#you can still interpret this as them hugging in the afterlife if you want to | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

odesofmeddea · 3 months

Text

trying on an argument why sam and dean were in factual canonical enmeshment: their bond presumes the absence of nuclear family or any long-term partner in the lives of either; the very formulation of this rigid condition - me or her, - is telling, overtly so, how their relationships are rooted bog-deep in the belief in its crucial self-sufficiency. the bond between related people devoid of such an incestuous tilt generally endorses that a relative builds and commits to a family of his own and puts not a stipulation of choice. that is, ‘it is fine if my brother marries - how and why would that affect our connection?’ - is not fine with sam and dean. if it was so, sam would've kept dating ruby, amelia, etc., etc., without dean putting him under the exigency of picking, without the uncontrollable invasion of his sexual and general privacy by dean (‘did you have sex with her? first madison then ruby now cara then lilith’, dean eavesdropping on sam's calls and going through his phone, or interrogating him concerning his whereabouts, if there's a woman he doesn't know about), and, moreover, without sam feeling an unspelt obligation of either concealing (why, right?) or rescinding these side hook-ups. oh, also it's him or benny. same with lisa, who knew the fact of her secondariness when competing with sam and that the existence of one naturally excluded that of the other. why can't they all be a big family performing roles socially allotted to them?.. because sam fills in all the roles. because dean and sam want to live in one room and they brush their teeth together and share one car and invariably solve cases together and own a dog and coparent jack and even their afterlife is a shared homoheaven bereft of other love interests. where a woman is to put herself between, in what inextant interstice? ultimately she is reduced to a blur in the background while sammy raises his kid, dean ii, and she is not addressed, not once, in the script, her only definition is of a nemo-womb sam cohabits with to conceive a replica of dean he can nurture as a solace during his lifelong premeditation of reunion with his brother, his nóstos - this is an awful lot of all women and possible partners of have been and to be. one would say that's rather too much. were sam and dean a girl and a boy conforming to gender binarism & heteronormativity the ambiguity of their relation would've been acknowledged more widely, the incestuous codependency interpreted more obscene. but since they're not and also are very uneasy with the innuendo (‘the most troubling question is why they keep assuming we're gay? - we're just brothers!’), it's very convenient to diminish it to just a strong fraternal love. which it is. but not only that.

the potentiality of erotic subtext inside of their greedy proximity seems scary and stupid and is eschewed by both - how are they to subvert and subsume their relationship into non-brother categorization when it's just their life, just the only thing they've known, being this close? still, the only affairs permitted are the ones that are treated as and are simple, emotionally untethered one-night-stands because sam and dean are not sexually available to each other. nor they're resolute into directly consummating their relationship - the need to is either lacking or suppressed and is to be interpreted variously because covert incest is not primarily about coition but miscellanea of things, more often than not of un/subconscious genesis and procession. sam and dean know their relationship is bonkers. they don't necessarily have to know or admit they're a couple. what else they know, though, is they can't have sex. they cannot consciously translate their enmeshment into overt eroticism. that's why the siren episode is titled ‘sex and violence’ - there the mutual violence unleashed onto each other (along with the symbolic penetration through knife and breaking of the door) serves as a surrogate for sex. that, along with impulsive hugs, is the only form of lingering physical contact they usually have. but the yearning, although not experienced in one concreteness, compensates and provides for itself in a safer realm of sam and dean's emotional spaces. they can't have sex but they can fall into possession of each other's feelings. that's why once the personal attachment to anyone else is developed it is construed as betrayal by either. if you need another person, if you feel something for them that you're supposed to feel only with me (intimacy, trust, love, loyalty, belonging) - that's when you abandon me because we can't coexist with others.

#spn #wincest #samdean #spn meta

131 notes · View notes

jadespeedster17 · 1 year

Text

A Deals A Deal (Part 2)

Note: People really liked the Demon!Scar idea I had, and while I don’t have a play by play of chapters or a whole plot (other than Slow Burn), I can write scenes as I go. To read Part 1, look for the reblog I did for @bluiex to read the AroAce Anon’s version and the one I did. :)

As a side note, this will get into religious themes, into areas that might piss off some very hard core Christians out there. For my own sake I’m saying this now, this is all made up stuff using source material. Most might be accurate, most might be my interpretation, and some of it is just bullshit I made up.

I’ll also be making references to Hells Belles alot, so yeah...

Now that that’s out of the way, please enjoy.

The cats were happy now, as Scar was petting Pearl with a silly grin, Grian was making something for himself, and Scar said he doesn’t really eat people food. He was trying not to think about what that could mean. “So the terms are as I make them right? And depending on what I ask depends on the price?” Grian asked Scar as he sat down in the arm chair.

“Yup!” Scar said cheerfully to him, “Everything has a price, and each price gets higher. Persay you want to be a million air, the cost might be your humanity or a part of your soul.” he explained while giggling when the cat pawed his face for attention. “Oh Jellie would be so jealous.”

Grian took in that info, frowning slightly as he thought about it. “you can sell ‘parts’ of your soul?” he echoed, finding that very odd, he would have thought a soul as a whole thing.

“Basically,” Scar’s tail hugged his waist now bringing up his feet to sit cross legged on the very worn couch. “By selling a part of yourself, it makes reincarnation a little harder in the afterlife. Demons don’t have much use for anything but souls, save for the Princes who can use anything. Most of us deal in souls and soul halves. The more souls a demon has, the more power they have.”

The frown stayed on Grian’s face, “So is it anything like what the bible says?” he asked a bit worried now.

Shrugging at him, “Not entirely, I mean there are punishment levels for truly even souls that come there. But reincarnation wouldn’t even be a thing is people were always tortured. New Souls, like yourself, are very very rare to come around.” Scar grinned at him, showing off fangs.

“New souls?” Grian instinctively placed a hand on his chest.

The demon gave a cheerful nod, the smile staying on his face. “Most souls are recycles, most of the gods don’t make new souls these days, not with how many people there already are in the world.” he explained messing with Pearl’s paws, “New Souls are rare because of this, it means you’ve not been reincarnated once, and this if your first chance at life. The more a soul reincarnates, the less shiny it gets.

“As for the idea that you’ll be tortured just for make a deal? What good would that benefit me, or you? If you’ve been a mostly good person, most it does is you have a chance to become a demon, or get the pretty basic afterlife most Satanist get.” the grin showed again, “but not many stay good people once they make a deal, power gets to you humans head. Free will and all that.”

Silence rang after that as Grian sat back with a heavy huff, his mind was reeling a bit from all of this. “So, if all of this is pretty much common knowledge, why do people still get it wrong or have their own versions.”

Scar tilted his head, “Why do you humans do any type of lies or control? Power.” he said simply. “What started as a common theme branched from different experiences happening. The Gods and Goddesses themselves, and the God of many mono religions, approach everyone differently. From this, religions were made, and some changed to just better keep society going, for better or worse. I mean, you live in a capitalistic society, surely you know by now control is how anything works.”

Running clawed fingers through Peral’s fur, Scar smiled, “Ultimately what you believe in just determines your afterlife of choice, the universal rule is Don’t Be A Dick... which you people have a hard time doing.” he looked thoughtful, “Cubby put it best when he said: ‘The bar is in the crust of the earth, and some people like making digging their hobby’.” he let out another snicker.

That was again alot to unpack as Grian was in thought now, eating his cup of ramen while Scar seemed preoccupied on Pearl and now Maui. This did change alot of his world view, given Scar was bound to tell him the truth, it was enough to shake his foundation again. Great he already had enough of that when he left his parents house. But... here he was, with a literal demon in his apartment petting his cats, and telling him the world was mostly built on lies.

Well... that part he already knew from watching enough TV shows and reading internet stuff.

“So, to make a deal.” Scar said snapping Grian out of his head, “Given you’re a new soul, if you offer that I’d give you anything you want.” a smirk, “And i do mean anything, being I run punishments on level 8 means I’ve got alot of influence in Hell.”

Grian swallowed hard at that as he could feel Scar eyeing him with interest, the idea that other was staring at his soul was unnerving. “I’ll be honest Scar, I didn’t think this would work, much less what I’d have asked for! I thought Demons were fake, and this was to prove to myself it was.” he groaned a bit setting his cup of ramen down.

. . .

“Then let’s take this a day at a time then?” Scar suggested in his cheerful tone, “Given I’m bound to you now, you can call me whenever you think you need something, we negotiate price, and go from there.” a clap of the hands he grinned, “Plus it’s been years since I’ve been in the human world, I’ve always wanted to see what you guys have been up to!”

Grian turned to Scar at that mouth gapped, “What?” he balked a bit as Scar had a cheeky grin on his face.

“First thing though, a better place for the two of us, i heard there are alot of Victorian houses for fresh college grads like yourself.” Scar said standing up as the cats jumped off him. “real cheap room and housing, haunted and all that, and I like to mess with spirits anyway.” he waved his hand off. “Rent is better there than here, trust me.”

The demon walked past him chattering away as Grian bewildered, “Wait you’re moving in with me!?” he asked getting up to follow Scar out of the room. Only to pause and quickly swipe the ramen cup before Maui could inspect it for food, and rushing back to Scar. “But why bother moving in when I could just summon you again?” he asked.

“Like I said, I’ve missed being on the mortal plane. We don’t get to leave Hell often, why do you think it’s so hard to get us to leave a house?” Scar scoffed as if that was just the most logical thing ever. Grian could only stare at him as Scar went back to the room where Grian’s phone was still on the bed.

Scar was already typing as Grian made a shocked sound, “What how did you get into my phone?” he asked but Scar didn’t answer.

“Look you want out of this hole of a house right?” Scar asked, as Grian went to speak, “Yes or No, Grian, it’s a simple question.” he teased, blinking a few times Grian nodded. “So, this is a free on the house thing, to get us both out of this place, and into a place with history, room, and in a better part of town.” Scar beamed going back to searching.

“really don’t know why you moved to America of all places.” Scar said casually, “but we’ll make it work, exploiting a system is what I do best. And eventually we’ll find what you want to trade that pretty soul of yours for.”

Grian placed a hand on his chest again as if trying to hide his ‘soul’ from Scar’s view. That made a pit of unease settle in his stomach, Scar didn’t seem to notice or care as he kept looking. “Well, you don’t exactly look hum-” he was cut off as in a blink of the eye, Scar was in a hoodie, jeans, with no horns, blueish transparent wings, or even a tail... he looked human. “Um...” Grian muttered

All he got in response was a playful smirk, and Grian decided to not say anything. At least he was getting out of this place, and he didn’t have to trade anything for it. He left to go throw away the empty cup and just... process all of this.

The old Victorian house was... well old. It had faded red and brown paint, with green moss growing with English ivy on the stone foundation and walls. Ominous was the right word for it.

Scar was beaming, “The owner of it is more than happy to rent us two rooms, apparently the other tenants staying said something about a demon in the house. Cubby likes to mess with people.” he said casually leading the way in, “Comes fully furnished already, which means no more cough that smells like cat litter. And this place is pet friendly, I think the owner is just desperate to not have to sell to the bank.” he joked.

As if one demon wasn’t already enough, Maui protested in his carrier as he hated being in it. Scar was carrying Pearl’s carrier, and Grian could only sigh as they started to unpack what he had to bring inside. The owner, a man named Scott had told him he had to at least live here for 10 years, and rent was super cheap. He didn’t seem to care so long as he up kept the house and cleaned up after himself. Seemingly too tired really given the last people here left in the middle of the night after... ‘Cubby’ had threw knives after the husband, kept making the daughter draw creepy pictures (which were still on tapped to the wall), and gave the wife nightmares and scratch marks. Also something about blood running out of the walls, smell of death, one college student getting possessed and taking out lights around the area, another getting pushed and locked in the basement when home alone, and something about a pentagram in the attic and occult book that Scott just left in the house!

Well at least it was cheap.

Scar had possibly already wandered off to catch up with his old friend, leaving Grian to unpack in his room and set up the litter boxes. Letting the cats explore around the house. No doubt he’d be meeting ‘Cubby’ some time soon and frankly he was trying not to think about that.

Sighing heavily, Grian petted Pearl when she passed by, so his roommate was now two demons, in a very haunted old mansion, a landlord that was sketchy as fuck, and armed with new knowledge that most religions were bullcrap.

Oh and said Demon was trying to get him to pawn off his ‘New Soul’ and seemed very eager to try anything. given on the drive here Scar kept making offer after offer to Grian to make a deal with him. Ranging from money, love, happiness, 3 inches below the belt... Who would sell their soul for only 3 inches! go for at least 5.

Shaking his head, Grian put it out of his mind, as Mumbo said he’d be heading over later to check out the new place. He really hoped Scar and this ‘Cubby’ played nice.

-------

That’s about all I have for now guys, between here and when Scar starts to explore more will have a gap. Also more Hermits will join as Grian’s ‘roommates’ and will be the subject of Cub’s ‘Pranks’. If you can call pushing, clawing, biting, and making blood rain down ‘pranks’.

Most won’t stick around long, and a few might be demons themselves. Grian is gonna become the center of attention for his soul. And Scar is gonna be a jealous Demon.

#tw religions themes #demon!Scar #goodtimeswithscar #grian #hermitcraft #hermitcraft fanfic #hermitcraft au #A Deals A Deal AU #fanfiction

31 notes · View notes

ourmondobongo · 2 years

Note

It's really hard to deal with some people on twitter sometimes. They just can't let levihans be happy. I heard some on that platform say that we immersed in darkness meanwhile looking up and having his full attention on something probably outside of whatever's happening, and following that scene we have Hanji who seems to be looking away from him hopelessly due to the fact Levi's focus is miles away from them. I was pretty sure they had the intention of navigating this tweet toward the "promise" and once again interpreting Levi as some one-dimensional simp so I didn't continue reading. However, I would like to read your interpretation on that opening scene and what you think of a stupid post like this? Sorry for the long ask and have a great day!

Hello!!

Have a great day you too!!!

Oh, quoting myself a few days ago - "Aot Twitter Fandom is hell and a curse".

Ofc, it can be really amazing sometimes - like the insane fantastic hype of the OP and general positivity of yesterday!!! But other times, they just makes one want to roll their eyes, or even gauge their eyes out to unsee some terrible discourses, memes and highly offensive hateful jokes disguised as "fanarts". I still remember Mikasa being horribly ruined with Eren bird 🤮

And, yeah, I myself actually saw many takes there and here too talking about how Levi is that way because he is lost without Erwin. However, many people on Twitter was also pointing out Levi himself chose to let Erwin die/rest. Then I saw other people calling Erwin a lot of names, and highlighting how he was driving ego by his dream - to which other people replied Erwin would have supported the Rumbling (🤦‍♀️). And then people were fighting, badmouthing Armin, and then doing all kinds of crazy sexual jokes, and then-------

-----I quote myself above again LOL

As for my thoughts on Levi in the OP, I think it's interesting the sequence where he was placed - "all I ever wanted to do was save your life, I never wanted to grab a knife, I swear" - then it's him, Hanji, and Zeke one after the other. That part is so depressing, and full of meaning and messages!! Imma soon write a post about this to explain my view, but just to drop a little resume, Levi looking destroyed like that is he fed up with all violence, death and losses of his life (including Hanji’s, in a foreshadow of his lone path after 132 and 133) because their world is shit; and Hanji is so done with the violence and bloodshed and chaos of their world, and their eyes closing as if turning away from Levi is a foreshadow of their own death imo; and the memory of Zeke playing with Ksaver is a foreshadow of 137, his own death chapter, where Zeke also just wanted to have rather kept playing catch with his adopted father instead of having turned into what he became...

All three of them just wanted all that madness to JUST END. And I think the OP song + all other frames of other characters used up until Eren screaming over the Wall express this feeling quite strongly.

They are all so, so, so done with their World that I wanted to hug them all, pull them all out of there, and destroy everything myself...

...and it's why I find it lovely that the Ending does just that. All city buildings and sceneries are destroyed and reduced to ruins. But as the world is cruel yet beautiful, it's all covered with flowers and plants, and they look like a afterlife World where the sun never sets.

Man, what a pain.

This season is gonna rip my heart to pieces.

#answering devoted hearts #everyone is so done with their world's bullshit #but Levi’s loneliness and pain is unbearable #it's TOO MUCH #someone hugs this man please #it hurts as f-uck #it reminds me of him yelling at Pieck on chapter 138 #when she says that Levi asking her to keep fighting after everyone is becoming a titan is too much #Levi screaming back at her to hurry up is like us reader screaming YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT LOSING TOO MUCH #srly #yams had no mercy on levi #s04p02

38 notes · View notes

omniscientwreck · 3 years

Text

With Every Single Thing I Have

Beginning note: ***MAJOR SPOILERS FOR C2 E141***

CW: Character Death, Talk of Death

This is my interpretation of the canon description of Essek and Caleb’s days with some good angst thrown right in there. I have no knowledge of what is or isn’t cannon about the afterlife in Critical Role so this may be canon divergent but I needed it to cope. I hope you enjoy! Title Is Taken From The Song Two by Sleeping At Last

Caleb Widogast is dying.

He’s old, nearly 90 years of age. His body aches with every rain, stairs become more difficult, but his casting never fades. His mind is sharp and he reads, learns, and teaches until the end comes for him. Up in his tower, exhausted and bed-ridden he hears shuffling outside the door before it opens without so much as a touch and a tray of food is brought in. Essek Thelyss glides gently into the room, “Oh good, you’re awake. I prepared a light lunch for you, would you eat?”

Nodding back at the drow, the bittersweet smile that’s become a companion to him in Essek’s presence settling again into his wrinkled features. Essek sits on the bed beside him, book in hand as he often does and the memories written all over Caleb’s face come flooding back.

They had gone back to Aeor after the business in Rexxentrum concluded. Jester had helped Caleb locate Essek and when he found out he wasn’t too late, he was still at the outpost, he’d gone almost immediately. The winter clothes they’d bought all those months ago to chase their lost friend still fit and they carried many memories in them with the promise of more to come.

Their time together in Aeor was long. They took many months scouring the ruins for every book they could find. Between his Vault of Amber and Essek’s Wristpocket as well as a borrowed bag of holding they were able to collect the knowledge of Aeor. They found every device, every tiny dunamantic stone. They went back to the machine, the one that promised Caleb his dreams, closure, a chance to atone. The one that could change Essek’s past, that would give him his freedom.

Essek gazed upon the machine and he decided to remain in hiding. He looked directly at Caleb, made the decision to live forever with the consequences of his actions, because without them they wouldn’t have this. This moment, this trip, these memories.

It is Caleb’s turn now to gaze upon his destiny. He looks into the lavender eyes boring into him with the question Will you do it? His plan is perfect, the only thing that changes is that his parents are not dead and one day maybe he can reunite with them. He can see them grown old, he can tell them everything he’s done. They can be proud of him.

His mind shifts to the Nein, to Veth, Jester. To Astrid and Eodwulf. Back to Essek. It’s impossible to know what would happen if he did this. If he’d be able to come back. Is it really worth giving up everything he knows? Potentially giving up the Mighty Nein not only for himself but for them too?

He reaches into his components bag, smears dust across his forearm and with a green ray he carves away the experiment. He destroys, permanently, any hope of ever going back, in favour of hope for the future. Essek helps him burn everything and when they’re done he can only stare at the drow. The man who’s come so far, allowed himself to be so changed by the love of friends (Caleb’s love) that he went from enemy to beloved companion. He stares and divergent futures flash before his eyes as if he’s staring deep into the Luxon. They all end the same, he dies and Essek lives on without him for many years. The change is in the times in between now and then.

He knows which one he want and if the last two months were any indication Essek had his own hopes.

A week or so later, they ate in the tower. When the Nein first separated the tower had felt empty, he usually elected to sleep in a hotel room or in the dome under the stars. With Essek it’s easier to be there. They’ve fallen into a comfortable routine while researching that involves them spending the day immersed in ancient secrets forgotten to time. They would spend hours in complete silence, reading in tandem or copying runes and arcane patterns and then one of them would find something truly tantalizing and the silence would be broken as they began theorizing. When Essek gets excited his lavender eyes brighten and his whole face lifts and it’s no secret to Caleb that his heart races and his face melts into a soft, tender expression that Essek catches and matches.

After, they’ll go into the tower and eat, served warm soups and breads by little fey cats and then they read in the study in companionable silence until they retire to separate rooms. This night, a week before their time was up, Caleb’s keen mind caught up with him. Suddenly he became very aware of the passage of time, the potential futures slipping away and he rests his spoon on the table, overwhelmed by the shrinking timeline ahead.

They talk that night, instead of reading. They sit in two armchairs in a quiet carpeted room lit by purple globules of light, gently bobbing around their heads and they talk. They talk for hours. Essek tells Caleb his sins and Caleb elaborates on his own. They talk plainly and it’s hard to do, but at some point the chairs moved closer, and then their hands touched, eventually Essek’s hands were folded into Caleb’s.

He felt closer to Essek after that. For the rest of the week it was easier to reach out and grasp his hand, to pull him into a hug. Two weeks later, they talked again and after that they kissed. Their kisses weren’t frequent but they were familiar, a warm comfort over those last weeks in Aeor.

Theirs was not a whirlwind romance. It was something more precious and much more difficult to describe. It burned slow and and steadily rose until something had to be done. They kept in close contact after Aeor, it is those letters that begin the new collection that fills Caleb’s left holster.

They visit occasionally until the burn of the eyes of the Dynasty on Essek’s back became too hot. Caleb has taken to staying in Nicodranas when he and Beauregard are taking a break from dismantling centuries old systems to weed out the rot so he asks Essek to come stay with him. Quietly, out of the eyes of the empire and most of their friends, they begin to build a life. They construct with care, laying a sturdy foundation because though they both know this arrangement is temporary they promise to always be together in one way or another; because though gravity can be altered, it always rights itself and the pull Caleb feels towards Essek, has felt for some time, is a law of his nature.

They allow themselves as long as the other will have them and they spend years together. The kisses become more frequent as they gradually abandon inhibitions. Caleb’s life is a blink compared to Essek and he becomes more aware each year of the limited time he has. He and Essek stay together in varying locations for as long as he can bear it, he realizes now that they have earned this happiness, however fleeting. It will always be a larger portion of his life than it will be of Essek’s so he holds out as long as he can. He begins to teach in this time and though Essek cannot really be free he still has his work studying their findings and occasionally he travels.

Caleb watches him advance so much in their decade together and he gets bleary eyed imagining all Essek will do when he’s gone. They learn together, share every meal, he learns Undercommon and teaches Zemnian, and they spend every possible night together in every possible way. They share a sweet and intense passion and Caleb’s love sinks deeper and deeper into his heart.

When his forehead wrinkles and his hair is greying he realizes his time is up. He has goals, he needs to teach, he needs to fully commit to being in the Empire and his short life must be spent doing as he promised all those years ago, making each place better than he found it. That is the hardest conversation he’s ever had. “I wish it were not this way. That it didn’t have to be, but I do not have as much time as you so I must burn brightly to make my impact. I will always love you Essek Thelyss.”

“And I you Caleb Widogast. When you stumbled into my life all those years ago, Empire infiltrator holding my greatest crime in your hand I had no idea what would happen. You were a variable I did not account for, could never have foreseen. Of all the possible futures in store for me this one, where I am here with you, where I have been here with you for ten years and where I will continue to be by your side thought it is not the same is the best one I could have never predicted.”

They give themselves one last year. They don’t travel, Caleb takes the year off and they spend 328 days exactly together, in bliss. They do their best not to allow the apprehension of good-bye to creep in. Caleb knows it’s not good-bye, not truly and not forever. But when the day comes though he tries to hold it back he cries bitter tears and holds Essek tight and the smaller man shakes with his own sobs. But they loved each other for eleven years, and they manage to continue loving each other for another fourty or so.

Essek leaves and travels for a while to do his own work. This is frequent in the latter half of Caleb’s life but every time he comes back and his friend brings him stories and listens to all of his own. They help each other research, Caleb still tells him everything and relishes every moment they spend together. They no longer kiss but they are still partners.

Caleb’s life has been better, more fulfilling than he could ever have hoped stumbling out of that wretched prison at the beginning of his second life. He learned peace through the Nein and later through Essek and now that he’s at the end of his time he knows he could not have lived a better life.

Caleb Widogast is old, older than he ever thought he’d be and while his bones and muscles give out and he goes to the Blooming Grove where Caduceus has always said he will end up, to spend his final months, Essek follows.

He cooks the soups the cats used to, they remember everything together, Caleb’s mind keen but Essek has kept up well. At just the right time, Caleb knows. Essek is sat beside him in the bed, the wizards reading in tandem as they’ve done before and fallen into again in this late stage. They have been kissing again, Caleb allowing this last indulgence, one last selfish act. Essek needs it too.

“Essek Thelyss, thank you for everything you’ve done for me. My constant companion, the center of my gravity. You who bent time and space for me and taught me so many things from magic to forgiveness. I have loved you all my life from the moment I could and I would never dream to change a single thing.”

“Caleb Widogast. I have treasured every moment we have spent together, you changed my life, saved a man who knew not that he was dying. I have been happy because I know you and I will continue to be happy because you will never be far from my heart.”

“Please promise to me that you will take care of the others. Allow them to care for you. Find new people and care for them and allow yourself to be cared for in return, live your life as fully as you are able, and when you are done I will see you again just as I am about to see my family.”

“I will. You have loved me all of your life and I will love you for all of mine. I will never know someone like you again. Thank you for allowing me the privilege of your companionship. It is an honor to love you and it always will be.”

The quiet conversation fades and they share one final kiss and Essek sits as Caleb drifts to sleep, gently running his fingers through his hair. Then he goes to get Caduceus. Caleb Widogast is dead.

---------------------------------

Essek Thelyss is dying.

He is nearly 740 years old and he is in decline. He, like his friends before him, retires to the Blooming Grove to live out his remaining days, however many they might be. Caduceus’ kin are caring and when he shows up on their doorstep they expect him. “He told us you would arrive one day. Welcome home and thank you for being here.”

Essek’s life has been a thing of remarkable chance, nearly improbable. He has learned to manipulate as much as he can but even he could not have foreseen the path he ended up taking. He has lived so long, and his life has been full but he is tired.

Fjord had been the first of the Nein to pass. After him Caleb. After Caleb the group coalesced around him. They had never shared many details, but they seemed to know. Keeping his promise to Caleb he allowed them to care for him. To bring him food, to message him to make sure he was okay. They invited him on adventures when they needed and he never turned them down.

They continued asking him to teleport them and every single time he did. Kingsley goes next and then Beauregard. Those years are full of so much loss condensed into such a tiny portion of his existence. He isn’t used to things happening so quickly and he begins to reach out. New connections. He finds people to care for, to mentor and to bolster. He dedicates his life to using aliases to research and study and publish materials to help the mages after him and Caleb. He finds himself beseeched by parties of assholes for assistance and while he never fights alongside another group he makes himself useful in any other way in his ability.

He always imparts the lesson to leave the world better than they found it, and if they listen, if they are the same as his friends, the best people he’s ever known, the world will survive yet. There is a pause between good-byes for a number of years. Then he loses Yasha and Jester. Jester is one of the hardest, the friendly little blue tiefling with a heart for adventure who hugged him when touch had still burned. After her goes Veth and after Veth, finally Caduceus goes back to the earth.

He promised Caleb to live a full life, but every year, the anniversary of the day they met several lifetimes ago, he visits the Blooming Grove. He walks the grounds, he sits with Caleb and he tells him of his research, he reminisces and he whispers love to the flowers that grow. They are fiery orange and yellow with some deep purple and blue spattered among them. Caduceus says on his first visit that the blue ones are called forget-me-nots. Essek picks one every year and presses it into a book, like Yasha showed him once upon a time.

Caduceus and Essek drink the tea from the flowers Caleb gave them. For centuries they sat together, telling stories, having extended conversation year after year. Some years Caduceus travelled so Essek made his vigil alone, but he never forgot Caleb and he never forgot the Mighty Nein. They lived as long as he did for they were in his heart always.

The last time he visits Caleb they talk for hours. “Every good thing I have done, every positive emotion and happiness I have known in these centuries has been because of you. You allowed me to feel again and the best decision I could have ever made was letting my plan go to allow myself to grow close to you.”

He is lying beside the grave twirling a delicate blue flower between wrinkled, aching fingers. “Caleb Widowgast you have lived with me for a long while and I thank you again for the gifts you gave me while you were here. I hope you are proud of me. I love you to the end of my days my friend.”

He falls asleep then, in the night of the Blooming Grove, fireflies and an infinite expanse of stars casting gentle light across his stilling form.

As Essek Thelyss fades he finds himself again in a garden. It is brightly coloured and lush, well cared for. There is a small cottage there and as he glides to the door, drawn to it as if by gravity, it opens and he sees copper hair, vibrant blue eyes, and the widest smile he’s missed the most, “I told you my friend, we would meet again.”

“I never doubted you Caleb Widogast.”

#shadowgast #essek thelyss #caleb widogast #critical role #the mighty nein #fan fiction #my writing #wreckwrites #critfic #cr spoilers #critical role spoilers

60 notes · View notes

redxblueihateloveyou · 3 years

Note

Fascinating. They usually cut jealousy scenes to a minimum or don't show at all even in pure BL genre, like Lan Wangji (esp Wen Ning thing) or Shen Wei being extremely possessive, bc it can't be explained by brotherhood in their opinion. It's also the reason it was cut from Ultimate. So why here suddenly add scenes like that and with such heavy focus is a mystery, since you've said it's not in the novel. It's not even reasonable jealousy, its just straight up "cant touch my piece of pizza" stuff

Hmm... never thought about it. LOL in the anime the kept LZ being jealous of Wen Ning though xD. Idk in "Sleuth of the Ming" they made a whole open scene out of it. What I've noticed is that their censorship always works differently, and some choices never cease to surprise me, as in who decides what's ok and whats not, bc idk... I understand that stuff like dying for each other, touching, staring can be by many seen as a touching bromance technically, I mean I've seen many ppl watching even cencored BL and being completely oblivious. But there are sometimes some stuff included, that I personally do not get how it can be interpreted as "close friends" and how it passed the censorship. And I do not mean here sucking out poisons, for example (bc I would've done this for my close friends if they were in danger haha).

I'm just judging from the point of view of like me and my sister being very close to the point of a person on the street asking us if we're lesbians lmao (I like still don't get where it came from, hand holding?xD). As I've said before, I guess I see why some ppl who don't have close friends or family would consider some closeness as romantic (since both close bros and couple do some things like spooning for example), but anyone who like saw idk bts members or have a super close bestie or sibling might know that hugging each other to sleep, wearing their clothes or feeding them a jelly bean if their hands are busy doesn't always mean you have any romance there going on, speaking from my expierience, so I just have different view on this "gay stuff vs bro stuff". (like to me the afterlife pingxie scene is actually gayer than any touching they've done, bc like why he didn't see his family or iron triangle whole if they all bros). It's just there are a LOOOT of things that can be indeed considered bro stuff technically (they might not be, but they could), but there is some stuff that just cannot be explained by we're bros, thats all. And this kind of jealousy is one of them.

Bc like a bit of jealousy like "my bestie wanted to go skating with their lover instead of me, so I'm upset we don't spend as much time together" can exist, but if you have problems with someone hitting on your friend, checking him out or even touching him and you don't want them to date anybody, that's another thing, that just means you wanna date them. Wu Xie can hug Fatty to sleep and they can slap each other's butts like me and my sis, but he'd never be jealous seeing someone flirting with him or smth. You know what I mean here? So I get why it's in most situations considered not censorship appropriate and it's cut.

But the most funny thing about the "him being unreasonably jealous" added scenes is the fact that like they actually chose to make him being absurdly jealous. Bc for example in the first version of the scene, Pangzi was trying to dance with Xiaoge, thats why Wu Xie got all worked up:

it was at least somewhat understandable. But in the actual scene from the drama they went and for some reason changed it. Xiaoge pulled Pangzi in, bc he lost direction while being blind, but it was still Pangzi who got reprimanded for that at the end lmao

so it just became even more hilarious, bc Pangzi just grazed him, he didn't even do anything, so I was like will this guy just calm the fuck down, but no, he kept going lolz

I'm just surprised about some of their deliberate choices I guess. So I agree, weird it is.

But Reboot in general was weird, when it comes to the rollercoaster of their choices lmao. They uncensored, then used censorship to uncensor, then censored to cover, its just the first time I saw this weird kind of censorship, like as long as girls are there, jokes like "I won't be able to get it up on a woman" are okay??????? Idk they were just extremely out there almost each episode with all kinds of stuff, that by the end I was like... well, at this point its already pointless. I guess it was just the first time, I've seen it made in such weird way and actually used in a smart way fitted with the character and no just for the sake of it. Adding a scene when he accidentally calls his in their opinion potential love interest his bro's name is actually uncensoring, not censoring, you know what I mean? (since we in fact didn't move anywhere near this realization in the book). Same as what many noticed about them openly making fun of censorship and "out of nowhere appeared feelings and how its not love and whats wrong with idolization if u don't know a person" after NPSS interviews and how it only made everyone fall for what pingxie have more. So it was like... I actually for the first time enjoyed it. It was a pretty genius way of showing Wu Xie's weird internal struggles from that book, which I thought were not possible to show. Bc as you know he's hilariously oblivious there about all of it and same as WWX for example do not even consider such possibility. But I think it's just bc it's not actual BL BL, it's a story where a couple naturally accidentaly came together and turned out to be both guys (even tho one was initially intende to be a girl xD), so its in general complicated. Wu Xie is just borderline lost at this point xD. It's like "Yeah, I want him... What do you mean as in dating? Whats that?". Or like:

- Want a wife?

- No, I want Xiaoge.

- As in you're gay?

- What's a gay?

That's basically how he rolls.

But I do love jealous Wu Xie, I think it's hilarious here, he's like somehow complitely okay with how idiotic he looks and that's very sweet haha.

P.S. "can't touch my piece of pizza" lmaoo well Xiaoge does look very delicious like Black Glasses says xD

P.P.S. all in all I really do not get how their censorship works in general at all. Like why Wangxian wedding bows were allowed, but other stuff don't? Or like I get like complimenting your bestie "you look hot in this" or "you're so pretty" or smth, but there's a difference between this and saying that their "lips look sweet"... like thats already another thing entirely. So at times I watch cdramas like... huh??? Maybe it depends on who checks it idk

#answered #anonymous #pingxie #lost tomb reboot #reunion the sound of the providence #wu xie #zhang qiling #daomu biji #dmbj #reboot overall just so full of crass only slightly hidden jokes that i was like is that allowed? xD #i didn't get how some parts were okay for their tv #but i'm grateful for those lmao

38 notes · View notes

hangedalladalla · 3 years

Text

Hello everyone this is a fanfic commission for someone. I do fics about different ships and reader inserts as well. This is part of my COMMISSION FOR A CAUSE for my mom’s previous chronic illness and to support her medications and medical needs (please see my pinned post for images of mri scans and interpretations).This is a short fic about Levi and Hange. Please message me if you want to donate or commission me.

MIRACLE

hangedalladalla

Hange Zoe was one to find out that death is definitely not a one way trip. She had always wondered what is to happen once death comes to you.Was there going to be tranquility and hope? Was there some place wherein your soul can finally rest? Was it some place wherein her soul will meet those that she have lost along the way? Or will she just turn into dust and just let her remains just scatter around into the air. The truth was half of her assumptions was true, half of them were not. Just like how she always thought when she was a child they were there those that she have lost along the way. She can name them not all of them but she can name them.

Her ever loyal assistant squad leader Moblit, her dear friend and former commander Erwin, her comrades and friends Nanaba and Miche. Her old squad Nifa,Abel and the others. She even saw Sasha whom she felt like she have failed. Hange looked back to how disappointed she was of herself when Sasha died. She was supposed to live a long life. With those whom she have loved but she felt like she took that away from her. Nonetheless, all of her fears and anxieties all went away when Sasha turned at her and engulfed her in a huge bone breaking hug if she wasn’t dead she would have groaned in pain but in all honesty she did not feel anything at all but relief, that Sasha wasn’t blaming her. She can finally feel at peace there in that tranquil silent place wherein she can spend the rest of her not-so-life with her comrades.

There was something missing. Hange had been spending a few days now there in the afterlife but something was missing. She cannot fathom the feeling of emptiness and sorrow but there it was, why was it there. Why is it that at the back of her non existent beating heart there was a voice calling out her name in agony. She then felt a surging pain on her left temple followed ny her arms and back. The urge to scream was too strong and yet she couldn’t. She couldn’t ask or scream for rescue. She tried reaching out to her dead comrades but they all just stared at her in solitude. She tried reaching out to Erwin’s hand but he just gave her a sullen and knowing smile, something she had grown accustomed to. The warm sullen smile of his comrade who was now letting go of her hand to kick her back into her reality.

The agonizing painful moment of silence wherein Hange Zoe realized that she was alive and barely breathing. The pain in her back keeps growing stronger and stronger and the screams of Gabi and Annie were muffled by the long deafening ringing in her ear.

There was a name, there it was the agonizing pain in her heart it wasn’t just a voice it was his. It was Levi’s. What was she even thinking trying to find peace in an own realm she created for herself.What was she even thinking leaving Levi all alone when all he had was her and all she had was him.

Everything was just blurry she cannot even decipher which was real and which was her imagination,all she knew was she was flying with Gabi yelling her name while Annie tries to bandage her burnt back that is far from being healed. Maybe this was her imagination as well, there was no way she would be flying right at that very moment because the reason of her death was solely for the flying boat to fly. But there she was being held by Gabi and Annie as they screamed out her name. It doesn’t even matter all she knew and all she could ever think of was the person whom she left. The person who dedicated his heart to her and vice versa. She could only laugh with a fitting cough as she miserably tried to ease the pain of her burning back. Then everything went black.

The next thing Hange knew there was a battle on going already. Who wins and who loses it does not even matter anymore wether it be them or Eren or the Marleyans or the world it does not even matter anymore. As she opened her eye and see through the horizon there he was. Riding a flying titan while here she is being held by Onyankopon. The rumbling had stopped everything was just in shambles and there he was silver orb staring at her own brown one. She does not even know if Levi lost his other eye as well or if the others were fine all she knew at that moment was that returning was the right choice. She does not need the eternal tranquility when right there at that moment of chaos everything just seemed to fall right into place he was there and alive and so was she and that’s all that mattered. Nothing else did it was just Levi and her and the two of them staying alive for each other.

---------------------------------------------------

Hange does not even remember when the war ended, or if it already ended all she knew and remember was Levi’s right arm reaching out to her and her taking it then everything just went black. She immediately rose from where she was laying and pain immediately resurfaced from her back. It felt like it was burning again and it was just really painful. She immediately reached out for her glasses that was at the bedside table when Yelena entered right at the moment.

“Hey, Hange you’re awake.” The blonde said as she placed a cup of water beside her then later on helped her drank it.

“Thanks Yelena.” She said as she looked far away. “Where are the others?”She asked as she continued sipping from her cup. “Where’s Levi?” Again, she asked as panic ate her whole system.

“Fine. They are fine Jean and the others were all still healing as they try to fix the damage of the rumbling. If there even is anymore to recover.” The blonde said with a scoff as she looked faraway. She looked different,tired and empty.

“Your Levi is resting as well. He’s just in the room next to yours. He was so beaten up that I don’t think he will ever fully recover.” The blonde stated still looking in a far distance.

“What happened? How did we all end up here?” Hange asked again to gain Yelena’s attention.

“You don’t remember? Falco’s titan grew tired and fell, luckily all of you who were riding it was okay. Pieck and the others are fine as well. Reiner is still recovering alongside the other shifters.”

“And, Eren? Where is he? What happened to him? Is he okay? Did you get to him? Did you manage to capture him? Was he safe along with the others?” Yelena looked at Hange dumbfounded. Eren was the sole reason why she nearly died and here she was asking about his whereabouts and conditions.

Yelena just raised her head up and looked into the ceiling while shooking her head no. It was more than enough of an explanation. There was no need for further elaborating about where Eren was and how he was. Yelena’s sullen expression was more than enough for Hange to understand and for tears to well in her eyes, because in all honesty she had raised Eren even if only for just a few years. She created a bond with Eren and it breaks her heart to see him that way. Maybe, they will never now what his sole reason is. Maybe, it was just for him to know and for them to never find out. It doesn’t matter anymore. She shook her head, wiped her tears and looked up into the window staring at the bright horizon, with an empty wish that hopefully wherever Eren is he had reached the freedom that he is fighting for.

------------------------------------------------------------

It has been three days since Hange had gained consciousness. She have been visiting Levi’s room from time to time tending to his wounds. Her wounds still hurts as hell but being with Levi, it just somehow lessens. She stared as his face as she wiped the towel down ro clean his wounds. There was nothing wrong with,minus the wounds nevertheless Hange felt guilty, of trying to leave him when he needed her most. For trying to escape from all of her responsibilities and just be there in that tranquil solitude with her comrades. She felt guilty for trying to leave him alone in chaos when the world was in shambles and there she was trying to hold on to the solitude that she probably created for herself. How selfish of her. She heald Levi’s knuckles close to her face and leaned into it before heading out and speaking to Jean and the others.

“Hange! What brought you here aren’t you supposed to be resting? You can barely walk.” Jean said as he guided Hange to the sofa in their shared room with Reiner and Connie as well as Falco. We are still trying to see what we can fix. The other Eldians from Paradis also flew here to help with what they can to rebuild Marley. Afterall, not long after Historia gave birth through the help of the scouts and alliance that Hange built Historia is working with a truce with all the people around their world. To avoid impending wars and such.

“I want to build something.In the forest, near the sea, just a small cottage. Just enough for two people.” Hange said as she fidgeted with her makeshift clutches.

“It does not have to be perfect, just enough to be able to live comfortably in it.” She went on as she explained what she wanted to build. In a span of two weeks do you think you can finish it? Hange asked as she picked her clutches and held the two boys by their shoulders and smiled. The two boys shocked their heads in disbelief then agreed with what she wanted.

---------------------------------------------------------

Levi awakened with a sickening pain throbbing in his head. He felt like it was being broken into half. He does not even remembered when was the last time he was awake all he knew was that his body was aching. He checked his body for any signs of bleedings or injuries, turns out they were almost completely healed. He tried sitting up when suddenly Gabi and Falco entered his room to bring him some water.

“Mr. Levi!” Falco shouted in panic as he grabbed the bottle of water from Gabi and went to Levi’s side to allow him to drink.

“You’ve been out for more than a month Captain. Everyone else was already up and about. Reiner and Pieck are helping in rebuilding Marley, or what’s left of it. Mikasa and the others are building whatever they were working on.” Gabi rambled as she carefully placed pillows at the back of Levi.

Levi just stared at the two of them. The others were alive and well and he was the only one who had not awoken for more than a month. Him, humanity’s strongest soldier, took the longest time to recover, what was wrong with him. He started having flashbacks of the previous memories of him when he stopped at his tracks. He stared at the two kids in front of him. Where was she, he was so sure that he was reaching out to her before Falco’s titan came crashing down. He was sure it was her. He will never forget those brown orb afterall. Levi noticed something about his vision as well. He can still see from both eyes, although the other one was really blurry and barely functioning but it can still recognize figures.

“Hange? Where was Hange?” He asked, afraid that they will give him an answer that will break his heart again.

“She was with Jean,Mikasa and the others, they were trying to build something we’re not really sure what it is though, just that it’s-” Gabi immediately kicked Falco in his legs when he was about to continue.

“Won’t you shut up! You’re just going to ruin everything!” She yelled as she pushed Falco out of Levi’s room while waving Levi goodbye and rambling on about training and things.

Three weeks have flew by faster and Levi could already feel himself regaining his strength. Everyone already visited him. Everyone except her. She was nowhere to be found. There was even no news about her. Whenever he would ask about her they would just shrug their shoulders and change the topic about how they are working on the truce. Or they will just simply answer ‘she’s fine’ or ‘she’s doing well’ like it’s something that is going to ease his mind that easily. Every single day that he was not seeing her his anxiety just grew larger and larger. What if she really did not survive and they were just lying for his sake. What if he was just hallucinating and the others were just going through with his craziness. He abruptly stood up thinking that it was enough and that he had to see her for the sake of his sanity.

He was about to go to Jean’s quarters when Gabi came in bringing a rolled up paper that looked like a map.

“Hey! Someone tasked me to give you this!” GAbi said as she immediately ran out of the door. Levi stared at the piece of paper. It was a map. At the side of the map was a tiny scribble with a note that says ‘meet me here’. There was no name or signature but he knows too damn well who wrote it. He felt his heart beating loudly with just the sight of her scribbles. He immediately took his bag and began travelling. With his condition riding a horse is no big deal already. That is why he immediately took off to go to the said place. The place was suprisingly near. Just a three hour ride from a horse to there and it will be quicker if he had used the innovative car that the Marleyans and the others used.

The forest looked peaceful and serene seems like the part of the forest where his travellung at did not get damaged by the rumbling. It was also near the sea and it brings solitude to his mind. Soon, he already reached the said cottage. IT was a very simple cottage,just enough for 2 or 4 people to live in. It was neat as well and there were fruits,vegetables and flowers growing outside the garden. He immediately reached out for the door knob, heart reaching in his throat he carefully twisted the knob. Nervous and panic, anxious of what he will really find there. Finally he succeeded in opening the door. He didn’t dare to look straight, he did not want to get disappointed immediately. Lucky for him he wasn’t, because right there was the love of his life, the person whom he dedicated his heart for. His other half. Smiling at him tears brimming in her eyes as she looked at him with her beautiful brown orb.

“Hange.” It was like a whisper, he did not know to whom he was calling to. He felt his legs buckle and he fell on his knees. Hange as well let go of her crutches as she held on to him. Levi who was holding tightly to Hange just kept on calling her name as he held he body tighter to his. In return, Hange had muttered a series of apologies for being selfish and trying to leave him alone. They just stared right there on the floor just holding on to each other muttering apologies and promises that only they will know and remember.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was selfish wanted to escape. I wanted to be free so I left. I’m sorry” Hange continuously said as she buried her face on Levi’s shoulder. Levi in return just stroked her hair as he continuously try to calm her and saying that he was forgiving her.

Soon there were no more tears left to cry and they just sat there in the silence, just the two of them feeling each others warmth. Levi tried to touch Hange’s back when she flinched because some of the burns haven’t dried up yet.

“Sorry.” Levi muttered while Hange just smiled at him and laced her head on his shoulder again. “Does it hurt?” Levi asked as he carefully traced her back.

“No, just sometimes. How about yours?” she asked as she carefully touched his damage eye softly with her fingers the reaching out to place a sullen kiss into it.

“No it doesn’t hurt anymore” he stated as he continued stroking her hair.

“What’s the purpose of this place Hange?” He asked as he stared at her. “I told you that we will live in the forest. I made myself a promise as well that I would run away with you once we both survived, and we did. Welcome to our new home, Levi. That is if you accept.” She explained and stated with a small and embarrassed smile.

“You know I can’t say no to you right four eyes?” He stated as he smiled lovingly at her and reached out to her face. There were no more need for confessions. The two of them already knows it. No more words was to be said for what they have was something that not everybody could have. For what they had was a chance and a miracle.

#levihan #anime #fanfics #commission #levi ackerman #commander hanji #hange zoe #signal boost #attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin fanart #eremin #eremika #jearmin #yumihisu #jean kirstein #reader insert #aot manga #original character

102 notes · View notes

twintailedcryptid · 3 years

Text

How The Hideout Got It’s Name

Description: A short oneshot exploring the night that the mekatrio moved into the hideout from Kido’s perspective, thinking that this is somehow their father’s fault ec.

content warnings: Referenced physical abuse & suicide

Notes: Hi ahdiogu this is pretty old now but I’m moving from the hell site that is ao3 so i wanted to post what I had posted already here.

Unpacked boxes littered the barren room when the three siblings finally retired. They were exhausted from the day’s turmoil and from the task of lugging multiple boxes up several flights of stairs. In the moment they regretted bringing so many of their things but they all knew that they would be grateful for the added effort when they needed to take comfort in what little they still could claim for themselves. Even the little things, like old stuffed toys or a beloved book, would offer them the strength and solace they needed to continue on, and that is why when they were dragging a hand-truck of boxes up the stairs together that none of them had complaints as to what the others had deemed necessary to bring.

Finally done, Kano kicked off his shoes and took a few steps before nearly jumping. “The floor’s so cold!” he declared, a slight mix of dismay and amazement in his tone, as though he were impressed with the floor for being cold.

“It’s an abandoned building in November, what do you expect?” Kido asked tiredly before following suit and shuddering slightly as her socks made contact with the floor.

“Ah, that’s right…” He heaved a sigh. “I want to ragdoll but it’ll make me colder…”

“I’ll get the blankets then,” Seto said from behind them. “We left them in the rental.”

“I’ll go with you!” Kido said, her face falling with guilt at the idea of making her brother walk back outside alone in the dark.

“No, stay there okay? It’s fine!”

He left before they had the chance to object and Kido heaved a sigh, sitting down on the floor and not minding the cold. She had other reasons for wanting them to stick together, entirely unpleasant ones that amounted to their safety. Not only that but she didn’t want to be alone with Kano right now, already feeling tense in the awkward silence as Kano followed suit and sat down a little ways away from her.

The worry and guilt from the past two months weighed down on her as she glanced in his direction and then back down to the floor again. He’d been a lot quieter lately, almost the way he had been at the facility over half a decade ago. This time she knew that it was because there was a lot he wasn’t telling them, a lot that she supposed he was afraid to say.

She’d known right away something was wrong when he came home with bruises, on the night of Ayano’s death no less. He’d tried to hide them but like the faint handprints on either side of his neck, she had noticed them. When she asked about them he froze up and looked half ready to sob but simply said it didn’t matter anymore before isolating himself in his room. She’d been confused then, well no, she’d had her suspicions but she’d chosen to ignore them because she was a coward and that was her current guilt to harbor. Still, there was no denying what had happened when he began to flinch up around their father.

She should have noticed sooner, then maybe she could have stopped it all from happening. Her mother's death, Ayano's suicide, and her brother's abuse all could have been prevented if someone had noticed. And yet here she was, despite all the evidence hoping that maybe she had it all wrong. Maybe she was too quick to judge her own father for a bunch of different things and yet here they were, running away from him at Kano's suggestion. Surely, that could only lead to one thing.

She was just a coward in the end.

"Hey," Kano's voice was quiet as he stared over at her. "You okay?"

Before tears could sting her eyes she nodded and slid her hands into her pockets, staring down at her lap and pressing her lips together tightly. "Yeah…"

She breathed a heavy sigh and continued, not daring to look up again, her gaze feeling just as heavy as the rest of her. "I know you're not ready to talk about it...I'm not ready yet either…but…"

She didn't even know what she should say, she never was good with words, that was always his specialty. She searched and searched but nothing suitable- nothing that did this horrible series of events proper justice- was coming to mind so instead, her voice shook and she finally looked up at him.

Her brother- less than a year older but possibly far more mature than she could ever be- was staring at her in concern just like he had been for months. Like always, he thought of everyone before himself and had no time to care about it.

She took a trembling breath and came closer, taking both his hands into her own. "Can you tell me if you're going to be okay?"

His face softened but he could see the pain behind the expression as she began to cry a little. He sighed and carefully pulled her into a hug, letting her cry quietly into his shoulder. He rested a hand on her head to smooth out her hair and for a long while he said nothing.

Finally, he spoke up softly. "Have you been worried about me this whole time?"

"Of course you idiot! I've always been worried." Her voice didn't have any real bite to it as she clung to him. "Now say it! Say you'll be okay so we can make it happen!"

He chuckled lightly but tears were streaming down his cheeks when he nodded. "Twist my arm why don't you? But seriously, yeah, I'll be okay, okay?"

The door opened just then, causing them both to flinch up but of course, it was only Seto. Kido carefully pulled away to wipe her eyes as Seto stared awkwardly in concern a moment before sighing and shutting the door behind him, making sure to lock it.

“Okay...We can make this work,” she said, more to reassure herself than anything before she stood to help Seto with the blankets.

Together, they piled the blankets and pillows onto the floor directly next to each other and then snuggled up to fight the cold of the new, rather unfriendly looking, place that they would now call their home. They wanted to go to sleep immediately, to wake up in a time and place where they could feel happy again, but in the dark with nothing but a dim flashlight propped against the wall to keep their bearings, they felt more vulnerable than ever and could not sleep.

“Are you sure this place isn’t haunted?” Kido asked in a whisper, not to any brother in particular.

“I didn’t have much time to case the place, sorry Tsubomi…” Kano passed up teasing her because he pretty clearly wasn’t in the mood either.

“Well, if we encounter any ghosts I’m sure they’ll be totally understanding,” she replied in gentle sarcasm.

“Maybe the ghosts will be nice,” Seto reasoned. “If they’re people who have already died then maybe… well we know people who have died and they were nice.”

“We’ve known evil people who have died too,” Kido pointed out, referring to her biological father but she left this up to interpretation. “I hope ghosts aren’t real though...I’d like to think that… well that they’re somewhere better right now...and not watching this dismal display.”

Seto swallowed and stared up at the ceiling sadly. “Yeah...I hope so too… I think this would make them cry…”

They were silent for a little while and then Seto spoke up in a whisper again. “Do you think they’ve found each other already?”

Kido tried to imagine it, Ayano and their mother reunited in some sort of afterlife or resting place, it was a comforting thought to some degree but on the other the thought of it made her want to scream. Why were they gone? Why was she left to huddle in the dark with her siblings like castaways when she’d been so sure that their troubles ended their last day in the facility? She loathed it entirely, she wanted to scream, cry, lash out, do whatever it took to bring them all back to a good timeline again. Instead, she forced the beginnings of a smile for her brother’s sake and nodded. “I’m sure of it…”

“If they can they have…” Kano said it with such certainty that it gave Kido a pause but she dismissed it as being Kano’s optimistic nature.

Some time passed and they managed to fall asleep for a few hours, then they heard a noise and all jolted awake, ready to fight some unknown attacker or beg a ghost for mercy, only to find after doing a quick search of the apartment that it was still empty. As they shivered and returned to their pile of blankets, Kido ran her hands over her torso and stretched, groaning. “I can’t stand this.”

She felt ready to cry but Kano smiled a little. “At least we won’t be woken up for breakfast at six in the morning.”

“And we aren’t in the monster room…” Seto added helpfully.

Kido just groaned again. “Don’t remind me…” She laughed dryly then. “You’re right, now we’re in the monster apartment.”

“I don’t like the sound of it…” Seto whined as he laid back down and the others joined him.

“What did you say our group name was again, Kano?”

“Ah fuck...what was it? Uhhhhhhh…Oh right. We’re the Mekakushi Dan.”

“Fine, Mekakushi apartment it is then,” she said dryly.

“Isn’t that kind of a mouthful though?” Seto asked meekly.

“Is it?”

After a few moments of silence, Kano announced quietly, “Hideout. We’ll call it the hideout.”

The others agreed with this and then started to fall asleep again but Kano’s words struck her. That really was what they were doing now, wasn’t it? Hiding from their own father, their mother and sister dead, the three of them orphans again. They even went back to calling each other by their old surnames again, just like they had at the facility. Just like that everything they had, all the happiness they had built was dashed away again.

Here they were back at square one but this time around that square seemed a lot less charming.

Still, as dismal as everything was now, she took a deep breath in and reminded herself; She was happy once, happy twice, and if they survived this they could learn to feel that joy again. She’d only have to wait and see.

#kagepro #kido tsubomi #kano shuuya #seto kousuke #im just tagging so it'll be searchable im kinda embarrassedby this for some reason #maybe bc it's old ahdiofugdfg #there's nothing rlly wrong with it tho i just have cringe brain disease #abuse tw #suicide tw

7 notes · View notes

unlockthelore · 4 years

Text

Reason

On the dawn of a new day, Rin finds it impossible to sleep.

From the series Affections Touching Across Time on Ao3, and part of the It Takes A Village fic. For more updates, follow the affections touching across time tag on this blog. For more of this fic, follow the it takes a village tag.

The night seemed to stretch on for eternity. Crickets chirping in the tall grass, a vast endless sky glittering with stars, a moon rounded and bright shining down upon her. For the umpteenth night in a row, she wished the crescent moon would come in place of the full moon — and never once did she wish for the new moon, lest it give certain individuals trouble. Though at least, if she closed her eyes long enough and drank in the night’s ambience beneath its glow, she could almost pretend the shadow she adored was there with her.

Alas, it was a pipe dream and once Rin opened her eyes, her solitary shadow stretched long before her. Tears might have stung her eyes if she were a few years younger, loneliness crushing the fluttering heart within her chest, but she’d grown. Grown past the helplessness and fear of being left behind.

Yet, if asked what she feared now, she was hesitant to even burden herself with the thought.

So consumed in thought, Rin barely heard the rickety creaking and crackling footsteps behind her as someone neared. A warm gnarled hand resting heavily on her shoulder turns her toward the weary aging face of Kaede. With the years wearing upon her, grayed hair lightened to an almost bone white and tanned skin creased by time told the length of time she’d been alive — betraying death again and again. Concern and care show within her remaining eye and the gentle kneading of her fingers against Rin’s shoulders, shifting the silk of her yukata and tenderly brushing through the length of her hair.

“Why are ye still awake, child?” Kaede asks softly, though her voice lacks any indignation or reprimand. Her hands caressing Rin’s shoulders in a manner that almost begets a hug but Kaede makes no move to pull her closer nor does Rin pull away.

Touch had been a sensitive thing for some years. Despite her respect for her elders, her willingness to trust adults was gradually built upon. Kaede had earned her trust and more. Breathing in deeply, the chill night air pricks her lungs with icy tendrils grasping at her heart, carefully easing their hold as she exhales. Kaede waits patiently as Rin breathes until her hands no longer tremble and the buzzing of the fireflies isn’t all she can focus upon.

Rin sighs feelingly, smoothing clammy palms against the sides of her yukata. “I’m sorry, Kaede-sama, I… couldn’t sleep.”

The hesitation hardens Kaede’s expression but not with anger or disappointment but understanding.

“Come along, child.” With a light pat to Rin’s shoulder and a hand resting at the crook of her elbow, Kaede led her inside. “It’s cold and ye will need your strength for tomorrow.”

Tomorrow. Rin’s eyes flutter shut for a moment and she hopes that it’s interpreted as soaking in the warmth of the fire burning in the hearth, or relief at being found at her lowest. Despite the burning ache in her chest at being seen. No stranger to comfort, she tried not to rely too heavily on the kindness of others. Her own feet may tremble but they were strong. If she couldn’t rely on herself, then how could she help to do anything further?

The steadying weight of Kaede’s hand rests on her shoulder, warm and grounding. In spite of her age, Kaede’s strength hasn’t lessened just yet and she guides Rin effortlessly to one of the cushions set near the hearth. And with her tiredness and the storm raging in her mind, Rin found herself helpless to follow the cajoling.

Kneeling on the cushion with her hands resting in her lap, her muscles that’d been protesting from the cold now aching as her body tried to soak in the warmth. Across the room, Kaede flits. Clinking of jars and shifting pots scarcely draw more than a raised brow from Rin until the older woman’s gentle smoky voice resounds from the other side of the flames. Gazing into coppery-orange embers, Rin blinks away the dots forming at the edge of her vision as a sweet smell fills the room. Her mouth running dry and tongue pressing to the inside of her cheek as she lifts her gaze to Kaede.

“When I was a young girl, my sister would often catch me wandering the fields when I couldn’t sleep,” Kaede said, setting two mugs aside as she ended to the pot hooked over the flame. The sweet scent wafting from its opening. “Strict as she might have been, she was very kind to me.”

Rin felt the need to say something at those words. Knowing how difficult it was for Kaede to speak of her sister. Opening her mouth and closing it, themes she could bring herself to do was gape. Memories of an impending death with an arrow narrowly missing the tips of her hair and embedding in the chest of her would-be murderer, the cool and empty stare of the woman who plunged the arrow in his chest. Her strides, confident and sure, but with a grace that was unearthly.

Such moments weren’t easily forgotten and when Rin could summon the words, she muttered softly. “Kikyo-sama was kind to me as well.”

Despite her lack of cheer or acknowledgement, thanks was all that Rin could bestow upon her as some deep-seated twisting in her stomach was swallowed down to follow after the shadow she’d always known. The corner of Kaede’s lips twitched as if she wanted to smile but suppressed it knowingly, removing the pot and setting it aside to cool. Rin’s eyes followed it thoughtfully, and hearing the elder priestess’ laughter, her cheeks warmed and she averted her gaze.

“Yes,” Kaede said, sighing. “I suppose in the depths of her soul, my sister’s kindness was such a force that not even death and betrayal could overwhelm it.”

Rin’s fingers curled into fists, catching on the fabric of her yukata and pulling it taut. It hadn’t occurred other at the time of what Kikyo’s face had been. Yet, in her heart, she knew that Kikyo could not be alive. There was something about her that simply wasn’t right. And Rin prayed even now that her soul was in peace in the afterlife.

From over the fire, they shared a look. Kaede’s eye searching over Rin’s person while Rin’s own lingered on Kaede’s remaining eye to find the depth of what she felt.

Eventually, the stillness was broken by Kaede dipping one of the mugs into the pot, lifting it and sloshing the liquid around. “And I believe if she still had need of it, her love for sweets would have remained as well.”

“Kikyo-sama loved sweets?”

“Terribly so.” Kaede’s chuckle was equally bitter and mirthful, her gaze lingering on the mug’s rim as she cleaned the frothing golden liquid from it. “Why, I believe she indulged more than I did, although I was happy to give her what I could of my own.”

Rin sighed, accepting the mug when it was offered to her. Inhaling the sweet scent easing the knots in her stomach and reminding her of the weariness in her bones. “It smells sweet.”

“Warm honey milk,” Kaede stated proudly. “Does the trick for the restless soul.”

Restless. Glancing down at her faint reflection in the golden concoction, Rin wondered if that was the right word for her. Was it restlessness that drew her to stand outside in the chill of night and wish for the moon’s phase to change? To see a glimmer of the shadow dipping beneath the clouds and into the trees only to emerge with a single goal — to see her. Whether that shadow carried gifts neatly folded for her to marvel over, or simply came bare-handed with nothing but a quiet word and a fleeting smile, Rin cared not.

The sweet scent interrupted her thoughts, nestling deep within her mind and Rin tried to remain in the present. “Thank you.”

With a dismissive wave the hand and a shake of the head, Kaede said. “No need for that child, pray, tell me what bothers ye.”

Cold hardened Rin’s tongue but warm saccharine melted it, loosening it considerably before she could think to restrain it.

“Dreams…” Rin said, voice trailing off as she hesitated to press further.

Glancing her over carefully, Kaede hums. “Nightmares?” She corrects gently, gracious enough to ignore when Rin almost flinches as if given a blow to the head. “… Of the other side?”

It is a long stretch of silence between them. Sipping of warm honey milk bitters on Rin’s tongue, every blink reminding her of what awaited on the other side. Time mattered not to the dead. Attempting to understand how long it is she spent there was a fool’s game. Regardless, her childhood self counted the seconds with songs of grandeur with a single name upon her lips to give comfort. Rin worried the rim of her mug between her lips, slick with milk, so thick she hoped the words would be caught upon them and carried off.

Kaede shuffled on the other side of the flames, coaxing them to burn brighter she tossed bits of wood into the hearth. Her hand rested heavily upon her knee with the faintest twitch in her knuckles. A sure sign of wanting to reach out but withholding.

“I heard of what happened to ye,” Kaede intoned, her voice gentle and without pity. Twisting apprehension riddled Rin’s gut slowly loosening. Pity, she could do without, and Kaede seemed to understand. “Ye have wandered upon death’s doorstep more oft than a child should. Any soul would quake beneath knowing what lies on the other side.”

“I don’t fear what is on the other side, Kaede-sama.” Rin interjected, setting the mug against her thigh, heat too cool to scald pressing against clinging silk. Her opposite hand resting upon its side, brushing against the splintering wood and brittle metal idly. “I wanted to do this for myself. None other…”

Kaede didn’t respond. She lifted her head higher and despite Rin’s growing stature, in moments such as this, Kaede towered over her in matters of presence and wisdom than height. Her eye gleamed in the low light. No sooner would her gaze cloud than her sight lose its keeness. Rin stared back impassively, her grip on her mug loosening as she lifted it to her lips, taking another sip. The lines around Kaede’s mouth deepened as her lips upturned, a throaty chuckle both somber and mild breaking the silence.

“Sesshomaru wanted ye to learn how it is to live among humans but… Rin, have you reconciled with the fact that ye are alive?”

Rin felt her throat constrict. Her heart stammered in beating and the restless energy thrumming beneath her skin rushed with nowhere to go. Blood pounded in her ears and she pressed her lips together, lest her heart try to escape her chest. Wind howled against the rooftop, wooden beams groaning and coppery flames crackling. Shadows cast upon Kaede’s features only made her good eye gleam in the low light as she tipped her chin back, raising her own mug to sip.

She didn’t want to tell her. Of the faces which plagued her mind in the depths of night, ones she should recall and did but dreaded to linger upon. Long hours beneath silvery moonlight asking naught but the shadow in her mind what it is that death had taken from her or given unwarrantedly. Whether it be memories she’d tucked deep in her chest, resurfacing as a parting gift, or warnings.

There were so many faces. So many deaths.And yet, time and time again, he wished to spare her life. Desire gnawed at her and Rin swallowed it down with another mouthful of honey.

“… He is the reason I am alive,” Rin managed to say, the words grating at her throat and burning her tongue, honey doing little to help soothe or help their slide.

Kaede shook her head. “Nay, child.” Her brows creased, wrinkles in her forehead deepening. “Sesshomaru would not have returned you to life, nor would Tenseiga have responded if not for your effect on his heart.” Then with a slight mutter that was almost too nonchalant for Rin to catch, she said. “Though I doubted it beat in his chest. Ye have proven me wrong.”

If she had been a few years younger, Rin might have defended Sesshomaru’s heart to the last. But she was a child no longer. Even she could see the daiyoukai’s heartlessness or at least the facade of it that he wore. Mustering a tired chuckle, Rin shook her head. “Kaede-sama…”

Kaede chuckled mirthfully, and Rin couldn’t help but join her. Finding it easier to breathe once a few choked laughs slipped past her lips and prickling wetness rolled from the corners of her eye. If Kaede notices, she says nothing. Allowing Rin to gather herself once their laughter died, and the hearth’s flame began to diminish, shadows stretching long.

“You are why you are alive, Rin,” Kaede insisted, and Rin hummed softly. Neither confirming or denying. “Sesshomaru had the means to return you to the world of the living, but it was with your heart that he was swayed to do so.”

Rin hummed once again. Thinking back on it, she couldn’t tell what it is that she’d done to sway him so. True, she was grateful for it. Their paths had intersected and she was happy for every day that she could walk alongside him. Her apprehension grew as they washed the mugs, cleaned the cinders from the hearth and prepared for bed. Kaede’s hand resting over Rin’s own before they parted to their respective bedding, calloused palms brushing against softened skin, as if searching for wounds invisible to the eye.

“Pray, child. Ye have suffered enough, and endured worse…” In the dim, it was easier to avoid the knowing of Kaede’s eye when Rin closed her own but the words washed over her, just as the elderly priestess’ assurances resurfaced memories long buried. “The life ye had was hard-won and not by one man’s hands alone. If not for yer own sake, whose sake is it that ye live?”

Faces, gaunt and appraising, lingered in the darkness behind her eyes. They reached for her, implored her, asked her the same. For whose sake did she live? For what reason did she live?

Rin had no answer for them or Kaede. With a soft call of goodnight, they separated and Rin tucked herself beneath the comforter with her pillow nestled tightly to her cheek. Tomorrow, her life would begin anew and she yearned for the dawn.

#inuyasha #rin #kaede #fanfiction #my fanfiction #affections touching across time #it takes a village

3 notes · View notes

pellicano-sanguino · 5 years

Text

Now that Kurenai Yuzuru's taidan is drawing closer, I wanted to write something short about some of the roles she's done that I have fond memories of.

These are mostly from Reon's era, since most of my Hoshigumi shows are from that time. I need to see more shows from Kurenai's own top star run.

Mercutio from Romeo&Juliette 2010

This was the first zuka show I saw, and still my favourite show to this day. I could go into all the details about how I love this musical, but now I'm just going to mention the casting. It was perfect. Everyone got a role that fit their acting style perfectly. Kurenai was a natural Mercutio, the best one I've ever seen. She nailed Merkku's immaturity, playfulness and – most importantly in my opinion – his recklessness.

Memorable scenes are Mercutio's song number when he tempts his Montague buddies to go with him to crash the Capulet's party, him and the boys bullying Nurse, confronting Romeo after hearing the news about his wedding (I was quite shocked to see Mercutio threaten Romeo with honor violence, claiming he's going to slit his throat if he won't give up Juliette) and the fight scene followed by Mercutio's death including a final song of ”goodbye friends and PLAGUE ON BOTH YOUR HOUSES!”

I admit, I don't usually care for it when zuka gives a dying character one final song that they sing in weak, slow voice, milking the tragedy for all the drama its worth. It often fails to be sad and just feels cheesy and soap operaish. But I found the song of dying Mercutio very touching, when I saw the scene for the first time I cried real tears. Despite the language barrier, Kurenai managed to reach to me with her voice and her acting and make me shed tears for Mercutio's death.

Sid from Officer and Gentleman

Officer and Gentleman isn't the kind of movie I'd thought would get a zuka adaptation and yet it exists. Zuka is very clearly targeted for women and this movie is more for the male audience. I know it has a romance and is therefore regarded as a love story but in my opinion this flick is more like a coming-of-age story about the character growth the male lead goes through (also, it oozes toxic masculinity, a thing more common in films for men). Anyway, the zuka version is actually a pretty good show. Ouki Kaname totally steals every scene she's in. But today I'm here to talk about Kurenai.

Kurenai is probably best known for her talent in comedy. Sometimes I've heard people say that's the only kind of shows she should do and that always made me sad, because Kurenai isn't a one trick pony trapped to do only one character type. I have been very impressed at her talent in playing sensitive men. Many otokoyaku roles rely on strong and cool male image, but Kurenai sometimes gets roles that let her show emotions, the men she plays are allowed to be vulnerable. Sid is one of these. Sid is young and a bit naive and makes stupid decisions, but when he thinks he's done a mistake, he is ready to take responsibility of it. The scene where he goes to propose Lynette breaks my heart every time. That look on his face when he finds out he's been lied to, it just hits me right in the feels. There is something so naturally charming and lovable in Kurenai that seeing her characters get hurt makes me feel awful. Like, no, don't do this to her!

Karenin from Anna Karenina

I have not read this book, but its one of my mother's favourites, so we watched this show together and she pointed me all the things that she thought zuka had adapted well and the parts that they had changed. She was especially impressed with Kurenai's Karenin. According to my mother, the character of Karenin is often done quite poorly in other adaptations of the book, he is often portrayed as just a onesided, simple man who's a little dumb and doesn't have much depth of character. Much like Sid, Kurenai's Karenin is allowed to show his emotions and not be just a boring, stoic figure who reacts to his wife's affair with mild disinterest. There is kindness in Karenin, it's not always easy to see, but it's there. He lost his own parents and a brother that was dear to him, and because he remembers how horrible it is to be alone and lose your family, he adopts Anna's and Vronsky's child, not wanting her to be left alone.

Antonio from Tale of Coimbra

I have opinions concerning this show. Namely, I think it misses a golden opportunity to put the zuka trope of reunion of lovers in the afterlife to proper use. Big part of the Coimbra legend are the coffins of Pedro and Inez being placed so that when they rise in Doomsday, the first thing they see is each others' faces. And zuka just had to go and twist the story so that Inez doesn't die (and they don't even get a happy ending despite that! Poor Pedro, he just can't win.). Also, very, very disappointed at the lack of Corpse Queen and tearing out assassin-Makaze's heart with a line ”You broke my heart, therefore you have none!”

Ahem. Sorry about the rant. Anyway, Kurenai is in this musical. He plays a guy named Antonio, who is... umm... I think a pirate or a robber or something along those lines. The group of robbers/pirates gets made into scapegoats for Inez's murder, and Pedro, Pimenta, assassin-Makaze and some soldiers mercilessly slaughter them all. Kurenai's role gets very little stage time, but I wanted to mention this role, because I was very impressed with her stage swordplay skills. I don't know if I should credit the director for this, or if Kurenai did some research of her own, but her legwork is strong and sometimes I can even identify the poses she makes as part of real swordplay moves.

Warrior seeking to fight with Reon, from Takarazuka Floral Dance Scrolls

This is my favourite nihonmono revue. The music, the dancing and the costumes are all great. In one of the numbers Kurenai plays a warrior who doesn't get along with another warrior, played by Reon. I don't know what their beef is about, Kurenai just hates Reon's guts and sends ninjas to ambush him when he's spending time flirting with local ladies. Reon being Reon, he defeats all the ninjas and makes a daring escape with courtesan-Nene. They are heading towards a river, intending to ride a boat to safety, but by the riverside Kurenai confronts them. Holding his sword he opens his arms like inviting Reon for a hug. Come at me bro! And so they fight, doing the samurai slash thing where time freezes after they've struck at each other and then the one who lost slowly falls. The one who falls is Kurenai, and Reon and Nene proceed to their romantic boatride.

This number has left an impression on me, because I think the nihonmono look suits Kurenai really well. She made a very handsome and cool-looking warrior.

Shibata Rihito from Mei-chan's Butler

Takarazuka and shoujo manga have walked hand in hand since the days of BeruBara Boom and even before, inspiring each other. Every now and then zuka does a show based on a manga. This one, unfortunately, is based on a manga I have never read and therefore I had no idea what was going on during most of this musical. But I still found it rather entertaining (the prop work sure was something different, with weird video projections, shadow theater and parachuting puppets). I admit, the many colourful side characters steal the show from Kurenai quite often, being wilder and weirder than her character is. I will have to give special mention to Makaze's evil butler, I love it when Makaze plays villains. But at the end, this is Kurenai's show. She was a very dashing butler.

Memorable scenes include a weird, artsy, dream-like interpretive dance scene where the shadow theater is put to good use for * symbolism *.

Because I haven't read the manga, I have no idea what is going on here. My bet is on drugs.

Also among the memorable scenes is the fencing. I still think Kurenai is pretty good with a sword.

I need to come up with name for this trope, where the opponents lock their swords for a while to glare at each other and chat.

Bourguignon from Second Fortuitous Meeting

Many zuka comedies are wasted on me because so many of the jokes are language based and I still don't understand much Japanese. But this one I liked very much. Admittedly, I got to read a translation once, so this time I got the jokes, but even ignoring the spoken jokes, it's just a really fun show. Every character was fantastic, Kurenai's role as a manservant forced to fake being his own master included. Her talent in comedy is very strong, she masters small things like the tone of her voice, the expressions of her face and simple bodylanguage and makes her character absolutely hilarious. I have noticed that one character pair zuka shows tend to have is pairing a cool and serious master with a sassy, loud, no-filter-between-brains-and-mouth servant, who works as a comedic relief softening the seriousness of their master. In a show like Second Fortuitous Meeting, where everyone is sassy, loud and has no filter between brains and mouth, Kurenai needs to tone her comedy up quite a bit so that Bourguignon will appear even funnier than his master.

Most memorable scene is Bourguignon sitting down in protest like a misbehaving infant when Dorante demands they leave.

This show got a sequel. It was just as fun as the first one, even though this time I had no translation and so had very little clue what was going on. Something involving a pumpkin thief.

Beniko and Reon's father from REON!!

Otokoyaku in drag for comedy reasons is quite a common thing in zuka, and usually I find it as amusing as real men in drag (in other words, not very). But I adore Beniko. The reason why her comedy works is that the joke isn't just putting otokoyaku in drag, Beniko is a carefully designed sketch character. Her costume, her curls that she constantly keeps shoving back over her shoulders, the way she speaks (this has to be some sort of dialect, I swear), she is just incredibly funny. I don't think I can properly explain why I find her so amusing, after all I don't even understand what she says. There's just something about Beniko that always makes me smile.

There was also a number where Reon sang about her family. Makaze and Kurenai played her parents. Makaze made a very charming Japanese beauty in her apron (I usually don't like it when they make her wear dresses, but here she looked so natural it suited her well). She had to bend her knees a little to appear shorter than Kurenai. Kurenai as Reon's father was weird looking, with thick eyebrows that made him look like a comic character. But he was a very sweet father, eagerly making faces and shaking a rattle at baby Reon, and smiling even when the fighting kids accidentally poured a tea kettle on him. I've always felt that Makaze and Kurenai had great chemistry together and seeing them play a married couple was adorable.

Gemini from Etoile de Takarazuka

Again, putting otokoyaku in drag isn't fun if you don't give her character. Well, in this revue Kurenai had to put her skills to the test by switching between two characters several times during the same number. The split-personality Gemini suffered from manic-depressive behavious.

The female side was happy and giddy and optimistic (”Everybody loves me, I'm so pretty, and so witty, I'm so gay!”)

...and the male half was gloomy and depressed and had no self-esteem (”Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms...”).

I have to respect her for managing these quick switches between otokoyaku and onnayaku, cheerful and gloomy, the changing between characters was done smoothly.

Also, I want that dress... suit... costume... thing... I want that dresssuitcostumething. I would wear it to every dance ball ever.

Frederic de Marmont from Napoleon

This show had a ton of characters, many of them quite colourful ones, and unfortunately Marmont was often left as only the observer of things happening around him (well, the story is being told by him, so it kinda fits). Nevertheless I think Kurenai was very handsome in the uniform, and I think Marmont got some important scenes. He knew Napoleon from the military school and there's a song number where he voices concern for his friend's endless thirst for more victories. In the end, he is the one who decides to surrender Paris, understanding that it's madness to keep fighting and lose more lives when losing the battle can no longer be avoided.

The part I remember Kurenai most in this show is actually from the minirevue. She dances a rather romantic dance with Makaze. I will say it again, these two had great chemistry together.

Philippe from Sun King

I know there are probably only like a handful of fans who like this show besides me, but I loved it. I've always been a sucker for French imported musicals in zuka. This show is another example of good casting, everyone gets a character that no one else would have done as well as they have. Kurenai, being the best there is at comedy, gets the comedic relief character Philippe the gay-tailed pheasant, who also shows to the audience how the royals and nobles lived in a fantasy bubble completely separated from real life. She gets three songs and she sings them well. I haven't mentioned it before now, but I really like Kurenai's voice. It's a very recognisable, charming, unique voice. I also have to show respect at how easily and naturally she wears the gaudiest costumes. This show has some really ridiculous costume designs for the nobles to show how separate they are from common folks, but Kurenai wears hers with pride. I can almost picture her looking at a costume desing and being like ”Wow that is the ugliest thing I've ever seen, when can I try it on?”

Percy Blakeney from Scarlet Pimpernel

When Reon and Nene graduated, my star also left Hoshigumi and I followed her to a new home troupe, so I haven't seen that many Hoshigumi shows after Reon's era. But when I saw that they were going to make Scarlett Pimpernel, I had to get it. I had seen Kurenai perform Percy as a shinko role and I thought she was brilliant even then.

Of course I was going to use screenshots of the fencing scene. What else did you expect?

Once when I was sick and couldn't even read books, just rest, I borrowed some audio books from the library. This is how I was introduced to Scarlet Pimpernel. I liked the audio book a lot, especially the menacing, raspy voice they gave to Chauvelin. I was delighted to discover one of the first stories to use the idea of a masked hero. Men who like Batman are not allowed to make fun of me for liking Scarlet Pimpernel.

Scarlet Pimpernel is such an entertaining story and Percy is such a charming hero, saving innocents and having fun while doing it. I like Kiriya Hiromu's Percy a lot too, but Kurenai's is my favourite. She really gets into the character and makes a very lovely Percy. Having to wear disguises in this show, she once again shows her ability to fit into all deliciously awful outfits (like the suits they wear to the party held by the prince of Wales). But even out of disguises, I've got to admit Percy's got style. I also obviously adored the sword dance in the mini revue. Kurenai's Percy brings a smile to my face whenever he's on screen. This is probably the role I will remember her most from.

I will miss Kurenai terribly. Whatever she decides to do after leaving Takarazuka, I wish her good luck and happiness as thanks for all the times she brought me lauhter, tears and joy.

#takarazuka #hoshigumi #kurenai yuzuru

14 notes · View notes

bonnieisaway · 6 years

Text

SO YA’LL SAW THE NEW VIDEO MARKIPLIER DROPPED, RIGHT? GOOD. BECAUSE I’M ABOUT TO SCREAM ME AND MY DISCORD SERVER’S THEORY.

ALSO WARNING! THIS IS A VERY VERY VERY LONG POST!

SO SHOUT OUT TO MY FRIENDS RUBY, TEAR, SAGE, AND JIM (AND MY COUSIN YAMI) BECAUSE THEY ALL CONTRIBUTED TO THIS

(image description: my friend, who’s discord name is displayed as “DaddyStabby” talking about Wilf saying “BECAUSE HE CAN SEE AND HAS SEEN SO MANY REALITIES AND TIMELINES, HE CAN’T REMEMBER WHICH ONE HE’S IN”)

so first of, THAT is a thing

and second of all, i’m sure ya’ll were as confused as I was about how it seemed like Wilford could borderline fucking teleport, and other weird shit (like the bullet going through him, Abe suddenly having the gunshot in his chest again, etc)

so our theory is:

Abe is in purgatory. (and..also that..timeline thing.)

let me explain:

first of all, he was SHOT IN THE HEART. Wilford even states in the video, “Just like it’s impossible..to survive a bullet...through the heart.”

(image description: Wilford in the “Wilford ‘MOTHERLOVING’ Warfstache” video with the caption “Just like it’s impossible to survive a bullet” missing the caption “Through the heart.”)

(Image: Abe looking down to see the gunshot wound over his heart.)

Which, is basically true. There are some cases of people surviving that but Abe was in a mansion with only Wilford left (consider Abe’s Partner/The perspective of whoever the viewer can see got shot after and fell off the railing) and considering the fact that when they (+Damien and Celine) woke up as Dark they were still in the mansion, which means Wilford never called an ambulance or anything. So he would have died.

Second of all: What he says after he looks down to see the gunshot wound.

(image: Abe looking down at the gunshot with the caption, “This was all a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from.”)

“I couldn’t wake up from.” Need I say more? Purgatory is endless suffering (or whatever) so I think it could be described as “a nightmare you can’t wake up from.”

Along with this, after Wilford makes sure Abe doesn’t pass out, he says,

(Image: Wilford with the caption “It was a bit of a shock for me, too.”)

Wilford can see different timelines and such, as my friend Sage said, right? What if this is some sort of anomaly timeline where Abe wasn’t supposed to be stuck in purgatory? What if he was supposed to go to heaven, or hell, or wherever he would’ve gone?

Another thing:

“Life needed a bit of madness, but why should death be any different?”

(image: Wilford with the caption “Life needed a bit of madness, but why should death be a need?”)

Needed. Past tense. Mark makes sure to make some very complex and detailed things, so I feel like past tense “needed” is extremely important. It implies he’s dead. This is his afterlife/purgatory. Now, “but why should death be a need?” is messed up in that caption. Without headphones, it’s hard to hear. But I have LBT Lab headphones that are extremely loud, and when I crank them up I hear “But why should death be any different?” This can be thrown up in the air for interpretation, but I believe that he was referring to the madness of the case because Abe had been working on it for years and had lost track of time.

(”But I think the stress is getting to you a little bit, you need to unwind”)

But also Abe has been stressing out too much in this inescapable purgatory.

That’s all the proof from this part of the video.

But something I would like to mention is this:

(Image: The VHS transition back to the club-whatever-thing as Wilford says “Just for tonight, why don’t we....”)

This is an oddly specific transition. Don’t tell me it was only because he didn’t want to show the change of background, because we all know damn well he could have used something similar to a blink, or maybe even other transitions I can’t think of.

I like to believe that this is just a small, unrelated nod to Darkiplier (Considering since Darkiplier didn’t exist till Abe had died) but if you have other theories, let me know!

So this post is kind of a mess, but I have more proof from the other half of the video when Wilford first escaped out of the rope. I’m not gonna lie, there may be a few hints of evidence (how easily he avoided the gunshots...etc...) but those aren’t that important

One thing I do wanna mention is how Wilford shows up in the background while he’s also at gunpoint. I know some might see as a silly gag but maybe it’s another Wilford from a different timeline?

Also: Wilford being in Abe’s head. That’s not exactly logical is it. What do you suppose that could mean?

So let’s go back to where he escapes the ropes.

(Image: Wilford in front of the corkboard saying, “There we all are!” as Abe turns and pulls his gun out.)

This. I’m sure this was confusing, right? After all, the transition happened offscreen.

Offscreen.

You know how I mentioned Wilford showing up in the background while he was at gunpoint and suggesting it was a Wilford from a different timeline? Now, what if Wilford had hopped into a different timeline, moved a bit, and hopped back into this timeline, where he has now moved out of the ropes and in front of the corkboard.

(Wilford seeming distanced while saying “Sorry that I didn’t remember you. Memories start to get jumbled after a while.”

This..off into space look. “Memories start to get jumbled after a while.”

Sure, it’s possible to forget things, but if he was so fond of Abe and Celine and the others, wouldn’t he remember? I’m sure I have fond memories I might never forget, but I can’t jump around timelines. Imagine finding the ability you could travel timelines. You’d surely want to see things that happened in the other timelines, right? After so many timelines...what actually happened and what was just another timeline?

(Abe: HOW THE HELL DO YOU KEEP DOING THAT!?)

Another jump between the timelines, this time to get out of gunpoint.

(Wilford: Things get jumbled so easily! The when, the where, they why, the how of it all; who can keep track of it?)

More memory shenanigans. How many timelines actually exist? Think, all these choices that could have created new timelines.

(Wilford: It’s worth a shot!) He’s so carefree about nearly getting tied up again. He knows he can slip out of it easily.

Wilford: The train..oh, I remember the train! How long were we stuck in the snow for?

Abe: ...What?

Wilford: Oh, you don’t remember- that’s okay. Probably hasn’t happened yet. But some of your finest work, I have to say- a little spoiler alert for later to make it easier on you, we all did it..hehe….

Do I really have to say it? He recalled an event that hasn’t happened yet. One that had probably, already happened in a different timeline.

(Wilford putting his finger up on the gun as if he’s shushing it and going to kiss it.)

THE FUCKING BULLET PHASED THROUGH HIM. We have one of two solutions: The timeline jump was so fast we didn’t see it, or in Abe’s purgatory Wilford can’t die or be captured. Because he’s always going to escape.

Another guess (that kind of goes along to maybe why Wilford is there) is that there’s a part of his subconscious that won’t let Wilford die. that’s maybe warping this purgatory or limbo or whatever to make sure that he doesn’t die. (That bit was also suggested by Sage.)

(Wilford: I don’t really know, honestly. I-I-I don’t understand anything anymore, but I do remember you.)

(Wilford: I’m sorry.)

Now this part was sure one hell of a ride. He hugged the man he had shot in the heart and said “I’m sorry.” Maybe it’s Abe’s subconscious warping this place to believe that Wilford was still a good person and didn’t mean it? Maybe Wilford has just seen so many endings to this scenario that he wants to see a different one. Maybe he’s sorry for everything in other timelines- things that Abe wouldn’t know, but Wilford has seen so many timelines at this point, how can he know what actually happened in this timeline?

(Wilford: Exactly! None of this makes any sense. That’s the beauty of it.)

Why would Wilford gain the ability to see timelines? What’s real and what isn’t anymore? It’s been years since the events of Who Killed Markiplier? and it’s been years since Mark stole Damien’s body and Damien and Celine and Abe’s partner formed Darkiplier. And how would any of that make sense to Wilford? He was convinced that in the end, that it was all a silly prank. Would death even matter if he can just travel to a timeline where they’re still alive? After all, in the video after mentioning Damien’s picture, he does mumble to himself “Maybe I should check up on how he’s doing..” None of this makes sense. And now, they’re in this limbo-purgatory thing. So does it really even matter?

Abe: When was our closest encounter?

Wilford: Yes.

Abe: Before this very moment.

Wilford: Yes.

Abe: That’s easy. It was when we.....When- we.....We..uhm, you...Yeah..eah….It was when.....you uhm...That’s when you......I was hunting you down. I was stalking you. But you fled the country..to….uh....Uhm... Alright, alright...yeah, yeah-eah you-you you were off the radar for three years. But I got a hot tip that you check up in...Uhm...In..uhm..uh...You checked up with....uh...! Uh....uhm….

Wilford: Three years, was it? What year was that, exactly? Abe: uhm..uh..It was...it was uhm..uh..wh-wh..(unintelligible mumbling) It was in..It was...it was..uhm….I can’t remember. I...I’ve, uh...I’ve obsessed over this case for years. Every moment of every day...spent trying to hunt you down. So why can't I remember....? …….am I crazy?

This might seem like a stall for time, but think about this. He strains to remember, but he can’t. And he doesn't know why. Wouldn’t a detective write down dates, keep track of everything, journal, something? Some kind of log? But there’s no actual sense of time. There’s no day and night, no passing of years, just what feels like years. He’s probably been dead for years, but in this purgatory-limbo of his, there’s no escape and there’s no passage of time. He can’t remember some important details, only what matters right now.

“It's impossible. To know things. That haven’t happened yet.”

This is a huge clue to it the fact that he’s dead too. None of this ever actually happened, this is just some purgatory-limbo. Nothing matters. No one knows about it. Anyone else just knows that he’s dead. No one truly knows what goes on in the afterlife, do they?

“Yes, exactly. Just like it’s impossible to survive a bullet through the heart.”

He’s trying to show him. To let him know that’s he’s dead. That this is some purgatory. He wants Abe to escape this.

And so that’s our theory! Please, let me know if you have anything to add on or any questions or even if you just want to chat about this! (I may or may not have spent 2-3 hours typing this, haha....) Thank you for reading, and I apologize for it being so long!

#markiplier #Wilford warstache #abe markiplier #who killed markiplier #wkm #wkm damien #wkm wilford #wkm william #wkm detective #wkm abe #wkm celine #wkm theory #Wilford motherloving warfstache #markiplier egos

171 notes · View notes

tumblunni · 5 years

Text

Misc thoughts of rambling development for my new yokai watch ocs family of hugs and sadness (blythe the Dimmy and amber the Gorgeous Ambassador)

* Amber was totally still Gorgeous Ambassador at heart even back when he was human. I feel like he probably dressed very plain and was very self concious for a long time, as well as also being poor as dirt so it wasnt really easy to be super fashion time. Perhaps the only way he was really able to be remotely flambouyant or pretty was just having a long ponytail that he was very proud of. It would have been easier to maintain a shorter hairstyle when you're struggling to even find somethibg to eat each day let alone a bath, but it just helped him hold on to a tiny bit of confidence. Even when he reincarnated as Gorgeous Ambassador he was still unconfident for a long time and it took all these centuries to fully embrace The Power Of Gorgeous. He was probably really shocked when he got his medal registered and heard his new yokai name, like uhh excuse me "must beautiful man who spreads beauty through the world with his smile" are you sure there hasnt been a mixup??? And nowadays he's become so happy with himself that he maybe dresses a little bit gaudy sometimes, but if you saw how he used to feel then you'd absolutely be cheering for him!

* he was probably worried that Blythe wouldn't recognise him when he finally managed to reunite with them, but i think the lil shadow ghost instantly knew it was their brother and ran straight into the biggest hug ever. "Im worried they'll think im all cringe and gaudy" NO UR LIL SIB IS IN AWE OF YOUR FASHION POWER AND HAPPY FOR YOUR CONFIDENCE

* I also think Amber would absolutely be proud of how much confidence Blythe has gained through travelling with the protagonist and co. Like "aaa the last time i saw you you were so tiny and shy!" "Yes, now i'm tall and shy!" "NUUUU STOP PUTTING YOURSELF DOWN"

* basically they are absolutely Shyness Fam, and Amber just approaches his anxieties differently with over-the-top fake boasting about his greatness instead of being honest about how bad he feels. So thats why itd be so heartwarming to see him genuinely making progress and genuinely seeing good parts of himself. ALL THANKS TO THE INTERNATIONAL GORGEOUSNESS ASSOCIATION OF THE AFTERLIFE, YES *cheesy makeover ads fly by in the background*

* Dimmy's fave food is rice balls not just cos ninja monster = rice balls, but cos for Blythe specifically it brings back happy memories of backstory ninja Amber in ye olden days packing lunches of love for his tiny friend. He was always broke in between finding bountys to hunt, so he was never able to cook anything too fancy, but those simple meals became associated with childhood in Blythe's heart. All the times this big strong human swordsman would have a moment of gentleness and offer his last bit of food to a useless little yokai like them. ("No!! You're a valued part of the team!! And growing children need this more than i do!! Besides, i'm so tough i don't need to eat." *stands up for a minute and blacks out*)

* Since this backstory took place before thee yokai watch was invented, you cant technically say Amber was Blythe's previous watchholder but like.. He totally was? Same formula of being a human you partner with and then go around fighting/befriending other yokai. I like to think that maybe before yokai medals became the latest trend and they set up the whole official regulated medal registration process, yokai would still give their human friends some sort of token of their friendship but it was just less organised. Like imbuing their soul energy into all sorts of shit like This Leaf I Found or One Shoe. Which could be used in the same way to summon them but obv was less conveinient, haha! I'm thinking maybe Blythe's bond object was just a neat rock, cos they were so young and didnt really own anything else to gift to this human. Like all they had was the coal from the hearth in the house they used to haunt, but thatd be too crumbly so they dug through to find the sturdiest and prettiest rock and Amber was like straigjt up crying from how touched this whole thing made him. I WILL TREASURE THIS PEBBLE MY TINY MONSTER CHILD...

* oh but just to rub salt in the wound i think he couldnt find it again when he woke up floating over his own burned corpse in the wreckage of his final fateful battle. There uhh..wasnt much of himself left, let alone anything he was holding. Itd kinda have to be that way cos if it worked like a yokai medal itd mean Amber could have instantly reunited with his friend and cut out all of these years of sad backstory, alas

* ok but imagine the cute and sweet emotionalness of then being able to swap medals when they see each other again, and have an actual magical guarantee of never losing their family ever again.

* I feel like Amber only initially agreed to join the Gorgeous Association because he wanted to get a job in the yokai world and save up to buy a decent house and decent level of income so that there would be a hapoy home waiting for his child whenever he finally found them. He didnt really believe that he had the potential to be a fashion icon, he just went along with it as an employment opportunity in his weird new ghost life. But OH NO, accidental self confidence!! (We are all very proud of him)

* oh and the Gorgeous Association doesnt work 100% identical to the anime version, i just like the anime's general concept. I feel like Gorgeous Ambassador is indeed a yokai species and not just a title, its less 'you were chosen by random lottery' and more 'you were chosen by destiny'...? Shy people who have potential to be fashion icons just tend to end up becoming the shy-people-with-potential-to-become-fashion-icons yokai, aka this. And the Gorgeous Association takes responsibility for finding all new Gorgeouses and training them to use their new powers instead of just staying in their shyness. Its more of a self help club? Oh and also the membership is full of other types of fashion yokai too, its not just Gorgeous Ambassadors. Just its only Gorgeous Ambassadors that get visited by the president as soon as they die and given a special invitation to join. So basically interpreting Gorgeous Ambassador as more 'this yokai is named that cos its powers are about encouraging people to be more confident aka introducing them to the world of fashion'. And less the idea that all Gorgeous Ambassadors used to be a different type of yokai and you can only become one by being picked by the club lottery. And also that its just a costume with no actual powers?? That was funny in the anime but i prefer if they actually could inspirit people and make them more confident and stuff.

* I FEEL LIKE IM EXPLAINING THIS BADLY, SORRY! Ok so uhh like yknow some clubs are all exclusive entry "you are not this thing til you join"? Like you cant be a country club member til you join the country club, and the sense of comeraderie there is just all being rich enough to pay for membership rather than having anything in common. But then there's stuff like lgbt groups or mental health support groups where youre all already the same thing and thats WHY you join the club. Anime version had Gorgeous Association be a country club and Gorgeous Ambassador be just a membership name rather than a real yokai form. Which, again, was really funny but i feel like it only works in a more gag focused series like the anime. Here i'm interpreting it that you can just be born in the species Gorgeous Ambassador, same as any other yokai like jibanyan or whatever, and it actually does have its own special powers and stuff. And its just that the Gorgeous Association sends out invites to any newborn yokai that have fashion related powers. So not all Gorgeous Ambassadors actually join the Gorgeous Association. Oh and Kageusuo is the actual yokai species name for those unaffiliated ones. The anime seemed to say that kageusuo was an unrelated new yokai that isnt in the games, that was just invented to have a form that Gorgeous Ambassador had before he became Gorgeous Ambassador. But i have Other Ideas

* i'll make it a new bullet point cos im getting all disorganized now aaaa

* ok so Kageusuo (or my fanmade eng dub name Shamshade) is Gorgeous Ambassador. Same thing. Same species. Kageusuo is a yokai personifying the idea of a fashionable beautiful person who never reached their potential in life due to social anxiety/bullying. Like an 'ugly duckling' story. Their default form is this shadowy looking depressed dude because their power is that they drain shadows from people, vampire style. This makes you 'less overshadowed", so you become more confident and people notice your unique style! But kageusuo cant use its powers on itself, so a lot of them stay in this shy form forever and just continue repeating the same overshadowed life they have as a human. The fabulous form that Gorgeous Ambassador has in the games is just simply the same yokai dressing differently- a kageusuo that managed to conquer its anxieties from its past life and take steps to embrace its true self! But theyre not actually any different in terms of powers, theyre still shadow vampires and their power to make people fabulous is just them eating your shadow. It was something they could already do before they became fabulous themself, now theyre just confident enough to match their powers, yknow? And also unrelatedly there's a club called Gorgeous Association that this particular kageusuo joined, which personally helped him in his journey of self confidence so he goes by the nickname Gorgeous Ambassador to advertise it. (Which is even more nicknamed into Amber cos he thinks it sounds cute)

* WHY ARE MY HEADCANONS SO OVERCOMPLICATED AAAaa

* anyway just imagine a vampire movie but its a supermodel lurching out of the shadows groaning "I VANT TO SUCK YOUR ANXIETY" and then when he bites you you become more confident. This is a Good Concept so i will somehow find a way to use it, dammit!! *b movie music* "OH NO THE MONSTER GOT TERRY" *terry suddenly wearing applebottom jeans*

* also imagine all of that but also the dude is a weird samurai being all "wow the wonders of the future" about thos applebottom jeans

* why do all my headcanons start as angst and end up as nonsense like this

#bunni plays yokai watch

2 notes · View notes

dyke3vader · 6 years

Text

Sorrow

Requested: No

Ship: Previous Javey, Minor Spot x Davey, can be interpreted as JackCrutchie

Warnings: Slight swearing, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, cancer

Note: Here’s me projectiiiingggggg

Word Count: 1′765 words

“Do you remember that song? From band in eleventh grade?” Crutchie smiled as he scrolled through his phone’s music. “You sang and the rest of the band was so jealous because you were amazing. It was only, like, a year or two after we found out. You made your parents cry.” He reached over and set his phone on the speaker. He played the beginning notes at an ear-eating volume. It's not like the nurses could do anything about it.

It feels like falling,

It feels like rain,

“Do you remember it?” Crutchie asked gently, sitting next to Jack on the bed. The other boy nodded, eyes looking distant.

Like losing my balance,

again and again,

Jack had lung cancer, and he was diagnosed in tenth grade. His family had barely afforded the bills, and with Ms. Medda out of the country it was hell. The main problem, other than the actual cancer, was that most people who have lung cancer only live for five years after they’re diagnosed. Jack just turned 20 last month. That’s more than five years. He’s on his deathbed.

It once was so easy,

Breathe In, Breathe Out,

When they were in high school, Crutchie and Jack had a plan. Jack was going to be an artist, and Crutchie was going to be an author. They were so happy, Jack even had a boyfriend. His name was Davey. He was the complete opposite of Jack, he was a smartass and clueless and they may have fought like an old married couple but… Jack really cared for him. When the Jack found out that she had cancer, he broke up with him. He didn’t want Davey to hurt any more than he had to, so he didn’t even tell the other boy why he was being broken up with. They were just.... Done.

At the foot of this mountain,

I only see clouds,

Jack knew he was going to die from the beginning. His parents were in denial the whole time and the only person there for him was Crutchie. Crutchie tried his damn hardest to keep Jack happy and awake but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t help Jack escape the dark cloud surrounding his future.

I feel out of focus,

Or at least indisposed,

As the months went on, Jack got less and less inspired. His lungs healed enough for him to be home for longer periods of time. He grew his hair back out, and things for his health were looking up. His mental stability though… Was weakening. He couldn’t go outside, he couldn’t leave the house, he couldn’t go back to the school paper. He felt useless.

As this strange weather pattern,

Inside me takes hold,

As he got more and more depressed, he stopped caring about his health. He didn’t even take his medication, instead throwing them in the trash. It didn't take long for him to be back in the hospital. Crutchie took matters into her own hands. He brought the whole paper to Jack’s house after school, and he even bought Jack a new easel, since his old one was slowly eroding. Jack started to smile again. ‘One step forward.’ Crutchie thought.

Each brave step forward,

I take three steps behind,

It wasn't long before Jack was back to his broken mental state. His parents were arguing, his grades were dropping and he still wasn’t feeling any better. Then he found out that Davey had moved on. He found out that Davey moved on to Spot Conlon. That’s when Jack... changed.

It’s mind over matter,

Matter over mind,

Jack had always had a fiery personality. He always had a short temper and even shorter patience. After he found out about Spot, it seemed like he ran on anger and revenge. He was always snapping at people and was yelling back at his parents, but he was fighting. Fighting against Davey, sure, but he was also fighting to stay alive.

Slowly, then all at once,

A single loose thread,

And it all comes undone,

Crutchie was done. He was so over the way Jack was acting. He was only letting her emotions out with anger. It wasn’t healthy. Fighting is good, but not like this. He confronted Jack one day. He may have cancer, but he was still Jack. He was still hot-headed and stubborn, and Crutchie was his only impulse control. That shouldn’t stop just because Jack was sick. So when Crutchie snapped back, it was the last piece of kindling to the bonfire… Jack just broke. Sobbing, yelling, begging. He was scared and angry, at Davey, at his parents, and God, at himself, but it was okay. Crutchie was there.

Where there is light,

A shadow appears,

After Crutchie helped Jack control his emotions, he started getting better. That happened every year, though. He got better, then he straight hit rock bottom. Crutchie was going to keep an eye on him. They were already on year four, and maybe, just maybe… Jack would live past the average.

The cause and effect,

When life interferes,

It was inevitable. That’s what the doctor’s told them. Crutchie told them right back that it wasn’t fair, but they were right. Jack was told he had around eight months to live. Jack, hell-bent on living her life to the fullest, immediately compiled a bucket-list. A list of 76 things that he would not die without. So they promptly began to complete it as quick as they could, before Jack was too sick to move.

The same rule applies,

To goodness and grief,

They got every single thing on that list completed by five months, which gave them three to prepare. They had such an amazing time on that adventure, they sometimes forgot what they were there for. Crutchie had made it his mission for that experience to be as fun as possible, then he had to make those last few months comfortable.

For in our great Sorrow,

We learn what joy means,

Jack didn’t mind being in the hospital. It was okay as long as someone was there with him. It was okay. Jack thought he would have enough time to understand and accept. Until there was a complication with his left lung. One month. One month after that, there they were. Jack and Crutchie sitting next to each other on the bland hospital bed. Jack turned his head to finally face Crutchie. Their watery eyes met. Jack whispered the words he’d been holding back for so long.

“I don’t wanna fight,”

I don't wanna fight,

I don’t wanna fight,

“Not anymore. I fought so hard against Davey, my parents… you. I’ve been fighting against my deathbed so I would never have to lay in it and here I am. Now… I’m sitting here, next to you… and everything hurts…” Jack was sobbing now.

I don’t wanna fight,

“My muscles, my bones, my lungs… my heart… I just want to sleep. I just want to go… It’s too much… I don’t wanna fight no more…”

I don’t wanna fight,

Crutchie understood. He wrapped his arms around his best friend.

“Never again.” Crutchie kissed the top of Jack’s head. “You never have to fight like this again.” Crutchie had never believed in God or an afterlife, but in this moment, he wished there was one, so Jack would be safe forever.

But I will learn to fight,

I will learn to fight,

That would mean Crutchie would be alone. It wouldn’t be Jack and Crutchie anymore. Just… Crutchie. A tear slipped out and onto Jack’s once again bare head. It wouldn’t be forever. Crutchie would find more friends to call home, but no one like Jack. Never again. More tears fell. Maybe Jack didn’t have to fight anymore, but Crutchie will. He will keep Jack alive in their hearts and his mind and his life, in his future. Crutchie will fight for what will be left of Jack.

‘Tis this pendulum finds equilibrium,

All at once, they’re sobbing all over each other. Jack is getting Crutchie’s shirt wet, but neither of them care. Crutchie is thinking about how weird it must be to have tears rolling down your bare head, but doesn’t pull away. He won’t until Jack’s gone.

Slowly, then all at once,

The dark clouds depart,

Jack stops crying but he’s still breathing heavy. His blue eyes look up and stare into Crutchie’s. He looks around. His breathing gets heavier.

“They lied.” Jack whispered. He laughed through tears. “It doesn’t fade to white. It just slowly gets darker. All movies fade out to white when someone dies.” Crutchie smiled.

“Not in The Fault in Our Stars. They cut right to that shit.” Crutchie thought for a moment, arms still wrapped around Jack’s body. “You’re like my personal platonic Hazel Grace.”

“That’s nice. You’re a nerd.” Joked Jack. “Then you're my Augustus, okay? Just promise me. No dying. You’re not allowed. Not until you’re sixty. At least. Promise?” He held up his pinky finger, which Crutchie returned with his own.

“Promise.”

And the damage is done,

So pardon the dust,

“Please don’t mourn for too long, though. You have your own demons.” Crutchie smiled sadly at Jack’s words. “If those Delancey's ever comes near you again, just ouija me. I’ll always be one spirit call away. I’ll haunt them so hard.” Crutchie nodded. He could see what Jack was doing. Trying to tell her the he’ll always be there for him, even when he moves on.

Jack laid his head on Crutchie’s shoulder. He breathed heavily, listening to the last words of the song, his rough voice singing along so quiet, it was almost non-existent.

“I love you, Francis.”

Jack let out a short laugh.

“I love you too, James.”

Crutchie smiled. It’s been so long since he heard that name.

While this all settles in,

With a broken heart,

Jack closed his eyes. Crutchie hugged him again, and he couldn’t feel a heartbeat. He grasped tightly onto her friend’s corpse, not yet reaching the button to notify the nurses. He just cradled Jack’s lifeless body and cried. It wasn’t the first or last time he’d cry over it, but it was the first time he was doing it alone. Alone.

Crutchie took in three uneven breaths. He uncurled one arm from around Jack and shakily reached for the call button. He could barely hear the nurse’s feet over his own sobbing, but when they came to take Jack away, Crutchie let them.

Transformation begins.

The Transformation begins.

#IM SORRY #AT LEAST IT WASNT CRUTCHIE #jack kelly #crutchie morris #davey javobs #jack kelly x david jacobs #javey #crutchie morris x jack kelly #jackcrutchie #spot conlon x davey jacobs #newsies #mai writes

20 notes · View notes

lexinthelibraryofdreams · 6 years

Text

Still here

Imagine: Part two of “Imagine Matt holding you close after you are badly injured”

Words: 1533

A/N: So, a continuation of “Stay with me”. I was thinking about this for a while now and I decided to go with this rout. Probably not the most accurate but I have no clue about the comics, so this is purely my own interpretation. Hope you enjoy

Warnings: -

Part one

Your body felt light, as if you were floating. There was no pain even though all of your last memories were filled with it. You opened your eyes but saw nothing. Suddenly, there was a presence behind you.

“Hello, Y/N,” a voice said and you turned around. “Dad?” you asked, voice unbelieving. Finally, your feet found solid ground in the black nothing and you carefully moved closer to the figure. A sad smile spread across the figures face, before it changed into a bodiless specter out of golden light. “No, unfortunately not. But I won’t hurt you. I’m here to help, actually,” they said and you looked around. “But where is here?” They only hummed slightly and moved closer to you. “Depends. Do you believe in the Afterlife? I could be that, if that’s what makes it more acceptable,” they said and a knot formed in your stomach. “I’m dead?” you asked and the figure seemed to think about it. “No,” they stated finally and you furrowed your brow.

“That’s the thing,” they started to explain. “For everyone else, this would be the place where they would decide where to go after death but you,” they hummed again, before adding, “you won’t because you simply can’t die.” A dry laugh escaped you and they turned to face you. “What? Don’t you believe me?” You simply shook your head. “No, of course not. You’re implying that I’m what? Immortal? That’s ridicoulus,” you stated and crossed your arms in front of your chest. “What about that car accident then?” the suddenly asked and you looked at them with a questioning gaze. “What?” you asked, unsure what they were talking about. They studied your face and then started walking. Even though there was nothing but darkness around you, you decided to follow, hoping something would make sense soon.

“The one that cost your father’s live. And also killed you,” the said after a long silence.

You stared at them with the cold feeling the memory brought in the back of your mind. “It didn’t. I survived. And I’m still feeling guilty.” Suddenly, your surroundings changed and you immediately recognized your room. Everything was just like it had been in the morning but one detail froze you in your place.

Incredulously, you stared down at your own body, lying on your bed in front of you. Someone had taken your armor off and washed off the blood but the cuts were still visible. What scared you the most was the missing rise and fall of your chest. You turned to ask the figure but they were gone. Another voice caught your attention and you followed it to the living room. On the couch there were Claire Temple, the nurse and a very beat up Matt. Claire gestured towards your bedroom. “I’m telling you Matt, something is wrong there. She’s clearly dead but by now she should have gone cold. You can still move her arms and legs, despite the lack of vital signs. I can’t explain it to you.”

“He loves you, you know,” the figure said, startling you. “He’s just pretty good at hiding it, not wanting to destroy your friendship.” You looked up at them, finding them staring at you. Their voice sounded warm and soft. “And you love him, even though you don’t want to admit it, even to yourself,” they continued. “But before you can go back to him, you will have to understand who you are.” The scene shifted again and you wanted to protest but they only gestured for you to look around.

You were in an ER. Nurses were walking by, taking in a new patient, a girl not older than twelve years old. She was pale, unmoving and there was blood on the side of her head. As she was wheeled away, one of the paramedics turned to a nurse. “Her father didn’t make it. When I first found her, I thought she was dead but we suddenly picked up vital signs. I don’t know how she survived that crash, it was brutal.” He shook his head and left after saying goodbye. During his explanation, your heart had picked up its pace. That had been your younger self after that fatal crash. A cold realization settled in and you looked at the figure. “I died,” you whispered and they nodded, wiping away the scene with a flick of their wrist. The darkness fell around you again. “Who are you?” you asked after a moment.

“Destiny,” the figure responded.

“Destiny? As in you determine who dies and who doesn’t?” you asked quietly. After what you just saw, it didn’t even sound crazy anymore. They chuckled and said, “It is far more complex than that but for now it is enough.” You looked at them in silence, hoping for a further explanation. “I’m only a part of Destiny, your part to be precise. But that has nothing to do with your immortality. Or your skills in the mortal world. Should you decide to leave it someday, you will join the cosmic powers as a Keeper of Life. To teach you about empathy and humanity, you were send to Earth as one of them.” Your mind was racing to process everything. “So, essentially you’re saying I’m some sort of a cosmic being?” you asked carefully and they nodded. “Correct. It may be hard to accept but with time you will get used to it. Now that you know about everything, your powers will start to emerge. Use them wisely.”

They turned around, ready to leave and you called out again. “What happens now?” They looked at you and you were back in your room. “You are free to go.” Then they vanished, leaving you alone in the darkness.

You opened your eyes even though you didn’t remember closing them. Taking a look around, you saw your room. Only now you felt the throbbing pain in your body and it never had been more welcome than now. Carefully, you sat up, taking a look at the stab wound between your ribs. It had closed, healed and now there was nothing more than a scar. You shoved your legs over the edge of the bed and pushed yourself into a standing position. Slowly, you made your way into the living area only to find it empty. How much time passed between now and the moment you had seen? As you were looking for a sign of Matt, the opening and closing of the front door made you jump. You turned to see Matt walk around the corner, clearly distracted and then he froze.

“Y/N?” he asked, his voice strangely shaky and you walked towards him. “Yeah,” you said softly, almost soundlessly. Whatever he was holding, he let go of and caught you in a hug. You threw your arms around you, ignoring your body’s protest. “I thought you were-” he said, cutting himself off as he brought some distance between you. You hummed quietly, stating, “It’s a long story. I still have to process it myself.”

He loves you, you know.

The melodic voice of Destiny echoed around your head and you looked at Matt intently. “What?” he asked, feeling your gaze upon him. “I love you,” you said, surprisingly calm. Now that you said it, you knew it was true. And for how long it had been that way. The surprise in his face was clearly visible and he swallowed, trying to regain his composure. “Really?” he asked and you had to smile. “Really.” Then he pulled you into a kiss. His lips were warm and soft against yours, carefully examining the new territory and possibilities. It simply felt right, as if it had to be that way. You broke the kiss as an idea formed in your head. No, not really an idea, more of a plan. You didn’t know how you were sure it would work but you just were.

“Is something wrong?” he asked and you shook your head. “No. I just want to try something,” you mumbled and he cocked his head slightly. Carefully, you grabbed his glasses and slid them off as he nodded. Your finger caressed his cheek as your other hand folded the glasses and put them into his pocket. “What are you trying?” he then asked. You pressed a kiss to his nose. “It’s a surprise.”

Softly, you took his hands into yours, never breaking eye contact with him. An electric feeling spread through you and it felt familiar and strange at the same time. You could see his eyes regaining focus and he blinked in surprise, which quickly turned into shock as he realized what was happening. He didn’t say anything and was only examining your face, taking in every detail. With tears in his eyes, he finally asked,” How? How are you doing this?” You ran your thumb across the back of his hand and smiled softly. “Honestly? I don’t really know. And unfortunately, it isn’t permanent,” you replied and he slightly shook his head. “That doesn’t matter. But I’ve seen you now and I will never forget your face again,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss you again, which you gladly accepted.

#matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock imagine #Daredevil #daredevil x reader #daredevil imagine

23 notes · View notes

im-999 · 6 years

Photo

Happy Holidays everyone! Have some Eggnog or Ignoct or both!

This past Sunday I finally managed to complete all the endings for Episode Ignis, and admittedly its put my mind in a strange place this entire week. Frankly, I’m still not sure I’ve fully processed it yet…but wow, if someone had told me last year that this 2 hour DLC was going to hold a mirror up to all the unpleasant emotions I had bottled up 6 months prior, I would’ve stared at you like I did that 4-legged chocobo in Assassin’s Creed Origins.

[Episode Ignis ~ Leveling up my Appreciation for Ignis with Overdue Sad Feels and a Side of Spoilers]

As much as I do love Ignis, I have a terrible confession to get off my conscious…I’ve always harbored the sentiment that his characterization in the main game was lackluster. He felt purposely shallow in the sense that he was designed to be smart, strong, devoted but above all “reserved” for unclear reasons, allowing the viewer to freely project whatever sort of headcanon you want unto him. While this has led me to read some of the most amazing fan-fiction I’ve read and make some amazing friends, a part of me also just couldn’t shake the feeling that this was such a lazy, cheap way of producing a popular character. Simply put, Iggy appeared super off-the-shelf...the stoic, handsome butler, type. It annoyed me that his character was left open to such a wide interpretation...he could literally be anything…from emotionally clueless to romantic, dorky to suave, warm to cold, A to Z…basically everything under the rainbow could’ve worked.

So when it was revealed that each Chocobro would be getting their own DLC episode, my sole wish for Iggy’s was that it would explore the parts of his personality and motivations that he allegedly kept under wraps during the main game. And indeed, we get to see Ignis’s emotions unravel spectacularly in his attempts to save Noct from physical harm as well as from his destined fate. And just…how he copes with the failure of the latter. It was everything I had hoped they’d explore.

Playing through the dlc, I had expected to shed some tears here and there. But by the end, I was heavily crippled by an overwhelming personal sadness...because witnessing Ignis’s journey was like seeing myself behave with my dad’s struggle and untimely passing from an aggressive cancer 6 months ago. And never in a million years did I think this DLC was going to make me face that again.

There were countless times where I went through the same motions Ignis did in the main route where he flinched, grit his teeth, or looked down, before telling Noct that he was going to support him no matter what. I could feel him feel terrible saying that…knowing the way it was all going to go down in the end. Because really, that’s all you can do. And it really really sucked.

And then there were the times I fully related to that explosive anger Ignis let manifest in the alternate route. How he believed it was utterly unfair for Noct to have to die in order to save everyone. The amount of despair Ignis experienced in that moment. And above all, the hypocrisy he displayed. How in one instance Ignis told Ravus he needed to “come to his senses,” and then in the next you saw him acting the exact same way when confronted by Ardyn. That too, especially reminded me of how I was during some of the tougher days of my dad’s illness.

Solipsistic as this sounds, Iggy’s lead up to the Ardyn fight in the alternate route might have been that watershed moment where he transcended the JRPG Sidekick Type X to an actual, believable human for me. I know it definitely made some hard core Ignis fans uncomfortable and led them to feel that he acted out of character…but quite honestly, given that he was physically isolated from everything and everyone else at the time, I found it entirely plausible for him to let out his frustrations in such a raw “caged animal” manner. Hypocrisy and acting out of narrow self-interest aren’t sexy, endearing things to see...its very rare to see them in fictional characters, which is precisely why I appreciated that the seemingly stable Ignis displayed them, when he was trapped with Ardyn. It made him so much more relatable as a human to me rather than the stereotypical “I am a good guy therefore I must automatically care about everyone” bullshit that proliferates most fictional media these days. In a way, it was cathartic.

As to the content of the endings themselves, I don’t particularly care to argue which one was more or less valid, nor do I care to dissect the semantics of the dialogue in every single language to find a single “true” interpretation. Personally speaking, I was never really moved by the ending of the game due to the way the story abruptly transitioned from the “revenge against the empire” to “sacrifice” without so much as a proper explanation until close to the end. And as much as I appreciate SE trying to improve the later parts of the game with their updates, sorry to say, but nothing really came close to blowing me out of the water. If anything, their attempts to explain things either opened up more questions or created more plot holes.

While I definitely felt sad that Noctis died to bring back the light, the sheer lack of emotional territory covered in the events prior ultimately killed off the rest of the impact. How did the rest of the Chocobros’ take Noct giving up his life without so much as a peep? I half expected Gladio to jump up and rage, for Prompto to cry and beg him to reconsider...but no...we only got a few silent tears around. It seemed as if there were so many things that happened either off screen or they didn’t think about when it came to the end...again it all kind of fell flat and empty.

So that said, for the two Episode Ignis endings, I did not expect either one to flawlessly line up to the rest of the game’s details and plot points. I was just happy that both of them managed to get across Ignis’s deepest feelings across with relative consistency…that he wanted to support Noct wherever he ended up…even if it meant the afterlife it seems.

To end this on a slight humorous note, as of now I still can’t fathom the irony. How the one main character in this game I thought was the most two dimensional, ended up being the one I could relate to most in the end....seriously. X_X

Going forward, I’m still thinking about the game a lot, and given that there’s still more content to come in 2018, I hope to delve into a new game + soon, armed with my new found appreciation of Ignis!

In any case...I just want to give him a nice big hug, rub his back, and gel his hair back up, so he doesn’t look like Bieber anymore. Don’t shoot! :D

#this is why i'm banned from all the coolest ignis clubs in town #if you made it all the way to the end please take an ignis-shaped cookie on your way out #glad to get this off my chest #ffxv #final fantasy xv

134 notes · View notes

dailyaudiobible · 5 years

Text

08/23/2019 DAB Transcript

Job 8:1-11:20, 1 Corinthians 15:1-28, Psalms 38:1-22, Proverbs 21:28-29

Today is the 23rd day of August. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian and it is a joy to be here with you today. It's a joy to be here with you every day as we come around the global campfire and do what we do, take another step forward in God's word and let God's word to orient us to his heart and advise and inform our choices today. I can't imagine life without this as the rhythm and the center. So, I'm glad we can be here together and take that next step. And, of course, we’re in the book of Job now and we have spent a couple of days in the book of Job, and so we kind of know the lay of the land. And we heard one of Job's friends, Eliphaz speak yesterday and Job responded to that and today we’re gonna hear from Bildad. So, we’re reading from the Christian Standard Bible this week. Job chapter 8,9, 10, and 11 today.

Commentary:

Okay. So, the apostle Paul was a Pharisee as we probably we all at least mostly know. And a Pharisee was very, very strict and very educated way to lead the people. And so, as we’re reading in first Corinthians today, even though Paul has kind of left that and has become this apostle of Jesus and is preaching the gospel of Jesus, he’s still being quite the Pharisee today because this is how he was trained. So, he’s very passionate. So, during the time that Jesus lived and then also during the time that Paul lived there were two different schools of thought in Judaism. On the one hand you have the Sadducees and they were the ones that were in power really, they were the elite among the Jews. They thought that they were actually the true ancestors among the priests. And, so, they were mostly centered in Jerusalem and very powerful, very, very conservative. And then, on the other hand, the Pharisees were more plentiful, and they were spread all over the countryside. So, they were way, way, way more in touch with the people. And, so, collectively when you have a Council made up of Sadducees and Pharisees that would be called the Sanhedrin and these were the people who, you know, maybe had a couple different points of view, but they would wrestle through it and interpret and enforce the Mosaic law and then teach people how to obey it. So, one of them big distinctions between Sadducees and Pharisees was that they had very, very different thoughts about the afterlife, especially about resurrection from the dead. Sadducees didn't believe that the dead would rise again. For them, like a person would die and then they would return to God and then like, that’s that, the end of the story. So, Pharisees, on the other hand, they did have a hope in the resurrection from the dead. So, we, you know, from that perspective we could say that even Jesus took a pharisaical view on this particular point and it was the pharisaical view that actually prevailed in the end, historically. So, Paul, as a trained Pharisee, he was hoping in resurrection. He actually had that in common with Jesus even though he hated Jesus and he hated Jesus followers because of what it was…basically because it was like heresy to him as a very very trained Pharisee. So, he would've kept persecuting believers in Jesus if he had not had an experience with the resurrected Christ, right, with someone who had been resurrected. And that was his hope, that that was his defense when he found himself, you know, before the Sanhedrin back in the book of Acts. Jesus resurrection, that was the thing that proved all of it for Paul. This made all of his religious convictions true. So, in Paul’s view Jesus resurrection was like the only…like the centerpiece for it all. The reason Jesus mattered was because he was resurrected and that was proof that God was doing something new in the world. And that's where we spent our time today in first Corinthians in the 15th chapter. So, let's take that with us into this day - the implications of the resurrection. Like, we kind of take that for granted. Like, we just take it for granted. But as believers the resurrection from the dead is our hope but think about the two camps. The Sanhedrin, right? Think of the Pharisees and the Sadducees because you begin to wonder, like, where would you be on that…on that continuum? Because to believe in the resurrection, that means, that means that you will one day and I will one day after we have died awaken from the dead and rise, right? So, that’s not a metaphor, like that's a pretty big deal. And, so, you think, “well, is that how it works? Is that how it's gonna work? Is that how resurrection happens? Like, what if…”. But the thing is, without the resurrection as the centerpiece of our faith, the entire faith is useless. And that's according to the apostle Paul not just according to our own reason, even though our own reason, like, is correct. Without the resurrection there isn't any hope. I believe. Paul believed that Jesus indeed did rise from the dead and I believe that that was showing us what's to come. And that gives us hope that is…that is eternal. But carry that into your day today by simply, you know, thinking about like, “would I have been a Sadducee, or would I have been a Pharisee?” You know, like, “What am I functionally believing today?” And that could be a little disruptive, but as we have learned, the Bible has no problem with being disruptive and we should stop fighting disruption. Those little things that come and make us go, “hmmmm, let me think about that some more.” That's a good thing. That's wrestling. Like that's a good thing. And as we can see from the book of Job, the Bible has no problem with our wrestling, it's part of the deal. God has no problem with that. And, so, let's carry this today, and just kind of look at how it is that we live our lives as it relates to not only Christ's resurrection, but our resurrection.

Prayer:

Holy Spirit, we invite You into that. We invite You to help us to wrestle with how we live versus how we need to believe and what we need to live into. And we invite You fully into that knowing that You've given us permission to wrestle with these kinds of things. And in whatever way we wrestle You are still present to us and leading us forward. So, come Holy Spirit we pray. In the mighty name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, it is home base, it is where you find out what’s going on around here.

And this is the last call, last call for the Family Reunion 2019, which will begin a week from tomorrow on the 31st over Labor Day weekend and we are looking forward to…we are looking forward to it very much...getting everything ready and just looking forward to fellowship, looking forward to stepping out of the anonymity of the Internet and just getting to see each other and hug each other's necks and check each other's hands and hear each other’s stories. And that’s the beauty of this. And, so, hopefully you can come. We’ve been talking about it for a while, but this is last day for registration. We’ve got to shut that down and get everything together and get everything prepared for this next weekend. So, if you’re looking for the details you can find them at dailyaudiobible.com in the Initiatives section. Just look for Family Reunion 2019 and all the details are there. And hopefully, after reading the details you’ll decide that you’ll need to be there too. And we’ll have great time together. So, check it out. Hope to see you next weekend.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com as well. There's a link that lives on the homepage and I thank you, I thank you profoundly for your partnership. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi everybody this is Salvation is mine and San Angelo California a.k.a. Jacqueline. I know it’s been a very long time since I called in, but I need to start doing that again. 2019 has been a very hard year already. Started out in March with sciatic nerve pain that was so bad that I couldn’t work. And then I had back surgery in May to fix the problem with my two vertebrae that were collapsed. And the surgeon did a wonderful job. I praise God for the surgeon and my financial coverage because it didn’t cost me a dime. And after that I had edema in my feet which I’m still fighting since June where my feet swell up retaining water. Doing everything I can to make sure that I still can go to work. It’s pretty hard when you can’t walk but you do your best. So, I’m asking for prayer for my feet and my health and my back, that the rest of the year I will be illness free because by His stripes I am healed I am already healed and I know Gods time isn’t our time I know it can take a while for me to be healed but I ask for your prayers and I thank you so much for everyone out there with the Daily Audio Bible, Brian and his family who gives this to us every day to feed our Spirit, to feed our soul, to feed our mind, and to feed our hearts because without it we are nothing. Thank you for listening. I will be calling in again soon. Take care. God bless you all. This is Salvation is Mine in San Angelo California.

Hello Daily Audio Bible family, we are two friends from Arizona, and we don’t call often. In fact, this is the first time for one of us because we are calling for our dear friend Alicia. Alcoholism is a very sensitive topic in our families and we’re so proud of her for calling in and asking for prayer. So, please pray with us Daily Audio Bible family. Dear heavenly Father, Lord we can only imagine the struggles that Alicia’s going through. We know that alcoholism has far-reaching effects and we know that it’s also a symptom of challenges that You need to help us with Lord. We pray that you be with Alicia and give her your Holy Spirit to help her as well as friends and wisdom in this time of need. Lord, only You can help Alicia and she’s asking for your help. Lord we know from experience that You don’t let those prayers go unanswered. Please be with her, please provide help that she needs, please show her clearly how to be accountable, how to seek your help, and how to appropriate your answers in her life. Thank you for her braveness in calling thank you for the opportunity to pray for her. Please help us all to remember to pray for her often. In Jesus’ name. Amen. Thank you, family. Bye-bye.

Hello Daily Audio Bible family. This is DABber Drew from the central coast of California. It is Sunday morning, August 18th at dawn and I am a drying to San Diego to pray for a new granddaughter born early Thursday morning and due to birth trauma, she’s now in the ICU with very little brain activity on a respirator. I’m asking people of faith to pray that I can raise her life. Everybody’s already written her off, the doctor says that you just might as well unplug her and let her die and I am driving six hours to lay hands on this child and raise her to life by the power of Jesus Christ within me and I need some backup friends. So, please pray for DABber Drew. Pray that the Holy Spirit will show up in my body and do great things. Thank you, family. Bye.

God bless each and every one of you Daily Audio Bible family, this is To Be a Blessing from California. I’ve been listening to the podcasts and the prayer requests and definitely listening to the community prayer on every Saturday and have been praying for each of you as the requests come forward. Praying specifically for Salvation is Mine, Cherry Chase Cherry Pie, thinking about Pelham, also thinking about Margo from Australia now Africa, also for Candace. Praying for Mark in Arizona and everyone else but those particularly came to mind this morning. I had some challenges earlier this year in my workplace where the work was just really, really hard, really really hard and God brought me through, brought my team through and I praise him for that. Did not give up, was not going to allow __ because I was sticking close to God and you have been…you were so supportive in that way. It’s amazing to say that things have gotten even worse and I ask for your prayers for that. I also ask for your prayers for being where Gods wants me to be. I am looking to make a change but I’m also waiting to see what God’s got on His mind and where He wants me to be. I’m 100% committed where I am until God shows me differently. So, thank you for your prayers for that, for my staff, and for the work that has just gone on. Will be continuing to pray. Will keep you updated. Hello Angel from California. God bless. Bye-bye.

0 notes