#you are very mentally ill

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

[aztrosist666]

my mom and her (very well paid) professional cleaner friend cleaned my room and it’s so much less overwhelming oh my godddd shoutout natascha 🤞🤞

#inside of you are two wolves #one wolf is very happy that your room is finally organized and hopes this will be a fresh start. #the other wolf knows that you’ll inevitably let it get messy again but you’ll feel even worse than usual bc someone worked really hard on i #you are very mentally ill #🐋

[abracadaze]

i feel so bad for nikola tesla like imagine spending years beefing with a guy who has conned the public into believing he's some sort of supergenius when in reality it's his overworked employees developing all of his world-changing inventions and you end up dying broke and starving and alone and then 100 years later another guy cons the public into believing he's some sort of supergenius when in reality it's his overworked employees developing all of his world-changing inventions and he's doing it all IN YOUR NAME. he must be rolling in his grave like a fucking rotisserie chicken

#when penelope scott said ''you promised you'd be tesla but you're just another edison'' she was so right. she gets it #edit: now that this is getting popular i just want to say please don't deify/martyr tesla #yes he was dealt an awful hand but he also had some very bad opinions especially towards the end of his life. like eugenics #he was clearly struggling with untreated mental illness and was also a product of his time so i'm not trying to cancel him or anything lol #but people in the notes saying ''my poor baby boy tesla did nothing wrong'' is weird. you know that's weird right. #daze.txt #100 #500 #1k #5k #10k #20k #30k #40k #50k #60k #70k #80k #90k #100k #speechless btw. about the 100k notes thing

[will-of-dumpsterfire]

#saw this in the Naruto fandom from a super old post #had to recreate it #it’s my mental illness and i’ll do what i want #leon kennedy #leon scott kennedy #leon kennedy smut #resident evil #resident evil x reader #leon kennedy x reader #I know where to find my people #leon kennedy death island #di leon kennedy #…he’s very close to the bars of my enclosure #if you made it this far hello

[inkskinned]

something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.

not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.

you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.

but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.

you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.

but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.

you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.

you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?

you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.

you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!

you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"

#this is very obviously about my battle with #ptsd #but i think it's also like a pretty apt metaphor for a lot of things like setting boundaries or going to therapy or choosing recovery #i was thinking about the 'comes back wrong' trope and i was like. oh no i have feelings about this bc i have mental illness #and once i stopped masking - i was WRONG. i was different #here's the good news: i am now INNUNDATED with love. fucking swimming in it. excelling at it. the people who stayed #learned my new self. my new different body and how i am different but i am trying. they have held me so tightly #and my life no longer feels quiet. it is not based in my suffering. it feels like i have been growing a tree in my chest #and now it is flowering. #it is so lovely to be surrounded by people who have said - oh! you cut off so many branches i was worried you weren't the same. but now... #... this is just a new you. and i love you. and i love that you're different and happy. #(but yeah also im nb so i was absolutely influenced by Trans things)

[autumnalmess]

Hey man sorry I've not posted in a while, it's a funny story actually. I actually got arrested for stealing bread for my sister and her seven starving children. yeah, it was pretty bad. I tried to escape 3 times so yeah I got 19 years, yeah and then I broke my parole and now there's this slutty little man after me, yeah I think he has a crush on me or smt idk

#jean valjean #javert #bro im so sorry i fully ABANDONED that fanfiction #ive become the very thing i sought to destroy #I'll probably go back to it at some point.... #les miserables #victor hugo #les mis #les misposting #valvert #in all seriousness I'm really sorry if you were committed to the fic i know a lot of people were but im going through the incredibly #horrible palaver of completely losing interest in a hyperfixation #who knows maybe one day ill go mental and write all of the rest of it

[nymphacae]

happy b4 day to all who celebrate

#this is very old i made this like.....carry the one.....one?? two years ago??? #still cant draw but i still love them and you should too #my art #infinity train #infinity train fanart #rymin #ryan akagi #min-gi park #dont let your mental illness stop you from posting terrible content online

[kitamars]

in my ponykata feels rn

#ough. ough #toshi……….save me……toshi……save me toshi……… #my son. he has 97 mental illnesses and is banned from most public spaces #i do wish we could have seen more of him……..he’s so ………….stray cat behaviour #just bushu era shinsengumi would have been very funny #just a bunch of country bumpkins #lead up to the ever popular edo workplace comedy #i should be doing homework but AUGHHHHHH #anyways it was my birthday on the 25th yahoo #doodling a bunch as a treat hehe yippee #im experimenting with my art sm i hope you guys like it #hijikata toushirou #gintama #ok bye

[mkzmerryfriend]

*cracks knuckles* we know Tyler isn’t the original Clancy right? Y’all caught that? Clancy’s bishop was Keons, Tyler’s is Nico, and now “Clancy” is Tyler. Because “scaled and icy” is an anagram for “Clancy is dead” and that album was the one where dema was using Tyler’s popularity for their own purposes. Clancy failed to stop the cycle on his own, and despite already being used as a figurehead for dema, Tyler decided to take up the role of “Clancy” in the wake of what seemed like a total collapse of the Banditos. Their leader had been taken out, and now they had no one to organize them.

But Tyler taking on the name Clancy isn’t him taking on the role of leader or even organizer. He is showing us (the Banditos) that we all can be our own inspiration, we don’t need a figure to follow, we don’t need a leader to lead us. We can do this, fight dema, ourselves.

Y’all got that, right?

#twenty one pilots #twenty øne piløts #tøp #Clancy #tøp clancy #I just don’t ever see anyone talking about the lore connections and I need to know that I’m not the only person making these connections #bc I remember the countless interviews where Tyler reiterated that he is not Clancy and the letters are not written by him #and in the letters clancy explains how each person gets a bishop assigned to them and his was keons #and in Nico and the niners tyler sings he’ll always try to stop me that Nicolas Bourbaki #therefore the bishop we see in the videos interacting with tyler is Nico and not keons #let alone the fact that Clancy describes keons as kind and gentle and Nico seems very forceful in comparison #and don’t forget this is all a metaphor or allegory for depression and mental illness #Clancy’s bishops being kind and caring while Tyler’s is scary and forceful is representing the different ways mental illness can menifest #maybe it feels like it’s trying to help you but it’s actually just keeping control over you #or maybe it scared the shit out of you but you don’t know how to fight back #because both kind of have a point #anyway #pls let me know if this was new information or if I’m preaching to the choir

[samble]

"homura is an evil abuser who wants to control madoka and hates their friends" tired trope, canonically untrue, congrats on falling for the facade put up by a middle schooler.

"homura sees herself as inherently evil and abusive due to her upbringing, past actions, and status as a witch, which is still ongoing even at the end of rebellion" fresh, new, actually closer to canon, doesn't demonize a child for being mentally ill.

#pmmm #madoka magica #do you understand. do you see my vision #it is VERY VERY COMMON for people (esp kids) to see themselves as edgy and evil when they're 'normal' over minor things #eg kids who listen to metal and think they Cannot Be Understood..... #let alone literal child who has spent almost 1/2 her life in a time loop watching her friends die a dozen times #even nowadays due to Trauma Stuff and mental illness i deal w being like #'wow im an awful evil person for [minor offense] [intrusive thought] etc' #im not even a 14yo raised orphan catholic who lived over a decade in a loop failing to save my friends #and!! EVERYONE ignores that homucifer IS A WITCH. #witches canonically CANNOT CONTROL THEIR ACTIONS (oktavia attacking her friends etc etc etc) #even if she's 'not entirely a witch' or one w more control she's still canonically influenced by her despair and misery at the end of it #see: her familiars running around her soul gem 'whispering' to her etc #'homura is an evil abuser w no good qualities' posts (esp in 2024??) drive me up the wall ffs #sambling

[caeslxys]

inhales. imogen is such an amalgamation of so many different cr villains thematically and in her motivations that the most profound difference between them is very simply that she wants and therefore chooses to be good and kind at every turn.

she is delilah's love and ludinus' wrath and lucien's increasingly blind desire for power and liliana's fear and otohan's purpose and she is none of those things at all. THE most character of all time. exhales

#posting this here too. for posterity #critical role #imogen temult #she is so. SO. #I WISH I HAD THE MOTIVATION TO SIT DOWN AND FINISH HALF OF THE WIPS I HAVE ABOUT HER. ALAS. I AM MENTALLY ILL. MUCH LIKE SHE #thoughts #holds laudna and imogen in my arms. you ever put every ounce of love you can't hold for yourself into another person. cool sick tight #I'm normal. so are they. inarguably so #this is an imogen post and here I am including laudna in the tags. how predictable. how very imogen of me

[distort-opia]

ao3 commenter: wow I noticed this pattern in your works that might be saying something about your psyche! why do you think this one thing repeats in your fics?

me:

#finally sitting down to reply to comments and man =)) #a very nice comment actually but this sent me. pondering on how exactly to go #'well you see. I've got attachment issues and I'm projecting them on the bat furry with mental illness' #rants.txt #writing #ao3

[oneday-yourside]

Being released into the wild after a lifetime in captivity

#i have so many feels about being treated as an animal for being disabled and mentally ill and all that by one's society #and harry just is that #its hard to explain so i drew this instead #being thrown into the world and just expected to function even though no one ever told you how #he's my babygirl #disco elysium #harry du bois #harrier du bois #de #my art #very quite proud of this one #why dont i use refrences more often...

[schizopositivity]

remember if you care about mentally ill people at all:

no straitjackets for halloween

no "crazy person" costumes for halloween

no escaped psych ward patient for halloween

no whatever the fuck this is

were real people not scary characters to dress up as

#luckily this specific costume in the picture has since been taken down after backlash #but you can still very easily find the other examples of costumes online right now #but please dont its not scary its not funny its real peoples lives #psychosis #schizophrenia #schizophrenic #nd #mental illness #neurodivergent #actuallyschizophrenic #pseriouslypsychotic #mental health awareness #halloween #spooky #halloween costume #halloween costume ideas

[wortcunningwitch]

PSA: my blog is NOT for people who believe crystals can cure disease, mental illness, chronic conditions, disabilities, etc. or people who believe crystals can substitute modern medicine and be effective in the slightest. yes, this includes people who say crystals can “help with depression/anxiety/etc”.

#saying crystals can ease certain symptoms of mental illness is a VERY slippery slope to saying crystals can cure said illnesses or more #if by ‘crystals can help depression’ you mean crystals can boost your mood #then stop misusing words like depression and anxiety. say what you really mean #my stuff #witchcraft #crystals #pseudoscience

[radlymona]

TRAs having no empathy yet again

Teenagers who are pushed towards transitioning aren’t “pushovers” they’re mentally and emotionally vulnerable young people who shouldn’t be allowed to make life-changing medical decisions. Acknowledging this fact isn’t stopping adults from transitioning. It just aims to stops other vulnerable teenagers from doing the same.

#love how they quote peer pressured because deep down even though know they’re speaking with an incorrect euphemism #being told you’re at risk of suicide if you don’t transition is not peer pressure ffs #they hate their own community so so much #gender critical #also I’ve known very mentally ill people in the early 20s who have also transitioned #out of acknowledged internalised homophobia #one of them especially is having several mental breakdowns per year and is still allowed to transition #going into a shitload debt as he does so #they’re always willing to acknowledge how the medical industry preys upon vulnerable people except when it comes to comes to gender ID #then the medical industry can do no wrong