#you are all so lovely and kind

[sam-loves-seb]

went so far to soothe this soul

Mickey eyes the plain white envelope suspiciously as he slowly takes it from Ian’s hands. His brows furrow slightly. “I thought for sure you’d make us take the day off from work.” “No, not today,” Ian says playfully, pretending to think about it. “But tomorrow, don’t bother setting your alarm.” Mickey grins, all teeth. “Long weekend?” The hopefulness in his eyes is already enough to convince Ian that what he has planned is a good idea. Just the prospect of a day off has Mickey beaming. “Extra-long,” Ian tells him, rolling over to the side and propping his elbow up on the mattress, his head resting on his fist. “We took Monday off too.”

// ian and mickey celebrate their fourth anniversary together

[ read the rest on ao3 ]

[ inspired by this wonderful fanart by @mikhailoisbaby ]

#happy anniversary gallavich #and roughly happy one year of being in this fandom to me #you are all so lovely and kind #thank you for letting me play in your sandbox #mwah #gallavich #shameless #went so far to soothe this soul #my gallavich fic #my shameless fic

[pokimoko]

I can't keep being fundamentally changed as a person by animated movies, it's just not sustainable.

#animation #animated film #animated movies #across the spiderverse #across the spider-verse #spiderverse #puss in boots #puss in boots the last wish #puss in boots 2 #nimona #nimona film #yes i'm posting this specifically because i just watched nimona and am feeling all kinds of things but really these are all PEAK TIER #the fact they have ALL been released within 7 months of each other...like...woah we are thriving right now #stylised animation with its own unique style reflecting the movie i love you forever kissing you on the mouth #films that make me ferally rip up any and all art blocks to shreds #and that's just the animation side of things #i won't get started on the plots. they also make me want to bounce off of walls #hugging all these close to my chest #as well as all the other great animated movies that exist because animation wins all catergories for me always #(let's not forget anime movies either; y'all are beautiful too! keeping 2d animation alive and i'm so here for it)

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[soulmvtes]

honestly people were so right about how when the right people come along, the way you love them will come so naturally

#like i mean this for every kind of love #they make you want to do things and say things and its all just so !!! #its easy w them #diary #tiyas thoughts

[theonewhowails]

cult trait: good die young

#my art #cotl #cotl lamb #as you can tell. my lamb is SO normal #i wanted to do a thing that showed what kind of a cult leader they were without being like. 25 pages long sakjhfsdg #surprisingly hard???? what can i say i love dramatic spacing and plotlines that slowly build over time. its my curse #this lamb btw is largely based off of the way i played cotl in my first full playthrough. i call this one the Collector #because they do all the fucked up shit you need to in order to collect all the follower forms etc

[egophiliac]

like mother, like son, but less wholesome this time?

(I couldn't decide whether or not to put them together, so have them in all the different ways!)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers #if i had a nickel for every time a draconia ob'd while trying to save lilia #and had to be taken out by a member of this one specific bloodline with sparkly celestial hair that a fairy blessed #et cetera and so on you know the rest #i mean we know it's going to end better this time but y'know. the parallels! #oh meleanor my beloved #of course...of course she ob'd...it makes sense... #everything about this whole situation just massively sucked for everyone huh #well at least silver's biodad felt guilty about killing her i guess #i dunno i'm just havin' some feelings about all of this #lilia had both the absolute worst and absolute best things about his life come out of all this #down the two great loves of his life and also his job and reputation and 200 years of his life and uhhhh kind of everything else honestly #up some kids though! #(also one of those kids is a baby dragon who is JUST the right size to put silly hats on) #they were worth it to him! or maybe they were worth not giving up? look i am DEEP in the blorbosauce right now #if you don't want to read emotional tags about lilia twistedwonderland then don't come to egophiliac.tumblr.com

[pakchoys]

there's going to be a doctor who renaissance someday soon and when you finally give 12 a chance you will come crawling to my door and say i was right all along. that weird old man does fuck so hard after all

#if you stopped watching because 'he's mean' so were all the others !!!! #the doctor has a mean shell around them and you have to boil them and peel them like a hard boiled egg and inside they are soft and so #so full of love. 12's whole arc is him wondering if he's to cruel too heartless and by the end of it he's just so unashamedly kind #he's been peeled. my little hard-boiled egg. #doctor who

[withdenim]

Local man desperately trying to stop the cycle before it gets to his kids (it’s already there)

#with great power comes You Are Still A Child. Be A Child. Do Not Kill This Part Of Yourself Because You Think I Won’t Love You If You Don’t #‘there comes a time when we all must grow up’ and that time has no obligation to come at 15 #ninjago #lego ninjago #my art #lloyd garmadon #dragons rising #ninjago lloyd #ninjago sora #lloyd and sora have so many fuckinf parallels man I’m crazy #they keep doing the same things they keep being like each other #that’s his kind of daughter TO ME

[beybuniki]

that time period when bakugo is worried sick about deku & the implications of being an ofa vessel but he’s still too proud to verbalize his worries so he just silently watches deku like a helicopter parent and nags like yea bakugo!!!! burying the hatchet won’t magically make you guys understand each other you actually have to verbalize your thoughts!!!! Deku doesn’t know you’re that worried you have to tell him!!!! Maybe that will make him less reckless!!!!friendship is magic but friendship is also so much work!!!!! (I like to think that bakugo just stares at deku while fighting his demons (vulnerability) and deku is clueless and everyone else is a bit scared that this weird prolonged eye contact means that we’re gonna have a bkdk fight act IV)

#kind of related I love how most of that fic is dedicated to bakugo and deku realizing that they can’t just assume thing you have to #sit down and talkkkk #anyway these sketches are for the manga but yeah I like to observe bakugo’s internal struggle #and I get ittttt it can be so hard to just say the words it’s so much easier to nag and try to control others #I think bakugo would love to be a little control freak when it comes to deku like stop going doing everything by yourselfffffd #crazyyyy how that’s how he basically dies like he rlly shouldn’t be there but he has to this is bakugo after all

[twinstxrs]

idk if this is accurate but i’ve felt like in previous seasons riz & gorgug have been one of the inter-bad kids dynamics we’ve seen the least of & this season has been so great in that aspect. gorgug having helped make some of riz’s magic gear. riz helping gorgug with his studies. the shared birthday party. gorgug’s gift to riz being something he himself made to protect riz. riz’s gift to gorgug being something he illegally grabbed to protect gorgug. gorgug who utilizes rage to put his body on the line for his friends & riz who will take deep levels of mental stress for his friends. even though it was within the context of a joke, riz calling gorgug an “absolute sweetie.” like yea they might not be in a band together or both part of a presidential campaign team or owlbears teammates, but they’d go to war for each other, because they’re best friends.

#riz gukgak #gorgug thistlespring #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #these kids are all so self-sacrificing but i do think riz gorgug are the most clear (& juxtaposed) self-sacrificers #riz will mentally tear himself to pieces and get lost in cases and take on ungodly levels of stress for those he loves #gorgug will use himself as a human shield. he will take hit after hit if it means his friends are okay. #and they’d both do the other thing too. riz would let himself get hit for gorgug. gorgug would pull all nighters & take stress for riz. #even if mechanically they can’t or it wouldn’t make sense. they would if they could. #also #the starstruck barry mechanic of being a guard is so gorgug. it’s soooo gorgug like that’s literally him #anyways love this tall green guy & this short green guy so much #especially because gorgug is tall & considered intimidating but protective in a deeply kind way #while riz is short & underestimated but protective in a deeply vicious way (affectionate) #i hope this makes sense but i think riz is primarily ‘i would kill for you’ & gorgug is primarily ‘i would die for you’ maybe #this does not mean gorgug would not kill for riz or riz would not die for gorgug. they both would. #but those are the primary ways their love manifests due to the nature of their strengths/personalities. To Me #idk this is all just me saying stuff when i should be sleeping 😭 #sorry if i missed a riz gorgug moment in the main post btw i’m tired

[catsauceeartofficial]

Accepting isolation, craving belonging

#art #digital art #comic #long post #this is kind of vent? #I don't want to be all I had a rough childhood wahh #I just find it bizarre to have so many little aspects of my childhood shape me #I crave isolation #I thrive in isolation #But I want to belong #I want to intimately know someone #and I want someone to intimately know me #This is to all the people who have loved me #even if we dont talk anymore #i love you and have loved you and i want nothing but for you to be happy #original post

[thyming]

Moodboard for the name ,,Mariela" ♡

(Pics from Pinterest, gif from Insta)

#be kind to yourself. 🧸 #i love you! 🩷🍃 #i am such a sucker for crystals #so i try to find a pretty gif for all of the moodboards i make😭😭 #cottagecore #cottageblr #cottage core #cottage aesthetic #cottagecore aesthetic #grandmacore #farmcore #nature #naturecore #purple cottacecore #fairycore #faery core #fairy aesthetic

[keferon]

Well...I have to say I know nothing about canon Combaticons and their gestalt, but I read The Combiner Quirks of the Combaticons by Gayrob0t today and this is so so good odktjfjfmfn I just had to draw at least one scene from it

#transformers #maccadam #Combaticons #Bruticus #First aid #tf first aid #LISTEN #this fic is f u n n y #I love those idiots even though I know nothing about them #First Aid having...a time.. #just imagine being a part of a gestalt #and then the whole other gestalt is getting a crush on you #what kind of rainbow mess is this #ahahahah #anyway #size difference is fun #the denial all Combaticons are boiling in is also fun #this fic is in progress #so it's not my usual 50-100k words hahah #it is pretty short and absolutely hilarious rigkjfkgm #fic fanart

[commsroom]

the u.s.s. horrible unending nightmare 💥 (once again from the incredible @hehearse)

#wolf 359 #w359 #doug eiffel #hera wolf 359 #hera w359 #art #id in alt text #i've been holding onto this one for a little while. for no particular reason i just wanted to. #but here it is #thank you so so much!! #incredible eye for detail as always and i'm obsessed with how you draw people. and also. everything #this is such a good eiffel. the circle kind of suggesting a helmet worked out so well. the way you did the star!! the glitch effects!! #the use of an actual sound clip and the heart monitor through it and all of it through his chest. genius to me. #and this ended up leaning more in the direction of eiffel's general repeated misfortune but i also really love the element of #eiffel and hera both being prisoners treated as test subjects. i like how it can read as much like him being pulled away as falling. #and with the soundwave and communication as a bridge and that specific clip from mayday and hera being the voice in his head that saves him #etc. etc. i love it thank you so much again!! <3

[christakisbang]

#my baby my love my everything i hope u have a day as wonderful and sweet and lovely as u are #stray kids #bang chan #bang chan gifs #stray kids gifs #skz #skz gifs #my gifs #cbbc2023 #ah. not to get sappy in the tags since im already using all my characters to get sappy in his bubble but. hm. he's very very very important #to me. kind of like. extremely special. #just. im so bad with words but idk if id be here without him and if i was id be deeply deeply unhappy? so im always gonna be grateful to hi #and his music and his company and his care #he's just so kind and sweet and deeply deeply caring and i know birthdays aren't special to him but i hope he gets to eat good food today #and spend time with people he loves & who love him in return and just has heaps of fun. today and every day i just hope he's happy #if he's half as happy as he makes me on the daily then i never have to wish for anything else #um. anw. silly little post for his day that did not warrant all that gut spilling. happy birthday my guy of all time. i love you

[userjiminie]

jungkook trying (and failing) to beat the cute allegations cr. jung-koook for @jung-koook

#i was gonna go through the whole concert but this was already too long haha #this is a thank you for being so kind and supportive and just all-around great 🥰 i hope this makes u smile #jeon jungkook #jungkookedit #btsgif #btsedit #userbangtan #dailybts #usersky #userkelli #annietrack #*g #cutest boy to ever walk this earth #the golden concept is lovely as an album but as a concert lighting it's a nightmare to gif thank u for coming to my ted talk