#i just dont want ppl like him to exist. but they do

[britneyshakespeare]

progress is not linear bitch

#having a bad day about the abusive ex-friend thing. ruminating. #for the first time in like over a week. #might be the worst day ive had since the day i finally told him to fuck right off for the last time #idk man. i gotta be nice to myself #what i suffered from him is literally unthinkable #he's a fucking user and a manipulator and a monster #he lies and lies and lies and lies and lies and it just hurts to think there are ppl who really live their lives like that #like i almost cannot believe it except for that i endured it #and there ARE other ppl who endured the EXACT same thing #and there's no hope for him. he'll never change #that's depressing to think about even if im free #i guess i gotta focus on the 'im free' part but im still hurt #i just dont want ppl like him to exist. but they do #and im still ruminating and tripping and doubting myself and feeling anxious and withdrawn and and and #tales from diana #seriously he can go to hell

[weirdmageddon]

sorry for liking davejade in 2023 btw its in a cool way though

#hs #davejade #like that one person said bi4bi cool silly girl and her lame ass court jester bf who enjoy each others company a lot #“its boring” well not everything has to be conflict sometimes it can be two people really vibing #and being good foils to each other and just sort of being like a lock and key #i dont dislike davekat but i felt like they bickered too much which is Funny dont get me wrong #but i like davejade for different reasons #in that i feel like dave is at his most heartfelt with her #bc jade doesnt do anything to warrant snarkiness. she doesnt make him uncomfortable and that earns his trust like a lot #ppl say its boring cause its a mf ship and they dont get them like i do #and my answer to that as an agender person is who the fuck cares #i hate ppl dismissing mf ships out of hand like…hey bi ppl exist. and even if they were straight they still got a good dynamic #of care and interest towards each other #hes not her knight in shining armor bffr. she has uhhh fucking GUN #they are Equals #jade slaps the shit outta people on more than one occasion lol #they infodump to EACH OTHER and they both listen #remember when jade wanted to infodump to john about physics remember that #dave would eat that up like oh damn that so dope and tie it back to time or whatever. special relativity #since space and time are fundamentally related #sorry im running on fumes rn i didnt sleep last night #ALSO THEY HAVE MATCHING ALCHEMIZED OUTFITS #jade’s dead shuffle dress and dave’s four aces suited both use a midnight crew poster as ingredients #i should draw them together in that mspa style #maybe theyre not even romantic. who said ships had to be. its short for relationship #well theres multiple kinds of relationships. what if they were queerplatonic

[samdyke]

filled out @jesus-allegory-bingo for sam do we agree with this chart or do we need revisions (version 2)

#i can explain all of them if need be. but i think you get it. #also sorry to that blog if you dont want ppl to use it i thought it was really funny #kora.txt #followers await the return not quite real. waited for his coming not really return. didnt SPAWN a religion but his existence was the basis #of one it was just like not by anything he did. he was just a major part of it. do we give it to him anyways. thoughts.

[caruliaa]

just bc im a lesbian doesnt mean tht i wont at times become deeply entranced with the beauty of male actor or character. it just means i wld rather be locked in a room with a man with a knife than do anything romantic or sexual with one

#NO OFFENCE TO MEN AS PEOPLE THAT EXIST. but also i shldnt have to say tht after saying this yk #also b4 u say ooh ur aro tho why do u need to specifcy u wldnt do anything romantic w a man when i wldnt with a woman either #i am actually pretty romance favorable. like i would be in a romantic relationship with a woman if it wldnt ruin my life #with how it is rn . i think i like and want all the parts tht make up a romantic relationship i just dont experince romantic attraction #but anyway i was here to talk abt my sexuality not my romantic orientation #this post was originally like 'im remembering why there was such a huge overlap with my og major starkid hyperfixation #and me identifing as bisexual' but the thing is is the main main guy from starkid i remember being attracted too #was infact . rob. and thats aged badly bc of it being revealed that hes a fucking creep since then #but also just now not that we should ignore tht but regardless of that i just. dont see it at all #maybe it is that news subconsiously turning me off him but i really dont see that much what i liked abt his appearance #but who rly inspired this post to me is infact . jeff blim ? which is suprising just from the fact tht i dont ever remember #having tht big of a crush on him with that og starkid hyperfixation. but well he is a very beautiful man . giggling a little bit. sorry . #also becoming a bit obsessed with joey richter but thts just standard lesbian obssesion with a weird little man #not attractive to me im just obssesed with him. hi #also posting this now so when i finally watch the fnaf movie i can rb it abt josh hutcherson #anyway. does anyone read these tags do these long rants i go on like. turn ppl off of my posts. sometimes i wonder #flappy rambles

[clippy]

.......is anyone else noticing a huge uptick in anti-transmasc bigotry lately or is it just me 🧍

#i think republicans learned that trans men exist like two days ago and that's what causing it #because holy moly. the fearmongering about T is rampant rn #and it's coming from cis men!!!!! #ppl are sharing photos of pregnant transmasc ppl and misgendering them and saying their babies will be 'fucked up' #there's more and more focus on our uteruses than ever before #im seeing ppl say 'trans men need to weaponize their masculinity more for the betterment of the lgbt community 🙄' #and normally yeah sure. people listen to men more but now is not the time to like. push for us to do that #LAPD recently beat a trans man and threw him into a womens jail #ive seen more and more stories of transmasc ppl getting beat and assualted and killed lately #like... i dont want to get into trans in-fighting over stuff so this isnt rebloggable #but like. it's not just me right? like there is. Genuinely. more of this lately right?

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

ok fine im a bit pissy

I did not spend HOURS of EVERY DAY this week, most often WELL AFTER MIDNIGHT

doing things for certain types of encampment that I CANT TALK ABT ON SOCIAL MEDIA ON RISK OF SELF-INCRIMINATION

to be palestine-guilted over MEMEING ABOUT MISHA COLLINS

I did not WORK MYSELF TO EXHAUSTION

face *REDACTED* and *REDACTED*

to be told that my HAPPY LITTLE FANDOM POSTING on a site with NO FINANICAL OR ALGORITHMIC SIGNIFICANCE TO CELEBRITIES somehow undoes alllll of that.

is this a good post? no. does it apply to a lot of ppl? prolly not. could I lose followers/moots for this? yeah.

but its what I'm feeling rn.

#literally the only reason im not holding the line rn is bc im actively physically ill #gods forbid that when im miserable abt not being able to help. some fantastic tumblr bs occurs to cheer me up #misha collins #misha fucking collins #like i dont even support him! why do ppl think memes = “i support this person and all their beliefs” #also its fucked up that “palestine-guilted” is even a THING. either say shit that contributes to real information spreading/activism/etc #or gtfo the movement. like this is so unserious in the worst possible way #sorry im probably going to get so much hate on this post I'm just. tired. and angry. #i keep saying this but every time you want to make a post shaming ppl on tumblr for supporting a celeb/public figure over this issue.... #ask yourself why you aren't using that time and energy to make change in a way that matters. #yall clearly are angry for the right reasons and have really good hearts. but this aint it. ppl online arent gonna care and these actors+ #dont know you exist and likely never will.

[girlwithfish]

w what ive been thru i want someone to treat me like a princess and also make me feel safe are my expectations that high .

#relatively funny and in the same cultural sphere as me #its awkward if we dont get each others humor or cultural references #Actually i think i need to stop dating ppl i think r funny cuz they all suck Im so fr #I rly need to date a quiet man like someone who can just not yap at me bc all the male yappers think #too highly of themselves im seeing a pattern #Someone who cooks im sick of men who do not cook #IDK! #good music taste or at least willing to be interested in my music a little #A nice person. who puts in effort #i dont think men like that exist anymore maybe i need to be more picky and hard to get etc #but im a lover girlll i dont like doing that #but more boundaries and dont make it as easy for them to get comfortable w me like u need to court me idgaf #impress me #Literally guy im kind of dating might break up w might resolve it who knows said he feels like he hasnt impressed me enough for me to love #him a few weeks ago when he was convinced he wanted to say ily to me already #Like ur telling on urself what? idk #i also dont like ppl who say hypotheticals or like theyre gonna do something and dont

[redstrewn]

Part of me is team "leander is like that to everyone" bc he also plans to recruit MC into his Bloodhounds in the future ("not yet"). Despite knowing the Bloodhounds for years he isn't close to them. Makes me think he ups the charm and seduction to anyone who may be of use to him to get them to pledge their allegiance.

#his jealousy could be because he wants this power to be something he owns and not be taken away by anyone else #the emotional exclusivity (from touch) is a bonus to his egotistical nature #but idk...who knows..... #it just doesnt make sense for me that he instantly holds genuine affection just because of touch. because what about all #the other people he knows aside from the other LIs who have left him? why would MC be special other than what their power could #do for him and how their touch boosts his ego? #love at first sight doesnt exist in a world like this. but maybe obsession is. #redstrewn leandering #youre telling me not ONE person has been tender with him in all these years? while he acts like THAT??? #i dont believe it #“love will never end” in the audio files is the only thing that is standing in the way of this theory of mine. but maybe it's one-sided. #if this is too upsetting feel free to ignore me im just projecting my emotional defense pessimism onto this character #it simply makes no sense to me that being the one exclusively touched is what makes him genuinely in love #it simply makes no sense to me that this is the first time hes been treated tenderly #i have met too many ppl like him #they make u feel sooo special and then SIKE it never rly mattered who u are. just what u could do for them #the difference is hes hot and big and buff and has no regard for the laws of his universe and will inevitably eat shit #ofc im hooked. i wanna see him eat shit. also kiss him #ofc this is a ROMANCE game and hes still a love interest. but i think his true romantic feelings might come later

[toytulini]

blacklisted the jo/ker bc i cannot be normal about the joke/r. opens posts blacklisted for containing the jo/ker. close post without interacting bc i cannot be normal about the j/oker and i have to quarantinemy unhingedness which will not happen if i let myself interact with the post. i dont know what i expected

#toy txt post #quarantining my opinions on the character cos i hate him so fucking much but i could write him better but no its not worth it #id rather unexist his ass. holding myself back so i dont start unhinged fights w ppl making silly posts on the internet #with other characters that inspire similar feelings i can turn it funny but something about him is so fucking rage inducing #not even just like oh wah hes a nasty villain who does bad problematic stuff! im not talking about that im talking about #his characterization his physical design his E X I S T E N C E makes me so irrationally angry its so fucking. stupid lmao #there are few iterations ive seen of him that do not incite immediate rage response at him Existing as a Character lmao #very #few #and even those. are on thin fucking ice #i do not want the character to exist. this is such a stupid feud why am i like this. why does he exist. die #anyway. this post brought to you by. i opened a jo/ker post again #sorry if the dashes make this unreadable i dont want this going into his character tags. wah

[snekdood]

Vaush almost seems manipulative in the way he talks about religion, like i feel very strongly that he doesn't actually think religion is *quite* as bad as something like toxic masculinity but he wants his audience to feel that way, so he keeps drawing comparisons between religion and all these other fucked up things like antisemities or whatever, to give the impression to his audience that he genuinely thinks its that serious, and knowing how a lot of ppl can be in his audience, whatever vaush thinks they decide to take as like the best most intellectually and well thought out take ever, no self analyzing, no questions asked, and i feel like hes manipulating that fact to his advantage, he literally said in his debate w oceankeltoi (which i wasnt gonna watch but did eventually bc i heard vaush kinda sucked in it (and he did)) that hes okay with using peer pressure to try to discourage people from being religious. It seems like hes going to try whatever he can socially to like. Shun anyone whos religious or any of their beliefs and is probably even totally okay with ppl bullying religious ppl so long as the social pressure gets people to stop. Which. Uh. I feel like i shouldnt have to say is a pretty fucked up philosophy

#you are already putting too much work to control ppl just existing #social. political. systemic. wherever you're putting this energy to control it will only end badly. #anyways this whole stuff kinda made me look at him in an entirely different light. #i think hes become too convinced hes always right and has got really into his ass. idk if hes changed since that debate tho bc #i stopped watching him for a while even before it #the problem w that debate is that vaush is doing the thing where hes actually debating the beliefs of certain audience members #whereas ocean is actually just trying to debate him specifically w/o changing the audiences mind quite as much #oceans here trying to understand vaush and vaush is just here to try to make ocean look stupid. not actually understand or come to a #mutual understanding or literally anything. idk. but its pretty frustrating how he devolved to JUST doing that in debates. #hes decided religious ppl are evil or whatever and thus refuses to meet ocean on an equal and respectful level. theres so much lack #of respect here. #i also sorta feel like vaushs 'what about those ppl who think their gods are always in the right' thing was bc perhaps one of his audience #members decided to screenshot one of my posts where i said 'ppl need to accept that their gods arent inherently good' but accidently #typed are instead of arent and idk. maybe its a reach to decide thats why he brought that up but yknow. i do sometimes feel like yall #(hi vaushs community whos probably stalking me online bc i used to be in the community and you think im cringe bc i love #my main boy shiv) #well. ig obviously i feel like some of yall stalk me to poke fun at me and prolly posted that in his discord or smthn #idk but. its gotta stop if its happening bc im literally just some guy #I WANT TO MAKE CLEAR THAT I DONT THINK VAUSH IS ABUSIVE BC IDK HIM LIKE THAT AND CANT MAKE THAT CLAIM #just bc someones being manipulative does not make them ABUSIVE which is a whole different and bigger step towards Bad

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

#'wUtS sO wrOnG aBouT tRyInG tO gEt HawAiIaNs oFf tHe StReeTs--' #'im HaWaIiAn tOo n tHiS iS wHy wE cAnT gEt aHeaD--' #girl just say youre one of the extremely few hawaiians who grew up on those islands&had the privilege not to spend any time homeless #&shut the fuck up LMAO. #there is no 'pOliTiCs' to be on the right or wrong side of LMAO we do not need an outsider haole who owns land while the bulk of OUR ppl #left on the islands is fucking homeless&we sure as shit dont need him or any of his ppl telling us how they plan on assauging that fact #WITHOUT giving up their land or their power lmao like shut the FUCK up. #tell me w/o telling me that you dont know anything about the state of homelssness in the islands lmao. #he wants to set up tiny home camps to model after the one thats been up in kakaako for years like kakaako isnt STILL home to the largest #homeless camp on oahu or like ppl who are homeless&housing insecure-- ACROSS THE NATION not just in hawaii-- havent been talking for YEARS #about why these mini camps meant to mirror homelss shelters but w/ individual rooms to give the illusion of privacy #while 'advocates&volunteers' demand ID&talk down to you&refuse to let you bring in your own items or exist according to your own schedule. #tell me w/o telling me youve never dealt w/ actual land development issues in your life lmao even w/ these terrible plans #what PLANET do the protected historic lands need to lose protection so the state can work w/ PRIVATE LAND OWNERSHIP to build these places? #'i Am HaWaIiAn--' girl shut the fuck up why should that matter to me if youre sucking haole cock&telling us were all failing #bc we wont do the same LMAO. #hope sacrificing your integrity&connection to us is worth it white supremacy will have a ball using you until you act up.

[taelsungtaro]

im begging SM to find it within the halls of the universe to employ 2+ new japanese vocalists for nct tokyo alongside very nice young men sungtarookies. pls let this be wayv part 2 where there are bonus members we dont know yet and do not move more of the kids over from existing units. im begging, seriously, please. unless ur full sending yuta like winwin, i dont want it. no more kids w 2 full jobs, i dont want any other existing member if its not yuta and its not a full transfer. ik they are gonna be a performance unit, most of nct can be considered that, and i love a good dancer, but jesus christ pls we need singers cause seunghan alone is gonna struggle and i will struggle to listen and who else there b/w them is gonna do it?? sungchan?? no girl, hes a rapper.

#i hate being negative but BLEASE EMPLOY MORE JAPANESE PPL FOR NCTS JAPANESE UNIT SHOUSHOU CANNOT DO EVERYTHING #sweet angel boy sungchan is trying his best but lbr he cant speak japanese yet or understand it and we can fully ten him #but i cannot watch sweet boys eunseok and seunghan struggle like that too with only 2 guys to help out #like at least when luyangten were learning they had any amount of basis to jump of from and multiple ppl to help settle in with #yuuheitarou are so cool but if u will not move yuuta over then by god pls hire 2 or more jpn kids #i will say it again i do Not want any other existing and settled members for this unit they dont need that #but fr we dont need wayv pt 2 in the sense that they have no proper vocal line. pls employ some New vocalists #im sorry for everyone that i live in the assumption that sungtarookies are already guaranteed nct tokyo members #but thats the reality i want so im manifesting with phrasing and confidence and intention #sorry for ranting lmao #u can ignore this i just needed to yell into the void lol

[gommyworm]

:^/

#i look so fucking hot today #and i have nobody to appreciate it #my best friend lives 8 hrs away and constantly leaves me on read #which i understand we both tend to drop off the face of the earth when we arent around each other #my only other friend is a guy like 3 yrs younger than me who i have more of a like ? casual friendship w where we like #complain about the government and check in on each other n stuf #and like hes a very good boy but i cant like Talk to him about my life or show him my very attractive fit bc thatd be weird asf #and the only other person i talk to is my ex lmfaooo and that has its whole set of issues #i really desperately need friends or like a bf or something like i cant sit with myself like this every day or im gonna kms #i should hit up my therapist lmaoo i ghosted her a while ago and gooooood would i love someone to talk to rn lmao #like someone who already knows backstory and like the shit involved in my stupid shitty life #man i made my makeup look so nice so i coukd stop crying all day and now i fucking ruined it lmfao #idk why im so stressed these days i just want to be dead #i genuinely think i need like professional help lol like this is way worse than normal #maybe seasonal depression on top of the regular shit ? idk whats even happening anymore #i think im gonna really try and read a book so today so i can not exist for a bit #man and i got all fancy n shit 😔😔😔😔 this sucks ass #maybe i should get some sort of diary app or soemthing so i dont have to do this on tumbkr lmfao #prpbably less embarassing that way #whatever not like ppl reading this really care plus its interesting to see ppls thots i think #i hope u enjoyed the show :^) #gommywords

[redstrewn]

I wonder if vere doesnt get w anyone bc its just too easy to stop caring about others (im projecting)

Edit: no hes probably too passionate for that. He doesnt wanna get w ppl bc he knows he'll be a slave to love probably.

His fatal flaw is wanting power so love would be a weakness

#lets gooooo selfish monstrosity #redstrewn talks #i can stop caring about things and people SO easily its honestly scary #i was only a little less obsessed w other fandom and characters as i am w touchstarved now. and now? i dont think abt them at all anymore #same w some people. some people i forget exist at all. #my exes? its so scary how once i let go of them i completely let go. like i dont feel anything at all. do i hate them? theres #something to hate w everyone but mostly i just dont CARE #shaking how ppl say the opposite of love is not hate but *indifference.* i am screaming. #vere is a hater thou. maybe he loves TOO much. #tbh maybe vere doesnt get w anyone bc hes scared of being TOO attached #maybe hes scared of being a slave to love bc he will ALWAYS be hungry and NEVER satisfied and he doesnt want to be under #the mercy of something else like that #yeah its probably more of that and not the shit i was projecting onto him lmfao #vere gives me the vibe of someone whos TOO passionate for things #hes fiery like that #hes too passionate he knows not to care abt people or else it will consume him. or something.

[lonelymoongirl]

"i'm probably way smarter than you" boy you completely lack emotional intelligence and have no comprehension of even the most basic psychology so i really doubt that but sure whatever makes you feel better

#i hate when people don't comprehend stuff like disorders mental illness and behavior #and how like i can be aware of a behavior that comes from my disorder and still be unable to do anything about it #and i'm allowed to complain (to MYSELF and not AT other people) about other people behaving the same way i do #yes im avoidant....... i know i am #im still allowed to cry when someone im in love with avoids me #even if i do the same to others #and maybeeee if you didn't ignore 90% of the things i say #or TELL me im stupid #i would wanna talk to you but i dont wanna talk to you #anyway like i know it serves no purpose to get upset about it #he's attached to me (again i have no idea why because like im not even attractive #plus when im like displaying loyal devoted dog thoughts is for him i love because he has earned me being a dog for him 😃) #ok im yapping again i know he doesnt even use his brain because he's just not even thinking rationally #it's just annoying because i wanna exist in peace on tumblr im not even special or interesting leave me alone 😭😭😭😭 #i think im just also irritated that he doesnt seem to understand #that im in love with the man im in love with because he treats me with respect and makes me feel warm and fuzzy and good #and all he does is make me feel stupid bc he doesnt even listen to me or care about what i say plus he calls me dumb #im prettyyyy sure most ppl i talk with have similar thoughts but idc until they tell me about it lol #like have whatever thoughts you have about me as long as you're nice to me and it's cool #why is he angry that i dont want to be with him when he treats me like trash lol #there's not even any point in wondering i know. he's entitled and angry and it's like he's just mad at his vacuum cleaner for not wanting to #suck up all the dirt 💀 #so ig im answering my own question.. he doesnt see it that we bc he doesnt think of me as a human being #only a vessel to do what he wants and when i dont wanna he gets mad #he can be mad just let me post whatever i want on my blog goddammit 😔

[29121996]

.

#anyway. #i cba to . rehash everything rn so this is gonna b out of context (im almost breaching the nda) #i have to fucking zwrve him again i might just spit in his drink actually . #like . im half splitting bx im hurt .ike half of this is fuelled by an episode of some kind #++ likw i am absolutely reacting over Nothing rn . #but . ive had enough lmao im gonna have to talk to osme9ne #and ask abt working at the other place bc this is . imapcting ky ability to work. like 100% #like AHDJEBDIDHSIDJDSIJD. i had a fucking panic attack + got him kicked iut #bc i couldnt FOCUS . i was hyperventilating . #i cant do this anymore. all od this is awful . #im running out of options idk what to do anymore lolololololol #im not going uptosn this . week either . #im gonna use the $50 i was saving on . another lot of 🌿 instead . #i cant do this . i cant fucking be around him anymors. i cant exist in the same orbit as him . #this is fuckign bullshit its Killing Me. #so i rlly gotta fucking Retreat that feels.so Fucking Pathwtic #that . im in such an emotionally confused Nd heightened stats #that i cant even go n be around ppl i like ha ging oit w . bc theres such a high fucking chance hes gonna b there #like. i know what ur doing. ur not that cruel . not unless u had smrh to prove #or . was trying to get a reaxrion from me. congrats u achieved it. but its not the one u aanted ! #like i could b reading that wrobg. the alternative is . he rlly hates me that much he Wantes to hurt me #deliberatsly. #theres a differencs jn this but i dont wanna talk abt it. #anywat that is Not Coherent but i know what im referring to . #i wanna fucking Hate Him. like if i could just Hate Him. #thatd Be So Much Easier. but No. its not . #like i rlly had to tell my fucking manager #that my ex was here n i was fucking Panucking so much i needed him kicked iut. #i wasnt even Sure how to fucking . likw . saying it was abusive to her uust so i didnt have to L99k at him was so fucked up #its not . Entirely Wrong. vut . i hate referring to it as an abusice relationship bx it doesnt entirely make sense