show you were in' 'Yeah i was listening into this scene from a different hall' #equal parts her being a Rogue character to her core AND her borderline pathological need for control in Every situation #w/ None of the social grace needed to temper this impulse into something more broadly 'palatable' -> very autistic to me in a way #'i don't Get It but if i'm Always Right then that's good bc it's Bad to be Wrong so i just have to Know Everything so that i'm Never Wrong' #or like 'no i don't understand the Rules right but if i can just Be In Charge of the Situation at all times then i'm the one domineering #where this is going and how it unfolds; like if i'm in charge i understand That at least so i will just Always be in charge' #and sometimes this starts fights with your friends and they call you a freak for it and you're like 'hm. i don't know what's going on #but if You said it and You Get People then you must be right so. i will alter this immediately' but penny doesn't have that interaction #because her friends are just like 'yeah i love you And that batshit way of interacting with the world that you embody' and there is a #temptation of sorts to be like 'penny you HAVE to stop that; you NEED to learn that lesson please' but then like. hm. does she? #much to think about. i don't interact w/ people enough anymore for this to impact my interactions with real people lol #but it Is interesting to peel apart a fictional character and find a Younger You in there. i can change how i think about Them at least

[teabutmakeitazure]

me: there's cinnamon in the tea? ugh I don't like cinnamon in tea.

"you're so picky. you have to go to an unfamiliar house, so what're you gonna do if your mother-in-law likes cinnamon in tea? don't have such preferences. it's not attractive on a girl 😄"

yeah I'm busting my ass off and greying my hair and losing weight at an unhealthy rate for my degree so that a lady who I have never met in my life can dictate my life choices before I even meet her. okay.

#just because you're in an unhappy marriage doesn't mean everyone has to suffer for marriage #this probably isnt relatable but i hope people understand why sometimes i writethe shit i do #in twisted but tender the conversation reader has her mom after childe'e visit was a real conversation i had #and then they ask why i dont like the motherland #like yeah. okay. i suffered for 7 years to get into a top 30 university and am still suffering for an engineering degreefrom there just so- #-that random women who didnt even bother to read a book in their entire life because their sole purpose was to get married can tell me what- #-i should and shouldnt be doing and shame me for wanting to live for myself and not some man and his mother whom i have never met in my life #this is why i like war criminals and mentally ill and traumatised men #yeah he'd lock me up in his basement or something but at least he'd LIKE me and not treat me like a maid like the rest of you #good god man get a life and stop ruining mine #this wasnt the only thing she said #she continued to talk about how im too independent and should be eating everything and cooking everything because i wont know what my- #-mother in law and husband would like so i should be trained and not fail in that #i would love to cook for my husband and feed him and take care of him but when u shove it into my face like that I'd rather not marry at all #delete later #20k aventurine fic might take some time #sorry for the delay guys #zuri rambles

[susandsnell]

my hot take on Lizzie: the Musical is that the love story becomes infinitely more compelling the more actors/the production lean into Alice's flaws and selfishness rather than presenting her as some fragile little flower who's the voice of reason (tag novel below)

#lizzie the musical #alice ultimately prioritizes her own feelings and unhappiness over repressing her sexuality over lizzie's mental distress over her abuse #(which in fairness alice isn't really in any position to do anything about) #and she can be very sweet to the people she cares about but that doesn't negate/isn't negated by how she's putting her needs and wants firs #while also willingly being lizzie's refuge because she does love her #then in act 2 her turning on lizzie is. very understandable considering anyone would be scared shitless in her shoes #(whether either of the parents 'had it coming' or not your loved one snapping and committing gory murders is objectively terrifying) #(unless you're mrs. lovett which alice is. very much not though they share a selfishness) #and lizzie trying to use their love/sex to manipulate alice into perjuring for her - thus implicating her - is also obviously upsetting #add to that alice's words during the hearing + her overall proper lady schtick show she's drunk the edwardian patriarchal koolaid #'turn of the tables between me and you' is SO much in a lyric #anyway both of them are acting from a place of real suffering and real love and they're both wronging each other #and THAT is what real toxic yuri is all about #no one in this show is a good person. no one in this show (who is onstage) is an entirely bad person either. #everyone is acting from a place of oppression and pain and anguished love. they are all caged birds!

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.

#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town #but like. We have Differences Of Opinion #and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off #but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks? #like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit' #the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true) #and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic' #and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on #but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't? #you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong? #and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him #but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him #and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit #like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men #but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way' #in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way. #and it made me SO SAD #like bro #I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle #and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope #but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own #like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little #like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang #but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me #like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally. #I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit #But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do. #.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!! #now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy #I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me

[keroujack]

it’s not even the fact that max apparently didn’t care about billy. it’s the fact they went out of their way to rub salt in the wound of everyone that actually does

#billy hargrove #harringrove #st4 #st4 spoilers #just feeling gross about it scoob idk #max not caring is so. whatever. to me. at this point #like. yeah. complicated relationships are raw and real #i understand what it's like to have a shithead older brother #but oh my god. they took it a step too far. and then they took 40 more #'you're brave maxine. much braver than your brother' #idk when it stopped being cruel to dance on the grave of an abused kid but #why are you killing him. he's already dead.