#you still need to communicate

[dontneedmyheart]

x

#this is not a fully formed thought #but i’m just thinking that if buddie does go canon #one of the things the writers could deep dive into is #how they both have kind of complicated relationship with sex #i’ve been thinking about that post about eddie and does he know he can say no to sex #and how buck used to try to fill #heh pun not intended #an empty hole inside himself with meaningless sex #and how bothered he was that he might have not been able to please all his former partners #so i just think it would be such a good character study opportunity to have them figure out those things when it comes to their sex life #just. you know. have eddie learn that he is allowed to say no #and have buck understand that it doesn’t mean #that he failed as a partner #and that there are other forms of intimacy #that aren’t better or worse than sex but equally important #and even when you KNOW the other person #like really truly know them #you still need to communicate #because even in a commited relationship that is based on trust and love and devotion #you still can’t read your partners thoughts #and even if it’s hard at first it will make your relationship even better when you just talk #and that sex isn’t just some wordless agreement that just happens naturally when two people are attracted to each other #but it’s something that you NEED to talk about #and figure out what works best for everyone involved #i don’t know i have other thoughts about this but like i said #they’re not fully formed and i’m not able to articulate them #🤷🏻‍♀️

[ohnotom]

fucking really love getting told i'm doing shit consistently wrong when the people who i rely on don't do their fucking job properly or reply to emails and messages

#this team really needs to understand that I'm not going to be responsible for the ineptitude of others #idgaf if you're “too busy” #you still need to communicate

[androdragynous]

I think a lot of people's advice for selling commissions as a fledgling artist really skims over the fact that selling commissions is like. 90% customer service.

as a small sampler of examples, to sell commissions you have to:

be approachable and professional when advertising and selling your work;

have a clear and understandable terms of service that is either provided or easy to find;

set personal boundaries for what you will and won't draw, AND be able to enforce them, AND be able to do this without explaining every possible reason you have for not doing something (you can Just Say No.);

communicate clearly and often frequently to know what your clients want and ensure you're following their expectations;

be comfortable asking questions about those expectations, and know how to ask for clarification if something is described in a confusing way;

take accountability for mistakes, miscommunications, or delays;

be able to refuse to work for people who are exploiting you without feeling guilty;

manage payment information and receipts in a timely and organized manner (PLEASE use invoices rather than direct transfers)

like everything about selling art is its own post of advice really (I could go on for ages about advertising, and that's not even something I do a lot of) but a lot of people just. overlook the fact that as the artist you are providing a service and you do need the basic skills to provide that service or you're going to run into issues.

#patch me through to palaven command #been thinking about it recently thats all #you dont have to be perfect but you do have to still communicate. at the very least #if messaging people gives you a panic attack you either need to resolve that or find different work

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

#writeblr #warm up #my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky #i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles #yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help #for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT #and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen #than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say #''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help #i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.'' #bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't #actually offer fair support to everyone #we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less. #and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help #bc i DID have it better than other people #and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help. #we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn #instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself

[transmascissues]

i absolutely cannot believe people are trying to start discourse about whether nex benedict was actually nonbinary / whether it was okay for him to describe himself as nonbinary to some people if he didn’t actually identify that way as if he isn’t literally DEAD because he was KILLED. this is a MURDERED CHILD and these monsters are so busy getting mad at the possibility that he might have been a trans boy who described himself as nonbinary to his family because that was easier for them to take that they’re turning a CHILD who was MURDERED into fucking discourse. even when we die at the hands of cis people’s violence, our own community finds a way to make us the villains of the story.

and all of this bullshit on top of the ways that cis people are already trying to say our grief over his death is unjustified. all of this on top of people claiming he wasn’t murdered and speculating on other causes of death (i literally saw someone say he “clearly went home and took the coward’s way out” and i have never been more disgusted) or claiming that he started the fight as if any action on his part could’ve been enough to justify his death. i am haunted by the sound of his father screaming that his child was not filth because that is what people have been saying about this poor kid, that’s how cruelly his memory is being treated, and even the trans community can’t get it’s shit together enough to look past the stupid discourse and see the tragedy in front of us. did you all forget that it was supposed to be up to us to grieve him in the way he deserves when the rest of the world fails to care if people like him live or die? did you all forget that this child was our sibling, the future of our community, a life that we should have had the chance to know and treasure while he was still here but that we now have a responsibility to hold close to our hearts in his absence? nex’s life was precious and it was ended far too soon and if you truly believe that anything is more important than mourning his life and fighting for a world where no more trans people have to meet such an awful fate, you’re a traitor to this community and you do not deserve the place you occupy within it.

i’m so tired. i can’t even imagine how tired his family must be, to see the public treat the child they’re grieving so horribly, to see the world fail their baby again. leave him alone. he was already robbed of peace in life; the least you can do is let him finally have it in death.

#as a trans man whose family still uses they/them and neutral terms for me and would describe me as nonbinary #because that was how i initially came out to them and me being a man is a much bigger hurdle than i have the energy to help them get over #it’s SO deeply disturbing to know that if my life ended in violence #my own community would be more concerned with how my family referred to me in death than with the fact that i was killed #how fucking dare you turn this poor child’s existence into discourse fodder when they aren’t even here to defend themselves #when you only even know who he is in the first place because he was killed #tw transphobic violence #nex benedict #tbh it feels wrong to even add my usual tags to this but i need people to see it so. here we go #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia #exorsexism #trans men #transmascs

[bugflies00]

dsmpblr now all we got is each other and the reblog button

#every time i see people doompost about how theres no one and no art left in this community i just want to shake them by the shoulders #THERE IS!!! THERE ARE!!! of course much fewer than before but THERE ARE STILL PEOPLE PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS #but you need to do your part and REBLOG and INTERACT thats the only way to prevent the community you love from dying!!!!! #alex.rambles.txt #mcyt #fuck it maintagging #dream smp #dsmp #dsmpblr #alex.greatest.hits.txt

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

MDZS Height Poll: Who is (technically) the tallest character. Please remember that these polls are for fun!

#mdzs #poll #Please remember that I WILL see notes and comments and reblogs. Let's have fun with this clearly very silly poll! #I am begging everyone to be nice. We can get icecream afterwards if we all behave. #Propaganda is welcome if you dare take up the bat to swing at the hornet's nest. #As always - I will have a little comic at the end of this poll based on the results!!! #I'm so tempted to sway votes but the beauty is in the community response. You guys always surprise me! #Will the winner be based on technicality? WHO'S technicality? So many choices! #NHS and JGY are a big mood for being 'tall' but labeled short due to being surrounded by 'very tall' people. #Shout out to my little cousin who's a natural 6'1"and STILL wears the 6 inch heels. That's feminism. #I wanted to have the next poll be 'who's in the middle of the bed in the 3zun relationship' but I need to draw for that one. #it's been a rough week for me. Comic resumes tomorrow though - I just have not been home to upload anything via scanner. #I'm alright I promise B'*) Just a chaotic lifestyle. Hope you have all been well <3

[contagious-watermelon]

straight trans guys & aro trans guys solidarity. weird that my whole life I've been expected to be into dudes and now that I'm a guy the lgbts also want me to be into dudes or else they don't really think of me as one of them

and while I'm not attracted to anybody and straight trans dudes are attracted to women, i feel like we're in the same boat here. too queer for the straights and too straight for the queers

#not that i *need* to be a part of the lgbt community like that yk but still #its a little isolating to not fit in with any of the other trans people you find irl #(aside from my trans friends i knew pre-transition obv ily) #(and no shade to the gay & bi people im friends with irl either. this is more abt Generalizing Groups not the individual lgbt people i know) #(Generalized*) #(i fear i may be rambling lol) #transhet #ftm #trans man #aromantic #trans #aro

[ministarfruit]

local alley cat gets beaten up (colourised)

#vtuber #holostars #holotempus #axel syrios #constantly like. do I draw enough doppelgang to warrant a separate tag #but then again it's still them. hmmpst #oh my god. the fact that you need to keep drawing art to get better at it #GRAAHHHHHHHHH #normal again #GRAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #the smudge tool is my new best friend I use it on everything #my mind going in circles and circles thinking about how like #doppelgang king and huntsman can only communicate to their elysium selves through dreams #but prince syrios can literally just call axel on the phone #like they're SO funny for that. what are they #AND VICE VERSA? AXEL CAN JUST CALL HIM? #syrios family said 'interdimensional contact? no problem!' #I really want to make something about this #it would piss regis off SO much #imagine trying so hard to connect to another world #and your rival just has the other world on speed dial

[plead-au]

a compilation of recent PLE:AD AU-related drawings. sorted by oldest to latest

#ple:ad au #object show au #object show community #hfjone #bfdi #bfb #inanimate insanity #ava ledger #airy hfjone #david bfdi #dora bfdi #golf ball bfdi #basketball bfdi #test tube ii #i was actually planning on putting the first 2 images in it's own post but #i dunno i think bundling everything recent into one post would be better i guess #also yes i KNOW i forgot the 'b' in 'remember' if ur even gonna mention it...grr... #also i still need to figure out what David & Dora are gonna look like in PLE:AD AU #y'know(rhetorical) with the whole humanization logic in this AU & such #i had just drawn the last image right now. i think the background fade makes it look pretty cool #also !! if you have any questions for more context about any of the drawings u can ask me !! i will do the answering

[caelanglang]

The Language of Messed Up Kids (who never bothered to talk)

⚠️ blood and weapons

#they’re too gay to communicate your honor #bsd #bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu #nakahara chuuya #soukoku #skk #double black #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #bsd fanart #bsd comics #tw blood #tw guns #i tried to go for a dry medium/color pencil style for this hhhhh the bane of my existence #was inspired by another person’s post here abt how they don’t need to communicate but they badly need to talk and that’s so true lmao #imma reblog that post after this post :3 #how come i don’t see people talking enough abt the piggy back ride in sb—? #also rip timblr ate up a lot of the quality fffff #hope its still understandable thank you for all the lind support so far! here’s my holidays gift to yall here hehehe <3 #spoilers #bsd fifteen #bsd stormbringer #bad dead apple #my art #my art and writing #poetry #my comic

[fruitface]

avatrice, an old married couple

#avatrice #warrior nun #avatriceedit #warriornunedit #wnedit #ava silva #sister beatrice #warrior nun s2 #tvedit #wlwedit #wlwgifs #wlwsource #sapphics #* #literally married from the beginning #argues then communicates and resolves it two seconds later #green flag couple #i originally wanted the what are you 70 bit for this set but though it needed its own post lol #mostly anger born of worry ugh #also still temporarily paralyzed from that cheek kiss

[swordsonnet]

lately, i've seen more people in the online autistic community acknowledging the struggles of people with higher support needs, which is of course an important development. but for some, that seems to come with the implicit assumption that low needs autistics "have it easy" or experience no stigma at all, which is just wrong??? people with low support needs are still disabled by their autism and still face discrimination because of it. sure, they are impaired to a lesser degree than those with higher support needs, but that doesn't mean you can just erase their struggles, y'know?

#sometimes i see posts that are like 'its unfair to say that autistic people have it easy and arent really disabled...' and go yes! exactly! #but then they'll continue like '...because not all autistic people have low support needs' #and i'm like. okay nevermind you dont understand this at all #i have comparatively mild autism (was diagnosed with aspergers back when that was still a thing) #and my autism has still significantly impacted and impaired my life #i think its important to acknowledge the huge range of experiences in the autistic community #and that many others have struggled much more than me #but that doesnt mean its all easy breezy for me and other lsn autistics yknow? #(i guess i would technically be considered medium support needs or something but that's because of my chronic illness not my autism) #i wish people would just. like. listen to other peoples experiences before just assuming that they know everything about their lives #ofc a huge part of this is also some lsn autistics distancing themselves from hsn people and pretending that they're not actually disabled #but not every lsn autistic is like that. and even the ones that are are usually (consciously or unconsciously) downplaying their symptoms #autism #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #this isn't really about the post i just reblogged btw it just reminded me of it #because some of the notes on it went in that direction

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

This election day, I'm thinking of my Nana.

I'm thinking of how as a young woman, she fled political violence in her native Colombia to build a new home in a more stable country. I'm thinking about how she lived a long life, but not long enough to see her home country elect its first ever progressive president (just a few months ago!).

Coincidentally, I was living in Colombia at that time (in the very city she grew up in), and I was able to witness what felt like a miracle. A very conservative country, suffering from the violent inheritance of colonization and catholic invasion and the war on drugs, against a backdrop of the dangerous global rise of the far right--this unlikely country managed to elect one of the most progressive heads of state in the world, in 2022. That's a pretty big deal.

And I'm thinking about this, this election day, because that election was won by a very thin margin. I'm thinking about how it almost didn't happen. I'm thinking about how it was only possible thanks to the highest voter turnout in 20 year. And I am thinking about the countless number of voters who chose to vote for the first time. I am thinking of the poorest and most disenfranchised citizens who showed up at the polls. I am thinking of the indigenous women who rode 12 hours on public buses to vote at the 'nearest' polling stations. I am thinking of all the money and corruption that went into preventing minority citizens from voting, and I'm thinking about how they showed up in the millions and voted anyway.

I am thinking that I would like to see a miracle like that in my own home country.

So if you're on the fence about waiting in line today to cast your vote, I hope that you will think--about the country you want to live in, the future you hope will unfold, and about all of the people it takes to make a miracle.

Because history may deem us nameless and faceless, but when we show up en masse, we are the ones who make history happen.

And yes, maybe also spare a thought for my Nana. Who was in fact a very angry and judgemental woman who supported the republican party for 50+ years, and who would be turning in her grave right now (if the family hadn't had her cremated). Think about the mean angry ghost of my Colombian grandmother, who very much wants you to not show up at the polls to support abortion and other sinful progressive values. Think about her. Do it for her. Do it for Nana.

#Do it! for her #not a shitpost #serious post #politics #ask to tag #I love you Nana but i disagree SO vehemently with almost all of your personal political and religious values #also you should have treated my mom SO MUCH BETTER when she was a kid. all of your kids really #i see you very much as a victim of religious trauma & childhood poverty #followed by the cultural isolation of being a first generation immigrant with no local hispanic community to provide support #plus the failure of late 20th century mental health care almost certainly compounded by medical sexism #recognize sympathize and am indignant on your behalf for all of those reasons and more #but that truth can also coexist alongside the truth that #hot DAMN Nana you and Papa very much failed to provide your children with an emotionally safe and stable environment in which to grow #and me and my sibs are still dealing with the generational trauma #and who knows how many of my cousins. I HAVE TWENTY-ONE COUSINS AND I DON'T TALK TO ANY OF THEM #that is too many cousins to not be in contact with any of them #(and fyi that's on *one* side of the family. on the other side are a dozen half-aunts-and-cousins I've never met #because Other Grandpa was a Certified Piece of Shit) #Anyway. ANYWAY... #apparently i really needed to overshare today. know what? no judgement. judgement free zone #i have no judgement thoughts or opinions i am finally FREE #........gosh that sounds so relaxing #ANYway #yeah. break the cycle of abuse or your descendants will grow up and critique your parenting choices on third-tier social media platforms #when people say 'they will always be remembered' at a funeral--that is a THREAT #what they actually mean is 'OH HONEYBUN YOU DONE FUCKED UP' #.........i want that in my eulogy actually

[saturnalee]

want someone to tease me until i’m a flustered blushy mess and then sit on my thighs to pin me down and wreck havoc on my belly and sides🤗

#sfw tickle #sfw tickling community #tickle thoughts #soft tickles #tickle fluff #tword #tword post #tword community #tickle scenarios #can you tell i’m in a lee mood #i mean i usually am but still #need this today #saturnalee

[pseudowho]

I swear to god, I blinked, and now there are Mahoraga fuckers???

???

???!?!?

#And they're STILL less unhinged than Mahito fuckers #JJK community would dry-hump anything I tell you #Every single one of you is fucking deranged #And I LOVE IT #Is this it?? #Am I writing Mahoragai smut now?? #Am I venturing into monster-fucking territory?? #I need more wine and less sleep for this istg #jjk #mahoraga #Mahoraga smut #megumi smut #jjk smut #jjk sukuna #sukuna smut #megumi fushiguro smut