#you know when you have a blorbo you care so much about you're afraid to make content about them bc what if it won't be Good Enough

[a-lonely-dunedain]

12.............. with Corunir?

So you have chosen... Tur-Morva. *evil laughter* wherein the rescue instance goes horribly awry in a canon-compliant way

“Eth… Help me” Ethedis hears a weak but familiar voice behind her, one that she would be overjoyed to hear in any other circumstances and speaking any other words. She was a split moment from sprinting down the tunnel, where she had heard Bregadir frantically calling for a healer mere seconds ago. 

Instead, she stops and pivots around to see Corunir collapsed on one knee, breathing heavily and bleeding more so, a deep shadow of crimson growing beneath him. Horror sets in the pit of her stomach.

She stoops to steady him just in time as he falls forward into her arms. “I think… wounds reopened…” he mutters faintly as Ethedis struggles to reposition him to asses his injury. 

“Corunir…?” No response “…Corunir!” She calls frantically, still to no avail. He’s fading fast. She fights to bury the panic welling up in her heart. She has to stay calm if she is to have any hope of saving him. She prays someone else heard Bregadir’s call for a healer, she cannot help both of them.

There is a long cut on his stomach, that seems to be the primary source of the blood. The wound is not fresh, seeming days old yet healing very poorly. No doubt an injury sustained during the Grey Company’s capture and left to fester after he was thrown into that dark cell, just beyond the reach of his kin. It seems to have reopened in the battle. His strength has already been long spent, and this rapid loss of blood would be enough to push him over the edge. His face is pale and his breath slows with each moment, he is minutes away from death.

She puts her hand to the wound, applying as much pressure as she can in her already weakened state. “Please… just hang on. Just a little longer…” she pleads, blinking away tears. He cannot hear her. 

She takes a deep breath and turns her mind outwards, beyond herself and this small corridor. She does not know how deep below the earth they are, but deep enough that she cannot hear the slumbering trees or even reach their roots, but she doubts they would be willing to lend her their power anyway, not while it’s still winter. She keeps searching. She finds some moss, it wants to help, but it is too small for this task. 

After a search that, in reality, barely lasted a moment yet it felt like hours, she finally finds something. An underground river, flowing swift and strong beneath the earth, unaffected and uncaring of all else, yet holding great power. She begs the dark cold waters for aid, to lend her its strength and grant this dying man in her arms new life. 

‘Please. Please just buy him a little more time. Let me save him. It isn’t his time yet. Not here. Please.’

There is nothing. The river has no reason to care. She fears it will give her nothing.

Nothing, and then the sound of rushing water thundering in Ethedis’ ears alone, the shock of cold water in her veins, and an unfamiliar power flowing through her hands. Flowing like a torrent of water too powerful for her to tread in such a weakened state, yet tread it she must. She sends it into Corunir’s near-lifeless body. Close the wound, stop the bleeding, give him the strength to survive. 

There is water now, but not from the river, it flows from Ethedis’ eyes. Her hands tremble and her arms burn as though she has been swimming against the current of an ocean. Acting as a conduit of power such as this would test her limits even on a good day, and this was anything but ‘a good day’. 

She cannot do this. She cannot hold onto this river. Corunir is still bleeding. If she stops now it will not be enough to save him, but she cannot hold on. More water escapes her eyes, a sob from her throat.

Suddenly she feels another set of hands atop her own, calloused, worn, and strong. A familiar voice beside her, it belongs to Golodir.

“Easy, Ethedis, easy. You’re doing well. It will be alright.” If he is afraid, his voice will not betray it, and that is all the better for Ethedis. 

With the practiced confidence only an experienced captain could possess, he manages to steady her. She can hold on a little longer, she is not fighting alone, Golodir found them. He says it’s going to be ok, and she believes him.

She keeps it up just long enough, but not a moment more. She cracks open one eye and sees Corunir's bleeding has finally slowed, if not stopped altogether. Some color has returned to his face as well. She thinks it is safe to stop now. She looks over to Golodir and sees worry in his eyes, but no fear. He simply nods at her, she thinks she hears him say something, but she cannot make out the words. She lets go and collapses. She thinks Golodir caught her, but her body is numb with cold and she can’t feel much of anything. He calls out to her, but she lacks the strength to respond and consciousness quickly abandons her. Corunir is alright at least. Golodir found them, everything will be alright.

(Yaaay Golodad to the rescue! there was meant to be another part to this, where Corunir comes to later and actually has the chance to talk to Ethedis, but it wasn't coming together fast enough so I'll probably just add that part *gestures vaguely* "later". I DO like what I had so far, but it was my first time actually properly writing dialog between those two and I wanted to make sure I did a good job, ya can't rush it. you'll see it later.)

#anyway heeey look my first time actually writing about the ranger I'm so obsessed with! #idk why I put it off so long I think I was just worried about doing a bad job #you know when you have a blorbo you care so much about you're afraid to make content about them bc what if it won't be Good Enough #yeah me with Corunir #I still don't even know how to draw him #ty for the ask friend! #I'm doing these horribly out of order I still haven't technically gotten to the first one yet oops #oh well! #love that cameo of Tossdir literally dying in the background hehe (the reason Bregadir was frantically calling for a healer) #also hi Bregadir how do you keep showing up in my fics? #my favorite background character has to be that moss tho #I wants to help!!! it's just moss it can't DO anything but it wants to help!! I love it #lotro #lotro fic #Corunir #Golodir #lotro oc #Ethedis

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Quick! Info dump about your favorite blorbo!

König headcanons

NSFW content below the cut, 18 + only (These apply to yandere König as well, the toxic stuff is marked with a red flag 🚩)

Does like 50 crunches and 50 pushups first thing in the morning when he wakes up, as he has done since he was a teenager.

Will fix everything from cars to furniture. If the door is creaking he will oil the hinges immediately. Actually, he will treat every single thing in life as a problem... A problem he will fix.

He's great at math and physics and has vast amounts of knowledge about mechanics, thermodynamics, even things like quantum theory and other complex astronomy stuff.

He's completely clueless when it comes to following trends and memes. You have to explain every other tiktok to him. He rarely uses emojis but when he does, it's awkward and slightly intimidating because König doesn't know the hidden meanings behind them. If you send him an eggplant or peach emoji he asks if you need veggies from the store.

Loves your cooking (even if it's just microwaved mac and cheese). If you start to feed this man, you'll never get rid of him.

This is your classic mama’s boy who never had to learn how to cook and then went to the army and got used to the facility taking care of him so… yeah. Doesn't know how to cook but will try to help in any way he can! König is very excited to see you’re making food and wanders into the kitchen like “What are we making today?” You can try and give him a chopping board, an onion and a knife, but this poor man doesn't even peel the onion unless you tell him he has to remove the outer layer first...

Eats like a horse. Is secretly afraid that you run out of food. Goes to the fridge and if it's half full, he will not take the snack he was supposed to have, only comments: "The fridge looks empty." (It's not a passive aggressive statement, he's just worried.)

Also: everytime there's a crisis somewhere – he follows the news neurotically – König starts to prep. There's a month's worth of food stashed in one of the cupboards at all times. He also preps fuel, propane, medicine and the like.

Ruins all the fun when you're playing board games because he fusses about the rules so much. König holds the rulebook in his hand through the whole game and double-checks every single thing.

He's very clumsy, sometimes hits his head on the door frame when he's in a hurry or visiting a new place. He can't stay still either, always shakes his leg when he’s sitting. König needs a lot of exercise when he's not deployed to get all that energy and frustration out.

This has been discussed earlier but yeah, König even drops his mags sometimes in the field because he's too excited. He's a very capable martial artist though. Has done Savate, Escrima and Pekiti-Tirsia Kali and is very agile and precise with the double kali sticks he carries to field sometimes. Suddenly his clumsiness disappears when he has to knife someone, kick someone in the head or beat them to death with those sticks.

This is the reason König fucked up his sniper dreams too: having to control his breath, lie still for long amounts of time, then take aim and shoot a rifle vs. aiming during an adrenaline high, giving a tight spurt or two with his SMG… The latter just comes naturally to him! If you ask him how he managed to take down a human trafficking cell all alone König will say he simply "got carried away."

König goes to the gym a lot. Gets back super pumped and with an urgent need to make love. But not before he's had a cold shower! It's almost like a ritual: he has to torture himself with weights and cold water first before he can have his prize (= access to a woman)

Wakes you up in the middle of the night because he started to worry about petty, stupid things and then got a lil horny. Humps your leg or your back very, very slowly while grunting in your ear: "Hey... Hey. Are you sleeping…?" (Like. Yes, König, I was but I'm not anymore, thanks for asking)

Asks what kind of fantasies you have all of a sudden while you two are cuddling. Asks very detailed questions about them too. If you ask him what kind of fantasies he has in return, König will tense up and then say he doesn't really know, perhaps something like… a blowjob in the forest… And somehow you just know that his real fantasies are so perverse you don't even want to know more about them.

If you "nag" or yell at him, he might get a boner.

If you notice and get offended, ask: "Are you even listening to what I'm saying?!' König will freeze and look at you with a bewildered, obsessed stare and go: "Ja..?" while the boner situation in his pants gets visibly worse.

🚩 Would never go to bed before you've settled your argument. The problem is that it's very difficult for König to apologize because he always thinks he's in the right and that you simply need some time to come to that conclusion too. If you give him the silent treatment he will eventually come to you, gets all touchy and asks surprisingly demurely: "Are you still angry with me?"

🚩 The minute you forgive him or decide it was a stupid argument anyways, the demure puppy act disappears. König thinks he won and that it's time for some makeup sex ❤️

Has like the longest cock known to man. He has actual trouble finding comfortable underwear to fit that beast into. It's beautiful but intimidating, uncut, smooth and sleek. Not too thick but certainly not thin either. He likes to keep himself tidy down there too so the lack of hair makes this murder weapon look even bigger.

You two occasionally break furniture while having sex. It's mainly his fault (he gets carried away). He's very upset about it afterwards though, looks at the destruction he caused, muttering "Scheisse…" while rubbing the back of his neck. Then he tries to fix it while you're still there with your legs shaking and in need of aftercare.

If you remind him that he has other duties first, perhaps whimper his name in frustration, König will apologize and carry you to bed. He gives you that precious aftercare with unwavering passion and attention every time you ask for it ❤️ He's just a little clueless sometimes (König is also neuroatypical, either has AD/HD or falls somewhere in the autism spectrum)

🚩 Hates condoms with an intense passion. You're practically forced to take birth control pills or whatever so that he can cum inside you. This man's whining will ultimately gain a level that's absolutely ridiculous if you don't.

The first time you do it without the rubber, he sounds like he's about to cry. He tells you a hundred times how good it feels, and won't pull out until he grows soft and is kind of forced to do so. For a man who's never even heard of a breeding kink, he seems vehement about keeping his load inside you.

🚩Grunts and whispers loving but obsessive things in your ear while making love to you. You're mine, Say it, Promise that you're mine, I don't want to live without you, Why do you feel so good? at first… but as he approaches his peak, König switches to German. You have no clue what he’s saying, but from the way he spits those sentences through gritted teeth you get the feeling that it must be something desperate and that perhaps it's a blessing you don't understand his native tongue...

🚩🚩If you leave your phone on the table he tries to stalk it and check the notifications. He's so jealous it's unreal, if he sees you receive a message from some other guy König will start a circus. He needs to know all about your connection with this man. After that, he wants you to go through your contacts and show him how many guys there are and tell him what your affiliations are with them. If you're on social media König wants to go through your friends/those you follow. You have to give an account who they are and why you follow them.

🚩🚩🚩 You get a feeling he's forming a list of people he has to kill if you don't tell him they're just a cousin or something 💀

#answered #könig headcanons #könig x you #könig mw2 #its not quick but its an infodump

[the-fluff-piece]

Headcanon: introducing them to your big family

They've had their rough childhoods and their single dads. But now they meet your big, loud family! They love him and take him in like their own.

Just imagine the poor blorbos finally being loved and pampered!

Headcanon for Law, Sanji and Zoro

Also check out my other headcanons and stories

Law

He's afraid. So much. He plans to get through it like any social interaction: keeping everyone at arms length and not talking

Your mom will not have it. The boy needs some meat on his bones. If he wants to or not. After initially refusing her various foods, he falls in love with her rice recipes

He's overwhelmed by the sheer number of people he meets at family events. He has to make a list of names

Doesn't let it on, but he absolutely wants them to like him. He reads books about social interaction now

Surprisingly, he gets along well with the little ones of your family, treating them to ice cream and taking care of their little injuries

Sanji

He's very confident that they'll love him - especially the ladies

He looses control of his tears the first time someone tells him "You're family now, boy!" and he feels warm and special, deep inside

He'll find out that your grandma knows the secret recipe to your favourite childhood meal. He'll do anything to prove himself to her so she may share it with him. Will pick apples in her garden, cook applesauce and pickle stuff for her to get it

When you're dad gives him the talk about how he's gonna get in trouble if he hurts you - he is fully on board and demands to be punished if he ever made you cry. Your dad is confused, but content

Cooks and bakes for all family events. He loves Big family events. He knows everyone's name and favorite and he likes the hugging and asking how it's going

Zoro

Super chill about it at first, but gets super stressed once the whole family is asking him about everything he did in life

Soon fears that he didn't achieve enough if he's not the greatest swordsman ever and can never marry you

Ends up being the life of the party once there is booze for everyone, drinking at the bar and having fun

Is absolutely the type to sit with other silent men during events without booze

Likes to tease the younger ones and shows them a few moves

#one piece fanfiction #one piece x you #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar law #vinsmoke sanji #roronoa zoro #one piece headcanons #sanji headcanons #one piece law #one piece trafalgar law #trafalgar law headcanons #law hcs #vinsmoke sanji headcanons #zoro headcanons #one piece roronoa zoro

[high-dragon-bait]

Sorry for being a nuisance 🥰 I know you're probably getting waaaay to much of these (but you're doing such an awesome job with them 😍) and may be tired of fake banter...

but fake banter for Fenris and the Iron Bull, please? 🙏

And/Or

more banter for Fenris and Dorian, please, please, please? 🥺🥺🥺

Hello! I picked Bull and Fenris for this. It's pretty goofy since my last banter was so heavy. Also it requires a disclaimer:

Look. Sometimes. These don't go in the direction I expect. I lose control and have no choice but to write down whatever it is the blorbos want to say. I'm absolving myself of any and all responsibility here. Enjoy

____

Fenris: Is there something you want, Qunari?

Iron Bull: You've got a reputation with the Vints. The things they say about the Blue Wraith... it's good to meet you.

(Third Party Member Dependant)

Dorian: Wait... Bull, are you a fan?

Blackwall: I think the man's in love!

Cole: He likes watching the blood drip to the grass. He feels warm when it matches the beat.

Solas: Tread carefully Iron Bull, our guest’s abilities can be unpredictable.

Cassandra: You are aware this is a friend of the Champion, yes?

Sera: Uh-oh. Watch out glowy-man!

Vivienne: Oh dear, I do believe the Wraith has added another heart to his collection.

Varric: Hate to tell you Tiny, but you've got loads of competition for that one.

Iron Bull: What? Not every day you meet a guy who can rip the beating heart out of a man’s chest with his bare hands. Getting to see it up close is nice.

Fenris: That's... a unique response.

____

Iron Bull: Hey, Fenris?

Fenris: Yes, Qunari?

Iron Bull: Ben-Hassrath. Get it right.

Fenris: No.

Iron Bull: Uh- okay- You looking for work after this gig? Chargers could use a guy like you.

Fenris: You’d like me to join your mercenaries?

Iron Bull: We’d give you steady work. Good coin. Good drinks. The chance to stick your hands wherever you want.

Fenris: Tempting. I’m afraid I have my own uses for my talents.

Iron Bull: Oh yeah, I bet.

Fenris: What?

Iron Bull: What?

____

Iron Bull: What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever ripped out of a guy?

Fenris: What answer are you expecting?

Iron Bull: A second heart? Some crazy blood crystal? Oh! A man eats his twin in the womb, never knows it, and then the last thing he sees is you rip it out of him!

Fenris: I once grabbed a man’s stomach by mistake. It was unpleasant.

Iron Bull: You're not as fun as I thought you’d be.

Fenris: I weep to hear it.

____

Iron Bull: You stand taller every time we pass someone who looks noble.

Fenris: Are you about to accuse me of reflexive respect shown to those in power?

Iron Bull: Oh, I think it's reflexive. I don't think it's respect.

Fenris: What is it then?

Iron Bull: Respect would be standing so they feel important, careful you don't stare too long at the face. You look straight at them. Move your shoulders in a way that makes you look big. You let them know one step too close, and they won't get to make a step back.

Fenris: I see. Teth a, Qunari.

Iron Bull: That's all I do, Wraith.

____

Iron Bull: Hate to say it boss, but all these demons might make you the worst contract we've ever had.

Fenris: I once faced a demon of pure magic and stone, lost in the pits of a forgotten dwarven thaig.

Iron Bull: Wait… really?

Fenris: We had been in the Deep Roads for a week. After being deliberately trapped and left to rot.

Iron Bull: I can’t tell if you’re joking.

Fenris: By the man who hired us.

Iron Bull: Ah, now I believe you. Shitty clients? Nothing’s impossible. 

____

Iron Bull: (Groans)

Fenris: Sore?

Iron Bull: Anyone ever tell you you're heavier than you look?

Fenris: Yes. Stronger too.

Iron Bull: That part's not a problem

Inquisitor: Everything alright, Bull?

Iron Bull: Fine boss. We were just blowing off a little steam. Doing some sparring.

Inquisitor: What kind of sparring put you in this condition?

Iron Bull: My kind.

Fenris: Am I still less fun than you thought?

Iron Bull: Can't tell by just one session, Wraith.

Fenris: Then I'll have to see you tonight, Qunari.

Inquisitor: I... Please don't break anything.

Iron Bull: No promises, boss.

#look this one was JUST for fun #no deep character analysis. i'm just fucking around #dragon age #dai #da2

[burr-ell]

Man, if I had a nickel for everytime a godly/divine group was called colonizers that deserves to die primarily by a niche of people trying to justify the morally questionable/lacking decisions of a fan fave character, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't much, but it's weird it's happened twice right?

That's been playing on a loop in my head ever since all this kicked up. (Especially relevant given the lunatic who's been running around claiming the Nabatean genocide was good and that all white people should die and then pulling Schrödinger's Joke when called out.) Fortunately, Imogen is a genuinely compelling character played by a real human woman rather than a cobbled-together mess written by a group of conservative corporate men who desperately want her to appeal to adolescent boys—but the "I support women's wrongs <3 unless I actually have to deal with their implications in the narrative" fan crowd functions the same for both.

And I know you didn't really ask about my thoughts on Imogen (TLDR: I enjoy her in canon a million times more than in fanon), but I had some:

To be clear, I like Imogen a lot! She's kind-hearted and irritable; caring and withdrawn; moral and cynical; clever and impatient; protective and ruthless. She does everything in her power to keep her friends safe, but she still looks at their murderers and wonders (in front of her friends!) if they have a point. She wants to keep innocents out of harm's way, but she doesn't seem to clock that the people of Gelvaan might be wary of her because she almost killed some of them. She never asked for her powers and is sometimes afraid of herself because of them, but she's also intrigued by what they can do and won't hesitate to use them for what are sometimes, in the scheme of things, rather petty reasons.

All of that is good—not because her unpleasant actions are excusable, but because they say something interesting about her as a person. And in order for unpleasant actions to actually say anything, they have to have actually been unpleasant, rather than handwaved away under mountains of blorbofied excuses.

It's the same with Percy, where in order to engage with him fully as a character I have to actually acknowledge that he's both a deeply flawed and deeply virtuous person who helped resurrect a child he'd never met and knowingly gave a cursed sword to his friend. Or, to bring it back to FE3H for a second, I wrote this meta a few months ago about why I find Claude to be more compelling than Dimitri, and the summary of it is that I actually enjoy the moments where Claude acts like kind of a dick because they're very grounded and it fleshes out his character—but I have to actually acknowledge that Claude was acting like kind of a dick before I can really appreciate that facet of him.

Plenty of criticism aimed at Imogen is just thinly-veiled misogyny, but some of it is also criticism that's been leveled at Percy, Vax, Caleb, and Fjord, so that's clearly not the only reason behind it. A fair bit of the complaints we're hearing (Main Character Syndrome, why is it all about them, [player] is hogging the spotlight, etc) are, at the end of the day, usually more rooted in "well why isn't it about my blorbo/escapism experience!". Ultimately though, the difference between the good- and bad-faith criticism is that every single person I've seen actually engaging with realistic implications of Imogen's flaws absolutely loves her and isn't at all shy about saying so.

I mean, y'know, people can engage with fandom however they want—but if you're only willing to grapple with negative emotions as far as "oh i made myself sad :(", you're going to have a very difficult time when someone else's choices make you a lot more than sad.

#critical role #cr meta #cr discourse #fe3h discourse

[cousticks]

hi bestie, I'm going to need your thoughts about BEAST. it doesn't matter how long. 🙏I find that LN very interesting plus my blorbo Odasaku is there TT

if you're up to the challenge of sharing most, if not all your unhinged thoughts about BEAST, I would greatly appreciate it.

If not, that's okay too. No pressure fr ❤️

This ask makes me stare at my computer screen in horror for the can of worms you've opened, my friend. I'm better now, but there was a point in time a couple years ago I carried my physical copy of the Beast LN with me everywhere in my school bag & called it my Bible. Needless to say its quite important to me. I wasn't sure how to approach this at first, but as I've been going I kind of ended up breaking it down by character. I will also say that I've read the LN and seen the movie, but I haven't read the entire manga yet, so if there's anything manga specific you were hoping I'd mention that I don't I apologize! This is comically long I am so sorry.

I will admit I kind of suck because, though Beast is primarily about the interactions between Atsushi and Akutagawa, I don't have much to say about either of them. But Beast is so so so refreshing to me to see some of the characters that I thought deserved better in canon receiving their time in the light. The interactions between Aku and Oda are everything to me, especially when Akutagawa has to babysit the kids, and through it he has to learn when to be gentle and when to be harsh. Its so so so important because you get to see that he can do both. The same Akutagawa who's first appearance in the main timeline is blowing up a police station without any care for civilian casualties is capable of gently playing with children, WITH his ability. It opens up a depth to his character that, at least at the time of Beast's official English translation coming out (I had it on Preorder lol), we didn't really get to see in the main timeline. It told me that there was so much more to see from him, more that Asagiri wanted to say about him, and not only made me really attached to his Beast version but made me enthusiastic to see what was to come from the main timeline for him.

Its kind of similar with Atsushi in Beast, if the opposite way. I was always a little disappointed with the anime's adaption of Atsushi, as he always felt a bit watered down to be a one-size-fits-all protagonist, when he has more character and snark in the manga that makes him so much more interesting. I don't love it for him because yanno that shit traumatizing, but I do for me enjoy having seen what happens when you put him in the mafia instead. Do you ever think about how he would have been like, 12, when he was recruited into the mafia? That's like 6 years earlier than in canon. This is assuming that Beast Dazai goes and picks him up at the same point in time that he acquires Akutawaga in the main timeline. (Aku was acquired when he was 14). So by the time of Beast's main plot, that gives Atsushi 6 years in the mafia to become the White Reaper, and what a name that is. To be associated with the death he's so afraid of. Ohh, he's interesting. I wish I had more to say about him. Honestly, beast aku and atsu are more my boyfriend @pmreaper's wheelhouse, and I highly recommend taking a look at his thoughts. Between the Orphanage and the Mafia, Beast Atsushi hasn't really seen much honest kindness, aside from Kyoka. And christ, the collar. I'll talk more about the collar later, but that does something to me. He goes from the orphanage causing him pain and problems about being the tiger when he doesn't even know, to a much more restrictive controlling pain when he does know. He's taught that being what he is just leads to being in pain and he has no control over it and it makes me miserable for him. Despite spending so much time fighting on the Mafia's behalf, on Dazai's behalf, this boy has no idea how to fight for himself.

I think that's a major difference between beast Atsu and Aku honestly. Akutagawa will fight for himself. He'll fight his way out of a bad situation. Beast Atsushi won't. That self pity of feeling he deserves it. Christ. Them. Their soft moments interacting together before everything goes to shit in Beast are everything to me. They're just kids from bad situations they understand each other. Their interactions in Beast stab me through the heart.

I don't have much to say about Gin but I want to mention her anyway. Mostly because I think she's the most mentally stable of the mafia members close to Dazai in Beast that we see (Chuuya, Atsu, Kyoka, Gin). She'd have a Keurig on her desk and make the best coffee on the floor. She's such a stark difference from her main timeline counterpart, too. Gin the mafia assassin and Gin the mafia secretary are so different, visually. But... this is a Gin that isn't fighting to survive in the same way. I think so much about how she was taken so that Dazai had some kind of control over Akutagawa without having him in the mafia. I think about how she decided Akutagawa wasn't ready to have her in his life again. About how she was ready to be killed for the Mafia. We barely see any of Gin in the main timeline, but we see so much of her here. Her loyalty to the mafia, her own feelings of betrayal, there's so much to her that we just haven't seen from the main timeline at all. I adore her. I want to see more of her. I like to think that after the events of Beast played out she stole a mafia helicopter and she and Kyoka flew off to Cancun on a girls trip to recover from All That Shit.

I generally ignore the Beast version of Chuuya the way he's presented in canon if I'm honest. And I quite actively ignore whatever the movie ending with the chains is because the fuck is that. Chuuya's presence in Beast canon is something that i acknowledge and then throw away. I have a very specific mental timeline of how Beast progresses in my head as far as where it diverges from the main timeline. In my heart, Atsushi is dragged into the mafia shortly before Dragon's Head Rush, possibly when the conflict is originally starting up in Yokohama, or some time during it. Somewhere in the 88 days before the final face-off against Shibusawa. (I have a lot of opinions on the nitty-gritty details of that timeline both in Beast and Main timeline but that's a not-right-now problem.) This is the event that, in the main timeline, Dazai ascends to executive. I believe that in the Beast timeline, during the DHR conflict is where he stages his coup to become the PM's boss. Which is... kind of a wild thing to do at 16, I guess, but this is a Dazai that has memories of the main timeline as well as of this world, so is he really mentally 16 at that point with the combined life experience? Anyway. Why do I mention this timeline when I'm talking about Chuuya? Because Dazai needed help staging that coup. Chuuya's help. He was well liked in the mafia even then (we can see Chuuya's own reputation was pretty damn good at this point as its not long after Stormbringer). I believe they had a more amicable relationship in the Beast timeline than in main timeline, and that this was calculated to make Chuuya's loyalty lie more with Dazai than the mafia at large so that the coup would work. But after Dazai is boss? Nothing. Cold and all-business once Dazai is in place to start playing with the entire city like his own personal barbie dolls to get everything in place to allow Oda to write his book. Whatever. Which leads to Chuuya's loyalty-hatred complex a bit but I have... a lot of opinions on that entire interaction between them that I don't really know how to articulate. But it fucking sucks.

As far as within the Mafia hierarchy, I think that very few people ever report to Dazai himself. Only Gin, Atsu, Chuuya, and maybe someone really trustworthy like Hirotsu. Chuuya is the boss's right hand in this, he's the second in command, above what a normal executive position would be. Dazai is busy making plans on his insanity corkboard trying to ensure this world stays perfect for Oda. He's busy scheming on what to do to make the mafia more powerful to ensure its reach can accomplish what he needs it to. He's busy doing all the meta-number-crunching to minmax his power so he can treat the world like a plaything. I think he leaves a lot of the normal day-to-day running the mafia to Chuuya, who acts more like the boss in the level of Mori in the main timeline, since the Mafia itself in Beast is like 3x the power it was in canon. Someone has to be keeping an eye on the city itself. I think the executives more of report to him than they would Dazai. It just becomes this really weird hierarchy of designated people leading what they need to so Dazai can focus on what he wants. Obviously none of this is supported in Beast canon at all its just what I believe in my whole heart. I also think that there may have been a point in time they tested something similar to the collar Atsushi is given with Chuuya to see if there was a way to shut down Corruption without Dazai needing to be involved. It failed and Chuuya was hospitalized for a week after and 100% made it Dazai's problem. Which, tangentially, do you ever think about the Beast aftermath? How if something comes up where Beast Chuuya has to use Corruption, there's no longer a way to stop it? Because I sure do.

This brings me down to more thoughts about Beast Dazai himself, who is such a wild character to me. He's everything normal timeline Dazai doesn't want to be. Oda wouldn't want this. Oda wouldn't want a world where so many people are miserable that don't have to be just for his sake. Its depressing, but main timeline Odasaku had chosen his time to die and was quite ready to do so. And main timeline Dazai? He just had to accept that. And grow beyond it. And learn how to create connections with others. But Beast Dazai? He swings the opposite. He doesn't try to recover, he's obsessive, he tears everyone else down into his misery with him to try to create a world that Oda can survive and write his novels in without ever thinking about the fact that Oda would never want that, would never ask for that, but he's on such a pedestal in Dazai's mind that its never considered. Its selfish. He thinks he's doing something for someone else but its so, so very selfish and frankly ridiculous. He chose to never really make any connections with anyone else. Oda of that universe doesn't even know who he is, other than the boss of the mafia that ruins people's lives. There's no connection. Beast Dazai is so untethered and doesn't see anything in that world as anything more than means to an end and I'm so, so obsessed with him. He's tragic. He's trying so hard to do something correctly and doesn't even understand what he's doing wrong because he's so caught up in saving the one person he's so fixated on. He's crafted an empire out of the mafia and couldn't care less about it. He's put himself into the shoes of a god and sacrificed every mortal comfort because of it. I have so much I could say about him but my brain is going to short circuit if I think about him for much longer. I'll probably talk more about him again when I finally reread Beast. I hate him more than I can explain. He's the most interesting man alive. He's no man at all. I'm in hell

Odasaku. Oda. He's still alive. He has even more orphans. Akutagawa is one of his orphans. He thinks he's the most normal guy but he's so, so weird. He trusts Akutagawa with his kids. He'll fight Akutagwa in the middle of the Agency as a training exercise. He probably has the most bland coffee order you can imagine. Anyone know that textpost about the guy that got the black coffee with the blueberry flavoring? The ordinary man with something deeply wrong with him? That's beast Oda. He wants to be a writer, he succeeds, he has a mafia boss obsessed with him and doesn't even know until said dude goes off and dies. I have NO idea what the fuck he was doing in the movie. I generally ignore the movie honestly. He's just some guy. This world was made for him and all he wants is to be ordinary. This world was made for him and he chooses to be mundane. This is a man that knows mortality well. That knows the best parts of life are the small ones. He wants to help people and he succeeds. He sees other people who had a past of violence, like he did growing as an assassin, and he helps them get out of it, he prevents it from happening, he offers care in a way those unused to receiving it can accept. He isn't perfect. He's just a guy. It makes him perfect. I want to kick a wall.

The agency in Beast and how they all rally together is so interesting as well. We don't really get to see them all in action together that often honestly and its a delight. I wish I had more to say about all of them. They're such a cohesive unit of strays and I love them.

I certainly have so much more I could say about Beast but this is already like, the length of an average one-shot fanfiction on AO3 just of my incoherent rambling. If there's anything you want me to talk more on please send another ask because this was a fucking blast to dig up a lot of my old thoughts. I have several unedited one-shot beast fics tucked into storage that maybe one day I'll share because they're all based off of my headcanons and personal beliefs on the timeline.

My boyfriend and I also have an ongoing project called Beastswap where we explore what happens to the characters if they start randomly popping between the two timelines in the post-Beast fallout after everything has settled a little and once I get my writing spark back there will definitely be some of that floating around as well.

#im so sorry this is so long and incomprehensible but gathering thoughts on beast is Difficult #i have so many of them #asks? answered. hotel? trivago. #beast. #beast ensemble #bungo stray timeline #(kind of) #🏢 #< beastswap tag

[narrativelysignificantturtleduck]

the challenges of trans headcanons

a while ago i saw a post that said something to the effect of "if you're cis don't headcanon characters as trans if they're not that gender in canon". the argument was that it implies trans people are not the gender they say they are - like, if you headcanon a male character as a trans woman, that means you think of trans women as men who want to be women. headcanoning a male character as a trans man is fine though.

i kinda resent any post telling people what they're allowed to headcanon, but i do get where that post was coming from. not just because i know cis people can be transphobic, but because i have perservered in doing that very thing and found out how complicated it is.

like, first off, there's the pronoun dilemma. everyone in canon and pretty much everyone discussing the show is using the "wrong" pronouns, but also, it's a headcanon, so it's not like they're ACTUALLY wrong. and even though you want to use the "right" pronouns you don't want to confuse people if you're talking about the character outside of the specific headcanon. and what if you write fic about the character at a point before they come out, before they even realize themselves? everyone around them is using those pronouns, and they'll even be thinking of themself that way. is that misgendering? obviously, the character won't care (bc they're not real) but people might look at you funny if you say a character's trans and then use the "wrong" pronouns. you've dug your own grave here.

(i've taken a few different approaches. i tried avoiding pronouns entirely, but it was a challenge. no pronouns and trying not to repeat an already-repetitive name too much? blorbo posting hard mode. recently, i've flipped to using he/him when talking about the character in canon and she/her when discussing the trans headcanon or more fanon things. i think it makes sense to use canon pronouns when analyzing canon but i do worry it looks like misgendering. not sure there's any good answers here.)

secondly, it forces you to reckon with being trans in a very real way. you have to adjust to new pronouns and gender presentation the way the family members of a trans person would, and like a trans person you have to make decisions about those changes. you are forced to grapple with what the coming out process would be like, what steps someone would take to transition. sure, you can discuss those things when headcanoning a male character as transmasc, but you know where he ends up. he's the guy you know in canon. headcanoning someone as a different gender than they are in canon - that's uncharted territory, same as it would be irl.

heck, the very fact that this is difficult, that i don't know what pronouns to use in what situation, feels pretty trans to me.

(not that my struggle headcanoning a minor character from a kids show as trans is anywhere near comparable to people's actual lived experiences. but you get what i mean.)

you know how when you write a character for a while they start to take on a life of their own in your head, and any characterization choices start to feel like things they tell you about themselves instead of just what you decided about them? well i've known about the trans jeong jeong headcanon for a while but that post kinda made me...shove her back into the closet. metaphorically. i was pushing nonbinary jeong jeong for a while, because she was very clearly not cis to me but i feared being Bad and Problematic if i said she was transfem. i could even get away with some transfem stuff under the guise of genderfluidity. some days she's a woman. but also sometimes a man don't worry :)

but now she's out. and i don't know who i was so afraid of offending, and why i've had this weirdly personal journey about it. it's a journey similar to my own coming out as bisexual (going back in the closet for fear of pushback) and i had it over a fictional character's gender, about "coming out" with a headcanon.

i don't really know what conclusion to draw from all of this. i don't know what the right answer to the pronouns question is.

things i know for certain -

jeong jeong is a trans woman. it's a headcanon, but the way i feel about it is as if it's a fact i happen to know. you know how it is with blorbos

i am a cis woman, and that means i need to be careful how i deal with trans characters and headcanons. fictional characters might not care, but real life trans people can see the ways i talk about fictional trans people, so it matters what i do.

it's ridiculous that i denied this headcanon for so long

maybe the conclusion is just that hard-and-fast rules about who's allowed to do things are bad. but it's still worth thinking about the implications of a headcanon and its impact on others.

#nina's personal log #i've been thinking about this for a while #i started writing this post all the way back in january while i was queuing up stuff for jeong jeong's atla daily holiday #idk why but i feel like posting it now #trans jj tag

[bebx]

Sorry to bother you with this ask. I hope it's not inappropriate (you don't have to answer this if it makes you uncomfortable.)

To put things shortly: I like whump (and, among other things, you're a great wump writer and a nice person, which is why i turned to your ask box). I love hurt/comfort fics where the blorbos i ship go through hell and back only to fall (back) in each other's arms (and, yeah, I love a happy ending).

I've always thought that the *feels* I get come from me worrying about them, from how moved by their resilience I am and, of course, by how worried/protective/feral their partner gets (+ the comfort and reassurance that comes after). I saw it as a "normal" reader (or writer) experience to have such stories move your guts.

Only, recently, I've seen people talk about what they call their "whump awakening" aka the first time they felt "whumpflies", usually between the age 4 and 10. And I realised it happened to me as well.

I can't help to see in those "whumpflies" some kind of s3xual thing (or is it not? and is it something everyone experience to different levels?) and came to see myself as some kind of p3rv' who's been revelling in the suffering of other since a young age. Like what I thought came from my crying at how much they love each other/at how brave they are was just me craving for crude pain. What I thought was some normal reader experience (feel for the characters) was just me mind m4sturbating? I thought I cared and liked my ships and characters which made me feel the feels but was it all a smokescreen?

I do know I have a kink for loss of consciousness (as a fantasy only!!) but, although it may seem hypocritical since when i indulge in it, the scenarii leading to it are mostly whump, I always saw it as something different, definitely separated from my love for whump/hurt comfort (more like something to do with holding/releasing pressure, witnessing and allowing vulnerability).

I also realise that being on the ace spectrum this could be it: my entire s3xuality could only be watching people hurt???

I feel like i must precise that I do not wish to hurt anyone irl. (by the way, I don't especially feel like I want to hurt characters either, more like...put them in situations and be with them if it makes sense...but maybe it's all the same). And yes, I know it's perfectly ok to be into sm but I never really felt it was it?

Now I feel like my entire reality has been shattered. I have projects, fics in the makings, fics i'd like to read, but I'm afraid i'll never manage to do it again. I'm afraid all my assumptions are right and self disgust is all i'll ever be able to feel. I do not know if what I'm having is an panic attack for it's been more than a week now that i've been feeling like that and panic attacks are not supposed to be that long. I wanna scream, cry, stop thinking but i can't. All I manage to do is hold on to a pillow and keep breathing though not in a calm way. I can't sleep at night and i hardly manage to do it during the day.

I tried watching tv but keep thinkings of AU's ideas for fics I'm afraid i'll never be able to write again. Itried drawing but there's always a time i want to throw away the pen. I'm not working this week but i wouldn't manage to anyway. All I do is worry, scream internally, sob pathetically or eat - occasionally but probably too much at a time. I don't read my mails, only repeatedly reload me tumblr wall to see people post about ships and fandoms i crave to come back to but feel like i've lost (even a funny or innocently fluffy fanart doesn't seem to make my heart jump at this point) and it's tearing me down inside as it's such an important part of my life - of me!!

I am already taking pills to help with unrelated anxiety disorder so i can't just keep taking more! I live with my parents so I am not alone but how could i speak to them about it? I'd have to explain I write/read fic and make them understand how much it means to me. Then the part about s3x and my fears ...it's really difficult. I also have an appointment with my therapist next week so i probably should have waited instead of annoying you (which i am once again very sorry about) but this week has already been hell so the thought of waiting for another week was just too much. I am just so tired of being stressed and of hating me and of seeing no future

I just want things to go back to how they where but i can't seem to reconcile all those thoughts spiralling in my brain. I am lost and afraid. Imagining fics/plots has always been not only a joy and a passion but also a way to calm myself down and right now i can't do it and the thought of never being able to do it again is just killing me I...I'm sorry, i just wrote this all mess to you and wondering if with your knowledge and a calmer mind you could have any answer? advice? Experiences to share? i just had to write it down and reach out to someone for i felt like i might have exploded and I'm desperate enough to be annoying...

So thank you if you read it to this point and double thank you if you choose to answer, even if it's just to say you don't really know what to say!

Still wishing you a good day!!

hi, anon! so sorry you experience these feelings. firstly, I just wanted to let you know that you are not annoying me at all and that I deeply appreciate you thinking I’m a great writer who you trust enough to turn to with what’s been bothering you. secondly, your feelings — how you feel — are completely valid. I myself had my first “whump awakening” when I was at a very young age. I think it was when I was about 7 years old? I’m not entirely sure, but I was very young, and back then I didn’t know what it was called, only that I got these sense of euphoria whenever I imagined a scenario in which a character I liked, at that time, went through extreme physical pain, sustained severe injuries. I never told anyone about this, because I didn’t think they would understand. it wasn’t like I thought there was something “wrong” with me, but I did know that I was different than most of the kids my age, because most of them would react differently to the concept of, you know, pain and injuries (I didn’t know about the concept of whump back then.)

that being said, knowing what I know now, I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with liking whump. I’m actually glad to know that there’s a whole community (precisely on tumblr) here where people who are into whump can talk about their experiences, their enjoyment, their whump awakening or even their own creations whether it be in terms of writing and/or drawing, etc. and I’m happy to know there are actually so many people who are also into whump.

now you mentioned you were recently convinced that whump is a sexual thing. I mean, to be honest, whump can be a sexual thing for some people (keywords; for some people, not everyone who enjoys whump sees whump as anything sexual-related at all) within the community. I mean, since there are so many people in this community, of course, some may be enjoying whump for sexual purpose, and that is not a bad thing either (as long as no one in real life is hurt or harmed in any way, of course).

from how I see it, it’s mostly people who aren’t in the whump community — aka people who don’t understand the concept of whump and think we are “red flags” for liking pain and suffering that are strictly fantasy / fictional — who tend to say “people who are enjoying whump are enjoying it because they’re perverts” which is not. true. at. all.

(sure, whump can be a sexual thing — a kink — for some people within the community. because whump is a fantasy, and there is no “wrong” way for one to enjoy the fantasy they creat in their minds and sometimes bring to life in the forms of writing and/or drawing. again, as long as no one in real life is hurt or harmed. so even if you — general you — enjoy whump because it’s your kink, it still doesn’t make you a pervert.)

I mean people can enjoy whump for entirely different reasons. some enjoy whump because for them whump is their kink. some use whump as a way to cope and recover from their trauma (whether or not it’s sexual). some just enjoy whump because they just like whump in a way that’s not sexual-related at all. for what it’s worth, I’ve actually seen a lot of people in the whump community who are asexual.

so what I’m saying is, different people enjoy whump for different reasons, and they all are valid.

if you’re asexual and you enjoy whump = you are completely valid.

if you (general you) enjoy whump because it’s a kink to you = you are completely valid.

if you enjoy whump because it’s your way of coping with your trauma = you are completely valid.

if you enjoy whump because you like it when your blorbos find their way back in earth other’s arms or when they’re taken care of after the pain they were put through (aka the comfort that comes after) = you are completely valid.

or if you enjoy whump where it’s “hurt no comfort” because you just like it when your blorbo goes through hell = you are completely valid.

as long as you’re not hurting anyone in real life, your reasoning in regards of your enjoyment of whump is valid. you are valid.

being in a fandom should always be about the joy and the fun of being in a fandom, because fandom is supposed to be your getaway from reality where you can just enjoy whatever you enjoy. it should always be your safe place. though I do understand that, while in a fandom, you’ll most likely come across things you’re not comfortable with or things that upset you. my best advice is to ignore these things (block and mute as freely as you like) and only focus your time and energy on things that bring you joy.

don’t let other people’s opinions take that joy away from you.

if there’re fics you want to read, read them and enjoy them unapologetically. and if at any point you feel like they’re not for you, you can simply close the tabs and move on to other fics you feel like checking out.

if you have ideas for fics about your blorbos you want to write, write them unapologetically. if you want to draw some whump art about your blorbo, draw them unapologetically. there will always be people who enjoy the same thing you do (maybe even for the same reason) who will appreciate your talent. or even if you don’t feel like posting/publishing them on the internet — for any reason at all — and just want to keep them only to yourself, that is entirely okay too.

because the most important thing is, when you write a fic or draw a fanart (or even when you read something), it should be for you. not anyone else.

how you enjoy a fandom, how you enjoy whump, should be about you and only you.

you don’t have to speak to anyone about it if you’re not ready or if you don’t feel comfortable talking to them about it. at the end of the day, you don’t owe them anything. because whump is not something you have to explain to your friends or family, it’s your personal getaway and you don’t have to explain anything to anyone if you don’t want to.

though I recall you mentioned that you were seeing your therapist next week. if you feel comfortable talking to them about it, I think it might help make you feel better. because your therapist would most likely have a better answer for you.

last but not least, I wanted to remind you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. your mind is lying to you about all these unpleasant thoughts you have about yourself. I know how hard that can be, how real and convincing these thoughts can sound. because I’d been there. but the bottom line is that no matter how terrible these feelings get, they are lying to you. and there is absolutely nothing wrong or abnormal about your enjoyment of whump, of your blorbos. you are definitely not a “pervert” for being in a fandom or for enjoying whump, no matter what other people might say. because how can one be a pervert for finding their safe place in fictional things that don’t hurt anybody in real life at all?

I’m not sure if this is the answer you were looking for, but I hope it helped at least a little. and I hope you can get back to fully enjoying what you enjoyed soon. but most importantly, I hope you feel better soon. a little reminder that your mental health is the priority here. I’m sending my love your way, always. ♡

#my inbox is open #whump #whumpblr #whump community #blorbo #fandom #fandoms #writing #writer #writeblr #angst #hurt/comfort #writers #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 #archive of our own #writing community

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

Thanks for ur posts about Izzy, I'm as white as my wall, but also gay and genderqueer as fuck, so logging onto ao3 and seeing how commonplace charitable interpretations of Izzy are gives me psychic damage. Like, I often stan villains, but normally I have to find myself a little niche of other people who are as crazy as I am to do that. (I'm a Badminton fan btw, hope they kill another one off in Season 2)

I'll tell you a secret, I'm also white. I don't really consider it a wall. It does make me a little dumber I guess because I don't experience racism that's directed at me. But like I've had multiple black and brown people that are important to me in my life ever since I was little, so I guess if I'm out with my little sister(who's Chinese) and I see racism directed at her I'm going to pick up on that too and have to navigate that situation. White people are racial beings and we live in a racialized society it's just that we have the privilege of pretending that's not the case if we want to. You should always be listening to people who do experience racism about racism because they have had to be the recipient of it but that doesn't mean that racism is an unknowable mystery of the universe to you. It's something your friends and neighbors and coworkers have to navigate daily. The goal of listening to marginalized people is to better support them and one of the ways we do that is calling out other white people when they fuck up. They're not gonna listen to us for the most part, one thing I've learned being publicly vocally in support of people of color both in my real life and online is that there's no fuckin solidarity in the in group, but they are more likely to listen to you than they are to listen to poc (especially white queer people if you are yourself queer because there is actually some solidarity there as well as a leverage point). The more we as white people who care about PoC are afraid to talk about race issues the more PoC have to go it alone. I remember was in 8th grade when Michael Brown was killed, and I live in a predominantly white area, and for some fucking reason my social studies teacher decided to bring up what was happening in a class of roughly 30 white kids, one Asian girl, and one black girl and I stood up for him when the entire class was doing the whole "if he didn't want to get shot he shouldn't have been doing x y z" thing. And I remember that my black classmate didn't speak up until I had been defending him for like half the period and was getting visibly frustrated, and I kind of don't think that she would have said anything if no one had been on her side, because why would you take that risk. I was insulated partially because of my whiteness and partially because I was already being bullied so if I made a stink about something in class it couldn't get much worse for my gay goth autistic ass. The point of that anecdote is that if you rely on people of color around you to do the work of antiracism not only does that make things harder for them, but it also leaves the door open that that work won't get done because the person of color that you're afraid of speaking over will probably decide to prioritize their own safety. That's not to say you should speak over anyone either, but 90% of being an adult is figuring out how to navigate complex social situations and this is one of those.

Now of course I know that defending Michael Brown from racists is more serious than defending Ed Ourflagmeansdeath from racists because Michael Brown was a real person who died tragically and Ed is just my blorbo. But either way I'm in a proverbial room full of my chud peers and I've never been the kind of person to not say what I think, and in both situations I am kinda insulated from consequences. There's a reason @chuplayswithfire has had to turn off her anons and I haven't. Part of it might be follower count but I'm not enough of an idiot to think that's all it is.

I guess I kinda got off subject but you're on my blog, so cheers.

But yeah, as a certified villain fucker I would love it if the loudest and most prolific members of our community would just cool it on the racism(/misogyny if we leave the ofmd fandom). I don't even have that much of a problem with apologia in theory. In practice I've even dabbled in apologia myself for my man CJ. But villain fans have kinda always been like this. There's been us baddies who enjoy fucked up guys(gender neutral) and then there's the Snape wives and the Kylo Ren stans and the Jokercels who can't care about fans of color or women to save their life.

Also re: Badminton I too am a great fan of watching Rory Kinnear in period costumes die in stupid ways. As an actor I've thought Badminton would be an incredibly fun role to play since episode 2. Standing on a rock in the background and just fucking around while things happen in the foreground would be the time ever tbh.

#cw racism #ofmd #our flag means death

[greypetrel]

Elfroot and Prophet's Laurel. Still a wip!

Playing around with more Lavellan designs, and considering whether to just pop Radha in the fic because I quite like her.

A doodle of the GANG, and more background rambling under the cut!

Aisling was adopted by the Lavellan at 6. The First, Pavyn, was 14 at the time, and when it was clear that his sister Radha, 9 by then, was showing no magical talent, Keeper Deshanna decided to take another little blorbo in.

The three grew up together, with Pavyn showing off to little "Shrimp" and acting like the good elder brother who always know better and is such a cool, talented person (he was talented, but believed talent is enough and would rather enjoy life and youth and spend time with people rather than staying in and studying, Deshanna had to run after him and force him to exercise). Radha, on the contrary, was very introverted and reserved: she never cared much for magic and never regretted not having developed magic. She always was the quiet, reserved person who prefer to stay in the sidelines, observe and gather informations to use later more than being in the front and leading. She's not so trusting and will question and suspect your intentions until she's certain you're trustworthy… Once she does, tho, you're friends for life, and she'll be very protective. She tagged along with her brother and treated Aisling like the third sibling, and loved to learn and read for the sake of it.

The dynamic between the three changed when Aisling, after years of studying hard and exercising a lot (putting into her studies all the frustration of a teen with a desperate crush over a clan member that EVERYONE knows about, crush included) got her Vallaslin and was named First right after, snatching the place from Pavyn who was still slacking up and yes, was more popular in the clan but not so capable and in control as a mage. It was the shock Pavyn needed to start taking things seriously, and in the following years he caught up… Or would have if Aisling wasn't constantly studying and practicing on her own, because if Science Bros were not formed yet, she did the same on her own. Radha was in the middle, not really taking a side and exposing harsh truth to each of them. She still speaks little, but when she does every word is carefully weighted and meant, and she's not afraid to speak her mind. Not the best hunter around, but she was a valuable presence when trading with humans, firm and unshakeable and capable of diplomacy without letting others put her in a corner. A thing that Aisling always looked up to.

When in Haven Aisling replied to the "Contact clan Lavellan" mission with something extremely dry and caustic, and the Keeper read it as weird and suspicious coming from miss "I can't mask my emotions if you pay me for it and I will cry when I need to thank you very much", Radha was sent south to investigate and, eventually, get Aisling back north if she was indeed held there against her will and closed in some sort of Circle.

She stayed in the Inquisition, acting first as basically the guard dog to her little sister and having all the Inner Circle spend a nasty ten minutes when she had to make sure no one was there to exploit her, and then became a respected member of the organisation, when she decided to stay there.

#dragon age inquisition #da fanart #lavellan #inquisitor lavellan #dragon age #character design #art nouveau #elves #fantasy art #elfroot #da: i #da: i fanart #bioware #doodle #sketchbook #WIP

[lurker-extraordinaire-657645]

hiiii people asked for this so i'm here to ramble about my blorbo (spoilers for like the entirety of pokemon rejuvenation. this also won't make sense if you haven't played it so. you have been warned)

so. kanon. the motherfucker (affectionate) himself. there is so much wrong with him.

what is it like, to know you're not only fundamentally different than everyone around you, but to believe that you are lesser, as well?

what is it like, to think that your only worth is based on those that have power over you?

what is it like, to hold on to an unhealthy mindset because it's the only thing that kept you stable, all that time ago? (even if you've forgotten by now, which you of course have. it only hurts to remember.)

what is it like, to be treated with a kindness you don't understand? a kindness you don't think you deserve?

what is it like, to remember? what is it like, to be shoved into the past, left shocked and so, so afraid.

..what is it like, when they meet your eyes? what is it like, when they've seen what's happened- what you are- and tell you they are going to- that they want to- care about you, as a person, not an object? what is it like, when you finally realize you're allowed to be someone, not just something?

what is it like, to learn, finally, how to live?

#hey look bitches (/aff) i did it #pokemon rejuvenation #this is worthy of being maintagged i think #this actually ended up kind of fluffy #but anyways HIM <3333

[nebulouscoffee]

🛒✨💖❌🤗

All great questions, thank you!

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

I've noticed a lot of my fics play around with time/perception/reality, whether it's interconnecting flashbacks with the present or having nonlinear and/or unreal shenanigans going on. I think this is because I mostly write ds9 fic, and one of the main fascinations I have with that show is how almost every main character has a somewhat distorted or extraordinary perception of reality!

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

Aww thank you <3 uhhhh well more than one person has commented that I'm good at capturing character voices and sometimes I read my writing and think "hey they're right actually" :)

💖 What made you start writing?

The childhood urge to Make People Up and then Put Them In Situations! Fanfic specifically, it went like: pandemic -> ds9 rewatch -> unexpected obsession with the doctor lizard ship I somehow never cared about before -> getting into fanfic for the first time (I'd only occasionally read gen fics before, or b/7 lol) -> wanting to process complicated feelings I was sitting with & feeling inspired by some incredibly good fics I'd read -> voila we got 'Home'

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

Haha I've learnt to never say never, I mean if you'd asked my early 2021 self if I'd ever attempt writing romance or ship fic you'd've gotten a resounding "lmao no???" and we all know how that went

... I guess, demonising and/or killing off a character just to get OTP together? (Not a "trope" but definitely a trope y'know😂)

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

KILL 👏 THE 👏 CRINGE!! 👏 (or embrace it, whatever works :D)

Never forget you're doing this for fun! And for FREE! You don't owe anybody anything! Not so much writing advice as outlook-towards-your-writing advice, but (as long as your fics aren't like. racist or otherwise harmful lol) be proud of yourself and all your babies!

As time passes, you will inevitably come to look at your first works differently. This is where you must be vigilant against the cringe😂

Instead of "my older work is bad", think "I hadn't written much fanfic yet so I wasn't as good as I am now, and it's so cool that there's actually visible improvement"

Instead of "this fic is sooo out of character I hate it now", think "I wrote this back when I read the characters differently"

Instead of "I can't post this thing until it's perfect", think "I've gotten so used to improvement my standards are just unattainably high now, but the people reading liked what I wrote back then because something about it was good, and they'll probably like this too"

Instead of "I hate that my cringey old fics are still being read by people", think "This thing I created out of love and shared to connect with fellow fans brought them joy, and is still bringing people joy even after I've moved on, which is really cool of me actually"

Always remember your target audience is fellow obsessives with brainrot, NOT snarky people on the internet who don't care about the stories you're telling (esp if they don't even write fic! They'd never understand how hard it is to put your work out there.) Like 90% of the time when something's called "cringe", it's really just... sincere? Well, fanfic is literally a medium where people care about a show so much they voluntarily write tens of thousands of words for zero profit. It doesn't have to be good; there's published literature for that. People come to fanfic for the passion!

Don't write your blorbo with the main goal being distancing yourself from the basic girlies who like them wrong. Don't water down your favourite dynamics to cater to the people who "don't get" your ship. Fully unhinged fan content made out of love and Too Many Emotions will ALWAYS be better than painfully self-conscious works that are too afraid to be sincere imo (I don't read much smut but I'm sure this applies here too- just commit to it fully and people will find it hot! Nothing kills the vibe like being able to tell the fic writer was embarrassed they were writing this lol.)

Doesn't matter if you're writing for a rare pair that most people just go ??? at, or a popular character/pairing that's slowly starting to get hate because it's everywhere- don't be afraid to be sincere. Be fully and unapologetically insane about your obsessions and never ever get baited into being cynical about your work. Be true to yourself and have fun with your weirdo friends, and your fics will reflect that <3

#sorry I kind of went off on a ramble there and wrote a whole essay that no one asked for hahaha #but you know what!! I meant every word!! it was SINCERE #also thanks so much for the ask fancy! one of my fav things about your work is how unironically you lean into the feels :D #my fics

[lucithornz]

Fic Masterpost

Hey everyone! Here is my fic masterpost. Below you can find all of my completed and ongoing works. Additional links and posts about me, my writing and projects also linked at the bottom.

I try to keep this as up to date as possible with current chapter count progress etc.

Thank you for reading, and comments on my fics seriously make my day! I don't bite :]

My AO3

Meet the author post

Keep reading below for a Detailed List of my Fics, Updates, Boundaries, Collabs, and Beta Reading ↓

My Fics

Formula 1 Fics: Just One Question?(6/6) Red Horse (3/16) Losers Love Company (1/1) Spa Fever (1/1) Burn Darker (1/4)

Aurelian Cycle fics: Brilliant Disguise(12/12), No Surrender(15/?), The Sacrifice That Mattered(1/1)

Black Company fic: Winter Burns(1/1)

Updates

If you want to know about updates to a specific project I leave my anticipated upload schedule in fic notes(usually on ch 1).

For the most recent updates follow me on Twitter, that is where I post about when new chapters go up, and will say if chapters are delayed etc.

I am not opposed to you politely asking about updates in my comments sections, so long as you keep it respectful(or funny) and don't overdo it. I totally understand the worry over fics updating, and I take it as a compliment that you're that worried about my silly little story :]

Boundaries

Minors - If you're a minor do not message me, and do not interact with any NSFW content I create. I am an adult, and I do write some stuff rated T, but a vast majority of my work is rated M or E and intended for an adult audience only.

Critique - Critiques of my work are fine, though I'd prefer to not see it(don't tag me etc). Tip - Compliment sandwiches are your friend. Anything that is overly negative/harassment in comments will be deleted. Keep things civil and within reason and we'll be fine. I have thick skin, but I do this for fun and don't have time for this type of thing. If there is a serious error in a fic feel free to dm me about it.

Inspired works - if for some reason one of my works inspires you to create your own thing(art, fic, headcanon, etc), awesome! Please tag me and stuff, I wanna see it. I don't really care about credit or anything(we're all here to have fun). But if you make something based off something I create I seriously will probably cry(in a good way). Please tag me in anything you create <3

Sharing - Feel free to share my works on Twitter or with your friends, fic clubs etc. That's fine, and please let me know what you think, I love interacting. However do not repost my works to any other platforms(like Wattpad). I only post on AO3 and would like to keep it that way.

Interacting - I seriously just love being in fandom communities. It's why I love comments so much. I just wanna chat about blorbos, ships, writing, fandom culture, and everything in between. Go nuts, comment away, tag me on Twitter, send asks on Tumblr, I promise you aren't bothering me.

More About Me as a Writer

Here are some posts to get a better sense of where I am as a writer, and what my tastes are with regards to storytelling. Just so you can get a taste of my specific brand of crazy ;)

My favorite fanfiction trope post

Weirdest places I've written fanfiction post

Beta and Collabs

Beta requests - If you are looking for a beta reader(in my fandoms) then reach out, I might very well be interested(if it's for the Aurelian Cycle the answer is a preemptive YES). Just let me know the project you're working on and the type of feedback you're looking for and I'll get back to you.

I have a pretty quick turnaround time, but I am an adult with a full time job, so it depends on how busy I am.

Writing Collabs - if you are a fellow fic writer and want to collab and write something together, yeah I'd like to talk. I've never done it before, but it sounds fun :) I am picky about ships though. Other Works These are works that I have on anon for various reasons. I am always happy to talk about them so don't be afraid to send asks or comment <3

DNF/MCYT fics: The Hounds of Love(11/11) Unsought is Better(9/9), Suffer Love(UIB sequel)(9/9) February 15th(5/5) I'd Lie(24/24) Hecate's Little Demon(5/7) One Fated Thread(3/3) Haunted Deep(3/3)

#lucithornz #pinned

[mr-jaybird]

deep in my lis sobeck blorbo feelings atm!

i have made full time senior research faculty at one of the top-ranked universities in the entire world at the age of 29, 3 years into my career. it is a position i was personally headhunted for, essentially offered to me specifically on the basis of the professional and personal reputation i had built after working in government for a single year

damn near every single person here is a phd or an md. i have zero graduate school whatsoever, and while i do have a degree, it's in a field only tangentially related, and all of what i actually do and every skill i need i taught myself completely on my own. i'm a scrappy self-taught little thing, and even more than that, i am a good decade younger than anyone else working here, and what's even worse, i look it

(i recognize lis actually went and got the damn phd, but the youth and inexperience...blorbo feelings anyway)

this morning, part of what we went over is that the work i do is so critical and sensitive that certain mistakes on my part could result in a national news scandal, and the university losing the entire contract permanently. the thing is, if that were to happen, even from an innocent mistake, it would be right to do so, because what i have access to personally is so sensitive that it could have severe negative impacts on the lives of close to a million children. i can do this, i will do this, and i will be VERY fucking careful, but it's scary! i can do a hell of a lot of good for a lot of people here, but that's the other side of the coin

they are also setting up a meeting for me specifically with the director of the entire research center, who is a giant in the field. not just the guy who runs my division, but the whole damn thing. they told me they want his eyes on me, specifically, they want him to be watching what i do personally because they think i will transform their entire department and help launch them into the future. they have told me over and over that they think that i will be able to revolutionize their processes and research

and i am good at what i do, have been at the top of my class and beyond and able to learn anything i ever needed my entire life, but honestly, i am also terrified of living up to my own legend. it is intimidating to be put in the position of the brilliant star that will make big waves, and to know that while i am very very smart i am also desperately trying to figure out what i'm doing, and to know that because i come off as that smart people never believe me when i have doubts--always the reassurance that you're a genius, you can do this, when i'm like oh my god i know i can but will someone please make sure i'm not doing it alone. i know that i will be able to do my job, but i am afraid i will not be able to live up to the HUGE expectations they have of me. what if i'm only good, instead of great?

despite my fear, i have so much ambition, so much it burns. it's such a catch-22 where if my job is too easy i start going crazy because i have too much restless energy and unspent potential, but then i tend to jump into the deep end on something and become a workaholic and burn myself out. i have not yet learned how to harness that fire and keep it burning steadily instead of alternating between fireworks and smoldering ashes. i am hoping i DO learn it at this job, though

people have been expecting great things of me since i started talking, honestly. parents, teachers, friends, professors, lovers, everyone talking about the big things i'm going to do. i have expected great things of myself as well, knowing that i'm capable of them, and truthfully, i've succeeded. this job definitely qualifies. but i'm so scared i've gotten to this cliff, trying to fly, and am about to discover i'm actually falling instead

anyone who made it through all this and is familiar with horizon is now like oh dude, yeah, you're projecting hardcore on lis huh. and i gotta say, as a brilliant, breaking-in-young, somewhat emotionally stunted and closed off, ambitious, workaholic, dedicated to public good work, confident in my core competence but with deep insecurities programmer/scientist, YEAH I SURE AM

#a LOT of my personal worries below the cut #replies or message responses welcome :)

[bam-stroker]

hi!! i'm a huge fan of all your works, and i was wondering if i could bother you for a little advice!

i've been trying to post my own writing, and while i'm decently confident in my work, i tend to overthink a Lot when it comes to actually posting on the internet. i usually get super anxious and delete it within a couple hours. have you ever dealt with nerves like that? do you have any advice on how to get through it?

you seem super nice and your work really inspired me so i thought i'd ask :3 ☀️🫶

O wow! Thank you for the kind words!

I have 2 things that really helped me out with finally putting stuff out there on ye old internet

Perfection is IMPOSSIBLE

You can edit and edit and EDIT forever! And then you'll just edit your head out of ever accepting the story as it is. Heck you'll start to look at the words on the page and maybe even start hating your voice as a writer. A dangerous path of self destruction and sadness! For me - I know for a fact grammar is my weakness. Have always struggled with the rules/restrictions. So for me, I accept it! Just like if you played sports you might know, hmmm I might not be super fast but I sure can throw that ball SO FAR.

I understand my limit - and to some that might be a put off. And that's alright! For the stuff I put out there for funsies I shrug and let myself not care as much about the grammar stuff. Now for the work I eventually sell - I'll tag someone else in for grammar if I feel it's important for that project.

At the end of the day I write FOR FUN. I do this to not think about my day job stuff. So fun is the only goal I have! Perfection is a shiny thing far off in the distance that tbh is not real. And giving yourself something attainable as a motivator will do far more for your nerves. Do it for fun! Do it because you wanna talk to friends about it! Do it just to see how you grow!

Perfection can be holding a mirror up and saying "Well why am I not like x?" You're you - the story you have to tell is yours. Inspiration can come from many places but beware the itching thought in the back of the mind of someone else's work = perfection. Even that other artist is not perfect.

Follow your motivator and when perfection creeps up - go take a walk outside and come back when you're well rested and well fed.

Make an account just for writing

So if you take a glance around my ye old blog - I made this one entirely for the sake of writing. TBH this was the biggest thing to allow me freedom to just write and not worry too much.

It allows for a space where the people who want to engage with my writing can do so. Or if anything it keeps my easily distracted mind in my best attempt of a chaos containment zone haha.

I've always written a bunch of things just for me, but I've also always wanted to engage more with other people through writing. I want to talk about my little blorbos! I personally think of my pen name as akin to a drag name. If having a buffer between your personal identity and the writing helps - go for that! That certainly was the thing that let me finally let loose and not be as in my head.

At the end of the day making art can be an incredibly personal thing. Writing in particular - because it can feel like your voice on full display! If the fear stems from a place of being afraid of people not liking it, it can feel incredibly personal.

For me, following my motivator of fun and creating the buffer of my silly little skeleton was enough to finally let me relax and enjoy sharing with others. I've been writing 20ish years... but now I can finally say I'm having a blast with it in ways I never could have imagined before! I wish joy for you in your sharing process, and hope my little thoughts were helpful 💞✨

#ask spooky #writing process #writeblr

[dungeons-are-too-cold]

Fine by Me by Andy Grammer is a fucking garvez song

I'm sorry but this song is a Garvez song, there is just no other options, I don't care about your blorbos (I do but I don't lmao) But just look at these lyrics!!!!!

You're not the type, type of girl to remain With the guy, with the guy Too shy, too afraid to say, he'll give his heart to you forever I'm not the boy that will fall to his knees With his hands clasped tight Begging, begging you please To stay with him for worse or for better But I'm staring at you now There's no one else around I'm thinking you're the girl for me I'm just saying it's fine by me If you never leave And we can live like this forever It's fine by me

Like YES Penny is all about open commitment, all about dedication, and hates things changing. She needs someone consistent to love her.

Luke has been the lone wolf bad boy for so long and clearly his love life hasn't been all too interesting up until Lisa, which I mean we all see how that goes. Until penny, I think he's too cool and collected to be as openly devoted as he is to her

She changes so much for him. He has to work at getting her to like him (at least in his mind he does. she's already smitten lol) More and more he sees her and knows that he wants to spend his life with her.

And then the fucking second verse really gets me

In the past I would try Try hard to commit to a girl Wouldn't get too far And it always somehow seemed to fall apart Who are you, you, you I can see what I need I can dream realistically I knew that this was different from the start And it seems that every time We're eye to eye I can find another piece of you That I don't wanna lose And I'm staring at you now There's no one else around I'm thinking you're the girl I need

Like fucking come on. He can't make things work with Lisa, he doesn't have some long history of serious relationships, he could never be open and emotional or caring and soft with his previous partners. It just wasn't sustainable.

With Penny though, she changes the game. "I knew that this was different from the start"! He literally invites her to his house to meet his dog, while ALSO trying to make her jealous!!!!! Literally he has this playful loving adoring moment with Penny right out the gate. You can see the way he looks at her, like he's ready.

He constantly sees so much in her, and he admires her so much as and agent, as a woman, and as a person. There is so much that he loves learning about her, and you can see how excited he gets when she let's something slip or he starts to get on her wave length. He can't stand the idea of her ever being ion a situation where she doesn't have a shoulder to lean on. Just absolutely everything about this man screams "I can't lose you."

And that subtle change from "girl for me" to "girl i need", thats Luke recognizing that she's more than just a girl or a girlfriend. Penny is someone who balances him out, she changes who he is and what he wants and its scary but he doesn't just want her, he needs her.

This bridge is everything though too

And it's never easy Darling, believe me I'm as skeptical as you But when I think of, life without us She's like "What we supposed to do?" But I don't wanna come on too strong

They both are scared, and nervous, not wanting to jump into things especially with a coworker. Luke hasn't felt this strongly for anyone before, and Penny had already been burned by an office romance.

Logically though, they don't know what to do without each other. They care, they worry, they love each other so much that they don't know what else to do. Their relationship was tested before they were even dating and they continually showed up for each other!

Also Luke is a fucking idiot thinking she doesn't absolutely adore him lmao. "But I don't wanna come on too strong" in my opinion basically describes everything Luke Alvez was doing in the series until he asked her out, and even that was too forward for him lmao

#garvez #criminal minds watch through #criminal minds #penelope garcia #luke alvez #Spotify