#that i cant even go n be around ppl i like ha ging oit w . bc theres such a high fucking chance hes gonna b there

[29121996]

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#anyway. #i cba to . rehash everything rn so this is gonna b out of context (im almost breaching the nda) #i have to fucking zwrve him again i might just spit in his drink actually . #like . im half splitting bx im hurt .ike half of this is fuelled by an episode of some kind #++ likw i am absolutely reacting over Nothing rn . #but . ive had enough lmao im gonna have to talk to osme9ne #and ask abt working at the other place bc this is . imapcting ky ability to work. like 100% #like AHDJEBDIDHSIDJDSIJD. i had a fucking panic attack + got him kicked iut #bc i couldnt FOCUS . i was hyperventilating . #i cant do this anymore. all od this is awful . #im running out of options idk what to do anymore lolololololol #im not going uptosn this . week either . #im gonna use the $50 i was saving on . another lot of 🌿 instead . #i cant do this . i cant fucking be around him anymors. i cant exist in the same orbit as him . #this is fuckign bullshit its Killing Me. #so i rlly gotta fucking Retreat that feels.so Fucking Pathwtic #that . im in such an emotionally confused Nd heightened stats #that i cant even go n be around ppl i like ha ging oit w . bc theres such a high fucking chance hes gonna b there #like. i know what ur doing. ur not that cruel . not unless u had smrh to prove #or . was trying to get a reaxrion from me. congrats u achieved it. but its not the one u aanted ! #like i could b reading that wrobg. the alternative is . he rlly hates me that much he Wantes to hurt me #deliberatsly. #theres a differencs jn this but i dont wanna talk abt it. #anywat that is Not Coherent but i know what im referring to . #i wanna fucking Hate Him. like if i could just Hate Him. #thatd Be So Much Easier. but No. its not . #like i rlly had to tell my fucking manager #that my ex was here n i was fucking Panucking so much i needed him kicked iut. #i wasnt even Sure how to fucking . likw . saying it was abusive to her uust so i didnt have to L99k at him was so fucked up #its not . Entirely Wrong. vut . i hate referring to it as an abusice relationship bx it doesnt entirely make sense