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#with things or people who are actually involved in the things they are talking about
bellawoso · 7 hours
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girls
aitana bonmati x fem!reader
desc: kinda implicit smut but not much, still rated 16+ please!! also kinda short - im sorry its exam season and im dying 😭😭
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aitana knew from a young age that she was into girls, when her highschool friends spent their free time talking about boys, she could never find it in herself to involve herself in the conversation. not many people knew about her sexuality, only ona and keira had a slight idea of it, after seeing aitana go home with a woman on one of the team night outs. if anyone asked aitana about her sexuality, she wouldnt lie, she would tell them confidentially that she was a lesbian, she wasnt ashamed of who she was after all.
the reason why hardly anyone knew, was that aitana didnt do relationships. most people on the team already knew that, aitana prioritised football over everything especially after 2023 ended, and as the awards kept stacking up, her winning mentality only increased, she put all of her time into making herself better.
that didnt make the spaniard inexperienced in the sexual aspects, and was never one to turn down a woman at the bar, but aitana preferred to skip the flirting, and get out of the club as soon as possible, especially before someone like mapi saw, who aitana knew would tease her all day at training.
however, since you joined the team, aitana didnt care about mapi seeing anymore, and instead focused on trying to not let you see, aitana wasnt sure why she was so against the idea of you knowing she was going home with another woman. but each time the midfielder spotted you sat down, laughing with your fellow lionesses at the table, the midfielder couldnt help but feel guilty as she let the other woman tug her towards the door.
as aitanas hookups increased, so did the pit of betrayal at the bottom of her stomach. but after one night, when thoughts of you plagued her mind as a girl that she didnt even know the name of came undone on her fingers, she knew she had to stop. normally, aitana lasted a few rounds, however this time her skills in the bedroom couldnt change her hookups mind, as aitana did the walk of shame out of this girls house after accidentally moaning your name as she came.
aitana did stop though, nearing around 4 months without a single girl, however the longer the period of time she spent without anyone, the more time she spent daydreaming of you. the main issue was that aitana was hardly even friends with you, sure the two of you had chemistry on the pitch, but off the pitch, the spaniard had no idea about you. aitana could just go on google or youtube to find out some facts about you and watch your interviews (which she had already done) however, anyone could find this out about you, aitana wanted to know things that the internet didnt. and to do that, she needed to try talk to you.
———
aitana liked to think of herself as a confident person, it took a lot of courage to heartlessly tell someone that they are nothing more than a hookup, but aitana hadnt thought about the fact that she had never had to see those women again. if you rejected her, then aitana would still have to see you each day at training, and she didnt think she could live with the embarrassment and awkwardness of that.
so she decided to first ask you to get a coffee with her after training, she knew lucy had brought you to training, so she could give you a lift back as well. aitanas plan was to befriend you first, and then try figure out if you reciprocated her feelings or not.
so when aitana decided she would offer to spot you, she didnt anticipate her body freezing up with nerves as she was about to ask you, which unluckily happened at the same time you failed your rep and actually needed aitanas help.
due to your intense sets, you were breathing unevenly as you tried to get aitanas attention, except gasping out “tana” didnt help the brunette anymore. instead her face blushed crimson, the spaniards pent up neediness for an orgasm from somebody other than herself was getting to her, and her mind couldnt help but think of how good you sounded saying her name.
her short daze was broken by you once again saying her name, as she quickly took the bar off you, repeating “lo siento” as you still gasped for air. when you grabbed onto the brunettes bicep for support, struggling to hold your self up after having your oxygen supply restricted for too long. you couldnt help but notice the muscle flexing unconsciously below your fingertips, which only seemed to make you feel more lightheaded.
“dios mio aitana, are you trying to kill me?” you wheezed out with a raspy chuckle, only to be met with silence from the midfielder and her holding up your water bottle to you. “you know im not mad at you, right tana?” you asked the spaniard, uncomfortable at the thought of her thinking your mad at her. “si, yes i know y/n, are you sure your okay?” she asked, as she gathered the courage to start rubbing comforting circles on your back. only when ona came up to the two of you, asking the both of you what happened accompanied with a knowing glance shot at aitana, did her hand stop rubbing circles on your back. the brunette instead let her hand fall, so it rested dangerously low on your lower back, causing you to shiver involuntarily.
you decided to call off your gym session early, you couldnt keep aitana off your mind, and your back still tingled where her hand had once rested. aitana decided to accompany you and drive you home, claiming she “owed it to you” after almost ending your life. despite the girls actual reason to take you home being she wanted to build her friendship with you, you suspected the midfielder just felt bad. never once did it cross your mind to ask what it was that had aitana so distracted during your workout.
———
your apartment was a 10 minute drive from the training grounds, however aitana had decided to take a detour, claiming that it would be faster due to the bad traffic in barcelona. however, after almost 45 minutes in the car, you were beginning to get tired, you were having a great conversation with the brunette who currently had one hand resting on the steering wheel, expertly navigating round the quieter streets of barcelona. as you looked over at the midfielder, you couldnt help but admire her side profile, and the way her eyebrows furrowed in concentration as she tried to remember the route.
a quick glance at the street you were currently at, on the map displayed by the screen of her car, had you internally groaning in frustration as you realised you were still half an hour away from your apartment.
“aita, are we almost there? im tired” you asked the midfielder, who now had a look of shock and suprise on her face.
aitana hadnt even realised how long she had been in the car with you for, she only meant to detour and make the route 10 minutes longer, not an hour. even the detour was only so she had enough time to build her courage to ask you out for a coffee.
“oh- yeah almost y/n! uhhh- like, another.. 30 minutes?” she said sheepishly, before quickly rushing out “¿Te gustaría tomar un café conmigo mañana?”
“aita, i dont speak spanish remember? especially not at the speed you just spoke at!” you said with a laugh.
fuck. aitana thought. although she had managed to ask you out, her nervous state had completely forgot to translate it into english so that you would understand. her adrenaline of asking you was wearing off, and she felt her previous nerves almost skyrocket at the thought of having to ask you again, especially now your full attention was on her.
“uhhh- get a coffee with me? i mean- uh, would you like to? to get a coffee with me? its fine if not- uh, it can just be as friends? if we are friends that is! its fine if-“ until aitanas state of rambling was cut off by you who although found her flustered state very amusing, was starting to feel pity for the spaniard who was struggling to even form a sentence at this point.
“i would love to aitana, its a date!”
“it is?” the midfielder said, receiving an encouraging nod from you, “it is!” she said more excited now, making you laugh at her excitement.
———
to other people, it would probably look like aitana had been stood up, but in reality, she had just decided to arrive at the coffee shop an hour early to hopefully have a coffee or two before you came, and prepare herself in hope to not embarrass herself too much in front of you.
the coffee shop she had chosen was one she had been to for years, it was relatively popular amongst locals, and was a small, cozy, family owned business, that aitana had grown to love.
as soon as you walked in the shop aitana requested to meet you at, you were met with aromas of roasted coffee beans and fresh pastries, you scanned the shop for the midfielder you had grown to love, and saw her sat at a window seat, with an empty mug infront of her.
“i didnt get the time wrong did i?” you asked her, glancing at her empty cup.
“no, no- i got here early” the brunette reassured, and outstretched her arms for a welcoming hug which you quickly accepted, the midfielder wrapped her arms around you, not wasting the opportunity to have you as close as possible. equally, you werent going to pass up the chance to have aitanas arms wrapped around you, especially as they were what you spent most of your gym time admiring as you did your weights, much to esmees amusement and annoyance, who was your usual gym partner.
as you pulled apart and sat down, aitana decided to go and order the both of you another coffee, coming back with two cinnamon lattes, your eyes widening in surprise as you realise she remembered your favourite drink that you mentioned during your rambling in the car yesterday.
the date went well, and much better than aitana expected, she managed to not embarrass herself at all, and left the date with a smudge of your lipstick on her cheek where you had kissed her goodbye, that she knew she would probably cry about when she had to wipe it off later.
———
yourinstagram
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caption: owed me a coffee after almost murdering me in the gym ❤️ tagged: aitanabonmati
liked by: aitanabonmati, alexiaputellas and 23,416 others
comments:
aitanabonmati: are we even yet?
-> youruser: i think i might need a few more coffees…
lucybronze: are we even surprised??
-> youruser: i think i could say the same about you and a certain brunette defender on the team..
user1: guapaaaass
user2: are they together?!!!
user3: princess of england, and the princess of spain ❤️💙
———
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yourimagines · 4 hours
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Believing in you
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* English is not my first language I apologise
* Triggers: bullying, online hate, swearing and fluff
Summary: Y/N is Lando’s girlfriend, she’s been there for him since the F2 and believes in him, even when it looks like he’s never going to achieve the things he really wants, becoming a race winner in the formula one.
Lando POV
It was an amazing feeling to win my first race in formula one. Everyone was cheering and chanting my name. “Lando, congratulations on your first win. How do you feel.” One of the reporters asks me as I walked back to my car. “It feels good, I don’t have words for it to be honest. I just want to smile.” I flashed them a smile and got in my car. “First stop the hotel, then the after party.” I said to myself as I drove away from the circuit. My mind wandered off to my girlfriend y/n, who was back in Monaco. “She’s probably screaming.” I smiled about that thought, her in my hoodie, screaming at the tv in happiness. Maybe a few tears involving as well. ‘She’s been here since the beginning….’
Flashback to 2018
“Come on Lando, just be positive about it. Maybe they want you to be their next driver, you’re already their reserve driver.” I just had a talk with McLaren about me being their reserve driver and test driver. They didn’t said anything about me actually driving for them, only about testing the car and being available during the race weekends. “They probably want George, just like Mercedes…” I sighed and sat down defeated. “Lan…I know it seems like the whole world is against you but I promise it’s not the case. Just don’t bring yourself down.” She wrapped her arms around my neck and sweetly gave me a peck on my lips. “I believe in you Norris.”
End of the flashback
I stopped the car in front of the hotel and got out, people were screaming at me and singing that song about me. “Thank you guys.” I waved at them and went inside. I quickly went to my room and sat down on my bed and took a look at my phone. She had texted me about how proud she was of me and that she knew today would be that day. ‘God….she’s perfect.’ I quickly send her a text message back and sent her the same picture I sent to my parents, me smiling happily at my phone while holding the trophy.
Flashback to 2019
I was nervous for my first race for McLaren. My girlfriend y/n was here to support me and so were my parents. “I believe in you Norris.” She says as she placed a soft kiss on my cheek. “Don’t get your hopes up, I’m never this good as my teammate Carlos.” She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “Stop talking like this…it’s your first race of course you probably won’t defeat him but that doesn’t mean you are a bad driver Lando.” She gently brushed my shoulders before letting me go to the race track. “I’m always supporting you, no matter what.”
End of the flashback
The team picked me up from the hotel and went to one of the most popular clubs in Miami. “It’s going to be a hell of a party, I heard max is also coming.” I nodded and looked outside the car window, seeing the buildings passing us by. “Maybe Pierre as well…” they were talking about everything, the clubs, the drivers. I can’t blame them, they are just excited about my win.
Flashback to 2020
“You’re going to be on the podium today, I just know it.” She says through the phone. “I don’t know, maybe I crash and die…” I joked but she didn’t find it funny at all. “Lando! Don’t say that…it’s not funny.” She was a bit upset about the little joke I just made. “Okay okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” She only shook her head at me. “You’re on the podium today Norris, don’t be an asshole to me, you know I miss you right now.” She looked a bit sad at the camera. “I know you are, I miss you too.”
End of the flashback
I did get on the podium that weekend, my maiden third place. I was over the moon with that one but of course I wanted more. “You want an other one?” A young girl asked me as she raised her empty cup. “No thanks.” I said politely as I didn’t want her to think I’m available. “You sure? It’s free.” She gave me a wink and a broad smile. “Yeah I’m sure.” Before something weird could happen, max showed up with two drinks in his hands. “One for you.” He handed me a drink and smiled at the girl. “You okay?” She nods and disappears. “Weird, what did she want from you?” “Everything, I guess.” I joked as I took a sip from my drink. Max laughed and patted my shoulder. “Ladies man.”
Flashback to 2021
Rumours were spreading around the paddock that I was cheating on y/n with some other girl. Of course it’s not true but it did made a scar in our relationship. All the hate to me on the internet, being a shitty driver and a cheater. “I believe in you Norris, I trust you.” She says as she was helping me to pack my bags. “I know, it’s just frustrating that others see me differently.” I sighed and rubbed my face. “I’m not a cheater, you know her she’s a friend of max.” I shook my head and sat down, feeling worthless. “Hey, I know you didn’t cheat on me.” She sat down next to me, laying her hand on mine. “We’ll get through this, I love you Lando even with those shitty rumours.” I looked up at her and tried to smile at her. “I know.” I whispered as my voice faded. “Come here.” She opened her arms for me to hug her. “You’re not alone in this Lan.”
End of the flashback
It was very late when I arrived at the airport, Zak and the rest were there as well. Ready to board the plane. “I’m so dead.” I said as I sat down in my chair. “Me too buddy.” Zak said as he sat down in front of me. “What are your plans back in London? Visiting some family or friends?” I nodded tiredly as I checked the time. “Yeah, my parents first, maybe some friends.” He nods and gives me a pat on my shoulder. “You doing fine Lando, we’re all happy to have you in our team.” I smiled tiredly and looked outside the window. “Yeah…I’m happy too.”
Flashback to 2022
“Let’s move in together.” I said to her as we were building some legos together on my apartment floor. “Your serious?” She looked surprised at me as I just asked her to move in with me. “Yeah, why not?” I shrugged and went further with our build. “Omg you’re actually serious.” She throws her arms around my neck and pushes us down on the ground. “Love, of course I’m serious. You basically live here already.” My arms snaked around her body as she started to give me a few kisses. “I’m so excited to live with you, I need a job here and learn some more French.” She was rambling about everything, when she should move to Monaco and how to plan her days. “You’re going to be fine, you don’t need a job. You’re dating this muppet remember.” She giggles and shook her head. “I can’t do that, but thank you for your offer.”
End of the flashback
I landed in London and went immediately to my parents house, feeling happy but also drained by all the attention and stress. “Hello honey! I’m so proud of you.” My mom said as she greeted me with a hug. “Hi mom, thank you.” She guided me inside their house and saw my dad and my siblings waiting for me. “Hey guys.” “Congratulations son.” My dad immediately pulled me into his embrace. “Thanks dad.”
Flashback to 2023
She was there as I stood on the podium again, she was smiling happily at me. I was feeling proud to make her that happy and she made me happy too. “I’m so proud of you Lan.” She hugged me as soon she got the chance. “Thank you my love.” She placed a kiss on my cheek and smiled happily at me. “I knew you would be on the podium today.” It always feels bittersweet, being on the podium but not as the race winner. “Yeah, I’m still Lando Nowins.” She stopped smiling and slightly slapped my chest. “No, don’t listen to that crap. They are haters Lando, there are enough people like me that are supporting you.” I shrugged and wrapped one arm around her shoulders. “Whatever, let’s just go back to the hotel and celebrate.”
End of the flashback
I was a few days in London before I traveled back to Monaco, back to my girl who was waiting for me. I opened the door and before I could step one foot inside she flew into my arms. “Lan!” I almost fell as I catches her, holding her tightly. “I’m so proud of you, I knew it.” She buried her face in my neck and I carried her back inside, closing the door behind me with my foot. “I know, I knew it too baby.” She had tears in her eyes, looking so proud at me. “No more Lando Nowins.” She said with a giggle and I joined her. “You know that makes me even more proud, proving them wrong.” She nods and kisses me. “You were never Lando Nowins to me.” I smiled at her and sat her down on our kitchen counter. “I know, I’m your muppet.” She laughs and nods. “I freaking love you.” I said to her as she looked so beautiful to me, that proud feeling was there again. “I love you too Lan.”
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sorrelchestnut · 2 days
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One thing that annoys me post-Fallout tv show is that I keep seeing people complain that they canonized who dropped the bombs after all these years, and I agree that would be a shitty and terrible thing to do, narratively, because not knowing is very much the point. However:
They did not, in fact, do that.
What they did was canonize that Vault-Tec intended the bombs to be dropped - but that isn't exactly groundbreaking news. Simply looking at the existence of the vaults could tell you that. If all the vaults were legit then simply selling the promise of safety works in the absence of actual war, but that is very explicitly not what most of those vaults were about. Every single vault with a fucked-up experiment involved - i.e., most of them - required the end of the world to actually happen in order to serve their purpose, so it was inevitable that Vault-Tec hastened the end. I really don't know jack shit about any of the intricacies of canon pre-FO4 because I've never played them and wiki only gets me so far, but even I know that. It's baked into the premise.
But something that people are kind of forgetting here is that just because someone plans to do something, that does not mean that they go on to actually do it. Intention does not equal outcome: any number of things could have led to the bombs dropping, with or without Vault-Tec's intervention. Hell, they could have done their best to hasten things along and then fucked it up so bad they made it take longer, we don't know. Anything could have happened in the (probably at least a) year between that secret meeting and the day the bombs fell, and the show didn't canonize jack shit we didn't already know. Except for one thing:
The other corporations were all in on it.
That was the shocking thing to me - not shocking as implausible, mind you, just shocking as in "oh shit they went there." That's the shiny new worm in the apple that I wish more people were talking about because hoo boy, way to understand the fuckin' assignment, writers. That it wasn't just Vault-Tec, it was all of them, every single one of those greedy megalomaniacal fucks trampling each other to shove their snouts in the apocalypse trough. Because at the end of the day, the end of the world didn't happen because on single board of executives were uniquely terrible people. The end of the world happened because everyone at the top of the food chain thought the world would be better off if only they could control what kind of people would be allowed to live in it.
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elbiotipo · 1 day
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in the face of things like the floods in Brazil, how do you have ANY hope that the biosphere won’t be completely and utterly destroyed? I’m at my wit’s end. It seems like we’ve passed the point of no return. There isn’t any hope
how do you keep motivated
The biosphere won't ever be completely and utterly destroyed. Unless an asteroid impact boils the oceans away, that's just hyperbole.
And the FIRST thing you need to stop doing about climate change right now is hyperbole, because 1) that's the new strategy of "let's keep things as they are" people, "climate change is irreversible and we're all doomed so why do anything" and 2) it makes people to think you don't know what you're talking about and you're just a pointless doomer so they don't even listen. I'm a biologist, but you also should know what biosphere is, you know our biosphere has passed through several mass extinctions and has survived. Use the right terms.
What do I mean by this, am I being a condescending pedant? No, well maybe a little and I apologize, but my point is, it means that to talk about climate change, you need to know what's at risk. It's not "the Earth will warm 2°C and EVERYTHING WILL DIE", it's NOT. Global warming in such a short timescale means the disruption of global climate and weather in unpredictable ways which leads to natural catastrophes such as these. It means the disruption of ecosystems and agroecosystems because of this, in ways that we don't fully understand because it involves many factors. At the very worst case scenario, it means crop failures with all that implies, and we've already seen this with droughts, but even then, it would require adaptation and food distribution, just as today. There is a lot more to climate change, but what's important here is that it doesn't mean that we will all catch fire or drown when the average temperature reaches a certain degree. There is not such thing as a "point of no return".
What can we do about this? First of all, assist those who are inmediatly affected by these natural disasters. Second of all, recognize that these things will increase and start building up measures against it; change land use and preserve forests and wetlands so that floods have natural sinks, build defenses and canals in cities, reforest and protect land affected by drought, every place will have to adapt in a different way. Third, and this is already happening, transition away from fossils and aim at decarbonization, not only stop emissions but actually reverse them.
I say this is already happening because as of right now, solar and wind energy is at its cheapest ever and coal plants aren't being built nearly anywhere anymore. This transition is going through very rough times as the fossil fuel industries are very powerful, and this is why governments need to be pressured by popular action to complete it once and for all. But the results are already there. The worst case scenario of a 4°C warming planet, which would have meant crop failures and total melting of the ice caps, is increasingly far away, we are NO longer in the business as usual scenario. Are we there yet? No. Is a warming over 1.5°C inevitable? Most probably yes. Will this cause disasters and will require a tremendous effort to fight back? Definitevely. But every effort counts. Every coal plant that closes, every hectare of forest preserved, every time people choose nature over profit, every effort counts towards keeping us away from catastrophe.
Do you efffort then! Go get educated instead of dooming, learn what a biosphere is! And a biosphere isn't a small thing, you won't save it alone. It will take the efforts of millions of people to protect it. Millions of people who are already hard at work. Educate yourself and join them!
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pommunist · 2 days
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i honestly think that the qsmp is experiencing a quiet and slow death. like qsmp related stuff barely comes across my dash anymore (and i follow hundreds of mcyt blogs, back when things actually happened my entire dash would just be qsmp fanwork and liveblogging).
like sure the server is still open (not that i think it should be) but i barely see anyone talking about it anymore. the most i see is announcements for some new event thats supposed to revive the server and then i maybe see 3 or 4 posts about it the day of?
theres also way less new fanart being posted, the majority of the fanart i see is either a) shipping art that isnt set in any specific time (or is set during the peak ship era), b) art about one of the old events/plotlines, or c) pure egg art also with no specific time setting. there is relatively no fanart that is solely about the new events.
they keep trying to wave events in front of the jaded fans like "hey!!! new event! you want more events yeah? you guys used to love events :(" as if we dont see it as the distraction from their workplace abuse that it is
tbh i hate to see it happen but it’s what you get when you mix mistreatment of your workers with terrible pr management like….
first you have everyone who stopped supporting it when they learnt of the admin’s working conditions. already by this point, and because it’s been two months and no signs of betterment a big chunk of the fandom has dropped qsmp.
then you also lose people who were really attached to the eggs, especially if their favorite hasn’t came back or won’t come back at all.
and then you also lose people who were in for story and lore because they just learned that everything they had theorised about for months was for nothing because while the writers were trying their best the higher ups had no idea where the plot was going + ccs couldn’t be involved in the big storyline
and even if all of that wasn’t enough to make you leave, you might just drop it because your cc doesn’t log on anymore, or because the fandom is dying/dead (especially if you speak a language that massively left the project)
😀👍 just saw the tweet announcing the tzc murder mystery event and im so bitter i’ve waited like 9 months for it to happen but to see it happen in these conditions…. maybe the real murders that took place was the self sabotaging of qsmp and all these massacred workers rights
tldr qstudios completely fumbled the bag and that’s on them 100% L+ratio or whatever but it still sucks to see the state of qsmp rn
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Since u talk about transmisogyny a lot on here, I'd like to confess: I did follow transandrophobia blogs for a while on here because I thought, well, it's nice that there is a specific word that makes it easier to navigate to find specific things relevant to my own experiences, surely? I realized after a while the only time these topics really get brought up is as a defense to why the term has value, rather than engaging in discussions relevant to actual transphobia against transmasculine people. It felt like it was never elaborated upon beyond vague mentions of these things, and then otherwise, it was discourse about the word itself. As you can probably expect transmisogyny was only mentioned in passing, so I didn't understand much about it for a long time. I believe it was your posts deconstructing transandrophobia that made me understand why, exactly, the word wasn't useful at all, and also why this framework exists largely as a way to attack trans women who criticize the word, whether the people involved are aware of that or not (relevant to say their ignorance can be just as harmful!!) Once I realized that, and how little transandrophobia truthers listen about transmisogyny on top of that, it made all of the discussion about solidarity just ring hollow. Ended up blocking the handful of people I knew from that circle. it sucks that communities like this exist but I want to let you know I really appreciate you discussing transmisogyny openly, I imagine it's hard, stressful and exhausting in a lot of ways, and I don't think it's something just anyone could/should/has the means to undertake, but I hope you know that it does make a difference. People like you making an effort to discuss topics in good faith and going through the ordeal of re-explaining things does wonders for those of us willing to listen. Still listening now! so again, thank you, and I hope you're taking care of yourself <3
Hey this is really awesome to hear!! I try to keep myself approachable and relatively non-judgmental for just this reason. People who are willing to listen and consider other issues and change your beliefs i love you
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sokovianfortune · 2 days
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hello . i would like to talk about my own sexuality/relationship headcanons for the wbn trio since it’s a topic of conversation today :3
jack and elsa are both bisexual. this is a semi-recent discovery for both of them, given that most of elsa’s sexual partners have been women and most of jack’s sexual and romantic partners have been men. had they been asked about their sexualities pre-special, they’d both probably identify themselves as some flavor of gay (here meaning same-sex attracted, rather than an umbrella term like queer!). there is a reason why i have referred to the two of them running into each other in the maze as The Bisexual Jumpscare.
jack is also asexual! he’s not particularly sex-repulsed, he just largely views sex as a bonding activity and a way to make his partner feel good/express romantic love. this is fine by ted because uhh. i mean. let’s all be honest with ourselves here, it is very doubtful that my man has a libido anymore or the hardware to make it happen.
on the other end of the spectrum, you have elsa who only rarely indulged in sex as a way to scratch the human need itch. most of her past partners were one-night stands and she never stuck around for long, either way. but, once she and jack got together, her libido went fucking haywire and now she’s constantly (willingly!) dragging him into ulysses’s old bed chambers. good for her. good for them.
ted only the other hand is Gay gay. he did have a wife pre-transformation as per comics canon but, at the time they were married, he hadn’t really realized or even explored that particular facet of himself. workaholic scientist, yknow. he was operating under the typical “oh i guess i have to get married now because that’s what people Of My Age do.” there also might have been some period-accurate comphet involved, depending on how old he actually is.
ironically and perhaps to metatextually lean into monsters being queer-coded, becoming what he is now, while obviously a traumatic experience at the time, eventually allowed ted the freedom to explore this facet of himself and become comfortable with it.
jack and ted call each other husbands. they are not legally married. it just kind of started as a bit one day and it stuck. at what point did it stop being a bit? they don’t know and have not addressed it. jack would love to wear a ring regardless but he’s very worried about accidentally severing a finger if he forgets to take it off before the full moon.
on the hand, if anyone refers to jack as anything less neutral than elsa’s partner, she Will start gagging. she is forty one years old, she is nobody’s fucking girlfriend. wife is also off the table. she’d get married for practical tax reasons or something maybe but it would have to just be signing a paper in a courthouse with one (1) witness. an actual wedding ceremony (having to bear her stupid soft feelings in front of everyone she knows!!!) would be akin to a particularly humiliating trip through the nine circles of hell for her.
i call them the people’s polycule but they’re really more like a poly v with jack as the midpoint. ted and elsa are decidedly not romantically interested in each other at all but they Are besties united by their love for their beloved little bow wow. i know we have confirmation of the “she’s not into dogs” line but my headcanon is and always will be that the thing ted says to jack to make him laugh at the end is only kind of a joke about being willing to try opening things up if he wanted to.
(jack immediately dismissed this as A Joke and that was when ted knew he was in for a whole lot of yearning. god help him.)
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Genuinely enjoying Everyone’s In LA. 80s + 00s Adult Swim vibes. Absolutely adore how they made a point to say ‘murder is bad’ for the neopuritans out there while showing how ridiculous having to do so is in reality. Laughed probably too hard at John saying, “structure is important for me.”
I think it’s a real step forward for Mulaney as an artist and comedian. His commentary and style are becoming more clear and pointed without losing the charm and honesty he laid the groundwork for in his last special. My main criticism of that special was that it wasn’t the set he could make, but the set he had to make. Now, he’s reaping the rewards.
Back to the show at hand:
The live format and callback to late night hosts of old add an authenticity that i think Americans are hungry for. It very much reads as (mostly) unscripted where sometimes jokes don’t hit very well and sometimes technology fails. Also, the guests are obviously free to say whatever so there are some slightly uncomfortable moments that John does an excellent job pivoting from. But I think all of that’s a good thing. The American audience is so used to seeing media that feels made in a lab with all of the research boiled down to exactly what most people will spend money on. Failing something on live tv in an obviously unplanned scenario feels human in a way AI and the current MCU could never obtain.
What’s most impressive is that Mulaney and those involved with the production (including guests!) have somehow figured out the formula of what we’ve missed about earlier media while also being modern, relevant, and actually funny. All without seeming like any board of directors or agent is micromanaging the content.
Only the first episode is out but, based on it, I very much recommend watching the rest. “Something someone just out of rehab would make” indeed (complement).
Note: I say all this as someone who’s been in similar positions with the mental health system as Mulaney, is now becoming a therapist, and understands how fucking hard it is to “get better”. Also, I don’t keep up with celeb drama. I got enough shit to worry about. This is about THE ART (/hot iron giant guy) … also it’s about how I had been in a mental health/rehab facility before Mulaney went public on his own struggles and had never seen a popular celebrity talk about life events similar to mine. So I paid more attention to this than I normally would.
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themultifanshipper · 2 days
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I would like to contribute my opinion on the lando/trump situation.
Warning, it's long and a bit nuanced (although slightly more a defence than an accusation but still keep an open mind)
And is edited as i find more things to say
First off, Lando is a victim of the formula one machine just like all the drivers. They are the puppets, the clowns, whatever analogy you want. The people behind the teams (team bosses, ceo's, sponsors etc... are what make the machine run, the drivers are just there to drive. He was approached by the ex president of the country he was in, on a high of winning his first race, and shook his hand while a million cameras were pointing in his direction. That can only happen one way: trump being invited by the team (bosses ceo's, whatever). Now, I despise trump and everything he stands for, but if I was in Lando's situation I would have had to do the same thing. (It so happens I was in a similar situation and had to shut my mouth and shake the hand of a politician I didn't like because I could have caused a diplomatic incident and lost my job and cost a lot of money in sponsorships). Also the alleged comments "It was an honour for him to be there/ you have to have respect for him" etc... are probably bullshit, but in the case that they are not and Lando is actually a trump supporter, if you cancel him for it, you would have to cancel half the drivers/team bosses/Ceo's etc in HISTORY.
The founding of formula one (like any institution ever) is by and for White/Rich/Heterosexual/Males. The FIA is corrupt. The teams are corrupt. It's an industry entirely run by money. It's capitalism in a bottle and some of y'all seem to forget that. The fact is the drivers could all be supporters of the right wing parties in their respective countries, would you cancel all of them?
For example, frank williams, the FOUNDER of Williams f1 team was openly a Thatcher supporter. There is a portrait of the bitch in his house (now his daughter's) as seen below, with a picture of.... george russell??
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I also added a picture of Thatcher with Colin Chapman to emphasize that political figures often get involved in sports, doesn't mean the athletes align with their views. Trump, Reagan, Thatcher, Francisco Franco (a literal dictator).... they've all done it.
But let's have a quick look at Georgie boy then. A rich white man, he was quite friendly with Frank Williams, does that mean he's a tory? No. (Tbh he probably is but is smart enough to not talk about it)
Lewis Hamilton of all people was invited to lunch TWICE with the British Royal family (not to mention the knighthood), does that mean he's a racist cunt with no regard for other human lives? No. So why would he associate himself with them? Because he's smart enough to not alienate half the bloody population!
If these people had integrity and perfect morals, they would not be racing in F1. And for the few that are genuinely good people, they're smart enough to just be a cog in the machine to ensure their paycheck. We saw it with the horner situation, they won't get involved unless they actually support the bad guy. Similar situation to palestine, if they speak out either way, they will alienate countless sponsors and probably loose their seat.
Yes it's shit, yes it should be different, yes it should be inclusive but it's just not. It's veeery slowly changing though.
But back to Lando: now he isn't perfect obviously. (He's a white cis probably het man) He might even be right wing who knows, but I think taking alleged comments like "you have to respect the guy" out of context is dangerous. Objectively, yes there is an infinitesimal bit of respect you have to have for trump (hear me out) he managed to become PRESIDENT OF THE UNTIED STATES by manipulating the masses into thinking he was basically the reincarnation of God. Man is a genius, even though he's a cock. He's also a brilliant example of nepotism, capitalism and all round discrimination that represents the system we all live in. Additionally, florida is a pretty right wing state if i'm not mistaken (gun laws/anti abortion/anti lgbt etc...) and if lando had told trump to fuck off, there might have been riots and i'm only barely joking. Lando is a dick for the comments that were perhaps a bit unnecessary but y'all are seeing them as him endorsing trump lmao. As a (hopefully) future public figure, if the president of my country came to see me in front of a bunch of cameras i would also say it was an honour to meet him. At this level it's self preservation.
I will finish this rant by saying that I hope the world of f1 will change for the better in future years, already the gender diversification is going in the right direction, some programs are in place for kids who come from poorer backgrounds etc... but expecting that change to come from the puppets of capitalism is quite unreasonable. Lewis has set some standards that hopefully more and more drivers can stick to, but in the meantime cancelling a dude for breathing the same air as trump is stupid.
Ps: Y'all don't know the half of the awful private corporations and sponsors of the teams and drivers, so if you can't cope with the occasional dick on your screen, you might want to pick a different hobby. Preferably not involving public figures or PR in any capacity.
Edit 1: I've been seing ppl get mad at lando for saying he's his lucky charm and I think it's perhaps a language comprehension barrier thing. He did not say that. Trump said he was lando's lucky charm, then lando mentionned that trump had said it.
Edit 2: I've seen some clips of Zak Brown where he seems to be really friendly with trump. I wouldn't be surprised if it was his idea to introduce him to lando. CEO's are rarely great people, and although i'm glad he's been such a huge part of Lando's journey and success, i'm not a big fan of his. I just wish it would have been with someone a bit less complacent, like max or lewis, they wouldn't have said that stuff and the interaction would have been quite entertaining I reckon.
Edit 3: great post about the misunderstood comments at the press conference here
Don't hesitate to insult me in my asks, i will be answering them with equal enthusiasm :)
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lonelyroommp3 · 4 hours
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the funny thing about tumblr a lot of the time is that this is a website jam packed with people who pride themselves on being the smartest and most progressive person in any given room but who, paradoxically, also seem to take a bizarre amount of pride in their own ignorance. like i was just thinking about this in the context of how a lot of other white people on here have been talking about rap & hip hop over the past week and i genuinely think the issue (aside from a lot of covert racism that, frankly, the people involved probably don't even realise they're doing because it's so deeply engrained and wrapped up in their other weird complexes) is that a good chunk of especially fandom bloggers on tumblr are still caught up in their very Not Like Other Girls "i was a nerd at school and made it my entire personality that while the popular kids cared about makeup and pop culture and celebrities and sports *i* cared about books and doctor who and homestuck and anime, please clap" mindset from like 2013. like they're mostly if not all adults now but the mindset has not actually changed at all. and so it becomes a point of pride to these people that they have no clue who like drake and kendrick are because isn't it soooo much more impressive that they've read the entire locked tomb series or whatever, they care about things that MATTER. and they are NOT going to examine the whiteness of the things they DO care about or how, where there is diversity, they'll still insist on viewing it through the whitest possible lens
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skania · 7 hours
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AquaKane & OnK 148
Ohhhhh boy. I thought we would have to wait until July to get back to Aqua and Akane, so this chapter blindsided me lol
I know that the most on-the-nose reading of this chapter is that Aka is preparing to pull the classic romcom trope where the love interest gives up on the MC only so the rest of the cast can reassure her that she is the one who makes the MC happy, etc. etc. Considering that this is happening two chapters after Aqua told Kana that he has fun with her, it's like Aka is leading us all to believe that's where it's going. It's all very tropey and in-your-face and perfectly on brand with the way Aka has always written that particular ship.
So instead of talking about the obvious, I'd like to indulge my hopes for good writing and discuss the possibility of Aka actually subverting those tropes by playing this straight, regardless of how likely or unlikely it may be. Because if he does, then all of the stuff I've always loved about Aqua and Akane may just end up meaning something.
This is the possibility I'm rooting for against all odds after all, so I figure that I may as well go down throwing my ship the hurrahs it deserves while I can still do so lol
So buckle up because this is going to be long!
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This chapter is a wild ride because it touches upon a lot of different things at once.
First, Aqua supposedly didn't want to be involved with Akane any longer in order to keep her safe.
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However, when Akane announced that she would stop his plans — in other words, that she would stay involved in his life — Aqua looked giddy.
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Look at him. When Aka allows him to actually emote and be an actual character, Aqua can be so funny!
True to form, in this chapter we see Akane come up to him and Aqua just... welcome her. In fact, he even asks her if she feels awkward around him. Instead of acting like they never dated (which is exactly what Akane has been doing, mind you), he himself brings their former relationship to the forefront.
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There's a pause splitting his question in two, meaning that this is something Aqua hesitates to ask. Almost like he is scared of the reply. Or like he may be feeling a little awkward himself.
Which is no surprise, because that is how Aka himself presents their current era. Akane isn't just Akane and she isn't just a friend; she is Aqua's ex girlfriend, a title that never fails to bring attention to the fact that they used to be romantically involved.
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From colleagues, to a fake couple, to partners, to a real couple and now they're in their Exes era. I've been waiting for Aka to explore all the tension and complexity that should bring, but he's been kind of busy off-paneling most things Aqua. Alas!
When I commented on Chapter 131, I mentioned that (to me) it feels like after Chapter 116, Akane found something to focus on. She isn't thinking about her relationship with Aqua, the only thing she has in mind is Aqua. Keeping him safe, helping him achieve happiness.
Even here during this chapter, she goes to him to ease his loneliness and remind him that he has people worth living for and that he deserves to be happy, but... nothing she says includes her. It's all about Aqua and the others, the others and Aqua.
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I don't think it's a coincidence that Akane walks away from him with her eyes closed. Her mind is consumed with thoughts about wanting Aqua to be happy, and so she doesn't even notice the way he turns to look at her retreating back.
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Until Kana shines her proverbial light on her, making Akane open her eyes.
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The way the chapter is structured, it's like Kana is there to give Akane the answer — the missing piece to solve the Aqua Happiness Conundrum™ that Akane is so focused on. It's easy to think that the answer is predictably Kana herself, but since I'm here for Aqua and Akane, I'd like to believe the answer can be just as Kana says.
After all, who is prominently featured in what Aqua considers to be his happy days?
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Kana's words are abrupt, yes, but the silver lining is that they reflect what Aqua himself has already told us.
Akane is front and center in what Aqua has come to know as happiness.
One may wonder: How TF does Kana know that though?? And it's a fair question that I'll talk about in a little bit, but maybe what matters most is that she knows it at all.
In a way, it feels almost like meta commentary. Like the story has finally reached the point where Aka can afford to go back to Aqua and Akane, and so he is getting ready to reap all the seeds he sowed during the previous arcs fingers crossed.
And this is the very first one of those seeds: Aqua was happy with Akane, but Akane never let herself think that she played an instrumental part in his happiness. She seems to think that it was just being freed from his revenge.
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I'd even argue this right here was the true reason of their downfall. It wasn't Aqua finding out about the loophole and Akane not coming clean, it was the reason why she didn't come clean.
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Aqua's happiness mattered so much to her that Akane failed to consider that risking her life for him was the last thing Aqua wanted.
So when I read the leaks and Kana's comment, my kneejerk reaction was to think Finally! because this could be setting in motion something I've been waiting for all along.
For Aqua and Akane to revisit their dynamic, their relationship, and come clean about what they mean to each other — wherever that may lead them.
Now, going back to Kana and that earlier question of how does she know? Perhaps she saw something we haven't been privy to (in classic Aka fashion). Or maybe it's as simple as Kana finally realizing that Aqua is deeply unwell, and knowing that the last time she saw him happy was back when he was dating Akane.
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Considering the information Kana has and — especially — all the information she lacks, it's not far-fetched for her to come to the conclusion that Aqua's state is partly to blame on his break-up with Akane.
Once again, it would be easy for Aka to say that Kana got it wrong because she doesn't know anything about Aqua's revenge. But wouldn't it be ironic if Kana's lack of insight into that particular side of Aqua is what allows her to see something so simple that the very parties involved are missing it?
Regardless of the road she took to get there, I'd like to think the manga has given us enough reasons to believe Kana is not quite wrong.
After all, Aqua didn't get his black stars when he found out that his father was alive. It wasn't finding out about his father's identity that did it, either.
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It was turning his back on Akane and on the naive thoughts of being happy in order to walk down the Revenge Road, on a chapter aptly titled "Going Astray", that gave Aqua his two black stars.
If that was the chapter where Aqua stepped away from the "correct path", so to speak, then it stands to reason to believe that Akane may be front and center in the path Aqua is meant to take.
Coincidentally, this was the last interaction Aqua and Akane were allowed to have before this chapter.
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Another thing I find very important in c148 is the way Kana words her realization. Kana isn't telling all of this to Akane as an observer. She's saying it as someone who likes Aqua romantically.
This is in contrast to Akane and Aqua, who are two hot messes when it comes to identifying the nature of their own feelings.
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Throughout the entire manga, we've never seen Akane put a label on the way she feels about Aqua. We've seen her realize why she feels the way she does, but we haven't seen her say what she feels, even though Aqua himself has questioned it.
Closest we got was this, and they broke up a chapter later.
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Aqua has unexpectedly been more open than Akane in that regard, but... once again, they broke up literally one chapter after Aqua was at his most candid.
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And considering everything that happened before and after that, I'm not sure if Akane actually got the message.
But before I get to that, there is an important difference in the way Akane was thinking of Aqua's happiness back then and the way she's thinking about it now.
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Chapter 97 was even titled Together. Akane wanted to make Aqua happy, yes, and she also wanted to be together with him always. Just like Aqua wanted them to, according to his own admission: "I don't want to let go of these days... when you're by my side."
But all of that is missing in this most recent chapter. She no longer includes herself as part of the equation at all.
It truly feels like Akane is back to completely underestimating how much she means to Aqua.
Back when Aqua told her this:
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Akane reacted like this:
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And what is her reaction to Kana's words this chapter?
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Every single time, Akane is taken aback by the thought of meaning more to Aqua than she thinks. Every. Single. Time.
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This is sad and a little frustrating, but it's far from surprising. After all, this is how Akane has always interpreted their relationship:
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As far as Akane is concerned, their relationship was a lie that was turning into truth little by little. She never dared to hope that he loved her back; hell, she even thought that he was attracted to Kana and wondered why he decided to date her instead.
To make matters worse, in Chapter 98, Aqua deliberately set the stage so that Akane's trust in him — the very basis of their relationship — would be broken.
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So while Akane realizes that Aqua doesn't want to use her, she may have explained that away as Aqua being his kind self rather than as Aqua harboring any kind of special feelings towards her.
Regardless of how she interpreted his actions though, it seems likely that Akane thinks that she failed him.
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She couldn't save him as his girlfriend and Aqua told her he would have nothing to do with her anymore, and so Akane is now trying to save him as something else entirely. Not even as a friend, because she hardly interacts with him at all.
She's trying to save him while staying away just like he wanted her to. While only stepping in when she deems it appropriate and/or necessary.
But is that really and truly what Aqua wants?
Most importantly, is that what Aqua needs?
This chapter suggests that may not be the case, and the rest of the manga agrees. Staying away is not how Akane saved Aqua little by little. This is how she did it:
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That's why the way Kana worded her realization is important. It isn't only that Kana — the very girl Akane thought Aqua was attracted to — is bringing romance to the forefront and thus setting the stage for the nature of Akane's (and Aqua's) feelings to be finally cleared up.
It's also that Kana is showing Akane that it's possible to own her feelings while being selfless about his happiness.
After all, the ball right now is in Akane's court. In the state he is now, Aqua would never ever allow himself to chase his own happiness. Even when he thought he was free to do so, he felt that Akane deserved better than to be held back by him.
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So all in all, it's like with this chapter alone Aka has laid the groundwork to address all the AquaKane elephants in the room. Just in time for the very season that will be showing AquaKane in all its glory to all the anime-only watchers, at that.
In each of the last arcs, Aqua has reconciled with someone important to him. Kana and Ruby are fully back in his life now, yet he isn't doing any better. Maybe it's finally Akane's turn to try again.
So yes, Kana's change of heart is so abrupt that it may be a red herring leading to a very predictable end.
But since I've made it this far, I may as well keep hoping for the opposite to be true: maybe, just maybe, Aka is planning to tie all of this together and lead it to a satisfying conclusion. I can only hope that is the case, because it's where I feel that the writing is at its best.
Besides, if "giving up on Aqua" and "turning his black star white" are so-called "winning flags", well... Akane did both of those first 😂
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I have no idea if I’ll write it, but I started thinking of Springtrap x reader plots, and then I started talking to @ravenmccookies about like... the main idea that I have.
So, imagine: Y/N is one of those people who likes to restore old things. They never worked at the attraction, and never actually knew about it, either—but they heard about something burning down.
While out walking, they end up discovering Springtrap, and they’re like: “Oh, a cool robot bunny. I’ll take it back with me and fix it up. Should be fun.” And they drag him back home.
And they basically start streaming on what they plan on doing—and when they go to the room that they were sure they left the rabbit in... he’s just gone.
Y/N manages to find him, but in a panic, ends up hitting Springtrap with a bat that they happened to have brought with them.
And that’s just how the two actually meet. I have a ton of other ideas involving this potential thing—including ideas for how it could actually end. Something angsty, I’m thinking.
But anyway: shenanigans occur.
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twyllodrus · 2 days
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dead boy detectives + ride the cyclone AU
like, say, the agency gets a new case in north-eastern saskatchewan, ppl report hearing music & singing once every year, at an abandoned warehouse of a theme park, on a specific day in september. with little digging, they find out there was an accident a while back involving a high school choir
for some reason the cyclone gang never moves on, so the agency arrives & so here are some headcanons for their interactions and agency's reactions to some of the songs:
the uranium suite, everyone's really creeped out/confused, except for niko who's vibing throughout the whole thing; at first the two groups don't realize they can see/speak to each other, but soon the cyclone kids find out that holy shit there are new people here hi hello heyy
everyone's excited about newcomers, ocean especially so, who quickly takes the initiative & so edwin defers to her as the group's leader (to noel's annoyance), and they attempt to work on solving the case together, it's all v civil. but then the talking part's over & the singing part of loop begins, so ocean performs what the world needs which does a total 180 on their encounter thus far & now everyone's high-key judging ocean; edwin gives a lecture on evils of social darwinism
noel's lament, noel right away clocks edwin as a repressed edwardian twink & sets out to put him in a coma with the whole monique routine. strangely the moment lipstick & lingerie come out it doesn't seem to faze edwin as much. but then noel also sees the way edwin sometimes looks at charles & so instead of mischa he pulls charles in for the kiss part, who cheerfully goes along with it, which nearly short-circuits edwin's brain (later on constance and niko get to gush together about two boys kissing). by the end of it everyone's dancing & being dramatic like they're the cast of cabaret on acid, except for edwin who's still digesting what's just happened
every story's got a lesson, everyone's still pissed at ocean, edwin incredulously wonders what was the lesson in being sacrificed to a demon & sent to hell at age 16
at first everyone's kinda cringing during this song is awesome, edwin is convinced this "autotune" is a modern tool used to commune with otherworldly entities, but eventually everyone gets into it; they all get sunglasses on, crystal gets edwin to wear a baseball cap backwards, everyone's having general fun
talia, charles is relived to learn that "the angriest boy in town", who could've been easily chalked up to being the toxic masculinity type dudebro, isn't like that at all (just mischa's whole monologue "i lay my masculinity at the altar of your maidenhood" gods). everyone gets to wear vyshyvankas & flower crowns. it's gorgeous
ricky potts unintentionally answers the age-old question of "is it actually possible to give a ghost an aneurysm?" the answer is yes, and space age bachelor man almost succeeds where the noel's lament failed. the moment horny cat people are in the mix, edwin is bombarded with cat king flashbacks and, later on, crystal "casually" mentions that they have met the actual cat king. ricky is super hype & asks lots of questions, giggling, twirling hair etc and also he totally called it that cats can talk but just choose not to
the ballad of jane doe, crystal hardcore relates to the dead decapitated girl, who doesn't know her own name or her past, or who her parents were and whom no one can identify too ("oh no soul, and no name, and no story, what a shame" like c'mon!)
jawbreaker/sugar cloud, everyone's gets a tad teary-eyed, but charles is openly weeping when constance lists all the random things in her life which she grew to appreciate only after the accident
in the end, they figure out the reason they couldn't move on is bc of virgil the rat who for some reason kept shutting karnak off prematurely, before the voting could begin. after figuring that out the voting proceeds as intended, but instead of one of them returning to the living world, they all get to move on. niko adopts virgil the rat
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donnerpartyofone · 1 day
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youtube
This morning I went over to the church to see my favorite guy, who is so often surprising and challenging. He seemed a little out of sorts today, stammering and losing his place; I sometimes worry about this old guy, and I was paying attention. Then at the end of the mass he said that they're having air quality problems in the rectory and the EPA is involved. I hope he's not getting brain damage!
It was sort of funny, though, because the homily was about having trouble focusing--not being able to concentrate, and having anxiety about the future. That was pretty relevant to me, medically and otherwise. I'm writing this on the morning of the new moon, just to be extra flaky, about how much trouble I have forming goals.
Pursuing goals is also hard, but step one should be having a vision, and that's the really impossible part. When I was a little kid I had two ambitions: to be a writer, and to be dead. The latter thing represents one of the main motivating forces in my life, which is pain avoidance. I think this is the chief motivator of many people without them even realizing it; comfort-seeking itself can be a form of pain avoidance. Pain avoidance is not a legitimate goal, it's more of a reflex, and it can become a preoccupying distraction from any kind of actual ambition (especially as fulfilling ambitions often involves some amount of discomfort). Focusing on what you do not want is not equivalent to focusing on what you do want.
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I never had a very good idea of what I want. I found this out when I went into therapy as an adult; I couldn't formulate any notion of what I wanted out of life. I couldn't even come up with any masturbatory, pie in the sky fantasies. I might vaguely be able to say something like "a bigger, nicer apartment", but I can't come up with any compelling ideas about what that would even look like. I try, but I know I'm faking it. Certainly part of my interest in religion and occultism is the idea that I could train myself to really clearly conceptualize any kind of goals or desires. In the case of occultism specifically (and, let's be honest, many forms of self-help), visualization is always a key element. In recent years I learned that I am abnormally incapable of forming mental images, and I have come to believe that this is intimately connected to my inability to figure out what I want or how to get it.
Nearly all of my thinking is verbal. I found out what aphantasia was while talking to my dad, who is extremely visual with an excellent grasp of spacial relations (something I have almost no concept of). He was shocked when I said I can't really picture anything, asking me "Then how do you do anything?" He said when he decides to make a sandwich, for instance, he automatically sees himself performing the actions of sandwich-making, and sees the aspirational sandwich in his mind's eye. Visualizing is essential to his entire executive process. It so happens that I am aphantasic and I have a lot of executive dysfunction. I no longer think this is coincidental.
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(I'm also very faceblind, and I think this is connected; something to do with the ability to reconstitute a visual memory and relate it to something that is presently in front of me. But anyway...)
Perhaps oddly, I am an artist, or at least I have been. But I've never been able to draw from my imagination, like at all. The best work I've ever done is all swipes; I am a great believer in swipes, it can reveal a lot about your personal style and obsessions and when you re-draw someone else's art. But I can't just sit and think up something fun to draw, even when I try to just doodle I'm usually responding more to the lines I see emerging on the paper than anything I'm thinking or feeling. I think this is related to the fact that I'm an obsessive scopophile; I take in a lot of detail from my environment, and I watch movies with the same attitude and frequency with which most people listen to music. Recently I started to joke that I have an image deficiency and that's why I have to consume huge amounts of visual media, I need the external infusion. But like, it's not that much of a joke, maybe.
In my 30s I randomly developed this condition where scar tissue grows over your corneas, and I had to have a series of freaky eye surgeries. My doctors always asked if I grew up somewhere warm and sunny and windy, if I do a lot of outdoor sports (sometimes this condition is called "surfer's eye"); I thought this was pretty funny since I couldn't be more of an indoor kid, although maybe cycling is somewhat at fault. Still, my preferred diagnosis is that I watch so much trashy and violent crap that it literally scars my eyes. It's as good an explanation as any! And it does have this weird synergy with my other visual problems.
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Anyway, it's not as if I've done absolutely nothing with my life. Quite a few personal achievements piled up in just the last couple of years; certainly I've benefited a lot from luck and the good will of others, but nothing would have happened without my own creativity and commitment. I just wish I had more, you know. Vision. I spend too much of my life "taking one day at a time" and waiting for things to happen to me, assuming I don't have much control over my experiences. I'd rather be able to imagine something that I want to happen and act on it; regardless of whether the thing is going to happen, I'd like to be able to formulate a goal other than paying the rent, or like, not waking up and going to sleep in a state of stark terror. I'm not sure how to get myself to that place, but maybe saying that that's what I want can count for something.
Anyway here are some photos of the thoughtfully planted shrubbery from the church. I missed the full bloom of the weeping cherries, but as soon as they die off the shrubs below turn bright red, pink, yellow, and white. It's pretty inviting I must say.
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bellysoupset · 45 minutes
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Don’t think I didn’t notice Wendy getting flustered when Luke burped in front of her! So does her kink go beyond just Vince’s tummy? Does she have a thing for burps? If you know, can you talk about the scope of her kink - what kinds of bodily functions, people, reasons for the illness etc. that turn her on and what doesn’t? If you are still figuring it out that’s okay too. As I think is fairly obvious from my own writing, I like characters who try to hold back from vomiting, especially when being N S F W. Is that something she enjoys? If I didn’t say so earlier, I really, Really liked the dirty talk and Vince understanding it as such and trying to match her. Would love to see more of that at some point.
Hiii Lis 🙈
Yes! Wendy's kink precedes Vince!
She has a thing for nausea more than puke itself, as in she hardly cares about the final product and much more about the feeling miserable af and getting worse until- Which I think is very intimately related to the natural sexual progression of horniness going up up up until climax.
I don't think she's like into burps, but I think like most people with our kink she's highly aware of anything related to it. Much like I know me (and others) get all flustered over someone doing something mundane like scratching their belly, even if it has nothing to do with me being an emetophile. It just feels intimate, because it's tied to something I close relate to sexual fantasy, and it feels nearly indecent when vanillas do it without realizing.
I think for Wendy is she likes food related nausea most because, normally, it comes with barely no "dangerous" symptoms. Over eating being her favorite, since it's a one and done and the situation is highly controllable. Food poisoning I think she could get off on, but as long as it doesn't last long enough that it becomes dangerous or involves too much "back end" stuff.
She doesn't actually like the holding back, she's very dominant and I think she likes being all... Devilish sweet? Like in the last fic where she was cooing Vince, while actively making his nausea worse. Call it soft sadism, if you will.
She's VERY into the actual tummy: Is it bloated? Sloshy, gurgly, taut, noisy or quiet?
And very into the other feeling and signaling their discomfort, burps and aborted gags being her favorites. Vince is actually not whiny enough, but not that they both are aware of it. I love writing Wendy/Vin figuring out together the limits and boundaries of their more or less shared kink.
Side note: while she's an emetophile regardless of Vince, he does make it soooo much better. Not only she's in love with who he is as a person (so sweet he gives her tooth aches), but also his boooodyy. A round fuzzy tummy + big fucking arms and shoulders <3 kisses kisses
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cinematicbookworm · 9 months
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Man the average right leaning person really is just the most gullable people like shit some times I forget how stupid some people can be and then they open their mouths and start talking about aliens and demons on planes after watching some video online of some lady going crazy on a plane talking bout a passenger being not real like the woman was probably haveing a mental break and y’all are really out here talking bout demonic fucking possession of the person who is being screamed at by someone clearly having a break from reality shits crazy
#like could there be life on other planets sure is that what’s happening here no y’all realize than when ever our government is about to try#to mobilize our military that we always see an uptick in supposed ufo sitings because ya know they are trying to distract the populous#like do the reading and you see that at almost every major uptick in ufo mania that it corrosponds with the beginning of a major military#action or something else that the government doesn’t want the average person focused on#also most ufos or UAPs as they are now called are just classified testing of aircraft or weapons systems or they are actually weather#phenomena cause natures fucking stranger than fiction sometimes#the likelihood of any ufo or uap sightings being actually extra terrestrial is slim to none#coming from a military family who actually where aerospace engineers who helped to develop some of those super secret weapons and planes#the government ain’t smart enough or well organized enough to hide something that big that convincingly for this long#some of the people at my place of employment are gullible idiots who believe anything they see online because they don’t have experience#with things or people who are actually involved in the things they are talking about#also those hearings that congress had were not interviewing the people who claimed to have seen uaps no they were interviewing people who#claimed to have interviewed people who had seen them as in they didn’t actually have any evidence#it’s like if I someone who has worked with the parks system interview someone who claims to have seen Bigfoot and then testified infront of#congress to the fact that this person told me they had seen Bigfoot it doesn’t actually prove that Bigfoot exists
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