#why cant i just not overthink????

[ruporas]

invisible scars (referenced previous talk here)

[ID: A colourless, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood talking about Wolfwood's scars. They're both laying in bed and topless. Vash lays on top of Wolfwood, playing with the rosary around his neck. Then, Vash kisses a spot on Wolfwood's chest. Wolfwood asks, "What are you doing?" Vash smiles sadly, "You got shot here. In the last town we visited. You didn't even bother moving."

Vash props himself up over Wolfwood, who frowns slightly. Wolfwood is quiet for a moment before he says, "You remember that, huh?" Vash grabs Wolfwood's left wrist and brings it to his face. "And here." He kisses another spot there. "When you helped free the hostages from that robber..." Wolfwood dismissively says, looking away, "Was a lucky shot." Vash huffs, “Don’t brag. Jeez.”

Half of Wolfwood's expression is shown, eyes returning to Vash who is now sitting up, continuing to say, "And..." Vash goes on and kiss Wolfwood's right palm. "You got cut here, even though that girl was aiming at me." A moment from the past flashes, of Wolfwood grabbing a knife aimed at Vash, his hand bleeding.

At present, Vash moves down and puts another kiss on Wolfwood's right shoulder. "And here, from watching my back." Another memory flashes of Wolfwood and Vash back to back. Vash looks back as Wolfwood grins while holding Punisher, bleeding from multiple gunshots in his shoulder.

"And," Vash combs up Wolfwood's hair to reveal his forehead, "Here." A final memory shows Wolfwood with a regeneration vial in his mouth while getting shot on his temple. The next panel is framed in blood with Vash at the center, eyes wide and stunned in horror. The next panel is a closed up shot of Wolfwood's eye, locked on Vash's face.

Back to present, Vash’s head is bowed down as Wolfwood raises a hand to his nape and says, “Spikey.”

Wolfwood looks serious and frowns as he says, "We talked about this. Those were my decisions. They're not there anymore. Forget about them." Vash looks very sad before he smiles ruefully and says, "I still see them. All the time." He leans down so they touch foreheads. Wolfwood’s sorrowful expression can be seen as Vash says, "You protect so much. I could never forget what you've done to me. And many others..."

In the last image, they're drawn more cartoonishly. Wolfwood sweats and asks, "You don't actually remember every wound, right?" Vash points at a spot on his chest. "Kuroneko left a scratch here 7 times." Wolfwood, startled, says, "Why the hell are you keeping count—" End ID]

Credits for ID here and here

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #another scars comic for one of the vw week days!!!! frankly i think about their scars WAY too often . most notably wolfwood's because #it really symbolizes a lot for him imo bc for vash it's a history of all the people that's ever harmed him betrayed him and the trust he has #given to humanity despite it all. its a beautiful reflection of his character and then u look at ww and presumably #since we dont really see him half naked Ever (shame) and i mean. i guess technically its a hc -- i assume he wouldn't have any scars bc #of the regen potions (which is why he doesnt have his t scars btw the regen pot took them away :pensive:) #in a way its like washing his hands of blood. giving him the body of someone who might never been involved in a fight never held a gun #but he knows thats not true yet he cant really do anything about it anyway bc he's still just human. if he stops taking the regen pots #he can't press forward. so its just a rinse and repeat and growing accustomed to whats inflicted on him because he knows it'll go away at #the end of the day. he's human but he's also not he's far beyond what could be considered a normal human but he still just is. #mortal but also not immortal. idk. i overthink about it a lot GMSKGMDK frankly i dont think it matters THAT much in the context of trimax #but it means a lot to me somehow. also thinking about how no matter how many times ww kills he's never numb to the sensation of it. maybe #the adrenaline gets to him for the beginning half but ive been rereading like.. vol 3? and that entire fight for ww #u can slowly see him spiral as he keeps on going on. anyway anyway. i love ww #ruporas art

[sunlit-mess]

I can only take so much, but lately, they have replaced my reflection. And realize I'm just as bad as them.

#messyr #doodle #vent art #idk what im feeling but im just really tired- pessimistic and agitated lately #overthinking stuff about growth as a person LMAO. Envy that builds inferiority then dissolves into insecurity ew #ive yet to accept the truth that it will never get better- so i can only be there for others until i watch them go. #And I walk back to the same cage where I grew- bc the cage is all I know. I'd watch from afar and wait- wait for what? Idk #Genuinely happy and proud to those who worked hard for that success-- an ugly thought whispers to me thinking why cant I have the same #well- people w the same situations as me- knows how unfair life is so we work twice as hard. but sometimes... It's-- not enough. #And to an unfortunate fate- it'll never be enough. and it feels as if you amount to nothing. #I've been stuck for so long- I'm convinced enough that I cannot be helped. Still I cling onto the tiniest spark of hope. #bpd #abuse mention

[mikoran]

mike being book smart and a nerd but also so oblivious when it comes to human interaction and emotions is so real of him honestly

#mike wheeler #byler #<- target audience #cuz thats a thing i can do right #mike “told you. physics” wheeler and mike “she didnt look fine” wheeler love you #cant read a room to save his life #and hes very embarrassing to watch sometimes #but we love him for that and thats whats important #couldnt catch on that will was going through it all season but can figure out all the problems with the dumbass plan someone just proposed #hes great man #he just like me fr #partially at least #i think im able to catch onto stuff a little too well instead because #paranoia and overthinking #ill notice EVERYTHING and then miss the whole point because i hyperfocused on a detail #so same conclusion in the end anyway #this aint about me why am i still typing

[taeiris]

the insane lack of creativity i have regarding my ocs is astronomical but do i give a fuck ? not too much I JUST WANNA LIVE

#this is why i cant write shit #like just tell me the plot and ill make shit up from there… now… CREATING THE PLOT? #absolutely not #also theyre like superheroes lowkey so its even worse #cause its hard to not come up with some generic shit #but did i? #yes #yes i did #and im trying to tell myself its okay cause nobody cares #i just want to give these guys a story even if youve heard it ten million times #do i look like the warner bros ceo? #no #so dont talk shit #sorry #im overthinking #ANYWYS #EZRA AND IRIS ART COMING SOON

[p0rchc0ll4ps3]

the real reason why they never promoted eyes to lieutenancy is because he woulda' shown up to the function with his sunglasses on and his collar popped like some kind of unprofessional punk

(the real real reason is that he was too damn adhd and a little too graadian for comfort (also the collar thing. that still applies actually.))

#i cant fucking handle this guy #my art #viorel segal #disco elysium #eyes disco elysium #whys he look like this. what the fuck is that. #what is that. why do you look like this. #these r sketchbook doodles transferred to digital and i keep overthinking them like i keep worrying theyre wonk #but i think theyre fine. hes so. jesus fuckfing christ. man. yeah. #the lieutenant uniform uhhhhh i have a better art of kim and jean in their uniforms and ill explain it better then but you just get this fo #for now. but moralintern blue. gold for the royalty. blue scarf and ribbon and belt and cape for the grih. folk symbols r wheat river star #coz each precinct has different ribbon colors and different folk symbols and different colors of the symbols. here the colors r blue for th #river black for the money from the port and red for fraternity. ill have to think about it more in depth so thats subject to change #and uhhhh rcm seal. which is based on the revachol state seal. which is also subject to change. rn is moralintern blue flowers royalty lion #and skua of course. #and red dots for the 6 suns #and the words around it r the RCM name and motto #shoves him in my mouth #also hes like what. 40 something here. hes 5 years older than kim and he was 43 when he died so idk 40 something. early 40s #idfk how to draw older men fr i have to work on that #oh another fun fact i had to digitalize these specifically bc theyre my fave doodles of him #i kept opening up my photo of the sketchpage and STARING at him. ok #thats all #oh wait one more fun fact i did this in between working on my essay. okay now THATS all #i like to say a lot of things. i love to type. ok bye

[merrcat]

Can today be over with already?

#selfie #cute selfie #boredom #bored #over today #over it #im over it #overthinking #over life #done with today #done with people #fucking done #done with life #done #im not okay #im done #can today just end #why cant i just be happy

[needylittlegirl]

i dont like the things going on right now ! ! ! !

#and by things i mean my cat acting weird #he hasnt been eating good or coming by me as much and hes been more vocal than usual #i dont usually get scared when he acts off for a day or two like hes a cat he goes through phases i know #but this time feels really really different and i dont know why #i cant tell if im just overthinking it or if it does feel different #im gonna try to find a vet that wont take my entire life savings for absolutely nothing but #im just scared #ive had a weird little ball of anxiety in my chest all day and i couldnt figure out what it was #until i watched him sniff his favorite food and just walk away #he didnt even come to see me :( #i dont wanna go to sleep what if something happens tonight #tbd

[fisheito]

OH HO!

also assigned anxiety at nu🦀

#had a real moment after i saw this where i was just staring into nothing with my hand on my forehead #going (this can't be true) #going (what does this mean if yakumo is my fave) #my eyes just bugged out as i entered a spiral of #wait so what am i. egocentric? selfcest non-eito? OUT OF CONTROL? attached to similar personalities??? #looks into a mirror #no that cant be. i would never want to date *points at reflection* #why am i even overthinking this. it was 8 questions #result proved.en. i guess............ #i retook the test multiple times with other answers i would pick and they ALL STILL ENDED IN YAKUMO #NEEDS MORE QUESTIONS. THE SCIENCE NEEDS TO BE MORE EXTENSIVE. #IF EVERYONE IS SKEWED TOWARD A SELECT FEW CHARS THEN SOMETHING MUST BE OFF....... #i must collect data. samples. reusltsslls. goodbye

[alucardsinep]

suomen kielen opiskelijat b like

#suomi #the learning finnish experience #i think #kiki speaks #i dont know what makes me struggle w these so bad like. the noun conjugating is Fine usually i can kinda feel it in my balls man #but why are there verb types #and why do i always start overthinking then even when it comes to simple words like lukea #why cant i just guesstimate these with terrifying accuracy

[lima--beanz]

im odd because im me but im not me. like. i want to be not me but i know im me but even though im me i dont think i am me. i love pretending im fictional characters because it's so mecore.

#i dont think this makes sense #its like i feel like my personality changes every so often #so i question myself #but i know at the end of the day it's just me so im overthinking it #but it changes sometimes where it's like i change my vocabulary too?? #i cant tell if it's an online persona thing but idk #this connects to my genderfluidity i think and why i cant pick a name for myself #also why i like some names more than others sometimes #it's not like a system i dont think #bc as i was overthinking i was like “huh this sounds like a multiple identity thing” #but then i was like nah i dont have any major traumas that would cause it #sorry for the rant i will get back to my stuff now

[homingpigecns]

this is like a sadgirl pathetic post but this guy i met recently at work was like, very direct and polite in being interested in me and i've been feeling him out bc i literally do not know him well enough to have an opinion but i can't like. he is so normal and nice. hes like a nice normal guy. every time i text him he doesn't say anything weird and he's extremely nice. what the hell. he's literally so nice. WHY. does he like. me???? like what's wrong with him that he specifically is interested in me????

#this is not even a low self esteem thing but shdhsbdhsdh every girl in the world is so pretty . me??? why????? #literally the day i met him & he asked me out i barely spoke to him was mind numbingly stupid and crawled on the floor on multiple occasion #i cant text this guy bc every time i have to answer im like. this guy is so fucking normal. me??? hes interested in me???? WHY???? #everyome i try to convey this to is like :// aww he thinks ur cute. stop overthinking. WHATS WRONG WITH HIM #he specifically asked me out by asking the relief nurse what my name was and she offered to give him my number if i was ok w it #I WAS AT WORK..... I JUST SAID YES...... and i was like ok this probably will not go anywhere. he probably wont even text me #he texted me while i was commuting home literally he was still doing cases........ #did i mention i was digging through garbage. literally he was like sorry the surgeon yelled at u she gets so flustered and ir was like no #she yelled at me bc im stupid. did u not notice that im stupid. this guy -- NORMAL -- literally saw me at my lowest and asked me out...... #brandon oscillates #brandon what abt the guy at work u had a thing for I KNOW. im so torn however sjsbdbdhdbbx we are like actually coworkers #this guy if i see him every now and then in passing occasionally in the same room. that guy is my coworker for real #it cant happen. also dbxshsdhshdhe he has a 9 yr old hes too old for me. idk his relationship status but i dont think hes married. #also hes out of my league. also my other coworker told me he thinks hes gay but that hes closeted but that coworker is filipino so #mildly homophobic. i also told him to never tell anyone else that. i dont think hes gay. whatever. #i will miss my impossible crush as my hobby but this guy is nice and ahdhs its psychopathic to give him my number and then reject his date #can u imagine #whatever. im doing high school now i guess. the relief nurse is sooo proud of herself #shdbbd literally when i came back from lunch that day my scrub was like THE DOCTOR LIKES U!!! #and i was lkke omg really??? she doesnt think im stupid???? but it was this guy. and she did still think i was stupid #u know i have concert tickets for next thursday but shdhsd i literally have had too many experiences this year #i am trying to sell tgem #personal

[ghostcrows]

ugggh man the

the young pb episode is like. its sweet but its also like if i was finn i would kms immediately after all of that. the psychological fuckery would ruin my brain. i kinda get why he was huddled over a piece of her hair for an episode

#im not saying anything about pb i get why she did it too.. kind of #like wanting to be a kid again and being a little escapist about things #wishing they were different #but the immediate distance OWCH #like i see young pb as them just exploring a what could have been with the worlds shortest retcon #but...ya if me as a 13 y/o who already didnt get why age gaps like that were harmful #had my crush become my age and reciprocate my feelings and then as quick as that happened #she turns older again and wants nothing like that to do with me #id be destroyed by that #its still...its an uncomfortable concept to me the whole premise of it but i think you just cant overthink it idk #you have to think like youre finns age or close to it to not be a little weirded out in retrospect #adventure time posting

[brightokyolights]

.

#hello time of the day where im deleriously sleepy so buckle your seatbelts and prepare for me to make a dot post that is a bit weird #Anyways! idk why but i really struggle with allowing myself to pet cats? #like i love them. i am a cat person. my biggest dream is to have as many cats as humanly possible #but for some reason whenever i am around them... i just feel so reluctant to bother them? #i dont have this issue with dogs. like i will pet them and mess about and not be so worried about bothering them. im still conscious of not #harassing them because like. idk just boundaries i guess. i have this thing in my mind where its like i know they cant actually Say if im #they want to be pet so i try not to overstep. but yeah with cats i am just So much more wary. even though i know so much about them and #their body language etc. like i love cats i do. but im always so hesitant to try pick them up or pet them etc etc #i think part of it is also that i dont wanna bother owners. because even if they say its chill i personally think if i had a pet and #strangers came up to me like :O can i pet them :OOOOO id be kinda weirded out. idk if i am treating pets too similarly to children lmao #i just dont wanna be disrespectful or overstep ever #and i am 100% overthinking all this and idk how to stop dhdbddjjdjdjdjhdjdjdubsjsshsj #le text post

[valpuduzz]

im so sorry to my mutuals i promise i dont wanna vent in here all the time because i know it can be extremely exhausting to be around such negativity and i do wanna make more funny posts but shit keeps happening and venting about it in the tags is sorta comforting in a way

#the meowing of a cat 🐱 #anyways. it is 5am and i cannot sleep because im not tired and also because i fucking hate myself #i wanna isolate myself from everyone #i really do #i really really really do. but i cant and i wont. dont worry. #actually i think i just wanna isolate myself from my crush because it's the only way i know the feelings will go away #but i cant #and i dont want to #YES IM VENTING ABOUT MY CRUSH AGAIN. I HATE IT TOO OKAY #im such a fucking incel and i hate it i hate it #im literally mister nice guy redditor #because i have so much love to give and i hate the fact he will never reciprocate. he doesnt even see me as a close enough friend #i just want to tell him how much i love him but i cant because i told him once and you cant confess again #that's not how that works #please why cant i accept he doesnt like me back why cant i accept it i just want to accept it #i want to let go i want to let go i want to let go but i cant i fucking cant and i hate it #please please please i just want to learn to live with the fact he wont and never will love me back #but i fucking cant. ive tried fucking everything. ive tried so fucking hard. and i always come back loving him more #wish i could punch my brain and my heart repeatedly. i just want to accept this that's all i fucking want #but i cant. and i overthink so hard i overthink every interaction i have with him #i want to let him know i love him but i dont wanna be a creep. he probably already thinks im a creep #but ofc he's so sweet he will never let me know that #i cant sleep and my leg hurts and my finger hurts and im shaking #i just. i really want to tell him the amount of love i have for him. but i cant anymore #he has been done wrong by many people. i wish i could give him my love. but i cant force someone to love me #god im such a Nice Guy incel.... i hate it #dont get me wrong he makes me so fucking happy. it's just the fact that i know he will never love me #and how i will never get to show my love for him fucks me up #i want to show him so badly but the love for him i hold is so overwhelming i cant possibly do that without being seen as a creep #please i just want to let go i want to accept it i want to accept he will NEVER fucking love me but i cant

[gifti3]

I slept on it and i still dont get it

#sometimes stuff just goes over my head tbf #but i dont get it haha 💀 #i think im overthinking again #like its baby connections #but i cant help but wonder what the point is of each thing happening #....!! #like i understand the story but i don't get why #obey me making my brain run in circles for no reason sigh #im just stuck cause of character growth(?) that might not even be that tbh #it feels like it kinda happened for no reason (character wise) is what im saying #but yea im kinda done with the main story #im just gonna read through all my asmo cards now #and i do wanna say i do like what they were like cooking in the beginning #but i do just feel unsure about the endings is all...

[bangcakes]

.

#personal #saw 2 of my friends from school tonight #they asked how its goin with you know who and i was like hhhhhh #and they were like. you should just ask him out #n im like. um........... NDJDJDJDJD #bc literally EVERYONE is saying this to me. #why cant HE ask ME????? god its so #but i am older... by just 2 years. maybe thats intimidating???? he doesnt seem intimidated by me tho. god idk #i think im gonna message him tomorrow #its been like 2 weeks idk JDJXXXKXKKX #i did have a bad cold tho.... JDJJDNDD #god... why is this so hard. and like why is he SO?????? difficult???? #ok not difficult. i think actually hes quite simple but Andjkfkfkdkdk #idk how to explain this man. i really dont. hes like me if you removed the overthinking and my filter #but idk im also scared to start something im not ready for #but then..... feel like it kind of already started #god idk #and with more time passing im like. OH GOD WHAT IF HE FINDS SOMEONE ELSE #???? #but then if thats the case then ok fine it wasnt meant to be #i also am just like.... i feel like. the possibility of anyone liking me back is just... way too foreign #like. idk sometimes im like. what if this is all a joke JDKJDKDKDKDKDM #god idk idk #im also like maybe i should pretend to friendzone him in my mind so that its Less Scary to talk to him #bc like. once i do talk to him its literally fine NDJDJDJKDMD #hhhhhhhh