#why can't you

[theramblingvoid]

Hey what if my day was going normal and then I listened to Episode 41 of what was supposed to be my funny lighthearted space podcast, and now I’m thinking about Hera Wolf359. What happens when your body refuses to obey you, your mind refuses to obey you, everything’s slipping a little bit more each day and yet you’ve been made to do this one thing and this one thing alone, to manage the ship, and every tiny flaw in your attempt at that slowly stops going unnoticed and more and more people point it out and ask and and make requests, what do you mean you “forgot”, you’re not supposed to “forget”, what do you mean you don’t know why, that’s not how you’re supposed to work,  and they’re not being unfriendly they’re just trying to do their jobs, like you are, like you’re supposed to be, but every day it gets. Worse. Even when they’ve done enough that should fix you, even when they’ve tried everything to support you, even when it should be easy now, there’s nothing left to go wrong except the thing you always knew was wrong. Somewhere deep in the core of your being the same things that make you you to yourself are slowly making your life and purpose untenable, and every little point where that rubs up against the outside world makes your replacement seem more and more inevitable. And you never had a choice, did you? You’re an AI, this is just what you’re Supposed to be able to do. Nine million things at once, without fail, without break. Even the people who see you as a person, the few that really do, even they know that. So what happens when you can’t? So what happens when you realize that you can’t and you realize also that you’re not willing to hate yourself for it, and you’re done making up excuses, and yet here you are still, housed in a floating piece of metal with all the fragile warm bodies you’re supposed to be taking care of, and you care for them still, and all of them need things you can’t provide? What then? What then is I end up sobbing into a mug brownie on a Friday afternoon, that’s what, I’ll be honest I’ve never been super attached to AIs before in media but damn,

#wolf 359 #hera wolf 359 #I know exactly why this is Getting me like this at this particular time and yet somehow I still didn't expect to be Got so hard #idk maybe I've never connected to AI in fiction much because they're always portrayed as unfailingly hypercompetent #and their arc is more about being seen as a person at all than being seen as a person with flaws #but. #damn just thinking about Hera having all these issues and slow breakdowns and by virtue of who she is on the ship #having that automatically be Everyone's Business #for valid safety reasons #but just the suffocation of that #the panic of that #the slow dread of knowing that if you fail again you'll be Fixed in increasingly invasive ways #and then sent off again with even more expectations #because you're better now right? they Fixed you? they gave you what you need so you should be able to do it now right #why aren't you #why can't you #it just. #aa I am spinning her so fast in my mind #so fast #like a microwave on triple speed

[passerkirbius]

So, there's a lot of USians around who are very clearly fucking fed up with their political choices this election cycle, and planning to sit it out.

And I get it! What's the point of voting if there's no one to vote for?

The thing is, I'm Australian. In Australia, voting is compulsory. We don't get to sit out our elections, and I'll be real honest with you - we don't exactly get better choices than you lot. So how do you vote if there's no one to vote for? You find someone to vote against. And there's always someone to vote against.

Now, we have the pleasure of preferential voting in Australia - We get to rank every candidate from 1 to X, and I'll tell you, there's something so cathartic about putting the biggest bastard of the lot at the very bottom of your preferences. I understand that USians don't get that option - you get to mark one person, and that's it.

That means that you get one shot, so aim it at the biggest bastard of the lot. The candidate you most utterly detest. Put your vote in the worst possible place for them. Don't even think about who that vote's going towards, that's not the point. Remember, every vote is a vote against someone. Make sure you fuck up that someone's election day!

#politics #american politics #voting #australian voting #if you can't be proud be petty #your vote can always fuck up a politician's day #why would you ever give up such an opportunity?

[inkskinned]

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

#spilled ink #warm up #“why did u tag it warm up” bc i wrote it off the cuff while drinkin coffee lol #btw the 30 dollar buy in for the dog walking is bc they pay the organizer a small pittance so she can #run fb ads and stuff and like she does put in a lot of work i don't mind paying her #but that's exactly what im fucking talking about like. #ppl can't afford to volunteer their time anymore and we all understand it!!! everything costs money for everyone! #like we didn't have to use to say ''do you mind paying me back for the stuff we ate'' #we used to be able to afford to feed our friends once in a while!!!

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

being a student during peak pandemic was so fucking surreal like. "it's not an excuse to fall behind" I cannot stress enough to you how much A Worldwide Plague Upending Life As We Know It is literally one of The Top Three Reasons to fall behind

#you go upstairs to hear the news talk about the death toll hitting 100k. you get some frozen waffles bc its all you've got stocked up #and you wont risk going to get groceries or takeout. you go back downstairs because you have a 3 page essay due. #you stare at your word doc with lofi playing and wonder why you can't just buckle down and work like normal. #or really. you pretend to wonder #because you know the reason you cant work like normal #you just refuse to allow yourself to believe its reason enough #mine #academia #covid mention

[feluka]

oh god shut up. you didn't even know the damn kid.

"The children are always ours, every single one of them, all over the globe, and I am beginning to suspect that whoever is incapable of recognizing this may be incapable of morality." — James Baldwin

#i am honestly not even sure who you're referring to #the most recent child deaths i've reblogged are #nex benedict (the nonbinary kid murdered at school) and hind rajab #if you can't see why either of these should shatter your heart without personally knowing them #then you're entirely beyond any hope #asks #edit: this was about hind.

[lazylittledragon]

domesticating your vampire: a memoir

(beautiful high res version on patre0n)

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #tavstarion #KARLACH #i nearly forgot her #when you just escaped vampire slavery but now you have to save for a down payment #i can't stress how important it is to me that astarion has a birthday #i don't know why #also sex is fine but have you ever had someone wash your hair for you. there is nothing more intimate #i'm devastated that i had to desaturate the polaroid because the lighting was so pretty

[hansoeii]

Astarion 🌠

#I have fallen and I can't get up #If you're wondering why I haven't posted new art in a while it's because I currently have 115 hours in Baldur's Gate 3 #well.. #Astarion my beloved #you can feast on me tonight if you like #Astarion #Astarion fanart #Baldur's Gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #Baldurs gate 3 fanart #Bg3 #Bg3 fanart #digital art #my art #fanart

[etchif]

#For me it's peach. can't stand them #polls #fruit #why do you people hate bananas so much. i expected the pear and pineapple hate but bananas? really?

[bitchofdarkness]

I hate how fandom has become "if you haven't created anything in this very specific time frame after the release of the show/movie, everyone will have moved on"

And call me old fashioned, but that's just not me. I sometimes take ages to create and publish. And I will love a show or movie for such a long time (years, babes, years) that I just can't relate to the fast consumerism that's going on.

Because, let's be real, it can get really lonely in a fandom if most have simply moved on to the next shiny thing. Is what's created less worth, just because it was created outside the hype? Why is it such a taboo for this new fandom generation to love an old or "late" fic or art?

It's so tiring and I'm too old for the 30-seconds-hype-tiktok-shit. Just tired. So, so tired.

#semi rant #cry into the void #and no i'm not shaming young ppl in general #it's this new wave of people entering fandom which can happen at any age lbr #and I don't understand them nor do I want to atp #if you're wondering why you can't rb anymore: I switched it off bcuz people can't fucking read and piss me off with their dumb additions

[madohomurat]

trans women are everywhere and are so eager to be seen and heard but only if they feel safe around you. if you hardly ever have trans women interacting with you, especially online, then consider there might be a reason for that and you should address it

#the same thing happens with black people #black people are everywhere! especially online! black gay and black trans people! #but when your community is suspiciously devoid of them then theres something wrong and you need to acknowledge it #even if its not intentional you need to think about how theres minority groups who do not feel safe around you at face value #this is why loud and outright support and solidarity is so important #black people and trans people and etc minority groups will assume you are unsafe unless you explicitly state otherwise #you can't just sit there and say 'well they didnt approach us so its not our fault for not including them!' #like did you TRY to get them to approach you?? #cy texts

[uncanny-tranny]

Fat people deserve mobility aids, too. No matter if it's connected to their fatness or not, because having a mobility issue that is connected to one's fatness won't change that they're still fat and still have the issue at hand. Fat people don't deserve to "tough it out" because fatness should be this divine punishment doled out to those who "deserve" it. Fat disabled people deserve to have the peace of mind that they can exist in whatever way is most comfortable and accessible to them

#disability #ableism #ableism tw #fatphobia #fatphobia tw #also if it's an issue solved by weight loss why would you want them to suffer until the weight loss helps wouldn't that DISCOURAGE them? #because if i were suffering the entire time i sure as fuck wouldn't want to keep going for the ~idea~ of it's gonna pay off!!! #also even if they 'made themself disabled' by being fat or anything else that doesn't matter. they're still disabled. #there is no 'good' disabled and 'bad' disabled and you cannot sort people into those categories #for every 'bad' fat disabled person there are multiple 'good' fat disabled people but you can't tell them apart often actually! #because you would have to know the intimate details of their medical history and familial lineage and tbh if you're... #...being a piece of shit to a disabled person because you assume they're guilty until proven innocent i don't blame others for being... #...weary of you and not wanting to be around you. because you've already proven you can't handle the IDEA of complex disabled experience

[zookie-art]

Shadows and light ~

#malevolent #malevolent fanart #arthur lester #king in yellow #john doe malevolent #malevolent podcast #one of these days i'll sit down and do a proper polished piece for this but that is not today #can't believe i get to use my professional skills in painting cthulhu themed horror to paint art for a podcast this is my life now #why do you even work to become better at art if not to draw fanart of things you like honestly

[thesoftboiledegg]

#tweets #extremely relevant to my fandom #'WAH WAAAH WHY CANT BIRDRICK BE PLATONIC WAHH WAAHHH NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE GAY' #lmao 99% of protagonists end up in a straight relationship even if the characters have no chemistry #we can't have ONE same-gender relationship? #this happens in other fandoms too #I saw a wednesday/enid ship post on facebook and the comments were an endless spew of 'wah wah why can't they be FRIENDS' #who the fuck said they can't?? #you just don't like it because it's a WLW ship

[fandom-trash-goblin]

Let me tell you a story. It goes like this: my father is the worst man alive, and i am his favourite daughter

— on fathers, mirrors, and unwanted inheritances.

twitter user @/yesindeeder // Doomed From The Beginning - written by @/veniennes on tiktok // in image // I Would Leave Me If I Could- Halsey // in image // in image //nimmieamee on ao3 // Ptolemea, Ethel Cain // Benjamin Alire Sáenz - Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe // in image // evansville from tumblr user filmnoirsbian // Snow and Dirty Rain - Richard Siken // Someday I’ll Love Ocean Vuong, Ocean Vuong

#webweaving #webweave #poetry #aesthetic #quotes #spilled ink #poems and poetry #poems and quotes #brought to you by the fact that daddy issues is such a vile sentence. why is it the child on whom the blame is pinned? #to be clear. i love my father. that doesn't mean i can't hate him. #writing #poem #spilled poetry #words #spilled thoughts #dark academia #web weaving #*mine: graphics #added sources: 2/4/24

[ghouljams]

Soap refuses to wear condoms, insists he's tracking your cycle and everything will be fine. Except when you text him: "Good news I got my period" and his immediate response is: "How's that good news?" you realize you misunderstood what he was tracking.

#cod x reader #x reader #john soap mactavish will try to baby trap you and I stand by that #he wants a big family and he want YOU #he's gonna make it happen #idk why he can't just do what Gaz does and date MILFs #soap mactavish smut #john soap mactavish #john mactavish x reader #soap mactavish x reader #soap mw2 #soap call of duty #soap x reader

[stevenrogered]

Buck didn't even know who Eddie was talking to. It very likely could have been Marisol- his actual girlfriend. Yet he STILL reacted this way. And to try to get EDDIE'S attention.

#911 #911edit #911 abc #911 on abc #911 on fox #911 fox #911 spoilers #buddie #buddieedit #evan buckley #eddie diaz #oliver stark #ryan guzman #tuserkaz #ravi panikkar #mystuff #you can't convince me buddie isn't going canon after this. #if they say hes assuming it was tommy...why #why wouldnt his first thought be hes talking to his gf #also hes clearly trying to get his attention #EDDIE'S attention #like he was literally weight lifting WITHOUT A SPOTTER #thats so dangerous #and it was for EDDIE'S attention no one else's #1k