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juyeonszn · 7 months

Text

BAD IDEA RIGHT?

PAIRING lee juyeon x f!reader

WORD COUNT 4.10k

GENRES … smut

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, literally porn with plot. like i’m so insane, enemies to “we fuckin” as reese put it 🥰, frat boy tbz again!!!, juyo is literally so irritating in the first half im not even gonna lie, he’s also a manwhore, making out, reader is a bit of a brat, juyeon has a dirty mouth, kinda dom!juyeon, vaginal fingering, oral (m! receiving), SHOWER SEX !12!1!, he’s hitting it from the back btw, unprotected sex, creampie, juyeon is actually… i don’t even know how to describe him writing his character made me want to claw at the walls lol

SUMMARY deep down you’re fully aware that you’re probably making a huge mistake by giving into juyeon just like every other girl on campus ever has. but paired with how intoxicating his mouth feels on your own and the steam filled bathroom clouding your head, you can’t seem to find a logical reason to stop.

MORE heheheh im back 🤭 oh my god this was actually the cause of a week full of sleepless nights. i genuinely drove myself crazy writing this bc NEED FRRRR like idk i’m so 😭 delusional. ANYWAYS. ANON. THIS ONE IS FOR U. U REQUESTED THIS AND I RAN WITH IT. u wanted more juyeon, i deliver more juyeon ;) also shout out to ally, moni, AND reese for beta’ing 🥺 i love u my cupcakes!! prompt used: 18 <3

PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs @itsbeeble

If there was anyone on Earth that you hated more than anything, it had to be Lee Juyeon.

To put things plainly, he was quite literally the bane of your existence. Being around him made your blood pressure skyrocket and gave you migraines that lasted for days. It was insane how one person could affect you so much by doing so little. It seemed as if he thrived off of getting under your skin.

Considering he was the captain and the pitcher of the baseball team, it wasn’t shocking. He was also a member of one of the most popular fraternities on campus. But he happened to be roommates with one of your best friends, and that made it ten times worse.

You’d known Changmin since third grade, along with Kevin and Chanhee. When he mentioned he’d be joining a fraternity in college, you were a bit apprehensive. All you knew about them was what you’d read in YA books and seen in movies. Neither gave them a good rep. Part of you wanted to talk him out of it, but you knew this was something you had to let him do, given you were adults and it was his college experience. At least you still had the other two under one roof.

The first time you met Juyeon was also the first time you attended a frat party. Changmin had just passed his initiation after waiting a year and he invited all of you to celebrate. You were excited for the most part since high school parties were more for an adrenaline rush due to the fact that your parents never let you go to them and you either snuck out or lied about going. You didn’t have to worry about the limitations of parents this go around.

The boys disappeared almost immediately upon arrival, leaving you to fend for yourself in the very crowded fraternity house. You could hardly pass through a room without bumping into somebody’s shoulder or elbow, huffing as you maneuver around the house equivalent to a sardine can. Your drink nearly spilled onto your top multiple times and you were glad you decided against the heels for the night.

You chugged the rest of the jungle juice in your cup as you stepped onto the patio, where it’s just as noisy and just as packed. You’re lucky enough to find an empty lounge chair near the house’s pool, unoccupied and calling your name. When your legs touch the plastic chair, you flinch at how hot it is, most likely from being in the sun all day.

“Woah, do you want a cushion?”

You look up at the source of the voice. You’ve seen him around campus before, and even at Changmin’s games. Lee Juyeon was just one of those people that you had to know, unless you’d been living under a rock. Just like everyone else in the world, you couldn’t deny how attractive he was. From this distance, you truly understood why girls would giggle like high schoolers over the guy.

“Uh, sure. Yeah, that would be great actually.” You nod, watching as he wanders towards the shed in the corner of the big ass backyard. He returns promptly, holding his red solo cup between his teeth and one hand on your lower back guiding you to a standing position so he could place down the cushion.

“As a thank you, can I get your name?” He gives you a cocky little smile that should’ve been a warning. And looking back on it, you should’ve seen his true personality sooner, to be completely honest. The way his lips curled at the corners, like a conniving bastard who got off on irritating others.

“It’s Y/N,” you say, messing with your empty cup. “I’d ask for yours, but I kinda already know.”

He laughs at that, scratching the back of his neck. “That’s not surprising.” It’s at this point that you’re starting to see through his sweet facade, but despite knowing better— despite always keeping your guard up— you let yourself fall for it just this once. All because you didn’t want to fuck things up for Changmin. He owed you big time.

“Well, you are a talented athlete.” You didn’t want to fuel what is probably already a massive ego, but you’d rather compliment his baseball skills than the fact that he was infamous for screwing around with half of the girls on campus. Technically, that was a feat of its own since he’d only been in school for a year.

“Oh, so you think I’m talented?” He rested a hand on your chair, leaning down to your level. Confidence oozed from every corner of his being and if you weren’t so self aware, perhaps you could’ve ended up like all those other victims of his charismatic behavior.

“I go to the games for Changmin,” you scoff, glancing away from his face to stop the heat rising up your neck. “I’ve only paid attention to you once or twice.”

“Yeah, sure. Let's go with that,” he bites his lip, blatantly checking you out. “I wouldn’t mind paying attention to you a little.”

“I’m unimpressed, Juyeon,” you snort, raising an eyebrow at him. “Does this shit really work on everyone?”

“I can drop the act if you want, baby. Just let me know when you’re ready to stop playing hard to get.” He stands upright, running a hand through his hair.

Every time you ran into Lee Juyeon after that, he was more and more insufferable. He knew his influence on you, too, if his smug fucking grin was anything to go by. You wish you could just slap it off of him. However, you stood by being the bigger person in any given situation, so that was off the table. (And half of you still felt a moral obligation to not get your friend into hot water.)

“Would it kill you to play nice every once in a while? I do live with the dude, you know.” Changmin whines, trailing you in the supermarket like a lost puppy.

“He’s got a point, N/N,” Kevin adds, humming as he tosses a boxed dinner into the cart. “I get that he’s a little bit of an overconfident douche, but rolling your eyes at him when he hasn’t even done anything just makes it worse on you. And JiChang, too, I guess.”

“Bro…”

You weren’t even sure why he decided to tag along with you and the other boys when you mentioned grocery shopping. In fact, he might as well have stayed his ass home if he was just going to gang up on you the whole time. Chanhee sighs dramatically, bringing your shopping cart to a halt.

“Can we not have a peaceful grocery trip? Is that impossible or something?” His lips form a thin line. “I swear, all we do is talk about how much Y/N hates Lee Juyeon. Can we please move on?”

“Thank you, Chanhee, I agree,” you nod along, walking backwards as you do so and ignoring the faces your friends make. “He makes me want to kill myself.”

“Who makes you want to kill yourself?”

You jump up, frightened by the sudden voice in your ear. Your friends all give you sheepish smiles, as if they’d already tried to warn you. (What shitty jobs they did.) With a hand over your heart, you turn around to meet— speak of the devil— none other than Lee Juyeon himself.

“What are you doing here?” Your eyes narrow and your arms cross over your chest. Luck could never be on your side when it came to this guy.

“Uh, last I checked, this was a public supermarket. Where I can publicly shop. I wasn’t aware that I had to run that by you. So sorry, sweetheart.” He pouts, his expression so theatrical you nearly give in to your constant urge to punch him in the face.

You feel your eye twitch, and it takes everything in you to step back and assess just how bad it would be if you committed murder right now. Changmin comes to your rescue, doing damage control as best as he can while Kevin attempts to talk you out of becoming a criminal.

The two frat brothers do their little fraternity handshake thing and then finally he’s out of sight, out of mind, allowing you to visibly relax. Chanhee purses his lips. “Okay, so maybe I do see where the anger comes from. And holy shit, Y/N, you have the patience of a saint.”

“The person you have called is unavailable! At the tone, please leave a message. When you have finished recording, you may—”

“Goddammit.” You curse, ending the unsuccessful call.

The downside of working far from campus, was working far from campus. You didn’t have your own car and usually relied on one of your roommates for a ride to and from. But now here you are, stranded at work while it’s pouring cats and dogs outside. Kevin was in class and Chanhee wasn’t picking up his phone. You could call Changmin, but you’re pretty sure he also had a class around this time.

Just as you’re about to succumb to your demise, you receive a text from Chanhee.

[2:57 pm] michael jackson: IM SO SORRY AJNSSJNW BUT SOMETHING CAME UP WITH A GROUP PROJECT

[2:57 pm] michael jackson: DONT WORRY THOUGH, IVE GOT IT COVERED UR STILL GETTING PICKED UP

“Could today get any worse?” You mutter to yourself, locking your phone and tossing it into your purse. As if your timing couldn’t be better, you spoke entirely too soon. Your eyes squint at the unfamiliar car rolling up under the carport. Your brows furrowed in confusion, because you had no idea who could be your saving grace. Chanhee was a wild card so who knew who he had on speed dial.

But then the passenger window rolls down and you wish the ground would just swallow you whole. Lee Juyeon grins that stupid fucking grin of his, beckoning you to his car as it unlocks when he shifts into park. You shake your head.

“No way. There is absolutely no way I am getting into that car.” You shout over the pelting rain.

Juyeon tsks, his eyes rolling when he reaches over the center console to open the door for you. “Is there anyone else who would drop everything they’re doing to pick you up in this weather?”

Your lips pull into a flat line. The answer was no, you didn’t have anyone else who would drop everything they were doing to pick you up in this weather. That was the reason Juyeon was here, you supposed. It didn’t mean you weren’t at least going down without a fight, though. Except, Lee Juyeon was a man who was all too comfortable with how expressive you were. Most notably towards him.

“What? Cat got your tongue, sweetheart?”

“Fuck you. I’d rather walk.” You seethe, starting straight in the direction of your apartment. Juyeon groans at first, your constant need to prove yourself getting on his nerves for once. Then his eyes widen slightly when he realizes you’re not joking.

The truth was that the rain was freezing and you’d love to be in the shelter of a warm car. In fact, you didn’t really care that Juyeon was the person driving. But you were too deep into the bit now. You couldn’t just turn around and get in the car, for you had a pride to protect at this point.

“Shit.” Juyeon swears under his breath, reaching into the backseat to grab an umbrella. Sure he loved to tease you and rile you up, but he wasn’t cruel. Your friends would have his head on a silver platter if he let anything happen to you.

You pause in your steps when you’re no longer being showered in rain water. Juyeon holds the umbrella over your head with a worried expression. You feel kind of bad for making him chase after you even though he’d already gone out of his way to pick you up. Sometimes you wish your ego wasn’t so fragile. Maybe then you could accept help when you needed it instead of making things worse.

“Can you please stop being so stubborn and just get in the damn car, Y/N? Do you have to make everything difficult all the time?” Usually, pissing you off made him over the moon, but you can tell he’s not exactly pleased at the moment. You swallow thickly, nodding quietly and following him back to his car.

The whole drive to your apartment is silent save for the song playing on his speakers. It’s not as loud in comparison to the storm outside, but you’re grateful that it’s filling the space between you. If only Lee Juyeon hadn’t done such an excellent job ticking you off like a bomb, then maybe you would’ve just hopped in the passenger seat with ease. But no, he had to goad you until you made an irrational decision and now here you are.

As he pulls up to your building, you say a little prayer that you don’t regret your next actions. He stops as close to the stairs as he can, but you turn to him before unbuckling your seatbelt. With a deep breath, you ask, “Would you like to— uh— come inside?”

He glances from you to the stairs and then shrugs, parking in the nearest empty spot. He holds the umbrella over both of you as you make your way to your unit, lightly sprinting so you don’t get anymore soaked than you already are. You figured the least you could do was invite the dude into your home and offer him some hot tea, just so he could warm up before heading back to the TBZ house. Your roommates not being here to make fun of you was also a plus.

There’s still an unspoken tension even after you’ve shed your raincoats and shoes by the front door, settling into your apartment and its coziness. Juyeon sits at the breakfast bar as you busy yourself with preparing the kettle and getting a couple tea bags. His watchful gaze is a little intimidating now that you’ve seen his serious side.

Once you’ve finished making the tea, you set his mug in front of him. You look everywhere but him when you say, “I’m gonna take a shower if you’re okay waiting out here by yourself.” He doesn’t respond verbally, so you take it as your cue to leave.

You turn on the water to let it heat up before gathering your essentials. When you’ve completed your back and forth trip from the bathroom and your bedroom, you’re finally ready to just relax in your shower and forget about today’s events. But how could you ever truly relax with Lee Juyeon in your space, permeating your peace?

As you’re shutting the bathroom door, a foot jams itself between the threshold and stops you. You glance up from the floor to meet Juyeon’s eyes. They’re darker than you’re used to, a deep shade of brown that has your stomach twisting into knots.

“You know, Y/N, this game of cat and mouse is starting to get old,” he takes a step into the steaming room, locking the door behind him and trapping you. “Just admit to yourself that you want me.”

You sputter at his bold words, because you don’t. You don’t want Lee Juyeon. Why would you want Lee Juyeon? “I’m not gonna lie to myself. I don’t want you.”

He laughs humorlessly, closing the gap between you just a little more. You don’t have it in you to back away from him. He reaches a hand up to tuck some damp hair behind your ear. You’re still wet and cold from your stupid idea to walk in the rain, but Juyeon plans to warm you up perfectly. “You sure?”

“Positive,” you breathe.

“Why don’t we test that theory?” Now he’s got you backed into the wall, his face a hair’s breadth distance from your own. “I have a feeling I can change your mind.”

You don’t know if it’s the heat of the bathroom or Juyeon’s lips being so close, but so far simultaneously that has your brain turning into static. Your head feels fuzzy, like you’re watching TV on an empty channel through a blurry lens. You lick your lips, vision trained on his. “Why don’t we?”

That’s all the confirmation he needs to press your mouths together in a searing kiss, hotter than the temperature of the room. You feel him smile against you when you make no move to push him away, instead carding your fingers through his hair. He groans when you tug a bit, twirling the longer strands around your index.

His hands slip under your top, thumbs rubbing circles into your waist. This is a terrible idea. Deep down you’re fully aware that you’re probably making a huge mistake by giving into Juyeon just like every other girl on campus ever has. But paired with how intoxicating his mouth feels on your own and the steam filled bathroom clouding your head, you can’t seem to find a logical reason to stop.

When you part for air, you both start stripping your top layers, resuming your attacks on each other’s lips once you’re left in nothing but undergarments. Juyeon trails kisses along the side of your neck, nipping and sucking wherever he feels fit. You gasp when he finds that particular spot that contributes to the butterflies fluttering about your stomach. “God, you’re so annoying.”

“Yeah?” And despite getting ready to give you the pleasure of your life, his grin against your skin still manages to irritate you. “You hate me so much, huh?”

“Mhm,” you whine as his fingers dip beneath the band of your panties, toying with your sensitive cunt. “Hate you so bad— ah…”

“You might wanna shut up soon, sweetheart,” Juyeon warns, sliding his ring finger between your lower lips. “Or else I’ll give that mouth something to do.”

“I’ll do whatever I want,” you pull his hand from your underwear, kneeling in front of him when he furrows his eyebrows in confusion. Your nails scrape lightly down his abdomen before hooking into the waistband of his briefs, freeing him from the material. It takes a lot out of you to not visibly react at the sight of his cock, hard and flushed to the tip. You couldn’t dare inflate his ginormous ego, the situation you were currently in already doing enough on its own. His size is impressive too, making you wonder just how he expects you to take him like a champ.

“What a fucking brat,” he hisses, your tongue swiping along the underside of his dick. “Always gotta have the last word, don’t you?”

“Mmmm,” you moan, mouth full with just the tip. You’d never been the type of person who cared about size. As long as they knew what they were doing and made you finish, you held no qualms with their length. In fact, you don’t think you ever even paid much attention to anyone’s dick in your life. But if there was anything to back Lee Juyeon’s cockiness, it had to be, well, his cock.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve imagined this moment,” he confesses, wrapping your hair around his hand into a makeshift ponytail. “But, fuck, this is so much better.”

The admission shoots straight to your core and you find yourself whimpering, the vibrations against his dick driving him crazy. He has to support his weight with one hand flat to the wall, the other still tightly fisting your hair. With every suck and flick of your tongue, he tugs a little more, the sting on your scalp providing you with more pleasure than pain. You pull off of him to take a breath, jerking him off as you do so.

“Am I meeting your expectations?” You bat your eyelashes up at him, drool sliding down your chin and makeup smeared under your eyes in tear streaks. He groans at the sight of you, forcing you to a standing position so he could kiss you again.

You start dragging him towards the shower, unhooking your bra and stepping out of your panties. He raises an eyebrow at you, amused. “You want me to fuck you in the shower, baby? Have you slipping all over my cock?”

“Duh,” you can’t help but roll your eyes at his question, practically pawing at his underwear to get him out of them fully. “Did you think I sucked your dick on the bathroom floor for fun?”

“That mouth of yours is gonna get you in trouble one of these days.”

He kicks them off, reconnecting your lips as you step into the shower. The hot water hits your back almost like a massage, synchronously getting in your mouth as you make out with Juyeon aggressively. It’s like he can’t get enough of you, big hands kneading and groping everywhere and nowhere all at once. You feel insane, especially with how good of a kisser he is. It’s like you’re on cloud nine and nothing’s capable of bringing you down.

When he’s finally lost his patience, he spins you around, pressing you cheek first to the shower wall. You feel him against your lower back, his lips leveling with your ear. In spite of acting as if he had himself under control, you can hear the pant in his breathing, deep voice a little desperate than usual. He has a hand gripping your thigh and picking up your leg.

“No protection?” He asks, his cock already gliding between your folds in anticipation.

“Mm-mm,” you shake your head as best you can with his body sandwiching you to the tiled surface. “Wanna feel you raw.”

“Fuck, you can’t say shit like that to me,” Juyeon groans into your ear, giving no warning as he spits down your front and hikes your leg higher, thrusting into your cunt. “You’ll make me wanna stay buried in you forever.”

You moan, hand coming up to hold the side of his head as he fucks you into the shower wall. If someone were to ask about this very moment, you weren’t too sure how you’d defend yourself. A moment of weakness, perhaps? But if a moment of weakness felt this fucking good every time, you might fall into a habit of judgment lapses.

He nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck, nibbling and biting your shoulder and the surrounding area with each snap of his hips. The angle he drives into you at has stars forming at the back of your vision, the tip of his cock brushing that one spot deep inside of you whenever he thrusts up. You don’t even think his entire dick is in you as he does this, but you also don’t really have the mind to care, way too focused on memorizing the veins of his shaft with your walls.

You’re far too gone to consider the consequences of your actions, the horizon of your release just beyond your fingertips now. You’d never needed someone so viscerally before, so carnally. Yet here you were, sucking Lee Juyeon’s cock in with your pussy like you were a damn vacuum. The sounds you’re making bounce back and forth on the walls, no doubt louder than the shower water itself.

“I— I-I’m so— fuck,” you mewl, words wobbling. “I’m so, so close, Juyo.”

“Yeah, baby?” He sighs in your ear, nudging your sensitive clit with his thumb while raising your leg as much as he physically can. “Me too, where do you want me?”

“Inside,” you don’t think you even make sense anymore, babbling as he continues to fuck you stupid. “Please. Want you to cum inside me.”

Juyeon grits his teeth, pleased with himself that he didn’t orgasm right then and there. He uses his last ounce of strength to get the two of you off together. “C’mon, sweetheart, cum for me.”

The fogginess subsides pretty quickly after you’ve finished, your brain registering what just happened almost instantaneously. If you weren’t so hypersensitive, you would’ve pulled him out yourself and scrambled to flee the scene. (And maybe even the country.) There are many more rational thoughts running through your head now. The entire trajectory of your life has just been changed, whether you realized it or not. But the biggest issue was:

What the hell do you do now?

#the boyz #the boyz x reader #the boyz smut #tbz #tbz x reader #tbz smut #the boyz juyeon #tbz juyeon #lee juyeon x reader #lee juyeon smut #juyeon x reader #juyeon smut #juyeonszn #juyeonszn.100🪩

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pommunist · 1 month

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past anon who talked about the alex's first priority being money/funds and who is apparently based to you (hola :D👋)

after reading back my ask i realize that i may have come off as a little bit harsh (not as harsh as you french fans, you guys are BRUTAL) i wrote most of it in a burst of frustration at the whole admin thing lol.

i don't think alex is some disney villian who is twirling his mustache as he watches on his past workers cry out of frustration because of the lack of communication. he just isn't as experienced when it comes to these kinds of things.

he's doing what he thinks is best from his lawyer studies, don't gave out any info that isn't 100% guaranteed, anything that comes with money is a huge legal problem and must be fixed as first, those type of things.

everyone that has known alex personally has said that he's a genuinely sweet guy (well, except his some of his workers but doesn't even have a relationship with them because of the lack of communication LMAO /coping) i don't think any of his current actions are done out of malicious intent or whatever.

all of his recent streams are probably a way to earn money and the whole egg merch is probably for even more money (the bio of the acc literally says that it is ''the best way to fund qsmp'') (i've already talked about my opinions on that)

the whole not communicating is so ''he doesn't make false promises'' and also, so he doesn't get sued. (understand where he is coming from but huge disagree)

the not having ways of contacting him via twt isn't done as a result of this situation, he deleted twt some time ago (very unfortunate timing, like, 2 days before lea's statements. he should've reinstalled it, but he doesn't need to anymore since he now has an email for when he needs to be contacted)

the events that are currently happening have been planned for months in advance (still think he should put them back a bit. i guess the german streamer is kinda understandable since he has apparently been waiting for like, 10 months?? still think he should've put it back)

i think what he wants is for when pomme's admin comes back for the work environment to be perfect but i still heavily disagree with his ways. the way he's going about it now is only going to lead to burnout from the workers :( none of what i said justifies the lack of communication btw. his actions come off as kinda tone-deaf right now.

although with the whole (understandable) anger from people about the twt admins + the union + jose's statements + the french's statements, i do think he will start actually communicating with his workers (he kinda has to with the whole jose thing, unless he wants all of qstudios garbage out in the public, which is like, a really bad thing for him)

unfortunately, i'm only based when i'm angry <3 so this is probably dogshit. but the problems in qstudios ARE fixable. (this is either gonna end up aging like milk or like fine wine. i hope it's the fine wine since i love qsmp and i'll probably completely give up on learning french/spanish if it doesn't)

holà again !

I personally didn’t think you were too harsh on your last ask, you had genuine concern about the course of his actions and it didn’t feel like you were attacking him or anything !

I don’t know Q personally obviously so I won’t speculate too much on what he’s thinking through this, but I agree with you that he probably isnt an evil guy and doesn’t have bad intentions with it.

However I still stand with the fact that he was at least negligent towards what was happening behind the scenes of his passion project and should’ve been more aware of the inner workings of the QSMP.

This isn’t an easy situation, especially with all the legal aspects (which should’ve been thought of beforehand btw) but I think everyone or at least most people who criticise what is going on are doing in first because they want the admins to be treated well but also because they want to trust that Q will do the right thing.

Admins and fans alike wouldn’t spend so much time getting updated on the situation and writing their thoughts if they didnt have at least some hope that things can be fixed.

Now it’s up to Qstudios to prove those who believe right and to prove those who lost trust (can’t blame them) wrong !

#qsmp discourse

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blackjack-15 · 4 months

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Hi I just got through reading all of your liveblogging posts about The Bear! It was a delight to read all of your real-time predictions that ended up coming true, you really had this show’s number from the jump lol. Do you have any predictions for next season? Most fans think Carm and Syd are headed for an explosive confrontation, but are any other storylines, scenes, character beats, etc. that you think we might see?

This is super nice of you, anon! thank you so much for following my chaotic ramblings XD and hey it's a lot easier to know what might happen in the show when they've got such competent writers/directors! tho they surprised me a fair number of times (i don't think i'll be over the interplay/intercuts of claire, carmy, and syd at the end of 2X07/start of 2X08 any time soon), which keeps things fun

as far as predictions for next season...i think it's hard to say without having the first five minutes of S3 in front of me (they do such a good job setting up the tone and conflicts of the season in the first little bit of S1 and S2!), but i've got

a couple things i'm pretty sure about:

-more REM songs (only thing i'm 100% positive on)

-more kitchen/cooking time for our mains, especially carmy. last season's renovations + cliche john hughes nonsense kept him mostly out of the kitchen from ep 3 on, and i'm 99% sure he'll be back with a knife in hand come S3

-nat giving birth to a girl (i'd love it but am not solid on predicting she'd be named some derivative of 'mary' (or a name meaning 'victory', such as nicole), given the berzatto family prayer).

i know the temptation for her to have a boy named after michael is strong b/c it's TV, but this series (rightly, in my mind) tends away from Lionizing the Dead simply b/c they're dead, and after spending S2 breaking down mikey (and showing mikey and nat's relationship, which like ever berzatto relationship wasn't super healthy), i'm hopeful and trusting the writers to avoid this. it wouldn't make me hate the show or anything, but it would honestly disappoint me unless done in a way (i honestly can't think of what way) that would make it okay. plus pete kinda screams girldad to me, and seeing carmy and richie with a little niece would be incredibly precious

-sydcarmy dustup of some kind, but i doubt it'll be as explosive as we've seen in the past, mostly b/c syd was stressed but exhilarated by success at friends & family and b/c i think carmy's (lack of) mental health will be brought up in relation to it

-solidifying of a secondary staff at the bear to let our regulars breathe a bit and have the bear feel like a real, functioning kitchen, not a mom and pop greasy spoon -- this started at the end of s2 but it needs to continue

-cicero setting the tone of the first few months of The Bear (and probably his commentary on carmy's relationships) -- we're not out of the realm of Complete and Utter Failure yet, lads, and the money is gonna come due -- whether by the guise of Friendly Uncle Jimmy visiting with Nat, or the mask of Cicero the Loan Shark coming out in full force

-art storyline with carmy figuring out what will replace the awful painting (i'm going to guess it'll be something of his design, but it'll at least be something he feels represents him, given the comments last season)

-major theme of carmy figuring out what he wants vs what others want for him. him analyzing his relationship with claire by himself -- or, my preference, talking it out with Tina, who he seems to be able to open up to pretty well -- is part of this

things that have to happen but i have no idea how/to what resolution:

-carmy and richie addressing the "donna" fight/comment. it's gonna be multi-ep (neither one is great at complimenting the other to their face and tend to do it behind the other's back, but richie is especially bad at it), and it's gonna hurt.

-pete spilling the beans to Someone (not nat but not sure who) about donna being at f&f

-resident claire's poor little hurt feelings from trespassing into the kitchen and eavesdropping on then leaving carmy in the middle of a really, really bad attack (yes i'm phrasing it that way because it's true <3)

-something about tiff's upcoming wedding (marcus getting contracted/recommended to make dessert for it would be painful but oh so crunchy)

-carmy meets syd's dad. he's proud of her and her success and you know he's gonna want to meet her business partner

nebulous predictions:

-ebra's storyline with him carving out a niche at the sandwich window getting screentime

-tina coming more into her own and maybe getting a designated storyline (about what? no idea)

-more gary nonsense. man lives the wildest life and we see almost none of it

-carmy working through what cooking means to him and what it means in relation to the bear/the berzattos/sydney

-nat's water breaks/she goes into labor at the bear. not sure the baby will actually be born there (i'd guess probably not on the whole), but the process will Begin there

-syd distraction/love interest storyline. not even her dating particularly, just her attention being Split and having the shoe be on the other foot for carmy as they navigate what being business partners means outside the kitchen

-fak time. he's a little uncertain, a little wandering in the restaurant, and he was a major...antagonistic force, let's say? in S2. his place in the world of the bear needs clarification and harmony, and his identity needs solidity and sureness

things that aren't impossible/improbable but would be a Little Treat for Me specifically:

-chef jess being invited to the bear by richie (let the man have people outside the bear and his kid/ex! garrett may come too i'll allow it)

-the return of louie my beloved (helping out at the sandwich window? he makes a good foil to Young Carmy, so i would like to see him more -- carmy in Full Mentorship would be a thing to see, and it would be a being-better-than-mikey-was-to-him thing as well. it's narratively crunchy and provides lots of room for growth, but can be done in ways that don't involve louie, so that's why it's here)

-syd's best meal + comment about being a regular at The Beef coming back. do i think they eventually will? yes. am i aware that my desire for them is prolly stronger than it narratively should be be predicted? also yes. could this easily be combined with carmy meeting syd's dad? yes and i will break the sound barrier

-carmy drawing a dish syd comes up with. a hand-drawn menu for the bear would be Incredible, and syd's face looking at a sistine-chapel-style drawing of a dish she came up with? tremendous, chef

thing that i want to be brought up more than Anything but don't predict it'll be touched (at least directly):

-carmy yelling for syd during his attack in the walk-in (i'm sorry you can't have the man yelling "MARCUS GET ME SYD. GET ME SYD" and expect me not to want it on a billboard

that got long, sorry anon, but there we go -- 4am rambling off-the-cuff about S3...only months to go, hopefully....

#the bear #anti claire bear #asked and answered #sorry this is like a novella but i can't keep my mouth shut! y'all know how it goes #syd x carmy #i refer to her as 'resident claire' because 1) no surname and 2) referring to her place in the bear universe as a Type rather than a person #she's not claire a fleshed out character; she's the resident claire; the archetype that is a vehicle for conflict + growth #also because i am as catty as the day is long and i can be! been in fandom too many decades not to call it as i see it #that and it's her job title so like it works but it works in so many different ways #it's like poetry it rhymes dot jpeg #i might be way off base but i'm p sure i'm at least on the field

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thecatinthepurplepants · 8 months

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so I have a headcanon for how John might look to someone actually able to see him and I, of course, had to decide on the headcanon that would make it damn near impossible to draw him (at least to draw him consistently) but I like the idea too much to let it go

I probably SHOULD put this under a read more since it got kinda long but uuuhhh... don't wanna lol

SO I feel like when John first attached to Arthur, back when he was still just "the entity", his appearance was very... malleable. At first he looks like how a lot of people depict him, a vaguely human shapped black shadow with yellow eyes pearing over Arthur's left shoulder, but as soon as they got out into the world he started seeing ✨️fashion✨️ in the wild that changed. Even though he didn't remember it, he's a piece of the King In Yellow, and I'm willing to bet that the ol banana monarch has a passion for adornment and a tendency towards vanity thats usually associated with royalty that John would unknowingly inherit (I mean, we already know this, he bitches about Arthur's clothes getting ruined often enough now that they got that nice new suit)

I think at first he sees some men wearing nice hats when him and Arthur step outside into the city for the first time and something in him just goes "ooohhh" and one just kind of appears on him, probably with a gold band or little adornments like feathers and shiny dangly bits hanging from the brim. I don't even think he'd be able to choose just one style, shifting from one to another every so often as he sees more around or mixing and morphing styles into looks he likes more (I think he'd be partial to structured hats, fedoras, homburgs, maybe even a skimmer hat but with the rim stretched out to be more of a structured sun hat for extra flare)

But of course his newfound sense of style doesn't end with men's fashion cuz he doesn't know what a gender is and I highly doubt thay anyone that can see him would care enough to try and impose gender roles on him

He sees women passing by on the street wearing makeup and suddenly he has gold lipstick and shimmering yellow eyeshadow over shining gold lashes long and full enough to make any Hollywood starlet absolutely sick with envy

He sees someone more eccentric who's absolutely decked out in gaudy costume jewelry and he can't just NOT have all that wonderful clinking, shiny treasure for himself so he's now draped in gold chains, necklaces and bracelets of huge chunks of polished stones in both simple and elaborate designs, amber, tiger's eye, citrine, anything he wants really but it will always turns some shade of yellow or gold no matter how much he would want it to be another color (I think the best he could do in way of colorful variety is turquoise with veins of gold running through it)

And the funniest thing?

He can't see any of it.

He sees through Arthur's eyes and even if he has a bit of an extra sense for being able to see supernatural shit he's still not visible to himself. All of the changes are subconscious decisions he doesn't even realize he's making, his metaphysical body altering to suit the person he's growing into. None of the other rare entities and people they've met who can see John commented on it, seeing how there's usually more pressing matters involved. Plus I highly doubt the Trader would be one to make observations on someone's fashion sense unless they were offering one of their accessories in trade, and only then if it actually had any value to him.

Tbh it would be funny if the King In Yellow, during his first in person meeting with the Jarthur unit, had stopped mid introduction just "You insolent fucking worm, you need to return what's mi- what... what the hell are you wearing??? No, I'm not talking to you, you fucking worthless mortal, silence- yes, YOU, whats- whats all... THAT??? I mean, it's not BAD but it's a bit... inelegant, don't you think?" and both John and Arthur are like "what the FUCK are you TALKING ABOUT???" while the Dancers are humming and nodding their agreement while they also quietly judging John's intangible outfit

Kayne would ABSOLUTELY comment on it though but only to either taunt John while confusing the shit out of him OR to toss him the odd (equally confusing) compliment about his fashion sense and how he's branched out from the Kings personal flare. BUT he's also a Stinky Bitch (affectionate) so maybe he just wouldn't let John know that he can see him at all because he thinks it's funny that he doesn't know what he looks like

I dont think it would remain unstable as it was when he was fresh out the book, though.

After Arthur's coma, the period where John was given (and accepted) his name and the foundation of his humanity, I feel like he'd settle in his appearance as his sense of self does. He'd change to fit his different moods but it wouldn't be as much of a chaotic kaleidoscope of fashions shifting and melding with each other as he was at first. Before it was very fluid, changing as he sees different styles or as he felt different from one second to another, so unsure of exactly who and what he was.

I think he'd stick with the hat, wide brimmed and still with little golden baubles hanging around the edge and a golden band, but I think the top would remain hazy and undefined because I dont think he'd be able to decide on which style he likes best. He'd definitely keep the chains and jewelry, maybe a shodowy imitation of the shape of a suit jacket or the plunge of a low v-necklined dress, depending on the day.

I think when he gets especially angry (usually at Arthur, because he's the only one who can really get him absolutely blistering pissed without even trying) the hat billows like its caught in a fierce wind, not like fabric, but like heavy smoke. The stones of his yellow jewelry glows like miniature sun's with the force of his emotions, chains tarnishing, and even his makeup turning bright neon, toxic yellow against the void of his intangible "skin" like the warning of a poisonous animal if he's mad enough

When he's scared, him and Arthur trying to hide from whatever horror or adversary they've encountered this time, the brim of his hat melts back several inches, the baubles blinking out of existence entirely like its trying to clear his line of sight, makeup and jewelry fading in their color and shine as his borrowed animal instincts scream at him to be small, be unnoticeable, hide hide hide

And in those moments (ones that happen entirely too often for John's comfort or sanity) when the worst has come again, Arthur's hurt, worse than usual, and it seems like he's fading fast from his injuries, the things that John's draped himself with as he's learned who he is start to fade away too. As John realizes he might be losing the only person he's ever had (again) he feels like he's losing himself, the person he's become in his time with Arthur. The panic sets in and he goes through the stages he always does, shouting at Arthur to keep moving, not to give up, begs him to stay with him, not to leave him alone, to stop fucking saying goodbye and keep fighting, his cobbled together sense of identity melts off of him like dust as his world crumbles.

But there are moments, few and far between though they may be, where he and Arthur get little bit of real joy. When Arthur's finally, fucking finally freshly washed, shaved, and fed a hot meal and John can actually feel him relax into a real bed. When they've bought a nice new suit and handkerchief (that Arthur let John pick out himself) and John can tell Arthur that he looks handsome in this cut and color. When John spots something he thinks is odd and describes it to Arthur in a way that gets a real, full belly laugh out of his human, even if he doesn't understand what exactly it was he said that was so funny. The yellows of his apparel and makeup shine and swirl together, the stones of his jewelry seem to dance around each other in their configurations while the colors swim inside them like a lava lamp or glitter inside a bottle of opaque liquid. The baubles along the brim of his hat rapidly change in shape and size, the brim itself seeming to bloom, stretching out even further like a cat luxuriating in a sunbeam.

Anyway, tl;dr John's an eldritch entity and I just think he deserves to have a shifting appearance that he builds around himself over time like one of those bugs that sticks shit to its body to build a shell but in, like, a cunty way

And also I think John should be allowed to be incredibly expressive but in a metaphysical way that ties to his appearance itself

#malevolent #malevolent podcast #john doe #john malevolent #john doe malevolent #arthur lester #headcanon #john doe headcanons #malevolent headcanon #long text post #the cat in the purple pants chat #i kinda wanna draw this anyway even though i know its gonna be a pain in the ass to try and depict the way i imagine #I'd have to animate a few of them to really get it down how it is in my head #why do i do this to myself lmaooo

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pythiaswine · 1 year

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CAN I JUST TALK ABOUT HOW BAD I WANTED LMM TO LEGITIMIZE LAMS but i kept being let down over and over again like ughhhh. first he gives the Angelica relationship a whole song and subplot and yes it was great, the whole musical's a lyrical, compositional, choreographed masterpiece BUT WE AREN'T HERE TO DISCUSS THAT. we are here to talk about how his source material was biased because Chernow gave breath to the Angelica thing, as improbable as it was (especially compared to the probability of the Laurens/Hamilton relationship? homophobia.) but then picture it, I'm a young, naïve teenager, I'm very fixated on lams and history, I loved the Hamilton musical, was a Hamilton teen and that part of me is irreparably burned into my brain. then LMM drops this sneaky little tidbit like the beacon of wisdom his fans see him as bc he wrote a historical self-insert fanfic for broadway, he says the Laurens/Hamilton relationship was real. great! but he didn't actually put it in the musical and that disappointed me. And damn, okay, he had a few lines here and there in the off-broadway version that were cut but maybe that wasn't his fault or maybe he planned on fleshing it out more and had to cut it down to make it more palatable for the people sponsoring his ride to broadway, a pathetic excuse but it could make sense. For all that, I could have forgiven, forgotten, etc etc... but I will NEVER forget naïvely believing during the year the Hamildrops were released that we'd finally get a Laurens/Hamilton song. In April it didn't happen, I thought okay, maybe pride month. Didn't happen in pride month. Didn't even happen in September or October, or as a last-minute gay reveal in December. It just didn't happen at all. We even got some covers of songs that already existed without notable variations on the lyrics and it's like... bro couldn't have done the bare minimum and had a Laurens cover of Satisfied? That's the moment I was let down for real. I had truly BELIEVED that because he said himself that the Laurens/Hamilton relationship was real, he'd actually follow through on something that could be digested by the fans more than a forgotten tweet. but damn it hurt. absolutely no queer representation in a musical about Alexander Hamilton. bro. to play devil's advocate, there is no way to "prove" hamilton wasn't straight (eye-roll) but it's not like Hamilton: An American Musical is historically accurate in the least. It's embellished, fun, glamorous. It paints people in their best (unless you're charles lee lol) considering it's about a bunch of people who definitely were not kickass abolitionist BIPOC, but because LMM found it important to represent America today, he made the cast very inclusive to cultures and ethnicities of those these historical figures oppressed. so why can't he fictionalize the story a bit more? it's not even FICTION BRO it's literally more provable (and less problematic and more interesting) than the Angelica/Hamilton affair so WHYYYY. all i mean to say is, i was very let down and i can't appreciate the musical or LMM the same as I did when i was younger because now it gives me the straight-man ick. the "yeah they were gay!" for ++ points with the lgbtq+ fans but a severe lack of action. i hate that shit. real allies would say "fuck your homophobia, i'm publishing my art as it is even if i face backlash and censorship," because that's how shit gets done. it really really let me down, that's all, good night.

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cuppajj · 2 years

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How would dating the LL even work?

So you wanna date the Lost Light?

It's true that LL would be a very caring and understanding romantic partner but it's harder than you may think!

First of all:

LL hasn't really thought much about romantic relationships. They've seen plenty in their lifetime, and while they've wondered what it would be like to have a partner(s) themself, they know that 1) they're not a normal cybertronian, and 2) it's not a major priority for them. So expect LL not to have full interest just yet, you'd have to really touch their spark!

LL would not date any of their own crew, as they see themself as more of a guardian figure to them. This goes for anyone who has just become part of it, so you could only date if you're unrelated!

While you can flirt with them all you want, LL would want to know you as a close friend before pursuing anything romantic. If you want to commit to wooing the ship, don't expect it to take just a little bit. You're looking at a couple years of friendship at least!

You'd know them as Lightlost first, and they wouldn't reveal they're actually a titan unless you find out first, or long after you're close and they trust you enough. You'd have to understand why the cartographer is seemingly grappled to a wide radius that encompasses the entire ship.

Like everyone else, LL has standards! They'll warm up to kinder, adventurous, patient, caring, and/or aspirational people faster.

You have a less likely chance of romancing them if you're a human. They're more likely to see you in the same way they do their crew, even if you're not part of it, because of how small and fragile you are! While it's not impossible, it's certainly going to be an even slower burn than it already is.

You have more of a chance if you're almost if not as big as them... so other sentient ships/titans have an advantage lol

But what about once you're already dating? Having LL as partner would come with a lot of perks!

For starters, as long as you're in them, they'd be watching over you at all times (lest you told them not to of course), ensuring you're well protected. While they would still sorta uphold their neutral bias and not step in unless dire, crew/ship-threatening situations occurred, they could be a little more lenient for you.

Warm glasses of your preferred drink are on your nightstand every day when you wake up, after a long night of comfortable sleep with warm air flowing throughout your room.

LL wouldn't be a big kisser, at least not one who holds down for long. They're more of a cheek/head pecker, and this applies to the lips too.

Their love languages are acts of service, quality time, and words of affirmation. They're technically physical touch too, but to a lesser extent. They'll perform tasks in holoform that you might have been worrying about or that you couldn't find time for (such as cleaning your room), and making sure the halls are nice and pearly when you step out of your hab. They'd also want to have time to talk with you about things that interest either of you, as you sit somewhere like in their oil reservoir. You're not opposed to simply speaking to them through a screen/speaker so they don't have to use energy to project Lightlost, but they'd insist they do! That way, you could see all the emotion they'd want you to see.

They wouldn't give you a lot of baby names, mainly just ''sweetspark.'' But they'll use any name you'd want them to use too

The only thing you'd have to put up when dating LL is that they'll sometimes treat you like they treat Rodimus... expect them to ask you if you've finally cleaned your desk, or beg for you to go to sleep because it's 4 am and lights-on is in two hours! And they'll tell you that you need to hit the washracks, too. It's not like they're trying to embarrass you, they just have your best interest and they want you to know that.

Of course, they want you to tell them if they do anything wrong, and they'll understand and apologize.

Overall they're pretty doting!

Unfortunately, you probably couldn't sparkbond with LL, as their spark is too huge and potentially dangerous. You'd have to be content with Lightlost's holographic one.

So with that knowledge... good luck XD i found this ask very cute!

#sentient lost light au #lost light #maccadam #cjj askbox #lovely anon

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pinkytoothlesso11 · 6 months

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20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @niemalsetwas! Thank you! This is a long one, but very interesting well rounded questions for fic writers. I'll tag: @whitherwanderyouspirit, @toodrasticallydumb, @nickelwick, @bluedaddysgirl, @megan0013 and @rosemaidenvixen. Not obligated to do this, just thought it may be fun!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 16! 13 of which are all Trollhunters lmao.

2. What's your total A03 word count?

542,419 words. Wow. That's a little crazy ngl.

3. What fandom's do you write for?

Mostly Trollhunters/Tales of arcadia. But I've written a oneshot for She-Ra and the Princesses of Power and one for Scrooge: A Christmas Carol (2022). And I've done a multichapter fic for Arcane: League of Legends. Probably going to do more fics for that eventually. And I have two planned for The owl house I'm really excited about!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Challenging Destiny

Heal what has been lost

A change in a moment

Heart of Stone

After the moon rises

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! In my first fic I was hesitant to the first couple of chapters, but now I make a effort as I know how awesome it is to get a reply from the author on fics I've left comments on myself. And also because sometimes I have wonderful conversations!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is a bit hard to pin down, because while a decent amount of my fics go really, really angsty, they tend to end on a slightly hopeful note. But I'd think it's either Through the Veil which while the actual end is rather uplifting, it's overshadowed by the torment all the characters have gone through or chapter 4 of my prompt collection for Stricklake month: corruption. Which is... Sad.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm well my main fics are not finished so I can't put any of them down... Er most of them end happily? I guess for the top one A change in a moment, since I also barely killed any characters in the end...

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No. Very thankfully.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Anything explicit? No. I've tentively suggested it, but not in any detail.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have not yet. One of my aforementioned Owl house fics I have planned will be a crossover, with Trollhunters, but nothing crazy.

Unless we're talking about the Arcane/Disney Tangled crossover, but that's a soft crossover, with a wholly Arcane cast of characters.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope. At least not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, not to my knowledge.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No... It was going to happen at some point, but then it didn't. Which was fair, even if disappointing.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

It's Stricklake. I have loads more I like a lot, but that's the one that made me start writing fanfiction.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

This isn't really applicable, I plan to finish every fic I start, but there's one that's taking longer than I like to complete, which is Heart of Stone. It's close to the finish line, I just need to push myself there.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I'm pretty good at creating snappy dialogue with plenty of banter. And that my worldbuilding is pretty damn good. Also that I'm able to consistently keep a large cast of characters IN character and balance them all. I'm also fairly good at descriptions and gore.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I think sometimes I struggle with pacing, and the flow of my writing can be clunky at times. I also find filler chapters less interesting to write, even if they're important to set later things up.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I do end up doing this at one point or another in most of my fics! I use Google translate lol. I'm not ashamed. I also use italics if it's not English, with the translation in my notes at the end.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Trollhunters! The first show to get me into fandom, and fanfic and tumblr! It was the first in a lot of things.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Has to be Challenging Destiny! It's just about halfway, but the reception to it and it's faithfulness to the source, as well as the heaps of research and worldbuilding I've put into it has made it the fic I'm the most proud of. It's got a big cast of different characters to balance, which just adds to the challenge lol. But it's worth it.

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ace-the-fox · 10 months

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Hey, could you do cis Yoshikage Kira Mpreg headcanons??? If you want to that is. Pre or post Kosaku body swap, idc, can be any point in the part 4 storyline, if not multiple points in the story. Can include dark or angsty stuff like how he’d react to pregnancy loss. Thank you so much and I love your Kira fics btw!

Hi!! Sorry I took longer than even I expected lol

I ended up just going over most of the points you gave me, bc it just gave me more to talk about. And, given that I've written a LOT of Kira mpreg, I don't wanna sound like a broken record lol. That kind of made this more of a series of ideas rather than strict storylined hcs. I hope that's okay lol. It's still not too different from my usual headcanons, dw.

Cis Yoshikage Kira Mpreg Headcanons

So, how did it happen?? Cis mpreg is interesting because you gotta think a lil bit more about how babby is made (unless we're going abo/"it just works" here lol). Most understandable but also most interesting way it could work here is just a stand attack. I remember seeing a (vv likely now deleted :( ) fic where Kira killed a girl who was actually a stand user and got preggers which I think is 👀

HOWEVER it happens Kira... isn't happy that it did. Sure, he's a little less suspicious now – no-one would ever accuse a pregnant father of anything. But he's likely either a single father-to-be or, at least, got pregnant out of wedlock, which makes him stick out and not even for good reasons. And he can't STAND children. This is not a good time for him.

His obsession with his fitness and health means he is obsessed with "glowing" and staying fit during his pregnancy... It doesn't work. He is cranky, tired and large. Don't bother him, he does bite (and cries sometimes).

He says he's making an early start on the nursery and folding up baby clothes and all because he likes to be organised, which is true... but there is an odd tinge of ecstacy to it too, that he prefers not to think about.

He also started keeping an ultrasound picture in his wallet, simply because it was an easy go-to for small talk he didn't want to go through but had to. But, sometimes he will catch himself staring at it.

He does that thing that most pregnant people do where he talks to the baby in utero, and it sounds really sweet because he says it in the typical lovey-dovey tone... until you actually listen to him.

"You have made me pee three times today and I'm only four hours into the work day. You better not be even more of a bother when you come out, because you have ruined my life and body ENOUGH... Aren't I so lucky to have you? ^_^"

To kind of continue this plotline, and since I've already made a post about Kira getting pregnant after the faceswap, what if he got pregnant before the faceswap and had to pretend he wasn't to avoid suspicion. Obviously, Shinobu is oblivious at ever and thinks he's a bit under the weather at most. Hayato might pick up on it, though I'm not sure if he'd fully piece it together or not. Especially if we're going the "Kira gets pregnant from a stand attack" route and cis pregnancies aren't normal, because how could his DAD be pregnant??

Obvious pregnancy loss/miscarriage/stillbirth warning

As for the pregnancy loss... his actual reaction and feelings towards it depends on how early the loss is in the pregnancy. As discussed before, he's not thrilled at being pregnant, especially not at first. So, if it's an early miscarriage, it's pretty much just a relief for him. Luck being on his side yet again. A later miscarriage, or worse, a loss that results in an actual stillbirth... He's a little torn. He still somewhat believes it's for the best, that it makes his life easier and he'd probably not be the best parent anyways. But, perhaps, he didn't mind being pregnant as much as he thought he did. And he does miss having his little one more than he'd like to admit. He finds himself muttering to his stomach for months afterwards still, for a start...

#jjba #Yoshikage kira #mpreg #headcanons #jojo's bizarre adventure #mpreg tw #birth tw #miscarriage tw #stillbirth tw #i could have written a lot more for this but... this is long enough lmao #just my brainworms lol #anyways there's something wrong with him i love him sm <3

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omi-nor · 10 months

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Rules and brief about!

Welcome! This is a rp blog for ygo characters. Probably going to just stick with mostly Yami Bakura right now. But I might add others later.

Here are some general things you should know:

- I am very new to rp still. And still not super familiar with Tumblr. Still a lot of things I don't know or have never done before, so please keep this in mind

- It almost feels like my first time ever encountering ygo.

I've just picked up the manga for the 1st time about three days ago too.

- I am an adult and would prefer characters and muns to be 18+. No nsfw stuff with minors

- I really do try to read and remember everyone's rules, but sometimes I forget my own rules, so please forgive me if I forget something

- On that note, I am pretty forgetful, in general. I try to jot down notes to help with this, but there is a chance I may forget an ic interaction

- Try to give me about a week before giving me a reminder, though.

- I am VEEERY slow a lot of the time. Like, many days, maybe a week, slow. Sometimes more than a week. Not always, but just giving you a heads up.

- I try not to spam notifs or dash, but, it might happen, occasionally. I will always reblog from the source, unless the mun has made it explicitly clear that they actually prefer it be from them or don't care either way or, for some reason, I can't get to the source.

- I am kind of the exact opposite of most people, it seems. I actually would LOVE it if you went on a like spree. And I actually prefer it if you reblogged memes from me (as long as we have spoken at least once). And dash spam almost never bothers me. You can also come into my ims, that doesn't really bother me either.

- I'm not the best at # tagging stuff. I haven't really got a system going yet

- I follow #omi-nor and #ominor, but I don't look at tags very often

- Please don't be afraid to @ me for dash games, lmao. I usually love those. May not always do them, but yeah.

- I am a very heavy cell phone user, but, so far, I don't think I've run into trouble because of this. Trimming is the only big thing I have doubts about still right now.

- Rules could change. I tried my best to give some solid info here, but it could change. I'll probably make a post if there is a change?

(I really hope I'm not forgetting something because I am writing this from memory.)

- I am pretty anxious about stuff. I'm trying not to be, but it's hard.

Like, sometimes I look at a meme and there's a part of me that wants to do it, but there's also a little pang of anxiety a lot of the time. Lol, I dunno, man..

- I may not answer every ask or do everything thing. And I'm trying to get better at sometimes saying no to things. But I don't want people to get discouraged about interacting, either, lol.

I also try not to pressure other people and a lot of stuff coming from me doesn't have a whole lot of expectation attached to it. (Like, if I @ you in a dash game, for example)

- One important thing about communication: I always feel like I'm in a tug of war of trying not to talk too much to people because I'm worried I'm bothering them just a bit and then realizing I may not be talking enough, so I'm basically a stranger to them.

- "Plot something out" kinda scares me a bit, cause all the rp I've ever done - I think - was just off the cuff. Maybe it's not as scary as it sounds and maybe I've technically already plotted without knowing it. But yeah.

- I might need to take 2 or 3 weeks off from time to time. Just giving you a heads up. I'll try to say something.

- Going by Rainy for mun name. It just kinda stuck, lol.

- It's very easy for me to feel a bit overwhelmed. A part of me hates to do this, but I may need to temporarily shut down my ask box and not accept @s or #s for a bit if I feel like I have too much to do. I may need to make a very short ooc post just to let people know?

- I'm going to say, yes, all my memes have no expiration date, though.

- On a similar note, I think it's very possible I will go through your posts and send in stuff from a very long while back, in some cases. I usually assume there is no expiration date for other people's memes, but I usually try to ask first. But if there is, please feel free to ignore.

- I may or may not use icons

- If I see a reply to a thread and I am super tired, I won't read it until I've slept long enough for me to feel better (which could be a long time). I feel like being tired while reading really distorts things, so I like to only read it after I've gotten some sleep.

Honestly, the same is usually true for even ooc conversation. I just don't do well when I'm sleep deprived and sometimes I will just pass out for, like, 12 hours. (I LOVE it when this happens, though. I feel great afterwards.)

***ABOUT YAMI BAKURA***

My Yami Bakura is, right now, based off of anime English dub canon, for the most part. But now that I have the manga, it might slowly start to change a bit. Not sure.

I kinda wanted to try Ryo, but I haven't found Ryo in the English dub to be very inspiring, so far. A lot of his screen time was him just kinda flatly explaining the duels. Poor Ryo. You see glimpses of an actual character, at times, but it's rough, man.

I was debating keeping Ryo or not, but just to avoid confusion, I'm gonna wait to see what the manga has to offer.

Can I lastly just say? I really like the ygo rpc so far.

#rules

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frostfall-matches · 7 months

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[ matchmaking... ]

@oneordinaryautumn : [ match report ready ]

your romantic match is…

✦ Deuce Spade

Deuce is someone who would be able to match your pace well. He can be a bit dense sometimes, sure, but he gets pretty good at figuring out when you want to be affectionate and when you need a bit of space. Unlike some others, he doesn’t take it personally when you decide that you’re a bit overstimulated and you just need some time away from everyone (including him) to decompress. And then when you’re ready to meet back up with him again? Great! Deuce is, thankfully, pretty adaptable when it comes to the needs of the people he cares about, and he’s more than willing to put a bit of extra time and care into his relationships.

He relates to your short temper. Will both of you having a short temper cause you two to argue sometimes? Probably, it wouldn’t be surprising. But it’s almost nice in a way, because you two get it. Like you each understand what it’s like to have something set you off even if you’re trying your hardest to keep yourself calm and composed. Plus, getting angry about certain things is proof that you care enough about something to get emotional about it (even though, well, it’d often be preferable that your anger doesn’t cut anyone too deep even when you do get angry about something important). Thankfully, though, your arguments often don’t get too out of hand - even if you do tend to hold grudges.

Deuce balks a little when he finds out about your heritage. Chances are you're not the type to really talk about your family or your connection to them - and he’s not the type to be super informed about important or influential families and their kin unless they’re constantly in the news or on social media. So it feels a bit weird to him when he suddenly finds out after knowing you for a while that you’re actually someone who is actually, like, important. Or used to be, considering your estranged status. It really doesn’t change his opinion of you, he just has a bit of a panic at first (before knowing you’re estranged from your family) because he wonders if he’s actually worth your or your family’s time and attention. Once he knows you’re estranged and not interested in remaining in contact with your family, he does calm down a bit. He won’t pry, but he would appreciate knowing what you went through to make that decision so he knows how best to support you.

He can get a bit protective of you, especially when you’re unaware of your surroundings. He might nag just a bit, asking you to please, pay attention sometimes, the world isn’t always safe, and you’re not always going to have someone around if you get yourself into a situation. But he doesn’t really blame you at all - and in a way, it’s endearing, the way you’re a bit of a space cadet and lost in your own head. So, instead of nagging you too much, he’ll just be your protector instead, lol. He’ll make sure that you’re safe and warn you if you need to watch out for something.

Deuce loves your sense of humor. He does best with people who are a little fun, optimistic, and like to live life. It keeps life interesting and those types of people are often very enjoyable to be around. You’re quick to pick up on his particular sense of humor, so he’s often in stitches whenever you two are just hanging out and chatting - though he does not appreciate it as much when you say something stupidly funny in class and he’s trying his best not to crack up. Please. He will get so mad at you… or at least, that’s what he says, but you and he both know he’s not actually that serious about it. The most he’ll get is exasperated and embarrassed, but… what you said really was funny, he can’t be mad at that, lol.

He’s a little envious of how strong your magic is! You definitely have a lot of potential to be really powerful - even though right now, you struggle to control it fully. Deuce won’t let his envy get in the way of anything, though. He’s still growing and learning, and he’s coming to understand that there’s still a lot that only he can do, even if others have more magical capabilities. He’ll be a big support to you! If you need extra practice, he’ll stick by your side and practice with you. If there’s someone that he thinks may be able to help advise you on some things, he’ll go out of his way and ask for tips from them for you.

your platonic match is…

✦ Idia Shroud

You two share a number of interests. It’s fun having a buddy you can play games with, someone you can watch anime with, someone you can exchange manga recommendations with… So you two definitely bond over your shared interests and spend a lot of your free time with each other. There’s always something that you two are getting up to together, and your little hangout sessions vary in energy a lot. Sometimes you two are super into it, playing an intense round in a first person shooter or Mario Kart, watching some suspenseful action-packed show… And other days, it’s super chill when the two of you hang out. There’s a good variety, and you’re both willing to match each other’s energies for the day.

Idia definitely relates to your tense, unpleasant situation with your family, and the fact that you come from a family of importance. This is something not a lot of the other students really understand, aside from a select few. That being said, he definitely understands keeping your lineage under wraps and not wanting (or even not being allowed) to speak about it with the others. If you ever want to open up about how you feel about your family or your struggles, Idia is a good option for that. He’s very unlikely to talk about it with anyone else, and he understands not wanting to be stuck in your family’s shadow.

He really comes to like how supportive and kind you are. With one of your love languages being words of affirmation, you tend to lean into compliments and verbally being very supportive. With how reclusive he is, and how afraid he seems to be of facing criticism from others, he doesn’t often get that kind of support verbalized for him. At first he kind of goes ew, that’s cringy, don’t ever say that to me again but he warms up to it surprisingly quickly. You’ll still catch him off guard with it very often, though, and his face will turn bright red and he’ll mumble a thanks to you. He tries to return the favor but he’ll lean more towards getting you a snack or a small gift or something in return.

With your solid sense of humor, Idia is able to freely lean into his own off-beat jokes. His humor does not often match with mainstream humor - meaning his jokes (if he bothers to share them) might fall flat around the wrong crowd, and other people aren’t usually terribly funny to him. But with how determined you are to make him laugh… You can pull it off, once you learn what his humor is like. Idia doesn’t think he’s ever laughed so much around someone - he laughs on his own plenty, he’ll crack himself up, but around other people?? Very rare. But it’s a very welcome change and he’s happy to be able to joke around with someone and actually have them laugh as well.

He thinks it’s a good thing that you’re so passionate about your interests. And no, it’s not just because many of your interests and hobbies align. He very much embraces his own interests and they’re an important part of his life. So, knowing that you’re passionate about your own hobbies and subjects that interest you is really nice. Idia is definitely open to hearing you gush about his interests (after all, he ends up gushing about his often enough, so it’s only fair that he listens to you, too!). He also really likes how much of a creative and unique person you are - there’s never a dull moment with you!

#user matchup #twst #request

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faszaakisshobbi · 1 year

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April TC Challenge 1-8 | from @morethanwords0475 | also sorry for the long-ass answers I have quite literally nothing better to do with my time and got very carried away lol

Happy April Fool’s! Have you ever pranked your TC; if so, how did they react? I have not. I mean ill joke with them a tiny bit but never actual prank pranks. they r too scary and I am afraid what'll happen if I prank either of them lmao 💀

What is the earliest thing you can remember about your TC? damn I remember a tiny bit before the pandemic with П but no specific memories. but its crazy because I remember little before the pandemic. but for Б since I haven't known her as long I remember our first lesson and even down to what we worked on.

Do you like your TC’s subject? Do you consider yourself to be good at it? I love my tc's subjects. I mean... they both teach the same thing kind of. one is just orchestra conductor and one is private teacher. I love and am okay enough at classical music and the viola to want to continue it as a profession (right now at least and hopefully this will continue and I won't burn out).

How do you feel about your age gap? hmm well its a lot bigger than others. its funny because they are almost exactly the same age only separated by a few months. i'm always attracted to women older than me but idk. its not as weird with Б since I see her much more platonically (I think it will stay platonic🤞). idek with П.

Have you ever said anything to your TC that showed you favoured them? Have they said anything like that to you? if П doesn't know by now she is the stupidest person I've ever met. but I think she knows bc is very obvious I favor her and I think I've said to her face and written in cards n shit that she's one of the best teachers I've ever had. П also openly favors me in front of her classes with things she says and does (I could make a whole other post abt this). Б somehow knows every thought that goes through my head lmao so yeah. no fr tho I think she can see my admiration for her just through little things ive done around her/for her.

Have you ever noticed any small habits that they have? If so, what comes to mind first? П subtly sways back and forth when just sitting down and often fidgets with her hands/fingers, selves, buttons on clothes, zippers, etc. Б crosses her legs in a really specific way only when she's sitting on this tall stool she has in her front room. she also always wears her hair in the same way every day unless its a concert and even sometimes if its a concert she'll wear it like that.

What gift would you really like to be able to give them, regardless of if it’s realistic or not? I have this insatiable urge to get П a really nice neckless and get myself a similar one too. it would be really dainty and pretty and I have a few I have seen in mind. or get her some really nice perfume. but no I would seem like a creep especially with the perfume lmao I don't wanna turn into villanelle. idk what I would get Б, it would probably be something small and a very "its the thought that matters" gift bc she likes that stuff . or maybe some cool crystals or one of those little tied friendship bracelets if I had to pic something rn :))

Does your TC ever talk about what it was like when they were still a student? YESS!! they both do and I love hearing all their stories! they tell me about regular school teachers but especially music teachers of theirs and how they learned. they both grew up in 1980s Hungary so its just cool to hear about the classical music world and education then. Б has noticed I like hearing the stories and always tells me some at the end of lessons now!!

#female teacher crush #teacher crush #teacher crush community #tc challenge #teacher attachment #teacher x student #teacher love #tc crush #tc love #tc feelings #female tc #tc community #tc confessions #tc post #tc blog

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honeybunchcalum · 1 year

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Waterparks show recap

The time has come! i know you were all waiting at the edge of your seats, so here it is!

TLDR: this was one of the best shows I’ve EVER been to, top 2 for sure (maybe gvf first bc I was at Jake barricade but this is def its competitor). The setlist flowed well and showed where they’ve been as a band, who they are now, and where they plan to go. I am also a sucker for crowd interaction and talk breaks and as you know at a parx show with Awsten, I definitely got them. I love waterparks *blowing kisses to them* ❤️!!!!

M&G!!!

I was nervous out of my MIND I cannot lie to you. A few of the people I went with had done a M&G before and I was going in with no previous experience and a fear of being perceived by one of my fave bands. No stakes at all, definitely!

Shout out to Jimmy, he was very cool

I initially told my friend not to film me (what the back of me looks like is not info I want to know) but she did and I’m actually really happy bc it was very cute

Awsten was on vocal rest so he was basically doing charades to everyone to make sure you could see what he wanted to say, which was very sweet

I gave them these puzzle book things + some gem pens (bc awsten mentioned solitaire + wordscapes. Yes I know this is a nerdy gift) and I think they enjoyed them!!

Geoff and Otto said that they could use them to use their brains on tour LOL

Awsten and Jawn were flipping through them and I think they liked them too

I did a group hug for the picture! ( I could not risk a waterparks-generated pose that is the most out-there scenario that no one except for them could think of)

Geoff was so nice when he asked what I wanted for the photo pose!! ❤️❤️ all around for Geoff for real

Awsten gave the best hug 🥺 love that guy

Otto + Awsten are shorter than I thought but I’m still way shorter than them LOL so I saw myself in the video going on my tip toes to hug them which is so cute I cannot lie and I wasn’t even aware I was doing it 🥺

I am SO excited for this photo, I am going to plaster it everywhere

Also saw Otto get in a huge FedEx box and pop out of it??? Another highlight tbh

more below!

Q&A recap (this is aside from the writing out tattoos requests 🙃)

Otto’s first crowd surf was in Philly!! As kind of a bit when they were opening for State Champs. He was dropped : (

Awsten’s was at a local show and he was wearing pajamas?

Awsten typing out answers on his phone for Otto and Geoff to read aloud

Aaron Gillespie FaceTime story? Cannot give accurate info bc they did not explain it clearly LMAO, but the story was mentioned bc Otto listed him as an inspiration. There was some FaceTiming happening at one point or another and Awsten (and Geoff? Like I said they did not clearly lay this story out) were getting PB&J when he was in the studio so Otto had to FaceTime them?

I honestly think that’s it from the Q&A? It was pretty short and a little chaotic

BUT I was trying to airdrop my friend something and awsten’s phone came up? Probably a joke from someone bc I think (or at least I can hope) that he has his phone named something else. I did refrain from sending something but maybe he’ll realize to change his phone name if that was him 😭

The actual show (if you’d like to read this far)

I told my friend that I wanted to get a spot where I could actually see Otto for once. It’s so difficult to see him as a short person unless you’re in the front or pretty close. I got my wish bc I was in a spot on the side where I could only see Otto clearly. Which was amazing because, as you all know, I love that guy. So I was very happy about it and I got some sick ass videos of Otto killing it on the drums (and in goggles at one point?). But very funny how I worded that and got what I asked for LOL

The M&G and the pre-show playlist is confirmed (?) to be Charlie Puth Spotify radio, which is funny but also fun and fitting. Personally, I approve.

Someone playing 2048 on another person’s Apple Watch (while it was still on their wrist), very funny

He does this at every show, but the way Awsten says “what” after anyone yells his name like it’s a conversation across the room. I can just predict how he says it

“I’m not gonna take a bereal, I’m tryna be fake as hell”

Birthday moment for Otto’s drum tech Toby, but no sex speech for him thank god

However, there was a sex mention when Awsten talked about how they were from Houston since it’s where their parents decided to have sex and live (thanks for that explanation, Awsten)

Awsten being on vocal rest until the show: “That’s so hard for someone like me”

Them promising they’d never ever ever cancel a Philly show bc we rock that hard: agreed

Geoff’s guitar spins were SPINNING and I loved them

Geoff always going to both sides of the stage and he had a PLATFORM which was sick

Crave Geoff verse of course!!

Always appreciate them thanking security bc security at that venue is awesome and they are putting in the work with how many crowd surfers there are

Groupchat 5?? times. We got High Def but the real winner surprise song in the “whatever awsten is doing” section was group chat for sure

“Otto Wood man of the year” chant (before it got into the serial killer bit which is long overdue for being funny LOL sorry) but I really was on board with the man of the year part bc it’s fucking Otto Wood, people!

Ok, I always take Awsten hyping things up with a grain of salt (topic for another time) but I have to give it to him, he was SO right about the stage design being sick as hell.

The screens were COOL and they matched the art from the album the song was from. The entertainment one was really cute with the clovers and all the purple. Plus the ghosts for crave. The smoke cannons were really cool too!! Especially during numb (side note: only one greatest hits song? Peculiar since there was SO much emphasis on it but alas another topic for another time)

Seeing everyone talk about crave….what about royal, people!!!

War Crimes FUCKS (but we knew that, though), as does ANOOE.

Closer hit really hard live and I felt it deeper than I ever have. If I heard it again live I’d probably cry

Funeral Grey eye roll thing… hear me out on this one…. when you are there in-person and are a woman (or any gender identity) prone to falling for him, such as I, it is hard not to scream about it.

Refer to above bullet point for the screams in Ritual, the telephone guitar solo, the hair flicks in stupid for you, “baby” in fuck about it…. I could go on and on and on

I realized I need to work on my camera skills bc I can’t figure out how people were getting like 5/6x zoom from the BACK OF THE PIT. My vids are blurry as hell and I feel really dumb, so pls send your support while I try to improve 😭 I need HQ vids of my band guys!!

tagging some people if you’d like to read an essay about waterparks LOL @s0livagant @jaakey @pennsylvanya

#waterparks #rambles #my show

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halo-lll-odst · 8 months

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hi maybe youve talked about these things before but eyah i have questions for you

in general

which oc was the hardest to design/make/figure out?

which oc would win in a fight?

put the oc you've most recently thought of/most recently worked on into game you've played most recently. are they okay?

for spring specifically:

how would she describe home?

how does she sleep? both the process of her falling asleep, her routines, does she dream, as well as whether her unique design/biology affect her rest in any way

does she listen to music? do you think any songs represent her especially well?

HAI. SORRY MOST OF THESE IF NOT ALL ARE GONNA BE ABOUT SPRING BECAUSE SHE TAKES UP MOST OF MY BRAIN SPACE AS OF LATE also apologies for answering this late!!!!! i fell asleep very quickly after making the send me asks posts, i apologize! - definitely spring. mech isn't really something i've tried my hand at before making her honestly, but the challenge has been INCREDIBLY fun. i think moreso designwise she's a bit of a hurdle because i have to think of all the parts of her and how they move and how they'd fit and what she can scrap together - this isn't a character i've really mentioned on here, but probably my character siall, simply because he essentially has the power of a demigod. - spring is goin' into halo ce.... she's probably not going to survive. sorry - spring has a lot of places that are home to her, so i'll go through them all her original home, at least when she thinks of it now, feels distant and cloudy. she's incredibly nostalgic about it and tends to feel a lot of complicated emotions when she thinks about it her semi, while odd at first, quickly became home, HER home, to her. she started decorating the back and filling it with little trinkets and things she likes. she likes to gently braid the wires in her spare time i don't have the best idea of these last few since i'm still deciding what she does after finally finding her mom, but her basically adoptive father's house feels like visiting a relative's house for a few days and staying the night, even if she's there for a while. a sort of odd but comfortable sense and finally, her mom's current house, with her new husband and his daughter spring goes here about as much as she goes to her adoptive father's house, maybe even less. it feels... stifling, for a lack of better words. she has a lot of complicated emotions every time she goes there. - actually, how she sleeps isn't something i've thought about too much, but i assume that when her power gets low when using her body, she simulates something sort of similar to exhaustion? i don't think she dreams, maybe unless she's on low power mode. i don't know, i really love this question though and i will put more thought into this !! - and finally, yeah she does listen to music! since she spends so much time driving for so long, she listens to a lot of stuff. i haven't decided on what she specifically likes yet, but maybe some more synth inspired things? only reason i want to do that is because my brother listens to a LOT of vaporwave/similar genres, and i think it would be nice to incorporate that into her also. i actually have a playlist for her that's around 60 songs rn? i can send it if you want! it's mainly just songs i either associate with her, that fit her, or i imagine animatics of her to lol THANK YOU FOR ASKING BTW!!!! i lov getting asks so much, even if it can take me a bit, so thank u thank u thank u have an amazing day

#marrsbarrs talk #marrsbarrs art #under both cuz why not #spring #ocs

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elmelloill · 1 year

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i put this on twitter but what if i put it here too! my favorite lines (more like...sections) from the fics I wrote in 2022 :)

(with slightly more commentary than on twitter, perhaps) (edit: a lot more commentary than on twitter)

I included my aa4 zine piece on twitter but I don't think I will here, since I didn't actually write it this year and just happened to post it on ao3 in January after the zine released. So the rest of these are all Waver fics, because in 2022 I finally unlocked the ability to write about him.

i'm the one you can't ignore [rated M, excerpt is some implied nsfw]

So first, I'm so pleased with the concept of this fic. I didn't really take the idea seriously at first but the more I thought about it the more I realized that it's really the premise with the best of both worlds when it comes to the question of whether Iskandar remembers Waver in Chaldea or not. All of Waver's heartbreak and inner conflict AND the actual reunion all in one fic! One of the comments called it a "delicious little misunderstanding" and I love that. I know this is very much tooting my own horn but it's also my most popular fic of them by a Lot so it feels a teeny bit justified. And my goal this year was to write the things i really wanted to read so! I love everything I wrote this year a lot!

Anyway. Excerpt.

He had thought that, in this situation, it wouldn’t make a difference if Iskandar remembered him or not. It was purely physical self-indulgence, after all—what did it matter if Iskandar only thought of him as some attractive stranger to share his bed for a night?

But something in Iskandar’s touch was different now—they had never done this before, not remotely, but it was as though Iskandar had figured him out nonetheless, like he knew even better than Waver did what would make him unravel.

Actually half my reasons for this section being my favorite is because when I thought of it I felt like I unlocked the path to the end of the fic. It was simultaneously like "yes! this is it! this is the whole point!" while also giving me something to talk about through my sex scene that wasn't like, the actual sex, so i was able to get through it without my usual ordeal. But it's also my favorite because I'm just a sucker for the concept of Iskandar seeing straight through Waver, in any context. Being around Iskandar means being subjected to the mortifying ordeal of being known, for Waver, or at least I like to see it that way.

His Rightful Place [rated G]

But despite everything, when he raises his head to meet Iskandar’s gaze, an unassailable sense of reassurance overtakes him, and even though his heart is still pounding hard enough to echo in his ears, he feels as though something has slotted into place in his chest.

Waver Velvet, second-rate mage and stand-in Lord of the Clock Tower, should not be here in this alien place, trying to save the world, but at the same time, looking into his King’s eyes, he knows that he is exactly where he is meant to be.

I actually don't have much more commentary than the title itself. His rightful place! (Shameless use of the CE name because it makes me emotional and I'll never actually have it unless they rerun accel zero order just for me.) This one was fun though, and also sort of started from an idea I didn't take seriously right away. I definitely watched the entire Solomon movie hoping Waver would show up, but if my disappointment led to me writing something about it, then maybe that's fine.

Warmth [rated T, maybe it should be M?? i really couldn't decide.]

I really really wanted to write a kiss and (mostly) just a kiss. Making out is so often just a prelude to smut (in doujins especially. maybe I was flipping through too many doujins at this time lol) so I just really wanted to focus in on the kiss and that's probably why it kind of got out of hand. That and Waver's just so fun to write when he's a repressed gay 19-year-old.

All that said, my favorite part is just about Waver being Seen, again:

Waver hadn’t meant to look at him, but now he couldn’t look away. According to legend, Alexander’s eyes should have been different colors, one dark and one light, but it was hard for Waver to imagine anything more striking than the dark burning crimson that he was so used to. Had anyone ever looked at him the way Rider did? It was frustrating sometimes, how he seemed to see through Waver so easily, but that meant he was actually looking, when so many other people just dismissed Waver at a glance.

Waver couldn’t feign indifference to that gaze. Everything he wanted was laid excruciatingly bare, from his petty ambitions and his desperation for recognition, to the desire he had told himself had no place in the heart of a mage—Waver could hardly stand it, but at the same time…Rider was still looking, wasn’t he? Not with disgust, not with scorn…despite their disastrous first encounter, Alexander the Great was still looking at Waver Velvet with undeniable interest, as though he saw something of value where nobody else had, value that even Waver sometimes doubted was there.

And because I can't get enough of this whole concept, I wrote about it from Iskandar's perspective, next.

Bloom [rated G]

I loved writing this one. Giving myself an excuse to write about Waver's character development in Zero by making it into a fic! Iskandar POV was really fun and I hope to use it a little more in the future. While it isn't the excerpt I chose as my favorite, I really liked thinking about him getting excited about talking to Waver about the Iliad. I love when Fate points out (accurately) that he's basically a huge fanboy when it comes to Homer.

But I basically centered the fic around this metaphor so, it should be the chosen excerpt:

He’s changed.

He had the feeling of watching a desert flower burst into bloom after the briefest deluge. It was always a delight to witness the prickliest, most forbidding plants unfurl the sweetest blossoms after a rare rain, and Iskandar felt the same satisfaction now. His first impressions had not been wrong—Waver was weak and cowardly, overconcerned with frivolous matters, impatient, self-centered—but the spines and the flowers were of the same plant, after all, and it was just a matter of the proper conditions to bring out one or the other.

While this fic was largely just inspired by the thought of Waver wrapped up in Iskandar's mantle (shout out to the 4th hgw for taking place in February) I think I was also influenced by the scene right before Iskandar fights Saber (which I happened to be rewatching) because I hadn't noticed before how Waver stands next to him and just sort of...holds on to the mantle while he thinks about Iskandar's history and ideals. Prior to the scene on the bridge, it really felt like a point where Waver's attitude towards Iskandar is shown in it's final form, more or less, so I sort of wanted to place this fic directly before that scene and show Iskandar's feelings reaching that point, too.

Okay that's it! I had a lot of fun writing this year even if I didn't write a lot. My goal was just to create the things that I really wanted to see and I think I accomplished it, even if I still have things I'm working on that I haven't finished yet. If you read and enjoyed any of my fics this year, thank you!!!

#very sorry if this shows up in tags but hopefully the read more works #i'm only able to talk abt my thoughts on my favs in fanfic form and i was really happy to be able to do that w waver this year <3 #i don't know if i really made much progress with writing this year but i AM happy with what i created in the end #levblogging

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striveattemptfail · 2 years

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Better and Brighter | Timber, PG, 3k

Summary: A look at everything that happened between Tim and Bernard from Bernard’s perspective. Posted for Bernard Week 2022: Fill The Blanks. Warning: Discusses school shooting + canon death of a character, as well as canon cult activities, but is not overly descriptive for any of these. Contains spoilers for Robin (1993), Batman: Urban Legends #4-6, and “Special Delivery” by Travis Moore in DC Pride 2022. Read on Ao3

A/N: Listen y'all, I tried to get this out for the end of this past pride, and when I missed that I aimed for Timberversary, and when I missed that I tried shooting for Day 7 of @bernarddowdweek. Alas, Bernard did not wanna shut up and took what should’ve been a 700-word fic to 3k, so now I am posting this a week after the anniversary /o\

Thank you to @saturniiids for the exceptionally quick beta~! Shout out to the Lightbulb Moment server for listening to my bitching as I tried to finish this fic lol. All other mistakes are mine.

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In hindsight, Bernard maybe should’ve been tipped off that he was at least a little bit queer when, on the dude’s first day of school, he checked out Tim Drake from head-to-toe.

“Your eyes are clear and you lack the telltale hemp-ish smell that would place you with the Heads.”

Dark blue eyes. Not quite as striking as the clear sky above us, but notable nonetheless. He smells like shampoo and fresh laundry—and maybe a little bit of sweat.

“You could be a jock—you look ripped enough—but then again there’s all those books to consider.”

Well-fitted tee over muscles that are clearly stretching the fabric. Perhaps an athlete with a secret?

“You are an enigma, grasshopper.”

This is a guy I want to know better, he thought.

“Name’s Bernard Dowd, by the way. Bernard, got it? Call me Bernie and I’ll have to punish you.” Bernard handed back the newbie’s schedule with a small grin.

He was met with an obliging smile and a flash of amusement in the newbie’s gaze.

“Tim Drake.”

“Glad to meet you, Timmy.”

“Tim.”

His grin widened.

“See? We’re getting along already.”

And in less than five minutes of meeting him, Bernard had his arm around Tim’s shoulders.

It was a full assessment and glowing review—he should have probably picked up that this wasn’t exactly something a straight man would do to anyone, unless they were completely obnoxious.

(To be fair, Bernard knew he was pretty presumptuous back in high school. He wasn’t a jerk about it though.)

Time went on, and days at Louis E. Grieve blurred from one into the next. Classes and teachers and crushing on Darla from afar was his normal. Sometimes the only thing worth remembering about his days was Tim and the tall tales he came up with. Frequent absences and constantly marred skin was totally different from what Bernard was used to. Tim’s lies about being on the gymnastics team with friends from his old boarding school were easy to see through, but Bernard was a patient man and figured Tim would tell him what was going on eventually.

Patience was how he finally got the chance to speak to Darla, after all. (Well, aside from Tim’s crazy stunt confronting the giant jocks surrounding her.) Bernard knew she wasn’t into him, but he could be patient and wait for her crush on Tim to wane. Tim was smart and cool, sure, and objectively attractive to top it off (how did he find the time to work out?), but Bernard knew he still had a chance because Tim apparently had a girlfriend.

He was genuinely curious about the elusive “Stephanie” Tim so often talked about. She sounded almost too good to be true, and Bernard remembered calling him out on it.

“I’m happily involved with someone else,” Tim had reminded him.

Bernard resisted rolling his eyes. “So you keep saying, but where is this mysterious Stephanie Whatshername? Why have I never met her?”

It’s because she’s not real, he thought knowingly, or because “Stephanie” is actually a “Stephen”.

Bernard was a conspiracy theorist—he knew how to deduce things. But he was also a pretty chill dude, and he figured he’d let Tim know that the poor guy didn’t have to keep lying about a fake relationship just to cover up his sexuality.

He had patted Tim’s shoulder reassuringly. “If you got something you wanna tell me, then speak up. We’re buds. I’ll understand.” He gestured to himself. “We’re two modern, enlightened men in the new millennium, Drake. No need to make up imaginary girlfriends.”

This should’ve been another (rainbow) flag. He had always considered himself an ally—he was never a homophobic asshole—but maaaybe he could have picked up on why he was so adamant that he was really cool with it if Tim ever came out to him.

And, okay, he also had a thing for hot women. He could cut himself a little slack. Darla Aquista was the hottest girl at school; he would’ve admitted that even after his feelings about her changed from a crush to something more platonic. If he was being honest, she was still just as attractive once she got mystical powers and became Laura Fell. He also wasn’t lying when he said that Tim’s stepmom was hot—indeed, the Drake men were very lucky guys—and he still won’t apologize for sort-of ogling her when he had dinner at Tim’s place.

“Bernard, take my advice,” Tim had warned in a low voice. “You really need to stop talking, right now.”

He did, and he and Tim played the new Batman and Robin game Bernard got his hands on.

It probably should have tipped him off when he thought Tim’s angry pout was cute though.

————————————————————

Bernard lost himself when Darla died.

One moment he was walking the halls and the next he was in the nurse’s office because Darla had been shot.

He had never felt so helpless in his life.

When Tim left the room, armed with nothing but a bloody t-shirt and a wooden baseball bat, Bernard couldn’t even bring himself to stop him. It was obviously a suicide mission, but Bernard could do nothing but lock the door as asked once Tim left.

He found out later that Tim was the reason Darla even made it to the school. Someone (Tyrone?) said that Tim had acted heroically despite the madness around them. Bernard almost wished he could have seen it, seen Tim apparently kicking ass in action, but it wouldn’t have changed the fact that he lost a friend.

He saw Tim at Darla’s funeral, but he didn’t look like he wanted to see anyone.

And neither did Bernard.

He was transferred to a private school by the next week, and for a long while it was the last time he saw Tim.

————————————————————

It was after what happened at Louis Grieve that Robin—his Robin, the one before the girl Robin—was back in action. By that point, he’d never actually met Robin before, and he still vehemently believed that Batman replaced Robins with new orphans, but somehow Bernard recognized him. Something about the way this Robin moved, the way he immediately slunk away before anyone could even get a clear picture of him, that made Bernard sure it was the Robin he was most familiar with. The forums he frequented disagreed, but Bernard knew better.

He started to obsess over Robin—his Robin, not the new one, the smaller, younger one with a sword that showed up later—and the way he worked with the urban legend that was the Batfamily. He learned what made this Robin different, his quick movements and fighting style. He didn’t quite have the grace of one of the previous Robins, or the acrobatic strength of another Robin, or even the ruthlessness of the latest Robin. But there was an efficiency that was distinguishable to Bernard. He could think fast and follow through even when things went sideways.

This fixation filled his days. It distracted him from the pain of losing Darla, the shock of getting her back (sort of), the whirlwind of her leaving him again (though at least not dead this time), the blur that was his new life at a different school.

And it helped keep his mind off how much he really missed Tim.

Bernard missed messing around and playing games with him. He missed being able to talk for hours on end about the latest conspiracy theory he came across, even if Tim mostly just laughed at most of them. Bernard missed the easy way he could throw an arm around him or bump their shoulders together.

Again, in hindsight, all of this probably spoke volumes about his own sexuality. It was one thing to be inspired by Robin’s heroics and take self-defense classes; it was another to study Robin’s specific fighting style. It was one thing to miss a close friend like Tim after he switched schools; it was another to think about him all the time.

And Bernard did think about Tim. He thought about Tim a lot.

And because he was already familiar with forums and the vast wide world of the web, he took to the boards once more to figure out what the hell he was feeling.

It didn’t take long for him to realize he was bi. Girls were still plenty attractive to him, but there was no mistaking that he had affection for guys too.

(Or, at least, one specific guy.)

He came out not long after his revelation because, after everything that happened at Louis Grieve, he didn’t want to hold back anymore. Besides, if Robin(s) could fight every night against some of the most horrific rogues around, he figured being openly queer was a cake walk.

He was a man of the new millennium, after all.

He changed up his wardrobe and style, swapping his biker shades for ear cuffs; trimmed his hair down to a shorter, messy mop. He dated around for a bit, men and women alike. He even went to his school’s pride celebration.

Nothing stopped him from missing Tim and Darla (Laura, he had to remind himself, it’s Laura now) and how things used to be, but the changes helped. Investigating new theories (Robin-related or not), training in self-defense classes, discovering himself, meeting new people—it was his new normal.

Despite how busy he now was, it still took probably longer than it should have to get back in touch with Tim. Between the big adoption announcement into the Wayne family and becoming a shareholder in Wayne Enterprises, Tim Wayne definitely had public profiles online, but Bernard knew that his attempts to contact Tim through those accounts would’ve probably gone into a spam inbox before Tim could even see it.

Tim Drake was a little harder to track down.

Bernard was nervous about his search—so much time had already passed and the event that separated them was so traumatic. Would Tim remember him? Would he even give Bernard the time of day? What if things became too awkward between them? Would he look Bernard in the eye and only remember what happened at Louis Grieve? The answers left Bernard anxious with every page he swiped through, made him slow down as he scrolled past different accounts.

But Bernard wasn’t about to quit, and despite his worries, he still really missed his friend.

After some sleuthing around and hopping between social media profiles, he eventually managed to DM Tim on Pixtagraph. Bernard wasn’t even 100% sure if the account was active seeing as its last post was a few years ago, but it was the best lead he had, so he took a shot.

By some stroke of luck, Tim responded in less than a day, and the two of them decided to meet up for a casual dinner by the next week.

————————————————————

Reconnecting with Tim was—

—kinda amazing.

He was as smart and dorky as Bernard remembered him. He was still easy to tease and poke fun at, and still took Bernard’s jokes in stride. A little less sure of himself unlike when they were in high school together, but still just as driven.

(Just as cute too, if Bernard was being honest, but that would’ve been jumping the gun.)

Then the Chaos Monsters crashed their date, and more than anything Bernard wished he had contacted Tim earlier, if only so they could have spent a little more time together.

————————————————————

It was a combination of reading through discussion boards and talking to new friends that he learned about the Children of Dionysus. He might have made some peace with his sexuality and what happened in the past, but that didn’t mean he was set for the rest of his life.

It turned out a lot of other people felt the same way too.

It was—exhilarating. Letting everything go, having the pain focus his mind, being able to heighten his own pain tolerance during fights. It was called a “cult”, but Bernard only ever thought of it like a BDSM club, just less sexual and open to people his age. He thought that, while the leaders were a bit cold, they were still charismatic and persuasive, and he eagerly wanted to soak up their promises. He thought the “Chaos Monsters” were only overdramatic bodyguards who made sure everyone kept quiet about their little gatherings.

Stupid, he knew now.

And he was proven exactly how stupid that was when he was publicly kidnapped. The cult leaders decided he was going to be a sacrifice, and the Chaos Monsters were ready to oblige. He was incredibly lucky that Robin came in the nick of time, and Bernard very much learned his lesson about the slippery slope that was joining a cult.

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After the whole ordeal with the Children of Dionysus, things got easier.

It wasn’t perfect. Missed dates happened more often than both he and Tim liked, but Bernard figured being a son of The Bruce Wayne was a lot to deal with. It was also clear that Tim was still hiding things from him, but just like back in high school when he spotted Tim’s scars and bruises, just like at Darla’s funeral, Bernard didn’t push. Tim was planning to stick around, and so was Bernard—he’d talk to Bernard eventually, or Bernard would coax it out of him.

He was patient with Darla (Laura); he could be patient with Tim too.

Bernard loved whatever time he did get with him. Between movie dates and diner visits, he enjoyed every moment he spent with Tim.

It was a bit weird, but in a good way, in the best way. They were getting to know each other again, but it also felt like they were falling right back into how things used to be.

Now with more handholding.

There was never a dull moment, and Bernard never knew he could be this happy, this comfortable with someone. He spent so long trying to make up for everything he lost since Louis Grieve, having someone—having Tim—to enjoy his time with...

He didn’t have the words to describe how lucky he felt.

————————————————————

Tim was late. Again. Bernard was very used to this. He would be more worried, if only because the reason why his boyfriend was late again was because of some rogue criminals blocking the streets by the Narrows.

Macro and micro robbery cutting the roads off from the parade. Will be late. Sorry. Sad face.

(Tim used text-to-speech to send his messages, Bernard had learned. Tim said it was because he usually got around on his motorcycle—which Bernard had conveniently never seen—but the written out emojis were kinda endearing nonetheless.)

Bernard typed out a quick response:

It’s okay. I’ll meet you at the park. Thumbs up. LOL. ;P

Tim sent back a middle finger (the actual emoji this time) and Bernard couldn’t help but laugh.

When Tim finally caught up to where Bernard was watching Gotham’s pride parade, the little speech he opened with was really sweet. He started recalling their dates, even the disaster that was Bernard getting kidnapped by Chaos Monsters; he talked about how their relationship had been a journey of discovery, not unlike Bernard’s own; and for as rehearsed as it sounded, Bernard could tell that Tim meant every word he was saying.

“—know how my life is, how hectic it can be. I was afraid I’d let you down. And I have. Repeatedly. And I’m sorry—”

He had half a mind to slap a hand over Tim’s mouth because he was rambling, but honestly Bernard was charmed by how nervous Tim was, and he wanted to know where his little speech was going.

“—want you to know I’m so happy to have you—”

Bernard was suddenly filled with warmth, and he was pretty sure it wasn’t because of the summer sun shining down on them. Between Tim’s words and the earnestness in his voice, all Bernard could feel how happy he really was, same as Tim.

“—which is why I’m giving you this.”

Tim held his hands out to present a white box, which Bernard took from him before flipping the top open with excited curiosity.

It was a cake, or at least three-quarters of one. The right side was pretty ruined. The text written in different coloured frosting was now cut off with the crumbled corner, and the rainbow sprinkles mushed together in the mess.

It was adorable.

“How did you know it was my ‘Fir Pri’?” Bernard smirked down at his gift, his heartbeat fluttering despite the mistakes. Sure, the cake was a bit destroyed, and, yeah, he’d already been to pride before.

But he loved it all the same.

He thought about going to his school’s pride celebration, really confronting the fact that his feelings for Tim and admiration for Robin wasn’t just friendly affection. He thought about his time in the Dionysus cult, and how close he got to losing everything, again.

As he examined the cake, Tim—of course—started babbling again. “It’s supposed to say ‘Happy First Pride,’ but it had a rough journey getting here.”

Bernard thought about how the years have passed for him, how they were once filled with loss and regret, then eventually enlightenment and discovery. He thought about how it all led to finding his way back to Laura, and Tim.

“And I baked it myself, so it wasn’t all that pretty to begin with, to be honest.”

Bernard shifted his gaze from the cake to his boyfriend, who looked sheepish and a little apologetic.

“It’s perfect and I love it,” he said with certainty, “flaws and all.”

He meant it too. Even though this wasn’t technically his first pride celebration, it was his first pride with someone he really liked.

It was his first pride with Tim.

And that was still pretty special all on its own.

He pulled Tim close, pressing his forehead against Tim’s, their noses almost brushing from the closeness. His smile twisted from amused to fond.

“It was definitely worth the wait.”

#bernard dowd week 2022 #bernarddowdweek2022 #red robin #dc robin #robin #tim drake #bernard dowd #timber #timbern #fanfic #jercy attempts words #happy fir pri and one year timberversary everybody (ಥ‿ಥ)

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