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a-lonely-tatertot · 3 years

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Finding Home Ch. 5

A/N: Yall I am soooo sorry this took so freaking long!!! but its done and I hope yall like it this was so much fun to write even if it took over a month because of school and stuff but its here so yeah! please dont forget to comment or reblog they mean so much too me :D and thank you @bookwyrminspiration for editing and helping me get this out as fast as i could word count: 5096 tw warnings: minor panic attack, mentions of volence, and invasion of privacy

Chapter 5: Starting of a Fire

Sweat dripped down her spine as thoughts raced through her head. Sophie didn't quite understand how it had happened, all she knew was that somehow she had Tam's memories. Memories of Linh and arguing and Denver. How had she gotten in his head? Did Tam know she had seen his memories? She hadn’t touched her telepathy in years. School was hard without it, but she had her memory, and she didn't want to know what her human friends were thinking; Fitz had somehow ingrained the rules in her brain. But somehow, after years of barely even thinking about it, she had managed to reach Tam's mind, which was probably hundreds of miles away, and had looked at the exact memories she was thinking of.

Memories Sophie had no right to. Fear solidified in her stomach, a weight she didn't quite know how to bear. "Soph? Sophie, you up?" Amy called from the hallway.

The pillow behind her looked so soft and tempting to fall back into, but no matter what telepathy crisis she was having, she had a life to get to. "Yeah, I'm getting there." The words came out rough from sleep.

Grabbing her phone from the nightstand, she plugged in her headphones and started her wake-up playlist. Mystical powers could wait until after breakfast.

Amy rode the bus with her to work, Their Saturday routine. Amy had tutoring with Jena (bless her heart), and Sophie who had worked at the cafe across the street. Normally she would work all day and get home around the same time Amy did from her afternoon shift. It worked well, and they would sit at home afterward juggling homework and takeout.

"That guy's picking his nose," Amy said, breaking the unintentionally tense silence.

"That's so gross, why would you say that?" Sophie whispered incredulously. No matter how hard she tried, her eyes couldn't leave the man who, unfortunately, had a finger up his nose.

"Ha, now you can't unsee it!" Amy grinned triumphantly. Annoyed, Sophie grumbled back and went silent. She stared, lost in thought, not fully present.

"Why are you so tense?" Amy said softly, as if she didn't quite want Sophie to hear. In the back of her mind, she thought it sounded like when she used to hear human thoughts.

"Hm? I'm not tense," Sophie lied, only to have Amy turn to her in surprise.

"I didn't say that you were," Amy responded quizzically.

“But I heard you?” Sophie said. Was she hallucinating? No, she couldn’t be, she wasn’t crazy. Amy was still staring at her, eyes boring, brows furrowed. Studying her, Sophie really didn’t like being studied. Her tone bordered annoyed when she finally asked, “What?”

“Why’d you read my mind?” Amy asked, eyes narrowed and her tone hushed. “Isn't there rules against that?”

It took a second for Sophie to process what Amy was saying. She hadn’t meant to listen in, but she hadn’t meant to go through Tam’s memories either. Was she losing control again? It was two minds; it could mean nothing, it wasn’t her fault, it was an accident! But what if losing control of her telepathy is only the beginning? This- the worrying, the panic, malfunctioning that reminded her she was only an experiment and a weapon- it was supposed to be over. Why wasn’t it over?

Too deep in her panic, Sophie was unaware of Amy grabbing her arm. The bus slowed down and Amy dragged her out of the bus and as far away from the swarms of people as she could. “Sophie? Soph you with me?” Amy asked desperately. In response, Sophie could only nod. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she thought, oh, this is a panic attack. The want to run, to move, to get away, exploded in her body everywhere at once. The walls around her mind fell next, and she heard everything at once. Her head pounded, her eyes watered and her knees gave out. She crumbled to the ground and Amy sank in front of her.

Hands gripped her shoulders, hard but not in the way she knew. It wasn’t trapping but comforting, grounding, a reminder of where she was. Amy’s hands moved, one to her arm and one to the back of her neck. Amidst the screaming thoughts of passerby chaos and pain, Amy knelt in front of her, pressed against her and one thought rang louder than the rest.

I'm here. I’ve got you. You can enter my mind if that’s easier, it’s gonna be okay.

Sophie wanted to cry with relief, if she could have talked she would’ve shouted with happiness. She choked in a breath, focused her mind, and plunged her mind forward.

Amy let out a sharp breath but stayed quiet. After over a year and a half of being in no other mind than her own, it was surprisingly underwhelming. It was weird, feeling her body in one place but knowing her mind wasn’t with it.

Hi? she thought.

You're loud, geez, Amy responded. How’re you doing?

It's easier to block everyone else out if I focus on you, she said. The pain was still horrible but she was getting there. One by one she matched her breaths to Amy’s and started to block off the other thoughts. Built her walls, brick by brick, until the suffocation of thousands of thoughts loosened and the migraine calmed.

Eventually, Amy spoke. So, when did this start happening?

Losing control? After Fitz taught me what to do it hasn’t happened, Sophie responded.

No unintentional mind reading? Nothing? Amy had her there. Unintentional mind-probing more like.

Sophie took another deep breath and leaned away from her sister but kept her eyes shut to block out the world. Last night, she started, I somehow got ahold of Tam’s memories. The ones of Linh and him when they first arrived here.

Amy remained silent, the only sound their breathing. A beat passed and Sophie opened her eyes to find Amy studying her, eyebrow quirked. Go on, she finally thought.

Except Sophie didn’t quite know how to go on. In an impulse decision, she brought Tam’s memories to the surface of her mind. With a brief Brace yourself, she transmitted them to Amy and watched her reaction as the scenes played before them.

When it was over, and the scene of Tam and Fitz faded, Amy was silent yet again. “Oh shit,” Amy whispered, meeting Sophie’s eyes.

With a chuckle, Sophie bitterly responded, “Yup.”

“Have you told her?”

“No?” Sophie gaped. “How would I even say that? ‘Oh yeah so in my sleep I accidentally watched your brother’s memories and learned all the shit you didn’t tell me. hope you don’t hate me or anything’?”

“Okay, yeah, that's a pretty bad conversation starter,” Amy agreed. “I don’t know how, but you need to tell her. This is pretty big.”

“I know,” she said with a sigh and Amy’s face softened with relief. Standing up she continued, “I guess we should get moving, we don’t want to be late.” As they walked, Sophie tried not to think about how she intentionally avoided saying “I will”.

Hours passed, tedious as always. Taking orders, making coffee, cups and bags, and people. So many people. Somehow Amilia's head survived. A few slip-ups, when a part of her mind would get distracted. When the muscle memory of her tasks wasn't enough and she had to rack her brain to remember an order only to get flooded with thoughts that definitely didn't help her remember.

At one point, when there was barely anyone in the small cafe, Amilia had an idea. Her gaze flicked over the cafe, from the plants scattered decoratively to the tables she had yet to clean. Taking a breath, she tried to open her mind up to one of her coworker's thoughts. To see if she could after all these years only blocking off her powers. After a few tries (and tripping over a bucket of water) she managed to do it. With enough focus, she could open her mind and build walls around the thin connection between her and her coworker's minds.

She grinned, letting herself celebrate her small success for a fleeting moment until the door opened again with a ding and she was back at the register. The order was simple as Sophie plugged it into the small device. Her voice struggled not to sound bored as she called out the name when it was ready and returned to her cleaning. It was all so boring; her mind wandered to Linh coming over. She felt her heart flutter at the same time dread settled. Not now, Amilia told herself as the small bell rang again and she found herself back at the register.

"Amilia!" Jena called, sauntering her way into the cafe like she owned the place. That's what Amilia liked about the girl, how she wasn't intimidated by anything. Natalie trailed behind her with a tired look in her eyes.

"I need like three coffees," Natalie groaned.

"You won't survive three coffees," Amilia laughed, already starting to place their orders. It was the same every week, Jena with the most amount of sugar added to her coffee and Natalie with just straight black. Jena paid as an apology for whatever hell studying ended up being.

Nat hummed appreciatively when James, Amilia's coworker, gave them their order. In one move she downed the entire cup despite it being burning hot. "Ahh that's the shit," she mused.

"How did your throat not just disintegrate?" Amilia asked bewildered.

"I'm just not a weakling," she retorted. "Also your girl is coming over once your shift is over if you haven't forgotten."

'Your girl', Amilia knew, was referring to Linh who had planned to come and hang out that afternoon. Which, after the events of the morning, she had entirely forgotten. "Fuck," she hissed. "My shift is almost over so hopefully we can get home with time to spare to clean?"

The apartment desperately needed cleaning, covered in piles of homework and dishes and trash that they only occasionally had time to take out.

Thirty minutes later the sisters were rushing onto their bus home, catching their breath as they grabbed the handlebars. When they finally arrived home, the tall glass building taunting them in the daylight, Sophie took the stairs two at a time and practically kicked the door in. She ran around the apartment in a fury trying to figure out where she could stuff things when she heard murmurs.

"How long do you think it'll take her to notice?" Linh's unmistakable voice asked.

"Eh give her a second; She's in the zone," Amy responded, clearly trying not to laugh. Slowly turning around, praying desperately that her face wasn't as red as it felt, Sophie faced the figures leaning in the doorway.

"Hi?" she said tentatively, but it came out more like a question.

"Hello, sweetheart. We didn't mean to interrupt," Linh responded with a grin.

Sophie tugged at her eyelash in embarrassment, "I totally just ran right past you didn't I?"

"Yup," Linh chuckled.

Sophie groaned and buried her face in her hands. "It's nice to know you care about order though," Linh said, gently pulling her hands away from her face and placing a soft kiss on her cheek.

Amy chuckled, walking in behind Linh, "Y’all are too soft for me. I'll be in my room." In a half-hearted response, Sophie stuck her tongue out as she passed. Linh's arms were comforting around her as they snaked their way around her waist. Instinctively Sophie leaned into her touch and wrapped her arms around Linh before burying her head into the crook of her neck. The first thing that Sophie realized was that Linh was much taller than her, in all the memories she had Linh was shorter,but here she was, taller, and Sophie leaning against her instead of the other way. The second thing was that Linh was warm like a blanket or a human heater. Compared to the rest of the world, which was gradually getting colder because of the fall, Linh felt warm like home, like something familiar.

"We should probably move," Linh whispered, mouth against the top of hair.

Sophie hummed, "But you're comfy."

Linh laughed sweetly, "You were in the middle of cleaning, I don't wanna interrupt that."

Pulling back, Sophie surveyed the room. Unfortunately, it was still in need of some cleaning. "I can do that later; you're here right now and I wanna spend time with my girlfriend."

Linh just shook her head, "I like cleaning. It's relaxing, and you can introduce me to that music you've been screaming about."

Vaguely she remembered texting Linh late one night about the new band she’d found and how Linh just had to listen or she would die. She grabbed a cup from the kitchen, reluctantly started the music, to which Linh started moving slowly. "We can start in my room, it's probably the worst," Sophie said, stopping her brain from overthinking it before it was out of her mouth.

With that, they started cleaning, which was surprisingly more fun than it would seem. Now and then a song would come on and Sophie would throw down whatever she was holding and do an impromptu dance party. Linh would just laugh and watch her with those eyes that were full of adoration and pulled at Sophie's heart, pulled Sophie farther and farther into this dream of reality.

She avoided thoughts of what Linh was, of the memories she wasn't supposed to have seen, they but nagged at her over and over. Feet moved, things fell, and they laughed and danced, and Linh- Linh just wouldn't stop smiling. The small motion pulled at her heart and it was just like she imagined. It reminded her of the days during the war that they'd sit and sort through the clues, and for once Sophie found herself longing for that time.

"Hey, babe?" Linh called from the closet as Sophie shook herself out of her haze.

"Yeah?"

Stepping out there was something in her hands. It was a postcard. She cocked her head to the side trying to rack her brain where it could've come from. "It says it's from Kull? The hell kinda name is that?" Linh said.

No- Sophie stumbled a bit, no it couldn't be. But no, she remembered. Three weeks after being at the new apartment she got mail. Not some shipment for her, a postcard, with four words written on it. With shaking hands Sophie grabbed the card out of Linh's hands like she was in a dream.

I'm here, always. - Mari

Far deep inside of her, under layers and layers of running and hiding and nights of crying, something broke. She was lonely. She wasn't alone per se; Amy was there, Linh was there, giving her those concerned eyes and crinkled eyebrows, but she was lonely. Sophie missed late-night pancakes, and endless days laughing and baking hands filled with flour (distantly she wondered if that's why Fitz had fallen in love with baking), she missed the hard exterior who had the best hugs and always knew what she was doing. She found herself missing Angie too, the weekends they'd play scrabble and laugh at how Angie would win every time no matter how hard she and Mari tried. Sophie longed for late nights sitting in Tommy's attic, the lawnmower boy across the street that always came in for banana pancakes while unironically humming the song under his breath (she asked him about it once and he just said it was always stuck in his head). They used to play late night games until it was one in the morning and Mari was calling and asking if she was coming home (most nights she didn't, too busy laughing and trying to throw popcorn into each other's mouths). And something inside her realized she missed those nights. She missed the random people she'd fallen in love with, the late nights filled with laughter and shakes instead of nightmares and tears.

Glancing up she studied Linh's face. It was a mix of concern and confusion, a bit of hesitance, and a lot of wonder. The sudden urge to cry hit Sophie like a brick wall and she did. She cried quietly, knowing that this wasn't something that needed to be cried over yet she needed to do it anyway. Strong arms wrapped themselves around her and Sophie buried her head and tears into Linh's shoulder. "What do you need?" Linh asked after a moment of rubbing small circles into Sophie's back.

"To go home." Linh jerked back, confusion and bewilderment evident in her eyes because home to Linh would never be a small town with a dirt road and covered in trees, it would be a world of brokenness and misplaced ideals that forced her, them, to fix it. It would be a world of shimmering crystals and jobs she never wanted. She didn't know Sophie's was the exact opposite. Sophie explained, the town and what she left behind, not why because it felt stupid, but she explained what Mari was, her friend (mother figure? The one who knew her better than anyone else?), she said she left, and she needed to go back.

"Okay," Linh said, a finality. And Linh pulled out her computer, and an hour later they had plans and were packing and it all felt too rushed to be real. It felt weirder when Amy said goodbye from the bottom steps of the apartment; she would be coming up the next day with the gang's van. It felt weird, like moving through jelly when they stepped into the Grayhound station and Sophie was left staring at her ticket and at the bus in disbelief.

"Soph," Linh whispered after a beat, "I think you're supposed to, you know, get on the bus."

Sophie knew the functions of buses, better than Linh most likely; she knew that one was supposed to step in it, choose a seat, wait for it to stop, and if it was the desired location one would step off of the bus. If her life were the movie she watched with her parents when she was little, she would walk gracefully, with soft music setting the mood, and when she would sit down, she would let out a breath that she wouldn't know she was holding. She would watch out the window wistfully, and at some point, the music would get quieter and the image of her would fade into the memories of herself meeting Mari, a speed-up of the year she had spent with the woman would play. The music would rise, and the scene of her running trying to hold herself together in the pouring rain. The camera would follow as she ran to the bus stop, as she grabbed a ticket and made it to the last bus for the night with her little duffle bag and tears picture-perfect, the ugly sobs that wracked her that night were just not movie material, and the scene would switch just as she was sitting down in the memory to her standing up, with a new determination in her eyes, in the present.

But, this was not some multimillion-coming-of-age story with a bow on top.

Because Sophie herself was too much of an emotional mess and a real person (term used loosely and does not apply to being a secret-elven-war-hero and more used in the sense of the emotional trauma and not knowing how to function normally that comes with being a secret-elven-war-hero) to be the star of a movie. Who would pay money to go see someone with human emotions also fail at life when they can just look at themselves or the people around them for free?

"Earth to Sophie!" Linh snapped in front of her face.

"Yes, I'm alive, huh?" Sophie rushed.

Linh snickered and made Sophie blush more than she wanted to admit. "I was wondering if we were actually going to get on the train?" Linh said gently.

"Oh, yeah, I'm sorry it's just weird, I needed a minute," Sophie apologized.

Linh smiled slightly and gently intertwined their fingers, "I get it, and I'm here for you." Instinctively she leaned into the touch, but a knot of guilt and anxiety tied in her stomach along with thoughts that she had tried desperately to keep out of her head all day. What are you hiding? If I said anything would you still be here? Or will you run from me too?

They found their seats, and Sophie managed to steal her way to the window seat. She stuffed her bag under the seat in front of her and found herself stopping. She let out the breath, she hadn't realized she was holding. A pit settled in her, a deep and endless feeling that she could get lost in. Down down down it went filled with black and heaviness she was so desperately trying to ignore. Her uncertainty scared her the most. It was like the Neverseen, she never knew how long her peace would last or how quickly it would be ruined.

Hopefully, she could make this last another day. Another night of this feeling, of safety while holding Linh's hand. She wasn't quite ready for this to be over, to rock the boat, to ask about what Linh did. It was selfish, but Sophie was a selfish person.

The man at the front of the bus, the driver, stood up holding the microphone, and started to say something probably about rules and destinations, but Sophie couldn't hear a word he said. At that moment her thoughts were flooded as the boundaries she built came tumbling down. "Fuck," she whispered, she could barely hear herself. Squeezing her eyes she tried not to cry and kept her head down. This time it wasn't nearly as bad as the street which had so many more people, but still, her head pounded and she dug her nails into her fingers resisting the urge to pick at an eyelash. Surprisingly, it was pretty easy to hide the pain from Linh, whose sole focus was the driver's words. She clamped her jaw shut and focused on the pain in her palms, trying to forget about the migraine. The Grayhound suddenly roared to life and started to move jostling Sophie back into her seat, the motion making it worse. "Fucking christ," she hissed as a particularly loud thought rose to the surface.

"Babe? You okay?" Linh asked, putting her hand on Sophie's arm, finally noticing that Sophie was very much not okay. It took everything in her not to snap something sarcastic back.

Instead, she went for a hopefully convincing smile and said, "Yeah I just need to run to the bathroom."

Linh chuckled as she got up. "I told you to go before we left." Sophie nodded in response as her head continued to pound and she reached up to pick an eyelash. She tried to hide the pain as much as she could walking towards the back, holding her balance surprisingly well as the jackhammer in her head continued.

She made it to the bathroom, which was smaller than she expected. Sitting on the closed toilet (it was the size of a portapotty and she wished there was somewhere else to sit) Sophie counted her breaths. Slowly, she opened her mind. It was as bad of an idea as it sounded. The pounding got worse like the thoughts were trying to crack her mind, but Sophie was determined. Sifting through the loud barrage of words and ideas she searched for the quieter voices. She found her way downward (not really but it was the only way to describe the feeling) pushing thoughts to the side building a guarded bridge from her mind. A tiny wisp of thought caught her attention, a blank spot between the screaming.

Gotcha, she thought triumphantly.

Pushing forward, imaginary brick by imaginary brick she created a path to the silent mind that was most likely sleeping already. With a push, she found her way in as gently as she could, taking refugee in the calm. She allowed herself a breath before she started to build her mind walls around the second one. One by one the minds faded to the background like static until she was finally at peace in the stranger's head. It felt weird, to say the least. The walls were up, she was fine, she was protected, and yet she felt reluctant to leave. Like she should figure out who this person was. Why did she care? That was a good question, Sophie didn't quite have an answer.

As she was about to leave, pushing away her conflicting thoughts, a memory, tinted blue appeared. She shouldn't have looked at it. That was her first mistake. There were rules against this intrusion, she wasn't supposed to see it. And yet she was curious. So, against her better judgment, Sophie stayed and Sophie watched.

She could tell from the start the memory clearly wasn’t happy. It started in what looked like a bathroom. Dark and grim, dimly lit. They were staring down at the sink, something dripping from their face. It might've been blood. The door opened and the person's head swung, Sophie caught a glimpse of dark hair in the mirror before her attention was drawn to the figure in front of her.

Dangerous eyes matched a dangerous frame. A red and black striped shirt peeked out from behind a gray jacket rolled up to the man's elbows. Peaking from under the edge of the sleeve was the end of an anchor. Dark eyes were accompanied by a smirk that made Sophie's hair stand up. "What do you want?" a high voice said, presumably the owner of the memory.

He only raised an eyebrow in response leaning against the wall.

"Oh stop that little act," the voice huffed, "No one’s gonna see you here.”

His face relaxed and for a beat it was silent, then, "You're being reckless."

Saying nothing, the view shifted back to the sink. "I've got nothing to lose," they murmured. Pale hands with bruised knuckles gripped the edge of the sink.

"Yeah? Well welcome to the club," he said gruffly. "The whole reason this little group exists is cause every single one of those people? Guess what, they've got nothing else to lose except this place. And I'm not risking their safety for you."

"Nice to know you care," they said with a huff.

The man's eyes were tired as he pleaded, "Look, you know I'm not great at emotions, but try not to pick a fight with every single person you come into contact with out there?"

"Yeah, I'll try," breathed the voice, defeated.

"And Linh?" the man kept speaking, but Sophie couldn't hear. Words were muffled as they looked up, and Linh's—her Linh’s—face stared back at her in the mirror.

Startled, Sophie stumbled out of the memory, out of Linh's mind (why was it Linh's mind?) all together. The wall of the bathroom smacked against the back of her head as she jerked back into herself. "What the hell," she gasped. "What the hell."

A beat passed till Sophie stood, bumping her knees against the wall across from her. It was awkward trying to maneuver her way out of the miniature-sized bathroom (it didn’t even count as a bathroom). Finally, she pushed the sliding door back to let her out and tried to avoid eye contact with anyone that noticed her. Fumbling her way out, still slightly trapped in her haze of how’s and whys and Linh Linh Linh- she almost passed her seat when Linh tapped her.

Sophie didn’t hear what she said, it all going in one ear and out the other as she tried to mask her intense waves of emotion and thanking the universe that Linh wasn’t an empath. She avoided Linh’s silver eyes, dodging her worried looks.

“I’m fine,” Sophie barked. “Just rattled, wondering what I’m gonna say to Mari,” she lied of course the thought of Mari hadn’t even crossed her mind until then. But when she started to talk she couldn’t stop herself, “It’s just been a long time you know? I don’t know if she even wants to see me. I left her just in the middle of the night with barely a goodbye after a year of living with her and her taking care of me and-“

There was a hand holding hers and another cupping her cheek. “Hey,” Linh whispered, her breath tickled Sophie’s cheek.

“H-hey,” she stuttered as Linh brushed her thumb under Sophie’s eye, wiping off the tear she didn’t even know was there.

A small smile captured Linh’s face, it made Sophie wonder how this girl was the same one who used to be so so angry. she probably still is, part of her thought before she shoved it away.

“We’re already here, on this bus on our way; this is the point of no return. Okay? And this may be the point of no return, but you’re not alone. I’ve got you and Amy’s coming up tomorrow. You’re not alone in this. Whether she wants you to come or not cause of how long it’s been since she asked, you need this, you can’t just bury this,” Linh said, her hands stayed cupped around Sophie’s face and her eyes held her gaze firmly.

Sophie let herself nod as she noticed how close Linh was. Part of her wondered if she was supposed to kiss Linh (that’s what couples did right?) but another was stuck turning Linh’s words over in her mind unable to stop thinking, But isn’t that what you did? Bury and bury and bury?

Linh’s smile grew and she felt herself smile too, even if it was small and her mind was too busy overthinking for the aching in her chest to register. They turned away from each other, Linh with a small remark of how tired she was and Sophie grabbing her headphones from her bag. Plugging them in, a desperate attempt to shut out her mind, she felt Linh's head on her shoulder and that smile returned and grew as Linh sighed and curled into her side. For a brief moment, she convinced herself that the girl in the memory was not the same girl she knew. For a fleeting second, Sophie pretended that she couldn't feel herself setting the fire to the beginning of the end.

#hehheheheh #finding home #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #solinh #sophie foster #kotlc sophie #linh song #kotlc linh #amy foster #kotlc amy #kotlc fic #kotlc fanfic #tater writes #writers on tumblr

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grxceblqckthxrn · 4 years

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hi @chocolatecarstairs came up with these post-CHOG questions and i really want to answer them because im sad that im finished reading it :((

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW

what was your favorite part, 1 or 2?

Honestly I loved both parts, but I’d say I loved part two just a little bit more for the time that James wasn’t under the curse anymore and LOVED Cordelia

which scene in the book was your favorite?

EVERY scene that had Matthew and James being wholesome parabatai in it!!! my favourite chapter in this book was Blue Ruin, the one after Grace takes the bracelet back from James (aside from the whispering room ofc).

what scene (or scenes) made you cry the most?

ok ngl i didnt spend much of this book crying, but the only scene that actually made me tear up was when james was dying and matthew could feel it and jesse (WHO I FUCKING LOVED MORE THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD) gave him his last breath :(((((

what scenes were unsatisfactory?

there were not enough Christopher scenes (but to be fair, even if the entire book was just Christopher it still wouldnt be enough for me)

but fr, i cant think of any off the top of my head but i’ll edit this if i do later

what made you laugh the most?

matthew!! james!! thomas!! christopher!! also some of the things Jesse said

what bored you?

this wasn’t boring, but the whole charles/alastair plot line didn’t have me very invested. I did love the alastair/ cordelia scenes tho, so it was just charles that was the problem

also no offense to james bc he was my first actual fictional crush after reading TMH/NBS but like whenever he talked about being in grace i would literally zone out lol the bracelet curse makes him so boring but whenever he isnt in the curse/ is with someone who is NOT grace i just!! love him!!

what disappointed you?

cassie honestly had me kinda shipping matthew/cordelia for a solid FIVE SECONDS there when he stepped in to dance with her after james left her standing there, but that was one of the only scenes that made me feel like they had natural chemistry (along with the scene where he drops her off at her house). I felt like the during the rest of their interactions in the book, cordelia was kind of uncomfortable, which made me really sad because even tho she has every right to feel that way, i felt bad for matthew. I kind of want him to fall for someone else completely and for it to be reciprocated. also, i just really want for matthew and cordelia to become good friends because i feel like they could have such great natural chemistry if matthew didnt love her.

what is the top thing you wish had been done differently?

see above.

what things did you predict that came true?

JAMES BURNING DOWN BLACKTHORN MANOR I FUCKING SAID HE WOULD DO IT TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO IF YALL WANT ME TO LINK THE THEORY LMK

what are some things that were really unexpected?

ok there’s quite a few things here so bear w me babes:

- James genuinely loving cordelia from the start. I wasn’t expecting him to naturally feel nothing for grace at all, so i was expecting a slow burn jordelia, but finding out that he actually loves her makes me so happy but the end where cordelia thinks he was just pretending breaks my heart :(((

-matthew liking cordelia lol definitely was not expecting another parabatai love triangle but i hope it doesnt last. i do think it adds to the plot and i love it, it just hurts to see matthew so emo :(((

-I was expecting to like cordelia as a character, but i ended up LOVING her so fucking much???? she’s so three dimensional to me, and it’s interesting to see how her personality adapts around different characters as people adapt around different social circles irl

-liking jesse as much as i did

-ok so james’ entire character was a surprise to me. it’s so fascinating to see how the bracelet actually affected his personality.If you recall him in The Midnight Heir from TBC. he’s like an entirely different person. i still loved him in TMH but i went into CHOG thinking that if he was gonna be like that the entire time i’d probably get over him really quickly. i was pleasantly surprised by how much i ended up loving him even more tho

-i didn’t expect oliver hayward to die and im going to stay emo about it

- Christopher is so much more clear headed than he was made out to be prior?? like there were so many scenes where he was fully there and when he defended anna to alastair i just kfdsnfkld i love him

are there characters that you didn’t like before that you like now?

yikes umm... Alastair, maybe? he’s somewhat okay to me now, I dont dislike him as much as I used to. ooh and Hypatia Vex. the only scene i remember liking her in QOAAD was when she helped out kit, ty and dru (me, going a whole TSC post without somehow mentioning kit? not possible)

are there characters that you liked before that you don’t like now?

I started CHOG ready to give Grace the benefit of the doubt, and I was surprised by how timid and shy she seemed at the start, but it was interesting to see how it was all an act and how she doesn’t have an actual personality yet. one could argue that she actually does love james, but i doubt it at this point. i dont hate her yet, even tho she IS fucking up james’ life, but she’s on thin fucking ice.

who was your favorite new character?

does new character mean completely new or just never been in a novella new? because for the first, it would be Cordelia (i LOVE her sm!!) and other wise it would be james, matthew and co. also!!! jesse!!

what places in the book would you like to visit?

that hell dimension sounds pretty lit ngl

did you like the ending?

ok so. we KNOW that jordelia is gonna be endgame. cassandra clare always takes the hardest path to get there, but when has she not delivered? it’s just a matter of waiting. so, yes, i did like the ending in sense of the plot because it was a great twist, but i also feel really bad for all of them even tho ik they’re eventually gonna be together :(((

what did you think of the epilogue?

i wasnt surprised, since we alr know that Tatiana is shady asf, but i just really wanna know how she partnered up with a GREATER demon like lol wtf. again, im really happy in terms of plot with this

what are your thoughts on the engagement?

i feel so. fucking bad. for cordelia. and james too, even tho he’s under the bracelet’s curse so he doesnt even KNOW he’s being manipulated. but i love how even through the curse, james still loves cordelia in his own way.

what did you want to see that didn’t happen?

matthew getting therapy periodt

umm honestly i just want more “merry thieves” content like i just love. all of them.

what do you wish had been resolved that wasn’t?

i really want matthew to tell james or cordelia what happened because i just need him to be loved and supported lol i want to give him a hug.

what is your favorite pairing as of now?

jordelia!!! and lucie and jesse are kind cute rn, and i like them if theyre gonna be pining after eachother but i feel like if they actually get together i wont like the relationship as much.

which characters would you like to see more of in the next book?

CHRISTOPHER CHRISTOPHER CHRISTOPHER

ANNA!!! i lovED reading about her she’s so badass

matthew!! jesse!! also i wanna see more of those bitchy girls lol just so we can see anna or cordelia tell them to stfu

what is one character whose death you would undo if you could?

ok i know that jesse is still very much a conscious character despite being dead but like,,, i want him to be the way he was before and also i want him to come back to life

and barbara!! she seemed so sweet

which characters got bad/unsatisfactory endings?

ummm barbara? i cant really say much on this yet bc its still only the first book and when has the first book ever ended up with anyone being happy.

oh but also can we sign a petition to make cassie let matthew actually survive the series because my heart aches just at the THOUGHT of eventually having to read a scene where he dies

which characters got what they deserved?

literally. none of them yet. :(

who should have died but didn’t?

Tatiana lol also lowkey charles but i also feel pity him to an extent

what plotline are you most excited to see in the next book?

okay the entire jesse plot has me hooked because i LOVE his character. also i love the bracelet plot but its making me MAD because i just want james to be happy but

what is one scene that you wish hadn’t happened, but you know was unavoidable?

THE ONE WHERE GRACE PUTS THE BRACELET BACK ON JAMES. i mean obv there was no way he was completely done with grace, but i literally got so sad at that part like why HIM of all people smfh let him be happy

which pairing do you like the least?

alastair x charles, grace x james, lucie x matthew bc neither of them actually like either imo lol

what are some theories you have for chain of iron?

- not necessarily for COI but i think matthew is gonna get exiled and turned into made into a mundane

- the bracelet will break (?)

- jesse will come back to life (like actual life) at the end of the book

-grace is gonna do something to help the main characters, making it hard for us to hate her.

what characters do you think should have gotten more plot time?

lol are yall gonna hate me if i say christopher again (also anna)

anyways this was really fun!!!!! PLEASE ASK ME STUFF ABOUT MY OPINIONS AND STUFF OR JUST SAY ANYTHING ABT THE BOOK BC IM DESPERATE TO TALK TO PPL ABOUT IT

#chain of gold spoilers #chain of gold #james herondale #Cordelia Carstairs #Matthew Fairchild #lucie herondale #anna lightwood #thomas lightwood #alastair carstairs #charles fairchild #christopher lightwood #grace blackthorn #jesse blackthorn #tatiana blackthorn #the last hours #tlh #cassandra clare #the last hours spoilers #chog spoilers

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cilliankelly · 3 years

Text

text 📱 cillian & ellie.

Discord text thread featuring: cillian & @robinscnfm

When: december 25th

Mentions: @judetaylorhq @loganstjames @iitsace

Description: ellie texts cillian to wish him merry xmas. they discuss their relationships and ellie encourages cillian to try and be better, but for himself, not for anyone else.

Trigger Warnings: insecurities galoooore but i think that’s it.

ellie.

merry christmas dumbass 🤩 hope u had a good time and that your leg is better ❤️ you’re awesome buddy

Cillian

thanks els bells

i know i don’t always act like i do, but i really do appreciate you and shit. thanks for everything and merry christmas

also i’m sorry about your couch

ellie.

i know you do ❤️ no problem. I really did take you in just to do you a solid, buddy

no problem 😂

i might not even need to get one. Yknow, logan asked me to move in and if i do, probably the less furniture the better. U know i have enough shit as it is lmao

Cillian

👀

does this mean you’re seriously considering it?

moving in with the boyfriend?

ellie.

honestly? I kind of am

i have until mid january to think about it

and i like his apartment, plus our schedules don’t always line up because he has a day job and i have a morning job and a night job, which makes hanging out impossible sometimes

Cillian

these all seem like very sensible conclusions

ellie.

They are. I mean. Its kind of scary im ngl

Cillian

definitely scary. but good i think.

ellie.

im not used to living with anyone which definitely freaks me out

and u know i love my crappy ass apartment

but.... its also exciting idk

Cillian

no i totally get it.

i mean it’s a little different for me bc until recently i didn’t really feel like i ever had a home

but it’s nice. it’s big and it’s kind of scary but it’s also really great.

ellie.

ohhhh wait wait 👀

are u moving in w .. someone?

its such a nice apartment too im ngl

and he doesnt let me pay for anything which wasnt an issue when we were 18 but now it makes me feel ✨very guilty✨

Cillian

fuck tell me about it

and i mean... yeah. he gave me a key for christmas

ellie

omg im so happy for you!!!!

thats so so awesome

fuckin scary too but im excited for u

Cillian

thanks. i desperately trying to not fuck it up anymore than i already have. but i feel good about it.

ellie.

he wants to marry me

Cillian

holy shit

i know you guys dated in high school but you’ve been together how long?

ellie.

a fuckin MOOD but hes lucky to have u. Yall are a good match

Cillian

wow thanks. that’s actually like, good to hear.

i kind of feel like i magically won the best friend/boyfriend lottery or something

ellie.

this time around? About a month. Overall? Like almost three years

but no. What he said was that he still had the ring he’d bought back then

and that he wanted to give it to me whenever i was ready to be asked

it fuckin scares me how much he loves me idk what i did to deserve it

U SAID BOYFRIEND

Cillian

sounds like we really are in the same boat

wait what

ellie.

im so happy

yeah we are. Idk ive never been with anyone who loved me so... up front and decisively

Cillian

it’s fucking terrifying

ellie.

it is

Cillian

like i’m really happy???? but i look at him and my chest gets all tight and all i can think about is how much it’s gonna suck to lose him.

also i’m a bit buzzed on wine right now and this conversation is staying RIGHT HERE eleanor.

i have a rep to maintain

ellie.

THATS LOVEEEEE CILLIANNN

and idk im conflicted. He told me he wanted to pick it up where we left off and i told him i wanted to take it slow, and he agreed

and i do want to take it slow....... but oof falling back to the place where we used to be before It happened has been so easy its fuckin scary

Cillian

and oh my god shut uuuuuuuuuuup

i can’t even imagine.

ace is back in town and that’s been... weird

ellie.

IM NOT GONNAAAA U LOOOVE UR BF

my resolve to go slow with him is getting weaker and weaker i am such a mess

i know. I think i saw her the other day. Hows everything on that front?

Cillian

i don’t know. fine? a little awkward. i don’t have feelings for her still but like. i see her and it reminds me how shitty i was. and still am.

ellie.

and dont worry. Yes people leave but not the ones that really love you.... and i have a feeling u found it

Cillian

i think it’s really bumming him out that like... nobody knows we’re... together.

ellie.

yeah why is that?

Cillian

i don’t know...

telling people makes it like... real.

and jude thinks that by not telling people it makes it easier for me to take it all back and regress or whatever

but i just... ellie i’m like positive that i’m gonna fuck this up. and i don’t know if i want to share it. with anyone really. not when it’s this good.

i don’t know if that makes any sense

ellie.

but its important to him

Cillian

he says it’s fine but i know it’s not.

ellie.

and listen

theres a strong possibility you WILL fuck it up and theres also a strong possibility that you will NOT fuck it up. No one knows.

and theres a possibility that he’ll fuck it up

or maybe something else will come in between you two and pull you apart

no one fucking knows ok dude

Cillian

jesus ellie, not making this any easier over here

ellie.

and you’re wasting the sweetest part of a relationship by thinking about the end

so like. The most u can do is stop thinking so far ahead, stop getting in your own way, and every day make the conscious decision to show him you love him and to not to fuck it up. Thats all any of us can do

Cillian

i don’t deserve him, i really don’t.

i’ve never felt so useless in my entire life.

ellie.

youre not useless

but i get you, i really do

Cillian

i can’t even fucking walk correctly. i can’t work. i can’t do anything

and i don’t know that i’ve ever like, really wanted to be better. but fuck. he deserves more than this.

ellie.

no no dont think like that

if you want to do anything about becoming more educated or some shit like that you have to do it for YOU because YOU deserve better

Cillian

it was hard enough the first time around. i’m just not cut out for it.

ellie.

i just think you havent found the right motivation

Cillian

and what’s that? the right motivation?

ellie.

idk how to describe it

like when i was in college i would think about graduating and being independent and it got me through boring classes and shit like that

so yeah. maybe what you need is motivation

Cillian

i know this is dumb. and it’s gonna get me an eye roll or something. but it’s just so much easier... to not.

ellie.

no its not dumb

but like. sometimes the things that are worth it arent the easy ones

Cillian

i just don’t want to fail again.

ellie.

bad news, youre gonna

Cillian

you’re all sunshine and rainbows this evening

ellie.

im tipsyyy

and also giving it to u straight

ur gonna fail bc failing is just. part of the human experience

but !! ur also gonna succeed my dude

Cillian

i guess you don’t know if you don’t try.

ellie.

also idk i think ur fear is valid and it happens to me too

so i just think itd be bullshit to tell u like <3 ur not gonna fail <3 everything will work out <3

Cillian

yeah. i wouldn’t believe you if you said that anyways.

ellie.

yeah exactly so like

the best thing i can say is that when you think that youre gonna fail just. try to think the opposite

Cillian

easier said than done

but i appreciate the advice

ellie.

yeah i know it is

no problem buddy <3 anytime

#texts → cillian & ellie #discord #i love these two sm

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reeree1500 · 5 years

Text

The Return- Part 10

Disclaimer: YALL IM SO SO SO SORRY.😭😭 I have been horrible and not updated this story for at least a month.😬 I can explain though... University has been kicking my ass and between that and my co-op placement at a law firm.😅 Ive had absolutely no time to do anything😩 BTW IVE MISSED YALL SO MUCH❤️And Ive read all your messages and asks. And yes my mental health is now better and y'all are so understanding and supportive 💕 honestly could not have asked for a better group of individuals☺️❤️

Part 1 part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 part 8 part 9 Part 11

Anyways onto the storyyyyy.....

Warnings: ANGSTY AF (kinda figured out that im probably a smut and angst writer at this point🤷🏽‍♀️), sucky ass grammar and spelling like always, my cliche imagination and the fact that Im probably a horrible human being😬😩 Also made it extra long cuz I felt baddd

PLEASE DONT KILL ME FOR THIS ONE😬

Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @oceans-daughter-3 @peaceisadirtyword @laketaj24 @camatsuru @youbloodymadgenius @calum-hoodwinked-me @cutegyrl927 @wuxiesalt @readsalot73 @cindy-exo @affection-rabbit @amy8220 @mel0nch0ly @queenofallthyfandoms @limbo-limbo-limbo @ragnarssonsbitch @supernaturalvikingwhore @ifihadwings128 @paintballkid711 @jenny-the-lover @funmadnessandbadassvikings @blonddnamedhandz @hallowed-heathen @pinkrockstar19 @ivarthethiccness

Sorry if I missed any of you💕 Lemme know if you want to be tagged. Also requests are open, and I’ve got a ton of them to do and finish. Hopefully Ill be able to post them soon enough

Arthur’s POV

“Arthur please! Open the door my love, I know what it may seem like to you, but I assure you that its not.” (Y/n) pleaded from the other side. I sat down on the mattress in our chamber contemplating whether or not it was true. Should I believe what my wife so desperately is trying to reassure me off. Or should I stick with my gut feeling and tell her how I have felt for the last 4 years. Her constant pounding on the door finally gets to me and I make my way to open it. “I wish to be left alone at the moment (y/n).” Her arms circle around my waist and I can feel her face wetting by back with tears. “Arthur please, talk to me. Why have you run off. You know that I love you. I do not want him, all he does is bring me pain and you take that away. So please, talk to me!” (y/n) murmurs into my back. As much as it pains me to do so I pry her hands off of me and sit us down on the bed. All I do is long for her touch, but this is not okay. I cannot keep feeling this way and go on pretending that I could have ever stood a chance against him. “(y/n), look at me. I love you and I always will. But its evident that you love him. and I honestly can say that I know I will never stand a chance against him, because the thought of you possibly running back to him has always been on my mind since the day we got married.”

Her eyes showed so much pain that confessing this felt as if I was driving a knife through her heart. “Arthur, I love you. What can I do to show you that. Yes I confess that I was in love with him, but that was long ago and I have left it in the past in order to build a future with you. Whom I love and who I share and will continue to share beautiful children with. So please don't shut me out, Arthur.” She says leaning our foreheads together and holding my face in her gentle hands. “Ok, however I want to be able to process things by myself. So I have decided to have the guest room across the hall prepared only until I figure things out.” With out giving her a chance to fight back, I place my lips on hers and savour the kiss as if it were our last. Meeting her eyes was something I wanted to avoid as I knew that just looking at her broken expression would make me change my mind. I hastily make my way out of the room, but sneak a quick glance over my shoulder to find my wife staring off into the direction where I once sat. With tears streaming down her eyes...

Your POV

What had I done? Why was I such fool to not see what my husband was clearly going through? Millions of questions rushed into my mind about how to go about this situation. I loved Arthur, I was clear on that. But he spoke the truth, there was something in me that could not let Ivar go and it took hurting my husband and Ivar to figure that out. As I sulked I forgot about the doctor whom I had asked to see me earlier. I was having really bad stomach pains and my breasts were more tender then they had ever been. So I wanted to make sure that I was not sick, as that would have been the last thing I needed on my plate at the moment. “My Queen, are you alright? Do you wish to push back this appointment, I dont mind coming by later when you're better.” The doctor spoke from behind me. “Yes, it seems so. Ill let the servant girl know if I need you doctor. Im sorry for the inconvenience.” “Nonsense your majesty, it is my pleasure to serve you.” With a bow the doctor retreats from the room and Im left to my own thoughts once again...

----------------------------------

“(y/n), wake up... its seems that you fell asleep on the floor. Come on I’ll help you up.” Upon hearing Hvitty’s comforting voice my eyes flutter open and I cant help the tears that song come down my face like a cascade. “(y/n)! are you alright are you hurt anywhere? Why are you crying?” Hvitserk’s eyes scan my face and my body looking for the source of my pain, which is held in my heart, but he’ll never know that. “Arthur... He...” I try to find the words to say. “What! What did he do! Did he hurt you? I swear ill kill him!” With that Hvitserk tries to let me go and run out the door, but somehow I manage to stop him. “Hvitserk, No! He didn't hurt me. I hurt him... He believes that Im in love with Ivar, and I fear that their maybe some truth to it...” I say just above a whisper, with my head held low. “(Y/N), Ive known that since before you were married. It was obvious, but I would never say anything to you because I found that it was best if I kept such observations to myself, before I found out about your father.” Lifting my head and staring directly at him, I move my head to the side with a puzzling look. “What do you mean about my father, Hvitserk?” Hvitserk now mirrors the same lost look that I have on my face. “I thought thats why you and Ivar had gotten together, because Ragnar’s not your father...”

----------------------------------------------

Ivar’s POV

“Aghhhh!”Is the sound that comes out of my gritted teeth when the medicinal herbs are placed on my face. “That hurts like a bitch, get out! Ill do this myself if I have to. GO!” I yell at the servant girl who tried to cleanse and tend to the cuts on my face. “Ivar, please let the servants tend to you. I still cannot believe that Arthur punched you in the face. Hehehe, you deserved it though, how could you question the paternity of his children and not expect him to want to kill you?” Bjorn laughs as he chugs the rest of his drink down. “Well, if you actually cared about your children and the heir to your throne, you’d also be quite upset to find a Christian King claiming to be their father. Those children are mine! And its pretty evident, just look at Marjorie. She's my spitting image.” I snarl at him as the anger begins to rise in me again. “Ivar, thats your mistake and why you’ll never get (y/n) back. You believe that everything should be yours. And that people are things you can govern over, but they're not. Because those are children. And yes they may be yours, but you cannot take away what they have known because you want to be selfish.” He says with a stern look on his face, whilst getting up from his chair and making his way to the door. “Now get ready and fix yourself we have a intimate dinner to attend to with MY sister and the love of your life.” Unbeknownst to us, there was Freydis on the balcony listening to our whole conversation. And little did I know that it would come to be the thing I regretted the most.

At the dinner I notice (y/n) sit on the opposite side of the table from Arthur. This wouldn't have affected me if it wasn't for the look on both of their faces. They seemed distraught and broken. Arthur masked it well, but (y/n) was an open book for all of us to know exactly how she felt at that moment. Not much talking happened, besides Marjorie and Erik shouting at each other on who was better at riding. They reminded me a lot of myself and all I wanted was to tell them the truth, that they were my children and that they would go back to Kattegat with me to learn about the true gods and not the fable that had been told to them about their so called ‘God’.” “(Y/n) are you alright, you do not seem quite like yourself tonight.” Bjorn states with a concerned look that we all share. Even Arthur looks a bit concerned, but his body language makes it seem as if he is alright and nothing is wrong. “Sarah, could you please put Marjorie and Erik to bed? Its getting late for them and they have their lessons early in the morning.” She says with a stern and cold look in her (e/c) eyes. “Su...sure your majesty. “ At that Bjorn stands up as if to accompany Sarah, but is quickly stopped by (y/n)’s icy glare and venomous words. “Sit your ass down.” At that we all look astonished, but Hvitserk only stares at her with sadness and what seems to be sympathy. He must know why she is like this then.

Bjorn slowly sits back down on the table. A shocked look graces his face, as he cannot comprehend why she is acting this way towards her beloved older brother. “How long.” Is all she grits out through her teeth. “What do you mean, (y/n)?” My eyes meet Hvitserk’s own and the realization dawns upon me. She knows...

--------------------------

Your POV

“Stop with the bullshit! I cannot take anyone else lying to me!” I scream as I bang my hands against the table, stunning everyone in sight. “How long did you know that Ragnar was not my father! How long have you kept the truth from me! How long have you known that Athelstan was my father!” I could careless about everyone staring at me as if I was a mad woman. I had been lied to my whole life. All I had known had been a lie, and the people who I trusted the most in this world had been the ones keeping it a secret from me. “(Y/N)... I..I’ve know since the moment you were born. But father had sworn me into secrecy and I could not break a promise. This doesn't change anything though. You are still my sister and you will always be.” Bjorn says in a haste as tries to come closer to me, but I step back and move as far back as I can. “Did you know? Tell me! Ivar did you know that we were not siblings!” Ivar didn't even have to answer. I knew from the look in his eyes that he too had been lying to me.

“I knew.” Arthur says staring right at me. “I knew that you weren't his daughter and I knew that Ivar wasn't your brother. But I kept that information from you because all I wanted to do was have you by my side. I’m sorry, for the pain I have caused you (y/n). Im sorry for being selfish and not telling you the truth, but I now see that I was wrong and as of tomorrow you are free to go back to your country. I promise that your title and lands will not be taken from you or from the children. May they be mine or his. But I cannot go on with this facade anymore.” Arthur says in the most calm demeanour as he stands up and comes to me. “You hypocrite! How dare you make me feel like shit for harbouring feelings for Ivar when you knew all along and knew that my whole life was a lie.” I scream as I run at him and slap him across the face. But before I can get another punch in I feel a strong grip holding me from behind. From the shocks and the utter feeling in my stomach I knew it could have only been Ivar. As I try desperately to release from his vice grip, my whole world comes crashing down when Sarah enters the room. With blood all over her.

“Your highnesses...Erik.... he.. he..” She tries to say through her shock. “What! What is wrong with my son!” Ivar, Arthur and I scream at the same time. “He.. he’s dying!”

------------------------------------------------

We all simultaneously run after Sarah towards the doctors quarters. Ivar with his brace on, manages to run faster than all of us and busts the doors wide open. if I wasn't so worried about my son or upset about the fact they all knew Ragnar wasn't my father, I would've been impressed. “What are you doing! Get away from my son!” At that Ivar rushes towards the doctor who is bleeding Erik out. Grabbing him by the collar he slams the doctor on the wall and his sclera go into bluish hue, showing that he is in danger of breaking a bone. “Ivar stop it! Let the man go, he is just trying to help.” “Help my ass! I will not let you harm my son, do you understand me! I will not let you harm him!” At that Ivar lets the doctor go, but not without staring him down. And the doctor looking like he is about to shit himself. Rushing to Erik’s side I notice something strange. The colour of his skin is now fading and his eyes have bags under them. But what hits me the most is the memory of Uncle Rollo teaching me about poison. “He doesn't need to be bled, he needs medicine. He’s been poisoned...”

“Mama! What is wrong with Erik! He will be okay right? He has to be okay!” Marjorie begins to say as she shakes with fear. Before Arthur or I could say something to console her, Ivar bends down and takes her hands in his. “Marjorie, listen to me. Your brother is a fighter and so are you. After all were related aren't we?” Ivar says as he lifts her chin. “Yes..I suppose that we are. Is it true what they say though? Are you our father?” At that Ivar turns to me looking towards me for permission. At this point I think to myself how hard it was to learn my whole life had been a lie and that I would not want that for my children, so I nod. “Yes, Marjorie I am your father. And no your mother is not my sister. It was something that we had to say because she needed to be kept safe.” He says ever so calmly. “Safe from who?”She questions “From my mother. Your grandmother.”

Cough*Cough* Spurts of blood cover me in seconds. My attention becomes focused in on my son again. “Where is the damn antidote! Please someone hurry!” At that Hvitserk runs into the room with a small green vial. “Here take this it should help him. Lagertha gave it to me before her and father left. Something about it would come in handy some day. Here.” Shoving the vial in my hands I open it quickly and lift Erik’s head. “Drink this Erik. It should help you, my darling. Please be strong, I know you're scared, but you’ll be alright ok. Everything will be ok.” I say through tears. Today had been the worst day by far. “Mira... please help my son. I know you're always with me, but please help me now. Pray for my son and ask God to save him.”

----------------------------------------

A few hours had gone by and nobody had moved from the room. Arthur sat on the chair next to the bed with his elbows on his knees, looking straight and focused in on Erik. Bjorn and Hvitserk sat by the fireplace and were wetting some towels so that we could place them atop Eriks head. I sat on the bed next to my son and caressed his beautiful face hoping for a miracle. I had dismissed Sarah and told her to take Marjorie with her, but she would not budge. Sarah left, but Marjorie stayed and sat in Ivars lap asking him if Erik would pull through. Ivar was sweet to answer as best as he could, and I could tell that he truly cared for his children even if his demeanour wasn't the greatest. I knew that deep in my heart I would have to let him get to know them, but it still hurt especially knowing that he now was married. “Wait, where is Freydis? I haven't seen her since yesterday.” I say looking towards Ivar. “I dont know earthier to be honest, she's probably looking at some damn flowers anyway. Its best if she's far away anyway.” “Why would you say that about your wi-” “she's not my wife, at least not yet. Were not actually married, (y/n). I just said that to piss you off.” Taking a deep breath I go to stand up from the bed in order to fetch a bucket of water and some new cloths. Instead I end up on the floor cradling my belly, with a burning sensation in my chest and blood pouring out from my mouth. “(Y/n)! Mama!” I can hear the shouts around me. “Fetch the doctor! Now hurry!” The voices around me begin to fade and not before long I can feel myself drifting away.

“My baby... Save my baby...” And with that everything turns pitch black...

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theyrejustadream-away · 6 years

Text

Soulmate!Jimin

Park Jimin; fluff

Happy late birthday Jimin! We love you!

Word count: 1769

Alright yall welcome to my first official bullet scenario

Let’s see how this goes

Ok anyways

It’s Jimin’s birthday and I wanna do something special for him

I hope he gets better,, i know it isn’t serious but still

And the whole soulmate AU is something i love wholeheartedly and i want to write one

Let’s get it (imagine jungkook saying that)

So Jimin’s a junior in college

Jimin is pretty well known on campus for his dancing and although he isn’t as outgoing or social as Taehyung or Jungkook, he still is pretty popular

Mainly because he’s hot but

So being a junior, he basically knows most of the “secrets” on campus

Like where to hang out, study, eat breakfast, you name it and he’ll tell you

Oh yeah he’s such a sweetheart

Will walk you to where you need to go if it’s dark out

Carries your books if you look like you’re about to drop them

The whole “prince charming” deal, it’s understandable if hordes of girls chase after him

Who wouldnt, right?

Welp with the creation of the Soulmate System, it sorta gets rid of the idea of unnecessary crushes

Which seems sad BUT it reduces heartbreak and all the sad stuff that comes from failed relationships

So the way it works is that everyone has a black rectangle on the inside of their left wrist

And everytime they speak to their soulmate, the rectangle gets lighter and lighter until you can read the name

Of course there are flaws and your soulmate might have a different person on their wrist or you just never end up meeting them

But we aren’t gonna talk about that, this is going to be a happy one!!

Back to Jimin

As i was saying, he always knows what places to hit up

And of course, the only way to know this is if he goes there himself

One day, he finished his last class of the day and stepped outside only to get hit with a strong gust of wind and a sudden chill

Its F A L L

Which means cafes!! Warm drinks!! Sweaters!!

Once he composes himself and fixes his hair, he starts wandering through the city surrounding his college

After drifting from place to place, he finally spots a small coffee shop that’s hidden by a fancy department store

Like it’s literally right next to the store but it’s so minimalistic that you just dont really notice it

But he does!!

So he goes in and he’s just met with warmth and soft piano melodies coming from above and the smell of something sweet in the oven and he just melts

This is exactly what he needs

Walking up to the counter, he looks at the menu and decides to get something simple

Because if this place cant make a good cappuccino then it fails in his eyes

Speaking of eyes

As he was collecting his change from the cashier, you just happened to walk in for your shift

And boy did his heart do a weird thing in his chest and he just couldnt take his eyes off of you

Honestly you were just in your uniform (white button down, navy apron, dark pants, hair up) and not in the best of moods because you may or may not have forgotten to turn on the alarm and was late for your first class

Always double check your alarms friends

Basically you were just not looking your best at the moment

But did Jimin think that?

N O PE

The poor boy almost left his wallet at the counter because he just couldnt stop looking at you

Although that may sound creepy at first, it was more of a ‘who is this angel in front of me’ stare with eyes bright and shining to the point where it was just endearing

That didnt stop the person behind him from coughing and letting him know that there is a full line right behind him ohmygod jimIN MOVE

You, on the other hand, didn’t notice a thing and went to your station where you made drinks and call out people’s names and all that jazz

He picked a seat near the back of the cafe after he ordered, where he had a view of everything

And by everything, i mean you

“She’s so pretty wow i want to talk to her but what if she thinks im weird??? What would i even say? How would i eve-”

“Jimin? Your order is ready”

“Ohmygod she said my name what do i do??”

“Jimin? Is there a Jimin here?”

“Ye-Yes!”

His voice cracks and he feels his face heat up

Gone is the charming and confident Jimin

Hello to the shy and clumsy Jimin

The poor boy almost spills his drink because he’s nervous and his voice already cracked and you’re giggling

Bless your soul for trying to hide it behind your hand and spare him the embarrassment

But you laughing isn’t helping because now he’s even more red and thinking ‘wow your laugh is so cute can you literally get any more adorable’

“Does coffee make you this nervous?”

“No, it’s the cute girl giving it to me”

He’s thankful that he didn’t embarrass himself anymore and somewhat recovered

Because now you’re the blushing one (he’s still a little pink from before but he decided he enjoys seeing you flustered more than anything)

Eventually he had to leave because wow it’s late and he still has homework to do

So he sadly walks out, taking a glance at where you were working but you were busy with another customer so you didn’t see him look at you

BUT he comes back almost everyday just to see you

It does a number on his wallet but hey, who needs money when you’re in college, right?

I’m kidding being a college kid is so expensive ohmygod

Everytime he comes by, he always tries to make you blush or laugh

Maybe at the same time

He just wants to get to know you better because you’re a really sweet person and he has this urge to hold your hand or hug you or kiss you but he pushes it down

At the same time, the mark on the inside of his wrist has been getting lighter and lighter

He can faintly make out the name hidden and he oh so desperately wants it to be you

You, on the other hand, could read the name on your wrist

Guess what?

It says Jimin!

You were so happy the day you found out

And when you saw him the next day you were just !!!!!!!

But he didn’t say anything about it.. Not even a small hint to let you know he knew

So you were confused

Did he just not like you in that way?

Or even worse

What if you weren’t his soulmate?

You confided in your best friend once you got back home after seeing him

“He didn’t even mention the mark? What if it isn’t my name?”

“Does he know your name?”

“..I think he does?”

“Wait how are you not sure??? Haven’t you guys been talking for a month now?”

A few days passed and Jimin still doesnt know your name

But his wrist says ‘Y/N’ and he can’t remember anyone with that name

So he decides that today is the day he’ll ask you for your name

Because he’s also worried that he isnt your soulmate

You knew his name already, and if he was destined to be yours why hadn’t you told him?

Did you not like him?

He kept stressing over it for hours on end and his roommate finally told him to go out and ask

Although it was just to stop Jimin from pacing around their shared dorm and making his roommate dizzy from all his sudden movements

And being Jimin, he dresses up and styles his hair

To be honest, if you hadn’t already fallen for him then you definitely did when he walked through the doors

“If your man taking you out on a date, he looks hOT”

“Jackson shut up i swear i’m going to spill hot coffee on yo- hi Jimin!��

It all goes according to plan at first

He hasn’t embarrassed himself or had his voice crack

He goes and waits near you, and since there weren’t many customers you could talk to him without having another cranky customer yell at you

looking at you, old man who came in and ordered hot water. who even does that what it wrong with you

You were still a little upset that he hadn’t mentioned anything about his mark

But you acted as if nothing was wrong

So when he just says “What’s your name?” without even saying hi, your heart sort of knew what was going to happen before you did

It started beating faster and a smile was threatening to show but before you did anything dumb, you answered

“y/n… why?”

And he gives the brightest smile, like the Sun can fight me because Jimin’s smile outshines it in this very moment

“Because I think you’re meant to be mine”

Cue the various aww’s coming from your coworkers and that sweet old couple who’s been shipping the both of you ever since Jimin brought you a lily he saw on his way that ‘reminded him of you’

Jackson also starts screaming a little and jumping because finally you two pieced it altogether

Jackson knew ever since you asked him about your whole dilemma because once you took a sick day and he ended up talking to Jimin

And coincidentally saw Jimin’s wrist and went :D

But he couldn’t say anything because he wanted the both of you to reach that conclusion on your own

Still, it was really obvious that there was something there

Back to Jimin and you,,

As soon as he said that you ran around the counter and tackled him in a huge hug

Jimin didn’t see that coming but he caught you in time and he sort of stumbled back but who cares because ohmygod he finally gets to hug you

This is all he’s been dreaming of

He feels so warm and soft and smells a little like peppermint and you can hear his heart beating just as fast and yours and his whole body is shaking with laughter because he really can’t do anything other than smile and laugh

He’s hugging you tightly and everything felt right in the world

Jimin found his other half and you found yours too!

hope you enjoyed <3

#park jimin #bts #jimin #bts jimin #bts fluff #jimin fluff #bullet scenario #fluff #soulmate au #love yourself #FIRST ONE ON THE NEW ACCOUNT #ESKETIT

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streetkook · 3 years

Text

RUT|| kth x jjk

↳ summary : taehyung, the tiger hybrid has always had a crush on jungkook, the bunny hybrid. All it takes is a desperate time packed with VERY desperate measures for them to join hands.

↳ pairing: tiger hybrid!kth x bunny hybrid!jjk

↳genre: hybrid!au, uhh i guess humor, pretty much no angst and thats about it.

previous | next

word count:666

|6| cause you’re really my dearest friend

previous | next

basically this is just a peek into the life after the book so the afterparty if you will, thank me when this book becomes famous and you guys suddenly want more fluff 🙄 look at me predicting the future yall are amateurs compared to me 😭✋🏽

2020 vision who?

one year later

its been one year since me and taehyung got married, and i can honestly say he's changed..

in a good way of course, i mean he was always caring and protective but ever since my first week of pregnancy, those traits have heightened, which i could partially be the reason for that, because i have been working him like a dog...

maybe they should get a dog so then he could work the dog like a dog because technically thats what dogs are for..? wait no.. that's entirely wrong.

anyway..

i dont do it on purpose, its just that... if he wants to make sure im at ease and comfortable while caring his child, he needs to make sure to satisfy my cravings.

and NO NOT SEXUAL CRAVINGS, i actually havent been in the mood for sex since ive became pregnant, im just not comfortable being naked anymore.

i mean, my body has changed, like... changed changed, my belly is all big and swollen, and my face is all oily and glowy.

taehyung says it makes me look like a model but i.. i dont like it! In fact, i could even go as far as to say i hate it!

i like being pregnant, obviously, i just hate the things that happen to my body because of it. and not to mention, we already have a child.

haewon, a three year old satan spawn.

"mommy!.. mommy!!.. why's you're tummy so fat?" a curious voice speaks, as jungkook turns away from the stove to look at the source of the voice.

haewon, the devil in human form.

jungkook sighs in aspiration, he was trying to make this child some dinosaur nuggets because he wouldn't stop bugging him about it, taehyung was in his office trying to get some paperwork done, leaving his pregnant partner with their brat of a son.

even the child thinks he's fat

"haewon, thats not nice! you don't call your mother or anyone for that matter fat!" jungkook says, getting angry at the child but knowing he's only three.

"sorry mommy! the more polite term is obese, daddy taught me that." he says, nodding as if he's correcting himself.

"what?! god taehyung is such an idiot" jungkook mentally face palms, and lays a hand on his belly.

he tells haewon to go play with his toys in the living room, which is right across from the kitchen.

as jungkook is putting the dinosaur shaped nuggets into the oven, taehyung comes down.

"oh great, you're finally finished, don't go teaching haewon any new words." jungkook suggests politely or attempting to sound polite.

taehyung scrunches his face up in confusion

“what? i didn’t teach haewon-”

"-the child called me fat, and when i told him it was rude, he substituted it for obese! so now, im not just fat! im fat and obese!" jungkook exclaims dramatically, he was really taking it seriously.

he had already been having body image problems, and for a three year old child to call him out really made him feel a certain way.

taehyung is about to chuckle, until he sees the slightly visible water gathering in jungkook's eyes.

taehyung walks up behind jungkook with open arms, "aww baby, you know he didn't mean it! he's just a kid, your body is beautiful okay?" taehyung kisses jungkooks cheek as a grouchy jungkook holds back the urge to smile at the gesture.

"he did mean it!" jungkook argues, he knows haewon probably didn't even know what he was talking about and probably was just asking a genuine question.

"sorry again baby, and do you smell something burning?"

classic burning scene is it hot in here or is it you 🔥🔥🔥🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

cringe 😬

#part 2 lol #hes just #purple #pop music #plushies #punk #pink #1950s #pastel #pastry #nct #pie #putting

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icarus-tirade · 3 years

Text

4.29.2021

Oh boi, do I have a shit tonight

1.) My mom pissed me off so badly cause HOW ARE YOU GONNA WAIT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE TO TELL ME THE PLAN FOR PAYING FOR MY HOUSING FOR COLLEGE?! I ASKED FOR THAT SHIR LAST WEEK AND WE WENT THROUGH LIKE A 3 DAY PROCESS (something that should only take 1 day mind you) SO YOU COULD GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!! I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEEDED AND YOU HOLD IN YOUR PLAN UNTIL I FUCKING CALL YOU* AND ASK ABOUT IT AND I FIND OUT THAT YOU HAD DAD DOING IT BUT NEVER TOLD HIM THE FUCKING PLAN?! AND THEN HAVE THE GALLLLLL TO ACT RIMID LIKE IT'S NOT YOUR FUXKIN FAULT THAT NO ONE BUT YOU KNOWS THE PLAN!! AND WHY ARE YOU ACTING BRAND NEW??? Usually what happens when I need money for school is, parents put money on my credit card and then I pay for stuff but this time MOM IS TRYING TO PAY DIRECTLY THROUGH THE SCHOOL?! AND NOT INVOLVE ME, which would be fine IF SHE DIDN'T FUXK IT UP COMPLETELY!!! She tells me it's all been taken care of by dad when I call her today and so I ask to talk to dad cause he sent me some snacks and I wanna say thank you right? So after talking to dad about the snacks he asks me for a link to the school so he can pay for the housing... meaning it hasn't been done yet. And I'm like, well... I'll just type out the convo

Dad: I need a link to the payment thing so I can pay for housing

Me: What link?

Dad: You sent me all your info, and thank you for that, but I need the link too. I don't know what to do and where to go

Me still confused: mom asked for that stuff so I sent it, I don't know why she wanted it and I don't know what link you're talking about

So finally dad calls mom into the room because we BOTH don't know what's happening and that's when mom has a small voice all of a sudden and is like "I thought we could just pay through the school" AND SO NOW IM PISSED AND STRESSED CAUSE IM DESPERATELY LOOKING THROUGH MY EMAIL ANS THE SCHOOL WEBISTE FOR A PAY DESTINATION WHILE TRYING TO KEEP THE ANGER OUTTA MY VOICE AND MY ANGRY/STRESSED TEARS AT BAY DURING MY CONVERSATION WITH THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE STILL TALKING TO MEEEE!!! THEN I FIND IT AND THEY ADD THE MONEY TO MY CARD (my card that's in the truck cause I left it outside by accident) so I put them on hold and run around looking for the keys that papa had in his pocket and Jammie is trying to get me to calm down and explain but I'm pissed and stressed so that's just making it worse* so I pay (and send them a picture of the receipt that mom wants cause I guess she don't trust me now even though I've done nothing to deserve this lack of trust with school money so fuxk her) after getting my shit and go back to talking to dad who I don't wanna talk to anymore cause I'm fed up and trying not to cry

2.) YOU*: they usually call me at least once a week but they been mad silent since last week which is no Bueno cause I need to know if I have the money or not to pay for the fucking fee OR if they have paid for it SO FUXKING CALL ME CAUSE I AINT TRYIN TO CALL YOU! THEY ALWAYS LACKIN WHEN IT COMES TO DOING SHIT FOR ME. I asked mom WEEKS ago if she could get a refill on my medicine and so when I check in today she NOW wants to tell me that there's been complications cause I'm 18 so I kinda need to do it. AGAIN I'd be fine with that IF SHE AINT WAIT THIS LONG DURING ALLERGY SEASON!! THIS IS SHIT I GOTTA KNOW SO WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING THIS LONG TO SAY SOMETHING?!

3.) Worse*: Jammie LOVES to talk about how trash my dad is depressed or bipolar (he's fuckin not so I really wished she'd stop saying that, IM bipolar so I know he's not she doesn't even know what she's talking about and it irritates me). So when she had me explain what's happening and I rant about mom fucking everything up she starts blaming dad??? She says that they planned what to say when I called and how to act and that my dad is orchestrating the whole thing like,,, no? Were you even listening to me??? So I repeat that MOM is acting brand new and dad and I don't understand what's happening but she continues to tell me that it's dad who's the blame. I tell her dad is not the only bad guy and is not ALWAYS the bad guy, I know he's shit alot of times but he's not always bad he was a good dad once and he still has his good dad moments, but she REFUSES to listen to me! And keeps blaming him and I KNOW it's cause she doesn't wanna view mom, he daughter, as a bad person and wants to put all the blame on dad BUT THATS NOT TRUE AND IM TIRED OF HER PRETENDING!! LISTEN TO WHAT THE FUXK IM SAYING AND STOP LIVING IN YOUR DELUSIONS!

4.) Dad and I were talking and it was fine UNTIL HE SAID HIS DUMBASS STATEMENT ABOUT ME BEEING TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE!!! Ever sense I've gotten diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder he's taken that and RAN with it. But he uses it in the sense that sometimes I'm calm and sometimes I'm angry and just negative (disrespectful, argumentive, defiant, indifferent, and rude) BUT THATS NOW WHAT BIPOLAR IS. Its basically on and off depression and mania. But his favorite statement is "I don't know which you I'm getting" LIKE BITCH SHUT THE FUXK UP YOU CANT EVEN TELL WHEN IM SAD EVEN WHEN I HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES YOUR DUMBASS THINKS I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND THEN YOU GET MAD AT ME AND MAKE IT WORSE! He's never said his "favorite statement" UNTILL I got diagnosed so I KNOW IT'S CAP. YOU DONT KNOW ME SO DONT PRETEND YOU UNDERSTAND ME ALL OF A SUDDEN! YOU'RE FAKE AS FUXK! And this was all sparked because I asked if I could watch a show now that I'm 18 and he was like "Wow! She's respectful!" BITCH IVE ALWAYS BEEN RESPECTFUL IM JOT ACTING NEW IM ACTING THE SAME SO WHY ARE YOU TRIPPIN' ??? He said he was surprised I asked because he didn't think I cared about their opinion but literally thats all I cared about!? I acted and behaved in a way that would make them happy and praise me because I constantly wanted validation that I was a good kid, that they loved and cared for me, and that I wasn't a problem and inconvenience because I was alive. SO HE'S FUCKIN STUPID AND THAT PISSED ME OFF AFTER I CALMED DOWN. "I dOnT kNoW wHaT yOu Im GetTiNG" LIKE BITCH AHUT THE FUXK UP!! YOU SOUND MAD STUPID

5.) Broski if you see this, I wanna explain my "cowardice" earlier today. Look bro, I view my rant Tumblr as a diary of some sorts. That's why I changed my little description/bio to a quote joke about Journaling from my therapist cause I view this as my Journaling so I can better manage my feelings and get them out in a way that's not harmful to me. With that being said, announcing "Lets read ______ tumblr" is gonna immediately activate my fight or flight. These rants are private and personal to me. I've literally described it as like take a trip or look into the doors of my mind. Sharing my feelings and opinions are always scary to me because I'm afraid of being looked at in a negative light you know cause childhood trauma. You know I'm afraid to share my feelings bro. Let's uh, go back to the question "How much do you trust your friends" and I trust yall a Hella lot but I don't trust ANYONE 100% with my feelings except me. NO ONE. So with that being said, knowing that'd you he actively reading my rant Tumblr with me there was too much and I didn't like it at all. I find that extremely stressful and it made me wanna instantly draft all my recent shit. The main reason I let you look at this Tumblr is because I DONT KNOW WHEN you're looking at it. You might not see it until weeks later so I don't worry about it, you might forget all about it, but if you tell me you're currently reading it or when you're going to read it, then my anxiety kicks in and I panic and fight the urge to edit everything and hide anything that might stand out as weird or bad to anyone else. So yeah, please never let me know you're about to read my rant Tumblr again unless I tell you to specifically look at a post :) also the reason I didn't text you this was because 1.) I never really planned to explain myself cause I didn't feel like I owed anyone an explanation and it was hard/long to type out or say anyways and 2.) Because of the stuff that happened in sections 1, 2, 3, and 4. I didn't feel like talking to anyone after that.

#i spelled fuck like fuxk because i was typing fast and didnt feel like correcting myself

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