#going into a shitload debt as he does so | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

silent-sanctum · 11 months

Note

Do you do AUs? If you do, may I request Jotaro x fem!reader where he is a mafia boss? 💖💖💖

Oh anon, I absolutely love writing AUs, they're actually my specialty ^^ So I had a nice time writing this one for you. Everyone say thank you to anon for the request~ Granted, mafia aus are the fics I'm not too well-versed with, but I did my best! Hope you and the others enjoy it!💖

Lowlife Princess - Jotaro x Reader

word count: 9.9k+

3 minuscule clangs echoed throughout the darkened ballroom, followed by the screams of pain.

How unfortunate was it to think that this space used to harbor so much events may it be a drinking fest to drown the glutinous, a town hall meeting to indulge the corrupt, hell maybe even an orgy to satisfy the lustful.

Though with a couple of crimson smeared on the walls, unhinged doors cast aside useless on the floor, ruined furniture rid of their contents, and shattered glass from tall windows, the once grandeur of the hall has now been reduced to a decrepit room for slaughter.

All because the greedy politician couldn’t pay his debt.

Within the four corners, men in tailored suits stood by with an assortment of weaponry in their hands- a barbed bat, bladed steel, warm-tipped guns, etc. They remained still and stood to block every path of escape, watching their leader circle around his victim with a simple revolver in hand.

Around him, countless bodies of his guards lay motionless. All done by his hands. Red filled the spaces unoccupied by their corpses. His family was left unharmed but kept under close surveillance in case they try to flee and report.

And of the old coot? He’s bound to the singular chair in the middle of the room, stripped down to his sweat-soaked undershirt and piss stained boxers. 2 bullet wounds punctured his thighs, one each, bleeding profusely down his legs, while the last blew his right ear right off.

With the man stopping before him, the politician whimpered. “I-I swear the money was on its way 2 days ago! You can check my messages for proo-”

“I don’t give a fuck about your messages,” the boss gritted out, gripping the chair’s arms to lean forward with a deathly glare. “You owe us a shitload of funds and this is the third time you haven’t paid what’s due.”

This was also him being extra generous mostly due to this guy’s history with his family, but at the first sign of noncompliance, he won’t be tracing his roots just to spare one influential man. There are many other fishes in the sea after all.

He eyed the darkening skies outside the window and clicked his tongue. “It’s getting late. Might as well loot all your possessions and hack into your accounts to find my severance pay.” At the snap of his fingers, 4 of his men bowed and got to work in an instant.

With a cock of his head, another brandished a knife to slice the ropes off of the quivering politician. The adult immediately planted his face on the cold floor in a full bow, still whimpering. “T-Take all that I have! Just p-please let me go! I’ll find more ways to pay you more!”

The leader pulled out a handkerchief to wipe his blood-tipped gun, not looking at him. “I already let you go.”

A sliver of hope grew on his pathetic face. “Does that mean you’ll spare me?”

“No.”

Another bang echoed within the spacious area and the politician dropped to the ground with the others, a bullet lodged through his forehead.

He spared no more time watching his corpse rot on the floor and turned on his heels with the swish of his long coat. His men stood aside as he crossed through the door frame. “Report to me the details of the ‘transactions’ at my office. Understood?”

“Yes sir!”

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

Jotaro Kujo was what one would describe as “ruthless yet reasonable”.

Being the 3rd patriarch of his family bloodline at the age of 28, he was a smart figure with a penchant for methodical violence. He had a lot responsibilities managing the Sangyosei, one of Japan’s most dangerous yakuza clans, infamous for its reputation of gaining followers through material benefit and killing traitors with prolonged torture.

It wasn’t hard but the fact that the 1st patriarch, Jonathan, established the Joestar mafia lineage in Europe and the 2nd, Joseph, in North America, it made the whole structuring a whole hierarchy from the ground up a hassle to deal with.

But it took him a couple months of proving what he’s capable of to his lackeys and enemies, until the Japanese mafia has solidified its place with its current reputation.

And while power felt good to many, he would thrive in it if he didn’t have to deal with … other matters. Paperwork. Interviews. Secret meetings. Training. Dealing with backstabbers.

Jotaro needed a break once in a while. Good grief.

He stepped out of his car, unbothered by the amount of blood painted on his long black coat, and walked through the clan headquarters' main entrance, followed by his men behind him. “Good day, sir.” Two maids bowed upon entry.

“Kakyoin, any updates on the tasks I told about earlier?” Jotaro paid no attention to the ladies’ greetings, instead shrugging off his coat to dump into their arms for wash. “I’m expecting an increase of numbers.”

A man with red curled hair decked in a sharply-pressed olive green suit stepped aside from the line of soldiers, a tablet in hand displaying the needed information. “Yes sir. Accordingly, I’ve received reports from Polnareff that whatever Takahashi had in his possessions, they managed to sack everything valuable he had in his manor and wired all his saved money into your account.”

He handed over the device into the boss’ hand as the two reached the top of stairs where his office situated. Jotaro flicked through the images of accessories and priceless décor and read the success notification of money transferred. “And the clean-up?”

“Avdol already ordered them to get rid of the bodies,” Kakyoin said as he opened the door for the raven-haired to enter. Behind them, two stationary guards stood by to shut them close.

And behind shut doors, Jotaro could finally let that menacing mask off his face for once and slump onto his chair, hanging up his hat on the nearby rack beside him. “This is the 5th time someone hasn’t met deadlines. Why do I still bother offering at this point…”

“Well, you could either say it was due to Ms. Holly’s influence on you or your great grandfather’s values,” Kakyoin said.

The boss pinched the bridge of his nose with the hints of a headache coming any minute. “Damn their persevering good will. Makes me wonder why Jonathan started a business this shady in the first place.”

“Hey boss! We’re back!”

The doors burst open to welcome a silver-haired Frenchman with the indigo suit and upbeat personality, and a dark-skinned man beside him who received all the embarrassment for his companion with his persimmon robes. “Polnareff, what did I say about keeping the noise down?”

“Ah come on, it’s just us here. Let loose for a bit.”

Aside from his numerous men working for him, Jotaro kept a close circle of guards around him, those who had better skills and attributes than the rest. Kakyoin, the one who offered his services in exchange for protection from the Kyuketsuki clan, was the one responsible directing his orders to the others and the one who obtains details about almost everything.

Polnareff and Avdol were both transferred from the American branch under the instructions of Joseph Joestar. Those two shared the same role of leading selected groups of men to do Jotaro’s bidding.

Years of working together had granted these 3 adults privilege to be informal with their leader and the latter to be more lenient towards them. However, they all knew very well not too take his generosity for granted.

“Well… what’s next on the itinerary boss?” Pol asked, reaching into his suit to pull out a lighter for a smoke. With his cigarette lit, he tossed the silver item into Jotaro’s waiting hand.

“Imports from Italy are scheduled to arrive at the docks tomorrow dawn.” He brought the small flame to the tip of his cigarette and flicked the lid close with a tiny clang. Blowing out a puff of smoke, he continued. “But I’ve also heard that bastard’s planning a raid to get rid of the stationed guards and loot all the guns from their crates.”

“Should we inform them of the attack?” Avdol spoke out.

“No need. I already phoned the captain of the ship to change the time of arrival from dawn to late evening. Those who were standing by have already received the new schedule and to prepare themselves in the probable case Brando’s lackeys do proceed with the raid.” The leader said, eyeing the map and other paperwork on his desk.

“And the cops?”

“Sent representatives to deal with them. If they do what they’re told accordingly, then we’re in the clear.”

All three nodded. “How about you,” Kakyoin said. “Are you coming with us to inspect the imports?”

Jotaro huffed and pressed the cigarette butt against the image of a blond man smirking at him through the photo.

The cool surface of his revolver grew prominent as he said with a sneer. “Wouldn’t miss an opportunity to take him down along with his bloodthirsty crew.”

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

It was 11:30 in the evening and Jotaro walked through the alleyways leading to the docks with his men trailing behind him.

Prior to his departure from headquarters, he asked for any details if any sudden appearances transpired between 5 to 6 in the morning. Reports told him that several men did arrive fully armed with weapons, bearing the fang and blood tattoos on their skin.

And they were dispatched of at first sight.

Throughout the rest of the day, the raven-haired’s guards continued to monitor the area with sharp eyes, just in case the bastard tried to sneak another raid in an attempt to claim territory. He had another group of guards keeping an eye on nearby windows just in case someone dared to take him out in the clear.

But he arrived at the place the same time the ship delivered his goods with the captain and his crew members lowering the last of them onto the pavement. Around him, his men dispersed to secure the area and stood guard while their leader approached further.

The nearby street light allowed him to glance down and notice the visible red smears still on the wood panels below him and on those surrounding the landing docks. There’s the confirmation.

Though as he was about to move past the two buildings, Avdol spoke behind him. “Boss, you should stay hidden for now. Just so you wouldn’t feel too exposed.”

Jotaro regarded him for a split second and gave one nod. “Open them then but I still plan to have a personal talk to the captain after they load the goods.”

“We’ll just inform about your request to see him. Where shall the meeting take place?” Kakyoin said.

“Bring him to the nearest room here. Clear the area and make sure no one is around. I’d rather meet back at HQ but I know the captain has a tight schedule to follow.”

No further questions were asked and together with his two other personal guards, the red-haired turned to his tablet and went off around the corner.

Jotaro watched Polnareff and Avdol order people to open the crates, and felt satisfaction fill him as soon as he saw the items lifted from the sea of white Styrofoam- Beretta PM12 and MAC-10 sub-machine guns, Beretta 92 and Staccato CS handguns, numerous batches of ammunition, combat knives, bulletproof vests, and a couple of expensive wines and pasta as courtesy from Giorno Giovanna, Passione’s mafia boss- a subset branch of the Joestar business that Jotaro made connections with beforehand.

He shoved a hand into his pant pocket and had the other reach for his phone, informing his assistant to make sure the transaction wired to the young blond end up in success.

Though as he finished with the call, a commotion occurred in the direction of where he came from. He turned to see what caused the ruckus and stepped one foot back at the pack of rats worming around him.

Tiny scattering footsteps grew into regular human footsteps, echoing louder as it drew close. Jotaro reached for his revolver in an instant-

Only for a woman to jump out of the shadows in a panic and grab him with no ounce of decency, hiding behind him. “Help! Help me please!” The fuck? Informing his men of the intruder should be done by now, but she continued to point into the alleyway. “Some thugs are chasing me down! Hide me please!”

On cue, a couple more footsteps could be heard from a distance alongside the audible squabbling of men stating that they heard someone run here. Jotaro kept a firm stance and fixed his attention to the growing noise until a mob of 15 men came barging in with flushed faces and rabid mouths.

He gave one quick scan down their body to find the semblance of some tattoos belonging to a clan only to find none. The leader cocked his head. Just a bunch of predators I see.

One of them walked in front with a bottle of sake in hand with a hiccup. “Oi… you there… I think you should give her to us.”

“Why should I?”

The drunk laughed, turning to his fellow drunkards. “Would you look at this punk?” He spat on the ground. “You gonna regret denying us-”

“Take one step forward and you’ll be the one regretting.” The guy gave one last chuckle and put one foot forward-

Bang.

The sound rang throughout the alley, followed by the dull thud of his body collapsing onto the ground with a bullet wound in his head. Behind him, the woman yelped as she covered her ears from the sudden shot. The remaining mob staggered back in shock.

As if he wasn’t stupid enough, two more of them ran to the yakuza leader’s direction in a blind fit of rage, only for them to meet the same fate as the first with two more blasts of his revolver.

The rest of them cowered at the sight of their fallen brethren and froze on the spot. Behind Jotaro, his own men came running in at the sound of gunfire, and the rushing footsteps were enough for the mob to make a run for it. “Gun them down. All of them and make sure no one escapes.”

No response was needed as Polnareff charged into the shadows with his line of men, while Avdol and Kakyoin remained by their leader’s side.

“You…”

He grabbed the lady’s wrist and kept her securely in his grasp. “You’re coming with us to HQ to sort this little ‘mess’ you brought in today.”

She said nothing but offered him furrowed brows and a scowl in exchange.

“Kakyoin, have the captain wait for one of my calls and tell Polnareff to return as soon as they’re dealt with. And Avdol, secure the imports and bring them to base as soon as possible.”

“I have… other matters to deal with right now.”

Just as they retreated back into the shadows, the resounding gunshots echoed through the night.

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

“Why am I dragged into this?” she said as she stood in the middle of the room, constantly glancing at the men watching her. “I’m the one being chased down yet somehow I’m also guilty enough to be here?”

“You’re here because you trespassed into yakuza territory and grabbed me unceremoniously that would have ended you dead like your chasers,” Jotaro said in return, leaning against his chair. “Consider yourself lucky that I left you alive.”

“Okay fine! I get it was rude for me to just throw myself to you out of nowhere and I’m thankful that you didn’t shoot me immediately,” she rambled on but the leader merely cocked a disinterested brow. “I’ll stop talking then. What do you want? Why did you bring me here in the first place?”

“Bold words for someone trapped in a lion’s den,” Pol spoke up, chuckling.

To which the woman averted her gaze to him with intentional judgment. “First time? What are you gonna do? Shoot me?” The Frenchman spluttered and reached for his gun, only for Avdol to stop him with a visible ‘what are you doing’ look to his face.

“Let’s start things of with some basic details about yourself. Start with your name-”

“Now why the hell would why-”

Multiple guns pointed to her, causing her to shut up with arms up in the air. “Your name, age, and occupation.”

Jotaro heard the lady mumble to herself before heaving a sigh and answering his query. “Y/N. 27. Investigator. You can check my pockets for my ID or badge or whatever.”

Avdol did what she said and found her identification card and badge, both having her in the pictures clear as day. “An informant and detective..,” the Egyptian muttered. “Boss, if we consider her occupation and… distasteful behavior, this could spell trouble for us in the long run.”

“Distasteful?!”

“I hear you Avdol, though with the information learned, we might be able to benefit from it as well.” The raven-haired turned to the woman as he poured himself a glass of imported whiskey. “I presume you’re smart enough to know that by having one yakuza clan save you from those drunks, you’re indebted to us.”

A rebuttal wanted to leave her mouth but with a swallow, she nodded. “Should’ve expected it.”

“You have two choices,” the clan leader presented a wad of bills and a pistol on his desk. “You pay us about 1 000 000 yen for our job and for you to shut up about this whole ordeal-”

“What?! But I don’t have that much mon-”

“Or,” Jotaro held up a hand, not finished with his sentence. “Offer your services to the Sangyosei Clan.”

All three of his personal men turned to him with surprise. Even Y/N widened her eyes at the choice of words. “B-Boss what?”

“Couldn’t we at least just make her one of our eyes in the city?” Kakyoin butted in. “We’ll just make sure she doesn’t end up spilling intel about the underground.”

“It won’t be permanent,” he said in return. “Only for a year or for how long I deem it to be.”

“Does she even know how to fight? Our job isn’t exactly a walk in the park.” Polnareff added to the cherry-haired’s concerns.

“That’s for us to see.” Jotaro snapped his fingers, prompting the attention of everyone in the room. “With the exception of my personal guards, I order for every man in this room to attack her. No guns or blades.”

The lady was appalled at the sudden decision and took in all 6 suited men with their fists up, ready to charge. She made sure to turn to the boss and cocked her head, tonguing the inside of her cheek. “Asshole.”

Admittedly, he didn’t know what to expect but he was curious on how developed she was in terms of combat. At the first advance of a guard, Y/N stepped to the side and elbowed the guy in the ribs, before dodging another incoming punch aimed for her face.

In return, she returned the favor and swept a kick on his knees, toppling him down. On her feet again, she lunged forward to the next guard, grabbed his arm, and twisted around, eliciting a yell from the man. Planting her foot on his back, she launched the guard onto the other one, knocking them both down.

With nimble feet and quick reflexes, she evaded the swings the remaining men had for her. Though, at an opening, Y/N ducked through them and landed a direct chop to one guard’s nape, dodging the last one’s last attempt at a jab. With his momentum lost, she returned the punch with one of her own, delivering a blow straight to his face.

To her luck, she was near the boss’s desk and with no hesitation, went for the pistol and aimed the gun at Jotaro.

“Boss!”

But the raven-haired only smirked, watching as Y/N tried to pull the trigger only for nothing but a dull click to come out. “Impressive. You’ve indeed excelled in your combat training for you to handle 6 grown men with no weapon… aside from reaching the fake model to shoot me with.”

“How’d you-”

“Quick look into your online profile and messages addressed to martial art trainers both new and old will do wonders in providing me information. Combined with your fearless attitude and your chosen career path, one could put two and two together.”

In a flash, Y/N yelped as he swiped the fake gun off her hand in a second, and pointed his revolver to her in the next. “Makes me wonder why you couldn’t fend off the bastards in the alleyways.”

“They were more than double of the men you have in this room, most armed with something. Even I have my limits boss-nim,” she scowled.

Jotaro huffed and gestured for Polnareff and Avdol to move. “Take her to her quarters. I’ll have my men fetch your essentials from your residence and you can start training tomorrow.”

Y/N clicked her tongue with irritation, but allowed the two guards to bring her to the ordered location. At their exit, he exhaled one long sigh, removing his hat to run his fingers through his black curls.

“I hope you know what you’re doing…” Kakyoin muttered quietly.

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

What was promised to be a year or two turned to five.

And the next thing Jotaro knew was that Y/N rose in ranks, earning her a spot in his close circle of guards alongside the three men.

She was his right hand man.

And in an unexpected turn of events, he had strange fondness for her.

He could still remember how she performed during her first few weeks at headquarters despite her initial wish of just wanting to get out of her unfortunate situation. The leader had watched her sessions and monitored her performances.

He had to give it to this lady- she knew her way with weaponry as she was with physical combat.

She had near to perfect aim whenever she shot with the gun of her choice, had prowess in handling knives around their test dummies, and had able to withstand daily endurance tests that checked how good her stamina was.

With further research, Jotaro found out that you were an honors graduate at a police university that just so happened to have a club centered around martial arts. He double checked the images depicting her in the institute’s uniforms, scanned several lists she was in.

In every single one, she was there and he didn’t have to search further when her name would often be among the top students.

No wonder Y/N had no issues talking with criminals at their home base.

As days passed and she was given her own set of suits post training period, she was allowed in fulfilling assignments and thus followed orders from either Polnareff and Avdol to made sure whatever was asked was done, may it be to keep watch on a specified target, gun down non-compliant debtors, or secure an important object from a neighboring prefecture.

In the process, Y/N managed to be close friends with the two group leaders and his assistant:

“Hey you know, you’re not that bad as I initially thought.” Polnareff laughed, patting Y/N’s back.

“Really? But I do recall you wanting to shoot me when I was extra bratty that day…”

“Well who wouldn’t? Besides, you’re cool now. You do your job as a goon pretty well!”

She scoffed with a smile and a glass of alcohol in hand. They did come from a new mission to kill a new target and now they’re here in a small pub with blood splattered clothes. “Now that I think of it, I’d be annoyed by myself too, but… you’re right. After all, I do my job the best to my capabilities. Whatever it is.”

“To that I give my cheers to.”

“Is everything secured?”

“Hm, with Group A having returned fully loaded from floors 3 and 4 and Group B having cleared ground and 2nd floor and have helped with the other men, then I’d consider this a successful raid.”

Avdol smiled to himself, contented with a cleared task. “Though I have to say, it’s quite surprising that the Viper gang had several meditation books kept in one of the shelves.”

“And you’re saying this why?”

“Well, outside the bloodshed stress that I found myself in, I’d take most of my free time meditating in my room.”

“A zen person I see,” Y/N chuckled. “I figured you’d be one to let out some pent-up hassle through relaxing means.”

She crossed her arms and sighed. “I doubt our job won’t get any easier so Avdol-san,” you brought up one of the gang’s meditation books for the dark-skinned man to see. “Mind teaching me some of these relaxing methods you’ve mastered?”

With the rest of Jotaro’s men now heading back, the red-haired had stalled for a moment in the area of the interview to record the details of the events, making him more vulnerable to potential-

“Kakyoin!”

He turned around in shock at the sudden ambush of enemies heading straight for him. Though the guy had his gun prepared, he wouldn’t last too long. He pocketed his tablet in an instant and shot a couple of men down.

Y/N made the risk of running back into the fray to pull Kakyoin out of the line of fire. However, in the process of doing so, two bullets grazed her thigh and bicep, causing her to grunt in pain. “Shit! What the hell were you doing just standing there, you idiot?!”

Still on the run and frantic, the assistant reached for his phone to call for the men to return immediately, emphasizing the injury of his companion.

They ducked into the many lines of trees and hid themselves in a small cave hidden underneath moss-covered rocks and shrubs. “If your call did make it through and we keep quiet here, then we’ll make it out here alive.”

“Why’d you save me? You were already out of danger’s reach.”

She stared at him, stunned as if he spoke a different language. “Are you kidding? Don’t you know how mafia rules work? And I’m saying this as someone who’s newer to the clan.” She rose an arm to swat him, but forgot about her wound that she hissed in pain. “No one leaves brethren behind.”

Kakyoin pulled out a handkerchief to temporarily bandage the wounded spot. Y/N offered her own to deal with the one on her thigh. Just then, he let out a silent chuckle and she stared at him with confusion. “You’re right. I get too invested in my job too much that I tend to forget the most common of senses.”

She rolled her eyes with a disbelieving smile. “You sir are indeed an idiot.”

Beyond their small hideout, multiple rounds of gunfire rang throughout the forest together with the panicked screams of the attackers. “You’re gonna tell this to the boss, aren’t you?”

His acquaintance leaned on her good arm and responded with a cheeky smile.

Naturally, months of working together would eventually lead the once-hostile investigator to befriend his tightly-knit circle through violent yet worthwhile experiences. But Jotaro had also expected that organic growth of kinship to extend farther, stretching from his three personal guards to him directly.

Her ability to quickly adapt in any environment and headstrong personality were two factors that could penetrate through the Sangyosei leader’s intimidating aura. That was one thing… her providing insightful strategies and actively hanging out with him knowing he’s one of the country’s dangerous underground leaders were another.

And Jotaro, for the first time in his clan leader life, didn’t know how to respond to the woman’s clever approaches except with appalled intrigue.

“And if we turn to this side of the Hokkaido prefecture, there’s a gap here that will allow us entry to the Lotus gang’s hideout, and if we’re lucky, we’ll get some intel about the Kyuketsuki and their true motives.”

“But I see a slight problem in the plan and it has to do with the crowds we’re dealing with,” she said as she showed Jotaro the printed images of several people bearing lotus and/or blood-fang tattoos, standing guard or in the motion of surveying the area.

“These just came in from your men scouting the area and knowing the gang’s leader’s history of mischief and traps, they pretend to be unprepared to lure in prey.” Y/N said. “And who knows if they have goons on standby inside potential loot locations.”

“What do you suggest then?”

“We play the counter bait.” She reached for a pen and traced a circle on the area highlighting the gang’s main entrance. “If there’s another fact I’ve learned from the guy, he’s an addict to a good gambling game, and once he’s in, he’s in it to win it. Get one or two of your associates to deal a bet against his team and a distraction is set.”

“You got the head occupied but you’re aware of the guards still surveying the area.”

“That’s what everyone thinks, but I’ve studied his patterns long enough to know that once he’s in the middle of a game, he calls in everyone to watch the game in the main arena, because his pride is what fuels him, more so when he doesn’t have a single loss in his track record.”

She introduced three pairs of photos on top, all depicting a raving event featuring the gang’s leader and his cronies and empty pathways at the same time. “I’d know because it has happened thrice.”

“Even if he did leave some men on guard, it’ll be less and we’ll have enough workforce to take them down with the handy silencer equipped.” Y/N tilted her head, a finger under her chin. “Then we can ambush the remaining men from the shadows and capture the Lotus gang leader for info about the Kyuketsuki clan.”

Jotaro didn’t supply anything in return, speechless. Y/N turned to him with one raised brow. “What?”

“You are… very knowledgeable about a gangster mob that’s known to be discreet from the public.”

“Well you forget that I worked as private investigator for multiple clients. Nearly half of their complaints described the details of the same man you are targeting for. Call it a stroke of luck that you got me here now or else you guys would be in one hell of a night.”

And she did not disappoint. Her strategy was what earned Jotaro and his men a successful finish to a mission as his guards took the enemy crowd by surprise and shot them all down before they could launch a counterattack. Their leader, who was drunk with material wins and alcohol, was caught in the middle of his escape.

The bastard did spill intel about the bloodsucking yakuza, but he shared a bit more information than what Jotaro had initially expected.

“All you fucks searching for those leeches when there’s a bigger threat than that clan of his,” the Lotus leader said with his arms bound behind him on a chair. “Kyuketsuki this, Kyuketsuki that. I teamed up with them in the first place because I need to stay safe against the impending conquest of the Seiikigumi.”

“The Seiikigumi?” Jotaro asked, curious.

“Those guys are the real deal. Multiple mob houses and a clans have either fallen or submitted themselves to the mercy of that organization,” he said. “Scary thing is that no one in this city knows about them but Brando and high-paying info brokers.”

He did remember rumors of the mysterious yakuza clan spreading during his first years as leader, but he never saw any evidence to prove their existence. For all he knew, gangs fall because they were too disorganized and had high chances of getting caught by enforcement. Clans, especially the smaller ones, were disbanded due to insufficiency in human and financial resources.

“The Seiikigumi… I’ve heard of the rumors before,” Y/N muttered, deep in thought. “But people only told me details of them as if it’s a novel. I’ve yet to see a member of that group or their actions for myself.”

“Oh they’re real alright,” the bound man said with a grin. “So you better watch yourselves and be careful to not pry too much, or else the Sangyosei clan will be next on their chopping board.”

“The Lowlife Princess will have you as her next meal.”

Jotaro shot him clean in the head as soon the man started to cackle.

His words retained in his mind all throughout the rest of the day which was foolish for him to do. He had better more practical things to do than to fret about a myth. Yet, he found himself deep in thought in the middle of a meeting.

Eventually, it came to his realization that he was too busy scrounging his memories for any links to the Seiikigumi so he could devise something to prevent them from infiltrating his clan.

“Hey boss.” Jotaro blinked out of his mental thoughts and immediately made eye contact with Y/N standing before him in his office. “I’ve noticed you’ve been preoccupied with something. Is it what the Lotus leader said the other night?”

He sagged back against his chair and rubbed his temple, a mild headache starting to grow. “It’s nonsense but I’m here wondering why some drunk bastard is making me overthink.”

“You know, you’ve been busy lately- well, 24/7 if we’re being honest,” she said with casual tone, leaning against his desk with her back to him. “Have you even took breaks once in a while?”

“I have no time to let loose when anything could happen at any time,” he said. “Right now, I’m waiting for Kakyoin to update me on the whereabouts of the Kyuketsuki’s eyes. They’ve been too quiet recently and it peeves me off.”

“At this rate, you’re going to die from stress.” She turned to look over her shoulder. “How about we book the small, private restaurant nearby and eat? I heard the meals they got there are to your liking.”

Jotaro didn’t reply and instead stared at her with deadpan. Y/N rolled her eyes and lifted a white plastic bag filled with different boxes and cups inside. “Figured you’re gonna decline my every offer, but I insist you eat. You wouldn’t want the Sangyosei to find their boss dead on the floor due to starvation, would you?”

He was about to reject and suggest she share the meals with the other 3, but his guts had to betray him in that exact moment via a small growl. Jotaro closed his eyes in self-disappointment and Y/N smiled, smug as ever. “Chow time leader-nim.”

Starting from that offer to take-out lunch, the clan leader had granted the woman access to his social circle the same he gave to his personal guards. Where it stemmed from simple offers of drinks and food, slowly spiraled into conversations that didn’t involve the underground world, and eventually to flirting- both the subtle ones together with the direct.

That was the thing with her- she knew what she was doing, knew when to balance work and all the other stuff that was out of Jotaro’s field of specialty. One moment she’d assist him with formulating strategies and carry out orders as if it was merely shopping, and the next she’d share the most absurd stories about a client’s dead pet and its relation to a murder case while wasted beside him.

Y/N’s hardworking work ethics and clever planning eventually earned her spot as Jotaro’s right hand with the whole clan agreeing with the choice unanimously.

With her current position, she was able to connect with him more than before as she was able to follow him everywhere with no permission required. It gave her the power to convey approved orders to his men, acted as his advocate to associates wanting security, and watched over training sessions while he was busy with more serious matters.

With her by his side, Jotaro could feel himself getting swayed by her assertive charms and given how it seemed a heavy weight was off his shoulders, he had no complaints.

She’d start making advances that weren’t too subtle towards him- a sultry whisper into his ear, a brush of her hand against his, shared hooded glances, the press of her body against his in tight spaces, the quiet bickering of the two that contained suggestive innuendos-

It was unbearable, though not necessarily in a bad way.

The one that made the tightly-strung tension snap was the night Y/N made the conscious decision to walk into his office, fresh from a nightly sponge dressed in a silk robe while he in a dress shirt and vest. The raven-haired man swept his gaze up and down at her form with an intense look to his gaze, covering his actions with a quick “what are you doing?”

According to her, she came in with urgent news about the immediate sighting and dispatch of Kyuketsuki members making a move of sorts in the Gifu prefecture. At closer inspection, he learned that at that location, Brando kept majority of his weapons in storage, likely also containing maps leading to several more of his undisclosed bases.

If it were any other day, he would take note of the report and dismiss the reporter, but he kept her in the room longer than what should be.

“What’s wrong? Aren’t you going to send me to my quarters, boss?” Y/N said while she had the gall to cross her arms under the swell of her breasts.

Jotaro stood with furrowed brows, never cutting eye contact as he walked to her in an almost predatory way. “Do you think what you’re doing is funny?”

The closer he got to her, she walked back until she found herself against the wall. “What exactly am I doing boss-nim?” She tilted her head up to face the frustrated clan leader and narrowed her eyes as if to challenge him. “Am I annoying you greatly?”

“Don’t play dumb with me. You know exactly what you’ve been doing and you’re right-” He slammed his hand on the space beside her head. “You’re driving me crazy, you vixen.”

Y/N scoffed, lips curling into a coy smile as her fingers threaded over the buttons of his vest. “Is that so? Why don’t you fire me then?” She purred. “Send me back to the world above the underground where I can expose your plot to the public?”

He clicked his tongue and leaned forward until his voice came out as a growl into her ears. “I’d be damned if I do such a thing.”

“So what are you gonna do, hm?” She whispered.

“I’ll make you shut up the way you like it.”

In the darkness lit only by the light of the full moon, Jotaro had her pressed up against the wall, robe cast aside as he fucked her with vigor, releasing all his pent up stress that accumulated throughout the times she teased him. Y/N whined and cried with every harsh pound of his hips against hers, every inch of her shivering from the intensity of it all.

Once she came, Jotaro flipped her around to let her face him as he lifted her up and thrusted back into her warmth with no hesitation. Y/N tossed her head back and moaned a loud cry, hands grasping his dress shirt with desperation. With her chest bouncing in front of him, he took the opportunity to bite and suckle on the hardened bud, prompting a second orgasm out of you.

He railed her to oblivion to no ends, carrying her over to his office desk only to fuck her over it with the same stamina as the first round. She gasped, breathless as her body rocked back and forth against the smooth surface of his table.

By the time her third orgasm hit her, Y/N still found herself on her back on the same furniture, unable to focus her vision and control herself from drooling at the overstimulation of Jotaro’s rough thrusts.

He never gave her the time to breathe, irritation still bubbling in him. As soon as she came yet again, he maneuvered both of them to his chair, where he planted Y/N on his lap, fucking up into her hear and letting you ride and bounce on cock.

Her body started to grow weary but her moans and cries were still loud as ever, addressing his title with every stimulated cry. Even at that, Jotaro grew annoyed. He wanted her to shout his name.

And so, the second she tightened around him for the fifth time, he held her close to him and pressed the tip of his nose into her neck, trailing it up until his lips grazed the shell of her ear. Raspy from his nonstop grunts, he muttered. “Beg.”

Y/N croaked out her words with unfocused, glassy eyes and a foggy mind resulting from the brutal poundings. “P-Please… boss-”

“Jotaro,” he whispered into her ear, emphasized with a slow yet deep roll of his cock against her walls. “I want you to cry out that name every time I fuck you.” Just like that, he suddenly bucked his hips upward, eliciting a ravishing cry out her reddened lips, one that only bore his name.

As his own release drew closer, his pace turned erratic and his thrusts increased in both speed and intensity, but to hear this woman plea his name over and over again just as she’s told was gratifying for the yakuza leader.

Wringing out one last orgasm out of her, Y/N jerked and let out a silent scream, a stream of clear liquid gushing out of her hole the same time Jotaro groaned and stiffened, feeling his release shoot into her soaked and loosened pussy.

Damn. He was exhausted.

Jotaro panted, sweat beading down his body as Y/N’s sweat-slicked body lay limp against his torso, feeling fluids leaking down his cock and seeping into the fabric of his slacks.

He turned to look at her to check on her current condition. She passed out from their wild escapade, cheeks flushed, panting with ragged breaths with stray hair plastered on her forehead from sweat. Her arms hung over his shoulders, no longer clawing lines onto his shirt.

Strangely enough, he was compelled to brush the hair off her forehead and plant a soft kiss on the area, before lifting her ass up to free his softened cock and arranging her body into a bridal hold to carry her over to his bedroom.

Ever since that night, no words were needed to convey that Jotaro’s relationship with Y/N became more than just simply that of “boss-guard”. They grew addicted to each other, craving that intimacy every moment it was just them in the comforts of closed doors. They would spend time in private establishments to plot, chat, eat, drink, and fuck.

Eventually, she wanted more. She wanted to claim his heart and so brazenly expressed her desires to him. And who’s he to decline her temptations at this point? Y/N was perfect in every aspect- a strategist, communicator, soldier, leader. Why would he refuse someone possessing those talents?

Just as she yearned for him, he gave into her allure, letting this woman become his queen.

But was it for the best?

Months after they had made it official, Jotaro decided to make a move to infiltrate one of the Kyuketsuki’s buildings in Gifu. Everyone in his circle had gathered around to discuss matters of the task, devised multiple plans on how to raid Brando’s precious armory.

Once all was clear and a plausible map of operations were made, he and a selected group of men chosen by Y/N, traveled to the marked location. Avdol had volunteered to join the venture as to provide extra security for his boss, while Kakyoin and Polnareff stayed behind to watch over for him.

It took them a while to get there, considering the distance between Tokyo and Gifu was fairly long. If it weren’t for the pathways formed exclusively for illegal transport, he wouldn’t be able to make it in time to weaken Dio’s forces, causing double repercussions for the territory he left without his watch.

But Jotaro reached the Kyuketsuki’s armory by nightfall and set everything into motion. He stationed his guards in their planned positions, with Avdol leading half of them to stay put in the shadows to serve as Jotaro’s eyes and keep watch of reinforcement, while he and Y/N lead the other half into the building, fully armed and cautious.

They crept through the darkened hallways that were eerily too quiet for a building supposedly filled with lackeys who often indulged in casual games and alcohol. “Boss,” Jotaro glanced at Y/N. “The firearms are found in the hangar in the left wing, but the documents and maps are kept in the right where the offices are located. Do you wish for me to help in retrieving the guns or-”

“I’ll lead the looting. You focus on giving me the paperwork,” he said. “Remember to keep an eye out. Who knows where they’re hiding.” She nodded once and split from the group at the next intersection between the two wings.

Something’s off. Why is no one here? Even as he first arrived, all the building’s lights were off. Not a single fluorescent lamp shining through a window, a lamp from a nearby shed, nothing. No goons were roaming around either, the footsteps of a patrol was non-existent. A chill crept up his spine. This is wrong. What happened?

As someone who’s been bested twice by him, Dio should have placed numerous men around his goods just as he always did to ensure nothing else would be stolen to maintain whatever pride he still had in him. But where were they?

The silence persisted even as he and his men reached the door to the hangar, kept shut with a low-security padlock tied to a chain. Jotaro pulled out his revolver and with a silencer equipped, he aimed and gave two shots before it gave away and fell. He cocked his head to motion his guards to remove the chains and push the door open.

True to the report, what he looked for were waiting for him to grab with crates of firearm stacked on top of each other lay inside while other miscellaneous items such as makeshift bombs and melee weapons lie on shelves. If he looked closer, he could spot a huge safe tucked in a dark corner where cash meant for the lackeys lay inside.

He should be relieved that he didn’t have to spare himself the extra trouble of fighting against a couple of gangsters to retrieve several guns, but he wasn’t because he knew this situation was too unusual and easy for his liking.

Unless-

The door clicked shut behind him and Jotaro spun just as he realized the reality he found himself in. He walked into a trap, but he was a second too late. A hard blow to his head sent him to the ground, warmth leaking out from where the pain came from. He bled from the impact.

He gritted his teeth and attempted to get up only for men, his men, to force him still on the ground, pulling out a white fabric to stuff his face into. Are you fucking kidding me? Jotaro was pinned to the floor, getting chloroformed by his guards.

The last thoughts that circulated his mind before falling unconscious was Y/N. She was caught in this as well and now she’ll be taken captive if she ended up unlucky as he was.

He should have seen this coming.

But why couldn’t he?

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

When Jotaro came to, he was bound in a rather… explicit way that he considered too vulgar for his taste.

He was on his knees, his whole body tied with red rope in a series of complicated knots. It was fortunate that his clothes were still on him or might as well shoot him where he knelt. Above him, a single low-hanging light was the only source of illumination this dark room had. Around him were people surrounding him with sub-machine guns in hand.

And out of the light, a lone figure stood in the shadows with two men standing guard beside them.

He squinted and tried to make out who it was. Dio Brando? Or some other lucky fucker who got a yakuza leader trapped? As a means of verification, he gritted out. “You’re being a coward now? Step out of the dark and face me, Dio.”

“Dio? Oh sweetheart, you couldn’t be more farther than the truth~”

Jotaro stilled, eyes widening and all air leaving his lungs at the familiar voice chirping at him. It was as if a cold bucket of ice had poured over him in an instant. It couldn’t be. How… How did… “Oh damn. I spoke to soon. Literally. But since I’m outed at this point, might as well not be a coward.”

The shadowed figure slowly stalked forward, revealing a woman dressed in a finely-pressed black suit ensemble fused with a black-laced sleeves and posterior half of a lace skirt trailing behind her, and with the culprit under the spotlight, he could see the wide almost excited smirk carved on her face.

“Y/N…”

“The one and only darling.”

He couldn’t fathom how he’s still able to keep it together at the revelation that the woman he saved that night, who served him to no ends for years, who became his lover, ultimately was the woman who would be his downfall. “Oh and you don’t need to worry about Avdol. I already sent them back to HQ, informing him that for investigative purposes, our half of the group had to stay behind a bit longer. And he listened with obedience.”

Jotaro felt a range of negative emotions boiling within him due to the most insulting betrayal he had throughout his life as a clan leader- anger, confusion, surprise, humiliation, hurt. “Explain yourself. There’s no point in talking about anything else now, is there?”

She hummed. “Might as well. Though there’s a lot of stuff I have to dump on you in one sitting unless you want-”

“Just get on with it, bitch.” He spat out, eliciting a delightful “oh?” from the other.

“Reaching curse words now are we? Alright, I’ll start from the beginning until where we are right now then.”

Everything started the night the imports from Italy arrived. With her associates, 80% of the civilians living in his turf, lurking in plain sight serving as her eyes, had updated her constantly on Jotaro’s every move. The same individuals who had sought his clan out for security.

The lackeys that Dio sent in an attempt to steal his weapons were all dealt by Y/N’s men who she called “wraiths”- silent and hidden only to strike at the right moment. The leech’s goons were all taken out by her snipers from the comforts of their undisclosed positions before they could reach the docks.

At the same time, Y/N had hired a group of drunk men she found in the streets, promised them she’d pay them for playing the part of assaulter, only for the promise to be in vain with them ending up dead.

The ID and badge that proved her "profession" as part of law enforcement were fabrications to sell her persona, but her combat skills and her way of handling weapons were very much true. Getting involved with the ruthless underground world would require one to possess at least one of those things.

Throughout her time working as one of his pawns, Y/N would do her job diligently, too diligent to the point where she was able to sneak through his and his men’s watch and kept contact with hers, updating them on new tasks to do that aided her and by proxy, the Sangyosei and she was able to do this without causing suspicion.

The strategies she had formulated were all due to her constant exposure to other clans and mob houses, studying their patterns, way of living, connections, and how their operations worked to find the one loop hole in order to flush her targets down the drain of defeat.

The photos she had presented him all this time, photos of which were high in definition and close to the target, where taken from her wraiths, not his men. How they knew where they were? Turned out she had eyes everywhere- a waiter serving meals, a mother and her child by the swings, a farmer in the fields, a ship captain or his crew members, a passing businessman, a politician’s bodyguard.

She had majority of the population in her grasp.

While they worked externally, Y/N did her part from the inside. She climbed up the ranks until she landed into a position where she shared power that equated to his. With new acquisition of power, she now had control over his men, sending a handful or two out to an empty mission only for them to get gunned down, replaced with wraiths disguised in their clothes.

The same wraiths who accompanied Jotaro to the hangar.

And of the Kyuketsuki’s lackeys who were supposed to watch over the armory? Y/N had them dealt with just as the time during the first day they met, their bodies disposed onto a nearby lake, leaving the building devoid of life.

“Now we’re here with you tied up under my mercy,” Y/N drawled out.

“You’ve got loads of conniving bullshit planned out admittedly well for a leader of a small yakuza clan,” he responded with a glare. “Must be tiring for your so-called wraiths to do so much just to do this.”

At that, Y/N tried to stifle it in but failed to keep the laughter from escaping. “Small? Do you really think my crew is just some fiery underdogs who knows what we’re doing?” This time, the wraiths in the dark laughed after her. “You’ve complimented me then insulted me, oh how do I process this?”

“Who the fuck are you then to spit this much confidence to my face?”

Y/N stopped her sadistic glee and faced him with sudden stoicism. She drew a few steps closer and grabbed his chin, making sure he’s facing her head-on as she sat on her heels and said.

“You’re here with the Seiikigumi darling,” she purred, tilting her head with a growing smile. “Lead by none other but yours truly, the Lowlife Princess.”

All this time… The myth spread around the underground about a mysterious clan taking down multiple others before him. The men skilled enough to not be caught by enemies. The leader responsible for running such business. Everything was bared open for Jotaro to experience first hand as their next target.

To that, he cursed to himself for being foolish to trust a random stranger pleading for help.

“As you’ve may or may not known, I’m notorious for shutting down clans as I please by first killing the boss and either letting loose a mass ambush to every known location where their men are or have them join my side… but-” She cupped his cheeks and held them dear. “You may be my first exception~”

“Just shoot me now and spare yourself the effort,” Jotaro hissed but she paid no attention and shushed him.

“Listen to what I have to say darling~” Y/N said with a pout. “Unlike the other fleabags I had to be with, you’re different. You’re competent, stoic, rich, intelligent, and above anything else, pretty handsome for a yakuza boss. Plus, your personal men were so lovely to be with. I’d hate for them to be killed from the get-go.”

“How about you swear loyalty to me and you get to keep the Sangyosei alive and running? You head back as if nothing happened and do what you do, but to imagine you leading your troops with me as your right hand knowing that you're actually mine to control?” She sighed. “Oh it would be such a waste if I were to do what you just said. I do like having my trophy be shiny with power.”

Jotaro growled. “In your fucking dreams.”

Y/N scoffed, standing back up to step back and pull something out from her pocket. “Of course, I’d expect you to be defiant. I know you too well.” She raised her hand to reveal a button. “Standard protocol for stubborn prisoners is usually torture with the usual go-to stabbing, breaking of fingers and/or toes, and other forms of prolonged physical pain.”

“But since I hold you to a higher regard than the previous victims I’ve kept hostage, I have a different form of torture for you~” She gestured for one of her wraiths to gag his mouth with fabric. “Consider yourself lucky~”

With a press of her thumb on the device, Jotaro widened his eyes as his hips jerked and back arched, letting out a strained groan as something stuck to his cock and nipples started to vibrate with much intensity, and he couldn’t do anything about it with his arms and legs stuck in a compromising position.

“I very much enjoyed the nights where you fucked me so hard I couldn’t think straight. Truly, an experience I’d love to be in again. So in your honor, you get to feel what I’ve felt during those times for the whole night.” She pressed the button and his muscles relaxed, sighing with relief.

Y/N slid the gag off his mouth for a moment and said, “So? Will I expect your compliance by dawn, Jotaro-ssi?”

His body still felt the lingering sensations from where the devices were taped on him and he’d expect worse to come, but he wouldn’t back down. He was better than to give his dignity away to a traitor who more or less, deserved to get killed by his rules.

Jotaro responded with a smug smirk, letting her know he’ll indeed be different than her past captives. “Go fuck yourself.”

And just like the first time she stepped into his office, she tongued the inside of her cheek and ordered for the gag to return to his mouth. She turned on her heels, pressing the button to the highest level, causing him to grunt and quiver from the overwhelming sensation of the vibrations.

The door opened for her to step through, but she paused to say one last thing, looking over her shoulder. “I’ll have you know that you’re being recorded as well. Knowing you’re a man with dignity, it be awful for everyone to know how the leader of the dangerous Sangyosei clan is tied like this, captured and shaking. Just something to consider.”

He locked into her gaze with a deathly glare.

“Though I’m proud of my title,” she smirked. “I’m glad you made me the Queen, and you only have yourself to blame.”

And the door closed shut.

#jotaro x reader #jojos bizarre adventure #jotaro kujo #mafia au #enemies to lovers #got inspired by an album with the same name sharing vibes with seulgi's mini album songs

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choose-your--own-adventure · 11 months

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NAME: Mikah Wabey

PRONOUNS: He/They/Any

AGE: 19

ANYTHING ELSE TO HAVE IN MIND:

he is canonically latino and i'll kill anyone who whitewashes him :D also hes trans, genderqueer and bisexual. also! he has hEDS (hypermobile ehlers-danlos syndrome) so he easily dislocates his joints and occasionally needs a cane or joint braces.

BACKSTORY:

he had to leave home at a young age and move in with his older brother Atlas due to some unfortunate circumstances. he helped atlas run his mechanics shop where he was allowed to get into inventing like he always wanted to. he took his brothers chosen last name (theyre both trans) because fuck their parents </3

some stupid extra facts that i had laying around:

Tried to make wings once, they didn't exactly.. fly. Good thing he did a test run before sending it out to the public! at least he didn't wrack up extreme debt with all the lawsuits he would have gotten! ignore how he fucked up his arm no one tell atlas about that

Studied anatomy and was going to go into biology but never did

tried to find jesus, turns out jesus isn't a 5 ft long mechanical rat that moves and acts like an actual rat, with something similar to artificial intelligence. huh.

you know those guys who go "does this street cat cuddle good?" on tiktok? yeah he does that. cats ADORE him

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:

auugh i don't really know how to do these so ermmm,,, brown eyes, dark wavy hair, he has something similar to a wolfcut for hairstyle, tan with a shitload of moles & freckles, generally has like a skater boy style for his clothing with giant fucking pockets so he can commedically pull out like 5 wrenches. also like 5'11 ish (he bullies his brother for being 5'6 constantly) (i love them)

#intro round

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heavymetalchemist · 3 years

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I think it’s easy to forget that Wei Wuxian is strongly villain-coded. We see the story from his perspective, we know his reasons and justifications, if you’re watching CQL and paying attention you can figure out the core transfer before the reveal. We know that Wen Qing and Wen Ning are good guys. We know that the Burial Mounds gang is a bunch of tired uncle/aunts trying to grow some stupid radishes, a four year old, and the Disaster Bi Gang (none of whom have swords, even!) We know that Wei Wuxian has his heart in the right place, that he feels an incredibly strong debt to the Wen Siblings and by extension their remaining family, that he has no golden core and has no choice but to forsake the sword and cultivate the demonic path, that he defects from the Jiang sect in a fake fight with his brother so that the Jiang sect won’t suffer the consequences of his actions, even though they have Secret Soup later.

But if you’re not us, the audience? If you’re, for example, Sect Leader Yao?

Hey did you all hear about how Wei Wuxian got kicked out of the Cloud Recesses for violently lashing out at the Jin sect heir?

Hey did you all see how he doesn’t carry his sword any more and claims it’s because he’s so badass that he doesn’t need it? And he has that Stygian tiger seal, so maybe it’s not bullshit? Can you even fight against that with a sword?

What kind of power does this guy even have? He’s a teenager! He drinks all the time and he’s moody and surly and holy shit did you hear what he did at that Wen outpost? He tortured all of them to death! Ugly stuff, man. Gruesome way to go. Maybe even worse than what Wen Ruohan did, at least a hot poker doesn’t make you claw your own eyes out.

Oh shit, he just stormed into this banquet and just SAID “if I want to kill someone who can stop me” and he still has that tiger seal I think we should be worried???

He just busted a bunch of Wen cultivators out of prison! And then he ran off to the Burial Mounds??? And his sect leader didn’t even know anything about it? Is he going rogue? Is he starting an uprising? This demonic cultivation stuff really seems to be corrupting him!

Oh man he got kicked out of the Jiang sect? You mean even the man he grew up with, who he was raised with practically as a brother, can’t control him any more? Did you hear about his fierce corpse? They call him the Ghost General! He’s unstoppable! What are we going to do if he comes for us?

He could be building a whole army in there, Sect Leader Jin said so! Who knows what kind of sick, twisted stuff he’s getting up to! Don’t forget all that horrible shit in the Sunshot Campaign, remember when he was raising the Wens’ own dead to turn against them? He could do that to us! He’s working with the Wens now, even! He’s gone totally crazy!

We can’t let some outlaw have all this power. It’s putting the safety of all of us at risk. What if it’s just another Wen Ruohan waiting to happen? (especially applicable if you’re thinking he’s using Yin iron as in CQL!) If we let him consolidate his power too much, then he’ll be unstoppable!

HOLY SHIT he murdered the Jin sect heir and his cousin with his fierce corpse! That’s the man his former shijie married! The one he punched in the Cloud Recesses, remember when the Lans kicked him out because he was so unruly and disrespectful? Yeah! It was probably revenge! Have we done anything to him? Oh gods what if we’re next???

A major point of MDZS/CQL is how important reputation is, and how that affects everything. Wei Wuxian’s reputation is straight-up villainous. We, the audience, know that he’s trying his best, that he’s a traumatized teenager with a shitload of emotional baggage trying to do the right thing and repay a colossal debt, that he’s made choices that he now has to try and live with, etc. But to the rest of the world this guy has fucking lost it, he’s gone off the deep end and he has an incredibly powerful weapon and a mode of cultivation that seems to corrupt you and turn you into a monster, and frankly, they’re not wrong! It does affect his temperament and he does end up killing a lot of people and he is out of control!

MDZS/CQL is interesting precisely because we’re getting an entire Villain Apology Story. A long time ago I read a post by someone on here saying they find Jiang Cheng challenging to write about because he’s the protagonist of a different story, and he really is. He’s the guy whose former shixiong turns into a villain in pursuit of power, the Obi-Wan to WWX’s Anakin, the one who sees how incredible power corrupts and is obligated to fight against it. Having to fight against a former ally who was seduced by “the dark side” (in this case, demonic cultivation) is a story that gets told over and over, but always condemning the one who went to the dark side. He’s the blackened protagonist, the aren’t you tired of being nice, don’t you want to go ape shit power fantasy, where we as the audience can justify his actions because we know he did it to save his brother, his sister, the Wen remnants he owes a debt to. He isolates himself from the people who love him to protect them, he refuses Lan Wangji’s help because he’s convinced he just wants to lock him up and stop him from using demonic cultivation because he’s a righteous upstanding Lan (totally unaware of LWJ’s intense crush, obviously). He jokes about it but he knows he’s being painted as the villain, and he’s in denial about how much that will affect him, because after all… he’s the Yiling Laozu, and he knows his power. But so does everyone else, and they’re rightfully terrified!

And yet? When he comes back, LWJ still wants him, still cares for him, will move heaven and earth to protect him. JC cares about him so much he’s having a Constant Crisis about it. And WWX has not forgotten his shijie or shidi, immediately cares about Jin Ling, and still is the man who really just wanted to be free and grow some goddamn radishes. He accepts that he paid for what he’s done with his death, and just wants to start over.

It just drives me nuts when people pretend like WWX was an angel who did nothing wrong because the whole POINT is that he was a villain-coded gay (well, bi) and the man you had to really watch out for was the polite, thoughtful, soft-spoken one that worked his way up from a tragic backstory. It’s a whole subversion and it’s awesome!

#mdzs meta #wei wuxian #yiling laozu #of course wwx has a good heart but remember when that kid shot an arrow at him and he threw it right back through his heart?#remember when JC and LWJ walked into that Wen outpost and were like oh fuck oh man what the fuck?#remember when he almost busted out chenqing to murder JZX over a SOUP MISUNDERSTANDING?#this is not a wwx hate post this is a pls understand complex characters and nuance post #that audience knowledge is NOT character knowledge #is this a lowkey NMJ defense post? yes.

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slashscowboyboots · 3 years

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The Stars Are a Part of Us: Different Speeds (Part 4)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Tag list @izzysdenimjacket @warrendemachokeme @awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands @smokeandmirrorz @sodalitefully @roger-taylors-car @lost-in-the-80s @whisperess33 @shawolat @80snikki @rumoured-whispers

Warnings: Underage sex, drug use, drinking, implied violence. 18+ ONLY

Notes: Track #2 is by the sadly underrated Cowboy Junkies. It was released in '93, and I wondered if I should include in a fic set in 1987, but then I realized this is fiction and there's no rules! Yayyy! It's such a killer song I had to add it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajtnaiLaJNQ

Checkout was at the ungodly hour of 11, and of course none of the band was anywhere to be found, just Karen perched on a chair in the lobby, still reading her book. Love’s Surrender was the title of it, and Izzy snorted through his nose. Surrendering was probably the last thing this uptight broad ever did.

“Fun night?” she asked, her eyes not leaving her page.

He shrugged. “‘S’all right.”

She lowered her book. “Heard you met Kasey.”

Izzy blinked. “Uh, um, yeah.”

She rolled her eyes, exasperation pulling down her mouth. “Oh, of course you don’t know her name,” she snapped.

“She didn’t know mine either,” he retorted. “She thought I was Axl.”

Karen sighed. “She blew him too.”

“Huh. I thought he was with Velvet.”

Her eyes met his. “Velvet insisted on it.”

Izzy furrowed his eyebrows.

“Hazing ritual. She made Kasey suck him off in front of everyone, then he announced that Velvet was better at it. Velvet always does the local talent dirty.”

Izzy closed his eyes. “Fuck,” he breathed, “you bitches don’t take any prisoners.”

She gave him a hard look. “You’re the wildest band in LA. Did you expect angelic whores?”

Izzy frowned, then said, “You’re not just here because of us, are you? You protect her from the other girls too.”

“No. She’s everyone’s little sister, although I’d kill one of them for doing something to her.” She narrowed her eyes at him again. “I’m here because I think I need to be. Cause if I didn’t, I’d be sitting this shindig out. This is definitely my last rodeo.”

“This is your third tour, isn’t it? You were with Def Leppard too.”

Her eyes widened, and Izzy nearly licked his lips in glee. “Steve is Steve Clark. I found out some dirt about you,” he smirked.

“Choose your next words very carefully,” she said in a low voice.

“You were a groupie. Were you running naked through the hallways too?”

She stiffened, eyes widening and her face going pale, and for a second Izzy thought she was going to slap his face. “No, I was trying to keep him from killing himself, you fucking asshole,” she gritted, then slumped down. “I thought a blow job would put you in a better mood. Guess you’re just a dick 24/7.”

“Sissy!” Celestia cried, flopping down on Karen’s lap.

“Hi, Sis. You and your beau doing all right?”

“Yeah,” Celestia answered, centering herself on Karen’s legs. She was taller than Karen, and was nearly crushing her. “Did I tell you he has an anaconda?”

Karen made a face. “Celestia, I don’t need to hear about that.”

Celestia giggled. “No, he has a snake! His name is Clyde. He has some bearded dragons too.”

Karen shifted in her chair. “That’s lovely, Sis. Who’s taking care of them?”

Celestia hung onto Karen’s shoulders. “Uh, he says someone named Yvonne.”

Karen took a deep breath. “Is that his girlfriend?” she asked gently.

“His ex.”

“Uh huh. And she still has custody of his pets?”

Celestia nodded.

“Then she’s not an ex. An ex would’ve poisoned them.”

“You think he still has a girlfriend?” Celestia gasped.

Karen shot another look at Izzy. “I think they all do. Probably a few kids they don’t know about too.”

Celestia leaped off Karen’s lap. “Omigosh! Slaa-ash! Do you have any kids?”

Slash took a sip from a styrofoam cup and pulled his top hat down over his eyes. “I don’t think so,” he muttered, throwing an arm around Celestia.

Izzy shook his head. “You have a really cynical view of the world, don’t you?”

Karen snorted. “I’m never wrong.”

Izzy took a drag from a cigarette. “Actually, you are.”

“Is he still seeing Yvonne?”

“Hell if I know. But I don’t have a girlfriend. Mine got married. And not to me.”

Karen looked down. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. You write a song about a woman, and she dumps yer ass when you’re drying out.”

“Was it ‘Sweet Child of Mine?’”

He shook his head. “I co-wrote the music on that, but no. I wrote ‘Patience’ for her.”

Karen’s eyes widened in amazement. “You wrote ‘Patience?’”

He stood up and stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray. “Yeah. And you’re wrong about something else too. I’m not a dick 24/7, although you’ll never find that out.”

Izzy leaned over his seat on the bus and looked down at Karen, still engrossed in her book.

“What do you do for fun on the road?” he asked her.

She didn’t look up. “I’m having a love affair with my vibrator.”

“Oh, ha ha, smartass.”

She turned a page. “You think I’m joking. It’s Japanese and has different speeds. I’ll never need a man again.”

Izzy didn’t say anything, but he could feel his eyes getting bigger. Guess you’re not the prude I thought you were.

“Wow, that shut you up,” she chuckled, looking up at him. “Are you bored on the road already?”

He nodded. “I don’t get fucked up anymore, and that took up a lot of time, y’know. I’m not scoring or getting drunk and now I have just…...time.”

“Yeah. Well, I like to read, and being with my sisters. Sometimes, I like to see the towns we’re in, get out of the hotel a little. I like shooting pool. I really like karaoke but I doubt if they have a lot of that here. I’ve seen your itinerary and it wasn’t promising, they’ve got you out in Bumfuck most of the time.” She knitted her eyebrows. “You’re a guitarist, why don’t you play guitar?”

“That’s what I did last night. I don’t know if I can do that every night.”

She cleared her throat. “I’m sure there’s a Kasey in every town. I doubt you’ll be bored for long.”

He shrugged. “That does it for you? Reading all the time?”

She looked up at him. “I rather enjoy being bored. There were many times I was on the verge of a heart attack, and I longed to be bored.”

“Steve kept you hopping, huh?”

She held his eyes for a long time, furious, then dropped her head. “Yeah, he did.” She looked up. “Is that what you want, me to talk about him? Fine. I was in love, he wasn’t, end of story.”

He saw the pain etched in her face, and he let it drop. He lit a cigarette and asked, “You’ve seen our itinerary?”

“Yeah. The record company doesn't have a lot of faith in you, do they?”

He shook his head. “They think we’ll be dead by the end of this week.”

“Those seem like good odds. Where’s your record at?”

“At?”

“The top 100.”

“I dunno, 101 I guess.”

“Is it moving up?”

Izzy blinked.

She sighed. “Okay, how big was your record deal?”

“Two hundred fifty grand.”

She sucked air between her teeth. “You know you have to recoup your costs, right? I’m guessing you have a slew of lawyers and a bunch of court fees too.”

Silence.

“Izzy. Have you talked to MTV?”

He shook his head. “They won’t play our video.”

“You made a video? For how much?”

“$75,000. With Nigel Dick.”

“Ooh, you used a name.”

“That’s bad?”

“Yeah, cause he’s the only one who made money from it.” She lit a cigarette. “Izzy, are you aware you guys are broke?”

“We're getting a per diem.”

“You’re in the hole is what you are. Who are you signed with?”

“Uh, Geffen.”

“Huh. So just one man owns your ass.”

“So what you’re saying is that we’re in debt to the record company?”

“Yeah, big time. I mean, Hoss, if your album tanks, you could be sued.”

He exhaled. “How do you know all this?”

“Because I paid attention when the suits showed up. I knew there had to be a reason for a record exec to leave his wife and kids to hump it all the way out to BFE to talk to the band.” She lit another cigarette. “”Pyromania’ started moving up the charts, and the suits came more and more frequently.”

“Def Leppard are millionaires. I mean, their music sucks, but they made a shitload of money off of it.”

“It took them awhile to make it, though. They had to pay back Mercury, plus they used Marilyn Monroe’s image in the ‘Photograph’ video and it cost them a bundle.” She shook her head. “Your attorney fees will keep you in the red for a while. Especially if you keep playing these podunk towns.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.” Karen took a drag. “Well, maybe the record company is looking out for you. They probably figure you can’t kill yourselves out here in the boonies.”

“IZZY!” Steven shrieked, slapping him on the back. “Howya doin’, brother?”

Izzy smiled. “I’m all right, man. How are you?”

Steven was nearly hopping up and down in his dingy white hi tops. “I’m so excited, man, we’ve got a gig tonight. We’re gonna ROCK Canada, aren’t we, Izz?”

“You bet your ass, Stevie.”

“You!” Steven shouted to Karen. “You, what’s your name? Donna?”

“Karen.”

“Yeaah, Karen. You really should fuck Izzy, girl! He’s cool. Like the coolest brother you could ever have.”

Izzy smirked. “She says she doesn’t need a man, she got a device with different speeds.”

Steven looked horrified, then he grinned. “Well, let him use it on you.”

Karen blinked, and Izzy cleared his throat. “Dude, she’s not into that,” he said.

“Too bad. Fuck, that girl I’m with is insane, man. She ate that girl Kasey out last night for like an hour, man. Then they sucked me off at the same time! I’m living the dream, Izz. I don’t want this tour to ever end.” He hugged Izzy, then went back to his seat and snuggled up to a sleeping Absinthe.

Izzy raised an ornery eyebrow at Karen. “So, different speeds, huh?”

“Absolutely not. And you can’t borrow it either.” Her eyes slid to Steven’s seat. “Coke always make him like that?”

“Yeah, he takes a while to come down. He’s pretty hyper to begin with.”

“Well, you should have a high energy set then.”

Izzy rested his arms on the top of the seat. “You’ve seen us play. What do you think?”

Karen fought a smile. “You don’t suck.”

“Says the woman who traveled with Def Leppard.”

She gave him the middle finger. “Keep it up, Hoss, and I’ll ram my Japanese precious where the sun don’t shine.”

Izzy puckered his lips and made obnoxious kissing noises, then said, “Promises, promises,” and flopped down in his seat.

#hello to all 5 of you reading this #i love you more than you will ever know #izzy stradlin x ofc #izzy stradlin fanfiction #guns n roses x ofc #guns n roses fanfic

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call-me-alorras · 4 years

Text

Hey, so I don't really know if anyone is gonna see this, I don't really care, I think I will feel better knowing that this message is somewhere.

I'm not really lucky, life keeps giving half assed gifts and everything is always really bad timed. Everytime I get a new job I get sick the first week, then I get my period when I'm not supposed to, last winter I worked in a restaurant and I swear, two weeks in my stomach started to very badly react to acid. Took time to figure it out so I lost my job from being always sick. With my new job I had a tough start, first week I ran out of medicine for my stomach, then I had my period TWICE in a row. You know, life.

I'm 17, crying because I have to pay a rent for my dad's basement that doesn't even have a kitchen, sink or toilet. We have a shower tho. I can't clean the dishes without using my dad's dishwasher upstairs (so I have to carry a shitload of plates and bowls upstairs to get them wash and then get them back down in the basement). Anyway, I don't make enough money right now so I can't pay my dad and I owe him around 2000$ right now that me and my boyfriend have to pay back for the food and living expenses of the last few months. I want to leave this unsanitary lifestyle but I can't even pay the 400$ my dad is charging me every month with the job I have right now. I'm trying to save some money for my dad but I can't get 200$ out of my account without having to cut on the food.

Anyway, I don't think my life is that sad, but I'm 17 and crying because even by giving my health to my job by choosing to work 30h a week while being sick I can't afford a place to sleep and eat without worry. And I know it's common, I actually don't know anyone who isn't struggling financially while working full time. That's crazy.

And I always thought my dad understood me, and I think he does most of the time. But he told me today that's normal for a young adult to struggle. Yeah right, but I don't know, me and my boyfriend are both working, we have to pay rent and a little food but that's it, and we can't even afford that? My dad didn't work for a full year after my birth and only living on my mom's salary. That's how different it is. Two people can't afford what my mom could by working alone with a child to tend to.

Anyway I'm also really sad about the world, I wanna make my own place in it but sometimes I think about how this world is not worth the effort of working 40h a week to live in debts because anyway you can't afford school to finally have a degree that took some much of your life force to get that you already hate the job before actually starting the mundane career you jump into at 16 when you chose what school program you wanted to follow. And then people tell you how normal is it to give up your dream and health and time for a little comfort and a 2 weeks vacation a year. People don't even see their children growing anymore, you birth them and then go back to work because you can't let your career go down, and one day you check on your kid and they're 5 years old but since you just worked and worked you never found time to actually watch your kid and now some really fuck up and untitled asshole pop up everywhere because no one can take care of a kid correctly without letting down their job.

And people don't even care about that! People are rioting for masks and some old farts are now being asshole to a poor customer service worker that doesn't even know why they're working anyway because life on earth is dying so why bother you know?

All this seems pretty depressing, but I actually enjoy life. Smoking a little weed, having fun, a little beer, watching my dog run with his ears in the wind, the little ant on the table looking for food, some candles and a freshly washed bed, a fun car ride, a day out skating, having friends for dinner, talking shit about people in high school, you know, life in its good form. But you know, what's the point really? Why should I give my all to a blur and compromised society that doesn't even give back half. I can't even afford to buy new panties, that's how fucked I am. I have to check my bank account before buying milk, and don't get me started on my phone. I give my time, my life, to a toxic workplace filled with old people who are completely disconnected from the world who remind me everyday how poor this society is, I can only watch them while they buy their chips and soda and frozen food and scream to anyone how free they are and how the world should turn.

I have to deal with people like this around 7h a day, 5 day a week for 350$ and I can't even have my own place. I feel so broken, and let down, and forgotten, and curse, and poor, and dirty, and lazy, and tired, and empty because except working until you die the only option you have is to be fucking lucky and win the lottery of life and maybe have something else to do then die inside.

Anyway, I know life isn't about money, but if I had some I could actually give donation to the cause I support, I could feel safe in my space after a day of dealing with Karens, i could educate myself instead of standing still being a damn cash register and I could have clean and comfortable underwear and that's pretty much all I want...

Oh and I'm so sorry, to all the people changing the world right now, I'm doing my best from home but I can't do much more. Black lives matter. And animal cruelty is making me cry at night. And the president of the United States scares me. This world is wrong, and I wish I could do more to make it right for a lot of people who are suffering for a few white old ass. But I'm struggling to find my own way, I hope the world will still be standing when I'll find a way to live.

Still have a lot to say about how sad this world is but I have to go back to work. :))

#financial help #self help #send help #im screwed #life is sad #and a joke #feeling anxious #anyway #donald trump will kill us all and thats okay because i cant afford to live #i cant afford this #too poor #life #i wish life could really be a cake #relatable #every millenials #customer service #wear a fucking mask #you're full of viruses

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pretty-prince-lulu · 5 years

Text

part 14: in which our friendly neighbourhood post-author is, in fact, still alive, and the middle child is an asshole

henlo from the land of being distracted by the fact that I have been Writing and Really Enjoying It. Been far too long since I’ve had anyone else around with talent and on my wavelength

BUT ONWARD.

We begin our day with me spending like 2 days installing a shitload of random things.

I was just sick of running out of small decor items and such. As before, if anyone has particular suggestions, do let me know- this many in sims3pack form don’t seem to impact performance the way I expected them to

The little boy is docked in his spaceship of slumber. I’m still very disappointed in his parents, for the record.

Mother dearest, meanwhile, continues her quest to try and complete that opportunity before time runs out. We’re not too far off it

bewilderment intensifies

Middle child, meanwhile, has continued to grow, and today marks the occasion.

Is this because you’re dead

Davin seems to quite enjoy handling the little baby, at least. So far, they’ve not made any attempt to sire children of their own, but I’m certain it’s coming.

Dad bathes while still wearing swim pants. That watery glass effect of drowned ghosts is STILL my favorite thing.

Meanwhile, Mimi gets cracking on the ‘use 50 elixirs on yourself’ part of her lifetime want. Ingredient shortages require getting creative with the Elixir of Friendship.

seldom am I less surprised by a popup.

Patterns continues in her quest for trophies, this time in winter wear. I would wear the living hell out of that coat, if anyone was wondering. I love it.

The trophy total creeps ever northward. She’ll have a full set soon enough, I’m sure.

Across town, an updated map tag catches my eye.

The boy who Davin helped birth has grown up a little! Let’s take a closer look, purely out of curiosity.

Largely looks like the Mithrilen side of the family (I quite like that family). But I don’t recall either parent being a fairy- maybe that’s caused by my settings for occult population. I’m also far more partial to that texture change in the wings. Much cuter! (And I hate the tiny bumblebee ones that come by default. Awful.)

IT’S TIME FOR THE FESTIVITY HORN.

At the park, a boy prepares to become... well, not a man, but almost. A... squire? No, teenagers aren’t that cool.

Let’s dress up the boy and see what we’re dealing with.

You know... I quite like that.

I’m also MAD jealous of that belt buckle. I want calculation pants.

He does have a little bit of an unfortunate ‘walked into a door at speed’ look going on, but it’s not too bad.

Of course, we never actually see him looking like this.

He’s our glowing, spooky son.

He heads home, and celebrates by quaffing a Potion of Bliss his mama made him.

A college mascot shows up, trying to convince him to condemn himself to a lifetime of debt for a piece of paper. BE SMARTER THAN THAT, DEX. Tell him tHOLY FUCK.

was ‘closely resemble the hat’ in the fucking job application ad

squinting into my fucking soul

let us escape indoors and drink out of the caffeinated beverage dispenser to cleanse our memory

that is not the drink I expected you to brew, yet it fits.

He’s old enough to hold the baby brother now. Let’s introduce them more directly.

They do look good together, ominous infant levitation aside.

dexter no

I feel the same way

That’s more like it.

NO STOP

YOU FUCKIN BUTTHOLE.

a popup catches my eye.

you have the

SAME

KID

YOU ARE MARRIED.

Those of you in the crowd with eagle eyes may have noticed that the pictures on the wall shit themselves. I know how this happened (save file cleaners trying to shrink down the bloat- works, but clearly I can’t keep doing that if I want to avoid it). This warrants new photographs to replace them. Let’s go nonseasonal this time.

Adorable. And the prom picture, having done the same:

Fuckage is heard.

I try not to think too much about how we manage to block the chamber pot.

Our bright lad, once recovered from his mascot trauma, really ought to start planning for his future.

this may wind up regrettable.

I am then quite distracted by a popup, about a local girl having found a boyfriend. Unremarkable in itself, but I know off the top of my head who her parents are, and I experience genetic bewilderment.

Now, both parents are on the lighter side of the skintone slider toggle, and the previous generation (which is also heritable) doesn’t explain the range either. My first assumption was that these two must have been adopted. It’s the only reasonable explanation, right? However, looking closer reveals that that’s unlikely to be it, unless adoption now partially factors in parental genetics.

Mother

Father (the popup still visible there, even)

Both of the kids definitely have features that match both parents. I do have mutation ranges on, however, and that’s the only explanation I could find. Both of their children can only possibly have rolled mutations to BOTH hair colour and skin tone. Extremely mathematically improbable with the setup (like, 0.025% at best), but still possible. Just thought it was kind of awesome.

meanwhile

my deep sighing continues.

there is very little I can do (within my self-imposed ruleset at least. And I could cheat, ofc, but that’s no fun to me)

A familiar noise happens.

NINE times. I have never had so many attempted robberies in my life. I have NO idea what’s making this house so attractive for this, but I’ve added burglar alarms indoors AND outdoors now. Fuck’s sake!

GOOD.

EAT AN ENTIRE DICK.

you just got shattered by an 88 year old woman.

Meanwhile, Davin is having a bad day.

Pissing yourself is of course perfectly okay in private. But he did not do this thing.

QUICK

TO THE LITIGATION STATION!

I’m imagining this trial very phoenix wright, where davin must demonstrate for the jury the power of his bladder control. there’s a parrot present. he’s a witness. conviction means death. the real guilty party turns out to be undead.

While so doing, popups around town distract us for a minute, and we bring in the mail. I do like to watch what others are doing around town.

Oh! I did not expect THAT.

Let me just.

OH! HE’S BI, I HAD NO IDEA!

(In my setup at least, the admirer letters your sim receives are connected to said sim’s place on the Kinsey scale. Good to know!)

Dad heads out to perform in a park.

My bewilderment intensifies sharply.

Just old friends, then. Still definitely proof that Sekhmet’s relationship markers ARE still fucked up, though. I’ve never had that happen with any other Sims, even if he didn’t do the magic marriage thing that started this whole odyssey.

Many, many options are quaffed, as Mimi tries very hard to hit that benchmark of 50 without running out of time.

She cuts it fine, but-

YES.

Now, Sekhmet. He’s not far off getting to his OWN lifetime want- a 10 skill in Guitar and Charisma. I think, once he gets there and his wife passes on, we’ll let him head off as a ghost, having achieved his lifetime goals against all odds. Given the fuckery he’s endured, I feel like it’s the least he deserves.

However, unless we want him distracted by Mimi’s shuffling off of the coil, that’ll require we give her just a little more time. To that end, a plan that is viable does come to mind.

Seedlings, blessed until they blossom. A gnome watches on, mostly to hurt my soul.

The fruit buy Mimi a few more days. Menefer does eat the rest of the plant, unfortunately, and we have no more seeds to make him grow, so that bit of time is going to have to suffice unless we somehow wrestle up more.

Davin, meanwhile, has performed enough embarrassing door-to-door songs to have earned clout enough to audition for his first proper stage show.

I have William Fangmann (from Late Night) in my genetics bin, and the ones that use his offspring tend to be VERY obvious.

Suddenly, I close the program. I am filled with the impulse to do something I’ve not done before- download default replacement for the skin and eyes. I make my selections, and it is done. How are we looking, Patterns?

SHRIEKS

Oh- but I really like that for her up close!

Davin practices magic after his audition. His model does not properly load. He summons the apple.

He BECOMES the apple.

An opportunity arises for Patterns to attend a horse-training lesson. Interesting options show up in the ‘Go Here’ popup.

FYI, doesn’t work if you show up with cats instead.

Dinah expresses her feelings on this by catching a fish.

Excuse me, but how the fuck? That fish is twice the weight of my own ABSOLUTELY GIGANTIC CAT. How fucking strong IS Dinah?

Onward marches time. The extra few days is at least enough for Mimi to go out and hand in those flowers and roots.

Out we go.

... That is NOT what I told you to do with that flower.

I mean good for you, but this was very much not your instructions.

WAIT WHAT NO

GET FUCKED, MIMI

(Mimi spends the next 8 hours on a park bench. FORBIDDEN TO COME HOME. There is a restraining order on ghostly dick right now. WE ARE NOT DOING THAT AGAIN. No.)

In her absence, a small boy grows just a little bigger. Let’s answer our curiosities by peering beneath the ghostly veneer, for all that I’m sure we’ll never see it elsewise.

Daddy’s eyes, and an overall look that makes me really wish I had a chocolate chip icecream cone.

mimi:

That, for those who don’t remember the fairy breaking the computer and running for her life, was Mimi’s personal paparazzi, and best friend. A bit of poking around reveals that poor Venus had absolutely no other friends or connections save for the peculiar blue witch she photographed. That, my friends, is a fucking tragedy.

A trip is made to the graveyard, to retrieve our old friend’s remains. While we’re there, we grab the two gravestones of people who also died before their time, while we’re in the business of granting due honour to the dead.

Those gravestones do not contain the option to pick them up, so I fiddle-fuck with them and force collect them. Arriving home, we see why that was the case.

Those gravestones radiate ectoplasmic smoke, even through walls. Fabulous effect, but... we should probably move those to our memorial room at some stage.

It’s almost time for Davin’s first show, but the television breaks while Sekhmet is watching it. Somebody MUST fix it. Davin draws the short straw.

Davin is not exactly much of an electrician.

His pants burst into flames. He fixes upon something with a thousand-yard stare. What are you looking at, Davin?

I would not be in the least surprised if Dexter was behind this either.

‘But MY TELEVISION’, cries Sekhmet, displaying the exact same priorities as my own father. In this moment, I AM Davin. Faultless, my pants ablaze, regretting having attempted to help.

Even Bella cares more about Davin being on fire than the television, SEKHMET.

Help arrives, and just in time.

She rages. Davin smoulders sheepishly.

It is only now that Patterns arrives home after her morning jog.

“Dav. What the hap is fuckening?”

He’s, uh. He’s getting ready for his show. Yeah.

(I’m sorry, Patterns. Who would have ever imagined that the only responsible member of the household would be the one who is imaginary?)

He treats himself to a long bath, to wash off the soot. He gets up afterward, heading to the fridge to eat a slice of pumpkin pie. Somewhere between these activities, a step is missed.

Pie is better with your dong out.

A popup appears.

We’d forgotten about that.

Simultaneously, a want rolls up.

Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

TIME

TO BE

AN UTTER

FUCKHOLE

He dresses for the occasion.

An excellent Bastard Suit.

The options are many.

Brilliant. Who would suspect the DROWNED GHOST?

mimi:

Davin has thoughts before his performance. Yes, we’ll get to that, dear. Not just yet, but we will.

Dexter is out causing fuckage and horror before prom. If anyone asks, he’s at his brother’s concert, okay? And he was there all night.

He does look at home on the stage.

Alas. He receives... updates, it seems, while trying to focus on his song.

Now, to pretend that nothing happened.

All goes well so far.

Well that’s... unexpected, actually.

He certainly does seem to suit this crowd.

Now, that’s closer to what I was expecting.

Patterns makes it to the performance, and merrily cheers him on.

Her options here are many.

patterns no

mmm whatcha saaay

mmm that you only meant weeeelllll

Fortunately, plant-related head injury barely slows down our performer!

god I wish I had literally anyone that supportive in my life

AGGRESSIVELY LOBS HELPFUL VEGETATION

Brother continues his fuckery, but the attention is elsewhere!

I could not possibly

ship this harder than I do

This one’s for you, babe

Mom makes it here with the baby boy, happily watching along.

Dexter’s world falls down in the distance.

A horse- a lady with two white-tipped legs and a mohawk- joyously arrives near the end of the show. There’s an achievement in Pattern’s books for befriending a few wild horses, and she certainly seems enthusiastic enough to be somewhere to start.

I didn’t recognize this name, so I paused and performed a full database sweep for it. ETHAN DOESN’T EXIST. Nowhere. In no age bracket or role. NOTHING. Who the FUCK did you see???

Patterns rolls a matching want. Okay, okay. Still NOT YET, but I’ll move it up in the priority shuffle, okay?

That stage name still makes me piss myself. Though I thought it was better than ‘enjoyable’, based on crowd response... I guess it was his first one.

Our performer is proud of his work.

BUT HIS WIFE IS PROUDER! She gets 1/3rd more of a mood boost for having watched her husband’s show. I guess we’re all our own worst critics, Davin.

Horse friendship progresses well already.

She gets an apple, while Patterns ignores a phone call. Reminds me, I should install some face sliders for horses so they have more aesthetic variation. Is it just me, or does this one kind of look a bit like Spyro the Dragon from the side?

Dexter is STILL upset, and things apparently only got worse from there...

But at least nobody caught him for the flooding.

He tromps home and tosses himself into bed. I can’t blame him.

Around town, various marriages turn to shit. Sadly for the locals, I have divorce disabled, because otherwise they spend their entire lifespan playing Musical Wives.

awkies.

somehow more awkies. I think it’s the pillbox hat and the tomato child.

The ghost of Venus awakens, smilingly loitering around. If this family was all she had in life, it only makes sense that she rest with us in death, no? ...Perhaps we’ll do more with her in time. The fact that she had absolutely nothing else in her world makes me sad.

Mimi wants to throw glassware at her son. Mood, really.

I checked their relationship, and it’s not because it’s bad, either. He just has a face that absolutely begs for a pelting. I could not agree more.

That is quite possibly the most hilariously insensitive roast I’ve ever had come up.

But Dad’s absence has been due to his delivering of a Charisma seminar at the military camp. And at its conclusion-

Behold. And I do believe he’s at level 9 of guitar- so he’ll be resuming his rest soon indeed. It’s a shame his children aren’t all grown, but I don’t think anyone could say that Sir Diamond Dong hasn’t done very well.

#sims 3 #fucking around to an extreme

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rivetgoth · 5 years

Text

.. ;D ..

Time to be Ogre’s unofficial marketing representative.

PLEASE please please go support Nivek Ogre. Follow his Twitter at ohGrOfficial, follow his Instagram at ohgr_official, like his official Facebook page. Go buy his newest album on Bandcamp or buy some of his merch from his online store. Buy his music (ohGr or Skinny Puppy) off Amazon or iTunes or wherever you prefer to go (that will actually give some of the money to the artist!). Or buy stuff from the Skinny Puppy online store which’ll also go to him too.

As most of you should know by now Nivek Ogre is my hero and my favorite person in the whole universe and the best person who has ever existed. Most of you know him as the frontman for Skinny Puppy and ohGr, some of you here might be more familiar with him because he plays Pavi Largo in Repo! The Genetic Opera and other good sexy perfect characters. All of you who follow me have definitely been forced to be aware that he exists (good). What a lot of people don’t know, though, because this has gotten almost no mainstream news coverage, is that he recently had about $100,000 stolen from him :(

Last year Ogre started a PledgeMusic fundraising campaign to help release his newest album, TrickS (which is fucking fantastic, by the way, and can be listened to for free on the official ohGr Youtube page here). PledgeMusic had until last year been a totally trustworthy and successful website for mostly smaller scale music artists to connect with fans directly and crowdfund projects, kind of like a GoFundMe or a Patreon but specifically for musicians. Buuuut the site collapsed; Pledge was caught taking the money that fans were giving to the artists and using it for other things, and they went bankrupt when they were caught unable to give any of the artists their money. The fans had their money taken in secret and the artists never received a dollar of the money they had made. A shitload of bands have been totally fucked over and MILLIONS of dollars are owed that will likely never be given to their rightful owners. You can literally just google the news results for “pledgemusic” and see a ton of sources on this, here’s one for reference.

Yes, this was illegal bullshit, but the artists are trapped, because it takes money to sue, and they have no money because PledgeMusic stole it. Some artists have sounded like they are seeking legal compensation and are planning to try to sue, and I think everyone involved in the theft absolutely deserves to go to prison LOL, I support legal action being taken here 100%. I heavily encourage everyone to look into this and spread more awareness of what’s going on, especially if you’re an artist of any kind yourself and/or you’re someone who’s been vocal about supporting artists financially (all of you who have reblogged posts about stuff like how artists deserve to be commissioned at a fair rate for their art!!), and ESPECIALLY if you’ve ever relied on some form of crowdfunding such as a Patreon yourself. I don’t mean that in a “shame on you for not talking about this ://” way, I know it hasn’t gotten much coverage, but now that you do know I think everyone who cares about artists being paid fairly for their art should be speaking up more about this. It’s a devastating blow to so many people and it deserves way more public outcry... But on topic again, the fact is that Ogre & Mark Walk (the other member of ohGr) have decided not to take legal action - According to Mark this has left them in debt, they produced the entire TrickS album and Ogre toured (WITH A BROKEN JAW) with literally no money and making no profit, and with absolutely no foundation of financial stability at this point they’ve announced that they just want to try to move on and recover from this as they go while creating new music.

So that’s the good news!! They’ve announced that they’re working on new music right now. Apparently they’re about two months into the writing process. They’re posting previews and demos of their WIPs on their social media pages so you can follow them for updates!! ;D Ogre and Mark have both been pretty active and answering questions and they’ve also started posting some unreleased older demos from the 90s and teasing a “vintage ohGr” release sometime soon. They’re being so optimistic through this whole stupid ordeal and seriously deserve so much support. I’m so sad that there’s been so little acknowledgement of this horrible situation and how much it fucked over so many artists but Mark and Ogre have been adamant about the fact that they don’t do what they do for money and the music is born out of passion and wanting to bring their art to life and they deserve the support to be able to do that while also being able to have financial stability and comfort ... Ogre is the best person in the whole world. He’s so sweet and kind and loving and talented. He’s so passionate about what he does and in 30+ years of touring he’s never cancelled a show ever even when he was beaten and robbed and fractured his jaw and taken to the emergency room on the same DAY (AT AGE 55)... He’s devoted his whole life to activism alongside his music and he cares so much about every living thing. He loves to share oatmeal with bees and he gives the biggest nicest warmest hugs ever. Please go support my dad. :( 🖤

#soft hooting

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years

Text

Survey #214

“if you are dead or still alive, i don’t care.”

Do you wear perfume or cologne? Very very rarely. Typically if I have to go somewhere formal or something. What was your favorite grade in elementary school? Probably 5th. Do you own a debit card? No. A credit card? No. Are you in debt? I don't pay for anything that could cause me to be in debt. When is your birthday? February 5th. What song are you listening to now? "I Don't Care" by Apocalyptica. What was the most traumatic experience of your life? The breakup with Jason. Have you ever lost a friend to drugs or alcohol? Kinda. Who was your childhood best friend? Her name was Brianna. Are you still friends now? We just drifted apart. If not, why? ^ Do you believe in Karma? Nope. What do you thinks happens to us when we die? I don't pretend to know. I hope some sort of eternal peace for those deserving, but who the hell knows. What age do you think you’ll die? Idk. 70s/80s? My grandparents lived pretty long. About how long was the last book you read? I haven't a clue. Have you ever read a play before? Yeah, in school. A play not written by Shakespeare? I don't think so. Have you ever read a play outside of school? No. Have you ever edited Wikipedia? No. Have you ever edited any other wiki? A lot... I'm one of the admins at the Silent Hill wiki, a content mod or something I don't remember on the SotC one, and I occasionally edit the meerkats wiki, which is an atrocious mess that I try to clean up where I can. Is there a website [besides social networking] that you check almost daily? A lot. Do you use your phone as an alarm? Yep. Do you listen to music while you sleep? No. Do you get scared when you know some virus or sickness is being passed? I don't get "scared," just very paranoid of germs. Are you realistic? In some ways. Do you own a romper? No. What popular social media platforms AREN’T you on? Snapchat, and then I have a Twitter solely to like Mark's shit lmao. What does your computer’s slow-loading cursor look like? It's a spinning light blue ring. Do you prefer Microsoft Word or Pages? I've never heard of the latter, so. Would you rather have a trampoline or swimming pool? A pool, please. Do you have the same favorite colors you had when you were a kid? Pink, yes. What do you like to put in your tea? N/A What do you like to put in smoothies? I don't really drink them. Do your stuffed animals have names? Some. What was the name of the first porcelain doll you got? Bitch miss me with that haunted doll shit. Do you sell any products? If so, what? No. Do you know how to knit? No. Do you have an inspiration board? I have one on Pinterest of hair colors I like. Do you have a colored teddy bear? Maybe up in the attic somewhere. On what day is your local grocery store the busiest? I'm sure it's the weekend. What day do you usually go grocery shopping? Mom doesn't have a designated "day." Do you own a bobblehead? No. What do you make wishes on? Nothing. Wishes aren't magic. Well, I do on birthday candles, but that's only as a tradition sorta thing. What’s the best natural pain reliever? It depends; sometimes nothing natural works. What’s your favorite Paramore song? "That's What You Get," probably. Do you like scrambled eggs? Yes. Have you ever made a recipe you found in a magazine? No. Have you ever done a craft that you saw in a magazine? I don't believe so. Are you bitter about anything? I am permanently and inexplicably bitter towards my former primary doctor that fucked up my entire body thanks to keeping me on a medication and her being an ignorant fuck to the side effects, apparently. What is your favorite color for cars? Burnt orange. What is your favorite color for bridesmaid dresses? *shrugs* If applicable, what’s your favorite dance costume that you’ve had? It was some sort of black dress-ish thing. I can't remember clearly. What’s your favorite flavor of mouthwash? Minty? Just ffs don't have alcohol in it. Do you drink CapriSuns? If there's nothing else to drink, sure. Do you prefer caramel or peanut butter? Peanut butter, I think. Do you like strawberry shortcake? No. Do you like butterflies? Yeah, they're my fave insect. Do you know any dances? Only the ones that literally tell you what simple move to do lmao. Did you go anywhere yesterday? No. Do you like yellow or blue more? Blue. Do you wear rings? Only one. What’s the last you got out of the freezer? French toast sticks for lunch yesterday. How often do you go for walks? Never, sadly. Walking along my road is scary with how busy it is, I CANNOT handle the heat, and for the time being, I can't walk far at all with my knee problem. Do you go on the computer or watch TV more? I say enough I don't watch TV, but I'm always on my laptop. What is something you’ll never eat again? Why? Brussel sprouts. 'Cuz they're fucking disgusting. What is currently happening that is scaring you? Abortion rights being taken away/wrongly modified is pretty scary, honestly. What would be your personal hell? The Christian Hell because fuck that heat lmao. What made the ‘weird kid’ at your school weird? He, I shit you not, would not say a word, but if he absolutely had to speak, he kept it very very short and quiet. He was always looking down and isolated himself. I felt really bad for him; he was so obviously depressed, but I was always too unsure of how to approach him and try to be a friend. What is a word you personally find offensive? "Retarded" when used incorrectly. What instantly puts you to sleep? Instantly go to sleep??? Please teach me how. What song is in a language you don’t speak, but you love it anyway? Well, I don't speak German fluently, so like, a shitload of Rammstein songs. What is something you would like to do if you weren’t judged for doing it? Tbh cosplay sounds so fun. What’s a movie you think everyone should watch? Why that one? Johnny Got His Gun. It shows just how fucking disgusting war is. What was the most unexpected good thing that’s ever happened to you? Senpai Noticed Me. What is the funniest fact you know? Idk. Oh, I might be mistaken, but I think the guy who invented the segway died via driving off a cliff on a segway. Big 'ole oof. What’s the kindest way a stranger has treated you? I remember as a little kid, the people in front of us in line at McDonald's paid for our meal. What is the biggest design flaw of your body? I have this random, deep dimple on my right ass cheek like what the fuck. What is the strangest thing you have ever felt? OKAY SO when I was in the process of having my ears cleaned back when I had that wax adhered to my eardrums, one step was having warm water like pounded into my ears, and it somewhat tickled but also felt oddly good, and it was just really weird. What makes someone immediately unlikable? Acting like they're above everyone else. Who’s a villain you sympathize with and why? Darkiplier hunny my poor husband. I won't answer "why" because yeah spoilers. What is something you regret to NOT have done? Fuck it, I wish I'd had *complete* sex w/ Jason. I was in love with him, and I'll probably never experience genuine sex again so like- What’s the weirdest thing you put in a microwave? Idk? What movie changed your life for the better? I'm not sure. Oh, wait, I remember when I was still Christian, God's Not Dead really touched me, but we know how I am religiously now. What’s something your relatives don’t know about you? Many probably don't know I'm bi. What’s something your parents did, which you have sworn never to do? Have children before marriage. Back when I wanted kids. What’s the most annoying thing your pet does? My cat is obsessed with trying to lie on me as he'd done as a kitten, but then I can't see over him to see the laptop. Teddy scratches a lot and won't listen to "stop" for anything. What’s the biggest sum of money you’ve won? Uhhhh. I have no clue. Have I ever? Idk. Have you ever smoked weed on April 20? No. Tell me about the last event that made you really, truly happy? Oh boy. Can you name three good things about your most recent ex? He's funny as fuck, super intelligent, and hard-working. Have you ever thought about how the world will end? Yeah. What object do you own that has the most sentimental value to you? The pebble I got from my partial hospitalization program. What’s the best memory you have of your father? Him teaching me to ride a bike. What was on the last sandwich you ate? Ham, cheese, and mustard. Do you prefer gold or silver jewelry? Silver matches more things, but I'm allergic to it. I find gold in general prettier, too. Have you ever gotten back together with an ex? No. What is your favorite Thai dish? Never tried Thai food. When was the last time you made out with somebody? February. Are there any candles in your bedroom, and what scent are they? No. When was the last time you went to a birthday party? Last month for my niece. What pet names do you use with your significant other? A whole lot. What brand is your toaster, if you have one? We don't have a toaster, but a toaster oven. I don't have the slightest clue what brand it is; it's ancient. Have you ever dated a smoker? If not, would you? No and nope. What’s the name of the store you usually get your groceries? Wal-Mart or Harris Teeter. Would you rather travel to Japan or Scotland? Oh man, I don't know! I guess Scotland. Does your house have a porch/balcony? We have a decently-sized back porch. There's a front one as well, but it's tiny. What was the last movie you saw and who did you watch it with? I watched The Shining by myself. What’s your favorite type of bread? Pumpernickel. Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? Yes. Can you cry on command? If so, have you ever used it to your advantage? No. What time does the sun go down where you live at this time of the year? Like, 8:30-ish. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? If I literally had to get them done for whatever reason, I guess I'd pay. Me doing them myself would be a nightmare, especially with tremors. Did you ever fail your learners/drivers test? I haven't taken it yet. Do you have any stickers on your car? I don't have my own car. Blackberry, Droid, or iPhone? iPhones. Do you like diet soda? NO. I don't just not like the taste, but the artificial sweetener gives me crazy headaches. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? No. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? No. How old were you the first time you drank alcohol? I don't remember. WAIT shit dude, I was young. I grew up going to a Catholic church, and during that "eating the blood and body of Christ" thing (I forgot what it's called), we sipped real wine. Yes, even the kids. That shit was NOT grape juice. Name someone you’ve become a lot closer to recently: No one. What was the last fight you had with your parents about? Dad, I've got no clue. Mom, about her constantly shit-talking my dad and I no longer wanted to hear any of it in my presence. Does your car have a sunroof? N/A Did you ever have braces? Yes. Are you from the South? Yes. What does your last status on Facebook say? It was something about the bullshit Alabama abortion law, I believe. I barely ever ever make my own statuses. Do you tip your server when you go to a restaurant? I never can because yeah, no money, so I can't even pay for the meal. If I could, of course I would. Have you ever snuck out of your house? No. Are you friends with people on Facebook that you actually hate? No? Name your favorite Ke$ha song: I guess "Take It Off." What’s your favorite place? Ah man, the tattoo/piercing parlor I go to. What was the last comic book you read? It was one of the Silent Hill ones on the app years ago. What’s the worst trouble you’ve ever gotten into? Probably when I ran away from home in like middle school. Do you know anyone your age who has a child? A good number, but I mean I'm 23 so that's not exactly strange. Ever had a friend online for a long time without seeing a photo of them? A few. The last time you threw up, what caused it? Medicine that was known for nausea. Did you have any foreign exchange students at your high school? I don't think so? Any foods from other countries you would like to try but haven’t yet? Not off the top of my head. Do you think the world would be more peaceful without any religion? Maybe. Probably. Idk. Have you kept the same icon here for a long time? Yeah. I don't really take pictures of myself, so. Why did you choose your icon, anyway? It's the most accurate representation of how I look on the daily. And it's not horrendous. Does it hurt your feelings when people talk shit about things you love? Sometimes. It doesn't hurt my feelings, but rather it makes me deathly embarrassed because I feel stupid for liking it and like they're making fun of a part of me. Can you be friends with people with opposing political views? Yes. Are there any fandoms you used to be in, but left? I don't think I exactly "left" them, just lost big interest, like Rhett & Link/GMM. I still love the guys, but I don't watch them anymore. Warriors is another example. Do you prefer ruffly or regular potato chips? Ruffled. Do you write down your own recipes, or just commit them to memory? I don't cook. Can you do any impressions? No. What color do you want to dye your hair? Currently I want to dye it lilac, but I can't afford a professional to do that. What is a food you enjoy, but don’t have very often? Shrimp. Favorite fictional world? Wonderland. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I want to. Have you ever had to use it? N/A Have you ever been kicked out of a public place? Why? No. Do you donate to any associations that care for animals? I don't have my own money. Have you ever worn those Drunk Goggles? Yes, in D.A.R.E. Can you agree to disagree, or usually get upset over conflicting views? It depends on the topic, but it's generally very easy for me to agree to disagree. Rodeos – entertaining, or cruel? Animal abuse. Who is the best female rocker? Why? Ohhhh good question. I like Lita Ford, for one; great singer and she fucking slays the guitar. She seems cool, too. Do you care what kind of toilet paper you use? Not really, no. Do you still have any decent arcades nearby? No. Bullfighters who get gored kind of had it coming, right? Yes. They fucking deserve it. Have you ever accidentally found porn when looking for something else? Thank God no. What do you like on your burger? Cheese, ketchup, mustard, a little bit of mayo is fine but not mandatory, pickles, and very little onion is okay. What do you NOT like on your burger? Lettuce and tomato. Do you like 'loose meat’ sandwiches? Like sloppy joes? Yeah. Have you ever seen an unwrapped mummy in person? No, but that'd be pretty fucking cool. What things have people shamed you for? Besides the obvious disagreements like political subjects, I don't know. Do you always reply to private messages? (On any website) Yes, unless it's spam or advertisement. Are there any 'adult stores’ in your area? I wouldn't know. Have you been inside of them/shopped there before? No. Who was your favorite actress to play Morticia Addams? Anjelica Huston. What is the next film you want to rewatch? Idk. I don't really watch TV or movies to begin with. What is the next film you want to see for the first time? I've been wanting to see Jacob's Ladder for a very long time, but I have to find a time I actually *really* feel like it to possibly enjoy it. A movie you love even though it’s cheesy? I'm sure there's something, but idk. Share any song lyrics you misheard? When I heard "Purple Haze" by Jimi Hendrix for the first time, I swore the lyrics were "excuse me while I kiss this guy" instead of "kiss the sky." What was the last song you heard for the first time and enjoyed? I both enjoy "Bad Girl" by Avril Lavigne and see it cringy as fuck at the same time. Who are some of your favorite female fictional characters, and why? Heather Mason from Silent Hill 3 is up high 'cuz she's a badass, CYNDER FROM THE LEGEND OF SPYRO SERIES BECAUSE SHE'S COOL AS ALL HECKIN' HECK AND ALSO #AESTHETIC, and I've fallen more and more in love with Tyrande Whisperwind from World of Warcraft now that she's become vengeance-crazed and more interesting than she already was. Oh, and then there's Bayonetta. Why? You know why. A character (in anything) you wish hadn’t been killed off? In recent news, BRING BACK STAN THE MOTHERFUCKING WATER MAN, MARK. Have you ever had to hit up several stores in search of one item? What was it? I'm sure I have at some point. Do you have any calluses on your feet? From when I used to walk outside for hours, you have no idea- What was your last big purchase? A plane ticket. Have you ever eaten grits? I HATE THEM SO MUCH. Do you always dress right after a shower, or do you like to chill in your towel/robe for a while? I put clothes on right away. Have you ever looked up your state’s laws and read them? I don't think so. Have you ever had to talk to a lawyer? I feel like I did have to once for something...? Have you ever been in pain so bad you passed out? No. I sincerely don't know how I didn't when I had to get that cyst drained, though. I have no words for that pain. Can you have kids? Well, physically, yeah. Doesn't mean I ever will or even want to. If you could get rid of one of your allergies, which one would it be? POLLEN. Do you have any cousins that look like you? No. Who do you know who is dating someone that looks way too old for them? Idk. Have you ever gone on a Facebook deleting spree? Yeah. What's a good example of "don’t knock it till you try it"? Waffles with peanut butter spread over them with syrup. What is surprisingly painful? Hm. "Surprisingly." OH, something I say as well as many others: Getting your nose pierced is more painful than you'd think compared to other piercings. Which person shaped you the most? Probably Jason. Or Mom. Have you ever been 4-wheeling? Yes. Do you live anywhere near the woods? There's a wooded area beyond the field. Do you have any important anniversaries you celebrate? Mine and Sara's. Can you rap? I don't even have to try to say no. Do you know how to use a DSLR camera? Yes. Tell me about the sickest you’ve ever felt. Oh man... I remember in elementary school, 3rd grade I think, I had the weirdest 3-day "sickness" where I felt every single moment like I was right on the very verge of vomiting. I went to the ER on the third night, but they couldn't detect what was wrong. Next day, I woke up miraculously fine. Those days were horrifying for someone who is terrified of vomiting. Any important birthdays coming up? My nephew's isn't far off. If you could play one instrument flawlessly, what would it be? Electric guitar. Have you ever heard of Hollywood Undead? Do you like them? I love some songs, like others, don't enjoy or care about a handful, and then truly haven't heard most. Have your friends ever told you something really personal? Was it weird? Well yeah, close friends do that often. It's not weird. Has anyone ever called you a coward before? Who called you that? No. Have you ever written a whole song before? What was the title to it? No. Are you a Jeffree Star fan? Or no? Do you think he’s awesome/dumb? I loooove that funky alien man. I find his work ethic incredibly inspiring and he seems so super accepting and is just very radiant and positive. Has your grandmother ever made you anything? Not including cookies. I don't think so.

#survey #quiz #questions #bored #random

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best-street-shark · 7 years

Link

Get him Hawks!

Added cheeky bollocks to what Hunt was saying is that when they say ‘funding the NHS’ what they also mean is ‘pouring cash into we own pockets lol’.

It’s the PFI that does it, good breakdown

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/nhs-funding-pfi-contracts-hospitals-debts-what-is-it-rbs-a7134881.html there.

PFI built 55bn quids worth of hospital infrastructure, the government underwrote the debt and the financiers putting up the capital still, bizarrely considering the loans were safe as fuck, were allowed to charge mind-numbingly high interest. So now we have a shitload of foundation trusts with a black hole in their budget. The scale of the problem is so big that if the NHS just stopped everything, no staff, no services, no public use for the buildings, and poured every penny into those fucking loans (and forget the bollocks, that’s what they are), two years later it would still be giving the financiers money. They are absolutely crippling and only the smallest trusts, with relatively low PFI debts to start with, have been able to pay them off early and get on with healthcare again.

Okay so that’s bad but how does it mean the tories are nicking cash? Because those PFI payments don’t disappear. They go straight into the coffers of the investing companies, a combination of construction firms and financial institutions that put up the dough, and there was no ‘purity test’ of any kind. The NHS is giving money to firms registered in Guernsey (famously HICL, one of the largest PFI holders) or the fucking Cayman Isles. Who’s receiving the dividends for those billion pound payments? Impossible to know. Who even owns the shares? Functionally impossible to know, but we are constantly reminded that a ton of pension funds invested FUNNY THAT.

Side note, pension funds are often invested in shady shit. It’s basically a smokescreen/human shield thing. If an institution knows that an asset is primarily at risk from government intervention, say because people might kick up a fuss about arms deals or PFI payments and it becomes politically impossible for the government not to act, if the institution can say ‘yeah but look at all these pension funds bruv be a shame if something happened to them’ the government is basically fucked and can’t do shit.

So those payments go to rich people that would have known which institutions would be awarded PFI contracts. Osbourne started more PFI contracts annually than any other chancellor in history. If you don’t think the tories and their donors, under a deliberately untraceable chain of portfolios and financial products, have heavily invested in those contracts then you are bananas.

(Any prick saying but those were labour, actually the tories started PFI in 1992. Blair, as part of his bid to win Biggest Cunt In The Universe, expanded their use, the coalition then expanded their use again)

But hey, it’s not like those PFI debts are being flipped around, building a big pile of volatility if the payments were ever stopped, that would be crazy! Oh wait.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/exclusive-how-private-firms-make-quick-killing-from-pfi-9488351.html

Then we have NHS outsourcing, that’s always fun. Cash strapped trusts turn to private services to try and make a short term saving. Or they were ‘encouraged’ to with Any Qualified Provider measures. Either way it’s always the same story, private healthcare promises the earth, doesn’t deliver but is locked in to providing the service. The chances of a trust having the cash on hand to ‘renationalise’ their ambulance, cleaning or catering service to do it in house again is functionally zero. Interestingly a lot of charities offer to take these contracts, doing the job without profit being skimmed off the top, but this runs afoul of both competition law and the Any Qualified Provider stipulations.

Private services being shite is demonstrated by being victim to the fucking things but there’s a nice series of examples if you’re curious

http://www.nhsforsale.info/database/what-s-the-impact.html

This list of tory and lib dem MPs with links to private healthcare companies is a little old but it’s worth a read, just because it also mentions a few donors that donated to their personal election funds which is normally (perceived) as scary legal no-no enough that it isn’t widely reported considering how scummy it is

http://www.unitetheunion.org/uploaded/documents/final%20mp%20dossier%2028%20nov%201411-20887.pdf

Luckily privatised services are discredited as fuck by now, so it won’t be a problem for long! Oh. Oh wait

https://www.ft.com/content/2a9315ee-c937-11e6-8f29-9445cac8966f (FT paywall, 2017 has a 14% increase in outsourcing costs)

But still, the tories are giving the NHS loads, it’s not like the PFI payments and outsourcing is more than a drop in the ocean right?

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/nhs-cash-injection-2-billion-spent-outsourcing-private-care-providers-disgrace-healthcare-service-a7651531.html

It’s one of the big fibs of NHS funding that this shit is complicated. It’s opaque for sure, deliberately so, but it’s not complicated and the solution is actually really simple. An independent auditor is established with full investigatory powers, then they identify people personally profiting from money that was supposed to pay for your nans hip replacement, then that person is hung from a fucking tree by the neck until dead you grubby thieving bastards

#nhs #nursing #jeremy hunt #politics #science #tory scum

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diamondnokouzai · 6 years

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oc master post for the earlier anon

long under the cut

BERNARD

bernard is the fourth child (2x twins) of a farmer.. his father and twin sister died in a hunting accident when he was three,

the first set of twins were aasimar, and 6 years older than bernard and his twin sister georgia. they both left when bernard was 6, but not before teaching him celestial

so he grew up with only his mother. his mother went through a lot of stuff after that, which resulted in, in order,

half-elf triplets (two girls and a boy) (misky (f) tayze (f) and beauregard (m))

a gold dragonborn foster child (cotalla)

a half-drow son (drixben)

tiefling twins (a girl and a boy) (diana (f) and johann (m))

a halfling stepchild (jessie, but theyre the same age as the triplets)

a half-orc daughter (tarora)

these kids didnt start coming around until bernard was six. so bernard’s mom (molly) had nine children over the course of nine and a half years, and then when bernard is sixteen, his mother dies because of a terrible illness. so now heres bernard, who had a steady boyfriend, and now bernard has nine children, all under the age of ten, two are under the age of five, and he just. he cant be dating right now. so instead, he joins the guards of sarenrae (essentially the army, bc bernard’s country is devoted to sarenrae) because the guards get a good pay and their children get a good education

(the thing is, though, bernard’s mother died surrounded by all of her children except for bernard, who only stepped away for a minute to get her a glass of water and she died while he was gone, and thats. thats the worst thing that’s ever happened to bernard)

so youve got bernard, who is quite possibly the kindest, sweetest guy in the world, hes a paladin of sarenrae, and every week he drags in his nine siblings to services, usually carrying five or six of them with the other three or four on toddler leashes so they dont wander off.

so bernard is just, doing the best he can, and five years after he joins the guard, he gets called away to go to war. hes got nine kids to take care of, only three are old enough to take care of the others, but misky, tayze, and beauregard are all much less trustworthy than bernard. they arent bad kids, by any mean, because they were raised by molly, who was the nicest woman in the world, and bernard, who is the nicest man in the world, so these are pretty nice kids. in game theyre considered to be chaotic good, but like. misky and beauregard arent above pickpocketing to survive, and tayze will only do things for his family.

bernard still goes, because bernard believes in sarenrae and believes in fighting the good fight. so he leaves the farm in the hands of the triplets and jessie, and after giving every single one of his kids a hug and a kiss, he goes out to fight the war. hes gone for three years.

when he comes back, tayze and misky are gone. all that beau and jessie will tell him is that the two of them are out on the ocean

(tayze and misky are pirates. they have shifted to chaotic evil and chaotic neutral, respectively. they make a good profit, and bernard’s hometown is fairly far inland, so they arent at great risk when they go home to visit, which they do once a year. they take tarora and the twins on a tour of the ship once and let them pretend to be part of the navy of sarenrae, even though the ship is very obviously a pirate ship.)

so now bernard is twenty-four, beau and jessie are eighteen. beau is terrible at farming, and he really doesnt like to do it, so beau moves to the middle of the nearest city and joins the thieves guild there. he does it on the DL tho bc bernard does not, precisely, approve of thievery. he tells bernard that he studies from the school of summoning (bc he summons things from other peoples pockets into his hands, and bc he makes things disappear) so bernard is very proud of beau. beau is proud of himself too, but he keeps lying about being a thief because bernard’s Disappointed look is a terrible thing to suffer. beau also has some fun with bands of roving thieves that try to attack the farm, because beau can use a scimitar like no ones business

jessie goes kind of the complete opposite direction. they leave the farm and head into the nearby woods, and they keep going north. they get to the northernmost part of the continent, and they just start. living there. so they become an ice druid, and they also get a moose companion that they name afeeha. jessie comes back south every so often, shows tarora and the twins how he can polymorph into a snowy owl. bernard is VERY proud of jessie for following his heart, and jessie is all ‘yes yes thank you, how are tayze misky and beau?’ because he is the ONLY one that knows everybodys secrets and he uses that to his distinct advantage

cotalla is fifteen at this point, and they go to a nearby city (not a big city or anything) and they join the bardic college there. they are very good at singing and playing the lute and other string instruments, but cannot play a wind instrument for the life of them. so cotalla becomes a bard of kord (the fightin’ god) and essentially, what that entails is cotalla sings a shitload of battle songs with the guards of sarenrae, and then gets nasty when the fighting gets to them. bernard is SO proud of cotalla, because cotalla kiiiiiiiiind of technically joined the military? and he really loves the guards of sarenrae, who helped give all his siblings basic education, so hes real proud that cotalla joined.

drixben, at this point, is thirteen, which is a bit young, honestly, for him to go to any college. he doesnt, really, actually, want to do much of anything. he visits beau sometimes, who is lying to everyone about being a wizard, so beau invites his warlock gf and bf over and lets them teach drixben about magic. this is a terrible idea, actually, because drixben kiiiiiiiind of sort of becomes a warlock. which, if you done know, is, like, he made a contract with an ancient bestial terror.

so beau and drixben are like, ‘okay, this is a Secret From Bernard’ (its mostly beau because he kind of ruined drixben, even though bernard would still love both of them) so now drixben has warlock powers but he doesnt really ever use them. so now drixben is kind of having. problems. with his powers.

diana and johann (yo-hahn, yes these two and bernard are the only ones in the world with normal names) are nine years old. so they dont do much. u know. they still have to go with bernard wherever he goes bc those two would definitely burn down the house if left alone

tarora is eight years old, and is kind of in the same boat as the twins. the thing everyone asks when they come back to visit bernard is ‘where are tarora and the twins’. at this point its tarora-and-the-twins as one word, and, honestly neither tarora nor the twins like that.

so you have

tayze, chaotic evil half-elf pirate (who loves her big brother to death)

misky, chaotic neutral half-elf pirate (who loves her brother but also is less mean than her sister)

beauregard, chaotic good half-elf rogue

jessie, true neutral halfling ice druid

cotalla, chaotic good dragonborn bard

drixben, neutral good half-drow warlock

diana, ??? tiefling

johann, ??? tiefling

tarora, ??? half-orc

bernard is very satisfied with his life. however, its at this point that the current king, who was a SUPER good dude, dies and gets replaced. not by his daughter, who was a super awesome girl, but by his sister in law, who is not so phenomenal. she kind of ruins the country, and the guards of sarenrae TECHNICALLY serve the goddess sarenrae, so theyre like, i will not serve you. and the new queen is like, i will not force you. and then she takes their families captive and is like, but i recommend you do because otherwise your families will die.

the queen does not manage to nab all nine of bernard’s siblings. she does nab tarora, diana, johann, and drixben, whereas jessie is too much trouble to get, beau is too damned sneaky, misky and tayze are already technically wanted by the crown (but they use stage names, at first because they didnt want bernard to know about how bad they were being, but now theyre like ‘yes!! we knew this would happen we are so smart’), cotalla is actually in a foreign country fighting a war, and then when the war is over, theyre like ‘no thanks’ and they just. dont come back.

so bernard leaves the farm. he puts his ex in charge and now hes traveling the country, searching for his family. hes no longer part of the guards of sarenrae, but he still considers himself a paladin, except he hates the government.

so anyway thats bernard and i love him.

ZYRICK

zyrick is a huma bard and he is 19. he was sold by his human noble grandfather (one Ryxal Corriendone) at the age of two in order for the corriendone family to escape their debts. however, zyrick’s twin sister zyra (zigh-ra vs zee-rick) was kept with her family. zyrick was sold to the master of a massive slave gladiator pit, known as Mr. Zalfroc. zyrick first became eligible for the fights at the age of 10, but managed to avoid the worst opponents by means of his skill with musical instruments. zyrick thus spent the majority of his time in the pits as a side attraction rather than a fighter, although he did not completely escape from the fights.

at the age of 17, zyrick finally ran away from the pits and mr. zalfroc in an effort to both find his family and to. well. yknow. escape the fucking gladiator pits.

after spending 15 years in an underground gladiator arena, zyrick kinda sorta hates nobles with all the hate in his body. both because mr. zalfroc constantly reminded him of what his family did, and also because of what he saw of nobles in the pits. he works REALLY REALLY hard to move past it though, because he wants to meet his family and he wants to know whats up with them and to tell them that he forgives them.

but he doesnt really know? where it is? and so he just wanders around, staying far away from mr. zalfroc’s circle of influence, and then some girl (who looks too much like him) runs up to him, with a bunch of her allies with her because shes got her own adventuring party, and she explains that she is zyra corriendone the second and that hes her twin brother, and he kinda gets tugged along with this girl to the corriendone estate, and its kind of a spooky affair, with zyra the second and zra the first (their mother) and ryxal corriendone, and their mother is a little lost after the trauma of losing her son, and ryxal is a little lost because hes old, but they both come into it when zyrick enters the estate.

and zyra i explains that hes her son, her beloved son, and then theres drama with ryxal and zyrick runs because he does NOT trust angry adult men. and zyra runs after him, and tries to explain that everythings alright, that he can live with them now and they can be family now, but then zyrick just explodes with all his anger. “they fucking kept you, zyra, but i wasnt fucking good enough. they took me away from my mother and my father- do i even fucking have a father? no, i fucking doubt it- but they kept you, they loved you, you got to grow up in this fancy fucking house reading your fucking books and taking fucking music lessons and praying to fucking pelor once a fucking week and wearing your stupid fucking pretty fancy clothes. and guess how i grew up? i fucking killed people, ive killed people and i bet youve never so much as gotten a fucking hangnail. i taught myself everything i fucking know and i clawed myself up from the mud more than once and i saw the worst fucking parts of you people, and i hate it. and you can never make me be one of you. im not a fucking blueblood.” and he runs.

and thats not really fair, because zyra ii has her own issues with growing up, but zyrick doesnt care about being fair when hes talking to his silver spoon sister.

zyrick very much puts up an airheaded, kinda stupid/floaty/happy-go-lucky personality, but rest assured: he is thinking about murdering you. every soft half-smile and chord strummed on his lute? thats him stabbing you in his mind. and he will kill you with great pleasure.

JYNXLUCK

jynxluck is a young-ish drow warlock and shes absolutely nuts. i mean off her fuckin rocker. mostly thats because she was kidnapped from her village by ghaunadaur-worshipping elves who decided to torture her into seeing visions of the future because of the drows rumored genetic dark magic. and then one day she woke up in captivity and discovered all of the elves were dead, and shes now on a quest to find whoever did that and thank them graciously. she is also chaotic evil and does everything in her power to make her visions come true. this often backfires.

jynxluck is chaotic evil, as opposed to bernard being lawful good and zyrick being chaotic good.

also jynxluck does not lie. shes kind of a fae creature in that trickery and wordplay is fine but lying? lying is uncool and the worst. but she will kill people when she thinks things are going badly. she is c-r-a-z-y. but no lying also means that jynxluck WILL tell you what she thinks of you. shes like a much worse-organized GLaDOS.

oh also she hates all wood elves and take a guess why.

#.aphelion #.txt #dnd

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oncomics · 7 years

Photo

(via Diversions of the Groovy Kind: RIP Rich Buckler)

Cool! I believe every one of these were actually drawn by Buckler. There was a period in the mid-70s or so when his contribution was limited to hiring a ghost and getting credited for the job.

In his early years, his... debt to Neal Adams and John Buscema was obvious. Ditto for Kirby on his Thor and Fantastic Four runs. Later in career, he dropped the homages, as it were, and his art suffered.

I actually enjoyed his art. Was very frustrated with his career-long history of failed deadlines. His ability to last on a monthly run was... close to non-existent. Even had trouble with his bimonthly Deathlok run.

In the last five or ten years, he cranked out a shitload of memoirs. Looks very forthcoming if one doesn’t know better. But if one does, the stench of self-serving, of creating self-hagiographies, even fictions, is kind of choking.

On the other hand, Dick Giordano and Roy Thomas pretty much supported him throughout his career -- Giordano even going above and beyond.

Take this however you want. But I know what I know.

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thehonorablejudgewhitey · 7 years

Text

“With Liberty and Justice for All”

(copious amounts of profanity ahead)

After the initial shock left me numb, then angry, then depressed, the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach took over and, funny enough, for a long time I was pissed off not because of what happened, but because it was allowed to happen. I wasn’t even furious with the key players anymore because they’re...well, real life versions of one dimensional characters, they did what they were supposed to do, what they would always do, what everyone knew for a fact they would do. I was mad at The People. The American People. Not at the - we’ll never really know how many - millions which were racist, misogynist, xenophobic, hateful and downright stupid enough to feel that donald was worth a genuine vote, but at the vast majority whom, between Clinton, 3rd party candidates, write -ins (and assorted silliness) didn’t vote for donald. Why was I so mad at these - mainly sane - folks? Because a majority let itself be ruled by a minority with, until recently, barely a peep in protest. Very few people took the fight as seriously as it needed to be taken and where we are today is a result of that.

Had this been a normal, fair election...it would be one thing, but it’s been clear since the start that things were far from an even remotely legitimate deal. The U.S. had bad Presidents before, it also had dumbass Presidents before, look at Bush Jr. who was as sharp as that kid in your nephew’s class who eats all the crayons; Jr., funny enough, found himself down in votes as well, but still “won”. However, and despite that - let’s call it - coincidental similarity, donald is frighteningly different from W. He’s not only ignorant and illiterate, he’s something Bush wasn’t: a vicious sociopath. donald isn’t just unbelievably stupid (and so very proud of his stupidity), he’s not just a loud clown, he is a fucking deranged monster and if you think I’m exaggerating, you haven’t researched him thoroughly enough because his track record will scare the shit out of anyone. The dude truly is criminally insane.

Now, donald supporters will argue till they’re blue in the face that non donald voters are sore losers, “libtards”, “snowflakes” and whatever else colorful little adjectives the not too bright amuse themselves with in order to have something with which to (try to) annoy others and thus, not having to confront their own stupidity. However, recently we’ve learned that not only has the corruption and treason which lead us to this situation been reliably and extensively documented, but also that American intelligence agencies had the information for months...and sat on it. The connections between donald’s minions and the shadiest shit imaginable has been established, foreign intelligence services have been frantically waving their arms in the air, begging US intelligence to, for fuck’s sake, look at their findings regarding very blatant treason...and yet, YET...here we are. Now the public knows all about it and the backlash has been until recently, pretty damn weak. Thankfully the public’s fighting morale picked up in a big way with the women's march, but it’s still a long way from effective. Plus the march was very rightfully so focused on specific topics, but what’s needed is an all out blitz of opposition and protest. For every - single - thing.

A lot contributed to donald’s - LOL - “victory”:

1) partisanship within the agencies (here’s looking at you, Comey)

2) the Russian meddling (through blackmail, money, influence, disinformation, paid trolls, and other endless etc’s)

3) vote tampering (took a shitload of lawyers and some serious bribe showers to keep that one on the low...seriously, look into it and your jaw will drop like an anvil on a road runner cartoon...but apparently, we’ll just ignore outright mathematical impossibilities and documented bribery because that’s the world we live in now)

4) voter suppression, critical in areas with large black communities because the overwhelming majority of black voters weren’t here for this fuckery - especially women, go Ladies, making us proud as always!

5) useless 3rd party voting despite the many, maaaaaaaany warnings not to engage in it because it was so DAMN clear what was gonna go down and people still did it cause stupid reasons no one cares about; how are you enjoying that skinny ass high horse now, fuckers???

6) the utterly shitty job by American news organizations who sucked donald’s lil dick dry for months in the name of ratings and which now are shocked, shocked I tell you!!! that the motherfucker turned on them...who could have possibly seen that one coming,unbelievable!!! And still, STILL they haven’t learned from it, they’re still airing donald’s mental diarrhea verbatim all - the - time, calling racist and xenophobic shit “controversial” and having lap dogs like Crack Barbie Conway talking about goddamn “alternative facts” on national television with a straight face!

7) the impotent and pathetic opposition put up by democrats, I mean seriously folks...some democrats voted in favor of donald’s cabinet members; have you learned nothing from 8 years of republican fuckery? Oppose ALL the things! If it wasn’t for Maxine Waters “fuck you AND this shit” attitude, Tim Kaine’s “I just think it’s funny how...” brand of shade and a few other good folks in there, we could just throw the whole damn party in the trash

8) republicans having been WHIPPED by donald’s cheap reality star popularity which was - sadly - more than enough to outshine the zodiac killer and whoever else they had lying around. Republicans had to drop to their knees for donald and, in exchange, they can pull off a U.S. fire sale like they’ve been aiming for for 8 years now. Make no mistake, there isn’t a terrorist organization in the world which can hold a candle to the American republican party, their business is death and destruction for profit and they excel at it

9) the “slow moving right wing coup” (Maher called it, just before the election), the almost decade long crusade of misinformation and public manipulation through garbage like fox news and breibart through puppets like hannity and kelly. donald’s fake shot at the Presidency would have been impossible without the massive groundwork that came long before he was even considered to be viable enough for this

10) the fact that a lot of folks adored donald’s catchy tune of hate and racism. trump voters didn’t vote for him despite this, they voted because his message was music to their ears. How an uncharismatic, orange, shar-pei looking motherfucker managed to establish a cult of personality would actually be impressive if it wasn’t terrifying.There’s no real “economic angst”, there was no “reaction against the status quo”, nobody wanted to drain no damn “swamp”, the “he tells it like it is” excuse is just that...everything which was used to justify donald’s popularity is utter BULLSHIT. donald got votes because a black Man was President, because women had valid sexual and reproductive health rights, because the LGBT community got basic rights recognized, because Islamophobia is a reality, because black folks were asking not to get killed for sitting and reading a book, or ringing a doorbell asking for help, or buying skittles

and of course, 11) the fact that trump made it totally cool to just go right for any pussy you fancy at any time, i.e. normalized sexual assault. If that doesn’t scream about the rampant engulfment of society in rape culture, I don’t know what does.

Yes, a lot helped donald get to where he is today, but the problem isn’t that this stuff happened, it’s that it was allowed to happen, the beginning of the shitstorm. It’s not like the asshole totally changed his tune overnight; everyone knew he was a risk and still, it was constantly underestimated. Just a few days ago the U.S. was forced to go with a 100% illegitimate President, one planted by a foreign power, under blackmail from that same power, with an estimated 1.5 billion (that’s billion with a B) dollars in debt, making him one of the brokest motherfuckers in the world (and oh boy, is he robbing the Presidency blind already...between selling access to himself and facilitating businesses abroad...), supported by the terrorist hate group formally known as kkk and every filthy, inferior white supremacist around, with a cabinet filled with incompetent, batshit insane, corrupt picks who’ll be responsible for everything from your tax dollars to nuclear weapons - fucking TERRIFYING - and who’s sole job is to burn it to the motherfucking ground and piss on the ash and oh yeah, let’s not ever stop talking about donald’s sex abuse history which includes confessed predatory behavior, strolling through teens changing rooms and rape accusations from minors to his ex wife. You really can’t expect much from a guy who once said “Is it wrong to be more sexually attracted to your own daughter than your wife?”; she was 13 at the time.

So while the rest of the world had been pulling its hair and collectively asking: “What, in the absolute name of FUCK is going on and why is it allowed to continue!?”, most people had been showing indignation...on Twitter, being extremely angry...at home. It took some pretty dark reality checks to shake folks up. The thought of 22 (now some sources say 30+) million Americans losing healthcare brought a few thousand people out, just a few thousands out of 71 million who voted for a different candidate. For months now I and many others have been begging anyone who’ll listen to go out, go beyond the fallacy of sticking solely to hashtag activism and actually act! Before the women’s march injected some much needed life into people, I was met with everything from sheer indifference to a sense of total hopelessness (useless sentiment), but the worst thing so far, the one that really angered me to the fucking core, was the sickeningly common sentence “we can’t do anything about it”. Buying into the fact that you’re powerless, failing to understand that people run the government and not the other way around is the most successful form of oppression ever deployed and let me tell you, there’s nowhere else on earth where it has been applied more successfully than in the US. Politicians running wild knowing there’s 0 accountability for their actions is what motivated the batshit insane last few weeks in which republicans have released a kind of greatest hits of nefarious fuckery which include the sentencing of millions to death or bankruptcy (or both) without health insurance, getting rid of what little oversight they have (though that was over with? Check again...), and paying the bill for donald’s dumbass wall which may be the most ridiculous, useless thing ever made...this kind of distancing between politicians an accountability is why crisis like Flint drag out for years with no resolution - or even interest for a resolution.

It really is a damn tragedy the situation has been allowed to run out of control, so now it’s time to get a handle on the lunacy. Before American women (actually, women everywhere) brought it, a few weeks back, LA and NY showed up early with marches of about 10 thousand people each, the most meaningful actions pre-post-inauguration; some folks burned a couple of trash cans in Portland (and conservatives have been crying out that “the cities are burning!!!” ever since, failing to mention, of course, that rioters are mainly paid elements to create this kind of disruption so people like donald can bitch about it later; see also Washington DC a few days ago) and that’s about it really...So what have we learned? Massive protests, shutting down streets, cities...it’s the only way to go. There needs to be a continuity to the kind of spirit which propelled the women's match. Politicians will never admit it, but they’re terrified of people in large numbers, they may despise voters but they also need them. So this “inauguration”, these disastrous first days, a ridiculous circus which would have been deemed too stupid to be featured in the cheapest of French farces can either mark the end of The American People’s chance to act or the start of a proper, comprehensive uprising. If you were waiting for the inauguration to then push for an impeachment...that won’t fly here, it’s too late for any of the regular democratic processes. Election was illegitimate, electoral college voted illegitimately...relying on this kind of stuff is dead and buried. Keep hearing folks talk about 2020, elections...bless their hearts...even if by some miracle we reach that date, do y'all really think there will ever, EVER be anything remotely close to a free election ever again? With these corrupt fucks in power? Nah, that ship has sailed. donald getting “elected” was what’s called a proof of concept and now, like a cancer, his so called administration will infect every nook and cranny of government, making it impossible to remove. Best case scenario, some key players get kicked out and there’s a chance to start repairing the damage, but the root is firmly planted and there will be massive problems for many years to come because donald and his posse got this far. Plus, external influence is and will continue to be massively powerful; Russia has republicans tightly grabbed by the balls which means all their decisions aren't really their own and that the US is now a satellite state. Cold War era communists would piss themselves in excitement like puppies if they had ever even dared to dream that such a thing could be possible. And the kicker is, the U.S. wasn’t even the main act, it was just a beta test. France and Germany are coming up next, efforts to end NATO and the EU are well on their way and in Europe, stupid people are falling for the same kind of “populism” (aka very poorly disguised racism and xenophobia and other assorted far right ideological diarrhea) that stupid people in America fell for when sprayed by golden boy himself. My faint hope is that a large enough number of Europeans will wake up in time. So far I remain disappointed. Twice now in fairly recent times Europe fucked itself up; soon it will be on its way to a third go. “Those who don’t understand history...” etc.

So here we are, 2017 and worried about world wars, nuclear wars, a Russian empire, nazis and the end of democracy. Ain't that a bitch? The real kicker tho, the part that made me so very pissed off at the reasonable, logic people out there is that the whole thing was so, so, SO very fucking avoidable...we got complacent and lost focus on how vicious the fight was and how vicious we had to be to win it. I love FLOTUS44 to no end but the motto should have been “when they go low, we get a motherfucking club and crack their head open cause they’re already in a convenient position to get bashed and we gotta take these fuckers out, pronto” - not as catchy, but it was the right attitude. To show just how soft and out of touch people have become, this week there’s been a debate about if punching a nazi is wrong. I shit you not! “If” it’s wrong...smh. And even if throwing hands isn’t your thing, all anyone ever really had to do was show up. Right at the start, show up, provide the numbers for “strength in numbers”, be a body in a crowd. Wasn’t hard, wasn’t costly, didn’t need a great deal of planning...call up a couple of friends who in turn call up 2 or 3 more and just...showing up and demanding the most basic legitimacy needed for an election, demanding that a line was drawn between free speech and hate speech, demanding that something as vile as donald and pence and bannon and kushner and flynn and every other piece of shit in the gang wasn’t allowed anywhere near a Presidential election. People knew what was at stake, people saw the democratic processes fail.

Like I said, the key players are predictable, they don’t break character; you know for a fact what they’ll do: donald will always be a sociopathic old perv and act like such; republicans will always be money hungry, moralless whores (and I use that word for the actions themselves, I mean no disrespect to hardworking, honest prostitutes who don’t deserve to be compared to something as disgusting as republicans); white supremacists will always be inferior whiny bitches; and the people who support all these aberrations will always be too fundamentally dense, too goddamn stupid to understand the seven ways till Sunday in which they’re getting fucked while cheering for the ones pounding their ass. But the people who know better, the people who’ve seen this ridiculous charade since the start for what it is and got lost in pointless shit like in house fighting (who had the best candidate cause of reasons) or simply didn’t lift a finger in any serious and meaningful way to try and stop it...they’re ones responsible for the mess being in play. It’s pretty simple: you see a toddler with a gun, you don’t wait till it shoots itself in the damn face, you take the gun away.

So where will we be a little while from now if things don’t change dramatically? Well let me put on my Carnac The Magnificent hat on (a lil something for the kids to Google, take their mind of this whole “we’re all probably gonna die horrible deaths” dealio): Our buddy Vladimir, finding out this shit actually works (whaaaaaat? Long shot win!), will try and succeed with the same model in other countries, Europe will be at war again, a short one because Russia will steamroll resistance as it takes over.NOT looking forward to that. The US will be carved like a thanksgiving turkey; first, the complete demolition of the Obama legacy because, you know, memories of a black Man in office for 8 years won’t do, gotta bulldoze that shit like, yesterday! Remind “the blacks” (as donald says) of their place, make aberrations of the LGBTs again, and fuck this environment shit cause who needs clean air and water when there’s fucking oil to drill, goddamn it!!! However, it won’t be just a gutting of government and liberties and rights, but also of territory. California will be the first to exit, also with - very indirect and covert - Russian backing, NY will follow. Texas will probably join in cause...well, it’s Texas, it’s just itching to shoot at something. The rest of the territory will be as miserable as any third world country. Sadly I won’t get the pleasure of shouting “MAGA!” and laughing my ass off in the face of every single Trump voter while they starve or die from most banal diseases in the book. A true shame. Russia will continue to fund terrorism like it does with ISIS, as well as planning/carrying out terrorist attacks whenever it suits their strategic interests (see Berlin, last Christmas), with donald being ISIS’ greatest poster child for recruitment while his buildings will make for great targets. Convenience! Oh and let’s not forget that in a pre-butchered US, Republicans will still need a war, so expect one. Republicans will also need 9/11 levels of terror, so expect a 2.0 version of that as well.

All of this of course if donald’s alarming mental decay doesn’t throw a wild card in the mix and he just decides: “fuck it, I’ll nuke everything” cause someone sent him a mean tweet. #Sad. And even if by some other wild card donald were to get impeach over prostitutes pissing on him or whatever the fuck else the shithead got recorded doing, the problem would still be the same: compromised government, completely invalid election, proven concept for aspiring global dictator, and resounding triumph of white Amerikkka’s “values”. The only way to do something which means a damn is to go out in force, quickly.

In a week marked by reporters get yelled at, at the White House, over crowd size “alternative facts”, a week in which we find donald had the inauguration pictures photoshoped to make his hands look bigger (what a fucking LOSER. That dick must really be in the micro category, I swear), a week in which the president elect goes nuts with executive orders to, out of pure spite, demolish the Obama legacy (donald is so insanely jealous of 44 that it clouds whatever shred of reason that pea brain of his can still muster) while simultaneously rambling about a blatant lie of millions of illegals voting while people in his goddamn entourage are actually guilty of voter fraud, a miserable week which saw government put a gag order on agencies divulging scientific facts, making them create “rogue” twitter accounts, an alarming week with revelations that staff and golden showers himself use all kinds of unprotected email services, the same thing which haunted Clinton forever without a shred of substance to it and that now, apparently, is totally cool, a sad week in which the megalomaniac embarrassment moved forward with orders to keep women in children stranded in war zones...is a week in which everyone should be planning exactly how seriously they want to contribute to the containment of this situation. personally, I suggest very and as soon as possible.

[This take on things is my own. Will not try to impose it nor debate it]

#the resistance #impeach trump #dump trump #illegitimate #illegitimate POTUS #PEEOTUS #ban trump #resist #resistence #Fuck Donald Trump #dumptrump #impeachtrump

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