#why have they done this to me

[vampphics]

now i keep going to the home screen to click on my profile…..

#why have they done this to me #so happy the profile button is back in its CORRECT PLACE AT THE BOTTOM #but at what cost

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[thelaughingpanda]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GX3Z8qG7AKo

#recreation of this popular post #for my own reference #since tumblr won't let me reblog it #even though op is deactivated #and most of the content is thanks to the reblog anyway #https://sraithpics.tumblr.com/post/634277734381748224/froggybangbang-lizzy52955 #dance #irish dance #on the one hand i'm glad the post is being shared around again #because i wouldn't have done this if i didnt like the post #but on the other hand dear god why did it have to be *my* post

[theoldkyokodied]

One wedding and three funerals

Background paintings under the cut

#tomgreg #succession #tom wambsgans #greg hirsch #shiv roy #roman roy #kendall roy #yeah no im not tagging everyone thats too much #this is me going 'how much implications themes and symbolism can i fit in one painting' #yes i gave rose shivs haircolor. if we ever find out how she looks like and its not like this im just gonna pass away i guess #but yeah i hope yall connect the dots #i put waaay too much thought and work into this. i was googling pictures of all the actors as kids just for reference (sigh) #honestly kinda wanted to make tom and greg link pinkies as like. a pinkie promise. but that was too hard to draw in this angle #at least not without obstructing the view of the ring which is important to see so ya #my fave is actually the tomshiv wedding pic i went off with that. i love them... they should have run away to become sheep farmers fr fr #anyway im so glad im done with this UGH!! finally i can draw smth else without being like oh noooo i need to finish this #i see a lot of you wondering why there is no portrait of logan but one of ewan #it's bc the placement of the painting represent their standing. logans portray would not hang next to the stairs #his present portrait hangs at the end of it. all the way up at the top. alone and withering away #basically the picture you see underneath ewan to the right? its where toms parents would be. the right side of the wall is tom and gregs #and the left one is the roy siblings theirs. since they grew up rich rich. and tom and greg didn't #but ya thats why ewan hangs here and logan does not :)

[placesyoucallhome]

Size/Height difference poses

I love height differences aesthetically, but posing them can sometimes be a pain! So to cater to those that also struggle with posing smols and tols, I have a few options-

Meant for art of any type and ask memes, for drawing, writing, photography (like gpose!), ect. Gender nonspecific and for any sort of relationship type, romantic, platonic, and antagonistic!

#art meme #pose meme #height difference #drawing meme #ask meme #this is less about sending me things and more i wanna see other people use it #i have things i need to draw you people need to reblog so i can send things #idk why people don't use pose memes for gpose its not just about drawing #also i wanted obvious options for the smol being something other than soft uwu delicate sort #let smols be gremlins #i just need to feel like ive done something because i currently feel like a useless pos

[colberine]

crying some real queer tears over how anxious and scared izzy was to have makeup on and sing in front of everyone but they didn’t blink an eye and just started dancing and singing with him

#my baby’s getting love and respect that he deserves #but fr he was so anxious #he’s just like me #also izzy and wee john???? wtffff the huuug #ALSO why didn’t we see how izzy asked to have his makeup be done? we were robbed #izzy hands #our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers

[hyuckonia]

very first 10 seconds of the tsum event and Kalim getting beaned by his tsum and lilia was like "oh guess i wasnt fast enough to stop it myb bro" SHUT UPPPDNAHAAJHA KALIMS SCREAM HAD ME LAUGHING SO HARD I WAS GUNNA CRY whatever i love them so badLMAOOOOO

#idia somewhere: "no way... i just felt the pulse of someone using a Super Triple Arcane Bazooka Dragon Destroying Waifu Texas Detroit Kys 30 #kalim at the end is saying “AUUHHH WHY IS IT BEATING ME UP AUUGHUGHTUHH” since it kinda got lost in the sauce down there LMFAO #special thanks to the website “700 Attack Move Names to Conquer Your Foes” and All Might for helping me with Lilia's special move #twisted wonderland #twst #lilia vanrouge #kalim al asim #twst meme #twst memes #funny #twisted tsumderland #fanart #meme #memes #finish the comic challenge done. next challenge.. can i finish the tsum event w/out having to use half my starsharts 2 days before it ends #seems unlikely (chuckles)(puts head in hands) #hyuckscraps

[lucksea]

just had to resurrect my cat for a second time the friskies temptations were too strong

#null havoc damage #cult of the lamb #he didnt even get put in 3 more rituals. i fought him once and was like ok that takes a while ill just cycle the others #WHY ARE *YOU* MAD AT ME. AGAIN. I HAVE NOT DONE THINGS TO YOU THIS TIME #my comrade in death. you are the one who walked to the bar. not even my fault

[inkskinned]

there are days that it is hard, and unfair, and some horrible part of me wishes i could have been born in a different world. i love being queer, i hate how others react to it. when i first came out at 15, my mom whispered: please don't say that. your life would be so much harder.

it is harder.

it is also a tuesday, walking my dog. we are both skiving off of work, and yes both of us have dyed hair and pronouns. mine is patchy - it was my first time trying bleach; i didn't have enough. theirs is a resilient toadstool green. a little girl comes up to us and asks um, excuse me? is your hair real? 'cause jason says you're a fairy.

it is sunday brunch, all of us talking over each other, overfull on love. she is trying out a new name today, and we made her a cake with today's name scrawled in shaky purple letters. she laughs so much she cries and then gets frosting in her hair. someone young at a different table keeps giving us these large, wide eyes: the same look we have all been on the other side of. the kind that says, breathless: wait, is that possible?

it is a half-fight in a supermarket because he loves "dance moms" and says abby's tiktok is funny and meanwhile i think the children in that show should be allowed to sue abby lee miller for child abuse. i tell him that it led to the casual acceptance of child harassment for mainly adult views; and then i am standing, suddenly, in someone else's thrown soda. there's a white lady standing there, furious, saying something about hell-on-earth. i had forgotten i was wearing stuff with pride colors. and then it is this: he had just been casually arguing with me - and within an instant, he squares his shoulders and goes after her like i am his sister

on saturday i sat in a circle while beca played with my hair and we were all over 30 and we laughed about how much happier we are being this old, how much more we appreciate our community. 25 minutes from now, we will be on stage to dance in baggy beige clothing, but for now we look on with envy to the dancers in loud-and-bright buttondowns. where are they getting these shirts! i cry, distraught. everyone laughs. one of our friends has a mushroom witch hat. this would have been cringey in high school, probably. instead we are all delighted with each other; happy just to be here and alive and moving

it's that last week my new friends cried with joy for me when they heard i'm getting top surgery. every so often i have the honor of being the first person someone feels comfortable enough to tell. i'm trying to make long fluttery butterfly wings to wear to pride; but i don't know anything about fabric or dye, so my friends have been sending me their personal advice.

i think in a different poem i would talk about how sometimes you walk into a room and put the mask back on. but i'm sleepy and my whole brain is fuzzy so i think in this one, it's a monday, and my dog and i took a nap on a couch, and i had missed texts from friends. i used to wake up lonely. i think this poem is about walking into a room and seeing someone and just knowing, the way you just-know-sometimes, and then giving them that little smile, and seeing them light up with joy and relief. it is how we always seem to be able to find each other in a crowded room. how we always seem to make friends with each other before even we know-it-to-be-true. it is saying: we're very different people; but i belong to you.

it is harder, yes. but it comes with a built-in family.

#wish this was better written!!! but im sleepy!! #writeblr #pride #lgbt #but for real please help me make these lesbian wings. gonna get the supplies tomorrow . i have #no sewing machine but know how to hand sew #have never done a good job with tie dye so idk why im just runnin with it #ps im specifically going to boston pride next weekend come hang out with me

[chiptrillino]

By any chance do you have a larger photo of those Yue designs? I'm absolutely digging them

uhm... sadly i didn't at the time you asked me. but i do have now! so sorry for the longer wait;;;

the one i posted were really tiny and i was working anyway on these. it just took me a bit to get it done :D uhm... so here me playing dressup... with yue... again... sorry yue...

if i have to explain mayself... my thought process is basically... yue is the moon. so her dress is either the moon or the enviorment around or below her. and.... you know... fish... -tries not to feel my ex profs glaring at me like "elaborate more dang it"-

also! all these option but if someone tells me to draw yue again i would still give her... a new outfit or just idk... because i can't pick!!!!

#chip!ask #chip!art #atla #yue #in uni i would have to like... go through my whole thinking process. #why did you do this why di you do that? #and i mean... i could reply and go into deatail about my thoght process but... #i am getting shy... #and selfconcious #and i just realized i forgot to click the boots of in that one translucent dress but i kinda like it like this??? #the boots are a vibe there not gona lie! #whaaa #-coughs and hides- #also my brain: red version for lunar esclips??? #(also you just asked over moon yue outfits... don't ask me about the others i am not done ... #don't ask me about other outfits... at this point i think it would be best to just offer you guys a picrew and let you go wild with it #DESIGN YOU OWN YUE! pick a hair pick the jewlery #everything couts! i think... #ah #if i am alowed to be biased and pick favourites! i pick the translusent ones... #its just a vibe! #a friend told me that it looks like elsa and i am feeling some negative kind of feel here...

[ash-and-starlight]

celebrating Her month by updating my mai&sokka bestieism manifesto & introducing their matching undercuts era

#id in alt text #thank you robin for expanding on and supporting my insanity i couldn’t have done it without u #mwah mwah forever #like im a undercut mai truther forever i think she should have one in canon as well #i think she would ask it to her bestie sokka as an act of rebellion against the rules she had to conform to her entire life #also mai and sokka are both on a shrimp gender spectrum #mai #sokka #my art #bye not me noticing NOW that there’s a typo where the fuck did that second why spawn from

[vaxxman]

Could I request Medic having The Mom Grip on Scout’s shoulder after the speedy moron almost let a mercenary secret slip while they weee getting groceries?

Three Europeans and two Americans walk into a grocery store in New Mexico.

I hope this is the right meme.

More silliness below.

This comic is the antithesis of the "wtf is a kilometre" joke.

The faces they make when they can't quite identify the type of brown bread in the bread aisle.

You don't know how [insert nationality here] you are until you go overseas and things are different.

Spy obviously has no problems with pretending to know how much a gallon of milk is, he just peeks into his conversion chart notes, pretending it's his shopping list.

I want to think Heavy is completely fine with having to readjust to a new unit system, he just eyeballs most practical things anyways by holding them up and mumbling about how they approximately weigh like a chicken or his kettle bell etc. He's always been living in practical ignorant bliss.

Medic has a peer reviewed meltdown the first time he realises there's no uniformity in "a cup of ____" because every object has different densities. He's diligent about memorising the conversion rates for ounces, pounds, the most common things etc., and recovers ok. He goes through the same stages of grief rage when he finds out about distances and lengths.

Just remember four inches are 10.16 cm and pray no one asks you to specify anything bigger than inches.

Everyone does a mental victory lap when they manage to guess how much Celsius the weather is because they keep forgetting it's Celsius*5/9+32=Fahrenheit, Engineer reminds them patiently.

The true victories are the correct temperature guesses we've made along the way.

One time, a friend asked me if I actually knew how much a tablespoon of flour was in gramms to convince me that metric users also make use of volume based units without thinking about them. But little did she know a heaped spoonful of 405 flour is about 15g and a level tablespoon is 10g.

They claim Oolong just tastes better when it's boiled to 80°C exactly with a Bunsen burner.

You only asked for one scene but somehow I came up with a bunch of other things. This post was drawn across 2 months so the artstyle is all over the place. Thanks for your ask!

#team fortress 2 #tf2 #tf2 medic #tf2 scout #tf2 spy #tf2 heavy #tf2 soldier #Medic's reaction to a stick of butter is 100% based on my own reaction after reading an American recipe for the first time #Like I didn't know butter in America came in this normed stick-form I genuinely thought it was some arbitrary unit like ??? A Stick?? #As in I didn't know if the recipe required the butter to be in this specific shape; like sometimes you have to add butter in shaves or molt #no biggie lemme whittle away at my butter block until it's shaped like a stick? And then I learnt it was the portions that butter comes in #Cut me some slack; I'm used to recipes using eggs as the scale-up ingredient; not butter #I also learnt that medical labels is where metric units are mostly encountered simply because medicine is international #But that is the main reason why I think Medic would not realise he'd have to deal with imperial units until he goes grocery shopping #The man's just been ignoring the “oz” information right below everything he's ever used; out of sight out of mind #I want to think Engi is the most normal person about the entire metric-imperial-units thing he just does some mental arithmetic and done #King just learned système international d'unités during one of his 11 phds; it's not unrealistic

[heartorbit]

WHEEEEEE

#project sekai #pjsk #prsk #emu otori #i drew this insteabd of payong attention to class. Sorry. #And am posting it while i wait for the bus. I ha e sleey disease #SLEEPY. #emu otori from um . fortntie #Rhebusihesjehr THE BUS IS HERE BYYE #edit ok im back waiting for my transfer BROTHER. THE ANNIVIERYUAEYH it got me so fucked up prsk you crazy son of a gun #I THINK THE NEW OUTFITS ARE RLLY CUTE MIKU SOOOO KITTY #im almost done with all of my commsni dont think i will open them again this semester. or next. summer. Im sho tired #my assignments r fun but theyre like big. Theyrbe large #my prof said he was gonna make us make fur/sonas for an assignment hut didnt want to get fired. dont be a coward #proseka autism is killinng me i cant lie WHY IS DARKNESS FESTA TIERING SO FUCKING CRAZY #IVE NEVER EVER SEEN THE 10K CUTOFF REACH A MILLION POINTS ON EN. USUALLY WE SLACK SO HARD. COME ON #im so sleepy and have things to do please sotp it AND CURTAINCALL IM GONNA BE SICK I CANT TRHJNK ABOUT IT

[hychlorions]

What if I told you that I've fallen?

[ID: Art of Susato Mikotoba and Haori Murasame/Rei Membami, done on a stylized background of swirling cherry blossom petals. Haori is falling backward, pulling Susato with her, so close that their noses are touching. Haori closes her eyes as she pulls off Susato’s cap, while Susato — still dressed as Ryutaro Naruhodo — looks down at her with eyes wide. The background is suffused with the faint colors of the lesbian flag. End ID]

#susahao #susarei #susato mikotoba #haori murasame #rei membami #dgs #tgaa #dgs2 spoilers #<- i guess ! #.png #me: ok we've done our fill of comms for today let's do something quick and easy (doesn't do that) #this is a nightmare to tag actually. why does she have two names #also here's to hoping external links don't get hidden on here anymore i've been living with that fear since 2019 #do i think that song fits them. i'm not sure. it's just stuck in my head and i don't wanna use kiss kiss fall in love

[death-himself]

as someone who’s a very casual watcher viewer (i don’t think i’ve watched any videos in months) as well as being a media major, this situation is so fascinating to me

ghost files costing $50k per episode??? 25 employees??? what do you need a director for to make survival mode? it’s literally just a lets play

seeing people break down their expenses with flight costs, rooming, etc. is really interesting too, i need to ask my professor about this situation, it’s just so wild to me

#watcher #also a gaffer is credited in the survival mode description like??? #i’m sorry but the lighting in that video could’ve been done by them that’s just #why do you a gaffer for a let’s play???? #i’m crying just thinking about that #there’s multiple ppl in my media classes that have made whole ass short films and they did the gaffer stuff themselves #this is so fascinating to me it’s like a car crash i can’t look away

[go-see-a-starwar]

“Anakin/Vader has 6 movies, a long running cartoon series and a zillion comics and books about him why do you want a live action series starring him?”

Because Hayden Christensen has an outstanding face and is hot as fuck with a lightsaber hope this clears things up!

#‘why don’t you just watch The Clone Wars?’ Because it doesn’t have Hayden’s face this isn’t complicated #‘why don’t you just read the Vader comics?’ see above #I keep seeing this take on Twitter #it has nothing to do with the quality of the cartoons or comic (which are overall good!) #and everything to do with me wanting to look at Hayden #also I really do think if done right a Vader series would be killer #hayden christensen #anakin skywalker #ahsoka series #give hayden a Vader series