#what i suffered from him is literally unthinkable

[britneyshakespeare]

progress is not linear bitch

#having a bad day about the abusive ex-friend thing. ruminating. #for the first time in like over a week. #might be the worst day ive had since the day i finally told him to fuck right off for the last time #idk man. i gotta be nice to myself #what i suffered from him is literally unthinkable #he's a fucking user and a manipulator and a monster #he lies and lies and lies and lies and lies and it just hurts to think there are ppl who really live their lives like that #like i almost cannot believe it except for that i endured it #and there ARE other ppl who endured the EXACT same thing #and there's no hope for him. he'll never change #that's depressing to think about even if im free #i guess i gotta focus on the 'im free' part but im still hurt #i just dont want ppl like him to exist. but they do #and im still ruminating and tripping and doubting myself and feeling anxious and withdrawn and and and #tales from diana #seriously he can go to hell

[nyerus]

The Narrative Importantance of Hualian's Sexual Intimacy

This is a repost and minor edit of a thread I made on Twitter yesterday. This is a topic I have always wanted to talk about because of how often it comes up in TGCF fandom, time and time again.

‼️CW: mentions of sexual assault, self-harm, bodily injury‼️

⚠️Major spoilers for the entire novel ahead⚠️

---

Saw a question the other day on what relevance Hualian being sexually intimate by the end of the novel had to either the narrative or Xie Lian's character arc.

In short: it bears significant relevance, especially in context of other themes the novel explores like bodily autonomy.

Throughout the novel, we see time and time again that Xie Lian is often dehumanized by pretty much everyone—including himself—with the sole exception of Hua Cheng. I've talked more in depth about it in an old twt thread, for those interested. @/stalliondany on twt has also made an excellent recent analysis that goes deeper into the specific ways Xie Lian was used as a physical shield, martyr, or scapegoat for others without thought to his humanity or suffering. I highly recommend reading it first!

But to sum it all up: it's important to Xie Lian's character arc to keep in mind that he is used to seeing his own body as a tool to solve problems. And in crucial narrative moments, he is robbed of his bodily autonomy, and either brutalized or violated in service of others.

One of the plot points that ties together all these concepts is actually... Xie Lian's chastity vows. That will be the main focus of this post.

When he was a young teen (or possibly as a child), Xie Lian took an oath of chastity because such was the norm for cultivators seeking ascension in Xian Le. To Xie Lian, even as he grew older, he never had an issue with this because he just never felt sexual attraction to another person, or any desire to be intimate in that way. Even if he yearned for the concept of being loved. And indeed, at first glance, his chastity vows may seem like nothing more than a side note. Or even a funny gag when it comes to Hua Cheng (later).

In reality Xie Lian's chastity vows are not only used against him, but paint a very disturbing picture with regards to his repeated violation.

The Land of the Tender scene is the most obvious example of this. Xie Lian's vows are directly tied to his spiritual powers, and because it affects how his followers see him. They place a high value on his chastity as being vital to his moral character.

For reference, an excerpt from TGCF vol. 3 of the English print translation, page 135:

Xie Lian's method of cultivation required a pure body. Those who worshipped the ascended cultivators who practiced this path were firmly convinced of the transcendence of gods untouched by earthly desires. If they couldn't protect their purity, their following would no doubt collapse and their powers would be devastated. It wouldn't be as serious as plunging from godhood to back to mortality, and there was still the possibility of recovery after many more years of cultivation—but with things as they were now, there was no time for him to sit behind closed doors and cultivate for years!

As a reminder: it is Bai Wuxiang who orchestrated this whole thing. Him trying to compromise Xie Lian in this way is horrific on many levels, yet that's not the main point I want to make here. It's that to preserve his "pure body," the solution Xie Lian realizes is to severely harm himself. To impale himself with his sword through the abdomen.

The juxtaposition of having to maintain bodily purity versus the gruesome violence inflicted on his body is extremely stark.

This grim contrast is no more evident than in the 100 swords scene. Where Xie Lian's body is literally brutalized and defiled to an unthinkable degree. To the point where he, quote: "no longer looked human." Yet he emerges from that temple physically "pure" all the same. His chastity vows were not broken, his body healed without scars. As though he was untouched.... And yet, he was completely destroyed mentally. It left permanent effects on him as a person. It's even worse when the scene is read analogous to sexual assault, as many have talked about before. I think that interpretation actually hits the nail on the head, especially keeping in mind the Land of the Tender scene and all the similarities between them.

Following the 100 swords scene, Xie Lian of course has a complete disconnect between himself and his body. I believe this is part of why he doesn't really feel pain, except when he is with Hua Cheng, who treats him and his body as one. As a person who is cherished, and loved. Hua Cheng is adamant in his adoring treatment of Xie Lian. Small injuries are also something he cannot tolerate because he knows what horrors befell Xie Lian in the past. (He was present at both the terrible moments mentioned above.) He will not let any of that continue, regardless of what Xie Lian says, because he sees it as injustice.

Xie Lian is willing to use himself as a tool to help others no matter the personal cost. He even thinks of it as something he must do, or that he deserves as penance. But Hua Cheng is the one person who asks "what about you?" He's the one that insists "your happiness matters." And it is Hua Cheng that takes issue with Xie Lian's chastity vows as being unfair, unlike everyone else. Regardless of Hua Cheng's reasons for this diegetically, symbolically it means a lot that he is the one opposed to this.

Just thinking about the chastity vows on their own for a moment: Xie Lian can indulge a little bit in stuff like alcohol, which isn't great to begin with for him. But he absolutely cannot engage in "pleasures of the flesh." He can totally have his flesh ripped from his bones, literally, but actually experiencing any kind of sexual gratification? Now that would make him unclean, and lesser.... Why? Because unlike everything else, that's something Xie Lian would do simply for himself to feel good. And what greater crime is there than to ever dare put himself first?

So Hua Cheng—being the one person who puts Xie Lian first above all else—thinking that such a restriction doesn't make sense is important. Hua Cheng being the person who Xie Lian breaks those vows for in the end is important! (Especially because it seems to have been an easy choice for him.)

And of course, the scene with Jun Wu and the Virginity Detector Sword™ has to be mentioned. Again, there's symbolism to be had! The perpetrator of two of the most physically violating moments of Xie Lian's life (both of which were sexual in nature; one literally and one allegorically) being the one to "check" Xie Lian's virginity... oof. Yikes. It's dramatic irony. It's deeply uncomfortable. Especially because Jun Wu probably wanted to know if Xie Lian slept with Hua Cheng, as he already knew Xie Lian wasn't the ghost fetus' father.

So it's once again a stark juxtaposition: of Ghost King Hua Cheng disagreeing with the purity vows, wanting Xie Lian to break them for himself and his own freedom. Versus Heavenly Emperor Jun Wu wanting to weaponize those vows against Xie Lian in whatever way he can, intact or not, to keep control over him.

Naturally, there's something to be said for the real-world problem with such purity vows being used against people, to judge their moral character, societal expectations, etc. Elephant in the room. It's very on the nose, so there isn't even much to say about it that hasn't been said already.

In the end, it comes down to how horrible it is that when Xie Lian tries to help others, it results in immense harm to his body every time. Yet he is expected to continue to bear it, for centuries, by others and also himself. Until he meets Hua Cheng, who helps him rediscover what it means to be happy, and to be loved. So yes, it's absolutely relevant that in the end, Xie Lian decides to break his purity vows to be intimate with Hua Cheng. That he's able to put himself in Hua Cheng's hands, and let himself be treated with affection and desire. It's Xie Lian finally forgiving himself, and beginning to heal.

#tgcf #tian guan ci fu #hob #heaven official's blessing #hualian #meta #nyerus.txt #crosspost

[trashbag-usa]

it feels like a lot of people have given up on fully connecting ISWM/Engie Mark to the wider lore (aka WKM) since IRL Mark straight up told us he wasn't Actor.

but not only am i a stubborn son of a bitch, but yknow what Mark also said?

"Engineer Mark isn't Actor Mark, but Actor Mark just might be Engineer Mark."

so hear me out, y'all.

preamble; if you saw this in a yt comment section, no you didn't. (that was also me i didnt steal this i prommy-)

i have this entirely insane theory about iswm that Engineer Mark is actually Damien, but only sometimes.

the most obvious places i can spot him is in the abandoned ship with the candles ("captain needs their sleep" and whatnot), as Old Mark (specifically in the empty diner), and most definitely as the "Mark" we see as part of the finale, the one who realizes he was wrong.

Actor is allergic to admitting fault so I Don't Believe That's Him.

this explains the thematic focus on sleep and rest in these scenes, things told to Damien and told to US by DARK several times.

("Don't remember" anyone?)

speaking of Dark, it explains why he isn't there. we DO however see the suspiciously Darkiplier-esqe Ms. Whitacre, which it isn't controversial to say atp is CLEARLY Celine.

that is, until the universe does its final kablooey and Dark as we know him, Damien attributes and all, comes to take the warp-crystal.

and besides, think about it.

given Actor's whole goal in all this, as laid out in the Damien Project, do you REALLY think he would write a story in which all problems arise from HIS OWN NEGLIGENCE? NO!

that would make him a villain, and all he ever wants is to be portrayed as the hero, literally for eternity!

but you know what i think he would do? set up a farce for the most troublesome of his "co-stars".

you, the viewer, want genuine choices? you want to have some real control over the story? some responsibility? FINE.

everyone looks to you, but under your leadership everything goes wrong, no matter what. you don't know why, but you're actively villinized and the harder you try to go back and fix things, achieve an "ending" on your own, the more people HATE you. the more the thought that maybe there IS something wrong with you specifically will stick in your mind as a possibility.

all these options, but none of them "right", creating MORE suffering instead of fixing it just to find that ever elusive end.

damien wants control of the narrative? he wants his old friend, you, the District Attorney to be released from his eternal story and given back to him? FINE.

here's his role back in earnest, given the possibility to engage and choose instead of intrude and twist like usual.

(yes, i do think Damien/Engineer is genuinely going down his own hopeless path while we find our own. in one of the descriptions leading to the final "Hold On/Let Go" confrontation, it says "you're not the only one making choices. you're not alone, you never were".)

he is allowed to fight for the safety of others, side by side with his closest companion, just as they did when they were alive.

BUT, the twist is Damien becomes a genuine villain. in his quest to do the altruistic thing and help at all cost, he is personally responsible for the death of LITERALLY EVERYONE EVER.

this is a personal hell for someone like Damien, as seen from WKM, all he ever seemed to want was help others and guide them towards peace.

for his actions/leadership to fail so unthinkably catastrophically, seems like the exact hell a bitter Actor would want to subject his "old friend" to for meddling. :/

Actor sets the stage for a theatrical punishment game. Mayor and Attorney, together again, taking an impossibly long stay in a personally crafted hell for the horrendous crime of ever even thinking they'd be worthy of ✨️staring roles✨️.

Actor turns you two against each other, and once Damien is brough down to the depths of despair and you have finally learned that true responsibility can lead to catastrophic, painful results, we're brought back to our proper places.

you go to a proper ending, with the Engineer role now being played by Actor once and for all, and Damien once again becomes part of Darkiplier, pocketing the warp-crystal to plant on the box in Heist.

Engineer isn't Actor, it's a role he plays when it suits him and his goals, to make his enemies suffer. he's willing to be Damien's understudy, if only for this purpose.

but at the end of the journey, Actor becomes Engineer to take in the fruits of his labor. ..and maybe invite you to a Heist while he's at it.

BUT HEY, THAT'S JUST A

very long winded """theory""" that is pretty much only insane fanfiction-

#this makes perfect sense in my own head and thats all that matters to me #mark returns to tumblr to tell me personally that im wrong lmao #NO THAT WOULD BE SO FUNNY #yall i rewatched the damien film after i wrote this and when he said “aye aye cap'n” my eyes popped out of my head like in a looney tunes #took all of my strength to not add that to my points bc its so flimsy but goddammit if its not in my hcs now #ramblings #markiplier #iswm #iswm theory #head engineer mark #engineer mark #mayor damien #wkm damien #darkiplier #in space with markiplier #yes this relies on other theories like “adventure viewer is the da” but thats basically canon atp #could go on abt how the capns ordeal kinda mirrors the actors journey to do “the right thing” while also fucking everything up at every tur #obviously we're more benevolent. but im certain the actor thinks the same of himself #hes just like “you have no idea how hard it is being so handsome and misunderstood :'( this is just a TASTE of my pain!!” #then i punch him in the face 10 million times #engie mark

[majimasleftasscheek]

Hi, im very sorry if this has already been answered or established somewhere else but im curious, with your Kazumaji stuff, around what time did they start dating (i.e. after the events of Yakuza 0 and all that) and how?

tbh, I dunno!

I don't really have an established date for that cuz sometimes I'm like man they'd be really cute during y0 and then other times I set it between post y0 and the beginning of y1. The latest they would start me thinks is some months after the events of y1 but in general it sorta depends on how I'm feeling and what silly scenarios play in my head

ideas under the cut tho 👀

if we're talking y0: I like to think Kiryu has to go to Sotenbori for some reason, be it business or he's there with Nishiki for some partying. he sees Majima at the Grand being depressed and is like "damn girl those bags under your eyes makes my dick go *boing sound effect*" and asks him out 🥺 Kiryu gets rejected immediately cuz Majima's in this cycle of 'I deserve nothing but pain and suffering' but Kiryu can't read the room so he is persistently showing up at the Grand despite Majima very obviously wanting to kick his ass. eventually he relents and goes on cute™ dates with Kiryu and realizes oof maybe human intimacy be kinda gucci

if between y0 and y1: Majima's fresh in his mad dog era starting shit with people just to be annoying and Kiryu's one of his targets mainly due to the events of y0. he's kinda like "lol this goober really did some important plot stuff, huh?" and his curiosity gets the better of him because Kiryu is an enigma who eats bugs and Majima cannot suppress his need to get some sense of understanding on this weirdo. in this timeline, it's more one-sided affection from Majima that comes in the form of stabbing while Kiryu is desperately trying to fight the gay allegations and failing. eventually he caves but it's a sorta unofficial, on and off thing that Kiryu doesn't really know how to evaluate for himself. Majima doesn't really care what they are since he's high on life atm and has a cute dude with big boobs on his arm

if during y1: literally just everything Majima Everywhere. Goromi. GOROMI 😩💦 Kiryu is all: I LIKE PUSSY but everyone's like okay big man then why's Majima pole dancing for you huh. the two braincells he has start to click and he realizes maybe Majima wants to hold hands or something unthinkable like that. ngl I like to think Kiryu's thing for Yumi is like a demisexual bi thing where he's like, I do love her but she don't zap my brain quite like the bowlcut freak who knows how to punch me real good and it becomes sorta his personal introspective journey during this time. Majima is also floating in the space of am I doing this for his benefit cuz "training" or am I falling for this dork. he's pretty sad about it cuz of the Saejima reminder vibes but eventually Kiryu falls into his own person that Majima really meshes with and the two of them struggle to actually voice how they feel all the while their pants are down in some dirty alley

if after y1: (going to insert shit from a fic I'm working on) Kiryu's absolutely devastated with what happened in the Millennium Tower + now having to take care of Haruka that he's shut himself off from everyone and everything other than doing the bare minimum to live. in comes Majima being a menace like yo you can't like, let a child parent herself you gotta get outta this slump and Kiryu's all fuck you stop breaking into my house. so it's a long pain in the ass process to help Kiryu deal with his grief while Majima keeps unintentionally making googoo eyes at him and both of them are like boy I sure hope this doesn't awaken anything within me. there's also a lotta dadjima stuff going on and Kiryu's like wowie zowie so you do have a heart and Majima's like no way loser while being just 😳👉👈

#apologies for the way I write sometimes I like to put out total garble because it makes my heart go thumpa thump #god I love them I LOVE THEM #THEY UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER ON A LEVEL BEYOND THAT OF FLESH AND BLOOD AND IT HURTS KNOWING THEY DO #THAT THEY BOTH SUFFER AND THEY FEEL THAT IT'S BEST TO BE ALONE RATHER THAN BRING SOMEONE ELSE ON THE RIDE #BUT THAT RIDE BRINGS THEM BOTH TO THE SAME DESTINATION THAT THEY ARE BOTH BROKEN MEN HAUNTED BY THINGS THEY DID—THINGS THEY COULD HAVE DONE #BUT MAYBE THERE'S HOPE IN HAVING SOMEONE TO LIVE FOR—SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS THE STRUGGLE OF REDEMPTION DESPITE ONE'S NATURE #TO LIFT EACH OTHER FROM THE DEPTHS OF SELF LOATHING BECAUSE THEY CAN DO BETTER #then I'm tranquilized and shoved back into my cage for relocation #kazumaji #kiryu kazuma #majima goro #my hcs

[qierxing]

Love Duet

A/N: Listened to Piano Duet from Corpse Bride and cried from the emotional trauma

Yan! Riddle Rosehearts + Heartslabyul x Reader

Halloween AU

“Tell me darling, can a heart be broken even when it stops beating?”

CW/TW: Allusion to murder? yeah

—

For the longest time, Riddle thought he could never give his heart to another.

Not that he could in literal terms. His heart had long been cut out and his body left to rot in the sheer cold. His groomsmen also suffered the same fate even though they weren’t even the one to stand at the altar. For that, the emotion that he had felt at death was not anger or even guilt, but rather tired remorse.

His groomsmen, his dearest friends, had done all they could to console him as each agonizing decade passed. “One day, your true love will come to set you free.” Trey, his closest confidant had said at one time, clasping a reassuring arm around his shoulders. Riddle didn’t have the heart (no pun intended) to tell him that he no longer believed in love. If the one his mother chose couldn’t bear to love him, then how could he ever be sure that someone else would be willing to?

So when he and his men are resurrected, he’s face to face not with a skilled necromancer, but rather a terrified little mortal. You’re like a puny  mouse, scurrying backwards and falling comically in a pile of snow as the five of them merely stare at you dumbly. 

‘This must be a mistake’ is the first thing Riddle thought. 

It was…not apparently. But it might as well have been. He almost bursts a blood vessel when you sheepishly say, “I wasn’t expecting anything out of a stupid Halloween summoning ritual…” in response to his stern inquiry. Trey has to hold him back from blowing up at you, while Ace and Cater are bellowing hearty laughs, never having been entertained by such an innocent statement before. 

He wants to immediately go back to the land of dead after such a stupid encounter, but it’s you who reaches out for his skeletal hand and pulls him back.

“I’m really sorry for wasting your time! Please, is there anything I can do for you gentlemen to repay for it?”

At the time, he was only irritated and impatient. He wanted to get you off his tail and to never see you again. So he only sneers that haughty smirk of his and replies with the unthinkable.

“Very well. Find a way to let us all pass on.”

Ace and Deuce flinch, Cater opens his mouth with shocked eyes, and Trey also moves to object, but they all fall silent at his raised hand. They all knew that his demand was impossible: the four of them would not pass on without seeing Riddle’s wish fulfilled, and Riddle’s wish…

But you aren’t deterred at all, determination shining in your eyes and smiling big. 

“Alright!”

–

He had regretted his challenge then. He was forced to watch you start to clumsily make attempts on getting to know them all better. There’s something that twists in his chest as he sees you get along with Ace and Deuce, the three of you usually off to prank some poor soul. It slithers around in his guts as he watches as you show Cater how you take photos on your shiny sleek ‘smartphone’ and how Trey teaches you how to make macarons; clenching around his throat and mouth.

He’s repeatedly turned away each time you ask to spend time together and even conversations he cuts short. At first it was stubbornness but…when Trey questions him after he turned down another invitation from you, he can only clench his fists and stay silent.

Truthfully, there wasn’t any good reason. It was petty, at the most. Maybe it’s because you remind him when he was alive, when he was earnest to do his best no matter what. 

It’s finally when he catches you humming a tune that sounds hauntingly familiar that he breaks his silence. 

“That song…” You turn with wide eyes at him acknowledging you.

"You know this song?" He asks, and you slowly nod. 

"Yeah, my mom used to sing it to me all the time." You answer meekly, as if caught doing something naughty. Something tugs him to open his mouth again.

"Your mother?"

"Uh, yeah! She said that it was passed down to her by grandma, and to grandma by her mama–"

How could he not realize it? Like a spell breaking, it’s like his eyes have been opened to the truth. Your face, though long losing the exact likeness, still contained traces of her. Your cheeks, the curve of your lips, your eyes–it was like he was back to that fateful day at the altar.

“Do you, d̶̨̛͓̤̮͈͓̜͔̜̘̙͚̝̀̿̉̓̿͗͆͘͘̕e̴̢̠͕̹̜̼̬͇̰̒̂̑̽̏̈͜͜ͅā̸̠̝͊̚r̵̢̙̹̯̟͓̹̫̮̘͍̼̾͛̈́̾͆̏̈́̌͌͘͠ļ̵̧̭̻̲̰̳̞̥̮͎͚̃́̿́̊̀͂͝ẏ̵̧̗͓̞͎̲̦̭̄̃͊̍̑̑͛͂̋ ̷̪͕̠̰͇̬̜̾͘b̴̲̫̯͈̠͓͙̤̮̓̈́̌̂̈̈̄̈̓͂͊͘͝͝ͅě̵̡̤̗̔̑̂͊͝l̷̢̢̜͓̖͎͍̗̣̲͎̹̖͗̈͐͊͋́̎͐͗́̇͋͜o̶̙̝͎͍͇̝͑̿̀̽͑v̷̬̥̈́͛́̋̊͗̈̑̚e̶͎̗̝̫̗̤͍̘̓̆͒̓ͅd̷̳̜̤͔͎̫̤̞̈́̒̎̇̉̎͗̃̋̈̚͝ͅ, take Riddle Roseheart to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death?” The priest intones. The morning light shines behind him, giving an almost saintlike glow to the man as he presides over the two. His bride is silent, and he frowns as an awkward silence stretches.

“No.”

 A gasp of outrage and confusion reverberates in the chapel, including his own groomsmen, who worriedly looks at him during the exclamation. 

“Riddle?” He snaps back to the present as a hand waves in front of his face. “Are…you okay?”

You’re not her. He supposes it is ironic: fate has brought him back to face his past again, but not in matrimony or love, but in a bet. No matter how much he wishes for it, you were not her.

“I’m okay.” He replies in a voice so distant he doesn’t realize it comes from him. He reaches a hand out to touch your cheek and as your confused eyes meet his own calm ones, he can only think of how his heart is at ease.

“I’m okay.” 

He sighs with a genuine smile spreading across his face.

–

You’re not sure if it’s good that Riddle is like this.

You were sure something possessed Riddle to act so sweetly to you, when only a couple weeks ago he refused to be left alone in a room with you. You would like to be happy that he’s finally warming up to you, but the change is so abrupt that you find it hard to be fully convinced that he truly likes you. It’s like he’s a different person, pulling out chairs for you, brewing you tea whenever you want something hot, and even helping you with your chores. As he stays close by your side, you’re starting to feel a bit nervous.

And you’re not sure how to tell him that you’re nowhere near close to figuring out how to lay them to proper rest. 

It’s like they are all synchronized: Ace likes to lie outright and just brush you off, Trey and Cater both avert their eyes and try to distract you with a different topic, and Deuce is all but skillful with his fumbling words. But they still remain tightlipped about what they wish before they pass on to the afterlife. Maybe Riddle would know?

He doesn’t look surprised at your recountings, but nor does he look smug as you expected him to be either. He only continues to sip the breakfast tea you brewed with a calm expression before setting it down with a quiet clack.

“It’s because their wish is tied with mine.” You blink, processing the information.

“And my wish…” He trails off, eyes staring into his cup. “Do you truly want to hear it?”

There’s something in his voice that sets your nerves on edge, but you can’t abandon your goal when you’re this close. It would be cruel to deprive the mens’ souls from finding true peace at this point.

You swallow. “What is it?”

“True love.” His eyes move up to stare into your wide ones. “I wish to be with the one I truly love.”

There’s a heavy silence that hangs in the air after the statement. His eyes continue to bore into yours and your heart starts beating faster. He can’t possibly mean…

“Have…have you found someone you truly love?” You ask, throat dry and tightening.

His lips curl up into a smirk. “Yes. Yes, I have.”

“Who is...?”

His smirk widens. “I think you may already know.”

You get up abruptly, pushing back your chair and sending silverware clattering. Riddle’s face immediately scrunches in disapproval, but you have more to worry about than a nagging lecture.

“I’m sorry, I can’t help you pass on anymore.” The words are out of your mouth before you can rethink them. Riddle’s face becomes stone cold, silver grey eyes narrowing into needles. His head tilts back haughtily, still looking down on you even as he’s seated.

“It seems you’re mistaken. You don’t have a choice now. You promised, remember?”

–

Trey, though he looked guilty, had no arguments when Riddle ordered him to carry your slumbering body as they traveled back to the land of the dead. The rest of his groomsmen surprisingly don't bat an eye. Cater just grins and says he can't wait to show you around the land of the dead. The younger duo also chimes in that they wanna teach you more scare tactics and hang out more. Riddle also doesn't miss the way Trey tenderly tucks a piece of hair behind your ear when it seems no one is looking.

But he’s glad, because it means he only needs to worry about when you wake up from your forced slumber. You may not like the new change, being removed from your home so rudely, but you made a promise, and he won’t let you walk away from it.

Perhaps he won't be able to pass on, as he regards your sleeping face, but at least he can spend the rest of eternity with you and his men.

#yandere twisted wonderland x reader #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twst #my works #HEARTSLABYUL SLAY MOMENT IN HALLOWEEN

[togglesbloggle]

Free Will is a Value Statement

When I was a kid, we had a dog.  It didn’t go well.

This particular dog- one of several in my childhood, and the only time it went awry- loved us very much, and we loved him too.  But when it came to strangers, he was very aggressive, and very dangerous, and not fully under our control.  We’d have to lock him up when there were visitors to the house, and even then it was less ‘barking’ and more ‘baying of hounds’, and unlike some animals he didn’t suddenly turn nice when he was in the same room with them.  And he was large, much too large for this to be safe.  Things came to a head when my mom was taking him for a walk and he started threatening a small kid playing in their own yard, and she came back terrified that if he ever got out, somebody would be badly hurt.

I remember quite clearly the conversation where my parents told me we couldn’t keep him.  They’d made the unfortunate choice to feed me cookies at the same time, to make the bad news go down easier; the net result is that there’s a specific brand of cookies that, to this day, I still can’t eat.  They just turn to ashes in my mouth.

(The good news is that, against all odds, it seems the ‘farm upstate’ that they sent him to was actually real.  They literally saved the receipts, so that when I got old enough to realize what that kind of story usually meant, they could give me proof that they hadn’t lied.  He did live what I believe to be a happy life in what was, more or less, a wild animal sanctuary.  Not all dangerous animals are so lucky, but sometimes, they are.)

The reason to dredge this up is to notice how unthinkable it was for any of us to call him ‘evil.’  Even when he was straining at the leash as hard as he could snarling and growling at a three year old, he wasn’t evil.  ‘Dangerous’, yes.  ‘Violent’, certainly.  But not that, not ever.

And that’s how it works, right?  We recoil at using the E-word for pets, young children, anyone that’s enough weaker than we are.  Evil-as-an-adjective is for peers and superiors, things which present a genuine threat to us.  You can watch this change for the natural world in real time- us moderns watch nature documentaries about predators avidly, and not as horror films, but our received culture still has ancient fairy tales about the ‘big bad wolf’ that date from before our conquest of Earth’s ecosystems.  What a difference a little power makes!  What was once a real and imminent fear, and a central figure in the atlas of evil, has withered away to a narrative archetype with no material referent, while the wolves themselves become objects of admiration and wonder, or a focus of conservation efforts, in direct proportion to our own sense of security against them.

And maybe you’re not the sort of person who thinks about evil much at all, which is honestly a pretty good strategy most of the time.  It can often obstruct thinking more often than it clarifies.  But even if you don’t, I’ll bet you still think about ‘justice’ a fair bit- and that follows the same rules, for about the same reasons.  The punitive and remunerative kinds of justice, anyway.  Was it some kind of punishment, to have that part of my family broken away when I was a child?  Was my dog’s loss and confusion something he deserved?  Of course not.  It was just- disharmony, I suppose.  We couldn’t find a way to put the world right, and so we suffered instead.

And yet when we reach a certain level of direct personal injury or threat of injury, especially by human causes- political enemies, alien people, angry mobs- then, almost without fail, we find ourselves reaching for this idea of justice.  (And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?) Show me, anywhere in the world, where a person has in all sincerity called for justice- and I’ll show you someone who feels weak.

Now, I can point at sentences like ‘my dog was not evil,’ and it should be pretty clear that I’m making a value statement, rather than expressing mundane factual belief in the same mold as ‘grass is green.’  That is, I’m not disputing any mechanism of action, or trying to explain why events occurred as they did.  I’m not giving you information you could use to prevent this from happening to you too, much as I hope you can.  I’m telling you how I feel, about what I want, about who I am.  I’m telling you about my grief.

Loosely speaking, you can imagine beliefs falling along a spectrum.  Don’t take this typology too seriously, it’s just a useful distinction to make for present purposes.  The first extreme of our spectrum is just the observational set of beliefs- the ‘sky is blue, grass is green’ category.  These are especially good for making plans that work, since they model a system that we usually want to work with in some capacity.  If you don’t want to fall off a cliff, it helps to have a good map. The second type is imperatives or value statements, beliefs about how to direct our efforts.  ‘Murder is bad’ is a belief like any other, but instead of telling us how to accomplish a goal, it tells us what goals we ought to have and what ends we should work towards.  (Moral realists will think of this second category as being a subset of the first; that’s perfectly reasonable but orthogonal to my point.).  Both types of belief are absolutely necessary for acting in the world: the means and the end, if you like.  

Here’s where I reveal my thesis:  When, honestly, was the last time you used the concept of free will to make a plan?

“People have free will” sure feels like a factual belief, from the inside.  It’s a description of who we are, right?  Like saying we usually have two legs, like saying the Earth goes around the Sun?  Only… it isn’t doing any of the things I do with factual beliefs.  It doesn’t make predictions, it doesn’t expand my capacity to act on the world.  If anything, ‘free will’ as a concept has a weird twisty negative definition (often something like ‘nonrandom indeterminacy’) that resists analysis of the reductive kind we usually use for this sort of thing.  

And if we look at how it’s positioned in the grand constellations of human thought, it’s awkwardly conjoined with a lot of the other things I’ve been talking about here.  Good, evil, justice.  I use my belief in free will a lot when I’m talking about culpability or praiseworthiness, when I’m deciding what to act towards, when to cheer and when to boo.  

I use it when I’m feeling weak.

Or, less personally, think about where ‘free will’ crops up in our court system.  And it does, in more than a few guises.  For example, altered states that compromise our volition are taken into account, and might even qualify as fully mitigating circumstances that tell the court not to punish the transgression.  (“I was not negligent on that construction site, your honor, I’m a diabetic and I was having a blood sugar crash.”)  In other cases, such as in murder charges, malice aforethought or planning the crime carefully might upgrade the sentence to be more harsh, whereas a crime ‘of passion’ might net fewer years in prison. (First-degree versus second-degree murder.)  What all of these have in common, notably, is in assessments of culpability, relevant to the question of how strongly the community wants to punish or condemn the situation.  But when it comes to the presentation of evidence, the chain of material observations that we use to establish confidence in the story of ‘what happened’, we invoke ‘motive’ instead- that is, we ask what benefits, inducements, insults, or other circumstances might have led the defendant to commit the act.  “Your honor, the accused is ordained with free will and is capable of choice,” is, notably, not considered sufficient to establish motive- but “your honor, the defendant was listed in the victim’s will as a primary recipient, and they were seen to have a large argument two days before the murder,” very much is.  Interesting discrepancy, no?  When we ask whether we should condemn others or show mercy, we care deeply about the defendant’s capacity to exercise free choice.  But when we ask material questions about what happened, trying to get a clear picture of the world as it is, we instead ask where the defendant is positioned in a causal web of material and social circumstances.

It’s hard, really hard, to reliably tell when our beliefs are about facts, describing things other than ourselves, and when they’re doing something else, paying rent in other ways.  But I notice, when I was a little kid crying in the car, I never once asked whether any of this was my dog’s fault.  It’s not that I didn’t know whether he had free will or not; it’s that it didn’t occur to me to ask.  I asked if it was my fault, certainly.  I’m sure my parents did too.  But we never asked if it was his, whether he’d decided to be this way.  That’s just not what ‘free will’ as a concept was for.

So, am I saying there’s “no such thing as free will” in the sense that I’m saying humans are fully deterministic and mechanistic?  Nah, not really.  To reiterate: I’m not saying that I have any confidence whatsoever that humans are deterministic, mechanical agents.  I think there’s plenty of room for consciousness to complicate the story of causality in ways I can’t anticipate; there’s every chance that human brains aren’t just billiard balls bouncing around in a universe running on linear algebra or whatever.  But I don’t think that ‘free will’ as currently discussed is in any sense an alternative to that model, either.  What I’m trying to say is that ‘free will’ isn’t really a claim about what the world is like at all.

The opposite of a belief in free will isn’t ‘I assert humans are chemical robots governed by deterministic electrochemical reactions’.  Instead, the opposite is ‘I am not angry at you for hurting me.’  Free will is a value statement.

Remember that ‘rate my dog’ parody account, and the central joke was that all the dogs got scores of like 12/10 or whatever?  And the punchline to it all, when somebody tried to call them out on the uselessness of a rating system that always stayed maxed out: “They’re good dogs, Brent.”  If I were at a high enough perch- strong enough, wise enough, safe enough- then that same optimism, I think, is the only part of my need for justice that would survive.  True power doesn’t rank humans from best to worst, or spend time blaming us for outcomes that cause suffering to ourselves or to others.  It doesn’t need to.

[laundrypause]

An AU where Pierre's still an F1 driver but Yuki isn't. He could be part of Alpine but as a chef where he doesn't know Pierre personally but he sees him sometimes in the factory and when he comes to the cafeteria for lunch sometimes. Yuki doesn't really pay much mind to the Frenchman though. Like yea, he's attractive but eh. However, when one of his close friends gets hurt by the baguette muncher, Pierre now has his fullest attention. He's thinking of revenge plots that may or may not land him in jail but the perfect plan just somehow manages to fall into his hands.

Literally.

Yuki was minding his own business, sipping on his virgin martini when Pierre Gasly slips onto a stool beside him at the bar. The unthinkable happens. Pierre, the Alpine driver, the French driver who drives for Alpine, who hurt his friend, starts flirting with him.

What. The. Fuck.

Sorry Josh, that's another euro in the swear jar.

It could simply be seen as Pierre being friendly but the eyes roaming does not seem friendly. At all. Yuki's first instinct was to you know. Throw his martini at the man and sucker punch him before bolting out of the club. But...a more enjoyable plan floats into his head. If he's interested in him then why not play into it? Pretend to be interested too and bam, make his life a living hell for however short they're together. It could be an hour, a day or even a week but Yuki will relish in however long he manages to make Pierre suffer in his hands if it means getting revenge for his friend. So Yuki flirts back.

He ends up with Pierre's number by the end of the night.

Honestly, Yuki didn't expect for them to last this long. It's been a week and they're still kinda together. Since its summer break, Pierre has more free time than he usually does and Yuki's been taking advantage of that fact. Calling him up at 3 am continuously to complain about being hungry, asking him if he could pretty pretty please take him out to get some food? Adopting a cat, naming her Count Meowzilla and dropping her off at Pierre's house saying it's his now. (What do you mean it's mine now? I can't have a cat, I don't even like cats! And why did you name her something so ugly. Isn't she a girl? Shouldn't it be Countess and not Count? Take her bag to the shelte-wait Yuki don't cry. Okay, okay fine I'll take care of her) Those acting lessons on YouTube actually helped, who would have thought. Oh and his most favourite moment of all. Yuki had managed to make himself a copy of Pierre's key and completely redecorated his entire apartment. Pierre should be grateful. His house looked so monotone, at least now it has some pzazz. How he wished he had taken a photo of Pierre's face when he walked into his apartment after a day at the gym. Yuki was just finishing the final touches too, adding a pink bathroom mat here and changing the boring, blue comforter to a green floral patterned one.

"Welcome home, Pierre!"

The way the easy smirk on his face slowly slid into an expression of complete disbelief. Yuki would remember that forever. The once boring living room became more colourful, with green drapes, pink cushions and a yellow throw over blanket. Not bad, not bad at all.

Summer break ends and it's the Dutch GP. Yuki's there too, being the supportive partner he is. He can't deny that he kind of likes being in the paddock, seeing the cars zooming past him. Sometimes he wishes he was the one behind the wheel but that was a dream he gave up long ago. He's happy now with his job as a chef. He's happy. Yea, he's happy...

The race starts dry but it becomes increasingly obvious that there's going to be a downpour soon with how the once clear sky turned dark and gloomy. You'd think that it's ten at night with how dark it was. It started off light then it started pouring as if the world got turned upside down and the sea was now raining onto them. The rain was so heavy that even Yuki couldn't see the outside from where he was in the garage. To say he's worried would be an understatement. Pierre had come in for inters a few laps prior but Yuki thinks that even with wet tires the conditions would be too dangerous to race in. Of course he's proven right not even ten seconds after.

"Someone's gone into the barriers and it's an Alpine! It's Pierre Gasly!"

Yuki probably looked like a madman running into the medical centre. He practically begged one of the Alpine personnel to take him to the medical centre, to let him see if Pierre was alright. It took a lot of convincing but he managed to play the concerned partner card. At this point, he doesn't know if it's really still an act or not. He saw a glimpse of an Alpine race suit through the cubicle curtain and he wanted nothing more to see if Pierre was alright despite multiple assurances from other Alpine team members that Pierre was fine, his tires just locked up and he hit the barriers but overall he was fine. Even while his brain was screaming at him to go and see Pierre, he hesitated. What if he didn't want to see Yuki? Yea, they grew undeniably closer in the past month but what if? He doesn't manage to spiral any further though because suddenly Pierre was standing right in front of him.

Pierre asks him what he was doing here, looking concerned for some reason. Why he's the one concerned when he was the one who got into an incident is beyond Yuki. A calloused hand grabs his own, Yuki welcomes the warmth.

"You're wet."

Huh, he didn't realise. He thinks back to himself running through the rain just to get to the medical centre, not bothering to grab an umbrella. The realization made him register how cold it really was in the centre. All the adrenaline that had flooded his system slowly dissipated once he was sure Pierre wasn't hurt. He was sore but no long lasting injuries.

"Aw, were you worried about me? Did you run through the rain to check up on me?"

"Shut up, no I wasn't."

"You care about m- Yuki?"

It's so stupid, so fucking stupid. He doesn't know why he's crying over a stupid Frenchman's ass. Doesn't understand why he's worried about Pierre, why he needed to see Pierre or else he'd combust or something. Then, a dawning realization came upon him.

Fuck, he cares. He cares about the man in front of him.

The same hand that was gripping his wrist moves to cup his face, trying to wipe away the steady stream of tears flowing down his face.

"You're not supposed to move too much," Yuki mumbles.

And now Pierre's looking at him with those eyes that he thinks about each night. Intense, blueish eyes that he has to will himself each time not to drown in. Pierre leans into him, his head angled down towards Yuki.

"Stop me if you don't want this"

Yuki doesn't.

#yukierre #another day another mental decay

[sneezingfetishftw-fics]

Insufferable (6/7)

And we're live! This chapter took a while to write but it was so much fun to write the Radio Demon / TV Demon rivalry lol. Pretty sure this will be the second to last chapter.

This chapter contains a little bit of glitchtext, but I included the original in case it's difficult to read: e.g., "g̸̥͆l̸̩̈i̶̻͆t̸̰̍c̶̖̍h̴̛̪t̵̰̑e̸͕͋x̷͖͗t̸̻̄" [glitchtext]

(CW for one very brief mention of piss lol)

Previous chapters: 1 2 3 4 5

Next chapter: 7

Wavs: 1 3

——————————————————

Alastor’s cackling echoed through the room as Vox tried not to cry. “I heard your little interview by the way. And miss Velvette, I must say you actually seemed to find some decorum for once in your life! I’m impressed!”

Inside Velvette was beaming, but outwardly she scowled. He was, after all, Vox’s enemy and the one that got them into this mess. “Piss off!”

“Careful what you wish for, darling,” he said as a wet trickle made its way down Vox’s leg. 

“God fucking dammit!” The Vees might not have noticed if Vox’s angry remark hadn’t drawn attention to himself. As it was, he sat there feeling even more humiliated and powerless than he had before. To lose control of his own body like this, it was unthinkable! “Hhhhh’tszzzsht! Hrgggzzzzzzcht! Heh’tszzzzsh! Heh’DZZZZSH!” Yet more evidence that Vox wasn’t the one in charge here. But he could at least keep himself from crying. For now. 

“Anyways,” Alastor resumed, “I notice you made an interesting choice there. Denying Vox was sick at all. Are you afraid of something, perhaps?” Velvette glowered but she wasn’t taking the bait. “Afraid a little illness would hurt your reputation?” Still silence. “Afraid of people finding out that Vox, CEO of VoxTech, got infected with a virus? What would that do to the credibility of Angelic Security? Can’t be very secure if he’s getting sick, can it?” At this point Valentino had finally caught on and was breaking into a nervous sweat alongside the other two (although Vox’s sweat may also have been from that damned fever). “Wouldn’t it be such a shame if someone were to find out?”

Vox snapped forward and stood up angrily, then immediately regretted it as his legs buckled and he fell back into the couch. “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, and why ever not?”

“You… you… I’m your biggest rival! If you take me down, you’ll have nobody to have witty banter with!” He felt pathetic even as he said it, but he kept the conviction in his voice nonetheless. 

“You? My biggest rival?” He guffawed. “Now that is a good one.”

“B-b-but…” he stammered, half out of frustration and half out of shivering. 

“Oh, dear. You seem to be suffering under the delusion that I need you.” And that was all it took. The floodgates had broken again and Vox couldn’t help himself from sobbing. “Poor Vox and his bruised little ego,” Alastor taunted, the mock sympathy oozing through his voice like a sickeningly sweet syrup that should absolutely be kept away from any electronics. Vox sniffed loudly, trying to regain control of his breathing. 

“That being said, you do have something of a point. My life would be just a little bit more boring without your obnoxious presence. And I do so hate being bored.” Vox lifted his head up, his tears getting slightly quieter as he let in a sliver of hope. “But I can’t just let you go so easily, of course. Where’s the fun in that?” Vox whimpered and Valentino wrapped his wings around him. Velvette was watching the pair intently, hoping she wouldn’t have to stop either of them from doing something stupid. “No, you have to earn it. There are so many more ways I could make you suffer.”

“Ha… ha… ha’TZZZSCH! Haven’t I already suffered enough?”

“Ha! No.” The simple response cut through Vox like a laser. He crumpled, both literally and figuratively. With Valentino still wrapped around him, they both tumbled to the floor, and despite Velvette’s watchful eye her reaction time was not quick enough. She breathed a sigh of relief when she determined they were both conscious with no major injuries. 

Alastor started to speak again but he was cut off as a distant voice seemed to be picked up by his microphone. “What are you doing in there, Alastor? It’s time for the next activity!” A bright, cheerful voice… was that Lucifer’s daughter?

“I’ll be there in a few minutes, Charlie. I just need to wrap something up first.” A pause, the sound of footsteps. “Terribly sorry about the interruption. It seems we’ll have to make this quick.”

“Charlie,” Vox said, dusting himself off (triggering a few more sneezes) and getting back up to sit on the couch. 

“Yes, that is her name,” Alastor replied. 

Vox gave a long sigh as he contemplated what he was about to suggest. He hated giving his rival power, but maybe filtering it through someone else would lessen the impact. “If I do a favor for her, will you make this stop?” He paused, remembering the importance of specifics in dealmaking, especially with a demon as crafty as Alastor. “If I do a favor of Charlie’s choice, will you remove this virus from my system? And not send me any more viruses in the future?” Velvette’s eyes widened, but she made no comment, evidently having no better ideas. 

A small chuckle. “Now, that is an interesting proposition! Luckily for you, I’m in the mood to be amused. I can remove the virus on those conditions. But as for not sending anything in the future? Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, shall we? In fact, I think you’re forgetting one detail.”

Vox groaned, just wanting this to be over already. “Go on, then.”

“Why do you think I sent you this little malady in the first place?”

“I’d hardly call it little,” Vox growled, breaking into a coughing fit. “But as for the why, I assume it’s because you hate me? Because we’re rivals?”

“Please, old pal, have a little more faith in me. I wouldn’t inflict this level of torture on you with so meager a reason.” Alastor paused, and Vox’s leg jittered as he tried not to fall off the edge of his seat. “Did you really think I wouldn’t notice?”

“Notice what?” Vox asked, gritting his teeth. The pain had returned and he was really fucking sick of it. Scratch that, he was really fucking sick, period. Period? At least he wasn’t bleeding, he noted, though the thought brought him little relief. 

“The security cameras, of course!” he chirped. “I saw how they always follow me. I felt the shutters close over and over again. And when the opportunity presented itself, I discovered just how d̵͙̈́ė̷͕è̷̖p̷̲̄ ̷̨̾y̷̨͘ö̶͚́u̴͚͛r̷̙̕ ̷̤̅o̵̲͗b̷̞̋ș̸̕ẽ̵̺s̵̤̈ṡ̶͖i̴̘̿o̴͎̅n̶͇̉ ̷̖̐g̵̰̋ö̵̘́e̸͚̐s̷͈̎.” [deep your obsession goes] His voice distorted on that last line, and the Vees could imagine his figure growing more grotesque as his powers showed. Vox, of course, didn’t have to imagine. Alastor’s face was plastered all over the inside of his mind, whether he liked it or not. He felt his screen getting even warmer than it had been from the fever, and a light blue spread across his face like a blush. Since when could he blush? What the fuck? All of this was so fucking embarrassing. “Oh.”

“So, don’t think I’ll be forgetting this any time soon. And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll d̸̛̰̘̦͈̱̤̖͚͉̯͚̹̊̉̄̓̆̃̈̽̉̕̕͝͠͝e̴̛͙̞̍̀̉̎͌̀̑́͐̏̑̇̋l̴̖͎͙̩̜̣̅̾̃̀̊̑̈̀̊͌̊̕͜͝ͅͅͅe̶̢͍̤̦̳͍̤̪͉̾́͊̆͗͝ͅẗ̸͇͇̗̫̗͕̖͎̏̉̕̚ë̷͖͓͇͎̱͙͇͈͚́͊̏͛͊̄̽̀ͅ ̵̲̥͍̺̻̻͍̎̍͂̂͐͑ṭ̶̦̃́̇̓ĥ̷̢̛̛̗̯͈̹̳̫͙̞̈́̀͐̾͌̐͗̎̅͜͝ỡ̸̧̗͚̼͍͎͎̟̫̮͍̜̪̓̌̌̾̓̆̅̓̈́͌̾͘̚͜͝s̴̪̳̹̟͙͉͍͔͛̿͗̐́̈́̍̽͒́̄̔̾͝ȇ̸̬̼̞͚̼̮̉̔̕ ̸̠͊̃p̶̨̯̬̟̙̣̫̰̱̤͔̝̲͆̓̍́͌́͑͘̕͜ḩ̴͔̮̳̟̀̓͛̉̀̿͛̓͆̕̚͘̕ȯ̵̳̯͐́̋t̵̢̢̤͍̹̱̖͍̞̮̲̮̠͛̾͑̆̉̊͌̎̈́͂̈̚͜o̴̡̡̞̟̼͓͍̭̝̳̦̔̑͜s̵̠̽́̔̉̑̊̑͜ͅ.” [delete those photos]

Vox gulped. He debated whether keeping the photos of his rival was worth the risk, and while he knew the logical answer he couldn’t seem to persuade his emotions. Not yet anyway. That was a problem for later. Right now, he had a virus to purge. 

“I’ll let Charlie know to expect a visitor soon then,” Alastor said, his voice cheerful in an eerie contrast to the way it had sounded just moments ago. “Enjoy the walk!”

The walk? Wait, shit. What if someone saw him like this? “I can’t be seen, Alastor. We already talked about my reputation. Can’t you just enable my teleportation for this?”

“And deprive you of the exercise of your own two legs? Absolutely not!”

Vox let out a groan. 

“Oh, dear. You look quite pitiful, you know. It would be a shame to have hell’s citizens see you like this. Hmm… I have an idea! If you run into anyone on your way, I’ll tap into your hypnotic eye so you can make them forget.” Vox groaned. “What’s wrong? You don’t like being at my mercy? Perhaps you should have thought of that before you started stalking me, hm?” Vox blushed and stammered but failed to produce a coherent response. “Well, this has been delightful, but I really must be leaving now. Can’t keep Charlie waiting!” The radio cut out abruptly, and Vox’s fans once again sounded uncomfortably loud in the following silence. 

#snezbin hotel #my snezfic #i wasn't sure if the cw spoils the joke but i figure it's better to have it than to not have it when someone needs it

[crash-bump-bring-the-whump]

In the spirit of that reblog, could you tell me more about Luis? He's the primary whumper in lots of your writing and many of the war mages seem to sincerely loathe him, but then Mariano is shown to have a really trusting relationship with him and Luis clearly cares about the war mages at times. I haven't quite strung together the complexity of it all yet~

Ohhhh my god yeah this ask has activated my Cannot Shut The Fuck Up Disease so let's GO.

Luis is absolutely a complex whumper and hard to easily grasp. He has nothing but love and care in his heart for his mages. He's trained literally every single one since they were 18, and you can't not form a bond of some kind with someone in that time--and all of them know that he loves them. They know he would rather die before seriously, legitimately harming them on purpose without reason. They know he gets zero actual enjoyment out of hurting them.

Unfortunately, they're all special ops soldiers. People who, sometimes alone, are put in situations where they face capture and torture and unthinkable suffering. So Luis has to prepare them for these possibilities. He's seen what happens when you aren't prepared, back when he was one of the very first war mages on his own squad.

He's seen people give up and die, people he loved dearly. He's lost mages, Dimitri and Laredo's old squad, because there was an accident and (in his eyes) they didn't have training and clear guidance to fall back on (I will get to that in the stories though, it's something that informs the "you have to save yourself" standing order he has in place). Luis is someone who fears loss, especially loss of bright, young, talented mages. So he tortures them in a safe area with his own two hands, and teaches them how to read a torturer and captor, and how to mentally recover from the immediate aftermath, and how to escape even if it feels impossible.

He trusts his mages to follow his orders, and they trust that if they do what he wants, he'll treat them well. It's a basic sort of thing but it's necessary for their relationships, and generally he's very fair with not punishing them too harshly for silly stuff so he legitimately does build a good rapport with them all. If they get the training room, or are threatened with death, it's because to Luis what they did was just that serious.

Unfortunately, he does still butt heads with them, and he does still threaten their lives if they decide war crimes aren't something they want to do, all on top of punishing using their worst fears. Over time, no matter how much you love someone, that sort of abuse sours all the good feelings. The good feelings don't go away, bc when they're good they're good, but it makes things complicated.

Dimitri trusts Luis to not freeze him to death over simple disobedience, but he's afraid of him, and he hates him, and loves him, and if Luis approached him with an apology and changed behavior after prison? Dimitri would forgive him, because he was forgiven after making changes and working on himself.

All of the war mages feel similarly, really, because Luis' warmth and care isn't an act. They know that like them, he's also receiving orders that he can't just disregard. They may hate him sometimes, and they may disagree with him on fundamental stuff like "hey, perhaps stopping the war crime stuff could improve our lives in the long run", but they're all stuck with each other in a shitty, traumatic situation, so they make it work.

BASICALLY with Luis I'm exploring complex, complicated feelings about someone who has power over you, sincerely loves you, and who hurts you anyway bc I just think it's interesting! :)

#meta #Ask game #Ask games #The leader #Also Luis was the lamb on his squad #Just a fun fact #That certainly would never come into play as he's training his own mages #Look I have mommy AND daddy issues so now the war mages don't know how to feel about Luis #They do but it's complicated #As it always is when love and abuse coexist #Abuse #abuse of power #I'm discussing frankly really rough stuff and why Luis does what he does and why his is how he is so like be warned #I also talk briefly about navigating forgiveness when someone has horrifically abused you and you still love them #:) all of this will be relevant don't worry

[bracketsoffear]

Junko Enoshima (Danganronpa) "Junko loves nothing more than destroying hope and bringing pain and suffering to all(even herself). This is literally the only thing that makes her happy. She loves destruction so much that she ruined the world just so she could watch everybody suffer. She also started a cult of sorts(a very Desolation-like move) filled with people she brainwashed and used them for her goals. Important to note is where Junko starts off her carnage and her favourite victims as Desolation is also the destruction of potential. Junko attended Hope's Peak Academy, the most potential-filled place in Danganronpa's universe. Hope's Peak Academy is a school that only accepts those with exceptional talent, i.e. the most potential, and this is the place where Junko starts her reign of terror. She turned one class of hopefuls into her aforementioned cult, led to the mass suicide of reserve course students and started the end of the world from there. Later she forced her own class out of what was supposed to be a shelter for the future into a killing game where she psychologically tortured and killed them, broadcasting the carnage to kill hope in the hearts of what was left of the world."

Pyro (Team Fortress 2) "As shown in "Meet the Pyro", even their own team is scared of them: the Spy muses on what could fuel such a desire for destruction, the Scout promptly exits the interview room while refusing to divulge any information them, and the Heavy muses that “I fear no man. But that thing….it scares me”—the Pyro is so scary that he doesn't even consider them to be human. The Desolation is described as “a manifestation of pain, loss and unthinking or cruel destruction: ‘all of the worst parts of fire, with none of the warmth’ […] ‘a reckoning, a surging tide of destruction and pain’ and ‘blackened earth, the destructive agonising heat of burning flesh and land scoured of life, the light with the comfort of fire stripped from it, leaving nothing but the terror of its approach.’” Pyro may or may not intentionally be inflicting the Desolation on those around him considering that he sees the world through Pyrovision, but regardless he inflicts a great deal of unthinking suffering on his targets. He burns people alive, shoots them dead, and hacks people apart with axes, resulting in everybody being absolutely fucking terrified of them. Also, while Provision makes them see the world as a rainbow wonderland where killing mercenaries is playing with babies, when they hallucinate a bear telling them “Fire is nobody’s friend,” they hack the bear’s head off so brutally that bone shards start flying everywhere. It says a lot about them that Meet the Pyro is basically a horror movie."

Video CW: Violence

#desolation poll #the desolation #the magnus archives #poll #redemption bracket #danganronpa #tf2 #team fortress two

[foxybananaaaz]

PEOPLE OF EVERYONE (who like the sjmverse) I HAVE A THEORY!!!!

So I was watching different theory videos on TikTok, and came across THIS ONE HERE (press the red bold words).

And it makes sense, except I'd like to tweak it just a little.

For those who did not click the link to go to the TikTok video, or do not want to, let me summarize the theory in the video.

Erewan stole the King of Adarlans name. How? Possibly some Valg King powers. But he did. He also has two brothers.

Maeve had the ability to world walk, you know, before Dorian took it away.

So what if, Erewan, and his two brothers also had the world walking ability, and the two brothers went to different worlds. What if they too also stole names?

Whose nameless, who would they steal names from?

King of Hybern has no name given too him.

But then there's a character in Crescent City, who still has a name, but rarely is it used. Perhaps the Autumn King is in the process of having his name stolen.

I obviously paraphrased, but that basically what the video says.

Now, as I said above, I would like to tweak it a little, because while I can get behind the King of Hybern, it's harder to believe the Autumn King, just because he does still have a name right?

Also because there is another character who has remained nameless, and only referred to by their title, which has endlessly annoyed, to infuriated fans.

Sarah doesn't do coincidences. What if this character is only referred to by her title, because they literally cannot be called by their name anymore?

I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's jump back a little bit and set my theory tweak up some more okay?

In Throne of Glass, we all(or at least I) thought it was the King of Adarlan who was possessed by Erewan. Only to get to the twist later, finding out it was Lord Perrington.

This in itself shows that you do not have to be the one possessed by the Valg King, to have your name stolen.

Back to where I was.

So there is one character, living with someone so cruel. Could this third Valg King prefer to have her suffer? Could he have stolen this characters name, with no ring or collar to plant a lower Valg.

Does he do all he does, to this character, purely to be cruel, because that's how he is?

I should probably mention that the nameless character I am talking about is... actually, let me wait just a little longer, make sure I've really laid the ground work for it to be more believable.

This character possibly possessed by the third Valg King, have we seen how, or who they truly are? Perhaps not.

This character is still needlessly cruel, and not just to the nameless character. But their children as well.

Have you guessed the possessed character, and by extension, the character whose name they stole, yet?

When it came time to bring Feyre back to life.. oh yeah! This character is also in ACOTAR world. But when bringing Feyre, and then Rhys back to life, yes this character possessed by the Valg King did so, perhaps to conceal the possession.

Perrington did well to hide the fact that he was possessed, but still did things to make people actively dislike him at the same time. So would it not make sense for this character to also do the same?

Brutally murdering his one son's first love, forcing him to watch.

Seemingly torturing his other son, for any reason.

Doing who knows what to make his other sons become so needlessly cruel as well.

Doing unthinkable things to his wife, for what reason?

Could Beron be possessed by a Valg King? And if so, did he steal the Lady of Autumns name?

If you think about it, even Helion does not speak her name, when telling the story of his past with her. And a man who loves someone so much? Should that not have been the moment we learned her name if we had not yet?

Perhaps Helion physically could not speak her name.

The question though, would Beron have been possessed Before marrying LoA, or After. My guess is before. The Valg King within, perhaps seeing the dear Lady as his possession, and then learning of this affair of Helion, could this be why he stole her name? So the male who truly loves her cannot even speak her name?

I don't know, I've gotten ahead of myself.

Basically I'm saying, Sarah doesn't do coincidences. If the Lady of Autumn still had a name, we would know it by now. Was her name stolen from her?

#sjmaas #sjm theory #throne of glass spoilers #throne of glass #acotar spoilers #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #king of adarlan #valg kings #a court of thorns and roses theory #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin #a court of frost and starlight #a court of silver flames #acotar theory

[invisiblegarters]

Only Friends Character Rankings - Ep 7

WHY can't I stop laughing? Oh this ep gets even more fun the more I think about it.

(except for you, Sand. You are just annoying me)

Favorite Characters (From Most to Least Fave atm):

MEW. I don't care, he was doing the most this ep and I loved it. I love that he matched his outfits to his new villain arc. I love a guy with a great sense of the dramatic. Like just keep bringing this energy Mew.

I am not mad about a single thing he did this ep. You keep slaying, sweetie.

On a more serious note, I feel bad for him. Dude is suffering and he really doesn't have anyone who just wants to be there for him. Boston and Top are right out because they're the cause, Ray ain't it because frankly, all he cares about is finally getting Mew for himself just like he always wanted, Chueam is way too busy thinking about how this makes her a bad friend...

This isn't just Mew's revenge arc. He's gonna spiral and he's not around the right kind of people to see that and help him. Ray won't care because he's also spiraling and he's incapable of not dragging down whoever's closest to him by virtue of the way he's spiraling, we already know that Chueam is kinda useless.

It would be kind of funny if Top winds up being the only one who cares enough to yank him out of his downward trajectory.

Ray. All he do is win, win, win, no matter what. Got Mew's love on his mind and he can never get enough. And when he sees Mew's on the rebound, every hand he has goes up

I can't even be mad at him. Dude is getting what he wants - he had Sand crawling up his ass and being sweet right after his accident and taking care of him like he likes without even having to pretend to be sorry for being an asshole, and he gets to worm his way into Mew's affections the way he's always wanted. And the most he'll probably suffer for it is Sand being pissy at him for five minutes. Like. if Mew hadn't been so fucking hot all over this ep I would have to do the unthinkable and put him in as number one.

I am also getting a huge kick out of the fact that Boston was right. He did exactly what Boston said he'd do, hahaha gosh I know I said I don't like being right but that was a lie, I feel so validated in pretty much everything I ever said about Ray and his feelings for both Mew and Sand. He's awful. You go baby.

On a slightly more serious note, the dad was about what I expected, although frankly he wasn't as bad as he could have been. He kinda reminds me of all of Ray's friends, in that this has been going on forever and he just doesn't know what to do anymore. But there's still the thing with Ray's mom - did he not care about her? I just don't know. But if he did, seeing Ray do the same shit must be heartbreaking.

The fact that he was more upset about the car than his kid makes me think not, though, lol.

Also I want him to have offered Sand money to keep Ray out of trouble and for Sand to take him up on it. I know I won't get that but gosh, it would make me respect Sand a whole lot more and it would make his continued involvement with Ray make more sense to me.

Boston. Yes, you read that right. I actually felt really bad for him this ep. Yeah he knew no one would like what he did with Top, which is why he hid it, but I genuinely started getting upset that everyone keeps recording him and then threatening to (or actively) using it against him. Like yes, yes, he did take photos and video of Ray and Mew kissing, and that was wrong. But that's the thing. Both the show and everyone else treats it like it is wrong. Literally no one is acting like what happened to Boston is. And it is. It's fucked up.

Also, while I enjoyed Boston getting yeeted into the pool and I'm not mad at Mew for having some revenge, I feel like we got some real insight into Boston this ep. I think he genuinely just doesn't view sex and relationships the way his friends do. Like he really thought that Mew would just yell at him and get it out of his system and that would be that. It's just a disconnect on a fundamental level. I also find it interesting that he's still calling them friends even after the bust up.

Also, I just like him.

Top. He fucked up, he knows he fucked up. I haven't been mad at him for a while and I still think he actually likes Mew. I remember way way back when he slept with Boston I was waffling between his utter fury either being about feeling played or because he was genuinely hurt. Not that either makes it right, I'm just thinking now that hurt was what it was, maybe he thought it was a fun time before but shit got real fast and now he's sitting there half heartbroken because he actually went and started to like the guy that he maybe only thought was a challenge. Oops.

I don't know. Top can be nasty, he does a great job playing the prick when he wants to and I'm not really into his and Ray's pissing contests over Mew, but I also feel like he'd rather be the guy he is with Mew.

Chueam. She was better this ep and I laughed my ass off at her trying to hose down Top when he and Ray got into it. I also liked that she was the one who was like "great so do we want this fucking A or not?" about the hostel. But girl, if you're planning the party next ep you should know better.

Nick. Baby boy. Honey. You are such a mess but I kinda feel for you, finally. I really enjoyed his breakdown with Sand. It's pathetic but well at least he owns it, I guess. He should fuck Sand and Papang's character to get over his feelings. But please don't bug either of their cars babe.

Sand. So my trajectory on Sand this ep was WILD. I appreciate that he owned his responsibility in the whole blowup at the bar (probably a little too much but well, that's Sand for you) and with Nick. What he did to Nick in particular was shitty and he knows it and he should own up to it (yes Nick recorded the thing I'm not discounting that or acting like it isn't awful. Still).

But he's really frustrating me right now. I said I would defend all his wrongs and that is still true, you can't help who you fall for and for whatever reason Sand is all in on this loser and he won't stop. I get this.

But damn he's so pathetic. What he's doing isn't romantic. It's just sad, and the worst part about it is that he doesn't have a friend to tell him he's being pathetic. I would like to tell him he's being pathetic. Nancy, take it away:

I'm not even mad at him. I just - I've seen way too many people do this shit in real life to find it cute or sweet or think anything other than Sand is a moron who needs to learn to value himself and his time a lot more than he does. We can't choose who we love but we can choose how we let them treat us, and this letting Ray use him whenever he's bored or in need of a caretaker thing just isn't a good look.

I'm not mad, Sand, I'm just disappointed.

Relationships (Fave to Least Fave atm)

Sand & Nick. I want them to make out.

Mew & Nick. I wonder if they will talk again. I liked their one scene together. I was shocked Nick told Mew about the second sex tape but I guess by that point he was just done with it. Maybe that was Nick washing his hands of Boston. I mean, I doubt it. But it would be nice if one of the Pathetic Duo got his shit together.

Mew & Boston. Look whatever that scene at Boston's house was hot and I need them to fuck about it.

TopMew. What can I say, they're finally doing it for me. The preview has me seated, I don't care about Top and Ray's pissing match but I do like Top being there for Mew at his lowest. Genuinely, if we're gonna come out of this with endgame ships and not just everyone going their own ways I now think it might be these two who manage it. And that is insane to me.

BostonNIck. These two are weird to me, because I feel it, but it's like - Nick wants Boston to love only him which he also translates into sleeping with only him. Boston might actually wind up in love with Nick but monogamy just ain't his style. Truly though I think that the biggest problem that they have is that Nick bugged Boston's car. LOL I feel like if they'd had that "I just want you to love only me" discussion in any other context they'd actually come out differently. And honestly I agree with Boston what the FUCK, Nick. I do love me some mess so maybe it's that part of me talking but if you weren't planning on using the recording why even fucking bother? Just to hurt yourself? What's the point?

MewRay & SandRay. I genuinely don't know which I like worse, lol. I do think that Mew will make Ray cry though so I'm into that. Mew's rebounding hard and sorry but Book's not playing it like Mew even wants Ray (although that dancing scene was nice they are very pretty together), he's playing it like he's settling for someone he knows will never leave him. But I saw somewhere that Ray's probably gonna get even more possessive about him after this and yep. Probably.

I would like Sand to make Ray cry but he won't. I used to have hope that it would be Sand to finally get tired and walk away but now I'm thinking it'll have to be Ray, because Sand is to Ray what Ray is to Mew. At least with Ray > Mew I understand it. But I don't get what Ray brings to the table that has Sand so all in on him, aside from that's how the script says it's gonna go. I thought I did for a bit, but it feels more and more like Sand isn't a character when it comes to Ray, he's a cipher. He just loves Ray because we need someone to love Ray and give us that sweet sweet pining angst we all love so much. Doesn't matter if it makes sense, we'll just cast First Kanaphan in the role and no one will care because he's lovely and he does pining so well.

And i get what people are saying about how this show is deconstructing all these relationship tropes, but it still doesn't explain to me why Sand even wants this guy, sorry. He's done the bare minimum and Sand's over here googly eyeing and I'm just.

What I wish is that Sand decides fuck it and takes dad's money to try to sober Ray up, but my guess is that he already said no because Sand has already said that he doesn't put a price on either friendship or love. Too bad he's the only one who feels either when it comes to this particular relationship. But my guess is that Ray will find out that the offer was made and flip out as if Sand took it because all that matters to Ray is Ray.

Well. So long as Sand doesn't do something epically stupid like getting himself arrested for property damage or taking the blame for Ray's mistakes, in ten years he'll look back on this time in his life and just be like "wow, I was really fucking stupid huh." Frankly if that's all he has to deal with he's doing better than the rest of these losers.

Well. Maybe not Mew.

In Conclusion

I think we're heading for a true everyone alone ending and I love that for all of them. Jojo you legend.

#only friends #only friends the series #rankings

[inukag-archive]

hello, do you have any recs on fictions where one of them lost their memories? Maybe some where there are already together? Would love to read them! Thank you!

Hi anon, we hope you enjoy this list of stories featuring memory loss!

Missing Memories by @petri808 (M)

A big fight sends Kagome out into a storm to get away from Inuyasha, her last words of I hate you ringing in his ears as he comes across the accident scene and her car wrapped around a pole... Doctor's say she'll live but without any memory of him, so what is he to do? There's only one thing-- woo her all over again.

--

Return to Me by @dawnrider (E)

A human night goes wrong for Inuyasha and the gang. Another crisis arises as Kagome is met with the possibility of Inuyasha never again knowing who she is.

CW: Traumatic brain injury/head injury, minor violence

--

Purity by Sueric (E)

Naraku is gone. Kagome has the jewel. After seeing InuYasha's torment, Kagome faces 'the truth' of his feelings. Kagome does the unthinkable, and in a final act of love, Kikyou offers InuYasha one chance to fix it. But is he too late?

--

Bump in the Night by @kstewdeux (T)

A year long coma and a rapid descent into madness ends with a confession of love.

--

Forgotten Anamnesis by @splendentgoddess (X)

Instead of just Kagome losing her memories, or just Inuyasha, what would happen if they BOTH lost their memories, together, while traveling just the two of them? Could they fight off youkai? Make it back to Kaede's? Resist each other? Whoops, awkward...

--

Fractured by @ajoy3fanfics (E)

After calling Inuyasha to her side, Kikyo fears that he will run back to Kagome. To avoid this, she alters his memories, removing any trace of her- or so she thinks. How can Inuyasha piece these fractured memories together, and more importantly, how can he win Kagome back once he does?

--

Augmented by @anisaanisa (M)

Inuyasha is a lucky guy. Managing to stay on the right side of the track in a metropolis that near dragged its inhabitants into degeneracy was a feat in and of itself. So what if he hated his job? So what if his best friend was overbearing and his so-called guardian was crazy? None of that matters when you can barely remember your own name.

--

The Way it Was Meant to Be by @writemydaydreams (T)

Naraku wants Kagome out of the picture, completely. Can Inuyasha piece together what happened and undo Naraku's plot before it's too late? Or will he be stuck trying to make the best out of his new reality?

--

I Can’t See You in the Darkness by @fawn-eyed-girl (T)

Dark canon divergence. Time becomes timeless when Kagome is stuck in the jewel and Inuyasha doesn’t call for her. Will she be able to escape the jewel's influence? Will Inuyasha be able to find her?

--

Time After Time by @kstewdeux (T)

After a strange injury, Inuyasha wakes up each morning believing Kagome hasn't returned yet. This causes problems.

--

Missing by @ajoy3fanfics (M)

Inuyasha has woken up in a hospital with no memory of the last six months and is terrified when he finds no sign of Kagome. Worse, he finds out that he dumped her for his ex! What happened to Inuyasha and Kagome, and what does that have to do with his accident?

--

The Closest Moment to the Dawn by @sassybratt9791 (M)

They named her Kagome after finding her injured and unconscious on the subway. Suffering from amnesia, she recuperates under the care of a semi-retired surgeon and a fresh young doctor. But when dark and violent flashes of her past come back to haunt her, Kagome begins to wonder if her past was worth remembering. Especially when a man she doesn't recognize quite literally lunges into her life, accusing her of murder.

--

Unforgettable by Kanna37 (T)

Kikyou, or Kagome? Which one is truly memorable to the hanyou? Kikyou, tired of walking the world only half alive, decides it's time to find out. She casts a spell on Inuyasha, a spell of forgetfulness towards Kagome. But there's a catch - if he loves Kagome more than her, he'll remember her again before daylight falls the next day.

--

I Want to Remember You by Discord1 (K+)

Kagome falls and hits her head on a rock, losing her memory. Including the memory of a certain dog-eared demon. What will Inu-Yasha do to get her to remember him? And what will the plotting Miroku do to get the two of them together?

--

Memories Forgotten by ananova (T)

Post manga. Inuyasha suffers a head injury and loses part of his memory. Will he get it back? How will this affect his relationship with Kagome?

--

Sachi by Quillwing717 (M)

Inn owner InuYasha Kasahara is finally satisfied with his life. Undisturbed, isolated…and peaceful. Until the arrival of Kagome, half-frozen, partially clothed, and unconscious from a gunshot to the head. Worse…her face is chillingly familiar.

#inukag archive #inukag fanfic #memory loss #lost memories

[psychewritesbs]

I think one of the reasons I love Jujutsu Kaisen because it feels like a reverse-parody of shounen, atleast to me. Gege takes common shounen tropes and instead of doing the same thing as the writers before him, he takes those tropes seriously instead of just using them as clutches to make things happen.

For example Sukuna, he isn't just an evil magic battery inside our main hero to get him out of tough situations who gets tamed with time but a fully realized character with motivations of his own. Or the failed older generation that reflects and mirrors the current trio (Nobara is still alive and nothing can take this delusion away from me) who are not just copypaste with a minor twist to them. Gojo isn't just the strongest character who our protagonist will have to eventually overcome and the world doesn't revolve around Yuuji, like literally 7 other characters could have been the main characters as well. Even with the KennyMommy twist we got nothing but a crushing irony that Yuuji was made to be expendable instead of being the most special character out of them all. (Even if there is more to the story -which is very likely, but who knows because it's Gege- and he was in fact more special than that, it still works because next to someone like Maki or Yuta, it's like nothing lmao)

I also love the grading system and how realistict it is, the special grade curses/sorcerers are treated more as monsters than the goal the characters should work towards, I never once felt that grade 1 sorcerers were ever disregarded or degraded to constantly up the power scale. Grade, technique, curse level or even domain expansion isn't the ends of all means, every fight is unique and fresh, unlike in some other shounens were the fights start to feel like dick measuring after a time.

Also also our main character isn't the moral epitome of the whole world with writer's clairvoyance, who knows everything better than everyone else. No, he isn't always right and his approach isn't always the right one or the only right one, something that was showcased with both Megumi, Junpei or even Mahito. When he faced the awakened Junpei, he didn't want to accept his actions and preeched without knowing anything, it is only when Yuuji tried to understand Junpei is when he made a big push through, which was handled greatly in my opinion. It's understandable that Yuuji rejected him at first and I don't neccessarily see it as a flaw, but him trying to connect to Junpei is what made him a great protagonist in my opinion. Everything is chaotic and gray in JJK, there is no clear right and wrong, there is only your side and their side, or more accurately you vs them. There are no one-dimensional bad guys who suddenly turn one-dimensional good guys once they are defeated (which I'm so thankful for, my god). Curses, for fuck's sake this universe has curses which could have been the faceless unthinking monsters the heroes could massacre en masse without ANY moral implications, then Gege went ahead and said Lmao, Lol even, here, kill these innocent civilians made by a sentient curse that's the manifestation of humankind's fear and hatred for our own kind while you are there and then things just went further downhill after that. (I just want to say, when Nanami and Yuuji defeated those curses without knowing their true nature, I really cried seeing those poor people suffer, I can't wait to see the Shibuya arc being finally animated. Maybe this time Nanami and Nobara won't die if I am delusional enough).

Sorry for rambling, I may not have worded things exactly the way I wanted them but writing in English is not my greatest expertise. Also idk if someone has already made this point or not, I try to avoid the JJK fandom as much as possible because 90% of it is just SatoSugu or Character x Y/N and I'm not interested in either of those (no hate towards the fans tho)

HOLA anon! Ehem...

So... when your ask came through I was getting ready to go Cancun+ing, but I promise that even while my skin scorched under the sun (I am sunburnt af 🥲) I was in deep thought regarding your magnificent ask because.................

HOLY DAMN YES!

Welcome to another JJK-Sunday Confessionals.

I love it! Thanks for sending your #thoughts. I honestly don't even know that I have much more to add to this other than saying that I love how you've captured many of the #things I love about jjk.

Ok, jk, have we met? I vomit words and words I shall vomit under the cut.

Gege takes common shounen tropes and instead of doing the same thing as the writers before him, he takes those tropes seriously instead of just using them as clutches to make things happen

I love this so much and I've been thinking about what it is about how Gege writes that is so refreshing and I think it defo has something to do with how he fleshes out the tropes he uses in detail.

Perhaps he understands that tropes are at their core experiences. And where most mangaka rely on tropes at face value, he re-imagines new ways of expressing the same core concept. i.e. the Kurama vs. Sukuna example you shared.

Honestly, this is one of the reasons I like jjk so much. I simply cannot predict it to a t. There's a lot of media that I simply do not indulge because, as soon as I am able to predict the story because of the tropes used, I get bored.

the failed older generation that reflects and mirrors the current trio

Ok but listen. What if Kenny, Tengen and Sukuna were such a trio? Same trope, take it back, way back. There's something about how Gege is writing about Tengen (especially in relation to Kenny) that is interesting in that there's this sense that fate has been repeating itself for many, many years.

I haven't been able to gather my thoughts on it but... something about it...

the world doesn't revolve around Yuuji, like literally 7 other characters could have been the main characters as well. Even with the KennyMommy twist we got nothing but a crushing irony that Yuuji was made to be expendable instead of being the most special character out of them all.

Just today I was thinking about how Yuji is such a refreshing and unique take on his trope as the mc of a battle shonen. Like Megumi, he is all the #things that define him according to his trope, and yet he does it in a way that is unequivocally Yuji.

As for the other main characters, that's what I love about them. It's like they are all the protagonists of their own lives. There are a few plot devices in the story, but for the most part Gege's character writing is absolutely fantastic.

Also. Crushing irony is abso-fucking-lutely on point lol.

Grade, technique, curse level or even domain expansion isn't the ends of all means, every fight is unique and fresh, unlike in some other shounens were the fights start to feel like dick measuring after a time.

YES. I have to half disagree about how the fights don't feel like dick measuring tho.

There's something very ironic and absurd about Hakari vs. Kashimo and Gojo vs. Sukuna that is 300% dick measuring but in this very Gege-kind-of-egotistical-way 😂. I personally love it tho. No complaints here.

Also also our main character isn't the moral epitome of the whole world with writer's clairvoyance, who knows everything better than everyone else.

Loved this 🥲. All of it!

I can't wait to see the Shibuya arc being finally animated. Maybe this time Nanami and Nobara won't die if I am delusional enough.

oh hey! it's like me thinking Tokyo Babylon's volume 7 will have a different outcome if only I read it enough times. I have not successfully managed to manifest a different ending but shall keep trying lol.

So relatable.

Sorry for rambling, I may not have worded things exactly the way I wanted them but writing in English is not my greatest expertise. Also idk if someone has already made this point or not, I try to avoid the JJK fandom as much as possible because 90% of it is just SatoSugu or Character x Y/N and I'm not interested in either of those (no hate towards the fans tho)

Nah, please ramble away. Thank you for sharing your #thoughts with me.

You are using British English, does that mean you are on the other side of the world (Europe/Asia)? Also I'd say you write quite well in English :) better than many USAmericans actually lol.

Yeah so... about the fandom.

What I'll say is that I have had several negative experiences that have left a very sour taste in my mouth. It's gotten to the point that sometimes people will comment on my content with inoffensive messages and I immediately get defensive because I think they're being mean when they aren't. It actually makes me sad to react like that and it is something I'm working on.

For that reason I've stayed here in my little Tumblr corner for the vast majority of my fandom experience and interacted with others very little because I found some posts and attitudes to be too triggering.

But alas, I've come out of my shell and have met good friends/moots through here as a result. So thank you to my Tumblr moots for helping make my jjk experience better!

I also only recently started interacting more on twitter with others in the fandom. So I have a small circle of mutuals who share the same level of understanding as me but it isn't always easy to find people I vibe with in such a large ocean of loud voices.

It's interesting to note that the most popular content for jjk isn't necessarily the kind of discourse I enjoy. To your point, sometimes I see a a very popular post that is specifically about satosugu and I wonder whether it would be as popular if it wasn't about the ship. So I totally share your feelings about the state of the fandom on all levels.

And while I personally do enjoy "shipping", I also like to explore and understand the characters as individuals. That is not to mention I consider myself to be on camp ship and let ship.

What I've learned is that you have to curate your content experience and I get the feeling you're already on it for yourself.

Anyways anon! Thank you so much for dropping by!

I really enjoyed reading your thoughts on why you love jjk and look forward to hearing about what other #jjk thoughts you might have.

#god I love jujutsu kaisen #ask the mental gymnastics anime girl

[saralayne]

Fierce Protector 🩵 💜

Tim expressing his true feelings after Lucy has a nightmare. He also has a important question for Lucy.

It had been over 3 years since Lucy Chen had endured something that would break any veteran cops. She was a rookie when the unthinkable happened. Rosalyn Dyer had targeted Lucy using her protege Caleb. Having an innocent drink turned into a living nightmare. Kidnapped, beaten and tortured. She had a DOD tattoo embedded into her skin and then left for dead in a barrel. Death was imminent. She was trapped in the middle of nowhere. No one could save her. This was it. Her Wilshire family had not given up. They were moving heaven and earth to find her. The ring leader of this mission was her TO, Tim Bradford. He was desperate to find her, to save her. There were many levels to this. She was his boot. She had become his friend even with his walls but leave it to Lucy to break down those barriers. Lucy was more important than anything he was willing to admit. All Tim knew for sure, He couldn't lose her. True to his word, he found her. Literally breathing life back into her lifeless body.

Presently, Lucy had moved forward. She gone into therapy. Afterwards, she was able to heal from the PTSD from that horrific experience. Life was good. She had shown interest in UC work and was damn good at it too. Still, didn't know which direction she wanted her career to go but she had options. Also, after years Tim and her had taken the long awaited plunge. Finally, both had admitted their true feelings. They went on a amazing first date which lead to a second, a third, a fourth. They had been official for three months. It was a rocky start. Worrying about their careers. At first, they had a secret relationship. Little did they know, they weren't as secretive as they thought. To be fair, everyone at Wilshire including Grey knew these idiots were in love with each other long before Lucy and Tim admitted how they truly felt. Grey, was actually happy they finally allowed themselves to be happy. They filled out paperwork and had a HR interview. While Lucy was on patrol, she would not ride with Tim and report to Grey to avoid nepotism or a conflict of interest. Three months had felt like they had been together for years. They were completely in love with each other. Soulmates and both of them knew they were each other's forever. Lucy, still had her apartment. Although, there had been serious conversations about taking the next step...Moving in together.

Lucy rarely suffered from nightmares anymore. They would happen randomly but not often. This particular night, Lucy was wrapped in Tim's arms. Both fast asleep. Lucy suddenly started screaming.

"NOOO. Leave me alone. You're hurting me. TIM...ME"

By this time she was profusely sweating and rapidly breathing. Tim knew she was having a nightmare. Even though it didn't happen often, this broke his heart. It still devastated him, knowing what she was put through. If only he would of never encouraged her to have a drink with another human. He still suffered from that guilt when she would have these nightmares.

"Lucy. Baby. It's OK. You're OK. I've got you. Your safe in my arms sweetheart"

Lucy bolted forward. She had woken up and came out of her nightmare. Lucy began to sob.

"I'm sorry Tim"

"Baby, you have nothing to be sorry about. NOTHING"

"I don't understand why I still get these nightmares. I have moved past this"

Lucy, listen to me. What you went through was HORRIFIC. You may never fully get rid of these nightmares. But you know what's changed? Well, I will tell you. Whenever this happens, you will never be alone. I will hold you in my arms, just like tonight. From this point forward you will never have to go through anything alone. I want you to be in my arms every night and morning FOR LIFE"

"Tim. Thank You. You're my safe place. I LOVE YOU"

"I LOVE YOU TOO. So much. Lucy, move in with me? I want it to be you, I and Kojo"

Lucy chuckled

"Tim, I think it's just a formality now. Let's be real, Bradford. I have already moved in. I want to wake up next to you every morning for the rest of my life"

"Also, you know Rosalyn was a absolute monster but she was right about one thing...You have and will always be my FIERCE PROTECTOR"

"Baby. I will ALWAYS protect you forever. Even when you don't want me to. ITS WORTH IT. WORTH EVERYTHING, If I get to stare into those gorgeous brown eyes for eternity. Get some sleep, My Love. I will be right here when you wake up"

#fanfic #chenford #tim bradford #lucy chen #hurt/comfort #nightmares #ptsd #protective tim bradford #idiots in love #fluff

[witchqueenvisenya]

I like alicent in the same way I like cersei. they are both evil horrible women who only care about getting what they want and fuck who they maim or kill in the process. I find characters like that compelling. they both have trauma but their trauma twisted them into cruel people. I like characters like that. I dont make excuses for them or pretend theyre poor innocent victims. only slightly unhinged woman i don't like is sansa, I find her quite bland and dull, both in books and the TV show.

let me start out by saying that i have a strong love/hate relationship with cersei, but that its mostly on the love side. the way that i love her is exactly as you said; she does horrible things, is a horrible person in general and doesn't really care for acting otherwise. she knows she has the power, and she is unafraid to wield it, and what the idiots at hbo and (most)alicent stans will never get is that that is very appealing. women hardly get to be unashamedly powerful. the moment they do, they are labelled. (the other day i saw some aemond fan crying about how they didn't include him calling rhaenyra an "old whore" on the show.) many of these antis of powerful female characters are women themselves. their internalised misogyny makes them so threatened that they end up falling into vicious attitudes of hatred for any female character that happens to have agency and who makes mistakes.

while reading cersei, you can find many moments where you sympathize with her, even identify with her, because as someone was saying, she is not a feminist character by any stretch, but her story is definitely one with feminist themes. but at the end of the day, you are not supposed to see her acts and handwave them away because she has trauma. book!alicent herself takes the initiative at almost every turn of the war. she is the foremost voice we hear advocating for the greens. she is also an abhorrent misogynist who abused a child under her care and spread vile rumours about her, and effectively isolated her at a stage in her life where she was very vulnerable, for the sole reason that said child was a girl who would one day be queen, as opposed to her son. because of course her precious andal customs and her faith decree that a woman cannot sit the iron throne. precedent is against rhaenyra, but alicent chooses to go against direct law, the king's word, because she is that bull-headed and ambitious.

show!alicent is made to marry someone she wouldn't have chosen for herself (on the show) and she suffers a passionless marriage. instead of recognizing that rhaenyra herself is being made to marry, she chooses instead to hate her for the crumbs of sexual freedom she can carve out for herself. she is fixated on the fact that rhaenyra lied to her, disregarding that she did so to save her reputation from her obsessed father who had set spies upon her. this is literally all it takes for alicent to waltz into rhaenyra's wedding with her petty green dress.

it sounds like a fucking high school spat between frenemies. which is exactly what the sansa/alicent brigade thinks asoiaf is. everyone loves sansa the queen bee because she can charm people (spoilers, she cannot), because she can sing and recall the sigils of houses (what an amazing achievement, give the girl a medal), and daenerys the slut must be eliminated because how dare she assert her rights to her throne established by her family like that's practically unthinkable. alicent just happens to be the sansa placeholder in hotd, because as a very blunt green stan said targ antis watch hotd and love the greens because they are obviously as anti targaryen dynasty as you can get and they lead to the downfall of the house eventually. look at them being honest for once. where is your nuance, neutrals?

#anonymous #asks #hotd #cersei lannister #this is a lot of rambling so sorry for that #been having a lot of thoughts #green stans really just expose what ppl have said for years #people stan sansa bc they hate dany/the targs. not bc they like canon sansa herself lol #reactionary bunch of idiots