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cookinguptales · 10 months

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So… I’ve been turning all this over in my head since last night, and I wanted to make a post about vampiric transformation as sex, and how it’s being used in wwdits as a metaphor for sexual repression, sexual freedom, virginity, and cuckolding.

Before I even get into the obvious metaphors about virginity and cuckolding, I think we need to talk about the elephant in the room. Guillermo’s sexual repression and how that’s come to find an outlet in his vampiric longing.

Guillermo is highly repressed, sexually speaking, but I don’t think he’s asexual. He’s shown interest in sex several times, but in an uncomfortable “this can’t be for me yet” kind of way. He was clearly raised Catholic and has internalized a lot of that shame re: sex, especially gay sex. He wants intimacy, but he’s also internalized the idea that wanting these things is dangerous and shameful.

But… the vampiric world seems to symbolize all the things that Guillermo wants but cannot have. He wants to be strong, powerful, attractive, and sexually liberated. As much as their openness about sex embarrasses him, there’s a certain longing there, too. He didn’t just want to be handsome as a vampire — he explicitly used the word “sexy.”

A vampiric Guillermo is a version of Guillermo that gets to have sex. Loudly, proudly, and without shame. It’s a version of him that is wanted, that wants, and who gets to have the precise kind of intimacy he's always craved.

Now, how much Guillermo has actually done sexually is still up for a lot of debate in fandom, but I think that’s kind of immaterial. For most of the show, Guillermo clearly wasn’t having the kind of intimacy that he wanted to be having, and he only started to even begin to allow himself to seriously consider all that in s4, when he got a boyfriend and came out to his family.

As being gay and wanting to be a vampire.

Guillermo is finally starting to own both his homosexuality and his vampiric life, and that means he’s finally starting to explore sex.

Now… At the end of s4, I talked about how Guillermo going to Derek in the finale had the air of a person who’d been fantasizing about losing their virginity in a certain way all their life — but then they finally give up on those dreams and hire a sex worker instead. There’s a resignation there in Guillermo that he couldn’t get it “the old-fashioned way,” he’s disappointed and jaded when it comes to intimate relationships, and now he’s tired of waiting for love and just wants a business transaction.

I wasn’t quite expecting for them to push that metaphor even more in s5! The money aspect was almost forgotten (Did… Derek even take the money? Why is he still cleaning toilets?) but the scene with Derek biting Guillermo was clearly a metaphorical virginity scene.

Guillermo’s nervous eagerness, his growing realization that this wasn’t actually the way he wanted it to happen. Asking Derek if he’d ever done this before and figuring out if he was “ready.” Taking off his clothes (that his grandmother got for him, even, that’s a whole meta post right THERE) and trying to make the vibe “right.” His insistence that though Nandor had never done this for him, they still had a caring and intimate relationship.

But… it was also a metaphor for bad sex. Many people lose their virginity in a way they don’t find satisfying, and Guillermo definitely seems to fall in this category. It was awkward, it was bloody, it hurt, his partner didn’t listen to him, they weren’t on the same wavelength, they didn’t connect, there was no emotional bond, and most importantly, he didn’t feel changed.

Like a lot of people do, Guillermo thought losing his virginity would change him. He’d be cooler, sexier, more powerful. His station in life would change. He’d become an adult his ideal form. But he’s still just Guillermo.

As he told Laszlo, as soon as he did it, he regretted it. He immediately knew that he’d been right, that this wasn’t the way he wanted to do it. He wanted to do it with someone experienced who loved and cared about him, who listened to him, and he wanted that person to be Nandor. But he wasn’t patient, he paid an inexperienced acquaintance for a one-night-stand instead, and he was left feeling deeply unfulfilled.

Most upsettingly, he immediately discovered that, like virginity, you can’t lose it twice. He can’t just have a do-over with Nandor now. He’s given something up that he can’t give to anyone else, and he’s going to have to live with the consequences.

Because like sex for humans, transformation has social implications in the vampire world. It can only be done in very specific situations. Guillermo seems to have grown up in a human world where sex should only be happening within a heterosexual marriage, and now he’s finding that in the vampire world, transformation is only supposed to happen between a master and familiar currently in a contractual bond.

So… him going to Derek and finding “outlet” in another relationship, so to speak, is effectively vampirically cuckolding Nandor. He’s given that honor to another vampire, which Nandor seems to find both vampirically humiliating and personally hurtful. It would in fact hurt him so badly that he would probably not survive it, in Laszlo’s words.

(There’s also definitely an element of an abusive “if I can’t have you, no one can” vibe in Nandor’s threat to kill Guillermo and then himself if Guillermo got what he needed from another vampire, but since when have we ever liked them well-adjusted?)

Guillermo is realizing that, as much as he’s been thinking of this in sexual terms, so have the vampires. He thought he was the only one who thought it was a big deal. He thought he was the only one placing intimacy and partnership and loyalty into this event. But now he’s realizing that as much as it meant to him, it might have even been a bigger thing for Nandor.

For Guillermo, vampirism-as-sex represents the idealized transformational aspects of losing your virginity. He’d built up this big event in his mind that represented his intimate bond with Nandor, he’d built up this idea that the event would change him, would make him better, would make him free. But he’s finding, like many first-timers do, that sometimes it’s not transformational. It’s just awkward and disappointing and the only thing that’s changed is that you ache in the morning.

He still doesn’t have the intimacy he wanted. He still doesn’t have the ability to be loudly himself. He still hasn’t been able to fully own his sexuality and ask for what he wants. He wasn’t ready. He didn’t enjoy it. He regrets it.

He also regrets it because now he knows it will hurt Nandor and the relationship they’ve built. Because for Nandor, vampirism-as-sex represents the societal aspects of sex. The rules people follow. The societal humiliation you feel if you’re cuckolded. The personal agony you feel when you’re cheated on. The sense that your home is broken if your partner goes to find satisfaction with someone else.

Guillermo, who has had to deal with societal disapproval of his desired type of sex in the human world his whole life, was viewing vampiric transformation as a way to be free of all that. The shame and the repression and the societal penalties for being himself.

But he’s just found himself in a mess of new rules, hasn’t he? Different culture, same struggle. And while the vampiric world has always symbolized a sexual liberation that both repulses and attracts Guillermo, he clearly doesn’t have as much freedom here as he thought.

So… to sum up, Guillermo always kind of thought of transformation as losing his virginity. He associated vampirism with sex, and he thought this would be his entrance into the sexual world. He wanted to have an intimate experience with Nandor, but eventually gave up on that and decided to pay for it — and then immediately regretted it, both because he found it personally dissatisfying and because it came as a betrayal to the man he loves.

The problem is that he thought he was the only person thinking of it as sex — he didn’t realize that Nandor does, too, just in a very different way.

Nandor was also thinking of vampiric transformation as this special act, and one that belongs only to him as Guillermo’s master/partner. He was thinking of it in intimate terms, but also in societal partnership terms. He’s thinking of his household, while Guillermo was thinking of things on more individualistic terms.

If only they’d both talked about all this shit even once. :’)

But that’s not how we do things here in Staten Island!!! We just long for things ineffectively, keep secrets, and fuck everything up!

(There’s also a whole thing here about how Nandor wasn’t keeping his side of the relationship bargain and that’s why Guillermo looked elsewhere in a moment of weakness, but I guess that’s probably a separate post. This is long enough already.)

#I could talk about this so much more but this post is so long lmao #well guillermo you can never give nandor your first time but that doesn't mean you can't still build a relationship with him #more important for a guy to have your future than your past right?#lmao we'll see #nandermo #wwdits #wwdits meta #long post #wwdits spoilers

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2aceofspades · 7 months

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TW: Blood/Injury, body horror

...

Maybe I don't want to...

Previous | Next

Took forever to finish up ~nicely~, but I knew they needed one last moment together...

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #f!leo #future leo #rise cassandra #bad future rottmnt #wrong fabricated time branch #*pounds fists on the table* RAAAHHH #*long freaking sigh*...to be continued...?#we'll see #:)

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r0b0t1me · 1 year

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sssmokin’

#my art #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt movie #bad future #first time ever animating fx :o pretty alright with it.....#i hope i didnt make the breathing too subtle i guess we'll see (blows up)#if i was more powerful id animate him actually using the thing #maybe someday

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lu-lus-duckies · 2 months

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Since I can't submit videos as asks...

Anyway @nunalastor is this what your inbox looks like everyday?

How many cursed ask references have you noticed? I tried to combine as many as i could into one giant mess (featuring my horrendous voice as a bonus!)

#part 2 where lucifer bottoms in the future #or maybe not #depends on how lazy i get #i haven't drawn them naked... yet at least. we'll see #radioapple #revoke lulu's art license #lulu is delulu

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matchingbatbites · 2 months

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press here

I wrote another one. Thought up this idea and couldn't put it down. For @steddiemicrofic March prompt 'pin'.

388 words | Explicit | CW: physical restraint, use of "make me take it" for those who aren't a fan of that

“So what are those about?”

“What’s what about?” Eddie asks in return from where he’s hunched over, digging through his dresser, trying to find a specific shirt that Steve is 80% sure is in the dirty laundry. They’re supposed to be going to see some new movie, but Steve doesn’t mind stalling if it means he gets to see Eddie shirtless a bit longer.

“The handprints. You’ve told me about your other tattoos, but not about those.”

Steve’s noticed them before, of course he has. The two handprints on Eddie’s back are stark against his pale skin, like someone’s dipped their hands in black ink and pressed them to his shoulder blades.

They’re enticing. Steve has fantasized about lining his own hands up with them, of using them as a guide to hold Eddie against the wall or pin him down to the bed. Thoughts that have only increased as they’ve continued to dance around each other, neither willing to make the first move.

Eddie stands up straight and turns to look at Steve with a sharp grin. “Those? They’re so pretty boys know where to hold me down while they fuck me.”

Jesus Christ.

Every filthy thought Steve’s ever had about those marks flashes through his mind, and he’s paralyzed with desire as Eddie stalks over to where he’s sitting on the bed. The tension that’s been building between them is increasing rapidly, the atmosphere stifling as Eddie reaches down to take one of Steve’s hands in his own.

“Your hands are pretty big, Stevie. Wanna see if they match up to mine?”

They don’t match up, but only because Steve’s hands are bigger than the inked ones.

He eclipses them completely as he pushes down on them, pinning Eddie to the mattress as he fucks into him from behind. It’s better than anything he dreamed of, especially with Eddie’s eager babble and the sinful arch of his back.

“Fuuuck yes, that’s it. Make me take it, Stevie, so fucking good.”

Steve groans at the encouragement and snaps his hips harder, digs his fingers into Eddie’s skin and thinks about leaving bruises, leaving his own mark on the man. He wants Eddie to feel the ache later, a reminder of just how good Steve is at holding him down.

And hopefully, he’ll want to experience it again.

#thank you gin once again for letting me just drop filth into your dms #i feel like this would be better if it was more fleshed out #might do that in the future but we'll see #also!! baby's first homemade divider #i needed an appropriate one #steddie #steddie fic #steddiemicroficmarch #steve harrington #eddie munson #joey writes

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thedemonscrawler · 2 years

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as promised; lots of effort for an ultimately very silly comic

part 2 (maybe?)

#fnaf security breach #fnaf sun #fnaf daycare attendant #comic #idk man it'd been a bit since I'd really sunk my teeth into rendering #or did a comic in color #this is 100% on brand for me btw #98% of my BatIM comics are silly #future installments may or may not have the same level of rendering #we'll see!#but i absolutely wanna do future installments #Daycare Attendants vs a Bird #who will win #art

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paintpanic · 5 months

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#kirby series #kirby triple deluxe #no characters to tag today!#i made myself a new desktop background. if you like you are free to use it also.#it was fun to draw something in this style again. maybe we'll see more of it in the future?#headcanon time i think the castle here was left overgrown and in a state of disrepair after tdx. not at all a priority for the people-#who ended up in charge. who i think are probably the people of the sky.#apologies for the infrequency in posting! i've been drawing but it's all doodle sheet type stuff which i bet you guys are sick of by now.#i'd really like to be able to make more complete pieces but i'm in a bit of a creative rut atm. maybe when tablet come it will get better?#who's to say. certainly not me.#...if you read this all the way through you win a cookie.

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elysiantrait · 6 months

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📍19 Culpepper House, San Myshuno

Haisley and Amelia have decided to start out their YA lives moving into an apartment together in San Myshuno. 🤍

~ Next

Haisley y Amelia han decidido empezar sus vidas como adultas jóvenes mudándose juntas a un apartamento en San Myshuno. 🤍

I have mentioned before that I want to do the Sims in Bloom challenge in my #manifoldsave, so this is a prelude to that! I love these two girlies and I want their future child to be my heir/founder to the challenge. I didn't want to just wait until they have said child and then that child becomes a YA to start posting gameplay on the challenge so these "sib prelude" posts will cover their lives and of the future heir until the latter becomes a YA. These will be posted sporadically along side my Time Of Your Life and Into The Forest gameplays. I hope you enjoy them all as much as me!

He mencionado antes que quiero jugar el desafío Sims in Bloom en mi #manifoldsave así que esto es un preludio para eso! Amo mucho ha estas chicas y quiero que su futuro bebé sea el fundador del desafío. No quería esperar hasta que el bebé fuera adulto para empezar a postear sobre su familia en el blog así que estoy empezando con estos "sib preludio" publicaciones para cubrir sus vidas juntas y, por supuesto, las de el futuro fundador ó fundadora. Estas se publicarán esporádicamente junta con mis jugadas de Time Of Your Life e Into The Forest. ¡Espero que los disfruten todos tanto como yo!

#ts4 #ts4 legacy #ts4 gameplay #the sims 4 #los sims 4 #simblr #SimsInBloom #sims in bloom #sib prelude #manifoldsave #elysiantrait #*haisley jean #*amelia miranda by tulipsimss #I played around with some lamp shaders in these pics #I love the depth it adds to the scenes so we'll see #if I keep using them in the future

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linalilia · 1 year

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so i've made milgram memes before but i still haven't made any twst ones and.. i thought that i should change that.

(thank you sm @/alchemivich for the live 2d sprites!)

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miiukkaa · 11 months

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sharing some details i have had bouncing in my head with this specified area in the subway lair layout i'd drawn :)

a lot of the arcade machines got destroyed in the old lair, thus diminishing the boys' large game collection. a handful of these game machines can be seen scattered about the subway lair in the movie, though i believe this to be temporary for the most part ("we're just moving in so just put it wherever for now" kinda vibe). after the events of the movie, most (if not all) of the arcade machines would have instead been moved to a more designated area to spare anyone the headache of having to find that one specific game you wanna place at an odd corner in the home.

the layout i'd been planning is meant to be more established and overall feel more lived (maybe one to two years in after the second season). i had mikey spraypaint ⭐ glow-in-the-dark stars ⭐ over the arcade floor as to mimic the traditional arcade carpets!! of course, other surface areas were not spared from graffiti either, with my favorite one being "loser buys pizza" on one of the arcade machines (a near unnecessary mention, honestly, but very important a detail to me).

i fought with the idea of bringing back in the DDR game as its screen got smashed in season 2... (even though you'd think it'd be easily replacable). maybe the boys will get a new one in the near future, if at all. OH, and for access points, you got the stairs for one... but you can also walk through a pair of subway cars from the "bedroom" side!! (leo, for example, has access to two separate subway cars from his own, meaning he can walk in from either side of the arcade. other family members tend to walk through unoccupied cars instead of walking through leo's (unless they wanted to be annoying and/or say smth as they walked through)).

ALL IN ALL not too many details after all tbh but i'm more of a show-don't-tell kinda person anyway... so, hopefully the illustrations carry more details than my explaining does :)

#embracing my bg art -era #ideal future is where i draw each space/area separately and do a little ramble like this u_u #but we'll see...................#artists and writers!!!! FEEL FREE TO USE for reference!!!#feel free to ask questions and or throw in ideas btw i love brainstorming little details #miiukkart #rottmnt #rottmnt subway lair reference

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