#which is just!! beyond what i could have imagined!!!!

[grind-pantera]

um hi first time requester here i hope im doing it right. can you give us more noa x reader hedcanons please i'm so happy to find someone writing for him

Noa x Human ! Reader Imagines - Part Two.

Let's go babey round TWO. We are eating good today. This ended up being like 3 fanfics rolled into one. 5K+ Words haha. Likes, comments, reblogs always appreciated! Enjoy reading. Fandom: ( Kingdom of the ) Planet of the Apes. Pairing: Noa x Human ! Reader. Rating: T. ( Just for safe measure. Some mentions of aggression, mating. That good stuff. ) Read Part One Here.

Slow Burn Series: Customary. Gone Hunting.

**Does contain spoilers for Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes.

Noa singing to the Eagles. He felt like he never had the talent. At least, not in the way that his father did. What happened with Proximus Caesar months ago… Noa reflected on that and rested his hand down on the tightly knit together wooden branches that served as a platform high above the whole of the Eagle Clan. It had to have been a fluke of nature, maybe stupid luck that he was able to preserve and get his Eagle to cooperate instead of scratching his arm to unrecognition. Shuffling a bit to the right and out of the council's den, Noa noted that there were still some items that were out of place from the raid of his village. Some small jars tipped over, out of view to anyone who wasn’t looking for a mess. Bird feathers were fallen on the ground, flocking it beyond knowledge that there was even wood there. Noa, being so familiar here, knew otherwise but others would make the unsafe assumption that they were simply being held in animation by a structure made from bird feathers. Small bits of ash here and there from the fire, but the structure itself was able to be repaired to be used again. He was grateful for that.

It was… Where he last was with his father, where he had been crowned shortly after, blue feathers now adorning the band that encased his right bicep, where he felt he had time to reflect and dwindle into nothingness, to not be important because to himself, he rarely ever was and it seemed the feeling was only enhanced now that he was responsible for the wellbeing of everyone in his Clan. They came first, Noa came last. Protect them at the sacrifice of himself. Noa nodded at that, self-assured. He had just disbanded with his council, nothing of interest picking up through the muddled nature of his thoughts. Just talk about the repairs to the village, about the next round of young Apes who were going to be bonded with their own feathery friend… Most days, Noa felt inclined to participate, he was their leader now. But today, there was not a possibility that he could even engage in regular conversation.

He grumbled under his breath, and a few of the birds reacted purely to the sound, not necessarily to Noa himself; that was what he tried to convince his mind to believe as his own Eagle, which used to be his own fathers, landed on his shoulder. There was minimal effort put into the sounds as he began circling the room slowly, looking at each of the Eagles that rested there, so delicate and fierce on their perches. He wished to be that… Strong, unafraid, and confident. Puffing his chest out, Noa feigned fake confidence before ultimately blowing the air out of his lungs, shoulders falling in some mild defeat. He seemed to shrink in on himself before returning to his rotation of the room.

For every round he made with his feet, his vocals grew ever so gently in intensity, his mouth now making an obvious ‘O’. Apes were not known to be great at singing ( at least Chimpanzees ), but they were known to make communication with sounds. Singing was the only way to describe it, and it took Noa nearly a month to explain to you what the sound actually was because he was unsure of the word. He was too self-aware to actually demonstrate. A lot of back and forth ensued. It was not a hoot, it was not a holler. It was…. Humming. Almost, crying in sound. Screeching if he were loud enough. He wasn’t though. He kept it hushed, intimate and private between himself and his birds.

And you didn't have it in your heart to say anything or move, almost splayed completely on your stomach, trying to ignore the jabbing pain in your ribs from resting on the hard wood that served as a ramp upwards towards the Ape you had come to see. He had to have been at least two meters above you at this point, maybe more. It was a stupid decision, you knew that. He’d kick you out from being in such a sacred place to his people. Why you felt drawn here, why you wanted to see him… All rational thought disappeared when you heard him. Noa had told you that this is how bonding went. You sang to your bird in the same way the egg sang to you to be chosen. You hadn’t seen it in practice, until now. Glancing up, you could see the shape of his feet through some of the thickets of wood, a few feathers falling through the cracks and gracefully landing either on you, or nearby. Would he stop if he knew you were there? You wondered and clenched your jaw.

Most likely he’d stop, you figured. Noa wasn’t one to do this in front of others out of fear or embarrassment. The only time he did it was to save his Clan. He’d do it again, sure, but to sing for them ceremoniously was a terrifying thought that was inevitably going to come to fruition some day. He told you time and time again though, the customs, the crown that had been metaphorically passed down to him from his father, the burden, the great angst he felt knowing that it all rested on him. He never flat out expressed that’s how it was, how he was feeling with his inner turmoil, but it became more frequently observed the longer you were in the care of the Eagle Clan. You so desperately wanted to help him.

Grasping a feather in front of you between your fingertips, you propped yourself up to sit and then to stand. Giving one more glance up at Noa, you turned to leave, deciding that you had no reason to be there; you couldn’t come up with one if he put you on the spot. He’d tell you the same, you were so sure of that. But… There was one irrefutable fact in all of this regardless.

Noa knew you were there the entire time.

Noa offering you an animal pelt. ‘They get… cold.’ Raka’s words echoed for a long time in Noa’s mind as he peered over at you, observing the nature of your smaller frame sitting so intently near the communal fire of the Clan. Some chatter off to the side from some Apes also enjoying the fire, but they were out of sight, out of mind for Noa. You were so close that the roar of the flames pushed back the hair from your face, giving the male Ape an exceptionally good view of your expression, even from the distance he was at.

You even had your eyelids shut, he noted before turning his head back towards his hands, only momentarily before he was looking right back at you. You were truly soaking in as much warmth as you possibly could. The waves of light encapsulated in some elegant dance as the blaze flickered across your body. Noa was left feeling slightly mesmerized by that like he would float over to you if you beckoned him. You were covered, shoulders and below, draped in unfamiliar clothing.

Today was the first time Noa had seen you wearing a long sleeve shirt and pants that swept you up, almost consuming due to the large nature of them. You had tied a loose knot around the waist to keep the bottom piece from falling, but he did notice you picking them up here and there as you moved throughout the day. It was obvious that they weren’t tailored to your body, but when you had stumbled upon them and snagged them for yourself, you didn't want to complain. Any sort of clothing was valuable, especially as the winter was coming. There wasn’t much else to that, Noa thought to himself and rested what he was tinkering with down on the bench in front of him.

You seemed content enough, Noa dubbed and gave himself a small smile. It faded just as quickly as it came, the knowledge that someone could see him absolutely enamored like a fool begging for attention from his most desired… Was not very leader-like. Noa felt like he’d snap at someone if they were to bring it up, bring you up as if they had a right to talk freely about you. Well… The joke was on Noa. They absolutely had the right but that didn't stop him from thinking of ways to deter people from doing that. He cherished the jealousy and harnessed it into a protective shield. He cherished you and the feelings that subsided in both his mind and body.

Those seemingly unrequited feelings were what spurred him from his perched seat and setting a small pace towards his nest. You’d be okay for just a minute or two, he figured and scattered a bit more quickly. Shuffling in your spot, you had only taken your eyes off of him here and there as your eyelids rested shut from the tiredness that swept over you in waves. That’s what the heat did to you; made you tired beyond comprehension. Maybe, you muttered inside of your head, you’d just tip right over and fall asleep on the ground rather than making the needed transverse back to your nest of twigs, feathers and smaller animal pelts. You must have dozed off regardless of your train of thought because when you looked up at where Noa had been sitting previously, it was vacant.

You blinked. Something hung on your shoulders. You blinked again, hearing a small bit of heavier breathing coming from your left side. Just a few soft hooing notions to let you know that he was near, not a threat. Submissive, if that’s what you wanted. For a lingering moment, it almost felt like there was a hand, delicately moving against your left shoulder blade, pressing in and out as if probing you to make sure you were still alive, but with sleep on your horizon of your body, it was hard to determine if that happened or if it was what you wanted to happen. Wanted Noa to do.

With your eyes shut at the pleasant sensation of the animal pelt, you drew a deep breath in and relished in the added feeling of your lungs expanding so lazily; like you were being smothered and taken down into a dark but very warm point of interest. “Hmmm.” You murmured out loud. It smelled remarkably rich once you were able to process that along the teetering line of slumber. Like a conifer tree, vines draping themselves delicately over building ruins, grainy like the Earth. There was one more note there, something incredibly fragrant. Familiar and it caused you to grasp at the item around your shoulders to dig your nose closer to it. It was a smell you savored more than you cared to admit, but in your sleepy stupor, it was happily acknowledged verbally.

“Noa.”

He was rock silent next to you, green eyes wide with surprise at the surmise of his name falling from your lips. So… so nice, Noa thought to himself, head tilting to the side in a subconscious bid to get closer to you. There was an intense and increased magnitude of his stare when you pulled the animal pelt he placed around you closer. Closer, Noa seethed softly at that, so close to you, on you… On… His thoughts came to a slow pause as he just viewed you again. You were clutching at the pelt, holding it closed against your chest.

Tameless thoughts hit the young Ape like a wave coming from the absolute silence his mind had previously been in. What it must feel like to have you hold him, what it must feel like to have Echo hand in his fur, pulling him closer, closer. He would beg you, scratch you, bite you if you pleased. If that’s what you wanted of him. Noa had no idea where this surge of ideology, of aggression came from but he did nothing to dampen it. Not when it felt so viciously good to indulge in. His lips parted, sharp canines glistening so delicately in the firelight as he hooted again, not loud enough to wake, but loud enough for him to selfishly remind you that he was there. Yes, yes yes… He chittered, moving side to side on all fours for a second before taking a sharp pace to the right and then back to the left before sitting properly next to you, solaced and draped deliciously as he stared at you. The absolute desire he had to perform such acts, such… Such vulgarity…

He couldn’t stop, he-he… Didn't want to.

Noa welled at that, revered it and felt a sense of accomplishment. You liked it! No, no, he hooted to himself so quietly, taking time to observe you again to confirm his thoughts. You were loving it. He had seen you in various states before. Embarrassed, angry, flustered, minorly injured, reminiscent, but this… Was beyond anything he had seen before. Something stirred inside of him as he sat back, now resting his body against a log for support so he didn't need to put in active thought into keeping himself up-right. He’d wait until you were awake enough, the decision was made, and let you know it was time to go back to your nest for the night. Just a few more minutes, Noa bargained with the most introspective parts of his mind, almost beaming with primal pride that he was able to keep you satisfied. You were vulnerable.

Seeing his nest for the first time. Your lips parted, slightly dry from the air that rolled around the quiet village. You couldn’t bring yourself to do anything as you stared at Noa who unwaveringly stared right back, waiting silently for an answer to a question just asked. But oddly, it felt like there was no question. Shock rocketed through you like you were being electrocuted. It started in your feet, feeling slightly numb before completely overtaking the rest of your senses. You felt blind, almost half tempted to put your hand out to touch something, you felt mute, a hard lump now sitting at the back of your esophagus and it felt like you would throw up if you tried to swallow it down, you couldn’t hear anything outside of your own breathing which made you feel even more isolated. It was hard and rigid, you were nervous and trying to hold it in but it was untimely and bursting at the seams. You knew that Noa noticed and he either didn't put much thought into your reaction to his six signed words. Had you just seen his signing right? Maybe he said something different and your eyes were playing tricks on you! In broad daylight.

Do. You. Want. To. Come. In.

Mentally, you slapped your forehead out of meager frustration. Why did you have to follow him all the way up the platformed structure? Why didn't you stop yourself like you always did? It was not a permission you gave yourself; to be anywhere near his personal space. You’d meet in communal spaces, or out in the field Noa favored. Never personal, never too close… You must not have noticed your feet transition from grass to dirt to wood. You were so transfixed on Noa who sauntered back to his nest to grab something he had forgotten, that you followed blindly. Physically, you raised your hands before dropping them in favor of actually talking. It was quiet and reserved, Noa noticed and he found himself pacing forward just a bit as he had a harder time hearing it, wood creaking as it settled under his weight.

“You want me to come in?” Your voice came to a tapering squeak but you tried your damndest to keep it under wraps. You should have signed, you dummy… Deep down, you knew that Noa had observed that but what you didn't know with any sort of confidence was that he was forcing himself to ignore that heat-skipping a beat feeling he’s been getting more frequently around you. “I don’t know Noa, that’s your home, I would…”

“I…” He started slowly before raising one hand to sign reassuringly, ‘I… would like you to.’ It was your turn for your heart to do that infamous skip a beat. Swallowing hard, you dug your heels into the wood platform below your feet to keep you from floating off at the idea. No! You snapped, it wasn’t just an idea… It was an opportunity that was now given to you, Noa metaphorically holding his hand out to see if you would reciprocate in any form. He was offering you inside, to see Noa’s nest. Where he slept, bided his time, enjoyed solitude when his Mother wasn’t around, when Anaya was getting on his nerves, when Soona was pestering him in her typical sisterly fashion… You figured the question begged was just Noa being accommodating. You figured him telling you that he would like you to was just his way of being polite. Figuring you would not be comfortable to wait outside for him, knowing more about you that you cared to admit in the moment.

If all things went according to how you wanted them to be, you’d jump on that chance. But, you found yourself pensively contemplating if you wanted to step over that metaphorical threshold, this one in the shape of an entryway. The one that landed right in the palm of Noa’s hand. You’d be a bald faced liar if you tried to convince yourself that you weren’t curious. Curling your fingers into your palms, you noticed that they were profusely sweaty. Would it be deemed rude if you denied him? If you said no, convince him you were fine waiting outside? You had no idea how he would perceive that, “Okay.”

Wait. What did you just say? Wait!

Your feet once again began moving without permission, gliding yourself right along Noa’s right side as he offered you to go on first, his hand gesturing repeatedly to the room. Quick in succession. There was no way he was excited, was there? The idea tickled your brain but you shoved it back and drew a deep breath in. From his perspective, Noa watched your rib cage expanding under the soft fabric of your shirt and then regressing back inwards slowly. Meditative breathing, he figured, to keep you calm.

There was nothing calm about this though. Your stomach felt like it was beyond the floor, now sinking deep underground, your ears pricked with anticipation. The fur on his bicep tickled at the bare skin of your arm, caressing and smoothing itself there as you were now shoulder to shoulder with him and you swore you felt his breathing against your neck when he glanced at you, counteractive to your own self soothing breaths. Hard, heavy and fast. Noa didn't know how to cover that up which was ironic because you were so convinced you managed to stave your nerves off.

You step over that threshold, you step over a line that was there for good reason. The rational part of your brain was so annoying.

You pushed yourself forward and with the blink of an eye you were inside. It was… Unremarkably remarkable. Nothing really popped at you, eyes processing through a darkened mess. Nothing in particular you noticed right off the bat, it was a dim lighting, the only two sources being a small fire pit that was begging to be put out, the pieces of wood small and frail, giving just enough energy to hold a mild orange hue and that of an opening to the right, reminiscent of a window of sorts lightly covered by a cloth. Sun peeped in and illuminated only enough to navigate and not pick apart any details. You smiled to yourself at that detail you were able to see. So, he did believe in privacy, why else have what you would consider a curtain? It wasn’t just an Echo thing like he so often pinned.

You shifted to the left and allowed Noa to enter right behind you. He was fast, hunching his body in on all fours, the pattering of his hands and feet entrapping you for a few seconds. He swept to the right, wanting to observe you in vague silence. In his space, green eyes narrowed as you stepped further in, your fingers coming up to touch a leather strap that was hanging against the wall. That was his hunting sheath, holding his spear against his back when out.

You were incredibly grateful as you felt your eyes adjusting to the lighting, able to see more details as you trailed along the left wall, almost as if you were afraid to actually dive further in. It smelt like Noa - Rich in flavors that teased your tongue. Trees surely, but trees bathed in sunlight in the late summer afternoons, smoke from the ashes of fires that burned endlessly, the absolute deepest part of the Earth that you could beckon… Shutting your eyes at that, you tried to document it somewhere in your mind. You needed to remember it, needed to recall this when you were alone later. Noa’s smell became so familiar, but being so near now, it was suffocating you and it threw an absolute chill down your spine.

Noa observed your fingers then raising, causing the Ape to perk up in baited anticipation of you saying something. Nothing came to fruition, but your fingertips were now held in animation against the feathers of his ceremony cloak, lightly placed on what appeared to be a small bench. It was splattered artistically with the blue feathers of the Eagles, the Falcons he had grown up with, admired. Friendly, you thought, with what appeared to be necklaces sitting right next to it, some with adjacent feathers to match the cloak, one holding a large engraved wooden pendant. It was so intricate and you felt the urge to run your fingers along the carved channels. All had been his fathers, tracing back several generations until it landed in Noa’s hands. Some of his most prized possessions. Hooting at that as if he were scolding you, fingers stopped touching around the feathers and you looked over at him, almost whipping yourself around, heart now jumping itself into your throat. He didn't mean to startle, but he just wanted to make you rightfully aware that what you were touching was a delicate garment. Your eyes told him you were sorry and so he allowed you to continue on.

You had turned your attention now to the tinker items he had stored. A few spear heads, some more dull than others, a few more tools that Noa frequented when something needed to be fixed. Against the wall next to his bench was an iron pipe, rusted from years of being exposed to nature. Fleetingly, you wondered why he kept it but didn't want to give off the impression you were judging him by asking why he did. Unbeknownst to you, he wondered so morbidly what you were thinking. Good or bad? Did you like it? Did you… Not…? Like his things? Noa couldn’t see your face, only your shoulders as you were turned away from him now, moving further into the room. Bad choice of sitting so far away from you, he thought to himself, scolding the immature mistake. He should have followed you around. Closer he was, the easier it was to see. He felt his fingers twitch as you came around and looked at his nest, queering it to be the next thing to inspect. Yes, please! Admire it. Say something about it! He yelled inside of his head. He wanted to ask you if you liked it, if you cared to share. If it was suitable.

Inappropriate to ask, Noa berated himself and sat back, realizing he had set himself in almost a pounce-like position.

Branches were spewed all over in a circular motion that tightly knitted itself as it got closer to the center, feathers from the eagles nestled deeply between thickets of animal pelts, some bigger than others. Rabbits, you noticed, maybe a fox as your eyes scored over a red hued pelt. One that was remarkably bigger than the rest; it had to have been a bear. Had he hunted it himself? You tilted your head and moved forward to get a better glance at it. It was a messy assortment and that felt strangely… Endearing. Noa was often quiet and reserved, not much to talk about himself he had told you, only answering your questions when he felt they garnered answers. You were getting more answers from this simple analysis of his nest than you had gotten with words before.

Noa remained silent, your body turning to face him as you were admiring, at least he hoped you were, his nest. His choice of pelts, his choice of comfort and security. You crouched down into a squatting position to get a better view at the nature of his nest. Taking in the smaller details that were resting there. Were you… repoaching him? He wondered with a tilt of his head. You had not said one word to him, did not raise your hand to sign. Did… Nothing. He did not know. He did not know what you were thinking. Frustration rose in him for a split second. He’d tear your head open just to know what you were thinking. Noa’s mouth popped into an open ‘O’ shape when he watched you place a hand on one of his animal pelts. He knew the outcome of that alone; it would smell like you and he was going to obsess about it when alone. He had something now, something personal, that held your scent.

You finally broke the silence and Noa felt a sheer force of relief hit him in waves, one after the other at each of your words, “Very Noa.”

Hm… His mouth fell, agape ever so slightly and you could see the glimmer of his canines as he caught the sun peeking through his make-shift curtain. His green eyes burned desolate holes into your own, Noa noting that you weren’t moving to break said eye contact. Carefully, he did so himself, afraid of some repercussions if he continued to look at you the way he was. Wrought with feral need. He forced himself back into the moment, back into what you said. Were your words an approval? It had to be, the tone of your voice was not aggressive, mean, passive… It was as gentle as he had heard it in a while, only recollecting once or twice that tone being used. Often, in conversations that were more affectionate than others. Rare, but Noa was familiar enough.

“Someday,” He rumbled, the sound of his voice pitching every which way as he was now scrambling to get his bearings. “Will share. With mate.” It had to have been your imagination to see him vaguely gesture to you at the word ‘mate’. Yup, just your imagination which was still running outlandishly wild at the prospect of where you were.. “With family. It is the way of the Eagle Clan.” You nodded, understanding that from previous conversations where he had opened up a bit more about his culture. The mere thought of him someday having a mate, a family, was a bit of a sting, but it wasn’t outside of the realms of reality. For the sake of the Eagle Clan, he eventually needed to provide an heir. And in order to do that, it required a mate. You'd lose him one way or another...

Noa looked over at you, enjoying the tentative feature that found your face. Noa crept a bit closer to you, trying to be as smooth as possible. Gliding is how he wanted to appear. Not to startle, not to intimidate but he wondered if you were by nature. After all, he was an Ape, you were human, together in a room with not any other creatures around. The absolute dissolution he could put you in, not knowing that you had the same power over him.

It was like he was stalking prey, you thought to yourself, Noa finally rounded the circular nest that you were still admiring. Or at least, pretending to admire as he placed his brooding body next to yours, crouching to the same level as to be face to face with him. His apparent scent only got stronger at that motion putting you into some brief tizzy. From the distance you found yourselves at, you could see the striking nature of his eyes in full force. Pupils were blown beyond comprehension, darkening only when he felt you tracing the features of his face. Around said pupils were a thin line of his regular green eyes, maybe a few specks of gold floating around. He was still child-like in some aspects, youthful was a better word. His brow ridge was strong, hereditary as he was always destined to be the leader of his Clan. Always destined to be the alpha. The swooping wrinkles under his eyes always gave the impression that he was tired, but being so close to him now, you saw them under hood eyes. He was begging silently.

His skin was varied in color; darker patches hitting his brow line, starting from his nose, upwards into his fur. There was a spot of normally colored skin on his nose, dipping in color when it met the fur on the sides of his face and around his chin. Very much like a human sporting a beard, you thought to yourself. The fur on his face was not completely shelled in darkness. It was remarkably lighter compared to that of his body and it accented his features perfectly in your mind. You lingered on his nose for a split second - never realizing it was shaped like a cartoon heart that you had seen in some children's books. Snapping your gaze up, you met his eyes again. Darker than they were before.

He was wearing an expression you couldn’t quite put your finger on. Not intimidation. You had seen your fair share of intimidated Apes. Not angry. Also have seen your fair share. It was almost… Like he was languishing. You wanted to know what his features felt like under your grasp… You wanted to hold his face closer to yours and consume… An animalistic bearing hit your chest. Without remark, you lifted your hand up, breaking no eye contact. Noa let it happen, seeing the movement out of his periphery. You were going to touch him, he prepared himself for that, all nerves standing on end. The fur lining his shoulders rose in eagerness, his mouth still agape was mumbling something wordless, soundlessly. You were going to touch him. He was certain his heart was going to climb out of his chest. He was sure he wouldn’t be able to hold onto his sanity. Noa preemptively shut his eyes.

Relief…

Never came.

Just as quickly as you decided to move forward, you were pulling back. Two steps, maybe even three. Noa squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before letting them open. You were gone, leaving nothing for him other than a pelt that smelt like you.

#kingdom of the planet of the apes #kotpota #noa x reader #noa x human reader #planet of the apes #pota #owen teague #fanfiction #fanfic #emmy writes #planet of the apes x reader

[deepouterspacecandy]

thoughts on Owen?

Oh boy. Okay.

So, I was JUST talking to my friend about this.

Let me start by acknowledging that Abby’s relationship with Owen is a controversial topic, and I want to emphasize that my perspective is based on my personal experiences and how they influenced my perception of the game’s characters.  

If you feel differently than I do about him, that’s totally cool and I respect that.

In my opinion, Owen is undeniably selfish. It’s not just because he cheated on his pregnant partner either, which—gross. How horrific is that in and of itself?

We’re all queer here, right? We love our women, and we want them to feel safe and adored, yes? Can we all agree that betraying a partner in this way is beyond unacceptable?

Let’s analyze the other minor moments that said a lot about Owen as a person. These are just a few. I could go on about this forever.

Tragedy struck Abby mercilessly, tearing away her father, her family, her home, and everything she had cherished, leaving her traumatized. There’s no way she wasn’t. Now, I’m not saying that everyone else wasn’t grappling with their own sense of loss, because they were.

But hear me out.

During Abby's most difficult moments of trauma and grief, Owen abandons her. This is after—despite her paralyzing fear of heights—she climbed the Ferris wheel for him. And after, when he didn't emerge from the water, she jumped off without a second thought to come to his rescue.

He must know that her training program provides more than just the means to become a deadly weapon, offering her solace as she copes with trauma, and for someone dealing with such pain, having a routine is crucial. Building new connections and discovering a newfound family creates a sense of belonging and happiness. The gym has become a source of structure and security for her, as shown by her excitement in sharing her latest bench press PR with him.

Yet, he persistently pressures her for more attention, with no advantage to Abby. Then, when she says she wants to go back to the FOB to train for the millionth time, he lets her leave the aquarium on foot, completely alone, which we all know is inherently dangerous in this universe. So, fuck him for that.

You walk your girl home, period.

Owen proceeds to date Abby’s friend Mel, a girl who allegedly spent more time with Abby’s father than Abby herself. Can we address how painful that would be? Give me a break. While still harbouring feelings for Abby, Owen ends up getting Mel pregnant.

He fails to be there for the mother of his child in her time of need, and he sure as shit isn’t there for Abby.

Then, to everyone's surprise (read: nobody’s surprise whatsoever), we discover Owen had been secretly planning to repair his boat and sail away, leaving everyone, including Abby, behind. Remember, it's Abby who defied orders and ventured out into the city to find him, risking everything. Imagine she had arrived at the aquarium only to find the place deserted, and his boat gone with no explanation.

Do not get me started on the sex scene. That interaction lacked any trace of love, consent, or vulnerability. You know what Abby doesn’t need after a treacherous journey, including being tortured and hanged? A penis shoved into her DRY from behind. Scenes like these make me so grateful I’m a lesbian, seriously.

I believe the writers could have found a more effective way to capture an emotional moment between these two characters.

What man has rough sex with their ex, without consent, when they are clearly operating in fight-or-flight mode? A person I wouldn’t want my daughter romantically involved with, that’s for sure.

Abby says it best: “I fucking knew I couldn’t count on you.”   

She was right, from the very beginning. That statement didn’t come out of nowhere.

Is love complicated sometimes? Sure. But was this dynamic tainted with some level of toxicity? Definitely.

Owen's self-centered nature overshadowed any empathy I could have had for his character where Abby was concerned.

The unjust assignment of blame put solely on Abby for the demise of this relationship is wild.

#abby the last of us #abby tlou #abby anderson #tlou part 2 #abby x reader #abby x fem!reader #abby x you #tlou abby #masc lesbian

[tgmsunmontue]

Online & Anonymous 9/16

Hangster. Explicit. Years before they meet in person Bradley and Jake strike up a friends-with-benefits relationship online. And then something more like an actual relationship.

Odd year = Bradley's POV and Even year = Jake's POV

>>Bradley chatting (bold and italics)

>>Jake chatting (italics)

2005/2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013

2014 – Jake

                Jake looks at the dates Nick has said he’s on leave and looks at his own calendar and scowls. It’s getting beyond a joke now and he feels like kicking something. Instead he goes for a long run, feet pounding the pavement in frustration. There’s nothing, not even a few days. Of course plans can change rapidly, which is what fucked them over in the past, so maybe it will act in their favor this time. He can only hope.

…            …            …

>>You know, with Taylor Swift’s new album I could put 1989 back in my username and everyone would assume I was just a fan.

>>You know who Taylor Swift is?

>>I’m a country fan. I like her older stuff.

>>Also I don’t live under a rock.

>>Old man.

>>Like you can talk.

>>You had your original birth year as 1986, you trying to make yourself younger now huh?

                Jake lets out a laugh, because this right here is how he knows he’s still talking to the same guy he started chatting to nearly ten years ago.

>>Nick, I’m thirty soon. That’s the age gay men die.

>>I’ll have a wake.

>>Bullshit. Don’t buy into that.

>>Life isn’t over when you magically turn 30.

>>Life just gets better. That’s how I feel anyway. Got my best years ahead of me.

>>Also I’m over thirty and I’m not chatting with you from my grave.

>>You might be. How would I know?

>>I might be dead by the time we actually get to meet the rate our luck is going.

…            …            …

                He knows the year is going to be a complete write-off when he enters the rec-room and Bradley Bradshaw is sitting there chatting with Omaha and Slipper. He can’t help but notice the two bars and tries to not let it bug him, knows it’s barely any distinction but it still rankles. As does the rejection, which is months ago now, it hadn’t been a stinging rejection by any stretch of the imagination, but it had definitely been a shutting down of anything, and those two-bars will be another reason or excuse Bradshaw will throw out there if Jake tries his luck again.

                Not that he will. He does note that Bradshaw hadn’t said he wasn’t gay, which is usually the first thing out of a straight man’s mouth when he’s asked out for a drink. Unless he’s completely oblivious, and if he’s being uncharitable then maybe he can think that Bradshaw is oblivious. But while he might not have taken Jake up on the offer of a drink, he’d been very quick to take Bambi out to dinner and then take her back to his place, where she’d spent the night. He’d thought he’d caught Bradshaw looking, but he wonders if it was just wishful thinking. Part of him wishes he was ignorant about all of it, but their base housing had all been too close for him not to notice.

                And now here he is.

                Stuck on a carrier with him for the next few months.

                And the fucker has gone and grown a fucking moustache.

…            …            …

                Fortunately Bradshaw seems to be content to keep his distance from Jake, almost like he’s wary of him; he also isn’t friendly, not like he is with nearly everyone else. Jake isn’t an idiot, he can extrapolate from that that Bradshaw doesn’t like him. He already suspected that was the case, and it rankles a little, but he tries to remind himself that not everyone has to like him. Something both Nick and Javy tell him. They’re in different squads, so fortunately the mutual avoiding each other is fairly straightforward.

                What does amuse him though is that Bradshaw has picked up a new callsign, Rooster, and the fact that he knows the origin makes him smirk every time he sees it on his helmet or flight suit. That probably doesn’t help endear him to the other man either, but Jake will keep his fairly benign callsign until someone gives him another one, or he does something either stupid or brave to earn one. He keeps up his Snapchat photo streak with Nick, although he does note the change of background of the morning coffee cup. Looks like every other fucking coffee cup on every naval carrier in the fleet.

                He looks up how many people are currently serving in the Navy and pulls a face at the number. 319,120. He’s one, and Nick is another. He supposes he should feel lucky that he at least knows Nick is Navy, because there are 1.35 million in the US military combined, which is an even more mind-boggling number when he tries to think about possibly of somehow just randomly bumping into Nick.

                Stranger things have happened though.

…            …            …

                “You don’t like me.”

                “I don’t know you,” Bradshaw replies, face bland and Jake responds with an equally bland smile.

                “And who’s fault is that?”

                He walks out of the rec room.

…            …            …

                He rings Javy to complain the next time they have shore leave, and for his credit Javy just lets him rant for a solid five or ten minutes before he tries to interject with anything.

                “Okay man. He really seems to get under your skin. I don’t know what to tell you, because I haven’t had any issues with him. He’s been… cool. He’s pretty chill and laid back, at least with all my interactions with him. Is there anything that you could have done that maybe annoyed him? More than just work shit that is…”

                “Oh. Uh.”

                “Jake… what’d you do?”

                “I asked him out?”

                “Seriously? With the whole attitude you gave him while we were at Top Gun you thought he’d say yes?”

                “I figured it couldn’t hurt to try.”

                “Well, I’m pretty sure he’s got something serious going with someone, at least, that’s what I’ve heard.”

                “Bunch of fucking gossips…”

                “Yeah well.”

                He suspects Javy has got his intel from Natasha Trace, and if that’s the case then it’s probably solid and correct. He doesn’t know what to think when he pairs that with the idea of Bradshaw having something serious but also having Bambi sleepover at the end of their Top Gun detachment. Unless the something serious is Bambi, which is also possible. Huh. He doesn’t say anything else though, because he doesn’t want to care anymore about Bradley fucking Bradshaw than he already does, annoying asshole. He does feel like he’s been a bit of a dick himself though, his comment he made about the fault being his that they don’t know each other. Jake isn’t usually that defensive, knows it’s got to be because Bradshaw turned him down, but he has to respect the guy if he does have something going with someone, because Jake wouldn’t have known, likely wouldn’t have ever found out, and he knows plenty of guys do.

                Too late to do anything about it now though.

…            …            …

>>You still out there having shitty sex?

>>Hey now.

>>I don’t go looking for bad sex.

>>It just happens to me.

>>You clearly have a gift.

>>Wow.

>>Thanks man.

>>Truly I am blessed.

>>You want a picture to cheer yourself up?

                Jake can’t type his reply fast enough, the pictures and videos that Nick sends him few and far between but so good, and he’s starting to develop a thing for long fingers. Especially when they’re wrapped around a cock, and he’s mentioned to Nick that the idea of Nick’s hand wrapping around both of them gets him hot. The picture that comes through is gorgeous, Nick reclining and the picture down the length of his body, one leg stretched straight, the other bent, his cock hard in his hand as he jerks himself. The lighting is warm, like it was taken at either sunset or sunrise, all pink and peach hues. They’ve both improved in taking pictures, and he takes a screenshot so he can stare at it properly later rather than getting flustered about the time bar getting smaller.

>>Saw you take that screenshot.

>>What are you going to do about it?

>>Nothing. Just letting you know that I know you’re going to jerk off to it more than once.

>>Yep.

>>Going to work myself over thinking about getting my mouth on you, sinking down on your cock.

>>I can’t exactly take toys with me when I’m deployed, but I can finger myself and imagine that it’s you.

>>God Jas. Send me a picture?

>>Sure thing.

…            …            …

                Bradley and his squadron leave the carrier after four months and Jake wishes he was leaving as well. Nick has leave soon, it would line up beautifully, but he’s got another three months of this deployment, and then he has four weeks of leave, but Nick is meant to be deployed again by then. The tide has not magically turned in their favor and lined up their leaves and he keeps his most bitter disappointment to himself.

…            …            …

>>Well, you aren’t the only one having shitty sex. Man some guys are dicks.

>>What happened ? Or should I not ask?”

>>Just a hook up. Blew the guy and he didn’t even reciprocate. Tried to give me a handjob but he wasn’t even trying or into it.

>>That doesn’t seem fair?

>>Well, it’s not always fair, but I’d kind of gone in hoping for reciprocation as a bare minimum. Ah well. Can only go up from here.

#online and anonymous #Hangster #Sereshaw #hangman x rooster #Top Gun Maverick fanfic

[fueioekjfisks]

Im so sorry im losing my absolute mind but please hear me out for a second.

Mild tw for implied SA - NOTHING ACTUALLY HAPPENED PEOPLE JUST THINK IT HAPPENED

You know the common misunderstanding au in the danny phandom rn about vlad being a creep and people thinking hes like a CREEPY CREEP and not just a supervillain creep?

Well imagine danny is going on break or something and his dad wants to bring the whole family up to vlads castle for whatever reason.

Danny, obviously, does not want to waste his ONE FREAKING CHANCE of getting some god damn sleep being tormented by vlad and his stupid birds. Plus, vlad will probably plan some big murder plot for his dad and danny CAN. NOT. HANDLE. THAT. RIGHT. NOW.

So danny decides to make a PowerPoint presentation about why he doesnt want to go.

Obviously he cant reveal vlad or his own halfa status so its mostly just really jumbled information about vlad being creepy.

He gets backup from sam, tucker, jazz, and even val. He also knows his mom already dislikes vlad and knows hes a total creep so all he really needs to do is convince his dad.

But??? As hes compiling evidence??? And rehearsing his presentation with hes friends??? He realizes that it sounds super fucked up???

And like, it’s mostly just bad without all the context. But he realizes that Vlad is actually kinda sick in the head. Danny knows he would never actually do something that terrible, but its supper concering how similar his actions are to like, actual bad people.

Danny isnt mad about it or anything, he’s actually just worried about it Vlad.

Danny is not perfect by any means. But Vlad is the only other member of his species besides, like, his fucking clone (which holy shit Vlad what the fuck) or maybe dan who is also fucked up.

Danny knew that Vlads death definitely messed him up, but he never really thought about Vlads actions beyond “obsessive fruitloop, at it again :/“ and is just now realizing that vlad might need psychological help. Which he feels pretty (REALLY) bad about.

Danny has no idea what to do, and no idea who to go to.

So he sneaks out, doesnt even go ghost as he takes the powerpoint to vlad who obviously freaks tf out because holy shit thats SO MUCH WORSE THAN ANYTHING HE COULD HAVE POSSIBLY IMAGINED. What if he had actually hurt daniel? What if he had hurt his precious Madeline?? He needs help like yesterday! How did he ever get so bad???!

So Vlad freaks, trashes his own house, apologizes to danny, and books it through the portal to find the far frozen or somewhere else he can get help.

Danny is somewhat shellshocked about the whole situation. It doesnt get better when people start investigating Vlads disappearance.

The state of the manor indicates foul play and the police look into it further. Find security tapes. They see danny, frazzled and paranoid, enter Vlads property, everything goes to static, and only danny leaves.

Hes arrested of course, and he and his friends/family are interrogated.

Everybody vehemently denies that Danny would ever do such a thing, but when they are asked if danny has potential motives everyone (except for jack) gets all squeamish.

Its practically common knowledge in Amity Park that the mayor and the weird Fenton child had beef. People just were unsure why.

I think it would be really cool to focus a story around the polices pov of the investigation/ random Amity Parkers interpretation of the events.

Danny being kinda creepy after the accident (because death) could totally make people assume he did it and that would be awesome.

We can also add in de-aged Dani/Ellie and or Dan for that extra spice.

Imagine the fentons finding out about Dannys supposed kids in the context that they are MOTIVES FOR THEIR SON TO MURDER THEIR COLLAGE FRIEND ( AND DANNYS OWN GODFATHER) WHO APPARENTLY GROOMED HIM???!? AND THEY DIDNT EVEN NOTICE??!?

This could totally be a crossover too. Lucifer tv show. Batman. Supernatural. All are good.

Anyway, thought this could be kinda interesting

Please continue if you want

#danny phantom #vlad plasmius #potential crossover #potential angst about dannys parents never noticing #danny finally gets some supoort #VLAD GOES TO THERAPY #imagine Casper high students reaction #to the murder allegations #to the supposed pregnancy #danny fenton #maddie fenton #jack fenton #good parents jack and maddie #? #bad parents jack and maddie #does vlad come back and get jumped? #does danny reveal the truth? #do people believe him? #dp #tw caps #tw implied noncon #nothing actually happened #does Vlad have a family obsession? #Technically the Fenton parents killed vlad #and danny #psychopomp danny? #like he freed vlad from his obsession with his parents and now he can finally heal #idfk

[naomiknight-17]

I thought I was very open to different cultures' ways of dealing with death and funerary rituals and that the book I'm reading, From Here to Eternity by Caitlin Doughty, would be enlightening but certainly not shocking

Certainly, I would not be appalled or gasp aloud by anything any culture practiced! I've heard it all - funerary cannibalism, sacrifices, mummification - what could possibly shock me?

Welp

I got as far as page 56 before I was absolutely repulsed by a culture's death ritual, and I am now working through my feelings on that and trying to further expand my cultural understanding. I admit it though, I am not so enlightened as I thought. I got the heebie jeebies

There's like 200 pages left of this book. Who knows what else I'll encounter

#spoilers ahead #it's an indonesian area called Toraja so. look up their death practices if you want to know more #but the part that shocked me was that it is normal to keep a corpse in the family's home for weeks months or even years #before having a funeral and cliff burial #or cave burial. idk i'm not done the chapter #but the shocking part was that children not only helped care for the corpse (that's fine) but also slept in the same bed with it #which is just!! beyond what i could have imagined!!!! #seems horrific to my western sensibilities #but to them it's normal. the corpse isn't 'dead' until the funeral. the person is considered present but unresponsive #so it shouldn't be weird to share a bed with a sleeping relative #sorry i'm just. working through this in the tags here #it's shocking yet fascinating!! #death #funerary practices #toraja #ask to tag #caitlin doughty #ask a mortician #from here to eternity #traveling the world to find the good death

[whatudottu]

Thinking about fucked up dead people clone human Predaking again- have a gaunt but muscular dragon!

#predaking #tfp predaking #transformers #tfp #humanformers #maccadam #fanart #i have been thinking on what exactly would be 'fucked up' and monstrous about a human predaking #enough to go with the 'beast' name calling without reading as... well- #so i thought maybe he has a mouth far too wide for his thin face and stick some teeth in poking out #plus the eyes which maybe also have a colour that's different and fucked up but i have a greyscale piece here so #i tried to make the perspective work but it looks like he's standing head on so oops lmao #i wanted to also make his physique a combination of muscular and gaunt (see words in post) #but i don't know if that was clear beyond the standard dehydration thing that happens when you actually see the abs #but- well- it's not as if i overly detailed them so he could be showing off a more healthy build #anyway i wanted a threatening low angle pose but the only good reference i could imagine was the 'know your place' image #so i just made it an entire predaking based redraw lmao #and cheekbones- human predaking has significant cheekbones because predacon predaking has significant cheekbones #these tag rambles are extra rambly (not even ordered)

[sydmarch]

anyway this is what i was actually trying to find. fucking thinking about this.

#NEED to know about their young adulthood. acele is described as 'late teens to early twenties' & we have no fucking clue how old evrart #is beyond 'around the same age as harry' which could mean anything when klaasje thinks hes 44 & kim thinks hes 56 #but i imagine they ARE actuslly very close in age bcus it'd just make sense wrt the timing of the revolution & all & yknow the parallels #so like they definitely could have been somewhere in their mid or late 20s when they came into power? & this 'at her age' as just a handful #of years before that? (choosing to just believe this line rather than taking it as him only trying to 'kids will be kids'ing away the drug #lab thing & making something up. so i can totally just like imagine lots of anger. at the state of things. about powerlessness. what do we #DO about it? probably getting into trouble & getting in fights for a long time. like leo says they ALWAYS came to help it wasn't just a one #off thing where they defended him it was just that one incident where the bullying stopped. bcus they beat him until he NEEDED STITCHES #like god i can just imagine their childhood & then the adolescent & young adult frustration & all of that coalescing into ok we WILL do #something to make things better. whatever it takes even. coming to the decision it's worth killing for #'your honor it's fine that my little meow meow had someone assassinated he had a bad childhood you see' #im chewing through concrete im throwing up im pacing my enclosure #anyway. me when i'm normal about the video game men #texticles #de #disco elysium #evrart

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

"Cuhut it out- you guys!" "Nu-uh, not until you're all perked up first! You don't want those gym challengers meetin' with an ol' mopey leader, do ya?" "Whitney's right, dear friend. No need to hide that beautiful smile of yours, alright?~"

What it takes to cheer up Johto's beloved ghost boy 👻💕

#some incredibly self-indulgent fluff for my own sake SKJDFSNDFS #Morty was having one of Those days where the weight of his responsibilities as leader and expectations as someone meant to bring back Ho-Oh #-felt a little too heavy to handle (more so than usual) #luckily his best friends (and mayhaps crush of nearly an entire decade) are here to take a stand against his low mood 🤼 #I've been having brainrot of Whitney's dynamics with these two alrighttttt they all deserve to be silly with each other #best wingman award goes to this girlie for putting up with these two's mutual pining antics for years sdkfjskjdfh #the way I see it Morty and Whitney were besties way back before they had even become leaders (with Morty being the older between them) #there were definitely rumors going around between their towns about how they're an item #when the reality is that Whitney's more focused on winning the affections of the other cute girls she hangs out with #while Morty's a repressed gay lad burdened with religious guilt SDJFHUISJDNFS /LH /LH #the second Whitney caught wind of Morty actually developing a crush on someone you just Know she was on his ass Immediately #asking about aaall the details--who he is- what he does- how he dresses- if he could even conceivably pass her standards of how a-- #--fitting partner for her best friend's meant to be #to which an incredibly exasperated Morty struggles to answer because Eusine is just beyond his comprehension /affectionate #when Whitney does eventually get to meet him in person the first time she most certainly takes a jab at his fashion sense SDKJFSDFNS #BUT they do end up getting along a lot better than Morty braced for- which was a huge relief to him #it soon reaches that point where Eusine's secretly asking her for details on the things Morty likes and how to possibly impress him #all the while Morty's asking her for advice on how he could cope with his feelings when he's still unsure on whether they'd be requited #Whitney finds the whole ordeal simultaneously very funny and perhaps one of the most frustrating things imaginable SDKJFSKDNFS #enough of me yapping thouuughhhhhh I should save that for its own post 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ #pokemon tickle #gym leader morty #morty pokemon #gym leader whitney #whitney pokemon #mystery man eusine #eusine pokemon #eusine #lee!morty #ler!eusine

[huntingrays]

so, i love and vibe w bi leo, it’s so good

however

something just hits different with gay leo who’s been performing heterosexuality for years

#heroes of olympus #leo valdez #like i could write a whole essay on this (not rlly but also yes rlly) #like lil him somehow getting in his head that you have to find someone who likes you and then you’ll grow to love them #and that all guys just think girls are pretty but don’t like them beyond that until they get to know them #and he doesn’t get to explore feelings for girls bc nobody shows interest in him and he keeps like running away from home #and then he meets fake memory jason and something just clicks #but he assumes it’s just bc they mesh rlly well #but then he has the classic italicized oh moment #but he just thinks he’s seeing why girls like jason so much #and so he ignores it and tries to get a gf. bc surely if he flirts w pretty girls he’ll find one who likes him right? #and once he finds a girl who actually likes him then he’ll fall for her and know what all those guys w gfs are on abt #but also mans probably has some catholic guilt n internalized homophobia n shit #bc yknow his aunt calling him a demon/devil (i forgot which it was) #i can imagine him and nico bonding over this and falling for heroes #and he’s SHOCKED when pipes is talking abt what she loves abt women after she comes out #and he’s like ‘wait what???? I’ve never thought that way abt girls ever. you don’t just like them bc they’re objectively pretty????’ #and then they have a long convo abt sexuality #and he has a realization that the way piper feels abt women is the way he feels about men (but mainly jason) #maybe he’s also aspec? I could see him being demi and only liking someone after getting a connection w them #valgrace #man now i wanna write a leo sexuality crisis fic #but i got so many fics i wanna write… the main one being a revival fic bc the boys deserve to be happy #but also i need more valgrace fics… and you should be the change you wanna see in the world #as someone who’s arospec i’m just projecting onto him but with a different flavor

[todayisafridaynight]

true i wanna see sawashiro and akane reunited, maybe for y9? if ichiban gets married or sth

big fan of the optimism on display here

#iw spoilers #spoilers #snap chats #i cant imagine there being a y9 im gonna be 100% #like what the hell is there to do now #granted the kiryu games arent linear and dont always connect to each other so they could make up a totally new plot unrelated to the past #but still i really cant imagine what else there is to do .. the yakuza are gone ... allegedly .... who else is there to have beef with #we already fought the government #beyond that tho its very generous to think akane's ever coming back #as soon as the mission involving her was completed she was pushed to the side of the story and just felt so insignificant #which SUCKS cause she seems like such an interesting lady but oh well .. #also thinking ichi getting married HELP #i still think that the ichi/saeko plot was unnecessary as all hell. btw. like i was right to squint hard as balls at that

[fragmentedblade]

Dan Heng, Blade and Jingliu the three went to see Bailu, and it kinda makes me want to jump off a cliff

#I talk too much #I should probably delete this later #Even beyond fragmented memories and a state of forgetfulness they remember enough to want to see her!!! #idk I love them haha #I don't think Dan Feng was in love with Baiheng for what I've read even though it seems to be also an extended opinion at times #I think he loved of her the same thing he loved of Yingxing‚ that he was treated as a normal person by her and not as high elder #(Jingliu wonders how someone so proud and someone so arrogant could get along and beyond how hot arrogance is at times #and how invigorating to have two prides opposed and crash‚ I think that's why! Dan Feng appreciated that Yingxing just treated him #as a person with all his defiance‚ beyond roles and statuses and even being a short life species) #He also just loved her of course. And he felt indebted to her. And guilty I imagine #And honestly I think he used this as a means to create a new high elder and break free of that cycle he so resented as well as new life #Which makes his actions several layers of selfish and selfless and selfish and selfless and I love the complexity and the grey hues #But yeah in any case I love this. I love that they remember beyond memory and death enough to want to see her again #(romantic or platonic love aside‚ I don't care‚ that's one of my favourite things of Orpheus and Eurydice in Ovid's telling) #And I love that Bailu isn't scared or repulsed or prejudiced against them #Like the ghost of the past fondness still clinging to her‚ like how she tells Dan Heng that maybe they were friends once in another life #They were. There was so much love they defied the laws of humans and aeons and the rules of existence only for you #There was so much love they unmade themselves for you. There was so much love the history of the Xianzhou Luofu changed forever #There was so much love you can see stains of that love everywhere still‚ seven hundred years later #There was so much love their love still lingers‚ making them dead and immortal at once #There was so much love even a bit of her love still lingers in Bailu‚ even if she is someone else #I don't know... I just love this kind of love and grief story. This becoming monstrous for the beloved and yet not being able to regret it #Not entirely. But how to regret it? #All the pain and even the mistakes would be worth it for you‚ or would have been; I just wish you didn't have to suffer #I only regret having caused you suffering #I'd risk and curse it all again‚ given the chance‚ if I could do it right. But only if it wouldn't cause you suffering #How do you define a love like this? And how could it matter?

[lvllns]

every time i see someone say that the darkness outside is a romance set in space i’m like. not.......really.

#reed.txt #'space but make it ~gay~' that is so not the point of that book. like at all. #if ALL you get from that book is gays in space then you missed the whole thing #which is that the darkness outside us is actually an incredibly thought provoking novel about what the fuck it means to be human #and the tenacity that human beings possess even when faced with circumstances so beyond the scope of anything you could imagine #it does tackle what love is and how you can build love. how it's something created and not inherent. #but. i dunno man. that book is so much more than just gays in space ffs #that book fucked me up for 3 days and i STILL think about it constantly #anyway if you want to have your whole entire fucking world rocked please read the darkness outside us it's INCREDIBLE #i devoured it and then felt hollowed out and mourned the fact that i'll never be able to experience it for the first time again #i'm just. i'm emotional all the time about ambrose and his violin.

[mariocki]

Play 20: Phaedra's Love by Sarah Kane

First performed: Gate Theatre, London, 1996

Quote: "There's a thing between us, an awesome fucking thing, can you feel it? It burns. Meant to be. We were. Meant to be." (Phaedra)

Stage direction: [Opens her mouth. No sound comes out.]

Notable cast: the original Gate production included Andrew Scott in a minor role. Laurence Penry-Jones starred in a 2005 revival at the Old Vic.

Notes: Only Kane's second play, Phaedra's Love was commissioned by the Gate Theatre, who asked for a drama inspired by a classical text. Reworking Seneca's Phaedra, Kane produced a clipped, precise distillation of tragedy as narrative. A paean to self-destruction which comments on voyeurism, faith and the inadequacies of love; critical reception was muted when compared to the histrionic moralising that greeted her first play, Blasted (1995). Featuring scenes of astonishing violence and horror, contemporary readings often focus on the brutality and nihilism of Kane's dialogue - but they're missing an extraordinary tenderness which unfolds alongside it. A masterful, troubling work from one of the greatest (and most sorely missed) voices of a generation of theatre.

Read: for the first time, but definitely not the last.

#100plays #phaedra's love #sarah kane #modern drama #modern theatre #seneca #phaedra #andrew scott #laurence penry jones #gate theatre #Kane was just 25 when she wrote Phaedra's Love‚ but her work was already both highly regarded by some champions in the established theatre #(Edward Bond was a mentor of sorts‚ Pinter an admirer) whilst simultaneously provoking outrage among critics and audiences #a remarkable work from an extraordinary playwright‚ one of the most significant voices in British theatre and a burning visionary whose #untimely death robbed us of who knows what kind of incendiary work. Sarah's work has been much reevaluated and appraised in the years since #she took her own life‚ and her current critical standing is beyond anything she could have imagined in her own lifetime; but still academic #work on her texts focus on the perceived nihilism and bleakness of her work‚ equating the graphic violence and strong language with her own #struggles with depression. i think there is some truth there‚ certainly‚ but what I think is missed is the flipside: the tenderness in the #scenes between Hippolytus and Strophe is rarely written about with as much zeal as the horrific scenes which close the play. Blasted‚ the #play which both made her name and brought astonishing condemnation from the press and government‚ remains a distressing and #disturbing work; but again‚ it's rarer to find critical commentary on the revolutionary act of kindness which ends the play. Sarah captured #something deep and true about humanity‚ something cloaked in deep ugliness and terror and violence‚ but at its heart something still very #human and capable of kindness and love in even the most grotesque of situations. and in that she found a unique voice that sees her work #still performed and written about and appreciated as something startling and new and different‚ nearly a quarter century after her death.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also it's only just occurring to me that like, i presume and enjoy how Unfixed In Time (or at least without peak specific precision) gtmpota is, while based on a book published in & set in the '90s, and here i am noticing how there being a Leave A Message For Brooke Specifically recording in understudy buddy is Not ['90s] when like, even if a middle schooler had a phone in their room it'd be a landline that shares its number with that of the whole household, but it's also decidedly '90s esque in being like an answering machine recording with the Beep tone / sound quality and all, as well as of course definitely being a message left via phonecalls rather than tina ostensibly reading out a text or something

#although it occurs to me that you could commit to cellphones and even smartphones just via whichever props are used #i definitely think of it as taking place at anytime from the '90s to present as well at every time simultaneously lol #goosebumps the musical #total tangent but i was thinking of things Animatically the other day including that i already incorporated zeke's wearing a digital watch #as a detail from the book and an aspirational trait for everyone (god i wish that were me) such that while listening to A Super Scary Play #i envisioned him going ''what time is it now'' and brooke answering ''2:21'' by consulting his very wristwatch herself lol #which reminds me today i had such a moment while already having just noticed the sounds of the clock ticking on the wall right beside me #namely wondering what time it is; going ''oh to have a way to peak conveniently find out Right Now''; Then recalling i could turn my head #i also can imagine that this just allows itself to be a little more period piece affixed in time Than Not #and that letting the answering machine message be recorded by just brooke / received by just her is for efficient brevity And clarity #rather than like requiring you to remember her last name or have a whole other adult cast member provide that line etc & such #like if the combo '90s / '00s / beyondness of this detail is mostly a happy accident then i embrace that too

[cheesebearger]

*physically restraining myself from getting in yet another fucking argument about alchemical significations and the perception of alchemical language with someone who is only really versed in the scientific history of alchemy*

#the PERCEPTION of alchemists as 'mystics' is as integral to alchemy as the science was #like there is a REASON people think they were mystics lol. they couched their words in religious doctrine #and we have proof across literature in the early modern period especially of alchemical lang. being used to metaphorize #transcendence or an alteration of the self or of literal racial transformation #there's a reason shakespeare's pericles is only a cohesive narrative when viewed through the lens of an alchemical romance #there is and was a wealth of meaning attributed to alchemy that goes beyond merely 'hiding trade secrets in code' #and it's actually kind of weird to downplay it as just code. as merely code to protect trade secrets #that isnt what these writers were doing - they were producing content for alchemists AND non-alchemists #these books were purchased by laymen. their emblematics were used to decorate people's living room walls as wallpaper #and btw your christian mapmaker shit is once more stupid. yes there is obvious religious meaning in placing religious icons #on a map of the world. it imagines the world as created by a christian god and therefore enforces a christian perspective #depending on what kind of creature or icon used they could be communicating vastly different things #i wouldnt call them a 'mystic' for it but they also werent writing about how overcoming personal suffering can lead to spiritual perfection #like all those readily available alch texts were doing. lmfao #let's just totally ignore the ways in which the EM english audience made paracelsus into a figure of christian mystic alchemy #bc paracelsus personally didnt do it. like thats not how things work. we cannot ignore the perception of these ppl by others lol #it doesnt MATTER that most of the actual alchemists were scientists. it DOES matter that people thought they were mystics #do you understand? that it matters that ppl thought paracelsus was communicating smth about christianity specifically? #that it matters very much actually that people perceived alchemy as a CHRISTIAN (white!) mystic science? #im feeling rabid lol

[arielmagicesi]

lesbian and ace girl solidarity is definitely thinking that our friends were attracted to men as a long-running bit. finding out that the reason they ‘acted like boy crazy idiots’ was not, in fact, because they were trying to ‘conform to society’s standards’ but because that is how teenagers act when they are experiencing real live sexual attraction that they’re not repressing... like I am so sorry for how I made fun of you in my diary for liking Justin Bieber or whatever

#this is just my hooty hoo dumbass post i guess #but in response to me thinking about why i didn't like twilight #i mean. twilight objectively sucks. #but i probably would've been super into like. first kill. which is lesbian twilight. don't fucking @ me that's what it is #terrible terrible writing. problematic racial dynamics. glimpses of potentially interesting worldbuilding that we ignore in favor of #the boring-ass main couple looking into each other's eyes and saying melodramatic shit #but yeah if i'd seen THAT at age thirteen? i would've been all over it #i would've ignored the bad writing because ommmggg pretty girls kissing wooooow i am hypnotized... #and i have to imagine that's what my straight girl acquaintances were doing with robert pattinson #and sorry to my followers if you loved first kill. i watch riverdale i can't very well judge #but i just. long sigh. i did not enjoy it #and there's more serious criticisms i could make but i'm not gonna put a manifesto in the tags beyond what i already have #anyway #written by me