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#where i dont want to wake up in the mornings
homestylehughes · 1 day
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reading interruptions
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pairing(s): quinn hughes x fem!reader
summary: when yn gets interrupted by quinn and his dirty mouth, while reading on the boat.
warning(s): plot with porn, smut 18+, oral fem!receiving, dirty talk, cussing. quinn has a dirty mouth in this. fluff, cute reader and quinn.
wc: 2.8k
an: hiiiii!!! new quinn ficcccc. i will never leave my quinn era. ever. recently ive been in a summer mood, first with sundresses and now with boats idk whats going on LOL. i honestly dont know where this idea came from, and for some reason i think it's bad? idk maybe ive just been looking at it too long i couldnt tell you LOL. so let me know if you guys like it or not. anyways!! i'll stop yapping now. i hope you guys enjoyyyy, like and reblog if you do! as always much love <3
happy reading <3
The morning sun comes through the window, peeking through everglow slightly illuminating the room, casting a light glow over the walls and a sleeping quinn. Quinns body lays partially over mine, our legs intertwined together. his face nuzzled into my neck, soft snores leave his mouth as he sleeps soundly against me.
There weren't many days where I'd wake up before Quinn, his schedule keeping and waking him up at the early hours of the day. Ever since the hockey season ended in a heartbreaking loss in the playoffs, he'd been sleeping more, getting the much deserved rest he’s needed. Quinn wanted away from hockey, from Vancouver, so he decided heading to the lake house earlier than usual to get away from everyone would be the fix. 
Which leads us to the position we're in now, my hands moving slowly up and down his back as he still sleeps soundly against me. Quinn always looks the most peaceful when he’s sleeping, so at peace and calm.
I feel quinns body shift slightly besides me, feeling him roll away from me, my body already feeling cold without his warmth beside me. I sit up in the bed, watching Quinn stretch and yawn himself awake, rubbing his eyes like a little kid before he turns to me with a soft smile on his face.
“Good morning” he says, his voice thick with sleep. 
“Good morning handsome” I smile back “sleep well?” 
“Mhm” he mumbles out as he makes his way to me from across the bed, grabbing my thighs pulling me on top of him. 
“Hi” i giggle from above him 
“Hi baby” he grins at me, his hands finding my neck pulling me down into a sweet kiss. My hands lay flat against his chest as I melt into the kiss. After a few moments I pull away to catch my breath, and to get a better look at him. The glow of the sun now being at its brightest, covering most of the room. Highlighting Quinn's body, his golden brown locks and blue eyes shining brightly in the glow. 
“You look so pretty” I say, as I bring my hands to his cheeks, running my fingers over his jaw, over every scar. Tracing and taking in everything part of him, memorizing every line like I've never seen them before. Quinn blushes at my complement, nuzzling his face into my hand, a smile breaking through on his features as he does so.
“Thank you baby” he says, bringing his head back to lay against the pillow looking back at me. “What do you want to do today?” his hands running across my bare thighs, his touch spreading warmth throughout my body. 
“Could we go on the boat?” i ask
“Is that what you want to do?” he asks me again.
“Mhm, yes. I even brought a new book to read to you, just for this, " I say with a smile.
 Quinn loves when i read to him, the peaceful feeling of being on the boat, the waves flowing beneath would be the perfect setting. 
“Alright you've convinced me, maybe we could even have lunch on the boat too? If you're up for that?” 
“That's fine with me, just want to be around you” I say before dropping my head into his neck, breathing in his scent, his arms circling around my waist pulling my body flush against his. 
“Okay baby” he says into my hair
 “Okay come on, let's get up. '' I said, lifting myself from him, patting his chest before swinging my legs off of him getting out of bed.
“I'm cominggggg” Quinn says from the bed, as I make my way to the bathroom, turning back around to see him lying face down in the middle of the bed, his arms and legs fanning out across the bed. 
Giggles rip through my body as I look at his childlike state, shaking my head as I take another glance at him before turning around heading to the bathroom to start getting ready for my day.
Taking a quick shower, throwing on a random swimsuit, before heading down stairs to start making lunch for myself and Quinn to take on the boat. 
Deciding on sandwiches and chips, with some fruit would be the best option for lunch. Just as I'm packing everything up I see Quinn coming down the stairs, in a pair of black swim trunks and a Canucks shirt. 
'What did you pack for lunch?’ he asks, pressing a kiss to the side of my head, walking behind me to the fridge to grab bottles of water before turning back the counter, putting the bottles of water in the cooler.
“Sandwiches, chips and fruit, is that okay with you?” I say as I place the food into the cooler along with the water, closing the top before looking up at quinn. 
“Yeah that's fine with me baby, perfect” he says leaning in for a quick kiss
“Do you have everything you need?” he says while grabbing the cooler from the counter walking towards the back door
“Yes I think so, let me go grab my bag from the couch then I'm ready” I say smiling at him, making my way to the living room grabbing my bag that has my book, sunglasses and other things in it, pulling it over my shoulder before following Quinn out the back door.
Following him down the dock towards the boat, reaching the boat, Quinn got on first placing the cooler down before turning around offering me his hand, helping me step on the boat. 
Walking over, placing my things on one of the seats, turning around, taking a look at the lake, the site never fails to take my breath away. I feel Quinn's arms circle my waist, pulling my body against his. 
“Where do you wanna go today?” he asks me, his chin resting on my shoulder as he looks out at the lake. 
“Doesn't matter me” i say turning around wrapping my arms around his neck, “take us where the wind takes you” 
“That was so corny” he laughs 
“Yeah it sounded better in my head..” i say laughing along with him
“It was still cute” he says, giving a kiss to my forehead, turning around making his way to the dock, untying the boat from the dock. 
“Okay ma'am we’re about to take off, all passengers please remain in your seats” he says with a smile spreading along his features. 
“Yes caption” I say, saluting him, taking a seat on the boat.
Making his way to the cockpit sitting down, turning on the boat before taking off along the water, the wind blowing in my hair as we ride across the lake
The boat rocks gently to the calm waves that run through the lake, Quinn docking the boat, now at a standstill in the middle of the lake. The bright summer sun beating on our skin, the warmth casting over my body as I grab my book, before settling back in my seat. Moving a pillow to rest under my neck and part of my upper back, laying down to rest myself against it, pulling my knees up, so i can rest my book on my thighs opening it book, i begin reading,
The romance novel pulls me into an alternate reality so deep that  I forget that I'm even on the boat with Quinn until his voice breaks through the silence. 
“I missed it out here” he says his eyes looking around the lake taking in it like it's his first time seeing it, “i forgot how peaceful it is out here” he continues.
“ It's so peaceful out here, it's nice to see you so relaxed” I say to Quinn, looking at him above the pages of my book.
“I thought you were supposed to read to me baby?” he asks
“Come over here” I say with a smile, opening my legs so he can rest in between them. his footsteps padding across the boat, as he lays himself between my legs, his warm skin laying against mine, his arms circling around my waist as he pulls himself closer to me. 
“Comfortable?” I say looking down at him, his head resting against my stomach, Quinn shaking his head up and down in response. 
“Good. okay, now where was I?” my eyes searched for where I left off on my page, finding my spot again, taking a deep breath before I began reading. My eyes glance down every few minutes to see if Quinn is asleep or not, occasionally feeling his fingers trace down my sides, as I continue to read to him. Just as I'm getting to an interesting part in my chapter, I feel Quinn's body move lower against mine, not thinking anything of his movement. I continue reading. 
Pausing to take a deep breath before reading the next line, I feel a warm kiss being placed right below my belly button, causing me to stop reading, lifting the book up, looking down at Quinn whose face is right in front of my covered core, his eyes locked with mine. 
“What are you doing?” I ask slightly confused at his actions
“Nothing, just wanted to lay down here, keep reading for me baby” 
“Okay” I say before licking my lips, picking up on the unread line. 
I don't even make it through half the page before I feel Quinn pressing more kisses across my lower stomach, kissing all along the top of my bottoms. His fingers sliding under the ties on the slides pulling down slightly, rubbing his fingers along the skin under. 
Clearing my throat before starting again, my brain struggling to register the words I'm reading, all of my focus on the man between my legs. My brain goes completely to mush, when I feel quinn pressed kisses against my covered core, my breath immediately hitching at the sudden touch. 
“Quinn, i'm trying to read '' my eyes locking with his, a small smirk dances along his face. 
“No ones stopping you from reading baby” he says, his fingers moving under the sides of my bottoms. 
His hands move to pull on one of the strings that hold the left side of my bottom together, pulling it apart with one tug, repeating the same action on the other side, his eyes still locked with mine. 
“Quinn '' my breath hitching, as he moved his thumbs under the now loosened fabric, peeling it back, exposing my bare cunt, the wind casting a slight breeze causing me to shutter when it hits my exposed center. 
“Quinn” I say again, my voice slightly higher than the previous attempt, trying to get his attention. 
“Yes?” 
“What are you doing? I thought you wanted me to read to you?” 
“I did, but now I want to hear that pretty mouth make some other noises,” he says, before grabbing the loosened bottoms from my body, throwing them somewhere on the boat. Grabbing the book out of my hands, closing it, throwing it in the same direction. 
“Quinn, are you serious, I was reading!” I am slightly annoyed but turned on at the sudden change of Quinn's intentions.
“Shhhhhh, lay back and let me have a taste” his eyes locked with mine as he began tracing random shapes on the insides of my thighs, his hand inching closer and closer to my exposed cunt. 
I couldn't help but comply with his words, his face inching closer and closer to my center, I felt his warm breath against my folds. His tongue darted out, licking a stripe down my center. My head falls back against the pillow, as he begins to lick at my folds. his hands pulling my thighs apart, gaining better access to my cunt. 
His tongue finds my clit as he begins to run his tongue along the bud, my jaw falling slack as my hands grab his hair, needing something to stabilize myself with. As he continues to lap up my clit, like a popsicle on a hot summer day. 
“Quinn, fuck” I moan out from above him, his movements never slowing running his tounge over every part of my cunt. The sound of him sucking up everybit of my wetness, is like music to my ears.
“Taste so good baby” he mutters against my cunt, before diving back in, his hands pulling my thighs further apart as he continues to devour my cunt. 
“Quinn don't stop please” my chest rising and falling quickly as I struggle to catch my breath. My body feels like it's on fire, not just from the heat of the sun on my skin but from the feeling of Quinn’s burning touch.
His tongue continues to thrust in and out of my weeping hole, my moans growing louder and louder as I feel myself getting closer to my peak. 
“Fuck look at you baby” pulling his face away from my cunt, bringing two of his fingers dragging them through my cunt, my wetness coating his fingers. 
“Look at that baby” he says now looking up at me, holding the two fingers in front of him, “do you wanna taste?” he asks me 
Nodding my head in a yes, Quinn brings his fingers to my mouth pushing my lips apart, shoving them into my mouth slowly. My tongue swirls around the digits, the taste of my cunt wrapping around each of my taste buds. 
My eyes are locked with Quinn’s as I continue to suck on his fingers, his eyes hooded with mine, blown with lust and he looks up at me. He slowly pulls the fingers out of my mouth, a string of saliva following them. Tracing his fingers down my stomach down to my core, before running them across my cunt, my body itching around nothing from the action. 
“Quinn” i whine
“What baby?” he says as continues to run his fingers along my cunt. 
“Do you want my fingers? Is that what you want?” 
“Yes fuck please” i whine again, my hands finding his hair again pulling it, hoping that, that will urge him along. 
“So needy baby” he says laughing against my cunt, placing a kiss to my slit before pushing two fingers into my cunt. 
My head dropping back instantly, my body feeling full, as he starts thrusting his fingers in and out. Broken moans are falling from my lips, my eyes closed as my body moves against his. Moving my hips to help meet his thrusts. 
“Right there right there” I moaned, my legs beginning to shake as I felt myself about to come. 
“Quinn” i whine out, as he attaches his mouth to my clit, rolling his tongue over it, as his fingers continue to fuck me. 
“Please dont stop fuck” lifting my head to look at quinn, the sight of him inbetween my legs, mouth wrapped around my clit, as i watch his fingers thrust in and out me, takes my breath away. 
Quinn's eyes looking up, locking them with mine, his movements never stilling. My hips continue to move against his, the burning feeling in the pit of my stomach continues to grow with every touch, thrust, everything setting my body a blaze. 
One last curl of his fingers sends me into a frenzy, my head dropping back against the pillow, my month agape but no words are coming out. My legs shaking as I come, my hands still in Quinn's hair pulling the locks so hard that it probably hurts. My vision clouds over as my orgasm takes over my body. 
I don't even realize Quinn's fingers have left my body, until I feel him pressing kisses along my neck. My eyes opened slowly, my chest still rising and falling, struggling to catch my breath and find my words. 
“Are you with me, pretty girl?” Quinn says, looking down at me, pushing hair that's fallen into my face back. 
“Yeah i think so” bringing my hands to his face, pulling him down into a kiss. 
“Did so good for me” he says once he pulls back, “always so good to me” he says peppering kisses all over my face. 
“I love you” i mumble to him
“I love you more” rubbing small circles on my sides, as he looks at me, a wide smile on his face. 
“Can you go grab my book?” I ask him with a small pout on my lips
“Oh im not done with you yet” quinn says with a smirk playing his face, before flipping us over, my hips now straddling his lap. 
“I think this is next to go” pulling at my top, undoing the strings in the back pulling it from my body tossing it somewhere in the boat, my top now completely bare to him. 
“Now where was i?” he says licking his lips, before crashing ours together. 
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thanosthefuckingplum · 15 hours
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first off the list…
stardew valley <3
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harvey x reader- doctors orders
youve been dodging your appointment for months now. an embarrassing amount. so, lucky for you, your neighbor shane is helping you out by forcing you to go!! aren’t you just lucky. now you have to try and pretend you DONT want to have sex with your doctor. have fun!
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a screeching cry from your horse woke you from your slumber, bringing you a shocking way to wake up. shooting up from bed, you shoved yourself into some pants and scurried outside, the brightness of the lovely 6am sun blinding you. sure, farm life was great. the responsibility, the freedom, the cute animals you would take care of, it was nice.
your neighbour, shane, not as nice. especially on mornings like this, where his idea of helping out was trying to clean out your poor horses nails.
“y/n!! did i wake ya?” he chuckled a bit, knowing damn well what he started. he pulled himself up from the ground he held your horses shoes at, as it let out a huff of frustration. wiping his forehead, he grinned at you.
“thought ya wouldn’t mind if i helped you with your horse this time around. i usually deal with the chickens but..”
sighing, dramatically, you raised a brow. what an idiot. but, he was your best friend, and had always been since you first moved here. sure, he wasn’t doing so great when you first met, but he’s cleaned himself up a bit. thankfully. for your sake, and for jas.
“shane..” you laughed a bit, almost in disbelief at his attempts. “thanks, but i don’t think poor maverick deserves any of what you’re trying to do.”
giving you a somewhat cocky, but pouty expression, he practically dropped with sarcasm as he whined, “you don’t appreciate my hard work.” he strolled over, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
“need me to give you something to do?” you asked, gesturing your head towards your coops, full of clucking creatures that would be oh so grateful if you decided to give them their morning due.
“actually,” he began, pulling out a crumply letter that you assumed he’d pulled from your mailbox. “the doc wants you to go for your checkup.”
“you went through my mail?” you huffed, crossing your arms. he had a tendency to do that, especially when he was the one sending it. he was confident in his ability to give you good gifts. like pizza. or that weird bun recipe? which you’ve never tried? and probably won’t?
his grin turning into a more mischevious smirk, he nodded his head. “sure did, farmer. i’m sure he’s gonna have a very important conversation with you today,” he wiggled his eyebrows, childish as ALWAYS.
sometimes you wish he stayed the emo alcoholic he was before.
“shane!” you began, flustered as you snatched the sheet from his hand, scanning it quickly. just a nice, quick and brief letter. no connotations whatsoever. but shane knew you would overthink it. that little crush you had on your doctor was no secret.
“and it’s first thing in the morning too. must’ve been thinking about you all ni-“
SMACK.
giving him a hard tap on the shoulder, you smacked him away, making your way past him, burning with embarrassment. steam practically seethed from your ears. “i. will deal with that. after YOU deal with the chickens, kay?”
rubbing his arm while wincing a bit, he began his walk to your coops. “boo. you’re no fun.”
no fun? no fun??
sitting in your doctors office, bouncing your leg with anticipation and nervousness was definitely your idea of fun.
the clock in harvey’s clinic was broken. not in the way that you couldn’t read the time, but the sound it made. the incredibly clacky ticks it would make like it was on its last legs. which it basically was. speaking of last legs..
“come back as soon as you need it, george!” harvey’s voice came from behind the door, creaking open as evelyn, pushing george through the door that harvey held for them.
“thank you, doctor harvey. you are too kind.” evelyn, the sweet old lady she was, always so generous with her words. it made poor harvey so bashful. it was cute.
she smiled to you, the anxious little farmer sitting in the waiting room, ignoring the shaking of your leg. “good luck, dearie.” george, much unlike his wife, completely ignored your interaction, crabby as always.
harvey snapped his head to face you. “ah, y/n. early, i see?” of course, you had shown up 25 minutes sooner than you had to. shane was starting to push your buttons, what else were you to do?
nervously, you cleared your throat, the ringing bell or the door to the clinic closing filling the room. you spoke, “y-yeah, haha. i just was excited to-“ he raised a brow, allowing you to pursue your sentence despite your obvious hesitation. “ah, see what you wanted from me.”
“excited?” your doctor had a smirk creeping on his face, “i surely haven’t heard that term before when used in my office, but it does have a nice ring to it.”
you were just as shocked as him, listening to yourself talk. sometimes you wondered how you even managed to speak to people with the things that came to your mind in conversation.
“glad to hear..” you breathed, standing up from your seat. “so.. you called me in for..?” you inquired, hands stuffed into your pockets uncomfortably as you shuffled over to him.
“mm, yes.” harvey hummed, making room for you to walk into his office, almost pressing himself into the wall. he was too polite for his own good. nonetheless, he spoke, “i just had a few things i needed to discuss. nothing to panic about.” he reassured you, knowing how you felt in his office. ever since you’d first moved to pelican town, you’d always been nervous going to his office. sure, 5 years living here, you’d think that you would be used to it by now.
maybe it wasn’t just the office..
oh, for sure. it was him.
you couldn’t help it. he was so gentle with you. the way he’d make sure you were comfortable with everything he was doing, everywhere he was touching. always asking questions, and he was so, so charming. and his hands-
“take a seat, please.”
his orotund voice instructed you, his hand held out towards the medical bed. as you made your way over, he grabbed his clipboard and set a sheet of paper under the clip.
“okay…” he mumbled, mostly to himself, sliding his pen down the sheet, almost as if he was observing a checklist. your leg, subconsciously, began to bounce.
sliding a chair up to the bed, he took a seat, huffing a bit as he did, almost getting relaxed in the chair and slumping his hips forward. he clicked his own, and gazed up at you through his glasses.
“just going to ask you a few.. introductory questions, as usual.” he looked back down at his sheet, taking a moment of pause before speaking up once again.
“what has your diet been like?” he asks, genuinely. he had a way with his clients, his patients, you supposed. he always cared, perhaps due to the size of the town, being so small and insignificant if you weren’t apart of it. he was interested in the lives of the people he worked with, or maybe he was just interested in you.
“ah, since it’s summer, i’ve been having lots of strawberries from the farm. corn, too. lots of corn..” you sighed, feeling a bit sluggish at the thought of returning to your farm and ripping off those corn stems again.
“so, mostly your own crops, then?” he raised a brow, curiosity swirling in his eyes. he’d always been so fascinated with the idea of living on a farm. it was appealing, being in control of your own business. to him, at least.
nodding your head, you looked at him, for the first time this appointment, already feeling your face grow hot at his intense eye contact.
“yes, usually.”
scribbling a note into his clipboard, it felt like the silence was collapsing in on you two. it was hot, you felt hot.
he clicked his tongue, seemingly satisfied with whatever he wrote down, and looked back up.
“i’m assuming you’re good with exercise, of course. your body is great.”
he hesitated, a bit, seeming to overthink his words.
and with good reason, the implications of his sentence gave you a chill down your spine, feeling flustered and uncomfortable in your seat, suddenly. like you had to jump up, go for a run.
“uh, health wise, i-i mean. not that you don’t look great.” he corrected himself, a bit breathless as he spoke, knowing damn well he’d just made it worse. he couldn’t help but put emphasis on his words. either way, he hurriedly moved on, observing his sheet once more.
you sat in anxious silence, still bouncing your leg. there wasn’t much in his office. not much noise, except if you listened, his breathing. it was heavy, much like your own. like he’d been the one being examined this entire time. yet, he was the one with his eyes on you.
“are you.. sexually active?”
feeling yourself grow hotter by the second, you cleared your throat. “um, n-no. not currently.” why did you say it that way? why did you overthink your words so much, too? he’s asked you this question a dozen times, every appointment, and for some reason, you felt so, so, on edge just from his voice. the way he asked you. his voice was low, as usual, but it was gruff. like he’d been talking too much.
“mm.” he hummed, again, scribbling on his board. his face was pink, his ears mostly. which really sold him out. he’d like to think he was more nonchalant, especially when it came to appointments with you. he was glad nobody else had to come in today. he could take his time with you.
“just to confirm, you are aware this is a physical exam, yes?” he cocked his brow, almost inquisitively. like, he knew you weren’t aware. he was dying to touch you already, even if it was strictly kept professional. something about the way you would shiver every time his hands grazed your skin gave him a sense of superiority. he liked it.
but you, a tad shock stricken, nodded your head. “ah, i’m aware now.” you murmured, fiddling with the ring on your finger, feeling awfully shy, worse than before. now he has to touch you, and oh god, you weren’t sure how your body would react.
“i did give you a warning on the letter, don’t stress about missing it,” he said as a gentle reminder, setting down his board. he stood up, adjusting his jacket before taking it off, smoothing it out as he set it down on his desk.
slowly, almost trying to antagonize you, he began rolling up his sleeves, buttoning the cuffs. looking back over at you, shaky leg and all, he chuckled a bit. he grabbed another chair, sliding it in front of you. this one was a bit more at your level. when he sat on it, he was taller than you now.
“no need to be nervous, y/n, we’ve done this before.”
harvey attempted to put you more at ease, which was of course, helpless. he knew you wouldn’t relax. as much as he wished you would. not like he could help it though, he knew how you reacted around him. it’s not like it was a secret.
every physical between you two was the same. his cold hands against your warm skin, giving you the chills. he’d apologize, and you’d breathlessly apologize back, for being so nervous. and he’d say, “no, please, it’s okay.”
as you began snapping back to reality, there he was standing in front of you, pulling on a pair of medical gloves. leaning down to your level, he made himself face to face with you. a snap came from his wrist as he gave you a smile. voice low and pleasant, he spoke,
“i’ll be gentle.”
your helpless attempts to keep yourself still were.. to say the least, pathetic. he started off normal, as most appointments go, but the moment his hands went to feel your waist, you lost any sense of normality.
as soon as harveys hands grazed your waist, your back seemingly out of reflex, arched forward, causing you let out a gentle gasp. he looked up at you, again, through his glasses, raising his brow. frantically, you immediately went to apologize,
“i-im sorry. i get-“
he squeezed your waist a bit, almost teasingly, like he was scolding a dog for stealing a treat off the counter.
“ah, ah, no apologizing anymore. doctors orders.” he was stern, commanding. that wasn’t a recommendation, that was a demand. and you weren’t about to ignore it. especially with how he looked at you as he spoke. his eyes were slightly hooded, almost as if he was tired and had just woke up moments prior. but he was focussed, hyper aware of every movement you made, and even more hyper aware of every apology you’d been mumbling each time you’d make a sound.
saying nothing, you nodded your head, making a slight ‘mhm’ in response. his brows furrowed a bit, as he sat up. suddenly, it didn’t feel like you were in the doctors office anymore. he seemed on the verge of cracking, feeling a sort of lack of confidence in his professionalism. one more word from you and he was sure he’d break.
“good job.” he purred, pulling his seat in closer. he set his hands on your knees, he was above you now, from this angle, looking down at you as he spoke,
“i’m going to have to get a bit more invasive, i’m sure you don’t mind, do you?” he inquired, knowing full well your answer. taking a large breath, a shaky one, you spoke,
“please.”
without a moment of hesitation, you were kissing your doctor. every time you’d thought about it, you’d never imagined it would be like this. his hands on your thighs, locked lips so hotly you could barely breathe. the both of you didn’t want to separate, feeling so nice together. harvey refused to let go of you, his hand sliding up your hip to grab your waist.
he took his time feeling you, letting his hands praise your body. it was different than during your check ups, now. he was able to go wherever he wanted, however he wanted. learn your body more than just how the textbooks said it would feel.
“ah, i’ve felt this.. aching, for months.” harvey crooned through kisses, only taking a bit of a pull away to look at you, admiring the redness of your cheeks, and how hot you felt, and how beautiful you were.
“i cant believe i let myself take forever to touch you like this.”
god, he was making it difficult to stay quiet. your mind was foggy, swarmed with thoughts of what he was going to do next. where his hands were going, how hard he was going to kiss you, and where. and how his lips tasted when they were connected with yours. and how he’s just as desperate as you are, and how you wanted him more than anything right now.
he stood up slowly and almost hesitantly, keeping his head down to yours, not allowing your lips to keep themselves apart. his breath was minty, fresh and it tasted just the same. it was delicious. as he stood, his knee slid between your legs, moving his hand to your back to push you further into it, more against the edge of the medical bed. “mm, much better.” he whispered, mostly to himself, feeling the heat between your legs against his knee.
quietly, you let out a little noise, taking hold of his arm and gripping his dress shirt with your nails. harvey, sucking in air through his teeth, pressed you further up against him, your chests together.
“please don’t stop grabbing me like that.” he whispered, placing a final kiss on your cheek before lowering his head down, nuzzling himself into your neck. his hand was teasing you, pressing and rubbing circles into the nerve in your hip, sending waves of pleasure into your groin. he knew the body so well, and man, were you grateful for it.
his knee left your thighs as he pressed his tongue to your neck, giving you a shiver of arousal down your spine and earning a gentle moan from you. “ah, so you’re sensitive there?”
“e-everywhere, doc.”
he felt the hairs behind his neck rise as you spoke, “doc? you want to keep me in charge, do you?”
whining a little, you nodded, “i want you.” your voice was so scratchy, feeling weak and unable to breathe. but in the best way, knowing it was him that could make you feel like this. vulnerable.
“mm.” his voice was lustful as he crooned to you, “you do, do you? how about you get on your knees then? doctors orders, y/n.”
a chill crawled up your neck, arousal burning through your veins. you were so willing to listen to him, immediately making your way to the floor, sitting on your knees with your hands set on your lap.
he tilted his head to the side, strumming his thumb across your cheek. “good,” he whispered to you, sliding his thumb across your jaw. you leaned into his touch, closing your eyes and just leaving yourself there, only for a moment, before took his hand away.
slowly, harvey began to unbutton his work slacks, looking down to you. “you’re okay with this?” he asked, his hand stuck on his zipper. how sweet of him. he was so reassurance, always fining you a way out. even in his appointments, your check ups, he would always make sure you were doing okay.
of course, this situation was.. much different.
“yes. of course, harvey.” you purred, looking up at him with hooded eyes. “i’ve been wanting this just as much as you.” you insisted, unable to calm the giddy feeling in your chest at the thought of pleasing the man you’ve been obsessing over for the past.. way too long.
he groaned, a slight whine in his eagerness, unzipping his pants and pulling them down, revealing the tent that you gave him. you leaned forward, taking the initiative, and allowing yourself to take his cock yourself.
lucky for you, he was the perfect size, something you had problems with other men before. as you gazed up at him with admiration, he was holding his hand against his face, redness pouring into his cheeks. he was looking away from you, hiding his gaze.
you chuckled a bit, wrapping your hand around his length. “shy?” you teased, before opening your mouth and teasing the tip with your tongue.
“haah..” he breathed, immediately looking back down to you. your eyes, with batting eyelashes, were sending him spiraling, he could barely contain himself. “beautiful, y/n.” he whispered, placing his hand on the back of your head.
you teased him for a bit longer, not wanting to give him the satisfaction just yet. it was payback for all those times he’d done this to you during your check ups. all those times maru had interrupted just as his hand would slide up your thigh. all those times he’d murmur in your ear, knowing the implications behind his phrases.
“ng, no more of that.” he grunted, pushing your head further onto his cock. you hesitated, just for a moment, before finding a steady rhythm, swirling your tongue around him. his low and guttural moan told you he liked it.
“that’s good, that’s sooo good, don’t stop.” harvey sighed, rocking his hips back and forth slowly, but surely, as he found grip on your hair, pulling it up into a bundle in his large hands. each time your hand would twist a certain way, it would elicit a content moan from your doctor, and a mumble of praise. he knew where he wanted you to touch, where he wanted your mouth to go. and he would lead you there, pushing your head down, filling your mouth more with his length. it was addicting, his praise. his touch. you were willing to do anything for him at this point. anything to hear that pretty voice of his call you perfect.
“ha..” he chuckled, running his fingers through his hair, ruffling it a bit. “y-you keep doing that, i don’t know how much longer i can-“ he groaned, through his teeth, his brows furrowing. you had found a new pace on his cock, one that he particularly enjoyed. “ahg, last..”
you smirked a little against him, finding a sick pleasure in his weak points. seeing him made humble. it didn’t last long though, as his grip on your hair tightened, pulling you in.
“y-yeah? like seeing me all bent out of shape because of you?” he gasped, feeling himself drawing closer to his finish. “wanna make me.. nervous?” he panted out, a whine laced in his tone. he was less confident now, his voice shaky and weak.
pulling away with a pop, you smirked, “i really really do-“ you said with a mischievous grin, feeling proud of yourself.
sadly, that pride didn’t pursue much longer. he took the opportunity of you soaking in your pride to take you by the jaw and pull your face up to look up to him. you gasped in shock, though he had a soft expression, he had a smug smile smacked on his face.
“your turn.” harvey purred, helping you pull yourself up with the grip on your jaw and allowing him to hold you closer, wrapping his hand around your waist and squeezing it as he spoke, “go on, sit. you don’t need me to make you, do you?”
“no, sir,” the words fell out of your mouth so effortlessly, like you weren’t thinking before you spoke. and you weren’t. it was humorous, really, how you could go from so confident to needy and obedient so quickly. he loved it.
the nickname ‘sir’ gave him chills, giving him that sweet feeling of superiority over you. sure, he had his fair share of sex in college, but he was never confident enough to be able to actually execute the fantasies in his mind.
but now, he had you.
and you were all his.
with zero hesitation, you were pressed on the bed, the plastic sheet crinkling beneath you. your back was already arching just from the thoughts rushing through your head. what was harvey going to do now? how much better was it going to feel? your eyes went to his hands, watching him as he slowly removed his gloves.
“cant have those..” he mumbled to himself, tossing the gloves aside before crawling above you on the bed. his shadow fell over you, enshrouding you in him. his hip bones pressed up to your own, leaning his head down to your ear, mustache brushing against your skin as he whispered,
“stay still.”
as harvey found his place with his lips buried in your neck, you could feel his hand slide down your waist, sensitivity making you suck in from his touch. you felt a wave of pleasure wash over you, just from knowing what he was going to do. it was like a dream, you felt crazy. your brain couldn’t comprehend anything now, except how badly you wanted his hands to keep going.
and they did.
harvey tugged on the hook of your farm slacks, giving you the opportunity to pull them down yourself, and wrap your arms around his back underneath his own. feeling your hands on him, he let out a sigh. “i love when you touch me, y/n.”
“i love touching you.”
letting his mind wander for only a brief moment, harvey groaned, his thoughts going everywhere but appropriate places. he was glad he was living it, instead of just imagining it. sitting at his desk, thoughts of you invading his mind. poor maru, asking why he was so zoned out.
he was teasing you, holding his hand just above your crotch and the brink of your panties,leaving it there. your legs shook, and you bucked your hips slightly forward and up against his palm.
“please.” you whined, feeling an overwhelming tightness building in your groin. it was paralyzing, almost, the way you felt so weak. and it irritated you, how he was treating you like this. of course, it was him doing it, so you didn’t mind. he was spoiling you just by allowing you this opportunity.
just as much though, you were spoiling him. he was so grateful he was able to touch you like this.
harvey chuckled a little, pleased with your whimpering. he slowly pressed his finger against your clit, the fabric rubbing up against it as he slowly drew circles on it. you gasped, your back immediately arching up. you cursed a bit, under your breath, gaining a sinful sigh from him as he smiled at you in satisfaction.
you tugged on the band of your panties, hoping he’d get the hint to remove them. “harvey..” you whispered, pathetically.
he raised a brow, a straight expression screwed to his face. “hmm?”
“take these off.” impatiently, you spoke, in a slightly stern tone, finished with all this teasingly vague touch. harvey, startled at your sudden tone, blew up in red, clearing his throat. “ah, aha.. if you insist,
y/n.”
you had to admit, you liked how flustered he became. how you could feel his grip tighten on the sheet beneath you. how his brows furrowed because of how flustered he became.
as harvey slid down your underwear to your ankles, you kicked them off the bed urgently, adjusting your position to be further up against his hand, earning an amused hum from him. he was reminded of you, and your position beneath him, and it gave him a delicious feeling of warmth in his groin.
his hand returned to his place between your legs, beginning a sort of circular motion on your clit with his thumb before slowly sliding a finger inside, eliciting a sweet moan from you. he hummed, quite satisfied with himself, and created a gentle rhythm.
harvey was talented with his hands, there was no doubt about it, you thought, grateful that your doctor was the man he was. you were lucky, for sure, having such a dexterous man being the one finding his place inside of you. and you showed him your gratefulness, rewarding him with moans of ecstasy just from his hand.
he got comfortable, inserting another fing-
“doctor harvey?” a knock came from the door.
you jumped, breath catching in your throat, causing his finger to twist upwards pressing into your g spot, causing a moan you couldn’t help to begin to slip from your lips. harvey hurriedly slapped his free hand to your mouth, giving you a stern expression.
“y-yes, maru?” he stuttered out, his thumb almost subconsciously continuing to massage your clit, screwing your eyes shut in pleasure.
“i was just wondering if you needed any extra support with your paperwork.. i know you’ve been busy..” she sounded hesitant, like she had more to say.
“no, no. i’ve got it all covered,” he said, so casual, despite the bead of sweat dripping down his forehead and the occasional hard swallow. he looked back to you, the smallest and most mischevious smirk on his face.
slowly, he put another finger in, curling them up into your g-spot, making you buck your hips forward up into his hand, almost on instinct, like a reflex.
“ah- harvey-!” you gasped into his hand, and he simply pressed it harder onto your mouth.
“keep it down, y/n.” he whispered, “cant have maru hearing you whimper like that, can we?”
slowly, maru wrapped her hand around the handle, beginning to twist it, “are you sure? i can-“
“i-im quite sure! thank you! i believe you have work to do, don’t you?” harvey rushed, a shot of fear running through his body at the thought of his assistant catching him like this with a patient.
with you, at that. yet, a rush of excitement ran through his mind at the same thought.
“if you insist..” she let go of the door, her footsteps clicking across the floor as she made her way back to the office.
you let out a sigh of relief into his hand as he removed it, boiling up a bit of anger. “h-harvey! what were you-“
“sh.” he whispered, “don’t act like you don’t like the rush.. i know i do.” he sighed, breathing a huff of air. “as nervous as it makes me..” he mumbled the last half under his breath, as if you weren’t sharing your most vulnerable parts together. he still wanted to be perfect for you. taking his fingers out, causing you to sigh in frustration, he fumbled a bit, grabbing your hips.
“can i…?” he asked, his eyes trailing down to his length, feeling overwhelmed with the idea of being inside of you. he’d been waiting too long, and knowing now that maru had the potential of coming in, he didn’t feel like waiting anymore.
any anger you had against his insane ideas washed away at the thought, and you whined a bit. “oh my yoba, please, yeah.” you groaned, letting your head knock back.
he positioned himself, taking a moment to ensure you were comfortable. “is this… okay?” harvey whispers, only a tad on edge from the almost immediate loss of his job earlier.
“yes, yes, please! how many times are you gonna make me ask?”
“i like the way you say please.”
with that harvey was eager, eager to finally feel himself inside of you. slowly, he began to push his length into you, as you immediately squeezed on him, unable to control how your body naturally reacted to his cock. it was mesmerizing, and thanks to his treatment of you earlier, you weren’t in pain.
“mmgn.. yes..” he whimpered quietly, his head cocking backwards in pleasure just from feeling how you wrapped around his cock. “ahh.. ah- i don’t know..” he whispers, slowly beginning a steady but sloppy pace, “how long.. i can last with you.”
you moan softly, placing your fingers over your mouth. “please please just fuck me while you can.” you gasp, breathless as the feelings overwhelm you, but in the best way. harvey was big, and you didn’t realize it until he was inside of you. but god he felt good.
with absolutely zero reluctance, harvey sped up, panting out gasps and moans, and little whines in between. he lowered himself down to your ear, his breath hitting the cusp of it hotly, his whimpers crisp for you to hear. it was intoxicating. he was intoxicating.
“y/n.. y/n, y/n, y/n..” harvey murmured, the words coming out of his mouth slurred and seductive, bringing a tightness to your groin that made you clench around him.
“don’t stop.. please, doc.” the nickname slipped from your lips again, earning you a satisfying groan in your ear from your lover above you, his thrusts growing faster and harder. his hips grinded against your own, as you brought them into his in a passionate rhythm.
his moans began to sound more like whiny gasps, his confident demeanor diminished. he was so entranced, so desperate to feel good, feel you. and those moans of yours and how tight you felt around his cock and the feeling of your bare skin touching and how hot-
“y/n.. so..so close!” he begged, almost expecting those cries to get you to help him cum, and his voice brought you closer to your finish yourself.
his name left your mouth thoughtlessly, reaching your arms up to pull him close to your chest, nails clawing into his bare back. “yes! yes! like that-ah!” you cry, your legs wrapping around his waist as you cum on him, and he joins in unison.
harvey slows his pace almost immediately, growing quick with fatigue as he pulls himself out of you, shivering at the feeling.
about as exhausted, you shift yourself slightly to sit up, feeling an apparent ache in your body. letting out a huff, you become increasingly aware of how loud the crinkling was on the bed. and then it hits you.
“harvey?”
“y-yes?” he gasps, breathless.
“you.. DO have sound proofing right?”
FIN.
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joelsgreys · 11 months
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saeshiraw · 9 months
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tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry
#tw rant#studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not#its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels#so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday#i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me#n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone#yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my#friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep#of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle#but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today#i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts#and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics#just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people#im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier#im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk#and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know#but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac#h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe#ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch#people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and#seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want#are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to#spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was#i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next#“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes#me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good#but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im#intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout#but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone
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mac i am so sorry to enter ur inbox with more qsmp but oh my god. qcellbit update. so he talked to bagi. his sister. he still doesn't remember her. he still needs time to process everything but she said she's waited fifteen years so she can wait a few more days. i'm crying and sobbing rn. also he doesn't even fucking remember what he did to get thrown in prison, all he knows is that he was killing people to survive one day and another he was behind bars. i'm UNWELL!!! he got called in to talk to cucurucho (the fuckin THING that's kind of the federation mascot and it tortured cellbit with a chainsaw months ago FUCK CUCURUCHO ALL MY HOMIES HATE CUCURUCHO) and he was just. fucking tired. yesterday he messed with the feds quite publicly and cucurucho questioned him about it and he said "i don't care what you do to me, you can torture me, i don't care. i just want my family back, i want a future with them. just give me peace. let me rest." HE SOUNDED SO FUCKING TIRED. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE WAS SAYING UNTIL SOMEONE POSTED A TRANSLATION BUT HE SOUNDED SO SO SAD. AND NOW CELLBIT HIMSELF IS GOING TO TWITCHCON SO QCELLBIT IS TAKING A WEEK LONG DEPRESSION NAP. MAC CAN U HEAR ME. I'M UNWELL. I'M LOSING IT. THIS IS ME RN
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anyway. hows ur day. i might go watch some steven universe bc i have been meaning 2 rewatch it (or adventure time!!!! one of the two for sure) take a short break from binge watching hannibal 2 watch a silly funny cartoon :3 also still trying to make my way thru marble hornets again it's just such an insane series 2 rewatch u know but i'm getting there!!! sorry i am just currently lying on the floor in my brain thinking about qsmp i had 2 tell u what happened 2 ur blorbo in law today
NEVER APOLOGIZE TO ME ABOUT PUTTING STUFF IN MY INBOX I LOVE GETTING MAIL I LOVE LEARNING THROUGH OSMOSIS I LOVE LISTENING 2 PPL TALK ATBT THINGS THEY LOVE
that sounss aboslutely DEVASTATING btw. oh my god. so the whole thing is like.. she remembers him but he doesnt remember her ?? GODDDD thats so upsetting. im glad hes getting 2 take a nap even if it is a depression one sigh. oh man oh man i love this.
my day was! good i think! i have not had a day to reat since my whole job shadow debacle last week so im kimd of running on fumes BUT . i have off work tmw so im gonna get a haircut and feel all good about everything. and maybe work on some art bc im now caught up to my pre prepped invertober images and i have a couple other time sensitive things like that. ougah. we keep truckin. ive got a huge backlog of youtube videos to watch from last week + beginning of this week i cannot Wait to get thru those and also watch more adventure time !! bc i have offically gotten to Stakes (a marcelone centric mini series) and it is one of my favorite eras ever. i love you vampire lore!!!
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scaredofmyocs · 7 months
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I love it when i accidentally stay up on the night im supposed to be catching up on sleep it totallly doesnt make me feel horrible all week long
#talk post#i love this blog i want to live here#I cant!!! i just cant!!! go to bed at a normal fucking time istg#but noooooo the wild grinders wiki no some stupid bullshit no one has ever cared about before#WHEN I DONT GET ENOUGH SLEEP MY MENTAL HEALTH GETS WAY WORSE!!!!! IF I DONT FIX IT WE ARE GOING TO GET TOO SILLY#(yelling at a mirror)#seriously bothers me tho that Im always worried about how intense my negative feelings have been lately#and im like “oh ill just get more sleep” and then immediately fuck it up the next night making me tired all week#making me feel SO bad in the mornings and at night and increasing my paranoia and other such thoughts#and in trying to tune it all out just forget about it again leading to me fucking it up again#this is a bit dramatic its only happened 2 weeks in a row#but that feels like a lot because thats like 10 nights where i felt like i blinked and i had to wake up and go to school#and not only deal with my shitty social skills but the results of said thing#and also try to fight the thoughts that are like “this shits pointless im not doing this” LIKE PLEASE pretend to be normal for one year#and also that one teacher i have who demands every students attention while he teaches like i already finished the work sheet shut it#like i do well in that class just let me do what i want im not being distracting like girl i have at least an 87 dw about me#PLUS most of the time im not even on my phone he just really wants me to look at the board but girl as i said I ALREADY DID WHATS ON THERE#i feel like i never get to relax but i do all the time so i dont know what i mean#i keep saying “its ok as long as i can bury all my thoughts and just keep going while filling what free time i have with things i enjoy”#but things only work for so long#i hate the passage of time#anyawy erm wrong my guitar is in my mind (stupid ass guitar riff)#walks over to my bed and trips on the way falling asleep on the floor#ramble#hit post
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nerdie-faerie · 5 months
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Feeling a lil vindictive, a lil nasty this morning
So context, my brother had a work do last night and before he left he told my mum he'd becoming back here and doing so alone. So tell me why he called me at 3am when I'm trying to sleep but travel anxiety and says he's bringing two mates back? I tell him he can't I'm leaving at 6 tomorrow he just goes yeah they'll just be passing through your room. No I've gotta get up in 3 hours you can't be keeping up, yeah it's fine. The fuck it is not
Anyway so my alarm goes off 3 hours later I've barely slept, my brain already woke me up several times prior but that doesn't mean I'm turning my alarms off immediately or getting ready quietly after the prick disturbed my sleep
#Demon Spawn#travel tag#the rest of my siblings got a nice goodbye but im not a morning person on a good night sleep let alone when i havent been able to sleep#like i wouldnt have gotten much sleep regardless because of anxiety but i woulda been able to fall asleep sooner if i hadnt been dragged out#of bed kept awake by the rage induced adrenaline and the sounds of sports being played on tv and chatter in the next room#and hes gonna spend all day in bed anyway so i dont feel guilty particularly when hes had guests over constantly for the two weeks ive been#home which denies me access to the ensuite and kitchenette thats accessible from his room and he constantly keeps me awake#i dont get to enjoy my comfy non student accommodation bed because the fcker never lets me go to sleep and my mum wont let me sleep in#i did fix my sleep schedule minutely was getting tired at 12 instead of 2am from where i fcked it during assignment season so small mercies#had to wake my littlest brothers up to say goodbye and the babby started crying 😢 my mum wanted me to wake her and the baby up too#but the baba was still half asleep and definitely not processing that i was leaving 😂 she was so unbothered guarantee ill have to facetime#my dad dropped me to the bus stop and hes as bad at small talk and emotionally constipated as me but he was just coming back from a night#shift so i appreciate that that was him putting in extra effort and him checking i had enough money is as close to sentiment as he can do#everyone else? cute goodbye. my sister was already awake when i got up to the house pretty sure she had an alarm set.....#my oldest younger brother? i hope the hangover sucks
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sk3l3t0n444 · 6 months
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i wanna play animal crossing but i get really stressed about the amount of stuff i can do and how i dont know what i should do and it always reminds me that i should be working on shit :(
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fella-lovin-fella · 8 months
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i woke up really depressed today :(
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pizzapizzadickz · 1 year
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#yeah! ill do thing#haha. i cant do anything today muchless feed myself#i cant fuction#personal#diary#i want to make a late or an espresso and theres nothing cleared off like my mom said it would so now idk what to do#i went from good morning to near meltdown in .5 seconds huh?#this is why i dont like it when someone says then tries to shut me up and doesnt do thing#like??? i didnt care id u cleared off infront of my espresso tbing that takes 5 seconds. but a peice of countertop???#yeah idk where i could even put anything#so yeah now i dont know what to do and am in pure stuck mode. bc i dont have space to make food either.#honestly i just hate everything so much. i hate life so much. im so tired i dont like this.#*david Attenborough voice* now look at this creature. utterly incapable of functioning without coffee. how useless.#ugh. seriously though. if i can just get through a morning and make coffee i can generally be more okay than i would otherwise#do you know how much it fucking sucks just waking up and being like#ugh. like i know this is probably in part bc i should be getting my period soon. but. its days like today i sorta wish i was dead#suicidal ideation#like. what am i supposed to do when it feels like the whole world is hostile. like. just one deviation from my plan and i cant handle ti#idk. it sucks really. im honestly not even asking for much anymore. i just wish i could at least play video games really.#if i could at least do that it wouldnt feel like such torture just existing. idk. i just want one thing.#idk. i know a lot of this is hormonal but even that sucks! why the fuck do i have to live like this.#idk. im really tired. really really tired. i still have to do work too this week. and honestly im so tired.#while i really do enjoy doing things n life n shit. i hate that like 90% of my life is just suffering. just pure suffering#...and yes i am wishing i am dead or something simply bc i couldnt make a latte like i planned#and no i will not be able to make myself breakfast now either. my morning is ruined now. so im unable to function#ugh. i just wanted to have a nice coffee and play splatoon today. but instead i got a nice case of yet again#idk. id be okay if there was just. nothing expected of me. if i didnt have to feed myself or work or shit.#like. me not wanting to exist is mostly just bc of the inconvenience i cause everyone around me#i have to be careful of what i say careful of what i do make sure i never bother anyone.#and so i just quietly cant functiom over here in a corner. just ugh. usually i can tidy shit up myself
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lovecompass · 1 year
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i wish i was dead sooo bad soooo bad like literally hate every aspect of my life rn but there is nothing i can do because i dug myself into this grave so now i have to lie in it
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possiblytracker · 1 year
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that sucked dhjdv
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yelloworangesoda · 1 month
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i hate the food situation at my house so much for the love of god. theres only so many times a man can eat ramen with nothing or tuna with nothing
#theres no fucking. ingredients. theres nothing to add. i used to walk around my kitchen trying to look up stuff to make with what we had but#it required like. an onion. an egg. a spice. a vegetable. and we dont have that#and something about me. idk what it is idk if its me or my dads fault but i cant ask for it. i cant. i think part of it is bc i need the#ingredient for my one thing and then. it goes bad and its my fault and i feel bad#i hate my food situation so much. my dad makes this food in the microwave that he knows i dont like or eat. but if i make something else he#gets offended like thats not fair#and i feel bad for complaining bc i should just get a job and buy my own food but im not gonna do that bc im not gonna get a job.#i have trust fund money. like a decent amount from when i was hit buy a car#i should move out of state like right now. and live off that and when it runs out. ill just lay in the street i guess. i hate my life so#much guys its not funny. idk what to do. theres no fixing this theres nothing i want to do and nobody can help me bc theres no solution#everyone ignores it bc theres no solution to my problem. im never gonna be happy. its never gonna be worth it#nobody wants to tell me thats life suck it up or die bc they know id rather die by a mile. im so embarrassed of my stupid life im such a#failure. i want to kill myself bc i dont want to work like how pathetic is that. thats so stupid. i dont really say it to my parents bc they#would just laugh at me. or yell at me. i dont know what to do. i dont know what to do. i find myself hoping i get in a car accident and die#anytime i go out. i hope i dont wake up in the morning. i hope something bad happens and its not my fault so i dont get the blame i just get#the benifit of not having to do this anymore#god thats so. dark. its how i feel.#its getting to the point where i dont feel like i should say im not gonna kill myself at the end of these. im still not yet. but it feels#like a yet situation. like its gonna get to the point where i start trying again.#im still not there yet though. please dont… well idk what happens so suicidal adults. call the police on me. my methods arent any more#refined than they were when i was 14 trying to drink. nail polish.#simons spouting#vent :(#suicide //
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fckinghunt · 1 month
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need someone to tell me that everything will be ok and that this day will pass just like all the rest
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maztemmo98 · 2 months
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dream(ish) story time!!
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this-doesnt-endd · 2 months
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and on a semi sidenote i was walking to work this morning and this fucking white truck was being super weird like i saw it coming down from the end of the block and it was normal pace then instantly slowed down and stopped at the stop sign and sat there for prolly like two minutes as i got closer then it turned the same why i had to turn and i saw it drive a bit up then stop again then drove ever so slightly down another street and stop again and i could still see it and it had like a set of bars in the back like something a work truck would have but it seemed a lil too nice to be a work truck and i make another turn walk down that block then i make my final turn and i can see my work at the end of the street and i hear a car coming from behind me its the white fucking truck and it so slowly drives past me then stops a bit ahead in the middle of the road its a small one so thats how most cars drive down it but it was like in the middle at a slight angle and thankfully my friend had just texted me so i knew i could call incase but i walked farther away starting to head into the park right there and i almost past it before it drives up a bit slowly then turns and drives up a street regular speed and i still have two more rows of houses to go so i get the phone ready to dial pepper spray ready headphone out as i walk and i was like so sure it was just gonna drive up and around and come out the alley but it didnt and i got to work and looked at our cameras to see if it was driving around and it wasnt but like what the fuck was that about
#like maybe they were lost but i highly doubt it also its a residential neighborhood those streets dont get you anywhere#like theyre just streets to get to houses you arent really getting to main roads on them#also the fact that they kept slowing down and turning and just happened to go along my route is sketch#and like i didnt even try to look into the truck to see like if it was a weird guy i was too worried also like i feel like if i look at the#it just gives more reason to attack me cause ive had a few cars do this before#and like its either early in the morning or later at night and im like the only one out there i do kinda know the people who live around#like i know whos up and around and i know two houses where friends friends live and i can go to if i ever need#and theres a house that has kids so thatd be a good bet#and like obvi i was worried and weirded out but i just try to keep on and not acknowledge it which usually works but its like why#why do i have to do that like i dont even know why they did that but i can assume and like i might be wrong but i feel like its prolly men#in those cars i did acknowledge it one time and it was a guy and he was like oh i think you live around here do u want a ride and i was lik#oh nah im fine i like the walk its real nice outside and he kept his inside lights off so i couldnt see him but i could hear him#and he was like really its fine and i was like thanks so much but i like to walk and listen to music then he drove off and i was like righ#near my house so i booked it#but like why cant i live in peace?#also id prefer a diff car or truck white modern ford f150s already appear in my nightmares i dont need them in my waking moments either
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