#when i tell ppl about it

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!" #to being like ''if this is going to give u a panic attack ur fuckken stupid'' #like..... gets me #yeah man. i know im going to be triggered by it . in the old fashioned term. it is GOING to give me a panic attack. it's pretty much certai #and i shouldn't have to tell u about what i have survived for you to be okay with that. #you can just trust that i ALSO don't want me to react to it. i'm not gonna be having a FUN time. #dismissing that bc you think it's stupid.... like is the whole problem. #these sounds are workshopped by entire teams of people to get you to pay attention and move quickly. #they arent meant to be fun and exciting. #OBVIOUSLY it's gonna set ppl off. #but yeah there's something so fuckken demeaning about ppl being like. well that trigger isn't valid bc u haven't undergone X #dude i have ptsd bc i was abused as a child. like plain and simple. the fact im 30 and afraid of the dark tells you how bad it was. #i shouldn't have to ask u for permission to be mentally ill. #the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT. #like how is it any different from when ppl are like ''oh public speaking isn't that scary'' like FOR YOU #for YOU this isn't scary. now if i could fucking eat my own amygdala...

[knifearo]

this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...

#and also. not the direct focus. but love doesn't make things good. you can be in love and do terrible terrible things. #people do bad things in the name of love and in despite of love all the time. #but!! imagine a world where people could exist as people and not be demonized. #sex positivity means being cool about All sex. reexamine your internal systems of moral judgement. #this goes for sex workers. for aroallo people. especially aroallo men. for aro people in general who might enjoy sex. #and frankly i think it can easily bleed into discussions about mental health disorders around 'not feeling' certain things #especially demonizing ppl who don't feel as much empathy. i think there's definitely a correlation between that and the emphasis on love. #our support needs to go out to Everybody and i think these things are all structured together in one way or another!! #it might not be immediately obvious but when i tell you it all leads back to amatonormativity..... little bit wild.... large bit wild.... #anyway. horror movie psychopath 'oh he can't feel emotions or love' damn alright. well. let's take a closer look at that. #silly that there's an association between lack of love and Murdering. feel like that might affect some stuff. #love is just an emotion/a feeling it doesn't mean anything about you one way or another #same with empathy. you can feel it all you want but it doesn't inherently change the actions you choose to take #anyway. thesis statement. there is a socially constructed link between love and morality. unlearn that. #kiss kiss (<— lovelessly) #aromantic #aromanticism #arospec #talking #aroace #aspec #sex positivity

[0xeyedaisy]

Random stuff

#incredibox #sepbox #monart #spiders #Okay time to dump my thoughts in the tags #The first doodle was drawn cuz it had rained recently #I thought Edgar would enjoy the rain (assuming it doesn't rain in the depths) #The Watcher doodle was me thinking about how the Watcher watches over everyone #He sends out his little spider minions to spy on ppl! #He sees everything through their eyes #The Edgar comic is what I imagine he did when he left the depths #While the docs say that they only found his jewerly and crown at the Gateway #I like to think that Edgar saw this new place and immediately stripped naked. Cuz it's funnier that way #He decided to leave his past life as the prince at the gate with his royal clothes and jewerly #or something like that #The last doodle is how I imagine Tam's illness spread across his face #The documents don't mention how exactly he got the illness #I thought maybe it started from an innocuous scratch #He lost his eye cuz it straigh up rotted away #Annnnd that's about it #I'm always thinking about this mod as you can tell. So sad I can't draw every idea I have orz #Anyway I'll contunie having thoughts and patiently waiting for v8

[yaoiboypussy]

Guys whatever you do never make a shitpost about trans discourse in reference to an actual interaction you had and making it vague enough where people who don’t know you can’t tell it’s about an actual interaction you had with someone. It will get popular and people who spend to much time online can and will make up weird interpretations about what you said and you as a person.

#.txt #my T-slur post is a joooke referencing an actual interaction I had with someone who told me to do that #it was for my friends and now people are making up shit and assuming things about me #I was venting i a sever after i was harassed at work and i quoted shit someone said to me #someone said ‘erm you cant reclaim the T-slur’ and I went ‘Im just quoting something said to me’ they told me I should tell the ppl calling #me the T-slur that I’m not a trans women. keep in mind I was having a breakdown about being harassed at work when this happened

[sergle]

what I was talking abt earlier. we have fully looped back around and away from feminism, societally, whereas before it was very Feminism 101 to acknowledge that many parts of existing as a woman in a misogynistic society are painful and upsetting. not that being a woman is Inherently Negative in a bubble. but that living on this earth, in the conditions we're living in, is hostile to women. and that gender is a performance. that many of the Staples Of Femininity as accepted by society are things that you have to create and perform and mold artificially and aren't inherent, that COMPLAINING about day to day difficulties of existing as a woman is something that you're allowed to do. acknowledging these basic, again, feminism 101 things, that something tied to womanhood is more time consuming or more expensive or more dangerous Because Of The Problems. does not CREATE the problems. that when women complain about having to perform femininity, they are not, in fact, oppressing themselves. the call does not come from inside the fucking house. saying that you HAVE suffered does not fucking equate that you believe you SHOULD have suffered.

like I could talk about this for hours. how braindead and one-dimensional the Takes are getting. "being a woman is looking in the mirror and going fuck yeah i'm a woman" damn. I guess any negative experiences you have by living in a misogynistic world... are your fault if you are anything but positive? "you don't actually want liberation" we've fully gone back to telling feminists "you WANT to be oppressed" when anything negative about our society is pointed out. it's not real until I say it out loud, I guess, and then I'm actually the one who caused it. if anybody expresses any unhappiness with how they're treated or the status quo or the language and culture surrounding womanhood and femininity. they've created it, right that second. they invented it just now. it wasn't a problem before somebody complained, right? also trans women aren't braindead zombies who just follow the flow of whatever cis women around them say. I am pretty fucking sure they are very much aware of pain, and are MORE than aware of the swirling torrent of misogyny and standards of femininity than anybody else. actually. and I am pretty sure someone complaining on tumblr that being a woman means always putting on a performance is going to make someone change their mind about transitioning. also "performing femininity" as a necessity to being treated well as a woman is not fucking NEWS to your Local Trans Woman. I AM PRETTY SURE SHE GETS THE CONCEPT. using trans women as a scapegoat for this braindead perspective on gender politics is spineless, meritless, and pathetic.

#how I feel about my gender is not the same as how I feel about the living conditions of my gender #when I saw that post I screenshotted here I literally sat w my mouth open for a minute #sent it to my friends and was like am I fucking crazy. is this what we're doing now #Forced Positivity and that there is no war in ba sing se and actually #you're ruining children's lives if you complain about misogyny on twitter #I don't HAVE to tell little girls about the downsides because they are already being mistreated #before they have even heard the word 'misogyny' let alone know what it means #you do not have to be fucking happy all the time about the cards you're dealt. #you don't live in a bubble where it's just you and your mirror and your pretty dress and nothing bad has ever happened to you #unfortunately bitch. we will have negative experiences that are in fact. part of the package of being a woman #and IGNORING them doesn't make them not exist. actually they will continue to remain status quo unless acknowledged #sergle.txt #I see so much rhetoric that is JUST old-fashioned gender ideals being presented with liberal language on tiktok #that is just telling women that womanhood is just being a girllll and loving pretty things and being kind and gentleeeee and nurturing #and not working and just like being wholesome and being happy and being a light in ppl's lives and just LOVING LOVING LOVING being a woman #so if for even one second. you don't love it. you are actually failing at being a woman #if you complain about the standards for shaving or putting on makeup. which used to be Baby's First Feminism online #that's actually just you creating problems. you're not supposed to acknowledge it. you're supposed to shut up and smile into the mirror.

[bonetrousledbones]

so when are we gonna start appreciating undertale AUs for fueling a metric fuck ton of the creativity and longevity of the fandom because if i see one more person calling them the cringiest part of the last 8 years i might lose it

#trousled rants #been feeling a bit salty about this for a while but im letting it out now because i Can #but its insane seein ppl say “oh the fandom's mellowed out a lot its way more peaceful now” and agreeing bc it IS #and then “yeah now that AUs aren't so popular anymore its way more bearable” and its like :) okay #and if i told you that fan game you've been talking about for the past month is an au. what then #sighsghs its just like man i GET that a lot of aus are just edgy for the sake of it but shit dude!!! people were just having fun!!!!! #a lot of them were an avenue for ppl learning how to make their own stories!! even if they're not perfect or in character #making a shit ton of papyrus aus is one of the main things that helped me realize how much i love character design #and i KNOWWWW i'm not the only one and youre trying to tell me that's not awesome as hell!!!!! #yeah i probably i have nostalgia glasses but maybe i do kinda miss when everybody was a bit more insane actually . maybe i do #undertale

[symbiotic-slime]

it’s so funny going into monsterfucker spaces and seeing people argue about whether Venom is a tame monster crush or not and I think I figured out why ppl argue about it. I think there’s two separate levels to liking Venom and people just don’t specify which one they’re talking about

the first is what most people think of: you want Venom when they’re in a separate host and in their more humanoid form. they look like just a really tall guy, and you’ve got some monster traits involved but not quite as many as level two. this is the tame level.

the second level is when you want to be their host. you’re pulling an eddie brock— you’re fucking the slime that lives inside of you and cannot take on a humanoid form outside of yourself. it’s just a mass of black goop that lives in your organs and speaks to you in your head. this is why some people would consider Venom a more extreme monster crush

#or it could just be that the people who call them extreme are cowards #but yeah #I’ve been thinking about this a lot with the ‘craziest hear me out’ trend on tiktok #because every time it happens people debate whether venom truly counts as a ‘hear me out’ character #which I think to any sane person would be deranged because either way ur still fucking the slime monster #but I love spending stupid amounts of time thinking about the silliest internet beef I can find #and as someone who falls in the second level!! I get annoyed when ppl call venom an entry level monster crush lmao #sam’s ramblings #venom #sam talks about venom #monsterfucker #monster lover #please tell me this makes sense to other people

[protosstar]

having lyrics addressing how mental health is just completely dismissed coupled with all that religious imagery in the staging hits incredibly hard when the cultural mindset in serbia is one of "mental illness isnt real you just need to go to church"

#eurovision #in corpore sano #when i told one of my closest friends about my autism diagnosis her response was #'autism doesnt exist in serbia because we tell ppl to go to church and god helps fix their psyche' #and that 'in the west its different because they dont trust god' #if you have a problem that isnt physical it just means u arent believing in god hard enough #and with how few mental health resources are even available faith kinda does become the only solution #like i shit on england a lot but as an autistic person with adhd and anxiety im SO GLAD i only lived in belgrade for a few years #quasigh

[badnew2005]

SUNNY IS A LOVE STORY @badnew2005

Lighthousekeeping, Jeanette Winterson | @boymiffy | @maccymacdonald | Rob McRlhenney, Philadelphia style | Is the Cast of Always Sunny Irredeemable? ceicocat | True Blue, boygenius | @dennisboobs | @starpeace | @chilledmac | @bitseventimes | Rat A Tat, Fall Out Boy | Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia (2005-)

#okaaayyyyyyyy #just gonna post not gonna mill about like oooh it’s not good it’s not proper I DONT CARE . i know know knowwwwwwwa there’s loads iv missed #but . first posts i could find when looking sunny is a love story #tumblrs tagging system isn’t good And Neither Is Mine #iasip #sunny is a love story #so yeah idk if you’ve ever heard me say this but um. sunny is a love story #the gang #macden #web weaving #again i feel so so so awkward tagging ppl but like !!!! i used ur posts !!!!! it’s nothing it’s chill it’s casual it’s WHATEVER #i put The Origin of sunny is a love story post in like she’s worded soooo badly the grammar is all over the place it was a I NEED TO #SCREAM AND TELL EVERYONE IVE JUST DISCOVERED THAT SUNNY IS A LIVE STORY #i only took like an hour on this it’s a cute little practice of posting :) #iv just edited and added on the lov ewas there it was in th eoriginal draft idk how it got lost

[bonefall]

it is healing to come onto this blog and see basic respect for diasbility after being in other corners of the fandom and reading the words “snowkit could never be a warrior because he wouldnt know what anything is. he wouldnt even know what a clan is because nobody could explain it to him” said in full seriousness

Im..... That statement is so ableist I cannot even imagine the worldview you'd need to have in order to come up with that.

They really think the only way anyone learns anything is through verbal-speaking-words-noises? No one has ever observed something before? Not even once?

This is beyond touching grass, this person just fell out of the fucking Jurassic Period when all they had was ferns and stegosaurs.

I just...

OH YES. I remember my first day of Society Lessons as a hearing person, where the everything was explained to me. Via Audiobook. FIRST they spoke and said, "you are standing on the ground." It was a life changing revelation, and the world began to spin.

But it did not stop.

THEN they said, "there are fingers on your hands." The sensation of flesh and bone crackling into existence is indescribable, but I did not yet know pain, until they told me, "that hurts." I began screaming immediately.

And yet... it continued.

They explained so much. Chairs. Tables. Walls. The sky. Frogs. Ionizing radiation. Breathing. I was told all of it, in one sitting, and only then did I understand. Only when my ears were bursting with normal hearing knowledges, did they begin... my final test.

A strange wall-chair-finger emerged from the sky-of-the-wall, stood on the ground several times, until it was in front of me. A second one came behind it, this one slimmer. The audiobook gave these things names;

Human. Father. Mother. Door. Walking. It was completely impossible to know what these things were until that very moment.

I watch a human dip a hook into water and produce a fish, and I recall my Society Lessons where they called that "fishing." I am decked in the face by a nefarious hooligan, and I have only the audiobook to thank when I know I have been "punched" by a "bad guy." It was only the magic of verbal-speaking-words-noise that made me understand that there are "other people" and that they "do stuff."

Sometimes, even, in "groups."

Before the Society Lessons Audiobook, I knew nothing. I was pure, innocent, uncorrupted by concepts such as "parents" and "door." I am grateful every day that there is no such concept as "being shown things" or "simple logical reasoning" or "looking."

Blessed be those amongst us who escape the horrors of the Society Lessons Audiobook. I pray that you never learn what anything is. Be free! Free as a bird, which also knows nothing and famously cannot learn. 🤗

DEAF/HOH FOLLOWERS I'm losing my mind do you want me to bump a 'Hearing Disabilities Herb Guide' to the top of my priorities? Something you can use to bludgeon whackadoodles like that. This is ridiculous

Obviously not a MEDICINE guide but like; common causes of hearing disability in clan cats. Accommodations for hearing loss vs congenital deafness. Actual difficulties of not having that sense Clan-by-Clan. Debunking of misconceptions like... not being able to learn APPARENTLY.

#bone babble #Fennelposting #Obviously the answer is 'theyre incapable of THINKING' but like... they do know snow has a line right #In the book. He figured out. A word. Through observation. #He says 's'all right' because he knows it calms ppl down #He did not need to hear the magic words 'You can make noises at others to influence them' #Like a fucking tutorial tip #Im going to start keeping a JOURNAL of ''times people have been weird about snowkit specifically'' #Ableism #cw ableism #I could also link to the pawspeak thing so it's all in one place #I wrote this last night and put it in the queue and I laid awake thinking of this... #What do they think happens when someone goes to another country where things aren't written/spoken in a language they know? #Do they think they wouldn't be able to figure out anything? Do they think the tourist would just perish #Would they collapse in the streets of Berlin sobbing? #Happened to me. Went to England and they called it a Car Boot Sale instead of a Flea Market and I died to death #AND if I did make that guide please tell me if there's any other weird misconceptions you need to see in it #I know that ONE of them is going to have to be that. like. deaf people make noise. #theyre actually quite loud because they don't know they're making noise #and people with hearing loss do not suddenly forget how to speak. #and people born deaf dont talk like cavemen #cw body horror #tw body horror #EDIT: OOPS sorry I have such an astonishingly tolerance for body horror I did not realize that counted as body horror

[inkskinned]

crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

#spilled ink #writeblr #personal #please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it #i really try not to write so specifically about it #bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child #i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years #i might delete this. feels big. #the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum #and if u say ur autistic #inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms #please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do #and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort. #but it still feels like... #when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing. #they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly? #and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find #the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go) #and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW." #''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.'' #and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic #someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.

[bogkeep]

idk why there's so much discussion around the ~*morality of traumadumping*~ when it's a VERY solvable social conundrum. all you need to do is ask something like "hey is it ok if i talk about this thing? it's kind of heavy" and respect the answer

#it's both very normal and good to talk to people about stuff that's weighing on you #AND it can be very uncomfortable to have someone unload a lot of really heavy things at you at once without warning #this is not a zero sum game? #????????????? #i guess sometimes the problem is that ppl have a different measure for what counts as 'traumadumping' #i personally associate it w the time i was a volunteer at a summer camp and one of the teens asked me if they could get my advice #and when i was like yeah sure they proceeded to tell me their entire life story which involved several deaths and horrible things #which left me in a very awkward position of Um What Did You Want My Advice For Specifically #but like i was fine!! i was the Responsible Adult who had signed up for this #and they were a teen who needed someone to listen to them!!

[fujii-draws]

OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.

#okay starting from the beginning of where ppl usually dislike him. apple woods chapter. #he doesn’t give hero/partner the CHANCE to explain themselves despite them being relatively good recruits up until that point. #and that legit might be my only gripe with that chapter bc!!! stories need conflict! I LIKE the conflict in apple woods!!! #hero and partner being punished so something they didn’t do! #the misunderstanding! how team skull (Skuntank) actually outplays the main duo with a clever yet rotten trick. I LOVE that it segways into- #one of the more sweeter scenes of guild members looking out for eachother. I LIKE APPLE WOODS CONFLICT. #but chatot just. not giving them a chance. is so dumb. #I’d personally fix this by having a lil montage of hero/partner fucking up on jobs. A LOT. and chatot giving them a pass every time. #and let the perfect apple incident BE the one where he puts his foot down and doesn’t listen to them. bc he’d given them loads of chances. #and doesn’t want to hear any excuse. #but yeah. I legit dont mind him during that chapter except for that really stupid and frustrating moment. #NOW. CHAPTER 17. #UGGGGHHH WHERE DO I BEGIN #Him not believing hero and Partner about Grovyle and the future being in ruin? FINE. ACTUALLY GOOD. BC CHATOT WOULD BE SKEPTIC. #IT FITS HIS CHARACTER!! #BUT WHAT DOES SUCK. IS HIM GOING ‘Dusknoir isn’t the bad guy. he didn’t do anything wrong’ #WHEN HE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HERO AND PARTNER RIGHT I N F R O N T OF HIM. #(​NO LITERALLY. HIS CHARACTER IS IN THE FRONT ROW WHEN IT HAPPENED.) #and him. having the GALL to tell hero and partner they must’ve been ‘seeing things’ and downplaying the HELL they went through. #despite them being missing for hours/days. his own guild recruits. and his angry sprite showing up. #like. I think that’s when I genuinely despised him. #that and him going ‘OH I BELIEVED YOU THE WHOLE TIME HEEHOO :)’ shit was so fucking annoying. #just playing it off as a joke the second the guild started to believe hero and partner. #IMAGINE IF HE W A S ACTUALLY TESTING THE GUILD’S TRUST. SHOWCASING HIM AS THE MORE RESPONSIBLE AND RESPECTFUL RIGHT HAND OF THE GUILD. #and yes. Brine cave he saves hero and partner. but at that point I just didn’t care anymore. #he fucked those two over so much. that I didn’t care what ‘valiant’ sacrifice he had. #and he grills Team Skull for what they did OFF SCREEN. they couldn’t even give us THAT. #<<< THAT or him outright saying sorry would’ve been nice. IKIK his ‘actions’ or whatever but. #eughh again this is all imo. I’m not trying to make people hate him or change their mind. #I’ll get into positives in the second post cause I’m running out of tags

[schmweed]

#David Tennant #Alec Hardy #Ellie Miller #Broadchurch #my gifs #Yes they're talking about something extremely serious. #But can you see soft way his eyes tenderly trace her eyes and just rest on her face like it's the best thing he could look at? #He spends so long just looking at her -- and she is so mindful of his comfort level and RARELY looks back when he's looking at her. #If he's looking at her she's always looking ahead or down or away. #Except if she needs to hold his gaze to get a message across. Like go make some tea. Or if they're both worried. #This reminds me -- she is so naturally instinctively understanding of him #We rarely hear her addressing him by name after the rant that falls out of him when he has dinner at her place in S1. #She gets that simply looking at someone while you're talking to them is enough. And you don't need to tack on their name on top of that. #Which astounded me actually! I wondered if Chris Chibnall had spent some time around an autistic person! #Because I feel EXACTLY like Alec does abt names! I hate names. I hate using them. It's so unnecessary. #I'm not as outspoken as him though so I use them when I can't get out of it. But I hate it and I hate ppl using my name. #That scene was ASTOUNDING I'm telling you -- it took my breath away to find my very specific struggle onscreen! #Anyway. Yeah. She doesn't bug him or insist even though to her it's second nature. #I bet you she's very good at coming up with pet names -- another thing my autistic brain shrieks at and sth I suspect Alec finds impossible #Oh Ellie -- beautiful beautiful adorable strong wronged Ellie! #Wronged by everyone except him <3 #Well and a few others -- Mark was kind to her despite his pain. Brian never treated her badly that we know of. #I will always love them for that. #I wish Jack had survived -- I think he would've been kind too. Maybe she would've hidden in his store when it got too much.

[sergle]

FOREWARNING FOR GROSS-OUT SKIN CLOSEUP SHIT DON'T YELL AT ME FOR SHOWING YOU has anyone else gotten this really weird phenomenon on youtube. I swear every algorithm on every website is actively and purposely worse now. Where you'll be scrolling through vids after searching for something (I was looking at crochet stuff) and SANDWICHED IN THE MIDDLE OF ACTUAL SEARCH RESULTS... YOU KNOW. LIKE THINGS RELEVANT TO THE KEYWORDS I TYPED

are a couple of completely out of left field SHOCK VALUE VIDS. like to intentionally be alarming. drama vids and things you're enticed to click on bc they're upsetting, and deep deep closeups on zits. what the fuck is going on. Sandwiched between videos about GRANNY SQUARES. crack? is it crack we're smoking????

#are you telling me I can search for crochet patterns and be fed videos of pimple popping and news about anorexic influencers? #THESE ARE NOT ADS!!!! they're just IN THERE. I have ublock I've got all that stuff. these are just completely irrelevant videos #in the search results after I typed like. granny square patterns. or something really basic like that #NASTY shit #and I know it's not the algorithm clocking me bc I can tell when they do that. but I hate hate hate pimple popping videos #so that's not gonna be it. #when mr. algorithm gets me I can smell it. because guess what. nail polish. it's always nail polish. #and I don't watch upsetting shit abt the starvation girl or anything either. and I don't follow drama clickbait channels #WHAT IS THIS. WHERE AM I. #why did they make me look at this!!!! #sergle.txt #you're not allowed to yell at me btw I gave you a warning. which was more than I got. we're in this together now. #i'm not sure what to tag this as bc if i tag it as body horror then ppl will bark at me bc zits are natural. is it natural to get #a camera this close to big irritated holes and boils on your face. lesions. cysts. is that natural. are we friends #do i need to be close enough to smell you. put my eyes directly into the holes in your face

[bitchthefuck1]

It's always so funny to me when people call Kaz a serial killer or a murderer bc like. boy do I have news for you about the other crows.

#like idk how to tell you this bestie but every single one of them has a kill count. yes even wylan. #prime example of getting so caught up in the aesthetics or character types that you miss the actual reality of what happens in #a story #also i'm not sure serial killer is even an accurate description #similar to when people started referring to inej as an assassin. like bestie that is straight up not what she does. and if it was she's #doing a terrible job. the books tell you a million times that she's a spy #to be clear this isn't an 'uwu kaz did nothing wrong' post esp bc most of the time when ppl call him this they're not actually criticizing #his actions. it's just a pattern i noticed. if anything its a 'stop sanitizing the rest of the crows' post. #but it is interesting to me that kaz is the only character that people will really joke about having killed people #something something you've bought into the dirtyhands legend #i feel like i've made some version of this post in the past but i don't remember so you're hearing it again #six of crows #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #matthias helvar #nina zenik