#though ig i shoudlnt be surprised bc my mom (who is cis and also a fucking amazing trans ally) also needs hormones

[ruthlesslistener]

i fucking hate biomedicalizing anything about being trans because as much as i love understanding the world through a biological science perspective, the last thing that anyone needs is for there to be this quantifiable measurement on 'transness' out there for transphobes to get a hold of but at the same time. sometimes i look at myself- at how fucking sick i got when i was on estrogen and all the physical health problems i had before i went on testosterone and how they all seemed to have magically dissapeared as soon as i got on t- and i can't help but wonder if there's some genuine physical disconnect going on there. like i was physically wired to have a specifically masculine hormone balance and not having it once i hit puberty is why i was so physically fucked up even before i realized i was trans

idk, physiology is a complex mess of things and sex is a multi-tiered system affecting all parts of the body and multiple organ systems so its likely different for everyone bc of that (not even getting into social dynamics) but. the fact that i havent felt crushing fatigue and muscle weakness and unexplained bouts of nausea/gi issues and random bouts of muscle aching or sudden weight gain despite varying my diet and havent had the irregular debilitatingly painful periods or periods that literally never stopped once they started ever since i went on t is something that i cant help but think about

#i mean my mental health has been fucking soaring recently too but thats to be expected from transitioning #what gets me is how im also experiencing an end to what was essentially an undiagnosed chronic condition #granted a good chunk of it is also hypothyroidism but like. i was on meds for that for almost a year before starting t #and i was still experiencing a lot of physical health issues along with it #though ig i shoudlnt be surprised bc my mom (who is cis and also a fucking amazing trans ally) also needs hormones #so perhaps its just genetic #or maybe i was born with female genitalia because of hormone imbalance in the woumb and that fucked me over #because GOD KNOWS that what i have inside me is broke as fuck