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lotusarchon · 8 days

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hey hey, i would like to ask a question out of curiosity (and im sorry if i sound offensive; im not skilled in the department of wording and communication) the 'mischaracterization' thing; would u tell me more of why u dislike it very much, and give examples of it for better understanding?

Nah dude it's fine, I don't find you offensive one bit. I am surprised with the question but I'll try to word myself as much as I possibly can.

Also, full disclaimer; I am a fanfic writer, and I understand wanting to give a character more/a better personality and backstory, to give more room what the show writers didn't do. I do the same as well; my famous example is Sakura Haruno and giving her more personality than just a girl obsessed with boys. So, I'm aware people may try to give a character better personalities for whatever reason.

BUT.

There's a limit to how much I can take with it, and the LMK fandom really do take it too far. I'm in a bunch of fandoms, and I'm using Jujutsu Kaisen as an example with how writers tend to write Sukuna especially for shipping with OCs/Readers. Do you wanna know why I'm okay with it though, in JJK?

Because they at least know their fave is horrible. I'm not saying the fandom is good, but at least the few I've read from do in fact get the characters right and don't stereotype them, and if they do, they KNOW their faves are pieces of shits. They just don't care and anyways, it's a fanfic. They aren't gonna go bash people for disagreeing with them (from my experience. And if the JJK fandom has it, idc still, they're better than most of y'all here)

In LMK, it's so, so bad. The mischaracterization doesn't just stay as that. It's become the literal fanon vs canon thing because that's what the fans do. In every fanfic, fanart, ANYTHING related to the characters in the fandom, they stereotype and dumb down every single fucking one. I used to read fics and I've had to stop because of how disgusted I am. It's literally just "they would NOT be like that", but ah, god forbid you try to tell that to this fandom, because if you try you're a proshipper, homophobe/transphobe or racist.

I have a good few examples too, but my most popular ones are;

Fanon Wukong: A bad guy that abandoned MK, abused his 'best friend', just a sexy, hot monkey with grr possessive alpha traits. And, oh yeah! He's so stupid, he can't even read because he's just a big guy with ex issues and nothing else.

Fanon Macaque: A victim who was only trying to get his best/boy friend back. He definitely loves MK as a kid and is a better parent than Wukong. Ignore the fact he never once took blame for the trauma he put MK through as well, he's a victim and a little baby/daddy who just wants love. He's completely misunderstood guys.

Fanon MK: Personality? What personality? He's Red Son's and/or Mei little boyfriend who is just a baby obsessed with fucking and can't think of anything else. He's traumatized so, so badly and is just a poor little baby who's only source of comfort is Macaque because Macaque understands him more, definitely. He's dumb or maybe too smart for his own good but that's okay, there's always someone else to help him.

Fanon Tripitaka: An abusive cunt. Need I say more?

Fanon Nezha: Oh dear, guys he's just a grumpy baby guys, he's a grumpy lil baby, definitely not an adult stressed and exhausted, nah. He's a baby.

See where I'm getting at? Nine times out of ten you check a fanfic in this fandom regardless of the pairing or the plot, these are the kind of traits you see in these characters. There's nothing else but them dumbed down to being morons.

Nevermind that Sun Wukong is actually smart and most definitely has trouble reading modern writing, nevermind that Macaque has never owned up to his actions even when he played a part in hurting MK, nevermind that MK isn't just some sex obsessed baby and has problems and is a grown ass adult who needs therapy, nevermind that Tripitaka of all people only dared used the circlet because Wukong was hard to handle, NEVERMIND that Nezha, a centuries old god with different tales around him isn't someone who's just grumpy much less a child and has problems of his own.

Fans just simply won't look past anything but the fanon version of them. You try to explain that Macaque was a bad guy and redemption arc feels rushed and you're a bad person, or who cares he's hot right? You try to explain that Wukong isn't some illiterate asshole and is trying his best to adapt and be there for MK, because you're just a Macaque hater and also who cares, right? He's sexy and he can fuck Macaque, so who cares for personality, right?

Don't get me wrong. I'm used to this shit because again, look at Jujutsu Kaisen. But my god the LMK fans are so fucking annoyed and obsessed, they refuse to even see that these characters are more than just a single personality trait.

And that's just dealing with canon characters alone, don't get me started on how they react to ocs smh.

The LMK fandom is bad, bad. Nuclear level bad, even. It's a toxic wasteland of morons who have never really understood media literacy and instead simply cares for the appearances of how characters look rather than focusing on what makes them who they are.

But again, what good does it even do to complain right? I'm just some guy on the internet completely irked by the lack of braincells this fandom has. The most I can actively do is block the tags related to this fandom and focus on me. If I need fanfics, I'll write my own, that's all.

But, i will say, if there's a day this fandom actually sees characters as more than sex appeal, it's the day I suck a dick. Pardon my language but that's legit the only way I can phrase it as an aroace person. Y'all are so hazardous you make the 2020 MHA fandom look sooooo much better.

It's not a compliment. Be better. You're fans of a children based show, and coming from an author who writes mainly NSFW stuff for LMK on AO3, it's disappointing.

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mxlti-fand0m-imaginess · 9 months

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Insomniac // Tate Langdon

request: not sure if i already requested this butttt could you write tate langdon x reader w insomnia like him js comforting you n holding you in bed as you cry from exhaustion n frustration from not being able to sleep - or som along those lines of reader w insomnia? 💛

prompts: none

summary: no matter what you try, you just can't seem to fall asleep. your boyfriend, tate, tries his best to comfort you.

warnings: not proofread

word count: 512

a/n: i know this is shorter than what i usually write, but i've had some difficulty with motivation so i figured that i would at least try! i'm gonna do my best to write more. even though they might not be as long, i promise i will still put the same amount of effort it!

You groan in frustration as you roll onto your back, staring at the dark ceiling above you. It’s been hours of tossing and turning, hoping that you would eventually drift off to sleep. But the peaceful release of rest and dreams never came. It never does. Night after night you’d lie awake, wishing and praying to fall asleep for even a few minutes. Waiting and waiting for relief from this utter exhaustion that never seemed to come.

Sometimes you were lucky, passing out from exhaustion after trying to fall asleep. You’d wake up in the morning still tired, but at least still able to function. However, with the way things were going tonight, it didn’t look like you were going to fall asleep anytime soon. You were completely drained, needing nothing more than a few hours of sleep. But despite how tired you were, you remained wide awake. And it just made you even more upset.

You sat up, reaching behind you to grab your pillow. Burying your face in it, you let out a frustrated scream. Before you realized it, tears were falling from your eyes. You clutched your pillow to your chest, sobbing in utter frustration and misery. Why were you like this? Why couldn’t you just fall asleep like everyone else did? Why did life feel the need to torture you so?

“Hey, what’s wrong? Why’re you crying?” a gentle voice from beside you said.

You didn’t even need to lift your head to know it was your boyfriend, Tate. You felt the bed dip beside you, a pair of comforting arms wrapping around you. He pulled the pillow out of your grip and you leaned against his chest, holding him tightly.

“Can’t sleep,” your voice muffled from your face being buried in his chest.

He frowned slightly, his hand rubbing your back softly. “Again? I’m sorry baby.”

You cried into his chest, all your pent up emotions spilling out. Tate didn’t mind. He didn’t say anything while you sobbed, just continuing to hold you as you let everything out. Your hands gripped the fabric of his sweater tightly, trying to ground yourself to him.

“Why am I like this? Why can’t I just fall asleep? It’s so easy for everyone else,” you whispered, voice shaking from your tears.

“I don’t know, baby. I just wish I knew how to help you. It hurts me to see you suffer like this,” he replied, still holding you against him.

“You are helping, Tate. Just you being here helps. It makes me feel better. You make me feel better.”

He smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. The two of you sat there in silence, just savoring each other's embrace. Soon, your grip on him loosened and your eyes grew heavy. Tate smiled down at you lovingly. He leaned back, laying down on your bed, pulling you down to rest on his chest, being careful to not move you too much.

Soft snores started emanating from you as you finally found the blissful release of sleep in your boyfriend’s arms.

tags: @jamespotterslover @ahsxual @twinkiemaximoff @1800-fuckbitchesgetmoney @thatspookyagent @shadyspears @amourtentiaa @rottenstyx @tates-radio @hallecarey1 @im-verysad @tatesxthumbring @imaloserbabysowhydontyourailme @evilcr0ne @hocksetters @milly-louise @slut4kaiya @larawrrites

if your user is crossed out, it means i can't tag you!

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secret-sturniolo · 8 months

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under the stars - matt sturniolo

summary - it's y/n and Matt's 1 year anniversary, and she can't wait to see what Matt has planned...

warnings - angsty beginning but a fluffy ending, one kiss

a/n - thank you so much for all the love on my first fic "Hot Tub"! i'm so glad you guys liked it, and i am so excited to keep writing!

When I woke up to my alarm this morning, I felt super groggy, and my first instinct was to hit snooze and go back to sleep. That is, until I remembered what day it was. Matt and I have been dating for one year today! I immediately checked for any messages from Matt, but I didn't see any. That's strange I thought, but I figured he had something planned and he wanted to surprise me, so I didn't think much of it. Instead, I decided to get ready for the day so I would be prepared for when Matt told me what he had planned.

I started with my makeup, doing a simple, natural look like Matt always liked. Then I picked out a baby blue crop top, (Matt's favorite color), a pair of high waisted jeans, and I planned to wear my white Air Force 1's. Then I put on my silver necklace with 2 small hearts intertwined, which had been a gift from Matt for Valentine's Day. When I was done getting ready, I checked my phone again, but still nothing from Matt. I'm not going to lie, I felt my heart sink a little, but I decided to call him. Maybe he's just sleeping still I thought as I clicked on Matt's contact. I let it ring all the way through, but there was no answer. I began to get a little worried, so I decided to text Chris and Nick.

Hey, are you guys with Matt, he's not answering his phone? 1:32pm

I waited for a response, but still nothing. My heart began to sink even deeper, my hands shaky and thoughts racing. How could he forget? Hot tears began to roll down my face as I lost all hope, smearing my freshly done makeup down my cheeks. I decided to stop trying, figuring that he obviously didn't want to talk to me. Feeling heartbroken, I took off my carefully planned outfit and changed into sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt, and crawled back under my blankets. I guess I'm ending up going back to sleep anyways I thought. The tears slowly turned into wracking sobs, until finally I was so exhausted that I could no longer keep my eyes open, and I fell into a deep slumber.

When I awoke, I couldn't immediately tell whether it was morning or night. I rolled over to check my phone, and the time read 8:57pm. I didn't mean to sleep that long I thought, as I began looking at my unread notifications.

hey babe, im so sorry but everything will make sense soon 8:46pm

im picking you up in an hour, wear something cozy :) 8:48pm

I stared at the screen, frozen in place as I re-read the texts. So he didn't forget? I quickly text back okay :) love you and I get out of bed once again to get ready. As I look in the bathroom mirror, I can see that my mascara is no longer on my lashes, but instead smeared around my eyes and cheeks. I gently wipe the old makeup off, but decide to leave my face bare rather than reapply more makeup. I leave my sweatpants on, and swap out my baggy tee for a better fitting hoodie, remembering how Matt told me to dress comfortably. Finally, I put the heart necklace back on, pausing to hold the hearts between the fingers as I wonder what could possibly have taken Matt all day. I remember how Matt thinks I look extra cute with braids in my hair, and I decide to put two dutch braids into my dirty blonde hair. Just as I was finishing up, I heard a knock at my front door, and I immediately knew who it was.

I ran to open the door, and just as I thought, Matt was standing there with a smile on his face, looking as handsome as ever. I jumped into his arms, breathing in the familiar scent of his cologne.

"Matt, I thought you forgot!" I say, slightly exasperated.

"I know, I'm so sorry sweetheart." he says, holding me tighter. "I could never forget this day. I just had to make sure that my plans were perfect for you."

Smirking slightly, I ask him, "What do you have planned?"

"Get in the car, and you'll find out." Matt tells me, grabbing my hand and pulling me out the door.

The ride was about 20 minutes. The whole time, Matt had his left hand on the wheel, and the other was tightly gripping mine, our hands resting on the center console. As the night sky got darker, I admired the stars in the sky. I had always loved them, and I had told Matt multiple times before about my dream of going stargazing one day.

"Matt, look at the stars, aren't they beautiful?" I said, turning to look at him. Matt just giggled in return.

When we reached our destination at the top of a hill, Matt put the car in park and motioned for me to get out and follow him. Once again, he grabbed onto my hand, waiting for me to notice what he had set up. When I saw it, my jaw dropped in awe.

Firstly, Matt had set up a circle of small lanterns, each one giving off just the right amount of light. At the center of the circle, there was a luscious pink blanket big enough for two people, along with two matching pillows at one end of the blanket. At the other end, he had set up a bottle of sparkling juice with two glasses, and an assortment of some of mine and his favorite snacks. It was so perfect, better than I ever could have imagined. All of the stress from earlier in the day melted away, as I turned to look at Matt.

"I hope you like it, I know I upset you earlier but-"

I quickly cut him off with a short, but passionate kiss that said everything that words couldn't.

"Matt, this is perfect! You know I've always wanted to do this!" I buried my head in his shoulder as he laughed and squeezed me back.

"C'mon, let's go lay down." Matt guided us into the circle of light, and we laid side by side, my head on his chest.

"What, am I a better pillow than the one I got you?" he teased.

"The pillow is great, but you're even better." I replied.

As we looked up into the sky, we took turns pointing out the constellations that we could see, just simply being in the moment with each other's company. I couldn't imagine a better way to spend our anniversary, or a more perfect perfect person to spend it with.

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets imagine #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #fluff #angst #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #fanfic #nick sturniolo #imagine #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo imagine

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jellyfiishatr · 1 year

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hellooo! I’m currently hyper fixated on Lackadaisy! So I was wondering if you can do Mordecai x Reader fluff (romantic). Reader is healing Mordecai after a huge fight.

a/n : ofcourse! Im inlove with these Mordecai ones, I've started to become obsessed with him as well 🙌😞

☆☆☆

content : teeth-rottening fluff , romance

content warning : bandaging wounds , hint of angst(if you squint real hard)

• ☆☆☆ •

You wake up to the sound of the door creeking open in the middle of the night. Knowing as to who had broken into your house after a long shift; you give a great big sigh before rubbing the tiredness out of your eyes.

Wobbling into the living room, you look to see a black silhouette. You gasp and jump back even though you knew who it was.

Mordecai gives you a blank stare, with sleepy hooded eyes. Your gaze softens as you notice how exhausted he is.

"Apologies for scaring you like that," he sighs. "I meant to head into the bathroom but my legs were about to give out."

Normally he wouldn't admit such weakness, but with you he knew no judgement would come out of you. He admired that of you.

"It's okay, I didn't mean to jump like that." You respond, "I knew it was you, it's just the sleepiness is all."

You notice as to why he's all worn out, of course this was the usual thing for him.

Mordecai coming home in the middle of the night; you waking up to the sound of the door closing, walking in and jumping to his shadow, and bandaging him up before falling asleep on the couch because it was closer.

This time you wanted to make it to the bed, so you dragged him into the bathroom.

He groans as you sit him down in the tub. You run the warm water, and ready the soap.

Humming, he slowly closes his eyes in comfort as you scrub the back of his head.

"mm..- thank you reader," He gently says. In a hushed tone he goes on to say, "I deeply admire you, and am incredibly inlove with you so."

You chuckle to yourself quietly, it's adorable when he tells you sweet nothings when he's sleepy.

You give him a light kiss on his temple. He smiles, turning over to ask for another.

☆☆☆

After the bath, you help him get dressed into his pj's. Helping pull his arm through the sleeve and pull the back of it down.

Then it's back to the cuts on his face and his elbows, and bruises scattered on his body. He winces when you put pressure on one of the many on his rib.

"Oh mordecai..-" You say trailing off. You gently smooth over his exposed abdomen, slightly embarrassed he pulls down his shirt.

"I know what you're going to do." Telling you as he gets up. "You're going to bandage me up, and drag me to bed," going on.

"Well, actually bring me to bed this time."

Your smile from earlier falters. Why must he be so stubborn, especially after being so open before? Is it that he slowly wakes up after the bath? Or does he just get embarrassed of being affectionate?

Well whatever it was, you wouldn't let it stop you now. You've gotten so far and you weren't gonna fall back asleep anytime soon. Might as well deal with Mordecai's stubborn antics and get him to bed before he tries something.

"Come on," you tell him getting up from where you were. "Let's get to the bed."

"Let's" he says.

When he's sat down, you pull him to stay up. Pushing away the covers so he can't get comfy under the covers.

Him already knowing what you're about to do, he tries to get up once again.

But he can't.

"I knew it." He looks in your direction.

"You're just as exhausted as I am right now." You say with a smug smirk. "Well more than I am of course." smirk faltering a bit.

"Of course, but it doesn't mean I'm gonna sit here and wait for you to finish bandaging me up when I'm just going to get hurt again."

"Oh well, you're just going to have to." Holding him in place, you finally bandage him up.

Lots of grumbling and groaning, and complaining could be heard from him. But you were too exhausted and so out of it to really care.

Kissing each bandaged wound, you finished and got up to put away the supplies.

"Urgh..-" he groans.

"Ah-ah- don't." You stop him from saying anymore. "You know you're thankful I did that."

He mumbles something under his breath, hearing that you ask him what he said.

Mumbling it once again slightly louder, you ask him one final time.

"Thank you for dealing with my stubbornness, I appreciate what you do for me nightly." He finally says aloud.

"I know," kissing his temple one last time before falling asleep.

He chuckles to himself, (how'd I get so lucky..)

Looking at your sleeping figure, he pulls you into him and pulls the covers onto the both of you. Finally getting comfortable, he slowly sinks into the comfort of the sheets and dozes off to sleep with you.

☆☆☆

#lackadaisy x reader #lackadaisy cats #lackadaisy webcomic #lackadaisy mordecai #mordecai x reader #mordecai heller #mordecai heller x reader

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grrw--boy · 1 year

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•Sweat dreams•

Morpheus takes care of his sleepless lover♡ (morpheus x gn!reader)

Prompt: so many things got pilled up so you're unable to sleep properly for the last days, and morpheus decides it has been enough.

Tw: anxiety, trauma(?, fluff, comfort.

Its has been a hell of a month, maybe even a hell of years.

You'd haved never had a peacefull life, but lately life seems harder than ever, days feel longer and even more tiring, that not even the soft carress of my lover seems to erase the frown on my face.

Morpheus, dream, my love, he has always helped me feel normal, calm, wanted. So i cant help but feel guilty of being so distant from him lately, knowing full well he always tries to help me in any way he can.

But i cant really help it, can't i?

Work has been anything but gentle, with the amount of late doing work i have, im almost restless, not really taking breaks ethier.

Morpheus was anxious, scared even, he knew your work was tiring but this looks extreme.

Its been days since he saw you in your dreams before youd woken up a few hours later, and even in your own dreams you looked exhausted with dark eyebags and a marked scowl on your pretty face

So he had enough

Everyone has bad days so he though youll be okay in a few days, but it has been weeks, so he decided to visit you when he finally had time to. As this not only worried your fisical state but your mental state too.

He remebers years ago when youll end breaking down in his arms, telling him how you couldnt go on like this in tears.

He'd never wish to see you so sadly lonely again, it would personaly pain him too much.

So after he had remotily finished his work he was running to see you.

You where comsuded by another work fit at 3 am when you heard a knock to your aparment door, in confusion of who might be visiting, you shouted a wait to the door while stoping your work and rushing to the door*

"Who is it?" You move your hair to look more presentable trough your stress.

"Its me dear,-" at hearing his voice after so much time you open the door without second thougth, not letting him finish his phrase, seeing your certain tall, blue eyed lover.

"-morpheus." He chuckles at your eageress to see him, but quickly noticed your tired look, unsurpsingly.

"My dea-" "morpheus!, what are you doing here?, so late... is everything alright?" Your voice quickly changes to worry while you question the reason of his visit.

"No, no, dear, everything its okay i just..." he sighes before saying "missed you, we havent seen eachother in a few weeks and i have noticed you havent being coming to the dreaming a lot ethier" he finishes while coming inside as you opened the door more for him to come in.

"Yes i- i have been busy lately, im sorry love, i think i didnt realise we havent seen eachothee in that much..."

"Theres nothing to be sorry about my dear, i know you're stressed, i want to help you" he notices the amount of work in your desk "and its quite late too, you need rest, and love. come on to bed now" he holds your arm to the bedroom.

"B-but morpheus! Theres to much to fini-" "no, to bed now, tomorrow youll finish your chores, when you're well rested"

You sigh giving up, as you cant convice the dream lord of anything especially about your care, and because the offer didnt sound so bad.

Morpheus gides you into bed before turning of the lights in the office, going to laid with you and give you your well needed rest. He goes to hold you as you get more comfortable next to him, already feeling sleep taking over you while feeling dream kissing your forehead and rubbing your head as you cuddle with him.

Before you knew it you were magicly falling asleep in your lovers embrace, feeling some beat of calmness in a long time, before hearing some soft whispers of your lover, knowing youll get some enticing dreams tonight

"Sleep well my love, ill see you in a moment".

#x male reader #morpheus x male reader #morpheus x reader #morpheus sandman #the sandman #dream of the endless #dream x male reader #dream x reader #x male reader fluff #this was longer than expected #morpheus x reader comfort #sandman x male reader #gay #fem aligned dni

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borathae · 10 days

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Chapter 20

oh what happened to her parents and cookie? when did the fire happen? it says years but years could 2 to 20 but she feels like someone who wont say 2 years sooo ancient, uk? so im going to guess 5+ years ago to 19 years max wait how old is our baby?

And who is that shadow sitting in the dark? WHOS THAT SHADOW HOLDING ME HOSTAGE IVE BEEN HERE FOR DAYS (stockholm syndrome by 1d)

omg we could have died and become a vampire and yoongi as our sire woah WOW idk if thats hot daddy or literal dad SHIT FREUD WOULD HAVE A FIELD DAY WITH THIS

THERE ARE MORE VAMPIRES IN THOSE TUNNELS/FOREST AREA??

why does yoongi care? is it the caring of an old person who lived life and wants better life for the young ones or some motive? i dont get it

yay 2seok 😭we are hurt again 💀 honestly how do they put up with her? (no hate to her), like where is the mom mode? the i told you so? like why are you such caring besties? also why am i feeling like oc is a character themself and me at the same time??? like i dont want her to be scolded, heck she didnt know shit but i wanna be scolded???

“They didn’t, she is just being dramatic. I fed her my blood before she could die, she’ll heal”, Yoongi answers him dryly. wow so normal, and good news

also rip dogecoin dog

jin i doubt you wanna call him a vermin

I am tired of vampires messing with my brain.” mood

oh somebody crying on ur chest and u cant do anything other than tell them "they are strong and was just a child, was never their fault" you know it does nothing much for them, but some comfort for the night, a little amount of time until the pain and demons are back again, that shit hurts a lot, eat me away but i have to strong and fine for her cuz she deserves it fuck im rambling bye lol

Hoseok was nice enough to carry a TV up to your room and install it on your dresser. he is the man yall 😭😭😭

I don’t want to be the one doing the finishing blow.” .. “How are you so sure?” CUZ U DID THIS TO URSELF INSTEAD OF HURTING HER KOOK, U STILL HATE URSELF, filled with guilt and self loath, it shows ur humanity and the fact that its better you than anyone else heal please, let yourself heal. you did whatever you could, everything is not in your control and hence is not your fault

did jin put hard raisins in the cookies??? i soak them, that way they are chewy in the soft cookies

I feel like a bitch, but fuck it’s getting so exhausting to pretend that their sweet gestures are working.” ... “Because I don’t want to hurt them. They are doing so much for me”.. "I don’t want to hurt them by telling them that what they are doing is working shit.” wow somebody really decided to call me out

“Shit ___, I thought he liked you. Why would he do that to you?” fr, that too he tried to protect with the ring and stuff, what did they do to him?

YES SHE CONNECTED THE DOTS MY SMART BABY I LOVE U I smelled orange blossoms and cedarwood ooh thats what they smell like

Why k-kill me for it? W-what, what did do to them?" changed taehyung and they hated it i guess

If I hadn’t angered them so much or provoked them so much maybe they wouldn’t have hurt me." NO U DIDNT BABY, ITS ALL THEIR FAULT

Jungkook watches you as you blow your nose and wipe your eyes ... you force down a new wave of sobs... you hit your own chest to get rid of the pain. fuck that pain, that hurts a lot

He knows that gesture, he had done it a million times before in his lonely, isolated life. And it rips him apart to see you having to do it too. You should never have had to feel so broken. fuck i feel the same, knowing how much that hurts and never want them to feel, but kook and her are hurt and nothing can change it

its funny that you never feel the same for yourself, you felt that for somebody, now change that somebody to yourself whats so hard about it? too hard

“Did you just use my words against me?” stop he is cute im giggling through runny nose

“You’re cute Kook”, you tell him fondly, pinching his cheek. He lowers his eyes and scrunches his nose up UWUW THEY ARE SO CUTE SHUT UP PLS

YOONGI IS GOING TO TEACH THEM??? FUCK YES

“___ stay away, I’m dangerous again”, he squeaks. u were fine just now

right, we cant change his mind, and she cant change her mind either and taehyung just idk ah

You just never should have chatted up Alpha." true, but im sure joon would get to us somehow and that means tae and jimin too. maybe it will take longer thats all

“You’re finally done withering away?” he asks coldly. how nice

Hoseok scratches the back of his neck, “yeah uhm, that’s fine too.” pls hes trying his best

“sure, I can smell the honesty in your sweat.” Hoseok smells himself, furrowing his brows. hobi baby really believed for a second there lol

I got broken up by my boyfriend in the rudest way possible and almost died. fr

“Hey”, Jungkook says, waving his hand shyly. HE IS UP AGAIN YAY

“I have my methods, trust me.” ok min suga genius jjang jjang man boong boong

“Nothing, I just can’t stand you.” i just know jimin would have said, then sit down

“W-what?” he stutters, looking at Yoongi with big eyes. EXACLTY LOOK AT LIL BABY, U CANT BE RUDE

“let’s go eat Kook, I’ll show you how to hunt animals.” “Really? You can do that?” Jungkook gasps, seeming excited. YES AND IT BEGINS YALL YEEHAW

“I can’t decide if I like this dude or not” fr hobi

“What did you do in your room yesterday?” she danced to itzy, thats all

“I didn’t slip on the pillow, I tried to kick the pillow and slipped on the carpet which resulted in my twisting my ankle and then falling on my tailbone” beautiful, i can totally see it. cuz i did fall similarly once

“Even better, shit I would have loved to see that”, he wheezes. tag urself, im hobi

Jungkook drags himself into the room, plotting down next to you with a loud yawn that exposes the back of his throat to all of you. wow that too in those pink briefs and socks THAT ARE PULLED UP ALL THE WAY worse than what we wear when delivery guy comes

was he that sleepy he didnt smell her? mood cuz thats the type of vampire i would be, sleeping for hours

“Hey ___”, he says, laughing awkwardly. MOM HES SO CUTE FUCK

“Yeah, ha. Hahaha”, he scratches the back of his neck. He is so flustered, you know he is. 100% i just know his neck would be all red

He seems to be proud, watching Jungkook with a fond smile. So he did it on purpose. Make him chuckle with a funny story and lessen the anxiety he feels. He is so sweet sometimes. irl its jin the ice breaker and its soo good uknow??

“Stop talking to him like that!” you speak up. PERIODT UR SCARING THE BABY

“You will not go to your apartment on your own” fr thanks yoongi what joon or jimin is waiting right there???

“It’s decided then”, you say and drag him with you by the collar of his leather jacket, “come now.” AAH TOO HOT FUCK THE ENEMIES TO LOVERS THING

Protection. You think I’ll let you drive without it?”

It squishes your cheeks and hurts your nose as he pulls it down, making you groan. “Jesus, you want to strangle me?” “Sometimes yeah” I LOVE THEM

That’s the problem with Yoongi. You never know if he was joking or being serious. ngl taehyung did that too, in the previous chapters

“My plants, I need to take care of them”, they are prolly dead 💀

“Aaaah that”, you smirk. “Princess seriously, invite me inside.” FUCK SHE IS REALLY TEASING AND TESTING HIS NON-EXISTING PATIENCE thats both hot and funny as fuck, sorry yoongles 😭😭

“I don’t like the fucking games you are playing today, you hear me?” “Yoongi pull your knee away this instant” He pulls away immediately and steps back, fixing the heavy rings on his fingers. what a rude but cute distinguished gentleman

oof what a bad boi “You are such a freaking dick, no wonder you have no friends” shots fired oof

WOW HOLY SHIT JIMIN WAS WAITING THERE LIKE A JOBLESS IDIOT

If he would have been the one to find you….” he trails off, blinking rapidly. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? WHO?? NAMJOON YOU MEAN??

“you are literally such a good person and I fucking hate it.”yup figured that “You made him good. Taehyung, you gave him back his humanity, made him vulnerable, reminded him what happiness feels like and I hate you for doing this to him.” there, asshole said it

I just hate that you are the reason Taehyung hurts.” but its you tho, use 2 braincells for that

“….did you get it?” his voice slowly comes back again, as if you were finally submerging from water, “Save. Him.” bruh, leave his alone for that

OH YOONGI FUCK WHERE WERE YOU, no actually its good u stayed inside, we got some info

damn this was long anyways feelings were feelings, emotional as fuck now

in Sanguis Alpha she is around 23-24 and the thing with Cookie happened when she was around 10 😭

omg we could have died and become a vampire and yoongi as our sire woah WOW idk if thats hot daddy or literal dad SHIT FREUD WOULD HAVE A FIELD DAY WITH THIS

that would actually be so hot nfdnasf 🥵

THERE ARE MORE VAMPIRES IN THOSE TUNNELS/FOREST AREA??

SCARY SHIT LIKE HELLOO

why does yoongi care? is it the caring of an old person who lived life and wants better life for the young ones or some motive? i dont get it

gaah these are the right questions indeed 👀

also rip dogecoin dog

THE DOG DIED??? why would you just drop that so casually noo omfg I'm genuinely so sad right now 😭😭

jin i doubt you wanna call him a vermin

JFAJDSF he gives no fucks and I admire him for that <3

no but I love that she has Hobi to comfort her :( he is such a good person and amazing friend 😭

Hoseok was nice enough to carry a TV up to your room and install it on your dresser. he is the man yall 😭😭😭

him him him him him !!!!!!!

I SOB BECUASE OF HIM HE IS SO 😭😭😭😭

did jin put hard raisins in the cookies??? i soak them, that way they are chewy in the soft cookies

jfjadjf I feel like no matter he would have prepared him, Kookie would have hated them fnadsnf

I feel that, I'm sorry you have to feel this way :(

“Shit ___, I thought he liked you. Why would he do that to you?” fr, that too he tried to protect with the ring and stuff, what did they do to him?

LIKE SERIOUSLY WHAT?????

Why k-kill me for it? W-what, what did do to them?" changed taehyung and they hated it i guess

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh

If I hadn’t angered them so much or provoked them so much maybe they wouldn’t have hurt me." NO U DIDNT BABY, ITS ALL THEIR FAULT

PLEASE SOMEONE HOLD HER

I feel so sad for them please 😭😭😭😭

its funny that you never feel the same for yourself, you felt that for somebody, now change that somebody to yourself whats so hard about it? too hard

YES 100% that's me for real

“Did you just use my words against me?” stop he is cute im giggling through runny nose

hoihihiihihih <3 him <3

YOONGI IS GOING TO TEACH THEM??? FUCK YES

I LOVE THIS ENERGY FNNF

You just never should have chatted up Alpha." true, but im sure joon would get to us somehow and that means tae and jimin too. maybe it will take longer thats all

yes 100% it would have happened regardless, especially because Tae clearly had an interest in her (in whatever way) from the beginning, so it would have definitely happened

“You’re finally done withering away?” he asks coldly. how nice

he is so kind and sweet and loving <33 :)

Hoseok scratches the back of his neck, “yeah uhm, that’s fine too.” pls hes trying his best

he is just a lil pookie :( <3

“sure, I can smell the honesty in your sweat.” Hoseok smells himself, furrowing his brows. hobi baby really believed for a second there lol

“I have my methods, trust me.” ok min suga genius jjang jjang man boong boong

he would probably throw you if you said that to him at this point of the story fjasdjf

“Nothing, I just can’t stand you.” i just know jimin would have said, then sit down

lmaooao I meaaan

“W-what?” he stutters, looking at Yoongi with big eyes. EXACLTY LOOK AT LIL BABY, U CANT BE RUDE

HE JUST A LIDDOL BABY (he is meant to be a dangerous killer)

“let’s go eat Kook, I’ll show you how to hunt animals.” “Really? You can do that?” Jungkook gasps, seeming excited. YES AND IT BEGINS YALL YEEHAW

LETS GOOOO

“Even better, shit I would have loved to see that”, he wheezes. tag urself, im hobi

lmaooaoa me for real

NO BUT HE IS SO CUTE LIKE I NEED HIM

was he that sleepy he didnt smell her? mood cuz thats the type of vampire i would be, sleeping for hours

thiiss or maybe Yoongi's training is starting to work ohohooh

“Hey ___”, he says, laughing awkwardly. MOM HES SO CUTE FUCK

I love him :')

“Yeah, ha. Hahaha”, he scratches the back of his neck. He is so flustered, you know he is. 100% i just know his neck would be all red

yes gaaah I jujst ufcking locve him

yes gosh I miss him </3

“You will not go to your apartment on your own” fr thanks yoongi what joon or jimin is waiting right there???

I love protective Yoongi fnfnf

“It’s decided then”, you say and drag him with you by the collar of his leather jacket, “come now.” AAH TOO HOT FUCK THE ENEMIES TO LOVERS THING

GIRL I FORGOT I WROTE THIS AND LOST MY FUCKING MIND UFKCKCKCKCKKCKC

the meme is me for sanguis Yoongi for fucking real

It squishes your cheeks and hurts your nose as he pulls it down, making you groan. “Jesus, you want to strangle me?” “Sometimes yeah” I LOVE THEM

ngnnfadnfn THEM THEM THEM fuck they were so exiciting

That’s the problem with Yoongi. You never know if he was joking or being serious. ngl taehyung did that too, in the previous chapters

an i oop-

“My plants, I need to take care of them”, they are prolly dead 💀

honestly? 100%

“Aaaah that”, you smirk. “Princess seriously, invite me inside.” FUCK SHE IS REALLY TEASING AND TESTING HIS NON-EXISTING PATIENCE thats both hot and funny as fuck, sorry yoongles 😭😭

FUKCCKKC I LOVE THEM FUCKKC I WANT THEM TO HATE FUC-

he is all like "i may be a cunt but i ain't about that sexual harassment" JAHHAHA

oof what a bad boi “You are such a freaking dick, no wonder you have no friends” shots fired oof

THEY WERE SO MEAN TO EACH OTHER GAAH

WOW HOLY SHIT JIMIN WAS WAITING THERE LIKE A JOBLESS IDIOT

fajdsjfajds

If he would have been the one to find you….” he trails off, blinking rapidly. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? WHO?? NAMJOON YOU MEAN??

whooo does he mean helloo??

I just hate that you are the reason Taehyung hurts.” but its you tho, use 2 braincells for that

no but what if he isn't lying then waht?? hellooo???

OH YOONGI FUCK WHERE WERE YOU, no actually its good u stayed inside, we got some info

HAHAHAH you're like "good thing we almost died"

#asks: sanguis alpha #asks #minusback #tw: long post

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thedisc0spider · 2 months

Text

Anchor.

————————————————————————————————————

Summary: Michael has been stressing a lot lately.

Warnings: there may be mistakes and it might not even be coherent because Im writing this at 3 AM

Fluff

2nd person!

Notes: reader is George Michael’s bio mom and Michaels wife! So fem reader (so sorry). Michaels wife never died!!!

————————————————————————————————————

Michael was under a lot of stress. For him this was nothing too unusual, but it had gotten bad since his dad was put in jail. For the longest time it was only you three (you, him, and your son George Michael) however, with all of this going on there was an abundance of people in your house. it was extremely chaotic all of the time. You and Michael rarely had any time to yourselves, which you of course understood, but recently you could sense it had been getting to Michael. He hadn’t been sleeping a lot and he was always overworking himself.

Michael arrives home from visiting his dad. He had gone after work, so it was now about 8 PM. He looks upset and tired, the first place he goes is the kitchen. You were sitting at the island, reading a magazine. When you hear the door you turned your head to see an exhausted Michael entering the model-home.

“Hey, sweetheart. How was your day?” You ask, but it was more of a formality. Judging by his disheveled demeanor you could guess his answer.

He sighs heavily, as if he’d been holding it in all day, as he rests his hands on the counter. He merely shakes his head and looks at you.

You tilt your head, giving him a sympathetic look. “Yeah?” You walk around the counter, now standing next to him.

“I feel like I’m going crazy. I’m not crazy, right? The way to correctly handle this situation is obvious, is it not?” He asks, more seeking validation than an answer. His voice is still as smooth as it always is while simultaneously raising.

You place a hand on his back, gently caressing his spine as a way of comforting him. He closes his eyes and puts his head down into his arms on the counter. “You’re not crazy, Michael. You’re doing your best. That’s all you can do.” You lean in closer, hovering above him. “I’m so proud of you for doing this for your family. You could’ve easily walked away by now, but you didn’t. That’s commitment.” This is true, the three of you had an opportunity to start fresh somewhere else, but you convinced him to stay and help. “They may not admit it, but without you they’d be lost.”

Michael stands up straight, turning to face you now. He gives you a small, tired smile before placing a gentle kiss on your lips. “Thank you for putting up with this.” He mumbles, looking into your eyes closely. He says this with extreme sincerity and gratitude. The truth is, he had no idea what he would’ve done had you not been there to support him. With every crazy person surrounding him you were like a breath of fresh air every moment he finally got to see you.

You smile, placing a hand on his cheek. “Of course, Michael. I love you.” Your thumb moves softly against his cheek in a comforting manner.

Michael moves his hands to rest on your hips, brushing up and down gently against your sides. “And… I’m sorry I’ve been so busy. I feel like we’ve gotten no alone time recently.” With everything happening with the family, you really haven’t seen each other all that much other than briefly before bed and in the morning. You had never been bitter about this though, sure you missed him but his work and his family were very prominent parts of his life and you’ve always accepted that to be your reality.

You nod, “yeah, we really haven’t.” You think for a moment, searching for a way to ease his mind. “How about this…” you run your fingers through his hair while leaning in close to him as you speak softly. “Let’s pick a weekend, and get away together. Just me and you. No distractions, no kids, no responsibilities.”

Michael hums, closing his eyes as you continue to play with his hair. Just the sound of your voice describing the small getaway is enough to calm him down. “That sounds… perfect actually. You know me so well.” He looks at you with a wide smile, the sweetest and most genuine one you’ve seen from him in awhile.

“I know I do,” you say, shooting him a playful wink. He laughs (score) and kisses the tip of your nose. “But, for now… you need to get some rest.” You posses a more stern look on your face now.

He surrenders, placing his hands in the air. “Alright, alright.” He slowly begins making his way towards the stairs before turning back to you. “You coming, beautiful?” You roll your eyes, laughing as you drag along behind him.

When nothing else in his life in his life makes sense, you’re always there to anchor him back to reality.

————————————————————————————————————

A/n: I’m deeply in love with Michael Bluth and its not even funny, I hate that NO ONE WRITES FOR HIM. But im also kind of glad because I like to gatekeep. I might make this a series??? Who knows.

#michael bluth x reader #Michael bluth #Michael bluth x fem!reader #arrested development #arrested development x reader #mom!reader #wife!reader #Michael bluth x wife!reader #reader x character #reader x son!george Michael

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ciaran · 4 months

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strongly negative criticism of religion under the cut / traumaposting

the idea that religious beliefs and practices should be allowed to exist free of critique, an idea that rests on the concept of "sacredness" which marks certain topics as being exempt from mockery, criticism, and challenge...is very insidious. i can acknowledge that critique is itself does not happen in a vacuum and directing a disproportionate amount of it at, say, muslims at a time when global islamophobia is on the rise is a way of masking islamophobia under other banners (feminist / progressive ones, generally) - that indigenous religious practices have also targeted in this way as a way to proselytize christianity... that still shouldnt allow anything to exist beyond challenge.

there is no amount of marginalisation that entitles you to hold religious views that justify discrimination against other people, at the end of the day. and proselytization/conversion isn't the only vector of harm contained in religious belief, beyond even its effects on the behavior of people who believe. hinduism is the easiest example of what im saying. while indians, as racially marginalized and colonized people on a global scale, experience oppression, many indians also benefit from the caste system, which is an explicitly caste practice that has superseded hinduism and spread to other religions in india. brahminical hinduism does not convert or proselytize, however. it is an inherently exclusionary practice. that is, there is practically no way to "become" brahmin in an official, sanctioned sense. you are either born one or not, as with all castes. the conversion mechanism of hinduism is more accurately an appropriative one; it subsumes other religious traditions and practices into hinduism, and these communities are accorded a place in the caste hierarchy without their consent.

this is why, when people say that people should respect all religions, im inherently suspicious. what is "respect"? i do not believe what you believe. i have no allegiance to the things you hold sacred. nothing is inherently sacred. why should i accede to your beliefs about the world, simply to comfort you? why should i pretend it makes sense or that it's equally valid? what are you demanding respect for? is it something intangible and unknowable, in which case why should i care, or is it something material, in which case your rights entitle you to non-interference (i will defend your right to do as you please, in the same way that i will defend someone's right to do drugs or take hormones or wear what they like), or is it a practice that continues only because it always has, without consideration for what this practice signifies or who it leaves out?

religious people, in my experience w them, tend to be prone to a persistent fragility of thought. not only do they want to believe whatever it is they believe, they also want me to act like this is a sensible thing to believe and act on, and they're highly injured when i won't play along. like no, i don't want to do your rituals so you can pretend that we're homogeneous in our beliefs, so that you are freed from the inconvenience of divergence or critique. i don't want to act like there's a reason more sensible (or, "scientific") for doing these things than tradition, or that tradition is explanation enough. and i don't want to cede to the idea that i am the oppressive element because i don't agree with them, and that their attempts to bring me in line are neutral and even positive (god is totally real, and even if you don't think so you can still be religious :D)

there is no end to these musings. i just find myself often exhausted with religious people, and i have had to spend most of my life subject to their stupid beliefs and stupid whims and their panicked attempts at reinforcing compliance when i object to whatever is going on.

#notes #atheism

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tenkasato · 2 years

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Hi hi😁 im really glad to catch ur requests open. Ten, would it be alright to adk for a comfort fic with Akashi and his insecure fem! best friend in their 20s? Like sure akashi is perfect abd all but with each other they can share their ups and downs as young adults navigating through life. They experience heartaches and breakups and drunk nights and happy moments, victories, failures, anxieties, hilarious moments etc that theyll remember forever. Theyve fought too and made up throughout the years. Theyre both confused with their careers and perosnal lives. Akashis more sure definitely but she doesnt know where shes going. I thinj this has thr potential to br a funny story hahaha. They just sypport one another always! Maybe they end up together in the end or just implied? Lots of fluff please!! Thank u so much. If it's too vague mayve just akashi tirelessly motivating her and believing in her always never once doubting her potential? You can of course tweak all the details to ur liking judt this general vibe is more than okay. Really need this one! (me im confused 20 something lol) thank you so so much this would mean the world to me.

Hi anon! Let me start by saying how much I adore this idea. I was thinking of how I could incorporate the scenes you listed. At first I was thinking of writing headcanons, but I think writing a narrative of Akashi’s POV will allow him to be more expressive. Anyways, without further ado… ^^

Pairings: Akashi Seijuro x bestfriend!reader

Akashi Seijuro knows what your every breath meant.

He watches you furrow your brows, pucker your lips and make a sharp exhale as you scan the list of entrance exam passers on the board. He waits for you to find your name (there, in the middle of the people sharing your surname. He’s seen it minutes ago), and when you finally did, he observes your sigh of relief.

A radiant smile stretches your lips.

“I passed,” you announce, as if he didn’t know yet.

“Of course,” he answers. His voice brims with confidence. If there’s anyone who could put her mind to something she wanted, it was his best friend.

“Come on, I’ll treat you!” you enthuse, hooking an arm around his as you walk away from the crowd.

Your breathe trembles. Excitement zapped in with flavors of anxiety.

Even so, he’s glad you’re going to college with him.

– 0 –

There are times when Akashi wishes you saw yourself with his eyes.

Your hair sits like a worn-out mop on your head. Light make-up smudged at the wrong places. Eyes rimmed with exhaustion, hurt and self-contempt.

“I should’ve know,” you release a long-drawn groan. “I should’ve know he was a good-for-nothing jerk who just wanted me as some sort of a trophy!”

Akashi’s quiet gaze falls on your drink—warm milk, before a smile captures his lips. Who gets drunk on milk anyways?

“Am I not good enough, Sei?” you mewl. Your eyes are huge and watery, begging him to disagree.

He sighs. “I warned you early on that that boy was nothing short of trouble. Did you at least heed my words?”

You wince and lay your head over your folded arms. With another groan, you snuggle to the side of his arm. “I need my best buddy right now. Not a father.”

“And a friend I am,” he says. He thinks it over, and then, “He is blind.”

“What?”

“You are a supremely flawed human being. We all are. Needless to say, you are a definitely a cut above many.”

You hear the tease in his voice, narrow your eyes and huff. “Is that your way of comforting me?”

Akashi remembers the time you lightheartedly prepare a meal for your now ex-boyfriend. He recalls the genuine emotions dancing in your eyes. He hears your hopeful voice, the one that carries a song of future promises.

He wishes you’d see yourself through his eyes.

“No, it’s my way of telling you the truth.”

– 0 –

Akashi thinks you’re like the moon. Meek and fluctuating.

When you were kids, you always shied away from the adults. You preferred to play with him at the garden or in his room.

Whenever he invited you out to one of the family busines dinners, you begrudgingly tagged along. The polite smile on your face never left, but he could see hints of unease in the way you kept close to him.

When with his friends or teammates in Teiko, you’d exchange pleasantries, indulge them in small talks and even spill supposedly embarrassing things about him. He’d feel you stealing glimpses of him as you looked for reassurance.

“I think you’re like the sun, Sei,” you tell him one time, during the heat of an argument he’d rather not have. It was one of those times when you two walk home together in the swell of the night, university work keeping you both out longer than normal.

You’ve stopped on your tracks, and instead, you’re glaring at him.

“Pardon?” he says.

“I said, you’re like the sun. It’s like you’re meant to rule the skies. You’ve got everything figured out. You’ve got your path laid out for you, and all you need to do is walk over it.”

Akashi finally faces you. It’s then that he notices the slight glimmer in your eyes. Tears from you are rare, and that is why seeing them adorning your gaze makes his chest ache.

“I meant no offense,” Akashi explains. “All I am trying to say is that this indecision might deter you from realizing the things you really want.”

“But what can I do about it? I’m not so sure what I want to do. You think shifting courses is easy?”

He shakes his head. “I did not say that. But you need to start making choices that you wouldn’t second think at the last moment and waste valuable time.”

Your eyes flare at the jab. “Someone like you won’t understand what it’s like to be unsure and lost. You’re talented, smart and versatile. On the other hand, I have to work thrice as hard just to get by each day. I bet you’ve never experienced feeling empowered and ready to take the world one second, only to run out of fumes the next moment.”

A choked noise rumbles your throat as you inspire some air.

“And unlike you, I wasn’t born with a silver spoon up my ass! Stop pretending as if you understand me at all!”

The hurt etches itself on his face, you realize too late.

“Ah… Seijuro, I didn't mean to…” you begin, but he walks ahead of you.

“Let’s go home,” he tells you, not wanting to talk further.

The silence of the aftermath kills you, but it also kills him too, knowing that he could’ve told you about how he thinks the moon glows brighter at nights.

– 0 –

Akashi knows he isn’t infallible.

He’s been beaten by you in a game of cards multiple times when you were seven. He’s fallen a flight of stairs once, and just when he thought no one saw, a blast of laughter emanated from you. He’s worn clothes that were 'outrageously heinous’ according to you. He’s made you cry before, many times—sometimes because of the most mundane and pettiest of things such as eating your dessert accidentally, but sometimes because of almost irreparable damages such as when he told you he needed no one else but himself.

It was a lie of course, and you knew it.

So when he went home after Rakuzan’s defeat at the hands of Seirin, you were there, perched on his bed. Glowing with warmth.

“I figured you want to watch movies with me?” you said with a wry smile. You gestured at the cups of hot chocolate by his lamp.

He wasn't perfect. He won't ever be, but he figures that that's okay.

– 0 –

Akashi can tell when you're nervous.

"I'm so nervous, Sei," you verbalize his thoughts out loud, going over the mirror to strip down to your underclothes.

Akashi ducks, keeping his eyes back to his phone. "Will you please change in private?" he asks, peeved.

"What," you stick out your tongue, putting on that long, cream dress. It falls until your ankles. "We used to run around buck naked in the river when we were younger."

"Emphasis on the younger."

You try to pull the back zipper up, but it proves to be challenging given the low level cut of the dress. Instead, you walk towards him with your hand holding the fabric behind your back. With the other hand on your hip, you ask, "Well? Classy enough?"

"They say it's a trick question when a woman asks about how she looks."

"I'm serious," you hiss.

"You look presentable," he gives in, smiling a bit.

You beam at him before turning back towards the mirror. As you pick up a tube of lipstick, Akashi notices the journal sitting atop your desk.

"Hey, thanks for agreeing to this," you say all of the sudden, unknowingly disrupting his train of thoughts. "I just needed someone to be my date for this event. Otherwise, they'll accuse me of wasting a free ticket… that or, they call me unsociable. That's going to make me feel like crap again."

Akashi sighs for the umpteenth time that day, staring down at the yellowing cover and multi-colored marks of your worn-out journal. It’s the notebook he gave you a few years ago. Hands hovering above the worn out notebook, he says, "You need not to feel like crap just because there are scrutinizing eyes watching you."

"You don't get it," you reply. "This is huge for me and my career. If I screw up—"

"You will rise back," he completes the sentence for you. Akashi holds your nervous gaze, then adds, "Adversaries are meant to defeat us until we gain enough strength and means to overcome. Don't be daunted by the possibility of failure.

"Refrain from holding yourself back, and start believing in people when they tell you about how amazing you are in your own rights."

The monumental pause and gawking you give him is enough to make him grin.

Turning away before he sees your eyes glisten, you harrumph, "Always so flowery in your words, Sei. Whatever. Help me pull this zipper up, will you?"

Grin widening, he ambles over to you to do just that.

– 0 –

There are a number of things Akashi constantly wonders about.

For example, he wonders why you always make a fuss about him. You were also like this before. When he lost his mother, you did everything to fill up the gaping hole.

“Hmm, should you use this tie?” you ask, placing the said clothing article over his chest, “or this black one? I think the black one fits you better than this red one, hmm?”

You toss the chosen tie on the chair before he can let a word out. You proceed on rummaging through his closet, muttering under your breath about how rich Akashi is and how having too many clothes to choose from is a bother.

Akashi chuckles and grabs the tie you selected. “Calm down.”

“Calm down?” you repeat, incredulous. “You’re going out on a date! You have to look your absolute best, otherwise you’re going to live down that regret for the rest of your life!”

“An exaggeration,” he remarks. “And to set the record straight, this is hardly the first time I am going out to dinner with someone.”

“Damn right, it's not. But you wouldn't know if you’d actually be dating your soulmate, right? Better make a good impression.”

He wants to argue that he doesn't at all consider it a date. It was a dinner meeting his father set-up, one with the heir of a promising business partner. And still, you frantically run around his room like a madman who is at her wits end.

He looks at your back fondly.

Here you are, young adults venturing out on new chapters of your life—still going hand in hand, inseparable. You have always been there to keep him grounded. And he, in turn, never fails to guide you back when you seem to stray away.

"Please get it right this time," he hears you mumble as you finally emerge from his towering closet. "Your dates never seem to work out, for Pete's sake, Sei. I'm starting to think you're the problem here."

"I just do not like being in a hurry."

"Yeah, sure," you reply, completely unconvinced. "But it is weird. You're like the best, ideal guy out there. No one compares to you!"

You stare down at him as he stares back with a painted gaze. Giving up, you sigh and shake your head, shooting him an affectionate smile as you hand him his gray dress shirt.

"Bachelor of the year, they say. I wonder why the hell you're still single," you laugh.

He wonders too.

And he wonders whether it has anything to do with that saccharine smile of yours.

Taglist: @shakethatsassyass

#akashi seijuro x reader #akashi x reader #akashi seijuurou x reader #akashi seijuro #kuroko no basket #knb fanfic #the basketball which kuroko plays #akashi seijūrō #tenkasato writes

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jayden-killer · 2 years

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WORTHY ON THIS EARTH.

Paring: Steven Grant × Gender neutral! Reader (hints of Jake and Marc).

Warnings: angst, hints of suicidal tendencies, hints of suicide attempts, mentions of bipolar disorder, low self esteem, Steven being a cutie💕

A/N: Hello everyone, just a quick message: this is kinda of a self insert story. I just wanted to vent a little. The thing is: I don't feel worthy, and my thoughts go to me thinking I'm a bit of a useless human. That's how I recently feel. Constantly worrying myself if I'm doing the right thing, if i can be really useful, etc. Im sorry :( If some of you guys don't feel comfortable reading this fic, skip it, your mental health is more important than a piece of story..but, if you keep going, I hope you will enjoy it♡ if so, lemme know in the comments.♡ as always, I excuse myself for any mistakes in this fic, and the rushing at the end, but I was crying my eyes out while writing this.

°~°

They hoped to find a distraction from their thoughts. They were devouring them, little by little. Everything seemed exhausting, needless to say or do. They also considered it was useless to cry or any other outburst that might give comfort. There was nothing that could help them get out of this. They could hear the constant murmur of their thoughts,

"You’re useless"

"You don’t excel at anything"

"Are you doing something good in your life?"

And to this last question, they already knew the answer: absolutely nothing. So if it was useless, what were they still doing there, lying on their boyfriend’s bed, curled up on one side? Their life was supposed to be over for years. And yet they were still there and they kept going.

He hated keeping going on.

—Love? Why aren't you asleep?

They tensed, heading his sweet, yet tired voice. Steven's looks were absolutely astonishing, even though he had some curls sticked on his forehead and some bags under his eyes. He looked like an angel, sent by God or whoever to help them. But they still couldn't understand why, a sweet and beautiful soul like Steven, was with them. He could've had everyone, but he chose them over someone else. It was painful. This was another thing that was eating them alive.

«You shouldn't be with me, Steven. You really shouldn't. I am nothing, but a piece of meat without beauty. Without skills. Without a soul».

—I can't. M'not tired— they lied, havoding his gaze. In fact, they were craving for a good sleep, but their head couldn't shut up for a second.

Steven remained silent for a solid minute. Perhaps he was thinking, perhaps he was discussing with his brothers.

—Love, I know something is up. Tell me— he tried to reach their hand, but they slapped it away. No, you don't deserve to hold my hand. Neither my love.

—___? What is happening? What are you...

—Please— their voice clearly broken, barley a whisper—please, just leave me alone, just leave me alone, one fucking minute...

Steven perfectly understood what was going on. He just make the less noise possibile by turning on his night lamp, carefully sitting onto the bed. He understood his soulmate needed the space they requested. He stayed there, gazing their shaking form, accompanied by sobs. Even If he wasn't saying anything, his presence said a lot more than his words.

I'm here, I won't go anywhere, love. Take your time, then we'll be talk about what's troubling you.

He was about to get up and get a glass of fresh water to them, but when the bed cracked under his weight, (meaning he was about to get up), they turned their red face and puffy eyes to Steven. They whispered: —I didn't mean it. I want you. Please, stay with me, don't leave me, Steven.

—Hey, hey— he rushed, kneeling at their side of the bed, —can I touch your cheeks? Is that OK?—

—No, no, please don't.. please don't touch them...

Steven smiled. —It's okay, love, I wo...

—I meant, yes please, touch me.. I need a hug, I need comfort, I need..

Their words kept going on, but Steven tried to reassure them by brining slowly and carefully his arms around their body. He pet their hair with a gentlest touches, eventually giving pecks to their forehead and sweet nothings above their words.

I'm here, won't hurt you, I will be forever here, love. Its okay, let it out...

When they calmed down enough to keep a steady breathing, Steven took their cheeks between his palms hands and made them look into his chocolate eyes. A comfortable place where their soulmate would always find peace.

—Mind telling me what's bothering you, my love? Only if you can.

They made a breath. Inhale, exhale. They never dared to look away for his eyes, shaking their head slightly. —I... I guess I'm not worthy, Steven. That's what is going on.

Steven furrowed his browns. —Is that a sorta of joke, lovebug?

Of course not, idiota. Stop saying bullshit in a serious moment like this.

Nice move, fella.

—No, sorry— Steven quickly tried to dismiss what he just said, —I said a stupid phrase. I shouldn't...

—Wait, Steven, it is okay. I'm not offended... I.. I'll tell you everything.

Steven put his hand on theirs and just smiled, mentioning that he's listening.

—Okay so... uhm, everything lately seems so fucking sad. Its that...— they inhaled deeply and tried to find the courage to organise their thoughts, —its that I'm so fucking unless, Steven. Im incapable of doing anything. Nobody seems proud of me or my actions and, believe me, I'm trying my hardest to succeed, but it seems that they only want the results. I'm.. I'm so fucking tired. I thought I just needed a sleep, but it's more than that. It's more.

They haven't realised they were crying again, so hard, and Steven didnt wait a moment to hug them again. He couldn't believe their words. He knew they were having a tough time in their life and he tried his best to make their days cheerful, maybe it didn't work at all. But he never gave up.

—I've never been so proud of you, my love. Believe me when I say so. Life is a challenge everyday, and even if you fall ans fall and keep falling, you never surrend. You stand up and try again. And this makes honor to you, y'know that?— They smiled between sobs, —Even Jake and Marc are so proud of you! Jake says that you're the toughest person he's ever met— They laugh a little and Steven laughs too. Their laugh is the most beautiful sound on the earth. He missed hearing it.

—I know this is a hard period for you, but it's okay. You can do it. We can do it.

Pause.

—Never say again you're useless, ___. I don't want to hear those words again escaping from your mouth. Never.

—I'll try my best— they wishpered.

And maybe, maybe this time, they felt worthy on this earth.

#marc spector #marc spector x y/n #marc spector x reader #marc spector x you #marvel imagine #moon knight #moonknight x reader #steven grant x reader #steven grant x y/n #jake lockely x you #jake lockely x reader #jake lockley #steven grant #Spotify

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lucigoose · 2 years

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road trip [laura kearny x gn! reader]

a/n: @tywrites THIS ONE IS FOR YOU !! also holy BALLS i wrote this in like 3 hours ??!!??? god behavior!! im very....... not proud of this piece though i guess that's the karma? like its okay but normally im much more descriptive. maybe it's because it's my first time really posting my writing ANYWHERE but i swear im better at description and plot developing than this. i am just nervous cause i never post on tumblr as a writer am i welcomed with open arms to this community??? hopefully i am cause id die if i wasn't allowed to write...... i hope i do better next time cus this was not my best. also can someone tell me how in the balls to do the read more thing?? ANYWAY REQUESTS WILL OPEN SOON

the ride to hackett’s quarry summer camp was long. incredibly long. the trio had been in the car for what felt like an eternity, mindlessly chatting about topics that were generally exclusive to the kind of boredom someone would feel on the road trip to a summer camp. nothing too special, only small things that would help them feel a bit less bored by the service-less ride. perhaps the lack of service or entertainment would train them for the summer camp experience that was globally known as some ‘relaxing’ two-month break from social media and technology. a cure for addicts, some might say.

laura was in the front seat, staring out at the empty, dark stretch of road that looked like it hadn’t changed in miles. max was the one behind the wheel, driving only according to the phone’s map that shouted an occasional ‘turn left’ or ‘turn right’. [name], meanwhile, was laying sprawled out in the backseat. a pillow was behind their head and their legs were curled up, nearly falling off the side of the carseat. they were almost asleep, eyes heavy and slowly closing to pull them out of consciousness and into la-la land.

when their eyes finally shut, just as they were about to let their fingers slip away from consciousness, their eyes shot open from laura’s sudden voice and the nice, calming music cutting off. “max, how much longer until we get there?” she asked, fully awake unlike the other two in the car. max briefly glanced at her, then put his eyes back on the road. “laura, we’ve gone the whole trip without any, ‘are we there yet?’s and i’d prefer we don't break the record.” he joked. laura rolled her eyes. “max, we were supposed to be there by now. are you positive we’re not l-” she was cut short, instantly scoffing when max’s voice cut through her own. “don’t! say it. laura, we’re fine. we can’t be that far from it, besides, we’re in northkill, right?” he said, giving laura a comforting smile. laura only gave him a suspicious look before sighing and staring out of her window.

the road was really the only thing she had to look at besides thin, creepy looking trees. the road didn’t even really have the yellow lines in the center, and it barely had enough room for two cars to even be going the opposite ways. it gave off the vibes of some dumb horror movie. hell, their scenario at the moment was certainly similar to one of those cheesy slasher movies where the main character doesn’t have enough sense to call 911.

laura was snapped out of her thoughts when [name] made a small grunt from the backseat from stretching. she turned her head more towards them. “you doing okay back there?” she asked innocently, with much less of an attitude than she was giving max. [name] hummed a bit as they finished stretching, then responded to laura’s question. “i’m okay. you guys woke me up, i think.” they said with their words slurring and stringing together with exhaustion. laura narrowed her eyebrows apologetically. “oh, were you trying to sleep? my bad.” she said, roughly nudging max in the side. max whined quietly, then said a dazed little apology. “huh? oh, yeah, sorry.”

[name] smiled and shook their head in response. “don’t be. if max needs to admit we’re l-word right now, then he should.” they said smugly, drawing a laugh out of laura. “right? at least someone here agrees with me.” she responded before shifting her annoyed gaze over to max. max rolled his eyes solemnly before speaking with a glance over to [name] and laura. “you know, if columbus hadn’t gotten himself lost and landed on these golden shores, there’d be no united states of america. bye-bye hotdogs, see you later apple pie.” max explained in some pathetic attempt to redeem his stubbornness. laura raised an eyebrow. “yeah, well, columbus also had no idea he wasn’t in asia. he was just another guy who didn’t wanna admit he was lost.” she teased. [name] piped up from the backseat. “fuck columbus, with all due respect.” they said, clearly not really meaning the ‘respect’ they’d included with their statement. laura nodded. “someone said it.”

the car was back in silence for a few minutes, leaving the trio to their own thoughts again. [name] wasn’t exactly awake, but definitely wasn’t as dizzy and dazed as they were a few minutes ago. they’d adjusted their position so their legs were a bit more comfortable, and so that their pillow wasn’t practically falling off of the seat. without laura or max arguing back and forth, they let their thoughts wander free. their first thought was to imagine what it was really going to be like at hackett’s quarry. curling up in front of fires singing kumbaya, telling ghost stories and eating smores. something like that, right? but with more kids involved. that was the only real part [name] wasn’t exactly stoked about. the kids. but hey, laura and max were doing it, so why wouldn’t they do it, right?.. right. maybe they were just in it for the money.

laura yawned and stretched out her arms, before turning her head to look at [name]’s much more comfortable position. “you’re lucky you have a pillow. and the whole backseat to yourself. i’d give my left leg to curl up in the backseat with a pillow.” she said, and [name] gave her a tired smile. “give me your left leg, then.” they said jokingly, and laura let out a scoff and a chuckle at the same time. “are you saying i should join you back there?” she asked rhetorically, but [name] answered. “yeah, you should.” they jested, and laura smiled at them. “i should.” she almost sounded.. serious. it was hard to tell though, because laura’s jokes were typically sort of unreadable. she reached down to the side of the seat and pulled up on the small lever, causing the seat to recline backwards a little. [name] looked up towards laura, only to see her hand reaching out towards them in some sort of an offering. [name] raised an eyebrow. “..you’re not getting m’ pillow.” they said assumingly, and laura shook her head. “no, hold my hand, dumbass.” she teased but so.. demandingly. [name] laughed airily before stretching their arm out to interlace their fingers with laura’s.

her hand was warm. and very soft. even if the position was awkward, with laura's arm stretched back in an odd sort of way to go behind the seat, and [name] having their arm stretched out a bit too far to reach laura's hand, the warmth of her touch made up for the discomfort. she exhaled slowly and lovingly ran her thumb back and fourth against the back of [name]'s hand, making a comforting pattern of little shapes and circles. she laid her head back against the seat, shutting her eyes temporarily. [name] spoke in a tired sounding voice. "your hand is really warm." they noted, and laura smiled. "yours is really cold." she said matter-of-factly.

the position was bliss. laura wanted to fall asleep like this, to sleep with her fingers interlocked with [name]'s, but the cramp gradually growing in both of their arms stated otherwise. laura was stubborn, though. she held [name]'s hand a bit tighter, taking a deep breath in and out. [name] could've stayed like this forever, just like laura wanted to, but they weren't entirely keen on their arm cramping up. as much as they wanted to bask in laura's comforting touch, with the way she rubbed her thumb lovingly over [name]'s hand, their arm wasn't up to date with the plan. slowly, as to not startle or upset laura, they pulled their hand away and rested their cramped arm by their side, staring up at laura's blonde hair that was highlighted by the moon.

laura hummed. "why'd you pull away?" she asked, rolling her head over a bit and straining her eyes to try and look at [name] as best she could. "my arm was cramping. wasn't yours?" they questioned, and laura nodded. "well, yeah, but i didn't mind." she flashed a smile towards them, before closing her eyes once more to try and get a bit of sleep. her hand felt so empty without [name] holding it, though. sure, she could hold one of max's while he drove with the other, but that was dangerous. and [name] was so much warmer, and sleepier. they could sleep together. but not with one in the front seat and one in the backseat.

laura sat up a bit, using her elbow to prop herself up. "max," she spoke suddenly. "can you pull over for a second?" laura requested, making max glance at her with a confused expression. "..why? is something wrong?" he asked, hesitating. laura shook her head. "no. i just wanna do something. it'll only take, like, a couple seconds. then we can get back on the road." she explained, and max thought about it for a second. [name] sat up. "laura, are you doing what i think you're doing?" they questioned suspiciously, and laura shrugged. "i might be." she said vaguely. [name] laughed. "laura it's not gonna-"

but in no time, max had already pulled the car over.

"just hurry up, laura." he pushed. "it could be dangerous." laura was already undoing her seat belt, and unlocking her car door. "i know." she said dismissively before getting up and out of the car. laura shut the door to the car and stretched out her legs, groaning a bit as she did so. she took a few steps towards the backseat, but she could've... sworn she saw something. she turned to look at the darkness within the trees, her eyes scanning over each space with curiosity and suspicion. her eyes flashed over a flutter of movement that seemed to disappear in an instant. what was that? it was too fast to have been a bear, which was common in these parts. but it seemed too tall to really be something like a fox. her thoughts were interrupted by loud, sharp sounding knocking against the window behind her. she jumped a little and turned around to see [name] getting her attention and motioning for her to open the door. when she opened it, she was greeted by [name]'s pleasant voice. "what were you looking at? everything alright?" they asked, and laura glanced behind her before nodding. "just.. thought i saw something move. anyway, scoot over." she demanded, and [name] obliged although retorted a bit. "laura, this is never gonna work." they insisted, but laura got in the backseat regardless.

laura sat down and slammed the car door, not really bothering for a seat belt. [name] clutched their pillow and blanket, letting laura move around a bit. "so can i just.. not lay down anymore? is that privilege taken from me?" they asked, and laura laughed a little. "just wait a second." she reassured, moving her body around to be a bit more comfortable. she was sort of diagonal, sitting in a comfortable position but still sitting up. without any explanation, she pat her lap. [name] stared at her blankly for a moment. laura explained. "ill be your pillow. lay in my lap." [name] smiled warmly at her explanation. "really?" they said, almost annoyed but not necessarily denying the idea. they sort of threw their pillow at laura, before laying their head down so that laura's thigh pressed against the back of their neck and the little dip between her thighs served as a comfortable pillow for [name]. laura smiled down at them and stuffed the pillow behind her while [name] got more comfortable. max turned back to look at them with a sweet smile. "we ready to roll, campers?" he asked dorkily, and laura nodded with a laugh. "yeah." she said simply, and max grinned before getting the car back onto the road.

laura cupped [name's] face with her hand, gentle and loving and so very careful. she absent-mindedly played with [name]'s gorgeous hair, twirling it around in little spirals as they shut their eyes. the light in the back of the car finally shut back off again, making the two relatively unable to see eachother. but they didn't need to see eachother. for laura, feeling [name]'s heartbeat calm and slow beneath her and having her hand near them was enough. [name] reached one of their hands up in an offering position, the same one laura had used on them minutes before. laura intertwined her free hand with theirs, the position being so much more comfortable than it was before. no more arm cramps for them.

[name] shut their eyes comepletely. "night, laura." they mumbled softly, and laura's eyelids drooped a bit deeper before she mumbled back. "goodnight, [name]. sleep well."

maybe this road trip wasn't all that bad. maybe being lost wouldn't be so horrible. maybe the kids wouldn't be godawful. maybe, just maybe, hackett's quarry would be pretty enjoyable for these two months.

maybe. just maybe.

#laura kearney #max brinly #x reader #the quarry x reader #the quarry x you #the quarry #help

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kinktae · 2 years

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the fact that you will bring up mental illness as your defence but still not try to understand other writers problem is so sad rosie . your readers also read other peoples (at least i do] so i am upset you only think about yourself like this .

u know what FUCK IT this shit is not happening twice to me. do not read if u don't want angry rose!! and if ur anon? please just leave. me. alone.

in 2019 i got attacked like fucking crazy and when I shared how much it affected me bc i have problems with anxiety specific pertaining to my safety (since i was getting fucking dox threats) and a fucking mutual of mine made a vague post saying i was "guilt-tripping ppl with my mental illness." and guess what the fuck ur doing to me now!!! doing the same shit to me!!! do u know how damaging that was for me? someone who already does not open up to anyone??? to be told i cant open up to my readers on MY blog??? this was some real world shit okay. i deadass went to therapy. I'm talking about this affecting my REAL LIFE okay not just some blog on tumblr dot com. I paid real money to fix a real problem that this shit hellsite created for me. How fucking stupid is that!!!!!!!!!!

to this day i struggle feeling like I can't fucking talk about my mental illness bc ppl would think i was using it as a weapon. my anxiety got so bad that to had to drop out of fucking college. even now when smthn is wrong and my loved ones are in person asking me whats wrong i feel my throat close up like i shouldn't speak. i have to FORCE the words out of my throat. This isn't me blaming tumblr for my mental illness. IM responsible for my mental illness. so I've learned to set boundaries.

You don't like how i do my tags? fine. unfollow. block. i genuinely wish u the best of luck. genuinely. i mean that with all of my person. But i will not. WILL NOT. be told that i cant talk about my mental illness?? I AM MENTALLY ILL. ITS NOT A TITLE IF IT AFFECTS HOW I LIVE MY DAY-TO-DAY ITS APART OF ME TF???? what the hell does insulting me in my inbox calling me all sorts of names and sending fucking asks talking shit to other authors have to do with community? fuck that. If that's what this community does, then I'm not a part of it. if i am telling u that i cant handle this conversation nor give u the result u are wanting and nothing productive will come out of it its bc i am setting boundaries and respecting ur time. this sooooo vile i don't even have the fucking words. ill be honest ill have to go back to see what i posted bc i did act on emotion and just rambled but i don't remember dropping "i use tags how i want bc I'm mentally ill!!" anywhere.

All i ever want to do is write. I love bts. I love writing. it is my one true love in this world and sharing it with my readers has given me more than I could ever explain. They are my everything. You guys are my everything. And I'm sorry this app has robbed me of feeling comfortable to talk to you guys about everything.

From now on im won't be answering anything that isn't pertaining to my fics or bts. I'm sorry but when this is just ridiculous. I won't have my happiness and sanity destroyed by this app anymore. This has exhausted me. There's a reason I will never make anymore friends on this app. There's a reason I don't answer pms anymore. Because my best wont be good enough for some ppl and i don't know how to healthy cope with that because GASP!!! IM MENTALLY ILLLLLLLL!!! So the only solution is to no longer engage. I'm done. I'm moving forward from here on out. The tags stay. Anything outside the realm of this blog doesn't exist. Just gonna post my once a year silly little fic and move the fuck on. toodaloo!

#ask #tw vent #tw mental health #deleting literally every ask relating to this so don't waste ur breath anon #this is long as fuck post fair warning

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whorewithagodcomplex · 1 year

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sweetheart,

i love ya, but I'm not doing that for the rest of my life, no sir,

everyone knows not to marry into that, and its kinda common sense not to date someone with your type of addiction and just walk away, like we all know its never gonna work if youre constantly making your partner feel like shit because youre always lusting of the things you so desperately want, and yeah you may say that 'your're better, real, youre my love theyre just pictures, theyre just videos, ect) but we all know you wish it was them you could have when your gazing longingly and thirstly at those pictures, you create relationships with all these women, i just happen to be in person version added to the collection, its nasty, and its horrible knowing this will likely never change, cause its 'not that bad' its 'a comfort thing' 'i was alone for so long' and i have to live feeling like im always competing with them, i cant escape them, im so fucking tired of being paranoid that the person i love is going to always be looking at something more appealing, its awful, that constant pit in your stomach everytime hes lookin at a female character a little too closely, or when the girls are everywhere for him, camera roll, most social media, even his wallpapers on all devices, sure theres a photo of you two, sure as a homescreen but its really just a sunset photo and we're hidden in a low corner hidden by apps, and the never paying that close attention to you, you learn as much as you can about him listen to every word he says but doesnt care to know about you, with the exception of major plot points he knows nothing about what you like and why you like it, its either you rarely get a chance to speak, or youre perpetually cut off, or just simply ignored when speaking about yourself, but, he knows everything they say, knows every little detail, their backstories are phenominal and look how hot they are, he wont really say that to you anymore youve shown you dislike, but you know, you always know, so you try your best to be pretty and good enough to be wanted like he wants them, but you never get wanted like that, to be fair you never did, this was the first time someone is showing they love you and want you, but of course if i wasnt wantable before him what makes me wantable now? yknow all his needs are met by them and his ablilty to do so much with them that he feels no need to pay any mind to you beyond the physical and guidance, yeah he loves you, you know that hes shown that, but is it worth the mental and emotional exhaustion it takes to fight for a normal relationship? one where we both feel happy? i know theres no way he isnt miserable too, the contant bickering the anxiety of fucking up, but c'mon man, if you cope properly, like by speaking (without lashing out) to someone when things are too much, not falling further into an obsessive chemical pick-me-up addiction and honestly this sex obsession, youd do so much better, but you wont because its one of them hidden addictions that no one but your friends and people youre close to know about, by your choice, and you think that means its totally fine, because I'll stick around regardless right? cause i have this long and im making life plans with you and i love you more than youll ever know and as long as i dont see it' or notice it its fine, it wont kill me, youll keep going until im about to cut my losses and you promise and youll try you really will, but itll creep back and we'll be back at square one, or youll get better at hiding it from me, youre already pretty good at it now, ill bet money that if i got 3 hours and all your passwords id find cia sized files everywhere and id puke and cry myself to sleep for months, and i know youll only get better at it, and i dont want to be paranoid that your girls are still around my whole life, what kind of example am i setting for my daughters if i just let myself live like that, god id kill my son-in-law if he made her feel like that, honestly id kill him for most of the things youve done, so why am i letting it happen to me???

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euph0ric-adventures · 1 year

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24032023; 0100

Its been a long while.. There’s been so much that has been going on in my life the past year. It’s been the worst and I feel like Im at the worst point in my entire life. Maybe not fully

Words are so impactful and powerful, but words at the same time can make or break a situation - when people take it out of context or perspective, when they see their arguments, issues and problems to be bigger than anything. The fear of leaving the comfort zone, or the fear of simply accepting that you messed up and you need to find a solution or accept help from someone else. It’s painful and difficult - I understand and empathise. Actions on the other hand speak louder than words, but what happens when these same actions are misinterpreted or misunderstood. A simple good action could be denoted as an action of harm, resentment or backlash.

It’s a difficult and painful world we live in - where each and everyone of us are fighting our very own demons, struggling to barely stay afloat or even worst make it past to another day. It’s tiring and exhausting. We fear of being judged or being a burden to another person. But what good will it bring if all we do is feel and not attempt to act accordingly to better the situation.

I’d be lying if I said I was taking everyday with stride. I should be grateful and blessed for everyday that I get to wake up, where I get to go to a job that I still have and enjoy despite it’s pains, where I have food and the financial capability to treat myself to a good cup of coffee everyday. Cos some people leave in their sleep, some get laid off cos of the current economy, some people don’t even have enough to eat a decent lunch. . Yet if I was called to go - as in die. I will leave everything and everyone in a heart beat. Cos I am tired, and despite being thankful for everyday that I have - I feel like I’m struggling to be happy, to be content, to be at peace. I am tired and I’m worried I will give up one day.

I’m a fighter, I fight so passionately for what I feel and want. But this same fighter is afraid that - one day I will just drop my shoulders and not care anymore, than any discomfort in life will affect me no more.

I’m always expected to understand and give way and be more accepting of the situation. To see it from their point of view and understand their struggles. But isit selfish of me to ask the same? I do - without fail, every time see it from the other persons point of view, see how and why they may feel or act or say certain things. I mould myself to better fit to them or their mood or situation, so that they will not feel the extra anxiety or burden. I understand, or at least I feel I really try to.

But is it wrong - wrong to feel understood and needed? To feel like I deserve more? Isit selfish of me to think that?

I’m tired - and honestly, I really want to give up. I know I was heading towards a downward spiral - hence I really got myself checked into therapy. Has it been helpful? Yes - but isit making me a better person? IDK really.. It takes 2 hands to clap, it’s stupid to hold up one hand and not be met with the other hand - Im just left hanging. I will hold up this hand until the other hand meets mine, but all I can hope for is that my hand will not get tired as much as my heart and body is.

Nothing hurts more than hearing the other person say they feel bad that they dragged you into something dark and bad with the full intention of knowing what they are doing - without being met with a solution.

But I guess that’s the mystery of life - pain and suffering and how we learn to morph ourselves to better handle situations instead of expecting the other party.

Cos why try to change others who are set in their ways and habits and thoughts when you can change your perspective on things - the danger of it - not being able to feel anything in the long run - being immune and numb and actually saying well “ it is what it is”. . .

#pain

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courtofmatchups · 8 months

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This is such a good idea omg!! May I get a Match Up?

My Name is Maia and i go by she/her! Im about 5"4 which is pretty ordinary id say. I have green eyes and dye my hair alot as a form of self expression! I'm very artistic and draw or paint alot. I also write! I own 2 cats which tend to sleep on me or in my bed when I sleep. I think my friends would say I'm pretty energetic but I know when to stop kinda?? 🤷‍♀️ Theres nothing that I love more than making others feel safe and guarded. I also enjoy dancing, baking, cooking and singing! I also very much enjoy gardening and caring for plants or animals. I am an ENTP, meaning im really extroverted but I still have times in which I just want to sit back and let others do the talk. I get exhausted from public situations sometimes. I absolutely hate rude people, like the ones that are rude without a reason. I could break their bose each time someone talks to me or my friends like that. M favorite thing about myself is that I know how to communicate. It was hard acquiring that, since I have some childhood trauma in the bag. Meaning I start tearing up whenever someone I love might start talking to me in a pissed way or in a way that tells me were arguing because i usually avoid arguments within family or with loved ones. I tend to look out for others alot and i try to balance that by doing self care every now and then! I also value my sleep alot but sometimes I catch myself reading until late at night. I can be very crackheaded when with people I love but only if I feel extremely comfortable with them. When In a bad mood, I can get very snappy but that rarely happens because of me not wanting to gurt the people im around. I also enjoy the sun alot but I rarely go out. I just sit at my desk, starring at my phone like:

"Someone please.. Someone please call me and ask me to do something!"

So im not someone who initiates that by herself. I am definetly really touch starved and cuddling with people helps me relax alot. Sometimes, I tend to bite them. Idk why bro the urge is just there?? I love going shopping and treating myself more than anything but I have pretty faked self confidence. I try to keep it up around people but sometimes its just hard to not be self conscious about everything you do or how you look. I also have major back problems due to the size of my chest and the weight it puts onto my back💀 My favorite colors are pink and light blue or pastels! I either dress very romantically or like a full on lingerie model no inbetween. I also really value it when people communicate their emotions to me and I love helping them learn how to since it's really important!

Have a nice day and drink enough <3

It seems to me you've captured the heart of...

The Clement Prince

Aquia Avari!

(A/N sorry this took so long. Uni was kicking my ass 💀)

If there is one thing this sweet, soft-spoken man loves about you, it's your energy, and how you express yourself. And the fact that you know when to reign it in makes you all the more appealing to him. And when he learns that you're artistic, you have a green thumb, and the fact that you love animals, the ball just starts to roll. Your relationship starts with the two of you bonding over your love for gardening. And once he feels like he can trust you (trust me, with your personality, that won't take long), he's gonna invite you over to his secret balcony. He loves to listen to you talk about your interests, and he also appreciates that you like to hear him talk about his. What's this? You're protective too?

"How is this person so... Wonderful??" - Aquia Avari

Aquia does his best not to overstep any boundaries, and if he does, he'd appreciate it when you tell him about it. He knows just as well as you do that communication is important in any relationship. If you ever bring up your childhood trauma, he can't help but feel sorry for you, but also proud. It takes a lot of strength to grow around it, and don't even get me started on practicing not taking any shit from others.

Cuddles! Aquia would absolutely love cuddles with you. You may take him by surprise if you do nibble on him, but when you tell him that's just a way you like to show affection, he can't help but feel all warm and fuzzy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A long day of lectures had come to a close, and Aquia walked with you to his balcony. His plants look a little dehydrated, but it's nothing some water cannot fix. You offered to help him water them. He taught you the proper watering techniques for his plants (let's be real, most of these plants don't even exist on Earth). Meanwhile Mel and your two cats are playing (assuming hamsters aren't part of their diet)

A: "Ah, I just remembered! Maia, I aquired some Avarian Ale. Shall we have a drink?"

M: "Awesome! What's the occasion?"

A: "It's nothing in particular. I just wanted to share a drink with you. That's what paramours do, is it not?"

M: "You're not wrong there, hehe"

After a few drinks, the two of you sat there talking to each other, enjoying each others company. At one point, you asked Aquia to hold still, as you wanted to draw him. You've drawn him a few times before, but the surge of pure joy he gets when you draw him never dies down. You finished the sketch about an hour later, and presented it to him. Was he always this handsome to you? He couldn't help but preen a little.

Neither of you realized how late it got. Aquia noticed you were shivering a little from the cold so he draped his jacket over you and led you inside. He asked you if you wanted to cuddle as you entered the building.

M: "I thought you'd never ask"

Aquia led you to the sofa with his arm around your waist. He wrapped his other arm around you and pulled you closer. And you happily nuzzled into him, and gave him some nibbles on his cheek. And there you stayed, eventually falling asleep in each other's embrace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#court of darkness #court of darkness x reader #court of darkness matchups #otome #makai nightmare #court of matchups #aquia avari #aquia avari x reader #this was a bit longer than i intended #but i had fun writing this

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