#idk why im so stressed these days i just want to be dead | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

artsyannierose · 7 months

Text

Nene’s Dead Corpse and her ghost bf

randomly made a crap ton more sense to me

why?

fricking school (screw school I hate you (no not rly I’m just stressed))

Anyway I’m a biomed class where unit 1 is studying medical investigations forensic science style

and one of the things is like, what happens to a person after the body has been dead for a while (post mortem or sum, see im learning :D)

Things like algor mortis, livor mortis, I’ve heard of. In fact I’ve even studied the clouding of the corneas before, but it never got to me till today

maybe it’s cause I cannot for the life of me study forensics without my wild imagination giving me nightmares or just panicking when I’m alone but aNyWays

I tend to imagine characters associated with death in these scenarios so I don’t lose it in class💀

*cough* Nene *cough cough*

So as I was taking notes on the slideshow, some of the images of clouded corneas reminded me strangely of something familiar, but at that point I couldn’t tell. There’s something haunting about the eyes (or maybe it’s just my over-analytical brain loving small details like this) they’re GORGEOUS

IDK THEYRE PRETTY

Maybe it’s ‘cause the true color of the iris is completely visible in all its glory, without the pupil obscuring it

(something like this?? A little vivid tho lol)

but like

there’s no

life

no reflection, no emotion…nothing (which is so hauntingly beautiful leave me alone I’m a sucker for this now)

it’s literally just an eye with nothing but color

and then it hit me…it’s exactly the look Nene had when Mirai fast-forwarded her time

you can see in the image it’s just her plain magenta eyes with a fuzzy de-saturated blob in the center…aka clouded corneas

And that honestly made me realize that in this scene she’s not—she’s not even unconscious

No she’s literally, physiologically dead

THAT IS A CORPSE HE IS HOLDING

she is literally a dead body this hits me so hard😭😭

and I can imagine algor mortis kicked in by then, her body was probably cold to the touch

so imagine how he felt, and I’m aware people have analyzed his emotions but just think about it

he’s always seen her so full of life and hope, and now all he has left is an empty shell of her, cold and dead with no life left inside

…just like him

the more I think about it Hanako is just an animated corpse

he has no reflection in his eyes most of the time because he is ✨dead✨

I mean Mei, Mitsuba, and Hanako don’t have a little white reflection dot like Nene and Kou

Or maybe I’m overthinking it and Nene’s eyes are just super reflective

even for someone who presumably took his own life, he probably never saw tsukasa’s body start postmortem and actually feel dead bc it looked extremely bloody ngl (I’m guessing he killed himself right after 💔)

and now he’s holding someone he cares about like this for the first time and I’ll bet that scarred him

and he figured out that never, never ever did he ever want to see his sweet assistant like this again, lifeless in his arms

and so after that, cue Hanako in his villain era who basically became a yandere the entire picture perfect lmao

and he was unbelievably adamant about it too

I mean honestly if I held anybody I knew lifeless like that I’d be scarred for life and crying for days

seeing the light drained from someone’s eyes is so interestingly sad to me

Look at the difference:

Happy

vs Sad/Determined

vs Depressed (ig??)

vs Dead

She still has so much emotion in her eyes

and then d e a d

literally looks like a porcelain doll

wait she looks so pale in the last image compared to the others now that I think about it

I love aidairo’s eye for detail it’s so fun to figure out

Well anyways thanks for coming to my Ted Talk essay atp-

IT’S PAST 1 AM AND I SHOULD BE STUDYING FOR SAID BIOMED CLASS AND HERE I AN GOING ON A TANGENT ABOUT A FICTIONAL CHARACTER’S EYES

send help

anyways excuse me while I grab a box of strawberries to munch on and cry my eyes out all over my homework before I sleep-

#hananene #tbhk #jshk #hanako kun #toilet bound hanako-kun #yashiro nene #tbhk manga spoilers #aidairo #my ramblings #my rambles #i literally have to wake up in 3 hours what am I doing #Yknow screw school Hananene is more important #i love angst #they’re so bittersweet #and beautiful

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kurosstuff · 1 month

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🍯 how about prompt 5, but fem!reader is using a strap on Lute

Hope you like this~ I decided to do an idea I was thinking of for this prompt and the final smut one next

Warning(s): mating season, demon x angel, something with a tail and horns idk?, wings stuff, enemies to lovers? Execution day♡ breeding talk, hate sex(?), talks of wanting to claim(make mate), accidental courting moves

Also I don't know how to write fights still-

Lute x F!demon! Reader

Execution day suck.

Of course it does- being hunted for sport or- whatever you weren't actually sure why those angels those 'oh high and mighty!' Angels came down to do such a cruel thing.

Odd thing to think. Never once would you have thought angels would be cruel. Would do such a cruel thing, much less do it inhumanely as well( it doesn't matter that technically you weren't a human anymore) you were still one once. Growling panting face flushed as you can into an alley way- not only was it mating season for the kind of demon you were. But execution day as well? Oh, how it was cruel.

"Fuck"

A dead end.

A fucking dead end.

Hearing a familiar laugh- a flap of wings as something landed behind you. Taking a deep breath glancing behind you. Paling at the sight. Of all fucking demons you could have seen. Could have ran into. You had to run into the cruelest bitchest one?

"Hello sinner"

She snarled that threatening(hot) voice as she stormed up to you, her sword bloodied along with herself from other demons, making you swallow thickly. Your tail tucked "i- hey~.. how are you.. girl?" You awkwardly spoke backing up, cursing the fact you weren't given wings. The urge to submit to her from the season strong.

"Just be good and just fucking-" swinging her sword at you as you dodged, whining our yelling "DIE- FUCKING-" yanking you by your horns, to the wall behind you as you swallowed a moan from the touch wincing before ducking

"Stop it!" Taking the move dor the sword stuck to push her against the wall accidentally bending her over bucking into her to get her to stop moving."Stop it, I said damn it! I don't wanna fucking fight!" Accidentally rocking into her making you pant as she snarled

Grinding against her on instinct, the toy you wore(for some stupid ass bet angel made you agree to) the angel snarled, pulling your tail, making you whine as she froze above her "wha- fuck is this turning you on you sinner?" She snarled out, glaring at you through her mask- clearly sneering at you as you humped her slowly tearfully in shame. A deep sigh escaped her as she pushed you back, easily getting up and watching you closely, turning around to look for what? You weren't sure.

Before right in front of you taking her clothes off "listen sinner. Im- I'm bored, and i can tell we both need this, no? Need the stress release?" She growled out glaring, taking the mask off, revealing her face to you. Making you flush- the asshole of an angel was HOT

"Y-yeah! I- its.. ifs mating season.. so- some demons are very.. needy" you gasped out as she came close, easily helping yoh out of your clothes smirking at the toy strapped to your waist- humming she grabbing your chin watching you closely before nodding

"Guess you'll do for now"

Shoving you onto the ground straddling you "be good~ and maybe I won't kill you~", purring out slowly, moving to take the toy in fully moaning heavily grabbing ahold of your shoulders bouncing against you wings fluttering "tell anyone about this and I'll fucking kill you~" snarling pulling you into a deep kiss roughly riding you panting heavily

"Wo-wouldnt dream of it pretty~" groaning loudly pounding up into her gasping loudly at the sight - seeing her getting lost using you as a stress release- panting wildly getting lost in the need to breed her- you grabbed her waist roughly rutting into her snarling

Easily flipping her around once you saw her getting lost into it- pulling out, flipping her onto her stomach, pushing back in- "hey- wai-" pounding into her roughly snarling into her neck nipping at her roughly "i- I said wait~! Relax~!" Moaning flushed under you, leaning to hold your horn yanking roughly which- made you pound even rougher

"I fucking hate you so much." Lute moaned out weakly glaring up at you flushed as you pounded faster causing her to reach over to tug your tail moaning you whine moaning louder

" oh i hate you too~ but.. Then why is my dick in you?" You growled out clawing into her waist "fuck to bad it wasn't a real one~ would be mating you all day~ filling you up~" nuzzling into her wings watching them puff up aggressively flapping against your face expanding- making you glanced in curiosity

"Too bad then~ Then you'd be able to p-properly breed me," she gasped out, arching her back and letting you shove more into her at the thought, making you whine heavily tail thumping in her hold at the thought "yeah~? You like the sound of that? Go on. Try it~ act like it's your real c-cock" she stuttered out, moaning at how that? Seemed to flip some switch.

Like the whole time? You were holding yourself back from her. To keep yourself in check. But the second she uttered those words? :yeah? Wanna be bred? Fine." Grabbing her waist again, pounding into her rougher snarling loudly biting anywhere you could on her bruising her roughly "gonna carry my pups~"

Sobbing out, arching her back, shaking under your hands, digging into the ground, she broke. Submitting to you. "Fuck~, please~" she sobbed, begging. Which later? She'll be disgusted either herself about. But for now? She was fine with it. Fine with submitting

"Yeah? You want that?" You snarled out, panting rutting into her harder - faster as if you truly were attempting to. Groaning loudly moving to tower over her gasping "wanna mark you~ claim you as mine~ my mate" your instincts? Wishing to take over to do so. But logically, it wouldn't allow it

"Fuck~" gasping out her wings, expanding under you, fully flapping as if to make a show. As if she was courting you- she growled at the thought, praying you didn't pick up on it. That you didn't notice she an angel? Just courted you-

You didn't pick up on it.

For some reason, that? Pissed her off. Snarling tearfully at the accidental courting and accidental rejection moaning loudly rubbing your tail in her one hand, tugging hearing you whine gasping loudly

"C-close~?" You gasped out flushed darkly, watching her turn her head nodding without thinking, reaching down, kissing her deeply, biting at her lips roughly getting faster into her, ignoring how you ached- how you wished for the sweet release hearing her gasping almost sobbing out under you as she finally came "did so good~" Leaning back so she sat on your lap nuzzling into her bitten neck "so good~" you praised watching her whines puffing up softly

Panting she got off, your legs shaking, turning kissing you deeply moaning against your lips "fucked me good like a good whore~ maybe I should rewar-" her voice cut off the the alarm- letting you know. It's over. Execution day is over. With a deep sigh, she pulled away from you quickly, dressed once more. "Shit. Ok I got to go-"

Making you whine gently, holding her arms panting tail tucked "but - but I need you ma'am ." she stopped holding her mask, staring at you before sighing, reaching to kiss you deeply, shutting you up swallowing the whines and Begs

"Lute. My name is Lute." She huffed, looking away grabbing her mask frowning "next time. I'll fuck you. I have to go now-" without waiting. She put the mask on flying off grunting loudly not looking back.

Cursing softly, you hummed. Can't wait for the next execution day if it's gonna turn out like this- as you laid in the alley moving to get up once more.

She couldn't wait for it either.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin lute #lute x reader #hazbin hotel lute #lute smut #EVENT

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cupid-styles · 5 months

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omg ok so blurb idea for ginger ale bc u said u needed inspo

i know u kinda already touched up on this in the main story but what if mias like completely drained from school like its exam season and she has to study but shes also somehow failing classes even tho she studied and is swamped with work but cant get up to do anything bc shes panicking and stuff and idk maybe she pushes him away bc shes freaked out and hes like huh bc she never snaps at him like that bla bla and then some angst and fluff and comfort 😭

im so sorry this wasnt supposed to be that long but inspiration struck😭💀obviously u dont have to write it jus a suggestion

omg LOVE THIS!!!!! here's a little something for you :))

word count: 1.7k

content warnings: angst (all is solved in the end), harry being a dummy, age gap romance (8 years)

based on this one-shot!

masterlist | talk to me

. . .

Harry has never seen Mia so exhausted before.

Granted, they've only been officially dating for a few months, but she's typically a relatively organized student. It's something that he's always admired about her — he can think back to his days in university and immediately remembers scattered deadlines and far too many hungover mornings, resulting in constantly missing classes.

Then again, he's never seen her during finals season, and it's apparent that she's feeling the impact of papers, exams, and one too many late nights spent studying.

Because of the nature of their lives, finding time to spend with one another without work or school is often difficult. It's important to Harry that they actively set aside an evening or two each week that's just for them. No discussion of board meetings, lectures, or any stressors — he likes to keep it simple with a delicious and filling meal, a movie on the TV (whether or not they watch it is a separate factor), and his girl nestled into his side.

But for the first time ever, Mia's texting him to cancel.

Under any other ordinary circumstance, he'd be more understanding. Truly. But it's been almost a week since he's seen her, and he's feeling... well, needy. He misses her! And he knows that distance is good, blah blah blah, but this is their time — and it feels like she's just brushing him off, as if he barely matters.

It's why he ends up calling her on his way home from work with Reese driving smoothly and calmly up in the front. Harry drums his fingers against his knee as he listens to the dial tone, a frown on his lips as he waits for her to answer.

"Hello?"

Relief washes over his chest despite her anxiety-ridden tone. "Hey, I'm heading home from work. Do you want me to have Reese come pick you up?"

She sighs frustratedly, "Harry, I just texted you that I can't come over tonight. I have to study."

"You can't give up a few hours to spend with your boyfriend?" he fires back, an accusatory edge to his voice, "I've barely seen you lately."

"You've been in school before, H, you know how stressful exams season is. I need to do well."

"Mi, you're the smartest person I know, you'll be fine if you take some time away from—"

"I won't be, actually," she suddenly snaps. "I'm already failing one of my most important classes and if I don't get at least a B+ on the final, I'll have to retake it next semester. So no, I can't just slack off for a few hours, I need to study, Harry."

Immediately, he pauses. Mia has never gotten angry with him before, vice versa. And he doesn't think he's being particularly unreasonable — if anything, he feels she is — but he's mature enough to know that nothing's getting solved in this conversation. Not when she's clearly tired and stressed. Instead, he opts for the more caring-boyfriend-approach.

"I didn't know you were failing a course. Why didn't you ask for help?"

"Because you can't solve everything!" Mia exclaims, sending a pang of hurt rattling through his chest. "I need to go, alright? I'll see you soon."

With that, the line goes dead.

. . .

Even when Mia falls asleep on her couch, textbook in her lap and a highlighter between her fingers, she can't believe Harry.

The next morning, when she has a persistent ache in her neck and her back feels like it's broken in two, she knows school isn't the only stressful thing her body's responding to.

She thinks dating an older guy is great. Dating Harry is great. Until moments like this, when he somehow forgets that people — including his girlfriend — need to work to get certain things in life, and that they won't just be given an entire company a month after graduation. She doesn't doubt that he understands that on some level, but from the perspective of a partner — well, she thinks he's being pretty insensitive.

Her fingers twitch at her sides in class as she tries her best to pay attention, wanting nothing more to grab her phone from her bag to see if he's texted her. Midway through the day, though, there's still nothing. She can't believe he still hasn't apologized for how he acted the previous night, and it only makes anger fester in her chest even more.

Finally, by the time she trudges home in the cold (December is nearing, and with that comes miserable gusts of wind and flurries of snow), she's had it with his silent treatment. She's barely through the door when she decides that she'll be the one to break the tension — only, when she kicks her shoes off at the door, she notices that her kitchen and living room lights are on, and she surely turned them off before heading out this morning.

Gripping her phone in her hand, she quietly tip-toes out of the entryway, nervous that there's some sort of... homely intruder eating her snacks or watching TV. Instead, she gasps out in shock, clutching her chest when her eyes fall on none other than Harry.

"What the fuck?!" Mia exclaims, her heart thumping quickly with anxiety. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you."

She squints her eyes, feeling her eyebrows nearly shoot up to her forehead. "So you call. Or text. Not break into my house!"

"You gave me a spare key, Mia—"

"That's for emergencies!" she shouts, suddenly feeling like the living room is slowly getting smaller and closing in on her.

"But you never would've let me come over—"

"Harry, I was literally about to call you when I walked in the door. I'm still mad at you for last night! And you're only making me angrier by being here!"

Tears well up in her eyes as she spits the words out at him. She never thought she'd be in this position with him — it hurts her to even verbalize her anger.

"Wait," Harry stands from the couch, a furrow in his brows as he crosses his arms over the button-up he likely wore to work today, "You're mad at me?"

Mia stares back at him like he has two heads.

"Yes," she slowly replies. "Do not tell me you're mad at me."

His throat bobs. "Yeah. I am."

"For what?!" her anger festers in her chest all over again, exploding like an overflowing pot of boiling water.

"You— you haven't been around lately. You haven't been spending time with me or treating me like a priority."

She squints her eyes, her fingertips finding her temples as an ache begins to settle at the sides of her head. With a shake of her head, she turns around, stomping back towards the entryway of her apartment.

"You need to go," she decides, not even bothering to shed her jacket off yet, "I can't talk to you right now. You're being incredibly unreasonable."

"So you just want to walk away, then? We're not gonna solve anything, we're just gonna keep ignoring each other?"

"I was never ignoring you! I was waiting for you to apologize to me, only to find out that you think I'm in the wrong!"

Harry scoffs as he follows her down the hallway. "Well, I'm not leaving. I want to fix things. And I'm not going until we do."

"Is your approach to annoy me into apologizing?" Mia snaps.

"No," he mutters with a roll of his eyes, "Maybe we're both just being emotional."

She shrugs her shoulders.

"Do you still want me to go?"

Mia shifts her stance from foot to foot. With a noisy sigh, she shakes her head before mumbling out, "No. Let's just... talk about it."

He nods. There's a silence lulling between them as she stands with her back pressed against the wall, stubbornness apparent as she crosses her arms over her chest. He swallows and rolls his lips into a thin line.

"I'm sorry for coming over unannounced. That was very immature of me and crossing a boundary. I wasn't thinking, I just wanted to see you."

She keeps her eyes on the floor. "I just wish you'd texted or called instead. I waited all day to hear from you."

"I'm sorry," Harry repeats, his sock-clad feet taking a hesitant step closer to her, "It makes me feel stupid, how needy I can get. I know we're both busy with our own lives but I adore you, Mi. And I hate being away from you."

"I hate it, too," she mumbles, her bottom lip slightly pouted. "And you're not stupid for being needy... I just need you to understand that I'm working hard trying to get my education, and I need you to respect when I'm stressed or busy."

"I will. I'll do better."

She glances up to look at him. He looks tired, his eyes sad. With a quiet sigh, she lifts her hand to press her palm against his warm cheek. The prickles of his facial hair serve as a harsh juxtaposition from the soft skin beneath.

"I'm sorry, too. I never want you to feel like I don't care or I don't want to be with you. I just get so overwhelmed."

"I understand," Harry coos, wrapping a hand around her wrist to bring it to his mouth. He presses light kisses into her palm. "I know you care. I have to work on being more secure in our relationship."

Mia hums at his kisses, his gentle nature a welcomed change from their arguing.

"You know, you could always move closer," she murmurs with a smirk. He chuckles.

"Yeah. Or you could always just move in."

She rolls her eyes, "Then I'd really never get any work done."

"Mm, but think about how nice it'd be," he mumbles, slipping an arm around her waist to pull her closer. "I'd cook you dinner all the time, bring you snacks and tea while you study... you'd have your own office, of course. We could get a dog or a cat, too. Share a bed every night... you wouldn't have to use travel sizes of all your skincare stuff either, because everything would be there already."

She smiles to herself as she leans her head on his shoulder. The thought is nice. So nice. But they both know it's too early in their relationship, regardless of how deeply they feel for one another. Maybe it's a dream to work up to — a sweet, domestic life together.

"And you know what would be the best part?" she asks, brushing her lips up against the shell of his ear.

"Hm?"

"I'd get to use your heated bathroom floors every day."

#bestie asks #this took FOREVER #sorrrryyyy hehe #sugar daddy h #writing

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snenbubs · 5 months

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Okay so early my Dumas was chewing on a glowstick idk why I like the crunch and my brother tells me to stop before I krill myself and I looked him dead in the eyes and bit tf out of the glowstick breaking it and green chimalcs are just coming out of my mouth,and while I was trying to clean my mouth I was wondering what if mammon had an s/o who's very playful and he'll just find them throwing those little tiny ass demons in the air or just straigh has a fucking tea party with them

(I think their called underlings)

Idk why I'm requesting this I'm just very eepy and want to chew on a glowstick anyways have an amazing day

Ps funny pictures

HELLO!! SORRY I DIDNT RESPOND TO THIS RIGHT AWAY I NORMALLY DO I WAS SICK

also LMFAO IM CRYING I HAD TO SHOW THIS ASK TO MY FRIENDS CUZ IT WAS JUST ABSOLUTELY CRAZY, I HOPE UR OKAY PLS DONT DIGEST GLOW STICKS!!

I do absolutely love this idea though, so here u go!! I'll do HCs but if u want me to write like, a one-shot for this just leave an ask! :D

- Mammon is very playful himself, so i think thats definitely where the attraction lies between you both! He can get so serious at times, but its always easy for him to unwind when you are there, joking about and toying and laughing with him.

- You are absolutely, completely and utterly crazy but he adores it so so much.

- When the two of you first met, he thought it was an act, much like his touchy-feely friendly jester persona. He thought that you put on this entertaining personality for those around you, and it worked, clearly, as it drew him in so intently.

- SO, when he quickly found out that it wasn't an act, was he GLAD.

- You both definitely play pranks on the other sins or royals.

- Nothing too serious, it wont get you in trouble! But, a pail of water on Asmodeus' firey head is sure to get a rumble going. Honey in the pillows of Beezlebub. Just enough to have them angrily shaking their fists as the two of you giggle and laugh amonst yourselves.

- However, though he can bounce off of your playful personality well, there are moments where you catch him off guard.

- The time he caught you eating a glowstick was utterly HORRIFIC. He wasn't sure if the chemicals could hurt you the same way they did with humans on Earth, but he was NOT taking that risk.

- Que him chasing you around like a dog with chocolate.

- His underlings both love you and fear you, because how you treat them depends on your mood;

- If your happy, your playful personality will leave them joyous and replenished, a nice addition to the stressing job of serving Mammon.

- You throw tea parties for them a lot! Mammon didn't know about this for a LONG while as you mostly did it when he wasn't around, knowing his keen nature for work.

- These tea parties however aren't the fancy kind most royals would be into. The kinds that, as Mammon's partner, you're supposed to be into. No these are more like that of a mad-hatters tea party; the table is too small for you because most butler imps and hellborns are tiny. Tea is being spilt. The food is on fire. It's just absolute chaos.

- The shock on Mammon's face when he found out these things were occuring under his manors roof was something you wish you could have taken a picture of.

- But he couldn't stay angry at you.

- On the other hand, when you're upset, those poor underlings are being THROWN.

- It's not even like an accidental, in the moment thing. You just enjoy throwing them. Mammon has even bought you a few personal underlings that are specially used for throwing. He really cares about your hobbies.

- Now then... this playful personality of yours is very helpful when it comes to flustering Mammon.

- You tease him a lot, flirtatously.

- He's all bark no bite. Great at dishing out commente that'll have you flushed but so horribly bad at taking it.

- So, just one little comment; maybe mocking his accent seductively, will have him looking away all shy and meek.

- All in all, it's your playful personality that draws Mammon toward you, he loves how easy he can get along with you and how you always know how to bring a smile to his face. Being a Royal Sin is hard but knowing that you will always be there for him is what gets him through each Hellish day.

I hope you like this!!! :D feel free to leave me more reqs i rlly like them! ur my no.1 fan forreal

ps. that picture is both really funny and horrifically scary omg 😭

#mammon hb #mammon hb x reader #hb mammon #helluva boss x reader #mammon helluva boss #i love him #i need him so bad #he is so cute #and silly #i hope he has a lovely day #and i hopd you have a lovely day

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hp-hcs · 6 months

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IM THE ONE WHO REQUESTED THE THEODORE X MALE READER THING AND IT WAS AMAZING I LOVE IT SO MUCH OMG

i’m glad!! 😭😭 i was stressing out so much over that one cause there’s no real coherent plot but i pROMISE I KNOW WHERE THE STORY’S GOING

ends at kind of a weird spot cause idk how to end anything ever

ty to the person who said this could be a five part series. i appreciate your confidence in my attention span.

requests? please, sir, i want some more 🥺🤲

this fire ain’t the only thing that’s camp (Chapter Two of Splinched) — death eater! theodore nott x splinched! male! muggleborn! reader

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Theodore comes tromping back into the clearing with an armful of branches, twigs, pinecones, and duff. He clumsily dumps the load into the snow, wiping snow off of the log-turned-bench by the fire pit, and sitting down.

“Okay, now what?”

“Build the fire,” you instruct. “Make a pyramid shape.”

You bring your hands together so that your palms are far apart but your fingertips touch, making an ‘A’ sort of shape to illustrate your point.

“The pine needles and dead leaves and stuff, that’s all great tinder. It’ll burn the quickest, and help start the fire. Put that in the middle of your pyramid. Build your pyramid around that with the kindling; the twigs and thinnest branches.”

Theodore does as you say, making a rather shoddy pyramid that he seems quite proud of.

You pull your blanket tighter around yourself. You sit inside the entrance of the tent, the flap open and pinned back so you can still talk to Theodore.

You had caught a nasty fever the day after Theodore’s spell, leaving you incapacitated for days. To make matters worse, an unexpected snowstorm—nearly a month too early—froze the entire forest. The storm itself reeked of bad magic; everything about it seemed unnatural.

Merlin must’ve had a vendetta against you both, because additionally during that time, Theodore’s wand had begun to spark and malfunction. The Dark spell he’d cast must’ve done serious damage to the core. But his wand had fully given up that morning, shriveling up and blackening like a spent match.

You toss him your lighter and watch as he unskillfully manages to light the tinder, by the grace of God, and cheers with a loud whoop! that sends the birds in the nearby trees scattering into the air.

“Now just add the bigger branches as needed,” you advise, your teeth chattering.

Much to his chagrin, Theodore was quite relieved with your silly Muggle knowledge. He had no idea how to make or light a campfire without his wand, but you assured him that it wasn’t difficult to do the Muggle way.

Glancing over at you with a dumb, silly grin on his face, quite proud of his own achievement, he opens his mouth to mock-boast, only to have his breath stolen from him.

You still look quite sickly, rather weak and tired, but you really make quite a sight. Against the dull olive of the tent and the muted dark blue of the blanket you’re completely enveloped in, the red, sick flush of your face stands out quite a bit. White snowflakes dot your eyelashes, and your pretty eyes seem to track his every movement.

Stop it, Theodore. You have a job to do.

Clearing his throat, he makes his way back to the tent, ducking in and sitting next to you while occasionally glancing over to keep an eye on the fire.

Your face barely peeks out from the thick blanket as you peer out at him. You clearly are thinking of asking him something.

Please don’t ask why I did it, please, for the love of Merlin, don’t ask, don’t as-

“Why’d you help me?”

Fuck.

“Hm?” Theo hums, as if he hadn’t understood you, wrapping one of the spare blankets around himself.

“You could’ve just left me to bleed out. Or you could’ve said fuck it and Apparated anyway. Why’d you help me?”

“The Dark Lord doesn’t like his things damaged,” Theo says in a gruff voice, any friendliness in his demeanor completely vanishing and signaling the end of the conversation.

You just nod, retreating back into your blanket cocoon.

You both sit in silence.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Chapter Three

#harry potter #fuck jkr #hp #hp x male reader #x male reader #gay #x reader #theodore nott #theodore nott x reader #theo nott x reader #theo nott #theodore nott x male reader

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ayoharuko · 1 year

Note

DANGANRONPA REQUEST OPEN I HEARD?

Here I come

The danganronpa # has been soo dead

I want more content

Soo can u do byakuya x reader uh idk I have no ideas soo can you do just general bf headcanons? Idk idk im sorry

Have a nice day tho and don't forget to drink and eat love

Ty for the request! and yea Danganronpa has been pretty dead but I love the games so I'll provide content~

Also I'm really really sorry for taking so long to finish ur request, if u haven’t seen my pinned post I've been admitted in the hospital so I'm sorry....I hope this can make up for it :)

NON-despair AU btw~

REMINDER: This character does not belong to me but belongs to Kazutaka Kodaka also this work is fiction so please don’t take it too seriously :3

Byakuya Togmai (Ultimate Affluent Progeny) x GNreader general headcanons

- Now our boy isn’t used to these lovey dovey shit and at the start of y'alls relationship he treated you..rather coldly....but don’t worry! Later on he’ll act a little less cold :)

- To show his love and appreciation for you he buys you VERY expensive gifts and just spoils you, Basically like a sugar daddy-

- PDA is not that heavy...holding hands is only it or linking arms very gentleman like but indoors you are feel to do whatever you would like with him, He’ll complain of course but won’t stop you lol

- He protects you from getting killed by Toko.

- You’re the only person his sweet too, no one else. So feel special hon~

- He LOVES cuddling you, Like big spoon is good on him but on the days where his stress and gloomy he likes being little spoon<3

- He’s waiting for you guys to graduate...why? Because he wants to purpose to you duh! Once this man falls inlove...he’ll never let you go..(yandere?)

- Don’t fall for the insults and cold looks, for deep inside he truly does love and cherishes you :3

‘’Here...what? Tch...I just wanted to buy you something nice...no need thank me...I’ll buy you the whole world if I could.....what? Nothing...your hallucinating...’’

Donee~

Tysm for being patient and again I'm sorry for taking so long :)

I hope u guys liked this and see u on my next post!

Reblogs and Feedback/Comments are always appreciated! :3

Edited by: @purpi-narwhale

#danganronpa #danganronpa x reader #danganronpa x y/n #danganronpa x you #danganronpa: trigger happy havoc #byakuya togami x reader #byakuya togami x you #byakuya togami x y/n #byakuya togami

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quodekash · 10 months

Text

HELP I JUST LOOKED UP GUMPA'S ACTOR AND HE WAS BEAM IN MLC???

MY DAD IS BEAM???

IM LOSING MY MIND OVER IT

anyway on another note the gang's about to be caught by cops! ✨

oh. never mind sean drove past them. in no world will that have good results.

YOK JUST GOT SHOT

WHY IS EVERYONE GETTING SHOT

AAAAAAAAAAA

i swear if they freaking kill yok im going to find gmmtv and destroy them

stop trying to be freaking heroic, okay, YOU ARE IMPORTANT

DAD HAS COME TO SAVE THE DAY

hes so stressed though

im so scared for yok rn

pls let him be okay

WHY IS THE THUMBNAIL FOR THE NEXT PART DAN'S FACE LOOKING INSANELY GUILTY??? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED???

episode 8 3/4 of the eclipse, anyone?

i swear that part of the series is just the infirmary interlude of the series

anyway im not watching the eclipse im watching not me

focus, egg. focus.

HELL YEAH, THANK FREAKING GOODNESS

THERE HE IS, OKAY NOW TELL ME: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED

force like the guy? force jiratchapong? cos if its just him then they're all good, they'll hug it out and be on their merry way.

if it's not him, then they're screwed

WHAT THE HELL

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON

OH NO AND YOK IS CRYING

NOW IM CRYING

IM SO CONFUSED???

AAAAAAAAA

I WANT TO TEAR MY HAIR OUT

WHAT

(and in amongst all this chaos, my brain is still thinking "kinky" because he said "finally you get to arrest me for real")

THIS IS EMOTIONALLY DISTRESSING

dfghj

ghrbdfgh

VHDBFHX

GRDNFHHJXGBJFHDB

PAIN

OH FLASHBACK, FINALLY, A FREAKING EXPLANATION

....

who the hell is this guy?

oh. so we just dont find out who the hell that guy was? is this information i was supposed to know already? i have no working memory, especially not when i probably previously encountered this guy in the early hours of the morning when my brain was shutting down, so i have no clue whats going on rn

im so confused that i cant cry anymore, but this is me internally

this wasnt supposed to happen to my boys

and yet they saved this plot for the side couple??? the side couple is supposed to be my main source of dopamine, but its getting a little difficult when they're arRESTING EACH OTHER

AND HES CRYING TOO

IDK WHAT'S GOING ON OR WHY HE DID WHATEVER IT IS THAT HE DID (or who the hell that guy was) BUT I STILL LOVE HIM AND HIS PRETTY EYELASHES AND I AM IN PAIN

TO DEFEAT

T H E H U N S

but who are you

...no

not even slightly

NOOOO MY DAD IS GETTING ARRESTED

what i dont get is why the only one who was actually properly handcuffed was the one in the wheelchair. why were the others all zip-tied. why wasnt yok also zip-tied. i have questions.

THERE'S AN ADULT VERSION OF YOUR TEACHER SAYING THEY'LL CALL YOUR PARENTS IF YOU KEEP MISBEHAVING???

i dont think its a mistake that the random old guy talks about his parents and then the very next frame is gumpa looking at him disappointedly.

he is dad.

its just a fact

oh !

hello there!

HELL YEAH (what a great screenshot that is)

he looks as confused as i feel

"you told me not to look for you if i wanted no regrets. i should have believed you then." NOOOOO

WHY WOULD YOU MURDER MY SOUL LIKE THAT

I SWEAR IM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW

ill avenge your beautiful hand and your beautiful foot. ill tear off the legs of every dragon i fight. with my face.

mm mm mm, it's the wings and the tails you really want. if it cant fly, it can't get away. a downed dragon is a dead dragon.

(yawn) alright, im off to bed. you should be too. tomorrow, we get to the big boys, slowly but surely making our way to the monstrous nightmare. but who'll have the honour of killing it?

it's gonna be me. it's my destiny, see?

(le gasp) your mom let you get a tattoo?

it's not a tattoo, its a birthmark!

okay, ive been stuck with you since birth, and that's never been there.

yes it has, you've just never seen me from the left side before!

every moment is the right moment to quote how to train your dragon

anyway that's the end of the episode. uh... that hurt.

#quodekash watches not me for the first (FIRST) time #not me #not me series #not me the series #seanwhite #danyok #offgun #first kanaphan #fluke gawin #off jumpol #gun atthaphan #papang phromphiriya #not me gumpa

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boxwinebaddie · 4 months

Note

does ravenstan have his tooth gap filled?!? he better not but i feel like kyle woulda totally noticed by now! ahhh and whats up with chapter 6 D: it was an absolute masterpiece to me!

unfortunately...that's affirmative, darling. :(

when you are a big hotshot celebrity boy and everyone is looking at you, you cannot afford ( ironically ) to have fucked up teeth, so he did have his tooth filled in. or rather, management had his tooth filled in.

& technically, he also is *Supposed* to wear an invisalign at night, but ravenstan forgets the lyrics to his own songs ( granted the recent ones C.D. has released haven't been written by him at all :/ -- that's why they're all shallow, vapid and gimmicky ) so idk how they expect him to remember to put that hunk of Plastic in his mouth like...like the closest thing that man has to mouthwash is a shot of jack smh.

i wrote...way too much in this ask meme. this was a wild ride, i'm sorry for being unhinged. i spiraled halfway through this, lmao. <3

edit: i forgot to bring up chapter six. i will bring it back, mayhaps. i had a Stannic Attack after posting it, also, felt weird about it. but i am glad you liked it. i also...liked it? but it was stressing me out, so just hang in there and i'll try to give you a more in depth answer later xx.

but riiiiip stan's beautiful chipped tooth!!!!! :((( a testament to his love for kyle broflovski via pint-sized homoerotic hockey puck heroism at stark's pond </333 i bet you when raven was getting his tooth fixed, somewhere in nyc, jersey kyle felt a sudden, sharp sting of pain and sorrow he couldn't place. the second he finds out u better believe my man will be screaming, crying, punching the air, trying to fight every dentist in the world. THAT WAS HIS TOOTH. HIS STANS TOOTH!!! :(

management....count your fucking days.

( i kind of want to tell you guys what the record labels name is, but it might say too much but also...;)))) i'll take a compliment bribe >.> )

also because it was RavenStan...it was probably pretty much the best orthodontist they could find and it looks really good. tbh i don't think you would be able to tell that his tooth was fucked up at all...sigh. :/

really, the only evidence of stan's tooth being fucked up is from photo albums ( a lot of them got burnt up ), the polaroids that kyle has, the pictures of him in the sp yearbooks ( which were the ones ran in the papers and one online article when news broke that he died...with his fucking dead name printed under them...choke and die, south park )

speaking of school pictures, fun fact! or actually not that fun...sixth grade was stan's last year of school. physically, at least. he had to do school from home/online because for obvious reasons, stan could not risk going to actual irl school after he disappeared. he was told it was 'way too risky and dangerous, bird' ( the person taking care of him called him that as a nickname c: )...stan did literally Beg tho :(

which is actually really sad bc stan complained abt actual school sm when he was actually allowed to go when he was 'alive' and then was forced to watch every other kid be able to do actual hs stuff while he sat at home, safe, robbed of having a normal adolescence. im so </3

i fucking love act two of the rm!prequel. i want to talk about it more, but it features a lot of stuff we don't know abt it yet/important chars.

not like that's gonna stop me, lmaoooo!!! again! i'll take a bribe! ;))))

anyways!!! back to school and stuff, kenny was constantly like dude i wish i could stay home!!! school sux! and stan was like at least u can GO to school, ken! u just choose not to!!! >:c ( like stan...stfu, do not pretend like u wouldn't be asleep or ditching ) kenny DID sneak him out a lot to go to high school parties and he got into a looooot of trouble for doing that oh my god smh. worth it...my boys, my boys.

not a lot of pictures of him from act two either, i'm afraid. definitely nothing digital. there are physical pictures, home videos, things like that. he wasn't really allowed to have any social media At All 4 safety.

but uh....if you want to hear something really fruity and pathetic...stan was specifically not supposed to use the internet to snoop on kyle. like he was Specifically Banned and Strictly Forbidden from looking up shit about kyle broflovski which...BOOOOO!!! COME ON!!!!!

...that did not stop him tho. he made a looooot of burner accounts to snoop. but like...no such luck, really. kyle had like no social media. he had an instagram, i think. but it was private and had...1 picture on it.

do u know how actualy Nutso Fucking Batshit Insane it made stan to not know what that ONE picture looked like? do you know how many times, he downloaded/redownloaded insta, how many fake accounts he tried to make to try and trick kyle into following him? smh gaywad.

so, dw team! while kyle was in/out of psych wards bc he was seeing stan everywhere, stan was perpetually grounded for being gay aka google searching kyle and looking pretty much everywhere for him.

but speaking of the internet, the cd boys did run a joint meme account while they were living together. no pictures of them just...low quality meme content. BUT SPEAKING!!!!! of low quality. THE ONLY DAMNING EVIDENCE OF TOOTH!STAN!!!! is a super old battle of the bands video that was taken of them at some piece of shit event like 3...4 years ago? the camera quality is really bad and shaky, the sound quality is even worse. also that video has like 57 views TOPS but it was before they got scouted and stans tooth is fucked up in it. ;)

not that u can see it, lmao. or know how to find it because they were not crimson dawn until they got signed. in LA they cycled between a lot of really bad, cringey band names so it would be really difficult to locate that video or pause it in the right place to like barely make out stans tooth bc the light was catching on it sm/it was out of focus.

BUT IDK!!! IF ANYONE IS CRAZY AND UNHINGED ENOUGH TO FIND THAT VIDEO, ITS KYLE BROFLOVSKI, BABEY! GO KYLE GO!

tldr: stan's tooth did get filled in and now our hearts are empty. but it Would be too easy to identify him; kyle would know that tiny fucked up tooth anywhere. tbh the tiny stan right eye beauty mark is also v damning, but stans hair is always in his eyes/his eyeliner is always so badly smudged that you can't see it all the time ( kyle also purposely tries Not to look at raven bc hes dummy Hot and doesnt want to admit it lmao like hes subconciously aware that he would simp lmao )

YOU ALSO REALLY CANT BE LIKE THAT CELEBRITY MAN ALSO HAS A BEAUTY MARK BY HIS EYE, THATS MY DEAD SBF!!!! i would not put it past kyle to try that, but i think regardless he would have gaslight himself into thinking that ravens stan beauty mark was an ugly mark and that he was having clozapine hallucinations again because stan....is....dead and is clearly not raven of c.d. clear...ly. <3

the way that kyles 'psychosis' is just him having really good intuition.

the world owes kyle broflovski an apology, istg. i see you, baby!!!!!

-uncle nina, cassandra complex kyle matthew broflovski apologist

#i talked abt stuff i wasnt supposed to again #what else is new guys #i hope this was thrilling tho i love talking abt the lore #words cnanot describe how much i want to talk abt act 2 and 3 stan before stan was cd raven #also ik that his life sounds kinda bad in 2 bc he was like stan banned from doing like everything #but he was actually...very well loved and taken care of #the person that took care of stan really loved stan a lot and was really just trying to protect him #theyre my favorite rm side char i always say that but i actually mean it they are my favorite one #anyways i tlaked too much but yall needed to know how down horrendous stan was when he was dead #he was googling kyle so much that he like actually got in trouble for it he was like NOT supposed to do that #and all im gonna say abt the tooth thing and kyle knowing #is that u can fix stans tooth and cover up his beauty mark #you can put him in the little pants and make him walk w confidence and teach him how to be cool n sexy #but all u really gotta do is put on terrance and phillip and listen to stan laugh uncontrollably for an entire thirty minutes #eyes emoji #anyways!#bring back stans fucked up tooth!!!#honestly he did get close someone did throw like a cellphone at him on stage once so they could get a selfie #he matrix dodged it it was very cool but we were robbed

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evil8keta · 2 years

Note

got any general headcanons for each tf2 merc? :D

miscellaneous tf2 mercs headcanons

SCOUT

- transgender asf

- uses terrible pick up lines and invites his dates to fast food restaurants and yet he's wondering why he can't pull any girls

- looks approachable but in reality you really don't wanna deal with this guy, he's a menace. doesnt matter if you're his friend or not, he'll backstab you for money (literally, of course)

- has an energy drink addiction. gets really snappy when he doesnt get his 5 cans of bonk atomic punch a day

- HATES silence, it stresses him out so he likes to put on some music whenever he can. it helps him focus and overall scout just prefers to have some sort of background noise while doing literally anything. the only problem is that he likes his music loud. like, the whole house is shaking kind of loud. the other mercenaries hate him for this, because when they tell him to quiet it down, he instead turns the volume all the way up like the little shit he is❤️ the only way to make scout turn it off is to fight him. it isnt that difficult to beat him up, but it's still annoying to go through all of this yknow

SOLDIER

- developed a hearing difficulty during his time in the war. if you're wondering if his bad hearing is the reason why he yells all the time, then no. he was always yelling like that

- keeps bringing random stray animals to the base. the others told him many times that NO, he can't just bring in wild animals whenever he wants to! medic literally fainted the last time soldier wanted to sneak a possum into the base. not gonna lie tho, it's pretty wholesome watching soldier "train" some random field rodents. they bite him and hiss at him, but soldier sees that as a sign of their resilience and love for fighting so all he does is watch them with a big smile on his face. he even praises them with stuff like "GOOD JOB RECRUITS! I AM SO PROUD!"

- has a very strict sleeping routine and always manages to get a perfect 8 hours of sleep. he doesn't even use an alarm, he just knows when to fall asleep and when to wake up and does so on command. also soldier looks very funny in his sleepwear. he wears a night gown and a big nightcap that covers his eyes

- evil autism

PYRO

- idk what mental illnesses pyro has to but oh boy there's definetely something very wrong with them

- their room is very.....interesting. on one side there's cute plushies and glow in the dark stickers. on the other side there's scorched furniture and -- oh my god are those human bones?!

- theyre like those slashers that take pictures of their victims. pyro hangs these gruesome photos of people dying on the walls of their room, but to them it's just cute selfies with their bffs 😼😼

- they sometimes bring their teammates body parts or organs of the enemies as a gift. kinda like how cats bring their owners dead animals. this is literally pyro's love language

- i have one joke headcanon about pyro and it's that they're not a human. pyro is actually just 20 frogs in a hazmat suit carrying a flamethrower

HEAVY

- literally the most reliable person on the team. he's super nice and friendly and polite and kind and very very caring......ok can you guys tell im biased towards him

- the opposite of scout. heavy looks very intimidating so it's hard to approach him at first but if you start talking to him you soon realize hes very nice to talk to :) awesome dude to just chill and eat sandwiches with

- bookworm!! his room is filled with a bunch of different books, most of them being in russian but he has some foreign ones too. i think heavy is very smart but it's just that his broken english makes him appear kinda dumb. he struggles with processing english sentences and pronunciation. that's why he speaks so simple and slow

- if you ask heavy if he is medic's wife he says yes, if you ask medic if heavy is his wife he says no. its up to you to decide who's lying

DEMOMAN

- talks in his sleep. like a LOT. dude will literally recite to u the periodic table during his 20 minute nap

- even more patriotic than soldier,which is saying a lot. has a bunch of pictures of scotland around his room and probably even wears underwear with the flag of scotland. he's literally like the embodiment of the guy yelling SCOTLAND FOREVER!!!!!

- demo feels insecure about his drinking habit. like usually he doesnt think too much about it, but sometimes he really feels ashamed of himself for being an alcoholic. his mood gets very sour on these days, so to feel better he reaches for another bottle of scrumpy to forget about his worries.....and the cycle continues

- often looses parts of his body due to working with bombs and other explosive stuff. honestly i have no idea what these guys would even do without medic

ENGINEER

- whenever it's his turn to cook for the base he's like "alright boys get ready to get blown away" and then it's just another barbecue. not gonna lie though, his food is delicious. the mercs gave him an apron saying king of the grill

- loves fishing!! and yea he unironically wears those women love me fish fear me shirts whenever he goes fishing. he genuinely thinks it's stylish

- invents random shit for fun. he spends most of his time alone in his workshop so who knows what weird things he's making. most of the time his personal little inventions are practical stuff, maybe something like an automatic beer opener or a toaster that never burns the bread. but he's definetely making something more, something bigger. idk what it is but maybe i dont even want to know

- has a really strange sense of humor. you can tell him the funniest joke ever with the most genius punchline known to mankind and hes gonna look at you with a blank expression, uttering a confused "...wha", but show him a picture of a chicken in shoes and hes gonna burst out laughing. oh engineer you would have loved 21st century humor

MEDIC

- has like 12 mental illnesses. yes he's aware of all of those. and YES he chooses to ignore his symptoms and doesn't take any medication

- he did loose his medical license, but that's because he kept experimenting on his patients. he still does that, except now he's actually allowed to do it (well, not really). but other than that he's still quiet skilled in his field and his abilities are nothing but impressive

- a total drama queen. also he's pretty germaphobic for a guy that digs his hands in someone's guts for a living

- loves his birds so much. he forgot their names, so now he calls them all archimedes. he loves taking care of them and doesnt trust any of the mercs with his birds. but heavy is an exception, heavy can feed them :)

SPY

- gets even LESS bitches than scout does. LITERAL ZERO!! he miraculously pulled scout's ma but ever since then the man had a catastrophically low amount of bitches. maybe it's because of the balaclava he never washes

- horrible, horrible man. he can be responsible and polite but only if it's beneficial for him, other than that he's pretty rude to everyone he meets. he's respectful towards women tho, but that's basic standards

- spy is the inventor of your mom jokes. it's true, he told me himself

- don't tell anyone but spy loves romantic comedies. however he thinks liking romcoms is like the most embarrassing thing ever and really doesn't want anyone to think he's sappy like that, but in reality most of his teammates know he's a hopeless romantic and they really don't care

- is the best cook on the team, but very rarely makes food for the others. he always complains about how everyone else's food is bad and how only his food is digestable, but he never cooks himself. the only way to get him into the kitchen is to do something nice for him in return. smh

SNIPER

- neurodivergent asf

- ok so you know how some introverts dont like to approach others so they just stare at the person they want to talk to until theyre noticed? well yea sniper does that. like sure he could just go and talk to someone directly but why do that when he can just. stare ominously

- bird enjoyer!! brings medic's doves little treats when the doctor isnt looking

- has a VERY quetionable diet. he's like those dudes on youtube that eat moss and bugs and talk about how nutritial it is. sniper is used to staying long periods of time outside, so he's used to any and all challenges the wildlife can offer. he may look scrawny, but he totally wrestled an alligator at some point in his life (and won)

- he's the team's exterminator. if there's a spider in the base sniper puts it in a jar and releases it outside <3

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #keta writes #headcanons

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moonjxsung · 1 month

Note

STAR MY BELOVED 💞💗💓🩷

okay basically i just need to vent a little and you’re actually the loml so who better to vent to than you🤭

okay but basically i’m so fucking stressed cause i’m leaving for korea on thursday and i have so much to do and i feel like i don’t have enough time? also i’m just so fucking scared and just feeling very meh rn. i’m gonna be flying alone and just so petrified of something going wrong, or me forgetting something important or just that something awful is gonna happen. and also just really feeling weird and lonely and just idk how to explain in but i’m just feeling EVERYTHING so deeply right now and i actually hate it so much. i just don’t know what to do with myself and i’m just struggling with every simple thing right now which feels pathetic cause why am i struggling basic stuff like eating and working and just things that should be simple? and easy?

i don’t know if any of this makes sense and also i’m sorry for like spamming you with this but just needed to get it out and you just feel so easy to open up to and so comforting so yeah🫶

BUT I LOVE YOU AND I HOPE YOU’RE DOING WELL! ALSO YOU’RE SEEING SKZ? THE HAN JISUNG? UGH I LOVE THAT FOR YOU AND YOU DESERVE IT SO SO MUCH MWAH👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

HI MY BABY I MISSED YOU HOW ARE THINGS 💞💞💞💞💞☹️🫶🫶💞🫶 you’re going to KOREA !!!! That’s so fucking exciting RAHHHH WE ALL CHEERED but I still totally understand being scared of flying alone !!! The first time I flew alone was for a business trip for my work across the country and I was literally PETRIFIED. The thing that worked best for me was to write down a little itinerary for myself in my phone notes (when to check in, my gate info, what time I boarded/landed, all my layover info, even what snacks I wanted to buy and how long I had between connecting flights!!) I also wrote little words of comfort for my future self just reminding myself to take a deep breath and drink water or listen to music and to stay CALM. And every time I started to get nervous I just read little notes from myself and it helped a LOT. Also portable chargers!!! Are a lifesaver!! My phone was almost dead by the time I landed (it was literally like 15 hours of flying) but my portable charger literally saved my life so I could still call an Uber to my hotel otherwise idk what I would’ve done. Don’t feel so much pressure to do everything in one day! Take it day by day and get a small few things done each day, maybe write down how you’re feeling or what you still have to finish and I promise it’ll be so much easier by the time your trip comes around. It’s also so important to just romanticize the whole trip so that it feels more exciting, I was crying when I had to take this business trip and I literally searched for every excuse to get out of it but when I got there I had a giant hotel suite to myself and I ordered chocolate chip pancakes from this little diner across the street and I ate so much food and watched shitty movies alone in my room and danced to Lorde music and it was MAGICAL. Doing things alone can be so scary but really putting yourself in the moment and allowing yourself to FEEL and just make the most of little things like pancakes or bad movies can be so so healing. I hope you have so many special little moments on your trip there and even MORE special moments in Korea!!!! What area are you traveling to & do you have anything fun planned?? I love you bby, don’t stress I am here for you alwayssss!! Also feel free to spam my inbox on the day you’re flying if it helps I will be manifesting a fun & safe trip for you my angel YOU GOT THIS 🫶🫶🧘‍♀️👼💘💞

ALSO YES I AM SEEING SKZ AND HANJI AGAIN IM SO FUCKING EXCITED I PROMISE I WILL TELL U ALL ABOUT IT ILY ILY I STILL CANT BELIEVE IT

#ask

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shameboree · 2 years

Note

hey kels how did you figure out what you'd do for work?

do you mean profession or specialty? ill answer BOTH bc the answer is the same

GOT CANCER. WENT SEPTIC. ALMOST DIED. the single most influential event of my LIFE this is why i am so patient and like positive or whatever bc literally nothing is worse than almost dying. that shit SUCKED. anyway i knew i wanted to do SOMETHING in oncology but it took me years to even begin processing that shit and i worked FOR YEARS after in a meangirls viper pit i refer to exclusively as babyhell (daycare (derogatory)) so it took me a hot minute to really figure myself out.

DISCLAIMER that i am the kinda person who makes life choices QUICK AS SHIT bc i know myself really well and i have a pretty good sense of what i want. idk if u can tell but im a v fast pace kind of person so when i decided to become a nurse it was in like a 5min stretch of Thinking and then i was just like Yeah this is It. my RAPID FIRE thought process in those 5 min was basically is this a field where my personal attributes and experiences can make a positive impact on other ppl?? the answer was YES. i also thought CAN I MAKE MONEY?? the answer here was ALSO yes. TWO BIRDS, A SINGLE STONE.

in baby hell i WAS making positive impacts on kiddos and their families (several families left when i left bc of how much they trusted me blah blah) but like it was NOT rewarding to me. too much stress too little payoff bc i love kids but they arent my PASSION u feel?? ALSO pay was TRASH GARBO. ANYWAY when i thought abt working w cancer patients or people who i could relate to in terms of life/traumatic medical experiences it was something i immediately vibed w bc i knew that common ground could facilitate meaningful therapeutic interactions in an otherwise massively stressful environment.

for me, personally, its a matter of giving back. my oncology nurses fucking ROCKED and made me feel like a person during a time where even well meaning ppl reduced me to a pitiable diagnosis they could use to fuel their tragedy porn. i wanna PAY THAT SHIT FORWARD, so even working medsurg, the most NOTORIOUSLY MISERABLE AND SOUL SUCKING type of nursing there is (memes abt medsurg nurses wishing for death or being dead inside or crying every shift are TOO REAL) i still dont regret becoming a nurse and still find meaning and satisfaction in it even during shifts that make me feel batshit miserable and soul sucked.

choosing a Job or a Career doesnt need to hinge on WORTHINESS or POSITIVE IMPACT or whatever, ig its like what you find fulfilling!! and also not necessarily what youre GOOD at (eg a lot of GOOD AT DRAWS ppl go into art/ani industry and fucking LOATHE it every day. this is why i did not go to art skool). theres that pressure that u gotta figure urself out young as fuck blah blah etc but life can be long!!! you can go turtle pace. there were several 50-60+yos in my nurse school cohort!!

i am trying not to get soapbox pep talky here. anyway i only am an insane fast track nutbag bc i almost died, so basically thats how i make all my life choices.

#having had cancer is my most defining feature its VERY annoying but that exp is why i am so obnoxiously confident #anyway go at ur own pace blah blah #theres no rush to figure urself out like if you died tmrw would ppl be like OH FUCK THEY WERE SO YOUNG!! if so dont even sweat it #if not then like who gives a shit!! are you dead yet bitch?? NO!! you got TIME!!#i typed all this and didnt read it over so i as always im sure i sound bananas. thats just me babey #kels talks

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allamericansbitch · 1 year

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i became a fan of taylor in early 2021 because a youtuber i liked mentioned the song dear john and how it was one of the most heartbreaking and well written songs ever, and so i listened to it, and fell in love with it and was just amazed, and then i watched like all the reactions on youtuber of people listening to her songs, then i listened to the entirety of speak now and fell in love, and this was over a couple of months. when i found out about the re-recording thing i went to check that if dead john was one of the songs and then slowly just listened to her entire discography and learned everything about her career and the fans.

luckily i was on tumblr and learnt from people like you and other nice big blogs, so it was a jice, non-toxic environment to learn about it, in comparison to like tiktok lol.

and that’s basically where i’m at now. my favourite song when i was younger was sparks fly and i was obsessed with the blank space video, but we never had anything like spotify, and my family didn’t listen to any radio stations she would be on, so i never heard any of her music.

i’m really happy to have discovered how amazing her entire discography is now, and i’m so thankful for all the friends i have here now, like most of my good friends here i found because of taylor and because they are taylor blogs.

idk why i’m saying all of this, i just wanted to say that you, and other blogs like @tolerateit made discovering her music and finding out about it all and finding friends really nice and fun and not stressful on here, so i just wanted to say thanks and that you are really lovely and i’m really thankful to have found people like you on here, who just kinda make my day a lot better

sorry for ranting at you and sorry if this is like way too much information but i just wanted to say thanks and that you’re really lovely <3

Aww you're so welcome! i'm always fascinated with what gets peoples attention and peaks their interest with taylor, especially newer fans who im sure have heard a song or two and later got into her, you know? what that final push was to get into her. i'm glad i could play a small part in it! thank you for your kind words 💕💕

#answered #death-and-the-lady13

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goremet-chef · 8 months

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tw for death i just need to get these thoughts out of my head for now

so, my great grandma passed away the other day. i dont feel like i deserve any "sorry for yr loss" shit cuz like.. truth be told i didnt like her that much. she was an old conservative white woman, im sure you know what i mean by that. i used to have to leave the living room to go cry in the bathroom cuz ofthe shit she said about trans people

she didnt know i was trans so maybe if she did it wouldve been different, but regardless

shes dead now, and im just. really dissociated tbh. and a little sad. and a little angry

its just. i mean it sounds so stupid to say "oh death is traumatic for me" because death is traumatic for pretty much everyone i think? its scary. terrifying. and you can never outrun it, no matter what

i mentioned this in a different post, but my fear of death started INCREDIBLY early, like no kid should be scared thinking about that stuff but i was. and i asked her specifically after having a dream where she was like. brutally murdered, i asked her if she was going to die soon and she laughed a little and said no

i was only a little kid back then but it. i dont know how to describe this. knowing that the answer has changed is so... suffocating. death catches up with everyone and every time it proves that in my life i just get more and more stressed

and i mean, i cant lie. i know i didnt like her but i used to. i used to really love her, and i know she really loved me. i was her favorite, im pretty sure. this still hurts. i dont think i deserve any condolences or whatever cuz. i hadnt seen her for a whole year, up until recently. i purposefully stayed home and away instead of visiting cuz i just didnt like being around someone like her. that hasnt changed, but im still glad i got to see her one last time. i saw her apparently 2 days before she died, which is traumatic on its own

my brain has such a hard time processing the.. finality of it. she told me she liked my hair and how it was shorter and it felt good. when we left cuz her morphine was kicking in and she was out of it, i hugged her and told her i loved her, and she said she loved me too. her voice was quiet and whispery, honestly. weak, yknow how it is. she had lung cancer, idk why its always cancer

its scary to have my relatives slowly dropping dead one by one. like.. my family is getting smaller, isnt that terrifying? i dont know how to handle this. i know its a long ways away but my mind is just.. waiting with bated breath for when it takes my nana, and my grandma, and my mom, my siblings. etc

ive tried so hard to come to terms with this thing and it. its all for nothing because no matter how i look at it, no matter the optimism or the peace or WHATEVER, im still terrified of it. its natural, it happens to everyone, every single living thing on this planet will die eventually. its so scary, i dont want to die. i dont want the people i love to die, but its not like i get a say in it

now shes gone, the last moments i spent with her are like.. haunting my brain. and i feel GUILT, especially. i think i was valid in not wanting to see her for so long, i dont feel particularly guilty for that. but i feel guilty that even after all that time, she still loved me. i guess im glad she never knew how i really felt about her

whats even worse? the other day, im assuming the day she died, i overheard my mom talking to her on the phone

and it was like.. idk it made me sick? hearing my mom telling her in this like.. not nonchalant but. not how someone whos grandma is dying real time would sound id imagine. her telling her that shes gotta spread her wings, and go meet grandpa, and watch over us

i dont know if she was dead when my mom said it or not, or maybe she was fading then and there, but. it made me so sad. what if she could hear? i guess she probably wouldnt, the drugs made her very.. gone. but like. if she could, the last thing she wouldve heard was someone telling her shes going to die

how terrifying is that? im still stuck up on that. if i was dying would my mom say something like that to me? i dont wanna think about it

it makes me mad, though

i guess she died on call with my mom but. no one mentioned anything about it until today, and i had to go out of my way to literally ASK if she was dead

why do they keep doing this to me? i have a fucking right to know. they did it with artemis too. when my grandmas cat got put down cuz of her heart failure, NO ONE told me until a few days later when my sibling was like "did you hear about artemis?" and my heart sank cuz.. thats never a good thing to hear and they were like "yeah idk why nobody told you? but grandma put her down"

i still havent really processed her death, i fell back on escapism and dissociation, i dont know if im ready for that yet

why wouldnt you tell me? why dont i have the right to know? why dont they tell me anything anymore, my bedroom is right next to yours

its so frustrating. even if it hurts me, LET IT hurt me. let me grieve and mourn, its what im supposed to do. i cant tell if its a sheltering thing or if they genuinely just. feel like it doesnt matter to tell me or not. its so upsetting man

#tw death #death #vent

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