#what fucking thanksgiving dinners have you people been having. jesus christ

[leefi]

love being in charge of thanksgiving dinner i taste tested the turkey and went god damn this is the worst bird ive made to date by far but no skin off my back. then dinner rolls around and people are begging me to open a restaurant

#abrahim: im sorry but the cranberry sauce was a little too spicy this year #me (agrees): thats ok barby #abrahim 20 minutes later: actually after having a little more i changed my mind it’s really good #i should use this power for evil or something #woof #guest: the bird is SO moist #me: it’s like drywall actually but thanks? #what fucking thanksgiving dinners have you people been having. jesus christ #anyway here’s a rundown of the dinner. #potato leek soup: what it says on the tin. blended to a puree. the secret ingredient is curry powder and i #dress it with a basil infused EVOO drizzle and top with crispy bacon. #turkey: i brine in an orange-apple cider vinegar-white onion-cinnamon-star anise brine for at least overnight #then cover in a compound butter of rosemary sage oregano and garlic #aromatics in the cavity #the cranberry sauce is made with orange juice star anise and cinnamon. #i also repurposed some of #the cranberry sauce this year to infuse into my candied pomelo rinds #the mashed potatoes are mashed potatoes. idk I hate cooking potatoes I didn’t do anything special there #just a fuckton of butter. it’s meant to be a canvas for the rest of the food anyway. #zayn was in charge of veg because he is a veg god. he did brussel sprouts and roasted sweet potato #and both were a highlight for lots of people. he keeps things simple too but he just knows what herbs and spices to use #he’s so so good at keeping things healthy which imo is a greater accomplishment than what i do #all of my siblings are amazing cooks #oh and for dessert I ordered a lemon lavender cake for Zayn’s birthday and picked up pumpkin and pecan pies. barby brought eggnog

[davinaclare]

s6 might be my least favorite smallville season, at least the first half

lana has alienated everyone in her life since she's with lex, she even goes around blackmailing people on lex's behalf like girl, why are you doing his dirty work? also this "i can't make up my mind" routine is getting annoying, like she goes to live with lex and she has multiple fights with chloe and clark cause they don't think lex is good for her and she gets all mad and tells them off but then when she finds out she's pregnant she acts like someone killed her dog. like she's forced to marry him now? girl weren't you happy? then he gives her the ring and she again doesn't know what she wants and she goes to talk to clark? but once again clark can't tell her his secret cause god knows what fucking reason at this point. like jesus christ lionel knows! you told chloe the identities of the whole justice league why can't you tell her?

and now let's get to clark. oh boy. i've never hated him this much. like where does he get off being mad at lana and lex? you left her. she's making a mistake with lex? fine, let her. she's gonna figure that out by herself. but why is he mad at her for moving on when he knows what he has to do to get her back. it's pretty simple. yet he doesn't do it. so let it go. also the way he acts like chloe's bitter ex whenever she's with jimmy, like?? why? why does he do that? or when he gets mad at her for not telling him about lana's baby or just everytime he gives someone a hard time for keeping things from him really. like dude.. just shut up.

also i may not like oliver that much but he was very on point with some things he said to clark like the fact that he just waits for his enemies to show up. like since he's been back from the phantom zone he's been saying he has to stop the phantoms. so? look for them, fucking do something! he told raya he was gonna wake the fortress back up and train with jor-el. did he do that? nope. cause things go so well when he doesn't listen to him, right? and then he whines to chloe that he's not saving enough people. no shit genius. did he go with oliver and the others to help shut down the 33.1 labs? no he has a wedding to stop. cause in his head lana's a dumb bitch who can't make decisions for herself. who's gonna freak out if she knows he's from a different planet. dude at this point i know her better than that. than him.

lex annoys me too this season, he's just playing at being the perfect husband, mooning after lana, like dude do something evil at least. you were the most interesting character once. lionel is courting martha which is honestly the grossest thing i've ever fucking seen i'm not even exaggerating. everytime he's at the kent farm or he's at dinner with them i feel sick. and what. the. fuck. was that thanksgiving dinner honestly? they even put lionel right next to chloe, like?? what great conversations they must have had am i right? like "miss sullivan remember that time i almost blew you up? good times."

the only joy i have this season is jimmy tbh. i love him and i love him with chloe. i know how that's gonna end too. 😞 but let's enjoy it while it lasts at least.

#this got so long and ranty im sorry #long post #rant #smallville #i needed to get it out lmao

[goldenraeofsun]

just say yes

The latest installment of this verse... or 5 times Dean tries to propose to Cas.

Dean bites his lip as he scans the menu. What the hell is branzino, and where the fuck are the prices? He flips the flimsy piece of cream-colored paper over, but no dice. 

Thank god there’s a steak listed among the five lone entrees. It’s probably five times his normal dinner price tag, but Dean already made peace with putting off buying that 30 year anniversary Rush album. It’ll still be there after his next pay check. 

Cas eyes him over the top of his own menu. “What are you thinking?”

Marry me.

Dean doesn’t say that, though. He has plans. Keep his trap shut until dessert. Tell Cas he’s going to hit the head. Pull a waiter aside and ask for two glasses of champagne. Return to Cas. Hopefully not shit his pants as he proposes. Drink champagne. Go home and have fantastic engaged sex.

Dean has high hopes for the last part of the plan.

“Dean?”

Belatedly, he says, “The steak.”

Cas hums. “That does look good.” He ducks back behind his menu. “I was thinking of getting that too. But maybe not.”

Dean takes a hasty sip of water. “Get the steak if you want it, man. We don’t go to places like this often.”

“I think I’ll get the honey glazed salmon.”

“Sounds good,” Dean says lamely. He drinks more water. At this rate, he won’t have to fake the bathroom run.

Aren’t they supposed to have alcohol by this point? They’ve been sitting at their fancy-ass table in this fancy-ass restaurant for nearly fifteen minutes.

Maybe he shouldn’t have picked the newest five-star restaurant to propose to Cas. He’s already on edge from the pressure, and the pristine white tablecloth isn’t helping. He can already see five ways he’s gonna stain it. There are several forks in front of him. For fuck’s sake, this place has an actual chandelier. Dean hadn’t honestly thought they existed outside of billionaire mansions and Disney movies.

The live music is nice, though. A sedate piano tinkles in the background, barely audible over the buzz of polite dinner conversation.

Dean catches a glimpse of himself reflected in the dark windows to the street. He looks a little sweaty, but not as nervous as he feels, thank god.

This is stupid. He shouldn’t even be nervous.

They’ve talked about marriage before. They’re adults in an adult relationship, so popping the question out of the blue would go down like the time Dean swept Cas away for a surprise camping trip. Turns out, Cas did not like camping. Which Dean would have known if he had asked anytime in the past four years.

But… that marriage conversation was two years ago. Dean wasn’t ready then; they both weren’t. Cas was still in a bad place with Jimmy and Claire, and Bobby had just died, so they weren’t about to roadtrip to Vegas anytime soon.

Now, Claire can have a civil dinner with her parents, and the hole Bobby left in Dean’s life can go unnoticed some days.

The deal is, Dean can’t chicken out tonight. He already told Claire to make herself scarce. She can sleep at her parents’ or at Krissy’s, Dean doesn’t care, as long as she is not crashing on their sofa when they get back from dinner.

Dean would rather read a hundred plagarized student essays on The Very Hungry Caterpillar than admit to Claire he failed to ask Cas to marry him. 

So, proposal time.

The waiter comes by with their drinks and takes their orders. Conversation is a little stilted, but hopefully Cas chalks it up to Dean being outside his comfort zone in this fancy-ass place. There’s no steady thunk of darts hitting a board or clack of pool balls in the background to put him at ease. Just that lame piano.

Cas makes porn noises over his salmon at first bite, which Dean totally doesn’t get. It’s fish.

“How’s your steak?” Cas asks as he surfaces and dabs his mouth with his cloth napkin.

Dean belatedly slices off a piece of his meal and pops it in his mouth. A generically bland compliment dies on his tongue. Jesus Christ - that’s some good cow. It practically disintegrates before he can chew. “Great,” he tells Cas honestly.

Cas hums in contentment.

“And since you’re practically at third base with that salmon,” Dean starts, “I take it-”

“Oh my god!” a woman’s voice squeals behind them.

Dean reflexively turns his head in the direction of the commotion. A few tables over, near the center of the restaurant, a man is down on one knee, and - son of a bitch.

Dean watches, his mouth hanging open, as the woman shouts, “Yes, of course, yes!” Waiters walk past their table with a whole fucking bottle of champagne. People at nearby tables fucking clap.

Dean resolutely turns back around to face Cas, at a loss for words that aren’t extremely loud swears.

“Isn’t that nice?” Cas says mildly.

“Yeah, very nice for them,” Dean says through gritted teeth. 

Of all the goddamn nights. Of all the goddamn restaurants. What are the goddamn chances?

Dean slices into his steak with extreme prejudice. If he could murder the happy couple, he would. With zero regrets.

Fuck it all, Claire’s gonna be insufferable.

  A CHARMING B&B IN VERMONT

Dean wakes up delightfully cozy with Cas spooning him from behind. No memory foam, but the bed is delightfully springy anyway. It was definitely what they needed after a full school day and a nine-hour road trip. Luckily, the owner of the bed and breakfast, a charming older woman actually named Mrs. Butters, was happy to wait up for their late check-in last night. She even had hot cocoa waiting.

Dean had held out a slight hope they could christen their room before they turned in for the night, but Cas passed right out before Dean turned on the lights. Poor guy had to deal with three sets of angry parents, and it was only the second week of school. Something about how their supposed-genius kids should be in AP Latin instead of the Fun Latin class - aka the one for dumbass seniors.

The mid-morning sunlight filtering in from behind the plaid curtains casts everything in a warm glow. The room itself is beyond charming. There’s a legit fireplace next to the bed, and they’re currently nestled under a patchwork quilt. The wood panelled walls give a distinctly rustic feel to the place, despite the reasonably sized television screen mounted on the far wall.

Dean turns over in bed so he’s facing Cas instead of the door. He resists the urge to poke him awake, and instead prods with a gentle, “Cas.”

Cas grumbles wordlessly. Fucker doesn’t even open his eyes, although Dean can tell from how his breathing changes that he’s awake.

“Cas.”

Cas wrinkles his nose and shoves his face into the pillow. “What, Dean?”

Dean can barely make out the words, but he gets the gist from the million times Cas has done the exact same thing. “I smell bacon.”

Cas’s eyes slit open. “So?”

“Don’t you want bacon?”

Cas huffs, and Dean can tell the exact moment he resigns to waking up. “Then go get the bacon. Nobody’s stopping you, Meat Man.”

Dean wiggles in bed, jostling the whole mattress. “Come on, babe.”

“I was sleeping.” Cas raises his head to look squint out the window. “It has to be before ten am. Since when are you a morning person?”

Since today is the day Dean is going to propose.

Instead, Dean reminds him pointedly, “Bacon.”

“Ugh,” Cas groans as he sits up. “I expect at least a blow job after breakfast if we’re leaving bed this early.”

Dean slaps his ass and jumps out of bed before Cas can retaliate. “Up and at ‘em!”

“I hate you.”

“Love you too, Cas.”

* * *

Claire 11:02 Did you ask him yet? If he said no I’ve got chunky monkey waiting

Claire 11:31 That was a joke Uncle Cas will say yes Theres no way he wont

Claire 11:40 If you’re not answering because of sex don’t tell me

Dean sighs as his phone lights up with Claire’s latest text. In the bathroom, Cas hurls again. 

Dean 11:41 No proposal

The bubbles showing Claire’s typing start almost immediately.

Claire 11:41 Are you serious? He’s not goin to turn you down!!!

Dean 11:41 Food poisoning

Claire 11:42 HAHAHAHA

Dean scowls at his phone.

Dean 11:44 Not now, Claire.

Claire 11:44 Wait Seriously?

Dean 11:44 We think it was something he ate at breakfast

Claire 11:44 Oh fuck I’m sorry for laughing

Dean rereads her text. He hasn’t ever received a straight-up apology from Claire before. Unsure of how to respond, he sets down his phone and gently pushes open the bathroom door. “How’re you doing, babe?”

Cas, slumped over the toilet and looking like death warmed over, raises his head an inch. “It seems to be easing up.”

“Really?”

Cas vomits into the toilet again. He groans.

“Shit,” Dean mutters as he crouches next to Cas. He rubs his back with one hand. “Do you think you can get some water down?”

Cas nods, so Dean straightens and fills a glass next to the sink.

As Cas drinks, Dean runs a hand through Cas’s sweaty hair. His forehead has a sickly sheen to it, and the back of his neck feels hot.

“Dean -” Cas breaks off to cough the water right back up into the toilet. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, no,” Dean says quickly as he refills the glass. “Don’t be sorry. This isn’t your fault.”

“But you had all these plans,” Cas moans as he takes the water to try again.

“We’ll do ‘em some other time.” He wets a washcloth and wipes down Cas’s forehead.

“Before Thanksgiving,” Cas rasps, “we’ll come back. I don’t want to miss the leaves changing.”

“Of course,” Dean says soothingly. He moves the washcloth to the nape of Cas’s neck. “On the bright side, you’ve been puking for, like, an hour. There can’t be much left.”

Cas, the dramatic bastard, nearly brains himself on the toilet seat with the force of his next hurl.

  HOMEMADE DINNER

After the disastrous fancy restaurant and B&B, a homemade dinner has to be the way to go. They’ll be in their own goddamn house - that has to cut down on the number of things that can go wrong.

Dean spends a whole week deliberating on what to make. He could do his usual burgers and fries routine, Cas’s favorite, but it should be special.

He settles on beef wellington. Pie for beef!

It’s a bitch to make - both because puff pastry from scratch is no joke, and hiding his first experiments from Cas means inventing increasingly convoluted reasons to get him out of the house. And, sure, every Youtube chef and Great British Bake off contestant has said store-bought puff pastry is fine, but Dean doesn’t want fine, he needs perfect. 

Dean picks a day when Cas has Model UN afterschool. It’s in the middle of the week, but at least Cas is guaranteed out of the house until six at night.

By 5:58, Dean is ready. The Wellington is cooling on the counter; the red wine has been breathing (whatever the hell that does) for the better part of an hour; and he’s showered and made himself presentable.

His phone pings at six pm on the dot. 

Heart sinking with foreboding, Dean taps the screen.

Cas 6:00 I’m going to be late for dinner. There was an accident with chemistry club a few minutes ago. The building had to be evacuated.

Dean 6:00 Are you OK?

Dean takes a moment to hammer the heel of his hand against his forehead. One fucking break. That’s all he’s asking for. One goddamn evening to go right.

Cas 6:00 Yes, and the kids are too. They’re airing out the halls now, but we won’t be let in for another half hour.

Dean picks up the wine with the hand not holding his phone. 

Dean 6:01 What time do you think you’ll be home?

Cas 6:01 7:30 maybe? I’ll keep you updated.

Dean swigs back a gulp straight from the bottle before he can answer. Fuck this.

Dean 6:02 Great! I’ll order pizza when you’re on your way back

Cas 6:02 Meatlovers?

Dean 6:02 Unless you’d like something else

Cas 6:02 No thank you :)

Dean flips on a recorded Jeopardy! episode as he cleans up the kitchen and texts Charlie. He has a free dinner waiting for her if she can hightail it to his place in the next hour and never speak of it again.

  HOMEMADE DINNER #2

If Dean is anything, he’s stubborn. John Winchester raised no quitter. Try, try, and try again. And try a fourth time, when the first three go sideways.

Burgers, this time. They don’t need a days’ worth of prep. And they’ll go over well.

“Dig in,” Dean says as he sets the plate down in front of Cas.

“This looks delicious, Dean,” Cas says sincerely as he picks up his burger.

Dean waits, and he can see the moment Cas tastes the molten cheese stuffed in the middle of the patty. His eyes go wide with surprise.

“Like it?”

Cas nods vigorously and inhales the rest of his burger in record time.

“There’s enough for us to have thirds,” Dean says smugly. 

Cas smears ketchup all over patty number two, and beams at him. “These make me very happy.”

Dean laughs. “That’s the goal-”

Cas’s phone rings.

Dean falters.

Cas stares at him expectantly, waiting for Dean to continue.

“You should get that,” Dean says, his shoulders slumping as he sets his burger down. It’s probably a bad sign he was already half-expecting things to go south. “It’s probably important, or whoever it is would’ve texted.”

“We’re in the middle of dinner,” Cas protests even as he reaches in his pocket to pull his phone out. “It’s Claire,” he says, baffled, before he picks up. “Hello?”

Cas sets down his half-eaten burger. He listens, his brows slamming down forbiddingly as Claire’s voice gets louder and louder, but still not loud enough for Dean to make out actual words. Silently, Cas takes his napkin off his lap and pushes his half-empty beer in Dean’s direction. Finally Cas says, “Yes, of course, Claire.”

Dean frowns as Cas lifts his gaze up to meet his. “Jimmy and Amelia?” he mouths.

Cas shakes his head, speaking into his phone,  “Does Kaia need a pick up from the hospital?”

Dean goes cold. Kaia was actually one of his favorite students. While she was in his class, she won a Scholastic Gold Key and honorable mention for two of her horror novellas and always did the reading. But Dean and Cas haven’t seen her since she broke up with Claire the summer before college.

“Is she okay?” Dean asks quietly.

Cas’s mouth thins. He gives a short nod.

Dean sighs and picks up the plate uneaten burgers. He can probably reheat the patties. The fries won’t keep, though, so he leaves the plate in front of Cas. He shoves a few in his mouth and gets to his feet.

He’s halfway through cleaning the frying pan when Cas gets off the phone with Claire.

“Are you heading out?” Dean asks gruffly while he gives the iron a particularly hard scrub.

“Yes,” Cas rumbles as he wraps an arm around Dean’s waist. “I’m sorry to cut dinner short.”

“Hey, it’s Kaia. ’Course we gotta help.” Dean forces an understanding smile on his face. “I’ll make up the couch while you pick her up?”

Cas squeezes him gently before moving away. “Thank you.”

“You got time for the cliff notes on what happened? Why’d you get the call?”

Cas leans against the counter next to the sink. “Kaia was in a car accident. She’s a little banged up, but mostly fine. A few bruised ribs and a possible concussion.” He shakes his head, disbelieving. “You know Kaia was never especially close with her foster family, so Claire got the emergency call.”

“Huh.” Dean grabs a plate to clean. “It’s been two years since the split.”

Cas shrugs. “I’m not sure what their situation is. I know Claire was surprised. She’s already in her car, and she should be here by midnight. Hopefully she recognizes Kaia’s injuries,” he frowns, “and they won’t try any… any ‘hanky panky’ tonight.”

Dean laughs, and if it’s slightly higher than normal, Cas doesn’t seem to pick up on it. He grabs Cas and kisses him square on the mouth. “You are ridiculous. Nobody says hanky panky. What the hell is wrong with you?”

Cas scowls. “They have to be well past kissing at this point.”

Dean snorts a laugh. “Yeah, that ship has long sailed, dude.”

Cas throws his hands in the air. “We don’t have enough sleeping surfaces to separate them.”

Dean sets the dirty plate down to face Cas fully. “Do you really think they’ll get back together? Kaia broke Claire’s heart not too long ago.”

Cas throws him a look like he wonders where the hell Dean’s logical brain has flown to. “Are you asking if I think couples can get back together after a harrowing break up?”

“… no.”

Cas shakes his head ruefully. “You’re more like Claire than I ever was, and you took me back.”

“Huh,” Dean wipes his hands off on a dishtowel, “you might have something there.”

“You do call me the smart one,” Cas says as he pushes off the counter and heads to the doorway. “It has been known to happen.”

“Smartass,” Dean corrects loudly as Cas grabs his coat and keys.

“Semantics.” Cas doubles back to kiss Dean a proper goodbye, and it’s just as electric as it was when they were seventeen. Cas tastes like Dean’s cooking, and he’s been letting his stubble grow out, the short hairs rasping against Dean’s palm as he cups Cas’s cheek.

“I love you, Dean,” Cas says as he draws away.

Dean grins. “I know.”

Cas huffs an almost-laugh as he heads back towards the door. “Now who’s the smartass?”

  IN BED

Cas, the son of a bitch, falls asleep before Dean can wring out a second orgasm out of him. Such a godamn shame. Just goes to show, they really aren’t teenagers anymore. At least Dean got to use the new vibrator he bought for the occasion and the edible panties. 

Dean flops back in bed. Maybe he should put the proposals on pause. Clearly, marriage isn’t in the cards. He can be a bit dense when it comes to Cas and him, but there’s dense and there’s denial.

It’s been two and a half months. Five proposal attempts. They’re nearly halfway through October, and he’s no closer to getting a ring on Cas’s finger than he was in late August, sweating bullets in that stupid fancy restaurant.

He can’t keep planning and failing to propose to Cas every other week. One, he can’t handle the stress and constant brainstorming. And B, he’s way behind in writing college recommendations and grading his freshman’s essays on Animal Farm. 

Cas isn’t going anywhere. Dean isn’t going anywhere. So Dean can cool the proposals for now and start fresh in January.

  SCHOOL ASSEMBLY

“I hate these,” Dean mutters to Benny. He frowns across the top rows of the bleachers where the seniors are supposed to sit. There are a few notable faces missing, but nobody that belongs to Dean’s homeroom, so he couldn’t give less of a shit. Below them, sit most of the juniors, and pretty much all of the sophomores and freshmen.

“It’s thirty minutes, brother,” Benny says, patting his arm. “You’ll live.”

“Shows what you know,” Dean grumbles back as Jody strides to the middle of the gym, microphone in hand. He asks Benny, “Do you know what this one’s about? Bullying? Cliques? Hugs not drugs?”

Benny shakes his head.

Jody sighs loudly into the mike. Clearly, she wants to be here just as much as he does. “Thank you all for coming,” she starts like any of them had a real choice. “First things first, Halloween is in two days, and while costumes are allowed and encouraged, don’t be racist.” She grimaces. “God help me, I don’t know why I still have to say that. If you are unsure if your costume is racist, it probably is. Wear something else. Secondly…”

Dean tunes her out. Instead, he scans the bleachers again, this time looking for Cas. He should be with the other sophomore homeroom teachers, but there’s no sign of him. Dean frowns. He can’t remember the last time Cas played hooky. And never without Dean. Dick move, Cas.

Movement at the edge of the gym catches Dean’s eye, and he watches, puzzled, as two students roll out one of the old projectors. The overhead lights turn off.

Is Jody seriously going to make him sit through a slide show? They’re wasting a prefectly good Friday morning on a goddamn PowerPoint?

The projector flips on, and the first photo is… of Dean. 

What the fuck? His mouth drops open in horror. In the picture, he’s in his junior year of high school - he can tell from the hair - with a bunch of people he hasn’t seen in fifteen years. Plus Cas, who’s at the next table over in the cafeteria, head bowed over a book and slightly out of focus.

There’s a click, and text scrawls along the bottom of the screen, Destiel Met in Edlund High School Fifteen Years Ago! 

The projector flips to the next photo, this time showing Dean’s senior yearbook picture.

More than a handful of students peer excitedly in his direction, undoubtedly hoping for a reaction.

Scowling, Dean cranes his neck to search the crowd for Charlie’s flaming red hair. She’s the only one who refers to the two of them as “Destiel”. Everyone else uses their names like sane people.

But the projector clicks to a photo of Cas, and Dean can’t help getting distracted. In the picture, Cas is alone at a table in the library. God, he was cute back then. His cheeks were a little fuller, and his hair was curlier. He still had the same intense blue-eyed stare, though. Patented Cas.

It all started with a tutoring session. Young Mr. W needed help in Latin, and our future Latin teacher, Mr. N, was up to the task!

Dean is going to kill Charlie. He tries to get to his feet - maybe she’s hiding behind Jo or something. But Benny’s hand grips his upper arm, holding him in place. “Don’t,” Benny says softly.

“What?” Dean demands as he tries to shake Benny off and fails. “Do you know what the hell is going on?”

“Stay.” The corners of Benny’s mouth twitch like he’s fighting a smile. “Watch.”

Dean huffs a breath and turns back around. If it was anyone else, Jo or Charlie, he wouldn’t trust a word out of their mouths. Benny, though, he’s not the type to make Dean sit through this without a good reason.

But that’s all ancient history. Destiel really got started five years ago, in this very gym.

The projector shows a picture of their class reunion, when Dean met Cas after ten years of no contact. They’re standing pretty close together (but that doesn’t mean much with Castiel What-Is-Personal-Space Novak), and they appear deep in conversation.

Since then, they have been inseparable.

Dean and Cas at a softball game. Dean and Cas at homecoming. Dean and Cas at GSA’s pride party.

Here’s to fifteen more years of Destiel!

The students clap and cheer with more than a few laughs.

Musical Interlude! flashes in front of a picture of Dean playing guitar to a group of pajama-clad students at last year’s Senior Lock-In.

The lights flip back on, and Dean blinks as his eyes adjust. By the time the spots have cleared from his vision, the projector has been wheeled away, leaving the main floor of the gym empty.

A staticky crackle echoes around the gym. And - is that Def Leppard playing on the speakers?

As the intro to Rock of Ages plays, the cheerleading team troops out from the locker rooms. 

They start a routine Dean’s never seen before. To Rock of fucking Ages.

The cheerleaders sings along with Joe Elliot, “What do you want?”

Dean’s mouth falls open as the entire high school chants back, “I want rock and roll. Long live rock and roll!”

By the time they get to the “Rock of Ages” chant, all the students are on their feet, clapping along with the beat and cheering.

The song dies down soon after, and Dean, a broad smile on his face, turns to Benny. “I don’t know what the hell is going on, but I dig it.”

Benny laughs. “Good. He’ll be pleased.”

Dean’s just about to ask who he is (he’s 99% he knows), when Cas walks out from behind the bleachers. 

Cas takes the microphone from Jody. He coughs nervously, waiting for the students to settle back down. “Thank you,” he says to the cheerleading team. “That was... awesome.” He glances up at the assembled students and teachers. “Dean-” he pauses as the cheers and clapping start up in earnest “-can you please come down here?”

But Dean’s frozen to the spot.

Benny gives him a not-so-light jab with his elbow. “Go on.”

Dean shakily gets to his feet and makes his way to the gym floor, and he swears his legs are about to give out from under him.

“Alright, you got my attention,” Dean says with forced bravado. “What’s up, Cas?”

The students hoot and holler.

Cas reddens as they die down again. Clutching the microphone in a death grip, he says, “Dean, we have been together for a number of years.”

Dean grins, a wonderful, all-consuming giddiness filling him the longer he stands in front of Cas. “I know, dude. I was there.”

The students laugh and someone, probably Jo, wolf whistles.

Cas swallows. “I wanted to do this here, where we first met, where you first asked me out on a date, where we had our first kiss.”

“Don’t tell ‘em about all our firsts on school property,” Dean says in a stage-whisper, “or Jody’s gonna have an aneurysm.”

Over a fresh round of student laughter, Jody puts her head in her hands. Donna, the school guidance counselor, pats her a few times on the back.

“Dean Winchester,” Cas says, and, shit, his hands are shaking. “I have loved you for more than half my life, and I look forward to far more than fifteen years by your side. Will you marry me?’

Dean’s not stupid. He had a strong hunch, ever since Rock of Ages played - aka the cassette he put in the Impala the first time he took Cas for a drive fifteen years and a lifetime ago - that this was what Cas was leading up to. 

He’s mostly surprised Cas had the guts to pop the question this way. There was a reason Dean tried to keep his proposal plans mostly to the two of them. One of them is practically a social hermit, and it’s sure as shit not Dean.

“Just say yes, jerk!”

Dean spins around, nearly tripping over his own feet in surprise. Fuck, that’s Sam. His giant of a brother is hovering right outside the gym’s double doors, beaming at the pair of them. Claire gives a little wave from where she’s half-hiding behind him.

Dean turns back to Cas. He can’t think about Sam right now. Or Claire. Or the five hundred students with their eyes on them. 

Only Cas.

“Cas,” he says, and it feels like the whole room is holding their collective breath, none more so than Cas, who looks like he’s about to pass out. “Man, I’ve loved you since I was seventeen. Of course I’ll marry you.”

Cas lets out a shaky exhale of relief, and Dean laughs. He takes the microphone from Cas’s now slack grip, steps all the way into Cas’s personal space, and kisses him.

The cheers from the assembled students are nearly deafening.

#destiel fanfic #fanfic #destiel #teacher dean #teachers au #teacher castiel #profoundnet #established relationship #fluff #the story of us verse #5+1 fic #rae writes fic

[leitmotifz]

birthday reflections

i’ve done this every year since i was 13 as like, a new years / trip around the sun recap. five years pog. honestly i dont even know what’s going on this year but gotta keep up traditions i guess so lets get this baby started

holidays 2020

new years

i spent new years with a few friends, fucking clueless but happy. so so happy and celebrating a whole ass new decade, because time takes so so long to move but takes everything so so fast.

valentines day

went on a date with some guy i found in a denny’s parking lot because i was bored and ready to die. he was really nice at the hole-in-the-wall italian restaurant we went to, but then he said something along the lines of “what would you do if you were princess diana on the night of august 31st, 1997?” so i left my car in the parking lot and walked home. went back the next morning, there were a bunch of fireworks shoved in the exhaust pipe so??? 11/10 for creativity. super funny. side note: don’t do this. it could go a lot worse, and HAS gone a lot worse for others.

spring break

celebrated spring break with a sleepover at a friend’s house, then went into lockdown as soon as i went home. spent the rest of the week reading and getting emails about how we were on break for two weeks. then three. then six. then the end of the school year. then we started online school. then the school year was over. pog.

easter

spent time with my mother, which honestly is what i would’ve done anyway. we made muffins all day and i taught her a random tiktok dance. 

fourth of july

fireworks! lots of fireworks. much arson. had fun with a friend, we busted some roman candles off the roof and talked about the intricacies of lacemaking while blasting hamilton to be patriotic or something.

halloween

dressed up for no reason other than to look like big tiddy anime goth gf. for myself. no parties. ate a shit ton of chocolate and sour candy! watched tiny children walking around in their costumes. i was young once! so i went “crime time” and went to walk around a construction site to feel the thrill of trespassing.

thanksgiving

ate food, watched the parade, and went to dad’s grave. the same as it is every year, except this year there was a lot less family around. it sucked and i loved it at the same time. we had dinner with everyone over zoom. 

christmas

it was good! and then it was bad, but for most of the day it was good. was once again, so fucking clueless but happy. so so happy and excited to meet kennedy and then that didn’t happen so uh. yeah. but things were still good up until that point. decorated cookies and facetimed some important people. just felt loved, y’know?

things to be thankful for

my first thought is to just ask what the fuck im supposed to be thankful for, seeing as it’s gone really fucking downhill these days but. this year was long lets find some shit to be thankful for

what relationships i made or had this year, no matter how long i had them, and some were incredibly short, were worth it, even if i lost them.

my mom jesus christ bless her soul

dogs

i learned how to embroider!

correction, i learned how to backstitch, but that’s all you need to do.

took a lot of photos this year

john mulaney

that cat mug

friends 

the internet haha

things i hope fuck off

this entire week

insecurities. i’m 19 now, i don’t have the time to be insecure in myself.

that one girl in my bio class who looks at me weirdly whenever my tits exist????????????

all these people asking me if i know anything.

hurting

crying oh my god im so over crying and being worried

my lack of toenail polish

overall

dear echo from 2021,

things went bad. things are still bad as of right now, but hopefully kennedy’s back, or you at least know that they’re safe. i hope you have a cat. maybe you’ve moved out, maybe you’ve gone to college properly. if you haven’t, that’s ok too. it’s been a long year, so it’s time to heal. take time to know yourself and understand that you don’t have to give 100% all the time. laugh a little. find people who love you and love them right back. treasure who you have, because it can all go away so fast.

i love you.

#2020 #birthday reflections

[atlafan]

Take it Slow - Part Twenty-Four

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: Smut

Masterpost (all previous parts can be found in the masterpost)

It felt good to get back to work. Getting back into your routine was good for you. A coffee was waiting for you on your desk, and you smiled. You loved that you and Niall kept up the tradition of bringing each other coffee. As you sat at your desk, you emailed your supervisor the video you worked on, on Friday. You got to work on photo-shopping some photos that were sitting in your inbox. After a couple of hours, you had a question about a deadline, so you went down to Niall’s office. He had his eyebrows furrowed at his screen when you knocked.

“Hey!” He said, perking up.

“Morning. I have a quick question about the McGrath project.”

“Sure thing, what’s up?”

“When exactly do they need things by? Seems like they’re looking for a tight turnaround on a lot of work.”

“Think you’ll need the intern’s help on this one?”

“Yeah, if he could work on the audio files for me, just clean them up, it’ll make it easier for me to edit in with the visuals.”

“Alright, I’ll get him on it. I’ll send him a message on Teams to go see you this afternoon when he’s in.”

“Thanks. Did you have a good long weekend?”

“Yeah, although, I’m happy to be back at work.”

“Same here.” You sit down in front of his desk. “Did you like Sarah’s family?”

“They were great, little awkward at first, but not too bad. Did ya happen to bring my dessert?” You giggle.

“Yes, it’s in the breakroom fridge with your name on it, so no one will touch it.”

“Oh thank god, I’ve been dreamin’ of it, thank you.” He looks down, then looks back at you. “So, how was your Thanksgiving?”

“It went way smoother than I thought. My dad was great with Harry, and so was the rest of the family. He’s even going to be taking some pictures of my nephew on in a couple of weeks.”

“Really?” Niall wasn’t sure if you’d tell him about the fight you had with Harry, so he wasn’t going to pry.

“Yeah, my sister-in-law asked him. She said she looked at his Instagram page and loved his work. Oh! And he asked me to go home with him for Christmas. We booked our flights last night, I put in for my vacation time this morning. I’m so excited.”

“Wow, that’s great. Guess we’ll all be on the plane together.”

“I can’t wait to meet his mom and sister.”

“They’re very nice people.”

“Do you think they’ll like me?”

“They’ll love you. So, is that all that happened?” You raise an eyebrow at him, then your mouth falls open. 

“He told you, didn’t he?” Niall just looks at you and nods. “Jesus Christ, you know, it’s like he’s a kid running off to daddy whenever something goes wrong.”

“I’m his best mate, (y/n), of course he was going to come to me.”

“So what, you just give advice on how to deal with me?” You gasp. “Were the flowers your idea?”

“No, he did that on his own.” He sighs. “He just wanted to show you he was sorry. Don’t worry, though I yelled at him.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, I was pissed when he told me what he said to ya. I nearly hit him.”

“You did not.”

“I did! I threatened him for sure. I thought he was going to throw up, he felt terrible.”

“I forgave him.”

“He told me.”

“My Nannie found out about what happened.” You say looking down.

“You told her?!”

“I had no choice! My fucking mom brought it up basically right in front of her.”

“Why’d she do that?”

“I can’t even get into the stupidity that is my mother right now. But I’m glad I told her, she gave me some advice on some other things too.”

“Well, that’s good.”

“I’m seeing them tonight. Harry’s gonna pick me up here, and then we’re driving home to have dinner. I’m hoping to just go out with my Nannie, he said he’d distract my mom.”

“What about your sister?”

“I’m praying she’ll just stay in the basement.”

“So is everything all good with you and Harry now?”

“Yeah, we made up.” You blush. “Well, I better get back to work.”

“Lunch later?”

“You bet!”

//

Around two in the afternoon, your intern showed up.

“Hey, Matt, how were your classes this morning?” You smiled at him as he set his laptop up at the other side of your desk.

“Good, much rather be here though. How was your morning?”

“Productive. Did Niall tell you what I need from you?”

“Yup.” He takes out his headphones and plugs them into his laptop. “You need me to clean up the audio for that project.”

“Yes, it’s a little too fuzzy. I don’t know what equipment was used to record it, but it sounded terrible. Guess if you want something done right you have to do it yourself.” You scoff.

The two of you work together the rest of the afternoon. He moved to sit next to you so you could compare clips. He was leaned in pretty close to you, but you didn’t think much of it. The time got away from you, you didn’t realize it was ten of five.

Harry decided to come into your office to pick you up. He wanted to say hi to Niall. The two of them were walking down to your office, both of them stopping short when they saw you giggling with Matt. Harry cleared his throat, breaking you from your giggles.

“Harry!” You beamed. You look down at the time. “Shit, I didn’t realize it was so late. Matt, you’re good to go for the day, sorry to have kept you. Great work today.” You smile at him. His face flushes a bit.

“Um, thanks. I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon to help with this project some more.”

“Sounds good. I have some meetings in the afternoon, but you can feel free to work in here.”

“Alright, thanks.” He grabs his things and looks at Niall. “Good evening Mr. Horan.”

“Matt.” He nods.

Harry eyes the boy who simply smiles at him nervously.

“Niall, Matt is crazy talented. We were already to combine the clips.”

“That’s great. The sooner this project is done, the better. I hate workin’ with these people.”

“Same, they’re too picky.” You grab your things, and give Harry a kiss on the cheek.

“So, who was that kid?”

“His name is Matt, he’s our media intern.” You say. “He comes in a few times a week.”

“Does he mostly work with you?”

“Yup, and with the people on our social media team.”

“Whatsa matter Harry, ya jealous of a little boy?” Niall teases as you all walk out to the parking lot.

“Shut up, ya twat.” Niall laughs.

“You guys have fun tonight.”

You both get into Harry’s car.

“How was your day, baby?”

“Good, actually. Got caught up on some stuff I needed to get done.”

“That’s good. Hey do you think we could stop at a Walmart or something on the way home tonight? I printed a picture for my desk that I want to get a frame for.”

“Sure, we can do tha’. What picture ya print?”

“Just one of my baby.” You poke his dimple.

“Just one of me, not the two of us?”

“I don’t need to look at a picture of myself all day.”

“Which one was it?”

“The one where you look like a model, from our weekend trip.” He takes your hand and kisses it.

There wasn’t any traffic, surprisingly, so you get home in about forty-five minutes. Harry preoccupies your mom, so you’re able to take your Nannie out for dinner. This was the first time you drove Harry’s car, it felt great. You and Nannie had a wonderful dinner together. You laughed so hard your water came out your nose. She’s not supposed to have dairy, but she did, so when she belched at the table you lost it. It felt like old times with her.

When you got back to your mom’s, Harry was hanging out in the kitchen with your mom and…oh no.

“Glad I could finally meet your boyfriend.” Your oldest sister, Bridget, says to you.

“Oh, yeah, well if you had been at Thanksgiving, you could’ve met him then.” You give her a small side hug.

“I was there, you just got there late.”

“Okay, well, we need to head back before it gets super late.” You give your Nannie another hug and kiss, and say goodbye to your mom.

The car ride was quiet at first. You teared up a bit after saying goodbye again, but you felt better than yesterday.

“So, how was dinner?” he finally asks.

“It was great! I laughed so hard my water came out of my nose.” You giggle.

“Really? Wish I could’ve seen that.”

“Um, how long was Bridget around?”

“Only a few minutes. Your mum made me this big salad, it was delicious.”

“She’s good at whipping up a salad.”

“Bridget is…interesting.”

“That’s one way to describe her. She’s so awkward, isn’t she?”

“A little, yeah. More like socially awkward?”

“Yup, that’s it exactly. Thanks again for doing this tonight. I feel much better.”

You and Harry stop off at Walmart so you can grab your frame, and then go back to your apartment. You both were exhausted by the time you got back that you both went straight to bed. The next morning, you got up and did your thing, leaving him dead asleep. You kiss his forehead before you go.

//

You set up the picture of him on your desk. It distracts you most of the day, how could one man be so beautiful? You go to your meetings, and Matt is at your desk when you come back.

“Hey Matt.” You smile, sitting down.

“Afternoon. How were your meetings?”

“Tiring.” You sigh. “Sometimes things could easily be solved with a quick email. You’ll learn that soon enough.”

“So that guy yesterday with Mr. Horan”, he points to the picture of Harry on your desk, “was that your boyfriend?”

“Hm? Yeah, his name is Harry.” You look at the photo and smile. “Niall actually set us up a few months ago.”

“No offense, but he’s not the guy I’d picture you with. He looked a little scary.” You laugh.

“Oh god, he wouldn’t hurt a fly. He actually cleans up pretty well. He works at a more casual place so he doesn’t have to be dressed up like us.”

“Lotta tattoos.”

“Yup. He’s so great, never thought I’d be with someone so great.” You smile at him. “You don’t have a girlfriend or boyfriend?” He laughs nervously.

“Not at the moment, and it would be a girlfriend.”

“I didn’t want to assume.”

“No, no, I get it. I sort of just date around. Relationships are complicated in college.”

“Oh believe me, I remember. I’m only a couple years older than you.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot.” He smiles. “When did you graduate?”

“2017.” You clear your throat and look back at your computer to keep working.

“Wow, really close in age.” He says looking back at his laptop. “I turn twenty-one soon.”

“Oh!” You say looking at him. “That’s exciting! When?”

“Next month.” He looks at you with a grin. “Any good bars you’d recommend?”

“Well, if you’re hoping to do something fun with your friends, I would just go to Pinz. There’s so much to do there.”

“Oh yeah! I’ve been there before, but they kick you out early if you’re underage.” He laughs. “But I’ll definitely ask my friends if they wanna go. Thanks for the suggestion.”

“You’re welcome.”

The time got away from the two of you again, diligently working on your tedious project, taking small breaks to chat and tell stories from your days in college. Matt was a good kid, it was nice that you were sort of mentoring him. You two were laughing about something when you heard a knock on the opening of your door. It was Harry again, who was holding a small plant. He was also dressed nicely in his khakis and a button up.

“What’s all this?” You ask excitedly, getting up to greet him. Matt watches you walk over to him.

“Thought I’d surprise ya.” He kisses you on the cheek. “You don’t have any plants in your office, thought you could use one. They’re supposed to help brighten your day.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet!” You hug him. Matt makes a coughing noise. “Sorry, Matt, forgot you were here for a second.” You blush, and look down at your watch. It was just about five. “Save up your work for the day and feel free to head out. I’m definitely done for the day. Great work this afternoon.” You smile at him going back to your desk to power down your computer. Matt can’t help but glance at your butt as you lean over your keyboard. You were wearing your navy dress that no man would be immune to.

“Could you sign this? My advisor wanted to make sure I’m actually showing up for my internship.” He hands you a slip of paper. You read it over then sign.

“Here ya go.” You pack up your things as he closes his laptop. Harry watching him carefully from the doorway. Ready to throttle him if he checks you out again.

“Oi, look what the cat dragged in.” Niall says, passing your office. “Back again?”

“Suprisin’ my girl with a nice dinner.”

“How romantic.” He rolls his eyes. “Come to think of it, I’m actually doin’ the same with Sarah tonight.”

“Aw, the two best boyfriends in the world.” You say putting your jacket on. “Well, goodnight Matt.”

“Night, thanks for another great afternoon.” He smiles. He looks at Niall and Harry who both have their arms crossed. “Um, gentlemen.” Both nod at him, and watch him leave.

“Jesus, (y/n), he’s got it bad for you.” Niall says.

“Stop, he does not.”

“I have to agree with Niall, he was checkin’ ya out, babe.”

“What? When?” You all start walking out of the building, toward the parking lot.

“When you stuck your ass in his face.” Harry says cheekily.

“I did not do that!” You scoff. “He’s a nice boy, and he does great work.”

“It’s true, he’s talented.” Niall starts laughing. “But he definitely has a crush on you. He was in the break room the other day with some of the older ladies, and apparently he went on about how great you are.”

“He did not.”

“He did!”

“Shit, should I talk to him? Hopefully he got the hint today, I practically doted on Harry in front of him.”

“You did?” Harry smiles.

“Yeah, he asked if you were my boyfriend, and I said yes and told him how great you were.” You start laughing. “I also think he’s a bit scared of you.”

“Good.” Niall and Harry say in unison. You swat an arm at the both of them.

//

Harry had taken an uber to your office so you could take your car. He didn’t let you drive though.

“So where exactly are you taking me?”

“Just to a simple restaurant.”

“Okay, but tomorrow we’re cooking.”

“Already got groceries for that. Went shoppin’ at lunch today.” You lean across to give him a kiss on the cheek.

“My sweetie.” You coo.

Harry took you to a nice little vegetarian restaurant. You both had a quick veggie burger. You let him pay since it was all part of a surprise evening.

You kicked your shoes off when you got inside, and hung up your coat. You plop down on the couch, and turn the TV on. Harry sits next to you and mindlessly takes your hand in his.

“You good with The Office?”

“You bet.” He smiles at you. You both put your feet up on the coffee table.

“So, what made you wanna surprise me tonight?”

“Don’t know.” He shrugs. “Thought about ya all day. I really need to get my ass outta bed in the morin’ to give ya a proper goodbye.”

“Oh, but you’re so cute when you’re sleepy. I love giving you a little kiss goodbye.” You lean next to him. He puts his arm around your shoulders, and you lean in further. You put a hand on his thigh.

You loved moments like this, these simply domestic times where you just enjoyed each other’s company. It was nice having someone to binge watch TV with. You got to the dinner party episode of The Office. When Michael says, “You know I have sensitive teeth, how could say that?” You completely lose it. You have to pause the episode because you’re laughing so hard. You start crying from laughter. Harry starts laughing at your infectious laugh.

“Was it really that funny?”

“Yes! I forgot, hahahaha, I forgot he said that!” You can barely breathe. “God, this episode is incredible.” You wipe your eyes. Harry giggles at you.

“I think someone might be tired.”

“I think you’re right.” You sigh. “Shall we?” You stand up and take his hand.

You both brush your teeth and wash your faces, a habit you had gotten Harry into. He used to only washed his face in the shower, you showed him the error of his ways.

“Baby, could you unzip me please?” You ask as he’s just taking off his shirt.

“Sure thing, love.”

Harry comes up behind you and unzips your dress. You reach behind yourself and unhook your bra immediately. Sighing at the relief from the tight material. You push the top of your dress down, Harry peels your bra off the rest of the way, looking at your back.

“Jesus.” He says, tracing over the red marks on your back. “No wonder you hate wearin’ these things.”

“I just need to buy some new ones.” You walk over to your dresser, half dressed. “Maybe you could come to the mall with me this weekend?”

“Sure.” He stifles a laugh. You put your hands on your hips.

“What?”

“Nothing, you just look cute like that.” You look down at yourself and start laughing.

You slide your dress the rest of the way down and put it in your hamper. You slip a t-shirt on over yourself, and slide your panties off, sighing again.

“Why didn’t you change when we got home? You could’ve been way more comfy.” Harry says taking his pants off.

“I’m just so lazy, it’s too much work to change sometimes.” He rolls his eyes playfully at you.

You both get into bed, it was only a little after nine, so you both stay up a while longer. Harry takes out his book from the night table he used on “his” side of the bed. You scroll on your phone. He took out his reading glasses as well. You secretly loved when he’d wear them. It wasn’t often.

“Is that a good book babe?”

“Hm?” He says taking his glasses off to look at you. “Oh, yeah it is.”

“What’s it about?”

“Nothin’ special, just a romance novel.” You try not to laugh. You didn’t want to make fun of the things he liked. “I know, it’s silly, but I like them. I don’t have to think too much while I read ‘em, you know?”

“Yeah, I get that. I like to read on my phone, really tires my eyes out.”

“I try not to screen before bed if I can help it.”

“You’re better than I am. I literally need my phone to fall asleep.”

“Well, s’not the only thing that makes you sleepy.” He smirks at you. “I can think of another thing that really tuckers you out.” You put your phone on your night table.

“What’s that?” You ask, knowing full well what the answer is.

Harry leans in close to you, giving you a deep kiss. You moan as his tongue enters your mouth, tasting the mint from your toothpaste. Your hands move to pull him on top of you, wanting to feel his full weight on you. One of his hands goes into your hair, and the other to your hip. Your hands are on his lower back while your legs wrap around him. He bit down on your bottom lip, and sucked on it, causing you to moan again. The hand on your hip goes up under your shirt, and grips your full breast. His fingers twist your nipple piercing. You groan into his mouth, your lips moving to nip at his jaw and neck.

“Go ahead, bite me baby.” He says into your ear.

You sink your teeth into his tender skin, and he rolls his hips into you. You suck on him slowly, sliding your tongue over his skin to soothe him the second you taste a little of his blood.

“God, that feels so fuckin’ good.” He growls.

Harry lifts your shirt up over your head, and dives his head into your breasts. He leaves wet kisses on both, before taking your left nipple between his teeth. You arch up into him, loving the way the sensation feels.

“Harry.” You moan.

“Bet you could come, just for me doin’ this.”

“Fuck.” He sucks on you harder.

“But I don’t feel like gettin’ ya off that easy.” He reaches down between your legs and smirks. “Always so wet for me, love.” He looks at you. “I’d like to have a taste, that alright?” You nod your head yes. “Like to try it a little differently, could we do that?”

“How, um, shit, how do you want to um…” You can barely get a word out while he plays with your clit.

“Well, I’d like you to flip over, so I can do it from behind.” You sit up against the headboard and give him a look. “What just happened?”

“I don’t know if I want my ass in your face like that.”

“It’ll be just like when we-“

“No, it’s different. I mean, what if you accidentally lick my asshole or something?” He just blinks at you as his cheeks grow red. “That wouldn’t gross you out?!”

“Not really, you’re a pretty clean girl. You shower every chance you get.” He chuckles. “Sometimes things happen in the heat of the moment. I’d lick ya anywhere you wanted.” Now your cheeks are growing red. “But if it makes you uncomfortable…”

“Why do you want to do it that way?”

“Well, to get ya feelin’ real good, and then I’d like to slip my fingers in from behind.” Your eyes grow wide.

“Oh, I see.”

“If you don’t want-“

“Go turn the light off.” He smirks, and does as you say.

Harry comes back from the bed, and waits for your to flip onto your stomach. His hands find your hips, and brings your butt up closer so you’re on your knees and elbows. He gets right behind you and kisses you on each shoulder, biting down hard and sucking the way he likes to do to you. He places light kisses down your back. His hands grip your ass, and you gasp when he bites down on one of your cheeks.

“Alright?”

“Yes.” Your breathing is getting heavy. “Just wasn’t expecting that.”

“Can I do it again? You have such a nice ass.”

“Mhm.”

He bites down on your other cheek and you gasp again. Why did it feel so good? One of his hands reaches around to rub your clit. He takes it away and rubs you from underneath, a finger running up and down your wet slit.

“Harry.” You moan.

“I’m takin’ my time, be patient.”

His hands spread your cheeks apart, then uses his thumbs to spread your lips apart. You feel his tongue dive into you without warning.

“Shit.” You groan.

He licks and sucks on you, drinking in your wetness. He drags his tongue up and down in the most sensual motions.

“Oh, Harry.” You moan, sinking your nails into your pillow.

His groans send vibrations through your body. You push back on his face, making him lick and suck harder. His tongue drags up from your center to just under your button.

“If you do that I swear to god I will not kiss you for a week!” He lifts his head.

Without saying anything, he takes his hand and rubs your wet center and drags a thumb up to bring your wetness to just under where his tongue was previously.

“How ‘bout this?”

“You can rub it, but don’t stick it in.”

He rubs his thumb around your hole and you can’t help but moan. It felt good, in an odd way. You felt his middle finger slide into your dripping pussy. Your back arches.

“Good?”

“Yes, more please.”

He slowly slips a second finger in, feeling you tighten around him. Your walls soft and spongey, making him moan as he starts to pump in and out of you. His other hand reaches around to rub your clit.

“Fuck, Harry.”

“Do you like feelin’ me, so deep?”

“So deep, so good.”

Your legs start to shake, you can barely keep yourself up. You’re panting and moaning his name over and over.

“Go ahead, come for me.”

Your hands rake into your pillow as you release all over his fingers. He wasn’t done with you yet though. Harry sucks off your juices from his fingers, and flips you back over. Without giving you a chance to catch your breath, his mouth is on your clit.

“Fucking Christ!”

His tongue darts back into you as his thumb works your clit. Your hands are in his hair, grabbing on tightly. Harry groans into you repeatedly.

“Harry! I’m gonna ahhhhh..” You release onto his tongue. You were drenched in sweat, but he still wasn’t done with you.

Harry puts his mouth back on your clit, and slips two fingers back into you, curling them up in a come here motion. What was he trying to do to you? It didn’t matter. You couldn’t think straight.

“Ah!” He hit your g-spot. He smirks while continuing to nibble on your clit.

He continues to pump in and out of you while hitting the spot. You feel your stomach start to tighten again, and your legs are quaking. You tighten yourself around his fingers.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit!” You scream, slamming your head into your pillow, arching up fully off the mattress. Harry let out a loud groan of your name.

He shifts himself, before he can lick up your juices, you pull his head up by his hair.

“Please.” You say with your eyes closed. “Please, let me tap out. It’s too much.” Your legs were still shaking a bit, and your chest was heaving. You open your eyes to look at him. He had a big smile on his face.

“Didn’t I tell you once I could do this for hours if you let me?”

“But Harry.” You whine. “It’s a school night.” He giggles at you and gets off the bed. “Where are you going, I want to reciprocate.” He takes his boxers off, and grabs a different pair.

“You did already.” You prop yourself up on your elbows.

“What?”

“I came in my shorts. You were so wet, and just tasted so good, I couldn’t hold on.” He gets back into the bed with you. He kisses you on the top of your head. Your mouth agape. “What?” You can’t find words, your head was still spinning. “Speechless?” He smirks. You nod your head yes. “C’mere, let’s have a cuddle.”

You lay your head on his chest, not caring that you’re too hot to cuddle. He really did know what it took to tucker you out. You were just about to fall asleep when you realized you needed to pee.

“Shit, I have to go clean myself up!”

“How come girls always need to pee after sex?”

“You gotta clean up after someone goes down on you, or you could get a UTI, girls get them easier than guys, and they are painful.”

“You’ve had one before?”

“Only once.” You shudder. “Not something I would wish on my worst enemy. It’s the most uncomfortable thing in the world.” You get out of bed and fall to the floor. “Oof!” Harry crawls to the edge of the bed and raises an eyebrow at you.

“Are you alright?”

“Yup, just didn’t quite have my balance.” You stand up slowly. Your legs were really shaky.

You rush into the bathroom, and pee to clean yourself up. You come back and slowly get into bed. Oh yeah, you were going to be sore in the morning.

“Ya good?”

“Mhm.”

“Turn over so I can spoon ya.” You giggle and give him a quick kiss before turning over. “I love you baby, goodnight.”

“Love you too, sweet dreams.”

//

You woke up extremely groggy the next morning, and actually hit snooze when your alarm went off; something you never did. You actually hit snooze twice. By the time you got up, you could only shuffle around you. You were sore all over. Between the way his fingers went in and out of you, and how roughly he rubbed your clit, you wanted to slap him upside the head for making you walk like you had a stick up your ass. You opted for a pair of black slacks, a blue blouse, and a light grey blazer. You left your hair down and curly, not having the energy to straighten or put it up. Really, even if you had just run your blow dry through it, it wouldn’t have looked like such a mess. By the time you washed our face and got dressed, you realized you just did not have time for a full face of makeup. So you put some concealer on and the couple of blemishes you had, and finished up in the bathroom.

You glared at him sleeping happily, face shoved into the pillow. You weren’t really mad at him. You were more so mad at the fact that you had to leave him. He was so cozy and warm. Harry’s work days were so different from yours, most of the time he didn’t have to up until eight, when you already needed to be at work. You wobble over to him, and kiss the top of his head, and leave the bedroom.

You stop off for yours and Niall’s coffees, and go straight to his office. He looked tired this morning too. You remembered that he and Sarah had a date last night as well. You walk right up to his desk, and plop his coffee down, without saying much, you both grunt at each other.

Just as you’re sitting down at your desk, you see him appear in the doorway with a smirk on his face.

“What?”

“You look terrible, you know that?”

“You came all the way down here to tell me that?” He chuckles.

“Are you alright? You look paler than a ghost.”

“You’re such a dick!” You giggle. “I’m just not wearing any makeup today.” You see your reflection in the computer screen. “Jesus, and my hair looks worse than earlier.” You scramble in your desk drawer and take out an elastic. You stand up, bend over, and put your hair up in a messy bun. “Is this any better?”

“Sort of…did you not sleep well?”

“No, I slept fine. Probably went to bed a little too late, and I made the mistake of hitting snooze this morning. I swear it’s always worse if you don’t just get up.”

“What did you and Harry do last night?” Flashes of your three separate, incredibly intense orgasms come to your mind and you shiver as you feel a pulse run through you.

“Um, we just went to dinner, you know, watched a little TV.” Niall steps in more to your office, and closes the door a bit. He crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow. “What?”

“Get a little frisky did ya? S’okay, I did too.” He sighs happily. “Hadn’t seen Sarah since Friday.”

“I’m so glad you too are doing so well.”

“Me too. So, go on, gimme the details.”

“You’re like a little school girl!” You swat at him, and lean against your desk. “We just tried some different positions.”

“Ah, so that’s why you’re walkin’ with your ass clenched.” He laughs.

“Why were you looking at my ass?” You laugh harder.

“I wasn’t, but I noticed you were walkin’ funny.” He gasps. “Did you two do it?”

“No.” You say bluntly.

“Then what could he have done to ya?”

“He...” You blush and close your office door all the way. “Fingered me from behind.” You whisper looking down at the ground. “But that wasn’t it. He flipped me over immediately and did it again, and then…he just kept, you know, going.” You make eye contact with your friend who has a smirk on his face. “It was like, primal or something. I don’t know, I had to tap out eventually.”

“He has sex like a lesbian, I swear to god.” You both start laughing.

“What do you mean?”

“You know, like, girls just keep going until they can’t go anymore.”

“How would you know that?”

“We had some friends in college that were lesbians, told us a whole bunch of tricks. Your friend Rachel hasn’t ever mentioned anything to you?”

“Not really, though, come to think of it, when she would bring a girl over…well, they’d be in there for hours.”

“Exactly. I think as long as you’re not lettin’ him stick it in, this is how it’s going to be.”

“I’m not complaining or anything.”

“No, I know, but he’s just going to come up with more creative things like this until you can’t stand it anymore.”

“Oh, so this is just some covert operation for him to get his dick wet?” You scoff. “He doesn’t even need me to touch him to get off, Niall. He just likes doing that.”

“What in the fuck do you mean?”

“He has come, and will come, from just being down there.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“I’m serious! It happened a lot when we first started getting intimate, then it sort of stopped the more I reciprocated. It really turns him on.”

“Jesus, no wonder he had a fuckin’ line of women out his door. It was like a fuckin’ deli counter at our apartment sometimes.” He shakes his head, and notices your fallen face. “Sorry, I shouldn’t mention his past to you.”

“S’okay.” You shrug. “It was before we knew each other. I wasn’t exactly a prude myself.” You sigh. “Did he really sleep with that many women?”

“Do you really wanna know the answer to that?”

Before you can answer, there’s a knock on your door. You reach around Niall to open it, and see your supervisor. She gives you both a funny look, wondering why your door would be closed with just you and Niall.

“Good morning you two. A little meeting before the meeting?”

“Just catchin’ up on the gossip to wake up a bit.” Niall says. He was better at smoothing things over than you were. “Shall we? Just need a second to grab my laptop.” You grab yours and head for the conference room.

“Are you feeling alright?” She says to you as you both walk down the hall.

“Um, yeah, just a slow start this morning. Didn’t have time for makeup.”

“Ah. Happens to the best of us.” You both smile as you sit down in the swivel chairs in the conference room. Niall comes bouncing in.

You have a discussion about the project you and Matt have been working on. Your supervisor is pleased with how much has gotten done already, and tells you to keep up the good work. You can’t help but feel like her eyes keep traveling to your neck, you realize that since your hair is up, the splotch Harry left on your neck is visible. And since you didn’t have time for makeup, you didn’t even think to cover it up. You nonchalantly put your hand over the spot as she speaks with Niall about what’s needed next.

After the meeting you go into the bathroom with the flat iron you keep in your desk, and tame your hair, now able to leave it down.

“You feel okay?” Matt asks, coming into your office.

“Christ, if I had a dollar for every time I heard that today. Didn’t realize I wasn’t allowed to not wear makeup.” He sits at the chair on the other side of your desk.

“Sorry! I shouldn’t have said anything.” You sigh.

“It’s fine, I’m just really tired.”

“Long day?”

“Yeah.” You say, not wanting to elaborate further with your twenty-year-old intern. After what Niall mentioned yesterday, you thought it would be good to be a bit colder to him. “It’s like five hundred degrees in here today, excuse me.” You get up to take your blazer off, and hang it on the back of your door. You open your office door up all the way to get the most airflow. Matt can’t help but look at the small bit of cleavage peeking through the top of your blouse.

About an hour into working together your phone starts to buzz, you smile when you see Harry’s name. Matt had his headphones so you figured he wouldn’t mind if you took the personal call.

“Hey you.” You say.

“Hey babe.” He says warmly.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing, had a quick break, thought I’d see how your day was going.”

“Aw, that’s sweet. It’s good, I’m a little tired.”

“I heard your alarm go off a couple times.”

“I hit snooze.”

“You never do that.”

“Well, like I said, I was tired.”

“We didn’t go to bed that late.” He was being coy with you. He wanted you to say out loud, just exactly why you were tired. Normally you would, but you didn’t want Matt to risk hearing you.

“Um…Matt’s here in my office, so I can’t really…be cute with you right now.” You say, cheeks flushing. Matt looks up at you, and notices your nervousness.

“Ohhhh, I see, so you don’t want him to hear that you’re tired because your boyfriend went to town on your pussy last night?” You stand up immediately and walk to the other side of your office.

“Harry.” You whisper harshly. “Stop it.”

“What?” He chuckles. “Alright, alright, don’t wanna getcha all hot and bothered without me there to take of ya, I see.”

“Seriously.” You feel yourself starting to sweat, and an ache brewing within you. “You know,” You whisper carefully, looking over your shoulder to make sure Matt is still working. “I could barely walk this morning? Looked like I had a stick up my ass.”

“And you’re blaming me?” He asks sarcastically.

“Who else is there to blame? I mean, I could take it a step further and say your fat fuckin’ fingers.”

“Hey, your intern is there, remember? And my fingers were only fat because my rings were still on. They get a bit swollen at the end of the day.”

“So I’ve noticed.” You glance at Matt again. “He can’t hear me, I moved, and he has his headphones in.” You sigh.

“Only a few more hours. I think you’re really gonna like dinner tonight, I’m excited to make it for you.”

“You’re so sweet.” You yawn. “Alright, I better go, I love you.”

“Love you too.”

You shake your head and sit back down, giving Matt a half smile. Little did you know he had paused the music he was listening to, and heard every bit of your conversation. Well, at least your half of it. His cheeks were a bit red.

“I just need to go, um, refill my water bottle.” He says.

“Sure, you don’t need my permission, not like you’re in class.” You smile.

Matt was a pretty good looking guy. He was tall, not as tall as Harry, but still a good height. He had a little muscle on him, but he was lean, definitely not a football player. You recalled that he was on the club rugby team at his school. He had light brown hair and hazel eyes. He was incredibly nice and trustworthy when it came to getting his work done. You were thankful for having an intern this semester.

He returns in a few minutes, taking a big gulp of his water, and gets back to work. Your afternoon is more quiet than usual, but he needed to know this was a place of work, and not a place for him to lust after you. You picked up on more of when he would take small glances of you, and when his eyes would dip to your chest. You didn’t feel uncomfortable, but it was something you were keeping your eyes on.

“So, I, uh talked to my friends about Pinz.” He says, you take your earbuds out.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, they said it was a great idea. We’re planning this huge party. A couple of my buddies turn twenty-one next month too.”

“That’ll be fun, Matt.” He loved when you said his name.

“Thanks again for the suggestion.”

“Any time.”

“What did you do for your twenty-first birthday?”

“Well, my birthday is over the summer, so my girlfriends and I rented out this beach house on the seacoast. We had a big party, but it was also fun to just be on the beach for a long weekend with my closest friends.”

“You’re lucky to have a summer birthday. Way more party options. I feel like as a kid we always had to do like movie theater parties and stuff like that.” You didn’t want to get into childhood birthday parties, or think of the fights your parents had the two times you were allowed to have a party. You simply nodded along.

Your phones goes off, and you see a text from Niall. You open it to see he sent you an image, a meme from an inside joke. You burst out laughing, and can hear him laughing from his office. You get up to go down the hall to laugh with him. Matt is thoroughly confused when you come back in, wiping tears from your eyes.

“You two are close, huh? You and Mr. Horan?” He asks as you sit back down.

“Oh, yeah. We’ve been friends since I started here. We sorta latched onto each other since we’re two of the younger people in the office. Not that I don’t like other people we work with, but it’s nice to have someone to relate to. He’s only a couple years older than I am.”

“And you both just clicked right away?”

“Yeah.” You smile, thinking back to the day you first met Niall. He was still dying his hair blond back then. “We have a lot in common, same sense of humor. We started eating lunch together almost every day, then we started casually buying each other coffee. I remember the first time I hung out with him outside of work, it was actually a work holiday party. We stuck to each other like glue.”

“Did you two ever date? If you don’t mind me asking…”

“Me and Niall!” You scoff. “No…now that I think about it, I think we have a no dating policy here.” You pause to ponder. “Or if you do date your colleague, you have to disclose it with HR. No, we’re sort of like work spouses, you know? He’s been there for me through some tough times. I’m lucky to know him and have him in my life the way I do.”

“You two make working here look like fun.”

“Working in an office isn’t always glamorous, but when you make good friends it definitely helps. Knowing I’ll get to chat with him Monday morning always gets me excited for the week.”

“So you two don’t hang out outside of work much?”

“No we do, just not as often as we were. He’s dating one of my best girlfriends, and I’m obviously with Harry, so some priorities have changed. But, we still make time for each other. Double dates have been fun.” You smile. “We look out for each other, we always have each other’s back.”

“That’s good. I hope I make friends so easily when I actually start working.”

“Do you think you wouldn’t?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “It’s just weird about coming into the real world. I mean, I only have one more year of school left.”

“It flies by, that’s for sure. But, you’re making good connections here. We like to keep our interns too, so you never know what could happen.”

“You’re a very nice person, has anyone ever told you that?” Your eyes widen a little.

“Um, once or twice, but thank you.” You look at the time, and see it’s 4:30. “Hey, if you wanna duck out early, feel free. My brain is fried, so I think I’m just gonna catch up on email for the next half hour.”

“Oh, alright thanks.” He gets up and packs his laptop away. “I didn’t, uh, make you uncomfortable with my comment did? I was just trying to say that I appreciate how nice you’ve been to me. You all could treat me as a coffee boy, but you don’t. I like getting to work on real projects.”

“You didn’t, don’t worry. And thanks. Wouldn’t be much of an internship if we had you running around doing nonsense. You’re definitely valued here.” After he leaves you go down to Niall’s office and plop down into one of his chairs.

“I feel like I either see you all day, or not at all. There’s no in between.” He smiles.

“I think you were right about Matt.”

“What do you mean?” His smile completely gone.

“I think he has a crush on me or something.”

“What happened?”

“I was very quiet with him today, up until the end of the day, I sent him out early. But I noticed he kept like, stealing glances…especially here.” You point to your cleavage. “I could wear the highest neckline, but there’s nothing I can do, I have big boobs.”

“Was he like blatantly staring?”

“No, but he was definitely looking, trying to be discrete about it, but a woman just knows when she’s being ogled. And then he started asking me all these questions about you and I, and how we became such great friends, and if we ever dated.”

“Maybe he was just curious…if he gets creepy or weird let me know and we can tell HR. Gotta cut the shit on the kind of behavior right away.”

“Definitely. God I hope he didn’t hear me on the phone with Harry earlier.”

“You took a call with him in there?”

“I thought he was just calling to say hi, but I moved to other side of the room, and he had his headphones in.”

“Could’ve paused his music to listen in.”

“I was whispering.” Niall sighs.

“How old is he?”

“Almost twenty-one.”

“I don’t want to make this sound like a boys will be boys thing, but try to see it from a different perspective. He’s a young guy who gets to sit an office, alone, with a pretty, older woman for four hours a day. I bet he goes back to his buddies at school and tells them all about what you wear and how you laugh. But like I said, if it gets weird or creepy, we will squash it.”

“It didn’t make me uncomfortable, and I’ve made it clear I have a boyfriend…people are allowed to have crushes. May not even be a crush, he might just be attracted to me.” Niall sighs. “What?”

“I don’t want to make you upset, but sometimes you’re a little too nice. It’s okay to be upfront with him, set some guidelines to how this all works. He doesn’t actually work here, he needs to know what appropriate behavior is and what’s not.” He sighs again. “Look, why don’t I talk to him next time he’s in. Okay?”

“Okay, yeah, I think it’ll be better if you chat with him first.” You groan. “It’s not easy being irresistible you know?” You both giggle.

//

You can’t wait to get home to Harry. He had seen you without makeup plenty of times, so at least you knew he wouldn’t make any comments about your appearance. When you keyed into your apartment, you smelled something absolutely delectable.

“Hey you!” He says, looking at you over his shoulder. You walk over and give him a kiss on the cheek.

“What are you making?”

“Pancakes…made from bananas. Thought we could have breakfast for dinner.” He smiles.

“I could cry this look amazing, thank you.” You give him another kiss on the cheek. “Just gonna go change into something cozy.”

“I have some extra sweats here, feel free to wear m’pants.”

“Thanks babe.”

Nothing was better than supreme domestic bliss. Nothing was better than coming home, and having your apartment smell so amazing. Nothing was better than Harry, plain and simple.

#harry styles #take it slow #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles y/n #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #fluff #smut #harry styles fluff fic #harry styles smut fic #this one is long my bad

[eury--dice]

history, huh?

chapter 4: proxime

check the notes for links to other chapters and ao3!

(also would like to note a general cw for alcohol and child abuse in this chapter - see ao3/message me for more detail and please be safe and avoid if necessary)

Adam kind of wanted to go back and slap his former self before he could announce anything was “perfect.”

It was only once the turkeys were deposited in his room by blank-faced handlers that he began to regret his decision. The turkeys stared ominously at him, eerily silent for all of five seconds before they started to move and gobble.

And they didn’t stop.

SOS, he texted Ronan simply, receiving a lone question mark in reply. 

  iMessage chat to HRH shitty bird boy

Resumed 28 November, 2019, 12:36 am

  It’s the turkeys. I saved taxpayers needless expense and now they’re going to peck me to death. 

  told you to stop playing the hero, Parrish. 

  NOW IS NOT THE TIME

CORNBREAD IS EYEING ME

Some support would be appreciated here

  i’m going to assume that cornbread is one of the turkeys and not a sentient loaf of cornmeal?

  No, Your Highness, I’ve been performing a complicated experiment involving a snack to see if it can gain intelligence. The crocheted eyes appear to be working.

No shit, Sherlock, good assumption. 

And excuse you, in the South, we make cornbread with real corn. 

  if you’re going to jest don’t include hobbies that seem plausible

  The science experiment or the crocheting?

  both. 

  When would I do either of those?

  fuck if i know, that’s your business. 

  Oh shit oh shit oh shit

Meatloaf is gobbling again.

Is gobbling a precursor to attack? 

Would google it but I’m too afraid to take my eyes off of the dinos.

  gobbling is widely known as a war declaration amongst turkeys 

i’m surprised a smartarse like you wouldn’t know this.

  Oh, fuck it, Adam thought, and before he could talk himself out of it and resign himself to a night of gobbling, the dial icon had been tapped and the glass of his phone felt cool against his hearing ear. 

“Have you ever shared close quarters with a turkey?”

Adam could feel Ronan’s unimpressed silence through the phone. “No, I have not. Why the hell would I?”

“Privileged,” Adam muttered. “You don’t know how sadistic these turkeys are.” 

Cornbread chose that moment to gobble rather loudly and antagonistically. Adam’s eyes snapped to the bird, his muscles freezing in pure fear. “Sorry,” he whispered. 

“Christ,” Ronan said, and his tone had softened somewhat. “Did a turkey make that noise?”

“Yep,” Adam breathed. 

“That is not natural,” he insisted. “What the fuck?”

“I told you!”

A squawk sounded on Ronan’s end, and when Ronan spoke his voice was a great deal gentler than it had been. “Good baby, your noises aren’t demonic…”

“I’ll assume you’re not speaking to me.”

“Fuck no. Every word out of your mouth comes straight from hell.” There was a muffled rustling nose, something that was probably feathers against skin. 

“Your bird?”

“Raven. Keep up, please.”

“Ravens are birds,” Adam said, but it was probably futile. “What’s its name again?”

There was a brief pause on Ronan’s end. “Her name is Chainsaw.”

Adam’s voice fell flat in response. “Chainsaw.”

He heard a kerah. “Something wrong with that?” Ronan said, his accent drawing out the o in ‘wrong’ like it was already a guilty verdict .

“It just doesn’t seem very...royal. Or bird-like.”

“It’s a good cry better than cornbread and stuffing.”

“I didn’t name them,” Adam defended. “Blame the American people.”

“But I already blame them for so much.”

“Add it to the laundry list.” Adam flinched back as the other turkey squawked deafeningly. 

It was the first time he and Ronan had spoken on the phone, and until then, he hadn’t even realized it. All it took was Cornbread’s evil gaze to snap him into reality. 

Silence settled between them for a moment. Adam barely dared to breathe between the awkwardness of his conversation with Ronan and his clearly impending doom at the hands of something only distantly related to dinosaurs. 

“If you get mauled by those turkeys, may I give the eulogy at your funeral?”

Adam snorted, drawn back to the feeling of the phone clenched in his hand. “Ignoring the fact that I’m the son of the President and you’re the Prince of England, absolutely.” 

“Good. I’m already drafting turkey-related jokes.”

“Don’t you dare dishonor me by bringing up the cause of my demise.”

“It’s a good thing Cornbread will have clawed your esophagus out and you’ve no possible way to object.”

“Jesus.” Adam shivered. “Now I have a third part to my nightmare.”

“I would trade you Chainsaw, but she goes for the eyes and I have the feeling you’d rather keep those.”

“Your feeling is correct.”

“Also, I would fucking die for her.”

“...Strong feelings, apparently, for a bird that doesn’t seem royal-approved.”

“That’s half the reason I love her,” Ronan admitted. “Most definitely not approved.”

“Just like your tattoo?”

The line went quiet for a moment. “Yes,” Ronan finally said. “Just like my tattoo.”

That line was back, and Adam inched ever-closer to touching it with his toes.

“No trade, then. I’ll just slowly perish alone in my room. If this causes a fiasco in the press be sure to make fun of me properly.”

“Of course,” Ronan said, just as Stuffing let out a deafening gobble. “Can’t you get Sargent to intimidate them into silence? Or, wait, is it charming them into liking her? I can’t figure her out from your description.”

“Knowing Blue it could be either,” Adam admitted. “And she’s...busy.”

“Busy how?”

“Back in Virginia busy.” Adam stretched out his shoulder, keeping a wary eye on the turkeys. 

“Virginia? With family?”

“Most of her family is Maura, and she’s still here,” Adam hedged, weighing the little he knew about the Sargent family with what he could say to Ronan. “But yeah, of a sort. Thanksgiving’s a rough time of year. She’s trying to help out, even though it’s not technically where she’s from. Raising money, ensuring shelter, I think she’s even got a protest planned.”

“Different shade of Sargent, then.”

“Same shade,” Adam corrected. “Different circumstances.”

Ronan hummed on the other end of the line. Adam scrambled for words, trying to lighten up the air. Stuffing squawked as though to mock his tied tongue.

“She’s been busy for the last few weeks, anyway.”

“What type of busy would this busy be?”

"Just start a new sentence. You sound ridiculous." Ronan stayed silent to his jab, clearly electing to ignore him. “...Date busy.”

“Good for her,” Ronan said, but he must have heard something else in Adam’s silence because he continued. “Wait. No. No fucking way. Not with Gansey?”

“Yes with Gansey.”

“Wow, third wheeling’s gotta be even more fucking awkward, huh?”

“God, I hope not.”

“The way you described them I thought they’d never wake up to it.”

“Me too,” Adam said. “And I’m thrilled for them, but I’m also very offended that their feelings are getting in the way of saving me. Gansey went with her.”

“Oh, you drama queen. Just sleep in Gansey’s room if the gobbling is that bad.”

“They can escape, Ronan, I swear to you. They’re like the raptors-”

“They’re named after fatty foods. You’ll be alright. Go the fuck to sleep.”

“...Yeah, alright. But you need to sleep too.”

“Wouldn't dream of letting you sleep alone,” Roman replied, his tone dry. “Good night.”

“Good night.”

As Adam let his phone fall onto his pillow, Stuffing chose to bash her wings against the cage. After almost falling out of his bed in fright, Adam quickly decided that Ronan might have been onto something about sleeping in Gansey’s room. 

If he made it through the night, he owed Ronan a thank you.

  ***

Christmas rolled around with a mighty fervor.

It felt like one moment, Adam was sitting back down in class after Thanksgiving to crack down on some new essays, and the next he was watching evergreens and pine decorations get thrown up along White House walls in perfect synchrony. 

The normal White House Christmas was an ordeal, one that did its best to stress family but mostly stressed political strategy. Nothing changed that year to make it different, but they did have a smaller affair in addition to all the festivities. Christmas Eve was, in many ways, the eye of the storm. An extreme amount of chaos was behind them, and a deluge to follow come Christmas morning, but Christmas Eve dinner was dependable, private, and blessedly relaxed. Adam, somehow, found himself looking forward to it. 

He sat on one of the staircases - it really didn’t matter which one, as they all blent together, only distinguishable by where they could take him - with the decorations hanging around him and a book in his lap. For once, there wasn’t any work, and even the most work-centered version of himself was forced to concede and enjoy a few hours of pleasure reading. He had grabbed the first book he could find off of his shelf and set off. Apparently, his hand had gravitated towards Fahrenheit 451. Not exactly light enough to match the twinkling reds and golds he spotted in his periphery no matter how he turned, but a personal choice all the same. 

“If you keep sitting on staircases, someone is going to walk into you,” came Gansey’s voice from behind him. 

“It’s their fault for not watching their way,” said Adam. “I’m sitting with my back to them. How am I expected to know?”

“By not sitting on staircases,” Gansey repeated. The air rustled as Gansey lowered to sit on the step next to Adam. “Some nice, light reading?”

“Yes. Everything okay?”

“Grand. Mostly just avoiding Helen unpacking and my parents stressing over napkin rings.”

“Gansey Christmas sounds wonderful,” Adam said dryly. “I assume they’ll all be here tonight?”

“Of course. They’d never miss it.”

“Helen is well?”

“Fantastic, apparently. Primed to get engaged soon, she says, and the helicopter’s got a new paint job.”

Adam could almost forget how much the Ganseys looked like a new Kennedy-like dynasty, but their swarming every year always reminded him. Their Christmas photos, too - always at DC landmarks, bleached teeth and ghost-pale skin and all-American born and bred grins. And the occasional snap stories from Helen of her mid-piloting a flying vessel didn’t help. 

“Glad to hear it,” he said, not surprised to find the words genuine. 

He got to see the Gansey family anxiety for himself only a few hours later, donned in an ugly Christmas sweater Blue had insisted on. Mr. Gansey cast a discerning eye around the room while Mrs. Gansey smiled tightly at his side, dressed pristinely. Helen chatted idly with Blue, though Blue looked prepared to bolt at a moment's notice. 

“Ho-ho-horseshit?” Maura questioned, snapping him away from his reverie and gazing around like a caged animal. Her eyes traced over the pattern on his shirt. 

“Blue’s homemade gift,” he said by way of response, to which Maura only sighed heavily. Her sudden appearance reminded him he had a task to perform, the small handled bag digging into his palm suddenly given a purpose. He held the bag out to Maura with a small grimace, watching one of her eyebrows quirk. “I was told to give you this.”

Maura withdrew an identical sweater from the bag. “Sending you to do her dirty work, hm?”

“I suppose so.”

“Hm,” was all Maura replied, until she lifted her analytical gaze to him. “Thanks, Adam,” she said, and in one of the greatest surprises of the night, slid her arm over his shoulders and drew him into a quick hug. “Now sit down. We’ve gotta start wrangling dinner if we want this to end before midnight.”

Adam took his place next to Gansey at the smaller table, unfolding a napkin and laying it across his lap. The gals at the table slowly began to fill in as Gansey chatted about the recent tabloid conjectures. 

“The youngest is back in the tabloids, you know, trying to get him on drug use again.”

“Oh, really?” Adam muttered, eyes scanning idly over the periphery of the room. His eyes snagged on the Christmas decorations, simpler than the majority of the White House decor. A few string lights here and there, hanging baubles, the occasional pile of fake snow. His finger tapped at the stem of his empty wine glass. 

“Last time he disappeared for public for a while. Heaven knows if that’ll happen again.”

He felt an itch inside his deaf ear, one he knew he wouldn’t be able to reach. “Disappeared?” 

“Yeah, just...gone, no public appearances…”

It was a vague memory, or perhaps a memory of a memory.  Just a snatch of something that made the hairs in the back of his neck stand up. He tried to focus on Gansey’s words, but all at once they started sliding around, unclear and blending with the too-loud noises of dinner being served. A cacophony of clacks and laughs and voices. His head burned. 

Gansey’s voice lowered. “Are you alright, Adam?”

He scooted his chair backward quickly, muttering something like “back in a minute” to Gansey before rushing away. He felt eyes on the back of his head, but he didn’t pause or slow until the door to his bedroom shut firmly behind him and he leaned against it, completely alone. 

“Parrish?” Ronan’s voice said in his ear, low and urgent, and oh. Adam hadn’t even realized his phone was in his hand, much less that he’d managed to press Ronan’s contact or raise it to his ear. He did briefly remember the ringing, but then words were falling out of his mouth and he didn’t waste any more brainpower on how he reached that position.

“I don’t want to…to bother you,” Adam said, and only someone who had known him for a long time would know how much it took Adam to say those words despite the fact that it was a mantra in his head repeating infinitely. Blue, who had known him since the age of five, had heard him say it only a handful of times. Gansey had heard it perhaps a handful more, though that was mostly because Adam felt strangely indebted to Gansey no matter how much he tried to change it. Ronan should not have known, but Adam had a feeling he would anyway. “You hate phones and it’s Christmas Eve and-”

“Adam,” Ronan said abruptly, and the use of his first name stopped him short. “It’s two in the morning. I’m just with Matthew. Talk.”

“Hi, Adam,” came a cheerful voice, somehow sounding like an even better picture-perfect British monarchy member than Ronan or Declan. “Ronan’s told me everything about how he-”

Adam missed Ronan’s ensuing muttered comment, something that most likely resembled a threat, but soon the voice that Adam assumed to be Mathew let out a trailing laugh, the sound growing fainter as he likely moved away from the phone.

“And fuck you!” Ronan called, with his mouth moved away from the receiver, before his attention returned to Adam. “He’s gone now.”

“It’s okay,” Adam said. “I didn’t mind.”

“I know,” Ronan said simply. “But I thought it might be easier. Now go.”

“I-I just,” Adam fumbled with his words for a moment, his free hand curling into a fist on his thigh. He felt, strangely, like he was back in Aglionby PE class trying to participate in a football scrimmage. He’d always come just short of catching the ball. He’d known what he was supposed to do, where his hands were supposed to go, the sequence of events following the initial contact, even the proper footwork. But whenever the ball reached him, he felt the disconcerting motion of closing his arms around nothing, always a second too early or too late, leather slipping from his arms like butter in a hot pan. “Couldn’t be at that dinner any longer.”

“Why?” Ronan asked, and it was a good question, a good question that Adam had avoided so many times over he barely knew how to respond. He almost deflected like he always did, but Ronan asked the question differently than everyone else. There was no expectation in the question, no real drive to know the answer other than making Adam feel better, no guarantee of hearing the full truth or any version of the truth at all. Why. Why respond now?

“I was little,” he said, and fuck why did he go down this road at all? “And everything was overwhelming when I was little, and everything is overwhelming now, but it’s even more overwhelming at Christmas.” Ronan didn’t say it again, but still, it traveled across an ocean to hover over Adam uncertainly. Why?

“I don’t remember a lot about it. I don’t know if that’s because of...how it was, or just because I was so small. Younger than three, I think.”

“I barely remember anything from then,” Ronan said, the closest thing to reassurance Adam had received from him.

“Yeah,” Adam said. “Yeah. I guess. But I remember...I remember the double-wide. The great American double-wide in the great American trailer park with the great American alcohol and the great, raging American father.”

Ronan’s breath shifted ever so slightly.

Adan screwed his eyes shut. “I don’t...my mother wasn’t there. But she was the one who put the Christmas lights up. I couldn’t stop staring at them. I can still remember...they made the tan wall look almost golden. Just where the lights touched it, of course.” His voice trailed off, realizing how tangential it sounded. Softly, he added “I don’t know why I remember those lights.”

“Our minds remember random things,” Ronan said, perhaps to bring Adam back to the story.

“Yeah,” Adam agreed, blinking quickly. “Yeah. He didn’t...he didn’t like that. Me looking at them, I mean. So he...he took them down.”

The silence pressed in at his ears, threatening to close in on him just like walls. 

“I see,” Ronan said. 

“And he…” Adam swallowed, feeling his Adam’s apple scratch tightly against his neck. He pressed his free hand to his deaf ear. “I don’t remember a lot after that, either. But the bulbs were...hot. It was freezing inside, so they should have been, too, but they were lightbulbs, I guess, and so they were hot. At some point, I fell into a railing. It burst my left eardrum.” At that moment, he could feel that second in startling clarity - pinpricks and needles and blood vessels dancing on his skin, sharp, pointed, wild attacks, and the loudest noise he’s ever heard in his life, making him collapse to the ground and forget everything else. Pain, bright and white and flashing and throbbing in time with his heartbeat until he wanted to melt into the floor. Adam was the better part of two decades removed from it, and still, the thought of that moment made his stomach turn over and over.

Adam knew he didn’t imagine Ronan’s intake of breath then.

“And my mother got home, and when she saw we left and never came back.”

The walls pressed closer to him until Ronan said “Well, shit. Fuck. Jesus.”

Adam brought his hand to his mouth, pressing it until the pressure began to ease up in his gut. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, muffled against his fingers.

“No, shit, Parrish. Don’t you dare apologize.” There was a quick exhale, something that sounded like leather sliding down a headboard. “That’s what you remember of Christmas?’

“Yeah. I don’t - I don’t remember a whole lot.”

“Well, thank God for that.”

Not even Blue and Gansey knew that story. They knew the vague details, of course, how his smiles turned tight around the White House decorations and he preferred to slip into his room early on holidays. And that Robert was the reason for his being deaf in one ear. He could just never get the entire story out around them.

Telling Ronan about it was easy, though, in a way that it shouldn’t have been. He was supposed to hate Ronan, even if it became more clear with every passing day that he was far from hatred. 

“I guess I should. It’s not like I’ve done any of that in a long time.”

“You don’t have to.” A slight pause. “I can.”

Adam tried to keep the doubt out of his voice. “You can?”

For a brief moment, Adam thought Ronan might hang up on him. But then he said, “Can I tell you a secret, Parrish?”

After everything I just put on you, you could tell me a thousand secrets. You know I’ll keep every single one. I’m trusting you with a story that no one else knows, that no one else will ever know. I could do nothing less than keep your secret. 

All he said was “Of course.”

“You know my Irish father? My Irish storytelling father? My Irish-Catholic father?”

“Right.”

“He passed down more to me than just his Irish stories.”

It took Adam’s brain a moment to catch up. “I...see.”

“All three of us...well, behind closed doors, that’s what we practice. Believe. Whatever shit you want.”

“Right. So no… C of E.”

“On the record, of course. Off the record...no. None at all.”

Adam hummed in response. He couldn’t think of what else to say. 

“So...I will. If that’s okay.”

“Yeah. Of course.” A knock sounded on the door, sounding suspiciously like Gansey’s familiar tapping. He rose slowly, crossing to fall onto his bed. “I should probably let you go. Don’t want you to have too prolonged contact with any screens.”

“Disgusting,” Ronan said. A beat passed. “Are you a bit better?”

Adam shut his eyes, feeling the tension coiled in his chest ease up slightly. The line between the two of them materialized at his feet, on the backs of his lids, and he could nearly touch it with the toe of his shoes. “Yes,” he admitted. “Thank you.” And of all the words for Adam to say, they were the easiest and hardest to accomplish.

“Thank you,” Ronan said, and if Adam didn’t know any better he would think the words sounded harder to say for Ronan than Adam. But the line clicked and fell dead before Adam could say anything. He stared at the phone for a moment until the screen switched off from disuse, leaving him in the dark. Only then did he stand and cross the room to perch on the edge of his bed.

Gansey’s head poked through his doorway. He hesitated as though asking for permission, and Adam nodded. 

“I didn’t mean to interrupt anything."

“It’s fine,” Adam hedged. “We were wrapping up.”

Gansey fell heavily into Adam’s desk chair just as he always did. “Everything alright?”

“Now it is, yeah.”

He seemed to be trying to put all the pieces of the puzzle together. “That wasn’t Noah, was it?”

“No, of course not.”

Gansey nodded once. “So it was Ronan.”

“What?” Adam sat up a little too quickly, blood rushing to his head. “Why would you say - how do you-?”

“You don’t exactly have a wide circle of friends. Guessing is easy.”

“I hate your knowledge of my loneliness.” He swallowed roughly. “And we’re not... friends.” 

Gansey cocked one eyebrow. His thumb raised to run over his lower lip. “Really?” He challenged.

And, well. No. Not really. Adam thought of their strings of messages, the trade of information between them so easy and simple. He couldn’t pretend that they were enemies anymore, or that their general feelings weren’t positive.

“Really,” He said, launching himself up off of his bed. Smoothing out the wrinkles in his pants, he glanced back over to his friend. Gansey was studying him with a distantly memorable expression, as though trying to discern a difficult Latin translation but determined not to ask for help. 

“Well,” Gansey said, blinking once, twice. He stood abruptly, noting Adam moving towards the door. “Let’s off, then.” “You’re not British, Gansey, don’t say that.”

“Mm, you’d know all about their phrases, wouldn’t you?”

“Do not.”

Before Adam reached the door, Gasney stopped him, saying his name so lowly Adam almost missed it. He turned and waited for Gansey to speak.

“Are you sure you can go back?” Adam mustered a smile. No, he thought, but Ronan’s voice echoed in his head. Don’t apologize. Maybe he could make it through after all, have a slightly better memory of Christmas. “Yeah, I am.” And he turned the doorknob to let them spill out into the hallway.

  ***

iMessage chat to HRH shitty bird boy

Resumed 29 December, 2019, 5:17 pm

  Look. I’m just saying.

Ignoring the fact that bearer bonds haven’t been legally in use since 1982

That henchman says that they’re valued at $100,000 USD

(£75,700 for your British ass)

and then Alan Rickman says they earn 20%

When the interest rate on corporate bonds was 9% when Die Hard came out??

And also there’s never been a US bond worth more than $10,000??

  stop letting sargent force you to watch die hard

for the love of god stop

it’s a MOVIE

  It’s not Blue, actually.

It’s your best friend.

  henry??? how??

  Netflix party

He got my number (thanks for that)

And wouldn’t stop texting insisting we watch it

Or he (as threatened) will “release the bees??”

I’m not sure what he meant but here I am. 

Accidentally desecrating Alan Rickman’s legacy.

Blue’s here too but it’s not her fault, at least.

  that asshole

how dare i not be included in everything he does

  “Why the hell is Ronan on the guest list?” Adam demanded, casting his eyes over their virtual list for what felt like the hundredth time. Planning for their New Year’s Eve fundraising event/PR dream/blowout party had been well underway since before Christmas, but crucial developments always occurred in the weeklong stretch between Christmas and New Year’s. Like the inclusion of the Prince of England on their exclusive invitation list of all the most famous and powerful twenty-somethings from around the planet.

Blue, seated sideways in an armchair and eating a container of strawberry yogurt at a glacial pace, said “I thought you added him?” 

Adam wouldn’t put it past her to add him and feign innocence - she had some hidden agenda with him and Ronan, anyway, one he wasn’t quite sure of - but her ignorance seemed genuine. At once, they both turned to Gansey. He kept his face blank.

“Good question, Adam,” he said, refusing to back down under their stares. “But the real question is why didn’t you invite him?”

Adam, too, did his best to look passive. “Why would I?”

“He’s your only friend that’s not currently in this room?”

“Plus he’s great for the press,” Blue chimed in.

Adam just looked between them, and Gansey sighed.

“Look, Adam, it’s - it’s great that you actually get along with him. Like him.”

“Do not,” Adam retorted automatically. His phone buzzed, and he felt his cheeks darken a little with the knowledge that it was probably Ronan. Gansey and Blue were probably staring at each other and having one of their silent conversations, but he didn’t trust himself to look at them without giving anything away. Not that there was anything to give away. “You invited Cheng too, right? Ronan won’t come if he doesn’t.” “Thought you didn’t care?” Blue asked, and he shrugged.

“They’ve both RSVP’d yes, Adam, so I’m sure your best friend will be there.”

“Lovely,” Adam muttered, ushering them along the rest of their planning.

Just before eight PM on the thirty-first of December, Adam curled into his desk chair with a textbook perched on his bent knees. Blue, already dressed and made up while laying spread-eagle on his bed, fiddled with the hem of her shirt. She’d managed to convince PR that a self-designed outfit would make a splash, and Adam had to agree with her - she really did have a knack for design and upcycling. 

Technically, they should have been heading down to play host to all types of young, influential people, buttering them up for cash and future favors. But much as the media loved their wild parties, none of the White House Trio were particularly fond of them. They preferred a quieter scene, but quiet didn’t raise money and make headlines. 

That didn’t mean they couldn’t hole up and enjoy the peace and quiet before then.

Gansey, who by far had the greatest social battery, was therefore left to field early attendants and the press on the lawn. He’d come and drag them out of Adam’s room soon enough, of course, but before that time came there was relative peace.

“I guess we’ll get one more of these,” Blue said. “At least.”

Adam lifted his eyes from the book and looked at her. “Yes,” he said softly. “I think I’ll miss them?”

She laughed, a deep laugh that eased a bit of the pre-party anxiety in his chest. “I won’t. I hate this party.”

“But don’t you like flirting with all the daughters of Oscar-winning actresses?”

Blue hummed. “That is fun. They’re never ready for it.”

“They never are.”

“I’ll be doing less of that this year, though.”

“And hopefully forever?” Adam teased. The sudden air of wistfulness descending around Blue gave him a hint of pause. She took a moment to respond.

”Maybe,” she muttered. “Shut up.”

Adam let it go for then, sensing genuine distress in Blue’s stiffened shoulders.

“They wouldn’t be so bad if everyone didn’t get so blacked out.”

“Well, we have liability waivers now. And I think you mean it would be worse.”

Adam sighed. “I guess no one would show up without the promise of alcohol.”

“Exactly.”

Contrary to how Blue and Gansey made him live, Adam really didn’t enjoy drinking that much. When he did, he preferred to do so quietly - sitting in the music room with the rest of the trio, celebrating a good grade with his family, breaking out something to make a night-in a little more exciting. Events like the Royal Wedding were a one-off, where he needed distraction and alcohol presented itself. 

He didn’t want to think about the need for distraction just then, with Ronan and Henry Cheng most likely en route to the White House.

A few quick, precise knocks came at the door. Gansey. He popped his head in.

“You two need to show up soon or it’s going to look suspicious,” he greeted. Blue made a tiny noise of discontent and made to turn her face into Adam’s pillow, but must have remembered her makeup and decided otherwise.

Adam heaved a sigh and stood, smoothing one hand over his hair. He’d straightened and smoothed it down for the event, knowing the cameras preferred him in all of his polished glory. He glanced between Blue and Gansey, but their gazes didn’t flicker from each other. Something about the hunger in their eyes made Adam ache, a tight knot settled in his chest. Gansey moved into the room and Adam out of it. He cast a glance through the doorway over his shoulder, trying to gauge if he should wait for them. By the low, urgent whispers carrying between them and Gansey’s hands rested on Blue’s elbows as they stood nearly flush, his presence was no longer necessary. 

Adam trailed down the hallowed halls until he reached the mingling mass of people in the East Room. He turned on his smile, trying his best to become invisible. It didn’t work. At every turn, another person grabbed his shoulder to catch up, another drink pressed into his hand, another question hurled his way. At some point, he started to feel a bit numb in the fingers, tiredness and giddiness from the schmoozing seeping into his bones.

Blue appeared at his side. Her smile had dampened somewhat, but he could tell she was enjoying herself from the set of her brows. Something, however, was off at just that moment. She inclined her head behind her, and that was all the explanation Adam needed. 

Ronan often had that upsetting effect on people. 

Adam took a moment to observe the scene. Ronan and Henry Cheng stood several feet away, engaged in conversation with Gansey, who walked backwards tidily through the crowd as though herding them towards Adam. Ronan’s face remained passive, clad in his black-leather best. Adam’s skin felt hot and itchy under his shirt, and he looked instead to Cheng. In his Madonna t-shirt, Cheng drew attention to himself in waves. Between his eccentric origin story and absently friendly expression, not to mention the excited manner in which he partook in whatever Gansey was saying, Cheng would surely be the hot commodity of the party. 

“Making friends?” Adam asked Blue, pulling a face at the same time she did. 

“He’s your best friend,” she replied just as Gansey reached them. Blue reached out a hand to stop him from colliding with them, stretching her arm so that it was almost straight, and he caught her hand easily with a squeeze.

From what Adam could tell, their conversation centered around some vague school memory from Eton, but it dissolved as soon as Blue and Adam broke their circle. The brief silence was broken quickly by Henry Cheng, who announced, “Well, if it isn’t the man with the worst opinions about Die Hard.” 

Against his will, Adam felt the corners of his lips twitch. “And the man who cried over Alan Rickman dying in Die Hard.”

Henry shrugged. “I wear my emotions proudly.”

“We fucking know,” Ronan said, breaking his silence. Adam hated how nicely the tight leather jacket accented his pale skin and high cheekbones, looking almost regal in his rebellion. “You monologued about the unbridled joy in your heart over the Madonna song playing when we first arrived.”

Henry grinned. “I will not apologize for being stable in my masculinity, Ronan, unlike all you repressed British types.”

“I need a drink,” Ronan declared loudly, plucking one from the closest tray and downing it in one graceful motion as one might serve a tennis ball. Henry did not appear phased by the sudden dramatics. 

“Now, let’s see if I get everyone.” He turned his head to Gansey, moving around the circle. “We’ve got King Ganseyman, of course. Adam Parrish, the least valid person I can think of for purely petty reasons. And of course our dear Periwinkle.”

Adam cocked a brow and subtly shifted his eyes to look at Blue. She looked fit to claw out someone’s eye even though her own eye scars were obscured in makeup; her hand had tightened significantly around Gansey’s, and he gave no indication of pain from the movement beyond the barest twitch of his mouth. 

“Clever,” she said at last, sparing him a tight, sarcastic smile. “I’ve also read the labels on nail polish to pick up a few new words. It’s nice to know you can read.”

“Yes, well, you have to start your journey to literacy somewhere,” Henry said grandly. “I appreciate your support, of course.”

Adam caught a flicker of amusement pass of Blue’s face. He had a sinking suspicion that maybe Blue wasn’t as averse to Cheng as she put on a show of. 

“Are you literate enough to read off a drink order?” she said. 

Henry grinned, white teeth lining in rows in his mouth. “I suppose I can string a few words together.”

Without letting go of Gansey, Blue surged forward, looping her other arm in Henry’s. The three of them trailed off towards the drinks, Blue and Henry moving determinedly and Gansey, bemused and grinning at their sudden acquaintanceship, lagging a step or so behind. Adam gazed after them for a moment, but Ronan took a step closer to be heard over the music and he turned his head to look at him. 

“She’s gonna have them wrapped up all night.”

Adam raised a brow. “You can read her that well?”

Ronan gave his head the tiniest, nearly imperceptible shake. “No. I know Cheng and Gansey.”

The heat of the room was starting to cling to Adam’s skin; he rolled one shoulder uncomfortably. “Of course. Eton gang’s reunited.”

“For better or worse,” Ronan agreed lowly. 

Adam meant to ask what he meant by that, but he never received the chance. A hand tapped Ronan firmly on the shoulder, and Adam watched as he turned automatically. His face broke into an uncharacteristic grin at the sight of the person behind him. Adam felt his forehead crease as the figure wrapped their arms around Ronan’s shoulders and he hugged them back almost as enthusiastically. For a moment, the only sight was the overlapping of pale and dark skin, the stranger’s feather-pink jacket contrasting with the black leather Ronan wore. 

Then the two separated, and between the black bralette, exuberant eyeshadow, and tight-coiled hair shining under the strobe lighting, Adam recognized Hennessy - up-and-coming London artist, an occasional nuisance. and precisely the type of person that thrived at these parties. 

“You bastard,” she said to Ronan. “I didn’t know you were gonna be here.”

“Henry was live-tweeting the whole flight.” 

She scoffed lightly, rubbing at an invisible spot of dirt on Ronan’s cheek. “I've had him muted since uni.”

“Don’t let him hear that you haven’t been keeping up on his page.”

“Aww, it’s sweet you worry for me, little fox, but I can take that pissant any day of the week.”

Ronan pulled back slightly. “Of course you could, but Henry goes more for psychological violence.”

“Yes, well, I can get him in that too.” Neither acknowledged Adam standing nearby. Hennessy shook her head, curls bouncing with the movement and picking up all kinds of strobe lighting. “Where is he, that shadow of yours?”

“Cheng could never be anyone’s shadow. He’s too out there.”

“And you’re the one he chooses not to abandon, hm? How sweet.” When she smiled, she looked very much like a painting, striking and set and venomous enough to burn at the slightest brush. Ronan appeared impervious.

“He’s making friends.”

“Hm. How boring.”

Ronan’s voice lowered, but Adam thought he could hear him say “Jordan’s not here?” 

Hennessy’s lips, the same vibrant shade as her lids, pulled a little tighter. “Nah,” she replied, casual enough. “Working on some deadlines, poor thing.” Her eyes flitted away from Ronan’s face for the first time, landing squarely on Adam instead. Her grin widened. “Well, there’s our treasured host. Late to your own party?”

“I have learned a few things from you over the years, Hennessy,” Adam replied, slipping a hand into his pocket in an attempt to appear more casual than he felt. 

“Fuck, I guess you have,” she admitted. Compared to Ronan’s accent, her voice sounded slipperier and rounder, sliding through the air until it reached his ears. She lifted a hand to land one last pat to Ronan’s cheek before gliding on to land a similar one to Adam. She paused briefly in front of him, lowering her hand. 

“You look happy,” she noted. Waggling her fingers in a wave, she turned back so both Adam and Ronan could see her. “I need a drink to get through all these boring political types. Ta, darlings,” she said, before disappearing back into the crowd as quickly as she had arrived. 

Adam exchanged a look with Ronan. “So you know Hennessy?”

“I’d hope so, yeah,” Ronan said, but he didn’t elaborate. “You?”

“We've met a few times.” 

“Pity,” Ronan said, standing like he wasn’t quite sure what to do with his hands. 

Adam rolled a few words around on his tongue - questions, mostly, infused with the sudden jealousy he felt simmering low in his gut - but instead all he said, so out of character, was “Do you want a drink?”

His shoulders seemed to soften slightly. “Can’t let Sargent have all the good ideas, I guess.”

“I’ll tell her you thought it was a good idea.”

“Fuck off.”

Ronan appeared a little more at ease with a drink in hand, and eventually, Adam lost him to the crowd. He stood stranded for the briefest of moments before Henry Cheng appeared, for the second time that night, at his side.

“Adam Parrish,” he said, handing off a drink that looked clear and deadly. It took his fingers a moment to remember to grab it rather than letting it splash to the ground. 

“Cheng,” Adam said, letting the déja vû wash over himself. “Thought we already had our introductions.”

“Of course,” Henry replied, tone too even and pleasant for the chaos around them. “Just wanted a chat with the movie critic, is all.”

Adam cast a skeptical eye around the room. “You’re sure this is the best place?”

“No time like the present, my friend.” Henry threw an arm around his shoulders, guiding Adam towards the dance floor and obscuring his own voice further. “How about you down that there drink and enjoy yourself? You look positively coiled and ready to strike.”

“I’d really rather not. What is it you wanted to talk about?”

“Well, if you’re so connected to sobriety, so be it,” Henry said, stealing the drink back. He nodded over Adam’s shoulder as he lowered his head back down from the drink, and when Adam glanced he saw a flash of Ronan’s leather among the crowd. “Our Ronan is looking fit, no? I’m proud of him for getting out of the house.”

“Some house,” Adam muttered, not expecting Henry to hear. All the same, his companion let out a startled laugh.

“Could say the same to you. But yes,” he said, leaning closer, “between you and me, the palace is always quite disarming.” Straightening and throwing a wave over his shoulder, Henry added, “Perhaps you have more reason to get used to it than I do, however.”

“More reason?”

Henry smiled, then, and somehow it appeared as menacing as Hennessy’s had earlier. Maybe he’d learned from her. “Friends of the royals make quite frequent trips, I’m afraid.”

“What, you’re not approved enough?”

“‘Fraid not. Heir to a fortune is not the same as First Son, Parrish, and I believe you’ve a wonderful slip of parchment ensuring just how approved you are.”

“I can’t find it in myself to be surprised you know.”

“Well, imagine being me if I didn’t!” Henry exclaimed, drawing the attention of a few popular influencers as he splashed a drink in their direction with his aggressive gesturing. “I was only on the receiving end of the HRH’s rants for three bloody years before you wrestled each other in frosting at the greatest wedding of the decade-”

“We didn’t wrestle-”

“And then you turn up a week later, acting all buddy-buddy for every camera you find - well, it would look suspicious had I not known!”

“Mhm,” Adam drawled, cutting his eyes back to Henry. “I bet Ronan can’t keep a secret from you.”

Henry grinned again, baring his teeth. “You’ve read him so well, McClane.” He sighed theatrically barely a moment later. “And debunked my argument succinctly.”

“That’s the price to pay for knowing all of Ronan’s thoughts, I suppose, Gruber.”

“Among many others. I’d expect his Niamh to know that well enough, though.”

Adam felt himself freeze as Henry’s hand came in contact with his shoulder, a friendly pat. His Niamh. As if that meant anything, as if those words fit together in any logical pattern. His Niamh, and his mother’s voice - almost golden. 

“Or you will soon enough, mate,” Henry said. “Have fun. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

And Henry Cheng disappeared into the crowd, popping up laughing with Blue a few feet away.

Adam surrendered gaining any grip on this night right then.

At some point, Hennessy found him, pressing a drink into his palm - what was with all his friends and acquaintances plying him with alcohol? - and said, “Well, I’d think you were avoiding me as you have at the last two of these parties.”

“Never avoiding,” Adam defended, mustering a smile as he lifted the drink to his lips without thinking. “Just generally indisposed at events.”

“You’re making some good choices, then.”

“What’s done must be done.”

She raised a single eyebrow. “Rather defeatist of you, Golden Boy. Don’t remember that from your time on the campaign trail.”

Adam grinned. “I’m a fully realized creation. I have the capacity to change.” “There he is, bringing out the philosophy at parties.” She nodded to something that might have been Ronan if Adam focused his eyes and squinted enough. “Don’t remember him, either.”

“Have I mentioned you look fantastic?”

“I know, darling, and I note your deflection.”

“My point stands.”

“And it’s valued.” She slid an arm over his shoulders, uncomfortably warm, to lean closer to his ear. “But we’re gonna have a conversation when you’re not overwhelmed at a party you don’t want to throw. I’m serious about the ignoring.”

“I know you are.”

“Mhm. And if I were you, I’d go check on your boy. But I’m not you, so I’m going to enjoy myself.”

As quickly as she’d appeared, she slid off into the crowd, joining the numbers of people Adam had completely lost to the mob. Everyone seemed able to navigate it but him.

As the clock neared midnight and another drink disappeared from Adam’s hand, leaving his blood buzzing pleasantly through his veins, he slipped out one of the ornate double doors. He breathed in fresh air like a man coming across water in the desert, the haze around his mind clearing with every breath. He ambled to a free bench, his legs still stiff and straight from overuse. The stone bit into his long fingers as he curled his hand around the bench seat, but he welcomed the feeling because it was so far from the thriving mass of bodies indoors.

At some point, he opened his eyes again. His eyes had briefly registered another figure outdoors by the statue when he first exited. Only once his eyes were open and scanning did he recognize the figure, a silhouette of black leather cut harshly from the ethereal white exterior of the Residence.

“Everything okay?” He called to Ronan.

“Yeah,” Ronan replied without turning to face him. “Just...getting some air.”

It was easier to associate this Ronan with the one he heard on the phone - so far from that royal persona projected everywhere, a voice in a face with no expectations on it. Ronan could have been anyone, his accent lax and his posture eerily straight in a contrast that made Adam feel a bit winded. 

“It’s loud in there,” he admitted.

Ronan didn’t respond, but Adam’s statement wasn’t one that required response. 

“I thought this would be more your scene,” Adam finally said, challenge creeping into his voice. He wasn’t sure if it was a genuine challenge or if he was just falling back on old habits instead of saying something he might regret.

“And I didn’t think it would be yours.”

“Fair enough, since it’s not.”

Ronan threw him a glance over one shoulder at that. “Makes perfect sense to throw this function, then.”

“Well, the media doesn’t exactly eat up overpriced textbooks and econ calculations, so I do what I can.”

“Mm,” Ronan hummed in something that sounded like agreement. “They do love the sex, drugs, and rock and roll, even in places it’s not happening.”

Adam stood, placing his hands on his knees like he had bad joints. “Unless if you actually went to 239 parties last year, I’d guess you know all about that exaggeration.”

“Do you stalk my tabloids, Parrish? The fuck?”

“No, Gansey does. With everybody. He just reads all his findings to me.”

“Terrifying,” Ronan muttered. “If I die of mysterious circumstances, you’ll both be on the shortlist of suspects.” “What?” Adam challenged. “You’ll keep it in the breast pocket of your blazer?”

“Sure,” Ronan replied. “I have to keep it folded up close to my heart, of course. Keep your lovers close but enemies closer.”

Ronan tilted his head in the direction of the statue, silently beckoning Adam to stand by him. It felt a bit like a confession, like his permission implied passing some silent test.

Briefly, in his buzzing brain, he wondered what side of that spectrum he fell on. 

“Did you get sick of watching Blue and Gansey?”

Adam shrugged, pulling to a stop just next to Ronan. He kicked absently at the ground with his toe. “A bit.”

“That has to have been a weird development to get used to.”

“A bit,” Adam repeated.

“Still, it hasn’t been too long.”

“I think they’ve been a thing for longer,” Adam admitted.

Ronan turned his head, and suddenly Adam felt the icy cool of his eyes trained on Adam’s face. “Why?”

Adam shrugged. “I don’t know. It just seems obvious, looking back. They’ve clearly been together for a while. August, at least.” He crossed his arms over his chest, the December-January chill suddenly settling over him. “I think they were...protecting me.”

Ronan snorted, the gesture not a bit princely. “Protecting you?”

Adam fiddled with the cuffs of his shirt.

“I’m damaged goods, Highness,” he said at length. “I’m fragile.”

Even though Adam didn’t turn to him, he felt Ronan’s eyes probe deeper as though imploring Adam to look back to him. “That’s a fucking lie,” he said, his voice low and dangerous.

Adam snorted, but Ronan was not deterred.

“You’re not fragile,” he repeated. “If you’re fragile, the world is being held up by - by dental floss and craft glue. No, a weak person couldn’t do what you do. Bullshit for the cameras at least once a week, keep up your grades, work on policy with Czerny, keep up your ratings so that they never dip - that’s too much for someone who is fragile.”

“Oh, then you must be superhuman, with all the bullshitting you do.”

“Of course I am, Parrish,” Ronan said, turning his eyes up and away from Adam.

They stood shoulder to shoulder, elbows rested on the cold metal fence guarding the statue. The night sky hung above them, pale in all of the light pollution of the city, but if Adam strained he could see the faint points carving themselves into the sky and drawing themselves into pictures and promises. Ronan’s heat radiated next to him, leather almost snagging on cotton. The fact that this was their first time seeing each other in person since the hospital photo-op did not escape Adam’s notice, but neither did the easy way in which they managed to coexist despite the time and distance removing them from that point.

When the moment grew too heavy, he said, “Did you look at my Wikipedia page?”

“No.”

Adam arched an eyebrow.

“...Matthew may have done some light Googling.”

Adam laughed. It wasn’t his carefree camera laugh, the ones that kept up his ratings, but it was a laugh nonetheless, one that dispersed through the air as though worried it could be stolen away at any moment. Ronan’s face shuttered abruptly. His expression became inscrutable, and Adam didn’t realize he’d looked happy until he no longer did.

All at once, Adam remembered the line separating them, and he felt certain they were touching it with their feet almost overlapping, face to face and chest to chest.

“You didn’t have to come,” Adam said softly, his normal voice suddenly feeling far too loud for the little bubble forming around them, devoid of anyone else. “Not if you didn’t want to.”

Ronan didn’t speak for a moment, by choice or to gather his words, Adam didn’t know. “I did.”

Adam just shook his head, choosing to stand in comfortable silence. A star winked in the sky.

“Non est ad astra mollis e terris via,” Ronan whispered, his lips barely movin g. There is no easy way from the earth to the stars.

“Itaque imus ad astra, per aspera,” Adam replied, barely thinking about it. So we go through hardships to the stars.

Ronan visibly started at his use of Latin. Adam smirked as if you say you’re not the only one with a posh education.

“Shooting for the stars, Highness?”

Rona turned his eyes back to the sole bright star. “I might as well be.”

“I’d doubt whatever it is that’s bothering you is as hopeless as that.”

Adam couldn’t take his eyes off of Ronan, noting the way his lips thinned. “Oh, but it is. In my position. In my life.”

“Non ergo qui in vobis sunt terminum tibi.”

Ronan turned his head toward Adam again, and Adam felt a spark of fear over what he might do if he turned his head to meet Ronan’s eyes, blue as a never-ending lake stretching on and on until he drowned against the sand.

He turned his head anyway. The stars suspended above them, the leaves ceasing to rustle and shuffle, the party inside fading away until everyone disappeared into nothingness. Ronan lifted one hand from the railing and slid it along Adam’s cheek, his skin heating and jolting at the touch like Ronan himself was made of electricity and stardust, like the galaxies that Adam had once been were meeting their long lost particles in Ronan’s hand. In Ronan’s eyes, he could have sworn he heard words turning over and over.

Adam heard him whisper, then, the words that must have been bouncing in his head. “Pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death,” he muttered, the tail-end of something Adam couldn’t quite place. He parted his lips to speak just before Ronan kissed him.

Surprisingly, or perhaps not, he didn’t worry that he was kissing someone - kissing Ronan . For once in his life, he forgot about everything else. He didn’t worry about anyone inside or what anyone might think. That would come later.

Ronan’s lips pressed to his, and he tried to string a coherent thought together but was instead met with abstract, overjoyed ideas floating aimlessly in his brain instead. 

The press of Ronan against him was hard, sharp lines and corners poking into his chest and his hips and his legs, but his lips were soft and Adam tasted whiskey and powdered sugar on Ronan’s tongue and Ronan’s teeth flashed against his lip and he thought he might die, that the feeling may kill him if he did that again.

He didn’t have a chance to test that hypothesis, because Ronan pulled back and stepped away so quickly Adam almost fell forward onto his face. And then he hurried away, leaving Adam standing like an idiot outside of the White House ballroom at a party he was supposed to be hosting after just kissing a male member of the monarchy.

His only thought was, absently, if they’d kissed at midnight.

#trc #the raven cycle #pynch #pynch au #rwrb #rwrb au #trc rwrb au #adam parrish #ronan lynch #hennessy #jordan hennesy #blue sargent #richard gansey #richard gansey iii #maura sargent #henry cheng #wips #my wips #my writing #cw child abuse #child abuse tw

[ceealaina]

Title: who's gonna tell you things aren't so great? Collaborator Name: ceealaina Card Number: 3088 Link: AO3 Square Filled: R5 - Strawberries Ship: IronBros Rating: Teen Major Tags: Fluff and Angst, MIT Era, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting Summary: Jim Rhodes isn't sure how he feels about having the Stark heir for his roommate, right up until he meets Tony and finds he's the very last thing he expected. Word Count: 2340

(Also written for the prompts Drama, Overprotective, and ‘I dare you’ for @rhodeyappreciationweek)

It started on May 2, when Jim’s sister shrieking from the family room had brought him running. “Holy crap, Jimmy,” she had whispered, since their parents weren’t around to read her the riot act over her language. She had gestured wildly at the television. “You’re gonna go to school with the Stark heir!”

Jim had just rolled his eyes, once he had ascertained that there was no actual emergency. “Yeah, me and about ten thousand other people. I’m never even gonna see him, twerp, let alone meet him. And isn’t he like twelve anyway?” 

“Fifteen,” she’d interjected, all heart eyes, and that explained a lot. 

“Right, well, we’re hardly gonna become best buds so you can quit acting like he’s coming home for Thanksgiving.” 

But then his Residence Life Package had arrived, and stuffed into the back of the packet like an afterthought was an extra memo, getting into very detailed specifics about extra security and proprietary rights and privacy in dorm life. And a few weeks after that was the mysterious, free upgrade to a nicer building -- the building that had, in fact, just been slotted for a full remodel and update over the summer, including a top of the line student lounge. Nobody came right out and said it, but Jim knew his luck, and by the time August rolled around, he was pretty sure that Anthony Stark was going to be his roommate. 

*

Moving in was even more chaotic and crazy than Jim had expected, what seemed like thousands of freshmen with their families and all their stuff milling around, waiting for their turn to check in and get their room assignment and their keys. And while they were waiting, he couldn’t help watching all the other kids, wondering which one was his future roommate. 

He’d tried looking up Anthony Stark as his suspicions had grown over the past few months, but while there’d been a lot of mentions of him, the Starks had done a good job of keeping his picture out of the papers. The most recent picture Jim had been able to find was when Anthony had built his first circuit board. At the age of three. Because of course he had. 

So Jim had no idea who he was looking for, which meant that almost every person he saw had the potential of being him. For the millionth time, he let his gaze drift over the quad. There was a guy over in the north-east corner, trying to chat up some girl, who had actual movers there, like eight of them, lined up and waiting to shift all his stuff. And there was -- 

Jim winced as somebody moved away and he spotted a guy that he hadn’t noticed before. He was standing all alone beside a sad little pile of boxes, clutching the handle of a suitcase just a little too tight. He kept switching between looking around with quick, furtive glances, and then staring down at the ground, messy hair falling in front of his face, which was barely visible anyway beneath huge glasses. He had his back pressed up tight against the wall, like he was doing his best to make himself invisible. He looked young, too, and for a brief moment Jim thought that maybe… But no, that didn’t make any sense. The Starks were one of the richest families in America, and he’d read that the baby Stark was already being groomed to be the innovative future of Stark Industries. Of course they wouldn’t just leave him there like that.

He kept looking around, had his guess narrowed down to the guy with the movers and another guy who was simpering as his mother obviously fawned all over him. Neither one of them looked like someone he’d particularly want to be a roommate with, but he couldn’t find it in himself to worry about it. His gaze kept going back to the kid by the wall. Most of the other freshmen were happy, maybe a little nervous, but even the ones who were crying over leaving their families looked excited too. This kid though, looked absolutely terrified, and while he wasn’t crying, he had this quiet sort of sadness about him. His fingers were tapping out an uneven, nervous pattern against his thigh, and Jim felt something twist in his stomach. He’d just about decided to go over and introduce himself, because if anyone needed a friend it was this guy, but then he got distracted by some pointless argument with his sister, and when he looked back over again, the guy was gone, leaving a wake of guilt in Jim’s stomach. 

*

As it turned out, admissions had fucked something up with their check-in system, and so they were hours behind schedule. Rather than waiting in the hot crowd of people, the Rhodes family had elected to grab some lunch in a nice, air conditioned restaurant, and come back when the line had died down a bit. When they made it back to campus, his mother sent Jim up ahead to his room while the rest of the family started unpacking the car. He was hesitating outside the door, double checking the room number against the one scribbled on his sheet of paper, when he heard voices inside. 

“Dad, come on! Can’t you guys stay a little longer? At least until I finish unpacking?” 

The voice wasn’t whiny, or the usual irritated tone that Jim might have expected from a teenager arguing with his parents. Instead he just sounded sad, and so, so disappointed. 

“Anthony, enough!” an older male voice snapped back. “I thought you agreed you weren’t going to cause any drama today.” 

“I’m not,” Anthony said quickly, voice carefully neutral. “I just… I thought you guys would at least stay until I unpacked, and maybe we could get dinner or something before you go.” 

“Well, we’re not.” 

“That’s what all the other kids are doing.” 

It sounded like a last-ditch effort, and Jim could hear Howard Stark’s answering snort as clearly as if he’d been standing beside him. 

“‘What all the other kids are doing?’” he repeated. “And tell me, are you ‘just like’ all the other kids?” 

“No.” The answer was soft, quiet, and just a little resentful. 

“Howard…” That was from a quiet female voice, who Jim assumed was Anthony’s mother. There was a hint of warning in it, but Howard didn’t seem inclined to listen. 

“That’s right, you’re not. You’re a goddamn Stark, and it’s time to grow up and act like it. So no, Mommy and Daddy aren’t going to hold your hand through university. Stop crying about it.” 

Jim winced, feeling a little sick at the derision in his voice. This man was talking to his own son, his only child, and he sounded like he was completely disgusted by him. Jim had gotten in some pretty big arguments with his parents before, but he couldn’t imagine either of them talking to him with that cold indifference in their voices, no matter how angry they were with him. And worse, he couldn’t even figure out what Howard Stark really had to be angry about. His son wanted to have dinner with his parents, when he probably wouldn’t even see them again before Thankgiving? What was wrong with this man? 

 “I’m not crying,” Anthony protested, but even Jim could hear the waver in his voice. “I just… It’s the first day of university, Dad, and I’m younger than everyone here, and it’s… It’s supposed to be a big deal. I thought you’d stay a bit, is all.” 

“Jesus Christ,” Howard bit out, earning another reproachful murmur from his wife. “You know we only brought you up ourselves because it coincided with my meeting with Dr. Franklin. Grow up, Anthony. You may be younger than everyone else, but you’re still old enough to leave home. And if you’re old enough to go to university, you’re old enough to be a goddamn man about it.” 

“I didn’t even want to go to university yet! I wanted to wait until I was the same age as everyone else. You’re the one who insisted I start now, just because of the stupid Stark legacy and because of how good it would look for the stupid investors.” 

“What did you just say to me?” 

Howard’s voice had gone icy cold, and Jim felt unease ripple through him. 

“Howard, that’s enough,” his wife insisted, but he wasn’t listening. 

“No. What did you just say? Come on, son, say it again. I dare you.” 

Jim had never met Anthony Stark, but he felt a sudden wave of overprotectiveness toward him. Before he could think the better of it, he was shoving the door open, walking in with his box in hand like he’d just arrived. 

“Oh, hey!” he said, feigning surprise at the sight of the people in the room. He wasn’t exactly surprised to find that Anthony Stark was the kid he’d spotted earlier on the quad, but it somehow made his whole exchange with his father that much sadder, knowing how alone he’d been out there, surrounded by all those people with their families. He gave him a bright smile, pretending not to notice the red tinge across the tops of Anthony’s cheeks, or the way he gave a hasy swipe at his eyes. “I’m Jim Rhodes. I guess I’m your roommate!” 

For a moment, there was a long, slightly awkward silence, and Jim could tell that they were trying to work out if he’d heard anything. He didn’t let his smile falter, setting his box down on the empty bed. Without a word, Howard and his wife moved into action, saying good-bye to their son and preparing to leave. Jim kept half an eye on them as he unpacked his toiletries from the box and lined them up on his night table, watching Maria wrap an arm around Tony and place a gentle kiss on his cheek before Howard came over to shake his hand, the gesture cold and indifferent.

He didn’t hear what, if anything, they said to him as he left, but then they were gone. Anthony sank onto his bed in their absence in a way that was both disappointed and relieved. He seemed to have forgotten that he wasn’t alone in the room, and Jim found himself clearing his throat a little awkwardly. 

“Uh. You must be Anthony, huh?” he asked, offering out his hand. Anthony looked up at Jim with sharp eyes, and he could see the intelligence there. Somehow, for all he still felt sorry for him, he knew better than to think he was naive. 

“Tony,” he offered, taking Jim’s hand after a beat. “No one calls me Anthony.” He met Jim’s gaze. “My dad only does it when he’s showing off, or pissed at me. Or both.” 

It was said easily, like it was just an absolute fact that Jim had overheard Howard using the name, like that kind of exchange was normal, and Jim winced. Now that the immediate threat was gone, he wasn't quite sure what to do with himself, what to say besides ‘sorry about your family’ which seemed inappropriate, if fitting. But Tony seemed to have that covered too. 

“Strawberry?” he offered, out of the blue, and Jim blinked as he was met with a glass bowl full of fresh, plump strawberries. 

“Uhh…” 

Tony gave him a shy, sweet little smile, at odds with the resigned look he’d been wearing before. “Jarvis, our butler?” He made a face, like he knew how that sounded, and then waved it off. “He snuck them in for me. He knows they’re my favourite.” He shook the jar a little, looking hopeful. It felt like a lot more than a strawberry, Tony so easily sharing the one small bit of joy in what seemed to have been an absolutely shitty day, and Jim didn’t know what he’d been expecting from the Stark heir, but it sure wasn’t this. He took one, popping it in his mouth and Tony beamed at him, looking absolutely delighted that his little gift had been accepted. Jim felt himself getting pulled into the force of that smile. He was pretty sure Tony Stark was going to be the end of him, and he was pretty sure he was going to love every minute of the ride. 

“Listen,” he said quickly, taking a seat beside Tony. “My family’s gonna be here any second, and I feel like I should apologize in advance, because they can kind of be a lot. They mean well, I promise.” 

Tony offered up another shy little smile. “You don’t have to apologize for that,” he told him, a wistful note in his voice. “It sounds… Nice.” 

“Yeah, it kind of is,” Jim admitted. “But you’ll find out soon enough. My momma kinda tends to adopt people, and she’s gonna be ready to trade me for you in about five seconds.” 

Tony gave a little giggle at that, ducking his head, and Jim had to resist the sudden urge to coo because good lord, he was adorable. He felt another surge of anger toward his terrible family; someone thi sweet didn’t deserve that kind of bullshit.

“Anyway, they’re planning to drive back to Philly tonight, and my dad’s already getting antsy about how behind schedule they are, so they probably won’t stay too long once they get me settled. You wanna grab some dinner after they’re gone? Maybe wander around and try to figure out this campus?” 

“Really?” Tony looked heartbreakingly startled. “You want to have dinner with me?” 

Jim nudged against his shoulder. “You seeing a whole lotta other roommates in this room that I’d be grabbing dinner with?” 

Tony snorted, but there was a flush spreading across the tops of his cheeks, a goofy little grin twitching at his lips. “Yeah,” he said softly, half to the bedspread, half glancing shyly up at Jim. “I’d like that a lot. That sounds like a great way to end the day.” 

@tonystarkbingo

#tonystarkbingo2020 #tsb2020 #rhodeyweek2020 #ironbros #james rhodes #tony stark #fluff and angst #mit era #protective rhodey #howard stark's a+ parenting #tony stark needs a hug #fic #my fic

[incorrect-ego-quotes]

It's December 1st. Whose screaming Christmas carols, whose baking Christmas treats, whose decorating, who doesn't care, whose putting up mistletoe everywhere, whose shopping for presents every second, who forgot presents, who purposely didn't get presents and whose constantly asking for a puppy? (Sorry this so long, I just kept getting ideas!)

IM SORRY THIS IS DAYS LATE BUT I L O V E CHRISTMAS I HAVE TO DO THIS ONE. ALSO FORGIVE ME THIS IS /LONG AS FUCK/--the ipliersthe jim twins are as excited as, well, a kid on christmas morning. wearing santa hats, candy canes in their mouths, they even decorated their mic in red and green ribbon. the two practically shrieking out christmas songs -- much to everyone's annoyance "CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE--""jesus christ," dark snaps, "can you two knock it off?! it's only the first--""WOULD YOU LIKE A MORE MODERN SONG OF JOY." jim twin #1 asks, holding up a worn book of christmas carols -- the same one they've had since they were 4. passed on from dear old Mother Jim."no! this season is so grossly happy and joyful -- leave me to work--""I, DONT WANT A LOT FOR CHRISTMAS." jim twin #2 starts off as dark covers his ears. why did they have to be the loudest egos? why cant they see how shitty of a holiday christmas is?!"THERE IS JUST ONE THING I NEED, DONT CARE ABOUT--"dark gets an idea and smirks. knowing one way he can get them to leave him alone. "santa isn't real."the two twins share an offended and angry look, mouths open, did he just?!"christmas was a pagan festival of gifts before being appropriated by romans based on the Odin myth."the jim twins cringe, holding their dear caroling book closer -- he...he has to be lying!"who is the god of war and death."the jim twins turn away offended as all hell. jim twin #1 throwing a candy cane in dark's face and hissing. "SHUN THE NONBELIEVER, JIM.""SHUN."they then run off to go do whatever christmas activity next -- dark hoping they won't take this caroling /publicly/.******ed edgar and silver shepherd are cooking in the kitchen. ed is a surprisingly good cook -- especially around the holidays. just ask anyone who's been to his thanksgiving or christmas dinners. silver only tagged along because he was tired of dark being a joy sucker out of the season."now," ed chuckles, "we're gon' need about a store's worth of flour.""...what?! wh--ed, why do we need a store's worth.""uh, /excuse you, youngin'/," ed points at his pink and white apron. almost annoyed, "this apron calls me chef in charge 'round here. you follow, don't question.""ed. first of all, that's wilford's apron. second of all, we probably only need one bag at most for gingerbread cookies. why would we need a--""listen. i'm only making one gingerbread man fo' everybody 'round here -- i take home the rest.""how...much exactly is the rest?""350."silver shepherd sighs, taking off his mask and gloves. ed still smiling away as if his idea was normal. well, no arguing with a stubborn man like ed. he grabs his car keys from the table as ed follows him, "your limit is 50 dollars for the ingredients." he mumbles. "i knew you'd come 'round!" ed wraps an arm around silver, "we're gon' have so much fun with these lil old cookies! i even have a homemade sugar icing recipe! i'll even make a lil cape fo' yours!" he silently doubted it but hey, its a hell of a lot better than spending his free time with an angry and annoyed dark. ******bim tugged the host along, holding onto the sleeve of his trenchcoat gently as he lead him into the meeting room. the tall green christmas tree standing proudly in the corner. decorations of red and green and gold littered the meeting room's table. the smell of pine hits the host before anything -- taking him back to his own cabin in the woods long ago. the trees covering him away from the world as he...the host shook his head. he hated those memories. he hated those dark times. he hated it all."wilford put us in charge of the tree this year," bim smiled to himself, "i know its a challenge with erm...""i'm blind?""yeah, that." bim sighs, grabbing the box of lights and unrolling them gently, handing the ball to the host, who held it with a strange look on his face."w-what's poking me?""lights, silly!" bim giggles. the sound making the host blush and laugh along. any time bim was happy, he was happy. "now, i'm gonna loop around the tree. you just follow along, yeah? tell me if ya get dizzy and we can slow down.""the host nods, holding the bundle of lights close to his chest. ready for the decorations -- reminding him of his most favorite time of year."bim shakes his head and laughs, "you can't ever turn that off, can you?""the host cannot."the two start off steady and slow. the host following bim's footsteps. he could hear the jim twins playing 'i'll be home for christmas' in the next room over -- their office space. "those two can never get tired of christmas, i swear.""the host reminds bim that it's worse for him since his own office is right next door to the twins."bim giggles, "well, hope ya like christmas as much as them." it's when bim giggles does the host wish he had his sight back. what'd he give to see his smile (although, according to dark, it looks like his -- he doubt it. bim was handsome, charming, while his smile held back pain he swallowed down.)in those small moments of thinking and wishing, the host stays in place. the lights tangling as bim gets wrapped up with the host, groaning as the tree falls gently against them. the two tied chest to chest, bim's hands resting on the host's hips. "um..." bim laughs nervously, blushing away, "hostie, bud, we're tangled.""i...is that you against me?""yeah...i'll -- i'll get us out!!"the music drowns out bim's struggles as he pulls at the lights. the host's thoughts screaming at him -- tell him!! now's your chance!! confess!!"i love...i love--""hmm?" bim perks up, "sorry, wasn't listening, what do you love?""t...this song!! i, i love it, it's my favorite christmas song."he stops and hears bim laugh again, humming along, "its a good song."the host goes along with the lie, singing along as bim rests his head on the host's shoulder to get around to the lights behind him. "if only in my dreams."yeah, only in his dreams -- bim had matthias, what did he have? nothing but his dreams of what could be with the two of them. at least, for a moment, he had the courage to change that. maybe that's what he'll ask for this year; courage. ******dark crossed his arms and continued to work in his office. he could smell cookies baking, he could hear christmas songs being sung, and he could see holly being hung in the halls. how stupid -- the other egos should be /working!/ do they think they can take over mark's channel with all this fooling around?! he slams the laptop he'd been using shut and stares out his window. even the fuckin' /city/ was covered in red and green, fake reindeer and sleighs all around, snowmen (who bought fake snow to LA?!) waving in the cold breeze. he face palms himself. a headache coming on. he hated winter, he hated christmas, he hated everything about the holidays.it...brought back memories he didn't want to dwell on. memories of christmas morning...in a mansion of some sort. fuzzy memories of a woman, a man, and that damned mark -- all enjoying...hot chocolate with marshmallows. opening gifts like.../a family/."heeeeey darkidoo," wilford bursts into his office. the jim twins still throwing (sharpened to a point) candy canes at dark's door. "what do you want, wil?""geez," he shuts the door, dark's back turned towards him, "what's up with the jims? ya do something?""other than not engaging them in their childish behavior -- not, i did nothing." he sighs, "did you finish the weekly schedule for this month's programming on Markiplier TV?""gimmie another day--""damnit, wil! stop -- just stop! stop with this foolish nonsense, this holly jolly bullshit! i hate this season and i hate the way it makes everyone--" he stops as he hears wilford set down something on his desk and wrap an arm behind him. hugging him. "dark," he sighs, "just...take it easy, okay? it's december -- at least be happy the year's almost over, and be happy you still got us. hell, be happy some egos are working like doc and google." he smiles, "just...be happy we're all still here to celebrate the season. and nobody's gone."there's silence as dark hangs his head low. "i'll leave you alone for a while. i gotta confiscate the candy canes from the jims. i'll see you at home, dark."he squeezes around dark once more and moves to leave, stopping before he opens the door, "oh! i...i found that while looking for the christmas tree in the storage back home. i...i have a feeling it's yours. broke it in for ya!" he laughs as he leaves. dark turns around to see a black mug with a cursive 'D' on it. an intense emotion of...nostalgia rushing over him despite not remembering the mug. he stares out the window again as he holds the hot mug to him. he looks down to see hot chocolate and marshmallows. he smiles and sips the hot drink. this season isn't so bad after all with people like wilford in his life.--the septiceyesthis...was going to be the best surprise, marvin thought to himself. thanks to a new trick he'd learned -- he successfully figured out how to move the mistletoe to wherever he wanted, as if he had hung them everywhere. he was sure it'd be a laugh to see everyone's reactions. making anti kiss the pizza delivery guy, making dr. schneeplestein kiss whatever old patient he was seeing, maybe making robbie kiss his reflection. it'd be hilarious nonetheless. marvin, the marvelous magician, shall wow and dazzle his fellow egos!!he hid behind the couch in the lobby of their headquarters, where they hold their meetings, and waited.and waitedand waited/and waited/.growing tired as nobody walked by, had they found out about his plan? did nobody just need to come this way?he saw jackieboy man walk by and perked up, using his wand to move the mistletoe closer under him, rushing out the door to call him back as he left."j-jackie!! hey...oh shit," he looked up as he noticed he was directly under the mistletoe.jackieboy raised an eyebrow before looking up. "aha, you want to meet me here?" he smirks, catching marvin's chin in his fingers, flipping down his mask and red hoodie, soft green hair cascading down his face. a blush crossing marvin's cheek."just us two? alone here, the christmas decorations and lights lighting up your face so softly...""um, i mean--""here? under..." jackieboy looks up. suggestive. marvin not knowing if it was humanly possible to blush anymore."jackie...""THE MISTLEFOE?!""wha--" he ducked as jackieboy tackled him, wrestling him to the floor as chase and anti walked by. anti shouting as chase winced."get the magic nerd!! get the magic nerd!!" anti shouts"THE HELL IS A MISTLEFOE?!" marvin yells as he taps out with his wand from jackieboy man's headlock. ripping away his cat mask."pssh, the mistlefoe!! put two people under that," jackieboy points to the mistletoe, "and have 'em duke it out, fight and stuff. you dont know about the best winter tradition?""erm...its actually meant for the two to--" chase is cut off as marvin uses his wand to seal his lips shut, chase giving him the middle finger and pointing to his lips.marvin used his magic to burn the magic mistletoe attached to the doorframe. cringing as jackieboy man helped him up. helping him walk to dr. schneep's office"better luck next year, magic boy!!""....i hate working here," marvin coughs as he waits for the doctor. this, was going to be a very long winter. ******the doctor clocks out early, waving goodbye to the other egos....at 10 am, after working for 45 minutes."dude, ya can't just up and leave!! we need help with decorating!! and baking the cookies!!" jackieman boy yells as chase nearly stumbles carrying in the tree. "i must!!" the doctor yells, "chase, you are in charge until i get back at...well, just know you're all working late tonight!"chase gives a thumbs up, pointing at anti as he walks by, already directing them all.the drive to the mall isn't too long, he runs towards the opening, still in his doctor uniform. this time of year was perfect for his giving heart. already having a mile long list of gift ideas for every one of the egos in his pocket, his credit card with his savings from all his paychecks since last year loaded onto it -- no price limit for anyone!! and he finally healed from his injuries after black friday and cyber monday!! (hey, those internet shoppers are no joke)he practically skips into the mall with glee at the decorations. giant christmas gift boxes, fake snow, even a 'winter wonderland' with a fake santa -- wait...was that his patient bobby dressed up? bobby with the bad smoking habit?"i hope he cleaned up for the kiddies," schneep says to himself as he rushes into the first store -- a new camera for chase on the top of his list!!he gets everyone everything -- new knife collection for anti!! a new tux for marvin!! every single marvel movie for jackieboy man!! stuffed animals and candy for robbie!! a top hat for dapper jack!!and that's just for the first day of december, he plans to do this all until christmas eve, already having different wrapping for each ego's gift. until he sees it. his own personal wish. the 35 book set of medical mysteries -- all in order, and all for him.until another hand touches the set too. dr. iplier staring at him from the other side of the shelf. downright glaring. "henrik.""edward."the two stare back in spite -- no, schneep /needed this/. he worked too damn long this year to be bested by some quack doctor ego."aha," schneep laughs, obviously fake, "what are you doing here?""shopping for christmas. i was just looking at this book set i wanted for myself."fuck. schneep tugs on the set. dr. iplier's hand not going away. "oh, really?" he smiles coldly, "so. was. i."dr. iplier tugs, schneep tugs, the two turning into a tug of war before schneep pulls him against the wooden shelf in the bookstore, yelling as they fight it out. the early morning shoppers crowding around them, recording as schneep hold dr. iplier in a headlock. "THOSE BOOKS ARE MINE, YOU PRICK.""OVER MY DEAD BODY, QUACK.""OH THAT CAN BE ARRANGED, BITCH.""TRY ME, YOU ASSHOLE."schneep pulls out the scalpel he keeps in his pocket. the two fighting more, knocking displays over and taking it outside to the winter wonderland exhibit. children running and screaming as they crash into santa's sleigh. finally -- they're broken apart by santa (bobby). schneep grabbing his items from the bookstore and rushing out the mall. not wanting to deal with police or security. wiping away tears as he drives back. thankfully -- good old smoking santa (bobby), his faithful patient, was head of security at the mall. "its christmas," he later told schneep on the phone (and dr. iplier), "just...stay outta the mall for a good two days and i'll pretend not a single thing happened"schneep wiped away tears as he layer learned -- hey, the bookstore had tons of copies of the book set they were fighting over, that was just a display!he, however blushes as chase, anti, and robbie crowd around chase's phone. the video from his fight going viral online. "doc!! you're trending under #ThoseBooksAreMine!! that's awesome as hell, you'll be a meme!!" chase praises. schneep shakes his head. nursing the black eye he has. he knows it'll be worth it when he sees their laughing and happy faces on christmas day.because he knows damn well, marvin would forget presents and anti would die before he got presents for anyone else.******"a puppy!!" chase smiles as he walks into their ego headquarters with anti. heavy coats and scarves on. a smaller dog being walked by a young boy trotting on. "ew." anti drinks the starbucks chase bought him, "dogs are gross--"chase gasps, "i...am offended on behalf of all dogs, dude!!" "what? its a dirty animal that tracks mud and barely listens.""sure you're not describing yourself, dude?" chase jokes as anti rolls his eyes. "how could you want a little disgusting creature like that?""they're cute, they're playful, they cuddle up to ya when its cold, they bark!!" chase goes on and on, sitting down in the meeting room as they wait for the others, "they keep ya company, they nip at ya when they're hungry, they...they love you unconditionally...they...won't be taken away from ya," he stops, sniffling. tears forming in his eyes, memories of christmases long gone hitting him. seeing his son and daughter excitedly wake up him and stacey to open gifts. going ice skating. baking cookies.shit."...chase?"chase shakes his head and wipes a tear, "sorry, bro. i...i'm just caught up in my feelings. this time of year and, missing my kids."anti looks down into his coffee cup. damn, chase has been through a lot. he's the only ego who keeps it together -- not like him who just...glitches out at emotions. "...it's fine." anti grumbles under his scarf, "i'm sure this christmas will be...okay.""really?" "...yeah, really. even with that stacey keeping the kids, this christmas will be worthwhile. i mean, we got...decorating and shit to do today. that'll take your mind off it, right?""y-yeah, and the kids are suppose to call after school...and, and stacey's letting me come to their christmas play!! you're right, for once, anti!!" chase smiles and hugs him, anti awkwardly patting back. "okay...hug's been too long, don't push it chase.""sorry."...everyone had called chase a dumbass to give a copy of his apartment keys to anti. everyone had doubted anti would show any spirit in the season. everyone had doubted chase would get anything he really wanted for christmas, even schneeplestein.anti snuck into chase's apartment that christmas eve. chase down for the night in his bedroom. a small 4 foot christmas tree decorated in lights and ordainments in the corner of his living room. a letter from his kids (that anti skimmed through) on the table. "let's prove all those dicks back at hq wrong," he whispers to the bundle in his arms. setting it under the tree. it'd been absolute hell to get anyone to allow him to take home chase's gift. grunting as he sat on the couch and nodded off into sleep. the dalmatian puppy slept too, a red collar around it's neck, tail wagging in its sleep as it was thankful for anti for getting him out of the cold shelter. excited to meet his new master in the cold christmas morning.

[nyctimus]

Text symbols meme thing for Ivanpez and Talix and like lit anyone else you wanna do it for.

Set in MB:R verse!

IVANPEZ-

MORNING text.

8:03 am [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Hi handsome! Don’t forget you promised to meet me for brunch at that cute little bistro on main, okay?! Can’t wait to see your pretty face! 🥰

text that WASN’T SENT.

9:30 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] My mother has enough money to cover the slack for us if you just quit your job

RUSHED text.

4:45 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] I’m SOOO sooo sorry I’m running late :((( Got stuck in the goddamn metroplex traffic, swear to god I’ll move to the wilderness and abandon the city completely one day. I’ll be there soon! Promise!

DRUNK text.

3:09 am [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Move in with me wuit your job. I’ll quit mine. We can go somewhere nice like ...  3:12 am [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Whefe? Where you what to go 3:13 am [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Beach? We c an skinny dip every night 3:13 am [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Hou can buiold a nice beach hut an I will make nice curtains for it, okay?

SUGGESTIVE text.

2:57 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you insisted on wearing that skimpy little white tank to work in just to try and tempt me to tear it off of you. 

LATE NIGHT text.

1:15 am [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Come here. I want cuddles, and my bed is nicer than yours

HATEFUL text.

5:44 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Peter. 5:44 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] I don’t know what I’ve done to upset you, but I promise I’ll right it. 5:49 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] What do you mean? Of course I have, why else would you have worn those atrocious, eye- searing shirts every day for the past WEEK if not to punish me? 5:51 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] What? 5:51 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Don’t be ridiculous. Of course you’re punishing me. 5:52 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Still too angry to tell me what I’ve done, I see. Okay. I’ll try again later.

RANDOM text.

2:32 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Gold or indigo? I can’t decide.

SCARED text.

6:45 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Hey, I thought you’d be back by now? 7:02 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Pete? 7:13 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Peter??? Please pick up 7:26 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Baby please

LOVING text.

10:50 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Good night, sweet boy, I hope you have the very best dreams... I know you’re nervous about tomorrow, but you shouldn’t be... you’re perfect. 10:52 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] You’ve got this. Now get some rest... don’t make me come over there 10:52 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Fine, then. See you soon

CURIOUS text.

3:13 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] What are your favorite appetizers? Salty or sweet? Party hosting has become just a little more complicated since I started caring more about your opinion than my own. Feelings can be so pesky sometimes 😛

EXCITED text.

3:13 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Pete!  3:13 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Can you believe we’re leaving on our veeeery first vacation together as a couple together today? Even if it’s just a little two day getaway, I’m SO excited, I’ve been looking forward to this all week. 3:13 pm [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Can’t wait to have you all to myself. You may be sick of me by the time this is over. Fair warning!

ACCIDENTAL text.

1:19 am [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Oh, I don’t know. I think it’s entirely possible I’m just a way for him to pass a little time. And I’m fine with that. Obviously. Why wouldn’t I be?

HEARTBREAKING text.

1:19 am [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] Pete? 1:24 am [Kolya → Lyubimiy❤️] My mother just died. I.... I’m packing to head home to Paris now. Can you go with me?

/ / /

TALIX-

MORNING text.

5:25 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] I know you’re sleeping and won’t even see this for another 6 hours or so, but if you come give me a ride home I’ll smuggle you a whole loaf of that cinnamon coffee cake you like. Please

text that WASN’T SENT.

10:17 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] How do you do it? Live like that constantly? It was a ten minute experience two months ago but I’m still having nightmares

RUSHED text.

3:59 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] K, I know Ellis would probably throw the entire knife drawer at your face if you show back up here but there are SO many drunk assholes here right now it almost seems worth it to beg you to come save me

DRUNK text.

9:42 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] U just reality want you to hold me brighttnkw 9:42 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] Plea.Se. And pet my hair, Anne kiss my nose. Ok?

SUGGESTIVE text.

4:35 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] I know this is fucked up, okay... 4:35 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] And idk if it’s the full moon or what, but I can’t stop thinking about you with your gun when I’m getting off 4:35 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] Your actual gun. Not your dick, love that one too but the one you... you know what I mean  4:35 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] The way you hold it. Your fingers. Those fucking veins in your arms, Jesus Christ

LATE NIGHT text.

1:32 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] Are you okay? I know it’s silly to be afraid for you every single time the news mentions turf wars and casualties, but I worry about you. Text me when you can

HATEFUL text.

5:18 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] Swear to fuck next stuck up ass businessman that walks through these doors, orders coffee and then wrinkles his nose when he tastes it is getting the whole pot poured on his fancyboy suit. Why do people come here wanting Starbucks? I’m going to scream

RANDOM text.

7:30 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] ...Pretty sure your kid is here staking me out right now. Not even subtle. Staring me down as I text this. Should I be concerned? Pretend I don’t know him? SOS

SCARED text.

4:06 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] I think someone’s following me. I keep seeing the same car. At work, outside my apartment 4:07 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] In the parking lot at Krogers. What should I do? 4:08 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] I know if they see you it might make things worse but can you come get me? Please. I’m scared

LOVING text.

7:31 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] Hey, hot stuff. I’ll be dead to the world by the time you read this but I just wanted to tell you I hope you have a good day. Kick everyone’s ass. Don’t get arrested. 💖 xo

CURIOUS text.

9:22 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] What do you have planned for Thanksgiving? My brother’s hounding me to bring you back to the farm. No pressure either way. He’s kind of a lot. I think he wants to shovel talk you, so... feel free to be busy, haha

EXCITED text.

5:48 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] You know that cat I’ve been leaving canned tuna out for for like, the last month and a half? 5:48 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] SHE CAME INSIDE 5:48 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] And killed my favorite plant, but! SHE CAME INSIDE!!!

ACCIDENTAL text.

8:57 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] I know you’re just worried about me, and I get that 8:57 pm [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] But you need to fuck off. It’s none of your business, man

HEARTBREAKING text.

6:22 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] I know I’m being an asshole doing this over text 6:22 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] But I’ve been trying for weeks to say it in person, and I just can’t. I look at you and it wipes everything else out of my brain 6:22 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] I don’t know how to commit to a guy with a kid. 6:22 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] And I know you warned me, first thing, and I know I’m being horribly selfish 6:22 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] I just. I guess I’m looking for something else. 6:22 am [Felix → Sweet Po-Tate-o 🍠] I’m sorry.

/ / /

DONNY/GRAHAM-

MORNING text.

7:37 am [Graham → bitchboy] it’s cold, jackass. if you’re gonna fucking leave me here to freeze by myself you could at least turn up the heat wtf 7:37 am [Graham → bitchboy] inconsiderate motherfucker

text that WASN’T SENT.

7:36 am [Graham → bitchboy] please come back, i dont sleep as well without you

RUSHED text.

6:44 pm [Graham → bitchboy] fucking setup? target expecting me so find your leak

DRUNK text & ACCIDENTAL text.

2:57 am [Graham → bitchboy] i wasfn EXPECTING him, tyler 2:57 am [Graham → bitchboy] i mean everypnoes heard of him. what an asshole he is. cause he is. but hes this asshole who owns a TEDDY BEAR 2:59 am [Graham → bitchboy] of course you won’t believe nme but im not lyin i swear it on my mams grave 3:02 am [Graham → bitchboy] and its not his sons. its his. its so cute. hes cyte. ill stab your duck if you tell anyone 3:03 am [Graham → bitchboy] duck 3:03 am [Graham → bitchboy] duck 3:03 am [Graham → bitchboy] y ouknow.  3:04 am [Graham → bitchboy] god. 3:04 am [Graham → bitchboy] its’ terinle

SUGGESTIVE text & EXCITED text.

11:52 pm [Graham → bitchboy] finally finished up here. 11:52 pm [Graham → bitchboy] eta 47 mins, have your office clear and my reward ready ;)

LATE NIGHT text.

12:02 am [Graham → bitchboy] sometimes i feel like you’re intentionally giving me the lamest possible fucking targets. wtf. i like killing bitches that will stab me back, not pushing pathetic ass grannies down the stairs while her 50 cats watch me? im picking my own files from here on out 12:03 am [Graham → bitchboy] and im bringing the cats 12:03 am [Graham → bitchboy] maybe youll think twice before pulling this shit on me again

HATEFUL text.

6:26 pm [Graham → bitchboy] you sign my paychecks. thats it. you dont get to tell me what to do outside of that. dont get it twisted just because were fucking, asshole

RANDOM text.

8:32 pm [Graham → bitchboy] idc what we do for dinner but i really want cheesecake so

CURIOUS text.

4:30 am [Graham → bitchboy] idk what you and dj usually do for holidays. should i head out? i can crash at my old room at tys, i dont mind

SCARED text & LOVING text & HEARTBREAKING text.

4:29 am [Graham → bitchboy] idk, got me good thus time. pulling over. behind sunoco on 35. dont wnna crash but you should send someone to gt rid of the folders if not my body too by rhen. too much evidence sorry 4:30 am [Graham → bitchboy] im really sorry 4:30 am [Graham → bitchboy] i love you. sorry for not telling you until now . sorry. im so sorry

#iheardarumorxxx #talix #ivanpez #donny & graham #graham is a man of few texts it seems #i was kinda lost with the excited one so just smushed it with the suggestive #bc thats abt as excited as hed get over texts

[wednesdays-in-paris-at-cafes]

rant time!!!!!! and I won’t be writing in textbook this time (*room goes silent* *person falls over* *faint whisper of ‘who are you and what did you do to Jenny’*) I am going to strangle slaughter murder etc etc the next person who fucking D A R E S to utter “whaaaaaatttt??? why don’t you celebrate Christmas???? that’s so sad!1!111!111!!111 :((((((((((” because listen up you ignorant buffoon,,,,, Christmas. CHRISTmas. CHRIST. AS IN JESUS CHRIST. AS IN CHRISTIANITY. AS IN IT’S A CHRISTIAN HOLIDAY. AS IN A HOLIDAY ORIGINATED FROM A RELIGION THAT ONLY 31% (as of 2015) OF THE WORLD’S POPULATION NEWS FLASH: NOT EVERYONE IS CHRISTIAN!!!! Wow shocker who would have thought that there were people in the world who followed other religions or no religions at all!!!!! the more you know!!!!!1!!1111111!!! ok, I get it, secret santa is super fun and something I look forward to every year and fairy lights are pretty and pine trees smell like heaven and Christmas carols are such BOPS and presents are really nice and I love shopping for my friends and I love writing cards and seeing the world lit up is beautiful and everyone becomes so much more loving and giving and grateful when they are in the holiday spirit (for the sake of my peace of mind, we are not going to even THINK about the whole situation where the world goes 180 between Thanksgiving dinner and the wee hours of the morning on the Friday after) and it’s really nice and all and there are many who have adopted the holiday without believing in the religious aspect of it (and there are many who are understandably upset about that) and some people use the time they get away from school and work to host family friends and throw parties and have family dinners and it’s all REALLY nice in a lot of ways, but it’s not sad if someone doesn’t celebrate it. Maybe they are missing out on something that has always been a part of your life and has brought you and the people you know a lot of joy and it’s something really fun that they don’t traditionally take part in. But it’s not a tragedy to wail at. It’s just not a part of their religion, their culture, their family traditions, their upbringing. Or maybe they have a holiday of their own right around the corner, and maybe that holiday once had a more brilliant spirit that died when they left behind a homeland and to a world that barely acknowledges their holiday as something special and treasured and valuable. It’s not sad, stop playing the pity game. By all means, invite them over for your family’s Christmas dinner if that’s what would make all parties happy, get them something nice that you know they will appreciate regardless of whether or not their celebrate the holiday if you know they would be okay with it. But don’t make that face at me. I might want to hurt you for it. 

#jenny rants #oh and happy holidays to everyone who celebrates them #and have a wonderful day/night/etc to everyone else

[quinten-sawyer]

Time Now For Sleep || Raul, Qhuinn and Quinten

Who: @southernxwolf @rauldantedrago @quinten-sawyer

What: Raul’s body finally reaches its limits, and he collapses from exhaustion. Luckily, Qhuinn is nearby to help. She calls in reenforcements in the form of Quinten and they make sure he’s steady on his feet before sending him on his way

Where: Hallway and empty room of one of the academic buildings

Notes: Raul is in bold, Qhuinn in italic and Quinten is normal

It had been a rough week, something about the week had simply been off to him. Maybe it was the fact that everyone kept talking about family and he was reminded that he had no one to call or write. Or maybe it was something else entirely, he had no idea. He'd thrown himself into his work, reading, studying, doing homework. A desperate attempt to distract himself from. He barely slept, missed a couple of meals, and the next he knew the world began to spin. Somehow he ended up on the ground, he didn't know how, but here he was, staring up at the ceiling and desperately trying to keep his eyes open.

Thanksgiving had come and gone without much of her usual pomp and circumstance. Oh, she still baked up a storm at Southern Moon, and even made she and Remus their own little Thanksgiving dinner. But other than that, she hadn't celebrated like she normally would have. It was her first holiday without Clay, and she really hadn't wanted to do much more than hunker down with a few joints and a Harry Potter marathon. Now that it was all over, it was time to put her big girl panties back on and get back into the real world. Before Christmas brought on a whole new round of the blues. Armed with a case full of mini pies, she made the rounds of the Professor's offices, leaving little surprises for her friends. A flash of sadness that was not her own caught the wolf's attention, stopping her in her tracks. But not for long, as it was soon followed by the sound of a body hitting the ground. Setting her box aside, she raced towards the sound.

Vaguely, he wondered if dreams would escape him if he simply passed out. Maybe, for once, he could get a full nights sleep without worrying about waking someone else with his nightmares or the tightness of fear that would cross his chest. It almost sounded pleasant. Maybe that's why he wasn't making the effort to get up, or he was unable. Which of them he was unsure. The room was still spinning and he found himself turning onto his side so that he could press his cheek into the cool floor. God-- that felt nice. 

Qhuinn dropped to her knees next to the young man who had, or at the very least was in the process of, passing out. On closer inspection it looked like he wasn't quite there yet, which meant she had time to call for backup. An odd concept that she was still trying to get used to. After so much time on her own, it was nice having someone she could call. She assesed the man first though, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Hey..you're going to be fine. Can you tell me your name? I'm Qhuinn, the school nurse. Have you been ill or anything?" she asked, as her fingers swiftly checked his pulse then pulled up Quinten's number.

Quinten was busy making sure to take a comprehensive list of their stock. He wanted to make sure that everything was accounted for- especially since it was a slow day. Of course, as they had always warned him at the hospital, never to mention a slow day because it was the sure fire way to make it pick up. His phone rang and he jogged to it, seeing it was Qhuinn calling him. "Hey." He said, falling silent as he heard that she needed his help. Someone was passed out. "Be there in a moment." He said, grabbing his little bag of supplies before teleporting to where she said she was. He recognized the man on the ground- it was the one he had warned to rest otherwise this would happen.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Of course someone had managed to find him before he picked up. His chest seized slightly in panic as he imagined himself getting into trouble for the lack of care he took of himself. He was property after all. He needed to placate the woman, let her know he'd just slipped and would be okay. So he tried his best to say that but only found one word coming from his mouth, "Fine..." He waved his hand around before his head fell back to the ground and his eyes closed. Jesus Christ, he was pathetic.

 “Thanks. He’s stable, I’m getting his vitals right now” Qhuinn replies, then turned her attention back to that young man. Her senses detected no illness, at least nothing strong. So it was likely exhaustion, if she had to venture a guess. “Fine?” she smirked softly. “So the floor just looked like a good place for a little siesta? Well, you don’t smell sick but I still think you should let me and my colleague look you over. Don’t worry..he’s much prettier than I am” she smiled gently, trying to put him at ease while they waited for Quinten. “There’s nothing you want to tell me..? Not even your name?”

Quinten was glad that Qhuinn knew what she was doing- and that apparently she happened to be in the right place at the right time. He was also relieved that the man seemed to be stable. He still popped over, but a bit too far since his aim was a little off. He face palmed as walked over, holding back a little to hear and observe what was happening. He had to suppress a laugh at her comment, but once he heard that the young man didn't even want to disclose his name. "It's Raul right?" He said softly, kneeling across from Qhuinn. "Vitals?" He asked, already having his suspicions but he trusted Qhuinn to detect if there was something more serious than lack of sleep.

It wasn't that he didn't want to give his name, just that he was having a hard time getting his mind to focus on anything but the utter panic that he would be getting in trouble for this. He  took in a sudden deep breath when the man spoke his name and he nodded slowly to show that he wasn't trying to withhold it or cause any trouble. He knew why he was on the ground, lack of sleep and not getting proper nutrition was most definitely the cause. "I'm sorry..." He apologized suddenly, "--I didn't mean... I can get up." He tried then, trying to get into a seated position to show that he really was okay.

Qhuinn met Quinten's startling blue eyes and gave him a grateful smile for getting there so fast, especially when it seemed he already knew the male. That is, until Raul's panic caused her to flinch and bite her lip. "It's okay" she assured him "You're not in trouble or anything. We just want to help. Ah..pulse is a little weak but nothing to be alarmed over. Heart rate seems fine" Qhuinn looked back to Raul, her arm shooting out to support him when he tried to sit. "Just take it easy, okay? Would you be more comfortable if we moved you into an office?" There were a few empty ones around them, and at least that way he would have some privacy.

There were definitely many benefits to his ability to just teleport and seeing the gratefulness on Qhuinn's face was currently at the top of his list. He was quickly disappointed though when he saw it was the man student he had bumped into in the lobby and had told to rest to avoid this. Nothing to be done about it now. "I promise, we're just a nurse and a doctor here." He said, trying to reassure him, knowing that with their statuses, he was worrying about repercussions- and that was not what he was interested in. "Good. I think it's probably just exhaustion." He said, though it could also go hand in hand with other stuff. They moved to brace him as he sat up and he nodded as she offered to move him. He stood for a moment to peek into a window and found the room next to them empty. He pulled Raul to his feet and wrapped an arm around him. "We'll go slow." He said, looking to Qhuinn to take the other side, pleased they would be able to take their time checking him out now that they weren't out in the open.

He'd never trusted doctors, and maybe that was because the ones he had seen as a child and then as a young adult have never cared all that much about his well being. He cleared his throat softly and flinched slightly as the man got him up, bracing him against the sturdier man. All of the contact he'd had since his mother had died was either pain or someone taking advantage of him here. "Don't tell them." He found himself whispering, eyes opening so that he could look directly at Quinten and then glancing at Q. He didn't know her, but for some reason he was more worried about the man who had warned him about this.

Qhuinn nodded at Quinten's words, giving a small sigh when she felt his distrust. It was something that she was sadly used to though, especially from new grant students. She and Quinten were still seen as the enemy by some, even though they were in a position to help and heal. She still respected that fear and distrust though, keeping her distance and letting Quinten do most of the legwork as Raul already knew him. "We don't have to tell anyone. Anything that you tell us will be in confidence, I promise. And if you're more comfortable with Quinten, that's perfectly fine too" she assured him softly.

Quinten thought that this was going to be an uphill battle with him- and a lot of the slaves really. There was probably always going to be a certain level of distrust. At least he had Qhuinn with him as well. More people always helped reduce the tension. His heart twisted at the soft plea not to tell them. He wasn't entirely sure who them was but he could only imagine it could be any on a long list of people. He was curious about her offer but he agreed easily. "Its up to you. We're just here to help you." He said, settling him down into the big comfy chair for the professor. "Okay, so tell me, how much sleep have you had in the  past three nights?" He asked, pulling up chairs for both him and Qhuinn

It was a little overwhelming to have them both here staring at him, but the idea of being alone with Quinten was just was scary, if not more scary. He wanted nothing more than to lay down and sleep, but somehow he managed to keep himself upright in the chair. A chair that was more comfortable than most of the ones he got to sit in on a day to day basis. He closed his eyes then as he tried to think of how much sleep he had gotten. "A couple of hours, maybe more... I've done it before..." He sighed. "I've never reacted like this."

Qhuinn perched her small form on the edge of the offered chair, not fully relaxing just in case she were given the proverbial boot. Raul seemed uncomfortable in general, but the fact that he at least knew Quinten already gave him the advantage. She was merely there to assist now. Once again..something to get used to. The wolf gave a little smile when Raul admitted to his lack of sleep. That was something she was all to familiar with, even before she had been bit and nightmares had plagued her sleep. Leaning forward ever so slightly, she gave the tiniest of sniffs, gray eyes closing as she took in the human's aura. "Maybe..it's because you haven't been eating right either?" she ventured delicately.

Quinten noted that Qhuinn wasn't fully relaxed in her chair, but he turned to figure out why the young man had collapsed. So, the easiest way was to ask, find out how much sleep he had had. A couple of hours over the past few nights was not good. He looked to Qhuinn, watching as she leaned forward to sniff, using her heightened senses to detect he hadn't been eating. "I would venture you're a little dehydrated and exhausted as well. A combination that was bound to add up to this." He said, digging in his bag to pull out a bottle of pedialyte and a meal replacement bar. "We're just going to hang out here until both of these are gone. Then you can either come back to the infirmary for a nap. No one will hurt you there."

Immediately he was on the defensive, he saw the way she leaned forward to sniff him and hated how his secrets would be splayed out to her. He swallowed roughly. He had a bad habit of forgetting to eat when he was caught up in what he was doing. He let his mind get carried away and then it was late at night when he finally remembered that he should be eating.  He looked at the items the man pulled out of his bag and made a face. "That's the stuff kids get when they refuse to eat." He swallowed and looked at the woman then, unsure of her and what she might be. Hesitant because of it. He reached out then to take the items and unwrapped the bar.

Qhuinn sighed again, worrying her lip as she leaned back. Not to relax, but to put some space between herself and the male, as she seemed to be the one making him uncomfortable. She had tried to be sublte in her assesment, and as far as her empath powers went, she was. The sniff though, that had obviously been too much. Her senses and her powers were her best tool though, and she had no shame in using them. "Sorry" she whispered, sitting quietly now until needed.

Quinten quirked an eyebrow when Raul made a face at the bottle he pulled out, claiming it was for little kids who didn't want to eat. "I'm not judging since its part of my job, but you did just collapse because you didn't sleep or eat, despite my warning." He replied, pushing the bottle toward him with the look on his face like 'you're drinking that whether you want to or not'. He looked to Qhuinn when she apologized, trying to seem smaller. You're doing fine. He would be skittish no matter what He said, pushing the thought her way. He didn't want her to blame herself for doing what she needed to do. "So, what exam were you studying for?"

Raul looked at the woman who apologized and immediately was confused. Both of the other people in the room were far too kind to be masters at this place. Supernaturals were supposed to be mean and unforgiving, it made it easier to hate them for the position he was put in. Made it easier to not make connections. "I did sleep." He retorted to the man with a raised eyebrow. "After a master kept me up a majority of the night so he could fuck me." He clenched his jaw and took the bottle. He uncapped it and drank from it slowly, not realizing just how thirsty he was. Exam, shit, he forgot about that. His panic rose slightly with the sudden fear that he wasn't ready and wouldn't be if they forced him to sleep. English was harder for him than the other students as it wasn't his first language. "It's a general exam on forensics in humid climates." He was sure his italian accent only got thicker the more he realized just how tired he was.

Qhuinn rested her chin to her knees, letting Quinten take the lead and using that time to study him and his ways with patients. He had a calm bedside manner that she herself possessed, and it made her happy to see that their styles had the potential to mesh well together. A doctor who's ways she couldn't get on board with would only mean more stress for their patients. When she suddenly heard his voice in her head, she jumped and swallowed a yelp. She could communicate telepathically as well, but only in her wolf form. Obviously he had quite the collection of tricks up his sleeve. Smiling a bit, she just nodded then turned her attention back to Raul, looking pleased to see him drink. "You have a pretty accent" she blurted suddenly. "Where are you from?"

Quinten was relieved to hear that at least he had had some sleep. However, when he confessed that he didn't get much because a master had kept him up all night for sex, his face fell. He wished there was a way for him to enact some rule against that but for that to happen he would have to claim everyone- or rent them all. Something that was not possible at all. At the very least, he ended up drinking the bottle he had passed him. At least he was drinking it. On the other hand, he accidentally scared the crap out of Qhuinn with his thought projection. "Sorry." He said softly, giving her an apologetic smile, turning to the younger man to ask a question to distract him- but it backfired. He ended up looking more anxious than he had before. He answered him all the same but Qhuinn jumped into to help out, noting his accent. It was hard for him to place but he thought he had a few ideas. He wait patiently for the pair to keep talking but while they were talking, Quinten was watching how much of the drink and food was being consumed.

The bar was disgusting, he wouldn't deny that, but he ate it so that they would relax. That, and frankly, he was pretty hungry. The pedialyte was the easiest thing to get down, but he wished the man had just given him water instead. He watched the woman jump and watched her, taking note of the subtle interaction but not asking questions. He knew they could do many strange things. At the question he swallowed what he had in his mouth and moved to answer, "Italy, miss." He told her cordially. Feeling less like he was on edge and needed to protect himself. Now he was just trying his best to not be trouble.

Qhuinn's nose crinkled at the scent of the 'meal' bar. That wasn't food. But she really doubted that Raul would come back to the bakery with her for a real meal, at least not now. It made the cook in her squirm though, she couldn't help that much. Nor the angry frown that crossed her face when Raul mentioned what had kept him occupied for the night. She would never get used to..pretty much everything around here. "That's okay..just surprised me" she murmured back to Quinten, giving him a small smile. Her eyes then swung back to Raul, that smile warming even as she shook her head. "No Miss, just Qhuinn please. What part of Itlay?" she asked with sincere curiosity, head tilted.

Quinten knew that there were tastier things to eat, but it was a bar designed for those recovering from eating disorders, packed with everything you'd need from a meal in a smaller package. Of course, the pedialyte was along the same vein. He could've given him water but he needed to be rehydrated and the pedialyte was better at that than just plain water. He apologized for startling Qhuinn- he forgot she might not know about what angels could do. He did let the pair of them talk things over- it seems to be relaxing him. Or at the very least distracting him. She softly corrected Raul when he called her Miss but chose to focus on where he was from. He smiled at the thought of Italy. It was so beautiful there. "Its been so long since I've been to Italy. Its so beautiful there."

Somehow he managed to finish the entire bar and let out a sigh after he did so. He took in a deep breath and started in on the pedialyte again. He cleared his throat awkwardly after a moment, sometimes telling where he was from was a dead giveaway to the circumstances he was born into. "Mestre." He answered anyway, "It is Venice, the most dense part." He explained, also the place most prostitutes made their living. He smiled at the thought of Italy and where he had grown up. "I have not been back since I was fourteen. I wish to go back."

Qhuinn slowly began to relax a little more as the men in the room did as well. Her curled positon in the chair didn't change, but she at least wasn't perched on the edge anymore, like a bird waiting to take flight. She smiled a little at Raul's clear distate for the bar, and made the offer before even realizing the words were out of her mouth. "Pretty nasty huh? If you're still hungry we can go down to my bakery when you're up to it? I have the required leftover turkey sandwiches today but they taste so much better with my special cranberry sauce spead" she grinned. The way that Raul spoke of his home reminded her of her own fondness for New Orleans. "You will one day" she assured him softly. "I've never been either but it's on my bucket list. I want to go and study cooking and just eat pasta till I pop" she giggled.

Quinten had to stifle a laugh at the look on Raul's face as he begrudgingly ate the bar. Were they the tastiest thing? No. They were the best thing for him though. He had to smile though when Qhuinn offered to take him to the bakery and give him a sandwich of thanksgiving leftovers. "I would take her up on it. I don't even really eat but I eat her stuff because its that good." He said with a little laugh. He listened as the younger man talked about Venice. It appeared he had been gone for a long while though which was a shame. "I'm surprised you didn't say France to study but Italy does have some amazing food. I loved asking the gondoliers where they liked to eat because it always felt more authentic to me." He answered, grinning as Raul made it through almost the whole bottle of pedialyte so far. He wanted to ask why it had been so long for the young man but things were pleasant and he didn't want to ruin the calm that had fallen.

Raul made a slight face at the mention of Turkey, "I do not understand the Thanksgiving tradition..." He admitted. "Nor have I ever partaken. He licked his lips and shrugged his shoulders. "If I don't get back, I suppose there is a reason for it." He smiled grimly at the thought of Quinten in Italy, enjoying the things he couldn't anymore. He finished off the bottle and set the trash beside him. "But Italy is my home. I should have never left."

Qhuinn laughed softly, shaking her head a little. "I'm a sucker for tradition, what can I say. If turkey isn't your thing though, I have plenty of other things to pick from. My point is..if you'd like to and feel up to it, I'm offering. Not just today but anytime, on the house" she offered, a bit hesitant, as her generosity had been met with plenty of..backlash..in the past. And she understood, people tended to look for the catch when offered anything for free. But that had never stopped her from trying. "I'm sorry that you left..and that you miss it. But don't give up hope that you'll never be back. You can never tell what the future will hold" she whispered, her eyes full of compassion. Blinking back tears, she gave her head a little shake then smiled again. "How are you feeling?"

Quinten was surprised that he didn't like turkey but then to each his own and maybe it wasn't a thing in Italy like it was elsewhere. Thanksgiving was solely an American tradition so he wasn't surprised. He grinned when she offered him anything that he wanted, on the house. That sounded like a sweet deal but there seemed to be hesitation. Perhaps she was worried about him taking advantage? He couldn't imagine her caring about that though. He frowned a little when he heard Raul taking a pessimistic approach to getting back to Italy. There was always a reason for everything, even if we hated it. "You had a good reason for it. Sometimes the painful thing is the right thing. Don't lose hope." He said softly, reaching out and giving Qhuinn's hand a squeeze when she seemed to agree with him, emotion coloring her voice. He had a feeling the advice wasn't just for the other man. He turned to notice that the man had withdrawn a little but he had more color and the food and drink were both nearly gone. "I know the food and drink wasn't the best but I promise you'll feel much better soon."

It wasn't that he didn't like turkey, just that he didn't understand why everything was turkey all the time lately. He'd never celebrated the holiday before, not even when he had come to America. At the offer of anything he nodded his head, showing that he would consider it, though he wasn't sure he'd actually take the woman up on it. It was kind of her offer, but he was someone who preferred to not owe any debts to anyone. He already owed them both a favor now, he didn't want to add to that tally and maybe get himself into a situation he didn't want to be in. "You don't have to pity me..." He whispered. "I don't need it, there are other slaves who need more sympathy than I do. I'm well adjusted." He took in a deep breath through his nose and nodded his head, "Okay. Thank you, sir." 

Qhuinn glanced over when Quinten took her hand, giving him a small smile as her fingers brushed lightly over his before she returned the squeeze. Her reasons may have been different, but she really did sympathize with how Raul felt. She had no home. There was nothing left for her in New Orleans, her family was dead. And even though she knew the pack would welcome her with open arms in Vancouver, she wasn't ready to see yet if that reception would extend to Clay. For the first time should would spend Christmas on the island, with no where to go. That thought hit her suddenly, causing her to swallow hard, her voice still thick when she spoke again. "I don't pity you. I try to help anyone here that I can, regardless of who or what they are. That's just..me" she smiled lightly. "And my reasons may be different, but I can understand how you feel" She was quiet for a long moment, then gave another small smile. "How are you feeling? You look better already"

Quinten knew what it was like to miss home. Granted, he had an easy enough time going back if and when he wanted...but that didnt change the fact that there were times he missed heaven so much it hurt- but there was always the fear if he left, he wouldn't be allowed to return. Not until long after those he had met and befriended were long gone. Perhaps that was why angels weren't meant to spend too long on Earth. Immortality was a gift- until it became a curse as those around you don't continue on. He shook that thought away when Qhuinn squeezed his hand back gently and Raul told them not to pity him. "I don't pity you either. It is my job- our job- to care for you. To heal you and get you feeling better. That doesn't stop with giving you a meal bar and a bottle of electrolytes." He answered, nodding as Qhuinn let him know she understood. He was curious but he wouldn't ask. She would reveal more of herself in her own time. They both focused back on Raul, making sure he was recovering. He scooted a little closer and gently took his wrist, checking his pulse and watching his chest rise and fall. "You seem more steady now. We'll give it a few more minutes and then you're free to go- though I do hope that means you'll find a quiet place to get some rest."

The two seemed to share some sort of connection that he quickly found himself growing envious of. His hand clenched slightly at his side and he vaguely wondered what it would be like to have someone touching him affectionately without expecting anything in return. It almost seemed like a pipe dream. His eyes averted then when he realized he probably had been staring. It was extremely rude of him. Before he could answer Qhuinn's question, Quinten had moved forward and gripped his wrist in a movement that made his heart speed up slightly before it slowed once more. "I'm feeling better, thank you." He nodded and offered a smile that was only slightly forced. "Quiet." He confirmed though he was unsure of where he was going to come across that. Maybe he could slide under the bunks and try there for awhile. "I'll try."

Qhuinn's eyes grew a little round when she detected a pang of envy coming from Raul, and noticed the male watching, staring really, and she and Quinten. She gave both men a tiny smile, then very gently withdrew her hand from Quinten's. Not because she felt like they were doing anything wrong, but just because she didn't want to make the other male uncomfortable. Quinten took that moment to lean forward anyway to examine Raul, while she stretched a little and tried not to notice that the answering smile from the human was just a little forced. Well..hopefully that would change in time. "I'm sure that kind of thing is hard to find. I'm never home during the day, I'm either at the bakery or the clinic. And I have my own home. It's on the beach and the woods, nice and quiet. If you ever want to come and crash for a few hourse, just let me know" she offered.

Quinten, ever oblivious, had no idea why Raul's eyes were glued to them. He returned her smile and let her hand go as she gently pulled it away. It was whatever to him and he figured that it was about time he check on the younger man's vitals. He feared he might have startled the other man when he gripped his wrist. He made sure his pulse was a little more steady and his breathing was even. He was tempted to take his blood pressure but that might be a bit much. He nearly sighed when the man told him what he wanted to hear. He was tempted to look to her and roll his eyes but he wouldn't since he couldn't blame the man for his actions. He didn't know what the life of the slave must be like- and he had a feeling that had more to do with his restlessness than anything else. He thought it was kind of Qhuinn to offer up her place to let him crash. He was tempted to offer the same but he worried that the offer may be misconstrued. Or rather that he would some how feel obligated to do so. "That sounds like a nice place to relax and spend the afternoon undisturbed."

Raul had to admit it sounded nice. A small home where he could hear the waves crash and maybe forget the world for only a moment. But he quickly knew that would be broaching on territory he had told himself he'd never get into. Connections in this place would only lead to him being hurt even more than he already was. He felt the attention they were giving him and it was overwhelming. They would be watching him now, he knew that. He put a hand to his forehead and desperately tried to turn his thoughts anywhere else. "I can't... I'm sorry... I just... I can't." He shook his head. The woman seemed so kind, the man appeared to genuinely cared-- nothing good could come from that. He always tried so hard to keep everyone away from him, but these two seemed to have the ability to get through that and he couldn't.

Qhuinn regretted her impulsive offer almost as soon as the words left her mouth. Not because she didn't want this for the male, but just because he was already so seemingly skittish, such a huge offer wasn't going to help things. He would feel indebted to her, she assumed. Like he owned her something for her hospitality, even though she may not have expected more than a smile of thanks. Sure enough, he fidgited more, and she felt like an ass for disrupting whatever calm he had managed to find in those few minutes. How she always manged to stick her foot in it, she would never know. "No..I'm sorry. That was a lot to offer so soon. Let's just..start with a sandwich, whenever you're ready. And we can take it from there. No strings..I promise" she murmured, eyes flitting to Quinten. She could only imagine what he thought of her now, as bumbling of an idiot as she could be.

Quinten wished more than anything at that moment, that he could figure out what had happened to Raul that had left him so hurt. Yes, he was a slave but he didn't think he had been here for long enough that he had developed such a complex. It told him that there was a longer standing history of abuse.  The offer Qhuinn made was sweet- but it seemed to overwhelm the younger man. "Just take a breath, its okay. You don't have to do anything." He replied, not wanting the young man to have a panic attack. Qhuinn rushed to apologize and back track. It was reduced to just starting with a sandwich. She looked to him for a moment, looking away a moment later. She seemed almost embarrassed but that couldn't be right. She hadn't done anything wrong. "Baby steps. Sandwich is a good start- maybe some of her tasty baked stuff? How can anyone turn down cookies or a cupcake?" He said. He would suggest maybe making tiramisu or a cannoli- traditional Italian pastries but the other man might perceive that as going too far out of her way and Raul did seem to have issues accepting help without viewing it through an inaccurate lens.

Raul was sure he looked weak in that moment, like a blubbering idiot who couldn't accept help when it was offered to him. But he was tired and it showed on his face. He saw that they were being as kinds as they could be and while that scared him, he decided that they wouldn't expect anything in return for a sandwich. So he nodded his head, "Sandwich." He agreed then, letting them know that he was okay with that even if a part of him was terrified. If he didn't get some sleep soon though, he was sure that he would only grow more and more terrified. So he spoke slowly. "I just... I just need a couch or something for an hour or two. I can't sleep in the cells."

Qhuinn flushed deeply when Quinten looked at her, ashamed of letting her impulsivness get away with her. Her heart may have been in the right place, but the same couldn't be said of her head. She didn't want Raul to think she was pulling her Mistress card, or for Quinten to think her an incompetant idiot..but they probably both did at this point. But then Raul agreed to a sandwich, even as the fear that radiated from him made her heart squeeze in compassion. "Good..good. We'll start with that when you're ready, and just see where things go. No pressure..I promise. I'm really sorry if I made you feel that way, that wasn't my intention"

Quinten would soothe Qhuinn with a thought but he didn't want to startle her again so he let it go. He could tell the younger man was still hesitant to accept the help but at least they were kind of slowly wearing him down. At the very least, they- more Qhuinn than him- had managed to get him to agree to a sandwich. It was a huge relief. He would actually eat something and that would keep him up and functioning. When he heard that he just needed a nap- the cells were too hard to sleep in. It twisted at Quinten's heart but there was little he could do- especially if the man was reluctant to accept help. "You can come back to the infirmary with me- there are plenty of beds open and its quiet as well. I'm not sure where else there is..." he said, trying to think. The only other places he thought where they could guarantee quiet for him, would be his place or Qhuinn's but that would just be a repeat of a few moments ago.

Raul shook his head, "Don't apologize... Please." He took in a deep breath, he didn't like all of the constant apologizing, "You don't need to. It's okay." He gave the woman a soft smile to show that he really was okay. He took in a deep breath through his nose and turned his eyes to look at the man. Slowly, he nodded his head, "The Infirmary would be okay." He confirmed. No masters could grab at him if he was in the infirmary.  He licked his lips and looked back at the woman, part of him could tell that she was struggling with something. "Thank you." He offered the words to her, showing her that it wasn't her specifically that he feared.

Qhuinn took a breath, relaxing a little when Raul assured them that an apology wasn't needed. She wasn't so sure that was true, but she wasn't going to push the issue. Her heart had been in the right place..it was just her mouth that tended to get away from her sometimes. "Okay" she nodded, returning his smile with a warm one of her own. Her hand reached out to lightly rest on Quinten's arm when he suggested the infirmary, a good idea that luckily Raul seemed to realize and agree with. "You're welcome" she murmured. "We can go whenever you're ready. My bakery is in town but not far, if you think you're up for the walk? The only other thing I have is my motorcycle" she explained apologetically.

Quinten kept getting a little thrown off balance with the younger man. He felt almost as though they couldn't do anything right but he couldn't take it personally. Every person was different and he needed to remember that going forward. Qhuinn and Raul seemed to have found an even ground which was good. Once he heard the young man wanted a place to nap, that was something they could easily do. He invited him back to the infirmary for a nap and he felt a lot of tension leave him when the man agreed.  Oh thank God. Qhuinn's hand on his arm proved to him that she agreed. He hadn't realized she had meant her sandwich was for now but he was keeping his mouth shut. "If not I can get us there. Quick as blinking." He said, knowing he hadn't used his grace at all today aside from getting to Raul in the first place.

"I haven't been in town since I got here... unless shuffling to master's homes." He admitted. He licked his lips, wondering what it would be like to be there just for lunch. It would seem far too regular.  He let out a breath as he watched the man for a moment until his brow pulled together in utter confusion. "You can... What?" He understand that there were supernaturals here but what did he mean quick as blinking? Was the language barrier making him miss the meaning? "I don't understand." He kept his eyes trained on the man, cautious but also curious.

"It's really beauitful here actually.." Qhuinn murmured, a sad edge to her voice. It was one of the things about the island that confused and angered her so much. The beauty that hid the ugliness. Blue skies and white sands and crystal waters didn't make everything else okay. "If you're not ready today, I can come and get you at any time. We could take my bike. Have you been on a motorcycle?" she asked, with a little smile. Her vintage Harley was her pride and joy, something that she was always willing to show off. Qhuinn blinked a little too when Quinten mentioned getting there in a blink. It had to have been another of his tricks, why he had gotten there so fast after she had called. She'd just assumed that he had been close by, but apparently not.

Quinten had to wonder how long the man had been there- but then they weren't allowed to see the town without an escort so perhaps it wasn't as odd to him as he was imagining.  It was quite beautiful and it seemed a shame that they couldn't see it.  Qhuinn made sure that the offer stood for whenever he wanted it. To be honest, getting to ride on the back of her bike sounded like a pretty sweet offer. It seemed though, that his abilities were now the focus. He looked from one to the other, realizing they didn't know. "I can teleport- like nightcrawler but I can take you along with me. Makes getting around easier but it can be draining." He answered, giving Qhuinn a grin and then tilting his head at Raul. "I'm sorry I didn't say earlier- I'm an angel. Um...sono un'angelo."

He looked at Qhuinn and shook his head, "I uh... No. I've never been on one." He'd always admired them when he was a smaller boy, watching as people rushed by in motorcycles. He'd sat on one, but that was all. His eyes grew wide as the man spoke about teleporting and then the next question. He found himself rushing out in Italian before he could stop himself, finding it easier to slip into his native language. "Come stai un angelo? Sei stato gettato dal cielo?" His Italian was rich and came much easier to him than English ever did.

"I could sure use that ability when I'm running late in the morning" she chuckled softly, smiling back. She was fast, in both her human and wolf forms, her small stature built more for stealth and speed than power. But what Quinten described sounded a lot cooler. "You'll have to show me one day. I guess it's kinda like Apparation, in Harry Potter.." she mused, then blushed a little as her geek side showed. When Raul mentioned never being on a bike before, her smile widened. "Well, say the word and I'll take you for a little spin one day. There's really no feeling like it" The two began to converse together in Italian then, and she just sat back and watched. It was pretty sexy really, and she couldn't help but grin to herself as she listened.

Quinten wondered if riding the motorcycle would feel like flying. He had to imagine that it would be exhilarating, wind whipping in your hair. he could definitely understand why she owned the bike. He hadn't thought the populated area of the island that large where it would be necessary but who needed necessary when you had fun? Of course, he realized too late, he relieved more of himself than possibly necessary. It didn't matter- too late now. He had to explain teleporting and he flashed Qhuinn a smile when she conveyed to apparation from harry potter. "Yeah! It is exactly like that. Maybe I should say that instead of teleport- that sounds too...star trek." He said, knowing that he would definitely show her whenever she wanted. The younger man still seemed a little confused as to what teleporting had to do with anything, so he told him he was an angel, trying again in Italian. The look on is face made it worth every bit of time he had spent all those years ago learning Italian. He shook his head at the question. "Non sono caduto, ho scelto di venire dal cielo per guarire tutti." He replied, looking to Qhuinn and blushing. He didn't mean to exclude her by switching languages but this was the most alive he had seen Raul yet.

"I know Harry Potter..." He said then, keying onto the words, "I have never watched." He waved his hand around to show that he didn't understand the reference. Somehow the conversation was coming easier now, Raul relaxing slightly. He enjoyed it when the attention was keyed directly to him but to other people. It made his heart lighten slightly. He probably should switch back into English for Qhuinn, but he was comfortable with the thought that only he and Quinten knew what he was saying. "Perché dovresti farlo? Questo posto è buio e pieno di ingiustizie. Nessuno è così altruista." He proclaimed as if he didn't believe what the man was saying.

Qhuinn's smile nearly stretched from ear to ear when Quinten not only didn't look at her like she was a nut for bringing up Harry Potter, but actually knew exactly what she meant. And then Raul knowing as well. Things were taking on a much more relaxed nature now, as they seemed to all find a few common interests. "Yeah, Apparation sounds much cooler. For sure" she laughed, then flashed Raul a broad grin. Whoever said Harry Potter didn't bring people together was so fucking wrong. This just all but proved that it really did. It made her so happy that she didn't even mind the two guys talking among themselves. It hadn't bothered her really to begin with, as what girl could be annoyed while listening to too cute guys talk in a sexy foreign language?

Quinten did enjoy that they had something universal for them all. He hadn't ever imagined that it would be Harry Potter but whatever worked. Maybe they should do a marathon of the movies some time. He also had the books on tape- perhaps that would help Raul a little. If he had something to play it on anyway. "That's it. Officially the new name- I'll have to spread it amongst the rest of the angels. Even though he felt bad for leaving Qhuinn out, he kept answering Raul's questions in Italian. He gave him a sad smile- he spoke like someone who had seen too many horrible things. "Perché l'umanità merita compassione. Ci sono persone qui che hanno a cuore i tuoi migliori interessi. Come me, come Qhuinn."

"The rest..." He was shocked again. That meant there more on this earth, lingering with the rest of them. Possibly more on the Island. He furrowed his brow, eyes lingering on the man's face for a long moment. He turned his eyes to look at Qhuinn when the man spoke about her having good intentions as well. "You are not... Angel." He spoke to the woman. "Are you?" He was sure he'd pass out if she was. Maybe that meant he was dead and simply imagining all of this. He was unsure. "A nessuno interessa così tanto. Soprattutto non su di me. Ho rinunciato a Dio e agli Angeli molto tempo fa." He shook his head, the words were more whispered to himself as if he didn't want the man to hear.

"You do that. Just make sure I'm given my divine credit though. Gotta secure my place in Heaven somehow, right?" she chuckled softly, then leaned back again and let the two continue to converse. She probably should have been insulted to be almost completely left out of the conversation now, as for all she knew they were talking about her. When her name was mentioned, she blinked to attention, looking, confused, at Quinten, then at Raul when he addressed her. "Um no..I'm not. I'm a werewolf actually. Bit, nearly three years ago." Qhuinn almost told him she was an empath as well, but maybe that information would be better shared at a later time

Quinten bit his lip.  Of course there were other angels out there- and on the island. He just couldn't tell him that because he wasn't sure if they wanted to reveal who they were. "There are other angels in the universe yes. And I will give you all the credit Qhuinn. I think they will be confused since pop culture isn't huge- but you will get all the credit." He replied, laughing softly. However, there was a confused and vaguely upset young man across from him. He felt poorly that he had accidentally made Qhuinn admit what she was. He sent Qhuinn a thought, letting her know what they were discussing in vague terms. "Io e Qhuinn lo facciamo. Per lo meno ci hai Mi dispiace che mio padre, né mio fratello, non erano lì per te. Io non sono loro e nemmeno lei. Puoi sopravvivere a questo posto tenendo le persone a portata di mano, ma alla fine te ne andrai e poi cosa farai?"

A werewolf, that was more similar to what he expected and he swallowed slightly. "You have not always been..." Somehow that was better, knowing that maybe there was some sort of humanity that floated to the surface of her. But at the same time, humans had been just as bad if not worse during his life time. He began to fiddled with his fingertips as the man spoke to him in Italian, almost like he was soothing him. Somehow he took it better when it was spoken in Italian. "Tutti partono. Perché dovrei attaccarmi a qualcuno, specialmente qui, quando potrebbero tradirmi? Non sarò preso in giro. Tutto ciò che sono qui è un corpo caldo e potrebbe essere tutto ciò che sono in futuro."

"That's all I ask. Not much when you really think about it" she chuckled softly, then turned back to Raul. "No..not always. I was attacked. It wasn't what I wanted but..I think I've learned to make the best of things. Or at the very least, I try to" Qhuinn murmured. Quinten sent her another thought and she gave a jolt, but shot him a grateful smile when she saw what he was trying to do. She still couldn't help but feel like a sudden outsider though, like she was in the way. Nothing unusual for her though really. "Um..would you guys be more comfortable if I left? You can talk as long as you want, and just meet me at the bakery later?" she offered, giving them a small smile. "I don't mind at all, you can have some privacy"

Quinten didn't know she had been bitten. He knew some were born and some were bitten but he wasn't sure which was more likely. She may have a positive attitude about it but it hurt that she had been put in that situation to begin with. How hard did that have to be.  He tried to clue Qhuinn in with what was going on, since it seemed easier for Raul and more soothing, but it wasn't easy since he knew it was startling to her to get his thoughts.  He frowned at what he had to say and then Qhuinn volunteered to leave. "No, its okay. We were just talking about my being an angel." He said, soothing things over. He had a feeling Raul didn't necessarily want his thoughts known- and he couldn't blame him. "How about we head over so Raul can get some rest? Maybe you can point out some cool places to check out Qhuinn since I know I haven't done all the much exploring." He murmured, thinking they could always chat some more when they were at the infirmary- or even later since Raul knew where to find him.

It hadn't even occured to him that someone might not want to be a supernatural and his face fell slightly as he imagined how tough it must be for the woman. He cleared his throat and crossed his arms over his chest for a moment. "I'm sorry that happened to you." He said lowly, knowing that it must be rough for the woman. To be some sort of monster you had never wanted to be. As the woman mentioned leaving he realized exactly how rude he had been being and looked down at his hands. He went to apologize again but the words didn't seem to come out. "Okay." He agreed with Quinten instead, deciding whatever conversation they would be having would be better off for later. If only when they were alone and where no one could hear them.

"Thank you" Qhuinn smiled softly at Raul for his words, which she felt were sincere. "I'm okay now, really. I have a little pack here, I'm acting Alpha. By default and I have no idea what I'm doing but..it's still not bad for a little bayou girl" she chuckled lightly. "I've had the best mentor, and I love my wolf now. I'm okay" Qhuinn assured them both, her smile including Quinten too. She had really meant it when she said she didn't mind leaving them alone, she hadn't just been looking for attention. But it was nice when Quinten suggested that they all leave together instead. "Are you sure? Because I really don't mind, if you guys want to continue talking. You were enjoying your conversation, I don't want to be a pain"

Quinten had to admire her outlook on things. Much like Sabrina, they took the high road. She might just be a good example for Raul. It wasn't easy at all to make the comparison, sure, but if she could make the best of being a werewolf- then perhaps he could find a way to deal with being a slave- at least for a short time. "I didn't know you were an Alpha. Badass." He said with a grin and then when he really realized that they were kinda being rude he suggested the go to the infirmary. "No, no, its fine. We weren't talking anything urgent and my number should be in his phone index, so we're free to take it up whenever." He said, helping Qhuinn to her feet, nearly pulling her off the chair. "Sorry...misjudged my strength." He said, before doing the same for Raul, judging things better. "Let's go- we'll take the scenic route." He said, thinking it might tire out the younger man more so he would just crash once they got there.

Alpha wolf, he furrowed his brow for a moment, "Does that mean you are in charge?" He asked. That would make sense if you looked at the root of the word, but he didn't know enough about wolves or packs to know the answer. He licked his lips and nodded his head. He hadn't even thought about the fact that he could contact Quinten whenever he wanted because of the phone he had been given. He never used it after all. He took in a deep breath through his nose as the man pulled him up and nodded his head. "Yes, we can talk later." Though he was unsure if he would come to the man or not, that still felt like broaching territory he shouldn't.

"It's not that impressive really. It's just by default. My Alpha, who was also my boyfriend, left. And as I'm his only other high Beta..the title just automatically goes to me" Qhuinn explained, her heart giving that familiar painful squeeze when she spoke of Clay. Was it ever not going to hurt like hell just to say his name? She brushed her hair back over her shoulder and gave the men a little smile, then let out a yelp of surprise when Quinten nearly launched her over his shoulder. "It's okay, happens all the time" she giggled, straigtening her shirt as she regained her balance. "Yeah let's go, I'm ready when y'all are"

Quinten wasn't sure why she was downplaying being an Alpha. It may be by default but she was still head of the pack, and what little he knew of werewolves, made him believe that if they didn't like who was in charge, they wouldn't stay in charge.  "I'm sure you're doing amazing Qhuinn." He answered, laughing softly when he nearly slung her over his shoulder. "I forget how strong I am." Smiling as she giggled. "Hey, any time, about anything. I don't need to sleep so don't worry about bothering me." He said softly, before turning to Qhuinn. "Curious question: does it ever actually rain here?" He said, dumping out the garbage and holding the door for them to pass by.

Raul nearly asked the woman why he had left but decided that it was hers to tell and she would tell it when she wanted to. So he cleared his throat and nodded his head in slight understanding. "Jesus... You are strong." He responded, slightly surprised. Though he supposed it made sense. He followed after the two of them, ready to eat and then get some sleep. His mind would settle for now, but it wouldn't settle forever.

#para: TNFS

[victor-v]

so yesterday i finished all for the game for the second time in my life (weird thing i've never read a book or series twice) and it wrecked me for the second time. it was unexpectedly nice that i actually understood everything with so much clarity, but that makes sense i've got lot of practice in reading english since then. also, i wrote my thoughts on the book this time.

i can't understand how a book can have such an impact on me, i hate that and i love it, everything else that crossed my mind is under the cut

★huh andrew really bullied aaron into dressing identical to mess up with neil

★"i don't swing either way" is the phrase that made me feel more valid that the whole queer community ever

★neil is pure nihilism

★how can i EVER forget neil wore a tight long sleeved TORN tshirt that andrew bought this is way too much

★seth is dead and all kevin can think about is the line up tbh i do that often

★they are making a scandal about how they sit

★kevin telling neil "destroy him" filled me with power

★the most unreal part is neil ALWAYS keeping his roots another colour the guy must dye his hair every fucking week

★how did neil buy andrew's promise to protect him from the japanese mafia's professional murderers when the only people he physically bullies is an obsessive young adult with anxiety, a princess in high heels and his sunshine sister in law

★wait a fucking minute andrew saw neil filled with terror while holding the phone and immediately gave him the car keys so he could be alone fuck

★nicky fucking hemmick attended to improv class

★ according to dan few athletes were crude enough to start trouble at an ERC event, you mean as crude as neil?

★how to take care of your teammate while he's in a crisis according to: andrew→show concern and reassure him. wymack→10 seconds of vodka

★"hey, jean. jean valjean" is peak comedy

★the ravens walking in v formation is genuinely the most cringy thing you can think of

★neil first finds out the only possible person to date him is andrew because he was jealous of renee are you kidding me

★andrew only missed 13 from 150 shots on goal for fucking real what a Man

★renee is an angel, she's specifically andrew's angel

★neil truly is a watcher

★bee wearing a bee costume is the only good thing on this world

★dan and matt dressed like greek gods!!!!! they can adopt me already

★can you believe nicky is the one who got into neil's brain and planted the idea of realying on someone, and since then neil actively pursues an investigation on andrew's relationship status how on god's name i missed that HOW he's not even subtle about it damn

★he first worries about renee now about kevin goddamn it josten how can't you se how much you care about him

★it's funny how sexuality is such a heavy topic between them when they sure as fuck have some pretty huge stuff going on you know like dying in the hands of the mafia or being tortured

★i imagine andrew running to renee all bonkers like "listen if the cute guy asks, for fucks sake tell him i'm gay but make it ~casual~ maybe this way he'll get it"

★the sole mention of thanksgiving dinner makes me want to die

★kevin is checking the scores in a newspaper I forget this book is so 00's

★they should have spent the day eating turkey and frozen pie at abby's fuckkkkkkkk

★are you kidding me they are in the middle of a conversation and andrew casually chokes neil a little but it's ok they carry on wtf

★"we are all going to regret this" is the fucking worse piece of foreshadowing in this book

★neil interrogating andrew the same night he was raped what kind of fucking piece of shit does that

★i can't fucking believe neil went ahead and shoved andrew's hand under his tshirt in front of kevin, wymack, betsy and two fucking lawyers are you kidding me

★neil asking "are we? friends?" to nicky is so relatable because i also would have an aneurysm if someone told me i am their friend

★someone else tries to flirt with him and he immediately considers andrew how i was too ace to see it the first time i read

★jesus fucking christ riko is one truly fucked up sociopath and neil is the bravest motherfucker on the land

★how can he face riko like that in the nest and be extremely pure in other occasion

★"are we watching the ball drop? i want to make a wish" he wants to make a wish and i want to die thanks

★i can't believe the whole if it means losing you then no and side effect of the drugs shit it's unreal fucking unreal how oblivious neil is too ace to realize anything SOMEONE JUST CALLED YOU "DREAM" THE LEVEL OF ROMANTICISM

★the amount of heavy staring in this trilogy is ridiculous and all i can think about is twilight

★these books made me see how far from the 00s we are, for many reasons, but mostly for some jokes that can't let slide; like calling neil a battered wife, domestic misogynistic violence is not a joke

★i can't believe from all people, wymack was the first one to get andrew was into neil

★"that doesn't mean I wouldn't blow you" is such a funny phrase to be said casually why is it

★"you are a racoon, not a fox" oh andrew

★it only took andrew admitting he had a crush for neil to be all sentimental and shit, and that disarmed andrew too

★they are like some kind of animal that while you think they are fighting, they are actually mating, that's exactly what nora meant with feral

★half of last book is neil mooning over andrew jfc

★nicky made neil smile while distracting him from riko im gonna throw myself off a cliff

★i can't quite believe neil goes through a detailed monologue about andrews memory the man is impressed and borderline turned on about every talent on his crushe's shelf

★i literally can't follow and will never understand the quarrel/promise/agreement between aaron and andrew what a bunch of pretentious idiots

★every time neil's phone buzzes all i fear is the fucking countdown

★i thought "i want to see you lose control" was a collective fever dream i can't believe it's written on the books

★if i was nicky i already have told andrew to stop his freaky pretentious shit towards me

★neil to the upperclassman: ha ha fellas is it gay to unthinkingly call andrew in the middle of a anxiety breakdown

★"you gave me a key and called it home" is as soft as heartbreaking i want to jump off a cliff

★"i won't be like them, i wont let you let me be" is actually pushing me off that cliff andrews feelings are a fucking storm

★neil was kidnapped and tortured the day of my bday and that's not a coincidence

★neil's talent to twist the truth in order to convince andrew of anything is outstanding

★excuse me they have no right to be this soft i hate them

★they miss so many opportunities to be funny about the whole "protection" thing

★did he really had a mental breakdown over where to fucking sit on the bus lmao

★"don't come crying to me when someone breaks your face" is the second most awful piece of foreshadowing

★lets be honest for a second andrew should be a fucking writer because all those things he says? edgy myspace pretentious poetry

★im sorry but i don't care about literally anything except neil smiling onto andrew's neck bye

★andrew ghosted a kiss across neil's hip im dead for real

★abby kissed neil's forehead farewell after cleaning all his injuries i have no words he's recieving all the affection he deserves

★cant believe you don't see aaron is fucking worried neil is taking advantage of andrew

★i mean yeah ok don't talk love but neil is sad that nicky thinks it was only hate sex, and he immediately acknowledged it meant more than that to him bc his demi btw wtf does hate sex mean i can't believe you hate someone so much you wanna suck his dick

★they all went horseback riding when will i have a group of friends like that

★"who's humanising who in that relationship" i know right nicky

★kevin locking himself to have a panic attack is the most relatable thing

★the car encounter with ichirou holds the same tension as a mr robot scene

★the proposal of playing olympics and being unstoppable feels like marriage or smth

★neil is literally having his hot girl summer

★i adore neil's overflow of emotions after swallowing everything for so many years. represented, thanks.

★andrew terrorising katelyn who the fuck does he think he is what an annoying asshole

★"did you know i've never been skiing" is the most epic line

★i cheer to the sole mention of laila

★alvares can deck me right now and i would say thank you

★"war is profitable" aaron knows what's up

★sometimes i want to slap them is2g

★that scene at eden's where they are all discussing how roland found out and aaron ends up being the only straight one lmao boy it's your punishment for being so homophobic

★the whole "deadliest piece on the board" spech is 100 times better when you consider kevin was wasted and overly exaggerating every word and gesture

★can you imagine those few fans supporting kevin's new tattoo screaming YAAAAASSSSS QUEEEEEEEEEN while snapping fingers i'm cackling

★matt in court body slamming into anyone that's been a problem to the foxes: VIBE CHECK MOTHERFUCKER

★neil kissed andrew in castle fucking evermore the audacity i adore him

#the foxhole court #the raven king #the kings men #all for the game #tfc #it really fucking wrecked me #how can a fucking book do this to me #my thoughts

[queennicoleinboots]

Kirby's Nightmare

A/N: Thanksgiving holiday drama at its finest, Xara POV

Colonel America became a complete self-centered, self-important, self-righteous asshole with no concept of how to be thankful for anything. He was 70 years old and 10 feet tall and still hadn't grown up or learned much of anything. That's where being a Neanderthal who carries a hammer and shield gets you. He isn't any different from the rest of his Neanderthal family, really. In fact, he's worse because he had plenty of time to know better.

Sure I felt bad for his headache, but Joebear and I have been cooking Thanksgiving dinner for him for three days now. He could focus on what we are doing for him instead of his own self-centered self-important self-righteous giant headache. It's his own fault anyway. "No Sleep Till Brooklyn" is a dumb way to live. How about taking a few Advil, drinking water and cardioessence (separately, of course), and actually sleeping?! And I can't believe he needed to manifest a doctor to tell him the same thing I just did! I told him in more detail than the doctor/death dealer did. Colonel America became a complete idiot.

I am so sick of dumbass people and dumbass holidays around me. So naturally I flipped the fuck out. I told people two years ago that I was sick of this damn shit. I cussed Mom the fuck out then, too. So if Colonel America thinks I'm not about to blow, he is truly out of his fucking mind and needs to get the fuck out of my story.

This is what the fuck I gotta say:

"Well, I'm dropping off the food in YOUR REALITY. I don't have room in my reality for your stupid dumb fucking bullshit! AND I TOLD YOU THE SAME SHIT THAT DAMN DOCTOR/DEATH DEALER TOLD YOU BUT IN MORE DETAIL. YOU ARE REALLY PISSING ME OFF TODAY!

You are the most self-centered, self-important POS asshole I've ever fucking met in my fucking life!!!!!!!

I am going out of my way to make a nice holiday for you, and you COMPLETELY ruined mine over your stupid goddamn headache!

Jesus Christ, dude! Get it together and learn to actually be thankful!!!! You're 70 years old and you're still clueless about what being THANKFUL is or what the word fucking means!"

This is what the fuck Colonel America had to say:

"Wait a goddamn minute! When I woke up this morning, I found a cell phone in a bucket of four inches of piss. That thing swam in it! That's what sent me into a different reality. Calm the fuck down I'm back to this reality.

These holidays gave me a headache, stressed me the fuck out. Calm the fuck down.

I couldn't tell you how many times I've been called self-centered, self-important, and self-righteous. You forgot to mention self-absorbed, lol."

Joebear growled. "Please eat and shut the fuck up both of you. This is what the fuck I gotta say: Fuck the police, number 1. Now that we got that out of the way. Number 2, I hate the goddamn holidays. Five years ago, Xara, Albear, and I got into a fight and beat the shit out of each other with over-cooked flaxseed brownies. I hated those goddamn brownies, Mama Bear's goddamn oven, and my goddamn family. Every year, something fucked up happens. In 2013, Mama Bear growled loud and walked the fuck out of there. We didn't see her until a month later, around Christmas time. Number 3, All I want is for everyone to be thankful and shut the shut the shut the fuck up."

"GIVE ME A BREAK! GIVE ME A BREAK! BREAK ME OFF A PIECE OF SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" I sang loudly.

"Thanksgiving is fucked without people being thankful," Queen Lindsay said as she sat at the table with her royal maroon dress.

Albear growled. "I'm never doing this again! Stressed me out! Drove to the grocery store, took 20 separate trips for everyone, spent $3000 dollars for you assholes to start squawking bullshit. Don't ask me to do anything again!" he screamed before he bleated.

Murphee the Ace of Munching howled loudly to Swahili singing. The Hatari (1962) world joined us for Thanksgiving.

"Oh fuck not this bad movie!" Peter growled as he drank a shot of his Evan Williams and tried to manifest the Little Safari World. "These holidays are too much. They are back to back at the end of the year."

"Arga, where's Missy?" Kurt asked as he jumped off the Safari jeep.

"In room," Arga, the Swahili houseboy, answered.

"Thank you. Get me some coffee, will you?" Kurt asked as he went to Missy Brandy Delacourt's room.

Colonel America was peeing lines in the stream while I was on the other side peeing and taking a dump.

Murphee the Ace of Munching was howling fiercely at Kurt and Brandy singing, "Whiskey, leave me alone! I just want to go home!!" Kurt, Brandy, and Murphee the Ace of Munching disappeared out of that reality.

Peter turned into a giraffe and growled loudly.

I laughed and turned into a jaguar after I cleaned up after my dump. I started eating herb and garlic goat cheese.

Colonel America rested.

Anna Maria D'Allesandro was taking a bath, so naturally, I went to check on her.

"Ohhhh!!! Mamma Mia!" Anna Maria D'Allesandro screamed and stood up while covering herself with a white cotton towel.

I walked over and licked her right leg.

"HELLPP!!!!" Anna Maria D'Allesandro screamed.

Pockets rushed in and chased me with a chair. "Don't move! Stand back!" he yelled.

I laughed and walked away playfully.

Kurt returned to this reality. He and John Wayne walked over.

"What's going on here?" Kurt asked. "Xara, why is he poking you with a chair? Come on, let's get out of here. You don't belong here! " He pet me as he ushered me outside.

[blueraith]

The way fandom characterizes certain characters...

Bothers me. I usually don’t speak out much against this stuff, preferring to ‘rectify’ these kinds of issues with fics of my own, and my own take on these certain characters. Characters that the fandom, for whatever reason, has decided that they don’t like and will portray them as terribly as possible.

Now, most of the time, this is done by warring ships. Those, I don’t particularly care about. Shipping wars have lasted forever, and I will easily write a fic or two about this kind of thing to fix my inner disquiet.

Parents, on the other hand, are the other. And this makes it so much harder for me to personally fix. I don’t know if it’s because fanfiction is written by a large number of young people, or what, but it’s clear that some of these authors can’t seem to recognize that problematic parental figures are not always abusive pieces of garbage with no redeeming qualities.

I have mommy issues the size of Texas. I know this. It’s typically the reason why, in my original work, the mother figures in my works are never the problem parent. It hits too close to home. I write what I wish I could have had. Which is probably depressing and a little pathetic, but it is how I’ve coped for a very long time.

I read an embarrassing amount of fanfiction. Typically because I am super Gay(TM) and have to depend on either dead ships (fucking bury your gays trope can go light itself on fire in a fucking dumpster) or crack ships. Either way, I’ve gotten ridiculously good at perusing and finding virtually anything I could possibly imagine by learning the most common ways people tag, summarize, or title their works. Usually, I will go into a specific fandom, read through the most recently updated stuff first, then get into the most kudos’d/favorited stuff next, then go into character tags, and then finally start searching additional tags or search terms for things that didn’t quite cure my itch for certain topics. This typically takes me a period of two weeks or so. After I’ve exhausted everything I could imagine, was interested in, or what was available, I leave for about four to six months, and then come back to start the process all over again.

Like I said, I read a shit ton of fanfiction. And I learn how the fandom thinks in broad strokes. There are fandom versions of certain characters. They are, for the most part, in character, but there’s this odd ‘fandom’ spin that writers of fanfiction have either created themselves or have latched onto and that thing will permeate throughout the entire section of the fandom. Be it a quote, behavior, or personality. One example would be Maggie, in a shit ton of fics, will find some way to mention that she’s a “detective, Danvers. I detect.” Like it’s her motto rather than a witty one-liner she said one episode and never mentioned again.

But that’s the most minor example of this issue. The most extreme would be the way the fandom characterizes Eliza Danvers. Now, I know her past. I know that she was hard on Alex. It was a plot arc that hit uncomfortably close to home for me. A mother who is far too hard on her eldest child and charges said child to take care of their younger sibling(s) to the detriment of their own well-being. It is a form of emotional abuse. One that I have, unfortunately, lived myself. Also the sheer, crippling fear of failure or of being a disappointment to said mother that Alex feels is another plot point that hits too close to the mark for me. The fact that Eliza acted as she did is not the issue I have with her role in fanfiction.

No, I have a huge problem with how most writers completely ignore her character arc and her continuing development with Alex and act as though she is still as awful as she had ever been at her worst. A low point that we only get the barest of glimpses of on screen in season 1. It’s maddening. Why? Because if my mother ever looked me in the eye and told me that she was proud of me and made a mistake in how she’s been treating me for the past several years, and then took steps to fix the problem, I’d fucking.... Shit, I don’t even know, guys. I’d be fucking ecstatic, to say the least. Because Eliza Danvers has been working on easing up on Alex. You can see it in what little we get of her in season 2.

(I may have also searched high and low for Alex and Eliza scenes on YouTube in order to find out if their relationship did indeed get any better. It did, btw.)

We can see the start of this in season 1, first of all, when Eliza breaks Myriad’s control over Alex by telling her how proud she and Jeremiah are of her. Without framing that pride around Kara. She specifically spoke only about Alex in that scene.

Season 2 Thanksgiving is rather telling in that Alex is still stressed out by her mom. And I don’t think that is because of any particular ugliness Eliza has shown her recently. Mostly because of her continuing actions in this season, but one also has to consider that, perhaps, Alex only got drunk in order to come out to her mom because she was emotionally scarred. This kind of trauma just doesn’t evaporate overnight. For god’s sake, Alex is like 27-28 and she still has a crippling fear of disappointing her mother. That’s not healthy, and it’s not something that will fix itself over a short period of time. I do not think Alex acted as she did because Eliza is still trying to be as hard on her as she used to be. (Not that I think she immediately turned perfect either, but that she has likely been working on being better.) But that’s not going to make a difference on the kind of emotional toll it has taken on Alex over the past 14 years.

And this suspicion of mine is further supported by just how freaking great Eliza was when Alex did actually come out to her. Eliza made some very specific word choices in that conversation. Alex has forever had an inferiority complex as far as her mother is concerned, but also as a more general flaw in her character. Eliza specifically calls her exceptional for a reason. I think she’s perfectly aware of how terrified Alex was to come out to her. For one thing, if she missed that Alex was really fucked up on Thanksgiving, then she’s super fucking blind because an infant could have spotted how hammered Alex was. And I think she did, because Eliza says that she knew Alex had been trying to tell her something. Not us. Not everyone at Thanksgiving. Her. Then there is the fact that Alex was moved to tears over her coming out, and that she had to choke out her fears that Eliza wouldn’t accept her. I mean, you can’t be any more clear than that in giving your parent the message that ‘you’ve made me really fucking terrified over whether or not you even love me.’ Eliza has proven to be very observant over these past two seasons. I don’t think she missed that firework display of insecurity that Alex set off there.

Then there’s the Danvers Family Reunion dinner in 2x14. First, we have Eliza giving Maggie a hug right off the bat, didn’t even blink an eye. I have no doubt that the only reason Alex went through with her extremely quick, yet hesitant, kiss on Maggie’s cheek right before that was because both Kara and Eliza supported her. She was stressed about Jeremiah in that scene, not Eliza, and I think that speaks for how their relationship has improved since her coming out. In that same episode, after Mon-el acts like an ass and accuses Jeremiah a few minutes later, Maggie is the first to bring Alex down from her anger, but if you watch Alex throughout the whole background of that scene, specifically as Jeremiah is walking Mon-el out, Alex is being comforted by Eliza. Again, more support that things are better between them. Alex could have easily stuck with Maggie in this scene. TV rarely does anything by accident. Eliza and Alex in the background together in this scene was done deliberately and it was developing their relationship further through body language. Specifically, I believe Eliza and Alex were facing each other, and Eliza was rubbing Alex’s arm in comfort. Doesn’t get much more clearer than that.

(Also, who the fuck accuses somebody of suspicious activity at their fucking family reunion? I know I’m behind in Supergirl, I’ve honestly not watched a ton of Mon-el simply because he is not a lesbian nor a sister of someone on this show. I am not about to unilaterally label him as a terrible person or anything because I know next to nothing about him. But for real. This scene gave me a bad taste in my mouth for him. Time and place, dude. Presumably, you at least have J’onn’s phone number. Call him up after dinner and share your concerns. Privately. Away from Jeremiah’s celebrating family. Jesus Christ.)

Anyway, the next thing I’m aware of, as far as Eliza scenes are concerned, is when Jeremiah goes through with the betrayal. She rushes into the DEO, and goes to Alex to comfort her. Kara is conspicuously absent in their conversation. She’s having her own conversation, but Alex was just in that same conversation with Kara. She was called away by Eliza by name. Eliza didn’t call out for both Kara and Alex. Just Alex. Because she probably knew that Alex would take Jeremiah’s betrayal much harder than Kara would.

I don’t know. I see this a lot. The 1OO have fanfic writers shitting on Abby. Vampire Academy has folks dumping on Janine. It seems parents are a sore spot for most folks. Trust me, I get it, but personally? I prefer to see these relationships improve, as they do in actual canon. (At least as far as Supergirl and VA are concerned. I have no idea about Abby and Clarke’s relationship because I didn’t get far enough in to find out.) Because it gives me a bit of catharsis that, even if it’s fiction, at least somebody is improving their relationships with their mothers. Because God only knows how much I want that for myself.

Whether its stories that repeatedly have Eliza holding Alex to ridiculous standards, standards she’s seemed to have abandoned for the most part in canon, or if it’s a high-school AU and they make Eliza really fucking homophobic (???? Like, that didn’t even happen in the show? Where does that come from????), there’s a lot of hate out there for her. And it bothers me. Because it’s extremely unlikely that I will be able to write something of my own over this subject in Alex’s voice. That’s the only way I’d be able to do it (because it would be Alex’s POV that I’m the most familiar with on this subject), and if I tried to go through with it, it would bring up a shit load of emotions that I am currently not able to deal with at the moment. This is a rare occurrence for me. I’m not used to having this kind of idea in my head and not being able to actually sit down and write it. I’ve compartmentalized a lot of shit I feel about my own mom, and even writing this rant has got me thinking too much about our relationship and the disappointment I know she will feel towards me very soon.

Okay, end of that paragraph. Can’t get into that. I don’t know. I don’t expect this to change anything. People will write what they will. I guess I’m wondering if I’m the only one who even thinks about this. I’ve been on a fic binge, I’ve seen this phenomenon a lot recently and it’s hit close to home and I’m feeling a bit fatigued over it. I harp on my less than perfect relationship with my mom enough in real life. I guess it feels more like a punch in the gut when I’m reading fanfic, have gotten like six chapters in, and suddenly “LOOK! LOOK HOW TERRIBLE THIS CHARACTER’S PARENT IS! aREN’T THEY THE WORST????” Like, yeah, I guess.... Because these scenes are almost always over the top. There’s no nuance. No one sticks up for anyone. It’s typically a scene of the parents just shitting on the kid, and geez.  As if I don’t already live that. I suppose this is how some people vent, but ohhh. It’s definitely not how I do it.

Maybe I’m just a tad more sensitive about this than usual.

#Supergirl #Alex Danvers #Eliza Danvers #A rant about how fic writers ignore the development between these two #like their relationship is not at dumpster fire anymore #do people see these scenes and ignore them?? #Or forget?? #Again this is another rant

[uwugenides]

FACT FOR EACH STAR GO GO GO !!!!!!!!!! :D

⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️When I was little I dropped a can in the garbage on accident and my brother made me crawl in the trash can to get it back out and put it in the right thing.⭐️I have right duane's syndrome. It's a birth defect that makes it so I can't turn my right eye outwards, it stops in the middle and I see double when I try to do it.⭐️I once fell through bleachers from the very top, falling straight down, twenty(20) ft, and I hit five cross bars on my way to the ground. My life did flash before my eyes.⭐️Growing up I wanted to be the first female president. Now I'm a trans man and I hate the government.⭐️I always wanted a husky (I was a wolf and tiger kid) and I got one two years ago and I love her. Her name is Ember.⭐️uhhhhh,,,,,,,, I'm autistic, well specifically I have aspergers⭐️I think you gave me too many stars ⭐️I love space but if I think about the laws of time and space I get too existential and dissociate for hours⭐️I'm having trouble thinking up new facts. F u my friend⭐️I've never been in a play or musical where I didn't have a speaking part⭐️In theatre I played this kid who is two feet taller than me and has non-stop freckled' older brother, so that was fun⭐️How am I supposed to do this without feeling self-centered??? Is that a fact?⭐️I always start writing stories and never finish them.⭐️I have some fucked yo dreams that I will never tell to a single person⭐️Moana is my favorite animated movie, only second to Road to El Dorado⭐️I type like this n lke this n vvvv much like this,,,⭐️I'm watching America's Got Talent right now and it always manages to restore my faith in humanity⭐️also the dancing pumpkin man from that old meme is on America's Got Talent and I love him⭐️I feel so small and then I feel so big and it is weird⭐️I love anyone who messages me, any message or ask. Even hate stuff, like thamknyoi, you took the time to think about me, even if its death wishes, you thought about me⭐️I love doing scary makeup⭐️fucked up shit and horror is my thing, but I can't watch horror movies alone⭐️I used to be really into werewolves and stuff when I first got on the internet and I guess you couldve considered me a furry⭐️I'm in love with my boyfriend⭐️did I mention I love my boyfriend⭐️that doctor who band that was called like Chameleon something??? Idk but they made really good songs. Check them out you guys⭐️COMEDY IS GREAT, FUNNY PEOPLE CAN FUCK ME UP⭐️I'm into dark comedy, but not insensitive comedy. Your racist jokes aren't funny, Barbara.⭐️I love tamale pie. If you haven't had tamale pie you need to have it.⭐️tamale pie and cornbread are the best⭐️sushi is really good⭐️my old choir teacher sang opera and was professionally trained in it.⭐️we had a karaoke day once and he sang karaoke opera for everyone. I'm p sure it was Italian too⭐️we had three foreign exchange students last year at my old school, one from South Korea, one from Finland, and one from Switzerland.⭐️a kid from my school spent part of her year as a foreign exchange student in Spain and when she came back she brought three girls from Spain with her and they cursed a lot⭐️I feel guilty about practically everything I've ever done in my life⭐️SO MANY STARS⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️the Ghostbusters reboot is a very good movie⭐️I want to go to COS (college of the siskiyous) and then transfer to SOU (Southern Oregon University) so hey, hit me up⭐️one is the loneliest number that you ever did see⭐️I'm sad 24/7 but sometimes that sadness comes across as comedy and that the only reason people like me⭐️I'm a minor⭐️I'm hot as fuck, get on my level twunk⭐️I hate terfs⭐️I want to be so rich that if I wanted to I could pay for everyone in the entire North America and South America to have enough food for three square meals a day⭐️i own a hat that says "black lives matter" and I've gotten ripped off my head more than once while riding my bus home⭐️I have a slight hitchhikers thumb⭐️I was born with brown hair but by the time I was two months old my hair was white⭐️I have owned four(4) rats, two(2) rabbits, seven(7) cats, two(2) guinea pigs, five(5) dogs, and one(1) hamster named Eddie.⭐️I am a self-taught horse-rider⭐️I have been to two(2) rodeos.⭐️I have asthma⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️so I love my boyfriend⭐️I chew on ice⭐️I order snow cones without any flavoring⭐️snow cones without any flavoring are cheaper⭐️SO MANY STARS⭐️I could've gotten more asks by now and I wouldn't know because I'm answering your stars⭐️I cry too easily⭐️I pass surprisingly well for being a trans guy who has not started T⭐️my family once sat at the dinner table on thanksgiving talking about how my mom had the right to hit me and I would not be allowed to defend myself⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I didn't know my dad was alive for the first twelve years of my life aside from the fact that we got the occasional eleven(11) dollar child support⭐️I love dogs⭐️I love cats ⭐️I love birds⭐️I love lizards⭐️I love snakes⭐️I love rats⭐️I love mice⭐️I love fish⭐️that guy on YouTube, Coyote Peterson is my goals as a person. If I could just live as a guy who goes around and finds wildlife I would never ask for another thing in my life⭐️I've recently started playing Pokémon Go again. It's fun⭐️my first Pokémon was a pikachu⭐️I've already traded my first Pokémon for more candies because I'm vain and want to be the very best⭐️I used to be a compulsive liars and would spend hours at night crying because I thought I was a horrible person for it. I was seven(7) at the time.⭐️I'm a trans⭐️koala bears are actively not helping themselves stay alive, not a fact about me, just a fact I like.⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I just got a new kitten named Periwinkle Blue⭐️if I die before I travel to at least one(1) foreign country I will have died a sad man⭐️my great grandpa was Jewish and I carry a lot of that culture and its traditions down with me, despite not actually considering myself part of the religion.⭐️I'm a descendant of the Karuk tribe which is located in Northern California. I speak very little Karuk but it's a very pretty language!⭐️I'm also Irish, German, and as mentioned above (or alluded to at least) Hebrew.⭐️I'm white passing as far as my Native American roots go, and trust me, it is awkward being the whitest person at the tribal meetings.⭐️my birthname was the same name my great grandmother had, but is spelt in the newer form, not the Hebrew translated English form.⭐️I live in a very country oriented town. Everyone owns a cow. Or a pig. I almost owned a pig once.⭐️a lot of people say I'm not actually a trans guy because I was too much of an outstanding girl⭐️my insurance won't cover my top surgery⭐️I work as a dishwasher and it sucks ass⭐️I want to quit my job⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I went vegetarian for two weeks and then caved for a bag of salami someone left on the counter⭐️I drink at least one(1) Pepsi zero a day⭐️the first website I ever roleplayed on was QuoteV.com⭐️my mom just brought me a Fitbit that she got for me. What does this mean?⭐️I'm technically overweight yet look like the average "healthy" body.⭐️I have Mono⭐️I had lice in second(2) grade and lost many of my beloved stuffed animals because of that⭐️because of trauma I regress on occasion and my YouTube watch history is always interesting when that happens.⭐️I have extremely bad anxiety and don't even realize it half the time⭐️Jimmy Fallon is better than Jimmy Kimmel⭐️I once played a union soldier in a civil war reenactment held by a traveling group of reenactors and trust me, they do not mess around. If you've ever been in something like that you know that they are practically in character 24/7⭐️I love little kids but feel like I'm horrible with babies⭐️I fear I'll be a horrible parent and make my child feel the way my mom makes me feel⭐️I tried to get myself emancipated once and sadly failed as I'd gone through with a Or of the process before someone told me I wasn't old enough yet.⭐️stars are dying balls of gas⭐️I love my boyfriend ⭐️ SO MANY FUCKING STARS JESUS HAROLD CHRIST⭐️The H in Jesus H Christ stands for Harold, I looked it up once.⭐️I don't kinkshame but people should be a bit more conscious of what they do in general public access places.⭐️I've been in two(2) abusive relationships⭐️I take a lot of meds⭐️I might start T this year or next year⭐️I want top surgery before I graduate high school or the summer before I go to college⭐️I relate to Tony Stark as a person way to much⭐️I hate when the Hulk is only Hulk and never Bruce Banner⭐️I'm pretty self-confident most the time⭐️I've brought a blanket with me to school on more than one(1) occasion.⭐️I'm naturally a night owl and sleep better when sleeping during the day⭐️I take commissions for my art and you should commission me.⭐️currently I own three(3) dogs and two(2) cats. Mattie, the German shorthair mix, Ember the Alaskan/Siberian husky mix, and Memphis the purebred Doberman pinscher. One(1) adult cat named Freckles and one(1) kitten named Periwinkle Blue.⭐️I love video games.⭐️I love theories. Let's talk theories all day. Any theory, let's talk.⭐️I love talking about sociology and social expectations that aren't realized.⭐️I love collecting odd knick-knacks. I have many weird artifacts around my room, gathered by me or my yard-sale enthusiast grandpa.⭐️I hate Donald Drumpf.⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I hope my boyfriend loves me⭐️the best animated characters to ever exist are Jesse, James, and Meowth from Pokemon.⭐️I'm taking PE independently at my new school⭐️I love singing and acting but I worry that I'm the person that is really bad at it and no one will tell me⭐️I also love doing special effects makeup⭐️sculpting is great fun⭐️I'll be going to the San Francisco comic con this September so if you're there come see me⭐️I'm going to be Dipper for comic con and my boyfriend is going to be Bill Cipher⭐️Arya from Game of Thrones is the best young actress I've ever seen⭐️then again she's not actually that young⭐️I once got stung by a scorpion while being inside my own home on my own bed⭐️till I was like seven(7) I had to share a room with my mom because we didn't have a house big enough for me to sleep anywhere else⭐️my dog Mattie's fullname is Calamity Anastasia Strelow⭐️at the school I used to attend a kid dressed up as a "tr*nny" for Halloween and wasn't told to take off his costume till someone who wasn't trans and out at the school complained and that took me begging my friend.⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I'm Bigfoot and my boyfriend is Mothman⭐️Atomic Blond looks like a really good movie⭐️my first(1) two(2) rats were named Loulou and Pepper⭐️my rabbits were Midnight and Petals.⭐️my hamster was a Russian dwarf hamster and he ended up being eaten by my cat Bobby Joe who was eaten by a mountain lion from the local area⭐️a bear has been seen on my old elementary school's campus five(5) times in my lifetime⭐️wolves were once seen by the only starbucks in my town which was only opened up last year⭐️I live in a major gold mining area and I5 runs right through the town next to mine which is practically where I live⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I've had a full body massage once(1) in my life and let me tell you, you haven't lived till you've had your butt massaged⭐️I've taken like three(3) different classes for martial arts and never really followed through with any of them⭐️I've only been bitten by one dog in my entire life and it was completely my fault⭐️this post is too long Jesus fuck⭐️why⭐️the emoji movie doesn't actually look that bad in my opinion⭐️Despicable Me3(three) was actually a really good movie.⭐️I hate bad acting but I respect the effort⭐️every sibling I have is a half-sibling⭐️I'm a horrible person⭐️but I'm also the only good person alive aside from my friends and boyfriend so I'm conflicted ⭐️The Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo is a must see by anyone who considers them self part of the LGBTQ+ community⭐️I don't consider queer a slur personally but I understand the history of it and I never have and never will use it to describe someone or a group of people without their explicit permission⭐️before I came out as a trans guy I thought I was gebderfluid⭐️Chase Ross is an awesome guy⭐️I feel like I look like Ronan from The Raven Cycle with my new haircut, but I always pictured him with a darker complexion so idk⭐️I hate Caitlin Jenner as a person, but not for her gender identity in and of itself.⭐️my phone is getting very warm⭐️these stars are horribly shaded⭐️I love being trans and don't regret it at all⭐️my husky is probably my favorite dog so far⭐️TOO MANY STARS⭐️I don't know anythinh⭐️I'm actually a robot and this is all a lie⭐️I want to be a popular blogger or like a YouTube or something but hhhhnnnnnggg⭐️I'm really into literature and English and history and everything about all of that⭐️I made my signature while scribbling and realized a particular scribble looked like my initials⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I watch too many shows ⭐️I want to be a teacher kind of⭐️I want a better job⭐️I want to be who I see in the mirror when I've got all thecright clothes on and I'm feeling confident ⭐️I want to be a better person⭐️I want to be amazing⭐️I want to be a good human being⭐️I want to be special⭐️I want to be good enough⭐️I want to be happy⭐️I want to be healthy⭐️I want to be happy with who I am⭐️I want to be me⭐️I want to be cool⭐️I want to realize that I can be all this things if I just let myself⭐️I want to kiss John Boyega⭐️I want to hug Chris Pratt⭐️I want to smile the way I smile when I see my boyfriend⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I want more scars⭐️I want to be more adventurous⭐️I want to be a great person⭐️I want to live a good life⭐️I want Drumpf to resign⭐️I want to be famous⭐️I want to be immortal for all the good and bad it brings⭐️I want to be good⭐️I want to be happy⭐️I want this to end⭐️I love my boyfriend

[theliterateape]

American Shithole #19 — 500 Days of Bummer

By Eric Wilson

I don’t want this summer to be a bummer. Last year was the Summer of Puppy where Stella stepped in to fill the void of a loss so terrible, I still can’t write about her — my sweet Layla. That summer though, followed 365 days less Trump. That is decidedly less Trump.

Those days are hell and gone.

Is anyone else feeling a little out of gas after 500 days of Trump? I sure am. This is all so spectacularly gross; and taxing. Turd sandwich after turd sandwich makes my tummy ache. Another day? Another turd sandwich. Check the midday news? Turd Sandwich. Did you choke down that turd sandwich too fast? Well never you mind, here’s the evening news with a shit milkshake to wash it down.

Mm, tastes like Giuliani.

But alas, we must carry on; forward we push, on to the pressing questions of the week!

Now that I have been proven horribly wrong in my prediction that Scott Pruitt would lose his job long ago, I figure it’s time to get back to my seer's roots. Back to a source that has never let me down. Back to the Oracle, baby. Let’s consult the Magic 8-Ball for (answers) to this week’s big questions. Here we go:

1.      Did the dick dictator dictate? (It is decidedly so.)

2.      Will Mueller’s investigation gather any high-hanging fruit before our collective will to live is extinguished? (Ask again later.)

3.      Did this administration — via inaction and gross negligence — effectively murder thousands of Americans in Puerto Rico? (You may rely on it.)

4.      Will there be another school shooting between now and five minutes from now? (Outlook not so good.)

5.      Did Jefferson Sessions commandeer a former Walmart with blacked-out windows to house the hundreds of children he has separated from their mothers and fathers, and was a U.S. Senator from Oregon barred from entering that detention center for migrant children, with the officials on site going so far as to call the local police on the Senator? (Signs point to yes.)

What the fuck, Jeffery?

6.      And finally, when adrift at sea — a sea of lying liars — is there an island I can float away to, somewhere I can play the fucking ukulele all day long, and spend my nights looking up at the stars? Preferably an island that isn’t on fire as it is mercilessly ravaged by rivers of molten lava? (My sources say no, loser!)

Hey, wait a minute. I’m pretty sure that last one’s not an official Magic 8-Ball answer…

(Whatever, loser!)

Whatever, 8-Ball. It’s a geyser of bullshit in Washington, America. I’ve watched enough CNN in 500 days to drown myself in it. I can say with confidence, if it weren’t for the deplorables, we would have flushed this guy already.

“Surely his base must tire?” I have asked a thousand times.

“Surely their reality must be tethered to some distant lamppost in their conspiracy-addled minds that can still illuminate the truth?” I’ve cried.

“Surely enough of these mono-browed, knuckle-dragging troglodytes will cease spelunking their own assholes for five fucking minutes; just long enough to catch wind of the geyser of fucking bullshit erupting from the White House?”

For far too many, it seems not. These modern day zombies may prove to be the end of us.

And with the lying from everyone involved within this administration being so effectively pervasive, so ubiquitous and insidiously destructive, I can’t even bring myself to watch Giuliani or Sanders spin the president’s words and actions this week. It’s too much. It’s just too damn much.

Uncle.

Oh, and can someone please find Bill Clinton’s handler and fire that worthless sack of shit for not keeping Bill the fuck off television? Jesus fucking Christ, can someone please keep the fucking Clintons off the goddamn television? Hey Bill, hey Hillary, shut the fuck up!

He is literally like the grandfather that comes to Thanksgiving and  — during the huge family row — takes his fucking pants off. We have important family issues Pepaw; put your fucking pants back on and shut the fuck up!

Jesus fucking Christ. You’re on a book tour, because you wrote a book — a work of fiction I might add — with your buddy James Patterson, that no one wants to read while the country is ON FIRE, and you answer questions about Lewinski, sounding tone-deaf as shit about apologies, you stupid, insensate, doddering old lecher!

Could someone please fucking show the Clinton’s the EXIT sign.

Someone needs to give them a Hicksian reverse maître d’ — “Thanks for coming, street’s outside.”

Fucking hell, Bill. STFU.

(Sigh)

(Author's Note: President Clinton appeared on Late Night with Stephen Colbert after the writing of this column, with an admirable, even commendable performance. I love you Bill, but please shut the fuck up until this fucking monster is out of office.)

I am having one of those days, one of those “poor me” days. I was so frustrated and angry this morning — mostly due to chronic pain (for which I do my very best to keep a positive attitude, about 99 percent of the time) — and my temper flared, and I scared the dogs. So I have been feeling like shit about that all afternoon.

I woke up to my foot in puppy poop because someone had too many human dinner treats last night. It went downhill from there.

Here’s the thing about stepping in poop — it’s much worse with just a sock. The sock/poop combo really brings home the experience.

It’s just been one of those days.

It’s been one of those days where every outcome was somehow annoying — everyday tasks proved unnaturally difficult — and the walls felt like they were leaning in on me, trying to trip me, or throw me off balance, every time I’d round a corner. It’s been a day of obstacles and irritants. Every outside stimuli one would normally dismiss, was a buzzing bee, or a blaring siren.

Today was a buzz hassle. Today was a bummer.

As my friend Awyn put it in a private group this morning where I expressed dismay regarding my bummer predicament:  

“This seems like a pretty common occurrence for the average American. Most of us have no money and tons of debt and we either do shitty jobs that kill us a little more every minute, or we starve and die more quickly. Government doesn't care which, so long as we are quiet about it.”

America's new slogan: Get Busy Dying. “We took the one from Shawshank and shortened it.”

All I know is, being able to see a doctor when you're sick shouldn’t be the pot of gold at the end of the American rainbow. I just want to be able to see the right doctor — like many, many Americans. That’s it. I can handle the rest.

Yet apparently we ask too much of our country’s billionaires — who have fought universal healthcare tooth and nail with hundreds of millions, perhaps billions of their filthy dollars over decades.

Healthier people are unfortunately happier people; and happy people don’t fear the bogeyman. For obscene wealth inequality to work, billionaires need lots of bogeymen — and of course, lots of terrified poor people.   

Wasn’t it Christopher Hitchens who marveled that there are groups of Americans whom actually believe we aren’t awful enough to each other?

My medical adventure hasn’t yet reached a satisfactory or unsatisfactory conclusion — I am in Limbo — worried about insurance and coverage and pain and death and surgeries and recovery like so, so very many Americans. I won’t be pulling the trigger on American Shithole’s take on healthcare just yet; but I long to tell that story. I hope it ends well. Before it ends.

My experience so far is that every institution I have come in contact with involved in healthcare — from the pharmaceutical companies, to the insurance companies, to the hospital boards, as well as many of the doctors and the nurses — everyone involved is gaming the system.

None of them have your best interests, first.

Coming to this pitiful realization has siphoned my reservoir of hope more than Trump ever will. The disregard for the Hippocratic Oath in America — particularly regarding the opioid crisis — is at its heart, a betrayal by the scientific community. Greed apparently knows no boundaries. That’s what saddling healthcare with capitalism brings. Capitalism unleashes greed on our most desperate hour.

Our cruelty and indifference to our sick, our disabled, our dying, is appalling.

Anyway, back to the giant orange idiot, and how much he clearly does not give a fuck. I am starting to sense that Komàndant Bonespurs has pivoted from his “zero fucks given” default position at the outset of his presidency, to a somewhat more revved-up, 500+ days “negative fucks” attitude.

What’s the biggest story of the week — did daddy tell junior what to say about the Ruskies?

What was his response? He’s got Guiliani on television saying he can shoot the former head of the fucking FBI. Yep, put that one in the history books. He doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks or says at this point.

Are you numb yet?

Sure, legally it matters if he dictated the lies about the Trump Tower meeting that involved his son, but I’m not confident it matters in any sense involving the opinions of his base. With all the chum his legal team and the White House staff are heaving into the waters, the deplorables can feast for years without any need to belabor the facts — while the rest of us slowly drown in an ocean of deceit.

They are pirates on the high seas of American democracy, these filthy swashbucklers, riding the ugliest wave of populism since the 1930s. I look out on to the ocean that is America, and I dream of a blue tsunami — and yet all I see is Lady Liberty walking the plank.

What's on the horizon for America, you ask? Undiscovered country.

Will anyone bring these privateers to justice before it’s too late? Let’s ask the Magic 8-Ball one last time. (Don't count on it.)

B.S. Report

"Beginning June 15th at the Peace March in Chicago, the tour — dubbed March for Our Lives: Road to Change — will make 50 stops around the country over the course of 60 days. A separate tour led by March for Our Lives activists will make stops in all 27 of Florida’s congressional districts. Both tours will focus on registering young people to vote and educating the community about where their candidates stand on gun reform, and which of them have ties to the NRA." — Rolling Stone

4LWjr.

#500 Days of Trump #Giuliani #Robert Mueller #Jeff Sessions #Bill Clinton