#yes that is a boygenius lyric what about it

[charmre]

Thank my father before me His mother before him Who would I be without you, without them?

#Dragon Age #Dragon Age: Origins #Eden Cousland #Warden Cousland #Alyssa arts #been working on this on and off again for a while now #yes that is a boygenius lyric what about it #∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ #I never finished the game bc the PS3 I was playing it on crashed and lost all my data for ALL of my games ahahahahah #I got past Orzammar and I had Alistair give me the rose bc 17? year old me romanced him #And then I got cold feet and stopped playing #and THEN all my shit crashed when I went back to play it a few years later #(yes it took me a few years to get back to Alistair confessing his love for my Cousland I'm sorry Alistair) #will I ever get back to the game? I've tried to but it just feels like me trying to speedrun where I was before and that takes the fun out #so idk :( #but if I ever do y'all will know lol I'll stop rambling now

[astonmartinii]

bite the hand | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x fem musician!reader [face claim: clairo + clairo, boygenius and taylor swift music]

having fans are great, but sometimes it goes to far and you have to bite the hands that feed you

MASTERLIST | TIPS

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 913,551 others

tagged: beabadoobee

yourusername: howdy ladies, gentlemen and all that's in between, it's single release day. i had so much fun on this track with bea and getting to pour all of my love for maxy onto such a cute melody... hope you all enjoy my loves x

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user1: YES THANK YOU MOM THIS IS JUST WHAT I NEEDED TODAY

landonorris: how many letters in devoured?

yourusername: ATE 💅

landonorris: ate and left NO crumbs

maxverstappen1: why oh why did i ever introduce you two

yourusername: because you love us both?

maxverstappen1: i sure love you, jury is out on lando

landonorris: boooooooooo

user2: ugh if y/n had to date an f1 driver why couldn't she go for one of the hot ones like lando or charles?

user3: for real like bro he just drags her down

user4: you can't be serious? he's a professional athlete at the top of his sport and by what they show us a massive softy who loves y/n? why would we want anything else for her?

liked by yourusername

user5: y/n will NOT stand for any max bashing idk why you guys try it every time

maxverstappen1: so unbelievably talented and the artist of her generation

yourusername: maybe it's because i have a top notch muse ?

maxverstappen1: NO NO IT'S ALL YOU YOU ARE THE ARTIST I AM JUST LUCKY TO BE IN YOUR VICINITY

yourusername: i am the lucky one baby

danielricciardo: leave your cute shit offline i already have to hear it all of the time let me be on instagram

yourusername: nope love my boyfriend too much

maxverstappen1: nope love my girlfriend too much

user6: they're so insufferable i love them

user7: this song bangs so much more when you pretend it's not about ... him

user8: bro is acting like max verstappen ran over his puppy

user7: sorry i don't want a GREAT artist and BEAUTIFUL woman being dragged down by THAT

user9: you are insane, you do not know y/n, you enjoy her music, that doesn't give you the right to have power over things in her personal life

user10: you people are why this fanbase has a bad name and before long y/n will get fed up too

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 829,043 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: the off weekend spent right

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user13: i need a man so obsessed with me that all he does is post my face

user14: crazy that all this guy does is wax lyrical about how much he loves her and she's like never at his races ... interesting

user15: and her weirdly entitled fanbase say he doesn't deserve her when she clearly doesn't support him as much as he supports her

yourusername: i love you and our soft little weekends, i wanna do it all the time :(

maxverstappen1: gosh our day jobs are really quite unconventional i guess we should just retire to a remote island to live on a small farm?

yourusername: you said it not me i just wanna be anywhere with you

maxverstappen1: i love you <3

user16: RETIRE TO A REMOTE ISLAND? SOMEONE TELL THIS RAT THAT IF HE IS THE REASON WE DON'T GET MUSIC WE WILL RIDE AT DAWN

user17: babe have you ever thought that maybe the reason he said that he wants to retire away from everyone because you people stick your noses in all the time

danielricciardo: @yourusername a soft weekend you say? how many hours did max spend on the sim?

yourusername: a solid ten but he even let me have a go

danielricciardo: oh wow that man really is in love

maxverstappen1: i think she'd rival a couple of you with some practice, i'm working on getting her to join redline

user18: ugh this is so annoying... preaching like you like spending time with your girlfriend and then spend it all playing a video game and letting her have one go?

user19: the sim is something f1 drivers use to train? if anything max probably shouldn't have let y/n have a go she could've accidentally changed the set up or other things

user20: i'm seeing charles and lewis training this off weekend and he just lies in bed with this girl? he really needs to ditch her to stay at the top

user21: literally two comments up is them talking about him training on the sim the jealousy is insane from both fans at this point

maxverstappen1

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 893,442 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: happy to take home another win in mexico, i love this track and am forever thankful to this team and my loved ones.

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user25: holy shit idk what f1 can do but the paddock looked insane today there's no way that is safe for the drivers and personnel.

user26: there's so many videos of people rushing max and although some of them look like max fans who are just excited but there were a lot of very rude rival fans trying to get too close for comfort

yourusername: forever proud of you !! you're like jimmy and sassy with zoomies on crack <3

maxverstappen1: that is the highest of the high compliment thank you my love

yourusername: champagne is on me girlypops no expense spared for the love of my life

redbullracing: do we all qualify as girlypops ???

yourusername: of course !! don't think i didn't notice the supply of vegan pizza rolls you truly are the lactose intolerant allies of the grid

user27: can she stop spending all her hard earned money on this scrub that just uses her

user28: bro makes millions in a year he doesn't NEED her but that doesn't mean he can't want her? you guys are crazy

user29: some of these fans need to do some serious evaluation, drivers are not zoo animals, they are people and deserve respect and that includes respect to their personal space.

user30: for real like why was brad basically having to act as a body guard for max and y/n

user31: this was such a dangerous event for max and y/n. they're both very famous individuals and should be able to move around the paddock without being in danger.

user32: max joked about getting a body guard for this weekend but i think he should seriously consider it especially is y/n is coming to more races while she's not touring

danielricciardo: it has been brought to my attention that y/n has stated that she will spare no expense, i am making a formal enquiry into whether this will cover my bar tab?

yourusername: i will within reason but only because your bffs with maxy and will drink the fruity lil cocktails with me

danielricciardo: REAL men drink cocktails

maxverstappen1: do NOT disrespect the humble gin and tonic on my post

user33: i'm glad they're in high spirits after the shenanigans in the paddock today and the booing towards max :(

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, maxverstappen1 and 1,442,776 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: there is no full way to articulate my feelings right now. my fans have to respect my personal relationships and my boundaries. i appreciate your support but you have to understand that i am not your personal friend and you do not have the right to my personal life. i also understand that in sport, there are a lot of heightened emotions, but drivers do not owe you their safety. this is something i have felt for a long time since max and i became a public couple and the onslaught of hate came for him. you may say that it comes from a good place, or for my best interests, but the manner in which some 'fans' have expressed their 'worries' is unacceptable. i do not want to bite the hand that feeds me, but there's only so many slaps me and my loved ones can take from the hand.

bite the hand is out on all streaming platforms. please listen closely a re-evaluate your relationships with your favourite artists, thank you.

comments are not available on this post.

maxverstappen1

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,220,664 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: i love you and i will never let other people tell me when i'm not enough get in my head again. we both appreciate our support and acknowledge that we would be nowhere without it. but our relationships are ours, please respect this.

comments are not available on this post

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,344,229 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: okay sad songs are important but it's now time for me to sing my wee little heart out about how much i love you and how i know we were always made for each other.

i love you maxy, invisible string is all about my muse. out now.

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user41: IT BANGS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

user42: ffs i guess we're stuck with this man for life now ...

user43: LISTEN TO BITE THE HAND AND BANG YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE WALL AND HEAR THE PINBALLS OF YOUR BRAIN GOING CRAZU

user44: speak your truth sis

maxverstappen1: ISN'T IT JUST SO PRETTY TO THINK THAT ALL ALONG THERE WAS SOME INVISIBLE STRING TYING YOU TO ME

maxverstappen1: so true, you make me believe in soulmates YOU ARE MY SOULMATE I LOVE YOU

yourusername: i love you to the moon and to saturn for real

yourusername: and that thread of gold is made from all of your trophies LET'S GO RAHHHHHHHH I'M SO PROUD OF YOU

maxverstappen1: the gold of that grammy @thegrammys yall heard bags?

user45: the way they're each others wags and completely embrace it

user46: i love that they're still their goofy asses they don't give a shit abou t yall

user47: y/n dropped a heart wrenching track and immediately went ... but hey i'm SUPER happy and that's all you're going to hear

landonorris: so like can y/n remix the dutch anthem so we can actually bop every weekend

yourusername: i kinda wanna marry the king of the netherlands so maybe not

landonorris: you broke up ?????

yourusername: no you dumbass max is the king of the netherlands

maxverstappen1: not factually but i do have a medal from the royal family so same thing

landonorris: why do you guys have to clown on me every time

yourusername: you're like our baby brother it's our duty

maxverstappen1: sorry not sorry

user48: you could never make me hate them they're made for each other

user49: finally bite the hand shamed the crazy bitches into finally shutting the fuck up

note: i love bite the hand i actually fear it might be my fave boygenius song and i recommend it to everyone. i actually did my university dissertation on parasocial relationships with athletes so like i feel like a good couple of sports fans could do with a listen to bite the hand. hope yall enjoyed and had a good weekend !! (chelsea gave me a heart attack but what's new, even though i was too sick to go to the game:()

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 #f1 x you #f1 social media au #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen x you #max verstappen instagram au #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen

[outofmydepthatapublicbeach]

the field- Julien Baker x fem!reader

summary: After getting back from the craziness of tour, you and Julien crave something spontaneous, which leads you to "frolicking" in a field.

jj chats: this was completely inspired by the photo below!!! and im not sure who took or where it orginically came from, I found it on pinterest!!

word count: 1000ish

warnings: RPF, kissing, the "L" word, pet names (just baby i think)

feedback is encouraged and i'd love to get some just please be kind!!!

You and Julien wouldn’t exactly call yourselves an adventurous couple. You appreciated familiarity. The comfort of a close-by restaurant, the same paths to walk on, you two were homebodies, through and through. With the end of Boygenius’ tour, came the end of the constant traveling and the constant sight-seeing that came with visiting the world's largest cities. You two loved being able to relax in your own home again. Until that feeling of wanting more kicked in, you both started to crave those impulsive, on-the-go feelings that came with being on tour.

One morning, still curled up in your array of fluffy blankets, your girlfriend rolls on her side, turning to face you, “Do you want to get out of town for a little while?”

“What do you mean?” You ask, cocking your head.

“You know, go somewhere else, I feel like we’ve been trapped in this house for far too long.” She laughed, face scrunching up.

You thought about it for a second, you were a little bored, “That would be fun, where were you thinking of going?” You suddenly felt all giddy with the idea of getting away for a little bit, especially just you and Julien.

“Maybe a road trip? That could be fun,” Julien giggles, wrapping her body around yours.

Your smile is ear-to-ear as you say “A road trip is then!”

It takes the two of you an hour to get up, enjoying the warmth and comfort of your bed a little too much. But when you two do get up, you start grabbing chargers and toothbrushes and packing little two-nighter bags. Getting ready to stuff it all into your car and drive off into the sunset. Once in the car, Julien drives (naturally) you are in charge of the music.Pretty soon the car is filled with the sounds of your voices screaming out lyrics as you drive fast down the highway. 

〇〇 〇〇 〇〇 〇〇 〇〇

“Jules?” 

Julien glances over at you, hand resting on your thigh “Yes baby?”

“How long have we been on the road?” 

“I think about three hours,”

Looking around, you spot nothing but fields full of tall grass. “Where are we going again?”

“Nowhere in particular,” Her head turns to the side, facing you, while still keeping her eyes on the road. “Do you want to stop here and explore?”

A funny look dawns on your face as you stare blankly at Julien “But we’re in the middle of nowhere, there's only fields around here.”

As if a light bulb actually went off above her head, Juliens eyes and facial features lit up, “You just gave me the best idea ever! I’m gonna pull off the road up here!”

“Wait Jules what!” Your hand grasps the center console as your car takes a sharp turn to the left. The car slowed down as it approached a patch of land that was just dirt. Decades of cars parked in the same spot left indents into the ground like the intricacies of a fingerprint. 

Julien stopped the car and unhooked her seat belt, giving you a wild smile. She suddenly threw open her car door and jumped out, slamming the door behind her. Your eyes tracked her figure as she jogged over to your side, opening the door for you like the gentleman she was. 

She reached a hand out to help you get out of the car. “Jules, what are we doing?'' Your hand fell into hers, a natural instinct at this point. She tugged on your hand as you were now standing on the dirt patch. You closed the car door behind as Julien led you into the field.

The grass was so tall you couldn’t see over it, which concealed you and your beloved from anyones view, not that there was anyone close enough to stare, as you were still in the middle of nowhere. Yet the thought of this level of privacy was so intimate to you. Spending quality time with the love of your life had never felt as good as it did right now. Julien continued to lead you through the field, using her own body to push through the grass that was taller than her. 

“Isn’t this fun?” she erupted in giggles. After a little more wading through the field she turned to you, looking deeply into your eyes. “I always wanted to frolic in a field with you.” 

“Doesn’t frolicing require dancing around?” you laugh ebulliently.

Julien giggled at your comment, “Let me rephrase that, I’ve always wanted to walk around a field with you.” 

Your grasp on her hand tightened, tugging her closer to you. The air was chilly, yet the combined body heat was enough to warm you. Julien’s other hand found a place on your cheek, brushing some hair behind your ear. Leaning into her palm you whispered “I’m so happy right now.”

“Is that so?” Julien murmured, entranced. Her gaze, however safe you felt in it, always made you feel as if she was staring into your soul, memorizing each fear, each dream, each crack and crevice. Committing them to memory so she’d never forget. You’d never felt so vulnerable, so loved.

The feelings you held were hard to put to words, so you decided to simply say “Just you…make me happy. So happy.” 

Julien’s face broke out in a heart-mending smile. She leaned in, closing the distance between you two with a gentle kiss. You free hand snaked its way around her neck, pulling her in even closer. The kiss turned from one of a more innocent approach to one that was feuled by passion. Lips melted together in one harmonisous rhythm of love.

When you both pulled away for air, the silence was replaced with 3 simple words, words that you had been praying every night to hear from Julien, “I love you.”

Your cheeks hurt from how hard you were smiling, yet the pain felt good, it felt right. In the moment nothing else mattered but the woman in front of you.

#julien baker x reader #julien baker fanfic #boygenius x reader #julien baker fluff #muna #jj writes #wlw #wlw post #sfw #lesbian #sapphic #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lesbians

[starbaby-7]

My list of songs so Hannigram coded it’s insane and the lyrics that make them so:

Salt in the Wound- Boygenius

‘You put salt in the wound, and a kiss on my cheek. You butter me up and you sit down to eat’

‘Neck full of mockingbirds all calling your name…I’m gnashing my teeth like a child of Cain’

I’m Your Man- Mitski

‘You’re an Angel, I’m a dog. Or you’re a dog and I’m you’re man. You believe me like a God, I destroy you like I am.’

‘I’m sorry I’m the one you love, no one will ever love me like you again so when you leave me I should die. I deserve it don’t I?’

Famous Last Words (an Ode to Eaters) - Ethel Cain

‘Look at me baby, dead in my eyes. It’s the end of our holiday, but it isn’t goodbye. Carry me with you all of the time.’

‘Eat of me baby, skin to the bone. Body on body until I’m all gone. But I’m with you inside.’

It Will Come Back- Hozier

All I’m gonna say is first verse is Hannibal POV, second is Will POV talking to eachother I could write a damn essay on this song and Hannigram

Shrike- Hozier

‘The words hung above, but never would form. Like a cry at the final breathe that is drawn. Remember me love, when I am reborn as the Shrike to your sharp and glorious thorn.’

‘Had no idea on the ground i was founded, oh that goodness is gone with you now. Then I met you, my virtues uncounted. My goodness is goin with you now.’

‘Back to the hedgerow where the bodies are mounted’

Abbey- Mitski

‘I am hungry, I have been hungry, I was born hungry, what do I need?’

Butchered Tongue- Hozier

This one I think is Will when he married Molly and settling into his new life but still looking for Hannibal in everything.

UPDATE:

Talk- Hozier

Once again getting into the Greek mythology themes and Hannigram parallels. Orpheus and Eurydice as Will and Hannibal haunts me.

‘I’d be the immediate in Eurydice, imagine being loved by me.”

Paralleled with the scenes of Hannibal and Wills seperate “I forgive you”.

Me and My Husband - Mitski

‘At least in this lifetime we’re sticking together.’

This is a little cracky, but this song reminds me of the way Hannibal and Will are chasing potentials and scenarios where they can stay together. Teacups and all that and yes the world is on fire but Hannibal and Will are together so it’s okay.

Breezeblocks- alt-j

Enough said.

NFWMB - Hozier

‘Give your heart and soul to charity. Because the rest of you, the best of you Honey belongs to me.’

The possessiveness of Hannibal and Will over eachother is insane, we know this. And I think people forget that Will is just as bad as Hannibal about it. (Just see any interaction between Bedelia and Will for evidence)

Salvatore- Lana Del Rey

“The summers wild and I’ve been waiting for you all this time. I adore you can’t you see you were meant for me?”

“Catch me if you can…dying at the hand of a foreign man, happily.”

Once More to See You- Mitski

“But with everybody watching us, our every move. We do have reputations, we keep it secret, won’t let them have it.”

“If you would let me give you pinky promise kisses then I wouldn’t have to scream your name.”

Televangelism- Ethel Cain

No lyrics in this one, just piano and the sound of me crying softly. This song is EVERYTHING the Primavera scene was in Dolce. Please listen. The slow build, the melodic flutter of a heartbeat the rise and ascension when they see each other and smile at one another, the acceptance of fate, the knowledge of love. “You and I have begun to blur.”

anything - Adrienne Lenker

“I don’t wanna be the owner of your fantasy I just wanna be a part of your family.”

Savior Complex- Phoebe Bridgers

“Drift off on the floor, I drag you to the shore. Sweating through the sheets you’re gonna drown in your sleep for sure. Wake up and start a fire in our one room apartment but I’m too tired to have a pissing contest, all the bad dreams that you hide show me yours I’ll show you mine.”

“Baby you’re a Vampire, you want blood and I promised I’m a good liar with a savior complex.”

Pre-Mizumono to Post-Fall Hannigram can be found everywhere in this song.

OKAY OKAY THATS IT IF YOU STAYED THIS LONG THANKS IF YOU WANT MORE HANNIGRAM LISTEN TO MY PLAYLIST ITS CHALK FULL OF ANGST

#Hannibal #hannibalnbc #will and abigail #hannibal loves will #will loves hannibal #hannigram #hannibal and will #mitski #Hozier #Ethel Cain #Hozier actually got a degree in Hannigram I’m convinced #like man said here have all the death and cannibalism #i’m obsessed #they’re so special to me #hannibal lecter #will Graham #Abigail Hobbs #Beverly Katz #freddie lounds #Minnesota shrike #chesapeake ripper #Spotify

[jucyfruit]

Catching Up with Lucy Dacus and Fenne Lily

by Lucy Dacus | 11/13/20

Lucy Dacus is a Richmond, Virginia-based singer-songwriter and one-third of the folk supergroup boygenius; Fenne Lily is Bristol, UK-based singer-songwriter whose album BREACH was released in September by Dead Oceans. For this phone call, the two friends set out to dive deep on their recent dreams, and ended up taking in much, much more.

— Annie Fell, Talkhouse Senior Editor

Fenne: Before this call, I was just looking you up. Is that weird?

Lucy: You were listening to my music?

Fenne: Yeah!

Lucy: That’s so funny, I was listening to your music. “I, Nietzsche.”

Fenne: [Laughs.] You actually were one of the many reasons why I broke up with the guy that that song is about.

Lucy: Oh, my god, I didn’t like him at all.

Fenne: Do you remember? It was literally the first time I met you, pretty much, or maybe the second time. I was with him and he tried to pull me out of the conversation because he wanted to go home or something — probably to read Nietzsche. And you were like, “Don’t touch my girl like that.” And I was like, Lucy Dacus just called me her girl, and I need to leave this boy. [Laughs.]

Lucy: I felt quickly defensive of you. We had hardly met, but he was just acting so brutish. It was like, Damn, who is this guy? It was so brutish that I thought maybe you didn’t even know him, but then you were like, “No, I’m actually with him.”

Fenne: Yeah, he’s been inside me. [Laughs.] I mean, you’re someone who makes good decisions, so you’re probably not going to answer this with a yes, but have you ever been with someone that you’re like, “I can’t believe that I gave them my body, and my heart.”

Lucy: Yeah, I am easily disgusted by the idea of some of the people that I used to really have tenderness for. But then I realize, that was not a bad quality, to be able to find good things about a bad person. Even that’s tough, to call someone just a straight up bad person, but someone that I really don’t like now, I try not to be like, I’m such an idiot. That was just a part of growing, realizing that just because they have a couple good qualities doesn’t mean that they have to be my life partner.

Fenne: Yeah, I mean, I like to think of the really bad relationships I’ve been in as, like, an exercise in compassion, to an extent where now retrospectively I can see that they were manipulating me. But at the time, I was so ready to be like, You’re just an injured soul and you need a safe place, and I can be that place. But that should only be for a time. And I think I’ve definitely seen people in those relationships for a long time and it starts wearing away at them, and the way that you see yourself like personally. So as much it’s a practice in being able to see past someone’s bad qualities, I know that there’s a cutoff point for that. But yeah, thanks for protecting me. [Laughs.]

Lucy: Yeah, I think that was actually after I went through my long, drawn out, like, worst relationship. And I think that since then, I’ve been overly defensive probably. Or I just love my friends so much that I feel like nobody deserves them, and I’m just like, and I’m just like, “Go away!” to most people that my friends date. That’s not totally true, but it’s like a recurring feeling. But yeah, I hardly knew you so I was probably overstepping a bound by trying to defend you.

Fenne: It made my heart soar, and I honestly felt safe. But you have that lyric that goes, “You don’t deserve what you don’t respect,” and I always kind of thought that you were singing about yourself, but maybe you’re singing generally about people that you love also.

Lucy: Yeah, I definitely thought it about other people first, because it’s easier to defend other people than yourself. And then I realize, I should take my own advice, but I’m still not so good at that. But I think I’m better at it.

Fenne: Do you ever find yourself writing yourself as a character so that you can make clearer judgments on your own shit? Like, do you ever make yourself the third person so you can be like, “Lucy should do this.”

Lucy: A lot of people I know great as a character, but I have no such self-control. I definitely wish that I could write it as an exercise, but writing often just feels sort of like throwing up. You know what I mean? All of a sudden it’s just there, and you don’t necessarily want it to be there, an inconvenience. And I don’t really know what I’m saying until the song is written. Like, I would really love to be able to say, like, Oh, I’d like to process this event in my life, or this thought, — I will make art about it. But that has never been a skill. I feel like all my songs start as subconscious vomit.

Fenne: I agree. I thought you were going to go the opposite direction, because as a person, you seem like someone who thinks before they speak and considers the weight and the repercussions of what they’re saying. So it’s interesting that your process doesn’t reflect what I see in your character, in that sense.

Lucy: I think it’s easier to talk to other people than to myself. I think that I carry a weight of, like, you know, say-what-you-mean when I’m talking to other people, but I don’t have a practice of talking like that to myself. So it’s just kind of forced upon me sometimes, that I end up talking to myself through writing a song. Is that how you write? Do you actually sit down and say, “I’m going to write about this,” and then you write a song about what you intend to write about?

Fenne: No, I have very little foresight or planning or structure to any part of my life, and it is definitely affecting the way I work. I literally get to the point where I haven’t written in so long that I’m furious at myself for not doing anything. And I sit down, and it is like word vomit. I’m like, Something’s coming out, I’m just going to let it happen, because if I don’t, it might never happen again. And often, I’m writing and I don’t know why I’m writing from the perspective I’m writing from.

At the moment I am in a relationship that I am really comfortable in, and he makes me feel brilliant most of the time, I still feel these inexplicable periods of sadness that almost make me feel guilty, because he obviously sees me going through this and maybe thinks it’s a reflection on him. And often those are the feelings that come out when I’m writing. I think it’s a hangover from being a kid and being unable to talk about how I feel to my family, despite the fact that they’re really emotionally intelligent people and completely up fo talking about feelings, I was almost rebelling against that. So I started writing at that time because I literally couldn’t get out my feelings in any other way. I feel like I still do that, where I’m subconsciously storing up fuel to then speak to myself about songs, rather than having to vocalize it in words. So it’s never a case of being like, I’m gonna write a song about global warming — although now that I’ve said that, maybe I should do that. [Laughs.]

Lucy: I feel like it’s really rare to write about topical things and have it actually be good. I have some family members who are just like, “You should really write a song about everything that’s going on in these uncertain times!” And I’m just like, no. I just feel like my perspective isn’t necessary — just, like, as a white person, I simply don’t need to be taking up space. I’m grateful I have a platform that I can put other voices onto, with the literal easiest thing ever of resharing things.

But yeah, I think it could be useful for you to do a song about global warming, I hope you end up writing one. That’d be awesome. But don’t be tacky — it’s weird to be like, Oh, this is topical. It just it ends up feeling really tacky, I think, as a listener.

Fenne: I think to an extent, everything that I’ve written during this pandemic situation… I haven’t written a lot, I’ve feeling really unconnected to myself, and the world, and feeling really weird. But in a sense, everything that you’re writing is about the fucked up stuff that’s going on, even if it’s not directly preaching. I feel like the way you and I write is naturally diaristic, and doesn’t feel completely separate from the stuff that’s going on. You’re quite a permeable person emotionally, I think, and I definitely am. It’s inescapable that outside stuff is inevitably going to become part of the material, even if you if you don’t say, “Trump” and “Brexit” and the whole thing.

But you’re right. I mean, I’m dreading next year when all these quarantine albums come out, where all the songs are going to be called like, “Masked and Alone,” and “My Wifi’s Too Slow.” Have you been writing a lot during this period, or have you been feeling a bit dead?

Lucy: I actually have been writing a lot because, I think I end up writing to escape the present and to not think about the future. I feel like most of my creative life comes from the past. Thinking about the future is scary and living in the present is scary, and the past is certain, it can’t be changed. It’s static. I journal, so I’ve been rereading my journals and kind of remembering some emotional things that I haven’t really put to rest yet, and so that’s just kind of ending up being what I’m writing about right now. And then I might write about what’s happening in the year 2020 in, like, 2025. Do you ever have a dialogue about where you’re writing about something like many years after?

Fenne: Yeah, 100 percent. This record that I just released, when I first started writing for it, it [was] really important for me to reflect the growth that I feel I’ve experienced since the first album came out. That was kind of my first thing — I was like, I need to almost prove that I changed, if not just to myself, to people that are listening to the music.

And then as I started writing, there was a lot of stuff coming up. I was having these conversations with my mum about why I always feel angry rather than sad as my go-to feeling, and how I always feel panicky very fast. And she was telling me that when I was born, I didn’t have that big intake of breath that normal births provide — I was a cesarean, I just got cut out — and she was like, “For the first year of the life, you were crying if you weren’t held and you were always in pain and your spine was all weird and you just were not comfortable in your skin.” That was so interesting to hear that, because I genuinely feel like I haven’t really changed that much from how I came into the world. I definitely think there’s something to be said for your entrance into the world influencing how you exist in that world. So as much as I’m like, I really want to write about being 21, I feel like I also want to talk about being two again. It wasn’t a conscious thing, but it happened.

But you’re right about the past, it isn’t going to change, and thinking about the future is really scary, especially when — I don’t know how the rules are changing in the states, but especially here, it’s like we’re being run by children. It’s like “You can do what you want! Oh, no, those people died. Well, that’s a shit. Maybe we should stay inside again. Oh, no, that hasn’t worked.” No one knows what’s going on and to even try and get your head around what it’s going to be like in a week or year is impossible. And that makes you feel powerless, and then that makes

Lucy: Have you been having any of weird dreams during lockdown?

Fenne: The first couple of weeks I didn’t have any dreams. I think I was still in a state of shock, where I was like, This doesn’t feel normal. I almost [felt] like when you smoke too much weed, and your waking mind is going crazy, and then when you go to sleep, your body’s like, I literally can’t do it any more crazy anymore.

That was my brain for a while, but then come week three or four, I started having terrifying — like, not even apocalyptic dreams, just dreams when nothing was right. I had those, like. “running on the spot trying to get away from something but I couldn’t,” just really visceral, realistic horror dreams. I don’t know when they stopped, but it was dark for a bit. What about you?

Lucy: I think similarly in the beginning, I wasn’t having a lot of dreams. I did have this one dream about me and a lot of friends touring this big, kind of mansion-like house that was furnished. And they were like, “Oh, look, there’s a room over here, I found a new room!” And we were all just running around, like, laughing and loving this huge house. So I woke up and I was like, You know what, I’m just going to get on Zillow and see if there’s a big place that I could just fit my fantasy into. And there was this place that was listed, like, three days prior, and it looked so similar to the house of my dream. So I called my friends that were in the dream and I was like, “Hey, do you want to move in together? I just had this dream and I found this house and we were all in it together.” And that actually happened in July, like I live in the house with the people that were in the dream

Fenne: Oh, my god, that’s amazing.

Lucy: Did you feel you were psychic ever?

Fenne: Stupid stuff, like I predicted my brother’s birth. I was sitting with my mom on the stairs of old house, and I was, like, one and a half or two. I was like, “It’s going to be a brother, I think,” or something like that. And she was like, “What are you talking about?” And I put my hand on her tummy and said, “It’s going to be a brother, but it’s a sister I had in mind.” And she was like, “That was weird,” and then she went to get a pregnancy test and she was a month pregnant.

Lucy: Oh, wow. I thought you were saying like, “My mom was pregnant, so I predicted that she would have a baby.”

Fenne: No, like straight up, she had no idea.

Lucy: That’s much more impressive.

Fenne: She didn’t tell me for a long time — maybe until I was 15 I didn’t know, because she was like, “I don’t want to give her false power, I don’t want her to think that everything she has a feeling about is going to happen.”

But I think I go through certain areas where I get a bad feeling and try and squash it if I don’t know anything about it, and then it’s proven to me that I was right. I moved into this really spooky house… when I first moved to Bristol I was in shared houses, and then I was like, I really want a place to live with a couple of friends. We were looking somewhere and we, in the process, got kicked out of our existing houses, so we had to rush finding a place. We settled on this house that was enormous and really cheap, and we didn’t know why it was so cheap but we didn’t really think about it.

When we first went to view it, I was like, This feels wrong. Something about the energy of this house is not nice. It doesn’t feel like we’re welcome here. And I told my friend, and he was like, “Well, we don’t really have the chance to be picky right now, and we don’t have any money.” So we moved in, and then a couple of weeks after we moved in I was sitting outside — we signed on for a year, so we couldn’t get out even if we wanted to. I was sitting outside the house and the next door neighbor talking to me, and we were chatting and she was like, “Do you know the story behind the house you just moved into?” I was like, “No, but please tell me because I don’t like it.” And basically, about 10 years ago, maybe less, this family next door, who still lives next door, the dad in the family shot some guy because they were in warring gangs — I live in a really rough bit of Bristol. He shot this guy and tried to hide the body in the basement of the house that we live in now, and then he tried to escape to the States, and his wife bought him the ticket — they both went down for a long time, and the kids were in care. Now the woman’s out of jail and she’s living next door with the kids. So I was like, “There’s been a dead body in my house.” And I feel like I knew that something was wrong and I ignored it, and then ever since that point, I had to live there for another 11 months. And I had all my practice equipment in the basement, I’d made it into a room where we could record, and then it just didn’t feel good from that point on. I didn’t want to go downstairs.

Lucy: If you felt good, I’d be really concerned. [Laughs.] I do feel like people like haunted houses sometimes, like some people really get into that. I don’t understand it. I feel like you can only be into it if you haven’t truly been affected by the haunting of the house.

Fenne: It’s the kind of thing that you want to go into for a trip, but t you don’t want to really live there. I don’t know about you, and I will ask you, but I didn’t really think I was that much of a believer in ghosts for a pretty long time, and then I was listening to this podcast where people tell real stories from their lives — it’s not scripted at all, at least that’s what they say. There’s so many stories of people moving into a house, getting a weird feeling, and then their kid start talking to ghosts. Some of the stories are so visceral and so complicated and so obviously made me see that there is another world that I haven’t personally come into contact with, but why would we not? Have you had ghost experiences?

Lucy: Oh, yeah, more recently. I feel like I’ve heard from friends that the more you open yourself up to it, the more that it comes to you. I feel like I was just kind of closed off for a really long time. Even that podcast, I’d have been like, “Oh, good stories,” like whether that’s true or not, it doesn’t really matter. But having had your own experiences and having friends tell you stories — it’s really hard to refute someone you care about saying like, “This happened,” or something happening in your life. I’ve seen and heard things that I can’t explain, and I don’t know if it’s ghosts, but certainly something has happened that is completely unreasonable and inexplicable.

I do feel like they have sort of an architectural tone — you know, like haunting, need a place for it, and I do feel like there are some places that I’ve had, like, weird experiences that feel kind of supernatural. I think that once I realized, like, Oh, this is real, life is just kind of… The possibility has been there, so more of it has just come into my life. Not really as much right now — like the house we moved into should absolutely be haunted, but I don’t think that it is. There is sort of a weird energy — and anybody should laugh at me for talking about it this way, probably — but like, the energy is benevolent. If this is a haunted house, it’s a chill ghost.

Fenne: I think there’s no reason to not think that the energy of the previous people in a place affect it. Even if you don’t think a ghost is like an actual vision of a person, an exact replica of that exact person, I definitely think some places have bad vibes, some places have good vibes. But you can’t change the feeling in a place. When I moved into my current place, it was trash — the people that lived here before that burned the carpets up and left all their furniture here, and there were scrapes on the walls and stuff, and, like, everything was painted black. It was so weird. And again, I was poor and didn’t have much choice. So I moved in by myself and made it really nice with my best friend, and actually hung a picture of your face on the wall — that’s one of the first things I did, and I think that really helped.

But then I was broken into when I was on tour, and they stole all my merch money, which was a huge blow, and my laptop which had all my demos on it. So I went back to the house and the whole feeling had completely changed. And I worked very hard to not let this be a negative place for me, and I feel like that’s just been completely invaded and disrupted. And I obviously was scared as well, so I just got three of my best friends to live with me for a month, just to reset the feeling. And it worked.

I mean, you know as well as anyone that music isn’t particularly lucrative when you’re in the beginning stages of it, and a grand in cash will see you through two months. And that was not possible because… I don’t know, I hope that it was someone that needed it a lot, because I don’t like thinking it was just some guy that was like, “You know what, I’m pissed and I want stuff.” But I think as a person, I generally kind of revert to running away from stuff that is bad. So I think if I hadn’t really thought about it and wanted to stay in this place, I would have just moved.

Lucy: I don’t know if I told you, but I was robbed in May of this year, during quarantine. So, yeah, I’m really sorry that happened to you. I have a whole new, you know, knowing what it feels like. I was actually in the house, and I woke up at 5AM and heard — but I have such a creative mind, to put it lightly, where often I’ll hear things and be like, Oh, that’s the absolute worst thing that could possibly be. And I think like that all the time, so I know not to let it take hold over my thoughts.

So I woke up at 5 and was like, Oh, it sounds like people are in the kitchen opening the window, and well, they’re probably gone if they are, and probably they aren’t even there in the first place. I’m gonna go back to sleep. But then I went downstairs and someone had taken my wallet and a laptop and all of the booze in the house, and some other trinkets. Luckily nothing so bad — we had guitars around, and the guitars weren’t taken. One time I was robbed and someone stole my journals of three years, like all my journals of my whole college experience before I dropped out, and that’s the worst. That still hurts so much, not having those years documented.

But yeah, I did move. That dream I had about a new house, it was the old house that got broken into, and then we moved to this house. I feel a lot safer, but I definitely felt like, on top of feeling isolated and not leaving the house — like literally not even going onto the porch for a long time — I just dissociated for like a month and a half, basically June and the beginning of July.

I don’t know, I think a lot of people are going through things like that, and the general state of life is so fragile that when negative events come into life, it just feels kind of harder to recover. But I definitely I feel a lot better now. Do you feel any better in your house?

Fenne: I do, although it was a while ago. But yeah, just imagining that feeling — I wasn’t in. I was abroad, so I had to wait like a week to get back. But I can’t imagine knowing. You knew something was up, but you convinced your brain that it was just doing that thing that it does, and being in and being invaded in that way. That’s fucked.

It just hurt me so deeply that you had your journals stolen — that’s like taking a chunk of someone’s whole brain. And they don’t have any use for that stuff. Like the way that I was trying to frame the break in when it happened was like, OK, that’s cash, that’s a laptop. If they need them, those will provide for them in some way. But I was almost like, Why couldn’t they have left my memory stick with my demos on it? Because that wouldn’t benefit them. They took a packet of photographs, which was, like old family photos.

But there is so much bad, life ruining stuff happening at the moment anyway. And granted, it happens always, and I do think that the BLM protests in Bristol came right at the perfect point where everybody was angry about how we are being governed as a country, generally, through the corona stuff. And then the BLM stuff came at a time where everyone was so ready to be unhappy with the way that the world is run.

It was almost like, I’m aware that racism hasn’t just arrived overnight, and everyone was just like, “Oh, no, racism exists.” But it happened at a time when everyone was really open to the possibility that stuff is bad still, and we really need to make an effort as a community to change that.

I mean, this is completely unrelated to the health stuff, but there are so much bad, bad shit going on, and it’s a conscious decision to, daily, allow it to come in in a way that you can process in a positive way. It’s just so easy to doomscroll and be like, Fuck, this is really bad. You need to kind of police yourself as to when you let that stuff in, because it’s so easy to just constantly be tapped into this modern hellscape.

I recently got locked out of Instagram for no real reason, and initially I was like, Damn, that’s where I get all my stuff from. And then I was like, Actually, this is great for me because I can focus on the closest things to me and how to change the things that I can change. And not just think that the big picture is unattainable and so badly ruined that I don’t feel like I have the power to change anything.

Lucy: So maybe just to close, we can each tell a recent dream that we had.

Fenne: Weirdly, when you said that we should talk about dreams for our theme, I just typed in “dreams” in my notes on my phone, and I screenshotted a bunch of them, but two of them are so, so similar that it freaked me out, firstly, and then I realized that they’re exactly a year apart.

Lucy: Woah, that it so weird.

Fenne: The second one was when I was in Chicago recording, and the first one was a year before that.

So the first one, all I’ve written is, “Dream: Breastfeeding on a beach thinking, This would make a beautiful photo. Shiny sticker, little Game Boy, tiny nipples, holding hands while a wave rolls over.” And then the second bit is, “Nana is hosting a Halloween party. Me getting skateboard advice from a kind, kind man.”

I would like to pay the main attention to the breastfeeding part and the Halloween part, because exactly a year later in Chicago — I think around the time I was seeing a guy over there from Tinder, who was a skateboarder, so that’s kind of cool too. So the Chicago dream is, “Mum pregnant, me also pregnant. Letter writing to get better in school. Buying Halloween costumes with tall people and a beautiful woman on a minimum wage budget. Didn’t go for the white outfit.” And then the last line is,”Pour whiskey in my ear to unblock me, please.” [Laughs.]

Lucy: [Laughs.] Do you type these as soon as you wake up?

Fenne: Yeah, so they’re literally just key bits. I like to think I’m quite a stable person who’s got q handle on how they deal with their feelings, but it seems that there’s a lot of breastfeeding, pregnancy, weird kind of mom-daughter problem stuff that maybe I need to work through. And Halloween seems to be something I hold close to my heart, strangely.

What’s your most recent weird one?

Lucy: I almost never have any sort of, like, motherhood type of dreams. I mean, I’m also adopted and have pretty much no desire to ever be pregnant, so I guess I my subconscious just doesn’t complain. Like, Yes, that is true.

I’ve been having a lot of dreams set in Russia, which is a complicated setting because, as I said, I’m adopted, and my parents told me I was Russian when I was growing up. Actually when I turned 18, I got my file and found out that I’m genetically Uzbek, like from Uzbekistan, so not Russia. I took two years of Russian in high school to get connected to that part of myself, and then it’s like, I’m not even Russian.

So I’ve been having all these dreams set in Russia, and I had one a few days ago where the entire staff of Matador was swimming up an icy river and Rennie [Jaffe], who is both of our managers, and everyone that works at Matador was swimming up an icy river — freezing, and like chunks of ice floating by — because we were on our way to a show. We really wanted to see this girl sing.

Only four of us survived: Me, [Matador founder] Chris Lombardi, and Rian Fossett, and Malcolm Donaldson, who all work at Matador. We get to the shore and the promoters are there and they’re like, “Hey, we have blankets for you, thanks for making the trip, we know it’s such a hassle getting here. We have vodka and we have tea and blankets and heaters in this trailer, and we’re so happy you can make it.” And they have this little trailer set up next to this sports stadium where the show is going to be. They bring in the girl who they’re scouting, I guess to sign, and she’s so nervous. I’m trying to talk to her an be like, OK, it’s gonna be OK, you know, I was happy when Matador reached out to me, I think it’ll be fine, you seem really sweet.” We listened to her record, and the first song was the most beautiful song I’d ever heard. You know in a dream where you wake up and can’t remember what it was, but you know in the dream the supreme beauty was apparent to you? We all cried and were like, “We’re just honored to be here with you, you’re going to be a star,” everyone was so emotional. And then a couple of songs in, we were still liking it, but towards the end of the record, everyone got really bored and tired. So in, like, 20 minutes, it was just this beautiful, elated feeling to everyone sort of unspokenly getting really tired of her voice, the most beautiful voice in the world. And she noticed, and I noticed, and it was clear that everyone kind of just wanted to go. like when a party has gone on too long. She just started crying, and I just wanted to say, “I don’t know how to explain it, the feeling just left.”

And that was the dream, where I just had to console the best musician in the entire world that everyone just labeled not engaging enough.

Fenne: At the beginning of this dream, I thought the main part of it was — because this is way more detailed than I remember anything, like even real life — when you said that only only a few of you made it, I was like, Is this icy river a metaphor for the long road to being able to do shows again? And that a lot of people that we work with will just die after the market being ruined? But that’s so, so sad!

Lucy: I felt grief when I woke up. I have this problem where I wake up from dreams and I feel so deeply for everyone that I met in the dream. I thought about her the rest of the day, where I really felt bad for her even though she was a figment of my imagination. Like I had such sympathy for her position, and I really couldn’t understand and wanted to understand why we didn’t keep loving her music. I don’t know, it felt like something dark and sad going on there.

Fenne: Oof. I want to meet her. I want to climb in your brain and meet her.

Lucy: I could draw her. I wake up from dreams and I could tell you all of the architecture, I could tell you the fabric on the furniture and what makeup people are wearing, and shoes people are wearing. A lot of info.

Fenne: For a split second when I wake up, it’s like that, but yeah. There’s an artist called [Zdzisław] Beksiński — he trained as an architect and then he became a photographer, and then eventually he became this incredible painter, and his paintings inspired, like, black metal artwork. It’s like a lot of huge, imposing buildings draped in flesh, spiderwebs, and they’re beautiful because of how intricate they are, and they kind of glow. But he said that often he’d have the idea that — it’s not a theme, but it’s actually the picture itself, and then he replicated from this picture in his brain. So maybe you should go into Russian hellscape painting. [Laughs.]

(x)

#this interview is full of gems #‘‘don’t touch my girl like that!’’ #i love her sm #the bit about her dream is fascinating i can’t imagine dreaming so vividly #lucy dacus #fenne lily #interviews #talkhouse #archival #2022 #november 2022

[my-own-walker]

Kyle request...: could you do one where Kyle opens up to female reader about that stuff with his mom pls, because like, omg that boy was so pure and sweetie, he deserved so much moreee 💔💔💔😭

Motorcycle On The Front Lawn

if you want a good cry while reading, try pairing this story with the song $20 by boygenius. lyrics kinda have nothing to do with this but very emo song/feeling.

note: this one is gonna need a MAJOR TW for SA. pls don't read if that will trigger you or make you uncomfy. love u all.

warnings: TW for talk about SA, angst, mention of su!c!de, very sensitive topics so proceed with caution.

+++

There was strange air around intimacy in our relationship that I didn't quite get. I didn't entirely mind. I loved Kyle. But I didn't understand where the strain came from.

We were intimate. We had sex often. But there was a disconnect. He wouldn't make eye contact with me during the act. He would be avoidant of conversations surrounding our sex life.

He showed love to me through physical touch, yes. It was an important part of our relationship. When we weren't in a bedroom with our clothes off, he had no problem being all over me. Behind closed doors, though, he froze up.

I didn't think much of it at first, chalking it up to beginning-of-relationship nerves about sex. Soon, though, it began to upset me. I thought it was all my fault. That he wasn't attracted to me. I began to doubt myself majorly.

It became time to have a conversation with Kyle about it. I wasn't angry with him. I was upset with myself for making this such a big deal in my head.

+

Kyle and I were making out in my bedroom. It was hot and heavy. Things were escalating until again, I sensed a strain. Kyle began to tense up, refusing to make any moves unless I initiated them.

I tore myself away from him and threw my legs over the edge of the bed, sitting up and facing away from him. Tears stung at the back of my eyes.

'Hey, Y/N, hey,' he sat up quickly and moved closer to me, sitting next to me on the edge of the bed. He stooped down to look at my face, peering through the curtain of blonde hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. 'What happened?'

I sniffled, turning my head up to the ceiling in an effort to stop the levy from breaking. To steady myself before I made a fool of myself by crying.

'Kyle, I really need to talk to you about something,' I muttered, finishing by drawing in a shaky breath and sighing.

'What, baby?' concern crept into his voice in a stomach-turning way. He was fearing the worst. He took my face in his hand to make me look at him.

'What is going on with us? With this?' I whined, exasperated.

'With what? With our relationship?' he replied in a quick hushed tone.

'Yes, but- I mean- no, it's just,' I stuttered. 'Are you not attracted to me?' My tone fell dark and tears slipped out of my eyes.

'What? Baby, you are so beautiful to me,' he assured me, wiping tears from both of my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. 'Why did you even ask that?'

'It has been so hard, Kyle. When we have sex. It's like...being with a ghost. A shell of you,' I explained. 'I love you. So much. Everything is fine until it's not. Like, you just, shut down. Am I doing something wrong?'

Kyle dropped his hands into his lap. A thousand-yard stare glazed over his eyes, looking past me, no longer at me. He swallowed thickly and breathed in shakily.

'I gotta tell you something,' he whispered, so quietly, almost no sound came out.

'You can tell me anything. Please. I just want to understand,' I pleaded. He turned away from me, body language completely closed off. I watched as he prepared himself to speak.

'So, uh, you know my family was hit really hard by Katrina. My whole neighborhood, ya know? It was really rough,' he started. 'And like, right after it, my dad left. But you knew that...' he began to trail off.

'Yeah Kyle, I remember,' I placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. He stiffened at the touch.

'Well after that, my mom and I had a really hard time, just, tryin' to keep the house and all. The repairs and just, everything. It was a lot on her,' he continued. 'She was uh, really lonely. I felt so bad for her, like, I could tell she was having a hard time.'

'I'm sure it was really hard on you, too, Kyle,' I assured him.

'No, yeah, it was. But my mom- she really needed help from me. As soon as I became a teenager it really started. She would- uh, come into my room at night and stuff.'

My heart dropped. I sat in stunned silence to allow him to continue.

'It started with just kissing. She'd kiss me all over. But she'd tell me it was because I was her beautiful boy. That she was so proud of who I was. Uhm, but then she'd start asking me to like, take off my clothes. Or um, wear less clothes to bed. She would-' his voice cracked. He paused to clear his throat.

'Kyle-' I started.

'She would help me shower. Said she was saving water, ya know if we showered together? We really had no money back then. She would always say that to me. Stuff like oh Kyle, you're gonna get us out of here. You're gonna save us from this. There was a lot of pressure on me to make her happy.'

I laid my forehead down on his shoulder. We sat in silence for minutes, letting the weight of his words settle into the space.

'She told me she'd kill herself if I stopped letting her touch me,' he blurted, breaking the silence. 'So things got more intense. Just to keep her...happy, I guess.' The room fell silent again, his words hanging from the rafters until he let out a stifled sob.

'Oh Kyle I am so sorry,' I breathed, 'I am so, so sorry.' My head was still on his shoulder, but at long last he relaxed into the contact. I grabbed his shoulder and nestled my head into his neck, crying softly.

He finally let go, beginning to weep with me.

'Can I hug you, Kyle? Is that okay?' I asked, finally understanding the full extent of his boundaries.

He didn't even respond. Instead, he turned to me and curled up in my lap, nestling his face into the crook of my neck. His cries turned to sobs. Heart-wrenching wails that I felt in my soul.

'It's not your fault, Y/N,' he bawled. 'It's not. I'm sorry.'

'Baby, you don't have to apologize,' I sighed, hugging him tighter.

'I should have told you sooner,' he sobbed.

'No, Kyle. You don't owe anyone that information,' I assured him. 'You never had to tell me, but you did. Thank you for trusting me with it.'

'Of course I trust you,' he sniffed, cries calming down. 'I'm glad I told you.' I smoothed my hands over his hair and kissed him on the head. 'I'm glad I got it off my chest,' he continued.

'You are so brave. I am so sorry you went through that,' I maintained. 'Please know that you can take your time with me. I don't want to pressure you at all.'

'Thank you, Y/N, I love you.'

+++

I really wasn't sure how to end this without it seeming rushed. I love u all, and thanks for this request. It's VV sensitive topic, so I hope I did ok. Kyle deserved better.

#kyle spencer x y/n #kyle spencer imagine #kyle spencer #kyle spencer x reader #evan peters #evan peters x reader #evan peters x female reader #evan peters oneshot

[c2-eh]

was tagged by beloved @leclercsbf <3 thank you for tagging me ily mwah. i am tagging @f1-stuff @7msc @backwardscapcarlos @artemispt @desomniis @penaltyboxboxbox @monagasque @carlhoesainz @5ainz @5iceroy @cofyspoons @moossings and whoever wants to do this <3

list 10 songs you want other people to hear

maybe they’re your favorite songs or you think they’re classics or they are little known artists that you want to give more attention to. whatever your reasons or no reason at all.

not strong enough by boygenius - always an angel never a god. the song is so mwah, makes me think about so many things it's insaaaane.

mr. forgettable by david kushner - it's all about the vibe and all about how you interpret the song and for me it is something so wow. i love it

best years by 5sos - everything by 5sos is gold, but this one just hits right in the feels. beautiful voices, beautiful lyrics, if i ever get married this will be my first dance song fr

all mine by plaza - listen. listen this is the vibe when you wanna get that mood. it just is so ughhhhh

vent'anni by måneskin - the lyrics to me is something so important and personal. overall incredible song

honeypie by jawny - the song by itself is perfect and then you really listen to the lyrics and it is even better.

brave by riley pearce - idek what to say tbh. just listen to it because well, if you feel uncertain and you're about to do big step into unknown? yes this is the one.

knee socks by arctic monkeys - all i needed was the first 10 seconds of the song to make me go feral. it's so shjdkjfihgfajipksdgibfsk. i have a carnal desire to go see arctic monkeys live fr

babylon by 5sos - THE BASS???? CALUM'S VOCALS???? eargasm

cry baby by the neighbourhood - i think we've all been there, done that, felt that. love the song so much

#i tried not to say songs that are too known #also if i may. every single song by 5sos and arctic monkeys is perfect. thank u #same goes for the neighbourhood #tag games

[tortoisebore]

i love ur little rambles so what do u think the losers coffee orders and music taste is (in hey sharpshooter or otherwise) 🤲

ooooo oooo ooo yes yes yes

((TORTOISE LORE on the days i have to work onsite at my job i almost exclusively set up shop at the coffee place across from the office & listen to my little music & drink my little beverages all day so this particular set of questions resonates with me so bad))

for consistency's sake coffee-wise let's say we're talking starbucks. i think most days sirius would go for something high in caffeine but with a little sweetness to it. a venti iced shaken espresso with oat milk and three pumps of classic sweetener, perhaps. maybe switch that classic out for chestnut praline at the holidays bc he's feeling festive. other days i think he'd want an absolute sugar bomb as a reward for getting through a rough week or bc he was really mature today and refrained from screeching at people in the street when they didn't walk fast enough & blocked the sidewalk when he was in a hurry. on those days he requires a big ole mocha cookie crumble frap or an iced cinnamon dolce latte with an extra shot for fun.

on his walk home he's listening to one of three playlists depending on the day. the first one is a fourteen hour pop girlie playlist that starts with style by taylor swift and ends with kiss me more by doja cat, with some ariana, gaga, spice girls, charli, no doubt, & even some abba thrown in the middle for spice. the second playlist is for mocha cookie crumble days and starts with your best american girl by mitski and features lots of phoebe, lots of taylor, lots of lana, some ethel cain for sure, some select fleetwood mac, maybe some stuff from the 1975's a brief inquiry album. it's all stuff he can dig into & be angsty with & have strong feelings to.

the third is a more generic thought-dump kind of playlist where he just throws in songs he likes. buttercup by hippo campus. the view from the afternoon by arctic monkeys. concussion by girlhouse. ilysb by lany. like....,.,moonage daydream. 6 inch. pink pony club. bring it on home. just a mix of vibes and genres & things he gets stuck in his head.

contrary to popular belief i do think remus is a coffee girlie and would pick a mug of good dark roast drip over tea any day. i think he's simple for the most part & would go after a good tall americano on days he needs the kickstart but a grande drip with light cream would be his everyday go-to. during the summers he switches to a cold brew or plain iced coffee with cold foam if he's feeling fancy. he likes to pretend he doesn't like the frilly expensive drinks but every time he & sirius get coffee together, sirius orders him a grande mocha with two extra pumps of mocha and whipped cream on top & he downs it in about eight seconds.

remus is a hozier stan confirmed. remus is a boygenius stan confirmed. he likes poetic lyrics more than anything so sirius puts him on mitski and taylor. i like the idea that his music taste was a little outdated most of his life bc his parents had a huge record collection that they inherited from his grandparents so he just....played music all the time as a lonely little kid looking for things to do. when he was nine the only album he listened to all christmas break was otis redding's the dock of the bay & that made him gravitate toward stuff like leon bridges & amy winehouse as he got older. he learned about spotify four years after everyone else did & still only has two playlists. his parents loved the 90s rock girlies and they listened to a lot of the cranberries and fiona apple CDs around the house, so all those albums are really nostalgic for him now. he puts sirius on jeff buckley & regrets it instantly bc literally all he does now is play remus' grace vinyl full-volume and remus is afraid they're going to get a noise complaint. you can hear it in the stairwell sirius the neighbors are going to get mad please

#u ask tortoise answers #tortoise writes a novel ab an ask for no reason #remus is a secret taylor stan confirmed #the first time he listened to evermore all the way through he cried #marjorie is the one that did it for him actually #me projecting my coffee order on sirius #me projecting my music taste on both of them #typical

[onadarklingplain]

tagged by the lovely @wunderlichkind! 10 songs i've been listening to & my favourite lyric

i love tag game SO MUCH. give me free reign, babyyy. it was very easy for me to do because my brain loves to listen to one song on repeat for like two days straight, so i just went back in my history and sorted through the most recent obsessions.  1.  blood and butter, caroline polachek  Look how I forget who I was Before I was the way I am with you Where did you come from, you? (no points for guessing why this one is on the list cough cough) 2. we’re in love, boygenius Some October, in the future, I'll run out of trash TV And I'll be feeling lonely So I'll walk to karaoke Sing the song you wrote about me, never once checking the words 3. psalms 40:2, the mountain goats We inhaled the frozen air Lord, send me a mechanic if I'm not beyond repair He has fixed his sign in the sky He has raised me from the pit and he will set me high 4. tropic morning news, the national Got to my feet Feeling that I'd let you down Wanted to say it slow and perfect But it all, somehow, got switched around 5. runner’s high, MUNA Didn't fake those tears But I haven't felt like crying Since I put the car in gear 6. your side, the beths I could be the space between you and the air you breathe Between what you say and mean 7. winter wheat, john k samson So make a visor with your hand Squint at where you're from A lonely line of buildings you can block out with your thumb Salute the way we tried 8. anywhere with you, maggie rogers  Would you tell me if I ever started holding you back? Would you talk me off the guard rail of my panic attack? Look me straight in my center and tell me from the heart Are you ready to start? 9. we do not belong together, sunday in the park with george Then there's nothing I can say is there? Yes. George, there is: You could tell me not to go 10. broadripple is burning, margot & the nuclear so and so's And darling, I'm drunk And everything that I have loved has turned to stone So pack your bags And come back home (as above.... literally chapter 12 of hg au?? i’m still crying??) tagging (if you want to!!) @powerful-owl, @officialmood, @boxboxlewis, @gokartkid, @librasuncharles 

#music!! #it makes my brain feel things #tag game

[blood-injections]

trying to work on TSKOM and keep kicking myself for deciding to do the background in past tense and also I can't stop thinking about

this as a Suitehearts song. idk if I can explain it because I haven't looped the song enough to figure it out for sure but there is SOMETHING there and it is making me BONKERS

FIRST OF ALL OUGH OW SECOND OF ALL NO YOURE SO RIGHT IT IS A SUITEHEARTS SONG IDK HOW YET EITHER BUT. I mean. Okay lets dissect this. Its like somber and lonely but like hopeful in a way too? It just screams like soulmates to me despite it all and thats essentially what the suitehearts are. Soulmates despite it all. And theres tensions and shit between them sometimes and wacky stuff and fights but theyre thick as thieves too and like theres periods of closeness. "sometimes you let me read your mind, then there are nights you say you don't remember" like nights where things are quiet and close and they just fucking talk and are honest and after the moments passed of its brought up again its like erm yeah idk what youre talking about man. But then the lyrics also "then there are nights you say you don't remember, when you stepped on the gas and you asked if I'm ready to die." And thats just such a danger days fucking line like AUGH facing death and the fact theyre probably gonna die young and thats gotta be terrfying but takes like. Idk. To look at your other halves and go are you ready to die. Are you ready to do this with me. And if they yes theyre pledging themselves as your crew that theyll be there at the end. Gah fuck im getting emotional. But that would be so like. For the suitehearts especially with the shit they have between them but despite it all going we're crew, we're family, I'm sticking with you. And then not remebering it after, dodging it, because the memory of a day you all almost died together would be fucking rough. Maybe not all the lyrics are suitehearts but the vibe is and a lot of them are. These are out of order but i was really focused on that are you ready to die part. "I used to believe no one could love you like I do and I'm startin' to think that it might be impossible not to" again. Soulmates. Also fall out boy ass lyric i wouldnt be surprised if the same line showed up in the last of the real ones or something. Idk about you but this bit screams benzecrab to me btw. Like benze to crab specifically. Fuckinggg loving eachother and knowing eachother and maybe getting jealous but just realizing like. Fuck youre so good its impossible for the whole world not to love you. Even if i want to be the one to love you the most. This also ties into the last line i feel like the "You took it from me, but I would've given it to you." Maybe less benzecrab or maybe hm maybe the other way around? Willing to give him the world but like benze or whomever or even like just metaphorically fucks up and is greedy and takes what they want, maybe out of fear? Not knowing there was someone willing to give them what they wanted all along out of love. Like for example of this was benzecrab to me itd be like. Crab follows benze oit of loyalty and love but maybe benze thinks crab thinks he just owes him or something or is just there for the others so instead of like. Crab getting to give his love and prove his loyalty benze takes it by like being kind of an asshole being greedy or bossy because he thinks crab isnt going to stick around very long so hes taking advantage of his loyalty while hes there. Uh. This is spiraling, i could have left this at the soulmates despite it all bit, that summed this up. I'm just Thinking now. this is making me bonkers too. Anyway yeah. Suitehearts song

#americas suitehearts

[hey-have-you-heard]

Hey, Have You Heard These 50 Tracks from 2023?

Another year comes to a close and the music lover pulls up their trusty spotify playlist to document the high points of their year in music. You know the drill by now but in case you're new here... Songs are in alphabetical order (there is no internal rating to the 51) but if I had to choose a single song for everyone to listen to, it would be "Why Am I Alive Now", please listen to that track if nothing else. A Spotify playlist of the included songs is linked below for your listening pleasure

Fontaines DC - ' Cello Song Kicking things off with the only cover song on the list, Grian Chatten and band spin Nick Drake's song into something entirely their own, paying homage to Nick Drake's songwriting whilst pulling in the intricacies of their own unique sound and appeal.

Boygenius - $20 Screw star-signs and wizard school houses, which member of Boygenius do you align yourself with? I'm a Julien Baker stan but I adore them all, especially when their voices and styles are weaving in out of each-other in rapturous noise like this.

XL Life - Baby Steps Hardcore and punk has had a great year, a really great year, and XL Life have been a standout part of that. Backed up by a guest verse by Bob Vylan's own Bobby Vylan, Baby Steps is bursting with soul and emotion, driven by breakneck drums and heart-on-sleeve positivity

100 Gecs - Billy Knows Jamie 10,000 Gecs (the much anticipated follow up to 2019's 1000 Gecs) truly gave us the as-promised 10 times as many gecs, if a Gec is a unit of measurement for what can only be referred to as wild-genre-fuckery. Billy Knows Jamie gives us full on Bizkitesque nu-metal, including record scratches, a bass line Fieldy would be proud of and a rapid descent into utter chaos.

Algiers, Billy Woods, Backxwash - Bite Back Bite back is a masterpiece of ever-building tension, Carpenterian synths weave the track together as one musical idea gives way to another. With every new phrase and trade-off between vocalist, the threads pull tauter and tauter. The switch up at 3:10 still gives me chills every time I hear it.

Glass Beach - the CIA My favourite theatre kid emo's are back and doing what they do best, which is whatever the hell they feel like. You know when all the 70s prog rock bands fell into the 80s and needed to get radio-play so they fell into this weird sort of choppy watered down down art-pop sound (e.g. Yes)? This feels like that, but there's no actual need to conform, so Glass Beach are still free to get as weird with it as they want, whenever they want.

Blood Command - Decades Deccades is a very bad representation of Blood Command as a band (at this point I'm unsure if a good representation of the band exists), but it's a very good song. Hardcore and "Death pop" is out, R&B is in. Reverb soaked synths and horns, skittery hi-hats, layered vocals and lyrics about lost love and the Heavens Gate cult.

Liturgy - Djennaration I'll be the first to admit that Liturgy are an acquired taste (the first time I saw them live it made me feel physically ill), but if you can put on some headphones, turn up the volume and lose yourself in Liturgy's "Transcendental Black Metal" there is no other feeling quite like it in music.

Kesha - The Drama The continual evolution of Kesha's sound has been a fascinating thing to watch ever since Tik Tok put her on the brat pop map back in 2009, each album cycle has seen her stripping back elements of character, delivering ever rawer and more honest depictions of self. The Drama pulls away from pop almost entirely, what starts as a Lorde-like slow ballad tumbles into a nightmare-collage of upbeat synths, a circus show of theatrical excess as Kesha's desparately laments on a loss of faith in humanity and self. The song ends on an absurd mix of housecats and Ramones, oh the drama of it all.

Fever Ray - Even It Out Even It Out may not be the technically best song on Radical Romantics, but the idea of Karin Dreijer teaming up with Trent Reznor to make a gleefully unhinged song about violently attacking a child is just too funny to me. The rest of the album is also incredible and well worth a listen.

Follow You - Saint Agnes Oh, hey, speaking of Trent Reznor, Saint Agnes channel Nine Inch Nails on the massive distortion drenched choruses of this stand out track from Bloodsuckers. Lead singer Kitty's vocals soar over wailing guitars and crunching bass, this is the sound of a band triumphing through adversity.

Johnny Booth - Full Tilt I remember seeing a comment when this first released that summed up how ifelt about it perfectly. "This has slap fucks". Yes, selppin2, I couldn't of put it better myself. Johnny Booth have been consistently hitting it out the park for the past few years and this is no exception, absolutely brutal stuff.

Creeper - Further Than Forever Creeper's Sanguivore is an album to be devoured in it's entirety, I couldn't choose a single song so this is merely a goth-punk-opera overture. A nine minute long homage to the theatrical tendencies of Jim Steinman. If you enjoy any part of this, Sanguivore is a must listen for you.

Crosses - Ghost Ride Chino Moreno swaps out the rumbling wall of guitars of Deftones for pulsing bass synths and sparse electronic drums with the second album from his side project with Far's Shaun Lopez. Ghost Ride is a sultry slow build that crashes into industrial-pop(?) choruses.

Idles - Grace Idles (to my surprise) were my most listened to band of last year, and if Grace is a sign of things to come on Tangk, they're in with a shot for 2024 as well. Grace finds Joe Talbot swapping out the political battering ram of a growl he's employed previously for a soulful tone, a message of peace and love, and its hauntingly beautiful to behold. No God, no king, love is the thing.

BENEE - Green Honda You may remember BENEE from tiktok's 2019 supahit Supalonely, she's still writing bops. Two middle fingers up, leave you in the rearview, bops.

Free Refills - Grounded What can I say, I'm a sucker for a good bassline, and this is a great bassline.

Pendulum, Bullet For My Valentine - Halo (Matt Tuck Rework) On his rework of Halo, Matt Tuck keeps all the energy of the original mix but ups the aggression. This is the sound of Pendulum at their heaviest and best.

Tokky Horror, Scottish Gabber Punk - HAMMER 2 THE FACE (Scottish Gabber Punk Remix) Speaking of energy and aggression... it doesn't get much more energy and aggression than this, hammer 2 the face is a fitting title for the brutality of this track.

MSPAINT - Hardwired MSPAINT are a hardcore punk band with a notable lack of guitar, the instrumentation instead filled out with colourful synths. The result is a unique and engaging sound unlike anything else in the genre.

Empire State Bastard - Harvest ESB are my kind of supergroup, formed of Biffy Clyro's Simon Neil, Oceansize's Mike Vennart and Slayer's Dave Lombardo (yes, you read that right). Simon Neil is delivering career best vocal performances, Mike Vennart is stirring up unholy hell on guitar and Dave Lombardo is doing what Dave Lombardo does best.

Alice Longyu Gao - Hëłłœ Kįttÿ I didn't think we could get more unhinged than last years MONK, with it's thrash metal guitar and vib ribbon solo, but here we are in the year of our lord 2023 and I'm listening to car clown horns. BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM.

Bob Vylan - He's a Man Do y'all remember the Lindsay Lohan Freaky Friday movie? There was a great song in it called Take Me Away... anyway, I forget why I mentioned that, but this song is really fun.Great cheeky lyrics and love that guitar riff.

Fall Out Boy - Hold Me Like A Grudge This may just be a nostalgia pull, but that intro transported me back to hearing Dance, Dance for the first time. Hold Me Like A Grudge does a masterful job of pulling together elements of FOBs classic sound and their more recent poop sensibilities that has had me enjoying their sound in a way I haven't since Infinity On High

Evie Enby - Homies Oops, how did this get in here? Please appreciate the one note guitar solo.

FIZZ - I Just Died My general lack of enthusiasm for The Beatles is fairly well documented by this point, but one of the best things they did for pop music was use the clarinet on When I'm Sixty Four. Well good news, I no longer have to listen to The Beatles to get my clarinet fix. Now that the Beatles reference for this year's list is done.. I just died is a song about an absolutely mortifying experience delivered with great mirth. It's a fantastic, sing-along-in-the-shower bop, and have I mentioned the clarinet solo?

CLT DRP - I Put My Baby To Sleep (It's pronounced Clit Drip) What can I say, another explosive, genre defying, track by one of the best bands in the world. Now go listen to the entirety of Nothing Clever, Just Feelings.

Orla Gartland - Kiss Ur Face Forever Joyous, peppy and "let's play a game of emotional monopoly, in the name of monogamy" may be the best couplet I've heard this year. It's just fun, so much fun.

Bring Me The Horizon - LosT When LosT first dropped, I referred to it as the geccification of BMTH, I meant that in the best possible way. I really enjoy how the hyper-pop elements lift this track up. "The next time that I open up to someone will be my autopsy" is one of the finest Oli Sykes-isms we've had in a long time.

Swans - No More Of This Okay, so the actual Swans track that should be on this list is The Beggar Lover (Three) but apparently putting an uncompromising, nigh impenetrable, 43 minute long epic in the middle of a playlist is terrible for retention, and I'm a coward. But if you have a spare 50 minutes, go give it a listen.

Pupil Slicer - No Temple Pupil Slicer continue to prove themselves to be one of the most exciting bands in Mathcore. Pushing against the boundaries of genre in a genre where pushing against boundaries is a core philosophy, No Temple is, according to the band, the heaviest song they've ever written. The bass guitar work is an exceptional standout for me here as it pushes against the rest of the song.

Carly Rae Jepsen - Psychedelic Switch With every CRJ album project comes a B-sides album, and with every B-sides album comes an absolute banger. Psychedelic Switch is undoubtedly this for the Loneliest Time/Loveliest Time project. You'd be forgiven for thinking Daft Punk themselves reunited to produce this french disco flavoured bop.

Soft Play - Punk's Dead Who the fuck are Soft Play? Sound like a bunch of lefty snowflakes. I've missed these boys, doing this kind of thing. The Robbie Williams feature is inspired.

Chappell Roan - Red Wine Supernova Red Wine Supernova is sexy, self-assured, feel-good, sapphic fun. It's a testament to how good a song is that lyrics like "I heard you like magic, I've got a wand and a rabbit" doesn't detract from it, but actually elevates it's effortless charm.

JAAW - Rot JAAW are an industrial metal "supergroup" formed of members of Therapy, Three Trapped Tigers, Sex Swing and Biglad. That is likely mostly gibberish to the average music listener, but to a niche few, it's a very exciting prospect. What it sounds like is swelling, tumultuous walls of noise, tortured screams, screeching guitars and pulsing distorted bass. Catharsis through noise.

Better Lovers - Sacrificial Participant More supergroup! Greg Puciato teams up with ex-members of Every Time I Die and Will Putney (of Fit For an Autopsy). I was devastated by the split of ETID, (off the back of the phenomenal Radical adn jsut before I was due to see them live), but Better Lovers is one hell of a silver lining. Puciato's energetic vocals bounce wildly off of the erratic musicianship that was the cornerstone of ETID's sound. It's a perfect match on record and is even better live.

Architects - Seeing Red Bless Architects. They're a band that are truly a victim of their own success, as they've tried to pull their sound and ethos in new directions it's been met with a huge amount of negativity from their own fanbase. Seeing Red is a reaction to this. "You want heavy? Here's heavy. Are you happy now?". Blegh.

Teen Mortgage - Sick Day Sick Day is a 2 minute punk blitz about how you are worth so much more than your labour and how having a cute cat you want to look at is a perfectly valid reason to stay at home. Capitalism 0 - Cats 1.

Purity Ring, Black Dresses - Shines Purity Ring and Black Dresses are both Canadian electronic duos and that's about where the similarities stop, but that just makes this collaboration all the more interesting. There's so much going on here, the chaotic harsh frenetic noise of Black Dresses, Ada Rook's screams, the twinkling synths of Purity Ring and sing-song melodies of Megan James. Somehow it pulls together to create something of true beauty in its own weird way.

Dream Nails - Sometimes I Do Get Lonely, Yeah Dream Nails take on the rising issue of incel culture and red-pill ideology, with grace and empathy. Pointing fingers not at individuals but at the systems and powers that enable and create these pipelines to hatred and bigotry. It's a bold and challenging idea, executed superbly.

Baby Dave - Sounds Good When a fan sends you an unhinged voice message out of the blue offering you a bite suit and dogs to shoot a music video, obviously the thing to do is make a song out of it, then take them up on their offer and use it as the video for that song. There's a great OPM era The Streets vibe to this track that plays off nicely of the grounded reality of its subject.

Sleep Token - The Summoning Sleep Token do the impossible, they make prog-metal (the unsexiest of all genres) , undeniably sexy. Nowhere is this clearer than on The Summoning, a 6-and-a-half minute epic of a track with multiple time signature changes and tonal flips, that somehow still oozes with a swaggering sexuality throughout it's runtime. The out-of-nowhere funk switch up on the end of this track is perfection.

Lambrini Girls - Terf Wars Love those Lambrini Girls, they say what I'm thinking, and they say it loud.

Ezra Furman - Tether This one had me in floods of tears from the first listen. A classic string-laden piano ballad about inescapable pasts and the desire to cut yourself free from who and where you've been.

The St. Pierre Snake Invasion - That There's Fighting Talk This track does two things it builds and it STOMPS, like real "put on your heaviest boots and then strap lead weights to them because they need to be heavier" stomps. An industrial-mathcore floor-filler, the song crescendoes then continues to crescendo into ever greater insanity. Get Stomping.

Calva Louise - Third Class Citizen Calva Louise's sound has evolved so much since I first fell in love with the band listening to their 2017 debut single Getting Closer. Third Class Citizen has elements of Muse in it's bass-lines, stadium-sized guitar riffs and fizzing production. The vocals and lyrical content make it something altogether its own though, the palpable fury in vocalist Jess' voice as she demands "Respect, motherfucker" is real and visceral.

HEALTH - Unloved Off the back of their genre spanning, multi-release collaboration project, DISCO4, RAT WARS sees HEALTH back in a focused mode and delivering their heaviest album to date. Unloved is a moment of relative respite on the album though, a Depeche Mode tinged track, soaked in 80's reverb and ready for the goth club. HEALTH pull you into their world of misery and beauty with catchy hooks and pulsing bass.

Anohni and the Johnsons - Why Am I Alive Now This year saw the release of "My Back Was A Bridge For You To Cross", Anohni's first studio album with her band since 2010's Swanlights. The abrasive electronics of her solo albums are traded in for warm soulful tones and a raw almost live-feeling instrumentation. It's a beautiful, deeply emotive, and incredibly present sounding album. Feeling as if you are being drawn into the recording process itself, Why Am I Alive Now? is an existential lament on finding purpose in a purposeless world, in navigating through suffering to find hope and love. On learning why to be, when it feels like the world is set on stopping you from being.

HMLTD - Wyrmlands THE WORM IS HERE! Wyrmlands is an example of one track on an album that should be listened to in its entirety. The Worm is a concept album at its most conceptual, eschewing genre and at times structure entirely in favour of narrative and ~vibes~. It's a dizzying disorientating listen, that will leave you' with more questions than answers, but thankful for making an attempt 're mind awash with unanswered questions and fresh ideas.

Billy Woods, Kenny Segal, Danny Brown - Year Zero Year Zero refers to an apocalyptic cultural reset. Society has reached a breaking point and we must start from scratch, everything before was for nothing. Billy Woods and Danny Brown play two different sides of the same coin. Woods, stony faced and deadly serious "My taxes pay police brutality settlements" is the herald of the end "Burn it down with us inside". Danny Brown, the manic joker, revelling in the freedom of a new world, rhyming Good Will Hunting with Cool Runnings and dropping bars about ice cream machines. It's a compelling way to deliver a narrative.

#music #2023 #Spotify

[generalhugs17]

Sooo...I was looking for boygenius fanfics and found none?! Well I wrote a little something, but don't expect too much. It was one of those 3am ideas. Also I gave my character a name because it was weird to write that Y/N thing. Hope that's okay. Anyways, here you go.

PS: English is not my first language, but I'm trying. And the title... I'm not well with those either.

Notes in the Night

Lucy Dacus x Original Female Character

In a dimly lit karaoke bar, the stage was bathed in colorful lights as voices of varying talent filled the air. Louise Parker sat at a table with her friends, her heart pounding with both excitement and nervousness. She had always loved music, but the thought of singing in front of a crowd made her palms sweat.

As the night went on, Louise’s friends urged her to give it a shot. „Come on, Louise! You’ve got an amazing voice!" one of them, a girl they all called Leo, exclaimed, playfully nudging her. Leo then proceeded and grabbed her wrist gently to pull her to the stage. The others laughed at her, and Louise pouted.

„But I don’t even know what to sing! “ Louise nearly shouted, and her friends laughed even more.

"You’ll find something, no matter what, you’ll make it sound amazing." Leo assured her.

„I still don’t know what! “

„Just sing one of that indie songs you always listen to. “ Leo suggested with a smirk.

„I hate you all! “ she shouted in the direction of her friends.

„They probably don’t even have these songs… “ she muttered to herself.

„What do you want to sing? “ the man at the karaoke station asked.

„You have ‚Song in E ‘by Julien Baker? “ she wanted to know.

„Nah, sorry. “ Louise visibly deflated at these words. Leo noticed it and rushed back to her side quickly.

„You guys have a piano here? “ she asked the man. Louise immediately knew what Leo was up to and groaned loudly.

„Yeah, sure. Wanna use it? You’re free to go. “

„Go Louise! “ Leo tried to encourage her.

„But Leo! I’m not that good! “

„Yes, you are! Now go! “ The girl lightly pushed her in the direction of the stage, where they were already setting up the piano. Reluctantly, her heart racing, Louise took the stage. The spotlight was on her, and her hands trembled slightly as she franticly tried to remember how to play the song. Pretty embarrassing, considering it was one of her favorite ones. She closed her eyes and began to sing, her voice pouring out with a mix of vulnerability and passion. The chords and tones just seemed to come by themselves.

Unbeknownst to Louise, a certain someone in the crowd was captivated by her performance. Lucy Dacus had been quietly enjoying the evening with her friends, but the moment Louise’s voice filled the room, Lucy’s attention was drawn to the stage. She was intrigued by the raw emotion in Louise’s voice and the way she seemed to connect with the lyrics. ‚Song in E ‘being written by her friend Julien only made her love it more. She glanced over at Julien, who was here with her and Phoebe tonight. Julien didn’t look at her, rather at the stage, and seemed to be captivated by Louise as well. Phoebe on the other hand caught Lucy ‘s glance and smiled back at her.

After Louise finished her song, she stepped off the stage, a mix of relief and exhilaration washing over her. As she returned to her friends, she noticed a figure approaching her. It was Lucy, a warm smile on her face.

„Hi there, “ Lucy said, her voice carrying a hint of genuine interest. „Couldn’t help but overhear your conversation earlier. “ she admitted.

Louise blushed crimson at that. „Uhm, yeah… “She was slightly at a loss of words, it seemed.

Lucy was quick to comfort her: „You were incredible up there. “Louise blushed even more, her heart racing even faster. „Oh, thank you! That means a lot coming from you, “she stammered.

Lucy’s blue eyes twinkled mischievously. „Well, since we both have a thing for karaoke, how about we sing something together? “

Louise’s heart did a little somersault at the thought of singing with Lucy Dacus. She nodded, her excitement building. The two of them picked a duet they both knew well and took the stage together. Their two voices mingling together sounded new and exciting, the bar loved it.

As they sang, face to face a few feet away from each other, Louise felt herself drawn closer and closer to Lucy as the song went on. When it ended, the crowd erupted into applause, and Lucy leaned in closer to Louise, who was standing directly in front of her. „You’re amazing, you know that? “She whispered.

Louise felt a rush of emotions, her cheeks flushed again. „You’re pretty amazing too, “ she replied, her voice barely above a whisper.

Lucy’s lips curled into a soft smile, and before Louise knew it, their lips met in a gentle kiss. It was a kiss that felt like the beginning of something special, something she couldn’t wait to explore.

After the kiss, they pulled back slightly, their eyes locked once more. „Would you like to…come meet my friends?" Lucy asked, her expression hopeful.

Louise nodded, her heart soaring. „I’d love that. “At that, Lucy grabbed her hand and pulled her to the table her friends were sat at. Louise recognized the two of them immediately.

„Oh. My. God. “ she said to Lucy, suddenly rooted on the spot. Lucy stopped next to her and laughed at her expression, Phoebe and Julien followed suit.

„You’re, you…boygenius! One of my favorite bands! I…" Louise stammered.

Lucy guided her to the table and pulled Louise down to sit next to her. „Meet Julien and Phoebe. “

„H-Hi, nice to meet you. “ Louise was stuttering again, and she was having none of it. Lucy gently caressed her hand, and she calmed down a bit.

„Likewise." Julien and Phoebe replied, grinning slightly.

„You enamored Lucy in a blink, huh? “ Phoebe assessed.

„Well, that song came deep from the heart. Not that surprising, I guess. “ Julien added. „I really liked your interpretation by the way. “

Louise wanted to scream aloud at that compliment, but she forced herself to stay calm. „Thank you so much! I’ve always loved that song. How’d I sound? Voice-like, I mean. Uhm, you know, was it, very different from the original? “

„It sounded a bit like Lucy. “ Julien said quietly. Louise’s head whipped around to Lucy.

„Is that true? “

„Yeah, it’s kind of true. And I loved it. “ Lucy gave her another gentle kiss, attempting to pull back quickly, but Louise did not see that happening. She wrapped her arms around Lucy and pulled her closer, not wanting the moment to end. Lucy smiled into the kiss, but still managed to pull back after a while. Louise stared at her and was at a loss of words. Phoebe laughed at Louise and then said:

„Well, that escalated quickly. “

„I just couldn’t help it “ Lucy admitted sheepishly.

„Me neither. “ Louise agreed and kissed her again.

„Okay lovebirds, I’m all for love, really, and y’all are cute, but I think it’s enough for now. “ Phoebe said hastily.

„Well, we got to stop then, right Lucy? “

„Yeah, seems like it... “Then she suddenly remembered that she also wasn’t alone here tonight. „You want to meet my friends? “She asked Lucy.

„I’d love that. “

#lucy dacus #boygenius #phoebe bridgers #julien baker #imagine

[rainydawgradioblog]

lyrics to life, a deep dive into the artist and the fan

helloooo!! my name is mya and this is my first RDR blog post!! (i’m super excited if you can’t already tell)

the coolest person i know has been writing for RDR for a while now and when she showed me her article all about the album songs by adrianne lenker, i knew that i wanted to be a part of this community too. sooo this first blog is gonna be about the songs that make up me, so you all can get to know her (spoiler, adrianne lenker makes a heartbreaking appearance on it)!!

1. "true blue" by boygenius

wow. no better way to begin than a song all about female friendship and connection. i grew up with a single mom, my older sister, and two older brothers. my mother and sister serve as power figures in my life and i can’t help but think of them during the line, 

your love is tough / your love is tried and true blue. 

the past few months living without them has given our love for each other a stronger foundation, and has become even more apparent in the 6 missed calls i get per day. it is an equally irritating yet comforting thought. but this song also pays homage to the lovely friends i’ve made in all seasons of my life. my emilee, my hope, my ify, my carly, and so many more incredible woman that built who i am today become alive in the line, 

i remember who i am / when i’m with you. 

2. "not a lot, just forever" by adrianne lenker

looking for a painfully heartbreaking song? hey right here!! bonus, this one physcially hurts to listen to!! my roommate once told me that my biggest strength but also weakness is how hard i love. this was after i went on an in depth rant on how the rest of my life would look if my situationship and i admitted our feelings for each other (spoiler, the feelings in question are definitely not reciprocated), 

through your eyes i see / a smile you bring to me / to your joy i tether / not a lot, just forever.

despite constant heartbreak, i continue to fall hopelessly in love because one day i’ll get to experience a life resembling this line, 

i could be a good mother / and i wanna be your wife. 

i just really love LOVE. the idea of falling in love with someone and just being like, “i dont need that much of you, just all of it!!” like yes adrianne, we want every inch of the person we love so we can love them entirely. 

3. "gramercy park" by alicia keys

this song is for the people who mold themselves to the ray of someone’s energy so they can feel more loved. unhealthy, i know!! who in their right mind would do that (...), 

i’ve been trying to fulfill you with your every need / now you falling for a person that’s not even me. 

her performance on tiny desk concert was incredibly moving. alicia keys has been telling it like it is since her first hit fallin’ (also my go-to karaoke song) which she performs for tiny desk beautifully. in this song especially, she describes the inner pleas of needing someone to stay so bad that you lose who you are trying to fit yourself into their narrative, 

cause i forgot about the person i used to be.

i found her eventually, but at what cost!!

4. "lifetime" by faye webster

i live through a dreamscape fog called optimism, faye webster does too though so my feelings are valid. the word lifetime is mostly just repeated (honorable mention to the lyric, “can’t imagine me / before you / in a lifetime”), so the main focal point of this song is it’s mellow and rhythmic tone that showcase a seductively lucid-esque tone. lifetime also takes the crown for being so versatile, with making the cut for both my playlists for sex and for crying before bed! 

5. "keep the rain" by searows

what if i just love this song!! what if there is no significance to it!! 

nothings ever really quiet / when you need distraction to survive.

for my mental stability, lets end it here!!

it’s been fun,

mya

[thesinglesjukebox]

BOYGENIUS - "NOT STRONG ENOUGH"

Smokin' in the boys' room...

[6.35]

Tara Hillegeist: Like much of boygenius' output, group name included, this is sublime hangout music with pretenses towards something sublimated -- pretenses that just about manage to get in the way of the autumn-sunset-at-lakeside vibes the group's folksy gestures are set on evoking, instead, before falling apart in the face of that sideways glance of a crescendo this song calls a bridge. But it's hard for me to argue with the evidence at hand that boygenius' reason for being is a sound one. Imagine if all the anhedonia we shared with each other could sound this sweet; maybe that less-lonely world would have need of fewer critics. [6]

Hannah Jocelyn: I've been working on a Boygenius essay all year, that I may or may not publish; how I relate to, differ from, and yes, envy their collective gender presentation as a trans woman. I've written 4,000 words, a lot of which are probably filled with tangents and redundancies, but very little is about the music. That's because, for the most part, The Record is an unapologetic major-label victory lap, where the three musketeers indulge in mushy love songs for one another and celebrate their bond. It's impossible to tell who wrote what, as the trio peacefully melt into one another until they're a massive sapphic hydra. "Not Strong Enough" soars above all this, Sheryl Crow allusion and all, because it's just a good pop song. It doesn't have the wit or emotional resonance of their best individual material, but it does have a hook worthy of Crow and some great ear candy (the pumping sweep effect at 2:07, Lucy Dacus' echoing ad-lib of "go home alone"). Also, Julien Baker name-drops "Boys Don't Cry" over the chords of "Just Like Heaven." Nice! [7]

Michael Hong: On their lead tringle, you can trace the songwriting down to each member: Julien Baker's nihilistic self-disgust is present under the messy "$20," Phoebe Bridgers is blunt despite all apologies on "Emily, I'm Sorry," and Lucy Dacus' "True Blue" is laced with rich detail -- except when it isn't. "True Blue" cops out on the bridge. "You've never done me wrong, except for that one time / that we don't talk about," an awkward aside for anyone who hasn't been disillusioned by the group's PR campaign. "Not Strong Enough" attempts to split the songwriting and in the process lands with the same issues. Its in-jokes and references are played without so much of a wink, too serious to sound clever. While the three-part harmony at the tail of the bridge is a nice reminder of the distinctions of each vocalist, their verses are economical to the point that individual characteristics, for better or for worse, are difficult to trace in the song. [4]

Alfred Soto: Bored by the well-intentioned poignancy of their solo music, I was surprised by the speed at which I fell in love with boygenius' group work. They love performing their intimacy -- can you imagine how queerness might've advanced had, say, CSN&Y bussed each other on stage? "Not Strong Enough" marries a strong strummed melody to lyrics that take advantage of Julien Baker, Lucy Dacus, and Phoebe Bridges' harmonic strengths, a pleasure in itself. The plainspoken confessions match the women's timbres. [8]

Nortey Dowuona: Remember when Chance the Rapper decided to make a great pop rap album as the rapping member of the SoX Experiment and people wanted the next Chance solo album instead and then he did that and y'all hated him more and more? Pray this don't happen to Phoebe Bridgers. [7]

Crystal Leww: Women can be fuckboys, too -- set to guitar! [2]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: The closer that these three get to being an actual band, the more they leave me cold. I loved their EP from half a decade ago in part because it kept the essential character of each songwriter intact -- these were demos that they had brought to their friends to finish up, not hivemind exercises. Despite working with musicians I like (can we just hear the Melina Duterte/Sarah Tudzin/Carla Azar trio instead?) and doing everything they're supposed to do as an artistic unit (If I have to hear about the three of them going to therapy together again I'll have to go to therapy myself), the returns still diminish. "Not Strong Enough" is neither good enough to save rock music nor bad enough to capsize it. Instead, it's a charmingly indistinct piece of big gesture indie, the kind of song that I can intellectually understand the appeal of while feeling nothing for. It's end credits music, a slow fade that, for all of my wishing, won't ever be fireworks. [4]

Ian Mathers: It is hard to avoid the "people are so weird about this band" field boygenius generates now to just write about the song. But I am 30 or 40 years old and I do not need that (to those shouting "skill issue" or "you deliberately haven't been paying attention to that stuff"... I see you, and you're valid). I listen to boygenius as a band, not some weird referendum on who's solo stuff I like best. And so with "Not Strong Enough" I just hear a lovely and frequently moving song where all three singers get to take a good chorus around the block, and all of them nail it in different ways. The only extra commentary I want is the line from Bridgers I saw quoted on Genius: "Self-hatred is a god complex sometimes." It sure fucking is! [9]

Katherine St Asaph: I just think of the thousands of singer-songwriters who get a fraction of their press, while making music that isn't bland. [4]

Aaron Bergstrom: The boygenius project could have been a success even if it never exceeded the sum of its parts. It could have been a long-distance book club and mutual admiration society, three wildly talented songwriters who occasionally got together to sing backing vocals on each other's songs. Maybe it stops there. Even the most like-minded artists can't always find the same creative wavelength. It happens. When the first three singles from the record were very clearly The Julien Song, The Phoebe Song, and The Lucy Song, it wasn't necessarily a disappointment (all three are excellent in their own right). It just felt like the group had a ceiling. "Not Strong Enough," though, points to something bigger. It's the first song that sounds like boygenius as a band. It's a song that none of them could have produced individually. The titular hook is Phoebe's, the "always an angel, never a god" climax is Lucy's, and Julien's guitar holds it together (plus she gets to drag race through the canyon singing "Boys Don't Cry"). There's a collective joy, a thrill of possibility, something above and beyond their individual brilliance. Listen to them talk about it. It's cool that they played Madison Square Garden, and Saturday Night Live, and it's great that they're going to be near the top of every year-end list that anybody cares about, but none of that explains why this was The Year of Boygenius as definitively as "the way Phoebe looks at Lucy when she talks about songwriting." [10]

Leela Grace: In fall 2017 I called my friend from where I was camping in Montana and said, "I heard a song that reminded me of us!" and I sang her the verse from "Funeral" that ends with "we talk until we think we might just kill ourselves/then we laugh until it disappears." This year we got married. The members of Boygenius have sad-girl brands musically but together, their extratextual joy makes its way into the harmonies. Finding people who understand you is such a rare and special thing, in whatever form it takes, for however long it lasts, and sadness shared is easier to bear. Maybe you can't control when people leave you or the marks they'll leave on you: you are always an angel, never a god. But when you sing together you come close. [9]

Josh Love: The Record is a real "greater than the sum of its parts" type of album. Over the course of its whole running time, the camaraderie and charm of these three women swapping songs and verses, harmonizing and singing background on each other's cuts, communicates something far more resonant than a single isolated song. There's not even a Lucy Dacus verse! The greater magic here is how these three roughly similar artists can each evince such distinct personae, to the extent that it's incredibly easy to attest to an allegiance for any one of them above the other two. I went into boygenius sure I was a Phoebe, but now I'm convinced I'm a Julien. [7]

Tim de Reuse: Gorgeous, lush -- antiseptically corporate. A paint-by-numbers masterpiece in half-formed suburban anxieties. A sleek vehicle assembled by collage: the indie rock appeal to road trips, the indie rock domestic imagery, the indie rock rousing chantalong. I, too, have spent many nights staring at a ceiling fan and catastrophizing. It didn't sound like a delicate synth arpeggio. I don't think something this grandiose would comfort me, either. [4]

Oliver Maier: I don't really agree with the critique that boygenius is total wallpaper mood music; they're not here, anyway. The production is satisfying and crisp, the drums clatter compellingly, as if unable or unwilling to find a firm footing on the beat, and there's no denying the swoop of the chorus melody. But, since by ideology there's no jostling for space on a boygenius song, accomodating everyone makes "Not Strong Enough" feel like a whistle-stop insecurity sightseeing tour, where nobody has time to explore their stop. Julien Baker revs up a car crash fantasy that vanishes into the hook. Phoebe Bridgers' lyrical style -- rushes of home video vignettes designed to push out the waterworks -- doesn't always land for me, but she usually has more lines than this to give it a fair shake. As for the Lucy-led bridge...well, I'm sure it sounded cool in their heads. [6]

Taylor Alatorre: Designed more for Red Rocks than for headphones, the "angel/god" chant-along is the record's most obvious effort to transcend the comforting strictures of indie rock nichedom and instead seat the trio in their rightful place as arena rock eminences. It doesn't exactly do that, mainly because it telegraphs its intent too cleanly and presents too big of a contrast with the rest of the track's artful self-effacing. The good news for Boygenius is that it didn't need to do that, because everything that came before that point in the song was already grand and sweeping and buoyantly pensive enough to make any U2 comparisons seem beside the point. (Sorry, I'm not strong enough to avoid making a U2 comparison.) [7]

Brad Shoup: Along with Drop Nineteens' "Gal," one of two alt-rock tracks I'm aware of from this year that references a Cure song. I love how magisterial this sounds--elevated adult alternative -- how everyone gets to step into the light. "Always an angel/Never a god" seemed like a weird complaint to me at first -- I'd much rather be an angel, people don't get mad at you -- but I was missing the theme. [8]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: That acoustic guitar is strummed with enough vim that you can feel every clang. It provides an initial pulse, then too the bassline and snare. Everything just keeps marching along, traces of beauty found amid the doldrums: listen to those electric guitar flutters, arriving like sunlight upon your face; hear the way each vocalist's timbre provides new shades of beige. It has an everyday beauty that hides everyday pain. And then the bridge arrives: bullshit tedium in the name of profundity. Always content with the fine-enough, boygenius draw emotion from a vacantness that I wish were all-consuming. Those flickering synths announce a precious listlessness that reminds you that there's more -- I just wish it weren't so A24 meets Hallmark. [3]

Jonathan Bradley: "I don't know why I am the way I am," the Boys sing in turn, their thoughts so dislocated from their surroundings that walking through the kitchen might as well be speeding along a highway. An insistent drum rhythm hustles the decidedly gentle guitar arrangement, capturing with unsettling precision the feel of being completely lost while the world is rushing headlong without you. [8]

Jeffrey Brister: Writing about exactly WHY I like a song can be so difficult, because I love this one. It has a lush, full, utterly beautiful arrangement--an array of guitar sounds layered over one another, with a the right amount of synth flourishes that let the ear wander and notice things on repeated listens. Tightly played drums that aren't too reverb-drenched, dry enough to sit in the middle of the mix without overwhelming or getting lost, an anchor holding the song in place. Three incredible vocal performances, each pulling out different aspects of the melody, and singing in brilliant harmony. A structure that builds and breaks, that drives and explodes with melancholy. It's a song that I would simply say is "gorgeous", and leave it at that, but I feel like I wanted a bit of a word count. [9]

Will Adams: Eh, it's pretty, I guess. [5]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

#boygenius #julien baker #lucy dacus #phoebe bridgers #music #folk music #music writing #music reviews #music criticism #the singles jukebox #Youtube

[myfavebandfizz]

Nylon Magazine 2023

THE WEIRD AND WHIMSICAL WORLD OF INDIE POP SUPERGROUP FIZZ

Songwriters dodie, Orla Gartland, Greta Isaac, and Martin Luke Brown are making songs of silliness and excess.

by EMILY MASKELL

NOVEMBER 1, 2023

Photo by: Nicole Ngai

FIZZ makes music that sounds like the sonic equivalent of dropping Mentos in a Coke. On their song “The Grand Finale,” an explosive reaction of pop sensibilities and playful lyricism transforms into a melodic menagerie that plays like “Bohemian Rhapsody” from another dimension.

FIZZ is the vivacious pop outfit of pop singer dodie, Irish songwriter Orla Gartland, experimental musician Greta Isaac, and sonic aficionado Martin Luke Brown — four best friends from the U.K. who individually boast successful solo careers and have now become one of indie pop’s newest supergroups: think boygenius but with a heaping dose of whimsy. Their paths crossed professionally at first, singing backing vocals and playing in bands for each other’s solo work, but the exact moment FIZZ came into fruition is a murky memory. “There’s a text dodie sent to Orla, around 2021, like, ‘Do you want to start a band,’” Martin tells NYLON, but this is only a trace of the band’s formation. FIZZ was born from the quartet’s natural evolution from colleagues to friends to bandmates.

Uniting their fan bases with an otherworldly exploration of escapism, FIZZ celebrates the sacredness and silliness of their friendship on their debut album, The Secret To Life. Its 12 songs spin twenty-something existentialism into maximalist psychedelic theatrics. “Blink twice, you’ll miss the highlights/ God, it’s a hell of a ride,” they harmonize over crashing drums on “Hell Of A Ride,” balancing lyrical angst with a wide-ranging sonic landscape. The band is built on an aesthetic of excess: maximalist in color and energy in the world of FizzVille, where FIZZ’s album resides.

Between giggles and mimicked guitar riffs, the energetic four-piece chatted with NYLON over a recent Zoom call about the making of their debut record, touching on how they found collective creative freedom, channeled feminine frustration, and built an eccentric world for themselves with The Secret To Life.

This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.

NYLON: You all were friends long before bandmates, but do you remember the moment you became FIZZ?

Martin: We don’t really know. We’d all been down to Middle Farm Studios to do live sessions for Orla in 2021, and Pete, the guy who runs Middle Farm and produced our album, said: “Seeing you guys perform together is really cool.” I booked [the studio for] a week but we didn’t know what it was going to be. I wanted it to be a holiday from our music careers. We wanted this to be egoless where we’re not thinking about how [the music] is perceived or aiming for radio. All of those things start coming into your mind the longer you do it because you want to have a feasible career, but we wanted just pure fun. It was an exercise in letting go and saying yes to everything.

What does being in a band together mean to you?

Orla: For me, it’s letting go. It’s easy to get bogged down in details when it’s your name and face, but trust falling back onto each other with every aspect of this project allowed me to not sweat the small stuff.

Martin: The moment you start promoting stuff you feel like it might be contrived, or you’re exaggerating for the sake of people’s consumption. But the music’s so untainted, it’s a time capsule. The songs are made out of joy, love, silliness and friendship. I’d never really get that in my own project.

Greta: What’s been special is capturing the in-between of what happens in music. It’s the things you don’t hear on a record: the energy of the room before you hit record and the mistakes you make but correct. There’s a tactile energy between people when you play in a band.

dodie: I never really had a successful writing session before FIZZ. I’d try but feel so stuck on what I wanted to say. Writing with these guys was the complete opposite. All of my ego and technicality came up but then I’d be like, “Fuck it! Who cares!”

“IT’S A MIRROR TO BEING IN YOUR TWENTIES, FROM BEING SUPER VULNERABLE TO BEING STUPID.”

You said FIZZ was something else before. Did the band originally have a different name?

Greta: Chairs!

Martin: We were pretty close to being called Drew Bandymore.

dodie: It’s so stupid. We should’ve done it and gone on her talk show.

What was the writing process like? Were you all bringing in bits from your solo work?

dodie: It was a mixture. Usually, Orla would write a verse and chorus. Or, one time, Gret and Martin were in the bath, I came home, and they were like, “Record this!” I put my phone through the door and did not look! That turned into a song called “Strawberry Jam.”

“Strawberry Jam” is one of my favorites, but “As Good As It Gets” stands out as this immense track cathartically tackling misogyny. How did the song come together?

Greta: Originally, it was a lot more pop punk, “American Idiot” vibe. But we started to realize, thematically, [the track] was leaning toward the feminine experience. Matt, our drummer, and Martin on the piano were guiding it. They were the solid pillars that meant Orla, dodie, and I could express ourselves lyrically and melodically.

We wanted [“As Good As It Gets”] to be poetic: it starts off as something typically feminine, soft and gentle, like the way we’ve learnt to move in the world. The whole song is just about realizing your worth. It’s not coming to this big conclusion, it’s just a, hang on, wait, when did I choose any of this?

The record moves between that vulnerability and playfulness, like on “Rocket League.” How did you all find that balance?

Martin: Honestly, we’d think about what song goes where and what we need at a certain point in the album. Generally speaking we just followed our energy. The quiet stuff like “You, Me, Lonely” and “Lights Out” are the tracks people would expect from us given our [solo] projects, but we didn’t want to do just what people expected.

Greta: It’s a mirror to being in your twenties, from being super vulnerable to being stupid. It feels like a snapshot of this time in our lives. It’s giving range!

It is! The album intro, “A New Phase Awaits You :-),” gives listeners a chance to escape from reality. Was this also an invitation for yourselves?

Orla: I wrote the opening script for that after having a little… [mimics smoking a blunt]. In “The Secret to Life,” we don’t say what [the secret to life] is, so it feels like we’re selling hot air and luring people in with this Scientology energy. But was it an invitation for us to also step into that? Absolutely. Recording that was one of the weirdest fever dream musical moments I’ve ever had. It didn’t feel weird to do a spoken word elevator piece, which speaks to how crazy we all went.

The band and album have such eccentric and unique imagery. How did you land on FIZZ’s visual aesthetic?

Greta: When we were talking about the creative direction of the album, words that kept coming up were: retreat, fantastical, and escape. We wanted to mirror the experience of writing the album in the visuals. We referenced films we liked growing up: Willy Wonka, Alice in Wonderland, and The Wizard of Oz. These technicolor films take place when someone is being taken out of their normal lives and into another world. They’re odd films trying to make something joyful and a little bit strange.

So we made up this world called FizzVille where everything exists, it’s this part-town, part-theme park that creeps up in the digital world and will be a feature in the live show. We worked with [photographer] JP Bonino who helped realize FizzVille. It’s a world that keeps expanding.

This is my most important question. FIZZ, what is the secret to life?

dodie: We don’t know… but I’m starting to think it’s going outside. [Laughs] I’ve changed my mind a lot. I think it’s gratitude.

Greta: I thought you were going to say Gret.

dodie: Gret is the secret to life.

Orla: One of us needs to have a deeper answer to end this interview.

Martin: I think the secret to life is community. Finding your people, looking out for each other, and being nice. Nothing groundbreaking.

FIZZ’s ‘The Secret To Life’ is out now.

#fizz #yourfavebandfizz #fizz band #all #interview #nylon #nylon magazine #Youtube

[n0-eyedtaissa]

1-10, 85-90

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

according to my most recent spotify 'on repeat' :

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

there's honestly a whole list i could come up with probably. but given my job at the library i'd day john steinbeck, just because i wanna see what all the dang fuss is about.

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

lmfao it's from 'someone who will love you in all your damaged glory' by the guy who made bojack horseman. this particular short story is making comparisons between wedding traditions and odd pagan rituals lol:

"Not knowing what to do, I hightail it to the Divinatory Rune Company and take the elevator up to the top."

4: What do you think about most?

time lmfao. "how much longer before x" , "do i have enough time for y"

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

"YOU LOOK SO GOOD" because my friend rebekah is seeing boygenius tonight and she indeed looks So Good in the fit pic she sent!

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

absolutely with, the concept of sleeping without clothes seems like a sensory nightmare to me....you're too exposed to the elements lmfao

7: What’s your strangest talent?

im like...suspiciously good at bancing things on the top of my head. at this point im convinced i have a flat spot

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls are cool...boys are ... also cool? people who are both and/or neither? also hella cool. idk what im supposed to do here but yes im queer asf

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

technically yes??? it wasnt a song with lyrics but it was a really cool instrumental because my partner at the time was in a band but the genre they played was something i WASNT into so he made me something i'd like more. i literally hate that guy now, but i'll never deny how hard he delivered with that lmfao

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

im honestly more of an air drums kind of gal. i be tappin my lil fingies all the time tbh

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

ive been on a music from high school kick this morning so it was 'home' by edward sharpe and the magnetic zeroes

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

i really like orange, before that i was super into yellow. i just rounded out my Green Phase. idk whats next. i think i just hated how much black i was always wearing and desperately needed to change that!

87: What is your current desktop picture?

its from the one and only time i ever have been to las vegas, some weird/cool neon lights lol

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

donald trump or literally Every conservative lawmaker/person in power

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

probably stuff relating to my family weirdness tbh. just because my answers would be wild

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

i sit up and look around in disbelief. how did my sleepwalking get bad enough that i was able to take apart my bedframe, transport my mattress and said bed frame, move it to the museum, AND reassemble it without waking up. that's my bad, mummies.

#i love these asks omg