Tumgik
#when i didn't start crying or screaming
anormalkidingotham · 2 months
Text
i think scarecrow messed up his most recent batch of fear gas because i just got hit in the face and i'm not even remotely scared, just really tired
9 notes · View notes
Text
just remembered that kiriona finally got to see camilla and palamedes after like two years and then they immediately died in front of her and she never got to say goodbye. i'm so unwell rn
460 notes · View notes
gxlden-angels · 1 year
Text
One of these days I will write about the nuances of The Black Church and how it acted both as a force for good; providing food, shelter, and community to those in need from slavery onward, and as a force for destruction, actively treating drug addicts and LGBT people as diseases and cutting them off from that sanctuary. I should do it at my most powerful (Now during BHM) but alas.....
#I recently attended a conference#and one of the presentations I went to was about Ballroom Culture and History#the presenter compared it to being in a black church#and of course not all churches are the same even with groups#but when I say 'The Black Church' I usually mean the southern baptist/methodist combination that emphasizes freedom. emotionalism and praise#There's a big focus on being freed from slavery both literally and metaphorically (from sin)#Youve probably seen those videos of praise breaks with ppl screaming crying frowing up and falling on the floor#That type of church#It seems silly as an outsider but it's all about connection#In Ballrooms they danced. they performed. they loved#In church they danced. they performed. they loved.#After the church comes together and feeds everyone#If someone is sick the whole church nurses them and prays#Ballroom was a place for queer folk to gather. Black people gathered at church. It wasn't entirely safe but it was something#But then things happened#Black churches kick out addicts and sex workers and queer folk#And during the AIDS epidemic#and war on drugs started#Cis gay men turned on the trans women that built those Ballrooms#They decided they didn't want their spaces pulled down#They decided this was the only way to rise. By stepping on others#And as the communities grew they changed#Of course these community churches and Houses still exist#People are still there supporting each other#But Madonna 'invented' vogue and Ru Paul partakes in fracking#But Creflo Dollar owns a private jet#This was probably a rambling mess but I hope you get it#I also lost my ipad on the other side of the country so I'm a bit too upset to organize my thoughts better rn#ex christian#religious trauma
26 notes · View notes
bitchfitch · 1 year
Text
For all the teething I've been doing on Pavo and Esti i haven't been able to like, actually write any thing for them recently mostly because I've been Busy.
But also because I'm snapping between like 3 ideas for them at terminal velocity and haven't been able to actually get anything written for them and it's like having pumas bouncing around my skull at mach fuck as though theyre house cats at 2 am when you're trying to sleep,
#idea one is the day after things start changing and they haven't discussed it fully yet.#Pavo is mulling over some things and Esti is too nervous to ask about it. but they're alone out hunting#its such a nice day. and Esti thinks hes going to be saying goodbye soon. and hes making himself sick with anxiety over it#and they're alone together like old times but its Not like old times because Esti remembers how sweetly Pavo had kissed him that#morning after and how good it had felt to spend the whole morning in bed cureld up against him.#and Esti doesnt think he could stomach the idea of leaving without getting another kiss or at least finding out if Pavo regretted it or not#and the story is them being sweet on each other and avoiding the big heavy topic until Esti can verbally ask about it. because like Pavo#knows him well enough to know whats eating him up. but he wants to hear Esti say the words#and then the second idea is Esti waking up from a nightmare after hes been brought home from that hell. he screams for Pavo and#like of course pavo is on his feet and at the door that separates their rooms in an instant. but its locked and Esti is too#scared to navigate to it because hes already wound up and hes still not used to life as a blind man. so the idea of getting out of bed#and crossing an open room with nothing to help him orient himself is Terrifying.#probably more than it should be but the nightmares are still fresh in his head and hes having to make himself focus and ignore them#and just reasure himself that it Actually is Pavo and not one of those monster that had used his voice. and its hard hes crying and Pavo#has to take down part of the fucking door frame to get the sliding door off its tracks without just busting it down since Esti didn't#need that particular audio experience right now and he liked that doors painting and Pavo had already sent for the craftsperson who#made his eyes to commission them to make a set for esti. and he doesn't want to destroy something pretty esti likes when itll only be a few#until esti can enjoy it again. and he gets into the room and esti scooches over in bed to welcome him into it because despite Everything#esti still will always feel safer pinned between a wall and Pavo than anywhere else. and he just needs to feel safe.#and the third thing is because of something deardest said a yesterday i think about Pavo in his old age. and im just Chewing on the image#of him and esti in his carriage. Esti's hair has gone white and hes nearing his end. and thentwo of them are together and happy#and able to reflect on the lives they've had together. and its mostly just the idea of Pavo being glad hes so much older than Esti. because#it means despite Esti only being half demon and having a much shorter life because of it. Pavo isnt going to outlive him by very long.#and All of this. Everything was because of how scared Pavo was to be alone. and hes not going to have to be in his last days.#so Yeah. thats been whats on my mind when im not devoting it to like lame shit like work#wow im bad at reading#their url is derederest#not deardest
8 notes · View notes
tardis--dreams · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media
I was crying out of gratitude because i thought this gave me one (1) additional day so i could get some sleep today and finish it by tonight before i realized there was no 31st September- he gave me an Entire additional Month???!!?
4 notes · View notes
Text
I had a nightmare. Didn't remember having it when I woke up. But one or two hours later, while doing something random, the most depressing part of it suddenly flashed in my head. And everything about it came flooding in my mind with tears. i still haven't recovered.
9 notes · View notes
radio-heads · 2 years
Text
dylan's death in the scrapyard was absolutely heartbreaking to me
but what i didn't expect was, if you let him stay bit, how much more it would hurt seeing him turn into a werewolf 😭
22 notes · View notes
Note
quil quil quil!!!! you can't just leave me like this!!! not again!! (for what the 42nd time now?)
I will be thinking abt the wings au none stop until the final chapter is uploaded. it will infect my brain like a wildfire that spreads and spreads until all that is there is Wings Au.
oh wait realizing that was probably too soon lmao.
either way i cannot WAIT for the next chapter.
I think it's the 43rd, but either way I absolutely left you like that! So much happening! So much drama! Fire! Monster! Knife!
I am also thinking about the wings au none stop because wdym it's almost over. Wdym the stories almost done telling itself. Or at least the main story. I've considered a shorter Stina side thing talking about what's up with her, but that's a very very undeveloped idea. But before I even think about that I still got a little more story left to share :)
and even if it is too soon I'm laughing at it so! also that was not planned from the beginning. i went into this chapter like hmm what's the resolution. what's gonna happen. and then Fintan decided he was doing that and I went excuse me??? I literally paused for like five minutes after the idea first popped into my head because I was so shocked. but then I wrote it and now it's wings au canon, so!
I hope you enjoy the next chapter! we've got a mix of lore, some drama, and some things I can't say without spoiling but that I'm really curious to see your reaction to. Everything's been building up for so long and actually writing it was a surreal experience, so I'm very excited for tomorrow!
7 notes · View notes
jagged203 · 11 months
Text
Having a rough fucking morning
2 notes · View notes
bat-the-misfit · 1 year
Text
man they cancelled my dentist appointment AGAIN how i wish i had money to not depend on these free health care pieces of shit
3 notes · View notes
altruistic-meme · 1 year
Text
today on “incredibly specific country songs that absolutely slap and Abram will fight people over”:
- i drive a tractor, die mad about it (International Harvester by Craig Morgan) - my wife left me for real this time :[ (Gone by Montgomery Gentry) - ngl life sucks but don’t give up (If You’re Going Through Hell by Rodney Atkins) - guy vandalizes a watertower to impress a girl; town’s only problem was his color choice (John Deere Green by Joe Diffie) - what if i just Left (Last Dollar (Fly Away) by Tim McGraw) - a dad learns how to be a stay-at-home mom (Mr. Mom by Lonestar) - i love my wife and i would give her the fucking world (Tall, Tall Trees by Alan Jackson)
SPECIAL CATEGORY “songs that CAN and WILL make Abram cry every time they hear it”: - Guess I’ll Die (Live Like You Were Dying by Tim McGraw) - conversations you can have by not answering the phone (Austin by Blake Shelton) - someone very important to me died :(( [dad?? girlfriend?? it’s undecided] (I Drive Your Truck by Lee Brice) - hi i love you i hope life is good to you (My Wish by Rascal Flatts)
4 notes · View notes
adlibitur · 1 year
Text
--
2 notes · View notes
chqnified · 2 years
Text
The feeling of: yeah! I might be getting a proper job, one of those fancy 'life long' careers people talk about!!!
And also the feeling of: but. What do you mean.
#the realisation is hitting. and too fast#I'm going to start FINALLY learning to drive. I'm doing stuff by myself. applying for a job by myself. a fancy full time job at that.#i think realisation hit because i had to go get a bloodtest done by myself. mum was at work and so couldn't hold my hand.#dad was unwilling to go in with me#you know. i surprised myself. i managed to not only converse with the nurse!!! but also not fight her when i saw the needle!!!#and I didn't cry or scream#you may be laughing. but last time. around 5 months ago. i did almost cry and nearly passed out#big steps.#but again. it dawned on me as i was with friends doing regular adult shit. those boring things. or random things that scream middle age#shopping for bedding and having breakfast at the harvester screams mid life crisis. i should not be going through this at my age. alas.#and we drove there whilst listening to Britney spears. again mid life crisis hello???#it has been an accumulation of things where I've realised. holy shit. i was not doing this or thinking about this go back 6 months.#now look at me.#it feels weird moving on. there are so many things i feel like I've been forced to leave behind. a lost childhood perhaps.#i wish I'd had the opportunity to be less scared and anxious as a child.#i think that's a major part of the reason why I'm struggling to move on or let go of some things.#I don't feel like the same person. probably lot's of reasons for that. but somehow that is what makes it worse#thoughts ig#on a worrying note. y'all better watch out for when i get a car. nobody will be safe.
5 notes · View notes
20w14a · 2 years
Text
I’ve been watching this one really good yet depressing anime film and I kid you not I saw this one side character and went: wow this guy is worm man coded, he is, oh, so pathetic
And not even 30 minutes later they show him again later with this other character and my entire face just goes
Tumblr media
4 notes · View notes
foldingfittedsheets · 16 days
Text
I’ve been fired exactly once in my life. In my early twenties I was working at a pizza place. The pizzas were artisanal, thin crust and personal. They’re a huge chain now but when I first started the company was in its infancy. It was the wild west of management, and the core investors would frequently stop by to check on things. One of these people was this round little man with rage issues. A knock off Danny Devito with no charisma at all.
His favorite thing to do was to come in on a Friday or Saturday night. We'd be at our stations: taking orders, making pizza, manning the oven, finishing orders off, running the cash register. He'd shove his way onto the line and start rearranging people. "You, get off orders and work the cash register, you come over and make the pizzas!" With a line of customers snaking out the door he'd throw off all our grooves and rattle us.
Then, inevitably, a mistake would happen.
When it did he'd call the person over and say, "Hey c'mere. You're fired." Just like that. No inflection, just a flat "You're fired." It was absolutely a power kink, and because of his involvement the average turn over was three months. You were a veteran at five months.
One night there was only three of us manning the front. I took an order than went to the cash register to ring them out before I made the pizza. This horrible man watched that then called me into the back. I didn't know if I was about to be fired. But I wasn't. In fact, he had one other move besides firing people. He yelled.
In the back he absolutely lost his mind screaming at me for being on the cash register. I'm talking veins popping, spit flying, red with rage, this man just started bellowing nonsensically about where I should be and how I was just such a failure. It was truly like his brain had shut off, nothing he was saying even made sense. I stood there in the face of this tirade for a minute and then set a record for being the first person to ever cut him short by bursting into tears.
He instantly stopped yelling and it was like Jekyll and Hyde. He was remorseful and consoling, deeply embarrassed by my display of emotion. All my male coworkers just took the abuse but faced with my weeping he about faced and instantly backed off. I went outside to cry and when I came back in he pretended it had never happened.
That was the state of things. The investors knew they desperately needed to keep this man out of the stores, but they couldn't just give him the boot. They needed to move him aside and fill his position with someone. The store manager was this lovely woman who had hired me on the spot at my interview. The entire staff adored her. She was the best fit to get this roided out investor out of the stores for good.
Her replacement was this man called Anthony. He was instantly loathed by the entire staff. Condescending, critical, and lazy he started off his reign by letting go a core lead who "back talked." He spent a whole morning berating the opening crew because the closing crew (who had sold 100 more pizzas than we were even supposed to have on hand) had forgotten to windex the doors. He left the entire crew to close without him while he flirted with a girl who wasn't his pregnant girlfriend. He hired his roommate to replace the lead he fired and even that guy hated his guts.
Our antipathy toward him made him paranoid and resentful and one by one he started finding excuses to fire the whole staff, certain that if he could clean house he'd be able to do the job. My time came, and he sat me down with his boss, my former manager. She cried as he announced I wasn't personable enough and used too many pepperonis.
I looked at her, the woman who had trained me on how many pepperoni to use, but she said nothing. What could she say? He was the boss now and had determined I was going to be let go regardless. Too many in this case was seven. Seven pepperonis on a personal pizza. The correct number was five according to him, which is one pepperoni per slice, and one in the middle.
I sat there for a moment, taking it in. I smiled at my old manager, obviously miserable. I looked back at him and said, "You're a terrible manager, you're doing the worst imaginable job." I outlined some of the things he'd done so she could hear them, then I stood up and left. I made it to the back room before I started crying.
I found out later through a bus boy that he replaced the whole staff with college kids who had such limited availability that the store couldn't run, then quit three months later leaving the whole place in shambles. Most of the old staff returned, but I'd moved onto the sex shop already and was enjoying a job with significantly less risk of being fired on a whim.
However I do have to disclose on job applications if I've ever been fired. I always says yes and list the reason as, "Excessive use of pepperoni." It has never failed to get a laugh from my interviewer.
3K notes · View notes
chuluoyi · 6 months
Text
✎ forever
Tumblr media
- gojo satoru x reader
the three times he asked you to marry him
genre: slightly suggestive, fluff/comfort, silly and lovesick gojo, wedding proposals, mild angst, mentions of injury and protective gojo
note: i was inspired by some fics with this kind of trope and i can totally see gojo asking you to marry him while he's dead drunk—
a part of gojo's love entries
series masterlist | oneshot masterlist
Tumblr media
"Why don't we get married?"
The first time Satoru brought this up was right after you both had exhausted yourselves in an intense, passionate lovemaking session.
His bare skin was against yours, and the intimacy of it almost made you want to go along with his suggestion, until you grasped the profound meaning behind his words.
"Satoru," you breathed out, still breathless as you came down from your high. "Are you seriously asking me that now?"
A dopey smile was on his face. "Yeah, is there a problem with it?"
You blinked. The nerve of this clown-head—
"Not even a proper proposal? Or a ring?" you scowled. "Considering your usual flair, this is a rather lackluster attempt at a proposal."
Of course, you weren't a material girl, but considering his big ego and tendency to go overboard, you just had to call him out.
"Hmm? So if there's a grand proposal and I bought you a ring, then you'll say yes?"
There was practically a twinkle in those bright eyes of his now, and you were a bit caught off guard because well, so he is for real?
You’d be lying if you said that the thought of marrying him hadn’t crossed your mind. But to be frank, Gojo Satoru didn't strike you as someone who was interested in anything as cliché as marriage and everything that comes with it.
Which brought you back to this point—you had absolutely no idea what possessed him to bring up this question.
"Hah," you let out a sardonic laugh. "Not that easy. I'll think about it."
When he let out a “Ehhh?”, and started sulking, you were quite sure, and dismissed the question as one of his passing whims.
Tumblr media
The second time he posed the question, he was a babbling, slurring mess of alcohol and hiccups.
"Can't we—hic!—" His face was flushed, and he was pitifully wobbling on his feet. "—just get married—hic!—already?"
This time you scoffed, partly out of disdain, crossing your arms in front of you. Satoru seemed to pick up on your unfavorable reaction and attempted to convince you. "I'm being—"
"No," you sternly interrupted, supporting him as he struggled to stay on his feet. You shot an unapologetic look at the other patrons in the bar who were watching you both with disapproving frowns. "Satoru, we're going home."
"I'm—hic!—asking you to marry me!"
"I said no."
"Why?!"
You sighed. "You're dead drunk."
"What will—hic—make you say yes?"
You let out another sigh. It already took a great deal of patience to deal with his immaturity as his girlfriend, and you could only imagine how much more challenging it would be as his wife.
"I'm so heartbroken," he whined, crocodile tears pooling in his eyes as he peered at you like a kicked puppy. "I got rejected twice already... How could you reject me twice?"
You rolled your eyes at his theatrics.
Tumblr media
"Marry me."
The third time around, he was neither bringing it up on a whim or drunk, also he wasn't quite asking—his tone was almost pleading.
And you just woke up from your comatose state after a mission gone wrong, still in your bloodied uniform, eyes barely adjusting to the bright room.
Satoru let out a grunt, clasping your fingers in his warm, reassuring grip. It was evident how deeply distressed he was from the furrowed brow and the quiver in his lips as he looked down at you, as well as the gentle way he was stroking your hair.
At this moment, you wanted to cry. The fact that he was so genuinely concerned for you filled you with warmth and emotion.
. . .
He saw it happen right before him—the crimson blood flowing out of your wound like waterfall. He had screamed at you to breathe and not let go of his hand. The moment he felt your head loll back in his arms and you lost your grip on him, he could swear his own heart had stopped too.
He had never been more grateful that you—his best friend, love of his life, the only one he had left—awoke from that horrifying ordeal. Seeing you stained red by your own blood had undoubtedly distorted his point of view, but his desire to marry you, as what he had been suggesting as of late, clearly was not just a mere passing thought.
Because he is acutely aware of how cruel this world is. This damned world has always taken everything that's important to him, and before they can snatch you away too, he will claim you as his first.
"Marry me," he repeated, his voice now sounding more hoarse, not as confident as it had been the first time.
As you gazed into his beautiful eyes, it occurred to your hazy mind that you very nearly died. That you were that close to not seeing him ever again. You had been apprehensive with how he had phrased his proposals so far, and you didn't want your marriage to be a split-second decision forced by some sort of looming omen.
And yet, falling in love with Gojo Satoru had never been the easiest, but you did anyway. He still held onto your hand, patiently awaiting your response—
—but suddenly, like a sharp whiplash effect, what shocked you was that who you saw then wasn't your boyfriend.
But rather, the man with the mantle of the strongest sorcerer alive.
You could lose him just as much as he could lose you. Sooner or later, who knows? His title is both a blessing and a curse. Up until now, it has been a blessing, but who can say when it might suddenly turn into a curse that tears him away from you?
. . .
This time, you didn't snort or doubt his intention. Instead, you smiled, embracing the profound flutter in your chest as you were being proposed.
"Okay," you whispered, voice dry. "Yes… I'll marry you, Satoru."
7K notes · View notes