#you can say no but please say yes

[anxiousotters]

If I write a rivals-to-lovers Modern AU crack fic featuring Grizzled Old Men™ Jaster Mereel and Tor Vizsla as next-door neighbours duking it out over a “Best Yard” title (with some background YA Codywan), will people read it?

#this is mostly rhetorical #because I’ve already written 1.5 K words for this AU #jaster mereel #tor vizsla #JasTor #codywan #you can say no but please say yes #it’ll be funny I promise #otter’s fics

[theoldkyokodied]

The Allegiance of the Ascended Vampire and the New God of Magic

#bloodweave #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #gale x astarion #astarion x gale #gale dekarios #astarion ancunin #yes this is about astarion helping gale defeat mystra and take her place with the crown in exchange for gale helping him with the ritual #the ‘they can make each other worse’ part of their relationship turned to the max #I enjoy them being reluctantly soft for each other more but from time to time I just think about how powerful they could get together #toxic evil boyfriends. take love and twist it up until it’s unrecognisable #I like to think that astarion approached gale with that offer after realising no one else in camp is gonna help him #and that he can use gales own hunger for power which backfired when astarion actually became emotionally invested in gale #and after gale kept his word despite everyone’s concerns astarion changed his plan from not fullfilling his end of the bargain to actually #helping gale kill mystra (mostly so that gale could belong to him and him alone. and letting him take the place as a god bc having a god #at you beck and call is definitely appealing. especially one as eager to please as gale) #anyway what I want to say with this is please please please let me kill mystra i don’t even care if the weave gets destroyed again

[inkskinned]

crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

#spilled ink #writeblr #personal #please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it #i really try not to write so specifically about it #bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child #i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years #i might delete this. feels big. #the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum #and if u say ur autistic #inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms #please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do #and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort. #but it still feels like... #when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing. #they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly? #and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find #the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go) #and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW." #''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.'' #and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic #someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.

[deep-space-lines]

okay but like. I just had the weirdest thought about that ‘don’t look I’m naked’ comic. Which is that that’s essentially the same thing Adam and Eve did after they ate the fruit of knowledge of good&evil. So I feel like the theological implications of that could kneecap Gabe if he doesn’t think V1 is a being with free will.

yeah ok. i dunno man. is this anything

((side note. this isn’t necessarily meant to be in-character or story-accurate or take place at any particular point in time, just a way to explore some Thoughts. i was also imagining more that V1’s words aren't actually spoken, more like Gabriel’s more articulate interpretation of whatever garbled mechanical noise V1 is using to communicate. I think an angel could do that.))

and then they fucked nasty the end

#my art #my writing #who fuckin sent this. fuck you. come off anon so i can kick your ass. (the thoughts this ask sparked consumed almost 3 days of my life) #i dont know what this even is #i just work here #disclaimer i don't come from a particularly religious background so like. #most of my knowledge of christianity comes from when my mom sent me to vbs for cheap babysitting in middle school or absorbed via osmosis #so i have no idea what im talking about except for when i do! hope this helps #i love how i say that like i expect biblical scholars to tear apart my ultrakill gay fanfiction #if you are a biblical scholar and you want to tear apart my ultrakill gay fanfiction please know i am not going to read the bible for this #ultrakill #v1 ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #gabv1el #blood #love tagging ultrakill stuff with blood. hmm yes the floor here is made out of floor

[pothosrays]

curious. lol

#i personally despise 1 and 4 the most. hoooly shit #like yes you can make good art on mspaint and a notes app and aggie.io and whiteboard etc etc omg. please. its fine. #and please dont say youre going to give up because of me that makes me so sad forever #rb bait #polls #txt

[meragoround]

jirai kei f!Kylar plagued my mind

#degrees of lewdity #dol #dol fanart #kylar the loner #dol kylar #do you see my vision #please say yes first time i had read about jirai kei i thought #wow this would fit Kylar so much! #they'll like it for sure! #you can also convince m! into wearing it #oh man crossdressing in jirai kei m!Kylar.........

[steveharrington]

listening to students tell me “yeah i can’t figure this out i’m just a girl 🤣” listening to my coworkers tell me “honestly i just can’t wait to become a stay at home girlfriend so i never have to work again!!” looking at my online feeds which have all become like pictures of cigarettes with a pink bow on them captioned “girlhood” i’m ACTUALLY going to start freaking the fuck out

#i’m not hating on my coworkers btw like. i won’t act like the thought of #getting to stay home and not having to work 40 hour weeks for meager earnings #while someone else handles expenses isn’t like obviously appealing #but it’s so. dangerous. to let your husband have full control of you financially #and one of them was explicitly saying she wants her job to be quote unquote taking care of her boyfriend #like yes we don’t dream of labor but girls please #you can find a job you’re interested in you can find a way to have control over your own income #please

[rivvre]

Some bistro huddy fan art I’ve doodled recently 😩☝️

I’ll go back to op soon I promise 😭🙏

#art #digital art #artists on tumblr #fan art #i’m a noob at digital please #riv art #bistro huddy #bistrohuddyruby #rubybistrohuddy #this will flop but #what can you do #👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩? #i say yes

[michelle-jacksons-art-blog]

K but what if siblings

#had a revelation last night #looked around for their birthdates and found Marc's but not Miguel's so I searched for his first appearance ever and went w that #and yes yes I know Miguel's supposed to be from like the future or whatever but isn't this much more fun #so anyway the important thing here is baby Miguel #i also don't care that they have completely different heritages I'm just here to propose that if they were brothers that would be very cute #also PLEASE read the little note at the top right as it says who made the og poses I referenced for this #their art is very cute so please check it out thank you #my art #fan art #across the spiderverse #moon knight #miguel o'hara #marc spector #steven grant #jake lockley #oscar isaac #yes oscar is the entire reason this exists you can thank him for that #marvel #atsv #atsv fanart #moon knight fanart #across the spiderverse fanart #miguel o'hara fanart #marc spector fanart #steven grant fanart #jake lockley fanart

[angelhummel]

My absolute least favorite flavor of anti is “canon doesn’t actually justify my immense hatred of this character, so I’m going to make up bad things they did, pretend it’s canon, then get mad over that” like bestie chill just say you don’t vibe with them and move onnn 

#i dont understand who has the energy #yes this is about blaine lmao #its not enough to say i dont like him and move on #gotta come up with 193742 false claims and pretend they're real #just to give myself something else to get mad over #like okay honey this is very un normal please seek help #he's not real alskfjslk #this is also about mal from d3scendants aalskfjskldf people have been weird over there lately too #is there anything you do like? can you focus on that? #actually in mal's case it's kind of justified lmao which makes it all the worse that they feel they have to make shit up

[bumblingbabooshka]

My name is [BRUTUS] and my name means [HEAVY] so with a [HEAVY] heart I'll guide this dagger Into the heart of my enemy

Something about having absolutely no choice in who you marry. About being literally forced by the law to spill blood - to accept this stranger as your husband over a man you truly care for or accept the fact that the man you love might die because you put him in danger. Something about risking becoming the wife of a man you've never even seen before a few minutes prior because you know anything would be better than putting your beloved in harm's way. Something about the trust inherent in that decision and in the way she speaks of it after. Truthfully, T'Pring doesn't know the captain and she doesn't know Spock. Either one of them could have taken her as their wife but she does know Stonn. She knows that Stonn will remain by her side no matter what. They made a plan together. They have an agreement which T'Pring believes will be upheld even though the plan changed with the arrival of Kirk. Stonn will always be there, always, and Stonn will be hers. Something about the language used around T'Pring: Ownership, subservience, non-personhood. T'Pring is an object that Spock can win. She cannot reject him, she has no say in the matter other than having Stonn 'claim' her instead. Even when Spock leaves after being very clearly rejected by T'Pring he says "Stonn, she is yours." as if despite her clear rejection he still owns her and is must formally 'give' her to Stonn. But the language T'Pring uses around Stonn is a break from that: "There was Stonn who wanted very much to be my consort, and I wanted him." Stonn who wanted very much to be HER consort and she WANTED him. The language here is very particular - It's not, for example: "Stonn wanted me to be his wife" - he is HERS. And she WANTS him. There's a mutual affection there and a strong trust - a trust which seems to be well founded since Stonn (though silent) stands by her side at the end of the episode. <- That might seem small but if Spock would reject her for 'daring to challenge' (again, the language is not 'because I don't want you' but more of an implied disgust at her having the AUDACITY to reject him) then it's not a stretch to assume that it'd be considered an insult in the TOS Vulcan society to NOT choose Stonn as her champion after a prior agreement. Anyway T'Pring was a woman in an impossible situation within a society which saw her as more of an object than a person and she wanted Stonn and Stonn wanted to be hers and she trusted that he would understand if she had to publicly pick someone else to ensure his life would be spared and he did understand.

#amok time #T'Pring i s....T'Pring she....-puts my head through a wall- #PLEASE read under the cut for my rambling about T'Pring in amok time pleasepleaseplease #tired of 'T'Pring is evil/a bitch' and VERY uninterested in 'T'Pring is a girlboss' #T'Pring is a person in a society which doesn't think she has the right to make her own choices who's in [love] with a man who [loves] her #back in what I'd like to think is implied to be a slightly subversive way in its mutual and fervent nature (whether the writers thought #this was a good or bad thing - who knows. We know better RIGHT??) #and yes I will stylize T'Pring's hair differently every single time I draw it HEHEHE #star trek tos #Spock #T'Pring #also of COURSE something something spock/kirk & stonn/t'pring parallels: To keep your beloved safe you have to force someone else to kill #theirs - not BC you hate him (you don't) but you don't love him either and why does HE get to have you even if you don't want him?? Why doe #he get to 'give' you to the person YOU chose?? It's not a hatred on a person level (which I wanted to portray with the 'brothers') portion #but a sort of societal embodying. #I will think about T'Pring not wanting to be 'the consort of a legend' every damn day !!! #They really could have laid it on thick in making her evil guys...T'Pau even makes a comment about Spock's 'vulcan blood is thin' #but all T'Pring says is that Spock is a legend and she doesn't want that for her life. She wants Stonn. #And you're gonna sit there and you're gonna tell her that she's wrong!??? Spock doesn't even want to be with her!! Why is she so hated!? #CAN WE FREE MY GIRL??? She did all that but it's being read in the worst faith possible!! #comix #bea art tag #star trek art #She literally says the word 'FREE'...she's TRAPPED!!!

[souheki-lovechild]

ethereal beautiful meaningful soukoku and cringe fail loser soukoku are two concepts that can and should (and do) coexist

#'please cite your sources' #'gladly!' i say #handing them the entire manga collection and most of the light novels #'here you go!' #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #skk #soukoku #yes i love their breathtaking imagery and divine vibes #(puns entirely intended) #but i also love how absolutely fucking stupid and dumb they can be #they are beauty they are grace they are walking disasters #not disasters waiting to happen #eternally happening disasters #anyway #i am correct #argue with the wall

[sincerely-sofie]

*Skitters up to you on all fours and drops this in your lap, then scrambles up the walls and onto the ceiling and immediately falls asleep*

Comic time! Lucky wakes up in the middle of the night and has a chat with Sen in this one.

#ah yes. the struggle of seeing yourself as a machine incapable of truly having an emotional connection with others #no matter how deeply you long for such things #whilst simultaneously seeing that deep longing within you as a mistake. a flaw. an imperfection #you were made to be absolute and impartial #to be biased in favor of your charges beyond that which your ‘programming’ dictates is shameful #you are broken. you are flawed. you want and you want and you want and you’ve never stopped /wanting./ #you aren’t supposed to worry or care or love. you weren’t made for it. #and if you were not made for it then you simply cannot worry or care or love. #these /things/ that haunt you and make you inefficient are not emotions. #they are your imperfections; flaws in your make; symbols of your failures to live up to your purpose #you are broken. you are flawed. and you want so deeply that you can scarcely keep the longing inside you #such a failure you are; to not only survive the fall of the metropolis you were built to give your life to defend #but also to stoop to and revel in such indulgent imperfections as these false emotions the moment your makers are gone to dust #Fun Fact! Sen doesn’t require sleep #and spends every evening standing outside of Sharpedo Bluff / whatever campsite the gang have set up to guard the entrance. #she doesn't stay inside at night because it wasn't something done in the metropolis she hails from. #sentries are meant to watch over their charges. they are not meant to indulge in the pleasant and dry warmth of their homes. #Kip hears about this eventually (he thought it was just Sen not trusting people enough to sleep around them) and FLIPS OUT #“PLEASE would you come inside IT'S LITERALLY HAILING” #Sen is taking so much hail damage and has the gall to look at him and say “You should return to your home. the weather is unfavorable” #Kip just screams into his hands because he might have found someone even worse at self-care than Twig #And with that #it is beddy-bye time for Sofie :) #the present is a gift au #pmd oc #pmd ocs #pokemon mystery dungeon #pokémon mystery dungeon #pmd explorers #pmd eos

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

#writeblr #this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol #by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations #and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me #& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what???? #like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it #''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother #and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!'' #yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious #anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it #it's seen as the only important thing #even if ur gay #and it's a nuanced thing idk #and while rn i i.d. as lesbian #like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like . #sexuality is fluid... #don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label #they're like GET in the BOX #if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me. #(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)

[mashmouths]

post limit was created to silence women

#'mad that you hit post limit again aren't you?' yes i am in fact #felix in despair voice I CAN'T SPEAK #only tenuously a woman and i have never once shut up but i am being silenced and i tire #i don't say words out loud in my real life please can i babble into the void in peace....... #tch whatever it's not like i care. looks wetly over my shoulder at you as i slowly walk away. #a post #this post plays in my head verbatim every time i hit post limit btw it's finally time to let her fly free #like i have almost 1000 drafts i self-censor quite a bit i just have more to say.

[i-d-e-g-a-f]

i ache for katara so deeply, she deserves so much better than her canon fate. i cannot express in words how much her story and how the fandom views/treats her physically hurts me

#anti kataang #katara deserved better #i know she’s a fictional character so ppl can say think and feel however they want about her and it the end of the day it shouldn’t matter #cus she’s not real but i just feel for her so deeply it hurts #katara my beloved #katara #katara my best friend who i have a DEEP parasocial relationship with i will always be on your side #they can never make me hate you #WE COULDVE HAD IT ALL #yes i’m being dramatic but also 100% serious #truly my favorite character of all time and she has been done wrong not only by the writers but by the fans too lord give her a break #i need her to get justice so bad against bryke and everyone who speaks ill on her #god please take all her suffering and give it to bryke #am i being hyperbolic right now? #your guess is as good as mine #zutara #for exposure ig #anti bryke