#thatd Be So Much Easier. but No. its not .

[milkbreadtoast]

Hey guys random but I wanna share this spinach pasta recipe I improvised the other day bc it's really east and tasty and a nice way to eat my greens... I've eaten it for the last several meals lol

sauce recipe (1 serving)

fresh spinach several(3?) handfuls (blended with sauce)

oat milk ~1/3 c (or a diff unsweetened milk)

small pat of butter(flavor) + 3 spoonfuls olive oil

lots of black pepper + couple shakes garlic powder (or minced garlic)

tiny pat of miso/deonjang (if u dont have it, just add more cheese, or some salt to taste)

Lots of pecorino romano or parmesan cheese (or both)

+

more handfuls spinach to eat w pasta whole, opt (several/3 handfuls; keep in mind spinach shrinks a lot when cooked) (cooked in microwave, with sauce liquid)

more cheese, black pepper, parsley etc for serving

Note: need a blender to make the spinach sauce green. I used a small bullet blender. If you don't have a blender, just cook and eat the spinach pieces whole alongside the pasta instead of blending it w the sauce, like an alfredo cream sauce.

With whole spinach pieces:

>combine sauce ingred in tall, microwave safe bowl except spinach & cheese; microwave 30 sec to melt butter/miso and mix thoroughly

>add several handfuls of spinach to the sauce liquid; this is the whole spinach pieces.

>cover + microwave for 1 min /until the spinach leaves are completely wilted and tender but still green

if u dont have a blender you'd be done here (microwave longer to reduce, add more cheese/oil to make it thicker, etc)

>add 2-3 handfuls fresh spinach into bullet blender and pour in most of the sauce liquid; Blend until fully broken down into a creamy green sauce. (add a splash more milk if it's not blending)

>combine w rest of sauce in the bowl; add cheese and microwave 30+ sec more uncovered (*i add cheese at the end bc it's harder to blend with the spinach)

Without whole spinach pieces (just green sauce): combine all sauce ingred Including spinach into bullet blender; blend until fully combined; transfer to bowl & microwave 1 min + longer as needed to reduce (uncovered)

Pasta:

> boil pasta in salted water according to directions (go a min under and test if its cooked, for al dente pasta)

> drain + return to pot, add the sauce + stir

note: if doing this method u can also make the sauce in the same pot instead of using a microwave; after draining the pasta, leave it in strainer, and make the sauce in the same pot and simmer... turn up the heat to boil + reduce as desired, then add the pasta back in and stir until hot. (If i was making a bigger portion for multiple ppl i'd prob do this)

USING LEFTOVER COOKED PASTA (this is what i did, bc i had made a lot of pasta a few days ago, and had the leftovers stored in fridge):

> microwave pasta by itself in a bowl/plate for 1 min, covered

> add the hot sauce on top of hot pasta (microwave first if it's not hot enough)

(^i microwave sauce + pasta separately to ensure the pasta stays al dente btw... if u microwave sauce with pasta it gets soft)

(If making large batches ahead I'd store the pasta and sauce separately for the same reason... I'd prob do the same thing I did, make a large batch of pasta and then make the sauce right before eating... I just hate soft pasta tho so if u dont then dw abt it🫡 lol)

> Top w extra cheese, black pepper, parsley and serve/eat immediately!!

#food #pasta #spinach #spinach pasta #recipe #my recipe #cooking #easy meals #its rly easy and tasty... and its easier to eat spinach this way lmao #if u dont want to eat the whole spinach pieces blend all the spinach w the sauce #its rly delicious... ive eaten this for the past 3 meals to use up my leftover pasta #and its so good... #if u added basil leaves too thatd basically be pesto... #i dont have basil rn tho #i like this bc it reminds me of that peruvian dish that i rly like... what was it called? #green noodles... #*googles* tallarines verdes... i should try actually making that sometime its prob not much harder #but for now i rly like this recipe and wanted to share... success...

[good-beanswrites]

My lyrics for Double!! I really loved this song and became like a thousand times more impressed by Deco27 and Natsuki Hanae after working with it for so long 😅 I chickened out of recording this one in the apartment but if anyone wants to cover it... lmk.... 👀 I can definitely put something together to help hear how the rhythms work, because I got it all to line up very nicely! (Lyrics under the cut and my little commentary in the tags)

(I’ve got you, leave it to me!)

Welcome home, it's another day, keeping things at bay, you see no change

Not a smile in this mess, you're doing your best, you say (wake up)

"Don't need a break" as you proceed to start breaking, both sleeping and waking makes you bleed

And now, reborn anew -- I'll take in on for you

Not your plan? Who gives a damn, I'm here and here is where I'll stay

It's just the two of us, nothing left to run from. You're safe now, your hero's come.

All I did was dream, is that a crime? Is that enough to name me guilty by?

"He can't be trusted, he lied," you cried. Made me out as the bad guy. But why?

Ah, I'm the one that saved you, don't you see? So tell me why the hell you cry to me!

Let me hear you revel, grateful, cling to me with "savior," "adore" -- oh, sing to me.

Welcome home, it's another day, keeping things at bay, you see no change

Too late, your limits passed. Too late, yourself has cracked (goodnight)

If you persist I'll assist with releasing, keeping your peace is why I exist

And now reborn anew -- I'll take it on for you

(Oh, hello? Mom? It’s been a while. Yeah.. well, I mean, some days are hard but I’m doing alright, don’t worry. How’ve you been? I’ll go home next time I get some time off...)

The reason I'm alive, must be making sure that you survive

"He can't be trusted, he lied," you cried. Made me out as the bad guy. But why?

All I did was dream, did you forget? Go on and forgive me, I'm no threat.

Listen to me confess, honest. Eat your words and I bet, regret

Ah, I just tried to help, tried to be strong. So tell me why the hell it's all gone wrong

Let me hear you revel, grateful, cling to me with "savior," "adore" -- don't sing me this song

Lost my memory

I'm double, it was unavoidable

Living painfully

I'm trying, as hard as possible

Tell me, tell me.

If I wasn't born, maybe this trouble --

Tell me, tell me.

It's all my fault

#milgram #mikoto kayano #lyrics #i feel bad it cut in front of the other milgram songs but it was a lot easier than the others #(not that it was easy by any means but the other ones are giving me even more trouble asdfsdf) #but yeah!!! im so happy with these!!! #i will forever be jealous of the rhyming in the original refrain -- #nante itte/natte nande/datte sugatte/utatte tatte IS SO WONDERFULLY SATISFYING #it makes me crazyyyyyy #i know i dont get half that fun in mine but im still really satisfying with the rhymes/phrasing #wtf is going on in the rest of the song 😭 i came for the incredible refrain and had to deal with all That...... #the 'dont need a break' and 'if you persist' lines gave me so much trouble 😭 he just keeps on going..... #i took a bit of a liberty with the 'sing to me' line because every version of 'thatd be good' sounded so lame 😅 #trying to do some kind of play on sing your sins while its john really wanting to communicate but idk if that worked #an unintended but exciting detail is 'you say' sounding like 'you say wake up' rather than 'you say dont need a break' #since thats right when he wakes john up so to speak #any milgram pals who want to sing -- these are always open to use >:3

[yanderespamton78]

in case its unclear, by keyboard i mean like computery keyboard

#i should add tag navigation to my blog #1 itd be fun 2 itd make like easier and 3 im non stop posting and i post so many diff things #oki i actually have an idea for the poll tag #the neverending questionnaire #< much cooler than it should be but thats ok #ive been trying to think of a name for a while lol #i wanted it to be smth to do with questionnaires cus idk i thought thatd be funny #then since im constantly making polls its the /neverending/ questionnaire #then i have a few ideas for more tags :DD #polls #tumblr polls #random polls #oh yeah btw i do caps lock on and off #i always have because i didnt use to know how a shift key worked lol #but i kinda realised that thats probably not normal based off of seeing others use a keyboard

[steelycunt]

always feel so bad getting my dad such predictable christmas presents but hes so hard to buy for...all he ever wants is books + cds but he knows exactly what he wants if you tried to pick a cd for him that would be disastrous. so he just has a list of even more cds and we get him a few of those but i wish i could pick something for him as a surprise that he would genuinely like : ^ (

#the only other thing my dad genuinely wants is a red rickenbacker bass guitar. unfortunately i do not happen to have a spare £2400 laying #about as i am currently unemployed. if i only i got that christmas temp job at next xx then thatd be sorted innit easy peasy xx #i feel like it always seems that i put much more effort into my mums presents though but its just because shes so much easier #to buy for i can pick surprises for her and stuff : ^ ( i always spend the same amount but hers are more fun to open...although i wish #i could spend a bit more on both of them but i legitimately do not have any money lol. did not get either of the jobs i applied for </3 #(ridi's) bigmouth strikes again

[nihiltism]

can't The Fear at least manifest in cool and fun ways like my shadow appearing longer to show that there is something intangible but all too real looming over me . like that's much cooler than just being on tumblr instead of starting/doing/saying anything that scares me. I'm on tumblr all the time with or without The Fear like cmon dude

#vee shut up #genuinely i think a lot of my issues especially as a kid were that my tigers were too invisible #i desperately Wished i was just being bullied because thatd be so much easier to conceptualize #thered be a distinct Bad Guy and itd be Obvious That I Was Being Hurt By Them #to the point that i think i did convince multiple therapists into thinking i Was being bullied as a kid? #anyway thats unrelated really. i am also unfortunately the princess of psychosomatic bullshit so #even when it does actually show signs its still easy to deny and ignore and assume its something else. cant i just have a cursed eye or smth

[us-ugay]

im like........ tempted 2 attempt lil cheapo commissions for the first time cuz even after being paid im broke as a joke n still gotta do some bills but like first off ive never done commissions before idk how well id do that n second off like sure folks like my lil doodles from time 2 time but i dont know how much thatd translate into actual commissions u feel me so like 🧍‍♀️

#i suppose if worst comes to worst and i post a commissions thing itd just be ignored and id look like a fool #i guess i should get lil examples tho n idk man #i thought maybe offering lil chibis would be the move cuz those are relatively easier for me to power thru but also #not that i care about engagement at the end of the day but those tend 2 get less notes so maybe its not a style folks like as much #so maybe i should offer something bigger? but thatd be more work and i dont wanna charge real money for this #just maybe a space 15-20 bucks u feel #ugh idk

[kn11ves]

hey so after hearing an utterly horrific pronunciation of the word "nahuatl" that scared me straight out of my native skin ("nah-wah-toll", he said) just as a pointer whenever you read a nahuatl word the ending "-tl" is pronounced sort of like a hiss with a tongue touching the roof of your mouth? its not nah-wah-toll, its not even nah-wah like a lot of mexicans believe, the "tl" sound comes from the way you push air through your mouth from the back of your throat

the way i figure how to make the "TL" sound is to put your tongue on the roof of your mouth. now, without removing your tongue from the roof, try making the sound of an "h" with a mouth halfway closed. you should feel the way the air blows through both of your cheeks and comes out sounding like a lisp-sound. thats the point! the hiss definitely sounds like a lisp. you may need to practice this a bunch to get the sound right

there isnt an phonetic equivalent to "tl" i can figure how to write out for you because "tl" is a sound of its own. you have to say na-hua-TL its already written the way its supposed to be read! the only problem is that people do not know how to pronounce the "tl" sound and will make approximations which i know its tough but it is wrong (though ill take nah-wah over NAH-WAH-TOLL)

this is a YT shorts of a man saying "nahuatl" and different nahuatl words and how theyre pronounced

this is a 7 minute video of a man who guides you on HOW to make the noise "tl"

some reminders while im at it:

-we are not aztecs, we do not speak aztec. we are native mexicans (most of us. im not speaking about immigrants to mexico obviously) and most of us who speak an indigenous language speak nahuatl, so we may call ourselves nahua or descendants from the mexica

-though not everyone speaks nahuatl, there are 68 different indigenous ethnic groups in mexico we have. variety.

-certain dialects of nahuatl spoken in michoacan or just southern mexico for example may choose to prefer the "T" in nahuatl words and pronounce say ahuacatl as "A-wah-cat" or maybe prefer the "L" sound and say "A-wah-cal". it really depends

-(pet peeve but) AXOLOTL is "ah-sho-lo-tl" and not "axe-ah-loddel"

-no u are not saying the word in english and therefore are going to pronounce it like a yank

-if you can say rendezvous like "ron-deh-vu" and not like "ren-des-voos" then you can say nuahuatl words the way theyre meant to be said!! our language has gotten so eroded and the only way we can keep it alive is by trying to say things as theyre meant to ok

#nahuatl #..now if duolingo had nahuatl or purepecha to study instead of klingon or valyrian thatd. thatd be dope😔 #anyways i need to get off my ass and learn purepecha thats what i need to do #most of my meger studies have been towarss nahuatl becous its easier to find info but i just sometimes get annoyed at how inconsistent #everything is man i gotta actually go to somewhere where they Speak It. #after a couple of conversations with my family im quite sure we have a strong purépecha line and it realy makes me feel bad in my stomach #that i havent attempted #to learn purépecha as mch as i should have #im aware i probably also have a lot of mexica blood from perhaps my fathers side alrhough im not too sure and well i cant ask but as much #as i can tell his side Has been from tijuana meanwhile my grandmother and my uncles and aunts moved when they were young from their ranch #michoacan to tijuana so i mean. maybe i can see what peoples were in tijuana though that would be just making a lot of assumptions abt my #fathers side where i dont have any information and its not like im going to track him down to check. literally whatever i really need to #check my purépecha roots though someone hit me witha pan #if anuone has any mexican-native wuestions u can ask and ill try to answer to the best of my abiltiies

[violasmirabiles]

... im not officially out as nonbinary to my family but also the closet doors are wide open and my brother follows me on instagram and. hes viewed my ig stories where i talk about being nonbinary, like on multiple occasions, including yesterday when i pretty explicitly said that That Is What I Am, but. hes never said anything about that to me ever and im sure as hell not going to bring it up. and now he and his fiancee came over and the uncertainty is so bad but being the first to bring it up?? the vulnerability?? the AWKWARDNESS?? would be worse.

#its not that i dont think he can be normal about it hes a good guy #and one of his fiancees siblings is trans so i think itd be ok #i just think he doesnt want to bring it up any more than i do because potentially awkward conversation which like. valid. and same #and also just cos. obviously i havent told my parents so makes sense he wouldnt just bring it up in front of them & put me on the spot #but like he hasnt texted me about it either or anything. which. also. we dont really text beyond like 'whats the netflix password' #so it wouldnt really be much easier than talking face to face lol #also my brains making it a Problem that im not binary trans like the aforementioned fiancees sibling #and no way in fuck am i gonna just. text him and ask if thats true. if it isnt ill think im making a scene. if it is... well. thatd be worse #my brains already making everything seem worse than it is when it comes to us #hes doing so well and im like. the (i hope) lovable fuckup

[wyrmalien]

monkeeutuals how would we feel about a discord server

#the monkees #think it would be pretty awesome personally i am very bad talking to people one-on-one but i would love to talk to you all more #& its much easier for me to converse in a group #would also be a cool place to share fanart/videos/meet other fans etc :) #i also think doing streams of the show/head/specials/etc would be so fun and awesome #if you think thatd be hip cool groovy outtasite etc please let me know!!!!! #thanks davy for the idea :3

[tt-squid]

i kinda wanna try make half harley mannor in minecraft but im p sure ill need to update to 1.whaterver the newest one us cause 1.11 just doesnt have that many blocks lol

#also from what ive seen textures have changed so thatd b fun #i still havent really played that much new mc i kinda switched back to 1.11 cause its easier on my laptop lol

[mizugucci]

I refuse to bitch about life anymore!

#theres so much im upset about #but its like. who cares #im gonna do what i want #im the main character of my life #why am i changing my behavior based on others #like really who cares! #and if they do so what? #mtxt #however i still want to avoid giffing #its baddd like ill watch a video and be like #omg thatd be good to gif #i need to break that habit #my brain naturally takes things too far so i #have to make sure i distance myself an appropriate amount #however that should be easier now that im starting #my new job tomorrow ! #i really need to even out my hobbies #and make sure im participating in them in a healthy way #which i was.. definitely not before lol

[silverislander]

forgot to mention but my therapist is literally encouraging me to get adhd testing :') she really did believe me and still does, and i'm not just losing it i (almost definitely) have A Disorder holy fuck

#i still cant afford it so im still not getting diagnosed unfortunately #but it means so fucking much that she took me seriously for that and AGREES #like thank fucking god im not the only one who sees smth wrong here this really ISNT me just being exceptionally lazy and stupid!! #and i was RIGHT i guessed the right condition thats not a huge deal here ofc but its fun to know #levi.txt #like. shes not a specialist but she does work w adhd clients and she said youre right you almost def have it you should get tested #and get accommodations for school or medication if you can(!!!!!!!!!!) #i just bjfdkjhkfhkdf. yes please god thank you #i never even considered accommodations holy shit that would make my life so much easier #id never thought abt it bc ive always gotten good grades anyways. my anxiety/rsd outweigh the executive dysfunction #but jesus it would help me so much to just have a bit of grace on deadlines or smth thatd be a dream

[waywardsalt]

For the fanfiction asks

1, 2, 12, 21, 23, 27, 51, 72, 73, 78,

Thanks for the asks! This ended up being long, so I put it under a read more.

1: I do a whole lot of daydreaming, and I don't usually put anything to paper unless I get really inspired, or until things are concrete enough in my mind. Not to mention, I don't always have access to the way that I write, so daydreaming is my main way of keeping things in mind before writing.

2: Honestly, a good majority of the ways that I come up with Zelda fics is the thought process of 'haha it would be fun to put linebeck in this situation', for the recent oneshots, it's more wanting to practice and expand on how I write him and other certain things. I have a few crossover aus in mind, and those are usually a mixture of 'I really like this piece of media' and the usual 'haha linebeck in fun situations'. Honestly, linebeck is the main driving force for my Zelda ideas. But for non-Zelda ideas, I usually need room for creating my own story within a set story; for example, the Warrior Cats world has plenty of room for me to create my own characters and stories. But overall it's the loose string of 'hey this would be cool' that very quickly becomes it's own thing.

12: Most of my older stuff was just planned straight out of my mind, but recently, I've been planning out future projects in ways that fit said projects (a calendar for post-ph, an excel document for a convoluted fic, and simple footnotes for a shorter five-chapter fic). Oneshots and less complicated ideas usually just stay in my mind. More emotionally-driven or abstract ideas will also just stay in my mind (vent fics, a horror idea I'm considering). I'm not strict about planning, but it keeps things coherent. Detail also varies; for example, the fic outlined with excel requires more detail than post-ph. I tend to stray in small details, but try to stick to the big story beats.

21: Overall, I'll say multi-chapter. I get more time and space to linger on worlds and ideas and characters, and I can practice with longer character arcs and writing tools and stuff, and my more wild ideas are easier to pull off when they're longer.

23: Writing beginnings of anything is hell for me. Endings are similarly difficult, but it's a lot harder to smoothly get into something rather than transition out. The middle is easiest; things are already flowing, and while it can get hard, I don't have to worry about big introductions or setting the scene.

27: Dialogue. I've gotten compliments on my dialogue, and I'm very particular about dialogue in bother things I write and things I watch or read; it's very easy to pick out 'bad' or unnatural dialogue. I don't have trouble making dialogue between characters seem natural, but exposition is tricky.

51: A bit. When I write, I'll try most any genre since I consider it a test of my abilities, if I can handle writing within that specific genre. I usually reread old books and stick within fantasy or related genres, so there is a fair bit of disconnect between what I read and write. Even with in the sphere of fanfiction; I write a lot of Phantom Hourglass fanfiction, but I don't actually do a whole lot of reading when it comes to new stuff.

72: I don't really think I have a specific compliment that's my favorite... I'll take any compliment, really, but I guess it's just nice to see if people like my stuff or not.

73: I'm not sure about this one, mainly since I didn't get many varied readers before joining Tumblr, and even now it's still limited... But I think even outside of fanfiction, I get the most compliments on my literal writing? Not story or character of dialogue, just... stuff being well-written, like well-phrased or something. Specifically in fanfiction, though, I think I've gotten the most compliments about my portrayals of characters, mainly in my recently ph oneshots.

78: It's half wanting to see my ideas fully-fledged and to write about my favorite characters, and half hoping that people like what I write; since I started writing fanfiction, there's always been the desire to write for a fandom that doesn't get a lot of fanfiction, so part of my motivation is hoping that there might be someone who's been looking for something that I write. It's definitely a 'if you want something done right, do it yourself' kind of deal, since ph fanfiction is generally rare, and I decided to quit waiting and start writing for myself and whoever else wants it. And, yeah, the feeling of solidifying my ideas. It's just fun to write, even if it gets rough.

#asks #zeldanamikaze #salty talks #sorry this took a while i had some trouble with the ones about compliments #its cool and all to provide for a smaller fandom with less stuff #but the lack of interaction kinda sucks sometimes? esp since i joined tumblr specifically to make it easier for ppl here to find my stuff #and yeah tbh? i read ph fanfiction and stuff but ive become wary of new ph or linebeck stuff #im really specific/sensitive abt ph and linebeck so its not hard to stuff to rub me the wrong way tbh #thanks for the asks! it was fun to reflect on my writing and how i go about doing it #and yeah dialogue. im not great socially so im nervous about how i talk and stuff so i think im just more likely to notice when its weird #also. about how i get compliments on my writing in general. #best way i can explain it is that when writing essays i sometimes lose sight of the prompt or whatever but the writing itself stays solid #like i think ive gotten that sophistication point thing before. but i can also be robotic if im aware there's a 'right' way to write smth #im rambling too much thanks for the asks and i hope youve been doing well #i might be repeating myself on this???? but if you wanna just shoot asks just to discuss or ask abt anything thats cool #ive been rbing ask game things since i get limited interaction but i just want ppl to know that i wouldnt mind ppl sending asks abt media? #like if you wanna discuss a game or some writing or whatever. thatd be fine

[kiisuuumii]

they should invent feelings that dont get in the way

#★ #like thatd make my life so much easier #in other news ive always had a rlly shitty tan where my legs were so much paler than my arms #just got out of the pool and im noticing that its getting more even ! :0

[arolesbianism]

If I ever do get properly into dst character modding I like have to make an oni character mod at some point, but the issue is Id want it to be an Olivia mod so bad but also Nails is as far as I'm aware the only legal character name wise and as such it feels like it has to be them, y'know for the bit. But also I have already written too much Olivia dst dialogue and I need an excuse to use it damnit

#rat rambles #oni posting #starve posting #also good ol dr winslow would be dead in seconds I think #not that most of the cast would fare much better but I believe in olivia to last longer #more importantly though it would simply be easier to justify olivia kit wise as while nails was involved in printing pod stuff they didnt #yknow. invent the damn thing. #idk we technically dont have olivia initials yet she Could have a w middle name if we believe hard enough #we have a jackie middle initial tho so shes off the table doubly because she also would have like 50 in each stat lol #also again olivia constant dialogue is just so much more fun to write #especially when it comes to mob examination quotes #also several jokes and bits that I could technically do with nails too but olivia is easier to craft a consistent voice for #as much as we get a surprisingly large amount of characterization for nails they still only have one log of dialogue at the end of the day #like I have hcs and stuff but they are fragile as hell #klei could come out swinging and recontectualize everything theyve ever said at any time if they wanted to it wouldnt be hard #again its one log with little context to most of the things they say #so while we have a glimpse of their character we don't rly see them in enough contexts to rly get a solid general characterisation I think #not that I want more per say my point is simply that any hcs I do have could easily be disproven by not a lot of new information #like itd be very easy for them all to crumble into dust the second klei adds more logs #technically many of my olivia hcs are equally fragile but those are mostly the ones that dont matter much in this context #like idk they could be like fun fact olivia actually loves kids and gets along great with them but I doubt thatll happen #oh that reminds me scariest thing abt oni actually is the idea that some of our lil scientist guys could have kids #like the email abt there not being a bring your kids to work day doesnt inherently mean any of the characters we know have kids but it #makes me remember the possibility and that scares me #like I dont wanna think abt devon potentially having a kid I dont wanna imagine them putting pictures of their baby with toast online #I mean I do but its still like wtf why do you have a life that existed thats scary and it also makes me sad but its also funny so its good #I still stand by my frankie and mason divorce hc frankie got custody of the baby devon got custody of the food blog #its a good think jackie and olivia dont have a kid thatd suck for the kid so bad #like imagine your moms being the worlds saddest wettest cats of women and just having to grow up with that #and theyd be terrible parents for sure jackie would be an absent father and olivia would become an alcoholic

[29121996]

.

#anyway. #i cba to . rehash everything rn so this is gonna b out of context (im almost breaching the nda) #i have to fucking zwrve him again i might just spit in his drink actually . #like . im half splitting bx im hurt .ike half of this is fuelled by an episode of some kind #++ likw i am absolutely reacting over Nothing rn . #but . ive had enough lmao im gonna have to talk to osme9ne #and ask abt working at the other place bc this is . imapcting ky ability to work. like 100% #like AHDJEBDIDHSIDJDSIJD. i had a fucking panic attack + got him kicked iut #bc i couldnt FOCUS . i was hyperventilating . #i cant do this anymore. all od this is awful . #im running out of options idk what to do anymore lolololololol #im not going uptosn this . week either . #im gonna use the $50 i was saving on . another lot of 🌿 instead . #i cant do this . i cant fucking be around him anymors. i cant exist in the same orbit as him . #this is fuckign bullshit its Killing Me. #so i rlly gotta fucking Retreat that feels.so Fucking Pathwtic #that . im in such an emotionally confused Nd heightened stats #that i cant even go n be around ppl i like ha ging oit w . bc theres such a high fucking chance hes gonna b there #like. i know what ur doing. ur not that cruel . not unless u had smrh to prove #or . was trying to get a reaxrion from me. congrats u achieved it. but its not the one u aanted ! #like i could b reading that wrobg. the alternative is . he rlly hates me that much he Wantes to hurt me #deliberatsly. #theres a differencs jn this but i dont wanna talk abt it. #anywat that is Not Coherent but i know what im referring to . #i wanna fucking Hate Him. like if i could just Hate Him. #thatd Be So Much Easier. but No. its not . #like i rlly had to tell my fucking manager #that my ex was here n i was fucking Panucking so much i needed him kicked iut. #i wasnt even Sure how to fucking . likw . saying it was abusive to her uust so i didnt have to L99k at him was so fucked up #its not . Entirely Wrong. vut . i hate referring to it as an abusice relationship bx it doesnt entirely make sense