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#weed is going to save me fr

girlboybug · 4 months

Text

Haunted

“my wicked tongue, where will it be, i know if i’m onto you, you must be onto me.”

or the one where it’s halloween at saltburn and you and farleigh ditch the party downstairs to celebrate with a little weed in your bedroom.

what’s playing 🎧: haunted by beyoncé

pairing : farleigh start x fem!reader (afab bodied)

*UNEDITED*

word count : 6k

CONTENT WARNINGS : SMUT, virgin!reader, bi coded! reader, heavy petting, grinding and dry humping, oral f!receiving, mentions of fingering, mentions of blowjobs, little bit of tip sucking oops, handjobs, light hair pulling, boob worship, sub coded farleigh for two seconds, smidge of overstimulation

TRIGGER WARNINGS : both reader and farleigh are high when they engage in the sexual activity but it’s all consensual they’re both equally high, ummmmmmmm hints of slut shaming in the beginning by farleigh but it’s not fr fr bc his ass is mother slut let’s be honest

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY FROM ME TO YOU :3!

a/n : comments rlly motivate me so if you enjoyed this plz lmk down in the comments <3

venetia and felix are nowhere to be found amidst the neon mess of bodies that inhabit every orifice of what was once an almost eerily quiet and empty corridor just this morning.

leaving you to be doomed to a fate of enduring a poorly put together semblance of…you think frankenstein, having a one sided conversation with you. “can i get you another drink?” he asks over the booming music and for the first time in the entire interaction you smile a genuine smile, nodding with urgency. “god yes—please,” you respond eagerly, handing him back your cup. he takes it with an undeserving great sense of pride, and you exhale with relief once he disappears from your line of vision, hoping he loses you in the crowd.

“interesting costume choice,” a familiar, annoying, voice comments behind you. without even turning around yet, you find yourself rolling your eyes. you give him a once over and scoff. his fangs protrude from his smile, and you wish it looked cartoonish and stupid, but alas, he unfortunately looks good. really good. but over your dead body would you ever admit that.

fake blood is dribbled from the corners of his mouth and two neat dots rest near his pulse on the side of his neck. a brow rises and crinkles your forehead, aiding in the faux judgment you cast upon him.

“rich coming from the guy who’s wearing the most generic costume known to man.” you retort back, subconsciously withholding a level of snideness. you like the build of veiled insults you two toss back and forth, it’s never fun if you start off too strong. you enjoy the way you both ease into it. it’s a flow you’ve both unknowingly created for each other.

his head shifts to the side when he rolls his eyes and exhales under his breath, and your heart falters just a little lower within your ribcage when you see a bright red kiss stain on his jaw.

“it’s in reference to bram stoker’s dracula, a classic piece of literature, but you?” his eyes flicker over you, a little upward curve growing in the corner of his mouth. “i thought you’d be better than defaulting to a sexy version of marie antoinette.” he folds his arms over his chest, peering down at you, unbeknownst to the excitement that bubbles in the depths of his chest as he awaits whatever response you’re brewing in your head to bite back with.

heat plants itself like a seed in the pit of your stomach and extends its branches through your chest and fans over your cheeks at his observation. a hefty cloud of pride quickly replacing it when his words ring through your head again.

he thinks i look sexy?

“i’m not a sexy marie antoinette. i’m just the normal version of her.” you reply with a sense of smugness, seemingly stealing his. a panicked look of ‘oh fuck’ flashes across his face, and he tries to save face, to seem cool and collected. but you didn’t miss it for one second. and you’ll be damned if you let go of the one time farleigh let himself falter in front of you.

“i meant slutty.” he replies cooly, and you nod, a stupid grin on your face that he wishes he could wipe off. “you called me sexy.” your grin only grows and he’s already rolling

his eyes once more. “i know no one compliments you like you wish they would, so anything that remotely sounds like one is enough for you to latch onto, but i promise,” he steps forward and leans his neck downward towards you, not bothering to bend down to meet your height. “i meant slutty.”

a rush of something you don’t want to distinguish floods the shoreline of your lower stomach and trickles heat between your inner thighs at the way he speaks to you, but you hide it, barely allowing yourself to even acknowledge it. “the biggest slut i know calling someone else slutty, that’s rich,” you internally groan, knowing your reply wasn’t as witty as you’d intended.

before farleigh can verbally retaliate, your name is called out and you recognize who it belongs to; your charming frankenstein. you panic for a moment, dreading being back in conversation with him and you glance up at farleigh, hurriedly switching your bodies around, successfully shielding yourself with his stature.

he’s confused for a moment before realizing what you’re using him for. he laughs and you smack his back, hushing him. while you hide behind him you take the fleeting moments you have to outline his broad shoulders with your eyes, and how they trail into a slim little waist. his perfectly tailored suit hugs him just right, and it makes your throat get a little tight. you never took the time to notice farleigh’s physique, rather opting to semi-playfully belittle him. you find hints of regret in that.

he turns back around to face you and you snap back into the present, not the paused moment in which saltburn was empty and all that occupied it was you and farleigh and his broad back and small waist. “coast is clear.” he says, switching his weight onto one foot. “frankenstein? really?” he seems unimpressed, almost… irritated? you’re unsure.

you grumble and smooth down the invisible wrinkles in your corset. “don’t start.” but he does anyway.

“didn’t know that was your type.”

“what?”

“somewhat stupid looking, bumbling.”

“what’s it matter to you?” you ask, wondering how far he’ll go with his dissertation on why the guy he has zero knowledge on is an idiot. “it doesn’t. it’s just getting a bit sad seeing that the only people who are interested in you are so…lacking.”

you suck on your teeth and nod, shrugging before you reply. “least i’m not fucking my teachers.” he heartily laughs, sticking his tongue in the bottom corner of his lip. “and yet, they all still trump your sorry excuses of flings.”

you open your mouth to correct him but you shut yourself up before you embarrass yourself. instead you just shake your head dismissively.

you perk up when you remember a little secret pick me up you’ve been hiding. you reach into your cleavage, unaware of the way the sight stirs something inside of farleigh. you pull out the joint you tucked away for safe keeping, waving it with an offering smile. “wanna share?” you ask and he chuckles in shock at the proposition. “weed? you’re a pothead now?” you sigh annoyedly and glare up at him. “you wanna share or not? quick before i change my mind.” he smirks and nods, eyeing the joint then you. “i’ll oblige.”

he follows you to your room, holding your waist to wade through the pool of people, with you flush against him. you ignore the way his hands mold around your waist, his long fingers curled across your dress, and you especially ignore how you can feel his rings through the thin material of your dress. definitely not wondering how they’d feel on your bare skin.

no, definitely not.

—

you lean against the open window of your bedroom with the joint, not wanting to taint the air with the stench, knowing elspeth’s keen nose would immediately clock it the moment she walks into your room.

farleigh coughs a lot more than you would’ve expected him to and it makes you beam with a feeling of superiority. “you smoke like half a pack of cigarettes every day, how on earth is this making you cough so hard?” you snicker, handing him a water bottle you keep by your bed.

he glares at you, taking a hefty swig from your bottle, setting it down before extending his hand back out for the joint, determined to prove a point. “forgive me for not being used to smoking weed, unlike you, you addict,” he mutters through an exhale of smoke.

you actually guffaw at his snippy little reply, for once in shock of something he has to say. “me? an addict? weed is probably the most harmless drug like—ever, whereas you, keep a keychain of literal cocaine on you almost at all times.”

he hates that he happens to have exactly what you just said on his person in this very moment. he tucks it away into his pocket and huffs. “i just do it socially, you’re probably up here all the time smoking alone like a loser by the window,” he has an infuriating self satisfied smirk when he speaks to you and you laugh sardonically, nodding along.

“well,” you say, taking in a hit, and letting it gently fan over his face when you exhale. “no one’s forcing you to engage in something apparently so below you,” you motion towards the door with a lazy jab of your head. “doors that way if you’re not enjoying yourself.”

he remains unfaltered in your cloud of smoke, letting it envelope him. he breathes it in, leaning against the windowsill. “do you want me to leave?”

“i always do.” you don’t miss a beat, a look that tells him you don’t really mean it is thinly covered with a fake smile, eliciting a chuckle from him through pursed lips.

“i don’t believe you.” he murmurs when he inches back toward you, plucking the joint from your fingers. he takes another hit, it’s smoother, he’s more in control of it, and something flutters inside you seeing the way he closes his eyes as he exhales the smoke out the window.

“you’re insufferable,” you say hushedly, gently. he chuckles quietly, handing you the joint. “and yet you keep me around anyway.”

“not by choice.”

—

as the night rages on, the joint you both share dwindles down into a dull roach. you crush the bud into your porcelain ashtray, tucking it away and beneath your nightstand.

your legs feel a little wobbly, your body has significantly loosened up and your center of gravity feels a bit off, but you feel good, and it seems farleigh feels the same. his eyes are low and hooded, they look a little red — it’s cute, kind of endearing too but you keep that to yourself like a bashful secret. his face and overall demeanor seems to be relaxed as well, a lot more loosened up than he was just an hour prior.

you smile at him, and there’s nothing hidden under the action, there’s no cover up for anything. you’re just happy to be with him in a moment like this. and he returns it to you, full sentiment and all, filling you with a sense of contentment. “feel nice?” you ask breathily, collapsing onto your bed. he joins you, plopping down beside you when he replies. “mmhm. i like it,” he says, his voice sounding a bit rougher from the smoke, like he’s on the edge of a rasp.

you shuffle around to lay on your side, your palm supporting the weight of your head, settling into a comfortable position. he copies your actions, switching around on his side to properly face you.

he looks beautiful with the way the moon creeps in through your parted window, the pale light complements the highlights in his curls and makes them look golden; he looks golden. but when your eyes fall on the taunting red kiss splayed on his jaw, everything turns back to copper.

“who gave you this?” you question him quietly, sadly. like it physically hurts you to ask him. your fingers hover just above the lipstick stain, unable to get yourself to touch it. in your induced state you’ve convinced yourself that if you were to ever touch farleigh’s face, it won’t be in the spot someone else tarnished with their own touch first.

“why?” he answers your question with another question and you huff under your breath, your filter too worn out from the weed to hide your frustration behind a poker face. “why can’t i ask?” you push a little further and he snickers lazily. “why do you wanna know?” he counters and you roll your heavy eyes, letting yourself fall onto your back once more.

he scoots closer to you, angling his neck to look downward at you, and he pouts with faux concern. “you jealous?” he asks, perking up and leaning towards you with a beaming smirk. you scoff, swallowing the lump in your throat as you turn to look away. the proximity of your faces is too much to bear, but not for him, his index and thumb guide you right back by your chin to face him. he keeps your gaze on him in place, his wide palm cupping your cheek. your skin tingles under the coldness from his rings.

now you know what it feels like, you think to yourself.

“tell me which one it is,” he says through a hushed exhale, leaning on his elbow, his eyes still angled down at you challengingly. “are you jealous of me, because — why wouldn’t you be,” he hums, his fingers ghosting over your temple.

and when he speaks again, you find that he’s moved in a lot closer now. “or of whoever left it?” his gaze flickering down to your lips and back up to your eyes, waiting expectantly for you to answer him.

your mouth goes even dryer than you thought it could, and you’re unsure of what to say, what to think, and between the lack of space between both of your lips and the questions he’s asking, you’re left frazzled. scrambling for something, anything to say.

you’re not sure how to reply, you’re shocked he even asked that to begin with, and now it’s your turn to visibly falter in front of him. he looks at you expectantly, and a little part of him feels as though he’s won some mini challenge in your ongoing battle to embarrass the other. but there’s a different type of smugness in his small victory, perhaps a confirmation on something he’d been wondering about for awhile.

“i’m not jealous of either of you,” your voice falls upon a faint breath and his brows push together, nodding patronizingly. “oh i’m sure.” he pushes a little harder on your buttons, waiting for when you finally do something about it.

“why would i be jealous of someone who gets with just anybody?” you add, sitting up on your elbows, unintentionally leaning in closer, engaging him in the push and pull. he follows your flow in motion, inching in closer, just a little, keeping the space between you both minimal. he laughs softly from the center of his belly, flicking a brow up. “versus what? someone who doesn’t get with anyone? sounds boring.” he adds, tilting his head, your noses brushing against each other’s. “boring is better than whatever you bring back home at night.” his chuckle falls across your lips at your response, and you find yourself parting your lips to breathe him in.

“are you admitting to having a non-existent sex life? i’d say i’m shocked but i’m not,” he replies, his voice at the tail-end of a whisper. a hazy, knowing smile begins to rise in the corner of his lips.

you take in a deep breath, smoothing out the duvet beneath your palms as you reply without a second thought to what you’re confessing to. “i’d rather get none than contract every std ever by fucking everyone who roams the halls at oxford,”

farleigh laughs initially, taking your playful jab before he pauses and looks at you a bit more seriously. a little too serious for your liking. it makes you burn up and inwardly panic. did you say something wrong? go too far?

“but you’ve had sex before…right?” he asks to clarify, sitting up a little straighter now. the burning sensation in your cheeks only heightens now. “um,” you’re once again left wondering how to reply but your pause acts as his answer alone. he sits all the way up now and you groan when you begin to hear the gears in his head shifting.

he says your name like he’s awestruck and you grab a pillow, pretending to suffocate yourself with it. he tosses it off of you and pulls you up to look at him. “you’ve really never…done it?” he asks again, unbelieving to this revelation. normally he’d find this to be a jackpot, chock full of new material to use against you. but right now he’s in too much disbelief to act on any of it.

“no,” you huff, avoiding his stare. “why not?” he asks, lowering his voice in a softer tone this time. “dunno,” you shrug. “no one really caught my eye enough to actually want to do it, and then you know college rolled around and i was just too busy for it.”

he half scoffs half laughs but it all stems from shock. “it’s impossible to be too busy for sex,” he opposes seriously, and you laugh dryly.

“yeah for you, but i actually care about my grades,” he shakes his head, shooing any topic of academics away. “yeah yeah whatever,” he waves you off, as if he’s clearing the air for his next round of questions. “you’ve at least kissed someone right—“ you’re shutting him up with a pillow thrown against his chest and he laughs, pushing it out of the way. ”of course i have farleigh, don’t be stupid,” you laugh, embarrassment still blooming in the depths of your chest.

“i had to check!” he says defensively and your embarrassment grows when you realize he really was genuinely asking, meaning it’s plausible that no one’s ever kissed you.

god.

you bury your face in the pillow that acted as your weapon just seconds ago, unable to face him.

his laughter rings pleasantly in your ears, his hands prying you away from the pillow, wanting to see you. “have you done…anything at all?” he asks, like it’s sensitive information he’s pulling from you. he’s gentler when he questions you, easing you into the topic. you nod, biting on your thumbnail as you recollect your sparse experiences.

“tell me about them,” he says, leaning back on both elbows, still turned to face you. you rest on your stomach, your forearms supporting your weight, situating yourself to share your run ins with fleeting intimacy. “well, it was freshman year back at oxford, some guy i think his name was theo—“

“theo wright?”

“uh yeah i think so—“

“well there’s your first mistake.” he says matter of factly, his words dying down towards the end when he sees your irritated expression.

“can i finish please?” you glare and he laughs, nodding. “is what you probably asked him right?” you stifle the laugh that almost slips out, opting to narrow your eyes at him annoyedly instead. “shush.” you huff.

“anyways, i’m not sure, i think it may have been at some dumb welcoming freshman’s party and we went upstairs and we kissed in some guy’s bed and he rubbed my inner thigh for like 5 minutes, completely under the impression he was touching my clit.” you can barely make it through the description of your time with theo without farleigh doubling over and laughing, nudging your arm with his head.

“oh my god that’s good,” he exhales at the end of his laughter, pretending to wipe a tear from the corners of his eyes. “you poor thing,” he sighs, patting your cheek. “and did you say anything? like…guide him to the right direction maybe?” you shake your head dejectedly. “no. i had to pretend to cum so he would stop.” you admit, the regret from that night pinging through you.

farleigh coos at you apologetically, stifling a laugh in the process, “poor baby,” he hums, patting your cheek. his ringed pinky casts away an imaginary strand of hair, finding any excuse there is to be near you, to touch you.

you melt under his touch, fighting the urge to lean into it. “that’s the closest thing you’ve had to a hook up?” he asks, fully focused on you, making you a bit nervous from all his attention being directed at you. there’s no audience to perform your shared act for, it’s just you and him, and you think you like this change of pace.

you shake your head, laying back against the headboard, resting your legs across farleigh’s, to which he welcomes without hesitation, throwing an arm over them casually.

“i had one more. it was with noa…” you trail off, a bit shyer expressing this particular experience. farleigh however is nowhere near shy, the word is nowhere near his vocabulary, instead his interest has been piqued and it’s visible in the way his ears just about perk. “wait, girl noa or boy noah—uh keaton or deacon?”

you’re silent for a moment, letting the muffled thrum of music fill the air before you speak again. “keaton.”

he laughs, shocked but impressed, his tongue poking the hollow curve of his cheek as he nods. “noa keaton, interesting...” he repeats back, mostly to himself, somewhat in awe.

“don’t be weird about it,” you groan and he shakes his head, rubbing your calf comfortingly. “no no i’m not i just wasn’t expecting that. good for you though,” he winks at you and you’re rolling your eyes.

“yeah. anyways she um…she fingered me in the library,” a fluttery feeling lines your stomach at the memory and farleigh catches onto your pauses, noticing a more positive physical reaction when you mention her. “yeah? was it good?” he asks lowly, his voice huskier than it was a moment ago and you nod, leaning your head against the cold wooden headboard. “it was—thankfully; she actually knew what to do, you know?” he nods, chuckling. “makes sense. did you get to finish that time?” he asks as if he’s actually concerned, and the way his hand keeps running up and down your legs makes you feel as if he just might be.

you’re not used to discussing such topics with farleigh, it’s unfamiliar and his bluntness and shamelessness in being open with how curious he is as to whether or not someone has made you cum is catching you off guard, but most concerningly, it’s making you ache. “no,” you finally answer, sighing sadly. “almost did. but we also almost got caught and then you know, she dropped out. haven’t heard from her since.”

you expect him to laugh, but he doesn’t. he takes a moment of silence and it acts as yet another surprise tonight; farleigh is capable of being quiet.

“so you haven’t had any experiences worth writing home about then, huh?” he verges on a whisper, his voice cradling the sides of your face, guiding your eyes back to his. you nod and he hums in tune to something similar of patronizing. “let alone any real ones,” he adds, his thumb swirling over your knee. you shrug lightly, anxiously fiddling with the ruffles at the skirt of your dress.

“do you want one?” he asks, his eyes keeping you still in place and you gasp silently, swallowing thickly. “want what?” you manage to reply, your nerves blanketing over you. “a good experience.” he answers lowly.

you stare at him for a second, unsure if he’s really just said what he said, but in the case that he did, you nod like you’ve been entranced by a siren song. but with the way farleigh looks at you when he speaks, with such an intensity and power that never allows you to look away, you feel as though you might as well have been.

he smiles at your agreement, sliding his hand down to your ankle and tugging you towards him. you gasp, yelping with low volume as you slide down your bed. he pulls you in close, climbing further into your bed until he’s on top of you.

his hooded eyes peer down at you, drinking you all in, so beautiful and pliable beneath him. he brings his thumb to your bottom lip, running along it and smearing your lipstick across your chin. he dips between your lips, smirking to himself when you kiss the pad of it.

he pulls away leaning downward until his nose nudges yours. “tell me i can kiss you,” he tells you, his words fanning out against your lips, and you nearly moan from the proximity itself. “i want you to kiss me.” you whisper back and you sweat you see a smile on his lips before they’re on yours.

you moan with relief, embarrassingly desperate to have farleigh on you. you’re chest to chest, lips interlocked with his cock pressed up against your clothed crotch, grinding lightly.

he groans in your mouth, sucking on your bottom lip as if it were secreting nectar. he’s starved from the weed consumption, and all those months of this incessant back and forth you two shared is all coming back full force. you can feel it in how hard he kisses you and the hunger that lies underneath it all.

his hand travels from the back of your knee, gliding over your leg and up your thigh, squeezing your hip when his hand finds purchase there. he ruts into you in waves, breaking apart from your lips, much to your dismay, to kiss and nip at your neck, rinsing you of the disappointment from the momentary lack of closeness.

“farleigh,” you breath out, your knees locking him in on either side of his hips, pushing up to meet his grinding motions. “what baby?” he mumbles, raspy and heavy and it makes your clit throb. “feels s’good,” you sigh lazily, arching your back into his chest. he chuckles, his ego rising with every little moan you give him.

“better than what theo did?” he asks, pushing his bulge right up against your clit, and you whimper, nodding stupidly. his signet ring tickles you through your thin panty hose when he inches closer between your thighs. your breath stops in the middle of your throat as he nears your cunt. “can i touch?” he whispers, his lips brushing against yours. you moan under your breath, nodding. “please?” you beg, heavy eyes of yours gazing at him from beneath your eyelashes, lips pouted desperately.

he doesn’t make you ask again, he’ll save that for another endeavor he hopes you two will indulge in again. for now he’ll give you what you want without making you work for it. at least, too hard.

he rubs you through your panty hose, sucking in a sharp breath. “fuckin’ soaked through baby,” he groans, kissing you hard.

the wind in your lungs has abandoned you, the air in the room playing cat and mouse with you amid your struggle to keep up. farleigh’s touches making the feat all the more increasingly difficult. he sends you one last kiss on your lips, sponging one to your chin, then down your chest, nipping at the swell of your breasts.

“can i take this off?” he murmurs, his chin just beneath your sternum, fingers toying with the laces of your corset. you rest on your elbows, looking down at him, the way he peers up at you alone could convince you to commit the most heinous crimes. you nod, reaching down to untie them, but he’s quick to stop you. “let me do it,” he says, grasping your wrists. you swallow thickly, glancing at how his large hand easily holds both your wrists with ease.

he takes his time unlacing your corset, wanting to savor this juncture in time. he’s slower than you thought he’d be, treating you like a ribbon wrapped present, if he’s too rough it may all fall apart and honestly you fear that you might if he doesn’t move any faster.

“farleigh,” you whine, sitting back up. “hurry up or it stays on,” you nearly growl and he laughs, tugging everything undone with one harsh tug, opening your corset and baring your breasts. you gasp, instinctively covering yourself. he shakes his head, tsking you when he pulls your arms away. “thought you wanted me to hurry up?” he bites back just a little, playfully, pulling a glare from you. he doesn’t care, he’s already lowering himself back between your thighs, holding you by your calves to spread you open.

he grips your calf, the other squeezing your thigh, using them to keep you wide open for him. his hands are warm and firm around your flesh, and his tongue is wet and hot against your clothed cunt.

the small act alone propels you into hedonism, reminding you of how good pleasure can be, how all consuming it is, and in this moment it feels as though farleigh is the only one who can provide any relief for the burning engine grinding in the pit of your stomach, aching to be satiated.

“farleigh,” you whine, throwing your head back when he mouths at your cunt, his tongue burns through your thin layers but it’s not enough, you want his tongue to brand itself right up against your clit.

your desires and needs are caught through your drawn out breaths, tugging at the air in jagged gasps. he reads through all your little sounds, and without any coherent words needed, he digs a nail into your pale pantyhose, ripping them in the crotch and pushing your panties to the side, burying his tongue right where you need it to be, searing your soaked flesh with every broad flick of the wet muscle.

you gasp almost like it hurts, but it’s quite the opposite. he laps you up and devours your cunt like he’s trying to reach your heart, grappling around your legs and gripping your hips to keep you in place, starved for something sweet. his eyes that have held you inside silent conversations amidst a gathering of people are now shut, tucked away behind his eyelids and long lashes, too focused on the way you taste and how he can’t seem to get enough of you.

he’s never been this hungry before, and maybe it’s the weed or maybe it’s the simple fact he’s fantasized about this more often than he’d like to admit. on more than just a singular off handed occasion, his hand has slipped beneath his boxers, jaw clenched, eyebrows drawn together and teeth gritted, almost begrudgingly to the act itself.

but he always gives in.

the fantasy is always the same, it’s prompted by whatever stupid argument you two found yourselves in, and he shuts you up with his mouth latched onto your cunt, erasing any quips or snarkiness left in you and replacing them with the sounds of you struggling to barely even moan his name. and now that it’s real, he can’t just stop now, he wants to prolong this moment for as long as he can.

his nose swipes across your clit, pulling a drawn out moan from the depths of your chest, and you shudder, trying to find something to hold onto for security, but farleigh’s a step ahead of you, eagerly offering his hands for you to take. you do so, desperately, lacing your fingers together and whimpering when he takes in a dull quick breath before pouring himself into your cunt, flicking his tongue right there, and moaning to himself at the way you just melt into him.

you roll your hips into his mouth sporadically, with no real rhythm, your body reacting with violent jerks as if his tongue were electric, and he takes it all in stride, squeezing your hands lovingly.

and when he sucks on your clit, it’s too much, you can’t take it, it pulls you into a state of thick molasses, gleaming and aureate, only to settle into the center of your stomach, pushing inward and arching you forward into pure ember, sizzling through you until it reaches your fingertips.

you can hardly hear or feel yourself breathe, everything’s buzzing and muffled, honey coats your skin and encases you in its sweetness.

you can’t help the twitching in your hips and lower stomach, whimpering in pleasured agony when you come back to earth and feel farleigh’s mouth still on you, moaning to himself and toying with your clit between his lips.

you’re untangling your fingers, and he grunts when you try to squirm away from his mouth, but he’s not having it, gently smacking your hipbone, silently chastising you.

you whine, taking in hefty gasps, it’s starting to hurt but in a way you can’t say is bad. it’s just so overwhelming, it makes you burn from the inside out and you can’t stop the thin stream of tears that escape from your heavy eyes. your bare breasts heave in the thick air, your mouth is parted with a choppy flow of pleadings with farleigh.

he slowly relents, planting one last firm kiss against your clit, peppering smaller ones across your hips and lower tummy, making his way back up to you. “hi,” he smiles as if he wasn’t just tongue deep inside your cunt. he swipes away the streaks of mascara tinted tears from your eyes, laughing breathily at the sight of your lack of coherence. “hi,” you exhale, grabbing his face and kissing him hard. his eyes shut when he leans into you, taking your lips in his. the taste of you is heavy on his tongue, heat fanning across your cheeks when you realize that bittersweet taste in his mouth is you.

your hand rests on his chest, slowly slipping lower and lower until you reach his bulge, palming him with fervor but maintaining some form of sensuality, albeit fueled with a sense of rushed desperation. you break apart from his lips and his head tilts forward, chasing after your kiss. you sponge a kiss against the corner of his lips, angling a downcast tilt towards his cock, mouth agape and eager to take him in. but he’s holding your jaw, stopping you and bringing you back to meet his gaze.

your eyebrows knit together with almost a betrayed curiosity. “why not?” you ask, almost naively, and he shakes his head, his thumb gently swiping across your bottom lip. “you don’t have to do that baby,” he promises, his voice left as a rich rasp from the smoke, and god he sounds so sexy, you want nothing more than to have his cock down your throat.

“i know i don’t have to, i want to,” you just about cross your heart and hope to die, to emphasize the genuine desire you have to suck him off.

“another time, i don’t want you to rush into something you’re not ready for,” he says softly, unintentionally sounding patronizing. it rubs you the wrong way, letting in a flood of embarrassment into your chest.

you scoff, hiding your insecurity with annoyance, folding your arms with a quiet huff. “i can handle it farleigh, if you think i’ll be bad just be honest and don’t hide behind fake reasons.”

he rolls his eyes, a faint smile on his lips betrays his act of annoyance. “you and your pride,” he mutters under his breath, a veil of adoration lacing through it.

“don’t be a brat,” he murmurs with a luster of playfulness, “i just don’t want to overwhelm you with too much too soon,”

you frown, moving away strands of hair from his face, sighing. “is this okay then? too much?” you whisper hotly in his ear, leaning up into him. you reach beneath his dress pants and boxers, wrapping your hand around the thickness of him and hiding your surprise at how big he feels in your palm, and how you can barely wrap around him with your fingers.

he falters above you, groaning in the crook of your neck with whimpers of please’s. you take this opportunity to guide him a little further on his side, lightly pushing him onto his back. you tuck yourself into his side, his arm pulling you in and holding you close.

you shove his pants down just enough to fully free his cock. arousal thrums all along your cunt once he’s freed from his pants. a twinge of gratefulness is in your gaze when you look back at farleigh’s low eyes. taking him down your throat admittedly would’ve been a difficult feat and you’re relieved he stopped you from doing so.

however you won’t admit to that, instead you wrap your hand around him, dragging your thumb around his tip, giggling when he winces with pleasure, curling into you.

you rest your chin on the top of his head, whimpering above him when he takes one of your nipples between his lips, swirling his tongue around them as you jerk him off.

“fuck,” he bucks his hips into the warm curl of your palm, running his fingers across your ribs, tugging you in closer towards him. he moans your name like its a saving grace into the valley of your breasts, inhaling your sweet perfume deeply. “does that feel good?” you ask softly, genuinely, and he groans, nodding.

“j-just, squeeze me right there,” he swallows hard, wrapping his large hand around yours when you travel a little further up his cock. you nod attentively, taking note of everything he likes. “tell me what else makes you feel good,” you murmur through kisses, planting them across his cheekbone. he fucking whimpers into your dampening flesh and your clit throbs at the sound.

“i like when you touch me right here,” he admits breathlessly, guiding your thumb to his tip. you nod, taking longer strokes, tightening your slickened grip and glazing over his sensitive tip.

“just like that, fuck,” he groans, panting heavily at the rhythm you’ve developed together. “you’re so cute like this,” you giggle lightly in his ear, teeth grazing his ear teasingly. you pump your wrist a little faster, feeling cocky at the way he falls apart in your hold, completely and utterly at your mercy.

he can’t help the way he tries to fuck your hand, grinding his hips desperately, neck bared for you when he throws his head back. you slide your arm a little further underneath his neck, cradling him close to your side, using your free hand to scratch at his scalp. his hips jerk and he moans, leaning into your gentle touches.

your eyes fall onto the wretched kiss stain on his skin once again, clenching your jaw. you smear it off of him, the flare up of jealousy sanctioning something in you to start dragging your wrist up and down a little faster, squeezing him a little tighter. pride rises within you when you see how receptive he is to it, trembling in the confines of beneath your wings.

you kiss the top of his head as he defaults right back into the sanctuary of your chest. his stubble tickles your skin, and you grow fond of the sensation. your poor hole clenches around nothing when your eyes peer down to see his cock weep in your hand, precum leaking and dribbling down your knuckles, agonizing over the same desire you possess.

the wet sound eliciting from your hand and his cock makes you ache, and you wonder what the tip of his cock would feel like rubbing against your clit. skin to skin. with each drag of your hand over him, you start to feel the familiar throb of desire settle back inside you, wishing your hand was your cunt taking him in. feeling each vein you feel right now but inside you, feeling his fat tip prod and hit right where your fingers could never reach. your fantasizing shows through the way you continue to jerk him off, growing hungrier and hungrier with each stroke.

“baby,” he groans into the thick air, as he lays helplessly beside you. “i wanna see you cum,” you whisper in his ear, unintentionally cushioning his face with your breasts and the act alone almost has him cumming in your hand.

he grips your lower back, burying his face in your chest, his body going rigid and firm, his cock twitching in your hold. “shit i think i’m— fuck baby tell me i can cum,” he begs, pressing needy kisses across your chest. you nod, pulling at the back of his curls forcing him to look at you. “you can cum for me farleigh,” you coo softly, lips pressed to the shell of his ear, your warm breath tickling his skin, and it’s all he needs to let go.

he can’t stop his eyes from falling shut in a tight pinch. his body locks up, his mouth parts open to pant in the air, his neck still displayed for your teeth to sink into, hips sporadically fucking into your pumping wrist.

you quickly release him, ducking down to wrap your lips around the head of his cock. you fight against the smile that wavers in your lips, feeling cocky over being the reason why he’s gasping loudly, whining your name as his cock twitches in your mouth.

you shut your eyes when he cums on your tongue, pleasantly surprised at the taste. he cums more than you would’ve expected but you take it all, eager to please him.

you gently lap at his tip, pushing your forearm on his stomach when he convulses from the sensitivity. “f-fuck, baby,” he breathes out, pulling you back up to him. he brings you down to his lips, guiding you onto your back when he kisses you.

it’s his turn to taste himself on your tongue and the thought of his cum gracing your mouth has his softening cock giving one last twitch. his hands run up and down your sides, savoring your skin and praying his hands and fingers memorize each curve and indent. “you’re so hot,” he whispers against your lips. you peck him, feeling warm. “i know.” he smiles, pecking you back.

he collapses beside you, straightening out the charm from your necklace back to the center of your collarbones and despite everything that transpired between you two, the small action still makes you feel flushed.

“would it be okay if i slept with you in your bed tonight?” he asks quietly, anxiously. you nod, turning to look at him with a delicate smile that tells him you’re more than happy to have him stay with you. “i’d be upset if you didn’t.”

relief floods him, in return allowing him to abide by his instincts to scoot closer towards you. he curls into your side completely, long limbs overtaking you and intertwining you two until you feel like you’re one.

“night.” he whispers, his lips ghosting over your shoulder, unsure if he’s still allowed to plant a kiss there. you’re too sleepy to notice, content enough with being in his arms. “goodnight,” you repeat back softly, pulling the blankets over your bodies.

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lunas-side-anime-blog · 1 year

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Modern College Student/BF Armin Arlert Headcanons

(rewatching aot and damn I forgot how much I love armin. someone pls put me onto some good armin fan fiction? this boy doesn’t get anough attention honestly, lemme know if you guys want me to do anyone else, im thinking eren next?)

Pre law student

I think in the modern world, Armin would only look at his love for the ocean and nature as hobbies. When it comes to investing in his education and making money to support himself and his family, he’d go into a major he’s good at just to be safe. And that’s persuasive arguments, crazy attention to detail and maybe a little manipulation for the greater good so yeah…lawyer it is 🙂

Currently focusing on political science for his BA before law school

Shares a small apartment with Eren and Mikasa cuz they all looked at dorm life and were collectively like “yea, fuck that”

Armin and Mikasa are up first every morning, and they usually share a lil breakfast together before deciding which one should dare try to drag Eren out of bed

Has the best color-coded notes, the type of student to type into the chats links to resources he found helpful when doing the homework, pulls thru with the quizlet right before quizzes

Heavy on that study beats, listens to it even when not studying

Has canva pro and no you cannot use it 🫶🏻

Strict study schedule but he doesn’t go overboard like other honor kids. He gives himself plenty of breaks and plans his workload so he can enjoy his weekends bc he knows he’ll be useless all burnout

His Starbucks order is an iced brown sugar oat milk shaken espresso, sometimes with a blueberry muffin, boy likes his sweets

The Starbucks staff around the corner knows him personally and even have a lil crush on him since he's there so often, polite and always puts something in the tip jar (he may get a few free cake pops here and there)

Loves the sims and doing little legacy challenges, the type to get emotional when his sim gets married or has kids because he fr raised them

Deep into the lore too, has his theories about Bella Goth and hates Don Lothario with a passion

One time Eren deleted his saved family and Armin didn’t speak to that man for two weeks

Secretly loves fanfiction but only found family fanfiction bc it reminds him so much of his relationship with Eren and Mikasa. Soft spot for anything Harry Potter tho (proud ravenclaw)

I don’t think he’d smoke weed bc I feel like he’d be a paranoid high so it’d be more stressful than relaxing tbh

But he always trip sits his friends!

Will go to parties if dragged along but the most he’ll drink is like a twisted tea or white claw and just kinda watch his friends get hammered like 🫣

The type of guy at the party who’ll get dragged into some drunk crying girl’s story about her bf and he’s just sitting there with his one drink, sober asf like, “omfg bestie! you need to dump him, like i’ll help you draft that text rn”

Smells like Johnson and Johnsons baby soap and like he’s so embarrassed about it but his skin is so sensitive he has to use the goo goo gaga stuff

Other than that he kinda smells like fresh laundry? Uses too much detergent and dryer sheets so his clothes smell like extra good and he doesn’t wear cologne so yeah, hope you like Tide bitches✌🏼

Very loyal to the vanilla bean burts bees chapstick

Has a blue hydro flask that he always has with him, also constantly reminding his friends to drink more water

Totally has scared Eren by telling him about kidney stones and how the dumbass might have to just pee out rocks if he doesn’t drink sum fucking water.

Eren now takes hydrating v seriously :)

Most of his friends will go to him more than their actual advisor bc Armin is just much more helpful tbh and he loves telling them which classes or internships they should take.

Actually prefers articles and podcasts over books bc of practicality and he already has to read so fucking much for school

But is lowkey one of the annoying ppl where like any conversation you’ll have will end with him like, “Oh earlier I was listening to this one podcast and-”

Has painted his nails a few times but I think he’s a nail biter so he kinda stopped after unintentionally eating so much nail polish

Secret passion for skin care, may or may not be a skincarebyhyram stan

Tried countless times to get Eren to at least wear spf everyday but yea, that bitch don’t listen

Mikasa does tho and they actually go to sephora together once every month for lil skincare hauls (baddie w her baddie friend)

Calls his grandpa everyday, even if it’s just for a few minutes bc he knows his grandpa is all alone now that he left for school and armin just wants him to know that he’s doing fine and making him proud

As your Bf

You guys probably met thru a friend of a friend, most likely you befriended Mikasa or Eren and they started bringing you over and eventually Armin would meet you

Bc in no way would Armin actively search for something romantic when his main focus rn is getting his degree but like damn you were just-

Wow

Anyway, as your bf expect literally so many forehead kisses

Kinda clingy bc he is indeed a scorpio, once it’s official between you two every night he’s like “so we sleeping at my place or yours?”

Bc why would you guys just sleep apart from each other?

Armin fr forgot how to

Fav cuddle position is you on your back and him with his head on your chest and arms around your waist

Bonus if you play with his hair and whisper sweet nothings by his temple

I’m on team soft dom armin, boy is a ppl pleaser for sure but still a dom

He’s pretty vanilla and heavy on praise, but if you want him to go hard and degrade you or manhandle you, he would as long as you guys set up a safeword first

His post nut clarity would hit hard tho and he would be so afraid you saw him as some sort of sexist pig afterwards

“WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL AND STRONG, IN NO WAY DO I CODONE-”

“Babe chill all you did was spank me.”

If you have a vagina, he is like super educated on the anatomy🤓

Fr makes you pee after sex

Washes his hands before fingering you and you’re just sitting there trying to stay in the mood like “😀”

Tbh the only things I think would be off the table for Armin is anything unhygienic or like anything involving other ppl bc boy is too insecure and possessive for anyone else to be seeing you like that

Sex on the beach isn’t happening either.

If you try to convince him he would just be like,”Sand will end up everywhere (y/n)! Honestly, it’s like you WANT a yeast infection!”

Having a pre law bf is literally having your own attorney at your beck and call

If you have a problem with a teacher for example, Armin would fr hop on a call with the college and be like “sweetie, who was the head of your department again?”

Next thing you know the poor teacher is fired lol

Can and will fight all your battles

The perfect study buddy, like he'll make flashcards for you without you even asking or telling him what the next test was about?

You never have to edit or revise your essays again, Armin is just proud that you wrote it all out, he’ll take care of it from there so all you have to do later is submit

Armin made one day of the week your guys’ date night and literally someone would have to die in order for him to reschudle bc the boy takes it sooo seriously

Literally Eren can call from the hospital and Armin will just be like “you know what day it is? Right, it’s Thursday. Which is date night for me and Y/n. So unless that broken arm turns into organ failure, don’t call me!”

Date nights are museums, cafes, planetariums, sometimes you guys will even take a class together

But honestly, the best dates are the ones you guys have at home bc he likes just having you all to himself

Boy is jealous, but more so possessive

Like, it takes a very certain action to piss him off enough to act outwardly bitchy

Boys can make you laugh, they can compliment you, they can try to impress you

But if a boy were to try to protect and care for you?

Armin will snap

Thats literally his job and he sees it as a threat

Will go out of his way to make the dude look really incompentent.

Your study partner brought you a snack bc they know you missed breakfast?

“Y/n doesn’t like that brand, it hurts their tummy. Maybe you should ask before just shoving whatever in their face😒”

Its cold out and some guy offers you their jacket?

“Woah there, prince charming, I don't think your 10 dollar Old Navy hoodie is gonna cut it. Darling, why don’t we head inside and get you a hot drink? 😇”

A guy friend stops by with some medicine bc he heard you were at home sick?

Armin’s there at the door like, “My baby’s immune system is really weak right now, the last thing they need is strangers just coming over and making them sicker. How thoughtless are you?🤬”

Fights don’t really happen bc Armin is so good at de escalating situations, he’s also just such a simp for you that you’ll always gets your way

The only fights he won’t back down from are the ones where he feels like your safety is at risk

Over his dead fucking body would you do anything even remotely dangerous

This is where I see manipulative Armin. He’d use his skills to convince you that you didn’t even care about what you were arguing for in the first place

At first he might feel a little guilty but after realizing you’re objectively safer from his manipulation, he doesn’t feel as bad

Kinda yandere tbh, but really soft and not dangerous

Your location should always be on tho☺️

Fav Nicknames for you: darling, baby, princess/prince

Songs that fit the vibe: Turning Page by Sleeping At Last, Bad Habit by Steve Lacy and As The World Caves In by Mat Maltese

“Yes, it’s you I welcome death with, as the world caves in.”

“Nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart.”

“Thought you were too good for me my dear, never gave me time of day my dear.”

#armin headcanons #armin arlert #armin aot #aot #attack on titan #modern attack on titan #armin x you #yandere aot #yandere armin #attack on titan headcanons #college armin #anime headcanons #yandere attack on titan #daddy armin #yandere anime #headcanons

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remuslupinschocolat3 · 1 month

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My stardew valley headcanons because no one can stop me!!!!!!!

Part one

In alphabetical order

Abigail:

💎Bisexual

💎she/they

💎Hates children

💎In a Polycule with Sam and Sebastian

💎Shares a braincell with Sam

💎smoked weed once with Sebastian and threw up afterwards

💎has random beef with Haley that Haley isn't aware of

💎gets piercings just to spite her dad

💎was only good in English class in highschool

💎regrets being on 2020 alt tiktok

💎 secretly vandalizes their father's yoba shrine (he thinks it's Sebastian doing it)

💎their gay awakening was Keira Knightley in Pirates of the Caribbean (she just like me fr)

Alex

🏈the definition of comphet

🏈himbo

🏈gay man/lesbian alliance with Haley

🏈his first crush was the team captain of an Opponent's school gridball team

🏈 doesn't drink alcohol because he's scared to be like his father

🏈he had a pathetic crush on Elliot when Elliot first moved to the valley

🏈has a bottle of the perfume his mother used to wear and sprays it on his pillow when he's sad

🏈used to go to a gym in Zu City but stopped after a boy there asked him out

🏈dated Haley in highschool for half a year until both of them came out to the other in hopes to let the other down gently

Caroline

🍃not a single thought behind those eyes

🍃fell out of love with Pierre ten years ago

🍃grows marijuana plants in her tea house (have you seen her two heart event?)

🍃dyed her hair green once when she was 15 and never tried a different color again

🍃has a few secret tattoos

🍃the necklace she wears is a gift by Rasmodios

🍃best friends with Jodi and Robin

🍃loves to gossip, she knows everyone's business

🍃almost became an almond mom but stopped before it could affect Abigail in the long run

🍃she has no enemies, everyone loves her but hates her husband

Clint (it's red cus he's a red flag)

🔨4chan user

🔨incel

🔨used to tell his mom to make him a sandwich

🔨called his parents by their first names

🔨knows the Irish dance (I don't know what it's called lmao)

🔨can't have friendships with women because he always thinks they fall in love with him

🔨hasn't exercised since he finished highschool

🔨stalks Emily (that's canon) (stay away from her)

🔨can you tell I hate him yet?

Demetrius

🧪is the reason his first marriage failed

🧪controlling and possessive (Maru's two heart event)

🧪so boring

🧪thinks missionary is the only way to have sex

🧪I know people headcanon him as autistic but I think he's just petty

🧪 arrogant, thinks he's smarter than everyone else because he knows science

🧪was actually an okay step father to Sebastian until Maru was born

🧪him and Robin are not compatible but neither of them want to go through a second divorce

Elliot

🦀 gay and proud

🦀in his mid thirties

🦀 can't swim

🦀 used to write star trek fanfiction as a teenager on fanfiction.net

🦀so fucking tall

🦀went through three separate gender identity crisis before realizing that he just isn't comfortable expressing himself as a stereotypical manly man

🦀demi romantic

🦀gay man/lesbian alliance with Leah

🦀sees Leah as the little sister he never had

🦀 isn't really broke, he's a trustfund baby who wanted to experience what it's like to be a starving artist (thinks it makes his art more valid)

🦀Leah beat him up when she found out

🦀 obsessed with his hair (I'm so jealous of his luscious curls 😭😭😭)

🦀so dramatic (used to be a theater kid for sure)

Emily

🔮the character I headcanon as autistic

🔮 pansexual and asexual

🔮they/she, trans

🔮dating Sandy

🔮knows everyone's zodiac signs

🔮names her plants

🔮gets the zoomies after work (at night)

🔮Haley hates it

🔮Haley's biggest supporter

🔮vegan

🔮thinks of Clint as a genuine friend (save yourself girly pop)

🔮calls Sandy the weirdest nick names "hello my cuddle bear" "it's been too long since we last saw each other my strawberry jam"

🔮suckles on Pennies (she just like me fr)

🔮reads books about crystals for hours on end, Haley has to take the book away from her and drag her to bed sometimes

🔮has befriended the junimos

🔮Sandy sells the clothes she makes

🔮hates the taste of strawberry in candy and stuff

🔮would vape if vapes existed in stardew valley but not in a I'm a thirteen year old boy way but in a I like the taste and I enjoy making smoke rings kinda way

🔮you can't tell me that she's not a pothead

🔮knows Haley is a lesbian years before her sister figures it out

🔮besties with Shane (refuses to sell him alcohol at the Stardrop saloon)

🔮gets extremely flustered around people she deems as attractive

🔮is really bad at doing her own makeup (Sandy or Haley do it for her)

🔮has a huge tattoo that covers almost her entire back

🔮her energy is contagious

🔮high School was very hard for her but college was the best time of her life

🔮wants to buzz her hair so bad but has enough restrain to keep herself from doing so

🔮loves to make cocktails (she makes Gus try them and he always loves them and puts them on his menu)

🔮makes Shane, Sandy and Haley cosplay with her (none of them want to but they can't say no when Emily looks at them with that wide eyed grin of hers)

🔮unleashed a group of rats in JoJa mart because Shane complained once (1 time) about his working conditions, the store closed for two months

🔮can you tell how much I love Emily?

#stardew valley #sdv #stardew headcanon #abigail stardew valley #alex stardew valley #caroline stardew valley #clint stardew #sdv demetrius #stardew elliott #stardew valley emily

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rainbownixie · 2 years

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i'm sick of people saying jonathan "did nothing this season" and that "he's out of character".

i don't know about you, but i'd be pretty fucked up too if i had gone through half of the things jonathan's been through. he had an abusive dad and had to take care of will from an early age, not to mention all the things related to the upside down, being about to die, and losing his little brother. of course he's fucked up. of course he needs weed to handle his emotions. plus, he has a long distance relationship and they're in the 80s so they don't have enough tech to be in touch all the time.

jonathan grew up with a shitty dad, in a shitty town, with shitty people, and the only ones he truly loves and trusts are his family. and he almost loses his little brother (canonically his best friend and favorite person in the whole world). and yet still he has enough love inside him to support everyone and be in a healthy relationship with nancy. if i were him i'd be in ruins. he's so so strong for that. for still being able to love after everything he's been through.

he constantly puts everyone first and sacrifices himself to help others. he's such a sweetheart and y'all treat him like shit because what? he's smoking weed and he looks kind of sad this season? sorry to break it to you but that's how having a shitty mental health looks! did you really expect him to go on as if nothing had happened?

the only reason why people don't like jonathan this season is because he handles his mental health differently and because his best friend isn't a normative skinny white guy. smoking weed to handle what happened to him is completely normal and exactly what chrissy was about to do (with even stronger drugs). jonathan is still jonathan. he's still lovely and supportive and has proven multiple times that would do anything for both will and el.

i don't know why's everyone saying he's out of character, when the only thing i would fix about his character would be having more screentime. i need to go inside his brain!! give me more jonathan!! to be honest, the cali squad deserved wayyyy more time on screen. jonathan's trauma deserves to be addressed too, because it doesn't start in s1. it starts when his dad was home and jonathan had to protect will. it starts when he didn't have any friends at school because they thought he was a freak. it starts when he started to put everyone else first, and forgot that he was a child too.

oh, and the "he did nothing this season" argument? what's all that about? because if we are referring to defeating vecna we can say the same exact thing about mike and will. i love my boys but the cali squad didn't have enough screentime to do anything and they only started being "productive to saving the world" when el joined them. but not everything has to do with saving the world and vecna! they saved el. they helped el. and in the way, they developed as characters. byler had their development. and jonathan? jonathan is the most amazing brother in the show. without jonathan there, they wouldn't have been able to look for el. he protected the kids with his whole soul. and without jonathan, will would've broken down right then and there.

and i'm not talking about their hug scene. jonathan spends all the season worried about will and protecting both him and mike. and el, too. stop acting like everything he did was being stoned because, yes, it's definitely a big part of the plot, but it's not his whole personality.

jonathan isn't out of character, just admit that you only like shitty mental health to be addressed when it's aesthetically pleasant and when you can ship him with a white skinny guy (this comes from someone who literally ships stonathan. don't sleep on jargyle! it's a great ship).

at this point i think the only ones who appreciate jonathan are jancys, jargyles and bylers! mostly bylers because he's just like us fr he wants to protect will and yell at mike so

#anyway jonathan byers my beloved #i would do anything for him #he's my favorite character i'm fighting for him til the end #jonathan byers #stranger things #jancy #plus he's the founder of will's protection squad #byler #jargyle

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bunni-v1 · 2 years

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Twst boys and weed

Tw: Drug use, it’s literally all about getting high! I also swear a lot. This was also written while I was completely fucked, and it is not grammatically correct.

Info: Jamil, Ruggie, Trey, Cater and Jade all getting high. Mentioned “you” with no specific description.

Summary: You know what it’s about.

🍓Hello friends! I’m making my return as finals are almost over, meaning I get a month long break where I’m free to do whatever I want! And I want to write! I’m EXTREMELY high right now, so I thought why not make some silly little blurbs pabout my favorite recreational hobby and twst boys!

⚠️Disclaimer! I do not recommend smoking to anyone underage in their state/country! If you do smoke please ensure you are with safe people and in a safe place. I always ensure that I am in a safe environment when I do so! However, don’t follow my example please!⚠️

Jamil for sure partakes in the “devils lettuce” (as my mother so lovingly calls it.) It’s literally one of the only moments of peace he gets in his life. He doesn’t usually smoke more than a hit or two, and he’s not exactly a lightweight, so it’s rare you’d find him ACTUALLY fucked up… but he smokes enough that it usually lingers long enough into the mornings that he can get shit done without losing his mind. However, it is a sight to see a really fucked up Jamil. He will not get that high often, and when he does he makes sure it’s never around Kalim, never when he has school, and just general rule of thumb shit. (I should take notes from this guy.) But he lets loose, completely relaxed and just himself. All that tension in his shoulders rolls out of him with the smoke. Also prone to getting the giggles. Bro will be cracking up over the most stupid bullshit. He has good shit too, he won’t smoke anything but the best that really mellows him out. I personally think, despite how he mellows out, he’d suck to smoke with. He’s picky about how he likes things around him, and he complains about how you smoke, and he will snap if you get on his nerves too much. Also, he isn’t really a social smoker to begin with. He smokes to calm down, people stress him out. Why would he get high with things that stress him out.

Ruggie is an obvious addition here. Like… look at him. Bro is just like me fr /hj. Nah but… weed is like one of the only ways he avoids burning himself out. The floaty, numbing feeling keeps him going through the day. He prefers the stuff that keeps him up and moving, saves the stuff that chills him out for when he gets with friends or is having a particularly rough week with Leona. He’s high functioning no matter what he does, his body pretty much used to working like that from how much he smokes. I promise you he’s absolutely fucked up 90% of the time, but he’s so used to doing shit high that no one notices. Like, that’s just how most people know Ruggie: high as hell. He is POSSESSIVE of his shit too. He’s poor, dude, his shit isn’t even that good — it tastes nasty and the high isn’t even all that enjoyable, but it’s what his money can afford. He doesn’t just share his stash with randoms, you’ve gotta be in tight with him for him to consider sharing. He doesn’t mind smoking with others though, so long as they bring their own.

Cater and Trey get high together, you can’t convince me otherwise. Cater smokes more regularly while Trey does so only when he’s really wound up. Cater started as a high school freshman as a way to cope with his depression and stress from his family. Trey started when he met Cater their first year of college together. Cater is a lightweight, which is all the better for him (Trey disagrees) while Trey takes a bit more to really get it into his system. Regardless of that, the two of them are probably the most fun to smoke with. They’re just constantly cracking jokes and daring each other to do stupid shit (that won’t get them caught/set off Riddle), all around really enjoyable to be around. Caters shit is so good too, it’s a nice gentle ease into a high that lasts the perfect amount of time. Doesn’t taste bad either! Trey sometimes will bake a whole batch of brownies with some and they’ll turn on a random shitty movie, eating through all the brownies until the two of them are so fucked up they can’t walk anymore.

Does it really surprise anyone that Jade is our last victim of my high? No, it doesn’t. Yeah, Jade gets high, for fucking sure. Though, I will say he’s not fond of actually smoking, he prefers edibles. Over that he prefers shrooms, but for the sake of this he’s high on weed, m’kay. Anyway, its… actually hard to tell when Jade is high. He hardly changes his outward behavior, still staring with that creepy smile, but Azul and Floyd know what he’s like. Behind those empty, unblinking eyes and disturbing smile is: …nothing! No thoughts going through his brain. He discovered weed during his time at the human boot camp thing he did, but didn’t try it until college where it was more readily available for him. Shit blew his mind. He’s more impulsive while he’s high, and it’s slightly easier to get him to do what you want him to. Not by much, because it could backfire on you and the intrusive thoughts would win, but if it succeeds you get everything you want and more! (Don’t try this, he may not be thinking of much, but he’s still Jade Leech). Not a good person to get high with, just like how he’s slightly more agreeable high, he’s also slightly (read: extremely) more manipulative and still as slimy as usual. His shit IS good though, almost worth what might come of you if you ever accepted his invitation.

#twst #twst headcanons #jamil viper #jade leech #cater diamond #trey clover #ruggie bucchi #blurbs🍦#drugs tw #weed mention

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mysicklove · 4 months

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Mello I know you drink too (bc sometimes you say you were smashed in the previous weekend lmfao) but how do you feel about smoking?

Because (you don’t really care abt it BUT ANYWAYSS) I know that for me it’s a major turn off. Like if I kiss you and you taste like tobacco I might actually puke. Even worse if you taste like unnaturally sweet mango or whatever the fuck 😭 and then smokers go on and cough like A MILLION times a day like, that makes me so mad. Just stfu sometimes yk????? Maybe I’m just a hater <3

HAHA yes i do, but in this case i was talking about smoking weed lol. i used to be a big stoner so idrc about it tbh, but since i quit i dont really want to be with someone who does it too much? and i think he does..

but yeah he does vape which is such a turn off for me. like FR FR. he said he is going to quit after his thing dies bc he did before but also that’s what everyone says so LMAOAOA

idk the more i think about him the more i am like …..we def won’t work out, but he is just so good looking and his accent is so attractive that whenever he speaks im like sighing whimsically. and he makes me laugh like so hard. idk i just will prob go out with him for funzies and NOT CATCH FEELINGS BC THAT WILL BE VERY STUPID OF ME

also, this is off topic but i need to rant a little bit. since he is like international student he can’t get a job here? idk…it’s not like something he can control but him not having a car and also struggling to afford like alot is kinda just a turn off? i feel like a dick saying this, but i just kinda like it when a guy pays for the first couple of dates without worry? and like he said he is going to pay for mini golfing but it like makes me want to die bc i know he can’t really afford it. and i also have to drive and idk i don’t like to drive and i just wish he could pick me up…

BUT he said he is trying to get a on campus job and save up for a car. but also he is SAYING these things, so who knows if he will actually do it

#💌 - love letters #secret admirer #cw weed #cw substance use #we won’t work out i know we won’t #but i wont think about it #i’m young let me have fun!! go on dates and talk to questionable men so that i can tell about my stories to my friends #male attention is always nice

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hexellent · 9 months

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So far I've mostly just seen your Tails on display, so I gotta say that's why I followed, but man I gotta gush about how the way you write him is so unbelievably killer. That older portrayal you've got going on is so good, I adore how chill he is. One moment that stood out to me was a post where he was basically like "yeah i recreationally smoke weed, it helps me chill out and get more sleep. what's so crazy about that." and I was so instantly like. Oh yeah, this Tails is good.

You can really see that he's leveled out and come into his own over time. But he still has snark and attitude when it's time to defend against someone or something brushing up against him in a way uncomfortable to him, he hasn't lost any edge. It's only gotten more honed as he's gotten older and gained more confidence. He's so undeniably himself! I legitimately love it!

Haven't been following you long and I'm already beyond thrilled to see you on my dash every time you post. Waggles two big thumbs up.

@skyfcx // Why u here tho-

NOW YOU WAIT A GODDAMN MINUTE THERE BUCKO!! THIS IS SO FUCKING NICE? WHAT?? HOW'D YOU CLOCK THAT MUCH ARE YOU IN MY NOGGIN OR SOMETHING??

FR THOUGH, I've been thinking about Tails as he grows up for some time now, and Tails has been my favorite since I was like 12-13?? So I've always had my feelings on him and how much potential he has as a person. Dude was beyond college level smart at Eight Years Old. But at the same time, he was still a kid. So of course his intelligence doesn't mean he's perfect at everything. And on top of that, being a child of war so to speak, thats gotta leave you with some lasting effects, hence the insomnia.

He's not perfect, he knows that. And mostly accepts that. He gets jealous. He gets rough and out of hand. He has his highs and lows just like anyone else. He won't pretend like he's on some mighty high horse about useless things like drugs or petty brawls. However he still has a strong sense of justice when it comes to the distruction of other people's lives that didn't deserve it. (Sonic's cocky nature also rubbed off on him which is both hilarious and awful depending on the situation LMAO)

I take a lot of inspo on this from Steven Universe: Future, because I always think about how realistically, the hero should not just be chillin after so many near death experiences. And seeing the Post-'Good Ending' thing where Steven basically had to relearn who he was outside of saving the world/galaxy was like my favorite thing.

I applied this to Tails with my own spin on it. Like he's generally understanding of his situation, regardless of how unfair it really is. And while I haven't touched on it yet, he did have to come to terms with Sonic's methods of dealing with villains. Long story short, he's not always a fan, but he understands why, and does not want to change that, because that would mean changing Sonic as a whole, and thats not for him to decide.

BUT UH THIS IS GETTING LONG!! I HOPE YOU KNOW THE ADMIRATION IS RETURNED 100% BECAUSE I LOVE HOW YOU WRITE TAILS!! It's so spot on for his character and how he thinks, I love it sm.

#don't yell at me i'll cry {ooc}#look to the stars for what you seek {answered}#skyfcx #THIS GOT LONG BUT PLS KNOW I LOVE HOW YOU WRITE #save

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div1nity · 1 year

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small little thing before next week is jam packed with finishing up with school . here's just some things about pregnant!coraline i just been thinkin .

i feel like , pregnancy is really hard for coraline - i mean , it is for everyone , but i feel like she feels it on such another level because it's is the most human she's ever , ever felt - because of that , her magic takes a step back , doesn't numb it like it would other pains - especially because there's a part of her willing her magic away because she wants to feel it authentically , so where it could help , she's not allowing it to . her hormones are off the charts , constantly up and down in every which way and it makes her want to curl up into a corner . she is going to need so much help in the delivery room , probably one of those cases where she's so drugged up she's asleep for a good couple of days and the doctors/nurses need to keep an eye on her ISDFISFISHFSF she's a gangsta until she knocks her hip on the counter or ends up in this situation, other pains ? getting punched, hit, stabbed ? ez peasy, this ? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

her morning sickness is bad , not enough to be diagnosed hyperemesis gravidarum , but damn well close .

working from home becomes a norm pretty early on , it helps not being out and about as much . luckily , it works out - coraline is a dedicated worker , when she wants something done , or wants something learned , it happens , maybe a little delayed than usual , but she does it and will still end up on top . it's also called not knowing when to say no and giving herself the rest she deserves . coraline please it wont kill you to rest you don't always have to be doing something .

smell aversions : coffee ( actually cries and wonders if its worth it when realising she has to put a pause on her caffine addictoin, it's been getting her through since stopping speed like fr ) , sweetcorn , peas , cheese , pickles .

food cravings : the same as when she's on her period tbh but its soooo much worse . loves her sugar and meats ; specifically , cookies , waffles and ice cream / whipped cream , fr needs to be handcuff because the amount of sugar cannot be healthy SODFHOSIFHSIODF and when it comes to main foods , beef , chicken , bacon and is an absolute nightmare for pasta .

becomes aware of how awkward she sits when her bump starts to get bigger ; cannot get comfy to save her life, wdym i cant sit side ways ? wdym i cant bring my knees up to my chest ? wdym i cant just hop up on the counter , that i cant raise my legs on the table top ? life is a fucking nightmare .

REALLY DEALS WITH THE LOSS OF BOOZE AND WEED . OH THAT SHIT HITS HER LIKE A TONNE OF BRICKS . towards the end , coraline is good at pacing herself . but god , they're still her vices - especially when she's in so much pain and wanting to just get the tinest bit of relief , the girl quit everything else , it's all she has - the backpain, the ever changing hormones, she's losing the will to live .

absolutely smokes late on in the pregnancy just to finally experience some relief then spends the next few days feeling like a horrible mother until she outs herself to the doctor and they're like ' is it the only time you did it ? ' '...yes but' 'it's not great but that's still good, lets work out some support system so you can fight the urge to smoke again' 'please give me drugs:('

despises maternity clothes shopping , holds off as long as she can before FINE, I'LL FIND NEW CLOTHES fuck you bolder in my stomach

100/10 experience . would do it again , wasn't all bad and what was bad it was the best thing she's ever lived through in hindsight .

#tw pregnancy #tw brief mention of smoking when pregnant #she does have fun and loves what it means. she just. a mother at heart and loves the experience #all the good and all the bad #shes sooooo <3 #anyway here have this <3 #headcanon.#might edit later but for now. this'll do <3 #SIHDFOSDHFIISOFSDF #JUST A LAZY THING THAT MAKES MY HEART GO BOOM BOOM OK

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penguins28 · 1 year

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also saturday morning at like 3 am i took 3 50 mg delta 8 gummies so 150 mg. DONT DO IT OMG ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE BAD ANXIETY. i was shaking for over an hour straight and was lowkey going crazyyy. everything felt like shaky my teeth were shaking like it was crazyyy. i lowkey felt a demonic presence with me no joke. i was praying and BEGGINGGG allah to save me and i keep telling myself no one has died from ts and that allah is with me. i survived clearly but i felt high for like 2 days straight and today is the first day since i took them i feel back to normal. i also sent it bed at like 5:30 am that night and woke up again at 6 something. i just felt soooo tired/ exhausted on saturday. i consider myself a stoner and regular edibles never did that type of effect on me but that d8 did. i also was so scared that i was gonna end up like that girl who is still missing bc she ran away while she was high off laced weed idk what was wrong with me. i also was sobbing and idk so much happened that night. i saw the hat man for a split second and i thought i was a demon and i also thought i was abt to die when i feel asleep. anywaysssss don’t do it fr it’s super scary

#tw ana diary #delta8 #weedsociety #edibles #delta 8 edibles #bad trip

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thin-violin · 3 months

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ana diary

there’s this girl, maybe we’ll call her Liza. Liza has an eating disorder, and just needs everybody to fucking know. (she has her personality problems, i’d never be friends with her one way or another).

but whenever she’s with anyone, she just has to announce how she hasn’t eaten, and it makes me insane because i also have never eaten by that point in the day!!! but i don’t brag about it bc i’m not a shitty person who wants to deliberately bring down the vibe for a little attention??

like, it’s entirely one thing to seek out help, to confide in the people close to you. it’s totally something else to brag about your eating disorder just so people will stress themselves with trying to save you! you are 21, not 15. it’s too old to be so inconsiderately throwing around words that you know affect people.

and that’s what makes me So Mad when people do this (anyone, Liza, or anyone else) because when you have an eating disorder or you struggle with disordered eating, you Know how deeply and legitimately words alone can impact someone. one mention of someone’s eating disorder is enough to send someone spiraling. we all know this, it’s literally half the battle. the whole thing takes you over, anything can trigger you. i know this, liza knows this, we all know this!!

and there are a bunch of younger (smaller) students in my major who brag about their eating disorders too… they’re typically only 18-19, but definitely old enough to understand.

anyways, that’s why my eating disorder has actually come back so severely this time. is because ppl around me kept bragging.

i have a couple closer friends who’ve also dealt with eating disorders and honestly?? praying to god that they don’t notice because that’s not something i can deal with!!! (also, i’ve had conversations with both of them about being affected by people who brag about their eating disorders… i really hope they don’t think too closely about any of it)

i have another friend who, maybe i’m being paranoid, but i swear he knows. maybe it was just because we were both drunk/high/crossed (dunno which he was, but i know which one i was!) and he hits me with the

“i was just thinking about how important what we put in our bodies is. we really need to nourish ourselves, that stuff really impacts you.”

and i was like “hehe yeah 😶”

also… speaking of being high… i get so wired sometimes now after i smoke. not always because i have the tolerance of a god! but, especially when i was dealing with a lot of anxiety, just a little weed was sending me to shakeville! she was fr vibrating after half a bowl and then cried in front of my friend

anyway, things aren’t going the greatest, i’m struggling to keep this whole eating disorder thing under wraps. but at this point, i’m a fully grown adult, i like to think that everyone will just turn a blind eye bc it’s my life and it’s not their job to help me.

but i need someone to help me!! i need someone to help me recover! even though i can’t recover because i’ll immediately gain back everything i lost, and very realistically more as well!! so i just need people to notice because i’ve worked so hard at starving myself and i’m the only one who can appreciate my efforts. and i need everyone to not see a thing because i’m so so so sooo ashamed of it all

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theshadowsnetwork · 5 months

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"You have to talk to her," Frances took the hand of her friend Enid, watching her face glow red from the fires on the shore. "Her Majesty listens to you, she trusts you."

"Her Majesty will do what she so pleases, as is her right as sovereign," Enid replied. The light flickered off of the ambassador's emblem pinned to her shirt. "Tonight is the only night we should have to endure fires and bloodshed."

"We shouldn't be focused on olive branches with cowards hiding in the black," Frances shook her head. "We need to secure our own borders, weed out traitors, and bury them with their treacherous general."

"The traitors are already dying, Frances." Enid turned to her friend.

"There's no way the general acted alone, and there is no way he's the only one out there. We need to find them and execute them all before they can raise their arms--"

"Frances--" Enid took a moment to calm herself, to steady her breathing before she continued on. "You sound like our fathers. We are not our fathers. We are not warmongers anymore. We must not the withdrawal of conquest turn us against ourselves.

"Tell that to the traitors."

Enid sighed. In the distance, she saw fire and safety start the long work of dousing the fires. It would take them all night into the morning to clean it all up. "Her Majesty is the most despised monarch in our history. If we killed everyone that ever entertained a thought against her and her wishes for peace, there would be no country left."

"You're right." The queen's voice, as soft and agreeable as it was, struck the handmaidens' ears violently. They turned to their monarch and fell to their knees...none more eagerly so than Frances.

"Your Grace, forgive me--" Frances fear kept her nose down to the ground as Skylar approached them. A speck of blood struck the marble before her, and only then did she find the cautious courage to look up. She found the white of Skylar's gown soiled by the crimson stain on her shoulder. Slowly, the wound reddened her arm. "Your grace, your wound--!"

"In time." Skylar stepped towards her ambassador, helping her to her feet. "Thank you, for reminding me of how easy it is to fall back into yesterday's habits."

Instinct commanded the handmaidens to stand and follow Skylar to her writing desk. She sat down and began to pen a short letter. "Do you share Frances's concerns? About the meeting with the Shadows? Should I leave them and turn my concerns to my own critics?"

Enid and Frances shared a look. Enid struggled to dictate her heart into words. But eventually, when the words did come to her, they were simple and true. "This Pan and Molly, and the company they keep. If they were our allies tonight... the naval yard would not be burning. And General Arya would be in a cell, and not dead."

Skylar's pen paused. Her eyes flickered in the fiery light. After a moment, she returned her attention to her letter, finishing off the remaining sentences, signing it, and folding it in half. "Frances." Skylar turned to the left and found her handmaiden rushing to meet her gaze. "Carry this to the War Room. You will find General Langhorn and Spymaster Aspen awaiting my next command. This writ gives Aspen command over our forces until I name a replacement for Arya."

"Aspen?" Frances stammered. "Not Langhorn? She'll kill me if I give her this letter."

Skylar's wrist twisted and her pen pointed to the fire outside the window. "No, she will not. Langhorn's ambition is too violent, and I do not trust her with power. She will have her chance to prove me wrong by following Aspen in the meantime. Now hurry along: there is an order to cease the assault and bring in the rest of the rebels alive. The faster you go, the more lives you save."

Francis nodded, took the letter, and started running.

Skylar stood from her desk. "The rest of you needn't worry about me. I'm going to get this wound cleaned and stitched. You all get some sleep."

Enid approached her queen. "Allow me, I can dress the wound myself--"

"No. You and your friends need to sleep. And besides," Skylar tapped the emblem on Enid's shirt. "You, yourself are an Ambassador to this country and a handmaiden no longer." She turned and started for the door. "Which you prove over and over again. Every day."

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ritualofthehabit · 6 months

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Weed is not legal in NYC and honestly that’s hilarious to me like y’all r out there “greatest city on earth” rolling off ur tongue meanwhile smoking dirt. Mids from someone’s saved seeds from the 80s. No wonder y’all go crazy fr coke n ketamine combos 😶

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twinstarlovers · 10 months

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But heyyy Lamo mamo I forgot I’m tryna make a business 😭 LATER ON in life. My Pisces midheaven is REAL. So yeah this is my plan. Everything is gonna be free for the dogs obviously & the homeless people. I want it little luxurious hotels around the world or just in the us idk I’m thinking & wherever we live I’m gonna work in the nearest one part time cus yeah. You know the universe is gonna bring the money later on in life cus ain’t no way they wouldn’t give me the money to do this. I’ll probably be a counselor or sum in one of the hotels for the traumatized people that are staying there. I think the employees will have to wear cameras mostly for me to keep an eye on them because they could think they can just neglect these people & like no. Lots of security & rules. Everything is gonna be beautiful & trust me I don’t play w someone playing w me so I will MAKE SURE you are homeless 😭. I would spy on you even if I had to cus you are living luxurious for free like who tf you think you are gonna play me fr. Lots of activities to do as well in the hotel. There’s gonna be a restaurant, a gym, probably a mini store for clothes except it’s for free but because I know people can be greedy I’ll probably limit how much you can get & shit but if I find you doing me dirty you getting kicked out idc. I think I’ll give people a max of how long they can stay there. Maybe the most is 3 years like I still want you to get your shit together cus you can’t live here forever you know cus there’s more homeless people that need a place to stay & to get their shit together. I literally don’t mind not getting paid at all for anything but I wanna be rich still you get me 😭. The rooms will customized as well like if it’s a family I’ll customize it for the kids as well like I imagine me giving a family a room & then they walk in there’s toys on the bed for the kids already & I’ll give the parents special treatment away from the kids like I’ll have activities for the kids while the parents can go relax or whatever. Ooo I’ll also add a salon as well. Ill also provide shuttle services as well. I’ll pay my employees good too. Likeeee you wanna help me Lamo? 🫵🏻🥹💕 we finna change the worlddddddddd ✨✨✨. I’m literally going against the government 💀. I’ll most definitely be very protective as well. I’ll probably do a spell on the whole building itself like a protection spell against people who praying on my down fall when it comes to my business.

Here & there I will do little field trips or vacations like I’ll take 2 families from the hotel to Disney land & it will all be payed for, things like that. It will be different for everyone. In a way I can do like a mini lottery every week & every week I take people out & yeah so it’s fair but for sure everyone will get a chance like you don’t leave my hotel without going somewhere. I’ll need some doctors. I need metal detectors as well & no drugs or at least no hard drugs. Weed idc but there will be a certain area to smoke because there will be kids & stuff. Security on every floor & a few in the entrance. Bulletproof everything because I’m going against the government & I gotta obviously protect these people. Our house will be very heavy guarded because of this as well because ima be such a target but idc I will have my business running after I die still & let’s say the government or whoever tries to burn my hotels down. I will have backup hotels that nobody will know about so the people who are affected aren’t homeless again. I would also be willing to pay for school to the adults who didn’t get to finish or sum as well. I will make sure everyone gets a job tho eventually like the older people cus that will be part of my rules, they can even work for me idc but the point is to get you on your feet. 3 years is the max cus that’s a lot of time to save a good amount of money considering everything is free where you live. I’ll have Christmas parties & birthday parties for all my guests & shit too like I want it to very homey & community like as well. I’ll have a big board of everyone’s bd & I’ll personally do something for everyone like everyone will feel special there. Yeahhhhh those are my future plans 😮‍💨. I’ve probably been told you this but this is more in detail.

Anywayssss I miss you I love you I just wanted to say all this haha bye bye Lamo 🧸 stay safe 🫵🏻🥺 it’s you FOREVER 🫵🏻🥹🫶🏼

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shxnixxv · 2 years

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Rant because I’m not over it. i feel like if you wanna go online and pay for pussy to jerk your dick off too when you have a girl right in front of you willing to do A LOT is insane. You must not fwm fr lol honestly. And also it makes no sense. If you wanna look at girls online, what’s stopping you from looking at girls in person right in front of me?? Looking at their boobs and butts as they walk by while I’m right next to you. OH!! oh because you know it’s weird and would make me uncomfortable, right?? But here I am telling you that you paying to see pussy online makes me uncomfortable buuuut that doesn’t matter to you 😂 You’re still gunna do tho huh? lol I can’t even find a way to be petty about this. I’m very selfish and I don’t want to share you. it feels like I’m sharing you rn in a sexual way but the girls are just online. Like oh I want some thing else besides my gf rn so ima go to Ashley’s house and fuck her (but in an online virtual way). I don’t like that at fucking all. But what can I do?? Break up? You live here now. I don’t wanna break up at all ever tbh. But this is something I don’t wanna compromise on. Your childhood trauma, defensiveness, forgetfulness, vaping, weed, etc. okay cool. things i’ll live with. but not this. Find another way to get your dopamine bro. I don’t feel desired by you having this habit. And I wish I was into big buff tall sexy asf guys with 10 inch dicks marketing towards me to watch them fuck or jack off. But i’m not :/ I hate that I only want you.

Im a fucking punk ass simp. You keep asking “Am I the right man for you?” and I think yes 100% EXCEPT this. This habit of yours makes me not even wanna fuck you sometimes. Instant turn tf off. Go jackoff to them like you wanna keep doing SOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING BAD. While we’re fucking, you could be thinking about a video you just saw. Or I think, does he even want me or is he just aroused by someone he saw online and I’m the closest girl willing to fuck him rn. It’s running through my mind like crazy almost every day. And I try to drop it but I don’t trust you’ll ever stop. You’ll just hide it better. I know if I looked at your card history, you’re still consistently paying for only fans. I know if you didn’t use a private browser you’d be exposed. I know you probably have saved nudes and videos on like google photos or other cloud based services. I’m not dumb you’re just a good hider. I just can’t go look because that’s a fucking invasion of fucking privacy and you won’t trust me. But guess what tho? Bc of this, I don’t trust you.

AND i feel like this is completely double standard. Soooooo when I was making and selling feet videos and you asked me to stop bc it made you uncomfortable, guess what i did……. STOP!!! I recognized that it made you uncomfortable that I was advertising myself as a basically sex worker online for other guys to jack off too. But it’s okay for YOUUUUU to be THOSE VERY MEN IN QUESTION?!?!?! And i’m just supposed to deal with it because “its not normal to ask them not to.” Fucking ridiculous.

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