#what gets me is how im also experiencing an end to what was essentially an undiagnosed chronic condition | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

uninformedartist · 3 months

Text

So hey long time no see, just popping in to say that this video by Official_TVC is bullshit.

So summary + thoughts:

Video starts off with defintions on different types of stalking & they say Vivienne has experienced all this kind of stalking. Then goes on to say its 2 individuals doing this stalking and they we the viewer doesn't need to know them, Official_TVC has done a lot of research on them and we should should trust Official & their word without evidence because apparently they retweeted something on twitter & it was a tumblr post thats supposedly exposed Vivienne's siblings, personal things ect. All this is hearsay by you, it shouldn't make the average viewer trust your word. Yes I've seen things but that was from posts I've seen.

Aside -honestly Official should be questioning the anon asks we get on here, some of the asks contain some questionable info like how do you get that info. People get asks on here containing info, people don't go out & hunt all Vivienne's private life, we receive stuff thats how things come to light, OTHER PEOPLE SEND US STUFF.

All the background of the video is helluva boss/hazbin scenes coupled with music from respective shows. No evidence, not even heavily censored evidence to protect Vivienne, just Official_TVC talking & basically saying "trust me bro I did research, believe me". This is heinous accusations, individuals you are talking about & you give nothing. It could be lies for all people know, I don't even believe & I've seen the things you're referring to.

Continued, the stalkers, the 1st one is a "troll" according to Official_TVC & the second is supposedly so bad they were quote " has been 15 ft from vivziepop", no backing on that 15ft statement, Official_TVC just states this. All this stalking, entire pages made is because of a ship. Leaking show stuff (aside again, is GIVEN TO US VIA ANONYMOUS ASKS).

They carry on to say essentially all this hate talk on Viv on YT is cos she's popular, they got nothing of meaning to say on Viv cos they hate her so much they can't talk about her positively. They then mention a person has a never ending stream that just feeds misinformation other YouTubers & quote "on the precipice of wanting to strangle a woman (Viv) who made the crime of making demons gay". Wtf does that mean, who has this never ending stream of feeding misinformation to other YouTube, who & wtf are you talking about.

Anyway, goes on to compare spindlehorse workplace allegations to Amazon (yes ironic) & how Amazon treats its workers really bad... do I need to say more. Goes on to say everyone ragged on Viv because hazbin hotel is on Amazon, Amazon is bad & quote by Official_TVC is cos "everyone looks for an excuse to hate". Ok now I'm giving evidence on why people ragged on Viv for prime since you give jackshit.

Amazon/prime is currently being boycotted, its on the bds list why people were saying to pirate hazbin. Not some bullshit reason Official gave on it being mindless hate. Here is a video explaining why people are boycotting Amazon:

Vivienne also like this post from a fan, do I need to spell out how fucking disgusting this tweet is and the fact that she liked it.

Official carrys on to say stalker 1 did 3 things, doxxed Vivienne, & in their words if you go to said person's page Official states "im pretty sure they know where vivziepop lives". That is speculation, thats your opinion cos no evidence is provided or can be for that matter cos this is what YOU think. Dropping as Official says "nuggets" of info on Viv's siblings University, their work (this info was from a sibling's linked in page, public info). Can I say aside, I know her sibling's names. Why, not from stalking but from them leaving comments on Viv's speeddraws and Viv publicly naming them on her PUBLIC socials. And if you know someone's name you can easily find out what uni they went to, if you know my name & search me up you know what uni I go to its in the public on their linked in, social posts ect.

They go on to talk about how terrible leaking Viv's shows are, which idgaf. Amazon is a zionist corporation I'm pirating anything of Vivienne. Even invincible which I love, pirated it. Fans should too (since I see a lot of fans with free palastine in bio but still pay for prime). Anyway thats on them.

TW: talks of sexual harassment. So Official doesn't want to give more info on this individual which I respect & understand. However they say stalker 1 is sexually harrassing this person, sending content of a sexual nature all because the victim in this situation didn't agree with stalker 1 on the stalker's sentiments on hazbin hotel. I understand protecting the victim but my soul you're literally protecting the perpetrator. Expose them, you keep staying stalker 1 & 2 CALL THEM OUT. Protect the victims but expose the perpetrators.

They go on to stalker 2, who know stalker 1. Stalker 2 supposedly went to the hazbin premiere. They were there to keep an eye on vivziepop Official quotes. No evidence of this quote or info just them relaying it. Again this is all your words against what. Yeah that is concerning it really is but substantiate this evidence & quotes. This is the 1st time I'm hearing about this so I would like to know more on this & this heinous person. But you don't give any evidence. Official says " these people need to be stopped", how can they be stopped. You give no names, no info or evidence, its wishful thinking you saying this. I'm harping on and on on about Official gives no evidence but its so flipping frustrating hearing them spout all this WITH NOTHING to back their words.

TW again: Mentions of suicide and Shay a fan bullied by the fandom who then took their own life. Know a lot of people are still saddened by what led to Shay's passing why I mention this.

Official says stalker 1 is using the death of Shay to entice fruther harrassed on Vivienne. Its "apparently now", huskerdust fans went after Shay with heinous harassment & Shay subsequently ended their life, may they rest in peace. Official claims stalker 1 says Vivziepop is directly responsible for Shay's death. Shay's death was worded as "apparently" but stalker 1 using Shay's death to pin it on Vivziepop is stated as a fact. How disgusting can you be someone died & its apparently so to you but your word of mouth should be considered fact, fuck off. Official then goes on to say... sighs quote "we do not hold politicians accountable when they massacre people of other countries... bloodlines don't exist but we don't blame the politicians pushing the buttons".

Ok wtf, yes we do we blame Biden & other politicians & presidents for pushing the figurative & literally buttons on massacring Palestinians & other minorities, WE DO so wtf are you talking about. I honestly hate Official at this point because wtf are they saying. I don't blame vivziepop on Shay's death, even though when there was attempts to reach Vivienne on what was happening to Shay, maybe the channels they used like email didn't get the message across unfortunately. What I absolutely hate is when fans, like official now use Shay's death as a pawn in relation to people hating on Viv. No one that I've see & I'm saying it now I know who these stalker 1 & 2 are not even they were as disgusting as Official & fans to use Shay's death as to further hate on Vivienne. What Official_TVC is saying is bullshit.

And I disregard everything Official_TVC says after they hearted this comment, fuck you Official_TVC for hearting this vile comment.

I link a screenshot of the outreach to Vivienne via email on Shay aswell as the document on Shay's.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSfCoyn81fp83pycx5eyS4oxryRpFnVnHdEeyEyouigrKSWAZ5iEgTjt7Q63n68S_PcZK7_klB-9dH1/pub

In all this video is a load of nothing, bullshit actually & just vile on the parts of Shay. They ended of once again reiterating they won't give proof because people just want names & evidence for the tea/gossip & they want to protect Vivienne, shoo shoo. Again trust me bro, I did the research so trust me.

I want to reiterate I condone no actions if provided true on stalker 1 or 2. But from what I've seen of them is all out of context, lies spread by the fandom & things just made up down the grapevine. I don't do this for likes, clout or other bullshit the fandom says. Wouldn't be of me on my nature and the work that I do. Come with substantial evidence, then we discuss & make conclusions but for now

...

I hate Vivienne and this fandom, bye all.

#vivziepop critical #helluva boss critical #spindlehorse critical #my post #hazbin hotel critical #helluva boss criticism #helluva boss fandom critical

109 notes · View notes

desire-mona · 2 months

Note

Could I ask for a mini ramble on why Keating is your favourite character? Poised with a notebook and pen to take down notes haha

YES!!!!!!!

BECAUSE NOBODY EVER TALKS ABOUT HIM AND THATS HONESTLY SO RUDE!!!!!!!

so like. keating; let's talk about that

we desperately need to acknowledge that keating is an amazing man right down to his core. he is so passionate about living life in a way that makes him feel fulfilled that he makes it his main goal to teach others how to do the same.

he experienced the same exact thing as the poets, remember, the movie makes a big deal of how nothing at welton changes. he had the same exact oppressive environment growing up as they did, so he knew exactly how to connect to these boys.

HIS INTENTIONS AND ACTIONS WERE NOTHING BUT PURE, AND THATS WHAT MAKES HIS ENDING ALL THE MORE DEVASTATING.

every single one of his peers and superiors fully believed that neil's death was keatings fault, and actively shunned him for it. not a singular person that wasnt a Teenager in his community understood what he was trying to do. welton painted the narrative that keating taught these insane useless lessons about breaking the rules BUT NEED! I! REMIND! YOU! HE MADE A PRETTY BIG EMPHASIS ON THE FACT THAT U GOTTA BE SMART ABT IT! he called out charlie for the call from god thing for a reason!!

another crazy devastating thing abt keating + neils death is the fact that neil was understanding exactly what carpe diem mean's IMMEDIATELY. AND WAS ACTING ON IT!! he pursued things that he knew would make him happy and fulfilled in the long run, he knew what he wanted to do with his life and he took the first opportunity to get it. the exact fucking definition of seizing the day. keating was REACHING THIS KID SO WELL!! HE WAS UNDERSTANDING EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS SAYING!!! AND THEN!!! AND THEN!!!!!!!!!!

so imagine this. you grow up in the most rigid, boring, unchanging environment and decide fuck it, im gonna Do Something for Myself for Once. you start to think oh, this is actually kinda sick, doing things that make me happy. you escape the environment that aims to essentially make these Children into what their idea of successful is. (quick reminder that there are actual children also attending welton. like kids. like 9 year olds n shit.) you actually chase after every opportunity to be what your idea of successful is, and were so passionate about that way of living that you learned how to teach others how to do it. and also poetry and stuff.

so youre doing exactly that, you finally got to a point where youre doing exactly what you wanna do, and teaching these kids in a situation just like yours. and its going SO WELL! there's this one kid who just GETS IT and is doing it flawlessly and then - oh !

and now everyone around you is like um wtf this is your fault actually. SO YOU HAVE TO PROCESS THE FACT THAT YOUR STUDENT IS DEAD ON TOP OF HAVING TO RELIVE THE ENVIRONMENT YOU HATED AND ACTIVELY WORKED AGAINST YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. AND NOW YOU HAVE NO INCOME OR COMMUNITY OR HOME OR FRIENDS. AND THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT KNOW YOU ARENT A MURDERER ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18. AND YOUR WIFE LIVES IN ANOTHER COUNTRY. OH AND ALSO YOUR RESUME IS RUINED AND ITLL PROBABLY BE PRETTY HARD TO FIND ANOTHER JOB IF YOU CAN AT ALL.

AND YOU HAVE CANCER. HE HAS CANCER IN THE OG SCRIPT.

keating is my personal description of raw devastation. all of who you are and what you wanted to be is in shambles because of something that isnt your fault. but almost everyone around you thinks it is your fault. and we're just gonna move on from that? thats it? thats the end of the story? no more keating after that?????? downright evil. more people gotta talk about this wonderful man!!!!!

also very sorry if this makes no sense, im quite high. but also shameless self promo pls interact with my ask blog @ask-captain-keating bc i lob running it. pleags. ily for asking this btw!!!!

#desire mona #media #GOOD LORD THIS WAS FUN!!!!#YAAAYYY #THANK YOU FOR THE ASK THANK YOU YHANK YOU!!!!#I LOVE TUMBLR #dead poets society #john keating #neil perry

26 notes · View notes

fanaticsnail · 23 days

Text

Daughter of the Sea: Chapter 3

Masterlist Here, Header Masterlist Here

Word Count: 4,500+

Synopsis: Being called to a small island in the east blue, you enjoy a day out with your five-year-old niece. Her line of questioning has you question some moments yourself, your checkered past revealed to her in no uncertain terms.

Themes: Unrequited requited love, slow burn, long fic, long distance relationship, friends to lovers, found family dynamics, love over time, (smut, mdni 18+, NSFW - chapters will be marked accordingly), love-making, angst, hurt, gendered terms used, swearing, adult language.

Notes: Benn Beckman x f!reader, platonic!Mihawk x f!reader, platonic!Shanks x f!reader, slight mention of MiShanks ship, Beginning: Shanks is 19, Mihawk is 23, Beckman is 30, f!reader is 22, Uta is 2 months old for the sake of the plot (canonically she's 2 years old). The f!reader is suggested to be native to Kuraigana with her mannerisms and language.

Tag List: @sordidmusings @i-am-vita @since-im-already-here @mfreedomstuff @gingernut1314 @feral-artistry @writingmysanity @indydonuts

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

The next three years flew by, each of you experiencing the time catching up with you. Uta was now a small five-year-old, Shanks was no longer a teenager, and you were rapidly approaching your thirties.

Each time you were called to get an update on your niece, you smiled at the information given to you. Benn Beckman was always on the other end of the transponder, his yearning and longing from afar only growing in fondness for each moment that stretched between you.

He had begun sending you trinkets alongside his letters: a shell from the Red-Force's new birth port, a small bottle of rum he purchased to drink with you of an evening over the shell. He'd send you pressed flowers, sweet-smelling perfumes, and he'd even begun sending you jewelry.

He would never explain the gifts to you, just uttering a simple: “Uta said you needed it,” or “Uta wanted to buy it for her ‘Pretty Aunty'.” You had an inkling that Beckman was using Uta as an excuse to buy you pretty things, but chose to remain silent. Considering Beckman had never lied to you, you couldn't quite gauge how he was able to do so now.

Mihawk had also opened up over the years, sending several gifts here and there for Uta, all symbolic of Kuraigana and who he was to her: her favorite uncle from the land of gloom.

It was well past ten o’clock in the evening when your personal shell shook with a lively bounce, prompting you to get out of your settled position in your bed suite and gather it. After placing it in your ear, you were not expecting to hear soft sobs falling into the receiver end of the call.

“Pretty Aunty?” a small voice whimpered from the other end. You immediately sat upright in your bed, glaring at your wall as you answered.

“Uta, is that you my love?” you asked her. She responded with a soft sniffle, biting back a sob as she continued to talk into your shell.

“C-Can we have girl time?” her soft song called on your heartstrings, prompting you to begin readying yourself to flee from Kuraigana to come to her aid.

“Sweetheart, where are you?” you asked her, slipping out of your nightdress and pulling on your traveling clothes.

“It's in the east-blue,” she whimpered into the mouthpiece, “Dawn Island, Foosha Village in Goa Kingdom.”

You began gathering a satchel bag, hurriedly placing a few of your essentials within the canvas and slinging it over your shoulder, “Talk to me, Uta. Tell me what's going on so I can get ready to see you.”

“I just miss my favorite pretty aunty,” she wailed, “And I want you to be here with my favorite uncle. I want you both together.” You hesitated, looking at your clock face to read the time and current date.

“Oh, sweety. I don't think Mihawk will be back-,” you attempted to relay while fastening your shoe, but Uta never gave you the chance to finish that sentence.

“-Not Uncle Mihawk,” she sniffed, hardening her resolve, “I want you with Uncle Beckman. He misses you so much, and it's really hard to watch.”

You dropped your shoe, your foot falling onto the floor as you adjusted your earpiece. Hastily recovering, you slung your satchel over your shoulder.

“Gorgeous girl, I don't know what you-,” you began, again halted by Uta's hardened determination.

“-He misses you so much, Pretty Aunty,” she hurriedly spat. Taking a moment to collect her thoughts, she inhaled through her nose and continued, “He thinks about you all the time. He always asks me what I think you'll like, and makes me choose things to buy you.”

You smile at this knowledge, shaking your head before collecting your thoughts and relaying your words.

“Oh, sweetheart,” you hummed at her, sighing and shaking your head, “Uncle Becks and I are very good friends. I miss him too, sometimes.”

“Then why don't you come with us?” She whined, “Why do you always stay with Uncle Hawk all the time? Are you and Uncle Hawk married? Captain Shanks says the only way a pirate makes a home on land is sometimes when they find someone they like enough to marry.”

You bit back the urge to laugh, struggling to contain a few escaped snickers.

“Sweet pea,” you inhaled a deep breath, “Uncle Hawk is the world's greatest swordsman. He stays here at Kuraigana to hold that title, and because it's his home.”

“Did you marry Uncle Hawk, Pretty Aunty?” she asked sternly. You could tangibly feel the holes she was burning into you through the transmitter, the rage of the five year old physically scorching you.

“Uta, I work for Uncle Hawk,” you informed her, calmly, “I live in Kuraigana with him to make sure he's safe. Also, between us girls,” you draw the mouthpiece in closer, “Uncle Hawk gets very lonely.”

“But I’m lonely,” she uttered with somber defeat, “There's only men here, and I need girl time!”

You giggled, taking out a piece of parchment from your desk drawer, and hastily scribbled on tanned note paper.

“Okay, sweetheart,” you finally inform her, “If I sail for two full days, without any sleep,” you smiled into the snail, “I’ll be in Goa Kingdom before you know it.”

“Yes!” She exclaimed gleefully, “I'll tell Captain Shanks! I'll tell the crew! Uncle Becks will finally stop being so sad all the time!”

“Uta, please,” you hurriedly attempt to snuff out the growing embers of her joy, “You can tell Captain Shanks, but can we try to keep it a surprise?”

“Oh, like a secret?” Uta asked you, her curiosity ticking up in her cadence.

“No, sweety,” you giggled, “Secrets are to be held forever, surprises are to be revealed later.” She hummed at that explanation, opting to instead elevate her spirit once more.

“Okay, okay, Pretty Aunty,” her voice began buzzing once again in excitement, “We’ll be in Goa for maybe another week. I am so happy you're coming!”

Making your way to the front door, you hung your note depicting your absence from Kuraigana to Mihawk should he arrive back to the high-keep before you. Exiting the castle, you readied your personal sailboat and began the tireless journey of traveling, sleeplessly, for two full days.

In those two full days, Uta had never been so excited. The entirety of the Red-Hair crew noticed the subtle jump in her step, the hum in her voice and the smile on her lips. By the time midday managed to hit its peak, she rushed down to the docks with a thundering pace.

“Oi, Uta!” Hongo called after the child, immediately turning from his reclined position and racing after her. It was his turn to watch over the child, and this was a job he took absolutely seriously considering her tendency to sprint.

It was no use calling after her, Uta picking up her pace and propelling her body like a cannonball fired from a barrel. Hongo was breathless when he reached the peer, his eyes widening when Uta jumped into the arms of a crouching woman, hooded and cloaked.

“Pretty Aunty!” Uta cried, burying her face in the crook of your shoulder and sobbing loudly.

“Gorgeous Girl,” you hummed down at her, your eyes closed and lifting her to your standing height, “You're getting so big now, but I can still lift you like this.”

Uta continued sobbing into your shoulder, her smile burried against your neck as you soaked in her embrace. Fighting back a release of emotion yourself, you gulped back your sob and opened your eyes to see the shocked face of the Red-Hair Pirate, Hongo.

“Doctor,” you hummed at him, your sultry voice smiling at him.

“Secretary,” he blinked back his surprise with a small smirk, “Captain know you were coming?”

“I'm not certain,” you admitted, looking down at the emotional child in your arms, “Sweetheart, did you tell your Captain I was coming?”

“Mm-mmm,” she shook her head in denial, “A surprise.” You sighed an “Ah,” in response, smiling back up at Hongo.

“Evidently not, Doctor,” you nodded with a soft shrug, “Why don't we go and tell him all together, hm?” Uta nodded into your chest, kicking her legs lightly and wriggling in your arms.

“Let's go!” She squealed, grabbing at your hand and prompting you to hurry after her. Hongo huffed out a soft laugh, shaking his head and trailing behind you.

As you approached the tavern at the top of the hill, laughter and clinking of glasses reverberating within the wooden walls. Uta released your hand, rushing in towards her red-headed adoptive father and tugging at his white shirt.

Shanks lay leaning on the bar, laughing at a joke told by Yassop and clapping him on the shoulder. He turned down to the child, who clutched at the base of his shirt and yanked for him to stoop to her level.

You took a moment to look around the tavern, noticing a green haired hostess scuttling around the room and tending to collecting tankards and empty bottles. You turned to see Lucky Roux diving into a large smoked lamb leg, Hongo tapping him on the shoulder and informing him to slow down to ease digestion.

Several of the red-hair crew were scattered, all men entertaining a coupling counterpart aside from both Yassop and Shanks who remained conversing with Uta. Your gaze scanned over the room, finally halting on the burly figure of the man you had conversed with for the past five years.

Beckman hunched his body against the wall, his arm extended over his head as his eyes twinkled with flirtatious mischief. A woman coyly batted her eyelashes, hiding her giggle behind her hand at Beckman's words. He reached forward, tucking her hair behind her ear, an act that the woman playfully swatted away with her lips pursed in mischief.

You shook your head with a soft smile, looking to your toes before turning your attention towards your adoptive niece and approaching her father in a slow and steady step.

“Captain Shanks,” you uttered in a low voice, his head immediately spring up from Uta with his left hand clutching Yassop’s shirt.

“P-Pretty lady,” he stuttered out, his body lunging forward. He staggered in his movements, collecting your left cheek in his right hand with his calloused thumb tracing a soft circle over your jaw, “Y-You’re here? Why are you here? Did something happen to Hawk-Eyes? Is he okay-?”

“-He’s fine, Captain,” you hushed him, raising your left hand to collect his right, “He's away from Kuraigana presently, off collecting some easy bounties to add to his hoard of treasures and to keep his skills sharp,” you removed his hand from your cheek, continuing to clutch it within your own, “And he's doing remarkably well.”

“Oh,” Shanks sighed in relief, before furrowing his brows in confusion, “But if he's thriving, why are you here?” Understanding his chain of reasoning, you smiled with tight lips before leaning in towards his face.

“Uta called me on my personal transponder,” you uttered, pressing your lips against his cheek in a chase kiss, “Said she needed ‘girl time’ with her favorite aunty-.”

“-That’s not what I said!” Uta cried in frustration, breaking you both away from your trance and glancing down at the pearl and ruby-haired child.

You softened your smile, pulling away from Shanks' cheek and crouching down in a low stoop to greet Uta. You claimed the young girl’s hands within your own, nodding to her for clarification. She gulps back her courage, hardening her features and grimacing.

“I said I needed my Pretty Aunty to have girl time,” she pouted, glancing between your eyes and Shanks’ hazelnut orbs, “And that she needs to see Uncle Beckman because he's lonely and sad.”

Both you, Shanks and Yassop drew your eyes over to Benn Beckman as he stooped down to whisper into his companion’s ear. The three of you raised your eyebrows, all exchanging knowing glances between you as you watched his descent.

As Beckman collected the woman's lips beneath his, her willing lips smiling against his as the kiss lingered on. Eyes widening at witnessing Beckman’s flirtatious advances collect it's due reward, you looked down at your niece who was glaring at him with utter anger.

You shook your head at Uta, darting your eyes between hers and softened your expression further, turning her chin to meet her gaze. She continued to pout, frowning deeply at you.

“Seems Uncle Beckman is not as lonely as you thought, sweet pea,” you giggled at her while scrunching your nose, “What would you like first?” Uta, her orbs looking up at you through thick red and white eyelashes, looked hopefully up into your eyes.

“He told me he missed you!” Uta growled, looking to her dad, “Did Uncle Beckman lie to me? I thought he liked Pretty Aunty! He told me-.” You waved your hands, regaining your niece's attention with your genuine smile.

“-What do you like to do on this island?” you asked her, tucking her hair behind her ear and giving her a playful dab on the nose, “I haven't been here before, and I would love to see some of the sights.” Uta lost her train of thought, eyes now filling with hope.

“Can we go to the salon?” she squeaked out rapidly, “Do nails and hair? Maybe some makeup? Can we go shopping, get snacks and clothes? Can we-?”

“-Uta, please!” Shanks huffed out a loud laugh, “Your pretty aunty has only just arrived, let her rest a bit before shooting questions at her.” You laughed alongside him.

“Truthfully, Captain,” you rose from your crouch to meet your smile with his own at eye level, “I came here knowing what I was in for. With your permission, may I take my niece for the remainder of the day?”

“By all means,” he smiled at you, gesturing to the door with his right hand, “Enjoy what's left of the sun. And you,” he snapped his head over at Hongo, “You owe the lady your gratitude for getting out of uncle-duty, Hongo.”

Hongo closed the gap between you, collecting your right hand in his right and stopping down to place his lips on your knuckles. You felt his gratitude from the lengthy kiss he pressed against you, finishing the first kiss with three rapid kisses to follow in its stead.

“Thank you,” he mumbled against your knuckles, his warm breath tickling your skin.

“Go and have a drink, doctor,” you suggested, “You've earned it after that quick sprint.” He rose from his stoop, eyes meeting yours with a soft smile as he released your hand. You quickly turned to see Shanks and Uta in a soft embrace before she ran to your side.

Reaching out your hand to her, you quickly wave to Shanks, Yassop and Hongo before leaving the bar; just as Beckman and the woman on his arm approach to get another round of drinks.

Beckman ordered his usual beverage, and something similar for the companion who said she could handle it. Relinquishing a small wad of Berry, he reached for the drinks and clinked the rim against hers. While she looked towards her friend, who was currently seated on the lap of Limejuice, he noticed Hongo drinking a shot of tequila with Yassop and Shanks.

“Hongo,” his gruff voice called over to them before turning to the lady at his side, “Sorry, doll. Would you excuse me for a moment?” She shrugged him off, enjoying a sip of the drink and feeling the subtle burn in her throat.

He immediately marched over to the doctor, his hand cupping his shoulder and turning Hongo to face him.

“Steady on, Beckman,” Hongo frowned, shrugging off his arm and raising the short glass to his lips, “What's gotten into you?”

“Where's Uta?” he barked lowly, his gaze pointed and accusatory, “You were on next rotation, where is our niece?” Shanks placed his right arm over Beckman's forearm, drawing his attention to the redhead instead of the doctor.

“She's safe, big guy,” Shanks smirked, gesturing for another round for the three of them, “She's in very capable, and extremely attentive hands.”

“If you've palmed her off to the woman in Mount Colubo for the day-,” Beckman threatened, Shanks laughing into his shot-glass, downing the drink in a single gulp.

“-Absolutely not, Becks,” Shanks finished his drink, ordering another with salt and lemon this time, “Someone made the trip especially to see her here. Someone you affectionately refer to as ‘Darlin’,’ when you call her.”

Beckman dropped his glass, the container shattering at his boots as his mind raced with several questions. The ones eclipsing the more mundane: ‘how did you get here?’ and ‘is everything okay with Mihawk?’ were of ‘did you see him flirt with another woman?' and ‘did you see him kiss her?’.

“She saw, Becks,” Shanks broke him from his trance, prompting him to look up as his captain began sweeping at the glass by his feet with a wicker broom, “You've spoken of your conquests in the past with her, why should seeing it in action be any different?”

“Because I don’t want her to think less of me-...” he quickly stifled his words, wincing as his captain's grin spread up his lips as fast as lightning.

“Oh, Becks,” Shanks taunted him with a slow mock, “I thought you had a little crush, but come on man. It's been years!” Beckman chose to remain silent in lieu of spilling more of his heart.

“Is it a curiosity, a small infatuation?” Shanks prompted, placing a replacement beverage in Beckman's hand once the glass was cleared, “Or are you in love with her?”

Beckman looked at the glass, his lip quipping up in gratitude for the replacement and the clean up before he carefully responded.

“I am in love with her.”

Shanks lulled his head on his shoulders, his elbows anchoring on the bar top as he slunk back into his rounded seat.

“And what are you going to do about it, Becks?” Shanks asked again, leaning his head on Yassop’s shoulder, “Wanna take a vow of celibacy at sea like our sharpshooter here?” Yassop shook his head, smiling with his mind swimming with thoughts of his wife in Syrup Village.

Beckman was perplexed. He was bewildered. Some could go so far as to say he was disorientated. The rush of admitting this unrequited love aloud to anyone other than Uta had him discombobulated, especially due to the fact that Shanks had not said a word against his confession.

“Still with us, Becks?” Shanks asked, waving his hand in front of Beckman to regain a sense of attention back. Snapping back to his present tense, he shook his head at his captain and downed his drink in a single gulp.

“She's with Uta, havin’ girl time?” Beckman asked, Shanks nodded in response. Taking a moment to pay a handful of Berry to the bar, Beckman purchased a round of drinks for his date, her friend, Limejuice and Shanks.

“Her name is Belmira, the friend with Limejuice is Dahlia,” Beckman informed Shanks, placing the tray of drinks in his hand and ushering him over to her, “Give her a drink with my apologies, Captain. I'm gonna do somethin’ about it.”

“That's my first-mate,” Shanks smiled, accepting the drinks and gleefully approaching the table with Dahlia, Limejuice and Belmira. As Shanks began offering the woman Beckman's apologies, Beckman was already out the door and walking into town.

Enjoying the salon first: hot combs, scalp massages, aromatherapy and waterfall conditioning were offered to both yours and Uta's scalps. You both relaxed into the experience, enjoying catching up on times lost between you. Your hands were always clasped tightly around one another's, your seats pushed flush together so you could talk closer.

Next was stopping for a small snack, both enjoying a quick sample of local fruits with ice cream before gathering some chicken smoked on skewers. You informed Uta you would both be eating something a little heartier later in the evening, but you enjoyed indulging your niece on her impulses.

Dresses, skirts, pants, socks, shoes and jewelry was next: all catered to Uta's unique taste. She picked out a few items for you to try on, her small hands raking at your freshly dried hair to style it up before releasing it with a nod.

Walking hand in hand, you approached a small vendor selling books with sheet music, all easy to decipher and follow. You purchased a small collection of them for Uta to take back to the Red-Force, adding it to the growing number of items you'd purchased for her.

Uta arched her back and stumbled in her footing briefly, her eyes drooping from the sheer amount of walking you did together, always hand in hand. You approached the docks, both your ship and the Red-Force remained rocking lightly with the tide.

“Pretty Aunty?” she asked suddenly, her voice slow and cautious. She gave your hand a gentle squeeze to halt your approach.

“Yes gorgeous girl?” you replied, scrunching your nose and looking down at the young girl at your side. Her eyes held curiosity, but also an air of precaution.

“Do you like Uncle Hawk?” she asked in a low tone, “Is that why you stay in Kuraigana and not come with us? Do you kiss him sometimes?”

“Uta!” you shook your head with a small laugh, “Absolutely not, sweet girl. While I do love Uncle Hawk, our love is not the way you think,” you confessed to her.

“I don't understand,” she shrugged with a soft pout. You rolled your shoulders back, huffing out a breath before leading her down to sit just before boarding her home at sea. You crouched in front of her, holding her gaze at eye level.

Attempting to commence your history, easy enough for a child to comprehend, and condense several brutal steps and details, you pursed your lips.

“Uncle Hawk and I fought each other a few times,” you admitted, gauging her comprehension by carefully looking in her eyes, “I won once, he won once. One day after that; we fought so hard, I ended up needing to see a special doctor to fix me up.” She nodded, waiting for more of your history to be shared with her.

“Uncle Hawk took me to the doctor, and waited for me to wake up to talk with me,” you continued. “He offered me a choice to leave a very, very bad person who had me do very, very bad things.” You shuddered at the memory that still caused your blood to run cold. You shook off the feeling, continuing to relay your explanation to the young child.

“I love him for that,” you admit to her, “Uncle Hawk showed me mercy where he had every right to make my heart stop. I have been living in my home in Kuraigana ever since, and I truly enjoy helping him remain as the World's Greatest Swordsman.”

She hummed, taking in the information like a dry sponge soaking up warm water. She allowed several moments to pass before she asked a pointed question.

“Do you kiss him like Uncle Beckman kissed that lady?” Uta narrowed her eyes, your comprehension of exactly what she was asking finally dawning on you.

“No, gorgeous girl,” you shook your head, “Uncle Hawk and I do not kiss. I make his coffee, I prepare his schedule, he cooks for me, and he shares wine with me. We do not kiss, we do not hold hands. We are both very good friends.”

“But aren't you very good friends with Uncle Beckman? Don't you love him too?” Uta said quickly, her line of reasoning quickly turning into an interrogation. You rolled your head on your shoulders, eyes closing and lips smiling.

“Uncle Beckman and I are excellent friends,” you nodded, lowering your head below her eyeline and collecting the bags beside her, “I have known him for longer than I knew Uncle Hawk-.”

“-Do you want him to kiss you like he kissed that lady in the bar? Do you love him?” Uta hurriedly spat, weaseling the truth from you in a similar way you managed to do so in your own childhood. You laughed joyfully, shaking your head at her question and taking a moment to think about it.

Teetering off your laughter, you looked down at the pouting child. Uta's hands were folded over her chest, her brows in a deep frown. Whispering in the native Kuraigana tongue, you tucked her hair behind her ear, “I love Beckman more than he's fully aware. He's had my heart the moment he placed you in my arms, beautiful girl.”

“I don't understand when you speak that language, pretty aunty,” she grumbled, swatting your hands away from her face, “Can you tell me what you said?”

“Of course I love him, Uta,” you shook your head, “I love all of the Red-Hair crew, including their little musician. Now, let's put your clothes, toys and makeup away before we go back to see them, okay?” You ensured there was no air for misinterpretation, looking at Uta's large eyes as she took in the information.

After taking a small breath, Uta stood on her feet and let you lead her and her items to the Red-Force and down into her room to put it all away.

Unbeknownst to you, Benn Beckman hurried back to the Red-Force immediately after bidding Shanks a hasty farewell. He bathed himself, washed his hair, sifted through his wardrobe to find his best clothes, and began shaving his face out on the deck with his shirt folded neatly beside him.

When hearing your chatter and approach, he hastily wiped the suds away from his face, checking himself over in the deck mirror for any scruff he missed. He scowled when he noticed a small tuft of hair on his jaw, hastily drawing up his barbering blade to scrape away the coarse fuzz.

He heard every word spoken, every soft giggle from you, and every pointed word from Uta. The interaction drew a smile up his lips, all grins and soft laughs, until the mention of love and kisses caused his heart to stumble.

The thought of you and Mihawk together romantically had never crossed his mind until now, truly ignorant to the reason you remained in Kuraigana. He knew you had been injured badly in a large fight with Mihawk, but never truly knew the reason you followed him.

When Uta asked you if you wanted him, if you loved him, he was frozen in place. He wanted to give you privacy to answer, but his heart was screaming at him to hone in on your response. Ears straining, he barely caught your voice whisper to Uta in Kuraiganian. He could admit to himself, his Kuraiganian was seriously lacking, but he did manage to pick up just the smallest phrase. This phrase had his shoulders fall in relief, his breath stolen from his lungs and his eyes clench tightly shut in bliss.

“I love Beckman,” you said, his mind repeating your soft whisper to Uta as a musician would repeat a favored section of their skillful melody. He translated that one phrase as he placed a cigarette between his lips.

“I love Beckman.”

#one piece #x reader #benn beckman #op benn beckman #op beckman #beckman x reader #f!reader #one piece x reader

30 notes · View notes

vee-beeee · 7 months

Text

(Part one) Robo Road Trip

HIIII

This is PART ONE BABY (edit I FINISHED COOKING right here)

Okay the last dbh post was KINDAA giving depression so heres a FLUFFY fluffy one thats been bouncing around my brain for a couple days, part one as im going to make a continuation that shows what camping is like with the boys.

Premise: Road Trip to the West coast with Conner, Nines and Sixty

Imagine those roads with trees surrounding them, thats the vibe

Also first time writing for SIXTY whoooo hope im not trash, he acts like a smug dramatic guy so idk

Conner, Nines and Sixty x reader

I believeee this is around 3k lol i went ham

Warnings: maybe a bad word because sixty, fluff with a capitol F, part one

I also recommended listening to ANY Lord Huron song while reading this, that is basically the road trip music

(Hey sidenote, I know some of the ecosystem is TRASHED in dbh but lets pretend thats not happening LOL)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were so happy to get out of the city.

And into the car for a 35 hour drive.

You really wanted to show your boys the mountain you would always camp at when you were on the West Coast. They all hadn't been outside of Detroit, being made to do one job IN Detroit, but now they were all deviant.

And you wanted to show them a taste of the outside world.

It took a while for you all to get packed, the droids really wanted to try experimenting with their wardrobes on this trip. They sought to explore their inner human as much as possible.

You all needed the appropriate gear, so you guys went on a little shopping spree to find a tent and basic camping stuff. Hank had actually tagged along to coach you guys on what to get, having gone camping a couple times himself. (he mostly talked with you and Conner while sending glares to Sixty and Nines)

You ended up getting a pretty fancy tent that was big enough for all of you, and some essential equipment for cooking and cleaning. You also snuck in some board and card games, even though you knew they would beat you. But you could probably win ONE time...

Right??

After buying the gear, you guys got planning. You could only stay camping for 5 days, as the station didn't necessarily enjoy losing 4 cops. Especially 3 of the 4 being advanced detective androids. But it had worked out, (the boys having saved an astronomical amount of sick days) and you planned on going sometime in the fall. You decided on a week and you remember hurriedly running to your calendar and circling the date and also drawing a bunch of small doodles around it. The boys had all watched you fondly, getting excited themselves.

It all lead up to this moment, where Conner sitting next to you in the driver seat and was setting the location in his new GPS, Nines and Sixty where packing the car, and you were making a road trip playlist. (Hey that's very important!)

"Hey Conner?" He hummed in response and didn't look at you, too busy trying to figure out a new gadget he got for his car.

"Do you like Lord Huron?" You were trying to decide what the perfect music to play was and realized that Lord Huron existed. You weren't really sure how androids experienced music so you thought of asking. He huffed out a sigh directed at the troublesome device and turned to look at your phone, where you also had your eyes glued.

"I don't really listen to music as such, but Hank has introduced me to heavy metal. Is it like that?" You giggled remembering Hanks music taste

"No its more gentle, relaxing. It reminds me of walking in the woods." Out of the corner of your eye Conner looked away, LED blinking amber and blue. He looked back at you with a soft smile and this time you met his gaze.

"That sounds delightful, my dear. Perfect for this occasion" You flushed at the nickname, and he chuckled seeing your reaction. He leaned in and kissed your cheek before exiting the car, hearing Sixty's call that they were almost done. You sat in the vehicle, skin heating, and raising a hand to graze the place he kissed you. You loved when he did that. A steady knock at the window startled you and you whipped around to see a familiar face (sixty) smirking at you, seeing that you were flushed. You stuck your tongue out at him and he reciprocated, sticking his tongue back at you.

"If you two would stop behaving like children, we would be done much sooner." A booming voice cut through your contest with sixty, and you watched him roll his eyes and face an annoyed Nines. You got out of the car to go help the RK900 with what he was carrying. He was still grumpy so you smiled softly at him and mouthed an apology. He relaxed slightly, but still shot a glare at sixty, who chuckled and went back into the apartment and get more bags. You then took the time to appreciate Conner's awesome Bat Mobile car. It had a huge trunk that managed to fit all of your stuff, tent included. It was truly a miracle machine.

You walked over to the car and gave the suitcase to Conner who situated it nicely in a perfect space. You were also lucky to have android boyfriends who were amazing at managing tight spaces and fitting things into them.

After a couple of minutes, Sixty emerged with the last of the bags. He informed you all that he locked the house up and engaged the security systems. The final step. You were really going.

You all piled into the car, both Nines and Sixty insisting you take the front seat. You accepted, but promised to swap with them when you got to the next stop. Most rest stops would be for you, needing to get food or use a restroom. The droids didn't need anything but told you they needed to get up and stretch their legs once in a while ( but you think that was just their excuse so they could follow you around and make sure you were safe at suspicious gas stations.)

After a while of driving through the city, Conner was getting on the highway when you announced that you would be playing a Lord Huron song and see how everyone liked it. You turned on "Meet Me in the Woods" and leaned back to look out the window.

"I took a little journey to the unknown,

And I've come back changed I can feel it in my bones

I messed with the forces our eyes cant see

Now the darkness got a hold on me

Oh, the darkness got a hold on me"

You had closed your eyes and started to quietly sing along, and realized you should see what the others thought about it. You turned your head slightly to Conner staring out at the road ahead, his LED blinking yellow and blue. He had a soft, lingering smile on his face and his posture was relaxed.

Sixty had his eyes closed, leaning his head all the way back on the seat and seemed to be absorbing the music.

Nines was also leaning back, arms crossed. He was staring out the window with his LED a soft, stable amber. He turned slightly to just catch the end of your gaze and his lips twitched in a cute, endearing way. It was a Nines smile. You smiled back at him and turned around to look out the front windshield. It was raining slightly, and you were just leaving the city and into the unknown. It was perfect.

After the song had finished, you tore your eyes away from the road

"Did you all like it?" you hopefully gazed at each individual and noticed they all looked at peace. Conner spoke first

"Do you have more music of that energy? I think I enjoyed it."

"I agree. More please"

"Indeed"

You looked around to see everyone nodding their heads and you beamed. And so, your playlist made it past the android enjoyment test. You settled in as it started the next song, feeling content. You could totally do 35 hours.

(4 hours in)

Update: why would you do this to yourself. 35 hours? Were you crazy? You loved road trips as much as the next guy, but you were dying. You guys were currently stuck in traffic, and the boys had gotten involved in a pretty intense "dad stuck in traffic" fight.

"Nines, going on I90 would have taken us to the heart of Chicago, do you want more traffic?"

"No it wouldn't if we took the round about. Whose the more advanced android here Conner."

"Woah, low blow"

"Be quiet Sixty"

This started as Nines getting mad at Conner for taking them down a road that had high traffic at that hour, and Conner defending himself. Sixty had no argument, he just liked being included.

"I took 294 because I knew it would keep us out of the worst of the traffic. No matter what, traffic is inevitable."

"It could have been avoidable had you followed my instructions"

You were sitting in the passenger seat, eyes squeezed shut listening to them argue. It was infuriating.

So you did something.

"Guys I'm going to jump out of the car and sprint down the street like a crazy person if you don't stop arguing. I'm dead serious" You snapped and stared them down. Or a least you tried, because your face betrayed you and you broke out into a smile giggle.

Conner looked guilty at first, but saw your grin and started chuckling, envisioning you running down the street like a madman. Nines bristled, still annoyed. Even if your giggle made his lips quirk. You made eye contact with Sixty and he was smirking at you, taking out his coin to mess around with.

You eventually sighed, a couple minutes having passed. You turned around to address Nines.

"Traffic was inevitable" then you turned to Conner "No arguing". You took Conner's hand in yours and held it. Another smile broke out onto his face and he turned to look out on the road. You felt a hand graze your neck and you twisted around to see Nines reaching out. He moved forward to peck your temple and then quietly apologized to Conner.

Mission Successful.

But that was mission one. Mission two was figuring out how to go to use the bathroom. Because you were currently stuck in traffic. That wasn't great. After a couple minutes of fidgeting your legs, Conner took his hand away from holding yours and looked toward you. His gaze was steady, as his LED blinked and you knew in the back of your head that he was scanning you.

"Do you have to use the lavatory?" You gasped and shoved his shoulder, watching him bite back a laugh, and then started sinking in to your seat.

"Conner! That's so embarrassing."

"Did maybe someone tell you to go before we left? Oh wait, that sounds like something I would say" Sixty spoke up from the back of the car. You turned around to gape at him, and he just sat there looking smug. You could hear Conner and Nines subdued chuckling behind the music that was playing.

You ended up holding out, absolutely refusing to go in the woods by the road, insisting that someone would see you. Conner pulled over at a gas station and you all but flew out of the car and bolted through the store until skidding to a stop right outside the bathroom.

When you got out, Sixty was buying your favorite snack and you saw Conner and Nines fueling up the car out the window. They were seriously so thoughtful.

After Sixty was done paying, you came up behind him and hugged his middle. He laughed and held your hands still on his middle, and spun you. You squeaked and he laughed harder. He stopped and unwrapped you to kiss your head and hand you your prized snack. You pecked his lips and left, both of you saying good day to the amused employee working there.

(17 hours in)

It started getting really late so you guys stayed at a motel for the night. You guys all relaxed on a fluffy bed, all party's included were happy to stretch their legs. You and Nines had been switching front seat and back seat, and Sixty had repeatedly old you he was fine where he was. Nines had revealed to you later that Sixty just wanted to sit next to you.

You got up from the bed first, eager to get ready and sleep. When you came out 30 minutes later, Conner was laying still under the blankets, staring at the celling. Nines was also under, and had rolled over to face the window. And Sixty had apparently, at some point while you were in the bathroom, been knocked off the bed. He was currently face down on the floor. You giggled and nudged his side. He rolled over, clutching his heart.

"They, (fake coughing) their so mean. They shoved me off the bed" you shook your head and leaned down on your knees to kiss his cheek. He accepted and rolled back over on his face. Conner then spoke up from the bed

"I wouldn't kiss his face, this floor is filthy." You stood up and laughed, making your way to the bed and crawling over him to slip between him and Nines. Nines stiffened until he got comfortable, and Conner wrapped his arms around you to spoon you.

"Just say your jealous she kissed me Conny" came a voice from the floor. Conner scoffed and replied with another rhetorical comment hidden in a nice tone. Nines joined in just when you started slipping into sleep, and the last thing you heard before you left to dream world was Conner whispering goodnight into your ear.

In the morning you woke up covered in androids. Very snugly droids. You all then got packed up and set off. During the drive, You found out Sixty had crawled into bed after you and shoved Nines off when he was in rest mode. Nines woke up very alarmed, and decided to continue his rest in one the the chairs in the room the motel provided. You had felt so bad afterwards, but he insisted it was fine.

You guys were driving through North Dakota today, and you were currently knitting. The boys were discussing a case that was giving them a hard time. You would have joined in but you believed in not talking about work on your precious vacation time. You were sitting in the back seat now, Sixty at your side, and it was very domestic. You felt a hand wrap itself around your knee and you smiled, continuing your stitch.

(30 hours in)

You were totally knocked out. The boys wanted to continue driving to beat traffic, and were currently talking through their android Verizon service (using their minds) as to not wake you up.

But you still accidently woke up with a start when Sixty had rolled his shoulder, unintentionally dropping your head off him. You had apparently drifted off resting your face on his soft puffy jacket.

To which he did NOT mind.

You squeaked awake, being surprisingly shoved off your pillow. Sixty immediately said a quiet apology, but it was too late. 2 angry droids turned there seats around to glare down the accused RK800.

"We told you to stay still" they said that almost in synch

"I was reaching for a blanket! I didn't know a small movement would wake her!"

You sleepily giggled at their little argument and passed out against him once again.

When you woke up for real, you were informed that you guys were almost three hours away. You breathed a sigh of relief, but still begged to pull over so you could get some air. You were in a beautiful parts of the woods and you desperately needed a stretch after sleeping on Sixty. No offence, but snuggling with androids is like snuggling with a very sturdy pillow. Your happy for it, but its not very squishy.

Nines had chuckled at how desperate you looked and obliged. You popped out and basically ran halfway down the road and back. You were huffing when you came back to the car. Conner rolled his window down, eyebrow raised. You wheezed

"Sorry, needed to run" He nodded in understanding, and actually got out himself to stretch his android joints and put on his cute little beanie. Sixty got out and straightened his tie, and Nines choose to stay in the car and work on coordinates. Sixty walked around the car to join you and Conner, and looped his arms around your waist. You yelped as he picked you up slightly to sling you back in forth.

"How are you enjoying the road trip?" He punctuated each word with a swing of your body. You were laughing when you responded "Good, but I'm excited to get there" Conner had been watching you fondly when he stated

"Nines says its 3 more hours, but we might get delayed depending on traffic." you nodded and Sixty set you down. You then went up to go hug Conner, making sure he wasn't missing any affection.

After more standing and stretching, you got in the front seat with Nines next to you, setting the car to auto drive. Conner and Sixty were sitting in the back, playing one of the card games you brought and starting to get very competitive with each other. You beamed and turned back to look at Nines. His eyes weren't on the road, however. He was staring at you with an expression of absolute love. You both sat and stared at each other until he leaned over and grabbed the back of your head, threaded his fingers into your hair, and kissed your temple. You shivered as his fingers rubbed your scalp and he grinned against your temple.

(5 minutes away from campsite)

You were bouncing off the walls excited. It had been years since you visited this spot, having been to far away after moving to Detroit. The boys had been enjoying the scenery outside the city, but now the were enthralled. The woods were huge, and the air was fresh. Moss hung from the arms of the trees and you could see your mountain peeking over the top of the forest. You guys were waiting in line at the entrance of the campsite to check in, and you were gushing about how pretty your spot was. It was nestled in the corner of the campsite, leading into a trail into your own personal forest. Complete with a little stream.

The androids were amused watching you talk about the park, but they were almost as excited as you. When you were sleeping, all they talked about was this new experience, and how happy they were to share it with you. It was interesting seeing all the new environments and experiencing what its like outside of the city. Detroit was so advanced, and they had never really been deep in the woods.

After patiently waiting, you finally got all checked in and remembered to buy some firewood.

Then, you were off.

Starting your very first camping trip with your wonderful android boyfriends

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PART ONE YALL

Hope its okay, had to really crack at this one to fit all my ideas in. Its also hard to write the dynamic between 4 people LOL

Hope I managed to capture their personalities okay

Part 2 is all about them camping so stay tuned

It might take a bit so hang on and let me cook 🔥

Sorry for plot holes or if this has been done beforee

#dbh connor #dbh connor x reader #dbh rk800 #detroit become human #dbh nines #dbh rk900 #dbh rk900 x reader #dbh sixty #dbh sixty x reader #road trip

62 notes · View notes

vasilissadragomir · 2 months

Note

GIRL! What you mean you also writing about katniss's period in your fanfic too. Please tell me more about it, I'd love to know!

LMAO okay sooooo without spoiling too much i just think that it’s very important for katniss to experience her body operating as normal for literally the first time in her life. even before the games/the incomprehensibly stressful circumstances of catching fire/the war she was malnourished. perhaps not as badly as most others in the seam, or even in the town bc it seems meat was hard to come by even for peacekeepers and merchants, but she absolutely was underfed and lacking essential nutrients. so even if she was getting a period, like you said, it most certainly wasn’t quite normal or regular.

but periods aren’t just about actual bleeding or physical symptoms, ofc. her body likely never experienced the full breadth of hormonal fluctuation people go through during a healthy menstrual cycle. we know katniss is often moody and irritable because a) she’s a teenager b) she’s starving and c) she’s stressed out of her mind in constant survival mode, but she’s almost always in control. what happens when her hormones, allowed to function for the first time as they’re meant to, take control of her body like they do for most teenagers w periods? especially with all the emotional upheaval of the war and losing prim, i bet experiencing pms for the first time sends her into a tailspin. she’s probably crying a lot, eating a lot, and feels like everything is coming apart around her at the littlest things. which, compounded with the ptsd and grief, and the first time lack of need to be in survival mode, is overwhelming and causes her to act impulsively.

not to mention, of course, why we get periods in the first place. how does peeta’a presence interact with her body’s discovery of its normal function, especially this function? we know they grow back together. we know she feels that thing again. we know so after. but what happens between those things? it’s implied that katniss and peeta are at least kissing before so after. what is it that motivates katniss to kiss him back, beyond, of course, love? katniss likes kissing. she says when she’s kissing gale that it reminds her that her body’s alive. what is it like for her to kiss the person she actually loves when her body is healthy enough to urge her on?

now, of course katniss knows about periods, their symptoms, and sex/pregnancy. a pet peeve i have in fics is when people act like katniss doesn’t know about this stuff because she’s “pure” or, frankly, because readers see district 12 as backwards and uneducated or something. but katniss’ mom is an apothecary. katniss absolutely knows the clinical ins and outs of puberty. but at the same time, i bet she never really expected all that stuff to happen to *her* the way it does to other people. she’s always been in control while in district 12 up until the end of the war. why would something like a hormonal shake-up change that? i don’t think she’ll recognize what’s happening to her (im shocked by it every month, and ive had a semi-regular period for more of my life than not and i knew what to expect from like age 5). when she does realize it, she’ll likely be in denial about it.

i also think this is a great opportunity for katniss and her mom to bond and begin to repair their relationship. because for the first time, katniss actually will, palpably, *need* her mom and her expertise in a way she hasn’t in over five years.

#this is so much more than you asked for #well hope that answers the question hahahaha #ask #ask answered #the hunger games #thg #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #everlark #thg fic #everlark fic #everlark fanfiction #thg fanfiction #growing together #grow together #us among the living

37 notes · View notes

wazzappp · 3 months

Text

FINALLY. FUCKING FINALLY FINISHED JESUS CHRIST.

Ok so. Heres the general breakdown for attack types:

Basic attacks: These attacks just use the weapons that manifest during their magical girl transformation. Theres no limit to using these. They don't utilize all that much magic but are still effective because the weapons are technically MADE of magic.

Ult attacks: Utilize more magic and have a recharge time of about 5 to 10 minutes (which is a pretty long time in a fight). They can only be used after quite a bit of practice, as they require the ability to channel a lot of magic in a short amount of time. A familiar and their person must be able to work together in order for it to be effective. The familiar has to be capable of funneling the magic to the caster, and the caster has to have experience CASTING it.

Specialized spells: Each one of these attacks is different from person to person. These don't necessarily have to be attacks, they can also be defenses or evasions. These are usually the most difficult for a caster to master and take even more magic than the Ult attacks. A magical girl typically uses it the first time on accident, during the heat of the moment where they are desperately drawing on more magic to defend themselves. After that it is a concentrated effort to cast these spells. It's usually a signifier that the magic is starting to settle in them and that they're ready to cast more. The recharge time for these spells is 10 to 15 minuites.

The recharge time for casting spells will decrease the more a caster is composed of magic... which is a post for later lmao. As much as I would love to get into the fun ship of Theseus glitter body horror in this post it would just take to long lmao but its COMIN EVENTUALLY I PROMISE.

Johnny is an excellent fighter because of his POWER and his RANGE. He's best suited to fighting merged ghosts because it's one big target to aim a lot of power at. His Ult spirals out from around him and can help prevent him from getting caught if a bunch of separate ghosts try to swarm him. The downside is that its harder to direct, and he's in danger of hitting teammates if they're in his range (which I said earlier is pretty large). His specialized spell conjures essentially a cannon of fire, which he can aim wherever he pleases. His magical recharge time is slightly shorter than he norm, and he strikes me as the type of person who would use them IMMIDIETLY after he recharges.

Johnny has trouble if he doesen't have enough room to move his Scythe around. He works best in big open spaces. Hallways and elevators and the like are a BIG nope.

Robbie is unique among the other ghost fighters because 1. He's the least experienced and 2. He probably has the MOST trouble getting along with his familiar (I cant see him and Eli getting along in any fuckin universe tbh). Because of this he's not as adept at channeling large amounts of magic. When he does try at an Ult attack it usually has a much smaller effect than the others (see top right with him swinging his hammer). This means he focuses mostly on non magical attacks; having two modes to use his hammers (regular and on the end of chains to give him range). He's not as powerful so he has to be more CREATIVE. His magical recharge time is about what I described at the top.

He fights best at close range and can use his chained hammers to drag enemies that are usually too far away closer to him (GET OVER HEREEEE fuck yeah mortal kombat). His big weakness is that his smaller weapons dont allow him to block as easily, so he needs to focus on dodging or using his specialized spell, teleporting, to get out for the way (mostly dodging though. he's not great at teleporting). He HAS to stay aware of his surroundings or he could get surprised very easily.

Im gonna need. A whole nother post to try and figure out how the charger fits into all this lmao.

Dannyyyy!!! His funky moon staff was so fun for me to think about. One idea that I thought of after getting everything drawn is him sticking it around a ghosts neck and using it to guide them around and use that ghost as a shield. He has similar weakness to Johnny in that he needs space to move and cast spells. His arm guards make him just the littlest bit more able to block attacks but he still primarily uses his staff to stop attacks from going through (most of the others do. Yayyyyyy spinny capabilities).

@moosemonstrous made the WONDERFUL suggestion of his specialized spell being THROWS ACID ON YOU THROWS SO MUCH FUCKING ACID ON YOU REDUCED YOU TO YOUR BASE ELEMENTS GET FUCKED NERD GET ACIDED cause of his green era lmfao. He really REALLY does not enjoy this and uses it as little as possible. His magic recharge time is also just a little shorter.

@rokhal YOUUUUU. You mentioned Frank having time manipulation like Homura from Madoka Magica and it spawned this whole class of spell I blame you for this.

Frank has the most experience with magical girling by FAR and its very apparent in his fighting style. He sometimes uses the magic manifested by preparing his Ult without actually COMPLETING the spell which is like. Fighting with RPG backblast in magical girl world.

Franks staff is more infused with magic than the other fighters weapons, which allows him to manipulate its length (Robbie does something to a similar effect with his chains at the cost of his magical attacks not being as strong. Frank has no such limits lol).

His specialized spell stops time for about 5 minutes. If he extends himself he can sometimes push this time longer but it is VERY tiring. He also has to be REALLY careful of his team mates movements. Positioning some metal shards for a ghost to fall onto is all well and good, unless Robbie manages to teleport directly onto it. His recharge time is much MUCH shorter than the others, it usually only takes him 2 minutes to recharge an Ult and 7 minutes to recharge his specialized spell (though that time does increase the more he uses it, so there are still consequences for expending that much magic)

ALSO CREDIT TO MOOSE AGAIN for starting the idea to have all of them be. Sort of afraid? of their specialized spells. Johnny is terrified that he will somehow manage to literally burn the, surprisingly sort of happy, life he's built to the ground. Robbie is scared one day he'll just pop out of existence entirely. That he'll just go to teleport and get stuck in the weird inbetween space of being composed of magic and thought without real form forever. Danny is almost too afraid to go near people while his spell is active because Please Jesus Christ don't get dissolved please please. Fuck this acid ability fuck it fuck this. Frank's is a nightmare and a dream in one. What if he finds a time so nice, so happy, that he just freezes it and gives everything he has to stay there forever? It's been so long since he's had a family. What if he cant bear to let this one go?

#drempen I promise the 'everyone falling flat on their face and slamming into asphalt' is still happening its just coming a little later #now i can get to the glitter body horror as a little treat before jumping into familiar lore lets go lets goooooooo #I need it out of my head dude i need it OUT.#ghost rider magical girl au #my art #sketch #robbie reyes #johnny blaze #danny ketch #frank castle #ghost rider #thank you for screaming about this with me mooseeeeeee it was very productive #okok I have asks to answer and @s to respond too now that this monster is out of the way like jesus christ

35 notes · View notes

scalproie · 3 months

Note

HEE HO

AsuLili

3, 6, 10, 31,36

XiaoJin

1, 60, 55, 12, 10

J FROST IS LUCKY HES BLUE AND HAS ICE POWERS

(Also dont kill me for the Asulili im not as versed as you)

3. Do they wear the other’s clothes? (sweatshirt, bandana, necklace, etc.)

*laughs in canon clothes swap in t8 customization* but fr i dont think asuka would willingly wear lili's clothes bc its not her style and the same would be true for lili. BUT when lili start to gift asuka clothes, I feel she would eventually wear the kinda clothes she buy for her gf herself, making asuka want to wear them in return.

6. Who would beg the other not to leave? Who has to leave to protect the other?

I FEEL like both of those would be lili. bc lili is the one making an active choice to be in asuka's life, so it would be her who'd have to swallow her pride and beg for asuka to stay, all the while being the one who'd be ready to leave to protect asuka, bc in her mind, pre-dating, she deep down would think/know that her presence isnt essential in asuka's life (it wouldnt be true but yknow)

10. Describe their first date.

When they decide to actually start dating, I feel their first date would be kinda jarring to asuka bc in her mind, she'd picture lili doing exactly what lili has always done, with the extravagance she's bring to everything, the roses, the everything... but the actual date is much more reserved bc in lili's mind, smth has changed yknow? This has a touch of seriousness to the situation that wasnt there before, and maybe, just maybe, lili is a bit more nervous about this now.

31. Can they sit side by side without touching the other or are they handsy? (lacing fingers, touching knees, etc.)

I feel asuka would be kinda handsy bc thats the protectiveness talking, she would barely even notice that shes doing it, someone would be talking to either of them about lili in particular and asuka would have to have a physical contact with her.

36. Who’s more likely to fire up the stove at 2am because the other woke up in the middle of the night hungry?

Again. Asuka. She's someone who finds concrete solutions to problems, and if lili wakes up hungry well there is only one way to solve that. "Its rotten work, especially if its you. I mean i'll do it but christ alive"

And now Xiaojin!

1. Who would end a heated argument by defending their actions with ‘because I love you!’ ?

Xiaoyuuu like MAYBE post-t8, jin could end up in that situation but for the most part it'd be xiaoyu, again, pre-t8, jin would have trouble coming to terms as to why someone would do any kind of extreme actions for HIM so this would be xiaoyu's argument ender. She'd immediately be embarassed after saying it while jin bluescreen

10. Describe their first date.

AMUSEMENT PARK BABEYYY like man. Literally what better for them to reconnect as friends and get used to hang out as lovers? With xiaoyu's special interest and a place jin is sure to enjoy experiencing for most likely the first time where he get just to have fun?

12. Do they have many heated arguments? How do they smooth things over?

I dont think they have many arguments and in those, jin would be particularly apologetic anyway. His loved ones are everything to him so naturally he would try to make her heard and find together a solution to whatever problem theyre having that would have them argue anyway. That and he also feels like a "my girlfriend is mad at me. I hope I die" kinda guy.

55. Do they like watching clouds or star gazing?

Both, watching clouds turns into star gazing eventually and this is more jin's thing like he would show xiaoyu the clear sky of yakushima and she's happy to share that with him

60. Who pulls the other closer when they’re sleeping?

Xiaoyu does it sometimes bc like. she's finally found him :) but most of the time its Jin, he likes that kind of comfort to having her close to him and not being scared of harming her despite himself

#also sorry it took me like literally 24h. i had. a rough day.#tagging later #nozomijoestar #ask meme

12 notes · View notes

acidbathcat · 4 days

Note

what side effects have u experienced om vyvanse? my psych wants me to try it but im scared of meds

i don’t recommend any stimulant. if you can, try exercising and eating healthy and sleeping right before you resort to that. i’m only on it until i’m done with school and then i’m tossing it. it’s not great for you. my heart pounds a lot, and it increases the amount of glucose in your blood, so every time i eat i get a massive uncomfortable sugar rush. also it makes me dehydrated and if i forget to chug water my skin dries up. that, plus the fact that my OCD gets really bad, i spend hours picking at my skin because of it.

it essentially has the same side effects as Meth, but less severe. because it is. meth. just weigh the pros and cons before you take it. if you have to, i’d recommend starting out only taking it when you “need it.” for example i only take it on school days or study days because otherwise i’d go back to being 90 pounds with receding gums (yes that happened to me).

i’m not trying to scare you at all, but i was never told about these things when i started stimulants. it really does impact your body on every level, and i’m a believer of “informed consent.” so think about it carefully. i recommend the less is more approach when it comes to meds, especially if your psych is med happy like all of mine were/are. they love Increasing shit. just be patient. learn how to say “no, i’m comfortable with the dose i’m on” or “i want to try taking less of this.” it builds trust on their end as well if you come across as a person who knows their limits.

good luck

#ask

8 notes · View notes

quietbluejay · 12 days

Text

Unremembered Empire 5

I don't have anything to add except that he's pretty spot on, love to see his evaluations of the others.

also, you could have let Lion kill you, you know.

i think guilliman really does judge his brothers all for not being like him

hm they both shit talk russ a bit lion is surprised because this room is 100% emotion

augh im experiencing an emotion

lmao lion suspects Jaghatai

this is really interesting this whole conversation guilliman calls him out on being opaque and keeping secrets

that is an absolutely amazing line

guilliman: we've been thrown into horse plinko

he needs to be able to be honest with more people this is evoking many emotion okay more like one emotion strongly lol and then we end the chapter with guilliman essentially offering the regent role to Lion Sdjfkhsdf THE BEGINNING OF THE NEXT CHAPTER is Guilliman asking his psyker subordinate to read Lion's mind to find out if he's keeping more secrets absolutely incredible

i. i do not know how to react to this.

i'll take "konrad curze making out with an ipad" for 1000 under "things i did NOT expect in a warhammer novel" i think i need a moment to recover from this one

what this did? it launched ze missiles

lmaoo curze setting all the drop pods loose interrupted the fancy dinner guilliman drew steel on lion

… the last time he was in this situation, guilliman was telling himself it had to be a terrible mistake and it wasn't Lion says please a few more times okay i need more data points on lion what is UP with this guy, seriously

you know what, people should eat more food in warhammer novels local telepath runs into curze and uh

whoops

he's in the middle of the park and he yells at them to raise the shields

iii think we're about to change genre again back to horror

time for another honest conversation

also his honesty which, Lion says, is something he shares with Horus, again Guilliman is getting quite irritated with being compared to Horus lol lmaooo they're talking about honesty and Lion is STILL trying to evade explaining about Curze guilliman finally gets him to admit it lmaoo guilliman: just admit it before i have to beat it out of you- lion: you'd lose guilliman: NOT THE POINT! oof John has been taken prisoner by Narek (loyalist word bearer)

again, buddy, good luck

OMINOUS Konrad Curze is watching you from inside ur walls curze has turned guilliman's fortress into some kind of horror game meanwhile polux and dantioch are chatting

oof lol

and then all the candles suddenly blow out dantioch using the empathic pharos or something is able to guide polux so he doesn't get murked by curze

this is like having your friend guide you when you're playing a video game

wh???

i think. i think we saw THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP??? FOR REALSIES???

owo Guilliman: you know what it's time for the loyalists to get some heretic kills Lion: yeah!!! not joking he used the term heretic

im trying to understand why he is tumblr sexymn is it the ipad licking??? is it the "i can fix him"???

and yes im still recovering from sexily licking the ipad Abnett WHY

Now a song from Hamilton is stuck in my head I hope you're happy

owo Euten is gonna give a speech she talks the shattered legions into going after curze tonight: curze terrorizes an old lady square up curze im gonna punch you

Curze's issues have issues

VULKAN INTERRUPT??? sjkdfhlsdf THEN THEY GO OUT THE WINDOW TOGETHER somehow curze won THEN VULKAN IMMEDIATELY comes back to life this is some kind of comedy wacky looney tunes run out the window etc so guilliman and lion got rescued by Dantioch Dantioch and Euten for MVPs Lion judges Guilliman for using the pharos beacon

oh another rules for me but not for thee primarch

okay so lion was turning on the social skills/charm for guilliman???

or he's just rude to the help

to be continued! again.

#bluejay reads warhammer #warhammer 40k

9 notes · View notes

lehhoh7822 · 6 months

Note

asking about the legally blonde fics 🙄 (JOKING i actually really want to hear about them. please?)

THANK YOU its not letting me add a cut guys..... i would if i could..... long post??

alright hi i write legally blonde fanfics after being involved in a production of it earlier this year and. well.

like i think my fanfic is very ehhhh for most people because i like essentially getting to write completely different songs and then having to integrate them into canon if that makes sense?? based solely off the musical, like, none of pilar margot serena really have ANY established backstory and i havent seen the movie or read the book in such a long time. so what i mean is that i get to write this horrifying piece about someone experiencing parentifcation in an abusive environment and then try to integrate that character into the more canonised characterisation.

i guess the reason is like. of musicals, legally blonde is very.... i don't know, its pretty solid in terms of content for the musical. its absurd like most musicals which kind of facilitated me and my friend (im gonna @ their dead blog from when they were like 12 @kittykatturtles-blog) to make crack theories and then give me things that i wanted to extrapolate from it. I guess the other thing about these fics is that i want to write about how. fucked a lot of rich people are. i think part of this is coming out of the dsmp fandom or engaging with it more critically in terms of a fandom and being able to recognise the kind of repetitiveness of a lot of fanfictions in a very... trope esque way? like there are so many fics which are basically the same and a lot of those feel like they didn't have anything to say or think about in terms of the characters.

i think the other part of it which matters to me is being able to write about themes which are genuinely really serious, and at times intimately familiar to me; exploitative religious groups, familial abuse, dissociative identity disorder, and more, without the worry of too heavy scruntiny. like i remember when i was writing for dsmp i always got kind of scared of writing something too serious and having people like like. oh my god. hes a MINOR. YOURE KILLING ME. the whole point of the stories aren't just that bad things are happening or that these characters are justified or whatever, it's about. how do you keep going? how do you keep loving? how do you explain yourself.

i think something thats super important to be is character autonomy. it rings pretty bad for me when a traumatised or disabled is given no action on their end at all for anything, making them a hollow slate for the abled characters to support and research and worry about and lie to. to me, as someone who is traumatised and is disabled, that kind of dynamic is gross to read about. so its important to me to be able to write about, even if it cant exist in real life, the idea of supportive people who are also kind of fucked up and having to acknowledge the real hopelessness of complex issues is something i want to depict in my writing.

for a lot of people, for most i think, when terrible things happen they can't just stop and they somehow have to keep on going despite the world feeling like its stopped turning for them. and i think a lot of bad things do happen to people when they are still young. one of the worst years of my life was when i was 12 and its genuinely quite hard to top it. trying to write the spiky complex feelings of self hatred and confusion and injustice you can't place and hopelessness is cathartic to me and i think its important for me that it exists.

the other thing is that. like by the nature of my writing, this is leading to a better future. im a pretty slow writer, and i can't be hyperfixated on the story i need to just be continually trying to think and work on it. but because we know; we know they make it to college, we know they have friends, and in this i know that they can make it to adulthood, its an assertion, from me as a writer and from me as a traumatised disabled person that i will make a better future and the worst parts of your life will not definte them. idk.

this is the link to the first two fics and im writing a new one as we speak

if you want to hear more about ttolt characters (we have pilar, serena, margot, elle, serenas parents and brother, pilars infinite fucking siblings and parents, and a few others) then send me asks about it. PLEASE dear god

#my writing #personal #thank you so much for the ask!!!!!!!!#legally blonde #ttolt

16 notes · View notes

pansyfemme · 4 months

Note

hey i just found your blog and wanted to let you know that your gender expression is exactly what i want for myself, but i'm so afraid of getting there.

I identified as nonbinary for four years before I started T and soon after that realized I was just a binary trans man. I used to dress pretty feminine a lot of the time, I used to wear a lot of makeup, jewelry, skirts and dresses, etc and I wasn't ashamed of it. I even would dress up in drag sometimes, and I still have all of that stuff. but I also had really severe dysphoria that was so debilitating. when I started T and first began to pass, I gained a bunch of weight and no longer fit a lot of my feminine clothes. And I stopped dressing feminine at all.

For months I was soaking up the euphoria of now passing as male, it was so amazing and such a huge relief. I liked being masculine a lot of the time, I gradually ended up turning into a bear, and I loved that. But eventually I started to miss my old style, I missed wearing makeup and I missed it all. I started wearing earrings again to work, my boss always comments on them that she loves them, and it makes me happy. But it's not enough.

I have really deeply ingrained internalized homophobia, it's probably something I need to work on but right now I have a lot else on my plate. I live in a blue state, in a progressive city, I've never experienced any LGBT hate personally directed at me, but the fear is still there. I'm also terrified of people assuming I'm nonbinary again, because I know with my heart that isn't me. I'm a man, there is no question to my maleness at all to me. It took me a long time to realize that. Even now that I pass, my dysphoria fears are still there, and I fear that dressing how I want to would cause people to misgender me again, but this time as nonbinary instead of female.

I have a bunch of money in gift cards at this one costume/vintage store I got most of my old stuff at, I want to go and revamp my closet with stuff that fits me now, but I'm so afraid now that I pass as male. I'm afraid of the judgmenet, trying to be a feminine man when I am neither skinny nor hairless.

Do you have any words of advice at all? Looking at the photos in your pinned post, you give me so much gender envy. And we're the same age. I wish I could get to where you are but I have so much fear preventing me. Thank you for your time, hope you are having a wonderful day <3

First of all, thank you for such a sweet honest message. It means a lot that I could be someone you think of to seek advice from.

Given your concerns, i cannot tell you that it's going to be easy. I'm also from a progressive city in a blue state, but even there, i get a lot of rude words shouted from cars, laughs at me, and a lot of hurtful statements pretty reguarly. I also have that issue of people assuming im detranstioning or nonbinary. I'm not saying these things to caution you against it, because I continue to dress the way I do regardless of these things, but I want to be fully honest about how I experience going out in public the way I do. I'm lucky enough to have very supportive friends, teachers and classmates, that are both positive towards, and downright thrilled about the way I present.

I feel very similarly towards my maleness. I identified with various labels in middle and highschool, but remained he/him pronouns and leaned masculine until i realized that perhaps I was just a man who enjoyed presenting femininly. The original transition back to dressing feminine happened while i was still identifying as nonbinary, but already on hrt. For a period of time, i decided to present very differently. I was on hrt, but i shaved all my body hair, wore heavy makeup, and i still had my chest at the time, so i essentially presented as what most would percieve as a cis female but continued to use he/him. This wasn't an act of detransiton, it was actually based on consistant bodyshaming i recieved from another trans person in my life. I'm just spelling this out because at different times in my transiton, i have presented as masculine, feminine, androgynous and something in between both before and after medical transiton. I still have days I choose to take on a more masculine apperance in public for various reasons, though I no longer have the ability to pass as a cis woman. I believe that gender presentation is fully fluid, and I've become pretty comfortable moving between different states of being even when my idenity remains static. What you are percieved as externally has very little to do with your internal idenity, and being fluid in presentation doesn't mean your personal identity is fluid.

For me, the best ways I could manage presenting the way I do is the fact that I have a personal network of people who are very confidently supportive of my choices, as well as seeing a regular therapist who encouraged my crossdressing after seeing how happy it made me. You have to be aware that even if you are already visably queer, this will increase it signifigantly. Queer visability can be good, and theres no way to entirely turn off your visability, but understanding that dressing like this can become stressful or anxiety inducing is a big factor. I, for example, never use gendered public restrooms unless i am presenting masculinely. The main positives of dressing this way is that it can feel really genuine. I don't feel like a girl in makeup and skirts, I feel and look like how I am. You'll also notice a decline in people gendering you specifically transmasculinly. Yes, people will assume you're trans, but you will be left to tell people your actual identity. While having they/them used on you can be an issue, I find people ask your pronouns a lot more often when they can't directly assume he/him or she/her. This has led to me gaining a lot of control over my own coming out, and me being able to tell someone my idenity in my words because they can't fit into boxes immediatly. So yes, people may assume you are nonbinary. However, this can manifest in different ways, including people being less likely to assume things as all, if that makes sense.

The issue with being fat and hairy and presenting femininly can manifest in a lot of ways. It's just an assumption that people make that a man who presents femininly must be skinny, hairless, and submissive. The power we have is being able to show people that that isn't reflective of our community. As a guy on here who's gained a lot of following specifically for being a feminine man who is not what people may expect by that description has lead to a lot of people telling me they've experimented a lot more with gender presentation, and that means a lot. I cannot tell you that people will be polite about it. However, I have experienced a lot of love towards me because of those aspects of me as well, and that's really exciting.

I appriciate the ask. sorry it took a few days.

19 notes · View notes

a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire · 5 months

Text

Alright, today Ive read chapters 9-12 and honestly, at a certain point reading this book while knowing all the spoilers stops being frustrating and starts just being funny. Like, Ianthe brings up the fact that people are gonna want to kidnap Feyre for "breeding" to which Tamlin says that no one is gonna dare do that to Prythian's Saviour because then theyll be on the shitlist of the other six courts, but Ianthe says that Rhysand could and would do it because hes The Most Powerful(tm) and hes really manipulative and yeah. shes right. Obviously I know this is gonna be treated as unreasonable and as foreshadowing of Ianthe being evil all along, but shes totally right

Anyway, Rhysand continues to be unbearably annoying but not in any particularly interesting way, so I dont really have anything to say about him. I hate how hes so powerful that six courts all working together would be no match for the night court and he comes across as sooooo insincere. Like, I often talk about not being the biggest Feylin fan because its pretty boring to me, but atleast it was like, sweet because of how genuine and endearingly awkward Tamlin was

Speaking of Tamlin, guess who just keeps getting worse and worse? I had some hope for him when he reduced the guards and gave Feyre more freedom, but then he doubled them again and he did that thing with the barrier around the manor so yeah. Now, if I wanted to be a pedantic asshole I could point out that he listened to Feyre (who managed to very clearly tell him what she needs at the moment, freedom, which was great) and they were doing fine until Rhysand came back, but as much as I would like to blame Rhysand for everything, Tamlin's actions are still his own. And honestly, I find Tamlin keeping any guards around Feyre after what she told him very unreasonable

I think keeping Feyre safe has become a coping mechanism for him because he couldnt protect her from Amarantha back then so now hes trying his best to protect her from Rhysand (and others, but mostly him rn) who was essentially Feyre's very own Amarantha, and obviously its not his fault that thats a coping mechanism he developed, but it is actively making Feyre upset and making it more difficult for her to heal as well, and hes the older one in this situation, hes the guy whos dealt with intense trauma before, he should be listening to her and giving her space

The only thing where I'll kinda take Tamlin's side is him locking her in the manor when he was going to the western border and Feyre wanted to follow them, but even then the force field was way too much. But also, to me it very much seemed like he and Lucien were in a hurry to leave and it was a very hasty spur-of-the-moment decision, but also it felt like the narrative was trying to demonise him more by impling that it was more of a calculated decision. Like, idk thats the vibe that Lucien explaining to Feyre that everyone but her could pass through the shield gave me, but that might just be a personal thing. I mean, Tamlin is clearly being demonised here either way, him being so unreasonable is something that I find very OOC even with the recent trauma hes experienced. But, theres a lot of buts in this paragraph i know, I do also want to acknowledge that Feyre would likely not have wanted to go with Tamlin to this conflict-zone if he had listened to her wayyyyyy earlier and not doubled the guards again. I recognize this kind of behaviour because I also felt like I had no agency over my situation in the past and Im also a very stubborn person, and it lead to me also doing more and more reckless things in an attempt to make the people around me actually listen, and make them understand how serious I was about getting out of the situation that was upsetting me

(In case youre worried, Im completely fine now and Im leaving out a lot of detail for the sake of my privacy and so I can draw a cleaner parallel)

Speaking of Feyre's agency, chapter 12 ended with her having a panic attack because she was trapped and then Mor and Rhysand showed up and Alis just gave them to her??? First of all, insane behaviour, second of all, I hate that Rhysand is meant to be the choice guy or whatever but wont wait for her to come of her own volition. I think it wouldve been better if she had that panic attack and it ran its course and then she either called for Rhys or Mor or managed to winnow to the night court herself and thats how she got there. Also, and this is part of the same issue, I hate that Rhys is the one who originally forced her to read. I think at some point Feyre shouldve realised that all the people in the spring court are withholding information from her but!, she realises that they write shit down sometimes and exchange messages and whatnot so knowing how to read could really help her here and maybe she even thinks about Rhysand taunting her about teaching her UTM, so next time shes at the Night Court she demands that she be taught how to read herself

Because honestly, right now it seems like she has the same amount of agency no matter what court shes in, which is basically none

I was gonna end it on that snappy one-liner, but then I remembered all the stuff with Feyre losing weight and how Rhys remarks upon it and how Feyre notices herself getting thinner as well and I dont have that much to say about it, I just wanted to say that it just made me incredibly uncomfortable

But yeah, now Im done for realsies

#anti acotar #anti acomaf #anti rhysand #anti feysand #tamlin critical #flames and darkness liveblog

14 notes · View notes

kotaka-kun · 2 months

Note

wait please tell me about the trials and tribulations of how radiofish got together, I'm curious now

BOY HOWDY OKAY IM GONNA TRY SO HARD TO BE NORMAL ABT THIS BUT DKDBSKDBSNDHSKDHSJ ALSO IM AT WORK AND THEREFORE ON A TIME CRUNCH DKFHSKDBSKXBSKXBSJXH it took me all day to finish this oops djfbskdbsksn

ok so to start, radiofish is actually the combination of oriental radio (oriraji) (comedy duo) and fishboy (breakdancer). oriraji's nakata atsuhiko is the big brother of fishboy, and they started collaborating just before the release of PERFECT HUMAN. this was a part of nakata atsuhiko's three phase plan for making it big -- first was their first big break that happened upon their debut, with their rhythm skits they called "buyuuden". second was when fujimori shingo (the other half of oriraji) debuted his "charao" personality. and third was using 8.6 byou bazooka's viral rhythm skit to then boost themselves into the PERFECT HUMAN phase.

but i digress.

the trials and tribulations began right from oriraji's debut, from their big break with buyuuden. they were so immensely popular, but behind the scenes fujimori and nakata were basically at each other's throats. nakata wrote the skits, told fujimori what to do and say, and as their popularity grew, so did his arrogance. naturally fujimori felt resentment, but also knew that nakata's confidence was not misplaced -- he was v intelligent and graduated from a prestigious university. meanwhile fujimori came from a family of farmers out in the countryside and could not help but feel inferior.

meanwhile, nakata struggled to connect w their peers and senpai in the comedy field, which was something that fujimori was inherently good at.

this obviously sparked jealousy and resentment and disdain, and with such feelings becoming mutual, it led to discord between nakata and fujimori, to the point that they infamously had a physical fistfight during a live radio show they were guests on.

as the hype around buyuuden died down and there was outside pressure for them to prove themselves to be "real comedians" and try out the traditional style of comedy (manzai), they faded a little from the forefront of the comedy scene (subsequently losing their 3 prime time tv shows they had within a year)

it wasn't until fujimori's "charao" personality took off through his collaborations with ayaman japan that oriraji experienced their second big break. his whole thing became playing the lighthearted, chill, almost-womanizer type of guy, and it was hugely popular. he was featured in commercials and for a while he had a lot more solo gigs as "charao" than they had as oriraji. during this period nakata was essentially left out of the spotlight, and it was a bit of a turning point for the duo...

with the rise in their popularity, they were called in for many tv shows, one of which had them write an exchange journal where they took turns reflecting on their years as a comedy duo and it allowed them to be more honest about their own insecurities, their fears. they moved forward together, eventually bringing back rhythm skits when they decided that they didnt have anything to prove, but the skits themselves were in a new style. they were more music focused, and began to both poke fun at their tumultuous past together, as well as excessively praise nakata for very silly things.

around that same time, 8.6 byou bazooka got their big break with a rhythm skit of their own, and nakata saw a golden opportunity there -- at an event they were at together, he and fujimori performed 8.6 byou bazooka's skit, and it went viral.

it renewed the public interest in oriraji and their buyuuden, which nakata rewrote to poke fun at the fact that oriraji themselves copied another rhythm skit to get another big break.

and then they added on musical/dance performance at the end of their new skit, featuring an original song that fujimori wrote and they sang together.

since then, radiofish has held live performances, sold merch, had pop up shops, as they also continue to be featured on comedy shows. they continue to release music, their most recent single having come out in february of this year.

they released a handful of songs, but the most prominent one -- the one that was featured on that year's red and white song festival which is broadcast nationwide -- was PERFECT HUMAN.

written (in one night at nakata's request no less!) and sung by fujimori and performed by fishboy's dance group, it continued to excessively praise nakata as being the "perfect human" and comparing him to god and it also went viral. they even made a music video that was modeled after the great gatsby.

nakata and fujimori seem to be on overall far better terms and id like to think theyre long past any sort of lingering resentment, but also... a couple of years ago(?) oriraji very abruptly left their management company (yoshimoto) and it came out afterwards that it was a decision that nakata made and didnt necessarily discuss it with fujimori beforehand, which. was an issue...

to my knowledge they both mainly guest star on tv shows, but also nakata has been focusing on his youtube channel where he makes? informational/educational(?) videos... fujimori has been releasing his own original songs on his youtube channel.

i feel like im leaving a lot out but this is already longer than i meant it to be when i first started answering this -- its taken me all day to type all this out so ill leave it here.

kudos to u if u got this far, and thank u for letting me infodump :')

#kotaka talks #infodump #oriental radio #oriraji #nakata atsuhiko #fujimori shingo #this was honestly rly fun to do #but bc i typed it out at work i didnt look up specifics so there might be mistakes #gomen dkxbskxbsmxn

3 notes · View notes

afaramir · 3 months

Note

6, 13 and 21 <3

hiiii coming to you from my lunch break <3 thank u for sending!!

6. which ship fans are the most annoying

man i actually don’t think i have an answer for this one. love is love. but fr i think most everyone ive encountered is really just here to have a good time a lot of times i get annoyed when people are like. talking shit or defending their fave at the cost of other characters (i typed defending their fave and was like Hold On Mx Hypocrite but actually no comment. ❤️) and maybe i just follow the right ppl but i find i haven’t experienced that really in my memory

13. worst blorbofication

got this one a couple times so im saving the obvious answer for later but. OH. I KNOW. PIPPIN. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS WHAT GANDALF MEANS WHEN HE CALLS SOMEONE A FOOL. if you were essentially 16 when you went on a homoerotic voyage to the most dangerous place on earth wouldn’t you also do a bunch of stupid shit on the way. that doesn’t make YOU stupid! pippin is incredibly shrewd and empathetic and sometimes he is PLAYING the idiot and sometimes he IS young and impulsive and lets his first thought run his mouth and goddamn, man, haven’t we all been there? i mean there is no way him and merry escaped the uruk-hai if merry was doing all the work. he offers his service to denethor in payment of a debt that he very very much understands it is impulsive but it is born of loving boromir and seeing the same loss that he feels himself in his father. and yet he is smart enough and also not simply blindly following orders to say the quiet thing out loud at the end. my lord has gone insane. i am mourning as we speak but i won’t let him take his son with him when he goes. like jesus that is. the breadth of his emotional capacity is kind of crazy actually. and um Well. at the end he does understand poor denethor a little better. which 95% of the real adults on this damn website do not. soooooooo what does that say about him huh? (look you tell me to be bitchy and i WILL)

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

this is more of a past opinion that has evolved more into “jesus i WISH i knew what was going on in there because im sure it would eat my brain but i find myself genuinely incapable of understanding” but the feanorian hype was sooo incomprehensible to me when i was younger. 15 year old me: well i can’t fucking tell any of them apart. CANT care about that. i feel like i get it now simply through extended osmotic exposure. in the way that one might get an eldritch horror but still. actually the one thing i do think is absolutely crazy is the way that silm enjoyers will just draw. Anything. and understand which feanorian is being portrayed with idk the power of sorcery or something. Hello? ok maedhros fingon feanor i get. yeah i could also pick them out of a crowd. but the rest? girl. i respect it so much but how are you doing that

#from the inbox #mirkwoods

4 notes · View notes

rollercoasterwords · 1 year

Note

hey rae, i’m experiencing a bit of a moral dilemma (ish) bc like… i’ve always more or less had this view that its wrong on some level to like “police” people on the kind of media they are creating, even mainstream tbh and now… well… let’s just say a little bee flew in rather aggressively into my eardrums and it won’t stop buzzing about the moral implications and suddenly the pretty stable ground that i was standing on is slowing crumbling beneath my feet but like… that’s okay??? i’m accepting the fall bc i’m actually always thrilled to free fall. that is to say, i love the way things around me can make me question my own ideas of what i believe to be true sometimes like i love love love it. i love looking at smth ekth a new lens and more information and then yk, rebuilding thag ground with more stable material. anyways, sry i’m rambling, but you see, everything this bee was buzzing abt started to increasingly make more sense and like, i started to rly think about it in the way of like… evaluating the consequences right? like if a specific media trope has very real contributions to a stigma abt a certain group and manifests in the society in multiple ways, then rly, why can’t i condemn it? bc the way i used to look at it was like “well yes, the media is harmful, but like, i also don’t think we have the right to dictate other people’s liberties when it come to art”. but now… especially considering that this “art” is mainstream and like reaches millions of people, why tf not? bc when you rly put it on the scale, what has more weight, ppl being mad/annoyed that engaging with this is “bad” and they shouldn’t/ being limited in creating it or ppl suffering the real life implications of this. and to make myself a little clearer, the specific thing thag kinda made me realize this more was how media a lot of the times portrays certain mental illness in an overly negative and harmful way, and how in thrn, society discriminates against those individuals in part bc of the skewed perception thag media has portrayed about them. and i feel like this kinda of made me like… think more about this view that i used to defend strongly, and kinda of go, wait, hold up… and i’m still a little like… conflicted bc as much as like i say this, i don’t think there are any viable means of like combatting this issue bc at the end of the day, what creators for mainstream media want is money and these things get them money and so it’s never rly gonna stop, and i still am a little iffy on the idea thag it’s essentially like… an objective moral no no, but like i can see the other side more clearly and it’s just… man it’s so frustrating in a way. and like as much as some ppl may engage with their media critically and liek recognize these stereotypes and shit, a majority of ppl don’t and it’s so frustrating to see itttt. but yeah, idk im still like… gathering materials before fully building this floor, but like, what are your thoughts on this if any? (i’m literally going to everyone with this i an truly a menace, i need to talkkkk abt it like the way this brings me so much joy) (unfortunately i don’t have many ppl in my life that care or are willing to talk to me abt these things) (enter: rae)

hello!! interesting questions!! love that u are embracing the freefall of having a core belief challenged + opening urself to new ways of thinking rather than growing defensive + closing urself off!!

so, what i wanna start off by saying here is this: there is a very broad middle ground between "this art is bad and shouldn't exist/shouldn't be interacted with at all" versus "everyone should just create whatever they want with disregard for the consequences."

because different forms of art are going to be doing different things, reaching different audiences, and sending different messages. and there are plenty of ways that art/literature/media/etc can be harmful. for example, this recent open letter to the new york times is a great example of a critique on the way in which the nytimes' coverage of trans "issues" causes real-life harm to trans people. in this sort of instance, it's not okay for the nytimes to just continue writing as they have, however they want, because they have certain journalistic responsibilites which include not promoting/perpetuating harm against marginalized groups (not that they have an especially great track record in that regard, but i digress). part of critically evaluating media is evaluating whether that media has harmful real-life implications, and, if it does, figuring out whether/how to engage with that media in a way that does not perpetuate that harm.

so like--with the example you're talking about, portrayals of mental illness that contribute to stigma. part of evaluating those portrayals is going to start with asking what kind of media you're looking at, who it's reaching, and what it's trying to do. for example--a movie made by a large hollywood studio that's profiting off a stigmatizing portrayal of mental illness, reaching a broad audience, and contributing to widespread misconceptions is tangibly harmful, and it makes sense to vocally critique that portrayal or perhaps even encourage people not to engage with the movie at all, as it is profiting off something harmful. additionally, hollywood movies are invested in perpetuating a capitalist system such that they will often have an underlying goal of spreading messages/ideas that support that capitalist system, so there is much more to be wary of there in the intent of the media.

a fanfiction on the internet written by an individual that contains a stigmatizing portrayal of mental illness is something that is not accruing profit, not reaching a broad audience, and not harmful in the same way. an individual writing fanfiction on the internet is also not invested in perpetuating broader systems of capitalistic power in the same way a hollywood movie studio is, so the intent of their art is likely different. a better route here is probably to reach out to the individual, who probably wrote this portrayal out of ignorance and would most likely be open to educating themself and avoiding such portrayals in the future. this is a better response than trying to "cancel" the person completely, because it works to build community and has a much more direct impact in breaking the stigma around mental illness by educating an individual who previously internalized those stigmatized views.

when you're trying to critically evaluate a piece of media that contains something you view as potentially harmful, here are some important questions to ask:

who is making this? why are they making it? what is the stated goal of the creator(s) in creating this specific piece of media? are there any other goals that the creator is leaving unsaid?

who is the intended audience of this media? how large is that audience? in what ways is this media catered to appeal to that audience? what responsibilities does the creator hold towards that audience? will the audience response be monolithic, or is there room for varied impact amongst members of the same audience?

is this media a lecture or a conversation? is this media presenting a moral truth that i am expected to accept? or is it presenting moral questions and encouraging me to draw my own conclusions?

what role does profit play in the creation + distribution of this media? what systems of power is this media invested in upholding, if any? what institutions is this media invested in upholding, if any?

these are all questions which, depending on the answers, are going to change your evaluation on the media. this post kind of sums up what i mean, and i talk more here about when art becomes truly harmful. but also, i want to emphasize--engaging with media critically and coming to the conclusion that something is harmful is not the same thing as policing media, at least in my opinion. policing implies reinforcing set rules for how someone can or cannot create/engage with media, which doesn't allow for the necessary flexibility needed for actual critical thought. i think it's also important to note that policing typically says "if this media is Bad, you must destroy it/ignore it completely." but critically engaging with media means acknowledging harmful media when it exists, and analyzing why it exists + what it's trying to do. it also means acknowledging that not all media is going to fit cleanly into the harmful/harmless dichotomy. sometimes media will contain harmful stereotypes or stigmatizing portrayals in one sense, and really important representation or progressive ideas in another sense. other times, a portrayal that feels stigmatizing to one person will feel like representation to another. part of engaging critically with media means evaluating what it's doing as a whole and accounting for both the good and the bad. at the end of the day, we can't solve problems by refusing to engage with them at all, y'know?

#ask #ranting and raving

12 notes · View notes