#what the fuck is my problem

[j-esbian]

genuinely at the point where. i know it’s unfair. but i am angry to the point of distraction whenever i read anything, watch anything, play anything, look at anything, listen to anything. i have so many desires and not the faintest idea how to act on it. any skills i once had have degraded because i don’t have any time to do anything and i get jealous and resentful that there are people who can. or else what is wrong with me that i can’t create great art in my 1-2 hours of free time a day. why am i spending most of my life at work, i still can’t support myself, and there’s people who do less than me for more money, so they have time and energy to do things. the creative drought has gone on so long that the well has been filled in. i can’t even get off from work to refill my meds.

#i had to cancel my appointment in october so i knew it was coming and tried to taper but still #i ran out a few days ago which is probably. not helping this mindset #ppl who can go to therapy every week. who can go to the doctor. who can make art #who can exercise and make new friends and go out and have a side job #i envy you so much i want to throw up #and everyone always says the key to building a skill is practice. how are you supposed to practice when you have no ideas #THAT is the advice i’m looking for and no one seems to understand #even shit like critical analysis. everyone is so much more insightful than me #like i write poetry sometimes but i can FEEL how immature it is #and it feels like i’m just. skimming off the top of my thoughts #truly feels like something in my brain is broken and not in a brain fog way #in a blown fuse way #catch me crying in the bathroom at work for the third week in a row ✌️ #and i feel like it just makes me a drag to be around. which exacerbates all of this #i just. don’t have anything going for me. this is all i can think about #and i know it’s frustrating for other people but i just #and there’s people out there who have kids and do more than me so like #what the fuck is my problem #i would just like a break. some time to myself where i don’t have to worry about being too loud and disturbing my mother #the room to stretch my legs

[dinosinthedark]

So I may have fucked up and developed some -feelings-™

Fuckfuckfuck

#Babreham #what the fuck is my problem

[cynical-crypt]

i genuinely couldn't find my own foot for a good 30 seconds just now

#what the fuck is my problem

[rejectofsociety]

tryna make these mfs hate each other, but this shit keeps getting homoerotic

#what the fuck is my problem #why can’t a distinguish hate and lust #“I hate you with every fucking bone in my body #but the thought of losing you terrifies me so much I’d rather die than live to see you go first.” #what is wrong with me

[honeyplath]

last night i had another dream with bruce campbell, i swear it's like the fifth or sixth dream i have where we are together, guys the grip that man has on me is unconcivable, blorbo from my dreams...

#bruce campbell #sometimes he's ash sometimes he's plain old bruce #what the fuck is my problem #ash williams

[aroacedavestrider]

people will hear you talk about struggling with mental illness and say “you can do anything if you just put your mind to it”. brother what part of the body does the mental illness happen in. what do you think is the problem

#neurodivergent #adhd #autism #executive dysfunction #shoutout to my dad lmao. mr ‘just outthink it!’ #fuck! dude i never thought of that #waiiiit wait youre telling me all i have to do to overcome the Problems is put my mind to it #ok lemme consult the mind rq #im back. the mind is what has the Problems #my post #dave speaks

[bottledplants]

im feelnglike a star you cant stop my shine im loving loud nine my heads in the sky im solo riding solo solo

#feeling so ok #(ive been on the brink of a panic attack for the past week i think) #when did i lose the grip i had #grip i thought i had? #need someone to shake me #it wouldnt help but like couldnt hurt to try #what the fuck is my problem #this is the closest ill get to journaling lol sorry

[mamathemeritus]

so anxious avoidant that when i get the slightest vibe you're sick of me, i will just vanish into the night

#what the fuck is my problem

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!" #to being like ''if this is going to give u a panic attack ur fuckken stupid'' #like..... gets me #yeah man. i know im going to be triggered by it . in the old fashioned term. it is GOING to give me a panic attack. it's pretty much certai #and i shouldn't have to tell u about what i have survived for you to be okay with that. #you can just trust that i ALSO don't want me to react to it. i'm not gonna be having a FUN time. #dismissing that bc you think it's stupid.... like is the whole problem. #these sounds are workshopped by entire teams of people to get you to pay attention and move quickly. #they arent meant to be fun and exciting. #OBVIOUSLY it's gonna set ppl off. #but yeah there's something so fuckken demeaning about ppl being like. well that trigger isn't valid bc u haven't undergone X #dude i have ptsd bc i was abused as a child. like plain and simple. the fact im 30 and afraid of the dark tells you how bad it was. #i shouldn't have to ask u for permission to be mentally ill. #the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT. #like how is it any different from when ppl are like ''oh public speaking isn't that scary'' like FOR YOU #for YOU this isn't scary. now if i could fucking eat my own amygdala...

[possiblyawesometmblr]

i'm allowing myself exactly one (1) moment of pure delusion:

jon martin jonah. thanks for your time.

#i know for a fact that this is DEFINITELY a bait #there's no way that's what it stands for #but in case a miracle happens and this is RIGHT #know that i saw it the second i heard it #also if it's true that's so fucking funny #poor freddie's over here like hey the gay people stuck in my system are having problems #can you do something about that colin #tmagp #tmagp spoilers #the magnus protocol

[vixensofdeath]

I destroy myself to make me feel better but in the end I always feel worse.

#bpd stuff #actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd symptoms #mental problems #mentally fucked #actually borderline #borderline blog #bpd problems #bpd struggles #mentally exhausted #whats wrong with me #manic depressive #alone with my thoughts #manic depression #major depressive disorder #bpd #tw depressing stuff #bpd things #bpd thoughts #depressing shit #tw depressing thoughts #depressing quotes #kinda depressing #bpd traits #borderline personality problems #personality disorder #trauma

[flanaganfilm]

man what is your fucking problem i just watched midnight mass for the first time and ive been crying hard enough to crack a rib for the past thirty minutes jesus fucking christ genuinely what the fuck

anyway keep up the good work 👍

If Netflix had released a blu-ray set for Midnight Mass, this is the blurb I'd want on the cover

#midnight mass #what is my fucking problem indeed

[bookwyrminspiration]

every time I think about my gender I get confused so I simply stopped thinking about it. it is not my problem

#gender #gender stuff #genderqueer #voidpunk #sometimes I start to question things and then decide no #too much effort and also don't care #who knows what the fuck's going on it's not my problem

[sowheresmyroom]

Alastor is the funniest bitch in the show for that absolute buck wild song interruption by the way. Calling himself Dad while making the most unhinged, unblinking eye contact will never not make me keel over in laughter. Man snapped, he was so fucking mad for what??

#hazbin #hazbin hotel #alastor #I've watched the song like 30 times now and i CANNOT keep a straight face. #even just thinking about it makes me have to restraint s giggle fit #what the fuck was his problem he just went batshit. straight for the throat #actually pissed off alastor is my favorite thing so far i think. its so funny #fave #episode 5 spoilers