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saintheartwing · 2 months

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Invader Zim: The Terror of the Pies!

THE TERROR OF THE PIES!

"Hello. I'm Michael White." White says, waving at you all. "Once again I welcome you to a viewing of a show entirely dedicated to the downfall of Civilization as we know it!"

"He of course refers to MY show." Zim says, standing next to White, grinning happily.

"Yeah, well you ain't gonna remember any of this. We're breaking the fourth wall and once the show starts, you'll be your usual, incompetent self!" White laughs, smacking him over the head.

"OW! Do not touch me with your FILTHY Halfling hands!" Zim snaps, hissing at him.

"Right, right. Now there's been a lot of talk about whether or not the people in this show are evil. Now, lots of people are BAD, I guess. Zim's bad. But unlike him, he could never hope to be as chaotically neutral as I am. You see folks, he's what we call "Incompetent Lawful Evil"."

"Right." Zim says, smiling and closing his eyes as he nods. Then his eyes shoot open and he wheels on White. "HEEEEYYY!"

"Dib's not evil either. Actually Zim and Dib both see themselves as just doing a job that has to be done, a job nobody else can do...the job of protecting Earth and INVADING it. They're "good guys" on different sides. Gaz though, is a heroic sociopath, but she's not really EVIL either. Red and Purple, I'm not too sure about…they're kind of…dumb…so I'm gonna hafta do some research." White shrugs. "But enough talk of such a stupid and warmongering race! On with the show!"

"STUPID?!"

…

…it was the 2nd year since Tenn's disastrous attempt to wage war against the Meekrob. War waged over the surface of the planet and Tallest Red and Purple had directed their armada and their main army forces there to fight the Meekrob threat. The whole area was divided up between the Resisty-supported Meekrob and the Irken army, though the Irkens didn't control nearly as much of the planet as they wanted, and their Armada was BARELY holding up against the Resisty's crippling cannon fire, leaving an Orbital Sweep simply out of the question! The coastal outposts were deserted…except for people. In fact, despite the threat of invasion and the CONSTANT blackouts, the Tallest and Erin still took their evening constitutionals.

"Ahh, hat a nice evening, don'tcha think, Red?" Tallest Red laughed as he walked along the cliffs that overlooked the ocean near their main ocean lab where Erin was doing deep-sea-research on a way to sneak over to Meekrob bases via the sea. To ensure his beloved's security, Invader Darth had been called in from his "vacation" (nudge-nudge-wink-wink) to look after Erin and he had instantly taken to her kind and sweet attitude.

"Hey, Pur…could you hold my elephant gun?" Purple asked. He was doing some part-time lab work at the lab with Erin and getting to know her better. Grinning, he held up a gun for his buddy to hold onto.

"I don't know WHY you brought it here, you can't shoot elephants here on Meekrob, you know!" Tallest Red told him, putting one hand on his hips while raising a claw in the air.

"Why the hell not?!" Purple snapped, looking irritated.

"For ONE, they're out of season!" Red explained.

"Wait…so I'm gonna hafta eat Meekrobian pelican for dinner again?" Purple moaned. "They're ALL mouth!"

"I'm afraid that's just the way it is!" Red said sadly, shrugging.

"Then I'll risk it. I'll shoot an elephant out of season!" Purple muttered, grabbing the gun out of Red's hands and heading off in a huff.

Those of you who have been paying close attention as to WHERE this story takes place will of course, realize that Red and Purple are talking absolute rubbish! There are no elephants in Meekrob. There ARE plenty of them in Foodcourtia though, northwest of a line drawn between two points, thus making it the shortest distance!

"Darn you, Nick…well, if that's how it is I can't shoot any! I've got a restraining order from Sizz-Lorr!"

"Why?" Red asked.

"He doesn't allow PDAs in his shop." Red mumbled.

"And I'm banned too. I went into the ladies room." The blind-eyed Darth added sadly.

"Now I'm sure it was an accident-"

"I went in there FIVE TIMES." Darth mumbled, hanging his head.

"It beats what White did." Purple remarked.

"Yeah, what I did to Trenton is the reason why the phrase "This used to be a nice place to live" was invented." White remarked, jabbing his thumb at his chest proudly as he popped up and grinned.

FWIP!

White frowned, looking around. "Did you just hear that?"

"Hear what?" Purple inquired as they headed off to the left, going towards the lab.

"Sounded like a…gas door slamming…" White mumbled. "But who would be walking around with a gas oven?"

"Betty Crocker?" Erin mused, laughing. It was getting darker and darker out…and it was rather hard for all them to see, actually. Save for Darth, who was blind.

"BESIDES her!" White asked.

TWHOOSH!

SPLAT!

" Oooooooooooohohohohohohohohohohoh yeuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Erin hollered, hitting the ground as most of the others kept on walking forward, not realizing what had happened.

"If you're trying to do an elephant call, you're not doing it from the throat right!-" Red began, turning around…and he saw in horror that Erin was on the ground.

"Oh my GOD, what hit me!? Call the guards or the cops or something!" She shouted.

Red nodded, looking around. "HELP! HELP! POLICE! GUAAARDS!" He cried out.

A few moments later Skoodge whistled, getting their attention. White saw his son approaching and blinked. "Skoodge!? what are you doing here?"

"Tenn's been very moody and stuff lately..." Skoodge admitted. "So I thought some time off from her would be good. What's the problem, My Tallest?"

"I was struck down from behind!" Erin moaned, holding her head.

"What with?"

"I don't know, I can't see, and I think my back's been bruised!" Erin complained.

"What FIEND would dare hurt my lady?!" Darth hissed angrily, his eyes glowing for a moment.

"I can't see ANYTHING in this lack of light!" Red admitted, squinting his eyes.

"So strike a match!" Erin begged .

"We have RULES." Red said. "We're in a blackout currently, and the enemy needs light to focus their targets on. We can't just "strike a light"."

"Then…strike a dark light!" Erin snapped. "SOMETHING!"

"We daren't!" Red said in a dramatic tone. "Why, only twenty miles across the bay, there's an Meekrob-run base that's watching our base intently!" He said, pointing across the sea.

"Don't be stupid!" White muttered. "They can't possibly see a MATCH being struck!" he snapped, crossing his arms.

"Oh, all right, fine! If you don't believe them…" Skoodge sighed as he dove into his pocket and quickly pulled out a box of matches. Taking a match, he got it lit with a quick striking motion on the striker stick, and then…

BUDDA-BOOOOM!

An explosion blew up a nearby tree and the shockwave sent their hair flying to the direction of the ocean while the match's light was blown out.

"Any OTHER questions?" Red inquired.

"I don't think I can feel my legs!" Erin moaned.

"Do you believe me NOW?! Are you aware of the danger of the Meekrob's long range guns?" Purple asked, raising a claw in the air and waggling it.

"Fine. Luckily for you guys…" White dove into his jacket and pulled out a small box. "I have a box of matches I snuck from a one of their bases!"

"Not bad, albino freak!" Red said, patting White on the shoulder. "Go on, strike one! They wouldn't fire at their own matches!"

"Of course not!" White said happily as he held one aloft. He struck it…

BUDDA-KROOOOM!

"…curses…THE RESISTY!" Red hissed as he and his buddy Purple hung from the tree they'd been knocked into. Erin was now on HER SIDE, cuckoo birds flying around her.

Well, they thought about using a candle, but it wouldn't have been very bright, and they didn't DARE light it and since they were afraid of moving an injured person, they waited 9 hours until sunrise and there they saw what had hit Erin. It was…A CHERRY PIE.

BGM: Dramatic chord of notes!

"…HMM…" Skoodge felt the pie. "It's still warm!"

"PHEW. I HATE cold pie!" Erin remarked. "Can you lift me up now?"

Lifting her up, Skoodge rubbed his chin. "I'll have to take note of this." He remarked. "A sinister pie-hurler is on the loose!"

"Maybe it's GIR." Erin suggested. "It sounds like something stupid he'd do."

"No, I got a call from Nick. He's busy being a poker player." White said. "He's quite good too."

"Really?"

"Yep. Give him a poker and he'll play any tune you like on it!"

"Ah." Erin nodded.

"Well then, I'm off!" Skoodge said, turning to the right and walking off…

"Goodbyyyyeeeeeeeeekkkk!"

…the cliff. WOOPS!

SPLOOOOSH!

"Oooh, look! A dolphin's coming to rescue no, it's a shark! It LOOKS like a dolphin. Tricky fish! TRICKY FISH!" Purple proclaimed.

…

…after swimming back to shore, Skoodge dried himself off to save time. As he headed back to his home, he wondered WHY anybody would want to strike somebody with a pie? So he decided to ask the man on the street.

"So, do you like pie?" He asked an Irken in the street who was leaning against a lamp post in the early morning.

"Pie?" The Irken grunt's head snapped up. Then he began to walk around like a zombie, chanting over and over. "Pie, pie, we like pie. Pie, pie, we like pie."

More people suddenly ambled out of the buildings nearby, joining him in a long line and chanting as well. "Pie, pie, we like pie! Pie, pie, we like pie!"

Skoodge blinked as a HUGE throng of people moved down the streets, heading for the sunset. "PIE, PIE, WE LIKE PIE! PIE, PIE, WE LIKE PIE!"

"…oh…kaaaaay…" Skoodge muttered, rolling his eyes as he headed back towards his house. Not much else happened that day…except he was suddenly struck with a peach pie. THWOCK!

"It's all rather confusing, y'know…" VENT said as he sat atop a mailbox as Skoodge walked inside his house, dripping in Pecan pie.

In the days to come, thirty eight fruit pies were hurled at Miss Nightshade.

"YEEEOOOWWW! WILL YOU STOPTHAT?! WHOEVER YOU ARE?!"

A madman was at large, In desperation...DIB was called in. But...not by choice.

"I require your help." Invader Skoodge told Dib as he stood in Dib's room, the door locked. It had been simple enough to teleport inside thanks to White assisting him. Dib was frankly AMAZED at the whole spectacle, but also...annoyed. HELP? An IRKEN?!

"What?" He asked stonily.

"I need your assistance. Nobody has been able to catch the one hurling these pies. He's moving in and out of our bases and past ALL security. This has made the Tallest suspect...paranormal intervention. You are a paranormal investigator. If you assist me I will not harm you. I have no real reason to bring harm upon you, Dibbun Membrane. Useless violence will not bring either you, nor I, closer to our goals."

"I'm NOT helping you." Dib spoke angrily, grabbing Skoodge's arms. "I'm throwing you into my closet and putting THREE PAIRS of sleep cuffs-"

"You leave me no choice then." Skoodge said softly. He quickly broke out of Dib's hold and grabbed HIS wrists.

"AAA!" Dib screamed in pain. "What are you doing?!"

"Crushing your fragile human bones, little one." Skoodge intoned. "But I will give you one more chance. Do as I say and you'll be spared."

"RRR..." Dib grit his teeth in pain, then finally nodded. Skoodge let go and nodded. "Fine. If I DO Help you?" Dib inquired.

"Oh, I will make it worth your while." Skoodge said. "Say...with a piece of Irken technology so advanced that they will HAVE to call you sane?"

Dib rubbed his chin. "Find a ghost that hurls pies in exchange for advanced alien technology?...I can live with working with your kind for that. But I'll need a disguise."

"Taken care of." White said, entering the room and holding up a holographic image inducer.

"This pie-hurler must be stopped. He's made FOOLS of us Irkens!" Skoodge growled.

"I disagree, you were fools long before he came along." White laughed.

SOME TIME LATER...

"Now, from the splatter-impact of the pies...they were obviously thrown by hand." Dib said, disguised as a blue-eyed Irken with a dark cloaked-jacket and a tool belt with various technological equipment for use in "Phantom Pie Hurler-Hunting".

"Not necessarily. some people are pretty clever with their feet." Purple added. "You should see Sizz-Lorr! He can fry TEN slydoodeedoos with his feet!"

"Which is why they always taste like feet." Red realized out loud.

"...brilliant." White groaned.

"Now...these PIES, were they all identical. They all used fruit." "Dab" went on. "EXCEPT...for THIS one." He added, holding up the remains of the latest pie. "There was a BOOT in it."

"Ahhh. So the dreaded hurler is a military man!"

"And as it were the The 1st Heavy Underwater Artillery. Happens to live right near where Erin keeps getting attacked!" Red realized. "Dab, Skoodge...I want you to go there at once and arrest the first Irken you see wearing one boot!" He demanded as-

SPLAT! A pie flew in through the window and hit Dib.

"...I hate all of you so very much."

…

… "I assure you, this is absolutely ridiculous. None of my men are-"

"We want to be SURE, Commander Darth."

"Fine, fine, I'll call them all out."

The blind alien tapped his forehead and concentrated. Immediately all of the soldiers within the base went RUNNING to the main hall of the 1st Main Heavy Underwater Artillery. The entire building was actually under the sea, and various fish of different kinds were swimming around them. On either side of the main hall were hallways leading off to bunks, the cafeteria, etc, etc. At the very top was a crystal chandelier. They LIKED chandeliers.

"So, why are you doing this again?" Darth inquired, blind eyes narrowing.

"I'm looking for a criminal-" Skoodge began.

"Which one? The whole LOT are a bunch of stupid defectives, criminals or morons who either ran away from Food Service, spat on the Tallest or blew up the planet they were supposed to invade before they even GOT their. Reminds me of the stories of Zam..."

Skoodge shuddered. Zam had been the absolute WORST invader of all time. He had blown himself up while still on the planet he had yet to invade in his penultimate act of stupidity.

"Anyhow, I doubt you'll-"

"Please, this is important." Erin spoke up, standing by Dib. This was the first time she'd talked to Darth.

"WH-what?" He inquired, turning to look in her direction, astral form reaching out. The moment he touched her mind, his eyes bulged out, antennae standing up. "My LADY! Oh, I'm so sorry!" He bowed deeply. "I had no idea you were here!" He ran to her and kissed her hand. "Anything for you, my lady!"

"What's with him?" "Dab", who was really Dib, inquired.

"He only acted this way with Miyuki. Apparently he "sees" a similar soul in her..." Skoodge whispered.

"Alright, you slobs!" Darth yelled out to the gathered Irken grunts who appeared to congregate in the Main Hall. "You all stand at attention so my friend Skoodge and his associates...especially the lovely Erin..." he added with a nod in her direction, "Can examine you!"

Both Skoodge and Dib walked among the ranks looking for the soldier with one boot, but their luck was out, the entire regiment was wearing boots on BOTH feet.

"I say Skoodge, it's getting dark. You can't see in this light!" "Dab" complained.

"Fine, I'll turn on my flashlight." Skoodge said, holding up his flashlight.

FWICK!

KA-THWOOM!

A missile had JUST barely missed the underwater base. Skoodge quickly turned it off. "DARN it! I forgot about the Meekrob..."

"It gets awful sometimes. Our supplies have been cut off recently, we've been keeping track of every single person who has access to heat and clean food and that list is getting shorter and shorter..." Darth went on.

"I want to return to BED. Can I do it SOON? I want me beddy byes!" A soldier spoke up, one with dark brown eyes and a nasty glare.

"Uh, who are you?" Skoodge inquired.

The Irken put his hand on his chest. "Me? I'm Lance Private Doody-Eyes, that's my nickname, but most folks calls me by my regular name."

"What's that?" "Dab" inquired.

"Reg." Reg remarked.

Dab, AKA Dib, looked this...THING over. If he had never seen Irkens before, it would be the closest thing he'd ever SEEN to one, without actually BEING Irken. There was something decidely off...almost like somebody had taken an Irken body and filled it up with cottage cheese...his skin was lime green and he had a slight red tint to his teeth.

"Surely you don't suspect THIS one." Darth inquired. "He's one of my finest soldiers! Always follows orders! Granted, he smells very oddly..."

"I'm over HERE." Reg mumbled.

Darth turned, went "Oops" and gestured in the right direction. "He's perfectly normal. True, has has the same name as the one who blinded me all those years ago-"

"An Irken blinded you? I thought you were CREATED blind." Skoodge remarked.

Darth smirked a little and closed his eyes. "I learned recently that I am a spirit reincarnated into a blind body...a spirit that was once a "World Destroyer", trained by Tallest Kor. It explains my powers as well, AND my calling...with my years of experience I shall lead the Irken people into a new era, one part at a time."

"I'll bet the old Reg you know had more than one boot." Reg admitted.

Darth frowned. "You seriously have only one boot upon your person? Why didn't you tell me? I would have gotten you a replacement, you dolt!"

"I didn't wanna tell ya that my boot were stolen by a thief." Reg added.

"...so why are you wearing it on your HEAD?" "Dab" asked.

"It fits my head better than it fits my foot."

"What size is the boot?" Skoodge inquired.

"Nine."

"What's your head size?"

"Nine."

"Damn." Skoodge swore. "His defense is perfect. So the other one was stolen by a thief and not some random pickpocket?"

"Oh yes, sir!" Reg insisted eagerly, nodding his head. "I NEVER keeps my boots in me pockets!"

"...riiiight..." Dab, who was really Dib, commented.

The next morning, Dib was struck with another pie. This one was an apple pie...

And stone cold.

"Do you know what this means?" Dib asked Skoodge as he, Darth and Erin all sat around the lounge of the Underwater Artillery, a big grin on Dib's face.

"Ummm..." Skoodge blinked. "The pie-hurler is losing interest in you?"

"Nooooo." Dib remarked, shaking his head rapidly. "It proves that the phantom has lost his heat! He's going to be checked off that list Darth was talking about! We've got to get to Head Command and find it!"

AND SO...

"Alright, here we are." Dib looked over a long list that had various Irken names scrawled all over it in bright blue pen. He scanned the various names that had been crossed off, rubbing his chin. It felt weird still appearing as an Irken to the others...he was almost getting USED to it all!

"Well?" Erin inquired.

"Ah, here's the most recent person on Meekrob who has lost their heating." Dib realized as he and the others stood around in the shelved rooms of the back of Head Command. There were dozens of various military records, most of which was a load of hooey, the Irken empire did NOT win as easily or as often as they liked to admit. And against the Meekrob, they continued to lose and lose and lose...

Dib motioned for Skoodge to turn on the communicator vid-screen nearby, and Skoodge flicked a switch, turning it on...and revealing Sizz-Lorr's face.

"Yesssss?" He inquired, looking irritated that he had to move from his diner to go to the Irk-forsaken rock that was Meekrob.

"...oh...uh...sorry, wrong number!" Skoodge gasped out, flicking the off switch as the others looked at him. "No, it couldn't be him, who would he want to throw a pie at?"

RIIIIIING!

Skoodge looked over at the wall and saw they had a call. He turned the vid-screen on.

"Hello?"

"It is ZIM!" Zim complained. "And somebody has thrown a PIE at my glorious visage!"

This time DIB turned the thing off, laughing as he did so, the image of Apple Crumble pie dripping down Zim's head forever lodged in his brain.

...more days went by. Dib continued to be bombarded with pies, and this also applied to anyone walking WITH him who didn't duck or dodge in time! One night, desperate to get some time alone, Dib walked through an alleyway of one of the Irken bases, when SUDDENLY...

SFX: Sinister and dramatic fanfare

...absolutely nothing happened. BUT It happened suddenly. Annoyed, Dib decided to turn on his flashlight since it was getting dark out and head back to Skoodge's place...

BA-KROOOOOM!

"Darn Meekrob!" Dib growled. "STINKIN..."

"Excuse me? Are you depressed?"

Dib turned to see GIR was sitting atop a garbage can. He turned his head to the side. "I'M depressed too. And you know what I do when I'm depressed?"

"...what?" Dib asked.

"I PLAY THE BONGOS!" GIR exclaimed, holding up some bongos and pounding away at them.

"...now I AM depressed." Dib remarked, frowning.

"By the way, could I borrow a cuppa sugar?" GIR asked, popping the bongo tops open and chewing some popcorn that was inside.

"I haven't got any."

"How about a match then?"

"Take the whole dang box!" Dib said, tossing GIR his box of matches which had been rendered useless in the recent "anti-light" weather. "They're useless for me."

"Thanks, big-head-boy!" GIR said happily,popping them in his head and clapping his hands. "Now I can make sure my pie's warm again and Piggy will be happy! Y'know there's nothing worse than being struck down with a cold pie!".

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Dib remarked, rolling his eyes.

Dib watched GIR head off and shrugged the whole crazy thing off. He didn't have time to waste with GIR, he had to find that pie-hurler.

Author's Note:

For those of you who believe that Dib isn't cut out to be a paranormal investigator…please write to Jhonen Vasquez in Los Angeles, California. I've heard he LOVES getting fan mail.

A few days later, Dib got a hot lead on a tip from Reg, who had seen a shadowy figure go out to sea with what appeared to be a small ship that had a nice-smelling aroma coming from it...the aroma of baked goods. Immediately Dib sprung into action!

And so, they traveled by sea, Dib and Skoodge. To avoid detection by the Meekrob, they spoke Tantalog throughout the whole trip and were heavily disguised as Murideans.

"Tooki ba waba!" "Dab" said to "Skoo" as they clasped hands and shook them eagerly as a Meekrob ship eyed them suspiciously. The captain of the ship waved them along and they waved back as they moved the ship down along the bay, breathing a sigh of relief. Dib was dressed up as a yellow-furred Muridean with bright blue eyes and a small tail, while Skoodge was a fat, dark brown-furred, red-eyed one with a thick nose.

"I can't believe I'm disguised as a RODENT. Is this what ZIM has to go through?" Dib wondered.

More often than you'd think.

"Great, now I feel SORRY for that evil alien jerk." Dib muttered at the sky.

"As an added precaution we should stand on separate decks and wear separate shoes." Skoodge added.

"And we'll disguise the ship as a train! But have it made to look up like a boat but PAINT it to look like a train!" VENT remarked.

"...you drank the sea water, didn't you?" Skoodge asked as VENT giggled and then vomited overboard.

Hooking up with Erin, they headed out on a more seaworthy vessel and were sailing along the dark seas, eyes peering over the horizon when...

"MINE AHEAD!" Dib yelled. "There's a horrible, HUGE honkin' mine ahead!"

Erin promptly fell overboard in fear as she took a step back and VENT blinked stupidly. "Funny, she wasn't dressed for swimming!"

"There's no need to worry guys!" VENT insisted. "It's one of OURS!"

Dib covered his eyes and shook his head.

BA-BOOOOOOOOM!

…

...so they floundered around in that cruel, cruel sea. Fortunately they found that Erin had found a rowboat. Unfortunately there was only room for TWO, apparently...

"Well, Skoodge asked ME to find the Pie-Hurling phantom. Sorry Erin!" Dib said, entering the boat.

"Sure, come on in!" Skoodge asked.

"Wait!" Erin begged. "Uh...fifty monies for a place in the boat!"

SFX: SPLASH

"You Irken SWINE!" Dib yelled angrily, eyes narrowed into slits as he splashed around in the water.

"Come on in, Erin." Skoodge said, bowing deeply.

"Oh, this is nice." Erin commented happily, brushing her red hair back.

"Uh...100 monies for a place in the boat!" Dib called out.

SFX: SPLASH

"HEEEEEYYY!" Skoodge moaned horribly as he was tossed out into the water.

"Up you get!" Erin said, helping Dib into the boat.

"Ahhh, Erin. Myyyy frieeeend." Dib spoke gently, grinning broadly.

"TWO HUNDRED monies for a place in the boat!" Skoodge called out.

SFX: SPLASH

"You ain't MY friend!" Erin snapped angrily as she flopped around in the ocean waves.

"Oh, Skoodge, how could I have abandoned you?" Dib asked. "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me."

"Yes, let's never do something like this ever again." Skoodge agreed.

"FOUR HUNDRED monies for a place in the boat!" Erin hollered.

SFX: SPLASH-SPLASH

That's right, folks. TWO splashes. How is this possible?

"Heh-heh-heh." Darth laughed as he helped Erin into the boat. "I took their little tosies and WOOPS-a-daisy!"

"Darth, you saved my life!" Erin commented, hugging him tightly.

Darth blushed deeply, and hugged her back. "I'm HONORED, milady, to be of service to one as gentle and loving as you."

"So, what do you do for fun?" Erin inquired.

"Well, I enjoy walks on the beach, looking through private thoughts and laughing madly...did you know Purple cross-dresses?"

"It's true!" VENT added, appearing from out of Erin's hair and waving. Yeah...her hair's thick, folks. Lovely thick locks. ^_^

Meanwhile, Skoodge and Dib were drifting around, lost in the sea...when they suddenly saw the faint outline of a ship. Instantly they took off towards it and climbed aboard...finding what was a large shack. Skoodge knocked on it and...

When the Tallest says we is the Master Race, we heil-

SFX: Fart noise

Heil!

SFX: Fart noise

Right in the Tallest's face!

"SILENCE, GIR!"

KNOCK-KNOCK!

"Hold on, hold on!" Zim snapped before opening the door. "Zim does not want any!...wait, why am I not upset that somebody's knocking? And that the somebody is the DIB-STINK!?" He gasped.

"Don't move, Zim!" Dib snapped, eyes narrowing. "I arrest you as the Phantom-Pie-Hurler." He told Zim, smirking.

"Curse you, Dib!" Zim hissed.

"Hands up you devil, don't move…this finger is loaded." Dib told Zim.

"If you kill me I promise you, you'll never take me alive!" Zim hissed.

"...uh...how are we going to prove that ZIM'S the pie hurler?" Skoodge inquired nervously.

"Actually, GIR hurled pies too." Zim explained, spreading his hands. "He just got into some sugar and some baking supplies and went INSANE...more so than usual." He added, seeing Dib's expression of "Oh, c'mon". "But then when DIB appeared to investigate and I threw one at HIM, I...I got hooked! It was so...exhilarating!" Zim went on as GIR held onto the last remaining pie. All of the other cooking supplies in the shack were utterly used-up.

"That pie's ALL the proof we need." Dib said, grabbing something in his jacket and pulling out a communicator. "Tallests Red and Purple?"

"Yeah?"

"What if I told you ZIM and his crazy robot were behind the pie-hurlings?"

"Ooh, then you can dissect him!" Red said happily.

"But we wanna watch!" Purple added gleefully as Zim's mouth hung open and he gulped deeply.

…

...unfortunately for them, the boat's engine had died. THIRTY days they drifted in an open boat.

"OOOAEIOUGHHHH!" Dib groaned as they lay back in the boat, looking up at the sky. He and Zim had flies circling around their heads. And he could hear birds calling in the air.

"There's freaky bald BIRDS circling around…" Zim muttered. He looked quite gaunt and was a pale green color by now.

"Vultures." Dib mumbled, adjusting his cracked glasses for the eighteen bamillionth time. His skin was pale and yellowy. "They're called vultures. Normally they stay on the PLAINS…"

"They came all this way…and just to EAT us?!" Skoodge muttered.

"I don't know…but we'd best watch out for the ones carrying those knives and forks!" Zim whispered.

"We all live in a yellow submarine! A yellow submarine! A yellow submarine!" GIR sang for the eighteen-bamillionth time.

"Come ONNNN, Dib!" Skoodge moaned, sitting up and holding his stomach as he whined. "We MUST eat that pie or we're going to STARVE!" He sobbed, his figure now far-depleted, his pudgy stomach a distant memory.

"NEVER, do you hear me, No!" Dib shouted, clutching onto the pie and snarling at Skoodge. "That's the only evidence we've got against him! This will get him on an autopsy table! I WON'T give it up...though…" He looked down at his stomach. "I must admit I've got one HELL of an appetite..."

"We've got to eat the pie, or we're going to DIE!" Skoodge demanded of Dib, frowning angrily.

"NEVER!" Dib cried out.

"WE MUST!" Skoodge insisted.

And that, dear readers, is the end of our story, except of course, for the END. So we invite listeners to submit what they think should be the true ending! Should our protagonists eat the pie and live, or leave it and…in the cause of justice…die? Meantime, for you ZADR shippers who just want a happy ending, here it is!

Zim and Dib held onto each other tightly, locked in a deep embrace. Zim, no longer in his disguise, smiles warmly at Dib as Dib returns the same loving smile.

"Darling, darling, will you marry me?" Dib asked, eyelids partially down the same as Zim.

"Of COURSE I will…darling!" Zim said, and the two then kissed passionately as Nick wiped his teary eyes with a kleenex, watching the two smooch up a storm, their tongues intertwining like two snakes making love, their chests rising and lowering as they took great deep breaths filled with life…

Thank you and goodnight.

#invader zim #Zim #Dib #GIR #dib membrane #Tallest Red #Tallest Purple #Skoodge #humor #comedy #fanfic #fanfiction #ZADR #joke

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electricprincess96 · 4 months

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Can I give my main controversial opinion about M*stra? Has nothing to do with her actions in BG3 or in lore, has nothing to do with personality or her design or anything like that. My main controversial opinion about M*stra is having a God/Goddess of Magic AT ALL creates some weird problems in universe for me.

Now DnD is all over the place with the various editions but realistically M*stra isn't actually the God of Magic, she's the Goddess of the Weave which is the tool in which mortals are able to utilise Magic. But ultimately it doesn't matter cause mortals aren't gonna be tapping into magic without using the Weave or else they'd likely go insane.

But anyway it causes questions to come up like why are some people born Sorcerers, why are Devils and Fey allowed to grant Magic to Warlocks when Magic is M*stra's domain and why does she decide some people have to go to Magical University in order to cast Magic? Not even touching on all the other classes, that reasonably are tied to different gods like Druids and Nature God's still using Magic despite not worshipping M*stra. Like why are some races inherently more Magic than others? The Elven Pantheon can't gift all Elves inherent magical abilities when Magic is M*stra's domain.

Like does M*stra just decide "oh elves are magical. I'll let them be born with a cantrip." Or "that girl nearly drowned. I'm gonna make her into a Storm Sorcerer now, but that loser over there? No, he needs to get into crippling student dept before I'll grant him access to the Weave. "

Having M*stra be the sole authority on magic means these are questions I will ask now because you've told me that this ONE being is the final authority on Magic. Like how does she decide if some bloodlines are magical sorcerers? How does she decide what races are inherently magical?

Like I know they keep telling us she can't meddle too much cause Ao will get mad but in actual lore she meddles a lot, so I'm calling that putting a bandaid on their problems, they know they gave M*stra too much authority so have to try and plaster over said problem.

Realistically I would make Magic and the Weave a force of nature, even more so than the actual forces of nature because its so fundamental to the world. Its in the land, its in the air, it is life itself in some regards. Some races with a closer connection to nature and the sanctity of life are more likely to be born with an inate gift for magic and Sorcerers often come about due to interracial relations between these races and others (ie. Half Elves would have a higher than average chance of being Sorcerers, basically this would be the Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer just expanded a bit) or they were born or had some traumatic even near an area that is particularly potent with magical energy (you can still call it the Weave i guess) such as Wild Magic Zones or areas recently ravaged by Talos and Umberlees destructive natural Magic.

Then I would make M*stra the Goddess of Arcane Knowledge and Practice and the Patron Deity of Wizards. Still incredibly powerful and revered through Faerun, but not like mind bendingly so. I would make her Lawful Neutral and she encourages the study and practice of new magics, good and evil, and can grant unimaginable knowledge onto worshippers who she favours. She can still grant exceptional magical abilities upon her chosen, but just by removing her as BEING Magic and instead making Magic inherent to the world itself it removes all these issues I have and suddenly those questions just aren't important anymore. Like "why are some people sorcerers" it's just a random force to nature, the luck of the draw, they were born lucky in the right place at the right time etc. Rather than me asking "why did M*stra let these people be Sorcerers but not these people?"

I'm aware a lot of people will disagree with me, frankly I don't really care the beauty of DnD is you don't have to play the game the same way I do so you can just ignore me and move on. I just wanted to rant a bit cause this has bugged me ever since I looked properly at M*stra and her lore and started to really ask questions about the world of Forgotten Realms.

#bg3 blogging #dnd blogging

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snugglyporos · 6 months

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// So. I was reading some story someone sent me about what they considered a 'good' isekai, and at first I was kind of okay with it, but then I hit something like ten chapters in that made me go NOPE.

And it's the concept of differing morality.

Let me explain. Let's say you have a character from say, our world, entering a medieval fantasy setting. The medieval period, and indeed much of history, had vastly different ideas about morality, specifically, capital punishment. Meaning that for a society where death is everywhere, as people don't live as long, violence is endemic, and getting a cold means flipping a coin to see if you die, executing criminals is pretty routine.

Now, if you're someone who has been dropped into this world, and you see someone being accused of crimes, some of which seem pretty bad, such as murder or maybe magical ones such as necromancy, would you immediately think to stick your neck out to declare that executing them is wrong?

Because I feel like that's a really, really stupid thing to do.

Like it's one thing to believe that such a thing is wrong. It's another thing to insert yourself into a society you know nothing about and declare that they are wrong, that their laws are wrong, that their cultural beliefs are wrong, especially when you're the fish out of water here.

The saying 'when in rome, do as the romans do' exists because the best way to survive and get along is to go along with things even if you don't entirely approve of them!

Like if I was dropped into a fantasy world my primary drive would not be centered around trying to object to whatever weird laws the locals have. I would be asking for a copy of their legal code so I could learn what they were before I got myself in trouble.

Also! Just because you're not from a fantasy world doesn't mean you have no concept of what kinds of magic are like!

Like if you live in a world with say, RPGs, then you should be vaguely aware that in general, necromancy is bad. Sure, individual necromancers might be okay! But on the whole, they're usually the antagonists, and people who grave rob are usually not good people. Probably shouldn't stick your neck out for them on a whim.

Like I've said a lot about how sometimes lawful good can become lawful asshole, but I've not said enough about how chaotic good can become chaotic moron, because doing things that are theoretically altruistic but which make no sense is not a good thing!

There's a difference between 'I am against capital punishment because I believe people should be able to redeem themselves' and 'I believe that there should be no punishment for people doing transparently evil things because it makes me feel icky.'

Like I believe this strongly when it comes to tabletop especially. When you write a character or roleplay a character whose alignment differs greatly from the party or the society's norm, you need to establish how they coexist with them without causing problems!

For example, I often bring up my chaotic evil Oozemancer character who existed within a party of mostly good characters. To me, good/evil is actually altruistic/selfishness, and so he gave not one fuck about anyone or anything else except his oozes. And obviously, the BBEG is going to pose a threat to his beloved oozes, and so he is entirely willing to go along with the Paladin and company and acquiesce to their goals, because it provides material benefit to him.

Conversely, a paladin surrounded by evil characters might rationalize it by saying they're trying to provide an example for them to follow or trying to curb their worst excesses. They won't go along with obviously awful things, but you also can't object as strongly to mostly neutral actions. Dishonorable is not the same as evil, after all.

My point is, I cannot stand when characters grandstand about their morality systems in a situation which makes absolutely no sense for them to do so.

It's like if you were transported back to the height of the Aztec empire and witnessed human sacrifice, you're not going to stop the ceremony because they'll just sacrifice you next! That's not doing good, that's just being a moron. And it shouldn't be presented as the morally correct thing, because that's just character centered morality.

#ooc

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tenthhell · 6 months

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As a somewhat different but equally important lesson on devils, we're going to talk about their society.

In terms of alignment, lawful evil is absolutely the standard. Chaotic behaviour in the Hells is never tolerated and is seen as abhorrent beyond all reason -- which does mean you are actively painting a target on your back. ( Though Tiamat seems to be an exception to this??? I may make hcs on why eventually beyond the fact that she actually guards the portal from Avernus into Dis. ) Beyond the fact that it flies in the face of what they as a society value, it's generally never wise to remind a devil of a demon. Neutral is tolerated inasmuch as you play by the v specific rules painted out for everyone, bc frankly Asmodeus himself must abide by these rules too and therefore so shall everyone tf else. Evil is the gold standard by which you will survive, bc devils don't get PTSD from fucked up shit but any other alignment absolutely will. Again, neutral can be tolerated, but good will be quickly snuffed out. No, you cannot play pretend; they can smell it on you like goddamn bloodhounds.

The layers of the Hells are as follows: Avernus, ruled by Zariel ; Dis, ruled by Dispater ; Minauros, ruled by Mammon ; Phlegethos, ruled jointly by father / daughter duo Belial and Fierna ; Stygia, ruled by Levistus ; Malbolge, ruled by Glasya ; Maladomini, ruled by Beelzebub ; Cania, ruled by Mephistopheles ; Nessus, ruled by Asmodeus, who is also the king of the Hells.

Tiamat used to rule Avernus, but she apparently either didn't give a shit about or fucking sucked at the Blood War, and was therefore forcibly removed and put in her current position of guarding between layers. Which is still important, particularly in the case of Avernus and Dis.

There are four tiers of devil. Lemures are their own, lowest of the low rank. Lesser includes, imp, spined devil, bearded devil, barbed devil, chain devil, and bone devil. Greater includes horned devil, erinyes, ice devil, and pit fiend. Archdevil covers any unique devil, and are usually a duke or duchess, or the archdukes/duchesses. There are absolutely other types of devil beyond these, but I'm not clear where they all sit in this format, and there's also a lot of them anyway.

The Pact Primeval is an agreement signed by lawful deities that dictates the system of punishing damned souls. There are three copies, one in the Hells, one in Mount Celestia, and one in Mechanus, and are all heavily guarded, and exude power from their parchment. This is something Asmodeus has long since figured out how to exploit for each and every loophole, and has been put on trial for this at least once and was acquitted of wrongdoing. Which is to say, if you die and end up in the Hells, no good or neutral deity can or will do anything for you.

There are four dialects of the Infernal language. The first is Least Infernal, which is very basic and used for commands or insults. It's very harsh sounding. The second is Lesser Infernal, and is what almost all humanoids learn; if you know this dialect, you can understand the higher forms, but you're not fluent in them. This version is less gravelly than Least, but certainly not musical, and is equal to any mortal tongue in complexity. The third is Greater Infernal, and it is the tongue of the greater devils. It is, to quote, "full of obscure patterns that seemed to meander misleadingly before snapping to an unexpected point. Speaking it properly required careful planning and the ability to respond intelligently to phrases based only on the most subtle of cues. It was said that two greater Baatezu ( another word for devils ) could hold entire conversations in this form of Infernal using only the beginnings of their sentences." The fourth is called High Infernal, also called Mabrahoring, and is an archaic form of the language spoken by archdevils, and thus considered the court language of the Hells. To quote, "This form of the language was so utterly corrupt and evil that its malevolence could drag listeners into hateful despair just through hearing its patterns." Only unique devils can learn this dialect, but comprehend languages can decode it.

As you may notice, each dialect of Infernal is tied to a caste; one may not speak a dialect above their station, and doing so will be punished for insubordination. Mortals are always kept in the Lesser Infernal caste. ( No, you will not impress any devil by having learned how to speak Greater or Mabrahoring Infernal. You're going to offend and anger them, and possibly have your bloodline cursed at best. )

Every devil but the highest ranks dreams of being promoted, as it means more personal power, and less being stomped on ( sometimes literally ) by the devils above you. Only the ranks of archdevils and pit fiends can promote devils below themselves, and may typically do so as a reward for particularly pleasing service. Once promoted, devils go through a painful ceremony that lasts up to a day, and retain memories of their devil history. Each time a devil is promoted, it must purge itself of chaotic behaviour and thoughts, making the highest ranking devils, ice devils, and pit fiends pretty rigid in their lawfulness. ( Devils who are born to high ranks are still expected to purge themselves as a coming of age ceremony. ) The faster you are promoted, the more painful it is.

There is actually a ministry of promotion, whose sole job is to record and scrutinize promotions, as there are actually strict requirements to be met. Superiors who don't follow those guidelines are punished by being put on the frontlines of the Blood War. The guidelines are along the lines of: none may rise til another falls. Incompetents don't rise in power. Speedy promotions are discouraged. Good isn't rewarded, evil is. Exemplary service means no mistakes.

One should actually note that backstabbers are more often promoted, and there is a LOT of intrigue surrounding promotion. Sometimes, specific devils' reports are doctored to keep them from being promoted.

If you suck particularly hard, you're going to be demoted. Typically, sucking refers to failure or disobedience.

It's pretty standard for devils to be ambitious, despise defeat and humiliation, extremely, EXTREMELY John Wick levels of vindictive.

The court of the Hells does see plenty of mortals, as it is where pact-related matters are tried ( have plenty of concrete evidence BEFORE you go to court, as court is unforgiving and deadly ), but is also where punishments for lawbreaking is decided.

Every devil but the absolute lowest ranks have true names. To know the true name of a devil is to have power over it; one can summon it and bind it into your service with their true name, though this usually requires a ritual, and possibly a sacrifice and or a devil talisman, which are amulets with a devil's true name written on it and bathed in the blood of someone the creator loved at the time of crafting. The effects vary by rank: regular devils serve for nine days, greater devils for nine hours, and archdevils for one specific service. Naturally, devils are very protective of their true names, and almost never share them willingly.

Asmodeus knows the true name of each and every devil who has and will ever exist.

Money actually legitimately Does Not Matter to devils; it serves no purpose beyond Mammon's own greed. Devils deal only in souls ( often in the form of soul coins ), gems, soul larvae, magic, knowledge, and favors.

#I am the patron saint of your demise // general hc.#okay to reblog #I sincerely hope I haven't forgotten something I wanted to add to this #but all things considered I probably have lmfao

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grapecaseschoices · 10 months

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I'm now healthy enough to pester you about your ocs! Yay for me. So I choose... Question 1, 7, 15 and 17. I'll let you choose which oc to talk about. It's a free card "talk about any oc that makes you happy to think about". Hope you're having a good day and if not, hugs and nuzzles (from my cat) to you.

I am glad that youre doing, pumpkin!

Ima do my twc mcs bc ima do the twc exchange~

1] Do they have any crafting hobbies?

Andy: He gardens and can do lawn maintnance, can do fair art with them bushes.

Pierre: Does book binding and cover repair.

Kendis: Does pottery. But they also like party ogranizing so they can make/letter basic cards. They don't do as much anymore but they scrapbook.

They all, including Val and Kai, know how to sew [to various degrees], as a life skill.

7] Do they have any unusual fears?

Define "unusual". Kendis and Andy both have a fear of loss; mainly via death. Val and Kendis both have a fear of -- I guess not being good enough. Mainly the closer you get the less you will like what you see. Val does have a sorta fear of falling short of Rook/ruining his legacy and, of course, abandonment. Kendis a -- sorta fear of imperfection; they hold themselves to unfair standards, in a sense, and even tend to lean in seeing themselves as inherently a bad person.

The other two are more normal/better at self regulating. I mean Pierre's past mistakes do weigh and he could lean into Kendis' issues territory but he is better at working with who he is now [and also doesn't think he's prone to evil so --]

15] What kind of sense of humor do they have? Or do they have one at all?

I am SO bad at this. qwerwaw drawing differences on characters humor. BUT:

Andy: LOVES. PUNS. Which may seem unexpected, but word play is his gig, so.

Pierre: Isn't against the puns but actually has a low-key mischeviousness to his humor. A sorta soft teasing. This is why I picture him and Felix vibing. He actually thinks Felix is very funny -- maybe a bit much but he thinks his boyfriend is so hilarious [sorry Ava].

Kai: Dry.

Val: Sarcastic. Very little shit.

Kendis: Teasing. Kendis loves to poke. I see her as like the jokey, punch you on the shoulder humor sort. Kendis has sibling energy humor even as an only child. [Sardonic tho when she's feeling Mean].

17] How easily would they be convinced to do something that goes against their morals?

Define "morals". JKJK.

Um, it would actually be hard for all of them except - seemingly - for Kendis and Kai. I say this, because Kai's morals are at times governed by what he feels is most logical. And Kendis' are usually - this may surprise - based on the people around them [ie the people they value and trust the most]. However, this is where the seeming comes it, at the end of the day what Kendis values MOST is themselves and said loved ones. So while when push comes to shove it may SEEM she's wibble wobbling, she isn't.

I've a'ways said that if Kendis was born/raised in a bad environment then that is where their morals would align -- the ONLY exception is, I've never had a Kendis who wasn't suckered in by the underdog.

For fun:

Andy: True Neutral.

Kai: Lawful Neutral.

Kendis: Chaotic Neutral with good tendencies [tho fun fact: og Kendis tends to be chaotic good with neutral tendencies.]

Pierre: Lawful Good.

Val: Neutral Good.

#ask: twc #yes-prisoner #grapecase answers #ty bb <3 #ask: kendis crawford louel #ask: andy yasar #ask: val montemer #ask: pierre lin #ask: malakai baines #what says morals better than dnd moral alignment #mind i never took the quiz for them #andy and kendis are based off a dnd playing friends summary #[particulary og kendis and andys]#and i guessed for the others #but i feel twc kendis would lean more neutral for the fact that their good influences came later in life

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nuka-bolt · 1 month

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2, 3, 10, 14, 19, 26, 42, and 51 👀

Thank you Billie!! 🧡 sorry this took so long to answer

Fallout OC Questionnaire

2) Which faction(s) did they join and which did they destroy? Why?

Alicia joined the Minutemen and the Institute. For the first part of her journey she planned to destroy the Institute for taking Shaun. Upon learning Shaun is Father she sided with them, including their plan to make a ‘replacement’ of her to infiltrate the Railroad.

Evie has quite a journey. She started off as Institute supportive until she started doubting her ‘non-humanity’. Once she helped on her first package run (H2-22 in Boston After Dark) she went rogue. She wears Alicia’s identity as a mask whilst working with the Minutemen and sided with the Railroad.

Ultimately they both side with the Railroad and the Minutemen to destroy the Institute. I’m unsure what’ll happen to the Brotherhood but needless to say they aren’t on the same side.

3) What is their S.P.E.C.I.A.L.?

All of Evie’s stats are higher than Alicia because she’s had more experience in the wasteland (the equivalent of levelling up). I think Alicia would have a higher intelligence after her time in the Institute and Evie would have a higher Charisma from both Deacon teaching her how to read people better and just being a recognised face in the Commonwealth. So...

Alicia - S3, P4, E3, C8, I6, A3, L5

Evie - S4, P8, E6, C8, I5, A8, L7

10) What do they fear the most?

They are both scared of failure. To be a disappointment. Alicia is scared of being a disappointment to Nate, to Shaun, to Preston and the Minutemen. Evie has the ironic bonus of being terrified of betrayal. She’s scared of what her betrayal will do to her friends in the Railroad and she doesn’t want the same happening to her.

14) What’s their zodiac sign or which one do you think they relate to the most? What are their placements (if you know them)? (ex. Aries sun, Taurus moon, Aquarius Venus)

Alicia is a Capricorn (January 12th)

Evie is a Taurus (May 12th)

19) What natural alignment are they? (ex. Lawful Good, Chaotic Evil)

Evie I’d say is somewhere between neutral good and chaotic neutral, but mostly chaotic good. She tries her best to help everyone with the resources that the Minutemen and Railroad provide to her and is quite self sacrificing when she needs to be.

Alicia is neutral good whilst with the Minutemen and True Neutral whilst with the Institute. She does keep the morals she has from the Minutemen but buries them deep to help Shaun.

26) How do they come off to others? What first impression do they usually make?

In both cases it’d depend on how you meet them.

As a ally you’d see kind eyes and a warm smile.

As an enemy you’d see from determination. They have people to protect and damn them if they won’t try their best.

Alicia gives off warmth whilst topside. She is a friendly face as long as you don’t try to hurt anyone she loves. She comes off as a little gullible at first. In the Institute she’s a little closed off. Duller eyes and less smiles.

Evie has a slight guard to her eyes. It’s subtle, easily explained by wasteland experience, though around people she trusts that edge just melts.

42) Their opinions on ghouls, feral and not feral?

Alicia was terrified of ferals when she first got out. She had no clue what they were so panicked and thought they were zombies. To be honest she was terrified with everything except Radstags and Brahmin after leaving the vault.

Evie is scared of ferals in the sense that they’re a potential threat. That said, Evie’s first experience with ferals after joining the Railroad was that random encounter with the SoSu’s old neighbours and that gave her quite a breakdown and identity crisis.

Neither of them have a negative opinion of ghouls. Both want to stop the discrimination against them because, to them, they’re just people.

51) Anything they like to collect? (ex. Unique weapons, Bobbleheads)

Both of them collect ‘Quest Items’. There’s a safe in the Sanctuary house filled with things like Kellogg’s gun, MacCready’s soldier, and Deacon’s recall code. They both also collect bobbleheads and comics.

#SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG #Its been a few... *checks calendar* ... years...#whoops #fallout OC Evie North #fallout OC Alicia Clarke #Liar Liar #fallout 4 #wren speaks

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teamcuriosity · 1 year

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Can you guys tell us about pronouns? I see that some of your admins use some neopronouns!

hihi!! I'll take this one!! ^^

so, pronouns!! when people talk about pronouns in this context, they're talking about the ones they use to refer to themselves—personal pronouns! with only a few exceptions, everyone uses pronouns!!!! in many languages, the most common ones are a "masculine" and a "feminine". in Unovan and Galarian these would be he/him and she/her. I'll kinda just?? keep using Unovan and Galarian as the standard for this post since they're the most widely understood languages on Rotomblr, but it should be noted that some languages can shift dramatically in structure based on gender while others don't even see gender as a necessity in most situations!!! pronouns and gender as a concept vary a lot from language to language!!!

note: just because he and she are considered masculine and feminine pronouns that doesn't mean that you can't use them if you're not. The Right Gender™. words being gendered is a social construct. if you're masculine and want to use she/her or feminine and want to use he/him, there are no laws stopping you and even if there were like. break them!!!!!!! it's so dumb to police what words people use to describe their own selves!!!

ANYWAYS while he/him and she/her are the most common, there's also the neutral singular they/them that everyone forgets has existed for like. Ever????? there's also it/its as a neutral which CAN be derogatory if you use it against someone without asking if it's okay but!!!!! just because someone uses it/its for itself doesn't mean it's being self-hateful!! so be nice okay?? your other option is to perish.

and then there's NEOPRONOUNS!!!!! I can't list them all here because there are SO MANY and honestly I have so many of my own since I'm a bit of a pronoun hoarder ^^''''' I just put my main three sets up to keep things concise y'know??? BUT YEAH some people consider it/its as a personal pronoun to be a neopronoun, but the ones that come to mind to most people when thinking of neopronouns are xe/xem, ze/zir, and fae/faer!!! nounself pronouns like kit/kits and pi/pika also fall under this umbrella!!! these are pronouns that exist outside those commonly taught in schools and they're mostly used by nonbinary and genderqueer ppl but!!!! guess what!!! same as she/her and he/him you don't even need to be trans to use them!!!! if you're a cis man and you wanna use neos then there is literally nothing stopping u!!!

I know I just said it and I've said it a lot in this post but I'll say it again because a lot of people Just Don't Get It!!! pronouns are restricted by a person's PREFERENCE not GENDER!!! no one is ever ever EVER "the wrong gender" to use ANY pronoun. a cis lesbian can use he/him and that doesn't make him a man!!! a nonbinary person can use he/him or she/her without being either binary gender!!!! a transwoman can use they/them or it/its or any neo under the sun and still be a woman!!!!!!!!!!!!! gendered language is fake do what u want!!!!!!!!!

as a final note bc I've seen this shit happen before: pronouns are a matter of basic respect. even if you don't LIKE someone, even if they're outright EVIL, you should still use their proper pronouns. if we start misgendering people we don't like then that paints someone's correct pronouns as something to be Earned and not just. something you do when you want to treat someone as another human being, good or bad. which is a horribly dangerous precedent to set btw!!!!!!!! so don't do that!!!!!!

anyways I hope this answered any questions you might have had!!! I can go into more depth if you want but I figured I should just cover the basics for now ^^'''

—Prof. Violite Schist (it/they/fae)

#team curiosity answers #professor schist #pokeblog rp #pkmn irl #pokeblogging #pokeblr

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findingjoynweirdstuff · 3 years

Text

Dream SMP Recap (May 18/2021) - The L’Sandburg Deal

A “lore stream” from George takes an unexpected turn, and Foolish finally confronts L’Sandburg, taking up Bad’s offer to meet about a possible sale to end things peacefully.

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VOD LINKS:

Ponk

Foolish

Georgenotfound

Ranboo

Sapnap

Foolish

Badboyhalo

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- George starts walking to the prison. Tommy tells him in chat to turn around as he asks why the prison is so big to contain only one person

- Tommy says George told him he wanted to do this today, asking if he still wants to

- George starts following Tommy down the Prime Path and Tommy tells him to take the blood from the path. He says this is real, not a time for primes

- Tommy tells him they need to go get the Nightmare armor from Tubbo and asks how George is feeling. George isn’t feeling well

- Then he tells George no armor, then tells Tubbo to prepare the battle stations

- They run to Snowchester, Tommy says “nukes” in chat

- Tubbo is standing there holding a rosebush. George asks why he’s holding them, but Tommy says there’s no time as Tubbo leads them to the Snowchester vault with Dream’s armor. George takes it

- George looks at the camera and says it’s time to go and kill Dream

- Suddenly, Tommy joins VC and pulls down the green screen to reveal that this wasn’t a lore stream but a meetup, and Jack, Tubbo and Niki are also all there!

The stream immediately ends.

- Later, Sapnap and Karl hang out with Drista for a bit

- Bad hangs out with Sapnap and Karl (in VC) in L’Sandburg. Sam comes over and accuses Bad of smacking his butt

- Bad and Karl talk some more before Karl eventually leaves the call and Foolish arrives in L’Sandburg. It’s time to do some lore to decide the fate of L’Sandburg!

- Foolish orders Bad to tear down the walls and Bad says he wants to sell L’Sandburg to Foolish. Soon, though, Sam comes over to interrupt. As the warden, Sam is here to oversee the conflict.

- Foolish tells Sam to put Bad in prison for taking his land, but Sam reminds Foolish that Bad is one of the guards. He was just coming over to tell Bad he’s on duty tonight

- Bad shows Sam L’Sandburg, and Sam likes it. Karl interrupts in VC. Bad explains to Sam the extent of L’Sandburg’s territory and Corpse Husband joins the call to apologize that he can’t make the lore stream

- Foolish tells Sam he built the obsidian walls to restrict their expansion, but Sam says by doing so, Foolish sanctified L’Sandburg’s status as a separate territory, and Sam is the keeper of law on the server. He believes that L’Sandburg is independent

- They push Foolish out of L’Sandburg territory and Bad explains to Sam and Foolish that he wants to sell the toll gate but keep the L’Sandburg tower

- Foolish offers a stack of leather and a stack of bamboo, but Bad doesn’t accept the offer. Sam considers buying it -- he’s making a bank and needs a steady form of income for it

- Sam offers Bad seven diamond blocks. After much bargaining, Foolish offers seven diamond blocks and steak. Sam offers steak for free, then Foolish increases to eight blocks, then ten.

- Sam backs down, and Bad asks Foolish what he would do if he bought L’Sandburg. Foolish would tear it down

- Sam would have to enforce the tollgate, but he says he can divvy up his time between the prison and watching L’Sandburg. Bad would rather take Sam’s offer, and Sam says he wants to make it much bigger -- all the way to block limit

- Foolish protests. Bad asks Foolish to reimburse him materials and they accuse Foolish of vandalizing signs.

- Bad says he’d be willing to accept Foolish’s offer of ten blocks if Bad owns the tower. Foolish says the tower belongs to Foolish and not Bad, and Bad disagrees and rejects the offer. Sam says the toll will be a diamond block now

- Foolish walks around the wall and Sam attacks him, saying he bypassed the toll

- Bad makes his offer again. If he owns the tower, he would get all vertical space included in the chunk, and he wants nothing less than full ownership

- Sam positions himself as a neutral third party. Foolish shows Sam the books. If Bad owns the tower, he would put a toll on the chunk of land

- Bad is concerned that since Foolish would own the land outside his tower, Foolish might box him in. Foolish agrees that he wouldn’t disrupt Bad’s line of sight from the tower and Bad gets a buffer zone

- They agree on the deal and Bad gets the ten diamond blocks, Bad confirming L’Sandburg is a country. Bad gives Sam his “cut” of five diamond blocks

- Foolish asks what Bad means, his “cut.” Sam was supposed to be a third party! Sam says good day and leaves Bad and Foolish to start taking down the walls, Foolish unhappy

- Sam whispers to Bad:

DON’T BACK DOWN ON THIS YOU WANTED TO DO IT. REMEMBER QUACKITY SAID THIS WAS A GOOD THING FOR BUSINESS.

- Bad agrees with Sam and continues to work. He’s pleased. Every nation has to start somewhere, and he now has what he wanted the most: acknowledgement as a sovereign entity

- Bad wants there to be no hard feelings, so he gives Foolish the five remaining diamond blocks he has as payment and apologizes for everything. He explains that on that one day, when he was standing on that one spot...he realized he just really wanted it

- The problem, he goes on, is that you can’t just “pick up a spot” and carry it to “a chest in a secret location.” Now he has it!

- Foolish asks what happens when somebody else decides that they too can claim it. Bad says when that day comes, they can fight together as neighbors! L’Sandburg is like an embassy

Foolish: “Wait wait wait a second -- am I talking to former Eggboyhalo or is this a slightly different Badboyhalo?”

Bad: “No, this is past the Egg arc.”

- Just then, Bad gets a message from Skeppy. He’s confused that Skeppy is messaging him that Foolish took him prisoner and won’t release him until he gives up L’Sandburg. Bad demands Foolish explain, and Foolish lets slip that there was a plan to kidnap Skeppy

- Foolish tries to explain that it was just backup in case Bad had an evil plan up his sleeve. Bad shouts at Foolish, asking where Skeppy is

Foolish: “I should tell you something...Skeppy said he was getting tired of living with you.”

Bad: “...”

Foolish: “He said he needed a break, so I was gonna offer him a vacation.”

Bad: “...You take that back.”

- Until Foolish returns Skeppy to Bad, Bad declares war. Foolish doesn’t know where Skeppy is, as it was an unmarked location. Bad is horrified and immediately goes searching all over for him

- Foolish reminds Bad that Bad tried to kidnap Finley, but Bad says he gave Finley back safe and sound

- Bad gets another message from Skeppy saying he’s cold and hungry. Foolish says it’s just a prank, and he has Tall Mama instead. Bad goes to leave

- Foolish asks if they’ll still be able to be friendly neighbors

Bad: “I hope so, Foolish...”

- As a token of friendship, Foolish hands Bad the decorative button from the now-torn-down L’Sandburg tollgate

- Bad heads back through the Nether, looking down from the bridge into the lava and calling for Skeppy. He walks down the Prime Path, saying he was sorry for going off and making L’Sandburg

Bad: “I know things didn’t go the best with the whole Egg thing, but come on...”

- He makes it to the mansion and sees the poster of the shark with its butt out. It’s the ransom note

- He searches through the mansion. L’Sandburg was supposed to be a place where he and Skeppy could hang out together...

He keeps calling for Skeppy but there’s no answer, and the screen cuts to black.

---

Afterwards, Bad does a brief lore QnA:

- L’Sandburg canonically takes place after the final Egg stream, which Bad says is going to have “a doozy of an ending,” and he “doesn’t want to make you guys too sad.”

- All the L’Sandburg lore was on the fly. Nothing (except for Skeppy getting kidnapped) was planned, it’s all unscripted and fun

- People will either love or hate the next Egg lore stream. It’s going to be crazy

- There is one more stream that will wrap up the Egg lore and “set everything in motion.”

- He says you do not want to miss it. Bad will announce the date before it’s time

- A dono asks, if the Egg lore is setting stuff up, is it taking a break and coming back later?

“Coming back later? You’ll see. It’s gonna be interesting. You’ll see.”

---

Upcoming Events:

- The final Egg lore stream

- Foolish’s date

- Quackity’s business opening

- Quackity’s next lore stream

- Tales From the SMP: “Space Race”

- Ponk’s lore stream

- Dream’s lore video

- Sapnap’s possible lore stream

- Awesamdude lore stream

#dream smp #dream smp recaps #long posts

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heniareth · 3 years

Note

I was really curious about what your opinions on the DAO companions are :) I know we have talked about some, but I'd love to hear more and about the others as well :D I hope it's ok to pose this as an ask :)

Sure! That sounds like a ton of fun. This might be a long one tho. Mind you, this is not the finished version of the answer. I'd like to link stuff and add a cut, but rn that's not possible. I'll update it when I can.

Edit: I have updated it ^^

Let's go alphabetically bc why not.

Alistair:

Sweet guy. So sweet. There was a moment when I was hard pressed chosing between him and Zevran (alas, Zevran won). Also, he's weirdly tall according to the wiki? How did I not notice that before?

Let's get a bit more serious now, Alistair is a great guy. The only reason he's not the hero of the story is because he doesn't want to. He has all the qualities of a leader: he's good at dealing with conflict (as evident with the conversation with the mage at the beginning. He gets where he wants to get without antagonizing the mage, but without allowing him to trample all over him). He's a solid tactitian and knows how to make allies (he suggests to use the Grey Warden treaties, after all). I bet if he was in the leadership position, he'd even not bicker with Morrigan. His moral code is pretty tight; some might say too tight, but I think it's less about the moral code and more about learning to judge people by their actions, not by the labels they fit into (Morrigan is a proud apostate and therefore bad. Wynne is a humble circle mage and therefore good). He also has a bit of a black-and-white way of seeing the world. I empathize a lot with Alistair, especially with his experience with the Chantry and his subsequent reluctance to deal with it. I really wish I had gotten to know more about concrete experiences he had during his training as templar, but he seems reluctant to talk about it (gee, I wonder why).

Since I've only played the game once, I haven't really picked up on Arl Eamon's abuse towards him, which apparently exists (Isolde, however... I mean, even if he were Eamon's illegitimate son, he's a kid, ma'am, he didn't exactly get to chose his parents. So that's so not okay). Alistair's way of speaking about them both, however, is either sign that he has not come within a hundred miles of acknowledging how much it hurt him, or that he's already gone through the whole process and has decided to forgive them. The latter shows a very strong character; yes, he relies on the approval and leadership of others, he has his issues, but he's already started working on them.

That being said, irl Alistair would be like a little brother to me. I'd tease him relentlessly (all in good fun and I promise to stop if it makes him uncomfortable, but he's just so teasable). I still wish the videogame gave him the chance to take important decisions for himself. But that, of course, would somewhat defeat the point of the game.

Leliana:

Another sweet, sweet person. Her singing voice is amazing. Her belief in the Maker inspires me (I'm a religious person and seeing religious characters represented in a positive light is Very Cool. It's also sometimes a source of discomfort, because the Church has done a lot of very messed up stuff and positive representation can sometimes veer into apologetics for things that should not be excused, but that's a whole other can of worms. The bottom line is that religious characters sometimes work for me and other times don't and Leliana works for me very much bc she's an outsider inside the Chantry).

Leliana is best friend material, tbh. I'd love to get to know her irl, discuss theology and philosophy and maybe even politics? She makes mistakes and has prejudices, but, tbh, so do I. And I do get the feeling that she tries her best to learn. From the times she intervenes in a conversation between the Warden and an NPC, she shows herself to be compassionate and open to the needs of others. What I get from her character is that she genuinely wants to help, which is something that I adore of her. I suspect that she sometimes has a hard time deciding wether she's a good person or not. She has killed and seduced and worked for a morally dubious person, and she doesn't show the same nonchalance about it as Zevran (though they both do discuss their line of work in very... professional terms). This is, however, more of a headcanon than actual factual canon.

I also very much enjoy her girly side, like her interest in shoes and dresses. She's one badass woman who also looses her cool about the latest fashions in Val Royeaux. I like that. Between her and Alistair, a non human noble Warden has as good a help to navigate the Fereldan court as they're going to get. Leliana is also, I can't forget that, clever and insightful. It'd be easy to write her off as the innocent chantry girl, but she's so much more than that. Her kindness is paired with foresight, I think. She knows that taking on the trouble to help now can go a long way in the future. I just have a lot of respect for her.

Loghain:

This one's gonna be short bc I didn't recruit him. He's an amazing villain and would probably be a great Warden as well. He reminds me of Denerhor from LOTR; once a hero/stewart of his people, ambition and desperation have driven them both down a terrible path. I have also only little idea about his past. People say he lost a lot, and I believe it wholeheartedly; it doesn't excuse the fact that he plunged the country into a civil war in the middle of a Blight. I don't have a lot of sympathy for short-sighted politicians. I wish he hadn't made himself regent. That's what I take away from his character.

Edit: One thing I forgot to mention that really impressed me was his death. I had Alistair duel him (that was a rough duel), and then it kinda just jumped to a cutscene of my Warden nodding and Alistair executing him. That didn't sit well with me. I didn't want to kill Loghain, and less so in front of Anora. But what impressed me was that Loghain just accepted it. That takes a whole lot of guts. Compare that to Howe's death, and how he screams out that he deserved (more, probably, or anything but death) and it's crystal clear who the more noble of the two is. Loghain strikes me as very lawful neutral, and any neutral alignment has the particularity that it can be dragged towards good or bad, sometimes without the characters noticing it (which is interesting from a DnD perspective; neutral is often concieved of as just as stable as good or evil, but that may not be true. But that's a different post). Anyway, Loghain's death was impactful.

Morrigan:

I could kick myself for not maxing out her approval in the first play-through. I got to enjoy a bit of her friendship by the end of it and boy was even that little bit worth it. Friendship with Morrigan is something that is hard-won. It's all the more precious because of that.

Morrigan is full of paradoxes, I think. She's incredibly wise in some ways, yet also very short-sighted (”just kill them, don't solve their problems”. Morrigan, dear, I'm not going to gain a lot of allies if I kill everybody who poses a problem to me). She is so intelligent, but emotionally... not so. She knows so much about some things, and very little about the next. She's incredibly wilful and knows what she wants, but follows Flemeth's orders all the time through. She hungers for power and independence, yet craves closeness, but won't allow herself to have it. She asks you to prove yourself to her and is extremely critical of your actions, I think, because she's afraid. She bites the hand that feeds her because it might hit her next.

Like with Eamon, I haven't managed to catch the undercurrent of abuse that seems to permeate Flemeth's relationship with Morrigan. Except there are signs, because there must be something Morrigan is scared of and who has instilled all that rage in her, and that's Flemeth. Also, she clearly hates/does not care about her and wants her dead (unless killing Flemeth was part of Flemeth's plan as well? Hm.)

Morrigan is that one person who you are nice to, continuously, because nobody else is. And suddenly she becomes less cold. And then friendly. And suddenly you're asking yourself why everybody hates her, because she's a really good friend! I just wish the other companions came to a similar conclusion, especially Alistair and Wynne.

Oghren:

They did this man dirty. He has such great lines and I'm convinced he was a great person before Branka disappeared. He has that dwarven warrior spirit, and while he looks like Gimli, some of his most impactful lines remind me of Dwalin or even Thorin Oakenshield himself. He could be so noble had he gotten some character development, damnit!

Oghren as he is written is somewhat disgusting. I hate the lechering comments and the drunkenness. And still, I don't hate him because of those amazing lines he has when he's actually sober. It's frustrating and I'll give him that character development myself if the game won't. I strongly associate the song Whiskey Lullaby with him, bc that's how he would have ended up if the Warden hadn't taken him along (warning: the song talks about suicide and alcoholism). Like I said, they could have done such cool things with his character. As he is written now... it's just sad. Moments of lucidity drowned in alcohol and creepy jokes. As you can see, I don't blame the character for either. The alcoholism happens all too often irl. The creepy jokes... I put that one on the writers' tab.

I actually think Oghren could have been a great mentor figure (I know, I shock myself as well sometimes). Next to the Grey Wardens, the ones who know most about fighting darkspawn are the dwarves because they have to deal with them constantly. Especially a warrior caste dwarf like Oghren could have brought a lot of that invaluable knowledge to the team, especially since there are no Grey Wardens in Ferelden but two extremely green recruits. Next, you get the chance to give Oghren the command of the teammates you leave behind in the battle of Denerim with the reason that he has lead men into battle before. Where did that suddenly come from? Oghren should have been right up there telling my Warden that they were doing this wrong, that they needed more food (and booze) and a confident leader to keep the armies they've called together going. Oghren should have been able to tell my civilian city elf who got recruited into the Grey Wardens a six months ago how one leads an army. How one presents oneself to inspire confidence, how one doesn't crack under the pressure, how one gets the leaders of said armies (some who hate each others guts i.e. Dalish elves and humans) to work together. And, last but not least, Oghren could have had a great story about grief. This is a man who has lost most of what made him (and what he hasn't lost he's spilling down the drain with every mug of ale). This is a man who, if you take him into the Deep Roads, has to see what his wife did to his family, how his wife got absolutely obsessed, and can be forced to kill said wife or watch her die. All Wardens loose their home and families at the start of the story. It would really have rounded the whole narrative out if the Warden and Oghren could have recognised their grief in each other and hashed it out somehow. Such as it is, Oghren is a depressed drunkard and there is nothing we can do about that. I find that frustrating.

Rascal (a.k.a. Dog):

Best boy. 100/10. I wish we had gotten to see the reaction of the different origins to the mabari (because elves probably have a whole different experience with them from mages or humans. And dwarves just... I think they straight up have none? XD). Other than that, no complaints. The name Rascal was the one I gave my dog because you have to be a right rascal to survive what he did and play the pranks he plays. Smartest breed in the world indeed.

Shale:

Shale is one of those characters that I recruited rather late in the game, so I haven't had the chance to explore their personality and worldview, really. I didn't even get to take them to the Deep Roads (this will be ammended in playthrough nr. 2). As such, I don't have particularly strong opinions on them (or her? The wiki refers to Shale as 'it', but that sounds weird). But, because I know so little about Shale, I have a lot of questions. First, what were they like before they were a golem? Shayle, as she was called then, was the best warrior of her time if I remember correctly. Why did she become a golem? Was it to be able to eternally protect her people? Was the sarcasm the golem Shale exhibits also part of the dwarven warrior Shayle or did that come later (if for thirty years you have nobody to talk to but yourself, you better be entertaining. And I can imagine how it could make somebody terribly jaded as well).

Next, how attached is Shale to their golem form, exactly? According to the banter, they infinitely prefer it to a squishy fleshy form. If that is the case, however, why go to Tevinter to try and become a squishy dwarf again? It's not like that process could be reversed if they wanted to become a golem again; if Shale survives to the end of the game, the Anvil of the Void is destroyed and Caridin is dead. Was the whole spiel about their indestructible form a façade? It might have been, but not because Shale actually disliked their form. I think it would have more to do with the loss of their memories and with the very invasive experiments and alterations of Shale's body made by the mage Wilhelm. The loss of memories means that Shale is unable to remember life as a fleshy creature. They might be deflecting by pretending that they didn't care for that experience anyway because of the superiority of their golem form. The modifications made to their form by Wilhelm would have alienated them from their body. In light of this, it's significant that Shale asks the Warden to decorate their form with crystals.

All of this is, of course, pure speculation. I may have easily missed or forgotten details that would disprove the above thoughts. All in all, I like Shale and I hope we meet them again in DA4 (given that it's mostly set in Tevinter). It's a liking from a respectful distance, because Shale is tall and made out of rock and also way more experienced than I will ever be (they are literally the oldest member of the Warden's little Blight fighting squad).

Sten:

Sten is another person I'd keep a respectful distance from physically. That seems to be the what he would prefer, at least. I've enjoyed his character a lot, especially because he seems pretty clear-cut at first, but slowly lets the nuance of his person show (gruff and stoic, but then he has an eye for art, a sweet tooth and he likes cute animals). It's also very interesting that there's no moment when you learn "the truth" about him the way you do with Zevran or Leliana. There's no big reveal about his life under the Qun before coming to Ferelden. He says he was sent to monitor the Blight, but honestly? If neither Ferelden nor Orlais knew there was a Blight, how could the Qunari know? I think he's lying, and he takes his secrets back with him when he leaves Ferelden. And yet I think I know him enough to say that a Warden who has become friends with him has nothing to fear from Sten.

One thing I find very interesting about Sten is how he thinks. His conversation about how women can't be soldiers has been analysed a lot on this page I think. He seems to be arguing based on a different paradigma than the one the Warden has. He also seems to have a very clear-cut view of the world. What is fascinating to me is that, when arguing with the Warden and learning about their culture, he is not necessarily becoming more lax about his worldview. I think it's more likely that he is expanding his paradigma, the structure of thought through which he understands the world. I don't think that he is now convinced that women can be warriors as well. I think he rather understands that, in Ferelden, the relationship between occupation and gender is different than under the Qun. Which of the two he thinks is more right or more agreeable, I have no idea. I'm also not very interested in that. But I find it fascinating how he always seems to be looking on quietly, gathering data, classifying it and trying to fit it into his understanding of how the world works. I wouldn't be surprised at all if his original party was a scouting party to see how vulnerable Ferelden was at that moment to outside forces. One thing I don't understand with all of this is why he urges the Warden to meet the Blight head on. No smart soldier would suggest that, except if they are foolishly proud (and Sten doesn't seem like that kind of guy tbh). I get that the Warden takes way longer to gather allies than expected because they first have to solve all of their allies' problems. But surely Sten sees the need to have allies? Is he just that impatient? Does he have a death wish (à la, I lost my sword and am without honour, better to die sooner than later and in glorious battle)? Was he his group's previous commander and is he now having trouble following somebody else's orders? Or maybe it's his way to make sure the Warden knows what they are doing? To push them into becoming the self-assured commander their allies will need once they're all gathered? I really don't know. I like the last option best, however.

For me, Sten is my fellow, more experienced soldier. Like Alistair, he can potentially be the Warden's brother in arms, but he's definitely the older brother here. He probably doesn't take kindly to tearful confessions of how hard everything is, but I feel like he's otherwise a solid rock to lean on. I feel like the Warden can trust him to do what is necessary and count on him no matter what, especially after they get his sword back. His devotion from that point on is honestly so powerful.

Wynne:

Wynne was such a support for my Warden (except with the whole conversation about love vs. duty and that she may have to choose between Zevran and ending the Blight and that she should therefore break up with him. Wynne had a point. Astala was so not willing to sacrifice her relationship with Zevran. But the whole conversation came at a point where she was already so disillusioned that she blew up in Wynne's face (”can i please just have one (1) nice thing????”)). But all in all, Wynne is great.

She has a lot of flaws. She was very marked by her life in the Cricle and, for all her age, she has little experience living outside of it. She is also a conformist despite her strong moral core. In a way, her ability to find peace with her lot in life impresses me deeply because it speaks to a lot of strength of character. Sadly, however, strength can be ill applied and used to suppress. I think she has convinced herself that the Chantry is right under (almost) all circumstances to be able to rationalize the life that mages live. She's had her son taken away from her as a baby and an apprentice killed. Her reaction seems to have been to convince herself that this was right, or for the greater good (and now I'm thinking about the Guardian's question at the temple of Andraste's Ashes; are you wise or do you just repeat what others have told you? The answer is not as clear-cut as it might be). This is why she is so irritated by Zevran and Morrigan. By aligning herself with the Chantry, she is, in her eyes, good. Zevran and Morrigan are not; they do not conform to Chantry morality and they defend themselves tooth and nails against somebody who would try and convert them. This is something Wynne never allowed herself to do; she always did the "right" thing and it has cost her so much. I'm not saying she was right (it would probably have done her some good to rebel from time to time, and to trust her own gut instinct more), but in light of this, it hardly surprises me that she's so judgamental. She has to be, or she would be forced to confront all the evil she has not fought against all those years and all the hurt that has been caused to her by the very institution she protects (and thank God she only tries to argue and can appreciate it when people have found a good life outside of her comfort zone. If she tried to convince by force or, for example, drag her former apprentice back to the Circle... boy oh boy that would get ugly). If you think about it, Wynne really is a good example for what happens if you live by a philosophy of always choosing the lesser evil.

Something that I keep forgetting over her grandmotherly and dignified character is how damn powerful she is. She has escaped the carnage at Ostagar; HOW!? She protected those mage apprentices in the Circle tower for God knows how long. In the battle of Denerim, she wades through an army and comes out alive on the other side. The wiki lists her age at 40, I think, but that doesn't make a lick of sense unless 75 years of age are the Fereldan equivalent to 100. This lady, about whom people make grandmother jokes, did all that. It's impressive.

Zevran:

You know, I would really love to know what Wynne thinks about the events at Kirkwall in DA2. It might be a disaster for her, or it might pave the way for one last bit of character development. She certainly didn't want to return to the Circle after fighting the Blight. That may be an indicator of some change in her stance on the Circle of Magi.

Edit: I forgot that she is what the Circle considers a literal abomination! Holy cow, how could I forget that?? Anyway, her conversation about what being an abomination means is so... heartbreaking, actually. It's so tentative. So careful. "Am I an abomination? Am I the same thing that has killed my students? The same thing as Uldred? Am I lost and damned? Did I invite this spirit in? Is this my fault?" Like wow, Wynne is going through something huge right there. I love it. I have to continue playing the game to see what it ends up as, but it's fascinating and such a huge thing that she allows the Warden in on that.

Ah, Zevran, my beloved (he has stolen my heart so much it's not even funny anymore). He's funny, he's charming, he's so so loyal and it breaks my heart. Zevran is the one about whom I've read most meta: these three wonderful posts for instance, as well as this one about his possible lack of scars, and this one about his lack of freedom. All of these have influenced my opinion of him and they are great reads.

I have talked about Zevran with you before, so I'll just skip to the new stuff. I have come to conclusion that Zevran is an artist at heart. This is totally not biased by the fact that I also do art, but hear me out. One of his preferred gifts are bars of silver and gold. While those have the obvious utility of basically functioning as money (they can be sold to any silversmith or goldsmith and their value is pretty stable through time and in different countries), there's also this from his codex: "Zevran shows an affinity for the finer things in life—hardly surprising for an Antivan Crow—but his appreciation can be more poetic than he lets on. A simple bar of refined silver or gold, uncomplicated by a craftsman's hammer, is elegantly valuable." Tell me that is not an artist's eye that sees that gold and sees the beauty in it. Then, there's also the meta about Zevran the Seducer which I linked above and link here again. It talks specifically about how he lets himself enjoy the target and be seen in his enjoyment. Tell me that is not an artist's eye that beholds the beauty of something he is set out to destroy. Even his talk about his assassinations show this. He talks about it as an art, the way somebody would talk about the brutal intervention in stone that produces a sculpture. Yes, it's a rationalization of the act of killing and yes killing is still wrong. But he doesn't go on about it on a moral tangent the way Alistair or Wynne would (”this person was bad, killing them was necessary”) or even through the argument of survival like Morrigan would (”it was either them or me and it sure as Hell wasn't going to be me”). He talks about the pleasure of a job well done, of the satisfaction of striking the precise point and executing a plan to the perfection so as to minimize chances of discovery and to make a clean death possible. And pleasure in seeing and in doing, this I firmly believe, is absolutely fundamental for an artist.

My favourite part about my Warden and Zevran as a pairing is that Zevran precisely brings out that ability to take your pleasures as they come and to really savour them. Fighting the Blight is tough; it's so important to find good things amidst the chaos to stay sane. If Astala saves Zevran from himself by offering him a place to stay and a purpose, Zevran saves Astala from herself by keeping her from running herself into the ground trying to save the world.

There are some things I don't like about Zev. The incessant flirting, for example, sometimes makes me uncomfortable (it becomes enjoyable for me once the Warden and him are in a relationship, but before that? Nah, no thanks). I wish he would also leave the other female characters alone (and there's so many more shameless comments of his aimed at Morrigan, Leliana or Wynne than at Alistair or maybe even Sten).

---

And that's my take on the Origins companions (this was rather long. Whew ^^' I hope it was still readable and that you enjoyed it!!) Thank you so much for the ask!! It's been a joy thinking about this. I was worrying at first that the less prominent companions like Sten or Shale wouldn't get as much content but... well XD

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neopronounsmybelovaed · 2 years

Text

I posted 1,744 times in 2021

1444 posts created (83%)

300 posts reblogged (17%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.2 posts.

I added 3,074 tags in 2021

#asks - 909 posts

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Longest Tag: 131 characters

#but then like three paragraphs later he was talking about this dude and said 'his beauty far surpassed [the girl he just rejected]'

My Top Posts in 2021

If your pronouns wouldn't make a TERF angry, then really, what's the point?

175 notes • Posted 2021-06-19 16:02:45 GMT

I am blowing a platonic kiss to anyone who coined their own pronouns, you didn't like any of the options so you invented a new option. That's so cool.

328 notes • Posted 2021-06-29 16:02:35 GMT

"Why do you use neopronouns?" An alignment chart

I am somehow literally all of them except chaotic neutral.

[Image description: An alignment chart. It reads Lawful good- "they best represent my gender" Neutral good- "gender euphoria" Chaotic good- "i just think they're neat" Lawful neutral- "he/she/they doesn't fit" True neutral- "because i do idk" Chaotic neutral- "started ironically now i'm hooked" Lawful evil- "pisses off transphobes" Neutral evil- "greed. i want the biggest hoard." Chaotic evil- "fuck societal norms"]

I swear this isn't the only thing I'm doing with the survey data

356 notes • Posted 2021-10-07 01:25:31 GMT

Why might someone use neopronouns?

Neither he, she, nor they is right for them

They want to avoid the "they is plural!" bullshit

English is not their native language, and their language doesn't have a neutral option

Neopronouns give them more gender euphoria than he/she/they

They want to fuck with societal norms of gender

They want to express something important to them, like pronouns based on a hyperfixation, or with cultural significance

Neopronouns are just cool

Feel free to add on with any other reasons you use neopronouns, or someone else might use neopronouns!

993 notes • Posted 2021-06-29 10:01:08 GMT

All neopronoun users deserve to see a very cool frog today. I don't make the rules.

1220 notes • Posted 2021-09-19 22:00:00 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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rnelodyy · 3 years

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C!Dream, the status quo, and why conflict is okay sometimes.

In this fandom, there is a lot of talk about conflict, who causes it, who avoids it, who is to blame for it, et cetera. An argument often heard from c!Dream apologists to justify his abysmal treatment of L’Manburg in general and c!Tommy in specific is “He was just trying to stop people causing conflict! He was protecting the server by stopping these conflict-causing maniacs!”

And it’s not hard to see where they get this idea from, because c!Dream repeats this sentiment a lot, from his “happy family” speech, to the speech during the final disc war about how c!Tommy causes constant conflict, to the fact that he always portrays himself as a reasonable authority figure trying to calm down these feral creatures always fighting with one another (and we’ll get to that idea…).

My reasoning for explaining how c!Dream’s worldview is deeply flawed may be a bit controversial, so I decided to write this essay to explore the following idea:

Sometimes, conflict is good actually.

(all /dsmp /rp, names refer to characters, not content creators)

Conflict, in itself, is morally neutral. It’s the context surrounding the conflict that allows us to ascribe morality to it. This fact makes this topic a LOT harder to discuss, because morality is subjective. What I’m writing here is all my own opinion, you may agree or disagree on some points, I just ask that you read it through and please don’t start shit over this.

Anyway, the context. It’s dependent on a number of factors.

Justification. Why was the conflict started?

Intent. What is the desired outcome for either party?

Proportionality. If the conflict is started out of revenge or punishment, is it proportionate to the wrong committed?

Power Dynamic. Is the person on the receiving end more, less, or equally as powerful as the person starting the conflict?

For example, let’s compare the L’Manburg War for Independence with the intervention during the Final Disc War.

Justification:

Dream declared war on L’Manburg because he saw them as traitors, and the land they occupied as rightfully his. Therefore, them making a country of their own where his rules didn’t apply was a violation of the status quo he wanted to uphold.

Punz and the others intervened because they didn’t want Dream to kill Tommy and/or Tubbo, and were tired of his constant meddling in their affairs.

Intent:

Dream’s intent was to attack L’Manburg until they surrendered, no matter how much hurt he’d cause or how many lives he’d take.

Punz and the other’s intent was to stop Dream from killing Tommy and Tubbo, and stop whatever plan he had to keep the server under control.

Proportionality:

L’Manburg declared independence in response to brutal violence as retribution for clumsy attempts at crime, on land nobody except Wilbur was using, were explicitly pacifistic and invited Dream to make an embassy in their land to discuss trade. Dream responded by declaring war, destroying their land, luring them into a trap and killing them, and continuing to beat them down until they surrendered.

Punz and the others intervened after Dream dragged two teenagers out into the wilderness to fight him, with little chance of them ever returning. This was after months of Dream’s meddling in conflicts he had nothing to do with, trying to control people’s actions, ripping Tommy away from his home and abusing him in secret and, in the end, destroying the place most synonymous with freedom from his rule. They intervened by getting Tommy and Tubbo to safety, letting Tommy (the kid who arguably suffered the most at Dream’s hands) take his items and beat him to death twice, then locking him up in prison.

Power Dynamic:

L’Manburg was significantly less powerful than Dream and his goons, with less skilled fighters and heavily inferior gear. They held their position fairly okay at the start, but after the Final Control Room, they were basically defenseless against Dream’s assault.

Dream had always had unprecedented power on the server. He’s leveled entire countries, crowns and dethrones kings when he feels like it, overruled the decision of a court of law, and in the end, had Tommy and Tubbo completely at his mercy before the intervention. Even beating Dream was seen as such an insurmountable task that it took fourteen people (excluding Clingyduo) to take him down.

The thing about conflict, even violent conflict, is that it’s not always negative. If your sister is being abused by her boyfriend and refuses to report it out of fear, you’re gonna be hard-pressed to find someone unable to sympathize with you if you go over to his house and break his nose.

What is a defining feature of conflict, is that it disrupts the status quo.

That’s not to say that some characters are always disruptors and others always preservers of the status quo. For example, during the Disc War, Tommy is the one trying to preserve and Dream the one trying to disrupt (the status quo being: Tommy owns the discs), and during the L’Manburg War for Independence, Tommy and Wilbur are disrupting while Dream is preserving (the status quo being: Dream has absolute power and the entire server needs to follow his rules).

It’s ALSO not to say that this disruption is always bad, because sometimes, the status quo fucking sucks, and throwing it on its head is the right thing to do. Overthrowing Schlatt is seen by everyone on the SMP and pretty much every fan as morally correct, as while Schlatt being president was the status quo, it meant he was ruling as a dictator, exiling his political opponents, imprisoning and heavily taxing dissenters, being verbally and physically abusive to his cabinet members, and forcing a guest at his festival to execute a sixteen year-old boy for spying for the political opponent he exiled.

Conflict being a genuinely good force of societal change isn’t usually brought up in the fandom though, at least not consciously. A lot of people, both on the server and IRL, see conflict only as a source of hurt and pain, and try to prevent or avoid it as much as possible.

And here’s where Dream differs from someone like Ranboo. Because while both Dream and Ranboo operate on the assumption that all conflict is bad all the time, Ranboo shows this by becoming conflict-avoidant to the extreme, to the point where he refuses to pick sides in pretty much any conflict, no matter how obviously good or evil one side is. Meanwhile, Dream shows this by becoming controlling to the extreme. Mitigating conflict isn’t enough, he needs to control everything to prevent all conflict ever.

In Ranboo’s case, this is less due to ideology and more due to personality. Ranboo is a deeply anxious person, and hates being in the middle of fights. He’s also… not very self-critical? He has issues with self-worth, but he very rarely takes a look in the mirror to inspect what it actually is he believes and says, making him very gullible and convinced of his own righteousness. But while that’s a VERY interesting character trait, Ranboo’s conflict-avoidance doesn’t make him a very good character to examine in the context of conflict and what it means.

So let’s look at Dream. Because, despite claiming to want to stop conflict, Dream CONSTANTLY starts conflicts or escalates existing ones. The L’Manburg War for Independence could’ve been entirely avoided if Dream hadn’t lashed out so heavily at a nation of pacifists who made their own area to avoid violence from authorities. As I explored in my George Vod Analysis, the griefing of George’s house would’ve been a lighthearted dispute between two people if Dream hadn’t taken over the entire thing and turned it into one of the biggest diplomatic crises in the server’s history. Mexican L’Manburg hadn’t even existed for an hour before Dream came by to kill its residents and destroy its land.

So why is Dream so focused on stopping conflict, despite constantly starting it himself? Why is THAT his hill to die on?

Simple. Dream wants to prevent disruptions to the status quo. That status quo being “Dream is the one in power and everyone has to listen to him.”

But you can’t say that out loud. If you say “everyone needs to listen to me otherwise it’s not fair”, you sound like a whiny five year-old at best, and a tyrant at worst. So, instead of saying that, Dream says “I just want to prevent conflict, keep the server peaceful.”

Remember what I said about one party being the disruptor and another being the preserver? Well, Dream’s status in the early days of the server is almost always preserver of the status quo. The only times he’s the disruptor is if disrupting that status quo serves to strengthen the status quo of him being in power. For example: Stealing Tommy’s discs is a disruption of the “Tommy’s discs are his and his alone” status quo, but strengthens the “Dream is the most powerful dude on the server” status quo, because the discs give him power over Tommy.

By fighting L’Manburg, he was trying to preserve the status quo, because having a government on the server meant he no longer had absolute power. Hell, REALLY early on, he decided to kill George and burn all his stuff because George had full diamond while everyone else was still running around in iron armor.

However, after L’Manburg’s independence, Dream’s focus shifted. Instead of preserving the status quo, he’d disrupt it in order to return to the status quo as HE wanted it, with no nations, and himself at the top.

But again, that wouldn’t look good. Making yourself the undisputed ruler of the entire server is not good for optics, so instead, Dream hides behind the excuse that he’s just trying to stop conflict, or seeking retribution for slights against his nation.

By this point, Tommy, the only person who CONSTANTLY refuses to bow to his demands, becomes his scapegoat. Tommy is loud, enjoys chaos and getting on people’s nerves, and causes, admittedly, a LOT of conflict. Lighthearted, non-serious conflict with very little actual consequences, but conflict nonetheless. It’s not hard for him to start smearing Tommy’s name, painting him as this feral child at fault for every conflict ever, mostly because a lot of people already believed something like that to be true.

The idea that Tommy is uniquely destructive or chaotic is complete bullshit. Tommy is definitely on the more chaotic side, but he’s not that much more chaotic or destructive than your average server member, he’s just really loud and annoying about it, which makes the things he DOES do stick out more. But Dream, especially during the Exile Conflict, continuously pushed the idea that Tommy is the only one creating conflict on the server, that Tommy is responsible for all conflict ever, and that without Tommy, everyone would be at peace.

And at some point… Dream started believing this himself.

His speech during the Final Disc War illustrates this perfectly. He tells Tommy that ever since he joined, there’s been nothing but war and terrorism and conflict, and that those originated from the attachments Tommy brought to the server. That, by cutting off his own attachments, exploiting everyone else’s, and getting rid of Tommy, he could restore the old status quo, before L’Manburg, before Tommy, when everything was peaceful and no conflict existed. Except, Tommy is too fun to fuck with, so instead of killing him, Dream was going to lock Tommy up in Pandora’s Vault, probably for the rest of his life, to continue breaking him.

This is a prime example of Dream falling for his own bullshit.

First of all, Tommy didn’t cause all those wars, he was actually on the receiving end of most of them. A vast majority of the wars and terrorism Tommy got caught up in were actually started by Dream, or Dream was actively helping the guy who started it.

Second, Tommy didn’t bring the concept of attachment to the server. He gets very attached to things, true, but attachment is a very basic part of the human condition. Even Dream, the guy openly shunning all attachment, isn't immune to it, in the end, he’s attached to the server as a whole, and Tommy, who he gave almost biblical importance in his narrative. Like Tommy said, if you have no attachment to things, why does anything matter at all?

Third, getting rid of Tommy and controlling the entire server with their attachments… that wouldn’t have restored the status quo, because the status quo exactly as Dream envisioned it never existed. He’s not chasing a past that was ruined by Tommy, he’s chasing an idealized fairytale version of the past where everyone was friends and frolicked around in the fields and there was never any conflict, before Tommy came along and ruined everything. Before Tommy joined, there was a SHIT ton of conflict, from minor disputes over theft, to the above-mentioned incident where Dream destroyed George’s stuff, to the lemon tree conflicts that wound up being taken to court!

Except, even this idea of Dream wanting to restore an idealized, made-up past is only partially true. What Dream is looking to return to and uphold is a world where he was the only authority and nobody questioned him. The status quo he wants to return to, no matter how much he denies it, is the one where everyone was at his mercy and he could do whatever he wanted without impunity. However, because he’s convinced himself that conflict is the issue, not disobedience, even if his plan succeeded, he’d have to keep the entire server in a chokehold to get them to follow his ideal plan.

Because conflict is inevitable. Anywhere where there’s two or more people sharing a space, you’re going to run into conflict at some point. People will have disagreements, they will fight, they will have miscommunications, they will have a bad day or accident and antagonize someone else.

Resolving these issues through conflict, whether it’s verbal, physical or legal, will result in a healthier community in the long run, because people’s pent-up frustrations will get an outlet, and people will try to hash out compromises or accommodations based on the reactions they get. It’s not always the ideal solution, but it’s better than just sitting everyone down, telling them to play nice, and smacking them over the back of the head as soon as they start complaining.

But conflict threatens the status quo. And as Dream involves himself in more and more conflict, they increasingly start threatening HIS status quo. So in order to maintain his status quo, conflict needs to be stomped out as soon as it crops up, no matter how minor it is.

So, now to paint a timeline through this lens.

Dream started off as the ultimate power on the server, able to do whatever he wanted without consequence. Tommy joined and threatened that status quo, but he was just one guy, so keeping him away and occupied wasn’t too hard. It was fun, even.

Then L’Manburg came, and posed the first substantial threat to Dream’s rule. Dream tried crushing this rebellion before it had a chance to take root, but in the end, Tommy traded his discs (the things Dream was using to control him) for L’Manburg’s independence. The status quo changed, L’Manburg was here to stay.

However, L’Manburg still posed a threat to Dream’s rule, so manipulating events to destroy it became Dream’s next priority. He supported Schlatt during the election in the hope he’d destabilize the nation, then sided with Pogtopia in secret to help overthrow the government, then helped Wilbur with the TNT to blow L’Manburg sky high, then betrayed Pogtopia for Schlatt’s side for the revival book. When Pogtopia won, Dream was egging Techno on through whispers to try to get him to go ape shit, so with Techno’s withers and Wilbur’s TNT, L’Manburg was gone, and the old status quo had been restored.

Except it hadn’t been. L’Manburg was rebuilt, with Tubbo at the helm this time, and a new status quo was put in place, with L’Manburg still there and still a threat. However, with Wilbur’s death, Tommy was left almost completely unprotected, and Dream took his chance to get Tommy thrown out of the country, hoping to get his biggest threat out of the way, as well as being able to sink his claws into the L’Manburg Cabinet.

Dream isolated Tommy in exile and tried to break him to the point where he wouldn’t put up any resistance. During this time, he also commissioned the prison, which he claimed to only be for the most dangerous members of the server, but is a pretty transparent attempt to enforce his rule by making a place where he can stick anyone who disobeys him. The server is slipping more and more out of his control, with more factions popping up and more people outright defying him, so like any dictator, he takes harsher and harsher measures to stay on top.

Tommy escapes exile, and while Dream is keeping tabs on him, he can’t directly control him anymore. So, to prevent Tommy from returning to L’Manburg and stopping his plans at disrupting the status quo, he blows up the community house, frames Tommy for it, and goes to Tubbo to demand Tommy’s disc, the only reason destroying L’Manburg was disadvantageous for him. Tommy jumps in to defend himself and takes L’Manburg’s side, but in the end, Dream takes both the discs, then destroys L’Manburg with Techno.

By this point, the status quo Dream wanted to craft is almost complete. L’Manburg is gone, there are no other major factions threatening his rule, and he’s pretty much set a precedent for what happens to dissenters. All he needs to do now is get rid of Tommy.

Except he can’t kill him. Over time, Dream has become obsessed with Tommy, to the point where he’s started seeing Tommy as the lynchpin of the server that everyone else gravitates around. Tommy is almost a living MacGuffin: he brings chaos and attachment which gives him power, but in the right hands, that power can be harnessed to create order.

(This is absolute nonsense of course, Tommy is just A Guy, his presence itself doesn’t create chaos, and controlling him doesn’t mean controlling the entire server because a lot of people just plain don’t give a shit.)

So instead of killing him, Dream tries to put him in prison. He even outright says that he wants to finish what he started in exile, this time with even tighter control and no possibility for escape.

He goes to kill Tubbo for multiple reasons: Tubbo is no longer useful to him, Tubbo can be used as leverage to keep Tommy compliant in prison (the possibility to revive someone’s best friend is a pretty valuable bargaining chip), and Tubbo would absolutely raise hell if Dream threw his best friend in jail for no reason.

If Dream had gotten his way, he’d be able to blackmail everyone on the server into compliance. Tommy, his scapegoat, would’ve been in prison, so now without a scapegoat, he could’ve probably gone one of two ways.

He could’ve created a new scapegoat to blame all new conflict on. Quackity would’ve been a good candidate, he’s VEHEMENTLY anti-Dream, and would’ve had no qualms about starting shit with him. Whether it was with El Rapids or with Las Nevadas, Quackity would’ve been the biggest anti-Dream voice in Tommy’s absence. So c!Dream would keep Quackity around, blaming him for everything that goes wrong… Until Quackity would get too uppity and either gets murdered or put in jail with Tommy, and the cycle repeats until either people rise up, or everyone who isn’t completely subservient is in prison.

Or, he could’ve cracked down EVEN HARDER on conflict. Anyone creating a new nation gets stomped into the dirt, anyone fighting over resources gets murdered, anyone squabbling over griefed property gets thrown in prison for weeks at a time, all the while their property and pets that they care about more than anything else get dangled in front of their noses. Anyone who’s ever read any more than five pages about the dynamics of dictatorships can see that this kind of repression is basically ASKING for revolution, especially since Dream has shunned all friendships at this point and his only ally is only there because Dream pays him.

(this is all speculation, we don’t know what would’ve actually happened, dont yell at me)

The status quo Dream is trying to return to never existed, and the one he creates in the process isn’t sustainable. Stopping every conflict ever is completely unsustainable and detrimental to the larger community, which Dream knows, because he uses conflict CONSTANTLY to get his way, while still presenting himself as a peacekeeper. What he’s really against is disruptions of the status quo, because the status quo allows him to do whatever he wants and control the server as much as he wants.

Conflict isn’t inherently bad. Some conflicts are harmless, some are necessary disruptions of the status quo. Conflict itself is morally neutral, and trying to prevent all conflict ever leads into some… iffy territory. Remember when Ranboo yelled at the L’Manburgians for participating in conflict the day before Doomsday?

Anyway. Please examine situations with more nuance than “conflict bad”, it’ll make for much better analysis. Trust me. /nm

#dream smp #dsmp analysis #dsmp meta #dreamwastaken #c!dream #idk if this made any sense at all #i feel like i just slapped a buncha stuff in a google doc and completely bullshitted a conclusion from it #but anyway #just something to think abt i guess

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billiewena · 3 years

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top 5 spn characters

helllll yeah.

5. ruby

her impact!!! BEST villain ever! she’s so evil that she earned by sam’s trust by….genuinely caring about him!! keeping him from drinking!!! saving his and his brother’s life multiple times!!! training him!!! making him stronger!! she also just has such a cool story, from her past as a witch to her history with alistair & lilith to her time in hell. she may have fallen for the target a little but she got her job DONE and waited until after the reveal to make her epic speech. she served cunt and died, fr.

4. bobby

BOBBYYYYY. his dynamic with the brothers is just so important to me. he’s seen them at their highs and lows and supported them all through it. and then once you learn HIS story??? he was so sure he’d never be a father or a good one…and yet!! death’s door is a guaranteed cryfest every time I watch it.

3. rowena

it's a miracle a female character as complex and flawed as her got to be a part of this show, but boy am I glad she was. she never hides who she is and in fact celebrates the fun & evil parts of her, but there’s so much more to her than meets the eye. centuries of hurt, pain, and trauma that only motivate her to be stronger and better. she thought she was beyond redemption but got it anyways. all while being a hot, powerful witch MILF? no one’s doing it like her. I…I love her. <3

2. billie

LOOK YOUR HONOR. as the lawful neutrals of spn, the reapers are just my favorite in general (they’re just trying to do their job!!!!) but billie changed the GAME. she's so fun but also has such a respect for the rules. she never lets the winchesters forget she can yeet them into the empty at any given time. she makes dean sing a password to get into hell. she calls them "mario and luigi." she gets killed and simply comes back with a promotion. I also genuinely love how she changes and evolves as Death. while she remains dedicated to the natural order, she becomes less harsh about it and even sympathetic to dean and rowena. it’s so fun to see them go from openly hating the winchesters to being amused and begrudging to them to understanding their part in the bigger picture. it leads to so many good moments, i.e. realizing dean WANTING to die makes it no fun for her especially since it wasn’t even his time

(sidenote and this probably goes without saying but the fact that they tried to retcon everything she was about to make another “manipulative” villain in s15 is my villain origin story. especially when the point she was trying to make all along ended up being the final theme of the show: that the winchesters need to stop the resurrections and stop making exceptions for themselves. they were the ONLY true neutral character and it should’ve stayed that way)

...ANYWAYSSSS they're just such a fun "tell it like it is" character and the fact that their actress headcanons them as she/he/they is just the perfect cherry on top. they deserved to reap god and run the place <3

1. castiel

hannah was right! HE’S the reason!!! like I don’t even know what to say about him without sobbing and I'm sure many other people have said better but like!!! he’s possibly my favorite fictional character just…ever!!! he's this ancient being who's seen the dawn of time and creation of man...but he loves guinea pigs and Beyonce and is a dad and is a GAY dad and I just!!! there’s so many weird layers to him and he just became more lovable and endearing as time went on, and truly became the heart of the show.

honorable mentions: like so many but eileen, rufus, crowley, kevin, all the waywards, garth, charlie, jack, jo, naomi, etc. come to mind first. oh and sam and dean I GUESS (kidding kidding I love them too I swear <3)

also, shout-out to my boy Death too because tbh he is basically is a tie for billie's spot for me. iconic entrances, iconic lines, iconic actors…I love them both so much. this IS a reapers and Death stan account.

put “top 5” anything in my ask and I will answer

#thank you whoever you are!! I have way too many favorites so this was hard lol #spn had way too many cool side characters for their own good #asks #ask game #long post #castiel #billie spn #billie supernatural #rowena macleod #bobby singer #ruby spn #ruby supernatural

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monstersdownthepath · 3 years

Text

Demigod Dossier: Velstrac Demagogues, part 1

Pictured: Aroggus, the Abbey-Maker

Lawful Evil Mad Artists of the Shadow Plane

The Complete Book of the Damned, pg. 120~121 Additional information is also present in Adventure Path: Return of the Runelords: The City Outside of Time, pg. 74~79

Our second-ever Demigod Dossier, now fully in-swing! The Velstrac Demagogues are the rulers of the Shadow Plane and all the lives within, though many of said lives within aren’t really fans of them. Natives to the Netherworld find the presence of the Velstrac an annoyance at best and a threat to their lives at worst, and would much prefer if they went back to Hell where they came from, but unfortunately for everyone everywhere they don’t appear too eager to throw themselves into the jaws of the inferno just yet. Instead, they’re busy throwing themselves into the jaws of one another.

The Demagogues represent the pinnacle of a specific subset of the Velstrac’s twisted senses of ‘art’ and ‘perfection,’ either because they’ve mutilated themselves into something wholly unlike anything else that can, did, or could exist, or they’ve pioneered a form of artistry that other Velstrac couldn’t even conceptualize in the first place and gathered a fandom. It takes some very twisted, alien forms of thinking to become a Demagogue and get others rallied behind you, even moreso because the Velstrac themselves are, putting it kindly, completely out of their gourd. When your audience already expects the insane and outlandish, you have to go even further, and many of the fiends you’ll soon see have.

We’ll only be covering four in this initial post, with the rest to be saved for later...

Demagogues view mortals as little more than primal clay to be shaped, and thus see little worth in investing true divine power into them, worshipers receive Boons that are are relatively simple: a trio of spell-like abilities, each of which may be used 1/day. Boons are normally gained slowly, at levels 12, 16, and 20, however entering the Evangelist, Exalted, or Sentinel Prestige Classes can see the Boons gained as early as levels 10, 13, and 16. Note that while they are Lawful Evil fiends originally from Hell, they are not devils, thus you cannot enter the Diabolist Prestige Class to obtain their Boons without DM fiat.

Aroggus, the Abbey-Maker

Demagogue of Possibility, Revenge, and Sanctuary Domains: Evil, Law, Protection, Trickery Subdomains: Deception, Defense, Fear, Tyranny

Obedience: List the names of those who have wronged you until the writing covers a page, then consume the parchment. Benefit: Gain a +4 profane bonus on saving throws to resist compulsion effects.

What a completely normal, sane, and healthy thing to do! As the first of the Demagogues to flee from Hell, Aroggus is EXTREMELY angry at the devils for locking them up in the first place. Angry enough to want revenge on the whole of the diabolic race, as well as the Asura... Angry enough that he hasn’t yet even started getting around to enacting his revenge, instead just constantly thinking about and refining it as if no iteration of suffering is perfect enough to match his fury.

True to form, he wants you to ruminate in your anger rather than doing anything to enact your vengeance, blacking out a page with the names (or just one name) of all who’ve wronged you no matter how petty or insignificant the inconvenience they may have caused. Unfortunately, no two ways about it, you’re going to look insane (in the literal definition of the term) doing this every day, especially if you only have one or two people who’ve wronged you enough to get onto your list. Scrawling their name, front AND back, until the page is filled and then eating it is behavior that will raise eyebrows no matter who you’re adventuring with. Best to keep this one behind closed doors. Make sure you have a glass of activated charcoal after, because all of that ink day after day (unless you write with, I don’t know, berry juice or blood) is going to do amazingly terrible things to your constitution.

The benefit is good. Compulsions are typically Save-Or-Suck effects, so having more Save means less Suck for you later on. It’s useful at any point in your adventure, so I can’t say anything bad about it! My only wish is that it was a little stronger, since some other gods give +4 vs compulsion and charm effects.

Boon 1: Nondetection Boon 2: Forcecage Boon 3: Imprisonment

Nondectection is a good spell for those times when you need to sneak by diviners, hide magic items from scrutiny, avoid the gaze of a Paladin who’s a little too judicious with Detect Evil, or to add another layer of shroud over Invisibility and the like. It’s a spell that’s a pain to prepare every single day, but useful to have when you need it... but you only have one casting of it per day, so using it wisely is paramount. Ironically, it combines well with your own Divination to find out if you’ll even need it later. More often than not you won’t be using it at all except to idly ward yourself when going into town or diving into a dungeon.

Forcecage is a completely different animal, the offensive and defensive applications of the spell simply mind-blowing, to the point that keeping this to just one paragraph to save space is going to take some herculean effort on my part! So, the basics: Forcecage has two versions, both of which halt all movement through them: A 20ft square of force bars that allow spells, projectiles, and line-of-effect through, and a 10ft cube that blocks line-of-effect and all forms of magic and supernatural abilities. A Forcecage is effectively invincible (having Hardness 30 and 20hp/level) and impossible to move, so anyone trapped inside without the ability to teleport is likely to stay there for the spell’s duration. Also, to put it simply, shoving enemies in the cage is the main point, but if you cannot, a 10ft/20ft square is an enormous roadblock to stop up narrow passages with.

Which leaves Imprisonment, a portable hole you can shove all sorts of problems into, which will likely create new problems down the line if the target had anything you needed on them. I recommend knocking out a foe, stripping them of their valuables, and then shoving them into their baby jail for all eternity! With the Freedom spell being the only means to undo Imprisonment (even Wish and Miracle fail), you’ll have no actual way to undo the spell against any target you cast it on for one or two more levels, if at all (depending on the party composition). Make sure to use it only when the villain has no MacGuffins, or is a powerful recurring threat. Imprisonment works on anything and everything capable of failing the Will save (take note, anyone wanting to fight Kaiju, Great Old Ones, or Spawn of Rovagug), which gets a -4 penalty if you know the target’s name and some facts about its life, so famous villains are even more vulnerable to being thrown into the Eternity Marble!

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Barravoclair, Lady of the Final Gasp

Demagogue of the Elderly, Fatalistic Insights, Resurrection Domains: Death, Evil, Healing, Law Subdomains: Murder, Restoration, Resurrection, Undead

Obedience: Practice breath control, holding your breath until you nearly pass out. Benefit: Gain a +4 profane bonus on checks to resist drowning and on saves against inhaled poisons.

A hell of a step down in terms of unhealthiness in terms of Aroggus, and significantly less suspicious, too. Breath control is practiced by people of all stripes, from athletes to explorers to simple monks attempting more profound meditation. While ‘nearly passing out’ is skirting an edge most people won’t approach, it’s not exactly as dangerous for you as, say, inhaling water or eating poison every day. Without any materials needed, the Lady of the Final Gasp is one of the simplest and probably the single cheapest Obedience ritual one could ask for! There is a minor caveat in that races who can’t breathe can’t technically do this Obedience at all, but those aren’t the audience Barravoclair wants anyway.

Unfortunately, the benefit is as weak as the Obedience is easy to do. Drowning is unlikely to come up as a danger unless you’re physically dragged into the water by a monster (which means holding your breath likely isn’t an option anyway), and inhaled poisons are the least common poison type in the game. Against the odd Catoblepas or Green Dragon it will come in handy, but it’s protection from injury poison you really need, which the Lady of the Final Gasp doesn’t provide.

Boon 1: Speak With Dead Boon 2: Resurrection Boon 3: Soul Bind

Alright, let’s face it. Some days, you need Speak With Dead to keep the plot running smoothly. Whether your overzealous DPS kills everyone in the room, your Fireball-lobbing Sorcerer kills everyone in the room, or your summoner’s unchained beasts kill everyone in the room, chances are at some point in your career you’re going to save the party a lot of headaches by being able to pull answers from a corpse. Having Speak With Dead available every day will likely not matter 80% of the time (meaning you can typically use it at your leisure just before going to bed), but much like with Water Breathing and spells like Remove Curse and Neutralize Poison, having it for those 20% of times you need it can keep the wheels spinning and stop unneeded side quests.

... And speaking of side quests and things you’ll need once in a blue moon, Resurrection? For free? Even 1/day? With the hefty cost of 10,000gp for the normal spell, even a well-off party will feel the impact every single time they have to use Rez, but the removal of the cost ups the power level of the spell by a margin so enormous that it doesn’t really matter what Boon you get before or after this one; THIS boon rewards worship of Barravoclair enough to justify putting up with her empty benefit. Even without factoring in the ability to raise party members, you can now curry favor with people of all stripes and demand all forms of insane payments for your ability to raise centuries-old dead at no cost but time... or do your work for free and call in favors at a later date. Do note, however, that you’ll also need someone else on standby to remove the negative levels/stat drain caused by the resurrection process.

I said it didn’t matter what the third Boon was and I stand by it. Unlike with the free Rez above, Soul Bind’s enormous cost still makes its use as anything but a once-per-campaign finisher of an annoying enemy irritating and unfeasible. Spell-likes normally require no components, but Soul Bind operates in a gray area of the rules in that its focus component becomes the subject for the spell, meaning that a DM can very easily and very rightly say you DO require the gemstone whose value must equal or exceed the target’s HD x 1,000. Binding even a simple 5 CR creature requires the tall order of a 5,000gp gemstone, and if you want to use it on a target that’s worthwhile, it gets expensive fast. It’s way cheaper and easier to just hire a Cacodaemon.

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Fharaas, the Seer in Skin

Demagogue of Experience, Murder, and Patterns Domains: Evil, Knowledge, Law, Repose Subdomains: Ancestors, Fear, Memory, Souls

Obedience: Study the interior of a freshly severed limb. Benefit: You are immune to bleed effects that deal 6 damage or less.

This Obedience is deceptively simple for what its implication is. You’d best get yourself a Sack Of Rats or have access to a lot of disposable prisoners (or the Regenerate spell)! But thankfully, there’s some wiggle room in the wording: ‘freshly severed’ means no cheating and using Gentle Repose on the same arm over and over, but it ALSO means you can carry around a single corpse and slowly slice it apart, as the limbs themselves don’t have to be fresh, just freshly cut off for the purpose of the ritual. Also, you can use the bodies of Undead, Constructs, and any other creature that technically has severable limbs! Though Fharaas, the Seer In Skin, will likely punish you if your ritual doesn’t involve the examination of actual flesh.

You’re going to look really weird, is what I’m saying. At least if someone barges in on you, you can claim you’re inspecting them for something or other. Infection, signs of magic, etc, whatever you can come up with to blunt the blow. You can cover yourself moderately well by being a butcher or a hunter in your day job, as the severed limb doesn’t have to be human, or even sapient (hence why I suggest a Sack Of Rats), letting you freely slice up and examine your kills.

Bleed effects are fairly uncommon in the grand scheme of things but are also a pain in the neck to deal with in the middle of battle, so this giving a +4 bonus aga--wait, sorry, hold on no, this isn’t a bonus to saving throws? Or skill checks to heal bleed? It just... Stops them if they deal 6 or less damage? You don’t even have to make a save?

Okay. Okay, alright. So you’re just immune to bleed, then?

More or less, really. There are very few monsters that deal more than d6 bleed damage with their attacks (be warned that higher-level ones can sometimes stack their bleed!), and this ability also works on the rare but dreaded stat bleed, and off the top of my head there are NO monsters that deal more than a d4 dice in stat bleed damage. My main problem is that it doesn’t reduce the bleed damage you take by 6, so taking even 1 more point of bleed damage makes this ability useless. Still, though it’s fairly narrow, being effectively immune to a dangerous and irritating status ailment at level 3 or so (when bleed is at its most threatening) is well worth taking up butchery.

Boon 1: Keen Edge Boon 2: Vision Boon 3: Foresight

Keen Edge is a spell you absolutely want to slap onto any vaguely pirate-y or hoity-toity party member you may have, as cutlasses, rapiers, and scimitars all leap from a dangerous 18~20 critical range to a terrifying 15~20, meaning they threaten to critically strike 1 out of every 4 attacks instead of just once every other fight or so. With a duration of 10 min/level, the enchantment will likely last multiple fights even if you only have it 1/day, but unfortunately it refuses to stack with any crit-boosting enchantments or feats the wielder may already possess, lessening its usefulness as your adventure goes on and your martial party members pick up increasingly fancy gear and pad out their collection of feats. Still, it’s useful for when you get it, and will remain useful for several levels after.

Vision is a whole different beast, and a dangerous one at that. It operates as the Legend Lore spell but vastly accelerated, allowing you to scrape the public consciousness for any information it may have on a specific person, place, or thing. I’ve complained about the general niche uses of Legend Lore before, but Vision grants the information in a much shorter time (a single standard action) at the cost of a potential for failure and a slap of fatigue whether you succeed or not. I don’t like 1/days that do nothing on a failure, but since Vision is purely a downtime spell (unless you need to know the boss’ weakness or info on the Evil Doom Artifact right now immediately), it’s not as much of an impediment to lose out on whatever information it could give you. That being said, the DM will likely have ways for you to do whatever plot-relevant research you need anyway, so Vision is more of a way to speed up the process than anything.

Which leaves Foresight, a spell whose main benefit relies intensely on DM cooperation, as I’ve ranted about here. Mechanically it’s fairly unimpressive, but if the DM reads the spell carefully, they should realize it gives whoever you cast it on a 6-second glance into the future at all times. Whatever horrors befall the victim 6 seconds from now should spring into your mind before they happen, making you the best trap radar on the planet, and the spell’s warnings for the best ways to protect yourself will urge the DM to grant you information about the enemy’s capabilities you may never otherwise know... but what do you expect from 9th level magic? It SHOULD be filling you in with details you’d never figure out!

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Inkariax, the White Death

Demagogue of Preservation, Absolute Cold, and Solitude Domains: Evil, Law, Void, Water Subdomains: Fear, Ice, Isolation, Slavery

Obedience: Inventory your collection of hoarded knickknacks, reciting your unique name for each item as you do Benefit: Gain a +4 profane bonus on saving throws to resist effects that would petrify or paralyze you.

God, finally, someone normal. At worst you’ll look like someone with a few obsessive issues, but at least you won’t look like a menace to society as you lay out your, I dunno, marbles or bone dice or dolls or what have you and make note that they’re still there, cooing to them with names only you know. It’s fitting for Inkariax, of all the Demagogues, to have an Obedience that requires no self-harm, physically or psychologically; unlike all the rest, he was born perfect and doesn’t need to chase after it. Instead, he pursues finding perfection in others, freezing and collecting people and items he believes represent perfection in whatever unusual way he desires that day (having perfect posture, or a perfect scream, or a perfect pair of eyes, etc). Much like him, you’re encouraged to expand a collection of whatever you deem perfect and desirable, which you’re often going to do just over the course of normally adventuring. I’ve yet to see a player character that doesn’t start amassing all sorts of junk in their pockets the moment they get a Bag of Holding or similar.

Indeed, you can just pick up whatever catches your fancy, be it stones, sticks, or severed bits of an enemy, though I’m sure Inkariax will ever-so-slowly raise a disapproving eyebrow if you just pick up any old junk. Make sure to curate your collection now and then! Being able to perform this Obedience with anything you happen to gather is especially helpful if you’re ever separated from your collection (always a danger) and need to start again, but note that each item you gain in your collection must have a completely unique name. That’s only really a danger for especially RP-heavy campaigns, but in such campaigns Worship of the White Death isn’t for everyone who just names all their collected bird feathers Jeffery. Start getting in the habit of stretching out your inventory sheet with names for all your items!

The benefit you get from lovingly counting up all your stolen statuettes and dusty books is resistance to two of the worst status effects in the game. While petrification is relatively rare it typically appears in Save-Or-Suck form, which makes protection against it far more valuable than, say, protection against something like the far more common fatigue or exhaustion. Paralysis is an ailment just short of a death sentence by itself, costing the victim their turn at best and their life at worst, so even a +4 between you and that is something you need to cling to with your entire being.

Boon 1: Sleet Storm Boon 2: Sequester Boon 3: Microcosm

Sleet Storm is a very simple spell with a decent number of functions. Its Long range means that any enemy in your line of sight can potentially be a target, letting you lash out easily at ranged enemies or dangerous casters by creating a 40ft-wide and 20ft-tall area of concealing sleet that’s impossible for any vision to pierce (except the rare and niche Snowsight or Fogcutter Lenses). Anyone inside will have to rely on Tremorsense or Blindsense (though the jury’s out on if the splashing of the sleet would confound those, as well) to navigate it, and 40ft of difficult terrain can feel impossible to clamber through when you start right in the middle of it with no idea which way is the way you need to go. It’s one of the strongest vision-blockers in the game due to its immunity to common tactics that thwart lesser spells (Gust of Wind, True Seeing, etc), forcing enemies to either blow their valuable uses of Dispel Magic or suffer for its entire duration. My only complaint is that you only get it 1/day and that it screws over your party just as hard if you use it incorrectly.

Sequester is as niche a use spell as there ever was for players, requiring a bit of forethought about what or who you’d want to hide with it. The target must be willing or inanimate to be affected, so tricking an enemy via Charm or Dominate into accepting the spell can keep them fresh as a daisy for weeks at a time if you ever have a reason to do such a thing. More often than not you’ll use it to conceal items you seriously don’t want seen or detected, such as a Bag of Holding or similar loaded with your collection of knickknacks or emergency supplies, a particular hostage, an NPC you need to keep alive, or your phylactery if you’re a Lich. If you’re especially sadistic, using it on an item someone else needs and throwing it into a well or a hoard of other objects will keep them occupied for a while. If you’re a more martial character, using it to hide your armor is viable, making it seem as though you’re invincible when enemy blows bounce straight off, or even your weapon to confound your enemies who seem to be taking wounds from an unseen item. Your mime routine will be killer, literally! Just... Just don’t drop the thing, because in the heat of battle you’re never going to find it.

Microcosm is one of the best spells you can hurl into a crowd of commoners or a swarm of foes meant to gum you up instead of actually threaten you. Its 30 HD limit will mean it likely will only strike one or two creatures capable of actually threatening you, but it’s brutal even then. The spell is permanent, trapping your victims in an illusory world in which everything goes right for them even as their bodies starve to death in the waking world. Anything with less than 10 HD is automatically affected with no saving throw, the spell easily mopping up mobs, while anything with 11~15 HD escapes automatically after 10 min... per level you have. On a successful save. There’s Save-Or-Suck, and then there’s the immensely rare Save-And-Suck! No wonder Microcosm is ONLY on the Psychic’s list! Anything with more than 16 HD is unaffected if they succeed their save, but all their allies are likely in an everlasting dreamland now. The big issue is that the HD restriction is way tighter than you may think; creatures, especially at higher levels, usually do NOT have HD matching their CR, but if you’re mainly battling level-appropriate Humanoid or Monstrous Humanoid creatures, Microcosm is fairly reliable in such battles, as those foes typically have HD that roughly matches their CR. But if you’re up against, say, Dragons or Outsiders, good luck bud.

Side note: Microcosm and Sequester used in combination make for excellent ways to start your own morbid collection of living creatures, just like your icy master! Just make sure you have some non-Divination means of seeing them, as Sequester blocks even True Sight.

#Pathfinder #dungeons and dragons #Demigod Dossier #Spiritual Spotlight #Sinister Spotlight

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embraceyourdestiny · 3 years

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Theory about Riku’s Darkness and His Ties to Terra

We all know Terra passed his keyblade onto Riku. But what if he didn’t pass on just his keyblade?

Riku is known for embracing the darkness, both falling to it and using it to fight for the light. The way his possession of darkness is talked about within the series is as if it’s inherent, like he has no choice in the matter and is darkness regardless of what he wants or wishes to be. They speak as if he was born with darkness, but what if he wasn’t?

Kingdom Hearts’ attitude towards darkness is confusing, vague, and complicated and is especially so in the case of Riku. Riku is hailed as a being with such powerful darkness, an undesirable “evil” within the world, that even at such a young age he was able to use it at will and control the heartless. Riku is seen as bad and wrong during this time because he uses darkness and ends up hurting people with it. But at the same time and later in the series, Riku is view as good because of how he can also control the darkness in a different way; by keeping it under wraps and using it to protect the light.

Riku, as is his identity as “the one who walks the road to dawn” is smack in the middle of light and darkness, but he is still a being of darkness. He is the only person we see who uses darkness for good and doesn’t let it control him. But, where does his darkness even come from?

Even more confusing than the the conflicting messages around the nature of darkness in Kingdom Hearts (is it good? is it bad? is it neutral? or maybe is it even something else entirely?) is the nature of light and darkness itself. We don’t know where light and darkness come from, how they work, why some people are light and some people are darkness, we know hardly anything about them at all. The nature of light and darkness is vague and shapeless in the Kingdom Hearts universe despite having so much importance. So, as a fun theory, what if similarly to how you can pass on a keyblade through a bequeathing ceremony, you can also pass on your nature, your light or darkness, to someone else, maybe even at the same time?

Children in Kingdom Hearts are told to be, for lack of a better word, True Lights. Their hearts are pure and bright and they are what helped rebuild the worlds after they fell to darkness and destruction. All children are pure and light, but if that’s the case, how does darkness even exist? How do adults possess darkness if they were light as children?

There are two possibilities: either the True Lights that rebuilt the worlds were not only made of light, or children can somehow be influenced by the darkness in possibly a variety of ways. It might honestly even be both.

Instead of children being “pure light,” I think it makes much more sense for them to be “neutral.” Children are innocent and free of evil, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are inherently light. The “middle ground” between darkness and light, night and morning, otherwise called “twilight” in the Kingdom Hearts universe, is a reoccurring and important theme in Kingdom Hearts and I think that the children who originally rebuilt the worlds were not in fact light, but neutral. Twilight. Or, there was a mix of children that were light, darkness, and somewhere in between.

It’s echoed both in Kingdom Hearts and in the real world that nothing can exist without balance. You cannot have too much light and you cannot have too much darkness. If this is the case, a law by nature, why are we led to believe the ones who “saved the worlds” didn’t have a single speckle of darkness in them? That directly conflicts with the logic of creation and would be otherwise impossible, there has to be darkness and light or whatever you try to create would belong to “unreality.” (Which is something going to be talked about in the future of KH but not here because it’s not necessary to this theory but it is still important background and something to be thought about when navigating the world of Kingdom Hearts and the real world.)

(Tangent: I also believe the reason we’re told it was “children who’s hearts were pure light” that saved the world is because it’s Kingdom Hearts own case of an ahistorical and incorrect telling of events. Kingdom Hearts resides in the Realm of Light and those of light have been in control for a long time, and they therefore have a biased perspective of things. You can see this clearly with Eraqus, a man who was supposedly wise and yet shunned the darkness, called it evil and wrong, and even inflicted this harmful message towards his own students, one of whom actively belonged to the darkness. I think the demonization of the darkness has caused so many problems within the worlds of Kingdom Hearts and this legend of the Worlds is just one example of a ripple effect that having this perspective of darkness has lead to. But this is way too deep and again unnecessary to this theory, just something to think about. Tangent/rant over lmao.)

Now, we go back to Riku. Riku as a child is shown as kind, considerate, brave, a good friend, and even morally upright. These are all told to us to be traits of someone who belongs to the light and are directly conflicting of the traits of what we see those who belong to darkness have; they’re evil, manipulative, dangerous, and they harm people and have little regard for others. Though I don’t agree that either of these lists of traits can only belong to light and darkness, that is how they are portrayed in Kingdom Hearts. So, if Riku’s darkness is inherent, why is he kind to Sora as a kid? Why does he say he’ll protect him, and why, if Riku is evil because he is inherently darknesses, does Riku want strength to protect others? If he is darkness he has no need for friends and shouldn’t want to protect anyone because why would he care about anyone else, right?

This is the attitude he is shown to have when he falls to darkness in KH1 and this is how most people who possess darkness are portrayed. Again, I don’t agree, but that’s how it is. Riku is, once again, the only character who is of darkness that is shown to be darkness and yet not be evil. (I say only because we haven’t see Terra post-Terranort using his darkness freely yet, but even if that does happen and he does embrace it, that is still an exception to the unfortunate rule Kingdom Hearts has created for the darkness.)

So, if Riku wasn’t born with darkness because he wasn’t evil as a kid, where did he get his darkness? Most people would probably say Ansem SOD, and some might even say he had “grown” his own darkness, similar to how Nobodies grew their own hearts, because of his increasingly undesirable life on Destiny Islands, and I have to say both are wrong. The latter option is definitely more correct, since Riku was only preyed on by ASOD because he already had darkness in him and was an easy target, but it’s missing some pieces to make it make sense because again, if children are pure light, how did Riku already have darkness in him/develop darkness as a child?

The most reasonable explanation is this; children are blank slates and they develop into whatever they are shown by those around them. Just like how real kids are a product of their environment, the children of Kingdom Hearts will possess the ability of whatever is shown or given to them by the world. For simplicity and since Kingdom Hearts is all about passing stuff on and less about observing and learning, we will only focus on the “given” aspect of this and disregard the “shown” part.

Riku, like all children, was neutral. He didn’t have overwhelming darkness or light in him, he was simply a kid and that’s it. He had to, at some point, stumble upon darkness or light in order to inherent one or the other, and in his case it was darkness that found him first.

Introduce Terra. Terra, a being of darkness, bequeathes his keyblade to Riku. He passes down his ability to wield the keyblade to Riku, and along with it, his darkness. Riku was still only a child and this event is shown to have significant impact on the rest of his life, so this has to be the first time he even comes into contact with anything so powerful and strong, whether it be darkness or light. Destiny Islands is an extremely relaxed and peaceful place, so though darkness and light both have to exist there, there are no threats or immense stresses that would require such large outputs of either light or darkness, unlike how meeting someone from a different world who has had those stressed would effect a child. (This is also why Sora, who was also neutral because he was a kid, ends up becoming a being of light. Like it’s said many times, Destiny Islands was boring, nothing exciting happened there, so similar to how Terra would’ve been the first time Riku ever encountered such strong darkness, Ventus was the first time Sora encountered such strong light, but back to Riku.)

Now, this doesn’t immediately make Riku “I’m gonna destroy Destiny Islands” Riku. No, that comes much latter, and with influence of someone else. Riku, after his run-in with Terra, and until he is 15 years old, is still just a regular kid, he just now has darkness in him when before he was neutral, which again, isn’t inherently bad. From Sora and Kairi’s accounts, Riku was just a regular kid until he just “changed” one day. He was still kind, he played with the other kids like he always did, after being given darkness Riku didn’t change at all because there was nothing to be changed, darkness isn’t bad so there’s no reason why suddenly Riku would be too.

Enter the other influence; Ansem, the Seeker of Darkness.

Ansem saw that Riku had darkness already in him and used it to his advantage. With proper love and care, even with having darkness in him, Riku would’ve blossomed into a wonderful person who just happened to be of darkness, but Ansem messed that up for him. Ansem, also having a strewed perception of darkness since the one he came from, Xehanort, was the same way, decided to weaken Riku. We don’t know exactly how Ansem influenced Riku but based on the insecurities Riku talks about throughout the series, being jealous of Sora, thinking “the world was too small,” (a quote directly from Xehanort himself, which Ansem he had to have said to Riku since they both say it and Riku ended up believing him and internalizing it), etc, we can tell it wasn’t any good. Ansem planted seeds of doubt in Riku’s mind and then played off the results he knew he would get; Riku pulling away from his friends and becoming bitter to a place he once called home.

So, you see, both Ansem and Terra played a hand in Riku’s darkness. Everyone acknowledges Ansem’s role and you can’t deny that Terra’s appearance affected Riku’s life down the line, but it did much more than make Riku desire strength to protect those that mattered, Terra was the one directly responsible for giving Riku darkness, and it’s very sad because neither of them had to be “evil” just because they had darkness in them. Terra and Riku were both kind, wonderful people before Xehanort interfered with their lives and that negative experience continued to perpetuate the wrong message about darkness, that it’s evil and something to expel or hide away, and that made Terra fear and hate the darkness and Riku half-way ignore a part of him that he cannot change, because even if he uses the darkness still now, he doesn’t embrace it. It is still something to be controlled and feared in both of their eyes because, “what if I hurt someone because of my darkness again?”

This was originally a theory/analysis on Riku but I can’t end this without bringing up the fact that the way darkness is portrayed in Kingdom Hearts, and almost all media honestly, is wrong. The darkness is not bad, it is a requirement to life. Yes, you can do bad things with the darkness, but the same can be said about light. Eraqus harmed three of his students and who knows who else in “the name of light,” and Sora is constantly put at odds because of his “duty” to the light, to the point of being thrown into a war as a child and not only losing all of his friends but even his own life because it’s what he was “supposed to do” as a Guardian of Light.

Neither darkness or light are good or bad, they simply are. What one does with them is what is good or bad, but darkness and light themselves are not evil or right. I hope Kingdom Hearts pushes this message more because there are inklings of it there, Riku if his character developed more, Roxas and Xion’s identity crisis in Days, and honestly the concept of Nobodies as a whole. It’s a message that deserves to see fruition and I hope it does because it would add so much to Kingdom Hearts as a whole if it did.

But to wrap this up, my theory is Riku was originally neutral, Terra bequeathed him both his keyblade and darkness, and, though not a theory, darkness and light are not good or evil, they are meant to coexist together, and hopefully one day we will see that happen in Kingdom Hearts, with Riku possibly and even preferably leading the movement himself.

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