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#what happened was that i was feeling really down these past few days
reidsdaisies · 3 days
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𝐀𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞
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༉‧´ˎ˗ paring; spencer reid x gn!reader ༉‧´ˎ˗ summary; spencer just looks too irresistible in those damned short-shorts. ༉‧´ˎ˗ content warnings; horrific ‘banter’ (reader is just a tease), sub!spencer, handjob. ༉‧´ˎ˗ wc; 0.8k
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𝐂𝐌 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 || 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
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“Dork,” you snort.
“What!” Spencer practically squeaks, spinning back around to look at himself in the full length mirror.
“Nothing’s wrong with it.. you just look like a dork.” You laugh again, using your elbows to sit yourself up against your pillow. “Where’d you go to get that outfit anyway?”
“Well, Morgan suggested a place that sells workout clothes, and so I kind of may have bought an outfit from the first mannequin I saw. But I think I picked well. I read that wearing a sweatshirt while working out can help with warming up, lead to an increase in blood flow, and can reduce my risk of injury.” He rambles off, working on fitting a sweatband around his forehead.
“You think you’re going to get injured?”
“Well, I have been trying to be more purposeful with working out, but by the end I always feel lightheaded, though that’s to be expected. And, you never know, I may trip and fall on my face. It happens even when I’m not working out. The sweatshirt could cushion me.” He shrugs, turning back around to face you. “Less dorky or more dorky with the sweatband?”
“Definitely more dorky.. but also adorable. It’s very much adorkable, and very much what you’d wear when working out.” You giggle, moving over to the edge of the bed.
Spencer finds himself moving closer towards you, standing right infront of where you sit criss-crossed on the comforter.
“One day that’s going to get old, (y/n).”
“No, one day you’re going to get old and you’ll still be an adorable little dork.” He just huffs, rolling his eyes, but you catch the little smirk before it’s too late. The playful glint in your eye shimmers, and if you were a cartoon character, there would be a giant bright lightbulb over your head. Your hands naturally found their way to his hips, resting against the blue material of his shorts. “..these really are short, aren’t they?”
He gulped, watching with intent as you slide your hands a few inches down from his hips, reaching his bare thighs in less than a second.
“What are you doing, (y/n)?” He breathes out, almost sounding like he’s panting.
“Helping you with your pre-workout stretch..” you mutter, slipping a hand past the waistband of his shorts.
“You’re supposed to stretch your legs before a workout not—“ he chokes on his words, getting them caught in his throat as soon as your hand cups his length, giving it a tug. “that.” He shakily squeaks his last word. You chuckle.
“Are you always this hard before your workouts, Dr. Reid?” You taunt him, hand moving up and down his erection, thumb swiping across his already leaking tip.
“N-no you, y-you, um,” he tries to speak but he can’t get the words right, stumbling over them. You stroke him leisurely, making a show out of sighing and rolling your eyes to the side, not even looking at him as you stay sitting on your knees on the bed before him, getting him off with just your hand. “(Y-y/n),” he stutters in an attempt to get your attention back on his face. He lets out an unabashed moan, sounding downright sinful.
“God,” he groans as your pace picks up the slightest bit. His droopy gaze follows yours, landing on the wall clock.
“What time did you say she was picking you up?”
“Te— oh fuck, ten thirty!” He exclaims, hips bucking forward into your hand as you touch him just right, paying good attention to the man’s balls.
“Hmm,” you hum, thinking carefully about the next step in your plan to absolutely destroy this man. You turn your head back towards him, using your free hand that was squishing and digging into his thigh to push his shorts and underwear down, letting them drop on their own and pool around his ankles. “How many times do you think you can cum in 20 minutes?”
“No, no (y/n).” He protests, shaking his head, but his dick betrays him, twitching in your hold. His hand moves down his body, resting over yours, being moved up and down along with yours with each hasty stroke you deal to his cock.
With warning, a warm, white liquid spurts from his tip, an angry shade of red. His cum drips down your hand as well as his own, making a complete mess of them. He grunts and whimpers through the whole process, the bucking movement of his hips accelerating before slowing down to a stop.
You grin up at him mischievously and in return he just lets out a huff, his mouth hanging open and eyes continuing to droop low. His face looks exhausted, but his cock still looks like it has some kick left in it.
“You want me to do it again—“ he cuts you off, nodding furiously. “Y-yeah, again, please, we have the time,” he whimpers, sounding like a mix of excitement and defeatment.
“Adorkable,” you laugh, speaking in a sing-songy manner.
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gojipink · 2 days
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white lie
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ஐ ft. kaeya
ஐ summary. trying to hide an injury from him!
ஐ warnings. none, SFW. 1.3k words
•─────────•°•❀•°•─────────•
getting home to you and kaeya’s shared apartment took longer than you had wanted; getting healed by barbra after a couple of adventures found you propped against a tree, half-lucid with a bloody gash across your abdomen had really put a kink in your usual schedule.  
you breathe a sigh of relief when you unlock the front door and find that the apartment is still empty, meaning that kaeya was still in his office and hasn't been alerted of your little accident. 
you have never kept anything from kaeya but this? this was different. lately, he’s been having to take on way too much, his desk overflowing with piles upon piles of paperwork while also leading patrol tours throughout the nation. every night he comes home utterly exhausted, barely having enough energy to finish his dinner and give you a chaste kiss before he retires to bed.
if he catches wind of your injury, he'll be sure to go insane with worry and put himself on the backburner in order to dote on you, which you deem completely unnecessary. barbra’s already given you the all clear, just have to take it easy for the next few days and clean your wounds daily and you should be healed up soon enough. besides, you’re strong enough to take care of yourself, there’s no reason for you to burden kaeya with something as insignificant as a minor injury. 
you tried to act as normal as you could. tried to move around the kitchen preparing dinner for the two of you with as much stability as you could muster. and once kaeya came home, eyes slightly wide and breathing deeply like he was hiding the fact he just ran home, you put on your best smile for him. 
“welcome home, love! you made it just in time for dinner,” you beam at him, settling into your usual seat at the table.
he looks around the apartment for a moment before his clear eye finds its way back to you, analyzing your seemingly unharmed figure. he gives you a tight smile while he makes his way into the kitchen to wash up, “you made dinner?” he asks, tone slightly devoid of his usual pep but you chalk it up to him being tired. 
“mhm, just something quick. hurry, come join me,” you smile at him. 
after a moment, kaeya sits in his chair across from you. watchful eyes observing your figure as you begin to eat, his heart twisting uncomfortably as his mind clouds with turmoil. 
kaeya studies you for a moment more before speaking up, “heard you required a healer today, what’s going on with that?” 
you tense at his question, eyes wide and staring down at your food, mind racing to find a convincing excuse. 
“i, um,” you swallow thickly before looking up to meet his eyes, his expression unreadable, “i was feeling a little sore from these past few days so i thought i could just pop in and see barbra. you know, just get a little once-over is all.” 
kaeya’s uncovered eye flash with something indecipherable. confusion? hurt? anger? though, it wouldn't really make sense for him to feel any of these emotions at all, not unless-
“so, you're going with that story, hm?” he sighs out, letting his spoon clink loudly against the side of the bowl as he sits back in the chair with his arms crossed, studying you with icy eyes. 
“i…well, yes, i-” you try to come up with something quickly before he interrupts with a humorless chuckle, 
“can’t say i’m not hurt by your lie, angel.” he says quietly with a sad smile while looking at you with dejected eyes. 
you stare at him, shocked by his words, “kaeya, im not-”
“jean said that you were covered in blood. barbra told her everything, which she then told me before i left work. said you were, and i quote, ‘barely conscious enough to say what happened’.” he said, his tone of voice flat and empty, “but apparently, and this is the part that puzzles me most, it was specifically requested that this incident was to be kept from me.”
“i can explain,” you rush out, quickly moving to the chair next to him, ignoring the sharp twinge of pain that shoots across your abdomen, too desperate to save him from any misunderstanding he’s conjured in his mind.
“kaeya, i promise,” you reach over to slide your hand into his, your heart breaks at the sound of his shuddering inhale, his thumb roughly rubbing the back of your hands trying to mask the shakiness in his fingers, “i’m alright. i’m here. it sounds so much worse than it really is and the only reason i didnt tell you-”
“that's alright, my love,” he interjects looking up at you with a dim smile, “i get it, i'm glad you’re alright,” he whispers as he pulls his hand out of your grasp to stand up and clear off the dining room table.
your eyes helplessly follow his movements, “wh-get what, kae-”
“you must be tired, hm? had quite the day, princess,” his usual easygoing tone forced back into his voice, “ill clean up, you go wash up first let me know if you want help. i'll call barbra or jean if you prefer it.”
you break from your dumbfounded state as you chase after him in the kitchen. arms wrapping around his torso tightly, refusing to let him pull away as he stands in front of the sink bracing his hands against the counter.
“i know you're mad at me,” you start gently, cheek pressed snuggly against his back, your hands pressed against his chest feeling the heavy beat of his stinging heart, “but i’m so sorry, my love. i never wanted to cause you any kind of distress. you have been so overworked, so stressed out, i just didn't want to pile it on.” 
he harshly exhales through his nose as his hands slowly make their way towards yours, gently prying them loose so that he can turn in your iron hold. once he faces you, his fingers come up to brush over your cheek. 
“im not upset with you,” he whispers, his thumb lightly tracing your cheekbone, “i mean, i'm upset, but i'm not mad at you. could never be mad at you, angel.” 
you frown at his dejected expression and tone while you lean into his touch, “i just didn’t want to burden you with it, kae. it really sounds worse than it actually is, i swear. nothing bad happened, i was fixed up really quick! the cut was so much smaller than what the healers thought, it just looked way worse because i was also splattered with monster blood as well,” you hastily explained all in one breath. 
he worriedly chews on his bottom lip as he absorbs your words,  “what about how you were barely conscious-”
“i was just exhausted after the fight, kae,” you clarify, “admittedly it was a tough fight but i was back up on my feet in no time after seeing the healers.” 
he analyzes you for a moment before leaning forward to press his forehead against yours, “tell me everything,” he whispers, “good, bad, mundane or not. i don't care, just don't shut me out, please. you have no idea what-” he stops himself to exhale a heavy breath, “i didn't know what to think. regardless, it doesn't matter how busy i am, how stressed out i am, i want to know everything that happens with you. you are my number one priority, not some group of recruits i just met yesterday. you understand that, right?” 
you nod your head while still pressed against his, “i know, im sorry,” you whisper. 
kaeya pulls back slightly before cupping your cheeks to drag you into a sweet and comforting kiss. 
after a few more tender kisses, kaeya’s lips lift into his usual playful smile, “c’mon, pretty, you must be sore, hm? think we both need a relaxing bath.”
you beam up at him at his suggestion, your bright smile stunning him for a moment as his heart skips in his chest and his stomach erupts into butterflies. quickly, he turns away to lead you both to the bathroom as your giggles follow closely behind him hinting that you've caught sight of his blushing cheeks.
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annakusminaa · 3 days
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Oh Hi❤️‍🩹
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Hey guyssss. So I’ve been gone for a few days! If anyone noticed. Prob not.
So yeah I haven’t been posting for a couple days because tbh I’ve completely fallen off the band wagon. Which has put me down in the dumpssssss. I’m haven’t dealt with binging in like genuinely 2 months. Not that I thought the habit was kicked, but I’ve definitely lost the most amount of weight I ever have by NOT binging within this lil while. Buuttttt then she came for a visit.
Yes, I actually recognize why it happened. Anyone who’s asked me how I do it my #1 RULE OF THUMB is I do NOT fast. It just makes you hungrier and it’s not a good time. Well I broke my #1 rule when I went out to my anniversary dinner with my bf. I fasted for way longer than I should’ve before. (I will not talk numbers due to the competitive nature of issues) ANYWAY, that night i was SO hungry and I guess lost control for these past 2 days. I won’t get into specifics. An old habit I had was always to fast before a restaurant, so I didn’t even really think about it. But yeah not smart.
I am human, I am just like all of you. I fall and when I fall it’s shit but the important bit is to get back up and continue on like normal. I’m not going to beat myself up for it because mistakes happen. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to fast to make up for it, but that’s what got me into this mess. So I will not be doing that even tho I feel as I should, and I will NOT be cutting out any food groups either. All that is just one big recipe for disaster.
Anyway, I always try to be as transparent as possible and show my falls. It’s not all glamorous with me in zkinnyville 💀. As I get back on the band wagon take this pic of my arm. LOL.
ON A MORE POSITIVE NOTE, i finished my 3rd year of uni. WOOOO
-Anna K
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beeslibrarycorner · 2 days
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I was going to say give me the hardest Ghoul smut you could but then that sound weird in my head. but please, anyway. Cowboy hat stays ON during fun time. I want angry. Both of them. Reader x Ghoul. I want to be ashamed to read it in public. Love you❤❤
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WARNINGS: MDNI, SMUT
A/N: challenge accepted, I hope you you read the beginning in public and close it to read at home ❤️
Cooper was mad you were mad, it was this damn heat that settled across the Mojave. The both of you were pent up and frustrated, there was definitely a rad storm coming which meant the markets would be closed for a day
“If you figure a way to get us to make peace again sweetheart I’m all ears” he drawls as he sat on a chair cleaning his weapons across the room. You were fed up with his attitude, and you couldn’t stand looking at him sit so nonchalantly with how the two of you were treating each other over the past couple of days.
“I can fuck you. But it would have to be on my terms” You said and he looked at you pointedly, like he was studying you. “What does that intail?” He asks and you meet his gaze and say“Put your hands behind the chair and find out.”.
“Oh your going to tie me up? I ain’t promising that ropes are going to hold me sweetheart” he says and you grin, “It’s a risk I’m willing to take honey” you tease, His pants and underwear are gone before you straddle his lap and tie his wrists together. “You look so handsome like this” you hum and he grumbles in response.
“Look I’ll even give you your hat” you say as you put the hat on his head. If looks could kill you would be dead as you stood there smirking down at him. With his half hard leaking cock out in the open.
You kneel before him and press a kiss to the side of it, it twitches in your hand. You start pumping, “I have to get you hard if I’m going to fuck you” you say teasingly.
He grumbles at you when you deem him hard enough to fuck him you get up and remove your pants. You straddled him and leaned against him and ran the tip of his cock against the wetness and you swollen clit.
When you sank down onto his painfully hard cock all you do was gasp as you get used to the stretch. Once you were fully sat you looked him dead in the eye and smiled at him defiantly.
You moved up, up all the way up so that when you went up and down it hit your g spot with every thrust. You used his shoulders for leverage as your kept moving down the thick tip and 25% of his cock to keep hitting your g spot. It felt so good, cream running down the exposed part of his cock.
He tried to fuck up into you so that he could get more but every up and down of your hips prevented that. After a few more up and down motions you came hard, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and hiding your face in his neck.
“Did you enjoy yourself?” He asked and all you could do was hum. The rope snapped and before you knew it the two of you were on the floor, with you under his irradiated body. “Let’s try that again sweetheart” he said and pressed the thick tip of his cock into you.
When you felt the stretch all you could do was breathe heavy and look into the eyes of the man above you. You were leaking as he held you close to him, this what needed to happen for the both of you to stop bitching at eachother.
“You’re already creaming on my cock and I haven’t really moved yet” he murmured into your shoulder and you squeezed around him. He sucked in a breath and kept pushing until he bottomed out. Once he was fully seated he sighed.
“You’re so tight, no matter how much I fuck you it never makes a difference.” He said as he started thrusting his hips. You canted your hips up so every thrust hit your gspot.
It was animalistic the way you two were fucking each other, legs locked around his waist as he goes balls deep, tip kissing your cervix.
When he cums in you and you cum all over him you feel the tension and anger dissipate from your body. The both of you lay there in silence, enjoying the body heat the bled from his body to yours.
“I’m sorry for getting on your nerves”you said after a few moments of silence and you felt him smile into your shoulder. “I’m sorry for snapping at you sweetheart, you don’t deserve that” he said looking you in the eye.
A clap of thunder sounds and rain drops reverberate on the roof. Everything is well between the two of you again.
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mosaickiwi · 2 days
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Your Actual First Kiss
@taeee0902 first kiss with redacted fdsjklfsdjalk
14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI
~Your Actual First Kiss~
Hiding their nerves behind his normal cool demeanor, [REDACTED] let you push them down on the couch and lay atop his chest. You’d been getting bolder in the past few weeks of dating and he was ecstatic about it. Still, he always played a passive role as you got comfortable, intent on having you set the pace for every encounter.
You fiddled with the collar of his shirt for a while, then shyly asked, “So… when can I kiss you?”
“Whenever y’want,” came their instant reply. He’d been patient for the moment you were ready, but felt just as delighted that you asked them.
“Right now?”
[REDACTED] blinked for a second, blood warming his cheeks as he muttered, “‘Course, Angel. It’d actually… be my first.”
“Really?” you asked innocently, smiling and leaning down over him.
They knew you were only teasing. He’d never even think of giving their first anything to anyone other than you. The man could feel the redness crawling further up to his ears as you leaned closer.
You suddenly pulled away and frowned to yourself. “I’m a little disappointed it’s not my first, though.”
His blue eyes widened a fraction, though the information wasn’t a surprise to them. Well aware of your past relationships—and all the ups and downs they entailed—he immediately knew which one you were thinking about. “It’s not?” they gently pried, testing the waters of how much you wanted to open up. 
“Yeah, it was a long time ago. The relationship was kind of… messy?” Your brow wrinkled and your tone turned a touch softer as you dwelt on it. “I wish it never happened, honestly.”
He couldn’t voice his own thoughts just yet. Their heart sank at the idea that they couldn’t go back and fix it—to make sure you’d never have such an ill gotten memory that made you upset, no matter how small. It’d be easier to give you a better experience now.
“Then it didn’t happen,” [REDACTED] decided aloud.
You raised your eyebrow and crossed your arms over his chest. “But it did?”
“If y’don’t like it, ‘didn’t happen,” he repeated. He absently brushed a hand through your hair, lingering at the nape of your neck. “Y’can try again with me, yeah?”
“Oh…” The frown on your face quickly melted away, replaced with the shy, devious smile you wore when you pushed him down earlier. “Yeah.”
Lips parted, breath caught in his throat, your ever-patient hacker waited as you leaned down once more to bring your lips close to theirs. He could hardly form a thought the moment they felt your breath, then your warm skin. 
It was everything he imagined it’d be. From how they felt your heart beating in an uneven rhythm with his, down to the way you tasted was just what he dreamed of each night. One kiss from his angel was worth the seemingly endless years of waiting.
As you pulled away—no doubt stealing what little breath remained in them—he followed after, the desperation he normally kept at bay rising to the surface as he held you close with their hand on your cheek. 
“H-how…” [REDACTED] laughed, caught off guard by the butterflies in his stomach that made them trip over their words. “How’s that? Better?”
You bit your lip and he noticed the sparkle in your eyes as you had to fight off your own butterflies. “Perfect, Ren,” you whispered.
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justlemmeadoreyou · 2 days
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babee, could you write an angst about Harry being bullied but he kept it a secret from his girlfriend and one day she ended up seeing him being bullied by his colleagues? and then she helps him and when they get home she asks "why didn't you tell me before?" but then she comforts him and helps him
words: 2.4k
warnings: mentions of bullying, cursing, kissing.
♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡
"Babe, I'm heading out for work. Love you!" Y/N called out cheerfully as she grabbed her bag.
Harry poked his head out of the kitchen, a strained smile on his face. "Love you too. Have a good day."
Y/N leaned in to give him a quick peck on the lips before heading out the door. As soon as it clicked shut behind her, Harry's smile faded. He sighed deeply, dreading going into the office again.
For the past few months, Harry had been dealing with a group of co-workers who seemed to have it out for him. It started with little things - hiding his stapler, moving his desk supplies, that kind of thing. Harmless pranks that Harry tried to laugh off. But it quickly escalated into verbal taunts and nasty rumors being spread about him around the office.
"Hey Styles, where'd you get that ratty tie? The dumpster behind the Chinese buffet?" Andy, the ringleader, would sneer as Harry walked by.
His buddies Marc and Kyle would then chime in with cruel laughter and childish nicknames like "hairy" or "wanker"
At first, Harry tried his best to ignore it, not wanting to come across as weak or overly sensitive. But as the bullying persisted and intensified, it began to really wear him down. He started dreading going into work each day, feeling anxious and depressed.
The worst part was, he couldn't even vent to his loving girlfriend Y/N about what was happening. He was too ashamed and embarrassed to admit he was being bullied at his age. So he kept it all bottled up inside, putting on a brave face whenever he was around her.
Y/N, meanwhile, had no idea about the turmoil her boyfriend was going through at the office…
"Well, well, if it isn't the Idiot," Andy's grating voice rang out as soon as Harry stepped through the door.
Here we go again, Harry thought miserably as he made his way to his desk, avoiding eye contact.
"Having another bad hair day, Hairy?" Kyle taunted, sticking a foot out to try and trip Harry as he passed.
Marc joined in, making exaggerated gestures of tripping and falling down. "Oooh, better be careful! Wouldn't want to take a tumble and mess up that ridiculous mop!"
The three bullies cackled amongst themselves as Harry silently seethed, keeping his head down and continuing on to his workspace. He tried to focus on his computer and drown out their irritating voices, but it was difficult.
A few hours later, Andy sauntered over, Marc and Kyle in tow. He leaned obnoxiously on Harry's desk.
"So Idiot, word around the office is you've been putting in some long hours," Andy said with a nasty grin. "Trying to make up for being such an incompetent pretty boy?"
Harry felt his face flush but didn't respond, staring stoically at his monitor.
Andy continued his taunting. "What, cat got your tongue? Or are you just too stupid to form a decent comeback?"
"Hey babe!"
Harry's head snapped up at the familiar voice. To his horror, he saw Y/N walking towards his desk, holding a bagged lunch with a bright smile.
"Thought I'd stop by and have a cute little lunch date with my hardworking man," she said happily.
Andy, Marc and Kyle immediately stopped their jeering, putting on fake polite smiles as Y/N approached. Harry wanted to die right there on the spot.
"Oh hey Y/N, didn't realize you were stopping in today," Andy said in a saccharine tone. "Always a pleasure to see you."
He threw a conspicuous wink at Harry, whose face was burning red with humiliation. Y/N remained oblivious to the tension, giving the three men a friendly wave.
"Hi guys! I hope you don't mind if I steal Harry away for a half hour or so?" she said brightly.
"Not at all, not at all!" Marc replied jovially. "You two lovebirds have fun now."
Y/N looped her arm through Harry's and began leading him away towards the breakroom, completely missing the obscene hand gestures and mouthed taunts the three bullies were directing at her boyfriend.
Once they were alone, Y/N beamed up at Harry. "Surpriiiise! I know how hard you've been working lately, so I wanted to bring you a little pick-me-up."
She held up the bagged lunch enticingly. Harry felt a rush of love for his sweet, caring girlfriend…immediately followed by another wave of shame for not being honest with her.
"Babe, you're the best," he mumbled, forcing a smile as they sat down at a small table. "Thank you for this."
"Of course!" Y/N replied happily, unpacking the lunch she'd prepared. "Now eat up, I don't want those jerks working you too hard. Oh, speaking of which…"
Harry tensed, worried she was about to reveal that she'd picked up on Andy, Marc and Kyle's cruel behavior. But Y/N just laughed lightly and waved a dismissive hand.
"Kyle was going on about how he pulled a muscle in his back this weekend, such a drama queen. Anyway, enough boring office gossip! How's your day been so far?"
"Fine," Harry lied quickly, keeping his eyes down. "Just…y'know, the usual grind."
And so their "lunch date" continued, with Harry putting on an increasingly strained front as Y/N cheerfully chatted away, oblivious to his inner anguish. All too soon, it was time for her to leave.
"Thanks again for the amazing lunch, babe," Harry said, pulling her in for a loving hug and kiss. "I needed that."
"I'm glad I could provide a little light in your day," Y/N murmured, hugging him tightly. "I love you so much, Harry."
"Love you too," Harry replied softly, dreading having to return to his desk and face his tormentors once again.
After Y/N departed, Harry took a deep, steadying breath and made his way back out to the main office area. He had just sat down at his desk, trying to seem focused on his work, when he was roughly bumped from behind.
"Well, well, if it isn't the Princess herself," Andy's mocking voice rang out.
Spinning around, Harry saw the trio smirking at him, clearly intent on resuming their bullying now that Y/N was gone.
"Can't step away from your little girlfriend for even an hour without getting misted eyes," Kyle taunted. "So pathetic."
"Yeah, we were taking it easy before because the lady was around," Marc chimed in. "But now that she's gone…"
The three closed in on Harry menacingly until he felt backed into his desk, heart pounding with dread. This was not going to end well.
But to Harry's shock and the bullies' surprise, a familiar voice suddenly rang out.
"That's enough!"
They all whipped around to see Y/N marching back over to Harry's desk, fire flashing in her eyes. She had returned after forgetting her thermos, only to stumble upon the confrontation.
"Leave him alone, you jerks!" Y/N shouted angrily, storming up to the stunned trio before Harry could stop her. "I saw and heard everything! How dare you treat my boyfriend that way?"
Andy, Marc and Kyle exchanged uncomfortable looks, clearly not anticipating being called out by Harry's girlfriend. They quickly tried to regroup and reassert control.
"Listen sweetheart, this is just a bit of guy humor," Andy said in a patronizing tone, putting on an unconvincing smile. "You know how it is, we were just razzing Harry a little, all in good fun."
"Oh yeah, shoving him and calling him pathetic names? That's just real hilarious banter!" Y/N shot back, furious. She stepped protectively in front of Harry, staring the three bullies down defiantly.
Though his heart had leapt at her fierce defense of him, Harry also felt a surge of dread and embarrassment that she'd witnessed him being tormented like that.
But there was no deterring Y/N once her protective instincts kicked in. She jabbed an accusatory finger squarely into Andy's chest.
"How about this, asshole? From now on you treat MY boyfriend with respect, or you'll have me to answer to. Got it?"
The three men looked taken aback by Y/N's unexpected anger, exchanging uneasy glances. Andy quickly regained his bravado, puffing out his chest in an attempt to seem intimidating.
"Listen little lady, this doesn't concern you-"
"The hell it doesn't!" Y/N shot back, not backing down an inch. "Harry is the love of my life, which means anyone who messes with him messes with me. You got that?"
There was a tense silence as the confrontation reached a boiling point. Harry could only watch in amazed disbelief as his normally sweet girlfriend transformed into a fierce protector before his eyes.
Finally, Andy seemed to think better of prolonging the confrontation any further. With a snort, he shrugged and turned to walk away, motioning for Marc and Kyle to follow.
"Whatever, it was just a laugh. No need to get your panties in a twist, lady," he muttered in a feeble last attempt to save face.
As the three bullies skulked off, Y/N remained rooted in place, chest heaving with anger and adrenaline. It wasn't until they disappeared around a corner that she allowed some of the tension to finally leave her body.
She immediately whirled around to face Harry, grabbing his hands in hers as concern flooded her features.
"Are you okay? Did they hurt you at all?" she asked urgently, searching his face.
Harry could only mutely shake his head, speechless at the ocean of emotions swirling within him - shame, humiliation, but also love and gratitude for the woman before him.
Y/N studied him briefly before speaking again, her voice taking on a softer edge.
"Babe…why didn't you tell me this was happening? That those jerks were bullying you like that?"
Harry's gaze dropped to the floor, unable to meet the caring worry in her eyes. He shrugged helplessly.
"I…I don't know," he mumbled. "I guess I was just too embarrassed. Letting a bunch of immature pricks get to me like that…"
He trailed off, unsure how to properly  put into words the complicated emotions he'd been dealing with. How could he admit that their cruel taunting and harassment had left him feeling utterly powerless and insignificant? Like he was a useless joke not worthy of basic human respect?
Y/N seemed to sense the complicated inner turmoil raging inside her boyfriend. Gently, she reached up and cradled his face in her soft hands, forcing Harry to meet her tender gaze.
"Hey, listen to me," she said, "There is nothing, absolutely nothing, to be embarrassed about. You were being bullied and tormented by cowards who get their sad kicks out of tearing people down."
She paused, searching his eyes intently to make sure he was absorbing her words.
"You are the kindest, most caring, respectful man I know," Y/N continued. "And I'll be damned if I just stand by while some pathetic losers try to make you feel less than that."
Harry felt his throat constrict with emotion at her passionate defense of him. He blinked rapidly to stave off the burn of shameful tears threatening to fall.
"I…I should have told you," he croaked out remorsefully. "I just…I couldn't stand the thought of you seeing me like that. So weak and…"
"Hey." Y/N cut him off by gently pressing her fingers to his lips. "You are anything but weak, Harry Styles. Keeping something like that bottled up, dealing with harassment and staying strong through it all? That's not weakness, babe. That's courage."
She stroked his cheek tenderly, her loving gaze never wavering.
"I'm just sorry you felt like you had to go through any of that alone," Y/N said softly. "From now on, I need you to promise me - if anything like that ever happens again, you tell me right away so I can be there for you. So I can fight those assholes off and put them in their place." Y/N said this fiercely, protectiveness blazing in her eyes.
Harry couldn't help but crack a small smile at her ferocity, his heart swelling with love for this amazing woman. He nodded slowly. "I promise. No more secrets, no more hiding it. Although…" He raised an eyebrow teasingly. "I have to admit, watching you take those jerks down a few notches was pretty hot."
Y/N tried to maintain a stern expression, but her lips twitched with amusement. "Oh, you liked that, did you? Should I invest in a tight leather bodysuit then? Really play up the whole avenging girlfriend superhero vibe?"
Harry threw his head back with a loud laugh at the imagery, finally allowing the last lingering traces of shame and tension to bleed out of him. He pulled Y/N close, holding her tenderly as he nuzzled against her hair.
"You're my hero, no matter what you wear," he murmured, utterly sincere. "Just…please don't storm any buildings in a cape or anything. I don't think my poor nerves could take it."
Y/N giggled, tilting her face up to brush her nose against his affectionately. "No capes, got it. But I make no promises about keeping those bullies in line if they try anything again."
She punctuated her teasing vow with a slow, heated kiss that left Harry's head spinning. When they finally parted, he was looking at his girlfriend with unmeasurable adoration.
"What did I ever do to deserve someone as amazing as you?" Harry asked
Y/N smirked and poked his chest playfully. "Well, for starters, you can take me out for a fancy dinner to make it up to me. I did just save your scrawny ass from those jerks, after all."
"Whatever you want, my angel," Harry replied. He looped his arm through hers, guiding them towards the exit with a renewed sense of confidence. "I'll even let you pick the fanciest place in town - on one condition."
Y/N eyed him suspiciously, "What's the condition?" she asked.
Harry leaned in until his lips were brushing her ear, voice dropping to a murmur. "You have to wear that leather bodysuit you mentioned…"
♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡
p.s. : if you ever get bullied, please stand up for yourself! bullies are just jerks, they're insecure people who thrive off on calling other people out. please never feel like you're alone, talk to someone.
♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡
tell me if you like this! please reblog or comment if you like, it makes my heart happy :)
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kyydreamies7 · 1 day
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Good Riddance, Feels
kyy note// decided to post this on here since i already got it on ao3!! hope ya like it
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It had been a day. A bad day. And you came back home to your boyfriend, Seungcheol, in a pissy mood. Not like you could help it, right? You walked in and plopped down on your shared couch not saying ‘hi’ or even taking a glance at him.
“Baby?” You don’t respond. He gets up from his spot at the kitchen counter and walks over to your spot on the couch. “Oh, hey.” You say to him, giving him a slight glance and then going back to your phone. “Hey?” He says with a raised eyebrow glaring down at you. “Something happen?” He adds as he starts to sit down next to you.
“I’m fine, stop worrying, please.” You say getting more annoyed by the second, you taking his worrying as nagging. “Are you sure hun?” He asks one last time before walking off completely. “YES. I’m ok! I just said that. Do I need to tell you again?” You yelp out, annoyance filling your expression on your face. He stares at you with an unreadable look. “That’s enough.” You turn to look at him in confusion, your brows furrowed. In one swift movement, he’s picked you up and has you bent over his shoulder carrying you to your shared bedroom with him and throwing you down onto the bed. “You’ve been being extra pissy ever since you have gotten home. I’m can’t with it anymore,”
He says crawling on top of you and giving you a stern look. “Don’t let your fucking bad day at work ruin your day with me, ok?” He says expecting an answer from you. “Yes..” You say all flustered while looking up at him, him getting closer and closer to the point where his lips are only a few seconds away from yours. You start to lean up to kiss him and he backs away with a smirk, your lips pulling into a slight frown. “So desperate for a kiss, huh, love?” He says teasingly as he caresses your face slowly. “You want a kiss?” He asks with a grin. “Yes..” You return in a needy tone. “Beg for it since you’re so desperate for it.” He says in a sadistic tone. You look at him with a needy, impatient look. “Do I really have to?” He nods. “Please, can you kiss me, please, I want it so bad, I want you so bad..” Something looks like it clicks in him. “That’s my good girl.”
He says with a hard grin before he dives down to catch your lips in a desperate kiss. Your tongues fight back and forth, drool slipping past both of your lips. He starts trailing his hands up to the hem of your shirt dragging it up and disconnecting the kiss just to get it fully over your head before going back to kissing you aggressively. A soft moan slips out into the kiss from you, him smiling against your lips. “Were you that needy for me to kiss you?” He says pulling away from you. “Bet you’re practically fucking dripping for me, hm?” He says with a smirk. “Can I?” He says with a slight smirk and a look up at you, he starts to un-zip your black business skirt after your desperate nod, the skirt being way too short for his liking.
He grins up at you and then presses two fingers up to your underwear, the pads pressed up to your clothed entrance. You hiss out softly at the contact, you sending a pleading look to him. “What? I’m touching you now, aren’t I?” He says in a teasing tone. You grimace at him, him laughing at your annoyed look. “Smartass.” You say turning your face away from his and rolling your eyes. He takes his fingers away only to move your underwear to the side, slender fingers starting to rub away at your clit causing stimulation to start at once. “Fuck..! Oh, my fucking godd…cheolll” You moan out at the sudden stimulation. “It’s gonna be a real hard time for you if you keep talking back love.” He says bringing his face up to yours, using his other hand to make sure you’re facing him, him wanting you to keep his eyes on him. His eyes piercing deeply into yours. “Does it feel good, love?”
You nod frantically starting to grip at the sheets beneath you. He then crawls down between your thighs, letting them go on both sides of his head. He then dives down onto your folds, slowly slidng his wet muscle up and down between them. You feel a shiver run down your spine, your thighs starting to enclose around his head as his lapping at your cunt gets quicker and more intense, the immense feeling making the feeling of a rope starting to tighten in your lower stomach. You feel something protruding your entrance, your mind in and out of haze every few seconds. You roll your eyes back and let your head hit the back of the pillows, two of his fingers working you open, scissoring and curling up into you. “Please more..” You croak out behind all the haze, you feeling your orgasm getting closer than ever. “Such a good girl, huh?” He says still fingering you, adding one more finger, the fingering getting a bit more faster than before. He leans up and wraps his hand around your throat and starts squeezing it hard, just not hard enough to hurt you, just to the right amount you can handle.
“My good fucking slut, hm?” He says with a hard grin looking down at your fucked out look. You let out a choked-out ‘yes’ while you try to nod as best as you can with your throat captivated by your hand. He removes his hand going back down to your needy cunt that he was fingering. “Fuck, you’re so wet, love.” He says groaning out. He attaches his mouth back to your clit, sucking and nibbling on the hood of your clit, your folds, anywhere his mouth can reach on your pussy. You grip at his hair absent-mindedly holding and pushing his face into your pussy, you feeling your climax creeping up. He laps faster wanting for you to let go, you bucking up into his face with tight thighs around his head. His fingers are rushing in and out of your entrance while his licking and sucking, you finally cumming on his face with shaky thighs and a loud moan.
You take a minute to calm down from the intense climax, him already standing up from your pussy, wiping his mouth off with his arm then taking off the rest of his clothes and yours as well. He gets to his last article of clothes, throwing it to the floor, and looking down at you, coming up to you. He leans down and kisses you, his lip working mercilessly against yours. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him into you. He pulls away from you panting slightly before bringing his hand up to your mouth. “Spit.” You gather the saliva in your mouth and quickly spit into his hand, him smirking down at you. “What an obedient slut.” He says to you playfully with a grin before bringing the hand to his cock, wrapping the hand with spit around it and stroking it up and down his length slowly, his head being thrown back from the friction. He then lines himself up with your entrance, rubbing his tip against your entrance, you both hissing back a moan. “I can tell you’re still gonna be tight, fuck..” He pushes his tip in quite easily due to your wetness, groaning out a curse. He pushes in all the way, letting out a slutty ass moan whilst bottoming out in you.
“Fuck, Please move..” You let out desperately, him starting to move off of his own instincts. He starts at a steady pace, holding onto your waist while pullign in and pulling out of your tight entrance growling out your name slightly. He starts going faster, his hands gripping onto your sides, the sound of skin slapping starting to echo throughout the bedroom. “Please faster, go faster, please cheolie..” You whine out gripping at the sheets under you, starting to feel warmness in your stomach to form. “You feel so fucking good, love..” He says thrusting in and out of you, head thrown back with moans and groans slipping out of his mouth. “Shit,” He mumbles something before giving you your next command. “Hands and knees now babe.” He grits out, you quickly moving to your next position feeling his hands groping your ass cheeks. He slips back inside of you, thrusting hard in and out of you. “I’m going to spank you, and I want you to count every single one, Understand me?” He looks at you with a hard look. You nod softly. “Use your words, love.” He says pulling your hair back to make you look at him. “Yes..” He smirks at you lovingly. He lets go of your hair and then, lays one smack on your ass, not being too hard at first. “One..” You hiss out. He delivers the next two together while slowly starting to move inside of you. “Two..Three..!” You cry out this time, some tears starting to leak from your eyes. “Take it like the good girl you are, love. I know you can do it.” He says, rubbing where he left the last 3 lashes.
“Two more, babe. Count ‘em.” He says with a smirk. He then hits those last two on your ass cheeks specifically harder than the others. You groaning out loudly, your words stuttering out of your mouth. “F..Four, Five!..” He smiles and rubs your cheeks slowly, soothing the pain there before going even faster inside of you with a grin. “That wasn’t so hard was it, love?” He says with a smirk you nodding hesitantly. You grip at the sheets harder feeling a knot start to coil in your stomach, him moaning loudly from his climax easing close as well. “Fuck..I’m gonna come...Please let me come…” You whine out. He groans out another curse. “Go ahead, come on my cock, pretty girl..” He moans out. With that command you grip at your own hair, feeling the knot in your stomach starting to come undone, you moaning out his name with empty pleas, your volume increasing as you finish off on his cock. He groans out as you come, your pussy tightening around him making him come inside of you with a low groan. “Love, fuck!..” He groans out still moving throughout his high, leaning down and turning your head to his making you kiss him.
He pulls away after a few seconds, pulling out of you slowly then, coming down next to you, bringing you into his arms, both of you panting in unison. “You were so good for me, babe..” He says kissing your sweaty forehead with a smile, you look up at him with a tired smirk. You laugh softly stopping abruptly due to your stomach growling a bit. He looks at you with a perplexed look. “Did you eat at work?” You shake your head ‘no’ with a smile. He opens his mouth, gasping dramatically. He gets up lying you down on the pillow underneath you then dashes out of the room and comes back in with your favorite snack and comes in under the covers with you snuggling up to you, you doing the same.
He picks up the remote on the stand next to the bed and turns on your favorite show, letting it play as you snack and snuggle up to him with a smile. Your bad day far out of your mind, and all good thoughts swarmed in your mind as your naked bodies snuggle up together happily. Good riddance, feels.
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sideprince · 3 days
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I've seen the same post a hundred times now. Sometimes it's a few days old, sometimes it's from years ago, but it's always the same. Some anti posts about how they don't understand how anyone can like Snape because he was so awful, and then there's a long reply that goes something like, "imagine this happens to you, and then this, and then this" to describe Snape's experience. Sometimes there's some James Potter hate thrown in.
Look. You can go through describing a character's entire experience but you don't really need to. Here's the thing that antis don't understand:
For all her faults (and they're big, bigoted ones) Rowling understood a really integral part of the human experience and conveyed it through Snape. Everyone needs love and to feel accepted. It's that simple. Snape became a Death Eater to seek acceptance (Rowling has confirmed this, though I can't remember the source - whoever wants to add it please do), because it was the only way he could find any.
Snape's understanding of morality, like everyone's, is subjective. Some readers understand this and some don't. When faced against a morality that says there is good and bad in the world, everyone makes choices based on their personal experience. Context is everything. Someone who experiences pain and suffering will not see the person inflicting it on them as moral. That's it. 'How can this person be good when they caused me so much suffering?' = human psychology. Most of the people who think 'I'm a bad person and deserve this' have been gaslit and abused into thinking so, because it's not a natural reaction - it's one that has to often be socialized into someone at a young age, exactly because it's not natural. Everyone is the hero of their own story; no one sees themselves as a villain, because they see the valid aspects of their own perspective.
You can write essays on how vulnerable people needing acceptance is what cults and fascists exploit to recruit vulnerable people, or on how the standard anti's un-nuanced reading of Snape both ignores canon and displays a disturbing lack of empathy or compassion, but at its core it just boils down to context. From Snape's perspective he experienced cruelty, therefore the people inflicting it must be cruel. Again, it's that simple. He was a person, like any other, except he was fictional so he wasn't even real. On the flip side is James Potter, who, for all his faults, didn't get to live long enough to get a chance to change and grow unlike Snape, and I think the Snapedom also needs to acknowledge that.
They're fictional characters representing things an author wants to say, not sports teams, not martyrs, and not all good or all bad emblems that define your identity depending on how you feel about them. It's depressing how much time is wasted arguing with bullies and trolls whether from the Marauders fandom or just random antis. I literally can't find more than three blogs to follow without this argument coming across my feed daily. I know the Snapedom is Not OK™ and that's kind why we're all here, and I know that my take is super unpopular but like Snape, I don't care what others think: this fandom has been having the exact same argument for years and nothing has changed. There's fanart and meta and fic and so much content out there appreciating this character, you're not going to change an anti's mind who's deliberately trolling in the tags, so why are you trying? What are you getting out of it? What does it give you? It's exhausting just scrolling past it.
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sn00pism · 1 day
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"Do you have a heart? Within."
WC! Kunigami Renskue x reader
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He was handsome, that you'd give him.
But oh God was he an asshole.
You really hated his guts, at least you thought you did, maybe annoyance was the word for what he made you feel? You couldn't stand rude or mean people, you really didn't get what his problem was.
However, when you asked Chigiri, the Kunigami that Chigiri described was with him in the Blue Lock program was a completely different person than the one you had interacted with the last few weeks in class. Maybe somehing happened to him? You didn't know exactly what but it must have been terrible for him to do 'a complete 180' as Chigiri described. You really wanted to stop paying attention to him, stop interacting with him, yet you couldn't help glancing his way when he entered your shared class.
Something that drew you to him, maybe you were kind of a masochist? Those BL manhwas were starting to get into your head. Daydreaming about this rude guy, built like a brick, mean to everyone but you, traumatised by something terrible. You could fix him. And as much as you wanted to convince yourself you could, it was anything but realistic.
Kunigami looked down on everyone and mostly stayed out of your way when you came over to study with Niko or Chigiri, yet, you found your eyes never leaving his figure when he exited his room, eyes glued to his toned arms and, dare you say, pretty face. Maybe you were delusional, always bringing stuff to share with them and without realising it, getting him something too even if you knew he wouldn't take it. You couldn't help being kind to him even if he proved to be indifferent to you gestures.
Seriously, what the everloving fuck was wrong with you? You'd be better off liking someone like Yoichi from your mandatory sports class or even Yukimiya from english literature, but you had to get your eyes on the rudest, most insufferable guy on campus.
In an effort to completely put distance between you and Rensuke, you stopped studying over to their dorm, opting for going to a small café near campus and changing your seat over to the far back.
As a few weeks passed by, you kind of forgot about your small infatuation with Rensuke. After all, I seemed it was nothing short of a crush.
In this past weeks, you began speaking with a guy in your class, doing some paper on the hero's journey in fiction books, you grew closer quickly and before you knew it, you had a date.
This of course prompted you to talk about it excitedly with your friends, during a break you had from class. And later on, bragging about it to Ryusei, who complained about not scoring a date with Rin's brother of all people.
And as the day came, you found yourself waking up slightly earlier to get ready, your make-up and outfit casual but sweet, nothing too big or flashy.
Once you got there, no one had arrived at the place you were supposed to meet in.
He's probably late, after all you're thirty minutes early. You'll wait.
After twenty minutes had passed from the time you'd agreed on, you began getting anxious, checking your phone for any messages or calls you might have missed from him but none arrived. Deciding to call him up, immediately noticing he had been online a few minutes ago. The call went unanswered, a simple 'sorry, I think we are not a good match.' following up in the message app you had been checking for the last twenty minutes.
Are you serious?
You began to feel stares on you, couples whispering to each other while looking in your direction. Maybe it was your anxiety, but you couldn't shake the sadness that washed over you like a wave, drowning you in self-doubt and insecurities.
Was something wrong with you? Was it that you came on too strong? Were you boring? Weird?
Sighing and preparing to leave, ego bruised and tears of humiliation begining to appear in your lashline, someone sat right in front of you.
A voice you recognized apeaking up over the chatter of the place.
"Hey"
"Come to laugh at me, Rensuke?"you bit you lip, tears threatening to fall. "Really not in the mood now," you looked down, the first tears sliding down your cheeks "Please just go.." you spoke, your voice was barely above a whisper. You seriously felt like just going home and crying while playing a funny Ryan Gosling movie to cheer you up slightly.
"Now why would I do that?" You stared at him dumbfounded, "I'm here to keep you company while I rest." He flagged down a waiter, ordering a piece of your favourite cake and a glass of water, "Besides, really needed some water, forgot mine."
You scoffed softly, although it sounded more like sigh, "You don't eat sweets, what are you really doing?" You looked up at him, drying your cheeks and looking down at you hands. You didn't want to look at him more than necessary, each time you looked at him, your heart began to beat a like faster, but you didn't want to make assumptions that he was here for you, besides, the pain of being rejected and stood up was still fresh in your chest.
Rensuke looked at you, seemingly bored, but never taking his eyes off you.
"Are you done interrogating me?," he thanked the server gruffly, taking a fork and a small piece of the cake. "I was just on my run and happened to see you." he psuhed the fork near you, motioning for you to take the utensil, "Heard you talking to Shidou the other day, weren't you supposed to be on a date?" you took the fork and took the bite, it made you feel a little better.
You looked back at him, immediately noticing that his hair was slightly damp and there was some sweat sliding down his neck and face. "But this place is far from your dorm, you're telling me you went out of your route to get some water?" your heart raced in your ribcage, hoping he had done that romantic thing the main leads do when they realise they like the protagonist and chase after her, but you didn't want to get you hopes up, look where that got you. That was fiction after all, this was real life and the facts are that you got rejected because of whatever reason and Kunigami probably hated you along with ninety percent of the campus population. Your shoulders sagged in dissapointment as another wave of sadness rushed out of nowhere.
"I did, yeah." He looked away, sighing at you defeated state. Maybe this was his fault, maybe he should've said something sooner to avoid this mess. He took a swig of his water.
You looked at him with a small frown, motioning to his half empty glass, "You're free to go then, won't keep you hostage any longer." Kunigami shook his head, looking out the window next to you, "It's fine, I'll wait for you to finish up."
He turned his head towards you bored, emotionless eyes staring directly into yours. There was something different on his eyes you had never noticed before, did he want to say something?
Kunigami found that he couldn't stop the words from leaving his mouth, the feeling of almost losing you because of this stupid date, the fact that his chest ached when he found you sitting far away from him in class, the way he wouldn't see you in the dorms, studying or watching anime with Niko. Before he knew it, he had to come to accept the fact that he liked you. Every small glimpse he could get of you around campus felt like a breath or air on his strained lungs, he longed to find you waiting for his football practice to finish, looking towards the bleachers hoping to see your figure waving at him, but he never got the courage to even accept these feelings. He wanted to erase them, go back to the machine they had designed him to be, cold-hearted, mean. A wall had erupted between everyone and his feelings, yet you broke through it like it was made of glass, and all it took was a smile. Whenever you went to study, you'd buy them snacks, you got him something everytime, even if he never showed any affection to you. Before he knew it, you had him completely hooked. The old Kunigami resurfacing, soft, firm but gentle.
"I came here, because I was worried.. I just.." He ran his fingers through his disheveled hair. "You probably hate me, and won't want to hear what I have to say... but please just hear me out, you can tell me to piss off if you want after I finish." You sat looking at him stunned, you had never seen Kunigami act so different, he seemed almost desperate to say whatever he wanted to tell you. You nodded at him to keep going. This was weird.
His eyes softened "I like you." He dropped his head into his hands, the weight of his words and feelings sinking into his heart, thoughts of you leaving him there, rejecting him, distancing yourself from him even more had his chest thightening. He found it hard to breathe. The glass wall broke, his feelings flooded him like a wave, had you created a gap between you and him because you hated him in the first place? Had he said something wrong? Mean? Had he pushed you away the way he pushed his friends away? The thought made hot tears line in his eyes, breath shaky. He swallowed, trying to calm his racing mind and heavy heart, "I'm sorry, I never wanted to be mean or rude to you, I like you so much."
You blinked, you had never seen Kunigami cry. You reached over to grasp his hands buried in his face, gently peeling them away from his cheeks, warm and wet with tears, your heart raced and a small smile made its way into your face. Kunigami looked up at you, misty eyes looking into your softened eyes, waiting for the blow that would make his heart break again.
"I like you too." The words stunned Kunigami and he shook his head, heart stuttering in his chest against his will. "No you don't, I know you don't..." his eyes watered again, looking down to you joined hands as you reached one to cup his face, "Yes, I do" Kunigami looked up at you, seeing the smile in your face, warm, sincere.
"Then why-?" you didn't let him finish his question, shaking your head and looking down. "I was being stupid, should've told you how I felt since the start instead of playing around." You smiled at him, gripping his hand again, "How about we go and watch a movie? I think that'll be a good first date, don't you think?"
Kunigami stared at you for a second before his lips broke out into a slight smile, eyes full of warmth, heart sighing in relief and happiness. How long has it been since he felt this at ease? Always looking to be better, pushing his limits, withdrawing from connecting with others to avoid getting too close, letting them get too close.
"Yeah, I'd like that."
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it's been a hot minute since I wrote anything in english, let alone fiction. I'm sorry if the pacing is kind of weird, I'm kind of used to slow burn and I kinda rushed this one, I'm sorry!
Thanks to @pinksodacan for being my beta reader and editor! Eternally grateful bub.
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kiwiana-writes · 1 day
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Thanks @cha-melodius and @stereopticons for the tags! I know I’ve done this in the past, but it’s been a hot minute…
How many works do you have on ao3?
239!
What's your total ao3 word count?
822,937—but that’s a collaboration-boosted lie. Per my writing tracker, words that I have personally written and published on AO3 is 693,613
What fandoms do you write for?
Mostly RWRB these days, but the majority of my back catalogue is Schitt’s Creek, with a few others sprinkled in for fun. The Pairing definitely made my brain whirr… we’ll see.
Top five fics by kudos:
With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest), RWRB, 65.5k, the Much Ado About Nothing stage actor AU
Kinda think that I might be his type, RWRB, 12.8k, Alex and Bea fake date and Alex gets a little distracted by Bea’s brother
We were supposed to find this, RWRB, 3.3k, soulmate AU
We always walked a very thin line, Happiest Season, 2.7k, Riley character study/alternate ending
All the Lonely Starbucks Lovers, RWRB, 5.8k, barista Henry repeatedly putting his foot in his mouth in front of his coworker crush
(This is how I learned Puck It has been knocked out of my top five 😭)
Do you respond to comments?
Yes! And absent a Schitt’s Creek resurgence of some kind that sees me absolutely inundated I don’t see that changing.
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Five ways it could have ended (and one way it still could), Schitt’s Creek, 1.2k, for the love of god read the tags
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Like… most of them? I love to end on a good HEA haha. For sheer joy, though, it’s probably With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest)
Do you get hate on fics?
From time to time. I’m very free with the delete button. Weirdly, it occasionally pops up in the AO3 comments but mostly seems to come to me via anons on tumblr??? I have no idea why.
Do you write smut?
It’s been known to happen, I guess 👀
Craziest crossover:
I haven’t written any AO3-era crossovers! A few fusions/media AUs, but no crossovers.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope. I’ve only been asked once, and they wanted to post off AO3 which is a big heck nope for me (and my permissions statement has now been updated to reflect that)
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Heck yeah I have. I’ve done several anthology-type collaborations where we each wrote a chapter in a fic, and I’ve fully cowritten fics with @ships-to-sail several times. We have another collab coming up for @aroyallybigbangrwrb and I’m also cowriting The Big Secret AU with @indestructibleheart which is essentially us one-upping each other on emotionally devastating ideas until someone writes them down. Good system 😂
All time favorite ship?
Stop making pansexuals choose things.
What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Look, the chances of kinktober 2021 being finished at this point are slim 😂
Schitt’s Creek kinkverse… I don’t know. I have little snippets written of future fics and they’re great but… idk. Maybe I’ll write one vignette-y wrap up fic one day.
What are your writing strengths?
Narrative POV, dialogue that feels like the characters, epistolary bullshit, smut apparently.
What are your writing weaknesses?
Coming up with actual plot lmao. Visual descriptors — I’m not even remotely a visual person so I really really struggle with writing the sorts of things people can visualise. Also like… the passage of time? A scam.
Thoughts on dialogue in another language?
Love it. I’ll shoulder tap a fluent speaker if I need an actual sentence/anything Google isn’t super reliable for. Forever heartbroken that there are no fics in my second language in AO3 and no reason for me to be able to sprinkle it into my own writing (though one of the subscriber shindig prompts might be about to change that 👀)
First fandom you wrote in?
HP
Favorite fic you've written?
Stop! Asking! Pansexuals! To! Choose! Things!
I don’t know there are 239 of the bloody things 😂 I’m far more interested in what other people’s favourites are than what my own is!
I have no sense of who’s done this already so apologies if this is a double up but tagging @agame-writes @affectionatelyrs @anincompletelist @cricketnationrise @getmehighonmagic
@happiness-of-the-pursuit @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @indestructibleheart @inexplicablymine @nontoxic-writes
@read-and-write- @rmd-writes @sparklepocalypse @welcometololaland @whimsymanaged and, as always, anyone who wants to play!
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What Tieflings Do Chpt. 3
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Summary: After the takedown of The Absolute, Zelphie finds her city in need of more help and her home destroyed. She won't stop helping, but who can help her?
Rolan x Tav (Zelphie; ~30y.o AFAB, Sorcerer, Tiefling, not really described physically on purpose <3)
M/F
Author's Note: I fucking love tielfings. Along with this being a budding romance/smut/fluff/word vomit fanfiction, it's also my case study in DnD 5e tieflings, how they act, what sets them apart from humans and devils and elves. That being said, I have a few artistic liberties in here as well where I couldn't find a straight answer, if you'll amuse me.
Warnings - Spoilers for Baldur's Gate 3, alcohol consumption. This bad Larry is another fluff. Don't worry! Also, if you catch the easter egg in this one I'll give you one lil forehead smooch.
Chapter One Chapter Two
One tenday spent in the luxurious wizard’s tower in Baldur’s Gate. The shop was still a little chaotic, but it was open for business and Rolan was hiring out for help. He had Cal and Lia and Zelphie, of course, but Cal and Lia and Zelphie were not learned spellcasters. Zelphie had the best understanding of the Weave, but she couldn’t understand conjuring the Weave manually. Rolan would attempt to spend time with her, teaching her how to read scrolls and tomes, but she was absolutely useless. And during their private lessons, Zelphie was usually very distracted with her strongly budding feelings for her teacher. That absolutely destroyed her concentration. Nothing had yet happened down that road, and it had almost been too long for Zelphie to feel comfortable bringing it up. She left the siblings that day to head out into the city. She had a few things to sell and was in the market for a redecoration for her room. Larroakan’s taste was high class but cold and dark. The room was beautiful, but it needed more love. She hadn’t done anything about it until then as she still had a gnawing feeling in the back of her mind that she wasn’t to stay with the siblings. She would get an occupation of her own and allow the family to be one again. It didn’t seem like that was going to happen. Lia would scold her if she ever brought it up.
Old potions and elixirs and small trinkets she had picked up on the road were sold quickly for decent coin. Anything she had that was impressive she donated to Sorcerer’s Sundries to either use or sell. Rolan fought with her on that, but she insisted it being a complimentary rent for now. Rolan still fought with her. 
The streets were still a mess, but a livable one. People were back to life a little. It wasn’t normal, but it wasn’t apocalyptic. After a decent amount of shopping and many compliments from people who recognized her on the street, she headed for some lunch. She hadn’t seen any of the other tieflings since the battle, and she was very ready to see some happy and familiar faces. Lakrissa, an absolute menace of a thief, had gotten a job at The Elfsong Tavern, the nicest spot in the whole city for a pint and relaxation. Zelphie was very excited to see if her friend was there today, and if she had time for a drink. Walking past two hired hands at the entrance, she was met with the most people she had seen at the tavern. Good, she didn’t want any more compliments, she just wanted to be a normal patron. As she made her way to the bar, to order from the barkeeper, Alan, Zelphie stopped as she heard her name shouted.
‘Zelphie! The beautiful hellspawn who saved Baldur’s Gate!’ Lakrissa, the little shit. Zelphie’s nose scrunched as attention in the tavern fell on her. She turned her head to see Lakrissa sitting on a patron’s lap of all places and she was looking right at her, her arm raised in the air. Zelphie got a cheer and shook her head, staring at Lakrissa. ‘The person who buys our hero her first round wins also buying a round for me!’ She announced to roaring laughter. Lakrissa hopped off her perch and walked over to Zelphie. ‘There you are, hero,’ she said and Zelphie sighed.
‘Here I am, thank you for the announcement, pity, you used to be my favorite,’ she said and took an empty seat at the bar. Lakrissa laughed at her. Alan walked over with a glass full of ice and an amber liquid. ‘Hello Alan,’ she greeted the bartender and she gave her a charming smile.
‘Where’ve you been then? I need you to find me that Minsc fellow. Rented a room here after you all left and started fighting for coin in there. He owes me,’ he said and Zelphie laughed.
‘I wish I could say I bear responsibility for Minsc, but I’ll do my best to settle his debt,’ she said and smirked.
‘So, how IS your favorite, hm? Heard you got a room at the wizard’s tower,’ Lakrissa said, sitting next to Zelphie. Zelphie turned back to Lakrissa.
‘I got very lucky, Lia caught me while I was wandering the streets like a tom cat. I could barely stand. My place was absolutely decimated, I’m surprised the tavern is still around,’ she said and took a sip of her drink. Rum. She hissed and looked up at Alan. ‘It’s barely after breakfast,’ she said and Alan just grinned.
‘You are very welcome,’ he said and walked off to help another patron.
‘Come on, tell me, tell me,’ Lakrissa said and shook Zelphie’s leg. She took another sip and laughed.
‘What is there to tell? It’s not like before I wasn’t constantly on the move. I have a big beautiful comfortable bed to sleep in with a roof over my head. I get fed three times a day AND I’m bathing every day. I am living the high life,’ she said and Lakrissa shook her head.
‘Yes, that big beautiful bed, whose is it?’ She asked, leaning in. Zelphie leaned in with her, smirking.
‘Mine,’ she answered and Larkissa scoffed.
‘Either you’re a tease or Cal is a liar,’ she said, straightening up. Zelphie knew what Lakrissa was getting at, if involved Cal. Although nothing had really happened between her and Rolan and she would have liked for something to have happened, Cal was not being subtle at home about trying to get the two closer. She would have loved to be closer to Rolan, of course she would have, but she wouldn’t allow her new home to be ruined by those feelings. She would rather have good friends than anything.
‘Cal is a liar, but who said I’m not a tease?’ Zelphie said and Lakrissa laughed.
‘Oh, there she is. Gods I’m glad you are alright,’ she said and Zelphie smiled at her.
‘The feeling mutual,’ she said softly. The rum was getting to her quicker than she would have liked. ‘How is Alfira?’ She asked and Lakrissa smiled.
‘She’s perfectly fine, a little set back with her big plans, what with the total destruction of the city, your fault,’ she said and Zelphie nodded and laughed.
The two caught up and Zelphie was given a second drink and was quickly feeling silly. Lakrissa was forced to end her little break and Zelphie left the tavern, hungry and drunk. She walked very slowly back to the tower. On her way back, a little gray kitten began to follow her home. Zelphie swayed when she knelt down to pick up the little sweet thing. 
‘Oh hello you little fella,’ she said and lifted the kitten in her arms. ‘You must be starving, come let’s fill that belly of yours,’ she said, deciding in her drunken state that she would adopt this little kitten. It clung to her with its little claws and Zelphie cooed down at it. ‘Oh aren’t you sweet?’ She said and rubbed the kitten’s chin. She continued to walk to Sorcerer’s Sundries and she moved out of the way of a very upset looking half-orc. She stumbled into the shop happily, her eyes and all attention still on the kitten. 
‘There you are, I almost sent a search party out for you,’ Rolan called from the counter and walked over to her happily.
‘Look what I found Rolan!’ She cried happily and held the kitten up. Rolan’s happy face turned to concern as he looked at the little kitten in Zelphie’s hand. ‘He followed me home, isn’t he sweet?’ She asked and Rolan sighed at her, giving the sweet little kitten a pet.
‘Have you been drinking?’ He asked her, not ready to entertain the topic of the kitten until he squared away why her eyes were so sleepy looking and why she was swaying a little.
‘Yes, Lakrissa made me, but I guess she didn’t really because I did it anyway,’ she said with a snicker. ‘Only two rum drinks, but you know me, cheap date,’ she said and giggled and Rolan smirked a little.
‘I don’t know that about you, in fact,’ he said and she giggled.
‘Yes, because you’ve never taken me on a date,’ she said and poked him in the chest. She was plastered.
‘Alright, alright, up to bed with you, come now,’ he said, escorting her upstairs.
‘I said I was a cheap date, not an easy one,’ she said and barked out a laugh. She leaned on Rolan and held the little kitten close to her. Rolan burned red, but would ignore her. He wrapped an arm around her to keep her upright. She was loving that sensation. She was aware that she was drunk, and as obnoxious as she was, she wouldn’t make him angry. ‘Is it okay that I have a kitten? A little familiar? I can’t have a real one you see, I didn’t go to school,’ she rambled.
‘You’re fine, I’m sure with everything you’ve accomplished a cute kitten wouldn’t be much of a leap in responsibilities.’ He said and Zelphie giggled.
‘You do think he’s cute? Oh good. I always knew you were a cat person. All good people love cats. The real good ones, because dogs are all lovely and good but dogs love you unconditionally. Cats, cats are as smart as people and are choosy, so I say anyone who can get along with a cat is a good person,’ she rambled on and hiccuped. She felt his thumb rub her arm and the warmth and comfort of his touch led her tail to curl around his.
‘Yes, I do think he’s cute,’ Rolan said simply. Zelphie's attention went back to the kitten, who was very happy to be held. Zelphie scratched the little one under his chin. He was a perfectly gray cat with a small tuft of white on his chest. He was going to need a bath.
‘We are going to get you all cleaned up my little one, and we’ll feed your hungry little belly,’ she cooed and stroked the top of the kitten’s head. ‘How has the shop been today, and who was that lady who was leaving the shop so angry when I came in?’ She asked Rolan.
‘Oh, I’m very glad you’ve been off today, the amount of disappointing interviews I’ve had today…’ he said, tutting. He was much more comfortable talking about this sort of thing, others bothering him. ‘The last one, she claimed to be a cleric of Helm. More like a Paladin of Cyric the way she bumbled about. She couldn’t even bring a desert plant back to life. I’m not looking for a prodigy, but if your god doesn’t give you gifts, there is nothing I can do for you,’ he said and chuckled. Zelphie shook her head, Rolan was lying. He would only want the best in his shop. Perfection at the bare minimum. ‘We did find a budding wizard. She’s a bit under motivated, but I’m sure with my teachings she will flourish in no time,’ he told her and Zelphie put on a little pout.
‘Ah, so our lessons are all over? You’ve given up on me?’ She asked him and he looked down at her and laughed at her silly face.
‘Not even a little. I’m going to get you to master prestidigitation one of these days, I promise,’ he told her and she smiled. She hummed and looked back down at the kitten.
‘I’m jealous of your new apprentice, you’re a wonderful teacher,’ she said and Rolan sighed down at her.
‘Oh, do not be jealous. If she doesn’t perform, she’s out. You on the other hand, I’m too stubborn to let you quit,’ he told her and she smiled to herself. Was she jealous of this person she’d never met? A little. Would she keep up whining at Rolan? No. Did she want to? Yes. The pair got to Zelphie’s bedroom and Zelphie walked in, placing the little kitten on her bed.
‘Now, that’s nicer than the streets, isn’t it?’ She asked the little kitten.
‘Did you want help with him? He certainly needs a bath, I’m not even a fan of him being on the bed,’ Rolan said and scooped the kitten back up. Rolan did like cats, which was great for him; the streets of Baldur’s Gate were littered with them. The kitten took to him quickly, purring and rubbed his face hard against Rolan’s hand. Zelphie giggled and removed her bag and outer jacket.
‘I would love some help. And it looks like he loves you Rolan,’ she said and walked over to the pair. ‘Did you have cats growing up?’ She asked and Rolan nodded.
‘Yes, a lot of cats. Mother spoiled me a lot. She called me sensitive. I used to hate it when she referred to me like that. Like I was weak, but I know now what she meant by it,’ he said, still enjoying petting the kitten. ‘She meant that I was sensitive to others. Those smaller or weaker than myself. When someone needed my help,’ he continued and Zelphie’s smile grew.
‘Like me,’ she said softly and Rolan nodded.
‘Yes, you have the exact same instinct as me. You understand people who need help,’ he said and Zelphie shook her head.
‘No, no, I mean, I’m one of those people who needed your help and you gave it so freely,’ she said and walked closer, reaching out to pet the kitten. Rolan looked down at her and raised an eyebrow.
‘It was a privilege to help you, Zelphie. I finally had a way to pay you back for everything you have done for me. And my family,’ he told her honestly. She looked up at him and chewed on her bottom lip a little.
‘And when will this help run out?’ She asked him softly and he raised his eyebrows.
‘I don’t know…’ he whispered after a moment. ‘But when it does, I ask you to help me out once more by continuing to stay here. Because you being here, it’s more…a selfish want than a payback,’ he admitted and Zelphie’s eyes grew. There was another little silent moment and then Rolan looked back down at the kitten. ‘So,’ he cleared his throat and Zelphie’s eyes fluttered a little. She had been lost, sweet words from Rolan and two glasses of straight rum were an easy recipe for a mindless Zelphie. ‘Shall we start with his bath in the sink? You can’t get their ears wet, I think we’ll have better control of that in the sink than the bath,’ he told her and she sobered a little and nodded.
‘Oh, yes, yes, that’s a good idea,’ she said and the two walked to the bathroom together. She turned in the tap and walked to her bath for soap to use on the poor little kitten. She grabbed two towels as well, one for the inevitable mess and the other for the kitten. Rolan tested the water and held the kitten under the water, holding his scruff. The kitten immediately wiggled and cried. ‘Oh, no no, it’s okay, it’s okay little one, you’ll feel so much better,’ Zelphie cooed and helped get the kitten wet quickly and lathered up some soap. Rolan used his free hand to stop the kitten from swatting Zelphie. He was getting a few cuts, but was about as stubborn as the kitten was. The bath was very quick. The vermin and dirt and whatever else was in the little guy was removed and Zelphie scooped him into a towel, wrapping him tight. He kept crying. ‘Now now now, this is better, hm? Nice and warm, oh lucky you,’ she said and walked out of the bathroom, cradling the cat. ‘You can watch me take a bath later, you’ll see it’s not so bad,’ she continued to talk and Rolan walked out with her. ‘Thank you so much for helping. That would have been a fiasco if I had tried it alone,’ she said and Rolan grinned.
‘You did most of the hard work,’ he said and she shook her head.
‘Let me see your hand, cat scratches are awful things,’ she said and he gave her his hand with a little hesitation. She reached out and lifted his hand up, closing her eyes. ‘Te Curo,’ she whispered easily and with a cool blue flash of light, the scratches were gone from his hand as was the growing itching sensation he was getting from the cuts.
‘Well, thank you,’ he said softly and Zelphie smiled up at him.
The pair helped the kitten get as dry as possible and Rolan led Zelphie to the sitting room so the kitten could be in front of a fireplace. Zelphie began a fire as Rolan sat on the floor and let the kitten out of his towel wrapping. The kitten took his freedom happily and shook his body of water and took to licking the rest off.
‘I’m glad it’s still light out, he’ll be dry in no time,’ Zelphie said and sat down next to Rolan.
‘He’s a lucky little thing, finding you of all people,’ he said and looked down at Zelphie who smiled. She felt her own tail curl up happily. She scooted closer to Rolan and with all the liquid courage she had left in her system, she leaned against him gently and looked over at the kitten, who was fervently grooming himself. Rolan froze a little, the feeling of her body against his. She had leaned on him earlier because she was drunk. She was still drunk, wasn’t she? ‘H-how are you feeling?’ He asked her softly and she smiled.
‘I’m perfect,’ she said, meaning it. Was there a little rum floating in her head? A little. Enough to be a little sleepy and a little bold. But not enough to ruin her senses. The screams of a kitten in a bath had sobered her up considerably. But besides that, she was sitting in front of a fire, very close to a person she trusted and adored. Watching a kitten groom himself. She had no complaints. There was another moment of silence before Rolan’s arm coiled around her waist, holding her a little closer. Zelphie’s heart did flips in her chest and her tail found his quickly. She felt Rolan’s lips in her temple before he spoke.
‘Yes you are,’ he whispered and Zelphie felt the warm rush again. This time, she wouldn’t let it hang. She turned her head to look at him properly. He was looking right down at her, his yellow glowing eyes, his strong and sharp features. Zelphie wouldn’t remember who moved first or who moved the most. She just knew that both of them had and the pair kissed. Simple as that. Had it been too soon? Had it taken too long for such a simple, lovely little thing? It didn’t matter, it was happening, and Zelphie felt every spark of electricity in her body zap her skin. She refused to break this kiss. She had been wanting to kiss Rolan for a very long time. She felt his hand on her cheek and then the absence of his lips. He placed his forehead on hers. ‘Was that alright?’ He whispered softly and she nodded, a little speechless. He was more than alright, he was everything. She reached up again, needing to be back in their first kiss. A first kiss for lovers, what a dream. He kissed her back and she gave way to a grateful sigh. She felt his fangs against her lips, she could taste him. Her heart was beating terribly quickly.
‘How long have you been hoping to do that?’ She asked him softly, their foreheads and noses still connected. She was no longer drunk from the rum, but drunk from something else entirely. He grinned and nuzzled down against her.
‘A while…a long while,’ he admitted. She giggled in response. ‘Please tell me you’ve felt the same.’
‘Yes, if only you hadn’t hated me so much,’ she said and he laughed.
‘I did hate you, though, I’ve always been a supporter of the fact that hate and love are not mutually exclusive,’ he told her and her heartbeat quickly. He didn’t mean what he just said, of course. He couldn’t have. Love her? Love her. Not like that, certainly. ‘Because I do, I do love you, I cherish you. And I’m a fool for trying to hide it. I only wanted to make you comfortable around me, I…but everyone is so quick to poke and prod at my feelings for you, I wasn’t very good at hiding them,’ he told her. She felt his thumb rub her cheek gently. She could have melted into a puddle.
‘It shows you have respect for me, but you’ve made me comfortable Rolan. I trust you. I-‘ she said quickly and chewed on her cheek. ‘I love you too.’ She finished and looked into his eyes. He was as close as another person could be. She giggled again and he leaned down to kiss her again. Love. Real, trusting and respecting love. She’d never had that before. Love was more than kisses in front of a fireplace, love was bonding, understanding, trusting, wanting, caring. She would count what she and Rolan shared as love. But like lovers, they had that one more inch of feeling. For did she not love Lia and Cal? Yes. Did she love Jaheira and Gale and Shadowheart and Karlach and Wyll? Yes. Rolan was a different love, with that extra special something that made her stomach flip. He was handsome, he had a velvety low voice. He was commanding and mighty stubborn. Zelphie was attracted to him and it was clear, in the very least, that Rolan was also attracted to her. It was very nice to feel him want her. His hand holding her cheek, the other holding her side, holding her close. Possession. She felt fiery. She was all his. She placed a hand on his thigh and she heard him sigh out. She didn’t want to start anything else, but she did want to touch him.
‘Too, too long. You were right. Wizards are stubborn,’ he said and she laughed. ‘I should have done that ages ago, though…I don’t know if it’s stubbornness or the fear that…I was wrong about how you might have felt about me,’ he continued and Zelphie just kept smiling.
‘I’m glad for your new bravery,’ she whispered softly and Rolan took a minute and spoke again.
‘This isn’t all because you’ve been drinking, is it?’ He asked, clearly nervous about asking that. His voice quivered a bit and he was quick with his words.
‘No, but that’s a very kind question. No, listening to him screaming was enough to sober me up,’ she said and glanced at the kitten, who was still quickly attempting to lick himself dry. She laughed at the sweet sight and looked back at Rolan. ‘Like I said, I’ve been feeling a special way about you for a long while now, Rolan. Since the party, actually, back at our camp…’ she said and Rolan’s eyes widened. She laughed again. ‘Well, you were happy and a little silly, it was a very nice side of you to see,’ she said and Rolan’s smile widened.
‘Well, I can’t blame you then,’ he said playfully, Zelphie laughed lightly. ‘But…silly? Mmmm not my favorite word,’ he said and Zelphie laughed.
‘Then don’t act silly when you’ve had too much wine,’ she told him and he chuckled. ‘But you know, I feel very lucky to see a more relaxed side of you,’ she explained and Rolan nodded.
‘If you see me relaxed it's only because of how you make me feel, my dear,’ he told her and she smirked. My dear. It wasn’t the first time he had called her that. It was very sweet, maybe a little too innocent and careful, but too careful was better than too strong.
‘Now that is the best compliment I think anyone has ever paid me,’ she said and he laughed.
‘I don’t believe you, but I’m going to pretend you’re telling the truth,’ he told her and glanced at the kitten. Still going at himself. Poor little thing. ‘What shall we name him then?’ He asked and Zelphie looked at the kitten.
‘Surely Rolan Junior,’ she said and Rolan barked a laugh.
‘No, gods no, please do not call it that,’ he said and Zelphie hummed a laugh. He looked down at her and shook his head. ‘No, I know that look, I forbid it, both you and the kitten will be street urchins again,’ he told her and she laughed. She leaned over and scooped up the kitten who grumbled a little and went back to his grooming.
‘He is as stubborn as you, it appears,’ she said and Rolan smirked.
‘Hush you,’ he said softly and kissed her temple. She leaned back on him. This was very nice.
‘Ronald,’ she said and he laughed.
‘Please don’t,’ he said, his lips still her hair.
‘Rolanda,’ she added.
‘Zelphie.’
Silence passed between the two of them, Zelphie thinking and enjoying the moment, Rolan’s face buried in her hair. What was he thinking about, she wondered. Was he as happy as she was? She hoped he was, for she was very very happy. She continued to think about a good name for the kitten, no more teasing Rolan. After a moment she gasped.
‘What?’ He asked her, as if she had woken him up.
‘Elminster,’ she said and he laughed loudly and looked down at the kitten.
‘That is the most offensive way to honor Mystra’s chosen,’ he said and she grinned and rubbed the top of the kitten’s head. The poor thing was only concerned with drying himself off. Rolan sat up straighter and held his hands near the kitten, his hands beginning to burn hot. They stayed still together and very quickly the cat dried up. Zelphie looked up at Rolan and smiled.
‘Thank you,’ she said and Rolan smiled.
‘Lajy,’ he said simply. Zelphie blinked at him. Lajy was Infernal, Infernal for love. ‘I used love just then to conjure that heat. We should name him Lajy.’ He used love to dry off the kitten, wizards had to use emotions and memories to call upon The Weave, and Rolan has just used love to burn his hands enough. She smiled up at him, feeling as warm and as comfortable as she could be. She leaned back on him and his grip got tighter on her. He held her while she held the little cat.
‘Lajy,’ she repeated and stroked the kitten’s newly cleaned fur. He felt Rolan leaning against her temple again, their horns clinking a bit. Rolan’s horns were incredibly graceful, almost economical in their shape. They were large, but they swept back and up, out of the way. Zelphie’s were less economical. They went up and out. She found it very difficult to lay on her side at night, and with Rolan so close, she wouldn’t move, as if she did, she might take his eye out. They found a perfect position and the nice peaceful moment was only interrupted by the sound of a hungry belly. Rolan would blame it on Lajy.
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My cousin, a published writer, a well-known poet in my country and a literature professor, for whom I've always been no.1 support ever since her first attempts at writing in high school, told me that I must stop writing as a hobby because that's her thing and since I'm writing fantasy mostly my writing could never have any important artistic value anyways.
#what happened was that i was feeling really down these past few days#like mental health dead in mariana trench#and i went to visit her because she lives like 10 minutes away and has a cat i can play with#but yesterday morning a friend of mine made a fanart (i guess i can call it that) of a fanfic i am writing for the five of them#she sent it to me and said she's also working on an actual painting on a camvas of her fave scene from my original story#and i was so surprised and exicted#that's actually a too mild description#and when i was visitting my cousin i showed her the pic of the drawing on my phone and explained it to her and she just said ....ehh..#and started texting someone#i was sitting there feeling stupid and thinking wow you could have at least praised my friend's art sytle or something#and when i was getting ready to leave she asked me if i was aware my writing has no artistic merit and fantasy is trivial literature#so i should just stop wasting time on that and focus on developing my art style more for her future poetry collections#i do the art for her book covers#and added how we already have an established writer in the family so i should focus on my role - becoming a good pharmacist#and she knows how much i hate that i'm studying pharmacy like it's the no.1 cause of me hating the direction in which my life is going#finished it off by saying she feels like what she's doing in going to be really great and important on a large scale one day#and how she wants me to continue being her shadow that follows and supports her#i left went home and started at a wall for hours#i just feel so dumb for getting excited over a silly drawing of something not more than 5 people will ever read#i genuinely hate the idea of people reading anything i write so most likely writing will just remain a hobby for me#and now i feel like the most stupid person on earth and am this close to deleting all my word documents from both my laptops
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starbuck · 7 months
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having one of those Times where on one hand everything is completely fine but, on the other hand, i am drowning and there’s so much to do and i’m at my wit’s end and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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todayisafridaynight · 7 months
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maybe if i play y7 ill be normal <- played y7 four times this weekend, a decidedly not normal thing
#snap chats#'snap how many times can you play y7 in a week before youre tired of it' do you wanna find out together#i had a horrible night last night. ok not a WHOLLY horrible night but something trash did happen and i woke up still groggy bout it#i dont like sulking about the past but sometimes i cant help it and it aint fair to myself to act like i can help it. sometimes.#i gotta be candid just for my sake last night i got real upset with my friend because when i say she tests me She Really Does#and i hate getting angry cause then i just feel like my mom and at that point i figure itd be better if i slipped on ice and broke my spine#generally im good at controlling my temper but everything just testing me and i broke down and it was embarrassing as hell ☠️☠️#so yeah thats gonna bother me for a few days LMAO#'snap it aint that deep' it AINT and thats why its so annoyin cause i KNOW it aint that deep yet i still cant argue away how i feel#all i can do is try to ignore it... like plying y7 for the 11th time.....#i cant ply it now tho i told myself id work on a commission a bit so. maybe later...#i already started another file yesterday- or was it two days ago ???? idk i just know im up to chap 5 in it#chap 5 always give me a damn headache its so LONG at the very least the benefit to having my friend over and raising my blood pressure#is that i start to remember things to do from a y7 speedrun. like i dont hound her on what to do obvi i just let her play#its just lil notes to myself. tho she does tell me to give her tips and exploits when i can LMAO#anyways.. im gonna go work ig and try to feel like crummy bye bye#i wanna stream.. maybe i will this evening before my evening class.. lol.. we'll see but probably not
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#uuuuummmmmm hypomania? bitch what? like huh? huh?????????#fucking hello???? like that's fucking like clearing whats happening at this moment#like i mean. im still grounded but like high energy. notably elevated mood. deminished need for sleep. im like fucking on right now#and but like i really really should not b. like hello?#but like its weird bc like what does that mean? like it happens every so often like too much energy that feels unhinged#but like it doesnt really affect my life too much it just feels kinda wild and upsetting to me bc its like not in control#but like i mean right now this is notable with respect to what i normally experience. like energy higher and mood higher than normal#like its midnight and im not even a little tired after having a fucking week like what???#not looking forward to when this breaks and i crash. but like whats the pattern her? how long has this been happening?#im gonna have to start tracking my mood bc idk i feel like im noticing it more now. like i dont remember this happening always cyclically#and like in the past it usually lasts like a day or ill have a few days where im like high energy but also fried and kinda up and down#but like im not going like full on way way high for long periods of time. but its hard to tell bc i have so much emotional dissonance#like ill have this like frantic energy while im standing completely still and i wanna grin in an unhinged way but its black static down#thr middle. so its like am i happy? and i depressed? fucking idk. im usually mostly depressed i think as a product of being so anxious all#the time. i don't usually go super low out of nowhere. i mean. i think its more linked to hormore stuff but i also think this is as well#idk its weird just. thoughts. i should start tracking my mood and ya kno also probably talk to a doctor#but like im about to lose my parents health care as i turn 26 and also fucking atrocious executive function#issues. like. it feels like my brain has holes in it. or i heard my lab mate say she was worried she had a brain tumor#bc its just like. something is not functional in the way its supposrd to be. ya kno? but like its fine#i mean. its not fine but like its fine#sigh. god im gonna forget to track this shit. like im already like my braun is disintegrating in my skull#can i pls be exused from being an adult while i have some sort of episode lol. but like idk#itll b fine. ive got a level head and an analytical brain and big control issues so i can keep myself on the rails#dispite the trashfire haha. ugh wtf do i do tonight tho. lay here abd try to sleep i guess#hope the mood stays up tomorrow so i dont like collapse into a puddle#ay ay ay. interesting. very interesting#im like a commit pinging around. a pinball bounding of those little pin thingys. ill meet with my boss Tuesday like yooooooo#idk if u havent clearly noticed but ive been a bit ya kno emotionally#unstable ✌️ or maybe ill b back to my normal sad sack self by then lol. idk weird vibes. real weird vibes but good 4 now#unrelated
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niallandtommo · 1 year
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