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absolute-flaming-trash · 18 days

Text

Pairing: Yandere!Alastor x Fem!Reader

SFW

Word Count: 1'882

Warnings: Yandere, Abuse, Abusive relationship, Choking, Degradation, Manhandling, Threats, Possessiveness, Alastor is a massive asshole and mean as shit. Dead Dove Do Not Eat

Hindsight was always 20/20.

A bit of an understatement, really. Looking back it was hard to believe just how much one decision could impact your entire afterlife, and you wanted to kick yourself.

Desperation was the excuse you gave yourself whenever you thought about why you made a deal with Alastor.

What he proposed wasn’t something you thought too much of at the time. In exchange for your soul, he offered you security - solidarity in a realm where most were keen on focusing on the weakest among them and tearing them to shreds. Not only would you be protected on a daily basis, but you had, essentially, a guarantee that you would survive extermination day whenever it inevitably rolled around.

Seemed almost too good to be true, but knowing the risks involved in refusing, you had accepted.

He never asked much of you in return, much to your surprise. Nothing that ever seemed too unreasonable, at least. If anything, the things he asked of you felt more like exchanges that would occur between friends - taking on small tasks he’d otherwise find too boring to entertain.

Sometimes you’d even go as far as to call them domestic.

Oh, but you knew better than to assume your relationship fell anywhere close to friendship. Amicable was a better word, not good nor bad, but certainly nothing to be overtly confident about - which made what you intended to ask so much worse.

The very thought of it made a shiver go through your body as you walked through the Hotel hallway. A voice in the back of your mind, your conscience perhaps, whispered that it wasn’t too late to turn back. To do a complete 180 and march right back the way you came.

You didn’t listen.

By the time you came to a stop, the hairs on your arms stood completely on end. The door in front of you looked exactly like the others that lined the hallway, deceptive in its mundane simplicity. It only made the feeling of foreboding that much worse as you held your breath and raised your hand to knock, knuckles barely grazing the polished wood at first but connecting more solidly the second time around.

A part of you prayed there wouldn’t be an answer, nails digging further into your palms as the silence extended onwards.

Please don’t answer, please don’t answer-

All hopes were dashed by the dark wood swinging open to reveal a wall of red.

Alastor bent slightly at the waist when greeting you, bringing his eye level slightly down to yours, “My, my, what a pleasant surprise this is!~”

The smile you could muster in response didn’t even come close to matching his own, and your greeting not nearly as jovial.

“Hi.” You said, pausing briefly between words. “I was wondering if you had a few minutes?”

The signature clicking of his vertebrae accompanied the tilt of his head as he stared down at you intrigued. “Whatever for?~”

You began to pick at your nail beds. “Just to talk.”

Alastor hummed, amusement dancing behind his eyes before he opened the door to his suite a little bit wider.

“Oh, I suppose I could spare a moment or two for somebody like you.~”

The way he said it made you unsure whether such a statement was a compliment or an insult, but regardless you followed him inside.

“I hope I’m not disturbing you…” You began to say, looking around the space. No matter how many times you’d been inside, you’d never get used to it.

“Not at all, sweetheart!~” His arm came around your shoulders, leading you further into his suite and towards the table he had set up in the swampland that seamlessly blended in with the decor.

With a flash of green another chair appeared beside his own, and he gestured towards it with the end of his microphone staff.

“Have a seat.~”

You complied, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you did so. Foolishly, you had hoped to stay standing for this conversation in order to keep it as brief as possible. The cool metal of the chair dug into the skin of your thighs despite your clothing and you found yourself staring at the tabletop rather than at Alastor himself.

“Now,” There was some rustling of paper as Alastor picked a newspaper back up off the table, half paying attention to you when he spoke. “What can I do for you, my dear?”

This was it. No going back, no cutting corners, better to rip the bandaid off than to beat around the bush.

You bit your cheek harder and you could already taste the blood on your tongue before you opened your mouth.

“I want out.”

Alastor barely looked in your direction, but the subtle twitch of his ear was hard to miss once you spoke.

“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow but never took his eyes off the paper in his lap as he turned the page. “Care to elaborate?”

“Our deal.” The words felt thick when you spoke them. Heavy. “I want my soul back.”

Alastor’s pause made the atmosphere feel nothing short of dreadful as he turned his head to look at you directly. His ever-present smile widened while his eyes narrowed.

“Now what makes you think you deserve that, sweetheart?~”

“It isn’t about deserving anything.” You stated, trying to keep your voice as even as possible. “It’s… renegotiating.”

Alastor snickered, the sound accompanied by a pre-recorded laugh track.

“Well, aren’t you simply adorable?” He placed the newspaper off to the side and rapped his claws against the table. “Unfortunately for you, that’s not how deals work.”

Your hands curled into fists in your lap as he continued speaking.

“While the deal we made was a fairly simple one, the end result is the same.” He crossed his legs and leaned back in his seat. “I own your soul. There aren’t any take-backsies on the matter.”

Nails bit into your palm at the syrupy condescension in his voice. It made anger brim in your chest, but acting on emotion was not a smart move here.

You took a deep breath. “Our deal has run its course, though.” You did your best to ignore how his eyes narrowed further at that. “Now that I’m at the Hotel… it offers what you originally did, so your part of the bargain is no longer necessary.”

His eyes flashed, glowing a brighter red and illuminating the space between the two of you for a moment.

“Ah, I see. You think our deal is now void because I’ve been replaced in a sense.” His smile was anything but reassuring or kind. “And therefore you shouldn’t be expected to uphold your end of the bargain, am I correct?~”

You swallowed thickly. “Yes.”

Alastor tutted. “My dear, who are you to get to decide when our deal is void in any way, shape, or form?”

The question was clearly rhetorical, but you answered anyway.

“Because it’s my soul.” The firmness in your voice did little to cover how weak of an answer that truly was. “I should be able to get a say in when we’ve reached the end of our contract-”

A green flash and the cold snap of metal around your neck cut off any further words you had to say. You barely had any time to register your air getting cut off as you were yanked forward harshly into the dirt - leaving you coughing when the chain slackened enough for you to breathe once more.

“It seems to me that you are forgetting a few things, darling,” Alastor said, pulling sharply on the chain once more to force your face back up to his.

Green stitches lined the seams of his clothes and wove at the edges of his smile - antlers growing with each word he spoke, and it took every bit of courage you had to bite back a whimper.

He was pissed.

“Firstly, the Hotel,” He cooed sweetly,” is the sanctuary you rave it to be because I keep it that way.”

Alastor stood from his chair and stalked towards you, wrapping the end of the chain around his microphone as he went.

“Secondly, might I remind you that it was you who approached me.” He hissed, faux kindness mixing with the barely contained anger you could see in his eyes.

“You,” He nudged your chin with the end of his microphone, “ came to me with the proposal of offering yourself in exchange for my services, not the other way around.” His eyes scanned over your form - lingering on the way your chest moved rapidly to accommodate your breaths before returning to your face.

“I've grown... accustomed to you, my dear, and our deal stands until I say so. Since you are seemingly incapable of understanding the subtleties of that, I’ll put it in simple terms so you can understand.”

The cool metal of your collar was soon replaced with the warm, smooth texture of his glove as he kneeled in the dirt and wrapped his hand around your neck. The gesture made you gasp, reflexively drawing in as much air as possible before he could choke you, but Alastor didn’t squeeze. Instead, he let the weight of his hand do the work.

“I own you. Every breath you take, every little thought in that empty head of yours belongs completely and solely to me.”

The black of his gums peeked out as his smile - which felt more akin to a snarl - widened. “Besides, what would you even do if I gave your soul back?”

Another rhetorical question, but the humiliation and inequity of the situation caused you to answer once more despite everything inside screaming at you not to.

“That’s my business.”

The sheer volume of emotion that passed through Alastor’s eyes told you that was the wrong fucking answer to give.

He snickered and leaned closer to the point you could smell the rot of his breath. “See, you might think that, darling, but since you’re mine, it’s my business too. So here’s how this is going to go.”

The hand around your throat began to squeeze.

“My business is to keep you. You’ll keep doing each and every little thing I ask of you, and you certainly won’t voice complaint when doing so.”

You choked and sputtered again when he hauled you to your feet by your throat and pushed you back into your seat - the armrests catching you directly in the funny bone, causing you to yelp. He placed his hands on either side of you and leered over you. It was the smallest you’d ever felt in your life.

“I’m more than willing to speak to you about anything you wish, darling, I truly am.” He said, inhaling deeply before continuing, and you swore his smile dropped the most you’d ever seen it.

“But if you ever try to speak to me about this again, you’ll learn just how easy you have it with me, is that clear?”

You felt yourself nodding before your mind could even register it. “C-crystal.”

A mixture of relief and dread sunk in your stomach when his smile returned to its normal state and he reached his hand up to pat you twice on the head.

“That’s my girl.~”

#riri writes #Alastor #Hazbin Hotel #Hazbin Alastor #Yandere!Alastor #Alastor x Reader #The Radio Demon #The Radio Demon x Reader #tw yandere #tw abuse #tw abusive relationship #tw choking #tw degradation #tw manhandling #tw threats #dead dove do not eat #tw possessiveness

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hms-no-fun · 7 months

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What's your opinion on the new HS^2 update? I'm really excited it's back but I'm a little worried. Like, the fandom has had a real problem with pretending all the horrible shit that caused it to end in the first place never happened. Is this just gonna sweep that under the rug even more? Is James Roach heading the project because he's less "problematic"? I love James roach and I'm sure he'll do great but what about all the transphobia? I just hope they finally fulfill the Toblerone Prophesy and make June Egbert cannon.

short version is, i'm cautiously optimistic! but this is a loaded question you've given me on a lot of fronts, so i'm gonna try to take it piece by piece.

to start with, the sudden revival of Homestuck^2 (now minus the squared) took me by surprise because to my knowledge, it was entirely dead in the water. my involvement with anything Official ended at Pesterquest, and pretty much the entire post-canon crew i was friends with in 2019-20 has moved on to greener pastures. i share a similar sentiment with @pochapal in that i would have put money on hs2 staying dead forever. i have, quite frankly, dreaded the inevitable day when official Homestuck media would resume production, because the fandom at large seems quite eager to sweep the ceaseless harassment and transphobia that ended hs2 under the rug and pretend that it just, like you said... never happened. when that california cafe used older Pesterquest-like character designs that omitted short chubby Terezi and black-coded Roxy, however well-intentioned and ultimately harmless that was, it felt like a sign of things to come. that, as you fear, the sharper & more personal queerness that we tried to bring to this series would be erased, in favor of something meant to simultaneously appease both tenderqueers and redditors, two sects of the fandom most responsible for the aforementioned harassment.

luckily, that really doesn't seem to be the case!

to your worry that James Roach was made director because he's "less problematic," i'll just say that's entirely the wrong way to look at it. it's not like WP (such that it even still exists) were cruising to get HS2 back up and running. by all accounts, James is the only reason it's happening again in the first place. i can't stress enough just how small an operation this Homestuck business actually is (or, at least, was when i was involved). this is not a Huge Corporation making cynical cash grab decisions. this is someone who cares about the material pushing to get something made where otherwise there would be nothing. check the new About page, where the principles of the so-called Homestuck Independent Creative Union are laid out in plain terms. this is something the original hs2 team fought for, so for this new version to start from there as square one is huge and a good sign of the possible longevity of the project.

next, let's talk about the question of this new team erasing the legacy of the old one. Kate Mitchell is on the record that she was reached out to about this new hs2, approved it, and declined to be involved. i don't know if the other writers were reached out to, but i have no reason to believe they weren't. this is a tremendously important gesture of good faith and goes a long way towards easing some of these worries.

but let's look at the composition of the team itself. do you remember The Perfectly Generic Podcast? originally hosted by future hs2 writer Kate, pgen became a flashpoint for community discourse, often opening doors between official homestuck and homestuck fandom. what made that show special was that, rather than relying on the imo tired genre of the liveread, pgen focused on a different topic each episode and explored it with one or two qualified guests. Kate's goal with the show was to encourage a more adult and quasi-academic discussion of homestuck, of its successes and its failures. if you weren't there, the weight i'm putting on pgen might seem overblown (not least because you can't find it anywhere anymore except on the internet archive). but it's not! when they decisively criticized the wild contents of the Skaianet debacle in episode 19, Andrew listened and worked to bring a more diverse group of creators into the fold. in the months after the Epilogues were released, Andrew issued a statement through pgen on episode 52 about how the Epilogues are meant to create bridges and offramps for the post-canon fandom. it's an essential piece for understanding the epilogues and their relationship to fanworks! that it wasn't included as the author's introduction to the Epilogues in the book version remains to my mind an astonishing oversight, but whatever. point is, pgen mattered to the folks in charge.

so let's look again at the writing staff of this new crew. James Roach first guested on pgen in episode 7, and would go on to be a regular. Haven, who did the Vriska and Roxy sprites in Pesterquest (and probably more stuff i don't remember), guested in episodes 81 and 87. Miles guested on episode 87 as well (unless it's a different Miles, i'm not familiar with their work and ugh this damnable linkrot). Floral, creator of one of my favorite hs fanworks & huge godfeels influence Liminal Space, first guested on pgen in episode 47, and would go on to be a regular (including once during my tenure as host to talk about Jade). on the technical staff side, Kohi built the hs2 website and has remained a backend mainstay both on the WP side and on Vast Error.

all of which is to say, if you were looking for a crew to cynically erase the past and appease the haters, these probably aren't the folks that'd be at the top of your list. of course, if you *really* wanted to cynically erase the past and appease the haters, you wouldn't bother reviving hs2 in the first place!

and that's the crux of the matter here. what cash is there to grab? what clout could possibly be chased? i struggle to think of a decision less obviously profitable and popular than continuing hs2 with a new crew right where it left off. i have to believe this is happening because the people involved want to make it.

so, yeah, i'm cautiously optimistic. i like this crew, i like the contents of the first upd8, and i'm glad as hell it's not a reboot! i'm grateful that by reviving hs2, the hs:bc crew have instantly yanked the epilogues & the post-canon project back into relevance in the broader community. and i always liked hs2 a lot! i was excited to see where they were going! i'm really looking forward to seeing more YIFFY!!!!!

but the thing is, this won't be the hs2 i wanted. i know that, and i'm not expecting it. my greatest hope for hs:bc, for this crew, is that they get the chance to take up the reins and drive this thing in whatever direction they feel most passionate about. if that winds up looking like the hs2 that was originally planned, great-- but more than anything, i want everyone on this team to feel just as empowered to leave a profound and personal mark on this series as the original team did, as i did working on Pesterquest. i hope the outline changes! i hope they take some really wild swings! i want to be surprised!! i want to be challenged!!!

above all, i want them to have the chance to pick a course, sail it, and see it through to the end regardless of what the public thinks. they deserve the chance that the original crew didn't get.

i have plenty of bitterness and cynicism in my heart over the events and circumstances of 2019-20, but as far as i'm concerned it has no place here today. i would never, ever wish the trauma and stress of that era on anyone. let the fandom at large react in whatever way it will, but i want things to be different this time. this is a second chance-- not just for hs2/hs:bc, but for all of us. even people who hate homestuck post-canon! this is an opportunity for everyone to choose to be better this time, and to push back when others might squander that opportunity. this team is not a group of celebrities, not an abstract fiction on the other side of the world, they are human beings who took a job. they've earned the opportunity to do that job, and they deserve to be treated with the respect and dignity that was so often absent a few years ago.

as to your last point, about june egbert and the toblerone. i've been saying for years that andrew's confirmation of june was less "the granting of a wish" than it was "a spoiler shared without input from the creative team." that there is any doubt about june's providence in hs2 can only be attributed to willful, aggressive ignorance on the part of people who refuse to engage with the written word in any way other than plodding literalism. the original team didn't unveil june ~immediately~ because they didn't think of june as a wish, they thought of her as a character in an ongoing story who needed time to develop naturally. i have never not felt entirely crazy about how thick everyone has been about this!

but will the new team make june canon? obviously i have no way of knowing for sure, but i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that probably the answer is "yes, when they're good and goddamned ready." just, please, for the love of god, don't go after every upd8 like "where's june? where's june? why hasn't june yet????" this was one of the worst results of the toblerone spoiler and it put INSANE pressure on the hs2 team. so just... just let this story be what it is. let this new team make the homestuck continuation they want to make.

and in the meantime, if you're really hungry for june... there's always godfeels :)

#homestuck #homestuck 2 #hs2 #homestuck beyond canon #hsbc #upd8 #pgen #homestuck renaissance #sarahposts #what pumpkin #hom3stuck

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the-crimson · 9 months

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I think my favorite and most fascinating thing about theory bros x2 assassination of ElQuackity is how each assassination was received.

The first assassination was a spectacle. Everyone on the server was watching and each popcorn while they did. They put it up on a tv on Foolish’s dragon with all the eggs and people not even really involved present. Even leading up to it everyone was so much more relaxed and going with the flow. It wasn’t real. There weren’t any real consequences because ElQ still had one more life and no one perceived him as a threat.

The second assassination was entirely the opposite. The tension leading up to the explosion was so palpable. No one was laughing and joking around. Max and bbh were the only ones in the know and they knew this was different. This decision would have irreversible consequences. All the eggs were terrified. Dapper and Pomme were hiding in her panic room for far longer than necessary because they were terrified they’d be targeted in ElQ’s rage long after he logged off the server. Roier spoke with Max and Bbh for a good 20 minutes about how this might have unleashed something horrible onto the rest of them.

The first assassination was a joke

The second was a catalyst for unknown and irreversible change

Bbh and Max. The original theory bros. These two grabbed the federation by the balls and refused to play by their rules at the exact moment we discover Cellbit has been dancing on their strings this whole damn time.

Todays streams from tazercraft and foolish to theory bros and elq to cellbit’s enigma… today feels like a turning point.

There is a storm on the horizon and when it hits… I dont think any of us are going to be ready

#qsmp #crimson speaks #this server #10/10 #qsmp admins u guys are doing amazing #we have been fed so much today

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chickenoptyrx · 3 months

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You do so right by z Broly, you understand his potential. Your au with him and Trunks is a delight

Glad we all appreciate my blatant misrepresentation of the character 😌 im partly joking but man fr, 12 year old me would hate that instead of him bein a badass edgy monster, I draw him as.. *checks notes* .. an immature loser with bad coping mechanisms uwu

Ok but in true ask tradition! :U im hijacking this ask to talk about a dumb theory thats been rolling around in my head for like 2 years now: android 16 and broly similarities:

Ok so. If you aren't aware. The android arc of dragon ball was originally going to focus on the androids 19 & 20 and trunks even names them specifically

But Toriyamas former editor, Kazuhiko Torishima, didn't like them as the main antagonists and so Toriyama changed it to focus on 17 & 18 as the bad guys and introduced 16 as a sort of mystery

Now. This gets almost completely dropped once that same former editor ALSO doesn't like these androids and cell becomes the main villian for the arc (yeah yeah, the bomb thing is technically *there*, but its so inconsequential most people forget its even a thing :T )

So. Idk exactly when movie 8 went into production, but we know Brolys LSSJ form was inspired by trunks SSJ grade3 form that appears several chapters after cell has been introduced and the androids have become power-up fodder, so im gonna argue its safe to say the decision to move away from their story had been made

(side tangent that I find absolutely hilarious btw- despite gokus commentary in the HTC, SSJ grade 3 was the strongest form of ssj we saw at this point, so its pretty appropriate to use it as the basis of the strongest scariest ssj form.... rrriiiiiiiiggght up until toriyama introduced SSJ2 on Feb 2, 1993- near exactly 1 month before the first Broly movie hit theaters. Completely undermined what, up til then, looked like a trend in stronger form = bigger and beefier right as the big beefy strongest guy ever movie came out 🤣 absolutely love it!)

So anyways. The movies overall also tend to have varying degrees of similarities with recent arcs in the show and Toriyama, while not overly involved, would give the studio designs and story notes. And. Idk. Yall can tell me im reaching if ya want, but: A guy who's made into a weapon by his father who's on a quest for revenge and has this conflicting view of his son as both someone he feels he failed to protect, someone he cares about, but also as a tool for that revenge, and someone who's destructive power hes become deeply afraid of.. now where have we seen somethin like that 🤔 may be an extra reach but I also think its neat that despite their different face shape, Toriyamas gave em the same expression

Lol they're also both just ridiculously tall bastards. Like for no gd reason. And yeah, to me atleast, it explains why hating goku specifically gets shoehorned into brolys backstory (listen I can absolutely do the mental gymnastics to make it make sense! I'm fine with it! Its fine! I actually like it! ... but it IS a dumb shoehorned plot point! Both things can be true D:< ) look just lookit these tall ass shits

Anyway. My last note is just this statement from Toriyama about 16 and Gero. The way gero is presented is really in line with how I see Paragus as this tragic failure of a father- honestly caring about his kid, but letting grief and revenge drive him into conflicting corners where he wants revenge FOR the life denied his son, but also actively shaping his son into such a terrifying weapon that ultimately hed rather his kid just never be conscious cause thats the 'only way to keep them safe'

“Dr. Gero’s son who died young a long time ago served as the visual model for Android 16. He was a high-ranking soldier for the Red Ribbon Army but was shot down by the enemy. Dr. Gero reserved special feelings for 16 as “his son,” and although he equipped 16 with immense power and a frightening destructive device, he didn’t want to see him be defeated on the battlefield and thus programmed him to have a gentle personality. 16 was consequently considered a failed creation.” The smaller caption below Toriyama’s quote reads: “Was the reason Dr. Gero didn’t want to activate 16 perhaps because of his parental love to not see him destroyed?”

#asks #rant barely related to the ask :D #i just think its neat #if 16 wasnt such a pain in the ass to draw from MOST angles #id probably draw him more #but broly just sparks so much joy to draw #really cant beat it #just a fun design #android 16 #broly #dumb nothing theory that means nothing #ask

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acotarfrustrations · 5 months

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An ongoing list of acowar grievances I'm keeping track of while I read (because there's too many to make a post about all of them)

1) Feyre's constant edginess. It's such a bizarre and ham-fisted shift in the voice of the character from the previous book. Too much tell, not enough show

2) "that they thought Rhysand could ever force someone . . . I added that to the long list of things to repay them for.".........lol OK girl

3) Feyre all of a sudden knowing how to use every power she has despite her very limited "training"

4) constant mention of Lucien and Elain's mating bond. Not only do I not give a damn, I REALLY wish it wasn't a thing all together

5) CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN THE IMPORTANCE OF THE MORTAL QUEENS TO ME? WHO TF EVEN ARE THEY?? It's so stupid that they don't get brought up until feyre is a fae like we have no clue the humans even have an overarching government until she's not human anymore. Why are they turning them Fae? What possible advantages can they grant the fae that they don't have already? How tf are there so many queens when the human territory is so small? For that matter, why tf is Hybern going to war over a tiny handful of humans? Why involve this convoluted plot with turning the mortal queens into Fae when it seems like the humans don't even know of their existence so they wouldn't listen to or follow them in the first place

6) this should be dual pov. I would LOVE tamlin's perspective or even lucien's

7) I need WAY more information about the cauldron because it makes no sense

8) this isn't a gripe but I just have to mention how bad I feel for lucien

9) somehow ianthe became 10x MORE boring as a villain. Like you could replace her woth Regina George and the book would be more interesting

10) WHY IS THERE SO MUCH SEXUAL ASSAULT, OH MY FUCKING GOD

11) this whole spying on the spring court thing is stupid, inefficient, and childish. The NC is risking the lives of all the courts doing this shit when they could easily just ACTUALLY TELL THE OTHER COURTS WHATS GOING ON TO GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO RALLY TOGEYHER AND DEFEND THEMSELVES, form an alliance, and reason with tamlin or attack him if he refuses to listen to reason. Most information they stand to gain from what they're doing is useless in light of how many fae and human lives stand to be lost or displaced

12) WE FUCKING GET IT FEYRE! THERE ARE TWO WOLVES INSIDE YOU! BENEATH YOUR SKIN YOU ARE A WOLF, A MOUNTAIN LION, A PANTHER, A COBRA, A TARANTULA, A BALD EAGLE, AND EVERY OTHER KIND OF PREDATOR UNDER THE SUN!!!!! JFC I GET SYMBOLISM BUT ITS GETTING CRINGE IN HERE

13) that entire ridiculous summer solstice scene in chapter 4

14) FEYRE COMPARING TAMLIN TO ARAMANTHA?! HELLO???????

15) the whole situation with using Lucien to make tamlin jealous is just....icky, idk

16) I almost regret wanting more political intrigue In these novels as it is by far Sarah Janet's weakest suit

17) framing jurian a villain is one of the dumbest decisions ever. Wish he had more screen time though

18) feyre's badass scene w/ the children of the blessed makes me wish that after she became fae, she returned to the human lands, killed/overthrew the mortal queens, said fuck you to tamlin and rhys, and just became queen of the mortal realms, having to earn her people's trust as a fae, protect and defend them, and come to terms w/ her loss of humanity. That would have been so EPIC

19) the entirety of chapter 8

20) the fact that acotar was written. If the series started w/ acomaf I would have a lot less problems. All the constant retconning and inconsistencies in canon and worldbuilding just keep pissing me off, idk I can't look past it

21) I'm losing count and I'm only on chapter 9 so I'm just going to keep reading for now. Might make a part 2 idk

#anti sjm #anti acotar #anti rhysand #anti feysand #anti sarah j maas #anti ic #anti acomaf #anti inner circle #anti acowar

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featjunranghae · 9 months

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Idiots in Love - Han Jisung

Han Jisung X FemReader

summary: the title says it all.

No warning? Not proof read.

"You're so cute."

"huh?"

"I said you look like a fruit."

"What in the world Han Jisung." yn laughed slapping his arms as she sat beside him on the sofa.

Saturdays were meant for the boys. That's what Han firmly believes in. But when his crush/ girl best friend/ situation ship calls him on the phone for 'emergency' purposes (which somehow involves watching a movie) the boys are no longer the priority.

"You still haven't told me why you called."

"You're trying to change the topic-"

"I'll leave your ass alone if you try to bully me."

yn couldn't help but grin snuggling closer to him, hands wrapped around his biceps and head on his shoulder. "I just wanted to see your stupid face."

"Excuse me- Stupid? I'm gorgeous." Han scoffed pretending to push her off. "Changbin was right bros before hoes. I Shouldn't have come to your aid."

"You know I know that you love hanging out with me." Yn said picking up the tv remote. "You love hanging out with me. And so do i. So here Rewatching Shrek for the- I don't even know how many times."

Han didn't argue as he stared at her. Yn had been one of his oldest friends. They met back in middle school and stuck together since. They've watched each other grow through their lowest and highest points.

And after everything, Han couldn't deny that he wanted them to be more than just friends. Friends don't hold each other most nights while sleeping. Friends don't look at each other the way he looked at yn.

But the problem was. He couldn't confess. He tried so many times over the years to subtly let yn know. But she never took the hint. It was like she wanted him to spell it out for her.

"You're thinking." Yn interrupted his train of thoughts.

"I am."

"It's kinda unusual since Chan does most of the thinking for us all."

Han said nothing continuing to stare at her. His lips curved up at the corner slightly. "I know." He said.

yn paused the movie turning back to him "Seriously Sungie, are you okay?" She asked. "You look lost."

Jisung sighed shaking his head turning around. This was another one of those moments when he wanted to confess. He was here at yn's house. She was in his arms. If he got rejected, then this would be over. He would lose yn. That was the only thing that stopped him from ever saying anything.

His feelings were not worth it. It was not worth it. He'd rather never confess than lose yn.

His bandmates seem to disagree. Specially Hyunjin. "Dude. I'm telling you. I get the vibe that yn likes you too. Go for it."

But Hyunjin was a hopeless romantic. And listening to his advice would be a bad decision for him.

"Jisung." Yn called out again.

"Nothing... I'm just tired from practice."

"You looked fine 20 min-"

"yn. Really it's nothing."

"It's not nothing if its bothering you."

"last night I was bothered thinking about the gold fish I lost when I was five. How will you say that it's not nothing?."

yn knew Han like that back of her hand. He always had a tough time vocalising his feelings. He always considered his thoughts as pointless. "You can tell me later. It's okay." She put her head back on his shoulder.

"I can't."

"Why?" She asked looking up at her. "Does it involve me somehow?"

Han nodded, kissing the top of her head. "It involves me? Wait... Are you actually sad cause I called you today..." Yn pulled back. "I know you were hanging out with the boys but I was just-"

"And they say I'm the overthinker." Han laughed. "I don't hate you yn. It's nothing... I just came up with some lyrics."

"Stop lying."

"What makes you think so?"

"You get crazy when you come up with a song. You're scrambling around for a piece of paper and pen. You have a look in your face." Yn said with a small shrug and Jisung couldn't help but smile.

"Do I?" He asked with a small laugh. He never expected her to notice so many details. "Are you like obsessed with me or something?" He joked pulling her towards him.

"You're making it weird Han."

"How am I making it weird?" He laughed. "I always hug my friends and kiss my homies goodnight."

"I hate you." Yn laughed along. "But in all seriousness. Are you okay?"

"I... Maybe. There's just a lot of things on my mind." Han said with a small shrug. "I don't know..."

"You're confused?"

"Kinda like that. I don't know how to deal with something. Like there's something I want to do. But I'm sacred."

"Being scared is for the losers." Yn laughed. I'm not the best person for advice but. If you want to do something. You should go ahead and do it. You'll have my support no matter what."

"What if it's something very stupid?"

"You're always doing something stu- I'M KIDDING!" She exclaimed when he tried to tickle her.

"And what if I say I like you?"

"I like you too what's the big deal?"

"No. What if I like like you?" He asked again this time turning around to face her fully.

"Hannie-"

"I like you yn. A lot. It's so hard for me to pretend I don't."

"Then... I'd say I like you too."

"I'm not joking yn."

"Han Jisung." Yn smiled. "I like you... Since we were in highschool when you took me to prom. You were always special to me... I just never thought you'd.... You'd like me back..." He voice got quite at the end.

"What- YN! I literally always call you cute. I always spend time with you- Everyone in our friend group knew that I liked you!"

"BUT YOU SAID I LOOK LIKE A SQUID AND YOU'D RATHER DATE SQUIDWARD!"

"YFN THAT WAS A JOKE!"

"HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!"

Han couldn't help but smile. "We're idiots." He laughed shaking his head. "Do you wanna be my idiot though?"

Yn grinned before pretending to think.

"Ynnie."

"Yes. I'd like that."

"Damn it was that easy? I now have a girlfriend?"

"You're such a loser. But my loser."

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alpaca-clouds · 4 months

Text

Trying to figure the Gale and Mystra thing out

Reading into the entire lore of the Forgotten Realms, I am still trying to figure out the timeline for Gale. Because that timeline kinda runs into the issue that Mystra has died two times during the last about 100 years.

Now, let me make this one clear at the beginning again: Mystra in regards to Gale is a fucking groomer and just a shitty person, and we stand tall in the "fuck Mystra" camp. Buuuuut... I still am trying to figure this one out, because it might also relate to Gale's age - and how young he was, when Mystra chose him.

Alright. Let me talk a bit about Mystra.

The quickest rundown is the following: When Shar and Selûne were at their usual battling, their energies interacted and created a new goddess: Mystryl, the goddess of magic. And as we know from the game: Karsus did his thing, tore apart the weave and through it destroyed Mystryl. But somehow the weave started to gather around a "peasant girl" (who never was named) from the Netherese Empire, who after this ascended to become Mystra and as Mystra managed to restore the weave.

Now, Mystra got involved in the bullshit that is usual for the gods in this world. The Faerûnian pantheon is very much based in the Greek gods, which really shows with them. There is a lot of inter-god drama, politics, backstabbing and also procreating with unsuspecting mortals. Something that Mystra was apparently quite prolific at.

Which gets me to Mystra's deaths. Because she died two times within a short time.

In 1358DR the gods were banished from their realm by Ao, with the exception of Helm who was made to guard the stair between the realms. While banished from the realm, Mystra was captured and tortured by Bane. However, fearing something like this might happen, she had entrusted some of her power to a human mage named Midnight. So, Midnight and her party went to rescue Mystra. However, Mystra was very weakened and needed to return to the realm of the gods. But Helm wouldn't let her pass, leading the two to battle. Which ended with Mystra dead.

However, as mentioned, Mystra had enthrusted Midnight with some of her power. And probably because of this, the weave then started to work around Midnight, who soon awakened as the reborn Mystra. Yet, one of Midnight's former party members, Cyric, saw a chance to ascend himself and murdered her. This was in 1385DR.

Those two deaths one after another lead to the Spellplague (aka, magic didn't work how it used to). And only in 1479DR Elminster was the one to find that Mystra had in fact survived, though she was severely weakened.

Now, BG3 takes place in 1492, so 13 years after this. So, we do know that Gale could not have been with Mystra for longer than that.

The next question would be, how old Gale is. I would put him in his early 30s. So, he was probably around 20 years old, when Mystra chose him (aka started grooming him).

This does put a lot more reason behind Gale's decision to absorb the orb. Because the ressurected Mystra was very much weakened and not fully connected to the weave. So, he would probably have done this because of that.

But this also kinda makes me wonder, how all of that played out. Given Mystra's very weakened state.

#baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #dungeons & dragons #dnd #dnd lore #mystra #fuck mystra #mystryl #gale #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios

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beautifulpersonpeach · 10 months

Note

BPP, am really really interested to read your thoughts on Seven!

Ask 2: Hey bpp, can i be honest?? Ive been checked out of the fandom but still keep track of any music releases. So i didnt know abt any rumors abt 7. Imagine me being kind of disappointed that it’s another english song from jk when i watched the mv😅 it feels like his most promoted songs since last year has been all eng song… idk i wanted & expted something diff… i didnt like l&r, dreamers and now 7… it’s back to back lol. Tbf i didnt like My You too and thats in korean. At least not enough to listen!again after the first listen.

Im happy that still with you is finally on spotify tho. I’ll still be waiting excited for his album whenever it comes out. Hopefully ill find something i like in it!!

[BPP Note: Both asks above were sent before my "I don't like it..." post. The asks posted below were sent afterwards.]

Ask 3:

Same here

All the hype didn't matched with the song

1. rest members songs had so much depth and substance to it while this was the cliche boy chasing a girl song. Like we always dont need deep songs but the quality could be so much better. This was like just another pop song.

I think I'll put this on same level as BAD DECISIONS. But for bad decisions, atleast the chorus was staying on my mind while for this nothing was catchy enough for us to humm. Just because it's JK it will get hype but otherwise it's so generic. I think I liked LEFT and RIGHT way better than Seven. Even the rap portion felt so unnecessary and boring.

2. MV was kinda nice because of the production but concept was too shallow, the stalking and chasing was so outdated. In my country we have like 9293928843837 MVs in this same concept that not many make the same theme songs again.

3. The choreography. We haven't seen the full version. But for tiktok they do the highlight portions if that's so mediocre idk how rest will be. It was again giving the same mediocre showing off choreography and for me backdancers ruined it with their awkward moves.

4. they wanted this song to be played everywhere around the world. But there was nothing catchy enough to attract gp or go viral on tiktok, even if we sped it up. The only way to make everyone listen is to shove it down their throat but doing payola. But idk if investing in payola is worthy for the song. I also doubt the longietivity, as for me it was boring after 2 listens. I'll rather listen Like Crazy or wildflower or closer 20 times than listening this once.

5. I HOPE he'll bring something fresh to the table for his album and don't involve this mediocre producers who uses the same formula and same superstar persona to make a song successful. He is so much talented to sing a song which is so rich in melody and lyrics. And he can produce way better songs by himself.

Prolly a 4/10 for me

Ask 4: troye sivan's rush (which also came out last night) is exactly what I wish Seven was. I don't mean that in a 'I expect the things JK to make to be gay' way just in the way it's a fun, very danceable, sexy summer song that doesn't pull its punches. Something about seven feels too run through a commercial sanitizer a few times, even with the explicit lyrics.

***

Hi Anon(s),

Jungkook likes to fuck.

Rather, Andrew Watt likes to fuck and thinks Jungkook can relate.

JK has been talking about wanting to show more mature and explicit sides of himself for a good long while now. So I’m glad he’s finally gotten to do that, confirming for us why he keeps getting noise complaints from his neighbours since the mattresses all over his apartment don't help.

BTS has made songs explicitly referring to sex before (though it's been mostly the rapline doing so). So it's nothing new but I guess it's cool JK gets to share with us that he too has sex.

The question I posed to my friends immediately after watching the MV is, “Do you know who's been doing A&R for BigHit since 2020? I really need to know who is doing A&R for BigHit in America because they’ve been doing an appalling job lately. I'm starting to wonder if it's an inside job cause this song is kinda ass.”

That was me ~11 hours ago.

I didn’t like the song.

I’ve streamed Seven about 20 times since then I think, took a break from the song for a few hours, watched his GMA performance, caught a few minutes of the Wlive, then listened to it again just before writing this post and…

I still don’t like it.

Jungkook did a good job on the song, Latto's verse wasn't terrible, and while the song itself isn’t bad… the song isn’t good either.

It’s painfully, and at this point it’s a pattern so I have to add, predictably, mediocre.

Reserving judgement for the album, but Anons, I agree with you for the most part. The suits at BigHit are trying but they are woefully out of touch with the reasons BTS blew up in the West in the first place. I don't even feel like spending any energy doing a review or even trying to explain what I mean. So I'll just ramble on for a bit but try to keep it brief.

---

I have to give BigHit some credit because I can see what they're going for here. Andrew Watt is a very celebrated producer in the US, he won the Grammy award for Producer of the Year in 2021, he's got A listers in his portfolio. So, he's not a cheap name to book and I can see why the suits at BigHit thought he's the genius to gift them a song clinically designed for American radio.

But that pandejo phoned it in. There isn't a lick of creativity to be found anywhere in all 3 minutes and five seconds.

It reminds me of VIBE by Jimin and Taeyang, as the closest analog to the vague dissatisfaction morphing into annoyance and then pragmatic rationalization I experienced in that same sequence when listening to it the first few times.

The song is disappointing because we've all heard it before. Too many times, and we're bored of it. We've heard JK sing this sort of song for years, as covers mostly. So on one hand, while I guess it's nice JK gets to have an American summer JB-reject pop tune of his own, it's not good enough to be the track that introduces him to the world as a solo artist.

It's fine for any white, blonde, blue-eyed heartthrob that can ride on a pretty face and implicit bias to rack up accolades, it's not good enough for Jungkook.

And BigHit needs to start using whatever leverage a US$10.6 billion market capitalization buys you in Hollywood, to insist for songs that are at least as good as the songs made by BTS members and produced by their in-house team. It's a waste of money and everybody's time to fly a battalion to LA just to record 2014's summer hit in 2023.

In my opinion.

Still With You > Stay Alive > My Time > Stay > Left & Right > My You > Dreamers > Seven

All that said, I can't ignore JK has a taste for songs like this, and it's not his fault the song is shit (he didn't write, compose or produce it), so technically he shouldn't be punished for it. And the song is made for radio, while it's not my personal taste a lot of people really like the song (one of my friends likes Seven the most out of all the BTS releases so far), and it will catch on with some support. So, ARMY will support it including me, just to a lesser degree than I've done so far. Fingers crossed JJK1 has something solid on it.

#For people who wanted by opinion on Angel Pt 1 #take the latter sections of this post as one reason I'm not a fan of that song #Seven could've been fine as track seven on the album as an interlude or something #Not as the introductory single to JK's solo debut #Lol what a joke #Anyway #bts #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bangtan #bighit #hybe #bts fandom #bts army #JK Seven

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karuuhnia · 9 months

Text

Okay, I doubt anyone’s ever gonna read this, but I just need to write down my thoughts on Good Omens Season 2. (Beware of spoilers)

The Characters

First of all, I love, love, LOVE the writing and especially the acting of everyone involved! Both Michael Sheen and David Tennant (and everyone else) gave absolutely stunning performances! I also like that the main cast was a lot smaller than in season 1, so everyone had more time to shine. Great choice! (I did however kinda miss God’s narration and meta commentary).

My favourite new character is Muriel by far. She is like Aziraphale's cute, naive, dorky little sister or niece and I had the biggest smile on my face whenever she was on screen! I hope to see more of her in season 3 (which we probably will since she now runs the bookshop).

What I also liked was that Nina and Maggie don’t just magically fall in love in the end. I mean, they barely know each other and Nina is still in a relationship for most of the season. I liked that they even call out Crowley and Aziraphale for trying to force a romance between them instead of treating them like real humans with free will. (Was that a slight call-out to shippers in fandoms? Who knows lol) I hope they'll find love along the way, but I'm glad they were portrayed as realistic human beings.

Gabriel goes from smug, condescending asshole everyone loved to hate to adorkable himbo and I'm all for it! lol I wasn't in the fandom back in the day, but apparently Gabriel x Beelzebub was a popular ship and I can only imagine how happy the fans must be now that it became canon! I didn't see it coming at all, but it played out really well and didn't come across as forced. I just found it a bit funny and sad that these two fell in love and decided to break away from Heaven and Hell to be together in only a couple of years whereas Crowley and Aziraphale haven't managed to do that in more than 6000 years.

Which brings me to...

The Last Episode

We all know the last 20 minutes of episode 6 were absolutely heart-wrenching, but I wouldn't have it any other way! It was the perfect ending/cliffhanger in all regards and both their decisions make perfect sense. I wouldn't have wanted Crowley and Aziraphale to get their happy end at this point in the story because they're simply not there yet, character-wise.

Also, then a huge plot point and conflict would miss from the final 3rd season. I live for the angst and the drama and I can't wait for satisfying character development and the ultimate, heartfelt conclusion. (Please, Neil! ;__;)

Character Analysis

Crowley:

The most interesting things for me were the several hints that Crowley used to be a very high-ranking and powerful angel before he fell (maybe Gabriel’s predecessor?).

In S2-1 Aziraphale already knows who Angel Crowley is and looks at him with awe and admiration. (In German we have the great expression "jemanden anhimmeln" - roughly meaning sth like "to admire someone as if they came from heaven")

Crowley was part of the designer team of the universe and worked together closely with the higher-ups. He was also entrusted with starting the engine of a quadrant.

He is a creator and visionary who loves the stars, the planets, the whole universe and sees the big picture. He also uses critical thinking and encourages others to do the same.

The miracle he performs with Aziraphale to hide Gabriel’s identity is so strong that Heaven thinks the most powerful of Archangels must have done it. Since Aziraphale hides Gabriel from Hell and Crowley hides him from Heaven, but the alarm only goes off in Heaven, we can assume that Crowley had a bigger part in the miracle.

He can somehow deceive other angels from recognizing him as a demon: Gabriel, Michael & Co. in the Ijob episode and later Muriel when she first comes to observe Aziraphale.

He can change the weather and cause fire or lightning at will.

He still has access to classified files for dominions or above.

He literally brings the guy who was killed by the demon horde back to life like it's nothing. Short update: Neil recently said that Mr. Brown wasn't actually dead but only held captive during the battle. Well, Crowley at least healed Mr. Brown's injuries and removed his traumatic memories.

He is the only one in a room full of high-ranking angels who recognizes Metatron as what he is.

But it’s also implied that Crowley may have memory loss after he was kicked out of heaven because the angels did to him something similar to what they want to do to Gabriel now.

He doesn't remember working on the universe with Saraqael.

He remembers being in the Great War, but not battling right beside Furfur.

He vaguely remembers discussing gravity with the other angels, but he doesn’t remember why it was a good idea.

He seems to know exactly what the amnestic Gabriel is going through (the empty house metaphor, the physical pain of trying to remember etc.)

Crowley is hiding a huge trauma and it becomes really obvious how hurt and lonely he really is.

In S1-5 we learn Crowley was tortured by being thrown into a pool of boiling sulfur, just because he dared to ask a few questions and make suggestions. Heaven is cruel beyond all measure! (But because of their chronic lack of communication I doubt Aziraphale knows exactly how much Crowley suffered both physically and mentally.)

At the end of the Ijob episode in season 2 he laughs at the distraught Aziraphale because he knows what it’s really like to have fallen. The thought of someone like Aziraphale going to Hell is ridiculous to him. And he wouldn’t wish something so terrible on anybody anyway, especially not Aziraphale. He knows first hand what Heaven does to “traitors”.

He’s been tortured and kicked out of Heaven, but he doesn’t resent creation itself like the other demons do, quite the contrary. He often goes out of his way to help humans, even if it means punishment from Hell.

Because both Heaven and Hell are cruel and toxic, he decides he doesn’t want to be on any side in this eternal and pointless conflict. This, of course, leads him on a very, very lonely road.

Maybe this is why he (consciously or unconsciously) latches onto Aziraphale so much: He notices Aziraphale’s own doubts about the heavenly plan really early on. So he constantly encourages him to question his beliefs and own morals.

I don’t think he does it for overly selfish reasons, he just wants to show someone else that not everything is black and white and that Heaven’s plans are not always as good as they want to come across. But of course he also doesn’t want to be all alone anymore.

Aziraphale:

Aziraphale is, first and foremost, a guardian, a protector. But we can’t forget he is also a warrior and a leader.

In the beginning he was wielding a flaming sword, in S1-5 he is supposed to lead the heavenly troops into battle, in 1941 we learn he owns and knows how to use a gun. In S1-6 he is willing to shoot the Antichrist (who is in the body of a child I might add!!), but Madame Tracey stops him.

He likes spending his time helping others and indulging in his quirky little hobbies, but if he needs to, he steps up and becomes a leader (e.g. the stand-off in S2-6 when the demons and angels shout at each other and he takes control of the situation).

Aziraphale embodies many positive core values: Love, loyalty, politeness, kindness, forgiveness - which sometimes lets him come across as naive. He is also a big people pleaser.

In Season 2 we once again see how much Aziraphale values and loves humanity (more than we deserve tbh). His heart is so big and full of love for them. He is his best self when he can do good for humans and he thrives off it. The thought of innocent people, especially children dying is really the only thing that ever convinces him to go against Heaven’s rules/orders (seen in the entirety of season 1 and in season 2 in the Ijob and graverobber episodes).

But because of these core values he sometimes acts pretty holier-than-thou and hypocritical: He tends to try to make others do the dirty work so that he can wash his hands of responsibility.

We also learn that he sometimes abuses his heavenly powers to get what he wants. I mean, organizing a ball itself is a very wholesome idea, but he literally manipulates everyone’s clothes, feelings and behaviours, making them do or feel things they wouldn’t normally do in this situation. Nina is the one affected by this the most: She just got dumped and is sad and angry, but Aziraphale’s magic doesn’t allow her to feel those very valid emotions. He only means to do good, but ultimately he forces his will on the participants of the ball. And he doesn’t even realize it! This is not okay.

There is this one very meaningful line in Season 1 where Aziraphale says: "You go too fast for me, Crowley". And it really shows in every aspect of his personality and character design.

Aziraphale always wears similar, familiar clothes and barely changes his hairstyle over the centuries. Crowley on the other hand looks completely different in each time period we see him. Crowley lives in the present, goes with the time, Aziraphale lives in the past, can’t catch up.

No matter how often Heaven disappoints and mistreats him, he still desperately clings to the idea that their plans and institution are good at their core. Even after more than 6000 years Aziraphale is still so obsessed with the idea of good vs. evil, Heaven vs. Hell and to an extent even Aziraphale vs. Crowley. Yes, the two have become visibly closer and more familiar with each other since season 1, but Aziraphale still thinks in the good side vs. the bad side ("my people" vs. "your people", “Of course you said no to Hell, you [not “THEY”!!] are the bad guys!”) absolute, whereas Crowley has distanced himself from both sides long ago and only wants to be with Aziraphale.

Besides their lack of communication this is their biggest problem: Aziraphale can’t accept Crowley for what he is - or is not anymore.

First there is some sort of resentment and caution towards this fallen angel, of course. But Aziraphale wouldn’t be Aziraphale if his big loving heart held onto those feelings for long. He quickly sees that Crowley isn’t purely evil as demons are supposed to be. He likes and WANTS to see the good in everything and everyone.

Aziraphale begins to enjoy Crowley’s company over the centuries and eventually trusts him completely. But due to his indoctrination by Heaven he still unconsciously believes that Crowley, as an evil demon, is beneath him, Aziraphale, who is a righteous and morally superior angel. And while he has compassion and sympathy for Crowley and his terrible fate - he also somewhat pities him. (And being pitied is certainly nothing Crowley wants.)

This is the reason he is so incredibly happy about the thought that he could give Crowley his angel status back. As sad as it is to see how little Aziraphale understands Crowley after all those millenia, it feels completely in-character why he wants Crowley to be an angel again. He sees that there is still so much good left of the former angel he admired so much. He witnessed how brilliant Crowley used to be, an angel who loved creating and gazed at the universe with such exaltation. How happy he was, how bright, how enthusiastic in what he was doing!

This plays right into Metatron’s hands in the last episode.

Early in the season Crowley is offered a huge promotion in Hell if he finds Gabriel. And Crowley doesn’t even consider it for a single second - even though he hates Gabriel (He still clearly remembers the "Shut your stupid mouth and die" and all the other horrible things). When Aziraphale is offered the new position as Supreme Archangel he hesitates at first, but as soon as Metatron suggests reinstating Crowley to angelic status, he agrees in delight. Aziraphale thinks now they wouldn't have to be separated, they could even be together officially and it wouldn’t be reprehensible anymore because they’d now both be angels, both on the “good” side. They’d finally be equals and could even do good together, change the system.

So of course, from Aziraphale’s perspective, making Crowley an angel again would solve all of their problems (or what he perceives as problems). He, Aziraphale, wouldn't have to have a bad conscience anymore for spending time with someone who should be a mortal enemy. He could finally “fix” Crowley, make him truly good again. But of course it backfires horribly.

Their relationship:

As much as I loved the funny banter, the wholesome and adorable slice-of-life moments, this season made one thing really obvious to me: There is a big power-imbalance (for the lack of a better word) between them in their relationship.

As far as we've seen, Crowley is almost always the one who gives, Aziraphale is almost always the one who takes. When Aziraphale wants something (e.g. protect Gabriel, take the Bentley to Edinburgh, have Crowley take care of the bookshop in his absence, organize a dance etc.), Crowley initially refuses - but in the end always gives in to what Aziraphale wants.

Aziraphale is very outgoing, has a whole little community with the vendors in his street, actively mingles with humans and has hobbies (reading, collecting books, eating at fine restaurants, listening to music, practicing magic, going on little detective adventures etc.). What I’m saying is: Aziraphale has a life for himself, even after becoming a persona-non-grata in Heaven.

Crowley on the other hand... He either goes along with what Aziraphale does/wants or sleeps in his car (and takes care of his plants I guess). That's pretty much it. He doesn’t get any new tasks from Hell and only communicates with Shax on occasion when she brings him his mail or random news. He is so isolated from Hell, Heaven and Earth that literally his only reason for existing at this point seems to be Aziraphale. He practically has no ambitions or life of his own. Aziraphale always lets Crowley be his rescuer because it makes Crowley happy. But isn’t it sad that Crowley is only ever happy when he can protect and be around Aziraphale? Crowley’s whole life revolves around him and nothing else. This is not healthy!

Think back to season 1 when the bookshop burns down and Crowley thinks he’s lost Aziraphale forever. He is a mess, he screams and cries and breaks down. It was only for a couple of hours, but he’s experienced what a life without his one true friend is like and the loss hits him so hard, it hurts even us as an audience!

And the worst thing: I don't think either of them really notice all that - because they don't TALK! Nina and Maggie were so right: The two idiots never really talk to each other about their true thoughts and feelings.

There is so much miscommunication and misunderstanding of each other's needs because of that:

Aziraphale is internally conflicted about what he wants (be a good angel of Heaven vs. be with the enemy, an "evil" demon).

Crowley knows exactly what he wants (to be with and ONLY with Aziraphale), but he can’t muster up the courage to say it. After all, the last time he spoke freely about his thoughts, he was branded a traitor, tortured and cast out by Heaven.

So they constantly fail to find a solution that both of them are happy with:

Both in Season 1 and 2 Crowley asks Aziraphale to leave everything behind and run away with him, not acknowledging Aziraphale's undying love for and loyalty to humankind. And he gets rejected for it both times.

In S2-6 Aziraphale asks Crowley to come to Heaven with him, not acknowledging how Heaven has hurt Crowley, not accepting him for who he is. Instead he wants to fix him. Over the years he has also become so used to Crowley always being there for him, he takes his help for granted. So when Crowley actually stands his ground for once and refuses to do what Aziraphale wants, it shocks Aziraphale to his core. He’s never been rejected like that.

They aren’t humans, they are both ageless, sex- and genderless, asexual, otherworldly beings, so human relationship standards don’t apply to them. We can also see that in Gabriel’s and Beelzebubs relationship. Their love is something emotional, not physical. They don’t kiss or even hug, they just look at each other and sing "Everyday" - their personal love song - before they go off together.

Crowley and Aziraphale have spent so much time away from Heaven and Hell and lead almost human-like lives on Earth. So in a desperate, last ditch effort Crowley chooses to show his emotions in a very physical, human way, a way that beings like them wouldn’t normally do. But it’s his very last chance to make Aziraphale understand. So he kisses him. It’s an angry, sad, messy, utterly unpleasant kiss, it’s painful to look at.

Aziraphale doesn’t kiss back, his hands are erratic. He is so torn. His heart and his brain tell him two different things. He needs Crowley, but Crowley refuses to come to Heaven with him.

And what is the first thing that comes to Aziraphale’s mind after the kiss? “I forgive you!” Because that’s what he’s good at, right? Forgiveness. He told Maggie that in the first episode of the season. I don’t know what exactly he wants to forgive and I’m not sure he knows himself.

When they part they’re both in emotional agony, they both feel betrayed. Crowley storms out, but still waits outside his car. He still has this tiny bit of hope left that Aziraphale will come with him after all. He only gets in and drives off once he sees the doors to Heaven close behind Aziraphale and Metatron.

Metatron’s plan

I read some theories that Metatron poisoned Aziraphale’s coffee, but I really, REALLY hope that this isn’t true. It would take away all the gravity of Aziraphale’s decision if he is just drugged to go along with Metatron and comes to his senses once the drug wears off. That would be boring and lame!

I also don’t think that Crowley and Aziraphale switch appearances again as they did in Season 1: Clearly Metatron would be able to see through the disguise, he is much more powerful than the angels after all.

No, I think Metatron cleverly manipulates Aziraphale by giving him the opportunity (or rather the illusion thereof) to make changes in Heaven with Crowley at his side. Aziraphale is so convinced that Crowley would be full of joy and gratitude at the prospect of becoming an angel again. He once again fails to understand that this is the exact opposite of what Crowley wants.

Metatron on the other hand appears to know Crowley much better in that regard. He remembers how powerful Crowley is and how far he fell for asking the wrong questions. He loathes Crowley and would never want him in a position of power in Heaven ever again. So from the outset Metatron knows that Crowley would not agree to become an angel again, that’s why he makes that specific offer to Aziraphale in the first place. It’s his clever way to make the two fall out with each other, to separate them and still win Aziraphale over for his plan.

I just wonder what his real goal is here. Michael or Uriel seem like a much more logical choice for Supreme Archangel if he really only wants to go through with the next Armageddon. That can’t be everything, right? He knows that Aziraphale actively worked on preventing the first Armageddon. Why would he think Aziraphale would now be on board for the second one? Metatron can’t underestimate Aziraphale that much, right? He’s way too cunning to believe that Aziraphale is weak-minded and gullible.

I mean, I’m not too versed in religious mythology, but doesn’t the Second Coming of Christ mean Judgement Day and that God’s kingdom takes over the world after smiting all enemies? That doesn’t sound like something Aziraphale wants (especially the smiting of all enemies which would include Crowley). So why does he still agree to go with Metatron after learning about this???

Does Aziraphale think he can outsmart Metatron and all the other high-ranking angels and avert the end of the world when he’s in a position of power? I mean, he is intelligent, he must have a plan after hearing about the Second Coming, right? That would at least somewhat explain his very weird and uncanny smile during the credit roll. I just don’t know what to think about all this.

My best guess is that Aziraphale will first try to undermine Metatron and speak to the Almighty Themselves (something he already wanted to do in season 1 but was denied), and also to make positive reforms in Heaven. But Metatron sees this coming of course. To make Aziraphale his obedient puppet he will simply threaten to erase Crowley from the Book of Life should Aziraphale ever dare to step out of line.

Crowley never told Aziraphale about what he and Muriel found out in Heaven - that Michael & Co. were actively planning Armageddon 2.0 before Gabriel went renegade. But now Crowley can’t do anything to help prevent it because he knows that Aziraphale is completely at Metatron’s mercy.

I’m dying to see how this will all play out, but at this moment I’m just confused and unsure about all of this.

So what do I want/expect from season 3?

I want Crowley to overcome his trauma, his pain, his trust issues, all the rejection and loss he faced. I want him to be able to be himself: Free, loved, respected, cared for, accepted. I want him to live a happy life with, but not live FOR Aziraphale. I want him to make other meaningful connections. Maybe with Muriel? She is the only other kind and good-hearted angel we see in the show and a friendship would benefit both of them greatly in my opinion.

I want Aziraphale to fight for Crowley, to protect him for once. When they meet again I want him to do the stupid apology dance for three hours. I want him to finally accept Crowley as his best friend, his soulmate, his true love, his equal. I want him to take Crowley’s glasses off, look him in the eyes and then be the one to lean in for a kiss. A kiss that isn’t forceful and desperate, but heartfelt and genuine.

As for the plot of season 3… I’d really like to see a flashback of the often mentioned Great War between the angels and soon-to-be-demons. I’d also like characters from season 1 to make a cameo appearance if possible. Apart from that I don’t have any predictions or big ideas (as I said before, still very confused about Metatron’s plan).

I will put my faith in Neil Gaiman and Wait and See (TM) what he ultimately comes up with. :’)

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens spoilers #karuuhnia writes

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marvelstars · 5 months

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The Sith´ari and the Chosen One

"It really has to do with learning. Children teach you compassion. They teach you to love unconditionally. Anakin can’t be redeemed for all the pain and suffering he’s caused. He doesn’t right the wrongs, but he stops the horror.

The end of the Saga is simply Anakin saying, ‘I care about this person, regardless of what it means to me. I will throw away everything that I have, everything that I have grown to love - primarily the Emperor - and throw away my life, to save this person.

And I’m doing this because he has faith in me, loves me despite all the horrible things I’ve done. I broke his mother’s heart, but he still cares about me, and I can’t let that die.’

Anakin is very different in the end. The thing of it: The prophecy was right. Anakin was the Chosen One, and he does bring balance to the Force. He takes the ounce of good still left in him and destroys the Emperor out of compassion for his son."

George Lucas, The Making Of Revenge Of The Sith; page 221

So I have been thinking on Palpatine and Anakin´s relationship in terms of prophecy and what each of them are to their respective orders and I believe this is one of the reasons why their bond is so interesting to me.

Given how Palpatine destiny in the story was to make a reality 1000 years of Sith Grand Plans and rebuilt the Sith Empire, I believe he truly was meant to be the Sith'ari, a sort of King figure in the old sith Empire, there was a prophecy about him, about how he was going to bring back the sith order to their former glory so his connection to Anakin as a person and as the chosen one was predestined imo. Their fate was to destroy each other from the very beggining and in a way both prophecies completement each other and both became true in the end.

Palpatine is the only one aware of this reality, his master was afraid of Anakin and wanted to kill him before he could ruin their plans but Palpatine, in his pride and sense of ownership over Anakin, thought that it was possible to harness Anakin´s future, just like the Sith always sought to harness the force power in the benefit of the sith and this is how their story begins with Anakin being an innocent child who grew to respect and actually love Palpatine as a friend and father figure before he discovered the truth and Palpatine being the serpent in Anakin´s life ready to pounce and destroy Anakin emotionally and psychologically so he could take him for the sith under the wise of his well intentioned and nice mentor.

What I guess neither Palpatine or Anakin expected was for Palpatine to develop actual feelings of ownership that could be taken as a kind of slight care, that keep him from letting die young Vader on Mustafar, something he would not have done for Dooku or Maul and not only this but to do everything in his power, using his own force strenght to keep Anakin alive. This after years of knowing him as a child, seeing him grow and become a strong warrior but also years of listening to each other and just being there for each other, which was done by desing on Palpatine´s part, he wanted Anakin to become emotionally dependent only on him, what he didn´t expect was Anakin to also have an effect in his decisions.

This small moment of mercy from the Sith Master towards someone he saw as his slave but who he saw grow up and involved himself in his life in a way he didn´t do for any of his apprentices, lead him to keep alive Vader, who served him faithfully and blindly for 20 years, this was the reason why years after Vader would be in the precise place and moment to destroy Palpatine to save his Son, not out of hate and thrist for power as the sith do but out of love, because even while Vader is stopping Palpatine, his intention was to protect Luke from both of them and even when he did this he didn´t stop loving Palpatine but he wasn´t going to let him kill his Son, in fact in the ROTJ novel Vader considered if he had to go down the reactor shaft as well and with this action, Anakin saved the galaxy from 10,000 years of Sith Empire, making a reality the old chosen one prophecy.

imgur.com

Palpatine was controlling the imperial soldiers under his command in the Death Star and of course he was using the force to turn the stakes in his favor during Luke and Vader´s duel, just like he did years before in the prequel trilogy to keep the Jedi Order blind of his presence, it isn´t a coincidence the rebel alliance was able to fire at the death star just moments after Palpatine died. This is how Lucas symbolized the relationship between the force and the actual events happening in the war on the physical plane, if the darkside is strong, the sith have the advantage, if the light side is stronger, the sith are defeated. Vader killing Palpatine to protect his Son definitely counted as a light side win which lead towards the return of the Jedi and in Anakin´s case, the return of the Jedi/Person he used to be.

Palpatine: "Vader! I am your master!" Darth Vader: "Darth Vader's master! But not Anakin Skywalker's!" ―Darth Vader, to Emperor Palpatine before casting him down the Death Star II's reactor core shaft

And all this would not have happened without that small moment of mercy from Palpatine and that small stubborn light who refused to die inside of Vader´s heart which Luke called and brought back to life.

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felassan · 7 months

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Edmonton radio station interview with Alex Kennedy, lawyer for the former BioWare employees who are sueing for better severance: [link]

Description:

"Seven former employees of BioWare are suing the Edmonton-based video game developer for wrongful dismissal. They allege they were let go without cause, and that Bioware and its parent company, Electronic Arts, are not offering them reasonable compensation. We talked to Alex Kennedy, their Edmonton-based lawyer."

Transcript of segment:

Host: "Seven former employees of BioWare are sueing the Edmonton-based video game developer for wrongful dismissal. They allege they were let go without cause, and that BioWare, and its parent company EA, are not offering them reasonable compensation. Alex Kennedy is their Edmonton-based lawyer, and joins us on the line this morning. Good morning Alex."

Alex: "Good morning Mark."

Host: "So how did these seven former employees come to be fired from BioWare?"

Alex: "Well, on around August 23rd of this year, 50 people were let go without cause from BioWare. That was about 20% of their workforce. So these were among the 50 people who were let go."

Host: "So what kind of work would they have done for BioWare?"

Alex: "A wide variety of things. One of the people, I'm allowed to share her identity, is Mary Kirby, who's done a lot of writing for BioWare's sort've, central games, and is the creator of a lot of very popular characters. But we have people who did programming, we have people who did sort've, directing of the games, and all sorts of different, different, functions."

Host: "And were these plaintiffs, were they long-time employees of BioWare?"

Alex: "Oh, yes, yes, one of my plaintiffs, one of my plaintiffs was 23 years at BioWare and he started when he was 20 years old, so, most of his life has been at that job."

Host: "Now when the layoffs came here, was this part of an overall restructuring of EA, or was it specifically at BioWare? What happened there?"

Alex: "Yeah, my understanding is that this has to do with the larger restructuring at EA. It's strange, EA is doing pretty well in terms of its profits. I think, if I've read correctly, that they made $400 million last quarter. But they still wanna remove 6% of their jobs for some reason. I'm not, I don't really understand how those decisions are made, to be honest."

Host: "So what amount of compensation has BioWare offered for letting them go?"

Alex: "Yeah, I can't give the exact numbers because, you know, that was offered in an offer to my clients, but we would suggest that the amount that they gave is probably less than half of the amount they would be truly entitled to in court."

Host: "And so, are we talking about just severance, or are there other things that are involved in compensation that you think should be considered?"

Alex: "Well, the issue, part of the issue in this particular case is that what BioWare offered was just based on the base salary that my clients were receiving. But in Canadian law, generally speaking, it appears to be that people who are removed from their jobs, when they receive severance, when they receive notice, it should include all of the benefits, including things like, even stock vesting [?], or profit-participation [?], that a person was engaged in at the time that they were fired. So in these cases, because that was absent, my clients are winding up not only with less money in terms of the amount of time they should be paid, but also less money in terms of the total amount they should be paid."

Host: "Now are these contract workers that have things spelled out, and so wouldn't the contract sort've indicate how much they would get?"

Alex: "Well, there is a contract in some cases, although not all of my plaintiffs' cases, but there is a contract in some cases, but, it has a term that appears to be illegal, which states, as I said earlier, that any severance will be based on the base salary and will explicitly not include any benefits. It seems to be contrary to Sections 57 and 61 of the Employment Standards Code."

Host: "Can you tell us how much your clients are asking for then, in damages, or, then, I guess, in severance?"

Alex: "Yeah, well, I'm asking, in my clients' case, for about 1.5 months of severance for every year worked in service at BioWare. We're also asking for a one million dollar punitive damages just based on the fact that the contract was illegal and that BioWare, despite the fact that this has been drawn to their attention, is continuing to stand by that being the requirement."

Host: "So, why the punitive damages?"

Alex: "Well, again because, when my clients are paid the small amount that they, that BioWare has essentially decided that they're entitled to, that already does not include their benefits. So my clients are put in a situation where, in order to pursue their legal rights, they have to, you know, live on a small amount of money that's been allowed to them. On top of that there have been a couple of cases where, you know, as we indicate in our Statement of Claim, that BioWare has failed to give proper information to new employers, and also that the requirements that BioWare put on my clients are pretty onerous in terms of preventing them from finding appropriate new work."

Host: "What are we talking about there? Are these NDAs, or are they restrictions on where they can work?"

Alex: "Yeah, they're NDAs. And how that applies in terms of people who've done a lot of creative work can be very difficult. You know, my clients worked on a game for about, say, 3, 4, 5 years, game hasn't been published yet. They're not really in a position to be able to say, 'oh, well I created this and that, and this and that', they can't really speak about it, so they have to say, 'well I worked at BioWare for 5 years, and I can't really say what I did'".

Host: "NDA, by the way, is a non-disclosure agreement, for those who don't know about the acronym. So have there been any special challenges for your clients in trying to get back into the workforce?"

Alex: "Well yes, I mean, my clients, you can imagine, a lot of my clients have been doing this for, as I said, majority of their adult lives. They're not sure if they wanna continue this. They are in Edmonton, where, there's a, you know, it's good that we have such a vibrant software industry, but, you know, it's limited in terms of what they can do. 6000 other people have been let go from the computer games industry this year, so it's hardly a wide-open market at this point in time."

Host: "Now these layoffs came in August. Are you anticipating a long haul here for your clients, or what do you hope the timeline is?"

Alex: "Yeah, I mean, we always hope that a matter will settle. But, in reality, BioWare's stance to date has been that there's simply nothing to negotiate, and 'take us to court', so, you know, obviously I hope that BioWare changes its mind, maybe this is a big misunderstanding or something like that, but, you know, as things stand right now, we have to go through the entire court process, which, as you know, can take quite some time."

Host: "Alex, appreciate you coming on to talk about it today. Thanks very much."

Alex: "Thank you."

Host: "Alex Kennedy is a lawyer representing seven plaintiffs who are sueing BioWare for wrongful dismissal. The allegations made in this lawsuit have not been proven in court. CBC did reach out to BioWare for comment on this lawsuit, but we did not hear back from them by deadline."

[source]

#dragon age: dreadwolf #dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #da4 #dragon age #bioware #video games #long post #longpost #too much txt to pop this in a block quote i think sry ^^

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kjmsupremacist · 1 year

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something sweet, a peach tree (mark/jaehyun)

Mark begins the summer after his junior year with an unpaid internship and no other plans. But when he agrees to go pick his baby niece up from her music lessons, her teacher, Jeong Jaehyun, catches his eye. Too bad he’s off limits, and not just because Mark’s niece is involved. Jaehyun is 41 to Mark’s 20.

To sate his curiosity about older men, Mark decides to look into becoming a sugar baby. He could use the money, after all. And he seems to find a willing patron right away. But for the first time in Mark’s like, he finds he might be in over his head.

Chapter 2 | prev next mlist

Characters: Mark, Jaehyun, other members of nct throughout

Genre: romance, angst, smut, age gap, sugar daddy!au

Pairing: Mark/Jaehyun

Warnings: AGE GAP (older jaehyun, younger mark), alcohol mentions, poor decision making perhaps

Rating: Explicit

Length: 7.1k

Mark wonders in retrospect if he should’ve at least tried to dress up a little. Not, like, a full suit or something, but at least a button-down instead of a t-shirt under a hoodie, and maybe khakis or whatever instead of jeans he’s pretty sure he’s had since his sophomore year of high school. But it’s far too late for that now, so he pushes the doors to the coffee shop open with a deep breath.

He hasn’t told anyone about this meeting. He considered telling Johnny, but honestly he’s kind of worried it’s going to go really poorly, and he could do without teasing. Besides, it’s not like he needs someone to know his location for safety reasons. They’re just gonna chat. If it goes well and they arrange a more private meeting, then he’ll loop Johnny in. For now, it’s Mark’s little secret.

He orders his drink (a red velvet hot cocoa, if you must know, but hopefully this Yuno guy won’t ask) and looks around surreptitiously while he waits for it. The booth in the corner is empty, so once his drink is ready, he steels himself and heads over to it, dropping down onto the plush seat that faces the door so he can keep an eye out.

He’s barely taken a sip of hot cocoa when he feels someone approach. He looks up, apprehensive, but it’s—

“Jaehyun-hyung,” Mark says in surprise, tongue almost tripping over the honorific. Jaehyun had insisted on hyung when Mark tried to call him ssaem again. “Hey.”

“Mark,” Jaehyun says, sounding equally surprised. “I, uh, I saw you over here and thought I’d come say hi. What a coincidence, huh?”

“Yeah,” Mark agrees dumbly, trying to peer around Jaehyun’s shoulders for his mystery man without being obvious.

“What brings you here?” Jaehyun asks, nodding at the cup in Mark’s hand. “I thought you weren’t too big on coffee.”

“It’s hot cocoa,” Mark admits sheepishly. Jaehyun grins, dimples popping out and making Mark’s stomach flop pathetically. He has to get Jaehyun out of here before Yuno arrives, or it’s about to get really awkward—and blow whatever slim chance he might have had with Jaehyun completely. “I’m, uh, I’m waiting for someone.”

“Oh!” There’s a pause. They blink at each other, and Mark feels his anxiety climb a tick higher. “I am too, actually. Which—I mention only because I had arranged to meet at this exact table. With the person I’m waiting for.”

“Oh,” Mark says. “Another coincidence, I guess! The person I’m supposed to be meeting agreed to meet at this table, too.” Confusion and something else Mark can’t figure out flicker across Jaehyun’s face. “But,” he adds quickly, making to get up, “we had a second spot if this table was taken, so no worries! I can totally go.”

“No, that’s okay,” Jaehyun says immediately. “I also—I also planned a backup spot. You’re already sitting.”

“Are you sure?” Mark asks, still half out of his seat. “C’mon, I was always taught it was bad manners to make someone older than me stand if I could give them a seat.”

“I’m barely in my forties, I’m not geriatric,” Jaehyun replies, soft humor entering his voice. “It’s fine,” he adds. “The spot by the window has chairs, too.”

“Hang on,” Mark says, horror slowly dawning. “That’s—that’s your backup spot?”

Jaehyun’s expression drops. “Ah,” he says. “Yes. Why?”

“It’s just—that’s also my backup spot,” Mark says, and then rushes on before he can chicken out. “And this is starting to feel like way too many coincidences.”

Jaehyun swallows, looking around, and then slowly lowers himself into the seat opposite Mark. He leans in a little so Mark can hear him. “Are you—are you Minhyung, by chance?”

Mark’s heart hammers in his chest. He thinks he might be a little nauseous; suddenly, the red velvet hot cocoa seems like a terrible idea. “Uh, yeah, I am,” he manages. When did his mouth get so dry? “Are… you Yuno?”

“Yeah, yes, I am,” Jaehyun mutters, leaning back. “Shit.”

“Shit,” Mark repeats.

They’re silent for a minute, fidgeting. Mark watches Jaehyun through his eyelashes. The thing is, if Mark didn’t already know Jaehyun, if Jaehyun wasn’t his baby niece’s fucking music teacher, he’d be perfect. He’d fuck Jaehyun for free. Honestly, he kind of thinks he should be the one paying Jaehyun.

“Well,” Jaehyun says finally. “This is awkward. How about we just… forget this happened?”

Mark knows it’s probably for the best. Technically, there’s nothing wrong with it, but it feels weird. And kids are kinda perceptive. What if Lucy picks up on something and then says something to James? Mark’s good at lying to his parents, but James can always call Mark on his bullshit. And then what? “Yeah,” Mark says slowly. “We probably should.”

Jaehyun laughs, tracing the wood grain on the table with one of his fingers. “You’re probably relieved, right? I’m probably not what you had in mind when you were messaging Yuno.”

Mark’s stupid mouth gets ahead of him again. “Honestly? Other than the fact that you teach my niece, you’d be a great fit,” he says. “I was afraid you were gonna be, like, super old. And super ugly.”

Jaehyun lets out surprised laughter. “Well, I’m glad you think I’m not super ugly,” he says.

“No, I mean—” Mark’s face is burning, he can feel it. God, it’s so embarrassing and definitely fucked up of him, but he wants Jaehyun so bad, and he kind of doesn’t care if his brother finds out.

“That’s a bad set of criteria,” Jaehyun says. “I mean, who cares about age or looks if he’s a creep? Or a murderer?”

“What if we didn’t forget about this?” Mark blurts.

“What?”

“I mean, it’s like you just said. What if the next person I meet is a murderer? Or, like, a cannibal? Or, you know, is super old and super ugly?” Mark says. At least this gets Jaehyun to huff out some laughter. “Like, we kind of already know each other. I don’t think you’re a murderer. I’m definitely not a murderer.” And I already like you.

Jaehyun sighs. “Yeah, but what about Lucy?”

“It’s not like she’s my kid,” Mark says. “And even if she was, so what?”

“What if I subconsciously give her preferential treatment?” Mark can’t tell if Jaehyun is joking or not.

“Dude,” Mark says, and then cringes. “Is that, like, really what you’re worried about?”

Jaehyun lets out a quiet chuckle. “No,” he admits. A pause. Jaehyun looks down at his hands, then back up at Mark, eyebrows pinched. “Mark, you’re twenty. And I’m… not.”

“You were fine with the idea before you knew it was me,” Mark points out, maybe a little grumpier than he meant it.

“Right, but—” Jaehyun cuts himself off with a sigh. “I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

Mark arches an eyebrow at him. “It’s not like we’d be, what, in a relationship or something. I have a mind of my own, hyung. And you don’t seem like the manipulative type. We’d just—be fucking, that’s all. I’m fine with that. And I understand the consequences.”

“Do you?” Jaehyun asks. Mark thinks it was supposed to come out snappier, but mostly he just sounds weary.

“If you don’t want to, it’s fine,” Mark says. He’s not going to try to coerce Jaehyun into this. If this is going to happen, it’ll be because they both decided to do it.

Jaehyun presses his lips together, thinking. Mark wants desperately to keep talking just to fill the stifling silence, or else leap up and run away and be done with this forever, but he forces himself to sit still, taking another sip of his cooling cocoa.

But finally Jaehyun speaks. “The problem is I do want to,” he says quietly. There’s something under the veil of his calm tone, but Mark can’t exactly place his finger on it.

“Oh.” Mark doesn’t know what to say. Jaehyun’s so taciturn, but when he does speak, he’s always straightforward and honest. It makes Mark feel like he’s just gotten the ground ripped out from under him. Now that he thinks about it, he should’ve known who Yuno was from the start. He texted the exact same way he speaks. He clears his throat. “Yeah, okay. Uh, but—I don’t need you to pay me. Really. It’s not like I need the money, I just thought some actual income might be nice. But—it’s you, so. So we can forget the whole… sugar daddy thing.” He has to practically drag the words from his mouth.

Jaehyun shakes his head. “Still. I would like to take care of you. If I can.”

Mark can feel himself paling at the thought. “I can’t accept money from you, hyung.”

“You came into this looking for a specific kind of arrangement,” Jaehyun counters. “It’s not fair that you don’t get… what you were looking for, just because it’s me.”

I’m getting exactly what I was looking for, Mark wants to say. “It wasn’t just the money I was after,” he says instead.

Jaehyun laughs at this. “Okay, I catch your drift. But still. Let me spoil you sometimes, at least,” he says, like he’s bartering. “Just little things. Help you out with groceries. Take you out to dinner or something.” When Mark hesitates, he continues, “I want to. I like it.”

Mark thinks about it, then nods. If Jaehyun’s offering, he’d be stupid to refuse. Besides, he seems so genuine, it almost feels rude to say no. “Okay,” he agrees.

“Okay,” Jaehyun repeats. They look at each other for a second, and then Jaehyun kind of nods to himself. “So,” he says. “How do we want to do this?”

Mark fidgets. “I mean,” he says. “We can—we can do whatever, but I’m free for the rest of today, so.”

Jaehyun smiles. “Wanna… come back to mine, then?” he offers.

“Yes,” Mark says, maybe a little too quickly. He’s almost worried Jaehyun’s gonna change his mind at any minute, and he wants the chance to prove himself before either of them can chicken out.

Jaehyun doesn’t say anything about it, just stands, serene. “My car’s across the street,” he says.

Mark doesn’t recognize the relief for what it is until they step out onto the sidewalk. He’s kind of glad he doesn’t have to go through all the song and dance of proving he’s the right balance of hardworking, sexy, and poor to some random man just so he can get a weekly allowance. He probably would’ve made way more money that way, but the payoff is worth it. He watches the pretty line of Jaehyun’s neck as he checks for cars before crossing the street. He doesn’t have to pretend he thinks the man he’s fucking is hot. He doesn’t have to pretend he doesn’t think Jaehyun is hot now, either, except for when Lucy’s looking. In one bizarre, dizzying moment, it seems like everything has fallen into place.

Jaehyun’s car is as surprising as everything else about him. It’s all white, some fancy new kind with what is basically an iPad as the dashboard interface. It hums to life with a press of a button. Mark peeks at the different options on the stick shift, trying to be as surreptitious as possible. It looks like some kind of hybrid model, but it’s about as far from a Prius as Mark can imagine.

“Nice car,” he says belatedly as Jaehyun pulls out into the street.

Jaehyun laughs softly. “Thank you,” he says. “I know my rich-guy side is a little hard to reconcile with the music teacher you first met, but I promise the music teacher is a little closer to who I actually am. I just… indulge.”

“You don’t have to justify it to me, man,” Mark says. “It’s, um. It’s kinda hot.”

Jaehyun laughs again, louder this time and a little flustered. “So you do just like me for my money.”

“No, that’s not what I meant!” Mark feels a blush rising to his cheeks as Jaehyun continues to laugh—not meanly, though it embarrasses Mark all the same. But refuting it would be so much worse. Yeah, Mark likes Jaehyun’s money. But he also likes everything else about him. The money hardly registers on the list of Things Mark Likes About Jaehyun. And he can’t possibly say that.

Luckily, Jaehyun seems like he doesn’t mind in the slightest. “Will you stay for dinner?” he asks. “I’m not much of a cook, but we can order in.”

“I’d love that,” Mark says. I guess I am just whoring myself out for food, he thinks to himself, which is fine.

They chat as Jaehyun drives. Mark tells Jaehyun which instruments he plays. Jaehyun tells him about his company—his parents made him go into something “serious” in college, but his grandmother insisted he also study something he enjoyed, so that’s how he ended up with business and music.

“They were both right,” Jaehyun says cheerfully as he pulls into the driveway of a small but pretty house and turns off his engine. “Oh, I forgot to mention—I have two dogs. I hope that’s okay.”

“Yeah, I love dogs,” Mark says earnestly, wondering faintly if Jaehyun could get any more perfect.

“Good, because my dogs love people,” Jaehyun says, popping his door open and stepping out of the car.

Mark follows, glancing over the plants that line Jaehyun’s front walk. Either Jaehyun hires landscapers or he just really likes gardening, but regardless Mark finds himself charmed. He likes the image of Jaehyun planning his yard, his house, his decor.

Jaehyun’s already on the front porch, unlocking the door. Mark can hear excited barking from inside. “Back, guys,” Jaehyun says, amusement rich in his voice. “Inside voices, please. Back. Sit. Princess, sit. Good dogs. Stay. C’mon, Mark, before they run out into the street.”

“Sorry,” Mark says, jogging up the steps, kicking his shoes off quickly and ducking inside right after Jaehyun, closing the door behind him.

Two dogs are sitting right inside, perfectly still except for their tails, which are wagging furiously. “This is Princess Buttercup,” Jaehyun says, gesturing at the big Doberman on the left. “And this is The Dread Pirate Roberts,” he concludes, nodding to the small white ball of fluff on the right.

Mark can’t help it—he busts out laughing as he crouches to greet the dogs, who pop up at Jaehyun’s signal and immediately cover him in kisses. “Dude, I love The Princess Bride,” he says through his laughter.

“Me too,” Jaehyun says, sounding a little sheepish. “I know, it’s silly.”

“Yeah, it’s so silly,” Mark agrees, still laughing. “It’s hilarious, I love it.”

“People usually just call them Princess and Bobby for short,” Jaehyun says. “Okay, guys, give Mark some space. I’ll give you a quick tour.”

Jaehyun leads him into the living room, the dogs trailing after. There are plants in the corners and some kind of diffuser on one of the side tables. The back wall is floor-to-ceiling windows that look out onto a large backyard, which includes a spacious patio and a clean, glittering pool. It’s not super fancy, but it’s neat and tidy. Mark suppresses a shudder at the thought of his own messy apartment. He hopes Jaehyun never asks to come over, because he is not going to be impressed.

Another (larger) part of his brain, however, is losing it over how nice everything is. Jaehyun is rich rich. It’s not a whole bunch of gaudy pieces, either, just the sort of muted air of prestige that means a stupid amount of money is hiding beneath the simple facade.

“Don’t get too intimidated,” Jaehyun says, like he’s reading Mark’s mind. “I’m not this neat on my own. I hire a cleaning service, and they were just here yesterday.”

Mark laughs. “I’m kinda relieved to hear that,” he admits. “I’m… pretty disorganized myself, so…”

Jaehyun grins back at him, and Mark feels a knot of tension release in his back. Money aside, how they got here aside, it’s still Jaehyun. Not some random man Mark met on the internet. Jaehyun. Mark shouldn’t be nervous, he should be excited.

“Anyway,” Jaehyun continues. Again, there’s something in his voice that Mark doesn’t understand. He’s talking quickly and his tone is a little detached, like his mind is elsewhere. “Kitchen is through there, along with my office and a guest room. You can explore later, but I think the main attraction is upstairs.”

Mark kind of wants to just take him on his stupid, beautiful leather couch, but it’s clear Jaehyun has some kind of plan, and he doesn’t want to disrupt it. “Sure,” he says instead. “Show me your bedroom.”

Jaehyun’s bedroom is much like the rest of his house. It’s simple and clean, with not much extra. There’s two pillows on his bed. The sheets are a cold, pale blue, crumpled like Jaehyun made his bed in a rush that morning. There’s a walk-in closet in one corner, door just barely ajar, and another door that Mark assumes leads to the bathroom. The windows are big, curtains open, and from up here, Mark can see just past the short trees that line the boundary of Jaehyun’s yard and into the neighbor’s backyard beyond.

He looks back to find Jaehyun hovering near his bed, and realizes that he seems kind of nervous. Before Mark can try to think of something to say, though, Jaehyun speaks.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asks quietly.

Mark stares at him for a second. “Yes,” he says. “Why… would I not want to?”

“You could have anyone.” There’s a helplessness to the way he says it, and suddenly all the weird shit Mark’s been picking up on all day makes sense.

He steps closer to Jaehyun. Just because he’s older doesn’t mean he doesn’t need reassurance. Maybe it means he needs it even more. Mark gets to make mistakes. He gets to be awkward, clumsy, fallible, because he’s young. Jaehyun probably thinks he can’t, because he’s the older one. But the truth is Mark liked him when he thought he was just an unreasonably hot children’s music teacher, double-checking that he wasn’t letting one of his students get kidnapped.

“Maybe,” he says softly, reaching out and taking one of Jaehyun’s hands. “But I want you.”

“Yeah?” Jaehyun is leaning in.

“Yeah,” Mark breathes. “It’s kind of, um—I wanted you from the first time I saw you, I think. So you don’t have to worry about me.”

“Okay,” Jaehyun agrees. Mark’s already closing his eyes; he feels breath in his cheek, and then Jaehyun is kissing him.

Mark very nearly moans, thankfully catching the noise before it manages to escape, kissing back as soon as he knows what’s happening. Jaehyun’s hands come up to cup Mark’s cheeks, and Mark grabs Jaehyun’s waist to pull him closer, kissing deeper before breaking apart to give them a second to recover.

“Is this okay?” he asks softly, too scared to open his eyes.

“Yes,” Jaehyun replies, knocking his forehead gently against Mark’s.

It’s like something’s unlocked inside of Mark. He’s gotten Jaehyun’s permission, and he’s absolutely going to abuse that privilege. He leans in, kissing Jaehyun again and waiting for him to relax so he can push his tongue past Jaehyun’s teeth, feeling heady satisfaction flood his body when Jaehyun fucking moans, his hands tightening on Mark’s jaw. Mark walks them blindly toward the bed, backing Jaehyun up against it until the mattress makes Jaehyun’s knees fold.

Mark leans over him, anchoring one knee on the mattress next to Jaehyun’s hip, knocking Jaehyun’s knees apart with his other leg so he can get up close. Jaehyun tips his chin up to accommodate this change, hands finding Mark’s chest and ribs instead. Mark cradles the base of Jaehyun’s skull in his palm, dragging his teeth along his bottom lip and finally pulling away. A string of spit spans the space between them before snapping midair, and it should be gross, but Mark swears it just makes him harder.

He brushes some hair off of Jaehyun’s forehead, trying to catch his breath. “Can I fuck you now?” he asks quietly.

“Please,” Jaehyun replies softly.

Mark smiles. He feels kind of insane, actually, but it doesn’t matter because whatever wild light his eyes have taken on only seems to excite Jaehyun. “Yeah?” he says. “Gonna let me fuck you, hyung?”

“Mm-hm,” Jaehyun hums. Mark brushes his hands out of the way so he can pull his t-shirt off, throwing it somewhere behind him, then leans in to kiss Jaehyun again. He sneaks his hands down to fumble with the buttons on Jaehyun’s shirt. Somehow, he undoes them without looking, and Jaehyun shrugs his shirt off without breaking the kiss. Mark swipes it out of the way and steps back to give Jaehyun room to fully clamber up onto the bed.

It takes Mark a second to figure out what he’s looking at. Somehow, he’d always imagined Jaehyun with a soft body—still somewhat lean, but certainly not this. Mark trails his gaze over Jaehyun’s sturdy pecs, his absolute washboard abs.

“Dude,” he stutters. He nearly bites his own tongue trying to get the words out. “What the fuck?”

Jaehyun blinks up at him, innocent confusion making his eyes sparkle prettily. “What?”

“You’re—I didn’t think—fuck, you’re so hot,” Mark manages. His limbs finally unfreeze, and he’s at Jaehyun’s side in an instant, albeit a little clumsily. “Jesus Christ,” he mutters, half to himself, bending over Jaehyun’s body and pressing an almost reverent kiss between his pecs, running a hand down his torso.

And when he looks up, Jaehyun is flushed a pretty pink, which makes Mark’s stupid dick twitch in his pants. “So are you,” Jaehyun points out, and Mark shakes his head.

“Not the same,” he says, crawling on top of him so he can reach everywhere with ease, pushing Jaehyun’s legs apart to make room for his own, grabbing his impossibly small waist and leaning in to lave over his pulse point. “Fuck,” he mumbles into Jaehyun’s skin. His heart is pounding in his chest but he can hardly hear it for the roar of blood rushing in his ears. Jaehyun tangles his fingers in Mark’s hair, sighing, and Mark is almost dizzy with desperation, his kisses haphazardly placed as he makes his way down from Jaehyun’s neck, wet and messy. Without meaning to, he rolls his hips, mindlessly chasing some kind of friction to relieve the tension that’s coiled tight in his belly, and they both moan, Jaehyun arching up to meet him.

“Mark,” Jaehyun whispers, and there’s a sweet tint to it that sends a shock of hot pleasure through Mark’s whole body.

“Lube?” Mark asks, cutting straight to the point because it’s a miracle he’s fighting through the fog of his brain at all. “Condom?” There’s a part of him that doesn’t fucking care. He wants to take Jaehyun right now, raw, using a little spit to get him wet and work him open, fast and rough with his impatience. Honestly, the only thing stopping him is the fear of doing serious damage, but it’s enough to curb his impulses. He satisfies himself by biting a hickey into the soft muscle of Jaehyun’s chest. His hips are still twitching, short, aborted movement, rutting down against Jaehyun’s cock, but Jaehyun doesn’t seem to mind.

“Bedside table, in the drawer,” Jaehyun replies, somehow calm, and it takes Mark a second to convince himself to peel away from him to get them. He finds them easily, the lube rolling forward when he yanks the drawer all the way open. Mark snatches it up, finding a condom in the back, and closes the drawer without looking, eyes already back on Jaehyun.

“Take your pants off,” Mark demands, setting the lube and condom down on the mattress so he can work on the button of his own jeans.

“You’re so eager.” Jaehyun’s tone is mild, but there’s an indulgent, teasing undercurrent to it. Still, he obeys, fingers finding his waistband as he looks Mark over, a fond warmth in his eyes. “You don’t have to rush. I’m not going anywhere, baby.”

And oh, Mark likes that. He likes that a lot. Unfortunately, it has the exact opposite effect than Jaehyun probably intended; instead of being placated, Mark’s desire spikes impossibly higher. “Hyung,” he mumbles, kicking his jeans and underwear off and reaching for Jaehyun’s pants to help pull them away. He swallows roughly as Jaehyun’s cock springs free, hard and glistening at the tip. Somewhere in the back of his brain, he can already hear Johnny laughing at him, and Mark can’t even blame him. He never thought he’d beg a thirty-nine year old man to let him fuck him, but—well. In his defense, the forty-one-year-old in question is the most beautiful person on the planet, and has the prettiest cock Mark has ever seen. “Fuck, I—I know, but I need it. I need you. Please.”

Jaehyun just smiles at him, placid, shifting his legs wider. “I’m right here,” he says lightly, eyes earnest. “What are you waiting for?”

Mark doesn’t have an answer for that, so he pats around for the lube while he gets settled between Jaehyun’s legs. He fumbles with the cap, hands trembling with some mixture of adrenaline and desire as he squeezes a dollop out onto his index finger. He tosses the bottle aside and spreads some of the lube around Jaehyun’s rim before sinking his finger in. Jaehyun gasps quietly, tense at first, but relaxes quickly when Mark dips his head to press a few soft kisses to his hips and waist.

“You know exactly what you’re doing, don’t you?” Jaehyun murmurs.

“I’ve had some practice,” Mark manages, pride bursting in his chest and making him feel dizzy. He keeps his movements gentle despite everything inside him screaming to hurry up, determined to make Jaehyun feel as good as possible. He kisses between Jaehyun’s ribs, then moves up to his chest, tonguing over a nipple when he gets close enough to reach to keep Jaehyun placated while he works his finger in and out.

Jaehyun fucking whimpers, one hand finding Mark’s hair. Mark swirls his tongue in a circle. If his mouth wasn’t busy he knows he wouldn’t be able to contain an absolute shit-eating grin. Jaehyun reacts to him so nicely. It’s kind of cute, and really hot. He’s glad Jaehyun has a house, not an apartment, glad he has a spacious backyard. Fewer neighbors to worry about. Mark wants him sobbing so loud the walls shake. He wants him ruined.

He finally pulls off when Jaehyun begins to squirm, shifting instead to his neck. He lays a row of kisses up the column of Jaehyun’s throat, letting Jaehyun stroke his hair and murmur praise, trying to pretend it has no effect on him.

“You’re so sensitive,” Mark whispers, scraping his teeth against the point of Jaehyun’s jaw.

“I don’t, ah, do this very often.” Mark pushes himself up so he can look at Jaehyun and sees that his ears are the same sweet pink as the blush coloring his cheeks.

“No?” Mark asks. “Then what were you doing on that app?”

Jaehyun flushes deeper pink. “You’re only the second person I’ve met that way. The first was… a while ago.”

A strange flare of jealousy shoots through Mark, hot and poisonous. He tries to shove it down. “Oh, sure,” he says instead, giving Jaehyun a sarcastic look.

“Besides, you were on it, too,” Jaehyun defends.

Mark smiles, leaning in to kiss him. The glide of his finger has grown easy, so he stops to accommodate a second, pushing back in slowly. Jaehyun sighs into his mouth, grip on his hair growing tighter until Mark’s in to the third knuckle and he relaxes back onto the pillows.

Mark breaks the kiss, mind racing as he makes what’s probably an ill-advised decision. “You wanna know why I was on there?” he asks. “Why I was really on there?”

“Not money?” Jaehyun asks breathlessly, curious.

Mark shakes his head. “I downloaded it because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I figured—it would be the easiest way to get something close.” Jaehyun’s eyes widen, and Mark laughs nervously, wondering if he miscalculated. “Guess I got super lucky.”

“Oh,” Jaehyun says softly, his hand sliding down from Mark’s hair to cup his cheek. “So you weren’t even looking for a sugar daddy.” He sounds sort of amused, but there’s a sweetness underneath it.

Mark shakes his head. “I was looking for you,” he says. It comes out a little bit like a plea. I know I’m not supposed to want you. I know it’s strange. But I do, I do.

“I shouldn’t say this,” Jaehyun says, “but that’s hot. You wanted me, baby?” It’s Mark’s turn to blush and squirm now; he nods almost shyly as heat rises up his neck, his cheeks. “No wonder you seem so desperate.”

The only thing that stops Mark from combusting out of embarrassment on the spot is how gentle Jaehyun’s voice is. That, and the way his breath hitches every time Mark thrusts his fingers in—which is what Mark chooses to focus on instead of trying to come up with a reply. He kisses Jaehyun sweetly, curling his fingers as he pulls them back out, and after a few tries he strikes gold. Jaehyun makes a high, broken noise against his lips, hips jerking up almost violently. Mark does it again, kissing him insistently even when Jaehyun goes a little limp. He trembles beneath Mark as he finds a rhythm, petting over Jaehyun’s prostate with every few strokes, dark glee making his head swim.

Jaehyun’s other arm had found its way around Mark’s torso, fingers splayed across the planes of his back. Mark melts into his touch, letting a soft noise of satisfaction slip out with his next exhale.

It comes naturally, somehow. Mark feels like he’s hardly paying attention to what he’s doing, more of his energy invested in kissing Jaehyun than fingering him. He finds himself adding a third finger with barely a thought, like he can just tell when Jaehyun’s ready. He thought he’d be more nervous, maybe, clumsy and unsure, but now that the uncertainty is past, now that he’s in Jaehyun’s bed, now that he knows Jaehyun definitely doesn’t just see him as some stupid kid, it’s easy.

Jaehyun lets him squeeze his pinky in alongside the rest without complaint, lets him lick the backs of his teeth, lets him grip his jaw tight and mean. His hand is still warm on Mark’s back, thumb tracing gentle circles into his skin. Mark’s whole body hums with something he hasn’t felt before and doesn’t quite have the words for. It’s like power, but softer. It’s like peace, but hungrier.

At last, Mark’s fingers glide in and out with ease, so he releases Jaehyun, breaking the kiss and pushing himself back up so he’s sitting on his knees.

“Am I ready?” Jaehyun asks breathlessly, smiling up at Mark.

“I hope so,” Mark replies.

“I’m not gonna break, baby,” Jaehyun says, gentle. “Promise.”

I might, Mark thinks dizzily as he works on the condom. But he just nods. “Okay.”

He rolls the condom on and slicks himself up, doggedly keeping his eyes on his own hands instead of looking at Jaehyun, not sure if he wants to see what Jaehyun looks like when he’s watching him. He walks forward on his knees; Jaehyun spreads his legs wider without Mark asking him too, lifting them up to make room for Mark’s thighs. Mark reaches down, hooking his thumb into Jaehyun’s entrance so he can line himself up.

He pushes in, getting his thumb out of the way in time, slowing down even more when he feels Jaehyun tense up around him. And, oh, the heat of Jaehyun’s body—Mark’s hand flies to Jaehyun’s waist, his fingers digging into the skin as he draws in a sharp breath.

“Mark?” Jaehyun’s voice, so soft, just barely audible over the blood rushing in Mark’s ears.

“Yeah,” Mark says hazily, too embarrassed to try and explain that the reason he froze is because he’s terrified he’s about to come, like, right now. “Just gimme a second.” He takes another breath, hoping and praying that he can hold it together at least a little while longer so that he doesn’t disappoint Jaehyun completely.

He starts moving again, sinking in slow. He’s pretty sure he’s going to leave bruises on Jaehyun’s hip, but Jaehyun hasn’t complained at all. Mark finally looks up, and sees Jaehyun looking back. His cheeks are that same pretty pink, his lips messy with spit from when they were kissing. Mark can see small bruises littering his chest. But Jaehyun’s eyes are clear.

“Feels good?” he asks in that same soft voice.

Mark nods quickly, letting out a short punch of defeated laughter. “Maybe a little too good,” he admits. “I—I’m kinda scared to move. I swear I’m not—usually like this.”

One corner of Jaehyun’s mouth tugs up, revealing a dimple. Not fair, not fair, Mark thinks, almost plaintive. He’s so pretty, and Mark is so fucked. “Take your time,” Jaehyun encourages.

Mark does, pushing in fractions of an inch at a time, closing his eyes in the hopes that this will stop him from getting overwhelmed. The process draws a string of truly embarrassing noises out of him anyway, but at this point it’s the least of his concerns. Jaehyun doesn’t seem to mind, though; he’s reached up to rub circles around the point of Mark’s hip bone, offering a little comfort. At last, Mark bottoms out and releases a long breath.

“Mm,” Jaehyun hums. “Feel so full. Could just stay like this a little, I don’t mind. I like it.”

But Mark shakes his head. “I wanna fuck you, hyung.”

Mark hears the sheets rustling; Jaehyun must have shrugged. “Okay,” he says easily. “Some other time, then.” Mark nods; he would like that, but he kind of feels like he has a job to do, and Jaehyun cockwarming him isn’t gonna cut it.

Jaehyun finally relaxes around him and the suffocating desire ebbs somewhat. Mark blinks his eyes open, drawing his hips back cautiously, watching Jaehyun’s face for signs of discomfort. His heart pounds in his chest, his ears. He can feel the jumping of his pulse in his fingertips. He shifts his weight forward, rolling his hips as he plants a hand on the mattress, lining his body up with Jaehyun’s and dipping his head to mouth at Jaehyun’s pretty neck.

Now that their bodies have adjusted a little, Mark gets bolder, picking up the pace and putting some force behind each thrust, savoring the drag of his cock against Jaehyun’s walls, the way the tip catches on Jaehyun’s rim when he pulls out a little too far. He grabs a fistful of the sheets, knuckles turning white, tense from the exertion.

“Mark, baby,” Jaehyun pants, taking Mark’s jaw in one hand and turning his face so he has no choice but to look him in the eyes. “A little slower,” he says. “Hurts.”

“Fuck, sorry, ‘m so sorry,” Mark mumbles, trying to rein in the jackrabbiting of his hips. “I didn’t—I just—you feel so good, I—”

“It’s okay,” Jaehyun says, and then fucking giggles, and Mark thinks he sees stars, pleasure spiking under his skin and making him shake. How is he so cute? he thinks to himself hazily as he works to find a new rhythm. He’s a middle aged man, and he’s the cutest person I’ve met, maybe ever.

Mark shifts his hips a little on the next thrust in and Jaehyun moans quiet and pretty, grip on Mark’s jaw tightening a little. “Better?” Mark whispers.

“Much better,” Jaehyun replies, almost indulgent. Another thrust; another moan. “Fuck, Mark.” He tips his head back, jaw slack. “Yeah, just like that.” He settles again, finding Mark’s eyes, stroking his thumb over the hollow of Mark’s cheek. “Just like that,” he repeats, quieter. “Good boy.”

“Oh, fuck,” Mark whimpers, screwing his eyes shut and trying not to lose control. “Fuck, hyung, hyung.” He always knew he liked praise—he gets off on making his partner feel good more than feeling good himself, he always has—but it feels different, coming from Jaehyun. He feels dizzy with pride, and almost sick with an anxiety to keep doing well. He feels Jaehyun tugging him closer and goes blindly. He’ll let Jaehyun have whatever he wants.

Jaehyun kisses him sweetly, making soft noises of pleasure, hand still cupping Mark’s cheek. Like he’s something precious. Like he’s something worth holding. Mark kind of wants to die here, because he can’t imagine being happier than this—buried deep in the hottest man on the planet, being kissed by him, being called good boy, baby. He doesn’t think anything has felt quite like this.

The late afternoon sun has found its way into Jaehyun’s bedroom; Mark can feel it on his back. When he pulls back and opens his eyes, Jaehyun’s skin is a pale gold, his eyes warm and full of light.

“So pretty, baby,” Jaehyun says, the syllables broken up by the hitching of his breath.

Mark leans into his touch, turning his head so he can press a kiss to the heel of his palm. “So’re you,” he says, almost slurring. “Can I—can I touch you? Wanna make you feel good.”

“Please,” Jaehyun says.

Mark drops down to one elbow to make it easier to balance, rounding his back to maintain enough room between their bodies that he can reach his other hand down and wrap it around Jaehyun’s cock. He can feel how wet he is, can imagine the precome smeared and glistening on his stomach. He uses some of it to get his palm slick, spreading it down the length of Jaehyun’s cock until each stroke makes a filthy sort of noise. Jaehyun moans shakily as Mark speeds up his hand to match the pace of his hips.

“Such a pretty cock, hyung,” Mark mumbles. “I want it in my mouth next time. I’ll—mm—make you feel so good, you can even fuck my face. I can hold my breath for a really long time, y-you’ll see.”

“Mark,” Jaehyun breathes, pitchy and unstable. “Fuck, yes, want that.”

Mark runs his thumb over Jaehyun’s slit, smiling to himself when it makes Jaehyun give a hoarse cry. “Yeah?” he manages. “You’ll let me?”

“Mmhm, yeah, yes,” Jaehyun stutters. “Oh, fuck, Mark, so good.”

Mark leans closer, pressing his lips to the junction of Jaehyun’s shoulder and his neck, lapping at the skin. He tastes faintly of salt from his sweat; it makes Mark’s head spin. “Close?”

“Yes, yes.” Jaehyun’s hips are twitching, half-thrusting up into Mark’s fist to meet him. “Don’t stop.”

“Good,” Mark whispers, a little relieved. His own arousal is looming at the fringes of his mind, almost an impending threat. He wants to make sure Jaehyun is taken care of before he lets go. He fights to keep the same pace even when all he wants to do is go harder, rougher. But this is what Jaehyun wants, and Mark will give it to him. He nips at Jaehyun’s skin with his front teeth, mostly to ground himself, but Jaehyun moans low and almost guttural. Mark feels something sticky shoot up and hit his stomach, feels it dribbling down his knuckles.

“Ah, ah, Mark, fuck.” Jaehyun’s voice fills the room as he clenches down on Mark’s cock, his chest heaving under Mark’s as another, weaker spurt of come drips down Mark’s hand.

“Jaehyun,” Mark murmurs. His thrusts are no longer even or measured, but it doesn’t matter because he’s coming, too, Jaehyun’s legs wrapped around his waist and Jaehyun’s hand in his hair and Jaehyun’s come coating his fingers and stomach.

They lie quietly as they catch their breath. Mark knows he should pull out and get something to clean them up, but everything seems so far away. His limbs are heavy, his body tired and sated.

“Fuck,” Jaehyun says softly. Mark hums in agreement, which makes Jaehyun huff out laughter. The movement jostles Mark, and he lifts his head.

“I think if I try to move, my body’s gonna fall apart,” he says, and this gets him a full-bellied laugh. “Stop laughing at me, ‘m serious!”

“We can stay here a little longer,” Jaehyun agrees. “But d’you think you can move up a little? So I can kiss you?”

“Oh,” Mark says, already pushing himself up. “Yeah, I think I can manage that.”

They kiss lazily as the minutes tick by. Mark combs his fingers through Jaehyun’s soft hair with his clean hand. He can hardly feel the discomfort of the come drying on his body or the ache settling into his muscles. Jaehyun’s bed is comfortable and safe, the sun bright but not blinding, the air cool on Mark’s skin. In a way, Mark realizes that Johnny was kind of exactly right—Mark did need a good fuck. He’d been working nonstop since school let out at the beginning of the summer, and it’s only now that he realizes why he felt so tense. He’s glad it was with Jaehyun, though, a little giddy now that the post-orgasm glow has set in.

“Okay,” Jaehyun says finally. “Let’s get up.” Mark nods, reluctantly pushing himself up and off Jaehyun, pulling out as gently as he can and rolling to the side so Jaehyun can sit. “Do you still want to stay for dinner?”

“Of course I do,” Mark says.

Jaehyun smiles and Mark fights the urge to kiss him again. “Do you… want to stay the night?” Mark blinks. “You don’t have to,” Jaehyun adds quickly.

“No, I’d like that,” Mark says. “I’d really like that.”

Jaehyun’s pretty smile returns. “Good,” he says, half to himself. “Come on, let’s clean ourselves up and then order some food.” He swings his legs over the edge of the bed and stands; Mark follows him, coming around the foot of the bed as Jaehyun meanders over to the door Mark figured led to a bathroom.

“Jaehyun,” Mark says, reaching out to him.

Jaehyun stops, turning back to look at him, taking the offered hand. “Hm?”

Mark pulls him close and kisses him, a little clumsy, but Jaehyun just giggles again, kissing him back. “I’m glad it was you,” Mark says when they break apart. “On the app. Today.”

“Oh,” Jaehyun says. His cheeks grow rosy again, but he’s smiling. “Me, too. I’m glad it was you, too.”

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