#what i'm saying is that I think my boy is immensely brave for making that decision | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ftm-radio · 11 days

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My gender is 4 years old

...and four days, as of April 15th. This post is a bit late. 😅

Four years ago, all the confusing little puzzle pieces I'd been collecting came together in a genuine eureka! moment and I realized I was transgender. It was exhilarating and terrifying and it undeniably changed my life for the better.

The last few years have felt pretty damn slow and I've had to scramble over a few frustrating obstacles (never changing my name AGAIN, lmao, that was annoying as fuck) but it's all been worth it and now it feels like I'm really making headway.

I started testosterone this past year! I did that! I'm almost 7 months on T now! Currently on a dose of two pumps of gel, which I have only missed applying once in all that time because I was literally sick. The changes are gradual but they are real and they have already brought me so much joy and made me so much happier in my humble flesh prison. 💗

The most anticipated change for me (and for a lot of transmasc folks, I imagine) is my voice, and BOY (heh) am I happy to share this data comparison with you:

[ LEFT: A screenshot from the Voice Pitch Analyzer app, dated November 3rd, 2021. It shows that OP's voice registers fully within the female voice range. RIGHT: Another screenshot from the app, dated April 12th, 2024. This one shows that OP's voice registers mostly between the Androgynous and Male voice ranges. ]

My voice is so different now. It sounds different, it feels different, and in just the last week or so I swear it has gotten a little rougher and raspier and I am LIVING. I could not be happier!!!

...okay, fine, I could be happier lmao.

I'm adjusting to my deeper voice and still learning how to use it in a way I like & that feels best to me, so I'm starting to do some casual at-home voice training again after basically forgetting about the concept completely since 2021. (Whoops.) But I am already so much happier and more content with my voice than I have ever been in my life, so it's only getting better from here, lads. <3

I've also had to go to a lot of appointments and answer a ton of phone calls about said appts recently because I kinda fucked up my eyeball (it's better now, don't worry! and be gentle to your eyes, they are delicate and eye drops are so fucking annoying when you're doing them seven times a day, jfc) and my voice has reached a point where I was a lot more comfortable interacting with strangers and I also didn't notice any surprise or confusion when I introduced myself with a male name! It was kind of amazing.

Also singing is even more fun now. I love love LOVE singing along with a male vocalist and feeling the way my voice kinda rumbles through my chest. 10/10 sensory experience.

Other changes aren't nearly as exciting or obvious as my voice, but here's a quick (?) rundown, for those who are curious:

Mood — Gotta be honest, I don't think I've really noticed any significant change in my day-to-day mood, though I may not be the best judge for this because I have trouble figuring out what/how I'm feeling in general, tbh. But I think I have certainly gotten more comfortable and content with myself and I'd even go so far as to say I feel a little more confident these days. It's nice, I appreciate it.

Acne — I definitely noticed a change in how my acne presents itself on my face. I wouldn't say it's worse than before (I've had very bad acne since I was a young teenager and only got medication for it like, last year which has helped immensely) but I think it's different. More little red spots and roughness than the unpleasant and painful pimples I'm used to. I don't even mind it, really. Oddly affirming.

Facial Hair — I've got facial hair. I really do!!! Not clickbait!!! It's not much, not enough for me to be brave and take my dad up on his offer of shaving lessons quite yet, but it has grown in enough that I don't feel silly including it in self portraits! 🤭🧔🏻 Got a little bit of a mustache happening, a little bit at the sides of my face, some fuzz on my chin (with one LONG hair that I can only assume has been greedy and stealing his brothers' growth), and a frankly surprising lil patch of hair under my jaw. On a semi-related note, not sure if my brows have gotten much darker/thicker. They might have? idk.

my new discord icon, hehe... 👁💜🪓

Body Hair — I have gotten a little more hair on my forearms, and it may have gotten a little darker too! I have a tattoo on my arm just below my left wrist and it's been surprisingly helpful for measuring arm hair growth because for years my tattoo was not covered by hair at all but the left side of it's a little fuzzy now... 😏 I've gotten more noticeable hair growth on my upper arms, which were basically hairless before (free gender euphoria every time I put on my T) and on my thighs. Don't think my lower legs have gotten much hairier, and I'm a little impatient about it lmao. I want to get hairy enough to rival my brother.

Energy/Appetite — Can't say I've really noticed any differences here? I am not a very active person and I already struggled with appetite and getting myself to eat before I started T (thank you adhd & poor eating habits 🥲💀), so I can't quite tell if I'm ignoring more hunger signals than usual. 😅 I am hoping to get more active and start doing more physical activity now that it's starting to get warmer outside again, so hopefully that will help me see these sorts of changes and also get me into some better eating habits as I expend more energy and work up a proper appetite! (Also, since we're on the topic... a reminder for all of us that taking care of yourself and feeding the body you live in is a million times more important than aesthetics and numbers on a scale. ❤)

Menstruation — I am still getting my period right on schedule, but I am happy to say it is considerably lighter than it was before I started testosterone! My period has begun getting shorter, too. It lasted for roughly 7–9 days before, but I was bleeding for exactly 7 days last month, and only 6 days this month. I'm not sure if this trend will continue at such a dramatic rate, but if my next round is only 5 days I will be very excited about it, lol. My uterus can retire any day now, please...

Bottom Growth — if any of my friends read this part, don't speak to me about it lmao — Yeah... there's a little bit of something happening down there. Not a lot, and I haven't really noticed any pain or sensitivity, but there's a Difference. Aaaaand I like it. 😌 I am looking forward to any and all future developments. 😏👉🏻👉🏻

Okay! I think that's it, really.

I know I haven't been super active on this blog for quite a while now (I have really gotten into fandom blogging on my main lmao, and also discord is my favorite thing right now, it's where 90% of my friends live) so I hope this nice, long, ramble-y post makes up for that a little bit. <3

Not gonna make any promises that I'll post here more often, but y'know. I might. It could happen. Definitely not leaving this blog to sit and gather dust, that's for sure. I'll still be reblogging stuff semi-frequently, even if I'm not writing up my own posts.

So goodbye for now, and thanks for tuning in! 👋🏻📻💖💙✨️

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7waystreet · 1 year

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legacies | ch.2

synopsis — a fiery (y/n) newly enters a university campus dominated by the three trust fund brats. she’s not going to take their shit and they’re not going to let her off so easily either. will this rivalry evolve into friendship, lust or love?

genre — college drama, angst, slow burn

disclaimer — 18+ ; strong language and sexual content

chapter index:

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | coming soon

ch. 2

It's as if nothing around you could put a damper on your bright mood, or so you think when you step out of your girls dormitory and skip down the stairs towards the class you've been looking forward to the most, the weather perfectly sunny with a fair breeze on your second day at university. A look of content easing your face, your heart's certainly feeling lighter, although you felt like that couldn't be possible so quickly after the brazen encounter with the three boys just yesterday. But thanks to your short meeting with Kim Taehyung after the scene, you'd at least been blessed with some peace of mind.

"Awww Koo!!! Are you okay my baby??? I swear I'll rip that witch's hair out for this!!!"

The taste of your vomit gurgles up your throat when your sight focuses on his athletic figure leisurely reclining on a bench in the campus courtyard, heavily surrounded by a herd of the skimpiest girls thirsting for his attention by practically throwing themselves at him. Jungkook appears visibly uninterested though as he mindlessly keeps staring at the ground while man spreading his toned thighs out, all while the annoying girl whining next to him presses a cold ice pack on his puffed out cheek with overflowing care. You hate these types of girls, the ones willingly chasing after boys to claim their undeserving piece of popularity, a look of irritation now dawning your face as you begin walking in Jungkook's direction.

Your feet pause in their steps when Jungkook's attention redirects to you, his gaze quickly picking up off the grass and his shadowy eyes meeting yours in a flare. The total lack of expressions on his face twists into a fresh new look of deepening interest, clearly having been surprised by seeing you bravely approach him instead of cowering away from him in fear. Why would you run from him though and show weakness when he's anyways in most of your classes? That'd only feed into his delusion of having some sort of a power over you, which you'd never just hand in to him, if even at all. The girls around Jungkook instantly throw you the nastiest of looks by the way he's observing you of all people, their immense jealously seeping out as they stare dumbfounded at how absorbed he is by your presence, despite their wild attempts to charm him.

"I just wanna say I'm sorry. It wasn't right of me to hit you like that" you admit to Jungkook after swallowing your pride, your chest tightening up with residual anger from the fresh memory of him ruthlessly destroying your grandma's watch. Regardless of his unforgivable behavior, it's not in your authority to physically assault someone as their punishment, your upright conscience forcing you to apologize since raising your hand on any person isn't an acceptable thing you could be proud of.

"Well, guess what? It's not okay" Jungkook seethes with a cocky glow now dazzling on his pretty face, his long legs instantly bouncing up and taking a few strides forward to meet you up close. He only stops when you're a nose's distance away from each other, the furiously contorting expressions of the flock of desperate girls he leaves behind secretly boosting up your ego to the heavens.

"It wasn't okay for you to ruin my watch either. But am I hearing you say sorry?" you spit back in response, the lack of compassion he so proudly carries in his voice triggering you to lose your cool. Jungkook just makes it so easy to fall in hate with him, his mouth wickedly twitching with gall before he chooses to answer.

"I'm not apologizing to you. I did you a favor by getting rid of that shit ass watch of yours."

Forget even showing empathy, it's his incompetency that truly astonishes you, the way his high opinion of himself clouds his basic judgement and understanding of the world deserving of real pity. It's as if he's created a fool proof bubble that he loves basking inside, his authority at the maximal degree within this fake universe that only he's the master of. Anger shoots up your heart at his rude comment, your eyes first flickering towards his swollen cheek which your palm had already done the honor to greet, then settling over onto his untouched, soft and milky one. "Your other cheek's looking lonely. Don't tempt me, Jeon."

"Your wrist's looking rather lonely too" Jungkook fires back in a flash, although with a chuckle this time as he grabs your bare wrist in a painful grip. Your jawline clenches when you brush him off with a heedless arm shaking, his entire demeanor soon bubbling with excitement from his victory of successfully pissing you off. You genuinely question whether he enjoys this kind of back and forth with you, his giggles as indication of how he seemingly likes the few seconds he gets to spend with you to his heart's content, even if that means the time spent together is merely over fights and quarrels.

Letting out a shallow sigh, you decide not to indulge any further in this mess of an unplanned encounter, turning around away from Jungkook with a swift move. Trying to soothe your heated mind by flashing your thoughts back to your sweet hangout with Taehyung from the previous day, you now continue to make your way over to your class, trying your best to block out Jungkook's continued laughter with the dimwitted girls who've joined in with him in the distance.

"Order anything you want. I'm paying" Taehyung had advised you after bringing you to the college cafeteria, crouching down with your backpack still strapped on his shoulder so you could stuff the remains of your watch in a zipper while you'd both waited in line.

"You don't have to pay for me... I can afford to pay for myself" you'd informed him in a reserved tone, frankly unsure of his true motives behind treating you so well after you'd humiliated Jungkook with the slap. The first lesson you'd so roughly learned just a few minutes ago was to not trust anyone here, the way Jimin had fooled you with his flip of a switch attitude scarring you into keeping tabs on Taehyung, despite his much friendlier approach. You weren't going to make that mistake twice.

Taehyung had now appeared somewhat hurt by your words, the tall boy's brows furrowing and lips pouting in a tender manner, but he'd still spoken his mind regardless, his honesty surprisingly refreshing amongst the chaos. "I know... but it's the least I can do in return for how my best friends disrespected you."

"Why are hell are you even friends with them?" your anguish had slipped out, the desire to know why this sensible seeming boy uncharacteristically chills out with assholes like Jimin and Jungkook fully taking over you. You'd internally scolded yourself right after for letting your emotions overpower you into losing the control you usually hold over your tongue, your face becoming more tense as Taehyung took a long pause before answering your blunt question.

"I grew up with them. Jiminie and Jungkookie are my family... They're all I've got now" Taehyung had lowered his gaze, the tone of his voice immersed with a deepening sadness.

A formidable awkward silence had followed, you placing in your iced coffee order while Taehyung had opted for an iced tea instead, your mind lost in thought wondering what he exactly must've meant by his friends are all he's got now. His sullen disposition had started making you uneasy and a bit concerned, the way he continued to stay quiet even when you'd settled down at a table near a window worthy of some worry.

"It used to be my dad's..." Taehyung's deep voice had promptly stolen your attention, your eyes curiously trailing from your coffee cup on the table over to his pretty dainty digits fidgeting with the flashy silver ring sitting on his left index finger. "... it got passed down to me after he died last year."

You'd sneaked a peak up at his face after his unforeseen confession, your features now mimicking his gloomy ones as your own fingers had unknowingly wrapped around your empty wrist. Taehyung's actions suddenly made more sense, the way he'd shown empathy after seeing Jungkook break your family's memento a reflection of his faithful attachment towards his own.

"Is that why you helped defend me back there?" you'd sprung up in question for confirmation, Taehyung's glassy eyes slowly locking in on your palm that was still clutching the wrist missing your late grandma's watch. His nod of approval which'd followed affirmed your theory of why he'd decided to care for you and check up on you in the first place, despite you publicly smacking his best buddy.

"I used to be just as cruel as them you know... worse, if anything. I lost count of how many people I'd hurt. It all seemed pointless after losing my father. My idol. I've now got a big responsibility to look after my mother and our family business... I can't afford to slip up."

You'd just met him today, and it felt crazy even thinking this, but it was difficult for you to imagine Taehyung being a vile bully based on his humble character you'd observed so far. But you were going to take his word for it, since after all, you didn't know his history at this university, nor did you know Jimin's or Jungkook's. Your classmates words still echoed in your head about how you should probably stay away from all three of them as they reeked of trouble, but your lips had still formed a faint smile while you slid your palm across the table to hold onto Taehyung's hand for a brief few seconds of support. You weren't a heartless bitch, and Taehyung was the one who'd gone out of his way to reach out to you, so the least you could've done was attempt to provide him with the same comfort he'd given you, while also reminding yourself to strictly keep your guard up.

"I've been through a terrible loss with my grandma's passing too. It changes you in lots of ways. But I'm sure you will do well... you seem like a good person. Thank you for this."

The natural curvature of his lovely lips leans downwards, but the way it'd quickly flipped up into a noticeable boxy smile at your words of encouragement had made you openly grin too. Taehyung's hand had quickly entered the slit of his pant pocket before pulling out his phone, his body language easing up by tenfolds as he'd passed along his expensive iPhone of the latest model to you.

"You seem cool too. The way you violated Jungkookie... my GOD I wanted to burst out laughing! For the future though, just stay out of his way, alright? Jimin too. I don't know if I'll always be there to stop them if you happen to run into them and something happens. But here, let's exchange numbers. Ring me up if you ever need any help with anything. I'll tell them to leave you alone too. I'm sure they'll listen to me" Taehyung had happily babbled in an innocent round of excitement, a cute smile relaxing his cheeks when you'd accepted his phone and begun typing.

"I appreciate it a lot, Taehyung. Can't believe I'm saying this, but you're my first friend here" you'd chuckled as you warmly returned Taehyung's phone in his outstretched hand, him then shooting you a text message so you could save his number with ease too.

"Well, let your first friend walk you to your next class! But please hold your backpack this time though... what are you carrying in this heavy ass thing? Bricks?!" he'd replied back in sudden annoyance, your face instantly dropping at his bitter glance in your direction, but he'd quickly snorted into laughter and waved his hands at you to let you know he was only joking. With a friendly punch to his arm, you'd gripped your coffee cup while getting up as Taehyung continued to carry your backpack despite your constant attempts to pull it off of him, his giggles filling the hallway when he'd helped you navigate your way to class.

With thoughts of your bothersome confrontation with Jungkook in the campus courtyard long gone, an honest smile curls up on your lips when you realize you're walking down the same hallway in present time, Taehyung's laughter still echoing in your ears as you make a mental note of the classroom number on the door to your right. Distracted by your memories with Taehyung, you've clearly strolled past the place you're shortly meant to enter, both of your feet now reversing back up towards the adjacent door with the correct number you're searching for engraved on it. The name 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐊 sits printed in gold plating on the alluring entrance to the dance studio which holds the contemporary dance class you're so beyond excited to start soon.

"Fucking hell, Dad! PLEASE! You can't be doing this!"

Your body turns frigid as you gently twist the doorknob to the studio open and sneakily peak your head inside, your eyes sealing in on the figures of three people standing towards the back, in the middle of what appears to be a heated discussion. Your stealth goes totally unnoticed by all three of them, although your nosiness and curiosity gets the best of you when you identify the blonde boy as none other than Park Jimin, his rebellious yells and protests against the spitting older image of him quite alarmingly disrespectful.

"You see how this ungrateful rascal talks to me, Jung?!"

The middle aged man in a crisp black Italian suit and exquisite Valentino shoes runs his fingers through his gelled back hair as he speaks, an exceeding threat lingering in his angry comment truly aimed at his son. His cruel eyes first glare at Jimin, then jump towards the lean man dressed in a set of baggy light blue wash pants and an oversized white t-shirt, the colorful jewelry he's decked out in upping his uber cool style. Professor Jung looks uncomfortably shaken up by the situation, although he tries to hide it by flashing his soft dimples in an attempt to soothe the rich man's fury, his nimble fingers nervously fidgeting with the beanie on his head.

"Ah, Mr. Park... Sir, I do understand your frustration... but Jiminie is our best dancer, and he always guarantees us a win at the annual intercollegiate dance competition, which in turn raises our university's reputation. You withdrawing his name this year means we're certainly coming home with a loss... I hope you reconsider your decisi—"

Professor Jung turns pale as a ghost when Mr. Park lets out a blaringly arrogant laugh. The father bores his dire eyes into Jimin's hurt ones to really screw in the insult while he replies back to the dance teacher. "Star dancer, huh? My son is nothing but a failure in the making. Bringing shame to my name by choosing dance as a career when he's got my empire to look after... how pathetic! He wouldn't even be able to wipe his own ass if it weren't for the luxuries I've provided him with all his life. My decision is final. Jimin will be focusing on his studies during his final year to make sure he passes all of his courses, this moron. None of this dance competition bullshit to distract him. You got that, Jung? If you hear even one more complaint against Jimin from anyone, you call me up. You understand?"

Jimin shudders with a rage unlike you've ever seen before, both of his eyes bloodshot red as they narrow up with utmost hate for his father, his chest visibly heaving while he dryly swallows back his spiteful words, which would only get him in more trouble that he's smart enough to avoid for now. Professor Jung appears severely anxious standing in his own damn studio too, clearly having lost his battle against the more important man holding a higher authority over matters than him himself.

"Sure, Mr. Park... will that be all, Sir? We can pick this up later if you'd like... I'm actually expecting a class soo—" the dance teacher's head suddenly snaps in your direction mid-sentence, the sound alert from the text message dinging on your phone capturing his attention.

"Oh, hi! Uh, I'm (y/n). I'm here for class! I didn't mean to interrupt. Uh, sorry."

Jimin now looks like he's actually going to pass out from the overpowering humiliation, as if how his father had poorly treated him wasn't enough already, his mind absolutely livid at the possibility of having you stand there listening in on this conversation too. But it's obvious you've done so by the way you're acting quite awkward, unable to whip up a convincing fake act when unexceptionally put on the spot like this. Jimin's eyes penetrate into your soul with utmost malice while professor Jung kindly welcomes you inside, Mr. Park simultaneously strutting out of the studio without another word or even a glance in your direction, which you're truthfully grateful for.

Your thoughts are still zooming all over the place when you enter the girls locker room post-class to wash up after a sweaty routine, now finding yourself caught in a debate whether you're happy to get the chance to explore your interest in contemporary dance, or pissed off to your core by the fact that you're partnered with Jimin out of everyone, professor Jung's reasoning being the best dancer could help out the new girl quickly catch up to speed. It'd probably been the stiffest hour of your life having Jimin teach you some moves while not even looking you in the eye the entire time, his words barely audible with how he kept mumbling in an attempt to hide the hatred for you in his voice.

"Shhhh..."

Jimin's hushed whisper grazes your ear all of a sudden, before you feel his palm press against your mouth to block you from screaming despite your vigorous wish to do so, your completely naked body turning around in full shock to face an equally naked Jimin. He glides the white shower curtain shut with his other hand, hiding the fact that you're both dripping in warm water together in the same showering stall in the girls locker room. He widens his eyes to threaten you into not making a sound before gradually lifting his palm off your lips, his gaze then slowly traveling down from your face to your exposed breasts, not stopping until he's observed every inch of your skin down to your toes, all while you keep gawking at him in dumbstruck awe with a susceptibility to his insanely bold actions.

"Now that I've gotten your attention... don't you dare tell anyone what you heard earlier. I don't want people knowing the real reason behind why I won't be participating in the dance comp this year is because my fucking dad withdrew my fucking name."

Without even taking a look down at his package, you extend your hand forward and grip his balls with a squeeze, Jimin's plump lips parting in a sharp gasp while he tensely holds his breath in from your sudden touch.

"You'd think after the terrible lack of respect you seem to get from your own dad, you wouldn't want to put others through the same. But lucky for you, I'm not like you. Your secret is safe with me."

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beevean · 4 months

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Top 10 favorite CV characters!

I remember when you sent me this ask a year ago! I was in the middle of playing CoD and I still had other games to go lol. Well...

10) Julia. She deserves more than for being remembered for an awkward romance plot :( I like her coy attitude towards Hector, and I'm intrigued by the implications that she's repressing her pain for the Isaac situation, for the sake of assisting the man who wants to kill her brother.

9) Walter. Honestly for a guy just meant to be Beta Dracula, the dude is very fun! He's like a Dracula if he didn't even pretend to have a shred of decency or justification :P dude just wants to play with his food because he's bored, and he's entertainingly cruel about it, from deliberately turning the women he kidnaps for shit and giggles to subjecting Joachim to a fate worse than death. Proof that villains don't always need a tragic backstory, as long as they have style.

8) Joachim. I warmed up to the guy! He reeks of "cut from development", because his concept is very fascinating and he's so wasted as a random boss. He's antagonistic to Leon because he's a haughty vampire who clearly thinks he deserves at least his castle lol, but also to Walter because holy shit the dude really punished him in an exemplary manner. That art of him looking out of his mind says a lot. Also he has very cool powers that make him a joy to use in Joachim Mode.

7) Leon. A pure, noble-hearted knight, so honest that he won't even take a sword that didn't belong to him, who only wished the wellbeing of his fiancée and his best friend... and oh. Oh how he paid for it :) Leon's story is utterly miserable, made even worse by how he ends his game with the most depressing canonical ending imaginable. My man has immense mental fortitude, and I love the scene where he angrily rejects Mathias' offer of immortality because he'd rather honor Sara's dying wish, unlike a certain vampire we know... but he didn't know that, by swearing revenge on the newly-turned Mathias, he'd doom his own lineage to a lifetime of terrible pressure...

6) Rosaly. girl <3 I once again have to thank Ayami Kojima and Kou Sasakura for breathing life into this character, especially the latter. She's just an aggressively kind girl who will love you to death. Even if others think she's too nice or too trusting, she stubbornly helps people because she likes to do so. And I find it a very interesting detail that she seems absolutely unconcerned with Hector's past: she only sees the good in him, without the baggage. I find her endearing :)

5) Trevor. He's the Sonic of Castlevania. He's shaped like a friend <3 I like what personality we can glean from CV3: that despite being shunned by people for his powers (now where did I hear that before) he was ready to accept the quest of slaying Dracula - he didn't even do it for the Legacy, he's just that much of a brave guy! - and he was able to easily befriend and lead all sorts of people, hinting at his charisma and at his good heart. And of course in CoD he's just sass central :P I forgive his weird hostility against Hector because, despite his cockiness and ferocity, I like how he still takes the time to give credit to his friends for their victory <3

4) Dracula. The bastard himself :) I really like how, by being the most recurring character in the series, he ended up being quite fleshed out. His tragic story does little to justify how much of a hypocritical asshole he is. He loves so intensely, yet so selfishly. He wants his son by his side, but only after cutting his human heritage. He takes two abused boys under his wing, but only to raise them as his loyal knights and forgerers of armies. And overall, you can see the degradation of his morals and even his personality through the centuries, as he loses a piece of his humanity with every resurrection... not that he was a saint as a human, either.

3) Shanoa. Things Shanoa deserved: the world. Things Shanoa did not deserve: all the shit that happened to her :) it's hard to make an interesting character out of an amnesiac without emotions, yet Shanoa is intriguing. This girl who was taken in by Ecclesia as a young child, raised to become a weapon to vanquish all evil yet constantly protected by Albus... even when she loses everything, even when she learns that her entire life is a lie and for her beloved mentor she was nothing more than a lamb to the slaughter, she still wants to fight, she still chooses to sacrifice herself. And by the end, she finds a place to live in Wygol Village, after rescuing and befriending all the villagers. also she kitty :3

2) Isaac. A pathetic wet cat of a man <3 just terrible in every way <3 miserable and bitter and ready to make it everyone else's problem <3 genuinely tragic backstory of terrible loss that makes you pity him but never to the point of excusing his terrible actions <3 how much he strives to be nothing but a tool and dying as one (and a defective one too) <3 absolute banger of a theme too <3

Hector. I just think he's neat.

I talked enough about the guy. I know that he's basically a smoothie of Alucard and Guts. But something about his journey of self affirmation, how he chose to serve Dracula out of a need to belong somewhere then chose to put his principles above his trauma but still paid the consequences for his past alliance and betrayal, the parallels with Isaac and Dracula showing that yes you can fall into evil but you can rise again as many times as you want, his development thanks to Rosaly, his struggle with his own humanity and powers... It just speaks to me, what can I say.

#castlevania #akumajou dracula #julia laforeze #walter bernhard #joachim armster #leon belmont #rosaly castlevania #trevor belmont #dracula castlevania #shanoa #isaac laforeze #hector castlevania

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meaningful-negativity · 1 year

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His head dips for a moment in silent acknowledgement. Oh yes – things were always very exciting in the Thorn dynasty shit-storm. ( There were so many secrets buried in shallow graves, half decayed skeletons in closets, and demons of past misdeeds littered through the decades all leading right back to Damien. ) Of course, what old money family didn’t have those features ? No, so long as they all stayed out of sight – things could continue as normal.

He blinked, genuinely struck by the statement of bravery. Yes, he supposed he was being brave about a lot of circumstances in his life, but his societal position was not one such thing. It was simply destiny now - a legacy in the making.

“ You know, I rather like the sound of St. Damien of Chicago. Has a good ring to it, don’t you agree ? “

Bile rises in the back of his throat, hot on the heels of the blasphemy rolling so casually off his tongue. He holds it back, never allowing the momentary discomfort to show. Instead, he silently apologizes to his father - the mark of the beast on his scalp going from a burning sensation to an annoying itch.

( Even the devil had a sense of humor, it seemed. )

“ What do you mean ? If lunatics come knocking on my door — I’m going to forget exactly who I am & give them the address to your place ! “ Damien teased. ( If he’d still been a school boy, he’d have stuck his tongue out to punctuate the fictitious point. ) He’s used to inspiring a healthy interest in governmental affairs, but very few people does he take under his wing personally.

He shook his head, suddenly very earnest in his assertions:

“ Don’t mention it – I’m always glad when other people take interest in the current administration affairs. I’m surprised I haven’t bored you with all my diplomatic legislative blather. “

"I'm a scientist Damien, there's not much that can bore me as I like leaning new things all the time. I have a lot of room for diplomatic blather as you call it but I find it very interesting where other might find it boring." Thomas tilts his head to the side and then nods his head "I always like to interest people in science and things of that nature because I believe in it strongly and it seems that you believe in politics in the same way. It's refreshing to find a man that's dedicated to something."

He chuckles then cocking an eyebrow at the other man "Send them to my house you say? Well, I guess you could but I'm very selective about who I allow to darken my doorstep and the fact that I live in a gated community helps that immensely." Thomas walks over to the edge of the clearing they are standing in and smiles over at Damien "I would never have taken you for a nature lover Damien but there's much to you that I don't think that I know or that anybody else does either and I find that I'm fine with that."

His brow furrows before he laughs at what Damien says "Ah yes, Saint Damien of Chicago sounds right if you think about it a bit. I think you have some qualities that people would think you a saint like listening to my blathering on about all my experiments and such but there's to much of a darkness to you to actually be a saint of any kind. I find that people with dark sides tend to be passed over for things like that and I'm one of them so I gave up being a saint a long time ago."

"But people can be many things and brave can mean stupid also if you ask some people." Thomas then laughs at himself then nods his head "Sorry about that, I have my own set of theories on what makes a man brave but you fit into them." He tilts his head to the side and cocks an eyebrow at him " I think that anyone is brave who has an idea of what the world should be like."

@omen-promised

#omenpromised #m; thomas

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heresathreebee · 3 years

Text

The One Where She Got A Dog

Yelena Belova X Reader

Summary: how Yelena became a dog mom Masterlist Part 2

Tags: E | 1.8k words | scary movie, winter, secret pasts, sapphic

AN: Black Widow movie really got me in my feelings about those characters, Yelena in particular. I havent watched The Thing in almost a year please look the other way if movie events are out of order.

Pretty Russian girls are not usually your type, but fuck if you weren't absolutely obsessed with this one. You laughed when she told you she was from Ohio. She laughed when you said you were too.

Aquavit and your grandma's biscuit recipe brought her into your cabin on the edge of the world where she admitted to you she had never seen John Carpenter's The Thing before. You turned it on just as the snow storm set in and wrapped up in your thickest blankets with her. You're trying not to get your hopes too high but she's not shy about asking you to scoot closer.

"Skäl," you cheer just as the ominous opening credits end and they find the mysterious ship in the frozen wasteland of antarctica.

"Have you ever been?," Yelena asked.

You grimace at the strong taste of aquavit. It's like vodka but with caraway for 'flavor'. You look at her from the side and poor yourself a second shot. "Been…?"

"There." She points at the screen.

"I have actually," you admit in a way you hope is flat and uninteresting, "have you?"

Yelena shook her head. It's possible she might think you're being sarcastic (you cross your fingers under the blanket and hope she does). She's smiling at you, thinking something (but still watching the screen with interest).

She drops the subject until you have to pause the movie to pee. You unwrap yourself from the cocoon of blankets and as you stand she asks you another question.

"What were you doing there? in Antarctica, I mean."

You sigh and pretend to brush something off of your pants. "Science trip with my parents. Shitty vacation for me I'd rather be in the Bahamas."

You resist the urge to look at her. After taking care of business, you come back just in time to put the biscuits in the oven. You hear Yelena lean into the kitchen archway as the floors creak immensely here.

"No timer?," she asked.

"No timer," you confirm. "I use the timer of my heart."

Yelena scoffs. "Please don't burn them, I'm curious about these… what are they– pastries?"

"Something like that."

The two of you went back to the movie just as the gang on screen is trying to decipher who is human and who is not. You feel like something between you has changed and sadly not for the better.

But she can't know.

"I hate this part," you say, making absolutely no move to avert your gaze.

Yelena is startled when the doctor's arms become trapped in the bear trap belly mouth of the "man" on the table. She quickly covers her eyes and giggles manically, slapping your chest for the vague and unhelpful warning. You realize she's not as close to you as before…

There's 20 minutes left of this movie and you haven't seen a single thing on screen. Yelena stopped asking you questions when you stopped being coherent with your answers. All you can think about is telling her.

But you can't tell her. She would never understand. You barely understand and it's about you.

"I lied." Your heart beats in your throat as you see her face you but you can't look at her directly for fear of losing your nerve. "About the science expedition? That's not why I was in Antarctica…"

Yelena seems to wait for you to continue but…

"Eh, no offense but, " you gesture with your hand, "I don't really know you like that."

Yelena gave your reply a single nod. "I suppose that's fair."

You can't help but fidget in your seat. "Idliketo"

"What was that?"

You cleared your throat. "I said… I said I'd like to. Know you like that, I mean…"

Yelena gives you a smile. "I would like to know you like that, too."

The movie ends, the biscuits are not burnt but buttery soft and golden brown, and the blizzard outside has subsided some. It's still going but at least it's not buffering the doors and windows like before.

"How can you watch that film in a place like this?" Yelena cannot get enough of those biscuits, stuffing them in her mouth 2 at a time. "Does it make you paranoid?"

"Yes it does," you say, putting your coat on, "I think that's what makes it so much scarier– looking outside and being scared every person you come across ain't who they say they are. Sometimes its not a bad thing though... I think it is rather… poetic, too."

Yelena's eyebrows furrow. "Where are you going?"

You put on your boots and hope the duct tape stays on the hole you covered earlier. "Dogs are out in the shed. It's heated and they have food, but not for days and I'd rather have 'em in the house where I can take care of them."

As you finished your sentence you reached for the door, but stopped when you noticed Yelena getting dressed too. She gives you a nod as soon as her hood comes up, and you give this brave thing an appreciative once over.

The snow that nearly all melted before is up to your knees now. Fresh, white, and fluffy. It muffles sound like the world's sidelong turning. The odd snowflake wafts lazily from the sky, but for the most part it's died down. You teach back and take Yelena's gloved hand to keep from staying too far apart.

"You know I always wanted a dog," she said. She could have said it in a whisper from 100 yards away and you still would have heard her– that is how eerily quiet it is.

Yelena squeezes your hand and you squeeze back. She's probably remembering the movie. You try to distract her by saying, "Oh yeah? You can have one of mine then."

Yelena laughs, then stops. "You serious?"

"As a heart attack." You finally reach the door to the shed and unlatch the door. A chorus of barks begin and you charge forward to nudge them back to give Yelena space to come in as well. "I do some breeding up here– just a side job. They're usually working dogs but they can be pets too."

Buck licks your face from chin to forehead and you push him back. "Down, boy! Show some respect!"

Yelena has two of the mongrels circling her, sniffing all her clothes and demanding to be pet. "That's Burt, Barney, and Bella. Buck's my stud, but these heathens are going to a farm. They've got sheep to watch."

Yelena chuckles as her hands get covered in slobber. "I love them."

They're almost grown, three quarters the height of their father. Buck didn't even look in Yelena's direction because he knows you give him treats. You take your scarf off as the heat of the shed threatens to smother you and search your pockets for jerky.

"She's in there with the new puppies." You point to a darkened closet. "Don't get too close now, she's still a little protective."

Yelena creeps closer. You see her look at you from the corner of her eye. Probably terrified by the morphing dog scene from the movie. You give her an encouraging smile and tell her where to find the light. It's a pull cord and it bathes the room in a warm golden yellow light.

Yelena's heavy, controlled breathing turns into a coo. Mama dog is laying on her side watching the newcomer closely. There's a pup asleep in the nest of her legs, another chewing on the hay that litters the ground, and the last one is biting their mother's ear. Yelena looks back at you with an adorable pout on her lip.

"So cute…"

You chuckle and put your arm around her. Buck knows to steer clear of mama dog and slinks off. You make your guest walk closer with you to show mama she's got your confidence.

"Yelena, this is Beyonce." Mama dog's ears perk at the sound of her name. "Beyonce, this is Yelena. Be nice."

You reach down and scoop up the hay eating puppy at your feet. "This one's always hungry."

You put the pup in her arms and scoop up the biter. "This one likes to play. All the time. Got more energy than the blue Energizer bunny actually."

The pup in question is literally trying to wriggle out of your hands in its eagerness to climb you and eat your hair.

"And that one sleeps a lot?" Yelena nodded her head at the last pup.

"Pretty much." You put the writhing excited puppy down before it hurts itself and look up into the rafters. "And then there's the climber…"

You both turn your heads when you hear a tiny bark. A cute little face stares down at you from the rafters and there's a feather stuck to its nose. You shake your head knowing this pup got it from ripping up pillows in another part of the dog house.

"Better go get her," you said, not moving an inch to do so.

Yelena sees your challenge and rises to it. As if trained to do exactly so, she assesses the wooden interior for foot and hand holds. You can see the wheels turning in her head as she calculates what will and won't support her weight. In the sweep of a single moment, she rises from the door and swings herself into the rafters using a build up a momentum to propel her fast in an upperward direction. She completes the climb and balances with ease, reaching out to collect the happy wagging miscreant from her mountain top, tucks her in her jacket and climbs a different way down.

You stare at her. "Were you raised by trapeze artists?"

Yelena laughs. "I thought everybody was."

The pup is safe and happy and eager to explore its new friend. Yelena lets her lick, sniff, and scratch at her skin, her clothes, her hair. The pup catches Yelena with a tiny lick right on the tip of her nose and Yelena looks back at you with adoring eyes.

You smile. "Got a name for her already don't you?"

"Yes," Yelena whines, "no, are you sure about this? I should probably tell you I've never had a dog before…"

"I can tell your good people," you reply. "And smart as a whip. You'll adapt, just call me if you ever need anything."

Three weeks later you get a phone call from an unknown number. It's Yelena giving you an address and making you swear never to tell anybody about it. You don't have any friends so it's an easy secret to keep.

You drive a few miles south and stumble upon a stationary trailer in the middle of nowhere, nothing but clearings and trees and sky. Actually very similar to your own home.

The door opens and Yelena greets you with a beer and the pup under her arm, already almost a foot bigger than she was before.

"Her name is Fanny." You both laugh yourselves hoarse and pile into the trailer to puppy proof the place.

#three bees writing #yelena belova #yelena belova x reader #yelena belova x female reader #black widow #black widow spoilers #black reader insert

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cowboyjen68 · 5 years

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How do you deal with internalized homophobia? I feel as if I'm taking on the despair and injustice of the world. I am paranoid that my father (whom I still live with) harbors homophobia or resentment to lesbians and gay men, even tho he says he accepts me. I tried talking to him about it a month ago and it didn't end well. I've been feeling such strong self hatred that comes out of the blue and it scares me. How have you learned to own your lesbianism? Does it get better in time?

Hi. I apolgize for the delay.. this is a tough one and I needed time. Sadly.. we all do..to some extent have or have dealt with internalized homophobia. This thing about it is, we don’t usally recognize it and when we do we have a hard time seperating what is a natural feeling and what is bullshit from the outside of us.

HINT: if it makes you hate something about youself.. it comes from the outside.

Dad’s are real people and if he is saying it. that might be as far as he can get right now. Rememeber.. you have been dealing with this in your head for years. You are still coming to terms with it. Allow him the time and space he needs to process it. And the good news is.. If he is not violent or mean or emotionally abusing you.. you can make a go of living with him until you can get out on your own. You are not responsible for his feelings. He will either get over it or he won’t There no point is trying to “convince “ him otherwise. He might need time.. He might not come around but the stress of rehashing the discussion is not worth it. If he has questions, cut him a break if they are offensive and do your best to answer. Hopefully he is asking from a good place and just using language he knows rather than what you would use.

What you can do is let him know if he ever wants to talk or had questions he can ask you and you will do your best.

What you are feeling is coming from a culture that consistently tells us that sex is bad and lesbians and gay people are only about sex. We are also told that women are less, therefore the love between two women is benign. Any sex or attraction and deviates from the acceptalble Man and Woman is perverse and dirty, or at least a sign that we are broken. We know on an intellectual level it is not true but just as we are told the word for sky is sky and we believe that and always we take it for fact. If you taught someone the word for sky was moon they would believe it, argue they are correct, ignore all evidence they are not. So.. we internalize the culutures not to subtle ideas that same sex love and attraction is wrong, even though we know it is innate to us.

Here is the pep talk. I was unhappy to be a lesbian.. I mean UGH.. if I like girls I can’t “find a nice boy’ and make my parents happy. I have to find the 3 other lesbians that exist in the world and hope I think they are pretty. I have to tell people I am, blech.. a lesbian. BUT I met other lesbians.. I made friends with stong powerful women who said what they were and looked people right in the eye.. Brave and deifiant and yet kind and loving. I was amazed at their strength. They taught me the beauty of connecting with other women as only lesbians and bi women can. And by 24, after a trip to Michfest and knowing my friends for 2 years. I no longer would have sold my soul to be straight. I realized that being a lesbian was my soul. IT IS THE best part about you.. I promise. Embrace being a lesbian. You have the power to not really care what men think. You have the power to make another women feel wanted and loved, sexy and safe. TAKE THAT universe!

Take your time.. go easy on yourself but start to recogize the lesbian things in you and love them. Notice how you treat women, how you notice their neck, the way they hold ther hands. You are unique, as a lesbian, being able to have that experience.

TIme helps you grow confidence if you can find positivity.. whether on blogs like mine or in the real world. It gets better.. way better. Don’t wait until your late 40′s to figure it out. Start now. If you ever need a pep talk about how great being a lebain is, my DM”s are always open.

An after thought.. find lesbian centric fantasy.. Merry Shannon, Jane Fletcher. GO to https://www.boldstrokesbooks.com/ and immerse yourself in fluffy lesbian literature.. Those books with give you strong ( especially the Rangers at Roadsend series) powerful and diverse lesbian character. Reading positive women heros as the norm will hlep immensely.

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blackjacktheboss · 6 years

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Hi. I'm a big fan of your headcanons and writing. I saw a post somewhere about how Percy and maybe even Annabeth shouldn't have been part of the seven. If you could choose, who would you have preferred as the main HOO characters?

hello! hmm the thing is I don’t mind who the 7 were I just wish they didn’t each have some immensely rare powers and were blessed by a patron goddess who had been grooming them since birth to be A Hero ya know? like.. I’m tired.

7 alone is an ambitious number of primary characters especially when you tell your stories from character POVs. I feel like it wasn’t who the 7 were but how the 7 were. So personally I wouldn’t change the roster I’d just change how their stories were told

Percy and Jason would Not be “bros”, but rather would have like a low key Cold War going on. They’re not sure of each other but don’t wanna rock the boat for the rest of the crew.

Annabeth talks to Percy more about her quest from her mom and wonders if this was always why her mom helped her. “Has she just been… waiting… for this? For me to be able to do this for her? Would she have helped me when I was 7 if she didn’t think I could do this?”

Hazel is uncomfortable around the White Kids and gets squirrely when she’s left alone with them. She either has to have the curse or a special connection to Hecate. Can’t be both. Gotta find some other way to tie her in to the story. It was wayyyy too much. OR if she does have both, we have to dive into her history as a black girl from New Orleans. Have Hecate tell her about how her grandmother was a respected woman back in the Motherland. How the magic came off of her in waves, and when she arrived in America in shackles, she promised herself she would keep her traditions alive. Hazel’s mother was never doing “tricks” or scamming tourists, she was manipulating what little of the magic she could because it had never come to her naturally. But Hazel? Oh Hazel is a carbon copy of her grandmother, and Hecate can see the same power in her that she saw all those years ago in her grandmother.

“If you knew my grandmother, why didn’t you save her? Send her back? Set her free?” “Mortals do terrible things to each other, Hazel, and it is never my place to intervene. Your grandmother had people she took care of, people who needed her. That meant more to her than freedom. Besides, she told me not to worry about her for she had a vision.” “A vision of what?” “A vision that from her roots would come a sapling so strong, so vibrant, so Powerful, that her freedom would not be denied. And that with her, she would carry the spirits of all who came before her and stand tall on a mountaintop. She was talking about you.”

Frank’s curse would actually be a curse!!! I’ve talked about this before but I would have killed off Frank. It’s fucked up and I hate myself for it, but thems just the facts. My boy’s piece of driftwood would burn a bit every time he used his powers, but he doesn’t tell anyone. In the final battle, he has to use his powers a lot and suddenly Hazel sees smoke coming from inside Leo’s fireproof bag. Somewhere in the battlefield Frank has fallen and his friends run to him. He asks if he’s cleared his family’s name with the Legion. Asks if he succeeded. Says he hopes his mother saw how brave he was. “She always told me to be brave.” And the fire leaves Frank’s eyes as his friends watch his driftwood turn to ash.

Leo has a come-to-Jesus moment where he brushes the chip off of his shoulder and decides to not be a dick. Of all the dreams he could have had, I wish for him a dream of his mama. Where she tells him it’s not his fault, like the scene in Good Will Hunting!! He deserves that. And then later he has another dream with her again and they have a heart to heart when he’s thinking about hiding his plan from his friends where his mom tells him what she wishes she could have told him in person about friendship and loyalty and love and family. “I’m sorry mijo. I was always supposed to teach you this in person.” “It’s ok Ma, I know you would if you could” and he just has this new lightness to him. He’s still the jokester because coping mechanisms don’t change over night but the edge to them is gone.

Piper gets to go the Fuck off on her dad for being a POS. I would love if her and Aphrodite had a conversation at some point about the “break one person’s heart” rule and like idk Aphrodite explaining some Truths about love to Piper and us getting to see more of Piper’s journey where she stops hating and starts participating ya feel.

Jason gets some Real Emotional Play. They grazed the surface when he got stabbed and was like confronted by the angry remnant of his mom or whatever. That was weak as hell. Give him a real heart to heart with Lupa. Let him tell the group about when he first got to Camp Jupiter. Let him make some peace with his origin story.

sorry this is so short, I haven’t thought about it much.

#heroes of olympus #the seven #canonverse #demigods

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couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name · 7 years

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Jason He's made out to be the new, better Percy . He is also a massive Gary Stu in my opinion. Leo He's really rude to Frank. I know they got over it but still also he acted like it was all Percy's fault Calypso was on the island even though Percy tried to help. Piper She had so much potential but whenever anyone talks about her being Aphrodite's best daughter or whatever I'm like 'Do you remember SELINA??!!) also she has a huge I'm not like other Girls complex and is kinda obsessed with Jason.

We have REALLY different views on them so I’m gonna see how well I can articulate My Analysis Of My Children okay let’s go:

Jason…I think the point was that he’s perceived as a ‘Gary Stu’, ‘better Percy’ type guy when that’s actually not the reality of who he is? Like, his whole life everyone’s always been “Your father is the king of the gods! You should lead us!” and so he’s had to get used to this role, he’s had to create this character to make people feel like they’re in good hands…but he hates it. He hates being the leader and being in power, but up until the 7 meet up that’s the only thing he really knows. He never really had a chance to discover himself outside of this role shoved onto him. At first, he doesn’t really know who he is other than ‘Jupiter’s Son’.

He can’t help that everyone has high expectations for him, and he’s a people pleaser so he’s going to do his damndest to meet those expectations, but like? We saw how stressed out he was leading the quest in HoH. He was barely sleeping and practically pulling his hair out, pushing himself to fix everything and make sure everyone was okay while ignoring his own problems. That’s what Jason must’ve been like when he was leading the legion- everyone remembers him as a strong and regal leader, because that’s the expectation, that’s what they want him to be, and he came damn well put on a good performance when he needs to, but 24/7 while he’s living in closed quarters with people? Yeah, no. He wanted Percy and Annabeth back so he could stop having pretending he knew what he was doing (and because he was worried about them obviously).

The thing is, once you strip away “Son of Jupiter”…Jason doesn’t really meet any of the expectations placed on him. Over the course of the series he starts worrying about that less and less, he loosens up and actually starts to find out who he is other than what people want…He doesn’t match up to the image:

He’s not actually the strongest demigod out there- he’s a very well trained fighter, sure, but like…We’ve seen Thalia shoot out massive amounts of lightning like it’s no one’s business without breaking a sweat. Jason has to actually ask for a helpful bolt and the effort almost knocks him out. His talents lie with the winds, which…I don’t think ‘wind’ comes to anyone’s minds immediately when talking about Jupiter. And it’s also not a power that, at face value, seems super helpful. But Jason manages to cultivate it and makes it powerful enough to stall Gaea.

He’s not strong and regal, he’s excitable and dorky. He gets so sucked in to reading some book he found interesting that he walks into a tree. He bounces and hugs people when he gets happy. He can’t keep his glasses on straight and looses them on top of his head. He loves talking about history. He got so distracted by how pretty his girlfriend is that he forgot what he was talking about. He got shish kabob-ed and his immediate reaction was “I finally managed to stay conscious for an entire fight”. He was trying to talk a goddess out of killing his friend and the first thing to come to mind is “I’ll get Olympus to make an action figure of you!”. This kid is a LOSER.

He’s not a stoic ruler, he worries about every single person under his command. Individually. He doesn’t lead troops like, well, troops- he leads them like teammates. He’s greatly affected when the people working with him are upset, and he’s very perceptive about their feelings. His constantly checking in on Nico after the Cupid scene, his understanding of Piper’s issues in TLH, his belief in Frank, his worrying about Percy and Annabeth…this boy knew Leo was upset simply by looking at his DRINK ORDER, and then even though Leo offered up no real information, it took him like under five minutes of just observing him to know Leo was heartbroken.

There’s so many other points but like…Jason’s story was about a boy born with crazy expectations shedding those and growing into his own person while still maintaining the sense of duty he had to the people he cared about. He had an entire identity crisis for this very reason. Camp Jupiter was his home, but Camp Half Blood is where he found himself. He loved both places and by the end of the story he came out with a strong and comfortable sense of self. He came out of it with a new path and set of expectations that he decided for himself. He went through trials and dealt with his emotions and found peace with himself and his role in the world. I think it was a very compelling plotline and not ‘gary stu’ like at all.

Leo…We really have to take into account that Leo’s always assumed the role of ‘the jokester’. Despite the fact he’s a genius, Leo doesn’t actually see himself as talented and the environment he grew up in absolutely shapes that. He said himself in TLH- being the funny guy kept him safe most of the time. He didn’t feel he had much else to offer, and no one around him believed he did either, people only kept him around for jokes. I think what happened with Frank was like…his default setting. That sounds bad (and it is) but it really does need to be taken into consideration- we know Leo’s only been in, like, exclusively bad environments before the events of the series. Anyone who just kept him around for a laugh probably didn’t wanna hear knock knock jokes about engineers. His best bet for not getting in trouble or abandoned would be to rag on someone who was an easier target than him. Leo knows he can trust Jason and Piper, and he’s scared of Annabeth but is mostly sure she won’t kill him…but then he gets possessed and blows up half of New Rome. Everyone’s mad at him. Including the three new people he knows absolutely nothing about but all look like they could eat his tiny scrawny ass for a snack. I feel like it’s not a stretch to say he felt an old urge to protect himself kick in, to make sure he fits into this group because what the hell is he gonna do if he doesn’t? The fact that Frank was already annoyed with him for looking like Sammy didn’t exactly help their dynamic…Like, I’m just saying, I think he really stepped it up on the Frank jokes because of his ‘seventh wheel’ complex. He’s used to using comedy to make himself valuable to people. He knows he has to be on this quest no matter what, but that doesn’t mean people have to want him there, you know? He wants to be wanted. That’s Leo’s whole thing? He already built the entire boat but they’re mad at him for things out of his control. He feels like he’s gotta do something else to be relevant to the group so he just…slides into his old defense mechanism and as he’d be used to, it’s easiest to go for the easiest target. Who is Frank. And the whole weird Sammy and Hazel situation definitely exacerbated the whole thing. And it wasn’t fair to Frank, absolutely, which Leo himself eventually realizes and knocks it off. But I just think it’s not fair to say “Leo’s doing this because he’s a dick”. Like, people are often more complicated than that.

As for the Calypso situation…Listen, I think Percy feeling guilt for Calypso still being on her island made no sense and someone needs to assure him that that’s not his fault. However, Calypso didn’t know that. Calypso didn’t have all the facts. She had every right to be upset with Percy. It was going to be awkward with Leo and Percy anyway, because like, oh hey dude while you were in hell I made out with your ex and she loves me now. But like…I don’t think it was wrong for Leo to be upset on Calypso’s behalf? The girl he’s crazy about is trapped on an island because Jackson couldn’t be bothered to check on her! (Which is of course NOT THE CASE but that’s Calypso’s view on the matter, that’s what she told Leo). I’m just saying like, he’s relatively new to relationships and he heard a biased explanation of the situation…It makes sense that he’d side with her?

The thing we need to remember is…Leo and Calypso both have abandonment issues. And from Leo’s understanding, he’s sharing a boat with the guy that had Severely Hurt the girl he now loves. (And if she HADN’T been so hurt when they met, they might’ve had more time as a couple before he had to plunge back into the unknown) Looking at his actions and thoughts from an outside, biased viewpoint might make him look awful and crazy but…From his specific point of view, it makes sense. And Percy was able to see that, which is why they were able to talk it all out. I just think it’s a real shame that Leo Valdez is this complex, compelling character, but people only remember him for fighting with Frank and being crazy about Calypso. It’s reducing him. He had a lot more going on and was a very believable character with easily explainable traits and actions.

Piper…Was one of Aphrodite’s best children, though? She had the most powerful charmspeak in generations. Like, that’s canon. Silena was a great character and a great cabin head, but she had no powers and was a relatively weak fighter. I love her as much as the next, but that’s just canonical fact. Her strongest asset was her heart and loyalty, which were used against her, and she died trying to make things right. She wouldn’t have made it on the Prophecy of the Seven quest. She wouldn’t. But Piper was a powerful charmspeak, was immensely brave, and constantly worked at being a better fighter (which, again, in canon, the Aphrodite kids are not the best fighters). By the time the series ends she’s a wickedly skilled swordsmen, is the only one who can work the cornucopia because of her inner strength and giving nature, has a dagger that can see the future, always knows how people around her are feeling, completely dominated a literal temple of fear and terror, and was powerful enough to order the literal planet earth to sleep. Piper is strong and brave and she’s constantly working on bettering herself. She was able to not only see the other side of Aphrodite, but to fight for it to be what everyone sees. She changes people’s perception of the cabin and the goddess herself. She did have a ‘not-like-other-girls’ complex when we first met her, but she was a bullied kid who grew up around rich white teens in Hollywood. But it’s a complex she catches in herself and grows out of- she stops trying to be #edgy and lets herself be comfortable in her skin, grows her hair out and wears a little makeup and puts thought into her outfits- but she also stops judging other people. She learns to see the beauty in everyone she meets. She redefines her outlook. That’s admirable, in my opinion.

As for ‘obsessed with Jason’, I mean…it really just kinda reads, personally anyway, as “I’m A Teenage Girl And I Think My Significant Other Is Just The Coolest Thing Since Sliced Bread”…? Like? He’s her boyfriend, she’s fifteen. He’s cute and cool and a dork all at the same time. She goes from ‘mega crush heart eyes’ mode to actually falling in love with him, that’s not an obsession, that’s like…a natural progression of feelings. She’s always had her own storylines and she’s fully able to focus on things that aren’t Jason. But of course she thinks about him, he’s important to her? They’re a good match, they’re usually on similar wavelengths, and they work well together. She doesn’t think about him more than Annabeth and Percy think about each other. Piper shouldn’t be reduced to a fangirl just because she occasionally thinks to herself “Damn my boyfriend is hot”. She’s a very relatable and impressive character that deserves more than that.

I really hope this doesn’t end up being like, a ramble, and that I actually properly articulated how I see the characters, but like…yeah. I do love this trio.

#Jason grace #leo valdez #piper mclean #hoo #rick riordan #asks #molly mumbles

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thymika · 4 years

Text

The Weight of a Crown 1: Dear Life

Dear Diary...

Wait, no. That doesn't sound right.

Every book starts with a bait, an attention-getter, but I'm no expert. I would like to write an introduction of my childhood and everything that surrounds me. I won't begin with the typical "Dear Diary," I want to start with something even better.

Dear Life...

My thoughts and stories won't stay in a lifeless clump of paper. I won't write to my own audience. I will write for those who feel like life wasn't dear at all. True, life isn't dear, but it is precious, and it takes many mistakes to live it.

There were often times in which I regretted to be born. As harsh as it can be, and ungracious as it sounds, my life revolved around these toxic feelings. I was an innocent child with the weight of a whole country on my shoulders, and the pain was too much to handle. I remember my old and sick father, he sat me next to his throne and said, "one day I won't be here anymore. Our life cycle will always come to an end, and this time... mine will too. This country will be yours to cherish, and protect with your life." His comment stayed with me and I couldn't let go of it since my duty was to take care of my land. Although I understood the purpose of being a leader, I couldn't understand why someone as weak as me could one day become king.

At the very center of my country was an immense tree. It was as thick and grand as a city, and its height touched the clouds. There were castles and beautiful residences throughout the trunk, and the branches contained the beauty of different flower fields. Each leaf could cover the roof of a house, and only the rich and aristocrats could reside there. It was a privilege to be protected by a tree that miraculously grew enough to house many citizens. There was one sacred place at the heart of our home; a spacious room with all sorts of antiquities. My grandmother once said, "the middle heart of the tree is sacred. Ten different pregnant royal concubines enter the room. All expecting males. The first child to be born will become king. We believe that our Moon God chooses the next king and savior of our race." The room in which every king behind me was born into is the first place I saw when I took my first breath. The elders called it the Tree of Life, I simply called it home.

The strength required to become a ruler is something I lacked. From the very beginning, I couldn't fight, nor defend myself during harsh situations. I faced dangers during my early childhood, obstacles that were supposed to make me grow. None of it helped me achieve the strength and courage I needed as a prince. Fencing required balance, and my feet didn't have the agility to do so. Archery required precision, but my trembling hands and anxiety made me my own target. Self-defense worked quite a bit, but I wasn't brave enough to keep my eyes open when a punch was coming my way. Magic was a tough one. I joined the highest-ranked Academy at the Tree of Life, only to find out that my stamina couldn't keep up with the requirements of a magician. I became the target of laughing matters and the shame of my family. Although I was only seven-years-old at the time, I was aware that I didn't deserve any crown.

There was a huge library at home, and I liked to keep my nose in every book I could find. I was amazed by the wonders of the outside world and desired to know more about such mysteries. It was prohibited to step out of the Tree of Life. I had bodyguards following my every step, and teachers correcting any mistake I could make. I knew the meaning of the word 'jail,' but the freedom I thought I had felt like the perfect description of being jailed. My dream was to see the stars, the sky described as blue and pink, and the sea along with every secret within the depths of our world. I wanted to walk over mountains and feel the wind blow me away till I felt a rush of adrenaline. I wanted to meet those humans my mother used to mention, and the ugly orcs my family once fought. My interest kept on growing until I stumbled upon a strange history book. One that mentioned Dark Elves.

Us elves used to be one of the most sacred races among everyone else. Like paradise, our empire surpassed any other civilization, but all of it changed when Darkness consumed half of our population. Their skins turned dark and their hearts became stone. Such hatred among both elves brought wars, and those wars brought us to an almost extinction. Although we were recovering from wars, Dark Elves kept on threatening our mere existence, leading us to a cycle of death. These are the books that I read, all of them coming from one point of view. I was innocent and ignorant of course and didn't question much due to obvious reasons. I also learned the arts of war, the history of my people, mathematics, sciences, and many others. Studying was easier than anything physical, therefore I tried my best to compensate for my lack of strength by being the smartest boy out there, but being smart was never good enough.

School wasn't always fun. I was the center of attention at all times. Kids would come up to me and ask me all sorts of questions. Apparently, I was an all-knowing elf due to my status, "Prince! What is the real color of our sky?" "It is blue." All of the kids stared at me in amazement, and many were speechless, "have you seen the sky?" "No," "how about the sea? Have you seen the sea?" "I haven't." The questions kept going until I realized that I knew nothing. Every piece of information I had was taken out of books. Lifeless objects on paper that captured the beauty of nature wasn't enough to bring me the satisfaction I craved.

With little confidence, I stood in front of my classmates, made a fist with my fragile hands and exclaimed, "I will step out from the Tree and look at the sky!" Everyone gasped and clapped in excitement. That's when I understood that something as simple as our sky could bring happiness to many. I wanted to bring that happiness into those who couldn't see the world with their own eyes. Someone tapped on my shoulder and asked, "what will you do if you see a Dark Elf?" I stared at her for a moment, and shook my head, "there are no Dark elves in the south," "if you see a Dark Elf, will you recognize it?" "Yes! They are ugly and scary!" I can't believe how naive and ignorant I was! It makes me laugh each time I think of it. Truthfully, Dark Elves are far away from ugly and scary. They can be the kindest beings ever.

Land of Dawn is a place I still don't understand. A continent ruled by both good and evil. Although both are constantly in conflict, I believe that everyone deserves a chance to live. Many ask, who am I? To put it simply, I'm just a man who's fond of writing and board games. To further explain myself, I must say... I'm a so-called hero who can't fight, but instead, I close wounds and heal hearts. Fun, isn't it? Estes is my name, King of Emerald Woodland.

#fanfic #fiction #my writing #l writes #writer #writeaway #mobilelegends #writers on tumblr

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teehee-quirky-kaito · 4 years

Text

"Class, settle down." The teacher Ms Anderson told the students. She and I stood in front of the whiteboard, facing at least 20 seven-year-olds. "Today, we have a new student. He's transferred all the way from Japan! Now, why don't you intoduce yourself, just tell us your name and your quirk."

"My name is Kaito Kirigiri." I said quietly. Even at 7 years old, I didn't like being put on the spot so much. "Um, my quirk is called Hope."

A girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. "What does that mean?"

"I'm not sure, actually." I admitted. The whole room suddenly rolled their eyes and turned away from me, everyone started talking tot their friends. "Um, but basically I can make an orb of white light from my hand and if it touches someone, they are really happy."

I was proud of myself for getting their attention again, but it wasn't a good thing.

Only 3 weeks into school that year, a quirkless girl made me really mad. I accidentally used my quirk on her in an attempt to shut her up, but I didn't realise the severity of it.

One minute she was pestering about my 'weird quirk' and the next she stared at me with immense fear behind her eyes. She was suddenly anguished, devastated, frozen in place with despair.

Another boy nearby gasped, pointing and saying my hair was black all of a sudden.

The girl was only 7 like me, and as I heard my teacher tell my parents later that night, "the girl had never felt so much pain and suffering before then and it hit her like a proverbial truck."

From that point on, my quirk was called "Discord". Everyone, including my own father and former friends, had treated me like I was some sort of villain. "How could he hurt a defenseless girl without a quirk?" Itd split up my parents, my mom left my dad because of how he reacted for years to me and my quirk. I'd even been put into counselling for a few months in the 7th grade because I'd been consumed by my own despair for a while, because of how everyone looked at me. They all looked down on me like I was a monster, a villain in the making, all because I couldn't control my quirk as a 7 year old. It was ridiculous to me.

But I had always had the dream of becoming the top hero. In our society, every country had their top heros. Japan had Deku, the UK had Mr Cane, Canada had The Candyman, and the USA had the amazing Captain Brave. But the one thing all the top heroes had in common... they got the job done and done well, and they were for the most part incredibly likeable. I'm definitely not likeable, not by a long shot. And even here in America we get news of the biggest events involving Japanese heroes, since that was where the World's #1 hero Deku resided. Yea, I don't care much for him or most other heroes for that matter. Theyre unimportant to me. None of them are my inspiration for being a hero.

My motivation is my best friend. My favourite person in the world, Kiyoko Higuchi. She isn't much but she's all I've got. She transferred to class school from Japan in the 3rd grade, and she was so confident was she announced herself. She's just dazzling, she can light up the room in an instant and make even the most depressed person laugh. She was the first person to try to be my friend, even after I told her about my weird quirk.

And she was the first person to accept me, the only one to ever tell me "you'd make a fine hero with that quirk."

That's all I can think about as I submit my enrollment form to my teacher at the end of 8th grade. That's what I think about when he embrasses me in front of the class on purpose by informing me that about 4,000 kids in the Midwest region alone apply to New Hope

Academy every year, and that they have an 3% acceptance rate.

Yea, thanks Teach, like I don't know that already.

But one glance at Kiyoko's grin across the room and my anger towards the teacher is bearable instead of overhwhelming. I simply tell him I know and move along.

"Where'd you apply, Kiyoko?" I ask. We're sititng side by side on a sidewalk bench and waiting for the city bus, but itll be here in around 20 minutes so we're also eating sandwhiches Kiyoko's dad makes for us.

"I'm applying at NHA, just like you." She said proudly.

"I thought you didn't like heroes?"

"Oh that was a front." She chuckled. "I just dont like that they're so mainstream, I guess. I actually kinda like a couple, like Spitfire and Guardian Angel. Oh and of course Blue Wolf is my favourite, but Jade Stranger is a very close runner-up."

I listened and smiled, she could be such a dork. "You're such a fangirl," I said.

She shoved me playfully, talking shout heroes more for a few minutes.

Then, when things were quiet, I found myself asking, "Do you think I'll be a good hero?"

"Of course, Tekitai-sha!" She lightly smacked the back of my head, like she always did, and laughed. "That's all I've been saying for the past 5 years, isn't it? Youll make an excellent hero, the finest anyones ever seen."

"You know I hate that name," I complained, even though it didn't. It meant 'antagonist' in Japanese, and it was something shed started calling me as kids sarcastically, as like a 'oh wow hes such a bad person hes an antagonist'. I didnt really mind the name so much, I just didn't want her to see me blush. She always picked on me when I get flustered, but I couldn't help but get embarassed when she said stuff like that. Just the fact that she respected me and supported me this much, the fact that she seemed so proud to be friends with me, was still so wild to me, even 5 years later.

"Maybe we'll be accepted together." She told me.

"Maybe." I smiled lightly.

A/N:

Sorry for the accidental tense switch ahhh I do that a lot ugh

Hey also I know this is a short chapter I dont like how short it is either, but i cant exactly change much without it getting irritating to read lol

Words: 1094

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