Tumgik
#when i wasn't incognito
aroaceofdiamonds · 1 year
Text
Just got a 20 minute ad on YouTube
Sure it was skippable, but that's not the point
The best part?
The video I wanted to watch was 40 seconds long
1 note · View note
keeps-ache · 2 years
Text
tumblr just crashed my entire computer, rendering it to nothing but a glowing black screen until my brother restarted it :) #lifestyle
12 notes · View notes
batshit-auspol · 5 months
Note
I really enjoy this blog so much. Gimme your most favorite batshit auspolitics moment from the 2000s to 2010s. please. i am morbidly curious.
2007: The APEC conference, where all global leaders converge in one city to pretend like they're doing things, is to be held in Sydney, Australia. With the war on terror in full swing, security is at a maximum, and large swathes of the city are placed behind a giant multi-layered steel fence to keep the world leaders far away from the unwashed masses.
Tumblr media
Attempting to ward off trouble, organisers of the conference hold a meeting with notorious political comedy prank group "The Chaser", to tell them they are, under absolutely no circumstances getting anywhere near any world leaders, and to not even bother trying.
"The whole perimeter is secure," security forces told them sternly. "The only thing getting through that fence is a motorcade."
24 hours later The Chaser were on their way towards the fence with a motorcade.
Tumblr media
Now a few things should have tipped off security guards that this fake Canadian motorcade was not a the real deal. Number one: Canada wasn't at the conference, number two: no country has actually had security running alongside cars since the 60s, and three: most security guards don't carry video cameras with them or passes that read "this is fake".
Nevertheless the ruse was more successful than anyone had anticipated, and The Chaser team were happily waved into the most secure area on planet earth by police, who informed the incognito comedians that "the road is yours."
Reaching the outside of George Bush's hotel, the pranksters now began to worry that they were never going to be stopped by police and decided to get out of the car and walk back to the fence.
While dressed as Osama Bin Laden.
Tumblr media
At this point all hell broke loose. Snipers were locked on. Confused police scrambled, and immediately arrested the whole group, only breathing a sigh of relief when they saw the words "Chaser" on the fake security passes.
Bizarrely the police opted to give a full escort to the guy dressed in a suit, and allowed the other man cosplaying as the world's most wanted terrorist to just casually walk out on his own before booking him at the perimeter.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
The Chaser team said that while being put in a cell overnight wasn't fun, they were less stressed after police started visiting to ask for photos and signatures.
The prank group were later hauled before the courts and threatened with a massive fine, but the case was eventually dropped after they successfully argued that it's not technically breaking-in if the cops happily wave you into a high security zone.
Needless to say they have changed that law for future APECs.
Making light of the situation, the prank group also returned to the site a few days later dressed as carboard cars, to see just how flimsy a disguise could get past police.
Tumblr media
This time at least, they were not let in.
9K notes · View notes
falling-endlessly · 2 months
Text
Boomerang (part 4)
Vox x Female!Ex!Overlord!Reader
Summary: Vox is determined to win you over, no matter what. You just want your damn peace back.
Warnings: some mature themes (mention of sexual arousal)
<— Part 3 Chapter Index
Vox gripped the bathroom counter, staring at himself in the LED outlined mirror. "You've still got it," he said to himself firmly, lifting a clawed finger to point at his reflection. "Just be cool, man."
He relaxed his face into his signature grin, leaning an elbow against the counter. "Hey Y/n, how's everything? I was wondering if you wanted to go for coffee sometime?" He threw in a wink for good measure.
A second of silence passed before he shuddered violently, breaking composure. "Ugh, no, no. Focus, man. Okay," he repositioned himself, shoving his hands nonchalantly in his pockets. He cleared his throat, mustering up his best confident, devil-may-care expression. "Doll, what do you say we get out of here tonight, yeah? Just say the word and I'll get us a private room at your favorite restaurant."
His smile twitched. Shit. That wouldn’t work on you either.
This was ridiculous. He started trends on a whim, charmed the masses to hang off of his every word, and yet—here he was, rehearsing in front of a bathroom mirror like a prepubescent boy with a crush. And failing miserably too.
He shook his head to clear it, hands grasping at the sides of his monitor so tightly it displaced the pixels on his screen. "Think Vox, what did you do to make her like you the first time?"
But if he was being completely honest, it was actually you who made all of the first moves. You who captured his attention like a vice. You who reeled him in, hook, line and sinker. There was no grand courtship on his part. In fact, he couldn't even remember the exact moment he had started to fall for you. It was all so easy, natural, seamless. He didn't have to do anything except for be himself.
He pursed his lips, turning back to the mirror warily. And—whatever, fine, fuck it. Not like anyone could see him debase himself like this anyway.
Vox sighed, his smile dropping like an overused mask. The desperation and vulnerability that he hated so much creeped back into his eyes, making him tense.
"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm such a damn idiot and—I just..." he trailed off, before groaning, dropping his head in his hands. "Fuck, this is pathetic."
What was he doing? Wallowing in self pity like some lovesick loser? For fuck's sake, he wasn't just some spineless bottom feeder, he was Vox. CEO of Pride's largest conglomerate. People would kill to be in his position.
A shaky grin forced itself back on his face as he lifted his head. Fuck, enough of this. Nothing was going to get done if he just sat here and twiddled his thumbs all day. It was time to make a move.
With his mental armor back in place, he marched to your room like a man on a mission. He may or may not have sent a drone on your tail to find it, since everyone else in this damned hotel seemed hellbent on pretending that they had short term memory loss when he asked. It was still a prototype, unreleased to the public. A camera the size of an ant, for incognito purposes of course.
When he finally reached your door, he pasted a confident, charming smile on his face. One that he knew used to fluster you once upon a time.
"Just act natural," he chided himself quietly, taking a deep breath before knocking on your door.
There was a moment of silence, before some shuffling was heard, and then the handle was turned.
Vox froze as you opened the door, dressed in baggy sweats with your hair in a disarray. Your shirt had ridden to the side at some point, and the rumpled neckline was exposing the enticing dip of your collarbone. He felt his mouth go dry.
And suddenly it struck him how much he missed you. God, he'd missed you. Your comforting presence, your lively humor, even the small things like waking up next to you or seeing your toothbrush next to his in the bathroom. And fuck, it hurt to have you just out of reach.
Your pretty mouth pulled down into a frown when you saw him, body language changing from relaxed to guarded in an instant.
Vox forced himself out of his trance, clearing his throat. This was his moment to shine. He'd practiced for this.
"Hey—" he started cheerfully, before the door was promptly shut in his face.
Vox blinked stupidly, standing in front of your room in shocked silence. Did—did you just—?
Frowning, he raised a hand to knock again. "Y/n?" He called out in confusion.
"Go away, asshole," your muffled voice came from somewhere on the other side of the door. "I don't want to talk to you."
"But—"
"I said beat it," you growled, before a glowing barrier materialized outside of your door. Fuck, if he touched that he knew he wouldn't stop bugging until tomorrow morning.
"Fine," he hissed under his breath, turning and storming away. So that was how you wanted to play it, huh? Fine, joke’s on you. He liked a challenge.
On the way back to his room though, he felt a familiar, pleasant tightness between his legs. Vox froze, slowly looking down at the noticeable tent in his pants in horror.
"Oh, come on."
****
The next few days could only be described as an intensely aggressive game of cat and mouse. He tailed your ass like a damn police dog, determined to get even a moment alone with you—but to his absolute irritation, you kept coming up with increasingly ridiculous ways to blow him off.
He invited you to take a walk with him after dinner? You suddenly developed a spontaneous stomach bug and now you were bedridden. He held a door open for you? You pushed open the other side of the double doors and maintained unimpressed eye contact with him the entire time. He couldn't even follow you with his micro-camera anymore, because you'd promptly discovered it and stabbed it to his bedroom door with a needle as a violent warning.
Nothing was going according to plan and he was growing more frustrated by the minute. What was the point of coming here if he saw you just as often as if he had stayed in his tower?
"How am I supposed to convince her to come back," his eye twitched, one night on a rant-filled phone call with Velvette. "If I can't fucking talk to her?"
Velvette looked at him like he was a dried piss stain on the wall. "Vox, do I look like I give a singular fuck about your dumpster fire of a love life?"
Ah yes, such encouraging commentary as always. Really, he didn't even know why he bothered to call if his abused ego was just going to get attacked while it was already rolling around in a fetal position.
"You're still on the call with me," he said pointedly.
Velvette rolled her eyes, scrunching her nose up at him in irritation. "Fine, since you're so pathetic, I guess I could spare some charity," she ignored his scoff, continuing without a hitch. "You need to fucking lay off, stop trying so damn hard to get her attention. It’s giving desperate and creepy."
"I'm not—"
"Yes you are," Velvette glared. "Listen. If you don't want to end up permanently dumped, you need to compromise. Stop acting on your emotions like a toddler, you can't fucking afford that right now. And neither can we," she grumbled the last part.
Vox dug his claws into the bedding he was lying on, tearing up the soft material. The thought of giving up on you physically pained him, but...this wouldn't really be giving up, right? Velvette was suggesting a temporary ceasefire, a way to make you let your guard down, which might not be such a bad idea. It was more like...a strategic redirection of his efforts. Something that would benefit him in the long run.
He needed to build up the trust you'd lost in him. Slowly, bit by bit, until you accepted his feelings again.
The gravity of the situation was daunting. Something told him that this was his last chance, that if he fucked up one more time, you really would be gone for good.
He couldn't afford to lose you like that. It would fucking break him.
A loud crash sounded in the background on the other line, jolting him out of his thoughts.
Velvette's face drew into an aggravated sneer as she turned around. "For fuck's sake. What the fuck is it no—"
The line went dark, cutting off the call.
Vox sighed, throwing his phone blindly somewhere on the bed as he leaned back, staring at the ceiling.
Sleep evaded him that night, but in its place he started to devise a new strategy. Velvette was right, if he kept pushing, he would only drive you away. It was time to change his approach, and as much as he hated to admit it, it was...time to put his pride on the backburner.
Because he could live without his pride, but fuck—he didn't even want to think about what an eternity without you would be like. Besides, it was only until all of this was over and you came back home. He just...had to be patient.
****
After taking a few days to regroup, Vox was now more than ready to put his plan into action.
He’d rehearsed an embarrassing amount of times in the bathroom mirror, popped a breath mint, chugged an energy drink, and slapped himself in the face for good measure. Not necessarily in that order.
Now, in the late hours of the morning, he waited patiently for everyone to filter out before making his move, quietly cornering you in the kitchen.
You were sitting in the far corner, hunched over a steaming mug just like he knew you would be. It was something you'd been doing since he first met you, always reserving twenty minutes after breakfast to enjoy a second cup. He didn't even need to look at the contents to know that there was only a single cream, but enough sugar to make an elephant go into cardiac arrest.
That precious information would forever be saved to his hard drive.
For a long moment, he just stood there like a certified creep, admiring the familiar scene with painful longing. You hadn't noticed him yet, so your expression was still the vision of perfect bliss, eyes closed with a slight uptick to the corner of your mouth. And suddenly, he wasn't in this shitty hotel anymore. The retro kitchen transformed into a sleek modern design, the white walls melting to light blue. It was one of the few lazy mornings both of you were able to spend together, and—
"What do you think you're doing?" Your irritated voice shattered his fantasy like a pane of rose-tinted glass.
"Ah, Y/n!" His grin slotted back into place like a puzzle piece. Fuck, he hadn't even said a proper sentence to you, and you were already looking at him like he was a piece of shit someone forgot to flush down a public toilet. He had to act fast or you'd walk out again. "Funny running into you like this," he chuckled, hiding his fidgeting hands behind his back. Electricity crackled between them. "Actually, I was wondering if—"
"No," you said sharply, cutting him off.
"I—What?" His grin twitched.
"Whatever it is that you're going to say, no," you snapped, turning your back to him for emphasis.
Vox went silent for a moment. Tone it down, he repeated in his head. Stick to the plan.
"Look," he started, softening his tone. "I realize that I haven't exactly been," he grimaced. "Fair to you."
You laughed bitterly. "Understatement of the decade, asshole."
"I'm sorry," he sighed, watching carefully as your shoulders tensed in surprise. "I'll stop, if that's what you want. I won't ask you out anymore or bother you with stupid, meaningless shit."
"But?" You said quietly.
"But I still want to be...friends with you," the word left a bitter taste in his mouth, but he swallowed it with a smile.
He chanced a quick glance at your face, and—well you looked like you didn't really buy it, but at least you didn't look like you wanted to kill him and dispose of his body in a ditch anymore.
"Alright," you said, after a long period of skeptical silence, your eyes unreadable. "I’ll hold you to it, then."
He closed his eyes. "Please, just consider—" he froze, processing your words.
You said yes? Fuck, you said yes!
He cleared his throat. "I mean, yeah, absolutely. Totally. Makes sense."
He caught the briefest flash of amusement in your eyes, before you turned to bring your empty mug to the sink.
"So, uh," he started giddily. Fuck rein it in man, slow down. "What are you doing later?"
“I’m busy today,” you shut him down immediately, making him deflate at your sharp tone. Then you paused for a second, seeming to contemplate something. “Well actually,” you said lightly, making him perk up again. “There is something you can join me for, but it’s a little…out of your depth.”
“Oh really? Try me,” he smirked confidently. As if anything would stop him from finally spending time with you today.
A vindictive spark suddenly flared in your eyes, making him hesitate. "Group therapy and trust exercises," you said smugly, and a jumble of odd noises quickly glitched from his head, his screen flashing briefly to show a giant, red exclamation point. "But since you're too busy with that billion dollar company and all, I thought you wouldn't be interested," you smiled sweetly.
Oh. You conniving little shit. You had him cornered.
Looks like he wasn’t the only one doing his homework.
“How f-f-fun,” he forced out, the words literally tasting like ash on his tongue.
“It is,” you nodded genuinely, making him double take. “I actually quite enjoy it.”
Vox pressed his lips together into a fine line, dread steadily welling in his chest as he realized that yes, you were actually serious. Sweet fuck.
For a second, Vox contemplated making a strategic retreat and calling it a day. He eyed the door behind him longingly.
But no, he couldn’t afford to back down from your little game just yet. If this was how you wanted to raise the stakes, fine. Bring it on.
Before he could lose his nerve, Vox mustered up a pained smile. "Actually," he said, making you raise a brow. "I'd like to give it a shot."
"Really?" You said incredulously.
"Yeah?" His grin twitched. "Why not?"
****
<— Part 3 Chapter Index
Taglist: @pooplyface1423 @spookysisters @that-one-weeb-buts-its-the-main @neito327 @hxzbinwrites @coleisyn @bababahannah @yellowsubiesdance @dirk-strides @justaspectatorforfandomarts @harmoira @sunnyslug @gum-iie @lady-valtieri @mit-suri @whatelsecouldgowrong @sillysimplysilky @eternalera @aoiyx @hazellight11 @hopefully-not @tsuvvy @imcryinginemo @dinorawrss @rekoloid @ayesha-eroticax3 @sle3pyh3ad2 @l0verboyxoxo1111 @lucasisstupid @lu-ferri12 @fandom-queen37 @ilunapb @skyeliteratures @shannoncosplay @da-disappointment @memospacexx @crazyforbarnes
865 notes · View notes
mrpenguinpants · 1 year
Text
Please go out with me for tax benefits!
— When you randomly pointed to a handsome man and declared him to be your boyfriend, you didn't think it would get this out of hand. You just wanted a couples discount!
— Alhaitham, Ayato, and Kazuha
-> Part 2: Overdue Bills [Masterlist]
This was originally written for my upcoming "Help me break my engagement by marrying me instead." fic but I got carried away and it became too plot-heavy. So I made a new one. Most of these have nothing to do with money, I just thought the title was funny.
Tumblr media
Alhaitham
You blame Kaveh for this. This is entirely his fault and you will not be convinced otherwise. If he hadn't opened his big mouth to Alhaitham about the fact you've been spouting that he was your boyfriend, then you wouldn't be in this mess. It wasn't even that serious, it's not like you were actually emotionally invested with the man and this was all a delusional dream. You barely knew the guy aside from the multiple rumors about him in the first place. You just needed to access some limited-edition books for your thesis and his name happened to be the easiest way to get ahold of them. Sure, you may be lying to authority for the better half of a year about your relationship with the scribe, but it's not your fault they didn't ask questions. If you happened to threaten to tell your very scary and very influential "boyfriend" about this "mistreatment", that's just a byproduct if anything. But now you have a very irritated silver-haired man crowding into your personal space asking why the hell you're announcing to the world that you're both in a relationship. It's creepy. He called you creepy. Is this where you roll over and die in shame?
You swear you didn't think it would get this out of hand. You just happened to spot him in the background while the librarian was giving you a hard time and your dumb brain-to-mouth filter was taking a break that day. So you just blurted that you were Alhaitham's partner and that he would be very upset to hear that you were being treated this way. It's not completely far-fetched, Alhaitham seems like a very, very, private person and on the off chance you were telling the truth? Well, the poor librarian didn't want to lose her job. Besides, it's not like you were planning on doing anything illegal and you don't think you're the absolute worst person to be fake-dating.
By some stroke of luck, or maybe he felt too much pity for you, Alhaitham decides to cut you a deal rather than get you kicked out of the Akademiya. He gets multiple love letters, confessions, and heart-eyed individuals trailing after him all the time. Frankly, he's getting tired of it and since you've already taken the liberty, he won't say anything if you don't say anything. Though he makes it clear that if you ever do anything embarrassing, you're taking the fall and he's going to pretend he doesn't know you. A bit harsh but that's only a safety net. Plus it's not like you actually want to date him so he wouldn't have any commitments. The added bonus is that since he's well-known for having a...rough personality, you don't need to act affectionately with the man or go the extra mile. As long as you have each other's backing, you'll get to check out any textbook you want for free and he gets to be left alone. So for both your benefits, to the rest of the Akademiya you and him are a couple.
You should have known this deal was way too good to be true. As soon as people hear that Alhaitham acknowledges that you're his partner, they're on you like rabid fungi. In comparison to the scribe, you're far easier to prod and poke for any gossip and your quiet day-to-day life is suddenly thrown into the wind. Multiple people a day come to bother you about what it's like to date the moody man. It gets to a point where you have to actually dress incognito just to go and get some coffee. Seriously, didn't people have deadlines and exams to prepare for then to hound you down to talk about your fake love life? Alhaitham is no help either, only shrugging off your complaints and telling you that this is what you agreed to.
He's a horrible partner, fake or not. This isn't your storybook romance where he suddenly falls in love with you, he straight up ignores you sometimes! If anything, this entire situation has stopped you from feeling intimidated by him. Before you wouldn't dare approach him, his appearance and body were enough for you to shy away. You're impulsive, not blind. Alhaitham is drop-dead gorgeous but now that you've reached such an absurd situation it stops intimidating you. You begin to regularly pester the man because you know that even though you're both not actually dating, it would look really bad if he shunned you constantly.
He actually doesn't mind you. Unlike Kaveh or anyone else who interacts with him, you know how to be quiet and independent. Most of the time you both sit in silence, the only noise between the two of you being the flipping of pages and the scratching of ink against paper. If you ever do speak, it's always with a purpose. It's just a bonus that while everyone stares at your table, no one ever approaches. If they need to speak with him, they see your body right next to him and they decide to come back at a later time when he's alone.
Over time, he finds himself seeking you out instead of the other way around. He's come to find your presence comforting and it's the only time when he can actually sit down and read. Being an observant person, he starts to notice your little habits. For one, touch seems to be how you interact with others. You always bump elbows whenever you greet him, pinching his half coat whenever you want to drag him to see whatever captured your attention, and nudging his arm with your hand whenever you need him to bend down so you can whisper something into his ear. He's honestly surprised and concerned that he doesn't push you away with your skinship. If it were anyone else, he would have sent them a sharp glare and pushed him off but he doesn't for you.
All things must come to an end eventually and you've finally finished writing the last sentences for your thesis. Your pat on the back is the firm shut of a book as a deep sigh escapes your lips. Tired but relieved. The goodbye is uneventful, you simply tell him that you don't need him to pretend to be your boyfriend and he's free to live out the single life. He just nods and with that, you're gone.
No one says anything when they notice that Alhaithem sits at a table alone for the nth time that week. There are a few whispers back and forth about how you either got fed up with this attitude or he realized that he was way out of your league. Either way, everyone assumes you and Alhaithem are no longer together and his routine before you arrived settles back in. Yet, he feels off. He refuses to call it longing, you both were hardly affectionate in the first place, but he feels a bit lonely without your presence beside him. it's been plaguing his mind ever since you packed your things and left. He's hardly been able to concentrate on his book, rereading the same sentence for the fourth time before snapping it shut. Letting out a deep sigh, he runs a hand through his hair before setting it against his closed eyes. What's gotten into him?
"Is this seat taken?"
His eyes shoot open, turning around to see you with an armful of books looking expectantly at him. You look nervous and he can't lie to himself that he doesn't find that just the slightest bit endearing. He can tell that you're struggling to carry all of them from the slight shake in your hands.
"I thought our deal was over?" he says this but he gets up anyways to take the books out of your hands and places them on the table. You just roll your eyes at him because of course that's what he would say first and push forward. You're probably the only one who would act so brazenly in front of him besides Kaveh but he doesn't find it irritating when you do it.
"What? So I need to be in a relationship with you just to sit at a table? I know your ego is big but not thattt big," you stretch your words as you settle comfortably into your seat.
He wonders when he started thinking of that specific chair as yours.
"No. I suppose not," he says with an exasperated smile as he sits back down. You beam back at him as you shuffle your chair closer to him as you open your textbook, your fingertips gave that familiar tug for him to lean in closer.
"Good, because I need some help with this section. I have no idea what the hell "bloom" is."
Ayato
Although Valentine's day was mostly celebrated in Mondstadt and Sumeru, Inazuma still liked to dabble in the festivities during the day of love. Various couples' discounts on tricolored Dango or limited edition books from the Yae Publishing House. There was one popular series in particular that was having a huge discount to celebrate the holiday and even though you weren't in the market for a partner, you weren't going to pass up on such a steal. Only for your excitement to fall flat when the lady informed you that the discount was for couples only.
You can't believe this. You just stood in line for hours only for them to tell you this now? What kind of shady place was this? Of course, they didn't advertise the specifics of this sale, they knew this book was popular. People waiting in line wouldn't just walk away once they found out and they would end up paying full price! Well, two can play this game. You randomly gesture off to the side, saying that your boyfriend was just standing off to the side because he wanted to grab some refreshments. You aren't really looking where you're pointing, too busy digging through your pouch and counting your coins of mora before a sharp gasp stops you. The lady quickly bows and beams at you with a mega-watt customer service smile. She hands the book to you free of charge while profusely thanking you for your patronage. You look off to the side but you don't see anyone, but you weren't going to say no, so you shrug and take it. A free book is a free book.
To be fair, you were making it really easy for the Archons to mess with you. You hear whispers around you that you can't make out, anytime you glance at passing people, they quickly bow and shuffle along. You have a horrible sinking feeling forming in the pit of your stomach and you quickly rush home so you can avoid whatever the hell you just caused. Unfortunately, word travels fast in Inazuma, and every shop you pass by you're being confronted left and right with sales pitches and gifts of appreciation for your partner's hard work. All of which you decline, half of it because you're not actually in a relationship and the other half because you have no interest in their gifts. But you've already dug yourself this far in your grave so you just give a hasty no thank you as you try and dodge everyone who looks at you with that glimmer in their eyes. Who did you point at to receive this much praise?
Ayato is greatly confused when people approach him to congratulate him on his engagement. He wasn't planning on getting married any time soon, his duties as the Yashiro Commissioner taking up most of this time. Did the elders set someone up for him without informing him first? He's curious about who his mystery person is but everyone he asks doesn't seem to know where they went. Apparently, his fiancee is shy but humble, declining gifts from various shopkeepers no matter how expensive they are.
That's until one of the children points in your direction and his eyes slide over to you who looks just as confused as him. He's never seen you in his life and you don't look like anyone from a significant clan. He gets clued in that you boldly announced your relationship with him when you were checking out a specific book meant for couples only. Ah, he's starting to understand now. He offers a piece of candy for the helpful information as he makes his way over to you. His mysterious fiancee.
As soon as the man in front of you says Lord Kamisato's name, the uneasy weight in your stomach drops. You quickly spin on your heel to see the pale blue hair and amused light purple eyes. Oh. Oh, Archon's above, please, out of everyone you could have pointed to, please don't make it be the Yashiro Commissioner. You're about to burn this book into ashes and do a ceremony to banish whatever youkai were stored within the pages if you manage to make it out of this alive.
If Ayato was upset about this situation he's found himself in, it would be immediately wiped away because you look like you're about to collapse. He's trying his best to not laugh at your torment right in front of you, but the mix of emotions that's so openly displayed on your face is making it hard. It's obvious that you didn't mean for this to happen, you've just tripped and fallen into a web of misunderstandings. Too entangled to explain yourself without making a fool out of yourself.
If looks could kill, this storekeeper would be dead on the floor twice over. This man calls out to the Yashiro Commissioner, and just to add salt to the wound, proudly congratulates him on his engagement with you. You said nothing about an engagement, you're far too young to be thinking about that thank you very much. But Ayato just nods along with that ever-pleasant smile without bothering to correct the situation. You're not sure if you should be thankful or not. He might be planning your murder in his mind so you stay silent as well.
When Ayato's gaze shifts to you, you do what any creature does when they're in danger and there's nowhere to run. You hide. You automatically raise your book to cover your face so you don't need to look at the source of your embarrassment. Although it does nothing to hide just how red your face is, you don't see him and that's good enough for you. But this also means you don't see the questioning glance the storekeeper shoots Ayato about your behavior, to which Ayato gives a pleasant smile and waves a hand to dismiss the situation.
"Please excuse my fiancee, we didn't mean to announce our engagement so early," Ayato muses, and the storekeeper nods in understanding while you bring your book down low enough to peer over the edges of the pages. Is...is he covering for you? He looks down expectantly at you but when you don't move, he awkwardly coughs into his fist and tilts his head toward the shopkeeper.
"A-Ah yes, that's right! It was a slip of the tongue and I hadn't realized I said it out loud. Please excuse my behavior," you bow and you can hear Ayato turning his head to snort into his hand. This is awful. You think you would prefer if he just outted you so you didn't need to show the world how awful your acting skills are. This is why you read plays, not star in them. But the shopkeeper nods in understanding, apologizing for saying your engagement so loud for others to hear before you're leaving with Ayato's arm wrapped around your waist.
"I'm deeply sorry. There was a discount for couples only and I just pointed in a random direction and it just happened to land on you. I swear I didn't mean to start any of this," you quickly rush out as you bow before Ayato as soon as you're out of sight from the public eye. He still has that annoying look in his eyes but you're completely at his mercy right now. The smug bastard definitely knows that.
"It's no trouble at all. I found the situation quite entertaining," he chuckles before looking you up and down. Okay...a tiny bit weird but you suppose your actions are worse. There's a long silence between the two of you as if he's pondering something and you've had enough of today's events.
"Um...well if that's everything I'll be getting out of your hair. Please enjoy the rest of your day Lord Kamisato," you mumble as you turn to leave but his hand hooks onto the back of your kimono and drags you right back.
"Ah, ah. It would make a bad impression if my fiancee suddenly left me on Valentine's Day. Oh and please, call me Ayato," he smiles that same polite smile but his eyes tell a different story entirely. His smile even widens at how hard you're biting your lip as you match his with a strained one. For Archon's sake, you just wanted to buy a book, how did you get into this mess?!
Kazuha
As soon as Inazuma's borders reopened, you were jumping on the fastest ship back to Liyue. You even got extra lucky that your good friend Beidou happened to be on the pier and offered you a well-deserved ride back to your home free of charge. You've been so homesick but unable to leave due to the regulation the Electro Archon placed, so to say that you were excited to finally go back was an understatement. Although the Crux Fleet was mainly an armed carrier delivering goods between places separated by sea, it did occasionally transport passengers if they paid enough. It only made sense that others would be like you and wish to return home as soon as possible. It's too bad that one of them happened to take one look at you and decide that you were born to be his.
It's an incredibly awkward affair. This wealthy businessman doesn't appear to mean any harm but he's incredibly dense with no sense of social awareness. Although you've politely declined his advances, he doesn't seem to stop. Even when Beidou herself threatens to throw the man overboard, he just keeps his distance and makes heart eyes at you. Unfortunately for you, Beidou can't actually throw him into the cruel watery depths no matter how much you plead with her. The man seems to be an important figure from Snezhnaya so she can't exactly treat him badly. Thus you spend most of your time ducking away and running away from your creepy admirer.
You're usually not so bold but the mix of overwhelming homesickness and just wanting to get this journey over and done with, all of it compels you to act rashly. If your new admirer can't take a simple no then you'll find a different way and show him you're off limits. You've seen the man who sits on the crow's nest, you believe Beidou said his name was Kazuha, whose been a part of her crew for a while now. You've only made passing small talk with each other and he seems like a nice person, at least you hope so. Because as soon as his feet touch the ship's deck, you're throwing yourself at him. You have to give him credit, he has lightning-fast reflexes and is a lot stronger than his demeanor expresses since he manages to catch you and stop you both from sprawling across the floor.
You make a show of throwing your arms around him and whining about how he doesn't spend enough time with poor dear you. You can tell he's infinitely confused so you lean in and whisper into his ear about your creepy stalker who can't take a no. Your eyes desperately plead with him to play along with you, just until the ship reaches Liyue Harbour. It only takes Kazuha to look over your shoulder and lock gazes with said "stalker" before he's turning to you with the most tender smile on his lips and a soft apology for being neglectful. A promise to spend more quality time to make up for his behavior. You swear that should have been an omen because you feel your heart stop for a second right then and there.
It's not completely out there. As the lookout, he would have to stay up in the crow's nest most of the day, and given how soft spoken Kazuha normally is, he doesn't look like the confrontational type. But he does make good on his fake promise and you find yourself spending most of your time in the crow's nest with Kazuha rather than ducking into the shadows of the lower deck. Kazuha is a relaxing presence and you can understand why he stays up here rather than with the rest of the crew. The gentle sea breeze brushes through your hair and it's so peaceful all the way up in the sky. You're almost jealous that he has an anemo vision because you think you'd love to stay in the winds forever.
He's also a gentleman through and through. You're not entirely sure if he's just pretending alongside you or if that's just how he normally acts. You think both options are equally plausible and endearing. At some point, you forget that you're supposed to be doing this for show to keep a creepy man away from you and you genuinely start to seek him out. It's during one night when you watch Kazuha whistle a tune through a leaf that you realize just how deep you're in. Now your position is reversed and you start to feel like the creepy heart-eyed stalker. It's something that you must absolutely not let happen, not on your watch.
Your sudden distance from Kazuha leaves him a bit hurt. He knows that this originally started as an act but he felt that you and him were getting close to each other without any ulterior motives. That all your talks of your dreams and aspiration were real and meaningful. But now that you've suddenly pulled back, he question's if everything was made up in his head. It's not like you owe him anything, he decided to help you out from of his own volition. Beidou can only look at this scene painfully at her two idiotic friends pushing themselves away from each other because they can't sit down and talk it out.
She drags the two of you into a private room, her only warning to fix your emotional angst or she really will throw you both overboard. You both know she's entirely serious so you both obediently nod as she slams the door closed.
Beidou leans against the wooden crates with her head propped up with her arm. She should probably stop watching, she's being far too nosy with her friend's love life, but what kind of friend would she be if she wasn't? She hopes you both managed to talk it out and realize that you're both crushing hard on each other. She had been far too busy with Liyue fastly approaching to check in on your progress but from the looks of things, she thinks everything went well. With the red cheeks and your fingertips linked together, it's so cute that she wants to gag on her wine. Don't get her wrong, she's happy for you and Kazuha, but any more of this puppy love is going to send her into an early grave.
"You're not going to stay in Liyue?" she overhears you say. Huh? She honestly thought that Kazuha might pitch a tent and finally settle down with you but the small shake of his head and your fallen expression says otherwise. Damn, talk about a heartbreaker. But he gives you a soft expression, something really vulnerable, and his hand comes up to caress your cheek- and that's her cue to turn away. That's something that even she knows she shouldn't be watching. She instead takes another swig of her cup.
"Captain."
She looks up to see Kazuha standing beside her, the air of nature and sea breeze clinging to him wherever he goes. She politely doesn't bring up the charm clutched tightly in his hands.
"You sure about this kid?" Beidou asks, her eyes still trained on her empty cup of booze. She doesn't need to look to know that he's watching your back disappear into the crowd longingly.
"If I try to force something I know I'm not ready to finish, it would only lead to disaster. Right now isn't the right time. But I'm sure in the future, our paths will cross again," Kazuha nods to himself solemnly. This time Beidou does look at him before she shows a fond smile herself before she brings her arm back and slaps it against Kazuha's back. It's loud and hard enough to jolt him out of his temporary sadness.
"If you ever need a ride back to Liyue, just let me know. We'll get you there in no time lover boy," Beidou grins cheekily as Kazuha flushes a bright red. How cute, he can't even be honest with himself huh?
8K notes · View notes
deandoesthingstome · 7 months
Text
Forest Fantasy
Pairing: Werewolf!Walter Marshall x Reader
Summary: There's a new hotel in town. It can't possibly be what it's advertised as, can it?
Word Count: 6.5K
Warnings: 18+, NO MINORS, cunnilingus, p in v (missionary and doggy style), monster fucking (right?).
A/N: I was considering waiting until Oct, but it's a fucking Super Moon tonight so let's gooooo.....!!!!!
Tumblr media
When The Fantasy Hotel opened up in town, you scoffed at first. "What’s with this name? What kind of depravity is this? Why can't folks just fuck in their own homes?" you thought to yourself. “At least they have someone to fuck. Why must they flaunt their relationships in my face this way?”
But then you heard the whispers. The suggestions. The innuendos. A few of your online friends, who know you'd been through a dry spell for some time now, had been asking if you'd given any thought to trying it out and you were...confused. They wouldn't say outright what they'd heard about the place, but curiosity got the better of you. 
You opened the incognito browser and typed the hotel name and were...shocked. Shocked at the images and the rave reviews. This hotel wasn't strictly for couples. As a matter of fact, it was designed for singles. And you shut your laptop quickly, convinced this wasn't for you and worried what your anonymous, online friends must think of you. You broached the subject delicately, so as not to offend in case maybe they didn't really know what they were asking about.
MNstrluvr: Come on. You've read the fics. You've liked and commented. Are you really saying you weren't into it? The idea of it?
sendmeanangel: I was sucked in by the phenomenal writing. You know me. I read anything if it's told well, descriptive, immersive, get you out of your head.
darkgothnightengale: This is THAT. But IRL. You're fucking lucky they picked your town to open the first one. You HAVE to try it and tell us how it is!!!
sendmeanangel: Have you seen the prices?
darkgothnightengale: We chipped in.
sendmeanangel:...
MNstrluvr: Come on! We're dying to know first hand from someone we actually know. Please. For science!
It took a few more gentle prods and pokes, with promises of no jokes unless you gave specific permission. And under NO CIRCUMSTANCES were your friends allowed to post anything that even vaguely alluded to the fact that you were trying the place out. Private DMs and Super Private Chat Room discussions only.
Your visit was booked. You opted for a brief stay only. Two hours. You couldn't bring yourself to book a longer stay and the theme you selected was one that allowed for less than full evenings. It was also the only slot available on the day you were able to ask off work. 
You showered and primped, pampering yourself with your favorite body wash and lotion, knowing how good it made you feel to be fresh and clean and smelling delicious. You checked your clothes and your makeup in the full length mirror by your apartment door, opting not to change for the fiftieth time since stepping out of the shower. A few final items stuffed into your travel satchel and the large floppy hat on your head you'd bought specifically to hide your face as you made your way into the hotel and you were off for your adventure, trepidation buzzing around your insides and threatening to derail your purpose.
Your friends had paid and you figured you were already past a normal hotel refund window, so paying them back would mean picking up a few extra shifts on top of your already hectic university schedule. Besides, you didn't want to disappoint them. They were so curious to know if the stories that were starting to pop-up on Tumblr did any justice to the experience. You really couldn’t imagine this was anything more than some extremely well put together costumes and perhaps use of silicon implements, which had you really wondering about sanitation, but whatever.
The cab pulled up at the hotel entrance and a petite woman with a pixie cut stepped forward to open the door and help you out. She gave a warm smile with no hint of derision or teasing about the hat as she welcomed you sincerely and led you through the front doors, depositing you at the registration desk.
"Enjoy your stay!" she beamed at you, with a conspiratorial wink before heading back out to, you assumed, await the next guest.
You called out a thanks after her, then turned to the front desk attendant, who welcomed you by name.
"You have the only check in slot at this time," he answered your unspoken question with a kind smile. "We stagger arrival on purpose to ensure privacy for our guests. Especially first time visits. We have you booked in the Deep Forest Suite for the next two hours, and it looks like you requested the basket add on. That will be waiting for you in the room. Since it is your first time, we just need you to sign a few waivers and I'll run through the hotel safety rules for you. A copy has also been sent to your email, if you want to check them during your stay. But also, rest assured, your host is well versed and knows exactly how to keep you safe. You are in good hands here, I promise."
Every word spoken carefully and with respect, every inflection designed to put your worries at ease. If you had butterflies going in, you'd never know it now. You had taken notice of the lush and inviting lobby, dark wood furniture covered in rich velvet, chandeliers and wall sconces casting a warm glow around you. There was nothing menacing or untoward, nothing like you had expected, even after seeing the interior photos online. You'd experienced marketing ploys before. This wasn't glue disguised as milk or fries on toothpicks to stand up straight in the box or a long angle shot of the tiniest pool ever. Everything so far was exactly as depicted and you were impressed.
Then you remembered the photo of your host and had to swallow hard. You had assumed it was a doctored image, maybe some unique lighting to draw attention. But if the decor was real, then maybe he was too. The rules were oddly specific for an experience with a guy in a costume.
Maybe everything you had assumed about the nature of this hotel was wrong. 
"Everything okay?" the clerk asked with a furrowed brow. "Is there something worrisome about the rules?"
"Oh. No. No everything is fine. I'm just..." you trailed off. Nervous wasn't the right word. Nor were you embarrassed, as you thought you would be. The door attendant, the desk clerk...neither had made you feel anything but welcome and safe and not self-conscious at all.
"It's perfectly reasonable to feel a little apprehension your first time. If it makes you feel better, you should know: you actually can opt out at any time. We do have to retain a portion of the room fee, but a partial refund is available. Should you change your mind."
"That's nice to know, thank you. I think I'll be okay."
"Then let's get you to your room,” he clapped his hands together with a mirth. “427. Elevator is down the hall and there are directional signs, but I'm happy to escort you if you'd like."
"I think I'll manage, but thank you."
As he placed the key in your possession and sent you on your way, the reality sunk in a little deeper. Weighed down by the heavy iron key in your hand as you rode the elevator to the fourth floor and stepped down the hall to your room, you could no longer deny what was about to occur.
You were headed into the wolf's den.
Tumblr media
The door unlocked with a satisfying click as you turned the iron key. You were transported to a lush forest setting when you stepped into the room. Or as close as you could get indoors, anyway. A carpet of deep, soft green lay on the floor beneath your feet, and you immediately slipped out of your shoes to feel the cool material on your skin. It was impossibly silky, smooth, and comforting.
Large potted fir and pine plants lined the walls and stood in corners. At least a few held miniature deciduous trees and some with limbs stretching across the ceiling. You finally let your eyes fall on the chunky, four-poster bed, the legs, head- and foot-boards crafted of smooth finished logs you might find in a high-end cabin or ski chalet and covered in a thick feather mattress wrapped in luxurious blankets and piled high with pillows.
A picnic basket sat prim and proper on the coffee table nestled between two plump, overstuffed chairs and you had just reached out to peek beneath the deep red cloth when the door closed softly behind you and a throat cleared.
"I hope I haven't startled you."
You turned and gasped as you took in the sight of one of the largest, and, for lack of a better description because your brain was starting to fail you, manliest men you'd ever set eyes on. His photograph might have been deceptive, but only because it didn't do him justice. He wore a thick, blue cable knit sweater and dark gray cargo pants that seemed to mold around his thighs. He was barefoot, which surprised you a little, but then who were you to judge at the moment?
You caught his smirk as you lifted your gaze to appreciate the rugged beard and full head of chocolate curls that framed his face, offsetting mesmerizing blue eyes.
"I'm Walter," he offered you his hand as he spoke your name with a gentle growl. "It's a pleasure to meet you."
"You're not..." you stopped yourself, suddenly embarrassed at how eager you'd found yourself. "Forgive me. That may have been a rude way to start."
"It's okay," he chuckled. "This isn't the form you signed up for, but I've found it more enjoyable to at least meet in this state. If I bounded in here all claws and snarls, we wouldn't have a chance to speak first. And I prefer to have at least a quick chat, if that's okay with you."
"It's fine," you whispered, your throat dry though your mouth was watering.
Walter stepped past you and reached a large mitt into the basket to pull out a bottle of water.
"Would you like to talk with me a bit?" he asked, offering you the bottle. Your eyes lingered on the basket, though, curious what else might be in there. The amenity said “Fantasy Basket”, so it could have just been a riff on the hotel name, but still, you had assumed…
“Did you not get a chance to peek before I arrived?” he asked as you took a sip of water.
“No. Do you know what’s in there?”
“I do,” another chuckle, deeper and darker than before. “Do you want to know now, or later?”
“We don’t have a lot of time, do we?” you asked, suddenly aware and mentally kicking yourself for thinking you didn’t need more than a few hours to get the lay of the land. Literally, you snorted at your internal joke.
“Something funny?”
“Lay of the land,” you replied with a grin and as he laughed with you, you caught sight of his canines. They seemed a little longer than when you saw them in his first grin. At the moan that slipped from your throat, he darkened again.
“That it will be.”
You gasped and squeezed your thighs, clenching at the reverberation in his voice. Something had changed from even just the moment before when he’d entered the room. Aside from the physical appearance, you sensed a shift in the air, something wavering in the ether around you. A heat crept from your core to your cheeks, through your spine and settled into your chest. You were breathless.
“How do we…um, how does this start?”
“We’ve already started, haven’t we?” he replied, a little mysteriously. “Sit with me?”
What made you drop to the floor beneath you instead of onto the comfortable looking seat, you couldn’t say, but here you were resting back on your heels as you took another drink of water from the glass bottle in your hand.
“I was going to suggest the chairs, but if you prefer the ground, I’m happy to say I do too.”
Walter stepped forward and lowered himself to the ground beside you, one knee splayed wide and almost touching yours, the other knee bent with an elbow draped over it as he leaned toward you. You could swear you caught him sniffing the air.
“I don’t know what to say,” you spoke with caution, suddenly overwhelmed. The day was just becoming a series of flip-flops in your mind as you imagined yourself, sometimes bold and determined to experience what you could, then timid and nervous as the reality overcame you. Once at ease and open, now shy and reserved.
“That’s okay,” Walter replied. “The better for me to begin.”
Why did that sound like such a familiar phrase? You took another drink and nodded for him to continue.
“I’d like to continue our time together by undressing you, one way or another. You have a choice, which you can leave to me if you’d like. I can do it now, in this form,” he paused, cocked his head to one side, then the other as he cracked his neck. “Or I can shift, in your presence or not, and do it that way.”
What did he mean by “shift”? Surely, he must mean change. As in undress and don a mask. But then you remembered his teeth, somehow longer. And you thought about the subtle way the atmosphere seemed to shimmer and transport you and you wondered if he really did mean “shift.’
“That sounds like two choices,” you whispered and caught his grin, canines even longer than before.
“Perceptive. I like it. Need a few moments?”
“What happens after I’m…I mean, I know what happens, I guess… but just, like, how…” you trailed off, not really sure what you were asking.
“We’re playing a game here, really. That’s all. It can be as simple or intricate as you’d like, though, you’re right. Our time is ticking away.”
“You do it.” You rushed, barely letting him finish his response. 
“Here or…?”
“I’ll close my eyes.” The thought of watching his shift, though intriguing, also made you wonder if it would make you more nervous than you already suddenly found yourself again. Maybe it was better to just jump in and get started, as much as you were also enjoying speaking with Walter in his human form. 
“Why don’t you take the basket into the bathroom? Pick out whatever intrigues you for use and come out when you’re ready. I’ll shift before you return. Sound okay?”
You nodded and he helped you to stand, then handed you the basket and gently urged you toward the bathroom door. Before he let go of your arm, he stepped in close, slipping his hand over yours and pressing it to his chest as he tugged you toward him. 
“Do you mind if I give you one kiss this way before we meet next? You can say no, but it’s nice, I think, a good way to gauge your interest.”
Did he somehow think you weren’t interested? How had you hidden the drool from him? You’d been too quiet, clearly. Mesmerized by everything that had happened already in such a short time and you’d lost your voice, unable to truly communicate your desire. You were ruining everything, obviously.
“I’d like to kiss you very much,” you admitted, peering up into his eyes, which you now noticed were not the 100% blue you’d originally thought. Was this man really about to change shape? Did it matter? It didn’t matter in the least as far as how well he could kiss you, because while you were contemplating the genetics of the man in front of you, he was leaning down to capture your lips in what started as a chaste, closed mouth peck that grew steadily more intense as you felt his free arm slip up your back to settle a hand against the nape of your neck while yours slipped around his waist and urged him closer, as if you were guided by some unknown force. You felt his tongue lick along your bottom lip and you opened your mouth to him as if you’d known him your whole life.
With your hand still pressed against his sternum, you could feel his heart beat faster as each second passed and the kiss grew more heated. When he pulled away you actually whined.
“I’m glad to see you are interested,” he teased with a grin before he spun you toward the door again and pressed you inside. “Now hop on in and don’t take too long. I want to treat you for as long as I can.”
Tumblr media
The bathroom was just as sumptuous as the main room. A dark tiled shower took up one entire wall of the room and you couldn’t tell if the color was black or just the deepest forest green you’d ever seen. Instead of a curtain or sliding door, a glass panel separated the shower from the rest of the room with an opening opposite the brass water valves to step in. What you imagined must be a rain shower head jutted out from the ceiling. You didn’t want to waste any more of your precious time, but wondered if there’d be any left to enjoy this shower when all was said and done. The rest of the bathroom fixtures and amenities would have to wait for inspection, since you needed to pay attention to your basket. You set it on the veined marble counter and finally lifted the cloth completely off. 
Only the cloth wasn’t exactly a cloth. It was a cape, tucked neatly on top of a few more bottles of water, a small loaf of bread, some cut cheeses and fruit in a covered bowl. And that was it for the tame picnic items.
You pulled a short, white peasant dress trimmed in lace and a red apron with black satin ribbon criss-crossing the front out of the basket, along with what appeared to be a pair of black fishnet stockings and thought of Walter’s comments. Were you expected to change or only if you wanted this part of the experience? Finally, you noticed a few heavy leather straps and as you pulled them from the basket you realized they must be meant as restraints, but for whom? You or him? You also noticed a distinct lack of silicon implements.
You heard a rustle of some sort outside the bathroom door, reminding you that Walter was waiting and time was fleeting and you really needed to make a decision about how you wanted to enter the room again. Walter had suggested you take the basket with you. And he was going to be … different when you saw him again, wasn’t he? And you had asked him to undress you. Maybe he anticipated that undressing would be … vigorous. What if this costume was meant for that? You had brought a change of clothes but didn’t think you’d be leaving here with one less outfit in your already sparse wardrobe.
Your mind made up, you stripped quickly and donned the outfit, amazed at how simple the apron was to slip over your head, then pull the satin ties tight with your own hand. You always imagined an intricate article of intimate clothing like this would take so much more effort. Maybe it would be something you’d feel comfortable and confident enough to do outside this hotel someday.
For now, you were drawn back into the moment with a thud on the door and a low growl that sounded like “Come out.”
You finished dressing, wrapping the cape around your neck and drawing up the hood. You still weren’t wearing shoes, so you could feel the ground through the wide gaps of the fishnets as you stepped back into the room, picnic basket on your arm. It felt different. More uneven. Crunchy leaves crackled beneath as you stepped onto what now felt like real grass, fading to dirt, fading to ground littered with pine needles and dry leaves. Ferns peaked out from the tree trunks. And a supermoon shone overhead.
This was not your room. It was on the other side of the bathroom door, to be fair, but this was not the room you’d stepped into 20 minutes ago. And yet, how could it be anything but? A twig snapped to your left and drew your attention as you realized you didn’t see Walter. You’d thought he’d be right outside the door, waiting for you, maybe in a chair, maybe on the bed. But you didn’t see him, only his clothes folded neatly on the table where your picnic basket had been. Suddenly, you felt a rush of air next to you.
“What are you doing here, little one?”
You had a hard time deciding what to focus on as the words were spoken. The actual choice of the words themselves, which harkened back to that story that drifted through the tendrils of your mind, whispering “You know me?” Or the rough, low way those words tumbled from him, hungry and full of want. Was this the game?
“Your voice sounds so strange, Walter. Is everything okay?” you asked, plucking the words from the cobwebs in your head.
“I think I just swallowed some water wrong.”
You took a deep breath and turned, ready to catch him, ready to see. He was glorious and you were awestruck. It took a few moments of taking in the sight of his body, arms slightly elongated, up on the balls of his feet, hair that looked like chocolate silk covering his body but not in a way that you couldn’t see the tone and definition of his skin underneath, nose and mouth pulled forward, ears up. Ears up.
“Walter, what big ears you have,” you cooed, reaching up to touch them, though waiting for the assent in his eyes. When you could see he would allow it, you brushed your fingers along the back side, then scratched a little in the crease where they met his head and he closed his eyes for a moment. His eyes.
“Walter, what big eyes you have,” your voice a bit lower, sultry, as if the confidence you’d lost earlier had found its way back to you. He opened them and you’d have sworn sparks flew as his deep blue eyes pierced yours before you saw him drag his gaze over your face, down your neck, back and forth between your breasts, unfortunately still covered. He must have felt the same because he didn’t linger on the clothes, but when he reached your thighs, clad in the black hose he snarled, baring his sharp teeth. Sharp teeth.
“Walter,” you teased. “What big teeth you have.”
“The better to eat you with, my dear,” he growled and pounced, swatting the picnic basket to the ground before lifting you by the waist and hoisting you over his shoulder. He only needed a few steps before he could toss you back onto the plump bed. Your cape hood dropped off your head and your dress skirt hiked up a little, but not like it mattered. 
Walter was between your legs, nudging your thighs wide with his own as he folded himself over you, arms caging your head. With a snarl, he began to nuzzle down your neck, sniffing along the way.
“You smell good,” he grunted as he drew a paw over your chest. “Smelled you from the moment I walked in the room, but I wanted to be closer. Like this.”
You peered down towards his hand and noticed the sharp claw of what should be an index finger drawn back and ready to slice through the black satin down your breast. The apron draped to your sides as easily as you’d put it on, practically one handed, and it was gone now. You didn’t really care if the white dress met the same fate as the apron, but the cape was quality. Surely there was no need to ruin it. You reached to untie the bow at your neck just as Walter sliced easily through the front of the dress. The rip as he reared back and grabbed a side of split fabric in both hands to finish the job was satisfying. 
Since you’d decided to just leave off the bra and panties for the sake of time, you were now left like an unwrapped package on the bed, intricately woven stretchy black thread the only thing sitting between you and Walter. Your chest was heaving and so was his. And since he was now up on his knees instead of bent over you, you had a chance to glance away from his face toward his hips and you had to bite your lip. 
He was huge. Like, possibly not gonna fit huge. He must have seen the hesitation on your face.
“Don’t worry,” came the sound as he dropped back off the bed, knelt on the floor, hooked his arms under your thighs, and tugged you to the edge of the bed. You felt his nuzzle against the skin of your belly, the warm, wet air of his exhale trailing down your side, into the crook of your thigh, and finally settling right on top of your cunt. He was so deft as he slipped a finger into your slit, then cut the thread between your legs as he pulled the finger free, widening the hole to give him greater access.
The noises you made could absolutely be interpreted as nothing other than consent, but you wanted to make sure he didn’t stop, as the contract said he could if he had any doubt about your permission. There could be no doubt.
“Please, don’t stop. Put your mouth on me. Make me cum.”
There was the slightest of huffs, as if he was smiling the briefest of victory smiles, before his assail began. It was measured, it was slow, it was a thorough gathering of information. It was infuriating. As you were about to open your impatient mouth and remind him that the clock was ticking the minutes away, like the insufferable bitch she was, he shifted tactics.
Every little nuance he’d taken note of, every amount of pressure and length of lick that produced some desired effect was now fortified. This was the only thing he did. And at a brisker rate, as if he’d calculated the pleasure you’d derived at the low speed and determined the exponential pleasure you’d get from the real speed. 
They had not put mathematical genius in his bio, but here you were getting eaten alive better than anyone had ever done it before. And you dared say, maybe after. This could get expensive.
When you couldn’t take it anymore, when you were afraid the remaining time had to be expired because you kept awakening from mind bending bliss to find him still lapping and sucking at your pussy as if he just got started and how long had it been, my gods, you grabbed hold of the curly hair around his head and tugged as you begged.
“Stop. Stop,” you were breathless. “Walter, please stop. It’s so good. It’s too good. I don’t want you to stop but we have to stop. My time must be up, I have to go.”
His laugh wasn’t cruel, but it was sinister “We have time. Don’t worry. I made sure.”
You didn’t dare look at the clock. Your gaze was locked into his anyway, whites of his eyes replaced by a deep, lustful red. He held your stare while dragging his tongue and snout along your heated skin.
He slipped an arm under your waist, tugging your torso in one direction as he stepped a hind leg up to nudge your hips in the other. He settled in between your legs once he had you parallel to the edge of the bed. You threw your arms over your head as he caressed your outer thigh, coaxing it around his waist while bending to savor the scent you'd released for him. When he was satisfied, he moved again to climb over your body.
You were aching for him, arching into the heat radiating from the closeness of his form. As you reached for his neck to pull him even closer, you realized why he'd kissed you before the turn. It would be awkward now to put your mouth on his. The shape didn't lend itself to an easy slotting of lips against one another, though you yearned for the recent memory.
As if he could sense your desire, he leaned in and nuzzled against your neck, behind your ear, then along your throat. He pushed your chin up with his muzzle to bare your pulse to him and then he nipped.
You whimpered at the sensation and even as he licked to soothe it, he did it again, a little harder, just shy of breaking skin.
"Please," you begged, eager to feel the power, though you knew it was strictly forbidden and you trusted he did as well.
His growl was full of bravado, as if he was proud to have you begging him to break the rules.
"You wanna get me in trouble?" Walter grumbled in your ear as he ran his paws up and down your body, dragging his claws carefully over your skin. He snarled when they snagged on the stockings and looked to you for approval before he tore them away from your legs completely.
"If you can't bite me, then at least mate me," you pleaded, knowing full well he couldn't do that either but you were too far gone to care. It would at least get him thinking about sinking his cock in you one way or another.
He reached for the drawer of the heavy wooden night stand and produced a few foil packets, dropping all but one on the bedside table and handing you the last, prompting an eyebrow raised in question from you. His response was measured, as if he struggled to control something deep inside.
"You have another choice to make," he began with a low rumble as he sought understanding in your eyes. "I can't mate you directly and I'm sure you know that. I have access to...toys, equipment that would allow you to feel that sensation, but it won't be me. If instead, you're willing to use protection with me, I will gladly fill you up."
If he wouldn't go bare, so be it. He wiggled his claws as you attempted to hand him the packet, sure you'd make a debacle of trying to sheath the monster between his legs.
"Just to be safe, you'd better do it. These are pretty sharp. That ok?" he grunted at you in question.
You nodded and scooted out from under him, up the bed so you had a little leverage. He kept a knee on the mattress as he stood tall from his other hind leg still on the floor and waited for you to tear the package and roll the condom down his cock.
"Is there anything special I need to do to make it fit?" you asked, vaguely aware of how ridiculous the question sounded but eager nonetheless to get past this part and onto the one where Walter would be deep inside you, filling every inch, stroking every wall. You'd already seen the size, but forgotten your initial trepidation thanks to the glorious head he'd given you.
Surely, no standard drugstore rubber would cover it. His huff was kind, and you could swear you saw the twinkle of a smile in his eyes as he answered.
"We bring them in special. They're designed for a ... more substantial, and sometimes even exotic, need. But if you know how to use one, you know how to use them all. Still alright?"
You nodded with a smile, and set to work, letting the heft and feel of his member draw you back into your haze of lust and desire now that logistics were out of the way. You worked the rubber over his girth and found yourself imagining what it would be like to have him split you in two. You couldn't wait and he could tell.
"So eager," he grumbled as he grasped your shoulders and eased you onto your back.
You thought about trying to tame your excitement, but to what end? For a brief moment the thought that you surely didn't have much more time left flitted through your mind and then you let the excitement and anticipation take over.
"Please take me now," you begged and captured the side of your lower lip with your teeth as you once again pictured the incoming pleasure.
"If anything feels uncomfortable, you can tell me to stop," he murmured in your ear as he lowered himself over you. "Say 'woodsman' and I stop. Understood?"
He pulled back to find your reply and when he had his confirmation he didn't hold back any further. As if no time had passed between when he had coaxed so much moisture from your core and now, you were still dripping for him when he grabbed ahold of his thick member and placed the tip at your entrance.
Any other man would have slid in easily, but Walter wasn't any other man and he knew it. Once the tip breached your aching pussy, he carefully nudged a knuckle alongside, pressing in and loosening the way. You spread your legs wider for him and willed your walls to relax, though they wouldn't.
Remembering what he said during the exchange about the condom, you pulled a hand off his shoulder, down his furry chest, and in between your bodies, reaching for the spot where you were connected. The growl he let out when he realized what you were doing was invigorating and spurred you on.
You watched him bend his head down so he could take in the sight of you stroking him a few times before you began to massage the folds at your entrance. You let your fingers tease your clit and when you couldn't stand it any longer, a time which you were sure had already passed, you split your index and middle finger and gently coaxed your opening wider.
As he felt the ease, Walter sank ever deeper until he was bottomed out and pressed as far in as he could. You saw stars, immediately, and loosened even more, coating him with warmth and juices that helped his movements.
In another time, with another man, that may have been it. Most men, if they even took the time to draw an orgasm from you through the missionary position, would collapse in almost relief as soon as you came, spending their load and ending the night then and there.
But you'd already established Walter was no mere man. He took your sigh as his cue to help you feel that way again and again. And when he couldn't tear another orgasm from you in this position, no matter how hard he pumped or how high he got your legs over his head, he pulled out and flipped you to all fours and slammed back in from behind, eager to wrench at least one last shout of pleasure from your lips before he spilled his seed in the condom and sent you to your belly with a slap on your ass as he withdrew from you entirely.
Tumblr media
"Am I charged extra for that?" you mustered the energy to ask once he'd returned from the bathroom. You peeled one exhausted eye open to see he was back to his human form, though still completely unclothed and you wondered if anyone was lucky enough to enjoy that experience as well.
"Sorry?" he asked, a quizzical look on his face.
"Does this place charge by the volume? Was there a limit to the number of orgasms allowed? I imagine it has to be like the extra mini-bar charges they tack onto your bill when you check out of any other hotel, right?"
His laugh was deep and infectious. It reverberated through the room and your chest as he climbed into the bed beside you with the bowl of cheese and fruit in one hand and the bread in the other.
"We don't have a limit. You can have as many as you want. Care for a snack? Get your energy back?” Walter took the time to feed you small bites while your boneless body slowly recovered.
"We have to be so far over my time limit. Am I about to turn into a pumpkin now?" you asked after swallowing a final bite of bread.
Walter laughed again and it warmed your heart. Maybe he was just a really good actor, but nothing so far had rang false, so why would he try to fake this? He thought you were funny.
"No, nothing so drastic. But if you do want to rinse off before checkout, you should get a move on. I could carry you if you're still not up to moving just yet?"
You nodded, and as if you weighed nothing, Walter lifted you from the bed and deposited you in the shower cabin, away from the shower head while he fiddled with the water faucet. Once the steam began to rise, he pulled you in with him and helped you lather up and rinse off, careful to keep your hair away from the spray as best he could. Then he dried you off with a fluffy towel and helped you dress in your extra set of clothes, before tucking the cape in your bag with your original outfit.
"It's part of the basket fee," he answered your unasked question with a ridiculous wink. "If you book it again, they'll give you a discount, but you'll have to remember to bring it with you."
As you stepped out of the bathroom, the room again appeared as it did when you first entered what felt like hours ago. Surely more than two. Walter could sense your confusion.
“The hotel has some special features we don’t actually advertise,” he offered, as he pulled on his pants. “We use them at our discretion, but it means you get an experience unlike others. This room, for example, truly can transform into a deep forest. And I like to stretch the time here, especially for newcomers. When you walk out into that hall, it’ll be two hours since your arrival. We’ve been here for longer though. But do me a favor, wouldja? Keep that to yourself?” 
You nodded and smiled, appreciative of his special treatment, then took one last look around the room to make sure you hadn't forgotten anything. Walter walked you to the door and gave you a final kiss goodbye.
“I do hope everything was to your satisfaction. Hopefully, you’ll come back sometime,” he grinned at you as you stumbled backwards down the hall, not wanting to turn away from his gorgeous face. You were absolutely going to figure out a way to pick up some extra shift and make your way back to this hotel again if it killed you.
Bonus Edit: Absolutely GORGEOUS headers made for me by my wonderful friend in fic @geralts-yenn:
Tumblr media
Everything HC Taglist: (as always, let me know if you want on or off)
@sillyrabbit81 @mayloma @geralts-yenn @raccoon-eyed-rebel @fvckinghenrycavill @kebabgirl67 @beck07990 @itsrubberbisquit @sweetdreamsofgelato @liveoncoffeeandflowersss @alexakeyloveloki @marantha @aireraume @angelmather1 @lizzystuffsthings @enchantedbytomandhenry @omgkatinka @littlefreya @avengersfan25 @just-chirpin @thesaucynomad @valacirca @henryownsme @summersong69 @foxyjwls007
Special tag: @kittenofdoomage (cause sometimes you love my stuff and this one's a monster fucker lol!)
Werewolf!walter only (if you asked on the teaser):
@ellethespaceunicorn (hope this is okay! Tag me in whichever HC character werewolf you end up with!) @juliaorpll78 @martha-oi @cardierreh15 if you asked and aren't here, Tumblr won’t let me tag you. Sorry!
849 notes · View notes
flashiefloo · 3 months
Text
DP x DC prompt 8
Not sure what's addressed in canon about Danny's job duties as Ghost King (and it's been too long since I've seen the show that I don't remember much anyhow). But I like to think that part of his duties is helping any ghosts in the various universes who are stuck (for whatever reason they have keeping them there) move on and properly join The Infinite Realms. A job that has been seriously neglected, both by Pariah Dark when he wasn't in the Infinite Nap time Coffin and later by the Observants.
Only issue is, he keeps getting mistaken for a necromancer. Since he's trying to be incognito and goes most places in his human form. But looking human and essentially raising ghosts doesn't help his case. At least until JLD are called in for the current universe he's in (since most of the people trying to "stop" him aren't particularly magically inclined). Constantine takes one look at Danny and just kinda nopes out of there, cuz he ain't about to fuck with the Ghost King doing one of his more important duties (which also helps them out too. Having less angry spirits that're stuck here).
JLD does give him a some sort of way to signal in other universes that he's allowed to be there and do what he's doing (and that he isn't a necromancer) to those who aren't able to tell who he is. Tho this doesn't always stop some universes from calling on their JLD. Who mostly just roll their eyes at being sent to something that's not a threat, or take it as a minor vacation from more stressful things.
840 notes · View notes
joeys-babe · 2 months
Text
Joey B Blurbs: Dinosaur
Tumblr media
————————————————————————-
Summary: You make the mistake of helping Joe make a TikTok account.
Warnings: None, pure silliness
Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader
Imagine Universe: Into The Mystic
————————————————————————-
February 15, 2024
Out of nowhere, Joe plopped down next to me on the couch and put his phone on my lap.
“Can I help you?” - you
“Yes, actually!” - Joe pointed to his phone
I looked down at his phone to see that it was the TikTok log-in or sign-up page that pops up when you first download the app.
“What?” - you
“Can you help me make an account? My dinosaur ass can't figure it out, but I wanna follow you and see the videos you post. Ja’Marr was talking about the videos you posted of me and you for Valentine’s yesterday, but I had no idea what he was talking about. I wanna be able to see your posts.” - Joe
“Why? So you can approve of them?” - you
“No, nothing like that! I like watching the videos you make of us, and I think they're cute. Plus, I rarely ever get to see the finished prank videos. Please help me?” - Joe
I thought his reasoning was adorable, so I happily helped him.
“Do you want it to be an official account or incognito?” - you
“Incognito.” - Joe
Nodding, I handed him his phone so he could type a username in.
I was absentmindedly staring off when I heard Joe giggle.
“What?” - you smiled
He handed me his phone, and I playfully rolled my eyes at the username he typed out.
Simp4Y/N_B
“You're a dork.” - you laughed
“I mean, I am making the account to watch your videos, so it's kinda fitting.” - Joe grinned
After getting the rest of the account setup process completed, Joe made me type my username in the search so he could follow me.
“Wanna follow anyone else? The team you play for, maybe?” - you
“Nope. This is all I wanted.” - Joe
——
You had no idea what a mistake that would be, and you were dealing with the consequences.
It wasn't even the next day yet, and Joe had blown your phone up, mass-liking every video you've ever posted.
Then he found the AI Spongebob singing videos…
“Joseph Lee, send me one more TikTok, and I'm going to block you.” - you
“Watch the last one I sent!” - Joe
“No!” - you
“It's Patrick singing Billie Jean!” - Joe
We were lying in bed, or at least I was, but my phone continuously vibrated on the nightstand, and Joe laughing kept me from sleeping.
“Go to sleep.” - you
Joe rolled over and laid his head on my shoulder, his hand propping up his phone on my chest to show me the video.
Like he hadn't already watched it ten times, Joe couldn't stop laughing.
“I'm gonna shove you off of this bed.” - you
——
Just when I thought things couldn't get worse, they did. They damn did.
Joe found Jett and Campbell. (IYKYK)
Now he randomly calls me Pookie as a joke, but with way too serious of an expression for my liking.
He'd gone to pick up my online pickup order from the store for me, and when Joe called me to tell me he had received my order, he greeted me in a way that made me want to hang up.
“Hey, baby.” - you
“Hey, Pookie. I got your order and am almost home.” - Joe
A few seconds of silence went by till I spoke up.
“Call me that again and I'll file for divorce.” - you
“You wouldn't do that, you love me too much... right?” - Joe
“I would never even think of it. I was just kidding, Joey.” - you
“Good because I can't live without you.” - Joe
“Can't live without you either… I love you more than anything.” - you
A few seconds of silence went by before Joe spoke up.
“Love you too… Pookie.” - Joe
“Bye.” - you hung up
——
After threatening divorce, Joe toned it down with the “Pookie” shit, but then he found trends that guys were doing on their girls.
We were in bed one night, cuddling and watching a movie, when out of nowhere, I heard an unmistakable edit audio playing. I looked over at Joe’s phone only to see my face and an annoyed expression on Joe’s.
Joe put his phone down on his chest and scooted away from me.
“Joe…” - you
“Nope, it's okay. Comforting knowing that my wife can recognize songs that are in the background of videos of other men.” - Joe
“You're being silly. I'm huge right now because I'm pregnant with your kid.” - you
“You're not huge… but that still doesn't make up for the fact that you knew that sound.” - Joe
I rolled over onto my side and curled up against Joe. He begrudgingly reached out and ran his fingertips over my bump that was pressing against his side.
“You're crazy if you think I don't have an edit of you saved with the same song in the background.” - you grinned
Joe looked away, suddenly feeling bashful as his cheeks flushed pink, and I lightly scratched his bare arm with my nails.
“You're playin’.” - Joe
“No, I'm not!” - you
I grabbed my phone out and pulled TikTok up, immediately finding my collection titled “Hubby ❤️🤭”, and scrolled till I found the video I wanted.
“Woah, you weren’t joking.” - Joe
“Don't you look hot as fuck?” - you
“I'm just drinking water on the sidelines…” - Joe
“Exactly!” - you
————————————————————————-
Authors note: idk what to say 💀
Request in this fic;
Tumblr media
Hope you enjoyed! 💕
499 notes · View notes
Note
Your stories and images are beyond incredible. My favorite blog on tumblr BY FAR. Truly incredible work. I guess it’s kind of selfish, so absolutely so absolutely no worries, at the very least I got to tell you how much I appreciate and love your content. But I’m a short, nerdy, thin, art student in college right now. I’m tired of being in the closet, I’m tired of being a push over, Im tired of being weak and submissive, I’m tired of being a virgin, and I wanna change. Maybe you could help with a story by turning me into one of those jaw dropping beautiful confident men that you make the pictures of, I would very much appreciate it. But no worries if you can’t, I just love your content!
Confidence
Nathaniel sighed quietly, as he came over his hairless stomach. Of course, he had to be quiet! The dorm walls were paper-thin, and he certainly didn't want the guys from the neighboring dorm rooms to hear him. He looked at the website once more, with the story and the hot buff men before he closed the incognito browser tab and proceeded to clean himself up.
When he looked into the bathroom mirror, he sighed again, but this time, it was a sigh of sadness. There really wasn't anything remotely impressive about him. He was thin and weak, and pathetic really. If it wasn't for his lack of boobs and his sorry excuse for a dick, he could very well pass as a woman. In fact, he had been mistakenly called "Madame" more than once, and one time, he had even been asked "how his transition was going".
No, Nathan was a cis man, just not a very impressive one. He was gay, of course, and loved to look at 'real' men while jerking his small cock. Most of the time, he fantasized about some hairy brute rough-handling him, pushing his face against the bed and fucking his tiny ass into submission. However, even though the thought was exciting to Nathan, he even more wished to *be* such a man. The rational part of Nathan knew that both fantasies would not happen anytime, though. It was physically impossible to just *become* a 'real man', and it was impossible for Nathan to even admit to anyone that he was gay. So, he would probably just stay a closeted virgin forever - doomed to masturbate to some kinky stories he was so embarrassed about that he only dared to look at them from an incognito browser tab.
He sighed a third time when he crawled into bed. Perhaps someday he would accept his fate.
Nathan was already almost asleep when he heard the firework starting outside. Right. It was New Year’s Eve. What a way to start the new year.
The next morning, Nathan was feeling a bit better. Of course, his deep-rooted unhappiness still lingered within him, but Nathan decided to try and enjoy the day. He liked new year’s days. Everyone usually was at home after having celebrated the whole night which meant that the world outside was very quiet. Not much happened on New Year’s Day.
Nathan decided to go to a nearby cafe. There, with a steaming mug of hot chocolate next to him, he got out his drawing utensils and looked around the place. There weren't too many people. An older couple sat together, the man reading a book, and the woman reading a magazine, while an elderly lady sat at the counter. She was probably the owner. However, there was one more guy, a young adult like Nathan, who sat on a nearby table all by himself and was playing on his phone. He had his chair tilted back a bit, stabilizing himself against the wall and rocking a bit. He had earphones in his ear, so he was probably listening to music while doing so.
Nathan's first instinct was to draw the old couple, but then he looked at the other young man again. He looked a bit like one of those men from the internet, the kind that Nathan would fantasize about. Just a bit. The other man wasn't burly and muscular and assertive, but instead he had a lean, fit build. Nathan was a bad judge of character, especially without having spoken to the person in question, but the young man didn't look particularly assertive or dominant either. So, all in all, not too much like the men Nathan longed for on the internet. But still, he had a certain charm to him. Nathan liked the fit, lean body and the aura of positivity the man seemed to exude and wanted to capture that on paper.
Tumblr media
Nathan began sketching the man, while occasionally looking up, making sure the man wouldn't notice. However, it was hard to keep his eyes off the guy. Every now and then, he would laugh a bit or make a funny face when watching something on his phone, which Nathan couldn't help but find very attractive.
He was just working on drawing the man's hands, when Nathan suddenly heard someone address him.
"Hey, what are you drawing?" The voice didn't sound rude or unfriendly, but plainly interested. Still, Nathan flinched visibly. The attractive man on the other table had removed one earplug and turned towards Nathan.
"Uh, sorry?" stuttered Nathan, not quite sure how to react. The guy pointed at Nathan's drawing pad and smiled: "You're an artist?"
Nathan could feel the blood rushing to his face. The drawing pad was tilted towards Nathan, so his unvoluntary model could not have seen what exactly Nathan was drawing. He could - no, he should - just lie and tell him he was sketching something in the room. But he just couldn't think of anything and the time for a good answer was running out. Almost involuntarily, Nathan stuttered, with his head red like a tomato: "Uhm, yeah, kind of. I was sketching you, actually."
The guy laughed a short and friendly laugh: "Really? Cool! Can I see it?"
Nathan could feel his heartbeat quicken, and his face got even redder. This was so embarrassing! But he couldn't very well refuse now, could he? So, he placed the pad flat on the table, just as the guy came over and sat himself down on Nathan's table.
"Oh wow!", he sounded impressed. "You're really talented! It's like looking into a mirror."
"Thanks" - Nathan hated getting compliments. Not only didn't he know how to react to them, but he also found them mostly fake. He was an art student, but he wasn't that good really, at least in his own opinion. In the dictionary, there was probably a picture of Nathan right next to the entry for "Imposter Syndrome".
"But why are you drawing me?" Although Nathan had feared that this question might come up, he didn't have a good lie to answer it. It was almost as if his mouth was acting on its own, when Nathan heard himself stammer: "Uh, eh, it's because I... I find you quite handsome actually. Good-looking I mean."
Nathan wished for nothing more than to be swallowed by the earth here and now. But to his big surprise, the guy just laughed again and said: "You think so? Thanks! The name's Oliver by the way." Oliver had, apparently, much less of a problem taking a compliment.
"Nathan." said Nathan and started to relax a tiny bit. However, the situation suddenly got even worse, when Oliver continued, in the same light-hearted voice. "Nice to meet you, Nathan! Are you into guys?"
Nathan froze solid. He hadn't expected that. And even worse, the answer was, of course, yes. But there was no way he could say that, was there? So, instead, he just stared at Oliver with his eyes wide open and a deer-in-headlights look.
"I mean, I'm gay - are you as well?" Oliver explained. "With the whole drawing dudes and all."
Nathan's brain had stopped working properly, so he couldn't help but nod and mumble a faint "yes".
Oliver's smile broadened and he said: "Really? Cool!"
Nathan's mind was racing. He had just admitted his homosexuality. To a complete stranger. Out of the blue. He didn't plan to come out that way, it just... happened.
A moment of awkward silence radiated from Nathan, but, thankfully, Oliver salvaged the situation pretty elegantly.
"Listen Nathan, I'll have to run now. But are you free tomorrow around 2? We could grab a coffee and you could show me some of your drawings if you like."
A spark of bravery, completely foreign to him, awakened in Nathan and he answered: "Y-yes. I think I would like that."
Oliver smiled another of his broad smiles. "Awesome! Let's meet here then tomorrow!"
With that, Oliver nodded at Nathan and left the cafe, putting in his headphone again while humming happily.
Did that really just happen? Nathan looked from the unfinished drawing towards the cafe door. Did he really just... got invited to a date? With a handsome guy named Oliver? Nathan wasn't sure whether to be happy or not. On the one hand, it was a miracle, a once in a lifetime opportunity. A cute and hot guy was actually interested in him! But on the other hand, there was no way he could make a good impression. How desperate had that Oliver guy to be to actually ask *him* out?
A small voice in his head insisted that he could just not show up tomorrow and avoid the whole disappointment. But the spark of bravery was still there, and Nathan fought down the feeling. No, he was going to show. If it turned out to be a disaster, he could still flee the scene - it wasn't like Oliver knew literally anything about him.
Nathan quickly packed his things and returned to his dorm room. Once he arrived, he noticed that he was completely covered in sweat of fear. His shirt showed wet spots under his arms and felt cold to the touch. Disgusted, Nathan immediately went for a shower. Only there, standing under the hot steamy water, Nathan could appreciate what happened. He got *asked out*. On a *date*. With a *guy*. Yesterday he had been certain he would die alone and lonely but then, today, he got *asked out*. Was this really a thing? Did it really happen?
He wasn't sure. He had a hard time believing it. Perhaps the whole thing was just a weird dream? A figment of his imagination. But no. The half-finished drawing was proof enough that Oliver really existed.
When Nathan exited the shower cabin, the whole bathroom was covered in steam, blinding the mirrors. Perhaps this - or the spinning of his thoughts - was the reason that he didn't notice that his hair had changed. Instead of his usual medium length brown-ish hair, he now sported a much shorter hairstyle - in a much darker color, almost black. Be it as it may - Nathan had other things on mind than checking his hair. He spent the whole afternoon and even the evening researching on how to make a good impression on a first date.
The next morning, Nathan slept in, which was pretty unusual for him. His whole frame felt weird, when he crawled out of bed. It wasn't too late, either - he had a comfortable 3 hours until the date. When he passed the bathroom mirror on his morning routine, however, he stopped for a moment. Something was... off about his face. His hair. It looked kind of... different?
Nathan stared at his reflection for a few seconds, straining his mind. Somehow, the shape of his jawbone seemed unfamiliar. And was his hair always that dark, almost black?
Finally, he shook his head. No, he was just seeing things. Of course, that was as it always had been. After having finished his bathroom business, Nathan went for a shower and prepared himself.
An hour later, he stood in front of the mirror, trying out a bunch of outfits and felt slight panic rising inside of him. None of his clothes fit very well, it was like he was cursed! It wasn't that his shirts and pants were much too big or much too small, but for some reason none of his clothes really felt comfortable. Both his favorite shirt and his usual jeans felt somewhat constricting today. Finally, Nathan just put on an outfit, and left his room.
When he entered the cafe, Oliver was already sitting there, two coffee mugs in front of him. He smiled, waved and gestured for Nathan to join him.
"Hello, Nathan!"
"H-hi." said Nathan, his nervousness returning.
"Here, I bought you a coffee!" Oliver pushed one of the mugs over the table.
"Thanks." Nathan was somewhat distracted by the ill-fitting clothes, and he could pretty much feel the nervous sweat practically pouring out of his pores.
"No problem!", said Oliver. "I was early, anyway. How are you doing today?"
"Fine." said Nathan and took a sip of his coffee, trying to hide his nervousness. He vividly remembered all the good advice he had read yesterday, but all that felt just impossible to him.
"So, you're an artist? What do you do?" Oliver asked with genuine interest.
"Well, I study art, I guess. I want to be a concept artist, you know, for games or movies or so. But, eh, right now, I'm just a student, and I'm not really that good."
"That's not how I remember it!" smiled Oliver. "Can you show me more of your work?"
Nathan nodded as he got out his sketchbook. Talking about his art was something he was comfortable with and allowed him to warm up somewhat over the course of the conversation. Oliver appeared to be quite a nice guy and had a lot of questions about drawing, so, Nathan, in turn, started to relax and talk more freely. He found out that Oliver was a veterinary technician and had a part time job at a dog shelter. That, combined with the fact that he was, in general, a really nice and positive guy, made him incredibly appealing to Nathan.
After the two had talked for a while, Oliver suddenly remarked: "You know, I really like your stubble! It really suits you!"
Stubble? What was he talking about? Nathan rarely needed to shave, but he had done so this morning, so, it was absolutely impossible that he should have visible facial hair. And yet, as he felt his chin, his fingers met with bristly short hair, so dense and long that there was no way he could have missed it this morning. Nathan found it strange, to say the least, but didn't want to make a scene in this situation. His spark of courage was a small candle flame now, as he just smiled while he felt his chin and said "Thank you!"
The two continued to chat a bit. While doing so, Nathan tried not to think too much about the fact that his clothes were, somehow, tighter than before.
Finally, Oliver's phone buzzed, and he looked at the screen.
"Damn, it's that late already?"
"What is it?", asked Nathan.
"Oh, the dog shelter. I have a shift soon, I need to go!"
Nathan sighed inwardly. He was really enjoying the date and didn't want it to end. He was pulled out of his thoughts by the feeling of Olivers hand on his. It felt... good. Good and strange, like the texture of his own hand was somewhat wrong, somewhat rougher than before. When he looked up into Oliver's eyes, he found the other man smiling.
"I really enjoyed this. You are a wonderful person, Nathan. We should do this again."
Nathan nodded. He didn't trust his voice right now.
"How about... tomorrow?", Oliver continued. "There's an art exhibition in town, perhaps you would like to go there with me?"
Nathan's heart jumped a beat. He didn't have time or courage yet to go to the exhibition and the prospect of seeing Oliver again so soon was wonderful.
"I would very much like that", Nathan replied and smiled.
"Great! Let's meet there, say at 5?"
"Sure!"
Oliver smiled his beautiful, broad smile, and stood up, leaving some money for the coffees on the table. Nathan too got up, but before he could leave, Oliver stopped him with a warm expression in his eyes. "You know, I really think I like you a lot." He said, and his hand touched Nathan's somewhat bristly cheek. Almost automatically, both of their faces drew closer to each other, until their lips met with the slightest touch. It was a chaste, short kiss, but Nathan could feel Oliver's lips smile when they broke apart.
"See you tomorrow!", said Oliver and left the cafe.
Nathan's knees felt weak, and his heart was beating rapidly. There were a thousand feeling, all happening inside him at once and Nathan needed a moment to sort through them before he was able to move again. There was a part of him that couldn't quite believe what just happened, but the biggest part was just euphoric. He basically jogged back to his home, full of a never experienced energy.
When he arrived in his room, his body was feeling even weirder than before. All of his clothes were way too tight. It was not just that he felt constricted, no, the clothes actually were much too small. He quickly got rid of them, noticing that, again, he had sweated like a pig. As Nathan glanced down on himself, he could almost see that his body was somehow different. Fitter, healthier. It was probably just his imagination, though, caused by his ecstatic mood. He briefly considered taking another shower but postponed it to tomorrow. There would be plenty of time and Nathan felt really glad and tired for today.
Nathan woke up from two different feelings the next morning. First, he felt itchy and sweaty all over his body and was subconsciously scratching himself in his sleep. Second, and perhaps even more importantly, Nathan was experiencing a severe case of morning wood. His manhood was rigid and pulsating under his sheets and was begging for attention. Nathan had a hard time remembering when he last experienced such an urgent urge to jerk off. He wasn't sure, but the memories of their kissing yesterday came to his mind as soon as he woke up, so, he couldn't resist closing his hand around his hard cock and started pumping. His hand felt rough and big, and Nathan couldn't be sure, but both length and girth of his tool seemed increased, too. However, Nathan could hardly concentrate on that due to the waves of pleasure washing over him.
It didn't take very long for Nathan to shoot a big load onto his stomach, with a moan. It was a big and sticky load, too, mixing with the little dark hairs on his stomach and chest. Nathan blinked in post-nut clarity. Hairs? He didn't have body hair.
Nathan got up quickly and went to the bathroom. Something about his perspective was off, too. It was like the ceiling was closer than it was supposed to be, and the ground further away. Once Nathan had used some toilet paper to wipe away most of the cum, he took a look at himself in the mirror. There was no denying that he looked different. He was definitely somewhat taller and broader than before. He didn't have a scale, but he was sure that he had gained quite some weight as well - not only due to the increased height and broader shoulders but also because his previous stickman-like appearance had been altered quite somewhat. All over his frame, a lean definition was visible, hinting at muscles even. His chin was covered in visible stubble and there was a bit of body hair visible, mainly on his chest and stomach as well as peeking out under his armpit.
Tumblr media
Speaking of which, as Nathan raised his arm to look at his pits, a certain smell reached his nose. A musky, manly, slightly sweaty odor that wasn't quite unpleasant but was certainly unfamiliar.
Nathan had a hard time wrapping his mind around what he was seeing. There was no denying he looked *good*. He just didn't look exactly like *himself*. And for some reason, this didn't bother Nathan quite as much as it probably should. He should be panicking or calling a doctor. People didn't just grow taller overnight or put on definition without working out. And yet, Nathan only felt a slight bit of curiosity and a weak impulse that he probably *should* work out then.
Nathan shook his head and went back to his bedroom. He didn't bother putting on clothing and tried to pass the time until afternoon. The only thing that he *really* regretted about his sudden changes was that his favorite shirt and jeans would definitely not fit anymore.
He ended up watching a bit of TV and browsing the internet, before he decided it was time to prepare himself. Finding clothes that would fit now proved to be quite a challenge, but in the end, he settled on a plain t-shirt and some cargo pants. He had bought both of them a number too big by mistake, which came in quite handy now.
Walking through the city was a strange experience. He felt good about himself and held his head high. Combined with the fact that Nathan's head was, indeed, higher than before, it was like seeing the city in a whole new perspective. Less looking at the ground and more looking straight ahead.
His new posture seemed to have another effect, too. Where before he had to avoid people, trying not to get in their way, now they seemed to be stepping aside for him, which was a foreign but not unpleasant experience.
Finally, he arrived at the exhibition and found Oliver already waiting for him. They greeted with a hug and a short kiss, both fully reciprocated by Nathan, and went inside. Although Oliver seemed to notice something was off about Nathan, he didn't mention it and apparently forgot about it quickly.
Today, Nathan found it much easier to talk to Oliver and brought up topics by himself.
The exhibition however was kind of a let-down for Nathan. Although he could judge on a rational level that the art presented here was really well-done and interesting, on a purely emotional level, Nathan found it mind-numbingly boring. The conversation steered away from the art quickly, and more towards personal matters, which was a relief. So, even though they didn't care much about the paintings around them, the two of them ended up wandering around the exhibition for hours, talking and having a good time.
During the date, however, Nathan was quickly experiencing an unfamiliar feeling. The company of Oliver was... exciting. Exciting on a sexual, primal level. Nathan's larger manhood grew semi-hard in his underwear quickly, so Nathan had to readjust himself more than once. At first, he was very self-conscious about it and tried to be as subtle as possible. However, with every push his cock needed in order not to be too obvious, Nathan actually cared less about who saw him readjust himself. He was a guy after all, and all big-dicked men had that particular problem from time to time.
Besides forming a bulge in his groin, however, his constantly semi-hard cock did one more thing: Nathan was leaking precum in his underwear. First, it was just a drop or two on an involuntary throb, but it quickly became more. His underwear was feeling damp before long, and a faint note of sexuality mixed into his still present smell.
After a while, Oliver even commented on it, in his usual upbeat way: "Hey, Nathan, I have to say, you smell pretty good. Are you using cologne?"
Nathan hadn't noticed his own smell too much. His first impulse was to apologize, but the burning campfire of courage inside of him quickly told him otherwise. Oliver didn't complain. In fact, he liked it.
So, Nathan answered with a grin: "Nope. That's just how I smell."
Oliver took another whiff of the mixture of sweat, dried cum and precum and smiled. "Well, I like it!"
Nathan wasn't quite sure how to react, and just said: "Thanks!"
The exhibition was closing down soon, and Nathan offered Oliver to accompany him to the train station, which he gladly accepted. When they parted, they kissed again. This time, it wasn't a small, timid kiss like before, but a long, sexual one that made Nathan's dick twitch like mad in the confines of his pants. Since their bodies were pressed closely together, Nathan could be sure that Oliver felt the movement against his own groin.
Only after they broke the kiss, Nathan noticed that he was now looking down on Oliver slightly. He could have sworn that Oliver had been slightly taller than him yesterday.
There was no telling on how the evening would have continued hadn't it been for Oliver's train to arrive just then. Before Oliver could board the train, however, Nathan grinned at him and said: "Dinner tomorrow? The Italian place downtown, at 6?"
"I would love that!"
They kissed again and Nathan watched as the train pulled out. Then, he went back to his dorm, whistling a happy tune. It didn't even occur to him that he had taken the initiative in asking Oliver out for a third date. The fire of confidence was burning bright inside of him.
When he came home, Nathan immediately stripped out of his clothes. Even the larger shirt had become somewhat tight. He took a short look at it. There was a wet patch under both arms from his constant sweating, and the t-shirt had adapted his smell. There was something else in the smell, though. At the chest region, there was a medium sized stain, machine oil from the smell of it. Nathan wondered briefly how he could have missed it this morning but then diverted his attention to more pressing matters. His cock was fully hard and was poking out from the waistband of his briefs. Nathan hadn't had an erection like that since puberty and, if he was honest with himself, the feeling was rather nice. Without hesitation, he closed his hand around his hard meat and gave it a few experimental pumps. A low growl escaped his mouth, and a shiver went through his body. He didn't want to go slow, he wanted to fuck. His mind was focused on the task at hand. He didn't even bother to close his curtains, as he went for it. Nathan was jacking himself off, fast and hard, growling and groaning, until he finally exploded all over his chest and face, shooting multiple loads of thick white cum everywhere.
As Nathan was catching his breath, the smell of cum was heavy in the room. God, he needed that. Ever since he met Oliver today. He wiped his face and chest with his discarded t-shirt and briefly considered if he wanted to take a shower. The smell emanating from him was rather strong now, but still, he didn't want to. Oliver seemed to like his body odor, and, if Nathan was being honest, he did so himself, too.
Nathan was woken by his alarm the next morning. As his mind came to focus, his hand reached for the smartphone automatically and dismissed the alarm. He yawned and stretched. He was really looking forward to today. Given, it was the last day before classes started again, but he was going to a third date with Oliver this evening!
When Nathan crawled out of bed and went for his bathroom, however, his body felt weird again. The muscles had become more defined over the course of the last two days and now, the whole body structure felt *strong*. The few hairs from before had become a small forest of body hair and the stubble had grown thicker. He still didn't feel the need for a shave, though.
Tumblr media
Nathan wasn't quite sure about the whole situation. Of course, he was enjoying the change. On the other hand, ... No, fuck the other hand. This was great, plain and simple. He finished his morning business standing up while peeing, which he usually never did. But right now, it just felt *right*.
After that, he inspected his wardrobe. He had half-feared that he would need to go and buy new clothes, but apparently, overnight his wardrobe had changed as well. It was filled with sturdy cargos or work pants as well as simple shirts and the occasional overall. Good!
His underwear choice had also changed. Instead of briefs or boxers, the drawer was now filled with jockstraps. That made sense, of course - only a jockstrap would set his large dick in the right scene.
None of the clothes qualified as "clean". Sure, they had been washed before they went into the wardrobe, but permanent grease or oil stains had permeated the fabric just as Nathan's manly stink - both marks no washing machine could ever erase entirely.
Nathan grabbed one of the pants and smelled it. He couldn't help but smile. This was his smell. This was *his* smell. His manly, sweaty, dirty, horny smell. He even felt his ever-present dick twitch a bit at the smell. Nathan wasn't sure if he would ever get used to this new reality. Or if this even was the final reality.
The hours passed quickly. Nathan was keeping himself busy, playing games or listened to music. Not once did it occur to him to draw something or even look at his art. This new him wasn't particularly creative, it seemed.
Nathan's mind wandered back to the date this evening. He couldn't wait to see Oliver again. In fact, he couldn't wait for more than that. It was a third date and Nathan wanted to go all the way with Oliver. He wanted to take his ass and fuck it into oblivion.
At around 5 pm, Nathan stood in front of the Italian place, waiting for Oliver. When Oliver finally arrived, the two men greeted each other with a passionate kiss. Nathan could tell that the kiss was having an effect on Oliver, as his breathing was quicker than usual.
They went inside and sat down on a table. Almost automatically, Nathan's legs spread wide, taking up space, establishing presence and, most importantly, giving his equipment the necessary space. The *old* Nathan would have sat with his legs closed or even crossed, in order to not draw any attention to himself. However, the new Nathan didn't want to draw *less* attention.
The two chatted a bit, with the main topic of the conversation being the menu, before ordering. When he spoke, Nathan noted that his voice had dropped an octave, making his voice gravely and his laugh a low rumble. When Oliver had chosen, Nathan summoned the waiter and ordered for the both of them, his lower voice full of confidence. For Nathan, it was a large meat pizza and a beer.
"You know, I have never seen you drink before", remarked Oliver.
"I don't usually", replied Nathan. "But I thought I'd have a beer today."
"You're not driving, are you?"
"Na, I'm here on foot."
Oliver smiled his usual smile. "I'm here by car, so if you like, I can give you a ride home afterwards."
There seemed to be some subtext to this offer, but it went over Nathan's head. Not that it was necessary, because he had the exact same plans, anyway.
"Sounds great!"
A couple of minutes later, their pizzas arrived, and the two dug in.
"I really like your style, Nathan." said Oliver after a while.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know, the way you dress. The way you talk. The way you act."
"Oh. Thanks."
Nathan thought for a moment before he added: "You know, I go by Nate these days."
"Nate, eh?", smiled Oliver.
"Yeah. Fits better, you know."
"I guess so. I like it a lot!"
"I like your style, too."
"What do you mean by that?", Oliver laughed.
"Just, the way you talk, the way you walk. Everything. You're cute, you know."
"Why, thank you!"
The conversation was definitely a lot more flirtatious than yesterday. When they had finished their meals, they didn't linger much longer in the restaurant but got into Oliver's car.
Nate proceeded to give Oliver directions to his home. However, at a certain crossing, he had to stop and think for a moment. He knew for a fact that his dorm was to the left. But he also knew for a fact that his *home* was to the right. Nate decided not to overthink it and directed Oliver to the right with a firm voice.
They didn't get very far from that point, when suddenly, the car stopped with a jerk.
"Damn, sorry!" said Oliver. "The engine is acting up again. It's probably too cold or something like that. I'll just try to start it up again."
When after the third try, the engine didn't start again, Nate laid a hand on Oliver's. "Let me try." he said with a confident voice and left the car. When he opened the hood, the problem became clear to him right away.
"The carburetor is a bit clogged, I'll unclog it real quick and we're ready to go."
While Oliver was staring at Nate in surprise, as the latter quickly and with trained skill removed a few parts and then, with a flex of his mighty arms, applied percussive maintenance to the part in question. After Nate had reassembled the engine, he cleaned his hands on his pants and got into the car again, filling out the passenger seat with his presence.
"It should work again for now, but I'll have to clean it thoroughly tomorrow. The thing is just old and worn down, it needs replacing soon. Just try starting the engine."
Oliver was still staring at Nate with a disbelieving look on his face. Finally, however, he tried starting the engine again, and the car did indeed start running smoothly.
"Wow, Nate, that was amazing! Where did you learn that?"
"What do you mean", grinned Nate. "That's what I do!"
Oliver stared at him for a moment. "Wait, you're a mechanic?"
"Yeah, sure, didn't I tell you when we met?"
Oliver seemed to think about it but then slowly nodded: "Yes, I... think so. Weird. I could have sworn..."
Nate shrugged and pointed down the road: "Shall we go?"
They arrived at Nate's place shortly after. He had a cheap apartment directly over the car garage where he worked. Nate did try to clean up a bit the afternoon, but the place still screamed "Manly bachelor" all over the place with the occasional beer can or jockstrap scattered around.
Neither of them had time to care, though. As soon as the door closed, the two kissed. It wasn't just a chaste, romantic kiss. This was a heated, passionate kiss, full of desire and lust. Nate took Oliver's body and pushed him against the wall, grinding their bodies together. Both were hard and their breathing was rapid. Nate's hands wandered up and down Oliver's body, squeezing and grabbing his body. His fingers were strong and forceful, and he squeezed the smaller man's buttocks and his dick with the same intensity. Oliver responded by moaning and pushing his groin against Nate's, humping him.
Suddenly, Nate broke the kiss. "Oliver, I... I want you. I want to fuck you."
Oliver didn't answer, but kissed Nate again, harder this time. Nate's tongue invaded his mouth, and the bigger man's hands were ripping Oliver's shirt and pants off him. Once Oliver's dick was free, it was enveloped by Nate's big calloused hand, and Oliver's breath hitched in his throat.
"Oh god, Nate, yes!" he moaned.
Nate had enough of foreplay, and he wanted to fuck, now. Without wasting any time, he quickly pushed his pants down and pressed his dick against Oliver's. It was massive, even compared to Oliver's not insignificant size. While Nate's balls were big and heavy, his cock was thick, long, and veiny, with a fat mushroom head. It was also rock hard, and the head was already drooling precum.
With one hand, Nate stroked the two cocks together, rubbing them and smearing the precum all over his dick and Oliver's. With the other hand, he pulled Oliver close and kissed him again, a long, sensual, passionate kiss, which made Oliver moan into his mouth.
The two stood like that for a while, but finally, Nate's need to fuck was stronger than anything else.
"Bedroom. Now!" he growled and dragged the smaller man with him. Once there, Nate simply tossed him onto the bed and followed quickly, his cock pointing up. He positioned himself on top of the other man and kissed him again, their tongues dancing in their mouths.
When the kiss broke, Oliver was panting.
"You really are a big boy, huh?"
"Damn right I am."
"Oh god, I need your big dick inside of me!"
"Yeah? You want me to fuck you?"
"Please! I've wanted to feel your huge meat in me for days."
"Fuck yeah. You're gonna get it."
Nate reached under his bed and produced a bottle of lube, which he applied liberally to his dick.
"You're ready?"
"Do it, big guy."
Nate placed the head of his massive cock against the tight pucker and started to push. Slowly but steadily, his dick invaded Oliver's ass.
"Oooooooooh god, Nate, yesssssss!" moaned Oliver.
The pressure around Nate's dick was unbelievable. Oliver was clearly tight, and the way his asshole was massaging his dick felt heavenly.
Finally, Nate's dick was balls-deep inside Oliver. Both were breathing heavily, and Oliver was moaning incoherently. Nate gave him a moment to adjust and then started moving his hips, first slowly, but increasing his pace quickly. Soon, he was slamming into Oliver's ass as hard as he could, pulling almost completely out and then thrusting back inside the smaller man.
"Fuck yeah! You like that? You like my huge dick pounding your tight little ass?"
"God, yes, Nate, fuck me, fuck meeee!"
Nate was groaning and growling, a sound that came deep from his chest and made Oliver moan even louder.
"Oh shit, Nate, I'm so close! Don't stop, please don't stop, don't st- ooooooooh gooooooood!"
Nate felt Oliver's muscles clamp down on his dick, and that sent him over the edge. He buried his dick as deep as he could and shot a big load of cum deep into Oliver's guts.
The two of them collapsed on each other, spent but happy.
A lot had changed for Nathan in this new year. He had gotten a new body, a new job, a new identity even. But most importantly, he had found love. Nate the manly mechanic sighed. If he were to describe his feelings, looking into the future, there was only one fitting word: Confidence.
Tumblr media
I actually generated a ton (okay, 50) of images for this story. If you want to check out the alternate versions of the different stages of Nathan/Nate, check out my tip jar, where I posted them!
459 notes · View notes
lonelymoonrambles · 8 months
Text
I have now finished season 2 of ds9 and here are my thoughts a first time viewer:
- when does a government stop being provisional and just become real
-damn Kai Winn is a villain VILLAIN! I hate her (character)! I love her (actress)!
- Kira having her fleabag/hot priest moment
- Dr. Julian "I can fix them" Bashir
- seriously Nog needs to go back to the school, I wasn't joking
- fashion spotlight: Jake's brown onesie
- Quark is canonically attracted to men and you can't change my mind
- Dr. Julian "Tennis" Bashir
- Cmdr. Benjamin "Baseball" Sisko
- Jadzia, babe, you'd bang literally anyone wouldn't you? You sick lil freak, we love you! 🥰
- Odo's scientist "father" 100% tests on animals
- O'Brien, dude, just admit you have a crush on Julian - we all know 🙄 (Your wife told us)
- Dukat is OBSESSED with Sisko... 😏
- UM HELLO 2x22 THE WIRE?!!!?? I have many comments and feelings on this ep specifically
- *opens incognito tab* Ao3 search: kira/mirror kira
- ok but seriously that mirror universe ep was wildly horny
- Jem'hadar is a very cunty name for an alien and honestly? They were serving (queer/military way)
- everyone on this space station is gay and polyamorous
899 notes · View notes
bigwishes · 7 months
Text
Ask and You Shall Receive
Keanu was a party boy from the streets of New York. Spent most nights in the clubs dancing up on guys. Half the time he'd end up shirtless dancing on the bar flexing in lean muscles driving everyone wild.
Tumblr media
Keanu burst into his apartment at 3am half drunk stumbling down his hallway. He didn't manage to score tonight and was horny as hell. If he couldn't fuck, he'd have to relieve himself some other way.
He threw himself down on his bed and flicked open an incognito tab on his phone. Keanu normally found himself bringing home twinks and twunks but what he really wanted was a guy with some size, a huge bodybuilder to totally dominate and make into his bitch. Keanu got hard just thinking about it and went straight to looking up images of massive tanky guys in tight constricting posers. Keanu scrolled through images until he found one with a short caption tied to it. He read it getting finding himself drawn to the fantasy. He had never seen something like this before and clicked on the photo being taken to a website with hundred of captioned photos and stories about guys growing from a skinny jock into a bodybuilder as big as a mountain. Keanu's eyes were glued to the screen and he was captivated by the fantasy.
He had dumbed his load on his bare stomach and chest 3 times and he was ready to go again realising he had discovered a new fetish. Scrolling down the rabbit hole he found one offering suggestions / asks for transformations with a personal touch. Keanu's half drunk brain half horny brain thought he had come up with the perfect suggestion...
"I want to grow so big bodybuilders look like twinks next to me"
Keanu chuckled to himself and fell asleep with one hand on his dick.
Keanu woke up groggy the next morning feeling the pain in his head from his hangover. He would rather spend all day in bed but he knew he had to get his morning routine on the way. Keanu got up, making himself a cup of coffee as he wasn't one to eat first thing. He then dropped down on his half and tip toes to pump out 50 push ups and 50 sit ups like he did every morning.
Keanu picked himself up off the floor and moved his sweaty body to the bathroom for a shower. Looking in the mirror something was different, his body seemed fuller and not just from a pump but he felt bigger too. It was probably his ego combined with his hangover making him feel bigger than he really was but that didn't mean he still didn't feel big.
Tumblr media
All day Keanu felt stronger, when he was lifting boxes at work, carrying shopping home, even when he was out flaunting his body on the dance floor he found himself clumsy and bumping into people more often, found his clothes feeling tight like they had all shrunk in the dryer, but he didn't think much of it.
The next morning was almost the same, wake up, coffee, workout but instead of taking a shower instead he had to go back to the kitchen and make himself something to eat, for some reason he found himself starving and craving a protein shake.
Keanu mixed up a shake and made himself a bowl of cereal which is scoffed down like a beast. He caught a whiff of himself still sweaty after his workout he then went to take a shower. Only this time when he saw himself in the mirror he definitely noticed the difference.
Tumblr media
His muscled were thicker but not just thicker they were bulging out of his clothes. His mouth dropped and his brow tensed with shock as he flexed his bicep examining himself in the mirror. He dropped his pants leaving himself in his underwear trying to examine his thick quads but he couldn't quite get a look even when he tried standing up on the edge of his bathtub. Although he could feel just by tensing his legs and from how tight his underwear was around his ass he had definitely gained a lot more than a few pounds of muscle overnight.
Right as Keanu was about to get in the shower his phone alarm rang telling him to leave for work. He quickly dashed out of the bathroom throwing on any clothes he could get around his new bigger frame. His clothes still fit but he definitely felt them struggle to stretch over his back as he moved. Running out the door and into the apartment complex elevator he got almost to the bottom floor when he saw a small dark patch in the bent reflection. Upon closer inspection Keanu saw faint pit stains on his shirt under both his arms and the elevator smelt slightly of sweat. He scratched the back of his head.
"Guess that's what happens when I don't shower after working out" he thought.
Getting used to the changes were strange. A crate he'd normally need to ask for help to move he almost through across the room on his own. Lucky everyone at work was used to the smell of manual labour otherwise other people at his job might realise he forgot to shower.
The next morning Keanu got out of bed hearing his stomach growl. He Instantly got up rubbing his six pack, feeling his abs be more defined than yesterday. The novelty hadn't kicked yet, at least not until he had something to eat. Hungrier than yesterday he smashed a shake and two bowls of cereal. After eating he hit his normal workout and went to take a shower. He saw himself in the mirror, bigger and fuller once again. As the water was warming up Keanu sat on the edge of his bath, looking down at his chest bouncing his pecs to himself.
Tumblr media
His back was wider, lats and chest sticking out competing for space with his arms. His legs were wide and his quads rubbed against each other. Keanu's walk was slowly turning into more of a lumber.
He grabbed his pec with his massive hand and rubbed his hard defined abs. By the time he pulled himself out of his self inflicted trance he had run out of hot water and his alarm was ringing for him to go to work.
"fuck" he said turning the shower off running to his bedroom to grab some clothes.
Keanu frantically ran around his room trying to find something to fit, his jeans wouldn't go up over his massive legs, his arms wouldn't fit through the arm holes in his shirts, he couldn't even get his button ups to come half way across his chest. The only thing he had left were his gym tank and shorts. Both of which used to be loose casual fits for him but now they were tight, like a bodybuilder who ordered the size down from what he needed.
Keanu frantically ran out of his house to the apartment building elevator. As the doors open he went to walk through them when he bounced out, both his shoulders smashed into the duel opening doors. He was so used to knowing when it was open enough for him to enter for years and now he was clumsy with his new size. Standing in the elevator the smell of sweat was starting to become potent. He'd have to make sure he took a shower on his day off.
Keanu woke up groggy from a late night of partying until 4am. Sitting up in his bed he felt a constricting pressure around his legs. Pulling back his bed sheets he saw a pair of jeans ripped and torn around his massive tree trunk legs, so tight the veins of his legs could be seen pressing through the fabric that hasn't been ripped.
Keanu stood up hearing the sound of denim. He tried to take off the jeans but it was like peeling off a layer of skin. It was like they had been shrunk after putting them on.
Finally pulling them off he realised how badly he needed a shower. two days of hard working and a full night of partying without a proper shower left him stinking worse than all the guys he worked with combined. He walked down the hall, bumping into a few things along the way struggling to reconfigure his internal gyroscope. After waking up as big as he was yesterday he expected he'd stop growing by now, but he was shocked at how massive he was when he looked in the mirror.
Tumblr media
Keanu was twice as wide as he was yesterday and easily twice as dence. He struggled to curl his arm up to take a selfie, his bicep and forearm fought against one another and it was almost like he was forced to flex if he wanted to use his arms.
He dropped his arms to the side trying to leave them resting comfortably but his wide back and lats made his arms stick out like he was always doing a lat spread. Keanu took a few steps hearing his steps making his entire apartment vibrate sounding like he was stomping just from a regular step. His muscles bounced in the mirrors and he got hard looking at his size move. Keanu reached down and found it difficult to reach his dick, as he rotated his arm forward his shoulders and biceps collided, he could just barely grab his dick, not just from how his massive muscles constricted his size but from how much girth and size had been added to his manhood. It wasn't something he had been noticing compared to the massive changes of his swelling muscles everyday.
Keanu waddled his massive frame back to his bedroom, feeling his thighs rubbing against each other constricting his movement. He made it to his bed lying down feeling his massive weight bend the frame in. He pulled out his phone which was dwarfed by his enormous hands. Keanu reached down to his dick able to comfortably move with one leg half cocked in the air.
Keanu went to the cite he was on the other night and found a reply posted to the request he just barely remembers sending in. He read the story seeing images of him posted in between long paragraphs about him growing when he's asleep. Keanu began to jerk himself off moaning as he read the story. He got to a paragraph where he read about growing whilst he pleasured himself, he felt the blood pump up his muscles and heard as his body adjusted itself with the constant swelling of size. His phone looked like it was becoming smaller by the second and it was harder for him to keep his hand wrapped firmly around his manhood.
Keanu was on the edge right as he got to the end of the story. He quickly clicked the request button.
"I wanna be stupid big, make me stupid big"
Keanu blew his load all over his abs and relaxed into his bed. His head felt slightly cloudy. Looking at his tiny phone a short story tied to his latest ask popped up on the screen.
A picture of him as an enormous swollen titan standing in front of a mirror in what looked like his bathroom with the simple caption.
"you are so massive and so heavy but so fucking stupid you can barely string a sentence together you dumb horny giant"
Keanu got up and waddled his ridiculous mass to his bathroom where he stood in front of the mirror shocked at his bulging size but before a thought of regret could form in his head he noticed drool pouring out the corner of his mouth and his jaw slowly fell open as all his thoughts evaporated.
Tumblr media
UHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh HUHUHUH
Keanu let out a moronic laugh giggling at how he bounced his pecs in the mirror.
Now if only the monstrous moron could figure out how to get a hold of his dick...
791 notes · View notes
the-fluff-piece · 7 months
Text
Invisible part 2
- a change of perspectives
Tumblr media
Part 1
Part 3 coming soon...
This time, Sanji is incognito in a new body - hanging out with you!
He's getting to know you, and sees you in a new light.
This is leading up to part 3, where there is a happy end.
"...and that's why we should switch bodies!" Usopp ended his lengthy explanation and Sanji just stared at him.
A very grumpy Law sat in a shady corner, clearly uncomfortable with the whole situation.
"You need my body? For a heist? Why can't I just go with Nami-san?" he felt betrayed.
"Because you're bad at lying. This has to work. We need the lying mouth and the brawn" Nami said, and added with a pout:"please! For me!"
"Yes of course my Nami-swaaan! Anything you want!" Sanji heard his own mouth say before his brain even had a clear thought.
So, he ended up in Usopp's scrawny body. But he was proud that the sweet Nami-swan needed him. His body. Whatever happened to it would be fine.
They went on a super secret mission on a super secret island while the Sunny waited in a calm archipelago with a few villages.
Usopp's body felt so weak, Sanji tried a few Kicks but it didn't feel right- and everything in Usopp's many pockets clinked and clonked mysteriously. He just hoped they would not get attacked while his body was away, he wouldn't be able to protect the ship like that.
"Uuusoppp!" Someone called.
"Hey, Usopp?" Someone punched Sanji in the side, reminding him that for the day, he was Usopp.
"Oh, hey y/n! Uhm..what's up?" He said and tried to remember Usopp's mannerisms and speech patterns.
"What's up? You wanted to help me today, remember?" Y/n told him, beaming.
"Of course! I didn't forget," he lied, "But I've got so much to do today here..." he tried to think of excuses. He wasn't exactly in the mood to hang with her.
"You promised!" Y/n looked a bit cross at him, "and it's so important to me" she told him.
"Ok, what are we doing?" Sanji sighed. She may not be his type at all, but at that moment she was still a girl in need.
"We're finishing the book, silly" She said like Usopp had to know.
"Of course, the book" he said and followed her to the girl's room - a holy place on the ship that was usually forbidden to him.
He took in the sweet scent of female perfume and was delighted to see sexy clothes laid out on the beds. Meanwhile, y/n trotted over to a table and took out a big book, a small Box full of papers and arts and crafts materials.
The book looked like an album but much more intricate. The pages y/n had opened where full of pictures of the crew, handwritten comments and small memorandums of the places they had visited: dried leaves and flowers, tickets, maps.
"Remind me what we're doing again?" He casually asked.
"I'm making a scrapbook for Sanji, remember? Did you hit your head?" She raised her eyebrows.
"For me- uhm for Sanji? His birthday is months away!" Sanji said, wondering why she would do that.
"It's just to show him how much the crew loves and cherishes him. After I saw how cruel his family was to him, I wanted to do something nice for him" she answered, laying out her materials.
The mention of his family still stung a bit, but her sentiment was sweet. He didn't know she cared so much.
"You will help me with folding some decorative origami." She pushed a pile of small, pink sheets towards him.
"Uhm..." Sanji stuttered. His fingers were very dextrous, but he didn't know anything about origami folding, and these sheets were tiny.
"I'll show you again..." She said and sat next to him. She showed him how to make small, folded cherry blossoms. She taught him step by step how to do it.
He was not used to it and made many mistakes, but she was patient and gentle. He finally made a small, slightly crooked blossom he was not proud of, but she praised him like he just did something great. Smiling, she placed her hand on his arm and he couldn't help but feel good about his small accomplishment.
He never really noticed her, when she was not in danger or hungry she barely registered to him. Which he kind of regretted now - she was exceptionally kind and caring. Maybe he should try and talk to her more often.
When he sat beside her to fold the blossoms, he watched her artfully place the photos and memories on the pages.
He began to feel very cozy. Y/n hummed softly as she worked on a gift for him, smiling in the golden light that filled the room. He noticed how her eyes would light up with excitement, and he couldn't deny the charm in her enthusiasm.
He watched her as she lovingly filled page after page of their adventures and he couldn't help but wonder how much effort she had already put in - for him.
"Can I see?" Sanji was now curious for the rest, he couldn't wait for the finished book. He skipped through, pages and pages filled with carefully preserved memories. All the people theu met and helped. Y/n's commentary was emphasising the crew's friendship and his good qualities.
There was a photo from punk hazard. It showed Sanji, smiling, handing out food to marines and pirates alike. He couldn't help but notice the abundance of pictures she had of him. Could it be that she had a thing for him...?
Above she wrote: "Your great cooking brings everyone together. What would we do without you?" In small, precise letters. There were more pictures of laughing marines and happy giant kids. He knew that she liked to take fotos, but he never really noticed how much. Her message made him smile, he was indeed proud of his skills and the joy it brought. And he liked that she saw that.
"You did great!" His eyes got a little wet and he handed it back to her.
As he bathed in her attention, he couldn't help but ask her: "Do you like Sanji?"
He already got his answer by seeing her blush violently.
"As a fellow crewmember, of course!" She tried to gloss over the fact that she was red as a poppy by hiding behind the book.
"Of course" He chuckled. It felt strange to know that he had at least one secret admirer on the ship, even if she wasn't his type at all.
"There is absolutely nothing, I'm just being nice!"
It was kind of cute to see her so shy, but Sanji feared by making her reveal her secret, he had upset her.
"You know what would be nice now? Cup of tea and some cookies!" Sanji felt like it would cheer her up.
"Yes, that would be nice" y/n seemed relieved.
He was happy to take care of her. When he brought her tea and cookies, they ended up talking about everything, forgetting the time. It felt like he already knew her.
As the sun began to set, they finally finished the album. Y/n closed the book with a satisfied sigh.
"Thank you so much, Usopp! I wouldn't have been able to finish it without you" she said, giving him a warm smile.
Sanji felt a strange warmth in his chest at her words. He realized that he had genuinely enjoyed spending time with her, even if she wasn't Nami.
"It was my pleasure" he replied sincerely.
Y/n looked at him curiously. "You seem different today, Usopp. More... thoughtful."
Sanji scratched the back of his head nervously. "Well, sometimes you just need a change of perspective, you know?"
Sanji couldn't help but reflect on the day. He had expected it to be a tiresome chore, but it had turned out to be a surprisingly enjoyable experience. And he couldn't deny that y/n's company had something special about it.
You
When Sanji and Nami returned, victorious, there was a small celebration for everyone, including Trafalgar Law, he seemed to randomly visit more and more, much to Luffy's delight. The captain of the heart pirates sat next to you and since he was both creepy and frightening, you left him alone, instead talking to Usopp.
He had been unusually calm and polite these past days, but was back to his usual, loud self now. You made jokes and watched him shoot peas at Luffy across the table.
"You strawhats really are a piece of work" Law said next to you, looking unnerved and tired.
"Is it too loud for you, Tra?" You turned to him, trying to include him.
"Not exactly" He answered.
"I just hope that the constant body switching in this crew stops now" He pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Constant? " you asked.
"Yes, a few weeks ago, now once again." He leaned back, looking exhausted, "I should never have used that power on punk hazard." He crossed his arms.
"What do you mean - now? Who changed?" You couldn't believe they wouldn't tell you. But than again, you didn't tell anyone, either.
"Well, before it was you and Nami-ya, now Sanji-ya and Usopp-ya. I hope her scheming ends now " As he leaned back, you saw that Sanji was standing at the table with a tablet full of drinks, brows drawn.
Slowly, you processed what you just heard. Sanji and Usopp switched bodies. That meant...Usopp's strange behavior was because it was really Sanji.
Your heart beat frantically as you realized the reality: Sanji had been in Usopp's body. He knew that you had a crush on him.
A quick glance at Sanji revealed that he must have heard everything clearly. He looked confused and thoughtful, even though Robin was trying to get his attention.
"EXCUSE ME" you almost choked on your own voice, working hard to keep it together and get past Sanji to the exit. He let you pass, but gave you a strange look.
Trying to act as innocent and normal as possible, you walked out, closed the door to the dining room and ran to the girl's room to have a small breakdown.
Sanji
Y/n had left in a hurry.
"Hey Law, what did you just say about Nami switching bodies?" Sanji asked, a bit in shock.
"Just what I said. A few weeks ago I already helped Nami-ya by making a switch" He said dryly.
"When exactly?" Sanji asked.
"Three weeks if you have to know. In that town with the casinos." He answered.
Now he couldn't deny it anymore.
He never went on a date with Nami, no wonder she didn't seem to remember anything they talked about. It had been Y/n. They almost kissed.
He needed a smoke, fast. He headed outside.
Lighting his cigarette in the cool night air cleared his head. What a mess, he thought, So I was on a date with Y/n in Nami's body, and she hung out with me in Usopp's body. How stupid. And on top of all that, she likes me.
He breathed out smoke. Actually, he had felt really comfortable with her. His time with her was enjoyable. It was effortless to talk to her, she was kind and gentle with him. Made him feel safe.
She also liked him. He kind of liked her, too. She wasn't his usual type, but still cute, in her own way. But she's not the kind of lady he always dreamed of.
He rolled the thoughts around in his head. But first things first, he needed to clear the air between them. Be a man.
He knocked at her door, no one answered.
"Hey y/n, open up!" He said.
"Go away!" She sobbed.
Now he's made her cry, great.
"Don't cry! I am not mad! In fact, I'm flattered. Let's stay friends, though!" He put his ear against the door and heard another loud sob.
"Just don't cry anymore!" He couldn't bear it, it made his chest clench and his stomach turn to hear a girl cry.
"Please, leave me alone now!" Her voice was barely audible throught the wood. It felt wrong to leave her alone now, he had to do something. He sat down and leaned against the door.
"I am sorry I never really noticed you, that wasn't fair. But I'm here now." He listened for an answer.
You
"Sanji, you're not helping!" You cried through the door.
"Let's talk about it. I know you've been in Nami's body for the day we went shopping. You know I hung out with you these past days as Usopp. I can't return your feelings, but I learned that we can be good friends. I want to spend more time with you! And I'm not mad or weirded out. I swear from this day forth, I'll be the best friend you ever had!"
It wasn't the best idea to get comforted by the guy who broke your heart, but in this second he was so sincere, you couldn't help but feel a little better.
You opened the door - he almost fell on top of you. Both of you chuckled nervously.
"Yeah, let's be friends" you agreed, doubting that your feelings for him would vanish anytime soon.
-----
So since all of you have had so many great ideas I chose to write ALL THE ENDINGS!
Chose between
- Sanji or Zoro
- Law or Sanji
- no one (coming soon)
Taglist
@sophsgloom @nim-rose @iloveartofcartoons-blog
493 notes · View notes
jessejaredstories · 8 months
Text
Twisted Wish
Matthew was an average, everyday kind of guy from the suburbs. He was the 22 year old only child of happily married parents with middle class standing. He was also in his last year of college with a major in history. The only thing that helped set him apart was the fact that he was gay, but even his sexuality didn't really matter much in a big city full of twinks like him. All things considered, Matthew was a pretty ordinary guy with nothing particularly remarkable about him.
However, just because Matthew lived a normal life doesn't mean he didn't have his own set of problems. For example, he was 22 going on 23 and he was still a virgin who has never even had a real boyfriend. Sure, he had gone on plenty of first dates, but none of them ever went anywhere beyond the first date. It was the lack of romantic and sexual experience that made up Matthew's biggest insecurities. There were nights where he would stay up wondering if he would ever find Mr. Right. But what really made Matthew insecure was his roommate Dave. 
Dave was a player. He was a lady's man through and through. In the short year Matthew's known him, Dave had already gone through 3 girlfriends and was currently working on his fourth. But that was just the girls he's dated, Dave's had plenty of side chicks too. Everytime a new one popped up, Matthew already knew he was gonna get sexiled and made himself scarce without Dave asking him to. Despite how often it happened, Matthew honestly didn't mind Dave's horny habits. Though he would be lying if he said he wasn't jealous of Dave. If some frat bro like Dave could get laid anytime he wanted, why couldn't he? 
One Saturday night, while Matthew was by himself in the apartment, he spent the evening on his phone. He was endlessly scrolling through several social media sites while streaming some random movie for background noise. Matthew spent several hours online before finally getting tired of his phone. He began closing all the tabs, but during his clicking frenzy, he accidentally hit a pop-up ad. The pop-up took him to another website called "Reality Wizard." The ugly, gaudy colors of the website caught Matthew's interest just before he could exit out. Matthew took a moment to read the website’s welcome message. It read:
“Make a wish and the Reality Wizard will make it come true.”
From what Matthew could gather, the “Reality Wizard” seemed to be some online genie game. It seemed pretty straightforward albeit cheaply made. The little genie avatar had its arms open as if it was beckoning Matthew to make a wish. Something about its digital eyes made Matthew uncomfortable. He felt as if it was somehow looking directly at him despite it just being a static image on his phone. It was surreal to say the least. 
But instead of simply exiting out of the website, Matthew decided to play along with it. He didn’t have anything better to do after all, so why not play along and make a wish to a fake genie? Matthew laid back on his bed as he thought about what to wish for. Then after a minute of thinking, he typed in his wish.
“I wish I could get laid just as much as my straight roommate does.”
Matthew chuckled as he finished typing up his wish. While there was some actual sentiment behind it (he was a desperate virgin after all), Matthew found more humor in making the genie respond to something dirty and see what happens. He hit submit and waited. The screen reloaded after a second, but all that changed was the genie’s eyes were now closed. Matthew waited a while longer but nothing else happened. 
Once he was bored again, Matthew finally closed out of “Reality Wizard.” The night was still young when Matthew found himself alone with nothing else to do. That was when he decided to do what any other guy would do: jerk off! 
Matthew pulled down his sweats and let his soft dick flop out while he pulled up an incognito tab on his phone. He then went straight to PHub to find a good video to rub one out to. But unfortunately for Matthew, there was nothing worth clicking on on the home page. He then spent the next 10 or so minutes searching for a good video. By the time he found one, he had ended up in the MMF video category. Matthew didn’t mind a woman in his videos, he could just focus on the men after all. He hit play, skipped to the good part, and started jerking off.
Between Matthew and the trio in the video, moans and groans quickly began to fill the empty apartment as Matthew pumped away at his cock. Despite being a total bottom, Matthew still had an above average length clocking in at about 6 inches. Even though his dick never saw any fucking action, it still made jerking off fun as he used both hands to stroke himself. 
“Aww fuck yeah…” The trio had switched into a sandwich position with one of the men getting fucked while fucking the woman at the same time. Matthew was loving the man on man action. “Fuck that man ass! Make him your bitch!!”
While Matthew was jerking off, the wish he had just made to the “Reality Wizard” began to come true! But not in the way Matthew expected…
The genie’s magic began to take effect. Matthew was always a skinny twink, but the wish he made caused his body to change. His body was quickly gaining weight until Matthew had some heft to his figure. His arms and thighs filled in with the extra mass, as did his chest until he had big enough pecs to grab and squeeze. The same happened to his ass! Although he already had a nice, perky ass before the changes, Matthew now possessed the bubble butt of a gym rat. Even his cock and balls grew until he had an obscenely long and girthy member. His new dick was now 7.5 inches and hung low like a bull with how heavy his cum filled balls had become.
After the extra mass came the body hair. Matthew’s once perfectly smooth body began sprouting hair everywhere! His hair grew out until he had shoulder length curls like Tarzan. His face tingled as a full beard and mustache quickly grew in. His chest and midsection got covered with a fine layer of brown hair. Even his pit and pubic hair grew and grew until he had an unruly forest of hair in each area. By the time the transformation was finally over, Matthew had become an unrecognizable version of himself as he was now a testosterone-filled, hairy beast of a young man. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
But even though Matthew just went through a magical transformation, his mind was still focused entirely on jerking off to the video. The two men and one woman were still going hard at it in a line. The camera angles kept alternating between focusing on the two men and focusing on the woman getting fucked. Matt’s favorite was seeing the man’s cheeks getting clapped from behind. 
“Oh fuuuck I’m close..” 
Matt threw his head back against his pillow. He could feel the pressure building up in his throbbing cock as he was getting ready to shoot his load out. He picked up his stroking speed. He was getting sweaty and red in the face as he was getting closer and closer to finishing. 
Matt lifted his head again when he heard the woman begging for more. He kept his eyes focused on the video. The video had a wide shot which showed all three of them. Matt started with the two men, but as he kept stroking, he found his eyes unconsciously gravitating towards the woman. Matt wasn’t sure why he did that. He shifted his attention back to men, but found himself focusing back on the woman again within seconds. Suddenly, the woman was all Matt could focus on. Even if he tried to look away he just couldn’t! Even if he tried to imagine a hot man with a hung cock all Matt could picture was a woman with massive tits! Matt was panting at the sight of the woman’s tiddies bouncing up and down as she took a pounding. Her beautiful body was wet with sex sweat. Seeing her throw her head back as she let out a loud moan made Matthew tremble and twitch with anticipation. He couldn’t take it anymore, he had to burst!
Matt let out a guttural groan as ropes of warm cum shot out of his engorged cock. His hairy chest became drenched with his spunk. Even by the time he finished shooting load after load, his dick was still twitched and throbbing with how much cum he shot out. Matt sighed with relief as he threw his arms back to cool down after such an intense jerk off session. His body hair was dripping with how drenched it was with sweat and cum. On top of that, the room now reeked of a man’s sweaty musk, but Matt didn’t care. He was satisfied and content. 
Tumblr media
Once Matt finally caught his breath, it was time for him to clean up the sticky mess he just made. His initial instinct was to gather up all his cum with his fingers and then swallow it all, but Matt stopped when he realized how fucking gay that was. He had absolutely no interest in ever tasting cum. After all, why would a straight guy like Matt want to swallow cum? 
Matt went to the bathroom and cleaned the jizz off his body. He then went ahead and changed his bed sheets too due to dripping all over them. Once that was done, Matt stood in his bedroom. He then lifted his arm up, letting the wild bush of pit hair hang free as he took a deep sniff of himself. Matt could smell some musk, but decided it wasn’t anything some cologne couldn’t cover up. 
“Yo! Anyone home?” 
Matt’s ears perked up when he heard his roommate Dave call out. He then walked out and greeted his best bud by dabbing him up. Matt and Dave were brothers from different mothers and were known for their unbeatable bromance.
“Dave, my man! What are you doing home so early!? It’s barely midnight!”
“I know, bro, but check it, Darcy just invited me to go check out this new club downtown with her. It’s hella exclusive, you gotta come with us, Matt! I need my shotgun brother there if I’m gonna club all night!! Plus, Darcy’s got a friend. Brianna, I think you’ll like her…”
“She cute?” Matt asked with an eyebrow raised. Dave nodded. “Cup size?”
“Double D’s, AND she never wears a bra when she goes out! Trust me bro, you gotta meet her, I know for a fact y’all are perfect together!!”
Matt was convinced the moment he heard “D.” He was always a boobs over ass kinda guy after all. Matt quickly got dressed, then went out to have the best night of his life at the club with his bro Dave, ending with them tag teaming Darcy and Brianna in bed. All while Matt was completely oblivious to the fact that the Reality Wizard had granted his wish. Matt definitely got laid just like his straight roommate Dave, just like he wished, although he probably didn’t expect the online genie to twist his carelessly worded wish. Not that Matt really cared about his former self, after all, he had a girlfriend with two very big reasons why he should enjoy the new reality he wished for himself.
Tumblr media
468 notes · View notes
reality-exodus · 1 year
Text
Detective's rescue
Pairing: Eddie Diaz x Reader
Summary: Eddie's relationship, the reader is a detective, they both on 24hour shift. Reader responds a 9-1-1 call and ends up needing first aids
Warning: blood, angst, OD symptoms described, mention of drugs
Tumblr media
Being a detective on patrol wasn't the best thing ever to be frank, but it was something when you knew your boyfriend would accompany you all night long with his own 24 hour shift, it was rare thing for our double shifts to be on the same time, but when it happened I both liked it and didn't like it, we were both out. I usually work on cases in the office and do my research and help the firefighters with cases and they help me occasionally.
"So where are you strolling now?" Eddie asked, I was driving while I had a Bluetooth headphone.
"In the area of the homicide, the father killed his daughter while the mother was away… there is still no handy information for a warrant so I am looking for something I've missed" I explained briefly as I was driving past the house.
"Baby…" Eddie started to say, I knew how he felt when I was getting so passionate about a case. He disliked it, I overworked myself and forgot many things such as sleeping, eating or going to my shift.
"How about you? Didn't hear anything from dispatch, quiet night?" I wondered, cutting him off elegantly, setting my line of defense. I wasn't like Athena, I do not leave my job behind once my shift is over, I admire her for that though. I actually have to spend more of my personal time researching and studying. I have to go undercover to gather information, but I am not complaining. Sometimes though I need my people to understand me.
"Yea we are just hanging around." He replied with a heavy sigh he didn't respond to the q-word, I knew he wouldn't be bothered. I knew the response was unwilling. He knew my drill "Buck fell asleep at the Gym, Bobby and Hen are playing chess and Chimney is cooking" he analysed their situation and I smiled.
"Tell him to make an extra plate for me, I'll be dropping by" I spoke hoping that would make up for my big-headed behaviour.
"Oh You i decided to have a proper meal other than burgers and donuts" he joked with small giggle.
"Happens sometimes" I chuckled when I heard the wireless "babe hang on"
"This is 221-L99 available tell me the issue dispatch" I asked, I could tell it was May.
"Alright, there's drug dealing on the "overroof" club, there's a rave going on, some ODs based on caller's information, 118 of LAFD shall be there to take care of those." She informed me as I heard the bell on Eddie's side.
"I'll be in touch Dispatch" I spoke as I was connected to the team I would cooperate.
"Diaz no phones on patrol" I spoke as I was driving and couldn't finish the call. "221-L99 moving on scene. I am nearby I see three overdosed in their twenties one male two female they are simply left on the ground I am engaging the victims now." I spoke and got out of the car.
"Copy detective" Captain Nash affirmed me.
I approached the victims and checked the pulses. "All alive you need to come in quick…" I couldn't leave the uncouncisous civilians alone.
"Already ahead of you detective you are clear to proceed" my boyfriend replied sweetly, or at least that's what I thought.
"Dispatch moving in the club incognito, there's no bouncer or doorman" I informed them and opened the door. This wasn't a good sign, the dance floor was empty and so was the kitchen, I would have to go down stairs. "Ground floor empty moving to basement staircase" I announced and moved i could hear voices. "Dispatch sent some back up, I hear people" I spoke and dispatch obeyed my request.
I was right behind the stairs and I heard enough keywords that included heroin, drugs, and that the police can't find. That was my queue. "LAPD hands in the air" I yelled, Eddie always said that my voice in that phrase was so cold, smooth and dictated he found it sexy. "Don't move" I ordered. My voice was strong. They were three but I had a gun.
"Nope ass" one said and charged to get my phone I kicked him to the ground he slid to the floor with no Injury but before i could get in control of the other two, they had two bags of drugs five kilos each if I calculated correct the moment one of them came and punched in my face causing the white dust to be spread all around me in the air I stumbled backwards fell hitting my head on staircase, I took a deep breath trying to orientate, my vision got blurry.
"Detective Y/L/N, report" I heard dispatch between the ringing of my ears but the only response I could find was groan, I felt my heart going erratically with the beats. I was shaking.
"Detective" It was Captain Nash this time, his voice tense. But there was a pause. "Dispatch three offenders running away with two white bags one leaking" he reported and that's when my sudden dysphoria was making sense.
"Help" I managed to pronounce "OD" as I started to shake. I couldn't make out what I was hearing or what was going on, suddenly I saw Eddie in a mask with Chimney. They moved me outside my eyes were wide open but I couldn't react I was shaking, my body started twitching, I was held down, I could recognize Eddie's arms pressing me down, and smaller but still powered hands in my legs, chimney my guess. I coughed I could feel the salty, warm liquid laking inside my mouth, I coughed again.
"Baby… I am here" Eddie's voice was fading as black spots invaded my vision as I started having trouble breathing.
"I get no pulse" Chimney announced, "Hen start compressions" he instructed as he pushed on the oxygen in my face
"Oh no no honey, please-" before Eddie could finish his sentence I heard Buck taking him away as another person took his position next to me.
"Captain bring the AED" Hen requested she kept the pounds on my chest.
"Still unresponsive" Chimney said, causing Eddie to make a movement closer to me, Captain and Buck held him back
"I'm unbuckling the shirt, we are shocking" Hen spoke I heard footsteps
"Eddie please leave" Captain requested with a heavy sigh, I am sure he thought of the time Athena was in my position.
"Just let me be by Y/N Captain" Eddie requested , next thing I feel his warm loving hands on my face removing my hair stroking my cheek his fingers on my neck in desperate hope he would get the slight pulsation in my veins.
"Eddie hands" Hen spoke and he removed them as I felt electricity, I couldn't define what kind of pain it was or if it was, more like a sting to my whole body that would either wake me up or be the last thing I feel…
"Give me more Chim" Hen encouraged him the third clear was heard, the screen kept beeping. There was silence other than that.
"No no no baby no" Eddie panicked he started compressions but Buck pulled him off of my body. He yelled at him Buck yelled back I wasn't sure, my ears started ringing, was I dying…? The first ponder that dominated my mind, made my stomach twitch. I coughed vomit out…
I was alive
"Hey girl, hey easy now" Hens' voice sounded and turned me to the side to let it all out. Chimney secure my position so it wouldn't cause any damage.
Eddie raced next to me, he leaned in and kissed my forehead "oh god love, you scared me so much." I smiled as I turned on my back looking at him upside down as he leaned above my head.
"I'm sorry" I smiled and reached his face, I was shaking rapidly, he simply took my hand and kissed the palm before bringing it to his cheek, his cheek so hot against my freezing skin.
"Hey no no, it's not your fault, we must get you to the hospital now alright?" He smiled down at me and my smile faded at the hearing of the location I had to be.
"I won't be admitted in, I'll sign out" I announced, the sweet moment long gone as I made a move to get of the stretcher.
"Wow,now detective, you have to be cleared out in order to return to your cases, we are transferring you to the ER. I have to do it by the book, you know the drill" Captain Nash intervened immediately, and I could see the relief on my fiancee's face.
"Ah now we are by the book, that's nice to hear" I barked, I knew I was wrong, but hospitals, hospitals gave me anxiety, Eddie would have to go to Christopher eventually and I don't like being alone in those white cold rooms. "Guys please" I pleaded
"you are facing an extended pcp od, and a small hit on the back of your head, your blood pressure is perilly high and you have extremely unstable arrhythmias" Hen essayed the reasons I should listen to them as my eyes turned teary I was panicking.
"Hey hey sweetie" Eddie sighed "I'll be with you the whole time" he promised and kissed my cheek gently as they all stood up carrying me to the ambulance. He stepped in sat next to me while Hen joined, just in case. He was holding my hand, just looking at me, his ember eyes, he was worried even if he wouldn't admit.
"What about Christopher?" I asked concerned.
"Buck is already on his way, but how are you feeling Y/N?" He asked me softly stroking my head.
"I have dysphoria" I explained and soon Hen gave me a mask my eyelids turned heavy as I slipped from counsiousness.
I don't know what time it was, or how long I've been out. I blinked my vision clear, the lighting was dim in the room Eddie fell asleep on the chair next to me, I couldn't help but smile. He did stay. I stood up holding on my IV, feeling lightheaded, I moved to the bathroom, I looked terrible red eyes pale skin, weakness though was the worse.
"Y/N;" I heard his voice call my name in alert.
"What is it?" I asked making abrupt movement to get to the door I leaned there feeling another hit of vertigo getting the best of me.
"I thought you left, hey let me help you baby" he sighed in relief and approached, he was still on patrol clothes. He scooped a hand over my waist and held my weight as he walked me to the bed, softly placing me to lay down.
"Can I kiss you now? Or I am still high?" I asked him placing my hands around his neck, the IV tube got tangled between us, he smiled getting it out of the way. He leaned in and kissed my nose. His lips formed a smile.
"You have been good tonight, not running away, so it is well deserved" he smiled and located his lips on mine, the sweet kiss forming, he was gentle and cautious as he was touching me.
"Mhm mostly because I have been unconscious all night long and I get dizzy after three steps, that played it's part too" I spoke and kissed his cheek softly
"Let a man be happy" he spoke faking frustration before he kissed me again. And again.
986 notes · View notes
rafferty3207 · 10 months
Note
hi! could i request jamie x reader. neighbours. annoyance to lovers please?
Tumblr media
I loved this idea and also got massively carried away as always, so this will have to be split in two parts!
warnings: two horny idiots as usual, swearing, artist fem!reader, nudity
Too Good to be True (part one)
You knew it was too good to be true.
When your mum’s quirky bohemian friend Sylvia told you that she needed someone to house sit over the summer, you never realised it would look like this. You had always known she was well-off, but it turns out Sylvia was rich rich. Her house was in a beautiful area of London you had never been before, full of tall semi terraced Georgian buildings with big ornate gardens. It was the sort of area almost exclusively frequented by yummy mummies and incognito celebrities.
As you walk around all the gorgeous rooms, tenderly stroking the furniture, you felt like you couldn’t have wished for a nicer place if you tried. After living in an awful house share with terrible roommates for the last six months, you were ready for some alone time.
This was not to be. On your first day in the house, after several hours exploring all the nooks and crannies, you eventually fall asleep in her massive bed around midnight; however, you are rudely awoken about four hours later by the sound of arguing outside. You try to ignore them but it only gets louder, until you are forced to put on one of Sylvia’s many(!) silk robes and investigate.
You march outside to see two men facing each other in the doorframe of the house attached to yours.
“Would you two mind shutting the fuck up? It’s 4am and some of us are trying to sleep?”
They both turned around. They are both incredibly handsome; one is dark and surly looking and standing outside with his arms crossed. The other has an incredible jawline and floppy boyband hair, and is still standing in the doorway. The boyband one looks you up and down and you feel your cheeks heat up. It’s times like these you regretted sleeping in the nude, as you huddle the way-too-thin robe tightly around you. He eventually folds his arms indignantly and opens his mouth.
“Love, you don’t understand, we’re -”
“I do not give a flying fuck who you are, just be quiet. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in months and I’m not about to have two bozos ruin it with their lover’s tiff.” 
You huff, turning swiftly back indoors before a sharp night’s breeze could expose you.
The surly man who had remained quiet for this entire exchange turns to his friend.
“I like her.”
____
The next morning, you open the front door to find a small beautiful wrapped box.On the label it just says,
Hey Neighbour,
Sweet Dreams 
Jamie xx
Jamie. That must have been the floppy haired one.
You tentatively open it to find a small pair of earplugs. The cheeky git. 
However, that night when you climb into bed, you spot the box of earplugs. You don’t want to use them out of spite, but also you are shattered and couldn’t risk getting woken up again.
You were surprised to wake up a whole 12 hours later. It's the best you've felt in a long time. You look up the earplugs online and it turns out they are very expensive. He may be rude, but at least he wasn't cheap. You consider thanking him, especially as you start regularly seeing him stretching or working out in the garden, until one day he catches you looking.  He waves at you with the smug grin of a prick who knows how good he looks, and you have to immediately walk away. At this point you decide never to talk to him again if you can help it. After all, it was just one summer - how much could you see him really?
It’s the next Sunday when you are walking home from your weekly shop in perhaps your grossest sweats, hair everywhere and glasses still on. To make matters worse, you're struggling as you always buy too much to fit into your bag.
It’s at this point when some dreadful orange sports car pulls up next to you and honks their horn, making you nearly jump out of your skin and drop half your stuff on the ground. You turn around just to see a familiar smug face as he waves at you before speeding off. No, he is a prick.
After you make it home, you decide to forget all about him. But these are old houses, and the walls are thinner than you’d like. More specifically, a week or so later, as you get into bed you think you can hear a voice. You think it may be a ghost, until you hear a distinct Mancunian twang and you realise that Jamie’s bedroom is directly connected to yours (or at least one of them was, who was to say how many bedrooms these sorts of houses had.) It’s when you hear another, softer voice that you realise that maybe Jamie has company.
But it’s fine. He’s allowed to have people over. You go back to your book until ten minutes later, when you start hearing very different noises. He definitely was not alone. And clearly whoever he was with was having a great time.
Your stomach tightens. This isn't just annoying at this point, it’s downright depressing. You can't remember the last time someone made you feel like that. As much of a patronising shit as he was, you had to admit that Jamie was very attractive. You try to keep reading, but you soon find your imagination straying into unwanted territory. Your entire body goes flush when you catch yourself, so you put your earplugs in and go to sleep. Eventually.
—-
It's a blisteringly hot day and you've made the mistake of buying yet another heavy shop. As you're walking home, you're covered in sweat. You're trying to get home as fast as you can before some of the food defrosts in this heat, but it's like wading through hot sticky mud.
You take one more step and suddenly feel a bit lightheaded. You stagger to a nearby wall and sit down, looking down at your feet. It's at this point that of course you see out of the corner of your eye, a familiar orange car pulling up in front of you. You wave a hand away.
"Not now Jamie." 
"Are you alright?"
You look up and he's got a genuine look of concern on his face.
"Yeah, I just needed a breather. If you haven't noticed, it's very hot out here."
He pauses for a moment.
"Did you want a lift?"
"I'm good, thanks. It's not that far."
"Don't be daft, just get in the car."
"Jamie -"
"It's got really good air con."
You look at your bags. You really didn't want the food to go bad in this heat.
"Fine."
You drop your bags into the bag and slide into the seat next to him. You can't help but notice how gross and sweaty you were on his nice leather seats.
"Sorry, I'm very gross and sweaty." You immediately say without thinking.
He looks over and laughs.
"Trust me, this car has seen a lot worse."
You groan.
"Oh come on, I don't need to imagine that."
"I just meant after training, Jesus woman, get your head out of the gutter!"
"Training for what?"
He laughs again. "You're joking, right?"
You shake your head.
"You seriously don't know who I am?"
"Should I?"
He smiles as he looks back out to the road.
"Nah, I guess not."
You look around his car.
"All I need to know is that you've clearly got more money than sense."
"Oi, I'm doing you a favour here like a bloody gentleman!"
“I mean I don’t know if this is really a favour. You could be kidnapping me for all I know.”
“Love, I’ve got more than enough money. I do not need to kidnap some random bird for a ransom.”
“Who says you’re doing it for money?”
He sighs and shakes his head.
“You’re impossible, you know that?”
“Impossible, or just practical? Us ‘random birds’ have got to look out for ourselves.”
“Well then, Your Highness, we have arrived.” Jamie signals to your door as the car pulls to a stop.  “You can get out now, I promise.”
You get out and go to get your bags,but Jamie quickly grabs them and is walking to your door. You run ahead, making sure you’ll be able to get in and clear any embarrassing debris before he can see it.
"You don't have to do that, you know." 
He shrugs. "I used to help my mum carry her shopping all the time when it was just me and her. Now I just pay to get it delivered to her house." 
You stop at the front door. The admission strikes you. You wondered for a moment what Jamie was like when he was younger. You wondered where his dad was. However, Jamie didn’t understand your silence.
“I’m not trying anything, I swear. I won’t come in and …” He looks around. “Steal your knickers or whatever.”
You scoff as you turn around.
“That’s a weird thing to say.”
He huffs in exasperation.
“Look, my arms are going to drop off, can you just open the bloody door already?”
“Alright, but if any one of my knickers are gone, you’re in serious trouble.” 
“Aye aye captain.” He tries to salute, but wacks himself in the face with one of the bags. You stifle a laugh, before letting him in. He smiles at you for a moment, and you feel an unfamiliar warm feeling in your chest. Best to just ignore that and get back to the task at hand.
As you put everything away, he looks around. There are unfinished canvas and paint everywhere.
"Are you one of them fancy pants artists then?"
"Not yet. I'm one of those unpaid ones.” You suddenly feel very shy. “I'm just house-sitting for the summer, I'm not rich. Unlike you.”
“So no one is paying your ransom then?”
“No one would pay good money for me. In fact, they might actually pay you for taking me away.” You say it flippantly, but Jamie sees the slightly dejected look on your face.
“So maybe you should be the one kidnapping me, eh? I tell you, I’d go for a pretty penny.” He gently biffs your arm. You don’t look at him, continuing to pack away the shopping.
“Well if I ever have to turn to a life of crime, you’ll be the first to know.”
He stands around for a minute, as if he’s not sure what to do with himself, before going to leave.
“Thanks, by the way.” You call out.
He turns around and shrugs.
“Any time.”
“I wouldn’t say that if I were you. Next thing you know, you’ll be my personal Uber.”
He jogs down the front steps, without looking back.
“Only if you start tipping!”
___
A few days later, you're gardening when suddenly a ball crashes into the ground right near your hand. You scream, causing Jamie to pop his head over.
"Jesus Jamie, are you trying to kill me?"
You stand up and dust your knees. He's got that concerned look on his face yet again. 
"Are you alright?"
You reassure him. "I'm fine, you just missed me.” You pinch your fingers almost together. “Just."
He looks sheepish.
"I'm sorry."
You fold your arms.
"You should be."
As you say this, two other men peer their head over the fence.
"Sorry miss. We're just playing a round of cricket."  One replies in a soft Welsh accent. Behind them, you notice the surly man sitting in the back of the garden, who nods at you.
"Roy's taking a break if you want to join?" Jamie offers you the bat.
"Are you asking me to play with you Jamie?" 
"Well, you're less likely to get hit in this garden."
"Hmmm." You think of all the empty canvas you were ignoring. "Fine, but let me get changed first."
As you start to walk into the house, one of the boys turns to Jamie.
"You didn't tell me your neighbour was fit."
"Isaac, don’t even think about it.”  Jamie chides him. Something about this made your stomach feel squiggly, but you couldn’t put a name on it. 
This squiggly feeling means it takes you a little longer than planned to get dressed, as you meticulously scrub the dirt from your hands and knees and maybe apply a tinted lipbalm or two. By the time you come back out, the men seem to have doubled and one of them has somehow set up a barbecue. The game of cricket seems long forgotten as they sit and drink around the fire pit. You pick up a beer bottle and wander around, trying to slip into one of the group conversations.
“When do you think Ted and Rebecca will get together?” A man with a strong french accent says.
“I dunno, I still think him and Trent have got something going on.” Colin muses thoughtfully. Isaac nods with him.
“Yeah man, there were vibes between them at Christmas.”
You decide to pipe up now before you have to figure out who Ted, Trent or Rebecca was.
"Sorry to interrupt, but how do you all know each other?".
The boys look at each other, then Jamie.
"We all play football together." Jamie finally breaks the silence.
"Oh that's cute!” You look around at this crew. They are all very handsome, but all looked very different, from all walks of life.  “It's so hard to make friends as an adult I find, so it's good to have hobbies. Do you think I'll be allowed to come to one of your matches?"
They all look at each other again and start to laugh. You think you've missed something but you figure it's some inside joke.
One of the guys, who you think you heard referred to as Sam, leans forward. "So Miss, what do you do for a living?" 
You take a swig from your bottle.
"I'm an art teacher. I teach at the local college, although it's mainly adult evening classes. You know the saying, ‘those who can't do, teach’.  At least, that’s what my dad likes to say."
"But you can do though." Jamie pipes up from behind his beer. "I've seen all them canvas in your house."
"Ah, you are a painter. Are you more of a modernist or post modernist?" Jan, the tall Dutch one asks.
"I don’t know, I mean I've got a show at the end of the summer which I'm preparing for but I'm not very good-"
"If you've got a show you must be good. Or at least someone thinks so." Jamie folds his arms.
“I mean, I guess, the guy at the gallery did personally invite me-.”
“There you go.” Jamie nodded triumphantly.
“Can we see them? The paintings?” Sam asked.
“Not yet! They are nowhere near ready!” This was somewhat true. For the most part, you had barely started. You had been struggling for inspiration lately, but you weren’t going to tell this extremely attractive group of men that. “You’ll have to come to the art show. I’ve got some flyers in the house. I can get them if you like?”
The boys enthusiastically nod, and you make sure to hand them each one, with Jamie receiving the last flyer. Your fingers brush for a moment, and you find yourself staring at each other a bit too long until you are interrupted by a loud cough.
“The meat is ready, Jamie.” Roy loudly announced.
“Coming!”
The rest of the night goes quickly in a blur, as all the boys bombard you with questions and you find yourself chatting to all of them in depth. You’re pretty sure you know all their life stories by the end of it. Eventually, the night wears on and they all slope off one by one until it’s just you, Jamie and Roy left. Roy is sound asleep on Jamie’s couch, and the two of you quietly start cleaning up.
“You don’t have to help me, you know.” Jamie says. “I’m a big boy, I can clean up after meself.”
You drop a can into the recycling bag.
“I know. But a nice guy dropped me off when I was struggling to take my shopping home, so I thought I’d return the favour.”
Jamie stopped what he was doing.
“You don’t owe me anything.”
You looked at him confused.
“I know.”
The two of you go back to tidying in silence.
“So, Isaac thinks I’m fit, does he?”
Jamie drops the bottle he was holding. He frantically grabs a dustpan and brush and frantically starts brushing the broken glass. Roy stirs for a minute, then rolls back over. You gently took the dustpan off him and empty it into the bin.
“No! Er, I mean, he does, but he thinks anything with a pulse is fit.”
“So you’re saying he’s got low standards?”
“No, that’s not what I meant, it’s just- just-”
“I’m teasing. I obviously know that just means he has excellent taste.”
“And I thought I had a big head.”
“I mean, you do, but that’s beside the point.”
“Oi, I can say it, but you can’t!” At this point, Jamie puts down the bag and picks up the hose.
“What do you think you’re doing with that?” You ask.
“What do you think?” He says, before switching it on, chasing you with the spray. You run away, screaming.
“I’ll get you for this!” 
“Oh yeah? What are you going to do to me?” He moves the hose to catch you again, but at the exact same time Roy walks outside and Jamie catches him in the face. You both freeze.
“Well I’ll see you tomorrow, Jamie!” You quickly leave, waving a goodbye as you start to hear the beginning of Roy’s bollocking.
Later, as you go up to your bedroom and dry your hair with a towel, you spot Jamie and Roy chatting in the garden. Jamie looks up at you and smiles. You smile and wave back, before pointing at your still soaking t-shirt.
“I hope you’re proud.” You mouth at him. He shrugs and you shake his head.
Roy turns to Jamie.
“When are you just going to fucking ask her out already?”
___
After the barbecue you start to see Jamie more often. 
He almost always drops you home from your big shop,  and sometimes drops you there too. He always says hello when you're in the garden and even starts asking for gardening advice. 
One day, when it is too hot, you buy a child's paddling pool to sit in your bikini. Jamie, who has been trying and failing to do his workout in the sun, asks if he can join you and the two of you sit in it in silence until the sun goes down. Both of you are definitely not checking each other out behind your sunglasses when the other isn’t looking.
Then one night, you go out with some of your old university friends. What was meant to be just one drink turns into several bottles and you find yourself outside the front door at 3am trying to get the key to work. 
After what feels like forever, you hear a door open.
"Oh, how the turn tables."
"Hello Jamie." You slur a little, swaying gently. "If you don't mind I could really do with focusing right now."
"Well it seems like you are doing just fine without me, so I'll leave you to it." He goes inside, sighing before coming straight back out again.
"Do you want to come in? Maybe have a cup of tea? Some toast?"
Your shoulders sag, "I would love that, yes. My feet are absolutely killing me." You follow him as enthusiastically as you can while he gently takes your arm and guides you in.
You flop down on the couch, quickly taking off your shoes and putting your feet up.
"Jamie, how long have you lived here?"
"About six months, why?"
"There's no decoration in here at all. This is the house of a killer, Jamie." He pops back around holding two mugs.
"I mean, I dunno. I'm not sure how to make it look good.
"It doesn't have to look good. It's your house. It just has to make you happy. What makes you happy Jamie?"
He takes a minute to think, screwing up his face in concentration.
“Bums?”
“Bums?”
“I like what I like.”
“Hmmm. We can work with that. Perhaps a big tasteful nude somewhere around here.” You wave your hand towards the fireplace.
“Do you paint nudes?” Jamie pauses for a moment. “Nude is them pictures of naked people right?”
“Yeah they are and are you asking me to paint you a nude Jamie? Men usually slide into my DMS for that sort of thing.”
“Not like that. I just think your art is really cool. It reminds me of that guy…what’s his name? Frankie Bakeoff?”
“Francis Bacon?”
“Yeah, that’s the one.”
“He’s actually one of my inspirations. You know, you've got a good eye Jamie.”
He sits down, placing the mugs on the table. 
“Er, I’ve got two good eyes actually.” He remains completely deadpan and at this point, you let out a proper laugh. 
“You know I never asked you what you do for a living. I mean, you’re obviously a comedian but you know, for money. Especially to live in a place like this.”
“I’m a footballer.”
“Haha, yeah, good one.”
“I don’t know why that’s so hard to believe. My name is Jamie Tartt and I play for AFC Richmond.” 
You squint at him, before pulling out your phone. You type in “Jamie Tartt.” And suddenly there are thousands and thousands of articles and pictures with tiny Jamies staring back at you.
“Oh my god. And all those boys at the BBQ -”
“They are my teammates.”
“Why didn’t you say anything earlier?” You cry out, putting your face in your hands. “I told all of them about my dad’s five a side! They must all think I’m a complete idiot!”
“Nah. They all thought it was pretty cute.”
“I’m glad someone finds my stupidity cute.”
“I dunno, I think a lot of stuff you do is cute.”
Your face goes red. He can’t have meant that. You look at him. He truly is beautiful, although he must know it. You remembered the woman in his room. He could get anyone and you know it.
“Have you ever done modelling Jamie?”
“I mean yeah. I’ve done shoots for stuff. Adidas, Nike and my own fragrance for men, Tarttbreaker.”
“What the hell does that even mean? You know what, never mind, I was just wondering..would you fancy posing? For a painting?” You look at your feet. “It’s just, I’m so sick of painting myself and oranges at this point.”
His eyes light up.
“Really? You want to paint me?”
“Don’t let it go to that massive head of yours Tartt.”
“I can’t promise anything.” He sits down next to you, placing the mugs on the table. The throbbing in your feet still hasn’t gone away, and without thinking you start rubbing your soles. Curse those beautiful shoes, you think to yourself.
“Here, I can help with that.” You didn’t realise Jamie was staring at your feet.
“What?”
“Trust me, I’m really good at foot rubs.”
“Is this some weird foot thing?”
“No, you perv. My physio showed me some really good tricks. You know the physio I have because I am a professional footballer, yeah?” You roll your eyes as he gently takes your foot.
“You’re never going to let me live that do-”
You can’t finish the sentence as you are distracted by just how good it feels. A small “fuck” slips out.
“Is that alright? I didn’t hurt ya, did I? I can stop.”
“No, no no no. No.”
You are surprised by your own enthusiasm. He slowly starts again, and you say nothing, until a small moan slips out. Jamie’s head suddenly whips up. 
“I mean, I think my ankles are more sore than anything -” He moves his hands up, moving his thumbs in slow circles. You thought this would improve things, but it’s just making things worse. Your heart is racing.
“And what about your calves?”
You nod dumbly. “They’re pretty - pretty sore too.”
His hands hesitantly move up your leg, up to your knees. His face inches closer to yours, his hands about to move down your thigh, when your stomach very loudly rumbles. He jumps up and your legs close shut.
“I was going to make you toast.”
“Yes, yes you were.” He leaves the room and you lie back on the couch. Your head is spinning.. What is going on? You think as your eyes slowly start to close. 
By the time Jamie finally returns to the room, two very distracted attempts at toast later, you are fast asleep on the couch. He picks up a blanket and covers you, before heading upstairs. He then lies down, closing his eyes for just a minute, until there is a soft knock on the door. 
“Are you ready for training, fuckhead?”
“Shh.” He points to you, sound asleep and snoring.
Roy tilts his head. Jamie whispers. “I’ll explain later.”
______
You wake up with a pounding headache. It takes you a second to realise you are not in your bed. You are on someone’s couch. Jamie’s couch.
You look at your phone. 9:03am. You look around for any sign of him, but it seems like he’s gone already. YOu decide to wash up the mugs, before you spot it on his fridge. There is no decoration in any of his flat, except one flyer that is stuck on the fridge. Your flyer.
You smile, before finding a piece of paper and a pen.
That afternoon, you return to your flat. Looking at your big canvas you know what to do.
___
Jamie finally gets back to his flat and he is exhausted. He hasn’t been able to stop thinking about last night, and as he suspected, you are long gone by the time he gets home.
However, as he walks through, he notices a little note stuck on the fridge in front of your flyer. 
Thanks for the tea and the footrub.
You can wake me up any time.
X
PS. Let me know when you’re free, you poser.
With your number added to the bottom.
He can’t help but smile to himself, before wandering out into the garden.
He hopes to see you there, but you’re not. He looks back towards the house and stops dead in his tracks. He can see you in one of the rooms, in front of one of your canvas. But you are completely naked. 
He looks away. He knows he shouldn’t. But maybe he just imagined it. He takes another quick look to confirm, you are definitely naked as the day you were born. You have your back to him, but it’s clear you are looking in some sort of mirror. He suddenly realises. You’re painting yourself. He walks quickly inside and decides it’s time to go to bed. He puts his earplugs in and goes to sleep. Eventually.
Thanks for reading! You can read chapter two here!
522 notes · View notes
harrieatthemet · 3 months
Text
Birthday
In which Harry has to have the last word... and a better present.
"There's my girl," he sings, a wide smile expeditiously appearing on his face, "my birthday girl."
Her smile is shy, which is ironic considering her outfit is lathered so dramatically in bright colors it could singlehandedly blind anyone within a 5 mile radius. Nonetheless though she skips over to Harry, wrapping her arms around his leg best she can.
Despite the animosity between the two of you and the not-so-subtle hard feelings, there's no fighting the smirk that creeps up on you when she squeals in amusement. Harry's got her in a cradle now, swinging her back and forth before sitting her on his hip. Their bond is so special and he's so effortlessly good with her. You almost forget how you were fighting the urge to throw a handful of plastic spoons at him under a minute ago.
"Can't believe you're turning fifty seven," he teases, "you're a little old lady!"
"M'turning five," she giggles, "still a baby!"
"What!" his dramatized gasp pulls a belly laugh right out of her, "mumma, is this th'tallest baby you've ever seen?!"
Your nod in agreement is emphatic as you pair it with a pretend shocked gasp, which only makes her laugh harder. She's squealing once Harry starts tickling under her chin; writhing sporadically in her spot on his hip as she's got nowhere to run to seek refuge. But eventually he relinquishes his grip after she begs for mercy, setting her back down on the floor before sending her off to check if any guests had began to trickle in.
On the counter he's placed two bags; both generously filled and near overflowing. His grip was so tight on the handles earlier he may have even lost feeling in his knuckles halfway on the walk to the front of the house.
"Did you get the candles?"
Now he's definitely lost feeling in his knuckles but not from carrying cheap plastic, but more-so because he's barely been 10 minutes in the house and you're already needling him.
"Candles?" his words come out in an annoyed exhale, "Y'never asked me about candles, (Y/N). If y'asked, I would've got them."
If he wasn't so well accustomed to the sound of it, he'd almost miss your exasperated groan as he started unpacking the shopping bags onto the kitchen counter.
It's obvious you're in a mood. He can tell by the tenseness in your stature and how frenetic you're moving around the kitchen island. Had you greeted him with a little more cordiality, he'd have complimented your over-achieving decoration execution. The house, inside and out, really looked beautiful.
"I did," you huff before undoing a package of paper napkins, "I asked you twice. Don't do that, Harry."
"Do what?"
"Berate me," you snap, "or tell me I didn't do something I know I did."
He throws his head back and lets out a long breath, "Y'don't even talk t'me on a good day, and now you're telling me y'asked me for candles? Like I'd forget candles for m'daughters birthday."
"Wouldn't be the first time you forgot something important."
"Oh fuck you f'that, really," you've managed to get him riled up in record time - a whopping 3 and a half minutes, "bloody unbelievable, you are, y'know?"
"Oh I am? Me - unbelievable?"
"I walk in and immediately it's th'bitching and the-"
Honestly he could drag on and on if time permitted. Once he gets going he finds it hard to bring it to a full stop. And usually, these arguments tend to get drawn out for that exact reason. He's promptly interrupted though when he hears a soft clicking of shoes and a familiar little voice roam in from the kitchen archway.
There's no need for him to turn around to see who it is. And she knows better by now than to say anything. Since the fighting initially became a household staple she's gotten pretty skilled in hallway loitering and incognito eavesdropping. How much she's already heard is unclear, but he's gonna table the conversation for now and act like it never happened. So are you.
"My friends are here!"
Sometimes it feels kind of like having an entirely separate identity. You often find yourself wondering if Harry ever feels the same way. When angel baby is around, it's kind of like switching off a light or getting caught doing something you shouldn't be. Because when she spawns in the room mid-argument, the energy shifts and you find yourself smiling a little too hard and over-compensating a bit too much.
And when she leaves, it's right back to the regular scheduled programming. You don't remember exactly when the turning point was that resulted in this; neither of you being able to stomach looking at the other, constantly arguing, going jab for jab, saying the worst thing that comes to mind out of spite or with the goal of tearing each other down.
"Not done talking about this," it's just like Harry to try and have the last word as he follows angel baby out of the room, "can y'table it for her birthday? Can y'manage that?"
It was an intentionally halfway-out-of-the-room delivered line, largely so you'd have no time to quip back at him with a snide comment or off-color remark. Because as soon as you follow him out to say something in rebuttal, you're stepping into an influx of people holding different-sized gifts in the middle of the front entrance.
It's almost like he's challenging you. Of course you can table it.
At least, you thought you could table it.
It's so irritating how easy it is for him to compartmentalize. It doesn't phase him at all that you were at each other's throats earlier. At least that's how it comes across in the way he seamlessly works the room; all cool and convivial with the inviting hugs and enthusiastic small talk. More likely than not, he's carved out 5 minutes for each guest tenfold. Whether it's an act or not, it really gets under your skin.
"Here petal," Harry encourages eagerly, handing an oversized professionally wrapped gift, "s'from me."
She's sat in an awkwardly shaped circle alongside a couple friends from school, giggling as Harry places the box in front of her. Her eyes light up merely at the size of it. The box itself is almost as tall as she is, and what 5 year old wouldn't gawk at a lavish gift that towers over them when sitting down. It was arguably the most predictable move right out of the 'separated parents' playbook.
"Had to get the biggest one, right?"
Beside you he stands, phone up to record as he watches angel baby rip the once perfect wrapping paper completely to pieces. For a second you think he doesn't hear you. In fact, he doesn't even bat an eye at the remark you just made beneath your breath.
"S'a birthday gift... fo' her birthday," and he says it through gritted teeth and a pompous smile, "but g'on and make it about you, if you'd like."
"Think you've got that bit covered," you nod slowly in rhetoric in attempt to depict this conversation as passive, "you know, trying to outdo me with a splashy gift and all."
Unbeknownst to you, angel baby's eyes are training your lips with every word that falls from them. Stood in a box in front of her is the set outdoor doll house she'd been pining for as of late. And she doesn't seem to care. She pays no attention to it at all, even when the chorus of ooing and ahhing erupts from her intimate circle of friends and their parents. The facade of casual conversation between you and Harry has completely vacated, it's obvious in how the bickering has become more hushed and the vein on Harry's forehead begun peeking out.
You're fighting on her birthday and she's noticed. The topic that's gotten you both so hot is a mystery to her, but that doesn't keep her from trying to conjure up an answer. Even right now she's thinking about it, as Anne places a beautifully decorated sheet cake down in front of her at the patio table. The number 5 stands firmly in the middle, romantically adorned by sporadically placed individual flames dancing all around it as everyone sings happy birthday off key.
"Ok lovie," Harry cheers, "g'head 'n make a big wish!"
Both of her hands press flatly on the table, propping her up a good amount as she teeters on her chair so that she's appropriately hovering over the cake. Leaning in to grab a photo, she smiles sweetly before closing her eyes. If she's gonna make a birthday wish, she wants it to be good. She wants it to actually come true.
"I wish," and she pauses to adjust the flower crown that's lopsided on her head, "that mommy and daddy didn't hate each other."
When the words spill from her lips before she leans in to blow out her candles, your complexion goes ghost-white. And Harry thinks he might be sick.
196 notes · View notes