#yes i'm aware the show is still modern do i care? no

[twelverriver]

i know i say they don’t make men like this anymore about at least four different men but they literally do not make men like cal isaac anymore what the fuck. guys how do you not know him he is the man. he’s literally the best he’s my uncle he’s my best friend i want to send him to therapy. he’s my everything he’s the blueprint.

#jana.txt #yes i'm aware the show is still modern do i care? no #yes he is the blueprint idc #like make a man as interesting and as caring and gentle and respectful and strong and stubborn and core ingredient pining as him #u CANT #he is still my blorbo everyone #absentia #cal isaac

[shelbystales]

Best Aid - Part Eight

Modern Tommy Shelby x Reader - Masterlist

Previous parts: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7

Summary: you are a young doctor in Birmingham. After a crazy incident, Thomas Shelby shows up at your hospital. You don’t know much about the man everyone seems to fear, but you definitely will.

Warning: swearing, mention of torture and panick attack

A/N:  Comment and interact, tell me what you think! it means a looot.

English is my second language so I apologize in advance for the grammar mistakes.

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On your next shift, the first thing you did when you arrived at the hospital was go straight to John Doe's room to see if he was still there. 

To your surprise, yes, he was still there. 

He had already undergone jaw surgery the day before, and to an even greater surprise, he was awake. He stared at the room's window as if he was hypnotized.

"Hi," you said, entering the room. "Good to see you awake," you smiled.

He shifted his attention from the window to you but didn't say anything. Well, he couldn't speak, as his mouth was paralyzed on the side of the jaw surgery, and it would probably stay that way for a while. 

His face was much less swollen and deformed then you had remembered.

You approached him to get the medical record and check the progress of his exams. "My name is Y/N; I was the doctor on duty the night you arrived. Do you feel any pain?" He subtly shook his head, and when you asked if you could examine him, he gave a small nod.

During the examination, you proceeded with caution, aware of the potential trauma he might have experienced. The signs of infection from his blood test had decreased, and the wound appeared to be healing well. Other than that, he was healing well.

After completing the examination, you left the room and returned to the trauma center, where you met with the shift residents and assigned tasks.

You started to overthink why Thomas hadn't stolen your patient, but as you created a thousand questions in your head, you just decided to accept the situation and move on with your day. After all, he did comply with your request.

Continuing your rounds, you attended to other patients.

During a break in the staff lounge, Jeremy joined you with his usual big smile. "Hey girl, how are you?" he asked, taking a seat beside you.

"Hey," you smiled back. "I'm good, you?"

"Great. Doctor says my fiancé has prostatitis," he said, relieved.

"Good, some antibiotics should solve it. Might take a while, though." you smiled

"Yeah... no sex for a while… well, at least it's not cancer," he joked.

"Dodged a bullet, huh?" you chuckled.

"Yes, yes. I was worried," he sighed. "Are you really okay? I didn't see you leave last shift."

You sighed, debating how much to share with Jeremy. "It's been a wild ride, Jer. There's this whole situation with the patient, and then late at night, Thomas showed up. It's like a never-ending rollercoaster with him."

Jeremy's smile faded, replaced by genuine concern. "What?" he asked, leaning in slightly.

"Yeah. And I fucking had a panic attack after he told me he would discharge John Doe. But then... he was so kind, helping me through the panic. I just... I don't know. I'm so confused about everything," you confessed.

"He just showed up and wanted to discharge the unconscious, almost dying man?" he asked, and you nodded.

"And as I argued he couldn't, I suddenly couldn't breathe," you shrugged. "I need a break. I told him I didn't want to see him. He just doesn't care."

Jeremy's expression turned from concern to disbelief. "That's insane. He is insane.”

“Just figuring that out now?” you frowned and sighed “But… At the same time, he brought the man in, and I don’t think he did all that to him. Also, he didn't steal my patient… and he was so so gentle to me.”

Jeremy furrowed his brows. “Okay, listen up, I love you. But you've got to figure out what you want from him, Y/N. It's not healthy to be caught in this constant state of confusion. You either want him or not."

“I don’t,” you blurted out.

“Shut up, you don’t. If you didn’t, what he did or didn’t do wouldn’t bother you,” he said, cutting through your protest with a knowing look.

You sighed, realizing Jeremy might be onto something. The conflicting emotions and the chaos Thomas brought into your life were undeniable, and deep down, you questioned your own motives.

“I just can't make sense of it, Jer. He's this enigma, this complicated man who seems to defy any logic i create,” you confessed, running a hand through your hair.

“People like that can be dangerous to get involved with, Y/N. I don’t want to see you getting hurt. Yes, he’s hot as fuck, might fuck you senselless, but we need boundaries to keep ourselves safe sometimes” Jeremy said, genuine concern etched across his face.

“Yeah I know. I just need time to figure things out,” you replied, your mind still swirling with uncertainty.

“Maybe just fuck him and ghost him” He smiled 

“That is definitely not the best option” you chuckled

“Yeah… i just. I want you to get laid. Maybe with someone else. You deserve it. Some dick could make your thoughts clearer” he leaned back as his big smile continued crossing his face

“Yeah, right. As if I have a line of people that want to fuck me”

“Oh girl… you are so oblivious. Let's start with all the male residents! And some nurses… Jesus you have no idea” He said surprised

“I’m gonna go. You forget it, i’m not getting involved with anyone in this hospital” you said

“Okay” he shrugged as you stood up and left

As the day progressed, you found yourself once again immersed in the demanding environment of the hospital.

In the quiet moments between duties, you couldn't help but reflect on Jeremy's words. The need for clarity tugged at you, urging you to confront the feelings you failed to understand.

As you left the hospital that day, the internal conflict within you raged on. Thomas Shelby's presence seemed to evoke a myriad of emotions - confusion, frustration, and an undeniable attraction that left you questioning your own judgment.

When you walked into the lobby of the hotel, you caught sight of Thomas engaged in a serious discussion with his aunt, Polly. The lines on Thomas's face spoke of stress and tension, a departure from his usual composed demeanor.

You stood there, observing from a distance, deciding if you should or not talk to him. Set some things straight. Maybe all you wanted to hear was that he didn’t do anything to the man. Or maybe that he cares about others and that’s the reason he left the man in the hospital care. Or maybe… just maybe… you wanted to hear his husky voice…

As Thomas and Polly concluded their conversation, you observed him preparing to leave the lobby, a sense of urgency evident on his face. Your eyes met, and a shy smile from you prompted a momentary pause, marked by a furrowed brow.

"Can we talk?," you mouthed standind a few feets away from him.

He slightly nodded. Stopping in the middle of the lobby and following you after you started to walk in the direction of the elevators.

As you stepped into the elevator, the atmosphere between you and Thomas was heavy. The air charged with unresolved tension.

The doors closed, enveloping both of you in a temporary cocoon of privacy.

"Alright, Y/N, what's on your mind?" Thomas inquired, his voice low and steady. His posture, rigid yet composed.

You took a deep breath, your gaze fixed on the floor, steeling yourself for the words about to spill out. "I need you to be honest,"

"About?" he replied, his piercing gaze fixed on you. 

"The man," you said, meeting his gaze, searching for any hint of emotion in his stoic posture—a true master of the poker face.

"What about him?" His response, delivered with an air of nonchalance

"Did you do that to him?" you pressed

"I already told you that, eh?" he countered, glancing around the elevator as it announced the floor—the floor to your room.

"You didn't," you asserted, the tension escalating with each passing moment.

"Yeah, I didn't do it," he admitted, his eyes meeting yours briefly before the elevator doors opened. You exited first, and he followed, the charged atmosphere trailing into the corridor and eventually into your hotel room.

In the room, you moved with purpose, entering the kitchen to fetch two glasses of water. Placing them on the dining table, you invited him to sit. 

"How long will this take?" he inquired, his posture a blend of impatience and reservation.

"Do you have somewhere else to be?" you countered, your eyes locked onto his.

"I do" he answered shortly

"If you want to fix this, take a seat," you added, leaning back and crossing your arms, awaiting his response.

Thomas hesitated for a moment, his gaze lingering on you, weighing the options. After a pause that seemed to stretch on, he finally relented, his movements fluid yet hesitant as he took a seat at the dining table.

You observed him closely, noting the subtle nuances in his posture.

"Why did you bring him to the hospital if you weren't responsible for what happened to him?" you questioned, your voice steady. 

His eyes met yours, a flicker of something unreadable passing through them. "I never said I wasn't responsible. I said I didn't do it," he responded, the words hanging in the space between you like an unspoken challenge.

“Fuck you” you filled your mouth to say those words, and it felt good “What the fuck is that suppossed to mean?”

"He's a friend," he admitted

"Why didn't you just say that from the beginning?" you retorted, frustration evident in your tone.

Thomas's gaze remained steady, a mixture of regret and resolve in his eyes. "There are things that go beyond simple explanations."

"No, no. Some explanations are pretty simple," you shrugged, your frustration simmering beneath the surface.

"Y/N," he began, his Birmingham accent adding a distinct cadence to his words. "If I started spillin' every detail, you'd be tangled in a mess you're better off avoiding. Because then, you would ask me why my friend was like that. And I would have to tell you, since we're bein' honest, that he was kidnapped and tortured for information about me. Because that's what happens to people around me. And you would ask me why, and I tell you, that's business, and me business is a difficult thing to explain" he continued, his voice carrying the weight of a reality that seemed both distant and uncomfortably close.

The room echoed with a heavy silence, the weight of Thomas's revelations settling around you both. You knew exactly what his business was after a few hours googling him, no. A few hours fucking stalking the man.

"I never asked for any of this, Thomas," you finally spoke, your voice a mix of frustration and vulnerability. "I never signed up for a life entangled in your... business."

Thomas leaned back, his eyes fixed on you, acknowledging the truth in your words. "And I never asked you to. But here we are."

"I don't want to end up like your friend," you stated firmly, your voice carrying the weight of your fears and the boundaries you needed to set.

Thomas's eyes, now revealed a hint of regret. "You won't," he replied, his voice softer than before. "I promise."

You sighed, feeling the weight of the situation settling on your shoulders. Taking both hands to your face, you couldn't shake off the stress that had crept into your being.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, his usually stoic demeanor giving way to an unexpected tenderness.

"Stressed," you answered

"Aren't we all?" he remarked, a rare hint of vulnerability in his voice.

"Is your life always like this?" you inquired, curiosity peeking.

"No, it has never been like this," he admitted, taking a sip of the water in front of him. "Could be a glass of whisky, eh?" he suggested, a faint smile playing on his lips.

"I don't remember the last time I drank whisky," you confessed.

"Really?" he raised an eyebrow, glancing around the room. "I think there's a bottle somewhere."

"There's a drink cart in the bedroom," you informed him.

After a brief search, he found the cart and walking into the living room with the bottle in hand he looked at you for approval. "One glass?"

"Sure, why not?" you agreed, welcoming the distraction 

Thomas poured a modest amount of whisky into two glasses, the amber liquid catching the soft glow of the room. As he handed you a glass, his fingers brushed against yours in a fleeting touch, making your heart race wiht excitement. 

As the whisky warmed your insides, Thomas leaned back, the weight of his own burdens evident in the lines of his face. You couldn't help but notice how well he looked, how well dressed he was. If you just saw him crossing the streed, you would never believe that the man in front of you was a fucking gang leader.

The air between you carried a mixture of tension and a strange camaraderie born out of the unexpected intimacy of the moment.

"This is better," Thomas remarked, studying the liquid in his glass after taking a sip.

"You know, this isn't how I imagined our conversation going," you admitted, a wry smile playing on your lips.

Thomas chuckled, the sound rich and resonant. "Nor did I, Y/N."

Ozzy appeared, strolling in from the bedroom and hopping onto the couch, where he promptly settled down for a nap. You couldn't help but smile as you watched him make himself comfortable.

"Do you like cats?" you asked, curious about Thomas's preferences.

"No," he answered bluntly.

"Get out of my room," you joked, eliciting a chuckle from him. "Why not?"

He shrugged. "I just don't."

"Yeah, you look like a dog person."

"I have horses, I don't have a dog."

"Oh, right. Rich people pets," you teased, a playful smile on your face.

Thomas raised an eyebrow at your playful jab. "Horses are not exactly house pets," he remarked, a hint of amusement in his tone.

"Fair point," you conceded, enjoying the banter that seemed to ease the tension. "So, what does Thomas Shelby do for fun? Besides making me insane, of course"

His gaze flickered with a subtle mix of contemplation and amusement. "Fun... hm, let's say I like riding horses, reading, and chess."

"Chess, huh? I bet I can win” you smiled, gaze locked on his

Thomas Shelby leaned back, a mysterious glint in his eyes as he considered your challenge about chess. "You can try," he said, his smirk hinting at a quiet confidence.

The air between you felt lighter. You felt good about it. He could be a good company. 

"What happened?" you asked, meeting his gaze. Thomas frowned slightly, not understanding what you meant. "How did a guy that likes horses and plays chess turn my life upside down? making me feel like I couldn't breathe for days? Made me fear my life. At one point I felt so paranoid that i could swear there was someone was following me down the hospital. Because the Thomas in here now... I like this Thomas."

There was a moment of silence, Thomas's gaze held a mixture of contemplation and a touch of vulnerability you failed to see before.

"I already told you I didn't intend for any of this, Y/N," he began, his voice softer than usual “Believe me if you want, I didn't want you to get caught in it. But then, I woke up and you were already involved”

"I know," you admitted, your voice reflecting a mixture of gratitude and apprehension. "But I don't know how to navigate through this. It's like stepping into a world or a war I never knew existed."

He reached across the table, his hand covering yours in a gesture of reassurance that sent a little jolt through you. "Look, I want you to know that I won't leave you alone in the chaos I've brought. Ok?", You nodded 

His touch, warm and reassuring, sent a subtle thrill through you, awakening a desire you hadn't fully acknowledged since he walked in here tonight. As your eyes locked with his, an unspoken promise hung in the air, and for a brief moment, you found myself teetering on the edge of exploring something deeper with Thomas Shelby.

you cleared your throat, a nervous habit that betrayed the tumultuous thoughts racing through your mind. "Don't you have somewhere to be?" you managed to inquire, hoping to redirect the conversation and temper the rising anticipation. The effects of the whisky were starting to weave their magic, adding a layer of haziness to your judgment.

"I do," he sighed taking his hand from yours and adjusting his suit. "I enjoyed our talk. Are we in a better place?"

"Yeah, just... don't bring me more near-death guys. Please," you chuckled, the sound echoing in the room.

"And who would I take them to?," he replied, a hint of amusement in his eyes.

“I don't know" you shrugged "Government health system is avaible in birmingham"

He chuckled "yes, i have a hospital so that I can send my friends to the public system" he mocked

"Well... can I just ask you to try and be honest? That's all I really need from you. I don't want to fear you” 

"Are you sure the truth won't make you do exactly that?,"

"So far it hasn't, the other way around actualy" you answered

"Fine. That's a challenging thing to ask me, but sure. I can try," he agreed.

"Good," you smiled.

"Have a good night, Y/N," he said, starting to stand up. As he rose, something compelled him to lean down, and he pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head.

"You too," you replied, feeling a strange mix of surprise and comfort. As he headed toward the door, you couldn't help but blurt out, "Wait, why didn’t you steal my patient?"

He stopped in his tracks, turning back to face you. "I couldn’t have him die on me, and… I trust you," he explained, his words hanging in the air. It left you with a complex swirl of emotions.

"Can I ask his name?" you inquired.

"Johnny Dogs. He's not registered, by the way. So, keep it as John Doe. If people start asking too many questions, you tell me," he instructed, and you nodded. His gaze holding yours for a moment longer before he walked out.

With a deep sigh, you sank back into your chair, contemplating the unexpected twists of the day.

The Thomas you saw in here now was the same one you welcomed into your home and that version of Thomas was surprisingly good company. That was the Thomas who drew you in, the one you found yourself attracted to. Yet, how could he embody two entirely different personas simultaneously? one you felt like punching and other you felt like kissing...

At least, he trusted you.

The knowledge of his trust provided a welcome boost to your self-esteem. Despite the whirlwind of confusion and complexity, you couldn't deny the comfort in knowing that, in his own enigmatic way, Thomas Shelby trusted in you.

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#peakyblinders #blinders #cillianmurphy #fanfic #peaky blinder fanfic #arthurshelby #peaky blinders #thomas shelby #tommy shelby #john shelby #masterlist #oneshot #tommy Shelby x reader #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby imagine #tommy shelby fanfic #tommyshelby #peaky blinders fanfic #polly gray #modern thomas shelby #modern tommy shelby #peaky blinder imagine

[considerablecolors]

so anyways thinking about Muriel trying to learn more about humans and watching TV and such and how they would absolutely undeniably be OBSESSED with Bluey once they discovered it. how they would immediately feel connected to characters that are also learning more about the world around them everyday and being proud of themselves for slowly picking up on jokes for the older audience and such. which is a fun thought by itself. BUT THEN.

this brings to mind Muriel wanting to show Bluey to Crowley and Aziraphale (this takes place sometime after season 3 where they're all a family again), and Crowley's like "yeah everyone Below tried really hard to stop it from getting distributed in the US, big blow for us" to which Aziraphale replies "oh yes I spoke with the angel that worked on it, they got quite the promotion!"

anywho both of them try to get out of watching it because "it's a bloody kids show" and "I'm really not too fond of modern television" but Muriel is making puppy dog eyes so OBVIOUSLY they're gonna cave in eventually.

and at first they're not really paying TOO much attention, Aziraphale is charmed by the soundtrack and animation and Crowley does snort at "this isn't the eighties anymore" but like obviously they're not INTO it, they can just admittedly see why Muriel likes it. and then. AND THEN. THE BLUEY EFFECT.

pause. we all know of the Bluey phenomenon. like oh it's this kids show for babies like peppa pig to -> oh there's some fun jokes for the parents here the teachers really like it to -> oh god I'm a 22 year old mentally ill queer person who's been sobbing my eyes out on tiktok for ten minutes why didn't my dad ever love me.

something something the soft gentle tone of the show and its lessons combined with how honest and blunt they are about things combined with the kind and powerful parenting displayed by the main family. it breaks people. it heals wounds. it gets through to those repressed issues. we all know the bluey effect.

NOW. THAT'S FUCKING HUMANS. NOW IMAGINE THAT WITH THESE FUCKERS.

literally centuries worth of repressed trauma, NO emotional intelligence or awareness whatsoever, every mental barrier you can think of, literally mommy issues from GOD, and on top of it all, they're an angel and a demon right so obviously they don't need to worry about petty human things like "therapy" and "coping skills" and "talking through issues" and "boundaries" and ""self-worth"".

BLUEY WOULD FUCKING BREAK THEM.

like oh yes this is a charming show but I'm not sure it's quite for me and then BOOM. Aziraphale gets hit with "there's something going on with me" "does your outside voice sometimes say yes when your inside voice says no?" "I don't think I know how to relax" "I just... felt like I was doing everything wrong"

like wow angel are you actually crying over cartoon dogs you're so emotional and then BOOM. Crowley gets hit with the "you don't need to keep coming back to this place" "he should take care of himself because I still need him" "now you've got all that upset and angry in your hands- do you want to keep it?" "why can’t she just have the thing she wants?"

ALL OF A SUDDEN MURIEL LOOKS UP AND OH MY GOD I MADE MY DADS CRY I'VE NEVER SEEN THEM CRY BEFORE OH NO OH NO WHAT DO I DO UMMM NINA MAGGIE PLEASE COME TO THE BOOKSHOP I THINK I BROKE THEM ON ACCIDENT

i'm just saying if aziraphale and crowley had been blueypilled before then maybe there would've actually been some fucking nightingales ok.

#this is possibly my most unhinged post to date but do you SEE the vision. #“i wrote a 'characters watch good omens' fic” WELL WHAT IF I WROTE A GOOD OMENS CHARACTERS WATCH BLUEY FIC HUH. WHAT THEN. #bluey #good omens #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #Crowley #muriel #aziracrow #good omens 2 #cc speaks

[deer-carcasses]

somewhat an analysis of Alastor

I've been going over this multiple times while it was just some rambles in my notes, but I finally decided it might as well see the light of day. if you do read this all, thank you. if not,,, understandable. it's a lot.

if this whole things is not coherent at all and does some weird jumps, I'm sorry. I took multiple breaks writing this over the span of the whole day. it was even more of a mess, I promise this is the slightly cleaned-up version.

especially the later parts get less cohesive in my eyes since I had to take longer breaks in between them. they also might jump around more. but now, in case you do want to read this; enjoy.

obvious spoilers ahead

let's start with the most interesting aspect for me: we barely know Alastor. sure, we know a little about his backstory, and get snippets of interactions here and there, but it wasn't until well into the show that we got to know his character better. ep.5 was where we see something deeper than the shallow persona he puts on for everyone. he's been more of a helping hand to make the plot progress in an interesting direction than a character with obvious deeper meaning. I don't mean to say that he was not well-written, quite the contrary, I mean to point out that he seemed more like a tool in the story than a character we are supposed to connect with on deeper levels.

we all as viewers had no idea why exactly he was there, to begin with, he said it was for his own entertainment but even then, this seemed like an awful lot of work for him to come out more or less empty-handed most of the time. it's an unfair deal for Alastor if you ask me. and honestly, he does bring little less than "entertainment" to the table until then. being used to show that he is helping yes, but mostly doing it so he can pull someone else down with his help. double-sided blade. he loses, but whoever he helps also doesn't win.

let's talk about ep.5 though. in this episode it's the first time someone truly irritates him. he didn't really care much for Vox - seemingly finding his entire obsession rather funny and never seeing him as a true threat. and Sir Pentious he didn't even truly remember. but with Lucifer that changes. Alastor doesn't just see him as bothersome, he sees him as important enough to go out of his way to prove he is better than the literal king of hell himself. at first, you could argue that he's once again doing it for his entertainment. seeing how much he can push before he needs to get back in line. but looking closer, his body language betrays him.

the way Alastor holds himself shows a true disdain for Lucifer that is, from a viewer's perspective, totally unjustified. Lucifer did not start their weird rival dynamic, it was Alastor who from the beginning on looked down on the king. maybe it's a personal reason, maybe it's just the fact that Alastor is more than well aware that no matter how much power he gets, there's no way to get above Lucifer. his omnipresence might simply be an annoyance to Alastor because he knows as well as Lucifer that the king hasn't shown his face in a long time and his reputation and power over all of the pride ring, over all of hell, still stays in place. no real threat could shake Lucifer's power into crumpling and this thought alone might bother Alastor because he had to fight for his power, to keep his power. (see Vox having presumably more power with the modern media and all that before Alastor disappeared)

and there's also of course the whole bantering going on in Hell's greatest Dad. Are Alastor's words genuine when he speaks to Charlie, or is it just a tactic to get under Lucifer's skin, maybe not seeing his powers crumble but seeing the king's nerves being reduced to nothing by his hands.

I personally don't think he was being entirely truthful. he might not have straight up lied about everything, but I don't think he truly wishes Charlie to be his daughter. Charlie herself is more than a little surprised by how Alastor suddenly treats her, and that alone is proof enough for me that he wasn't being honest in his words. if it were true, wouldn't he have at least a slight fatherly touch towards her all the time? Later on, Angel Dust even somewhat points out that Alastor has never acted like this by asking what his [Alastor's] deal is. It shows me that no matter how badly he tries to make it seem real for Lucifer, it's not real for anyone else simply because they all know how he normally acts around them.

continuing to Mimzy for a short moment; she is proven to not be a reliable narrator at all so I don't want to really take what she tells about Alastor all too seriously. she even concludes her little tale about the radio demon with "That's the story most people know." which does not make it any true. something I thought is very interesting is that the only two people who might have any idea of how truthful Mimzy is in her story are both gone. Niffty, though she also does not seem like the most reliable narrator, is not part of this conversation, and Hus kates himself out of the scene almost in the same moment Mimzy starts talking about. Husk leaving is more important since he obviously knows more about not only Alastor but also the deal Alastor is bound to. Husk and Alastor might equally hate it, but Husk does seem to care about Alastor at least a little. warning the overlord about Mimzy and how she is known for only showing up when she needs something, and I'm sure Alastor is more than aware that Mimzy wouldn't show up simply to catch up with old friends, but still. the sentiment of Husk seeking Alastor out to warn him, and even mentioning how he [Alastor] has been gone for a while now, is in itself caring, especially when moments later the viewers find out how much more Husk seems to know about Alastor. it even seems as if he is aware of limitations, mentioning how it's "Big talk for someone who's also on a leash." coming from Alastor's deal, even if Alastor himself is ignoring them [see the line "Who in their right mind would cross me?"]

the whole fact that Husk even seems to know so much about Alastor's deal is confusing in a way. I can't see Alastor willingly going to Husk and telling him about not only the deal he made with someone above himself but also about the limitations of said deal, it just doesn't make sense for the character we know Alastor to be, and even when finishing the show my opinion doesn't change. it's even more prominent how he later hides away.

after this scene, Alastor isn't seen catching back up to Charlie, Vaggie, and Lucifer to continue annoying him simply by his presence. his outburst having left him apparently on edge - showing that he isn't as calm and calculated as he likes to pretend. he obviously struggles with his own anger, be it at Husk for bringing up that he knows about Alastor's deal, or himself for ever getting into the situation in the first place.

later we see Alastor taking care of Mimzy's problem -the loan sharks. he's not seen using his powers like he did when Sir Pentious attacked though, he willingly transforms into something eldritch to devour the threat instead of simply using the tentacles, which would've been just as easy for Alastor. in my eyes that's him getting rid of the last restlessness about his outburst at Husk. choosing to do it himself, showing he still has free will over what he does and doesn't do. if not proving it to Husk then proving it to himself that he can choose to do this. he goes all out, he even comments on it himself how he needs to let off steam and later on how he's important here and willingly choosing to be here, helping ["It's time to remind everyone [Husk] why I'm here."] Alastor needs Husk to know what happens when you cross him, and when you doubt him. because he took the comments about how long he's been gone and that he's also on a leash personally. I don't even think it's necessarily because Husk said it, it's that someone in hell said it. not a soul in hell is allowed to think that Alastor, the radio demon, is not strong enough to win every fight he chooses to start.

let me come back to Mimzy once more, as if this one scene scratching the surface of what lies underneath his smile-bright persona revealed by Husk wasn't enough we get Alastor being all buddy-buddy with Mimzy, who is not only acting like a friend to him but is also introduced as such. a normal friend to someone who is so obviously not normal.

but even with his more friendly behavior towards her, he ends up sending her away after the hotel has to suffer under the problem she brought along. ["I can't have that here."] If he was genuine with what he said then, why did he phrase it like that? I might be reading too much into it, but Alastor normally picks his words wisely enough to not let too much slip, and the sentence "I don't want this here." would've been better fitting for the situation, but he says can't have that here. new question, what can't he have here? Mimzy herself? someone who knows him better than the residence with maybe a habit of blabbering? or was it just the fact that it's her problems that he needs to fix? that he can't have her bringing more work than there already is at the hotel?

now making a bit of a jump, going from ep.5 to ep.7 this episode makes me mostly wonder about what Alastor could ask from Charlie later on based on the deal the two of them made. in terms of character, it gave us little besides his dynamic with Rosie and the entirety of cannibal city. though this was also not really anything new, more just what we already knew about Alastor in a new dynamic

there is one scene I do want to talk about though. his whole little speech around smiling. him actually standing by and admitting that he is hiding behind his smile did take me a second to actually realize what just happened, I did skip back to it because I was a little stunned by the absurdity of it all. after some thought it made sense that he might not mind it, Charlie does not know him well enough for this off-hand comment to truly affect anything for him, still it made me wonder. why would he reveal it to her? was he simply so sure that she wouldn't use it against him or did he think she wouldn't even think of using anything against him in this kind of way?

so it confirms that yes; Alastor uses his smile as a facade and also as a way to show he is above others who cannot hide behind a smile like he can. his smile means indifference to himself, neutrality. for him showing anything but the indifference that his smile represents is vulnerability. weakness.

let's move on to the actual "highlight" episode of "What We Learn about Alastor" ep.8

this surely was not the first time he got humbled badly by someone in a fight. it's what he wants to avoid most, the mask slipping, everyone seeing that he can be defeated, that he is not this otherworldly powerful being that not a soul in hell [or heaven] can touch. there had to be at least one very significant moment where he was powerless in a way. where he had to strike up a deal with someone higher, the one now binding him, now having him on a leash.

Alastor went into the fight with Adam overly confident, underestimating Adam's powers to the point he barely got away. he is, after all this, still a mortal soul. a sinner. Adam on the other hand was the first man which gives him roughly the same power Lilith must have. that in itself makes me think Alastor lasted a good deal longer in the battle than I would've thought. pure angelic powers far surpassing his own and he still 1) got away in the end and 2) was able to get in a few hits.

let's quickly touch on the fact that when Adam broke his microphone he seemed to be completely stunned, apparently not having thought that he could easily break his possession without any real resistance. I personally don't think his power is necessarily in the microphone [the was the simply gave it away to Charlie in ep.7 being my proof for why it can't be. he would never abandon his power just for Charlie to sing a song for a few cannibals] but what if it maybe is some kind of amplifier for it? maybe it's also pure placebo and Alastor was simply too stunned that Adam would go for the piece of equipment instead of for a deadly blow right away. the microphone surely was a confidence boost, feeling of being 'on air' the feeling of having his broadcast behind him while doing his everyday tasks giving him the boost he sometimes needs, his ego being constantly stroked by the knowledge that there would be countless sinners bowing to him if he simply said the words into his microphone. no longer being able to do that made him stutter in more ways than one, being momentarily careless, not prepared for Adam to strike again, deadly this time. he lost where he was in his performance, in his own show, and it made him mess up.

one interesting sentence is when Adam comments on how Alastor is just a mortal soul. "You should know better than anyone what a soul can accomplish when they take charge of their own fate." which makes me want to believe that's exactly what Alastor did, taking charge of his own fate. but the thing is that we know he did not. he made a deal with someone, and he doesn't have the ability to take charge of anything about his own being anymore. he's as much on a leash as he has Husk on one. that would only mean that he isn't at his full potential, held back by the deal he so desperately wants to get out of, and is actively looking for a way to get out of it. which turns this line into something else completely. Alastor reveals that he knows what he is capable of, but cannot parade his power due to his deal.

another interesting detail is his ears before he dissolves into his shadow. they are pinned back, showing not only agitation or fear but disorientation. he opens his mouth for no sound to come out and it frightens him to have come into this situation at all.

a big part of his mental disintegration in this moment surely is also the fact that if he had died at this moment, if Adams's hit was slightly more fatal, he would've died bound to the deal still. Alastor would have gone without being able to fulfill his own goal - getting rid of the chain around his throat. getting control back over his own afterlife. if he had died at Adam's hands, he would have died being possessed by someone else which we can assume is what Alastor sees as the lowest he can fall. the people bound to him by a deal mean nothing to him as it seems, we only ever got to see those who were needed for the Hotel.

while also, dying in this moment would have proven to everyone that he stayed to protect the hotel, his friends, but retreating and not being killed in a heroic death-wish battle be had proven to especially the audience that Alastor is not ride or die for these people.

in his breakdown ballad, we can finally see where he went to to lick his wounds. his entire breakdown also shows once again how scared he truly is of being inadequate. this wasn't just a reminder from Husk that he is indeed also on a leash, being pulled to where whoever holding it wants him to go, this is a rendezvous with death, barely escaping the situation that would have proven that he is too weak, at least while being bound by this deal he is [no longer] profiting from.

the place not only reeks of death for him, like he says in his song, but it also reeks of shame at the fact that he had nearly not made it out alive. it would've been seen as a noble act had he truly died in this scene, he had not died protecting himself, he had died protecting others. it is worse than dying on a leash even since at least almost no one knows about that, it would allow him to save some face. but dying for these people? he cannot even stand the thought of it.

in his mind he needs to keep up the smiling facade, the indifference in this smile he holds obviously so dear, for eternity. him dying should not allow the indifference he stands for to evaporate, he needs to play the act even after being killed in his afterlife.

even if this now ends rather abruptly, my work here is done. see you next time I start writing and simply don't stop for a while.

it truly is "Good to be back on the Air." with a newly cleaned-up space to talk about fandoms

this might be edited later on, nothing major, maybe just to have some actual continuity in it.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #alastor #hellaverse #vivziepop #vivianne miedema #character analysis #i just like tlaking about the little fucked up red guy #i am not normal about this show in the slightest #someone restrain me #i could talk about them endlessly #hazbin hotel ep. 5 / 7 / 8 specifically #hazbin spoilers #alastor character analysis #hazbin hotel alastor character analysis #the radio demon

[mbti-notes]

hi! im an entj and i wanted to know if you have any tips on how to be a better student whilst not thinking too much about grades or results. i feel like i place alot of emphasis on grades and results and i think it often hinders me at times. i often have trouble finding more ''meaning'' in my work and i'm not sure how to add more value into it other than achieving a good grade.

Your question is too vague because you haven't specified what level of schooling you're at and what your idea of a "better" student looks like. This "hinders you" how exactly? What is the exact nature or source of your discontent? What exactly are you aiming for? Without this context, it's hard to craft a response.

Did you know that professors in the US are witnessing a "literacy crisis" in their students that has never before been observed in the history of modern education? While there have always been unmotivated and underachieving students, nowadays, an alarming percentage of motivated students are barely able to handle more than ten pages of text at a time (the average assignment used to be 20-30 pages), nor are they able to analyze and comprehend the meaning, themes, or arguments being communicated in the text.

A literacy deficit poses a serious threat not just to the student's individual success, but also to the integrity of higher education and the functioning of society. Colleges have no choice but to "dumb down" their offerings over time. But more importantly, a successful democracy is difficult to sustain without intelligent and literate citizenry making sound judgments about complex social, political, and economic issues.

One obvious factor contributing to this problem is that many students have fallen behind due to the pandemic. Another obvious factor is the smartphone and the major role it has played in decimating people's attention spans. Extended focus and concentration are extremely important for learning, but endless internet scrolling trains the mind to expect rapid change and crave instant gratification. Yes, anyone who genuinely wants to be a good student should care deeply about the factors that hinder/inhibit their learning process. Increasingly, misuse of technology, such as smartphone addiction and excessive reliance on AI, is a major factor that prevents students from reaching their greater potential.

High school and college students are still in the early stages of ego development. Since their self-awareness hasn't had much time to develop, they don't tend to be aware of their own underlying motivations, for example, they will often just do something because it's just what everyone around them does. Additionally, heavy social media consumption at this stage of life leads them to believe that "success" is just for show or about obtaining likes/praise.

This brings us to the main factor to consider, which is that students are increasingly trained to be motivated by extrinsic rewards. For example, in the US, school funding is often tied to exam scores, so teachers have been forced to focus more and more on teaching only to exams, in order to secure funding. Higher education has also become much more competitive, which means excellent grades are essential for securing a seat in university.

While there is nothing wrong with extrinsic motivation per se, there is something wrong when a person is only motivated by extrinsic rewards, to the point where they are completely ignorant/neglectful of intrinsic rewards. The research strongly suggests: People who are more intrinsically (than extrinsically) motivated tend to be better learners because they assign their own value to learning and understand the inherent virtues of intellect, knowledge, and skill, apart from their real-world applications. The topic of intrinsic motivation comes up often, I suggest you read past posts.

Before you asked me for "tips", did you put in a reasonable effort to inquire into yourself and figure out why you overemphasize extrinsic rewards? Could you come up with the reasons/causes on your own, through self-reflection? It's difficult to find the right solution to a problem when you don't understand its origins. This is an important point because a common symptom of extreme extrinsic motivation is abnormally low self-awareness due to having little to no inner life. How's your inner life?

With regard to type development, people who are very extrinsically motivated tend to a) be too easily influenced by environmental factors, and b) lack introverted development. The answer to your question already lies within you, specifically, in the state of development of your introverted Ni and Fi functions:

1) Extrinsically motivated people tend to believe that their life lacks meaning because the world lacks meaning. What they don't realize is that meaning starts from within, so the actual problem is that they aren't able to generate enough meaning on their own.

Ni is a key function for constructing meaning, usually through patiently exploring context and connections to a bigger picture (of life as a whole and/or the world at large). As such, lack of Ni development commonly manifests as:

dislike of ambiguity (due to preferring clear categorical answers)

impatience for complexity (due to wanting easy answers)

superficiality (due to not going beyond the known/obvious)

lack of vision (due to overemphasis on rapid results)

Since you didn't provide any details about function development, I can't speak to how much you struggle with the above issues. The only thing I can say is that all of them are detrimental to learning. Clarify your aim: Do you want to be a good student in school or a good learner in life? Do you know the difference? It is the difference between lower order versus higher order learning, which I have already explained in previous posts.

A good student wants to know the final answer. A lifelong learner uses ambiguity as an opportunity to explore more nuanced truth.

A good student can handle some challenges but stops at the most difficult point. A lifelong learner takes the initiative to unravel complexity and eventually encounters profound wisdom.

A good student reads the book all the way through. A lifelong learner is intellectually curious, which leads them to discover new realms of knowledge far beyond the book.

A good student follows instructions and is reasonably competent as a result. A lifelong learner sees the greater potential of the field as a whole and gradually becomes an expert as they attempt to realize that potential.

If a certain activity or subject matter doesn't hold any meaning for you, is it because it's boring, or is it because you haven't really given it a proper look? This isn't to say that you have to be an expert on everything; it is only to say that you won't be able to truly appreciate something until you dig deeper into it and actively nurture appreciation for it. This brings us to the second point...

2) Extrinsically motivated TJs tend to believe that "utility" is the only measure of value. What they don't realize is that value is inherent to existence, so the actual problem is an inability to recognize value.

Fi is a key function for assigning value, usually through forming uniquely personal and intensely emotional attachments. As such, lack of Fi development often manifests as:

taking things for granted (due to not honoring their value)

dismissive attitude (due to lack of emotional attachments)

passionless existence (due to fear of emotional intensity)

Again, I can't speak to how much you struggle with the above issues. I can only inform you that they also tend to be quite detrimental to learning:

Human beings need to stay fed and sheltered in order to survive, but they also need activities that affirm their humanity and enrich their life. What happens to learning if your only concern is securing a comfortable material life?

Human beings learn best through feeling deeply moved and inspired by the best of what humanity has to offer. What happens to learning if you remove the human component of knowledge and only treat it as "data", just another object for your consumption and disposal?

Human beings discover themselves and express themselves through their varied interests, which is how every subject comes to have its fans, devotees, and experts. What happens to learning if you refuse to take an interest, downplay enthusiasm, and temper or repress passion?

If a certain activity or subject matter doesn't hold any value for you, is it because it is "worthless", or because you are blind to its value? This isn't to say that you must love everything; it is only to say that you won't be able to know yourself truly and feel energized about learning as long as you have a habit of dismissing every aspect of life that isn't immediately or practically "useful" to you.

Having intrinsic motivation basically means you generate your own personal reasons for learning. Nobody can force you to care or take an interest. Becoming an adult means you have to be the one to realize the virtues of going above and beyond whatever is required to ace exams. It may all sound very abstract, but this makes the difference in determining whether you will end up being just another cog in the machine of society or whether your life will always feel imbued with a greater sense of meaning.

#entj #auxiliary ni #inferior fi #learning #intrinsic motivation #passion #ask

[ginger-lala]

Deep Blue

Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!MC (Rosie Callahan)

Summary: Sebastian is dating a time-traveller from the future and loses his mind over modern underwear (or the lack of).

Warnings: p in v, oral m receiving, fingering, neck biting.

Words: 2.8k

Rosie and Seb's full story can be read here: Wattpad || AO3

Rosie made it to the Astronomy Tower first, making the Room of Requirement appear to suit her tastes rather than Sebastian's, though it was a hotly debated topic of whether Sebastian let her win the race or if Rosie was merely faster.

But she waited for him and they crossed the threshold together, revealing a room that was less like a room and more like a small, cosy cottage.

She led him to one of the comfy couches, pulling him down with her and rested her head against his shoulder.

"So, do you feel more relaxed now?" She asked, fingers gently stroking where she'd just been inflicting pain upon him earlier, massaging the sore spot.

"I said I wasn't stressed." Sebastian said, apparently still standing by his earlier comments.

Rosie laughed and pushed into his back once more, making him wince and let out a small hiss. "Hm. Convincing, you are."

She pushed him back onto the lounge and hiked her skirt up, straddling him and pressing a soft kiss on his mouth. "Well, I had an idea to help you relax further but, if you're not stressed... then I suppose you'll be okay."

Sebastian looked at Rosie like she'd just told him she'd murdered his much loved pet cat.

Sebastian cleared his throat, attempting to regain some composure, his cheeks tinged with a faint blush. "I.. uh, maybe.. Maybe I'm a... a little bit stressed still."

"Hm. I thought so," Rosie smirked. "Well, you complimented my mouth skills this morning when I caught the piece of bread so I thought I would show you what else it can do. Something I only learned about myself recently."

Sebastian gulped hard, feeling the lump in his throat bob up and down.

"So, shall I show you?" Rosie asked, a bloody devilish smirk across her cheeks.

"Y—yes."

Rosie smiled and kissed him deeply, letting her hands explore the back of his neck, travelling south and under the collar of his shirt.

Keeping her mouth firmly pressed to his, she dragged them down his front and began to loosen the buttons, freeing his chest from the confines of the cotton and giving herself access to the vast and slightly fluffy expanse of his broad chest.

Rosie let her mouth begin to wander, tracing delicate pecks down his jaw, to his chin, to his throat, stopping to worship the nape of his neck with a slightly harder kiss, making sure to take some of the skin in her mouth and sucking hard enough, sure to leave her mark on him.

But Sebastian didn't care.

This was not how he thought his day was going to go when he woke up that morning.

Though, Sebastian would never complain and he simply tilted his neck back to offer Rosie more free space around his throat.

She appreciated the gesture, letting the hand not exploring his chest trace around the back of his head, fingers tangling in his hair and tightening, making sure his head stayed exactly where it was, right where she wanted it. He grunted as she pulled a little, making sure he was fully aware that she was in charge.

Rosie carefully placed a delicate row of deep purple marks in a pretty little row, covering right down to his chest, stopping to kiss each one softly as she moved to the next, almost as if it were an apology.

She wandered lower and lower, her grip on his hair loosening as he let her hands trace down the front of him, making sure she traced delicately over his nipples, making him shiver.

She pushed open the shirt, finding a very obvious clothed erection in his pants.

Just like she wanted.

She smirked as Sebastian's dazed eyes peered down at her, curiosity written in his face as he waited impatiently to see what she had planned.

He didn't want to speculate. He didn't want to assume. But judging by the way Rosie was now off the lounge and knelt in front of him, he liked to hope it was going the way he wished it would. The thing he would often dream about when he was taking care of himself. It may finally be a reality.

Rosie palmed at the cloth that was keeping her from what she desired most, the gentle friction making Sebastian grunt. It was almost painful.

She smirked and undid the button at the top of his pants, giving her enough space to reach her hand beneath then and his undergarments, tracing the soft fuzz that extended from his belly button and down beyond the boundaries of his breeches.

She found what she wanted and gently wrapped her thumb and index finger around him, squeezing softly which made Sebastian's hips jolt towards her hand, almost begging for more.

Rosie let out a soft chuckle, watching him be completely at her mercy, completely melting in her hand.

"Surely... that's not what you planned..." Sebastian groaned, itching, desperate for more.

But Rosie was enjoying taking her time with him. She revelled in the control she had over Sebastian, smiling at the power she held as he squirmed beneath her touch. She continued to tease him, her fingers dancing over his throbbing desire. Sebastian's breath hitched as Rosie maintained her firm grip, the sensation almost torturing.

Rosie removed her hand, a pathetic moan leaving Sebastian's mouth at the loss of sensation. But she smiled and shifted his hips up, shimmying his pants and underwear down, lower and lower until they were pooled at his ankles. She leaned in, letting her hot breath brush against his cock.

She peered up at him, parting her lips and gently sliding out her tongue, not letting her eyes move from his for a second.

A low and desperate string of profanities spilled from Sebastian's mouth as he watched her intently, her head dipping low as she let her tongue trace along the underside of his dick, collecting the clear fluid that had begun to spill down his shaft.

And without hesitation, she took him in her mouth, nearly swallowing him whole, with a warmth that made him gasp. Sebastian's hands instinctively sought out Rosie's hair, tangling in the blonde locks as he surrendered to the pleasure he was so desperately craving.

He'd imagined Rosie's mouth wrapped around him before. He liked to picture what it would feel like, what she would look like with her mouth stuffed full of him. But nothing compared to the feeling he was experiencing right there and then in that moment.

The way her tongue caressed the tip each time she pulled back before pushing him deep down her throat. The way her lips became swollen and tears welled in her eyes as she pushed her own limits, taking him right down until there was no more to give.

The lewd noises she made with each outward stroke, the sounds of her gasping for air and moaning around him melting his bones and brain. He was complete mush. If she simply swallowed all of him, his entire body, he wouldn't care. At least he'd die a happy and very satisfied man.

He was at her mercy.

She increased her speed, hands gripping into Sebastian's thighs and nails leaving perfectly shaped crescent moon dents in his soft skin as he hit the back of her throat again and again.

"God, fuck... I'm gonna..." Sebastian groaned out, head lulling back against the soft cushions behind him.

Rosie let out a muffled moan of her own as Sebastian's grip on her hair tightened, his hips bucking to meet her movements.

"N... no..." He mumbled through clenched teeth.

Rosie's eyes flickered open just in time to see Sebastian's own eyes snap open. Yanking on her hair and pulling her off his dick with a loud pop, saliva dripping from both her mouth and his cock.

"What? You were so close... why?" Rosie panted, sitting back on her knees and looking at him with furrowed eyebrows.

"I don't want to come yet. Not without being inside you first."

Rosie laughed, biting her tongue to not correct him and say that he was already inside her, but instead she smiled, wiping the drool from her mouth with her hand as he reached down and grabbed her by the arm, yanking her to her feet.

He pulled her closer to him and let his hands wander up her long skirt, fingers dancing up her stockings, then her bare thighs until he reached the top of her underwear, realising they were like nothing he'd seen or read about before. "Are these...?"

"From my time? Yep," She smirked, her hands coming to a rest on his shoulders, finally able to admire the artwork she'd left down his neck and throat that was beginning to turn a deep purple.

Sebastian moaned out something indiscernible and rushed to lift her skirt, burying his head underneath to explore the new undergarments. His fingers traced the skimpy, lacey, dark blue material, letting his hands wander behind her, squeezing and cupping the soft flesh of her arse cheeks, noticing only half of them were covered by the garment.

"Deep blue? Really?" Sebastian chuckled, his voice muffled by the skirt pooled around his head.

"Well, it is my favourite after all. I know how much you love me in deep blue. Not that god awful green," Rosie laughed, inhaling deeply as he moved one hand back to the front and began to press against her core, pushing the moist, soft material against her heat.

He brought his head back out from under her skirt, his hair a sweaty and dishevelled mess, cheeks coated in a soft blush that had Rosie wanting to jump his bones right there and then. But Sebastian kept her standing upright while he looked up at her from his seated position, smirking as he gently nudged the soaking wet underwear to the side, slipping a finger deep inside her.

Rosie gasped, her hands gripping his shoulders for support as she felt her knees buckle at his touch.

Sebastian smiled, bringing her closer to him, wrapping his free arm around her waist so he could rest his head against her stomach. He added another finger, feeling her abdomen clench against his cheek as he worked his fingers in and out of her, exploring the depths of her pulsing desire.

Rosie began to lose herself in pure ecstasy, arching her back and completely surrendering herself to Sebastian, pressing all her weight down onto him. But he was unbothered, his smirk permanently plastered across his face as he continued to push her, each stroke of his fingers driving her closer to the edge, her deep blue panties now completely soaked through.

As her legs began to quiver and he felt her walls tightening around him, he withdrew his fingers and sank back into the lounge, pulling her down with him.

"Not yet," He cooed into her mouth, kissing her deeply.

Rosie simply let out a pathetic whine and melted into Sebastian's mouth, her body craving more.

He let a hand wander back to her waist and unclasped the button holding up her skirt and she helped him out, shimmying the skirt down and kicking it to the side without breaking their mouth contact once.

When her fingers slipped to the skimpy underwear, Sebastian snatched her wrist, dragging it away. "No. Leave them on."

He let go of her and dug through his pants beside him, finding his wand and casting the spell he'd now mastered on her before grabbing a hold of his cock, dragging it up and down the moist material before sliding them to the side and parting her lips, gently pushing his hips upwards.

They both let out a synchronised moan as Rosie sank down, meeting his upwards thrust until he was fully seated in her.

Sebastian let his hands roam across her chest as she started to gently move on top of him, slowly rising on her knees before sinking down on him again. He forced open each button and shifted her blouse aside, realising she was wearing a matching bra. One that only covered the breasts like she'd explained to him once before.

"They're... even better than I imagined," He panted, watching her perfect breasts bounce with every movement. "I... wanna leave it on but..."

Rosie let out a small laugh between pants, guiding Sebastian's hands to her chest, sliding his hands beneath the matching bra.

Sebastian's fingers traced the contours and mounds of Rosie's breasts beneath the delicate fabric, relishing in the warmth and softness of her skin. The sensation of his large hands enveloping her sent shivers down her spine as she continued the rhythmic motions on top of him, feeling the coil he'd wound so tightly earlier beginning to tighten again.

"Fuck, don't stop!" Rosie cried out, pressing her hands against his chest, her fingertips curling into the soft skin.

"Oh, I wouldn't fucking dream of it, love." Sebastian grunted, thrusting his hips up to meet her movements while taking care to continue his gentle caress of her breasts, the explicit sounds of their romp filling the room. The lounge beneath them began to creak as their synchronised movements drove them closer and closer to the edge.

And with a few more powerful thrusts, Rosie's walls clenched around Sebastian, her body shaking and twitching above him as her nails dug hard into his shoulders.

Sebastian's own climax followed quickly, the squeeze of her around his cock becoming his undoing.

Her name rolled off his tongue followed by a filthy string of profanities as she continued rocking on him, taking each shoot of warm load within her.

"Fuck..." She panted, sinking her head into the nape of his neck to catch her breath, delicately kissing the tender spots she'd left on his neck. "I hope... you have... a scarf..."

"Rosie, it's Spring..." Sebastian said, finally letting his hand reach up and touch his neck.

It was tender.

"Is it bad?" He asked, turning to meet her gaze.

"Uh..."

"Primrose. How bad?"

"Look..." She said, finally having enough strength to climb off him, slipping her underwear back in place. "It's not... great..."

Sebastian groaned, though he wasn't truly mad. He'd never be mad at Rosie for showing him how passionate she was, how much she loved and how much she wanted to mark her place on him.

If it weren't so taboo, he'd wear the marks with pride.

Sebastian supposed he'd simply be doomed to a week of wearing a scarf despite the weather growing warmer by the day.

The room had transfigured itself in a way that resembled a complete home when Rosie approached it hours earlier, and Sebastian was suddenly grateful it was Rosie who'd won the race to the Room because it contained a bathroom, complete with a shower large enough for two and a spacious bath, both adorned with various soaps and romantic candles. Something his dumb male brain would have never thought of. And to really set the mood, a large fireplace sat in the corner, casting warm shadows across the tiled room.

"Come on, let's wash up." He directed her, scooping her up bridal style and placing her down on a stool in the bathroom to save the mess he'd left in her from dripping all over the floor.

He opted for a bath instead and drew the water, taking it upon himself to remember every romantic thing he could, conjuring some rose petals and scattering them in the bath with a similarly scented soap on standby.

Sebastian refused to let her walk, scooping her up once more and placing her delicately in the bath, pampering her like she deserved after such an effort.

"I can wash myself, you know..." Rosie said, though she sounded half-asleep as Sebastian pressed her back against his chest, running his fingers through the shampoo he'd lathered in her hair.

"I do," He said with a smile, "But, I want to do this. You worked hard. I want to thank you."

Rosie scoffed back a laugh. "Please don't thank me for having sex with you."

Sebastian chuckled, pressing soft kisses on her neck, delicately and not like the ones she had left on him. "I won't. But, I'll thank you for loving me how you do. I don't think I deserve it but I appreciate it deeply."

Rosie sighed, leaning back against Sebastian's chest. "You deserve more than what I can give you. You deserve everything you want and I'll continue to tell you that every day for the rest of your life if I have to. I love you, okay?"

"Okay," Sebastian sighed. "Come on, let's get this shampoo out so I can hold you to sleep."

He helped rinse out the rose-scented soap from her hair and body and wrapped her in a warm towel, refusing to let her feet touch the ground and carrying her to the bedroom next door.

Sebastian laid her down on the plush bed and pulled back the bed sheets, moving her towel and tucking her in so she was warm while he did the same, sliding in beside her and holding her close.

"I love you too." He whispered in her ear, caressing her hair until he knew she was in a deep and well-deserved sleep.

#hogwarts legacy fanfic #hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow

[xieyaohuan]

Writer Tag

Thank you for tagging me @blindmagdalena and @saintmathieublanc! ❤️

How many works do you have on AO3?

43, but many of them are one shots and one of them is a translation.

What's your total AO3 word count?

203,854.

Ca. 120,000 of those words were banged out in just a few months during a single manic episode in 2017.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Ravishing a God (which is still incomprehensible to me as tickle fics normally never get many kudos lol)

I've got you pegged (rushed fic and cringy title)

All a king should be (a collection of 47 drabbles of 100 word -- I want to do a drabble challenge like this again for Homewell or Butchlander)

All God's children took their toll (it's not been abandoned)

Under the Twisted Weirwood Tree (my only crossover fic; I really want to finish this one even though it's no longer my fandom)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I usually do unless it's hate (and sometimes even then)

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

This is a tough one because most of my A Song of Ice and Fire fic is angst lol. Probably Heart of Darkness? Maybe Joanna (despite the relatively 'happy' ending)? But it's a pretty stiff competition.

What’s the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I would say Spinster, which is still pretty angsty.

Do you write crossovers?

I've written only one, Under the Twisted Weirwood Tree, which sets A Song of Ice and Fire characters in a semi-modern AU based on The Purge. I really enjoyed the worldbuilding for this one!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. I gave the wrong name to a character, which REALLY upset at least one person. I think I responded to them in good faith the first time, and then the second time told them to kindly fuck off.

I also used to post my fic on ff.net, where people seem to consider yelling at the author a legitimate type of feedback, and I definitely got a lot of that, but I don't consider that hate since it's just how people on ff.net interact.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do, in all kinds of directions, but I don't think it's my forte lol.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think I might have had stuff reposted to websites I didn't know without credit, but it might have just been one of those mirror sites that didn't include all details??

Not to be cavalier about plagiarism, but my internal reports at work get stolen all the time, so with fic, I honestly don't care, since, unlike at work, I'm not actually losing any money. I think if someone took my fic, passed it off as their own, and then got famous with it, I might feel different about that, but that's never happened to me.

I plagiarized @deliciouskeys' title once (for The Dollhouse), but not intentionally because I'd been working on that fic for a while and didn't realize until after publishing the first chapter that my title had been taken.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I'm aware.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, I co-wrote a fic with a fandom friend over 20 years ago, but we ended up never publishing it. Haven't co-written any fic since then, and I don't think I'd enjoy it.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

I don't think I have one since that would require me to maintain an obsession over decades, which is not how my brain works.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

A bunch of fic I wrote for ASoIaF like Lions of the Realm and Fatherly Love. I won't to finish all my fic because I hate not to, but with these two, I'm pretty certain I never will. Probably a few others in that same category out there.

What are your writing strengths?

This doesn't really show in my current fandom, but I think I have some pretty unique ideas. I'm also willing to experiment and play around with concepts, which I generally consider a strength on the whole.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I lean towards GRRM's ways of telling a story, but without the skill of being able to pull it off (and to be fair, he's failing, too).

Also, I will say that writing in a language other than your native language will limit you in some pretty fundamental ways that can't be overcome, and that can be frustrating.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

The most I do is insert individual words and phrases, and I only do that for languages I actually speak.

I did write one fic in which several of my characters spoke with pretty heavy dialect, and if I were to rewrite that fic now, I would really tone that down.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Published: Lord of the Rings

Unpublished and without realizing what I was doing: Asterix and Cleopatra, probably

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I haven't written published any real Maevlander or real Starlander, and I definitely want to change that.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

Hard to say, but I really like Moonlight on her Face. I'm also rather attached to Ravishing a God, but I don't count that because for something to be a true favorite, it has to outlive my obsession.

I'm late to the party on this one and have lost track of who has already been tagged, so I'm not tagging anyone, but consider yourself tagged if you want to do this!

#tagging game #writer tag #fic #writing #about me

[mariana-oconnor]

A Case of Identity pt 2

For all the preposterous hat and the vacuous face, there was something noble in the simple faith of our visitor which compelled our respect.

Watson... you're kind of a judgy bitch sometimes, y'know? It's really coming through in this story. I don't know why all the modern adaptations choose to make Holmes the rude one when clearly Watson's the one you really need to watch out for.

"Quite an interesting study, that maiden," he observed. "I found her more interesting than her little problem, which, by the way, is rather a trite one.

I know that Mary Sutherland is a fictional character, but in a Watsonian reading, she's going to have to live in a world where people read all these descriptions of her and her problem. I should try to avoid thinking of that.

I can never bring you to realise the importance of sleeves, the suggestiveness of thumb-nails, or the great issues that may hang from a boot-lace.

Ah yes, thumbnails, the most suggestive of body parts. Be careful posting a picture of them on Tumblr, your post will be automatically flagged as mature content!

She had small round, hanging gold earrings, and a general air of being fairly well-to-do in a vulgar, comfortable, easy-going way.

Seriously, Watson, you're publishing this. Stop being a dick about it. We get it, you don't think much of her appearance. My dude.

"'Pon my word, Watson, you are coming along wonderfully. You have really done very well indeed. It is true that you have missed everything of importance, but you have hit upon the method, and you have a quick eye for color."

Aw, Holmes is proud. Albeit in the same way of a parent of a toddler presented with a picture of an unidentifiable blob made of different colours. 'Oh, what lovely colours, Watson. It's lovely. You're really coming along well!'

The double line a little above the wrist, where the typewritist presses against the table, was beautifully defined. The sewing-machine, of the hand type, leaves a similar mark, but only on the left arm, and on the side of it farthest from the thumb, instead of being right across the broadest part, as this was. I then glanced at her face, and, observing the dint of a pince-nez at either side of her nose, I ventured a remark upon short sight and typewriting, which seemed to surprise her.

Ah yes, the explanation. Sherlock showing off. But I do enjoy these bits.

though the boots which she was wearing were not unlike each other, they were really odd ones; the one having a slightly decorated toe-cap, and the other a plain one

I have actually done this before. I want through an entire day of work with odd boots on and only realised when I looked down at my feet on the train on the way home. The heels were pretty much the same size, and they were both black and zipped up, in my defence, but it was still pretty bad. That was about where the similarities ended. Very embarrassing and I still have no idea how I did it. I don't even know if anyone noticed, though. Certainly no one at work mentioned it. But were they just being polite?

Holmes would have a field day, I guess.

You observed that her right glove was torn at the forefinger, but you did not apparently see that both glove and finger were stained with violet ink.

And I thought you said he had a good eye for colour, Holmes? Were you lying? Were you just humouring him?

"My dear fellow, is it possible you do not see how strongly it bears upon the case?"

I'm pretty sure Watson is the only one at this point who does not know what's going on.

The only drawback is that there is no law, I fear, that can touch the scoundrel.

And as far as I'm aware, there still isn't. Technically, as they didn't get married, no crime was enacted. Her promise isn't legally binding. It's definitely abuse, but I don't think there are technically any laws broken as the subterfuge was performed not to get money, but to prevent them from no longer getting her money.

a bland, insinuating manner

Just the wording of this makes my skin crawl a bit. I think it's the word insinuating, a very snake-like word.

It was quite against my wishes that she came, but she is a very excitable, impulsive girl, as you may have noticed, and she is not easily controlled when she has made up her mind on a point.

Classic moves: discredit the character of the abuse victim. Oh, she's so excitable, so impulsive. You don't want to listen to her, it's all a flight of fancy, Mr Holmes. Such a silly woman.

"We do all our correspondence with this machine at the office, and no doubt it is a little worn," our visitor answered, glancing keenly at Holmes with his bright little eyes.

Laying the groundwork for reasonable doubt. This man is a piece of work. Also, Watson's judgy descriptions are working for me this time. So close to 'beady little eyes'.

Mr Windibank sprang out of his chair and picked up his hat. "I cannot waste time over this sort of fantastic talk, Mr Holmes," he said. "If you can catch the man, catch him, and let me know when you have done it."

Mr Windibank, sir. You know the jig is up. Give up already!

"Certainly," said Holmes, stepping over and turning the key in the door. "I let you know, then, that I have caught him!" "What! Where?" shouted Mr Windibank, turning white to his lips and glancing about him like a rat in a trap.

One thing that can be said for Mr Windibank is that he really does commit to the bit. I have zero respect for him as a human being, and honestly, it's absolutely destroying his dignity, but he is committed. He is seeing this through? Hosmer Angel? He has never met the man. No idea what you're talking about.

But between ourselves, Windibank, it was as cruel and selfish and heartless a trick in a petty way as ever came before me.

Yep. You can say that again.

Holmes stuck his feet up on the corner of the mantelpiece and, leaning back with his hands in his pockets, began talking, rather to himself, as it seemed, than to us.

He stuck his feet on the mantelpiece? Sir. That is too high up. Sir... How is that comfortable? The mantelpiece? Seriously Sherlock?

With the connivance and assistance of his wife he disguised himself

Ah, there it is. Her mother did know too. I actually dislike her mother more. Doing that to your daughter is just... ugh. Like yes, yes, evil stepfather was the mastermind and main agent of the enterprise, but to assist in it. With your own daughter. Ugh ugh ugh. That's despicable. I hope Mary cuts her off forever.

"The law cannot, as you say, touch you," said Holmes, unlocking and throwing open the door, "yet there never was a man who deserved punishment more. If the young lady has a brother or a friend, he ought to lay a whip across your shoulders. By Jove!" he continued, flushing up at the sight of the bitter sneer upon the man's face, "it is not part of my duties to my client, but here's a hunting crop handy, and I think I shall just treat myself to—"

This is very satisfying to read. Also grateful that Holmes agrees with me on this point. Although I think Mary should be allowed a whip... as a treat.

"That fellow will rise from crime to crime until he does something very bad, and ends on a gallows."

I like how certain Holmes is that Windibank isn't going to be a better person.

Then the fact that the two men were never together, but that the one always appeared when the other was away, was suggestive.

Just like thumbnails.

"And Miss Sutherland?"

"If I tell her she will not believe me. You may remember the old Persian saying, 'There is danger for him who taketh the tiger cub, and danger also for whoso snatches a delusion from a woman.' There is as much sense in Hafiz as in Horace, and as much knowledge of the world."

This is not satisfying. I remembered the solution to the problem, but I didn't remember that he just got away with it. Mary's just going to... do exactly what Windibank wanted? And keep living with her odious mother and her abusive stepfather? I do not vibe with this. I do not vibe with this at all. Not even a note from Watson to say that Windibank did indeed hang from the gallows for a future crime and Mary Sutherland got away?

I find myself longing for the equinoctial gales to drop a ship on his house (when Mary is elsewhere).

Horrible people committing horrible, immoral acts that cannot be stopped. This whole story is like a layer of scum on top of water, it's such insidious, cold-hearted petty evil. Mary Sutherland deserves better.

Honestly, I hope she (in universe) did read this story and gtfo.

#Letters from Watson #A Case of Identity #Sherlock Holmes #Mary Sutherland deserved better

[just-kit-ink]

I have an actual idea for a possible story for Shiny and the weasels! I mean like something that could be a multi chapter fanfic?? I'll never get around to it, I know. But I still wanted to tell you about it since I think you might like it ^^

Somehow, the weasels are brought back to life, sans Smartass since he needs to be drawn again (I'm still figuring this out, though). But it's the 70's-80's, now. Toontown is so different, and the boys stick out like sore thumbs. They all run into Shiny while she's on the run from the police. I'm debating whether or not the five of them all manage to run away, or they all get brought to the station. I'm leaning more towards the latter, though, since Shiny actually recognizes them all and can see they are struggling with adjusting to modern Toontown, and offers her assistance in exchange for theirs (with what, I'm not sure. By now, Shiny has mostly moved on from the burlesque life and is mainly a home brewer who dabbles in various crimes. Maybe she tells them she needs help covering her tracks, or she wants to get out of Toontown. I'm debating it 😅).

I'm kind of imagining the exchange happening similarly to Chel and Miguel and Tulio from The Road to El Dorado (which is kind of fitting, since I recently rewatched the movie and it was what inspired me this plot XD)

Greasy, absolutely not checking Shiny out while regarding her with suspicion: And why should we help you, eh?

Stupid: But why not? She's trying to help us!

Wheezy: Not for free, though...

Shiny: Ah, you're right. Why should you? I mean, after all. You all definitely know what's been happening in Toontown, all the three decades you all have been dead.

Greasy: =_=

Shiny: You are all very much aware of all the secrets these toons, old and new, have. You already know the new laws that have been laid out...

Weasels: *glancing to each other*

Shiny: Oh! And we can't forget your designs!! You don't at all need to know how to adjust them to fit in with the times? Of course not. Especially not from me, who's been at this since the 30's-

Greasy: !?!? There is nothing wrong with my style!-

Shiny: So you don't need my help? To keep the pigs off your tails while you figure out how to bring your boss back? I'm certain they'll be so understanding with you boys trying to dip the whole town-

Greasy, waving his hands to get her to shut up before the guards overhear: Alright! Alright, we can negotiate, hermosa...

Yeah, this idea is still half baked. But I'm thinking that for a sequal fic with Griny, this is how they get together. I also have a scene in my head where, after they start to get closer, Shiny and Greasy sit down together with a box of photos she has from her whole life. Some of them just places Shiny wanted to remember, some of them with her coworkers who have all gone on to do their own thing. Some of the photos just Shiny all on her own... And in the middle of this, while looking at some photos of Shiny in her club days, Greasy wonders aloud how he never heard of such a beauty when he was alive. And Shiny just shrugs, saying how they probably did see each other. He's a hound, and she worked in the profession that Greasy would have dumped his money in the most; he most like was one of her clients at some point, "But neither of us cared enough to actually see each other. Not like how we do now." Just a very deep moment between them both that shows each other how they think and how far they've come.

//This is adorable! I'm seeing Shiny meet up with the boys in like, a jail cell and her reaching through the bars juuust slightly to persuade Greasy and grind him down. And them being in the 1980s is a yes from me as you know 😆 40 years on, how things have changed, how they will continue to change etc.

As for Smartass being brought back to life I did read a fic once where the weasels got his old model sheets and found a photo copier that worked like a reanimator and brought him back that way and he's conpletely disorientated but soon his memory starts to jog. I'd be curious to see just how much he remembers from their old job and fighting Eddie Valiant. And of course, Greasy finally getting a woman who can keep him under her thumb understand him! 😂

#marinerainbow #who framed roger rabbit #toon patrol #shiny weasel #greasy weasel #smartass weasel

[burnersideblogjustincase-ies]

MY TIME HAS COME. IVE BEEN HERE TOO LONG AND SEEN TOO MUCH. Most of the hate I see Jess and Jason get publicly is for bad writing choices, but. Uh. THINGS RUN MUCH DEEPER THAN THAT! Here's a big compilation, of both serious and less serious things, that people have gripes with Jess and Jason for.

Disclaimer: A lot of this stuff is sourced from twitter, which I do not use. I am a MCD fan and have been here since MCD Season 1, I also am not a Mystreet/modern content fan. There could be stuff/context I'm missing for some things. I'm trying to keep this post to stuff I can provide links/sources for, in order to prevent that.

Tw for discussions of homophobia, racism, abusive workplace, uncomfortable IRL age-gaps, fatphobia, and depictions of abuse and incest. This post is long, be warned.

Homophobia:

Jessica is a fetishist of gay/mlm relationships. I feel this is pretty visible through her actions as a whole, but in case you don't believe me, here's her tweeting about being a Septiplier fan.

(Ship between Jacksepticeye and Markiplier. Yes. She really tweeted this. https://twitter.com/_Aphmau_/status/748004225305677828)

And this.

And the video she did where she publicly supported the "ship" of her IRL employees/coworkers (Mithzan and YourPalRoss), which she then publicly reblogged a clip of to her tumblr here: https://www.tumblr.com/aphmau/142601660059/mithross-ahaha-thank-you-so-much-for-this

AND back when they did fanfic readings/reenactments on the channel, one of these videos was devoted to Septiplier.

(This video has since been privated, but you can see someone's... uh.... ""reaction video"" to it? Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jodpDmeqES0)

Yeah.

This fetishization does leak into the content Jessica creates. Jason himself has confirmed that the way Jess wrote Laurance and Garroth was intentionally written as queerbait.

The person he was replying to is no longer visible, but the tweets are still up here: (https://twitter.com/jasonbravura/status/802295131218984960)

Racism:

Yeah so remember how Jason said that they'd never have someone on the team make the skintones of characters to be lighter. Remember how he said that in those tweets above. Yeah well they did that they absolutely did that. They do it in the official poster merch, in the official music videos, thumbnails, and in the skins/ingame footage as well.

(Lots of the in-game whitewashing seems to be a side-effect of the shaders they are using, as they overexpose the footage and make everything lighter as a result. The difference in skintones is glaringly obvious, and definitely would've been tackled by the team by now if they cared about whitewashing as an issue.)

It took until Season 3 of MCD to have a single black character purposefully placed into the show. He had potential to be more than a side character, but the show was cancelled soon after his introduction. As far as I'm aware, Teony is still the only black character in all of Mystreet/Phoenix Drop High. She is a side character who is not included in the minigames or other modern content. Unless I'm misremembering, she doesn't appear in Mystreet in anything beyond Season 2.

Let's talk about Nana Ashida now. Or as she was known as up until late parts of Mystreet, "Kawaii-Chan." Good news! Jessica and crew realized that having an anime-obsessed neko-girl who works at a maid cafe and loves "shipping" and all things "Kawaii" was offensive, and changed her name as a result. Bad news! They confirmed this character to have Japanese heritage through changing her name, further enforcing every single stereotype she carried and more!

(Though it's not as if there was a very good out for this aside from acknowledging the stereotype, tearing out everything about her character, and rebuilding her from the ground up. Either you make your Japan stereotype Japanese, confirming she's a walking stereotype, or you make your Japan stereotype a white girl, and confirm that she the character is stereotyping Japanese people. Either way, they wrote an offensive stereotype and refuse to fix it, because the stereotype is intrinsically tied to her character, and all that is supposed to be appealing and likable about it.)

Fatphobia:

I don't even know what to say. Here is a roleplay video from 2018, where the sideplot is that Aphmau eats too many hamburgers, causing her to hiss at fruits and vegetables like a feral cat. She goes for a jog with aaron, where she fails miserably until being deceived that there is a... "wild hamburger" in the bushes. The video ends with her bursting into tears over turning down a cookie. Eating and food humor are common in this era of video from the Aphmau channel, and these topics are never handled well.

(https://youtu.be/PnOCMK1i-hQ)

Basically every character who is implied to like food (aside from Nana/Kawaii-Chan, because of course a Japanese stereotype Cutesy Icon™ can't be fat, because being fat is not appealing in the eyes of the writers) is implied to also be both unhealthy and overweight. Three out of Four of the trivia bullet-points for Betty (FCU character) are about her love of food, because she genuinely has no other memorable traits. If I have to tell you what is wrong with this, I can't help you.

(https://aphmau.fandom.com/wiki/Betty_(MyStreet))

Abusive Workplace Allegations:

Back while it was still known as BluJay, Catface Studios was reportedly not a good place to work. Here are some twitter testimonies from ex-employees, ranging from things such as PTSD, to possible legal threats for speaking out about working conditions/experiences. (Some of the text is very small, click through to read better.)

A lot of these tweets are, at this point, deleted. Especially the more negative/accusatory ones. Some of them can still be found online, search for them if you're curious.

(And context for people unaware, _Castr_ aka Castor is the same person as The Chicken Shaman in MCD. He used to work on/be a part of a lot of Jess' old content, and was a writer on various projects for her for a VERY long time. I believe he was involved in the writing of MCD since Season 1, but if anyone has a source on that so I know I'm not misremembering, feel free to let me know. His sudden release was VERY shocking to me personally, seeing as how long he's been a part of Jess and Jason's work.)

Jess and Jason have also pretty iconically had beef with Sebastian Todd, the voice of Laurance. This beef is why Laurance rarely appears in videos, and was written out of Mystreet. I personally don't really care for either of the involved parties, but here's what Mithzan has to say about Sebastian:

Child Labor (???):

I literally don't know how else to describe it. This tweet (and linked google doc) from 2015 is the source of this one:

(This tweet is still up and available at this link by the way: https://twitter.com/_Aphmau_/status/661051379234922497) The bit.ly link (http://bit.ly/1Q10LEA) leads to a google doc (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yPd1dsY99sOwIl_fITmUryfH4s00zVgiSuwodfcNiK8/edit) describing what a body actor is and where to apply to work as one for Jess. In case you don't feel like clicking links, here's just the "terms and conditions" and all listed requirements:

Yep, that's right, kids as young as 13 were encouraged to apply for this! Or even 12, if your birthday was close enough to the application date. Though it mentions "promotion", there is no payment mentioned or listed anywhere on the document. Presumably promotion is referring to asking for more important jobs, such as writers or voice actors, though I don't know for certain. Despite the mention of "credit given to you as the body actor" I do not remember seeing body actors ever credited on Aphmau videos of this era. (If I'm wrong, feel free to correct me, but I checked a couple MCD S2 episodes that came out a couple months after this, and could only ever find VAs credited.)

I don't know how young anyone who applied or was accepted was, and I don't know what their working conditions were like. I personally doubt anyone accepted was paid for their time at all, though I have nothing to back that up.

(Also, I don't know if that email is still active. And don't plan on testing it. I'd encourage not sending anything, just in case.)

Aggression towards fans:

This is more a point towards Jason specifically, but multiple times he has spoken out very... I don't even know how to phrase it. Agitatedly? Blame-y? Against fans on twitter for seemingly minimal or nonissues.

These are some of my "favorites," and by favorites I mean "I cannot believe a grown man actually said these things to young fans on twitter, for the crime of... wanting to see more non-Aarmau ships with Aphmau ???"

(These tweets are ALSO still up: https://twitter.com/JasonBravura/status/866345911571562496)

I'm sorry, but "whoring Aphmau's character out" is an INSANE thing to say about your literal actual IRL wife.

(Also he went real jokercore this one time I still cannot believe this is real.)

This is less of a serious accusation in comparison to some of the others, but looking at it with the following in mind makes an interesting picture:

Jess and Jason's Relationship:

Hate that I have to make this a bullet point given how fetishistic and weird people online are about celebrities/internet personalities' IRL relationships, but unfortunately this is necessary. The summary is, Aphmau and Aaron's 4 year age gap (Freshman and Senior in highschool) displayed in Phoenix Drop High is based on Jessica and Jason's real life relationship. Here's a better post breaking this down: https://www.tumblr.com/dantes-gf/648264700307668992/jess-and-jason-a-disturbing-dating-history

As of making this post, I believe Jessica's IRL age is 33 and Jason's IRL age is 37. They met before Jessica was 18, seeing as she moved in with him when she turned 18, as stated by Jessica herself in her Draw My Life video. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekOog6xKDMQ)

TLDR: Assuming the timeframe displayed in PDH is correct, their IRL ages suggest that Jessica was 14 and Jason was 18 when they started dating. This age gap is disturbing for obvious reasons.

Some fans have also found Jason controlling for things like this:

(I don't feel right commenting on this given the whole "This Is An IRL Relationship I Am Not A Part Of, And Thus Will Never Have As Much Insight Into As The People Who Are In It" thing, but here it is regardless. You can make your own judgements on it if you wish.)

Irresponsible Depictions of Abuse/Incest:

Ein is a character. He's certainly a character. If you don't know who he is, he appeared in Mystreet and Phoenix Drop High as a villain who wanted to romantically abuse and manipulate Aphmau. In some cases he succeeded. Towards the end of Mystreet Season 6, he was revealed to be Aphmau's sister. In contrast to his villainous persona in the main-story content, he appeared as friendly, teasing and even flirtatious in the mini-game and non-canon content. Many fans were upset to see him treated as a friendly member of the cast, instead of as the incestual abuser he is in canon.

Around mid-late 2018, many fans on tumblr were vocal about how they found Ein's story and character handled to be upsetting and uncomfortable. A voice actor for the channel (condescendingly) responded that depictions of bad things do not necessarily mean the writer is bad. This post was then reblogged by Aphmau's official tumblr account, without any commentary.(https://www.tumblr.com/aphmau/179882946599/hey-so)

Obviously writing about problematic things does not make you a bad person. You cannot have a story without conflict. What is concerning is writing about this content irresponsibly. Many fans around this time failed to understand that Ein should not be shipped romantically with Aphmau. This behavior was most alarmingly seen by (younger) fans who looked to the out-of-character minigame content of Ein for how he should be treated, and began shipping Aphmau and Ein without understanding the full force of their actions.

(Tumblr) Fans were then concerned about the responsibility involved in displaying this kind of content uncritically to younger audiences, especially since this time was when the mini-game videos became very clearly more aimed towards younger kids. This was Jessica's response, posted on tumblr: (https://www.tumblr.com/aphmau/179945128104/the-audience-of-my-channel)

It touches on the topic, but falsely identifies the main concern of fan backlash of mini-game and overall channel content becoming kid-friendly, instead of the real concern of irresponsibly exposing children to """friendly""" depictions of incest and abuse.

Making funny, silly content of abusers does not successfully condemn an abuser's actions. Making funny, silly content of an incestual relationship does not convey to the audience that the writer sees these actions as wrong. Without knowing that these text posts exist, the average fan would likely never even know they supposedly saw these things as an issue.

Not only has Catface never apologized for this, they later tried to retcon it out of existence:

This post sums it up pretty well. (https://www.tumblr.com/dantedeservedbetter/655931596641353728/oops-this-rant-was-longer-than-i-expected-but)

TLDR: Jessica/Catface has acknowledged that Ein was written to be Aphmau's sister multiple times, including a mini-game video in 2019 that directly referred to them as siblings in the title and thumbnail.

At some point after this comment was made, they changed the video title to be consistent with the "red herring" statement.

To spell it out, after defending their irresponsible portrayal of this abusive and incestual character for years, Catface quietly pretended like it was never an issue and erased all references to his sibling status, so that they did not have to keep trying to explain themselves or apologize.

If you need more proof, check out this tumblr post below where Jessica does not contest Ein's sibling status, which is directly mentioned and discussed in the ask prior! If it really was a red herring, then go on Jessica! Why not correct it here, when the sibling discussion is causing issues all the way back in 2018? That you yourself took credit for writing IN THIS POST! https://www.tumblr.com/aphmau/179877266199/i-think-jasons-a-really-good-guy-but-im-never

I think it's very clear why nothing about this was ever corrected earlier, and it's because they saw it as nothing needing correction. There is no red herring. Just a poorly-handled retcon.

Many characters are given this treatment in canon, where their poor writing was later friendly-ified or excused for little to no reason:

The treatment and attempted "redemption" of Derek, Aaron's abusive father in Phoenix Drop High/Mystreet, is another clear example of this poorly thought-out behavior.

As well as Travis and Katelyn's abusive relationship, which is initially handled seriously, then comically, then swept aside altogether.

As well as Ghost, the undead form of Emmalyn from Minecraft Diaries, who repeatedly forces herself upon Mystreet Zane, because she has confused Mystreet Zane and Minecraft Diaries Zane, and for some reason has also confused Minecraft Diaries Zane, the man who killed her husband... With her husband. Makes sense /s.

As well as.... whatever the hell is going on with Aphmau and Aaron's relationship in Mystreet altogether. Remember that time in Season 4 when Aphmau threw a rock at Aaron after he just got done freezing to death or whatever, because the person that helped him not die... was a girl...... ?????? and she was...... jealous ??????????? so she tried to hit him with a rock??????????????????? was this supposed to be cute??????????????????????????????????

Okay now here's the less serious stuff. Reasons people dont like Jessica and Jason beyond the horrible stuff.

Because the original asker was just asking why people are mad at Jess and Jason, and despite all of the above being very prevalent I mainly see people angry at them for the following:

Bad writing. It comes from both Jess and Jason. Stuff that isn't bad because it's offensive, but because it's just plain bad. In all produced rps, they frequently forget their own lore, characterizations, and write things that just plain make no sense. A lot of people get frustrated with that, understandably.

Stringing fans along. New MCD/Mystreet/Roleplay content is continuously promised and not followed up on. Seasons/series are left unfinished without warning, or rushed to completion in order to throw them in the bin and stop having to write them. Lots of fans have grown tired of hoping for new content for the things they originally followed for. The Aphmau Fantasy Stories channel is inactive for a reason.

Related to above, she mostly just does clickbait-cocomelon-styled videos targeted towards very young children now, which frustrates a lot of old or returning fans looking for more serious content.

Also related to above, retiring or benching main/beloved characters for seemingly no reason. This is most demonstrated by Laurance, but can also be seen in characters like Garroth, Daniel, Lucinda, and Vylad. (One commonality seems to be that this "benching" frequently happens when there are difficulties with employing the voice actor.)

Shipping. Yeah Aarmau is basically the only Aphmau ship featured anymore in all her content, and has been for a while. So people who don't ship that often don't like Jessica, Jason, or their modern content, since the characters are their self-inserts and it's basically their fault.

Content stealing. A lot of her work references other established works, such as making the wyvern dragon language in Minecraft Diaries just being the dragon shout language from Skyrim, taking the titles and sometimes names of the Divine Warriors from mythical figures featured in Final Fantasy, or, most egregiously, stealing the entire Mystreet Season 6 Finale from Fullmetal Alchemist. Yes, they really did do that. In my opinion, some of these seem like simple references to media she enjoys, while some of these (looking at you Mystreet Finale) just feel lazy at best and incredibly deceitful at worst.

The baby voices. All the VAs, including Aphmau, pitch their voices up to sound cartoony now. It's grating.

Jess learned the word "himbo" and now it is Garroth's only personality trait. It's grating.

The Fucklist, or sometimes referred to as The List, is a list Jessica made and posted on her tumblr of characters who, in a less child-friendly version of MCD, would have fucked. The sentence alone is upsetting enough. It's upsetting to read as well. And she didn't even include the canonical Aphmau and Aaron fucking, because it was spoilers at the time. Maybe this doesn't belong here, I don't know if this is the One Reason why a fan has turned on her. But it's probably been the straw that broke some poor camel's back out there.

Some Mystreet fans don't enjoy the more lore-heavy later seasons, and prefer the sillier slice-of-life first couple seasons that the series was originally written with the intention of following.

Similarly to above, some Mystreet fans don't enjoy the MCD crossover lore added late in Mystreet Season 6. Some MCD fans don't enjoy that the series now crosses over with Mystreet.

And more im probably not thinking of at the moment.

You cannot unlearn what you have learned here today.

Sorry.

#jessica bravura #jason bravura #long post #queerbaiting #queerbait #qlsur #racism #racism tw #fatphobia #fatphobia tw #abuse tw #incest tw #age gap tw #all images should have embedded image descriptions. let me know if one is missing and i will fix it.

[chaos-coming]

I'm annoyed and have been stewing in these thoughts for a few weeks, it's time to get it off my chest.

Despite their enthusiasm, i think i will not he working with the local marxist group here after all. Ive met with them a few times and honestly they fall into all of the classic shortcomings of white european leftist groups.

This group of upper middle class white swedes seem really and truly convinced that they will be the leaders of the great global revolution. They openly told me the first time we met that they are studying the literature to train the future leaders of the movement (the ego is just...wow). Dogmatic and enthusiastic, yes, but aware of the global currents happening right now, no. They dont see that capitalism is reliant on imperialism, and the idea that they might not be center stage when the workers of the world (most of whom live in the global south) rise up has never crossed their minds. They say they only want members who are serious and committed to the cause, but it really looks like they just want to create an echo chamber to boost their egos.

They think that boycotts and direct action are meaningless, as if disrupting the capitalist war machine is antithetical to their "great revolution". They use protests and demonstrations as opportunities for recruitment and to prosthelytize about reading theory. I watched them stand in front of a group of mostly migrants and refugees from syria, iran, palestine, and talk at them about the situation as if everyone showing up to a demonstration organization meeting wasnt already aware. As if refugees with family in the region wanted to hear this blond guy with a mustache posturing for Woke Points(tm) and say nothing constructive, dominate the conversation and ignore suggestions for action from people who have lived through the imperialist wars in SWANA.

Besides going to marxist conferences aka paid field trips, these people dont talk about any action if it's not directly about the great revolution and recruiting more communists, and place way too much emphasis on reading "the classics" (dont get me wrong reading theory is useful but its not the end all be all they think it is). And they dont read literary response/criticism to the classical theory, or modern interpretations, it's not "pure" enough. Theyre not just reading it for theory either, theyre literally and uncritically looking to 100 year old descriptions of society for instructions and methods for creating a revolution in the current day - descriptions which do not acknowledge climate change or indigenous sovereignty or the hyperconnected global economic system we live under - with no critical thought to how it must be adapted to the current epoch (i watched them shoot down all suggestions for organizing online and on social media, or provocative visual demonstrations, insisting that the only and best way to spread awareness is to stand in the hallways and pass out fliers to passersby like its still 1980 and sweden isnt already a paperless cashless society).

I made a comment about how soviet agriculture in west asia wasnt sustainable and got blank or disappointed faces in response. Which leads me to suspect that they idolize the ussr and have no intention to look at non european perspectives. I even tried to bring up the fact that we are currently on occupied sami land, sweden still has a literal actual monarch, living off of taxes and the imperial conquest of the sami people and neighboring countries. It got quiet, they did not want to have that conversation, they dont care beyond lip service about the rights of the indigenous people in their backyards (literally, theyre camped outside the city with their reindeer right now). Getting rid of the monarchy is not a priority, the concept of a monarch in the 21st century is not offensive or antithetical to their beliefs because the "great revolution" will take care of it anyway. Theyre not interested in actions, anything short of their fantasy of a total revolution is meaningless to them. These self proclaimed leaders of the revolution arent even interested in leading a push for an end to the monarchy which takes the workers' taxes to uphold an imperialistic remnant.

Like its basically a pay to play book club, theyre super insistent on the member fee being 10% of your income (even if you have no income you still pay) and it needs to be paid to participate in any of their group meetings etc. Like i get that they have a newspaper and printing press and a full time newspaper employee to pay for, but how is that not capitalistic? How is it not a class barrier, and especially when non-european students have to pay 5 figure tuition costs and they get to go to uni for free. The fact that their group is entirely 100% white and almost all swedes says volumes. And the fact that the palestine organizers have stsrted to schedule their meetings at the same time as the marxist group regularly does, almost like they dont want to work with these white guys who are trying to control the local solidarity movement.

When all you do is sit around reading literature and patting yourselves on the back for being special, when you look a refugee in the face and talk about revolution like theyre not the ones who have literally lived through it, when you are completely uninterested in taking action to fight imperialism in your own country, when you staunchly refuse to get with the times, why are you surprised nobody wants the 'revolution' youre offering them.

#im not so surprised but i am frustrated that the local marxist group is like this #but with how groups in the uk and on the continent are i expected just a tiny bit of awareness from these guys #i guess we are too isolated up here and sweden is just too comfortable for the white people to wake up #but at the literal colonial frontier with sami people sitting outside the city i thought maybe the leftist groups would be talking about it #but as usual white europeans have a large ego blocking their vision #theyre happy to criticize the rest of the world and even other eurooean countries #but ask them to make a change in theirs? good luck #honestly ive been thinking that living in europe isnt for me in the long term. this is not where the progress is happening #europe north of the alps hasnt felt the effect of climate change and theyre just so detached and complacent #you cannot push these people into meaningful action they just dont understand how the world is anymore #im going to stay for another 18 months to finish my degree but im starting to feel really limited by the conservative worldview here #even among the so called left

[petitelepus]

Big Blind Love, Part 4

Teacher!Gyomei Himejima X Fem!Student!Reader

Summary: Lunchtime on the roof? Yes, please!

Warnings: None

A/N: Modern!AU, Kimetsu Academy, Female Reader, Student Reader, Gyomei Himejima, Teacher Gyomei Himejima

PART 1 II PART 2 II PART 3 II PART 4 II PART 5 II PART 6 II PART 7 II PART 8 II PART 9 II PART 10 II PART 11 II PART 12 II PART 13

Lunchtime came and Gyomei left the classroom so he could eat his lunch in peace… But only once he had left, you also exited the room full of students and quickly ran after your huge teacher and even bigger love interest.

"Wh- where would you like to eat, sir?" You asked as you walked to your blind teacher, following him like a lost or happy puppy.

"Would you mind if we ate on the rooftop?" He asked but you were confused, "But… Isn't it enclosed?"

"I have keys there. It's most likely the best place where we will have some privacy and no one will disturb us." Gyomei explained and you were awed by how smart and nice he was… But you also blushed at the idea of you two being alone.

The two of you made your way to the staircases and climbed them up until you came to the locked door. You made way and your teacher opened the door and the two of you stepped outside.

"Oh, wow…!" You gasped as you looked around. You had never actually gone to the roof since it used to be really crowded there, but now there were only you and Gyomei.

You could see the whole school grounds from up there and the gorgeous cherry trees that were in full blossom. Spring was truly beautiful.

"Young lady?" Gyomei called your name and you blinked as you turned to look at him as he took a seat in the middle of the roof, "Would you like to join me?"

"Y- yes, sir!" You stuttered as you rushed to sit next to him and the two of you took out your lunches. You immediately took notice of just how big your teacher's lunch was but it only made sense since he was a huge man, he needed a lot to eat.

The two of you ate peacefully and once all the food was gone, you brought out the dessert.

"I know you didn't want me to make anything for you today…" You smiled a little as you pulled a familiar box out of your bag and offered it to a huge man, "But I did make you something small."

"What may it be?" Gyomei asked as he accepted the box and opened it. Either it was so windy that he couldn't pick any scent or you had made something that didn't have such a strong scent as your chocolate treats had.

"I made meringue. I hope you like it." You replied with a smile and Gyomei gently picked one of the fragile desserts and took a bite. The outer layer was thin and crunchy, but the inside was sweet and extremely sticky. He took his time as he chewed it and you stared at him, excited to hear how he would like them.

"They are absolutely delicious," Gyomei finally nodded and you smiled like a thousand suns, "Oh thank God, that makes me so happy!"

"But I must ask… Why do you keep making me things?" He asked, much to your confusion.

"Don't you like them?" You asked and Gyomei could almost hear how your heart ached. He quickly shook his head, "No, I do like them, but you don't have to try and buy my affection with cupcakes, cookies, or other sweets."

"It's just… I just… Want to show you that I would be a good girlfriend to you…" You swallowed as determination filled you, "That I'm willing to cook, clean, do laundry, and do so much more for you!"

"Young lady, you don't need to do all that." Gyomei said as he looked in your direction, "We live in the modern world where women can be much more than just housewives or-!"

"I know, I really do, but I still want to impress you!" You cried out as you were getting frustrated by your own feelings for him, "I want you to know that I can and that I want to take care of you!"

"But-!"

"Please! It's the least I can do for you after everything you've ever done to me."

"But I haven't done anything," He said as he frowned but you just kept smiling, "Well, nothing you are aware of, but it's the little things that matter."

"I see…" Gyomei nodded and turned to look at you, "And you are going to confess to me again in a couple of days?"

"Yes," You nodded and he frowned, "And what happens if I reject you?"

"I take the hint and leave you be." You replied and the teacher could hear from your voice that you were being genuine, "I won't be a student here anymore after the ceremony on Friday so I have no reason to return here."

"That is true…"

"You know… I wanted to confess to you earlier." You confessed, much to Gyomei's surprise, "Oh?"

"Yeah… But I was way too young and I knew we couldn't be together because I was a student and you a teacher."

"How long ago was this? Two weeks ago?" He asked and you grinned, "More like two years ago."

"Two-!" He was totally taken aback by your confession. You giggled, "Yeah… You were the only one who was ever kind to me when I moved here… So I fell for you hard."

"Oh, how long you have been suffering with these feelings…" Gyomei murmured as tears rose to his eyes and fell down his face, "For you to long after something for such a long time…"

"Please don't cry, sir!" You laughed a little, "You have no reason to cry! And even if you reject me on Friday it will be okay. Your feelings come first and I can't force mine on you. It wouldn't be true love otherwise."

But you weren't forcing anything on him… Gyomei frowned as he wanted to speak, but the school bells chimed, signaling that the lunch break was ending and classes were continuing again.

"I better head back first so people don't see you together with me. I don't want you to end up in trouble." You said and oh how hurtful that sounded. Gyomei wanted to object and tell you that there was no shame in being seen with you, but you were already gone before he could say a word.

He noticed that you had left him the box filled with sweets. He carefully put it away, got up, and left the rooftop. Classes were starting and it would be weird for him to be late.

#kimestu no yaiba #kimetsu academy #demon slayer #modern!AU #gyomei himejima #reader #reader insert #writing #my writing #story #my story #fem!reader #EnjoY! #student x teacher

[ihatetaxes99]

The Digit-Al Rant (Because I am insane)

 Well, since I'm a Lovecraftian being who feeds off of ranting about things literally nobody else cares about, tonight I'm going to go for broke and make my most obscure rant yet. A rant about a certain character. Not just any character, mind you; A character that hasn't been relevant in over a decade and arguably, wasn't even relevant back when he was still being used. In spite of this, the character still holds a special spot in my weird, black heart.

 We all know corporate mascots. Cute little characters designed to entice you towards forgetting that the company they represent burned down a factory with eight hundred children inside for insurance, and buy their products again. We've had a lot of mascots over the years. Super Mario, Tony the Tiger, some others that I can't be bothered to recall right now. Mascots are a staple of modern culture. And in 2006, the UK government, and particularly the BBC, was facing a crisis that only a cuddly little mascot could solve.

 They had to… Convince boomers to make a minor change in their lives. This is where you can place the Dracula sting in your head.

 Yes, how many of you have heard of digital switchover? How many of you care about digital switchover? Well, come the mid-2000s, it had become clear to the British government that the old analogue television was not really going to cut it anymore, now that those dastardly Yanks were making films and television series with high-quality equipment. Analogue was quickly becoming outdated and they needed to make the switch to the far faster digital switchover sooner rather than later.

 And so, began the creatively titled UK Digital Switchover scheme. The plan was thus: From 2008 until 2012, the entirety of Britain would undergo a switch to digital television. This meant higher quality images, 1080p, support for modern TVs, things of that nature. During that time, they needed to make the general public aware of this, lest riots break out over Coronation Street being interrupted by the switchover. So they initiated their campaign as early as 2006. And at the head of it was the mascot of the event, one Digit Al (geddit?)

 Digit Al was a little robot fella, who initially had glowing blue eyes, although this was altered in later promotional material to remove the glow. His very first outing was a very charming little commercial where Al would interrupt the show that was on at the time, directly addressing the viewer and informing them of the Switchover. In this appearance, he was voiced by comedian Matt Lucas, who gave a certain awkward charm to Al, making him a bit of a klutz, albeit an incredibly friendly one. Lucas would voice Al in at least two more adverts.

 However, after these three ads, things would change. Around the time that Al's eye glow was removed, Lucas stopped voicing the character; In fact, Al would never again, for the duration of the campaign, speak. He was relegated to a background character while the narration was provided by some random fella doing a voiceover. As the Switchover went underway, Al would be used less and less, as promotion moved from informing the public of its existence towards explaining how to set up your television for the switch. From 2008 to 2011, Al's roles were sparse.

 Until, interestingly, 2012, the very end of the Switchover. By that point, Wales, England and Scotland had fully switched over. And this left just one nation in the UK that was yet to do so. The ugly little brother of the group that no one really likes and, coincidentally, my own home country. Northern Ireland. By October of 2012, NI would be the last British nation to still have analogue television, as the stations had been shut down entirely everywhere else. And then, in October, the sword fell. From the tenth to the twenty-third, the Switchover began. And this is when Al made one last appearance.

 On the closure of both BBC 1 NI Analogue and BBC 2 NI Analogue, Al appeared on the final message screen and, in the case of the former, made a brief cameo in plushie form in the final seconds of analogue television's existence in Britain. One last goodbye to nearly forty-nine years of British television. 

 So, why did he suddenly come back for Northern Ireland of all places? Was he an ardent Unionist? Well, I can't actually find any reason behind this. Each channel was basically allowed to do whatever they wanted, with some giving cute little goodbye messages and others cutting to static in the middle of a news broadcast about dead bodies being found (I am not joking, by the way. Imagine that being the last thing you see before your telly cuts out). If I had to make a wild conspiracy theory, then maybe the NI staff decided to use Al since this was the final stage of the Switchover. Once Northern Ireland was done, then the entire scheme was completed. Might as well give him one final wave.

 When all was said and done, the UK successfully transitioned over to digital television without any major issues and Al faded away into nothingness. The obvious reason for this is that he was created for one sole purpose. He was not a BBC mascot, he was a mascot for the Switchover specifically. What are you supposed to do with him once it's all done? He had outlived his usefulness, so to speak and so, the cheeky little bugger was taken out and sentenced to an eternity of wink-and-nod cameos during various other BBC promotions over the years. Of course, it probably didn't help that they stripped all of his personality out of him after Lucas left the project and resigned him to a kind of ugly-looking CGI robot, but still. I like Al for what he was, what he represented. As someone who grew up in the 2000s and early 2010s, Al is almost a symbol of my childhood, a bygone memory of simpler times. For that, I'll always have a soft spot for the little fella.

 A few interesting links:

 https://youtu.be/cerk8CDG8BE - The first advert with Digit Al

https://youtu.be/mWM3KuXidrA - An example of a post-Lucas advert

https://youtu.be/qecN3kmH9Hw - The hilariously unsettling example of the Switchover interrupting a rather morbid news report (it's the first section, BBC Two Scotland)

https://youtu.be/1p8d2Uo8pJk - The Switchover message from BBC 1 NI, the final few minutes of analogue television in all of Britain. Includes the Al plushie cameo.

[embraceyourfandom]

I finally watched the Kinnporsche World Tour with my sister, who probably now thinks I'm even more แปลกๆ than she thought. (=weird, just love that word and cannot get it out of my head since Jeff Satur used it so many times.) Now I can't be spoiled anymore so I can un-blacklist all the kinnporsche related tags and see what has been going on in the fandom. Yay!

The show was such a delight. I was laughing and smiling so much that my face hurts. They have obviously had fun and that is always a great thing to see, people enjoying what they are doing. Makes me happy.

Yes, the subtitles lagged terribly, and did affect the enjoyment (still totally worth it!). I don't know who was more annoyed: sister who doesn't understand Thai at all, or I who understands tiny bits from here and there and is therefore acutely aware of the subtitles a) being half a minute late b) dropping third of the said things away. :/

I feel terrible for the translators, who are likely to get shit from this - it's not their fault. Simultane translating is hard. The translators should have been given at least song lyrics and scripted stuff beforehand so that they could have just dropped the texts in. Also I have seen a modern speech to text machine translating at work (amazing) that could have also been used alongside human translator(s) (I sincerely hope there was more than one translator...) I do wish this show will be available in some media that does subtitles anew. I especially regret I couldn't get half of what Tong said. He speaks so nicely and he is overall so wonderful and I want to love him a little bit more. :)

(I also would have felt bad about lagging subtitles during Mile's song - Monotone's เพลงรักเพลงหนึ่ง - but luckily I had just translated that as a practice, so I knew the lyrics and could just listen.)

Back to the good stuff. I cannot help but admire how talented people there are in the world. Music is one field that I lack both gifts and cultivation on. So to me people who are musically gifted and have nurtured that talent are pretty much as close to magic as anything in this world can be. So I've been awed and delighted to see how many of the cast plays instruments. And sings! And dances! So impressive. Okay so, maybe they were not always pitch perfect, but still so very good and they must have used so much time practicing!!!

The only one I would like to smack upside on the back of his stupid head is Jeff Satur, who obviously had problems with his throat but who still sang. Ouch. He is a professional musician - he should know better and take better care of his vocal cords (I'm not musically gifted, yeah, but I know plenty about physiology). Or maybe he knows his limits and what he can do without permanently scarring his cords. *shrug* Still made me have sympathy pain on high notes. He has such a beautiful voice and he is such a talented songwriter that I would hate for him to damage his voice.

There was oodles of creative insanity and I'm dying to dig into the behind the scenes material to know how much input they had on their clothes and such. The show was a crazy patchwork of their personalities and I absolutely loved it because of that. I hope everyone had some of their wishes come true. :)

I loved how the cast gave so much recognition for the other people who made the series - backstage crew is important and often gets overlooked. It is also always touching how important family is in Thailand. And of course I was all hearteyes over them being such a found family. I have been in a couple of amateur theatre groups and I totally understand. Making a big creative project together does create attachment. It has been years since I have been in any production (Acting? Me? Oh, no no no! I am a back stage kind of person), but I am still in touch with those people and fondly remember the great times we had together.

Overall, a wonderful show. (Sister liked it a lot too.)

#kinnporsche

[patriciavetinari]

I know I've talked about this before but it's relevant again. (It's my sex thoughts). I think a big reason I'm having trouble with dating is still my body image, but not in the sense of lack of my own confidence in myself, but lack of my confidence in others being normal about it.

What has always stopped me on dating apps from agreeing to in person meetings is that I think I'm still sort of expecting a reaction 'ummm... you're fatter in person, lmao bye'. And even if THAT doesn't happen, an even scarier scenario is clothed dates going well because I dress really nice and Can Accentuate, but then I'm terrified of getting undressed before other people (actually, yes, even in completely non-dating context like medical appointments, bra fitting I recently got, spa appointments etc). I'm terrified that I'm going to spend time, get close with someone, dare to undress with lights on, and them going 'is that cellulite? :/ is that body hair? :/ is that textured skin? are those stretch marks? is that a roll I didn't guess was there because your a-line skirt didn't cling to it? lmao, bye'.

I mean... I will probably bounce back from it. I do know all the confident blah blah blah of 'if they don't like your body they don't deserve to fuck it' / 'people in movies are specially selected for their thinness and then airbrushed beyond human norms'. Yeah, I know everyone is photoshopped, and potentially, that person that revealed themself as shitty is an instant turn off for me, I don't want them any more either. But it's still hurts, it's still a moment of great vulnerability that might confirm my fears of being unloveable not because of how I am but because how society is. I know I'm quite a catch, but it's MY sensibility and ME being normal about human appearance and MY work on my fatphobia and MY acceptance of all sorts of bodies. I cannot vouch for literally anyone else.

I cannot know what other people think of my naked body unless I show it to them. Either a photo which is not my intent here, I don't want to be observed, OR having to get to the stage of ultimate private vulnerability with a human being that will have a window of opportunity to attempt and hurt me. Or just reveal their internal bigotry that is actively cultivated and encouraged by modern society. Or even just hinting they were expecting something else and they are not crazy about me.

And with how rampant fatphobia is, how art and media only raise people on visual diet of perfectly airbrushed smooth thin hairless bodies I really have no reason NOT to suspect literally any match on any dating app of being an asshole about this. I have no reason to believe that the parts of my body I don't show can be loved because I never see that being the case. I have to look for very specific porn or art to find proof that bodies like mine are desired or admired.

And even that won't work because I cannot very well be putting stuff like 'searching for people who are cool with body hair and cellulite and actually actively find it attractive' on my profile because, well... Makes me sound desperate, makes people know of my vulnerability, makes them aware this is a pain point. I will then get paranoid of any match only pretending to be i to that to hurt me in the long term.

Yeah, I'm messed up, and I don't know how to break that (other than get naked in front of strangers). That's why I don't really care about dating apps, that's why I cannot bring myself to even have a one night stand, because that could mean (best case scenario) some ok sex, but for me it would be the first time in this current body, first time since I've been anorexic (and even then there was so little attention to me and no admiration of my looks, I've literally never been given a hint I'm desirable), AND it could also mean a moment of enormous pain from a person who I didn't know enough to trust before I agreed to casual sex.

Even though yeah, in theory, I want a no strings attached sex relationships, string of lovers and whatnot, but at the same time I have to trust those lovers genuinely want my body with all the cellulite and rolls and body hair turning them on. And it's impossible to know that for sure in advance.

Funny thing is, if someone did advertise it loudly ("hey comrades i like pussy the hairier the better") - that is also not something that I feel would solve the problem, because that has a touch of objectification. It's the other extreme of then not being crazy about me specifically but just chasing body hair like some people chase fat bodies in an objectifying way.

I mean yeah I see those posts about body hair being sexy and cellulite their beloved and so on, but those are theoretical people on the internet that don't know me, they don't get to see me and confirm it applies to me too. They are not turned on by me specifically.

You know those observations about neurodivergency, people making plans around you but you needing to confirm you are invited and wanted there? You know how you need to ensure 5 times that your friend is not mad at you but just experiencing a negative emotion because life? I just realized my thing about having it confirmed to me 10 times I'm desired with all those parts of me that are typically airbrushed out might be a version of that.

It also sucks so much because I'm a very sexual person and an absolute knockout in bed. It's like being able to bake and never daring to feed anyone because what if they think my whisk looks asymmetrical and weird.

#also yeah obviously that's why representation matters #also why most of body positice art is not really helping because digitally animated fat people are all still snooth and perfect #long post #sex talk

[thelittlemermage]

(Okay, I just realized the text limit changed from the last time I tried to send an ask that long, so just one part this time, heh, sorry.)

"I'm glad you've been enjoying it lol. If you want to watch modern patb fandom crash and burn in real time you can go into my patb ask tags and work backward lmao."

LOL tbh I've been staying back this whole time because I just feel too close to it (was here for fandom from the v. beginning, maybe even tta days, and uuhhh I was WAY too young to be online then tbh, haha, I was often the youngest person in any given fandom I was aware of, sometimes by a lot…crazy to think about now). Modern fandom makes me go o.0 and feel like I'm from Planet Nebulon in the Oinkle-Doinkle Galaxy. Which I don't mind, but it's all the bullying/harassment that get my hackles up, I just think, "Reality isn't paying me enough dividends to be Serious Business about cartoon characters and watch people get seriously attacked over drawings, nope," I can't do it. My brain refuses, heh.

So I figured that it'd be like watching a beloved childhood stuffed animal I loved as a kid and used to hug get taken out of storage and beaten savagly with a baseball bat over and over again, to watch people get bullied because of A!/PatB. Warm childhood memories don't mix with harassment stuff so ya'know. Which…kinda, but some people seem really cool so I thought I'd finally wade a toe in.

LOL yeah same about just clicking to see things out of curiosity ONLY when I say "lying" (and I should never have even done that!), I definitely never lied to get into marked spaces to interact. I'm not defending clicking though, as even that was dangerous and I know it was wrong, and the thought of lying to interact in clearly marked 18+ spaces never would have occurred to me because that seemed INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS. And still does, tbh.

Here's a funny story: When I talked about going to one of the Animanias (A! fan gatherings, may have even been the one where they showed the PPPGALF) my friends said, "Don't do it, because the people on the Internet will murder you." I was always super careful about everything and so were other kids, I think the one person who went to that who was under 18, her parents were fans and that's why she went. I eventually met people from online and (spoilers) wasn't murdered but there were always tons of safety measures and adults I knew around to be really safe and really careful.

So it's funny to see concerns go from "people will murder you" to "you might see something weird" which was a major given att? Meanwhile, as an adult, I get nervous about kiddos online. There are lots of legit dangerous people and serious scams. But that's why I get worried, not about cartoon discourse, but real life, serious harm. Also why lying to get into 18+ spaces is, no joke, super dangerous always. You shouldn't ever do it! I was mostly super cautious, but I was still very lucky with some pretty small risks that I did take!

Anime pages - oh yeah I had a million "The Shrine of X Anime Character," I remember "The Church of X Anime Character," Webrings...good times! Sort of!

Oh, yes. I totally get what you mean by being too close to it.

"So I figured that it'd be like watching a beloved childhood stuffed animal I loved as a kid and used to hug get taken out of storage and beaten savagly with a baseball bat over and over again, to watch people get bullied because of A!/PatB. Warm childhood memories don't mix with harassment stuff so ya'know."

That is pretty much how it feels, yea lol. Totally fucked up experience seeing old and new friends get harassed and hurt by people in this community when it's always been safe up until now. All things considered, I didn't get the worst of it, but I kinda wish I had kept this fandom at a distance outside of close friends. I could still be jaded tho. Ask me again in a few years if it was worth it lol.

That said, there are some totally cool people in this fandom! Not everyone is a monster lol. Actually, I should mention that every time something bad has happened to me, there were people reaching out to help as well. Even right now when my blog got the blurry disease lol, people let me know right away. So yea, there's good and kind people hanging around. ^^

Oh yea, I'm always worried people will think I'm defending minors doing things like that when I say that I used to haha. I shouldn't have done those things either. But I'm glad it wasn't as much of an option to sneak into super closed off groups of adults like it is now with discord servers and stuff? It freaks me out how often that seems to happen now and it's so incredibly dangerous for everyone involved to have such a direct interaction like that. Idk, it almost seems like a game to people to sneak into those spaces and yoink out art and show it to their friends and that is extremely not good for so many reasons. 😬 I would not play those games.

Anime character shrines were so good and we should bring them back 🙏 Actually, we should make a Pinky shrine, it would be really funny lol.

#ask