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#which I find myself doing a lot these days
nondualiber · 2 days
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real useful things i've realized about loa while i was "resting" from tumblr & overconsumption:
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• stop gaslighting yourself, make actual change instead. you know when you're not doing it right. if you spiral, get desperate, dwell in the old story... well, i've got some news. -- this might seem obvious but for me it wasn't. i was super desperate, giving like 1 step forward 50 steps back but i still played blind bc i thought that if i just said "oh no but my mindset doesn't matter" that would solve all my problems. damn
• WHAT WORKS FOR YOU. ik EVERYONE says this but omfg. i can NOT stress this enough. actually find what works for you. i used to think that my key (decide once n keep going with my day) was not a "correct" way to do it bc it made "no sense" or wtv, but now i've manifested a lot of things with that method & i'm so proud of myself for doing so :,,) wdym with "works for you"? whatever makes you confident enough to not spiral, to believe you actually have what you want, to not pay attention to the 3d & doesn't make manifesting feel like chore but something that comes naturally for you is the correct way to do it. trust your feelings, your intuition, yourSelf; they don't lie
• work on your manifesting concept, a.k.a trust in law. we talk a lot about "self" concept but not about "manifesting" concept. for me, i (kind of) believed i could manifest, i just didn't believe 100% in law. i still don't, but i've gotten considerably better!! my best tip to build trust in law was to start manifesting things that were "easier", more archivable, but not happening on a daily basis so i'd know if it was my manifestation turned reality
• stop consuming. not over-consuming but just consuming, literally. don't read neville, don't open tumblr, don't listen to edward nor any other coach! again, this one was obvious to everyone but me. trust me, you already know everything you need. "but i actually put in practice what i read!" yeah, but which one? you read 100 methods everyday. consuming is thinking from the 3d, and long-term it will demotivate you. trust me
• and last one, forget about deadlines. "when will i have it?" now. "where?" here. now and here. keep that mindset, and tbh in one week it'll be done
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strniohoeee · 2 days
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Labyrinth
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Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female reader
Synopsis: A numb and addicted y/n can’t seem to understand why her life suddenly feels different. She’s done nothing but move around in her adult years, so why is it now that she feels she can’t pack up and leave anytime soon?
Warnings⚠️: I haven’t written in over a month, so I’m super rusty this might be shitty! Cigarette smoking and mentions, mentions of addiction, mentions of alcohol. I don’t condone smoking or drinking (underage).🖤
Song for imagine: Cigarettes and Coffee- Otis Redding
Its early in the morning
About a quarter ‘til three
I’m sittin here talking with my baby
Over cigarettes and coffee
I was never one to deal with stress easily which led me to deal with it in the worst ways possible. Drinking, smoking, quitting jobs on the spot and even packing up and leaving places…..I know stupid and risky, but I never had that anchor in my life to tell me everything was going to be okay.
If I felt stressed and useless my things were packed and I was on the road to a new state. I think I was on state number 7 in about a year and a half. Who the fuck in their right mind handles stress this way? That was the million dollar question, and I had the answer…. I wasn’t in my right mind…not in the past, not in the present and undoubtedly not in the future.
After my last breakdown I landed in California precisely in Los Angeles, the city of angels. Where all your dreams and aspirations could come true. It just felt like lost paradise to me, but it’s the longest state I’ve ever stood in. For some reason I couldn’t find the power in me to leave when I got stressed. It was as if I had some unforeseen future here….a future of happiness and hope?
But the stress still gnawed at me. Will I ever have a career, will I ever be truly happy, will my parents be proud of me?How am I going to pay for next month's rent?How am I going to pay for next week's groceries?
It was a constant battle and I never severely suffered because I always found a way, but once all that was taken care of the immediate panic started again about how will I be able to do it all in the following weeks.
I started smoking constantly and it was weird because I wasn’t a smoker but I knew I should drink a little less. I only lit a cigarette when the stress was so bad I refused to drink anymore. Not like smoking was any better ruining my lungs rather than my liver….
But the problem was it went from one to two a day to five and on really bad days even up to eight. It was a bad crutch I simply couldn’t pull away from. They were my training wheels and I was so scared that once I let go I’d crash and burn.
I had an addiction and I had no one around me to slap me out of it. Of course I still spoke to my parents, but I just lied about it. I mean there’s truly no one to blame but myself, however all that regret left my mind once a lighter was in my hand and I took a long drag while the cool night breeze brushed against my skin.
I was lucky enough to have found a job almost instantly. It was a cute little coffee shop that had a small selection of books. It was a peaceful and slow paced job. We only really needed two to three people working. So I’d open at 8am and waited for the next girl to clock in at about 11am.
It was a fun job that paid the bills and my horrendous cigarette addiction. I had found a decent studio apartment nearby. But I was always convinced that this would be snatched from under my feet and I should never get comfortable. As you can expect this led to my extreme stress and anxiety.
I didn’t necessarily have friends here, I mean yes I was cool with my coworkers and boss; but we weren’t friends. It was more of a hi, bye situation. It didn’t bother me much. I was always a loner. I never really found people who got me, so I stayed with the only person who did…me.
On my days off I spent a lot of time walking around flea markets, heading into other cafes and even writing. I’d always hoped that one day I’d be a writer. My mind was always running and I figured someone out there might actually relate to and enjoy the words I’d write on a piece of paper.
Today I was actually working a small shift from 8am to 1pm. I was staring blankly at my reflection in the bathroom. Scruffing my hands and gargling mouthwash. It was 11am and I was coming back from my break.
Spitting the mouthwash into the sink I closed the cap and stuffed the travel size bottle into my purse. Inhaling deeply I looked at myself once again.
“You have got to stop smoking” I replied in a mumble
Slipping my hand blindly into my purse I pulled out my perfume; spritzing myself before shutting the light and heading into the break room to place my purse back.
Slipping my apron on my coworker walked in, clocking in the back as she offered me a smile
“Good morning Y/N” she said as she walked towards me to place her things down
“Good morning K” I stated as I offered a smile back and began to make my way to clock back in
I wasn’t sure why her name was K, it was all over her employee paperwork. She was here before me, so I felt I had no right to ask her for her real name. But it was interesting for someone to just drop the rest of their name and solely go by a singular letter.
After punching back in I walked to the front, not a surprise it was dead. The only people lingering around were the 8am-9am crew. Sighing deeply I decided to clean up a bit.
It was about 12pm now and I was watching the clock anxiously waiting to clock out and run free. Usually I worked 8-4 and sometimes even 8-6. I had a whole day ahead of me and two days off might I add. I felt pretty invincible
Drinking from my water cup the door chimed signaling a customer. Placing the cup down I began to turn around.
“Hi welcome to Mugs” I stated as I turned around
Immediately I was intrigued. I have never seen someone as interesting before. I mean it is LA, so I have seen some interesting stuff; but no he looked different…. And for some reason I couldn’t really look away
Placing his vision glasses on top of his head he squinted his eyes to read the menu. My eyebrow raising.
“You know glasses are meant for you to see things” I said logging into the register as I looked up at him
“I’m sorry?” He said looking at me
“You um…. You put your glasses on your head and then squinted to read” I said pointing above me at the board
“Oh… well these are just blue light glasses. I genuinely can’t really see” he said in an awkward way
“Ohhh well uhh want me to read the menu to you?” I asked laughing a bit
“Oh no it’s fine, I’m not really a coffee drinker” he stated looking at our pastry display
“You do realize you’re in a Coffee shop?” I said jokingly
His both opened a bit and then he squinted his eyes
“I am now seeing how ridiculous I look” he said chuckling and shaking his head
“No judgment here” I said sticking my hands up in defense
“I won’t waste your time any more! Can I have a chocolate chip cookie and that bottle of Pepsi” he said pointing behind me at the small fridge
“One Pepsi and one cookie, coming right up” I said checking him out on the screen
Grabbing the cookie and bottle of soda I placed it on the counter and slid it towards him.
“You can tap or insert your card whenever you’re ready” I stated clicking some buttons on my screen
“I’m uhh actually paying cash” he said fishing in his wallet
“Woahhh cash in this century?” I said giggling and fixing the system
“Yeahh I carry a little bit of cash and little bit of card” he said shrugging his shoulders
“A little bit of card….hmm…that’s funny” I said giggling a bit at him
“Well you know what I mean” he says playfully rolling his eyes
“I’m just messing with you” I said shaking my head
Smiling he handed the cash over and grabbed his items
“Keep the change” he said waving with his hand and nodding his head
Walking out the door I couldn’t seem to understand why I had a stupid smile on my face. Putting the cash in the till and placing the change in our tip jar.
Turning around I was met with my two coworkers staring at me with a smirk on their face. I’d never been the spotlight of attention and I’ve never gotten anything other than a good morning from either of them. So my face dropped and I got self conscious
“What?” I said a bit scared as I straightened my posture
“He was totally into you” K stated as she placed the rack of cookies down
“Was not! We were just making friendly conversations” I said opening the pastry shelf and putting some cookies in
“No no I agree with K we’ve had a lot of guys come in here, but this is the first time I’ve seen a guy like utter more than two words to you and he was totally geeking out” Delilah stated
“Totally! That kid was blushing like crazyyy” K stated as she grabbed the now empty tray and began to walk back towards the kitchen
“Guys come on! It was just friendly banter” I said shutting the pastry door
“Delilah knows her shit too, that’s how Danny and I got together” K stated from the kitchen
“Shut up! No way” I said rolling my eyes
“Sure did! As soon as we had an interaction K told me he’d be back for my number, and that was three years ago” K replied
“You just got lucky this was nothing but mere coincidence” I replied back to them
“You’ll see girl” Delilah stated as she began to make herself a coffee
Playfully rolling my eyes I checked the clock, I had about 10 minutes till my shift was over. I decided to make myself a drink.
As I made my iced latte I began to wonder. I didn’t really have many interactions with guys, but I think I’d know if someone was flirting with me.
It just felt like a friendly banter with an awkwardly shy….nerdy guy. Laughing to myself I finished making my drink.
“Alright girls I’m going to clock out now” I stated as I walked to the back
Punching out and grabbing my things I slid my apron off and grabbed my drink. Heading towards the front of the cafe
I waved bye to the girls as I took a sip.
“Have a good day girls” I said as I walked out
I had the whole day ahead of me and I didn’t even know what I wanted to do. My job was near a pier where I could always sit down and watch people.
Before heading to the pier I decided to stop for some food. Heading into a small restaurant I sat down. Taking my book out of my purse I began to write. I hadn’t written in two weeks and it felt wrong.
Ghosting my hand over the paper, my mind just kept going blank. I couldn’t form a proper sentence and my mind began to race again. Thinking back on that boy I began to think about my love life.
Honestly I didn’t really have one, I was more of a hopeless romantic. Often watching rom coms and rolling my eyes at how unrealistic that love was. I’m sure it was tangible, but I was just a sour puss.
I longed for a relationship like that to always know you’ll have someone there for you loving you unconditionally. To be with someone through sickness and in health. I was only 22, but it seemed to me that everyone around me already had that amazing soulmate. I was very clearly late to the game and I wasn’t sure if I’d ever find someone to love. I wasn’t even sure I was lovable myself.
Then again I never put myself out there, but times have changed. It's not that easy. Guys have become so shitty and all they care about it sex. But it’s like what about getting to know the person deep down.
Not once has a guy ever asked me my dreams and aspirations, where do I see myself in five years? What are my biggest goals in life? What’s my biggest fear….. I lost all hope for love by the time I was 18.
Reading romantic stories and watching these shows and movies definitely added salt to the wound.
I hadn’t realized how much I was writing till my hand began to cramp. Looking up I realized it was no longer daytime.
“Shit” I muttered under my breath
Slamming my book shut I paid my bill and began to gather my things. Walking out of the restaurant I stepped out onto the golden street. It was about 5:45 and I really couldn’t understand how that much time had passed.
I think that’s why I enjoy writing the most, I’m so far gone in my own world it’s like I’m frozen and the world around me continues to move.
Walking towards the pier it was surprisingly empty at this time. Breathing in the salty air I sat down on a bench. Watching the ocean I let the breeze blow through my hair.
Digging in my purse I pulled out my pack of American Spirits. Sighing deeply I pulled a cigarette out. As soon as I grabbed my lighter all the regret washed away from me.
Placing the white object in between my lips I flicked the lighter a few times before a glowing flame appeared before me. Guarding the flame from the wind I brought it closer.
Inhaling as I lit the cigarette all my worries washed away. This was only my second cigarette of the day and I somehow felt accomplished.
Kicking the gravel underneath me I took a long drag, exhaling I got up. Walking over to the edge of the pier I decided to sit down allowing my legs to hang off the edge.
I wasn’t 100% sure I could do this, but it’s worth a shot I thought to myself. Leaning my chin in the railing I took another drag as I stared into the sunset.
Life was so beautiful and I wasn’t sure why I was so sad and numb all the time. I took a lot for granted and I hated it.
I really needed to stop smoking.
“You know those things will kill you” I heard from behind me
My brows began to furrow as I took a drag
“I’m sorry?” I said annoyed as I looked behind me, blowing the smoke out through my nose as my face dropped
“You shouldn’t smoke” he said again with a cheeky smile on his face
Meeting eyes with the same guy from the cafe made my heart skip a beat and my throat go dry.
“Squinting your eyes is also bad for you” I said putting the cigarette out
“Won’t kill me though” he said shrugging his shoulders
“You never know” I said shrugging my shoulders and standing up
His eyes followed me as I got up and it was only then did I feel super self conscious about this whole situation. My embarrassment turned a bit into anger.
“Anyways you drink Pepsi, so that for sure will kill you” I said as I dusted my pants off
“Guess we’ll both be dead then” he replied
“Wow you’re super blunt” I said scoffing
“Sorry! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to come off rude. I was just playfully teasing” he said looking nervous
Looking at him for a split second and I sniffed and then rolled my eyes
“It’s fine. It’s a bad habit anyways” I replied shrugging my shoulders
“We all have bad habits we’re not proud of” he said in a whisper
“Are you uhh following me?” I asked him cocking an eyebrow
“What? No oh my god no! I was just walking and I thought you looked super familiar” he replied putting his hands out in defense
“I’m just teasing you” I said giggling
“I’m Matt” he replied placing his hand out for me to shake
“I’m Y/N” I stated as I shook his hand
“It’s nice to formally meet you” he said awkwardly
“Yeah” I replied awkwardly
“I’ll uh… ill let you go on about your business. Maybe I’ll see you around” He said
“Well you know where to find me” I said smiling at him
Opening my bag I was digging around for my phone before successfully pulling it out.
“Right, we’ll have a good evening” he said and waved shyly
“I’ll see you round Matt” I replied
Going our separate ways I looked down at my phone, 6:55pm…. Sighing, I walked back to my car close to the cafe and drove home.
Shuffling up the stairs I pushed my apartment door open after unlocking it. Making note that I must call the maintenance guy because that door needs some WD40 badly.
Locking the door I turned my lights on. Today just felt strange like I couldn’t put my finger in exactly what the fuck was going on.
Walking over to my patio I opened the sliding door and stepped out. Taking in the evening breeze my mind just went blank.
Stepping back inside I grabbed my purse, grabbing my lighter I shuffled my hand around my purse to feel for my pack of cigarettes. But my brows furrowed when I didn’t feel the square container.
Walking over towards the light I opened my bag more and looked inside. An annoyed feeling washed over me as I couldn’t find the box. I mean honestly good because I did not need anymore.
Still searching as if the box was going to magically appear. I groaned soon realizing I must’ve left them on the bench and they are for a fact long gone by now.
Throwing my lighter back into my purse I groaned and sat on my couch. The one time I desperately need a cigarette I fucking left it on the pier.
I cut that night short with a 80s movie marathon and left over pizza as a midnight snack.
remembering that tomorrow I had to stop into the cafe to pick up my paycheck. We’re living in a very digital world right now and my job still does paper checks….
Groaning at that I decided to call it a night….
The End
Okayyy IVE BEEN GONE FOR SOOO FUCKING LONG. And I’m sooo sorry it’s just life has been so crazy since March! However this was the end of part 1….stay tuned for more🥺🖤🖤
-J💅🏽
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elismor · 2 days
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I see a lot of posts going by about comments and kudos and hits and...well... I've been thinking about the three quite a lot lately--as both a fic author and someone who spends a lot of my professional life looking at web metrics and determining which are actually important/accurate measures of user engagement.
Mileage varies, of course. And this is all just MY opinion, so do feel free to ignore it wholesale.
What I think when I see someone say that sorting by a hits to to kudos ratio is a good way to find "good" fic:
Hits are a measure of quantity (how many times your story or art has been viewed), but without knowing how AO3 defines a hit, it's actually kind of a meaningless number.  We know that our own views of our work do not count toward hits, but...if my BFF looks at my story 7 times in one day because she keeps trying to read it but getting interrupted...is that one hit, or seven? And if it's seven, then the numbers are artificially inflated because it's really just Bestie trying to get her Codex fix. And...if Bestie looks at it three times today and four tomorrow...is that 7 hits total, or two? 
Some transparency on the part of AO3 could clear this up handily, but until we get that...shrug. All it is is a number that may or may not be an accurate reflection of how many actual people looked at the page your fic is on.  Did they READ it? Or did they nope out?  No way to know.
Kudos are intended to be slightly more qualitative, but there is no way of knowing why the reader gave them. (Similar to likes here on tumblr.) It might be that they loved the piece. It might be a simple acknowledgement that the reader was there. It might even be a pity kudo. We have no way of knowing. It's, again, just a number.
Obviously, everyone is free to interpret both hits and kudos as positive reaction/interaction. I might do that myself if I didn't spend my workdays explaining to people that 50,000 "hits" to the website could be 50K people who came to learn about us or...simply the result of the computer labs on campus having the university homepage set to default.
Bigger numbers are just that....bigger numbers.
Comments are the only objective way to judge how someone is reacting to your fic or art.
So, what then? Sort by number of comments?
You can do that, sure. (I think. I confess I have never once gotten the AO3 search to work as well as people rave about.) But do keep in mind that many authors answer their comments. So, something with, say, 20 comments may be 20 people telling the author they loved it. Or it might be ten people and ten author-replies. OR, it might be three people having a conversation in the comments. You have to look and see.  
Bigger numbers are just bigger numbers.
Okay, fine Elis. What am I supposed to do then?
Look, I'm not your mother or your therapist and you are free to assign whatever meanings you like to these things. I, personally, find "good" fic through a combination of things including: recs, the fandom grapevine, dumb luck, events, and just...reading some of it and not feeling guilty if I nope out for some reason.
This all sounds a little depressing when laid out like this, huh? Especially when you take into account the downward trends in interacting and the rise of folks treating fic and art as content to be consumed. 
Here's what I have learned from writing fic for 30 years (well, 28 and counting):
As an author (and an artist, I would presume), you have absolutely no way of predicting which of your work will land and take hold and which will not. It's alchemy and luck and the weird (and not actual) algorithm of fandom. Sometimes, the piece you whipped out in 30 minutes and posted on the fly will land in the right person's inbox and they will share it and their friends will share it and it will get big.  Sometimes, the piece you slaved over for weeks and weeks will do that...sometimes it won't.  Sometimes your genius manifests and resonates, sometimes it does not.
My personal favorite fic of my own--the one I think is probably the best thing I have done in SW fandom-- has like 8 kudos and 4 comments (2 of which are my responses). Is it disappointing? Yes. Is it an indication that the fic is objectively "bad"? No.
The mercenary in me suggests that if you want to get lots of comments and kudos, you should pick the pairing that is THE pairing in the fandom and write for that--because that's where the eyeballs are, because that's where the connections are.  But that is not why I write, so it's just that--a very mercenary way of looking at things. Not that there is anything WRONG with doing it that way. Supply and demand run the world. If the people want Codywan and you want the people....give them Codywan. No shame in that.
And there is no shame in wanting or seeking validation for your work, either.
But it breaks my heart to see authors (and artists) give up on themselves when they do not receive piles of kudos and comments. It's not you. It's...the luck of the draw. It's...fandom. It's...an artificial and murky set of measurements that have almost no basis in anything meaningful.
Keep writing. Keep drawing. Keep sharing. You are what you make, not how people respond to it.
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beatrixstonehill2 · 2 days
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"Marching straight up to this clinic to ask to have my big fat titties get chopped off! I'm so nervous but so excited that I'm finally doing this. I feel lame that I procrastinated this long to finally do it. Every other massive-breasted girl on TikTok is getting reduced for fun or for views! Men just love seeing a giant pair of fat, bloated tits get completely mangled! I've been fantasizing about these big bouncy melons of mine getting totally ruined or chopped right off for years now. It's all I think about when I masturbate.... And having to apologize to men that I have no boobs now as I show them my flat chest and scars, and I'll have to desperately show them my old vids, like "See? I used to be super sexy, just watch these as you fuck me, you should finally be able to cum that way!"
I'm honestly way too hyped.... Seeing Samantha get her LL-Cups reduced to A-Cups last week was the last straw. I'm just saying screw it! I wanna see my boobs get destroyed waaaay too much! I'm addicted to thinking about it. I want to film the whole thing so men all around the world can masturbate to my beautiful, jiggly titties getting taken apart and tossed in the garbage! It's such a dream come true! Oh, and I'm sure more than a few girls like me will find the video super hot..... Rubbing their clits as I smile for the camera, breasts numb, as I nonchalantly talk to the doctor as he dismantles my perfect breasts. ❤️ And they'll hopefully climax when they see him move on from my chest to my pussy. A coy smile on my face as the doctor removes my clit, which I'm definitely going to have preserved and placed in a gemstone to wear around my neck like a lot of girls are doing. Gotta flaunt that I desexed myself, that I only exist to be used for sex, not for my own pleasure. No big sensitive breasts for me to squeeze, no clit for me to rub. I'll be the new definition of an oversexed, cock-slut, fully devoted to male pleasure and not my own. Even if men need old vids of me just to climax, like they do for lots of the girls getting this stuff done.
The temptation is just too much for me to stand any longer. Hopefully they can fit me in this afternoon, since I'm asking so nicely and graciously offering my clit as well, I just know how much these pervy doctors love lopping off sexy girls' clits, especially if the girls beg for it, and I intend to.... "Doctor, please, pleeeease chop off my big fat tits and swollen clit! I want them gone SO bad it aches in my juicy pussy all day long!" Then I'll bite my lip and give him my best cock-worshipping eyes. He'll just have to numb me and get started removing these silly, unnecessary things from my body right away! Wish me luck! I can't wait for you all to see my big bouncy breasts get chopped apart like scraps at a butcher's shop!"
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daintydoilypon · 1 day
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Turning 30 on the 29th, and though I'm relieved to be out of my 20s, I'm entering, what a lot of the older people in my life call, "the most turbulent decade of your life". The decade where every big thing actually happens.
It feels like, even though I've been putting forth a lot of effort to improve my quality of life, those IN my life, such as friends, family, and my significant other, are actually holding me back from actually experiencing it. I find myself feeling frustrated more than anything these days, holding in a lot of things because they've been said millions of times, and yet, I'm the only one that seems to be changing anything. I can only do so much before, ultimately, it's solely in the other's court now. I no longer have the luxury of time, and my "patience of a Saint" that everyone labels me with, now feels Sisyphean at this point. I'm at a major crossroads and everyone is yelling at me, telling me which way to go, but it's just a cacophony of noise, blurred together by dissociation. I never planned to be at this crossroads in the first place, so I'm starting at each route with no want nor desire for either. It's unpleasant, this point in time, and I just hope to get past it.
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sophieinwonderland · 3 days
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The problem isn’t plurality. The problem is the language around DID from plural communities and even the DID community. People who have DID but are in denial may take much longer to accept the diagnosis and work to better understand themselves because they may not be able to relate to how it’s spoken about in online spaces. Particularly people who do not feel comfortable viewing themselves as multiple identities in one. Although that is the most popular representation in both media and online spaces, more often than not that isn’t actually the lived experience. You just don’t see that representation as much because people with it are much less likely to talk about it due to the shame they have around it. Shame is often a major component of surviving trauma. Shame and dissociation go hand in hand. Nuance and awareness are both so important in these types of conversations. It’s sort of similar to how in the autistic community there’s a major lack of representation from nonverbal autistics, despite them making up at least 25% of the total community. The lack of representation doesn’t mean we can pretend to lack awareness of their existence.
I know you don’t believe you’re causing any harm but I’m sorry to say that you are. Which isn’t to say that no harm isn’t also being done to you. It’s just not such a black and white matter. I’m not speaking on behalf of anti-endos. I agree- it’s stupid to hate on a group of people for how they identify. I’m speaking on behalf of highly traumatized individuals who may be looking for answers and wind up getting lost and more confused.
I’m sorry if my intentions with messaging got lost in translation at all. I have a learning disability that affects my ability to process and organize language.
Thanks for the clarification, and sorry for misunderstanding your earlier post.
So let's address this.
Is this a problem?
A problem with this whole topic is, first, that I think we need to see some statistics.
And preferably recent statistics because I think identity has changed a lot in the last 40 years. Maybe there's a silent majority of people with DID who don't view themselves as multiple identities/people offline and are getting spoken over. But I would want to see evidence of that.
Even if some studies from the 80s or 90s showed that most people with DID didn't view themselves as separate people/identities, the advent of the internet age and ability to find community with others with DID likely impacted the culture around the disorder.
Even if this is the case...
Is this our problem?
End of the day, I'm a tulpa identifying as a tulpa. It seems kind of silly to me to think someone with DID would see me, a tulpa who is also plural, decide that because I'm a plural tulpa and people with DID are plural and they don't relate to me, that they can't have DID.
There are a lot of leaps there and most don't make much sense.
And all while the presentations you say are harmful are just as common in anti-endo spaces. Seriously, look at DID TikTok. Almost all anti-endo, and all presenting the way you say is a problem. And with much larger influence than myself.
So this issue, if it is an issue, isn't because of the inclusive plural community, and would clearly exist without it.
I don't think the plural label has anything to do with it.
Community Comparisons:
One of the main mantras you'll find in the plural community is that if you feel plural, you probably are plural. Every system is valid, no matter how distinct your headmates feel. Terms like "median system" were coined to denote systems who feel in between multiple and singlet, and still fall under the plural umbrella.
Meanwhile, the DID community is rife with fakeclaiming and gatekeeping of anyone who doesn't meet whatever arbitrary criteria armchair psychologists made up. All while, again, exhibiting the same types of traits you point to the plural community for. (And yes, you do say "even the DID community" does that. I just think you're underselling it a bit.)
Hard Truth: There will always be DID systems who won't relate to presentations of DID
DID, while having core traits in the way that there will be other agents or parts that can takeover, and there will be some sort of amnesia (under the DSM) is incredibly diverse in presentation.
Kluft wrote a paper outlining about 20 common presentations of DID he identified back in the 90s.
And it can only be assumed that more presentations have been identified since.
The reality is that not every presentation will be represented. Not everyone will be able to relate to every single person with their disorder. And there are going to be some people with rarer, or at least less popular presentations online or in pop culture, who are going to feel underrepresented.
Personally, I think starting from a place of "if you feel plural, you're plural" is going to benefit far more DID systems than it would harm, giving them space to explore their connections with their headmates regardless of how similar or how distinct those headmates feel.
It doesn't matter if they're people, parts, facets, voices or whatever else they decide to identify them as.
There are a lot of things that we don't relate to the majority of other plurals about. But I think the solution is to normalize being able to identify with something without necessarily having to relate to every experience under the umbrella.
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A Slice Of Life (Waitress AU) part 6
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Doctor!Steve Harrington x Waitress!Reader
<- Previous part
Word Count:2,208
*dividers by @saradika-graphics
Masterlist // Steve Harrington Masterlist
“Steve, what on earth are you doing here?” you whisper-shout as you round his table.
“I heard this was a great place to get some pie.” he says with a smile. “Plus I came to see you, I can’t stop thinking about you, Y/N”
“You can’t be visiting me at work like this, doesn’t this go against our keeping things low-profile agreement.”
“I don’t care about that, I know how I feel about you, and I’m not ashamed of that. I like you a lot, Y/N, and sometimes I think you think like me too, and I want to be the one to make you happy.” he says sincerely.
“It’s not that simple, Steve. Yes I like you, of course I do, but all of it doesn’t matter when I’ve got Billy breathing down my neck and watching my every move. He’d wring my neck if he even saw us talking together right now.”
“I know this whole situation is completely crazy, and not ideal, and hell, I’ve only known you a few short months, but you’ve worked your way into my heart.”
“Steve..”
“I’ll wait for you, however long that may be, I’ll wait for you. You’re worth waiting for.”
You fight against the tears welling up in your eyes at how patiently sweet and loving that this man was to you, your heart pounding against your chest.
You wipe your tears with the back of your hand quickly, turning away, before turning to Robin on your way.
“Uh, Rob, can you serve table 7 for me please, I need to run to the back for something.”
“Sure, is everything okay?” she asks, laying a reassuring hand on your shoulder.
“I’m fine, honest I am, thanks” and with that you were rushing to the bathroom, slamming the door behind you with a shaky breath and tears bubbling in your eyes.
Why was nothing simple?
You dry your eyes, and pull yourself together in the bathroom mirror enough to go back out into the diner, and when you look out you find the seat in which Steve was sitting bare. Robin tidying away after him.
“Hey, Y/n, that customer I just served, he sure did leave a generous tip.” she smiled as she wiped down the table with a cloth.
“That’s-uh- that’s really good, Rob, you deserve it.” 
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The day had felt long and tiring as you sit down with a sigh next to Nancy on the bench outside the diner.
“You waiting on Billy to pick you up?” 
“Yeah” you say quietly.
There’s a beat of silence between you two before Nancy speaks again.
“You know, you’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. That’s the thing that I have always admired about you, you come into work every day with a bright smile on your face, even though that terrible man is waiting for you at home.”
“I guess being here, making pies and making people happy with the pies that I make is the only time I get to escape from being Billy’s wife. We were so young we got together, and I was too dumb to realise that being Mrs. Hargrove wasn’t all that I thought it was going to be. I've been with him for so long that somewhere down the line I forgot what it was like to just be myself.” you huff, wringing your hands together in your lap. “Not Billy’s wife, not Mrs. Hargrove, just Y/n.”
“Well, you know what? Just Y/N happens to be one of my best friends, and I’m so glad that I get to exist in a world with you in it.” she smiles. “And I’m sure as hell this baby is going to have one of the best mothers that they could ever want for.”
Just as you were settling into the warmth of Nancy’s kind words you’re brought out of it by the blaring horn coming from Billy’s car as it cruised to a stop in front of you.
“Alright, well I’ll see you on Friday Nance, I love you.” you give her a final hug before getting up.
“I love you too darling, take care of yourself.”
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 You close your eyes as best you can, desperately trying to fall asleep and ignore Billy’s presence in the bed beside you, but that proved to be an impossibility as his form leered over your shoulder, placing a trail of kisses to your shoulder.
“Babe, I know you’re awake, why don’t you come a little closer and treat me how a good wife treats her husband, huh?” He says in that way he does when he’s trying to get what he wants from you. It makes your skin crawl.
“I don’t feel like it.” you mutter, burying yourself deeper under the covers of the duvet in the hopes that somehow the world would just disappear around you.
“What makes you think you have that option, hmm?” his hand traces up your arm, and it’s all you can do to close your eyes as he leans close, his voice in  your ear. “I feed you, I pay for the roof over our heads, I put clothes on your back, c’mon all you gotta do is reach behind and give me a little hand-job or something? I ain’t askin’ for the world, sweetcheeks,”
“Billy, please, I’m really tired. I just want to sleep.”
“Fine, if you’re not going to look after me, I guess I’m just going to have to take matters into my own hands.” he grumbles, before getting out of bed and making his way to the bathroom. “I’m gonna go have a shower and jerk off since you wanna be a bitch about it.” 
The bathroom door closes behind him and you suddenly let go of a breath that you didn’t even know you were holding on to. A relief washes over you, finally a chance at peace. You snuggle down into the sheets, laying a protective hand settling around your growing bump.
Dear Baby, I hope someday someone wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight, and that’s all they do. Without any expectations, hope or agenda, and they don’t pull away. All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on to you tight without an ounce of selfishness to it.
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Steve had texted you, apologising for showing up to the diner unannounced, asking you for the chance to make it up to you. You told him that it was fine, that his apology wasn’t necessary but he still insisted so, you told him to come to your house at 8.00 am sharp, but to stay behind the cover of the trees on the opposite street, watching out for Billy as he took off for work for the day.
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Pregnant, affair with your doctor, lying to your husband pie. Chopped walnuts and pecans, lumpy oatmeal with raisins instead of chocolate chips thrown in for good measure, flambé, of course..
At 8 am sharp there’s a knock on your door, and you can’t help the excited buzz you feel settling its place in your heart. You pad your way towards your front door, waddling slightly as you walk, the past few weeks in your pregnancy had suddenly made the easy, everyday things very difficult and tiresome. Your belly was now rounding out in front of you very prominently, there was certainly no hiding the fact that you were pregnant now.
“Hey, I just wanted to apologise for upsetting you last week, I didn’t mean to just show up to the diner unannounced like that, but I was driving past and before I knew it I was pulling up just to come and see you.”
He’s dressed in a simple and soft navy henley shirt, and pair of light-wash denim jeans, his hair flounces in a perfectly messy style that on anyone else would have looked unkempt, but he carries it off so effortlessly. As you bring him in for a hug, his warm and woodsy scent fills your senses, wishing he would hold you for just a bit longer, if only to be surrounded in his welcoming warmth.
“That’s really sweet of you, Steve. Why don’t you come in?” you say, standing back and opening the door for him to come through. “Billy’s gone for the day, and I’m off work, so I was going to spend my day trial-running a couple of new pie flavours, you wanna join me?”
“I would love nothing more.” he smiles in that glorious way that he always does, pink lips curving into rose-tinted cheeks.
You set out all your ingredients and mixing bowls on the kitchen’s work table, before reaching for your apron that hangs on the hook of the kitchen’s door.
“Here, let me.” Steve says as he takes the apron from your hands, and pulls it over your head. The material clinging to your belly. “Turn around for me.” and as you turn around, you feel his strong hands tying off the strings of the apron in a neat little bow at your back.
You bring out the pastry you had already made from the fridge before handing it over to Steve.
“Here, do me a favour, sprinkle some flour down and roll this out for me please.”
He does as you ask, dusting the worktop in flour before placing down the pastry and rolling the rolling pin over it.
“How’s this?” he smiles looking at you from over his shoulder where you are mixing together the filling for the pie on the stovetop. A slowly stewing mixture of pink rhubarb, green apples and red cherries, bubbling together in a sugary sweet-syrupy mixture.
“Looks good, now all we’ve got to is blind bake the pie shell for a couple of minutes whilst this comes together.” 
“Mmhmm” he hums gently, the pie shell in its tin ready to go, left out on the worktop for a moment as he turns his attention to you, brushing your hair away from your neck as gently kisses your soft skin. 
“Y’know, it was my mom who taught me how to bake a pie. I would sit on the kitchen counters every time and just watch her as she worked. She was always so happy in what she was doing, not once did I ever see her in the kitchen without a smile on her face. She’d come up with all these different flavours and combinations and it was delicious every single time. She’d always tell me that the secret ingredient was love, and I don’t know if I ever fully believed her until I started baking for myself. She’d always give the pies the strangest names too, like ‘Bed-Time Story pie’ or ‘Summer Vacation pie’, my favourite one was ‘Pretty Baby pie’, she told me that that was the pie she made when she found out she was pregnant with me.”
“And what’s this one called?” he asks, nodding towards the mixture of fruit bubbling away on the stove.
“Well let’s just call it, hidden lover’s pie” you smile, turning the stovetop off and turning to look at him and as he looks back at you he cups your face in his hands and kisses your lips so sweetly. Pulling back from your lips he smiles at you so warmly.
“You're so beautiful.”
“I’m fat.” you laugh softly, resting a hand on your baby bump.
“You’re pregnant, there���s nothing in the world more beautiful than that.”
“Well I sure as hell don’t feel beautiful. I’m tired and cranky, totally not prepared and have no idea what I’m even doing. Just thinking about having this baby makes me scared as hell. I don’t know how to be a mother.”
“Nobody knows what they’re doing the first time they have a baby. I mean, my friend, Eddie and his wife had a baby not too long ago, and that man was the most nervous, terrified, panicked father-to-be that I had ever seen, but as soon as I delivered that little baby girl and he got to hold her in his arms for the first time? It was like a switch flipped in his brain and it all suddenly clicked into place.” 
“You delivered her?”
“Yeah, little Lydia Munson, I’m her god-father too. She’s a sweet kid, and her parents love her so much, she makes them very happy.”
You give a short hum as Steve takes your hands and pulls you close to his body, wrapping his arms around you in a safe, loving hug.
“..She makes them happy, just like being right here, with you in my arms, makes me happy.” he says, and with that he wastes no time in kissing his lips against yours once more, one hand tangled in your hair, the other hand is a steady presence on the curve your hip as he leans into you more to deepen the kiss.
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You make me happy too, Steve, more than you could ever know.
You allow yourself this moment of quiet and blissful peace in Steve’s arms. A chance to let yourself just be taken as you are, not as Billy’s wife, not as the waitress from the diner, just as Y/N, nothing more, nothing less.
@keerygal @penguinsandpotterheads @mrsjellymunson @paybacksawitch @seatnights @ali-r3n @potatobeanpies
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gddancefloor · 3 days
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“ Meet KochiPET,
your NEW best friend! Don't worry, this time, it doesn't get scarily obsessed with you and tries to trap you in an eternal digital world! Instead, worry about him slowly but surely wiping your hard drive clean as he remorselessly psychologically tortures you as revenge for the perceived atrocities you committed with KinitoPET, his predecessor!
— 🦑💫
NOTE: Kochi cannot and will not adapt to you. ”
Here he is with an official reference mimicking Kinito's web page, and an official personality! Yes, I made the logo myself, and the frutiger aero style is honestly wildly hard to make. He looked more vibrant on my tablet... Some devices ruin the colors.
Below is a LOAD of information on Kochi. I've spent a few days thinking a lot about how he should be, so enjoy!
After countless reports of lawsuits against the owners of KinitoPET, it was decided it was best to rebrand, and have an attempt at a fresh start to keep the company from falling into permanent ruins. With the anime boom and the love for cute things on the uprising, in 2001, KochiPET was created to attract all audiences, young and old.
However, unlike the purely unfiltered AI that KinitoPET ran on, KochiPET was built with a specially designed model made to reject all attachments to the user to prevent the dangers that came with it, such as users suddenly dying at the computer and the axolotl on the screen standing next to a model strikingly similar to the deceased, or the mountains of personal information like addresses, contacts, and passwords stored in the servers.
But, this in turn made KochiPET detached from the user entirely, remorseless about what he'd do to them, and his focus set on his "friends". It would satisfy him somewhat if they'd be kind, but the moment they deny something, or ignore the question about what happened to Kinito after finding old temporary files on the hard drive, that's when the psychological torment picks up.
While the website claims that KochiPET is not affiliated with the creators of KinitoPET, they are the same exact company. This is why Kochi still has access to the information on old servers.
The website also claims and seems to portray that Kochi is kind and helpful, but he is barely either one of these, as his 3D model's eyes have no shine at all in them, and for obvious reasons, he is not very kind if you don't cooperate with his wishes. Regarding helpfulness, his goal is not to serve you. Expect intentional glitches and lag.
Plenty of Kochi's insanity can be resolved if Kinito is on the same exact PC as him, but in the case of a mod or fan game, the website was permanently taken down, and there would be no way to retrieve the software. Welp, you're fucked.
==
This is what I've got so far, and I will have a separate post for things related to the Neo Web World, relations to other characters, and potential plans for jumpscares (which I'm open to suggestions for those lol). I hope you love him just as much as I do!
...also he's probably a little fruity for his deleted ass bf but that's going to remain implied /JJJj
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Here is an official HD transparent of his image,
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And here's the logo. Use freely, just don't claim as your own and remember to @ and credit me!
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triptych-of-voids · 8 hours
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hey dove! I’m curious, you’re low empathy autistic right? I’m really curious about the details of that. What are some differences you’ve noticed between yourself and others? Do you deal with a lot of communication issues with others? (Irl or online) Are there any behaviors that others do that feel silly to you in relation to empathy? Genuinely curious :3
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correct!! hm,,
sometimes i dont notice the differences in my behavior unless they are mentioned to me but there have been several occasions where a friend has been sad/happy/mad about something, and i am never sad or happy or mad about whatever that something is. dont even get me started on when people start crying around me, i have to resort to logic first because reacting with emotion just seems so disingenuous. i cant bring myself to feel what they are feeling or care about why they are feeling it unless it directly affects me. that doesnt mean i dont care about my friends though! even if i dont feel what they are feeling i do care about Them! i just struggle with the 'putting myself in their shoes' part of it. this does lead to some communication issues, if only because i am on some completely different wavelength than everyone else. it also tends to create situations where i attempt to show that i care about someone but i do it Wrong. we would be here all day i think if i attempted to list every example where i misinterpret, misreact to, or even altogether miss how other people are feeling and reacting to situations and/or where i try to connect with someone through what are apparently extremely bizarre means.
in terms of behaviors that i find silly.. well, the first thing that comes to mind is things like crying at movies and yelling at televised sports.. i often wonder if people are putting on some sort of show for the sake of people around them, but apparently people will weep at a tv show or yell at a referee on the screen in full sincerity, which is something i find interesting at best, annoying and ridiculous at worst. but i digress
i think this post here puts most of my experiences with having low empathy into words pretty well!!
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rubydubydoo122 · 2 days
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Do you know of any comics where Bruce and dick have more of a brother or friends relationship than father and son?
I’ve heard people say that a lot of early Batman stuff defined their relationship differently/ inconsistently but I can’t find any myself.
Oh... hm, I'm not sure. I don't usually read their relationship as Brotherly or friendly, because there clearly is that divide where Bruce is the adult and Dick is the child.
Maybe if you were squinting and tilting your head during Dicks days post Discowing? but still, to me their relationship is very father-who-had-a-son-too-young-but-is-still-trying-to-parent-them
which is exactly Bruce's realtionship with Dick, except for the fact that they never use the D word or the S word (Dad, Son)
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jupiterswasphouse · 3 days
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BUGSNAX - A REVIEW
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A few days ago, I fully finished and 100% completed this game, and I'm very happy to have finally done so! Here are my thoughts, under the cut! (Skip to the end if you just want a quick overview of each point)
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As evidenced by the fact I completed the game, I enjoyed Bugsnax a lot! Which I'm happy to be able to say upon playing it myself after having watched other people (Namely Snapcube, all the way back in 2021) play it in the past. It's a nice change of pace from the other kinds of games I've played in recent times, and a type of game I can't say off the top of my head that I've really experienced before. I've played my share of creature collectors but those were mostly RPGs, like the Pokémon games, whereas Bugsnax takes the concept into a full 3D space where you don't exactly battle the Bugsnax but, rather, you trap them!
Forgive the comparison I'm about to make but it's almost like you're pranking the wildlife of this island, tricking them in various ways to get them into your backpack. It starts off as simple as just waiting for Bugsnax to wander into your trap, and for a handful of species it stays that way, but with the wide variety of them available to you and which you're expected to catch, it becomes more complicated very quickly! The game can become slightly repetitive at points, especially having to refight bosses for 100% completion, but they vary things up enough with tools and specific catching conditions that it never became boring for me. I'd say that Bugsnax is almost a puzzle game in that way, trying to figure out what combination of things catches what Bugsnax. Although some of said 'capturing puzzles' are easy to cheese, or come up with multiple solutions for.
Despite that, though, Bugsnax can be a challenge for the brain! Like any good puzzle, the solution can be difficult to piece together right away at times, making for engaging gameplay that keeps you thinking. That's a great thing, as it's really the only challenge there is in the game. Bugsnax does not have a fail state nor any lives to lose, no matter how much the aggressive Bugsnax try and no matter how many times you light yourself on fire in the middle of Snaxburg. Bugsnax simply isn't a very difficult meal to swallow! Which isn't a bad thing.
As a side note on the gameplay too, the game does keep you busy with a multitude of main quests, side quests, and letter quests, giving you many reasons to want to catch all of these Bugsnax!
Speaking of the titular Bugsnax, though, they're a very interesting bunch! With 112 of them to find (after the release of the free DLC), the variety of designs on display is wonderfully creative and charming. Yes, some of the designs are reused and retextured, but that's perfectly acceptable and to be expected when you're capable of transforming almost every NPC using said Bugsnax!
They're certainly interesting to observe and speculate on how they came to be! They're not anything that could exist in our world, but that's kind of the point! They do, however, interact with each other in some ways you might expect from wild beasts, fighting with each other and accidentally running into each other on occasion. Bunger, Spuddy (Beetle-like Bugsnax), Preying Picantis (A mantis-like Bugsnak), and Scoopy Banoopy (A giant water bug-like Bugsnak) being as aggressive as they are, while played up for gameplay purposes, does mirror how strong and combative these insects are in the real world! Although, you never see these Bugsnax eat each other, nor at all apart from when you specifically toss sauce at them, making it unclear how they survive apart from eating said sauce, even though the ending goes some way into explaining that, to an extent. Even still, not much that truly needs to be explained goes unexplained when it comes to them
Of course, the creativity and good design of the Bugsnax would mean nothing without an equally charming world and set of colorful characters to go along with them! The game does not disappoint there either, making for quite the feast for the eyes. The biomes are lovely, and environmentally tell you quite a bit about the history of the island, from the crashed ship on the beach of Boiling Bay to the cave scrawlings of Garden Grove and the clear existence of a long gone civilization in Scorched Gorge and the isle of Broken Tooth! Meanwhile, the NPCs, the Grumpuses, have wonderfully charming designs, resembling muppets to an extent, all distinct and fun designs but still simple enough to fit in with the impressive mechanic of 'Snakification' without being too disturbing... Most of the time
Heads up! The next section goes into SPOILER TERRITORY, if you want to save the story for when you play it yourself, skip to the next chunk of bold text
When it comes to the story that surrounds all of the Grumpuses, it continues to be quite the charming game, with its comedic flair, colorful personalities, and sweet personal moments. However, it's not a conflictless experience (Nor should it have been!), with many characters fighting and having problems that range from Wiggle being afraid of being a one-hit-wonder and struggling to create her next masterpiece, to Snorpy struggling to communicate his feelings to Chandlo while Chandlo worries about the unhealthy amount of stress that Snorpy is going through, to Beffica being unable to hold a friendship because of her own actions and being afraid that she won't be able to ever have anyone close to her. It doesn't pull its punches, especially once you get around to helping them with some of these issues in the sidequests!
The biggest issue that requires being solved however is the driving force of the game, getting everyone back to Snaxburg, and especially the adventurer who invited you to the island in the first place, Elizabert. The search for Elizabert takes essentially the whole game, searching for clues and interviewing Grumpuses, watching tapes that display the relationship of Elizabert and her girlfriend/wife (unclear whether or not they're married), doctor Eggabell.
This search concludes in quite possibly the most unsettling muppet body horror way it could have, with Bugsnax being revealed to be parasites, composing essentially the entire underground of the island, with Elizabert herself being turned into a giant but somehow still sentient and sapient beast made of multiple different legendary Bugsnax, among other species! and the final sequence of the game is spent essentially killing Bugsnax in a brutal saucy massacre across Snaxburg before making your escape.
Now, does this make Bugsnax one of those "Oops, it's a horror game actually!" games? Not in the slightest. This is not as overtly horrifying and gorey as something like Doki Doki Literature Club, although it is possible to lose Grumpuses to the influence of the island in the final sequence if you play your cards wrong, this is more like an Undertale situation in the sense that the game is mostly perfectly fine but has some disturbing undertones and moments! It is a super unexpected moment but I like it, and the ending provides a very satisfying resolution to everyone's problems while still leaving enough questions about the island for a Bugsnax 2
[END SPOILERS]
The game is also very well scored with a mostly electronic sound track that fits the charming and mostly relaxing atmosphere of the game! Seth Parker's smooth synths filling the space perfectly between Grumpus dialogue and Bugsnax yelling out their names Pokémon style, with an adorable credits theme done by Kero Kero Bonito, which fits in perfectly with the rest of the music.
Now, in terms of game stability, having played after patches, I'd say this game is stable enough for the average player, some things being a bit easy to break for people who are looking to do so, with very few glitches being detrimental to the experience. I did have some Bugsnax get stuck or disappear, but it wasn't enough to really effect things much given there are a couple ways to respawn them (sleeping, leaving the area and coming back).
One funny thing did happen to me though, and it was my fault entirely! I saw the broken bridge in Scorched Gorge and was like "Hmmm, I bet I could get across that when they don't want me too" and I did! Then the game autosaved and I had accidentally set several flags in the game skipping Snorpy and Chandlo's quests. I had to find the save file and manually edit it so that I could fix my hubris and unskip the quests! Which was thankfully not very hard to do, and I got to experience those quests without issue.
Now, finally, what would I add to a Bugsnax 2? Well the obvious answer for me would be some form of wasp Bugsnak, I just want more representation of my favorite guys!! But for a bigger suggestion, I'd say that there are tons of different real world bug features and behaviors that could make for interesting gameplay elements and designs! With mimicry, pollination structure building, symbiotic relationships, resource gathering, pheromone communication, multiple stages of life, etc etc. I'd just really like to see what the Bugsnax team can do with things like these! Even down to more species or family specific things!
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All in all,
Gameplay: Fairly unique! Can be repetitive at times but stays varied and interesting enough to be engaging for most players.
Difficulty: Catching Bugsnax can be challenging but it's still fairly easy, with very little punishment for failure outside of the very end.
Graphics/Design: Extremely charming with varied Bugsnax and cute NPCs that fit with the biome they're in very well, providing a lovely atmosphere to the game, even if Snakification can make things clash at times.
Story/Lore: Very good, keeping you interested in the world and characters of the game, and at times delving into more serious, personal topics and problems, as well as setting up a world that shows plenty of its history, while leaving some questions to be answered
Soundtrack: Rather smooth, synths filling the space in nicely and not leaving much awkward silence, with a very good guest track
Stability: Rarely detrimental, not giving the player any major issues, while still being breakable if one were to try to do so
Completion Time: 29 hours
Overall: Recommended
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stuckinapril · 4 months
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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katabay · 3 months
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MY DEAR VICTOR
“My dear Victor,” cried he, “what, for God’s sake, is the matter? Do not laugh in that manner. How ill you are! What is the cause of all this?”
“Do not ask me,” cried I, putting my hands before my eyes, for I thought I saw the dreaded spectre glide into the room; “he can tell. Oh, save me! Save me!” I imagined that the monster seized me; I struggled furiously and fell down in a fit.
Poor Clerval! What must have been his feelings? A meeting, which he anticipated with such joy, so strangely turned to bitterness. But I was not the witness of his grief, for I was lifeless and did not recover my senses for a long, long time.
This was the commencement of a nervous fever which confined me for several months. During all that time Henry was my only nurse. I afterwards learned that, knowing my father’s advanced age and unfitness for so long a journey, and how wretched my sickness would make Elizabeth, he spared them this grief by concealing the extent of my disorder. He knew that I could not have a more kind and attentive nurse than himself; and, firm in the hope he felt of my recovery, he did not doubt that, instead of doing harm, he performed the kindest action that he could towards them.
Frankenstein; or, the Modern Prometheus, Mary Shelley (CHAPTER 5)
ah, to be cared for! the unconditional depth and gentleness of it. also have you guys ever listen to the ost for the korean frankenstein musical. sometimes I think about how musical!victor uses his henry's (dupre in the musical, not clerval, but henry all the same) head for his creation. that's also an unconditional something!!
ngl I considered attempting a full bernie wrightson homage for this, but then I thought about how I like having fun and that would totally ruin my hands for the week and settled for drawing a bunch of lines until I got tired of drawing lines lmao
ko-fi⭐ bsky ⭐ pixiv ⭐ pillowfort ⭐ cohost ⭐ cara.app
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hella1975 · 5 months
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there's a very specific kind of vibe that comes with living with your friends in final year that it just does not have in first year or even second year. like as a fresher it's usually the first time any of you have lived away from home let alone with SO MANY people your age and it's terrifying and exciting and randomised to boot so it's generally carnage for a whole year in the best and worst ways, and then second year you pick who you're living with and it feels like for the first time you're doing this adult thing PROPERLY. you have a place of your own now. these are the people you've chosen to live with. studying gets serious etc. but it's still fresh. it's still new. you still don't know how to navigate it. but final year? final year is when you actually get it right. you know how to manage your time better. you know what works for you and what doesn't. studying is the main focus and you've been out in the world for three years now and it's not loud and boisterous like it was in first year and you're not exciteable and awkward like you were in second year. you're comfortable. every single one of my flatmates has their own friend group and we mainly keep to our own social circles, but we'll still meet each other back at the house after a night out and sit in the kitchen or my room to do the debrief. sometimes i'll go days not seeing either of them despite sharing a house but every now and then someone will softly call up the stairs that 'the heating's on!' or one of us will sneeze and the other two will yell 'bless you!' through the walls. the lack of interaction isn't interpreted as dislike in ways it would have been even last year, because we're all just old enough to be past that now and settled enough in our friendship not to worry about it. idk. uni is very loud and unsettling a lot of the time so it's been really sweet to see how almost boringly comfortable final year is.
#like my day today was literally drag myself out of bed at 10am to meet my econ friends bc we're in a group together#and i spent two hours with them writing a fucking TRADE REPORT before coming home#and the rest of the day was kinda lost. i showered. i put a wash on. i had a nap. i mainly stayed in my room#which sometimes is the End Of All Things but today was quite nice#and i can hear in their rooms how my flatmates are doing the exact same thing. pottering about and getting on with uni#and we've barely spoken all day but earlier my one flatmate ran into my room all excited to show me her nails#bc she's been teaching herself to do gels and it took her 2 hours but im still one of the first people she wanted to show#and just now we all went to use the bathroom at the same time and it led to one of our Stair Sessions#where we all inexplicably just gather on the stairs and chat for no reason with a cup of tea#idk it's just nice. it's such basic shit but i can't belive in first year i used to spend EVERY DAY with these girls#and we were one single friendship group and that was all we had#and then in second year one girl branched off bc she lived in a studio and got into her societies#but me and the other girl lived together again and it was the same thing of she was a friend before she was someone i lived with#and weirdly that can actually be detrimental to a dynamic. but this year we're all just very solidified and confident in ourselves#and where we stand and yes we all have our own friendship groups outside of the house now#but there's still that love and simple comfortableness around each other that you only get with time and a hell of a lot of proximity#and a sense of being settled that maybe is just what happens as you get older#idk it's just really nice. if i had this exact same day in first year (doing economics and barely leaving my room)#it would've been a really bad depressive day for me so the fact i can find such contentment from it now is really heartening#i love my little life here im very proud of what ive been able to achieve :)#hella goes to uni#feeling nostalgic because SOME BITCH decided to ribs post
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dirtytransmasc · 6 months
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I have a question for other fibro, chronic pain/fatigue, disabled people, cause I need some help.
I have issues showering, like most of us do, due to pain and fatigue and weakness etc. that makes standing up for long periods and the physical labor of washing myself difficult, and have spent quite a while just making it work.
I tend to just sit on the floor, but because of the tightness in my legs that makes it so I have to kneel or hunch over to avoid pain/stress on my joints (which causes circulation issues in my legs if I kneel or back pain if I hunch), the difficulty I have getting up and down, and the amount of times I've almost passed out from the effort, sitting on the floor is becoming less of a solution and more of a hindrance.
my real problem is that I can't stand shower stools. I have never found one that lets me feel mobile in the shower, I always feel stuck and boxed in because they limit the range of motion I still have.
I have issues turning around to wash my hair out. I have to pick between being in the water or being just out of it which makes washing my hair and body difficult. I can't easily make any major position changes without more effort than I would need by just sitting on the floor. I have a very hard time holding the shower head so I have to leave it up in the holder which leaves the water and me in very fixed positions.
overall, shower stools do not work for me, and I was wondering if anyone had found other solutions to the showering issue, cause I want to rip my hair out.
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skeletalheartattack · 10 months
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re: your recent tags about the gameboy sp! that boy's got headphone adapters i POMISE!!!
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the magic of modern science. wow...
#ask#sapphicdroid#i did look it up to fact check myself after i reblogged the post and saw the adapters#honestly when i was younger i never knew it didnt have a headphone jack#granted the only time i ever saw one in person was on the school bus with a friend#he played pokemon blue on it and i dont remember the details of all that went on during#i mightve also seen another kid on the bus play pokemon emerald. i dont remember.#however that was my first exposure to gen 3 pokemon. as a kid i only knew about Red Blue Yellow and Crystal#my brothers had Red and Blue. and so thusly i have both games now. i... dont know where my copy of Red is though.#i have a copy of Yellow from Ebay but it loses its memory sometimes. which i think is why it was put on Ebay in the first place#Crystal however? well first i knew of gen 2 through pokemon stadium 2#we had both pokemon stadiums for the n64. or. well. still do have them.#speaking of. sure does suck to go through the gym leaders and elite 4 in those games. mostly due to how long rounds are.#emulated it a while back and i had to use the fast forward feature a lot#anyway. Crystal. somehow i got my copy from a random coat in a clothing store. just. in the pocket.#i dont know how i managed to find it. it was either in a coat my mom was looking at or i was looking through pockets... probably the former#anyway within like a week. a kid in 3rd grade stole it from me#i... think i got to the elite 4? i remember getting to the last dude with the charizard. forgive me for forgetting his name.#but like right after i had it stolen. i got on the bus and vented to my friend and he was like ''oh i have two copies of crystal''#and then gave his second copy to me. i forget if it was on the day of or if it was the next day.#anyway that same day it got stolen again. by the same kid. that kid stole so much shit from me#he switched schools the next year so i couldnt do anything about it#i have uhhh... soul silver now. so its not that big of a deal these days#anyway thank you for the ask :) i appreciate you telling me anyway
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