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#we have a lot of conversations that are just...*several facial expressions and a glance or two* them: 'no.' me: 'OH COME ON'
afniel · 4 months
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Realizing that I went and wrote a bunch of intentionally aro relationships and my partner was like, "Idk, it seemed like normal relationships to me," and I was like, "I mean yeah it's not that different from ours, I guess, I was kind of going for 45° off from 'normal' romance," and they're like, "Okay, but ours is also pretty much like that," and I'm like, "Yeah, true," and now I'm like, damn hold up, are we both some kinda arospec and THIS is how we figure it out? Because I wrote a long-ass fic about intentionally queer-coded (among other things) robots? Life is weird, man.
Like I've been prone to extreme long-term crushes on a very few (mostly unattainable) people over the years, but I wouldn't have known what to do with them even if they worked out, and cough my ex was not even one of them. I just kind of assumed I was failing to feel a thing I was totally supposed to feel, there, and quite a lot of that relationship emotionally was me going, "Okay, I care like This, but I think I'm supposed to care like That? I'm pretty sure he cares That way. I'm not sure I do, but I mean, there's really only one way*, so maybe I'm just misreading this and actually I do care like That, I'm just bad at it."
*This was me being very incorrect, it turns out. There's all kinds of ways to love someone. It's a very inadequate and nonspecific word.
When I confessed my feelings (which I'd been sitting on for a year) to my partner, their reaction wasn't to be particularly romantic about it. In fact they told me they'd help me move to California if I wanted to. And after I got over my initial confusion of being kissed on the forehead (which is also not super romantic as a gesture and I couldn't decide how to even read that so I kinda skipped over even trying for a while), I was thinking, Awesome, that is a yes. They have promised to assist me with difficult stuff, and said nothing at all about emotions, because that's not a big deal anyway. The important thing is that I can rely on them and vice versa. Cool. We are basically together forever now. Which ended up being true. I just never moved out and now it's like 13 years later, go figure. But that's not what I think actually passes for reciprocating feelings for most people? Worked great for me though.
Anyway I feel like I have accidentally learned something about myself, lol. I guess romance is okay I guess, like it's not repulsive, but seriously, it's WAY more satisfying to me to guess someone else's Quiplash answer because you know they know you would think it's fucking funny, and you do, and because you think it's funny and you're well aware they know your type of humor and you know theirs and that you wouldn't expect them to use "cum" as an answer because that's not usually how they roll, so of course that is the only answer they can possibly give, which is instantly evident to both of you with no conversation whatsoever on the topic. When you got just one brain cell and it's quantum entangled with their just one brain cell so you have a lot of null discussions where nobody has to say anything but it's fully understood anyway, that's The Dream, if you ask me. And like I don't really think that's romantic by the usual definition. You can have that with friends and family, too. But that is what it turns out I prioritize in relationships, which I'm starting to feel like isn't what the majority of people are here for?
TFW it's hard to tell because I've been assuming I'm totally alloromantic so everything I experience must be typical totally alloromantic stuff too, but I'm starting to think it isn't maybe? But how do I even tell, this is like being colorblind, lmao.
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meanbossart · 1 month
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A long over-due ask compilation (Art & Music)
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It's vaguely based on a short story from the book "The Consumer" by Michael Gira, specifically "The Boss". I think it came up in conversation with a friend or something when I was picking a new username, so that's how we arrived at it - this was almost a decade ago so, my memory on it is a little hazy!
{MORE UNDER THE CUT]
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HAHA thank you so much!!! Glad you enjoy what I do 😎🍻
I BELIEVE this little guide I put together over here might be helpful to you, also! I touched on pretty much everything you brought up.
As for reference material when it comes to facial expressions, I have a mirror next to my desk which I glance at often and make weird faces at LOL and for consistency, it's really a matter of learning to dissect and remember facial structure. It's just something you end up developing an eye for when you've done it for long enough! Naturally, if we're talking about drawing existing characters, it's always helpful to just look at some pictures of their mugs and take a minute to define what features about them make their faces recognizable - I touch on this at the link above as well!
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I do plan on making a "drowstarion" (love that, by the way LOL) playlist eventually, life's just been kicking my ass and I hardly have the time 😭and when I do, I just wanna draw.
Otherwise I don't have any other playlists floating around at the moment, BUT the one my boyfriend made for his Vellioth comic can be found here, and it might scratch a similar itch!
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Thank you! I believe this was in reference to this post. Something like that takes me about... An hour??? If we're talking just the colors, at least. Though that's a really rough estimate because I take a lot of breaks, so my sense of time when I work ends up pretty skewed. Even if the application of the colors themselves took less than 20 minutes I probably spent 2 hours just staring at it LOL.
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My friend, I have no idea. I'm in a constant battle between "I want to draw more realistically" and "I want to simplify my art so I can draw more/faster". What you see is the result of that ongoing brain-tug-of-war.
Also, just the way I assume everyone else develops theirs - they see stuff they like and emulate it until their art is Frankensteinish enough to be it's own unique thing!
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I'm far from a Type O Negative buff, BUT I'm happy to share some of my favorites with you! They're quite scattered across a couple of their albums so I'm not sure I have a favorite, but I would say October Rust is a good starting point.
In no particular order, these are my most listened tracks of theirs: -Love You to Death -Black N.01 -Haunted -She Burned Me Down -Can't Lose You -I Don't Wanna Be Me -Be My Druidess -September Sun -Tripping A Blind Man
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Alas, I was one of those people who was already drawing in kindergarten 😅 though I would say I only started taking it seriously when I was around 15-16 years old. As someone who has tried their hand at several other hobbies since reaching adulthood, I get what you're saying that it can kinda feel like... You missed the wagon? I've felt that way about all kind of things lol
That said, I've seen adults managing to develop their art skills extremely fast and effectively before. Understanding where and how you need to improve, and how to follow lessons/guides best is something that is vastly improved by maturity and knowing how to best hone your time, attention, and resources - and those are skills we completely lack as children. So, I sincerely believe that as long as you commit yourself, you can definitely get to a point that you're happy with in a couple of years if not less.
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JUST DO IT BUDDY we are all just people looking through a screen and you won't ever see, talk, or meet 99% of the folks who ever clap eyes on what you post. Whenever you start getting nervous about sharing something, take a minute to ask yourself why you're nervous, and if none of the reasons have any genuine substance besides being afraid of what people "might think", just go ahead and post it. You're no mind-reader after all, and if you are, I doubt you can hear what a guy from Argentina or wherever is thinking about the art you made.
Point is, nobody online can touch you 🤷and if someone doesn't like what you do, they can simply choose to not interact with it, and if they do you can block and move on. There are zero reasons for you to feel "bad" about putting up a doodle when our experiences on the web are so easily curated nowadays.
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Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”
Fanonwriter2023 on AO3
Where CANON and FANON collide!
Season 7 FANON Speculation
Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic
Chapter 7 is now available on AO3.
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“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”
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“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”
Currently 7 chapters completed: 154.8K words Rated: Mature
One chapter will be posted at a time.
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Here’s a snippet from one of Buck’s and Eddie late night conversations included in chapter 7. ___________
After several minutes of silence, Buck clears his throat and asks, “Do you ever think about how… it’s not worth it?”
It’s like déjà vu as realization sets in for Eddie because they’ve had this conversation before but their roles were reversed and the question hits him in the chest like a boulder has been dropped on top of it.  As he looks at him, he tries to keep his facial expression neutral but he’s not sure if Buck even notices since he quickly glances at him then looks away.
“Not the therapy. I—I mean…”  He runs his hand over his face and continues. “Is being born even worth it?”  He meets Eddie’s eyes.  “I mean with all the crap we have to put up with when… dealing with our parents… or in my case the people who brought me into this world.”
Eddie doesn’t interrupt but he does raise his eyebrows.
Buck clears his throat and nervously rubs his sweaty hands on his thighs to dry them on his pants.  “I wanted them to love me but they’ve always had their own selfish reasons for bringing me into the world so…”  He trails off.
A loud and uncomfortable silence engulfs the room.
Then after a few seconds, in a low voice, Buck continues.  “Maybe things would have been better if I was never born.”  He shrugs his shoulders.  “I mean my defective parts prevented me from being able to do the one thing I was born to do and since I couldn’t do that… I’m just wondering what’s the point of it all since I wasn’t meant to be here in the first place.”
Eddie’s heart shatters at Buck’s words because after all these years, he still hasn’t realized how important he is to them.  Not just to him and Chris but to Maddie, Bobby and the 118 since they all need him.
He’s trying to think of the best way to respond so Buck will understand he’s needed and wanted but before he has the chance to, Buck stands up and says, “Sorry… I should take a shower and go back to bed because it’s late”.
___________
Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.
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Chapter Summaries
Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.
Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.
Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.
Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.
Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.
Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.
Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are part of the foundation when a couple builds a long-lasting love relationship.
__________
Read chapters 1-7 are available on AO3.
Continue reading on AO3
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Hi 👋🏾
I have spoken to you (everyone…?) in a minute so how are you? Just a little concept: what do you think matty would do if his partner/best friend had something like adhd or asd and became over stimulated? Maybe in like a party or out at dinner? That happens to me a lot so I was curious as to what you think :)
-🥳
Ooohhhh, I think he’s said he probably has ADHD and the only reason he hasn’t been diagnosed professionally is because “you probably couldn’t get me to stay in the chair long enough to get a diagnosis” that way years ago though. So I wonder if that’s changed?
With or without diagnosis/ treatment, I think he would be extremely understanding and sympathetic. Especially if those are things he’s felt before, and even more so, if the conversation has come up. Like if his partner or friend has told him that this is something that happens to them/ how they feel about it. He’d make a mental note to be extra cautious in highly stimulating environments and stuff. So, like, if you were at some dinner somewhere new and different, with a lot of people. Maybe the guys, their partners, but also friends of friends and folks from the label, etc. and everyone’s kinda talking so there are several conversations going at once, and waiters going back and forth and maybe some people are trying to make polite chitchat with her or get to know her, and it’s just a lot.
At first, Matty is pulled into some conversation between George and the equipment dude. Which makes him momentarily forget that these kinds of situations can be stressful for her. Then he glances over to ask if she wants her wine refilled or if needs anything, and sees from the look on her face, that everything’s overwhelming.
He gently touches her back. “Hey, you alright?”
He’s whispering, but she feels a bit weird that anyone/ everyone can see them and she doesn’t want her facial expression or anything to indicate that she doesn’t like being here. So, she’s annoyed that they’re even having this conversation. She tries to shut it down really quickly. Brushing him off. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”
He tries to ask her again, but she’s not having it. She feels silly that she can’t self-regulate and get her mind and body to calm down. And, on top of that, she feels guilty for concerning Matty in front of everyone he knows and cares about. She doesn’t want him to have to constantly think about her on a night like this.
“Excuse me, Darling. Come with me?” He takes her hand in his firmly, not giving her a chance to squirm away.
She sees him whisper something to George about needing to step away for a bit.
Once they’re alone in a secluded corner of the restaurant, he asks her again. “Listen, if this is all too much, we can just leave.”
“No, no! Please! I don’t wanna have to go around and explain to everyone-“
“Explain? You don’t need to explain. Say the word and we’ll leave, right now!”
“Matty, don’t be ridiculous.”
“Look into my eyes right now. I’m dead serious. Do I not look serious?”
She watches him, and he does, in fact, look serious.
“But that’s rude. I don’t wanna just disappear. Don’t want to hurt peoples feelings.”
“Literally who would care? What, George? George loves you. You love him. You’re always going on about how he’s like your brother. What? Adam and Carly? The parents who have a million things to worry about and will probably call their sitter a thousand times in the next half hour because they can’t chill? Or Jamie? Ross? Literally who would be mad at you?”
“Won’t they be mad at YOU?”
“The people whose opinion matters to me will understand. A friend of a friend who tagged along for a free dinner? Fuck no. I don’t care. Let’s get you home. You can relax. Unwind. Get a break from all this stuff. Yeah? Let’s go. George will hold onto our coats and stuff.”
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themafia-terrapins · 3 years
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Into the night.
A/N: You should read the post before this to get an understanding of this AU. Fair warning, this is pretty long. Enjoy! 💚
Disclaimer: mention of child abuse ahead. Be warned!
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Cold. Merciless. Dangerous. Mysterious.
They were the only words that many used to describe the Hamato Clan. No one wanted to mess with them in fear of what they would do, countless stories were told of those who had double crossed them and in result, hadn’t lived to see the next day. The most feared gang caught in a dark and ruthless world of crime, violence, blood and lust. Others wanted their wealth and power but not everything is what it seemed to be. 
The cold breeze hit Leonardo’s face, as he gulped down air quickly into his lungs. He was sure those horrid nightmares would have stopped, it had been almost 11 years for God’s sake. Cursing under his breath, he knocked down the tub of medication which rattled on the floor. The view of New York was beautiful from all the way up here and as frantically as he tried to focus on it, those poisonous thoughts blazed through his mind and he had no power to control it. 
“Father please don’t leave again” The young teen cried, trailing helplessly after the rat who swore angrily. Being only 13, he wasn’t able to grab those supplies that his brothers needed. They were forced to rely on Splinter but he would hardly help them. They were lucky if he even brought down the bare necessities for them to survive on. 
“How many times do I have to tell you leave me alone?! Enough!” Splinter growled, loosening his tie as he made his way to the sewers steps. But Leo had to try for his brothers, he couldn’t look at their pain anymore. He couldn’t go back empty handed, to witness Raphael put up a brave front despite actively bleeding and bruised practically everywhere on his frail body. He couldn’t see Donnie on the verge of another panic attack because he didn’t know how to fix them. He couldn’t bear to see Mikey trying to hold it all together but breaking down in the bathroom , when he thought nobody was listening because he couldn’t live in this nightmare. 
“R-Raph is hurt and we don’t have any more bandages” Leo spoke timidly, trying to sound clear and confident but his voice trembled. Splinter stood still and the turtle could already smell the sour whiskey from his clothes. It had been a bad day, he presumed. Whiskey was only drunk whenever a loss was incurred. And that usually meant he wouldn’t be home for days, much o the turtle’s pleasure. 
“What have I said about speaking back?!” Splinter bellowed, his arm whacking Leo backwards until his shell hit the tunnel. The side of his shell had already been damaged due to constantly training day and night to perfect the routine Splinter had set them. But an audible crack had been heard and a small gasp left his lips, already seeing a trickle of blood roll down his skin staining the previous bandages. He hadn’t even time to register the pain until Splinter loomed over his body, his eyes black and dangerous. 
“Father I’m-” Leo’s breath hitched in his throat, tears prickling his eyes painfully watching his hand raise slowly. ‘Not again, please not again’
“You’re absolutely hopeless, you hear me?!” Again Splinter punched the turtle, laughing each time when the terrapin recoiled in pain. Leonardo held his tongue, scared to further anger the drunken rat. Every slap, punch and kick was taken without a sound because the punishment for wincing was double the amount than the beating now. And he wasn’t so sure his shell could take anymore.
“Look at you! You expect to take on my legacy acting like a pathetic little girl?! Get out of my sight before I finish you” With one swift punch to Leo’s jaw, Splinter left to go topside. He could hear his evil voice cackle on the phone to one of his partners in this mysterious business he refused to utter a word about.
“Why do you hit us so much? What did we ever do to you?” Leo sobbed quietly, curling into a little ball on the floor. The punch on his plastron seared throughout his body, burning in hot white pain. Yet it must be nothing compared to what his brothers were going through. They were awaiting Leo but the eldest could barely move, let alone walk to their home. 
Home, usually described at being comforting and loving but he hadn’t felt any of these emotions since they moved in. He used to yearn for a mother to come and take their pain away but as he grew, that dream slowly died as hope in him also began to wither. 
Maybe one day things would be different...
---
Blaring traffic shocked the turtle out of his trance and with a shuddering breath, he took several deep breaths. He l
“Why must I be reminded of such memories?” Leonardo sighed, his hand drifting over his temple to soothe the dull ache. No matter how long it had been, the wound from his past was still fresh. They say time healed all pain so why did his still hurt? Some nights it was bearable and some nights it felt like he was being suffocated in his mind, slowly driving insane.
Physical pain definitely was a lot more tolerable than verbal, even now he could still hear the echo of Splinter’s voice reprimanding him whenever he failed. Those stabbing words ringing louder and louder in his ears, berating him for being stupid and weak. Laughing at how his ridiculous attempt of leading a team. Leonardo never wanted anything more than to make Splinter proud but during his years, he realised that it was never going to happen.
Splinter only cared for himself and Leo, along with his brothers, were merely pawns in his cruel game.
But now was not the time to dwell on these matters, things had to be done and completed. His phone rang jarring him out of his thoughts and he picked it up rather reluctantly.
“What is it, Silas?” His assistant/companion spoke quickly, picking up the disinterest in Leo’s voice. He was never one for sugarcoating his feelings or emotions, if the boss wanted something done it was pronto.
“Beast is requesting dinner with capo and the mob. Your presence is required, sir” Holding his urge to groan, the turtle glanced down at the lights that decorated the buildings of New York. They were so beautiful but he couldn’t even take the time to appreciate it, reality had called and with great reluctance he had to answer.  
Beast... what was there to say? He was a snob, ignorant, extremely wealthy but lacked any common sense or values. Leo’s patience was practically non existent whenever he communicated with him. While he provided a great reference for other business partners, Beast himself was on thin ice with the brothers.
“Dinner at... 1am?” Leo scowled, looking at his watch. Beast, while had been an average business partner, had constant demands and ideas that were completely absurd. The brothers were tiring of his constant requests and awful timing.
“I did not suggest the convocation at this late sir” The assistant began but Leo interrupted him, wanting to end this conversation. 
“Be that as it may, unfortunately I cannot attend. Cancel my plans for tonight, I have a reconciliation to attend to and the conference will take up most my time” He ordered, observing the bonsai trees that stood on the balcony. One thing he grew to adore was his plants, they were simple and with enough care and love, blossomed into something gorgeous. 
“I don’t think Beast will be pleased with the rejection. He only wants a few words with the mob and especially you, Capo” Silas tried to reason but the terrapin was adamant.
“Enough. Reschedule this meeting tomorrow at 11pm sharp. Am I understood?” Leo commanded and Silas nodded, already writing it down in his notepad.
“Crystal. Enjoy your night sir” ‘Unlikely’... Hanging up, the blue cladded turtle inhaled a deep breath to collect his thoughts. Cancelling the meeting is a mistake but there were bigger fish to fry tonight. Other duties lay heavy on his mind and with a turn of his heel, he left his safe haven. 
As he entered his room, a young woman appeared at his door. Her heels echoed on the polished marble floors, grinding on his last nerve. God he really didn’t want to deal with her right in this moment. Her eyes settled on his and her face lifted into a small smile, one he did not mirror back.
“Katherine, what brings you to my quarters? Surely you’re old enough to understand you cannot barge in whenever you please” Leonardo watched as the young woman quickly stepped back, picking up the heavy discomfort that lay in the air.
“My apologies Leonardo. It’s Raphael, he said that you guys are attending a conference tonight but it’s our 3 month-”
“I fail to understand how this is my problem” He was quick in letting her know, he hadn’t the time to listen to her. Truth be told, he would never understand why Raphael stuck with her. She caused more pain and grief than anything to him.
“Okay... but could you tell me at least why?” She cocked her head and Leo turned, his face set in a hard frown.
“That is between me and my brothers Katherine. I do not appreciate when people interfere in my business. That much should be painfully obvious” His tone was calm but the harsh voice was clearly heard.
Opening his cupboard door, the small picture of Eva caught his eye. A small pang of sadness washed over his body before getting a grip on himself, refusing himself to succumb to the weakness. Eva was the past yet it seemed no matter how long the years had gone by, the yearn was as strong as ever. He wondered if he would ever be free from the shackles around his heart that locked tightly in his chest.
He had to accept that no matter how much he hoped on a wishing star or to the sky, she simply was not coming back. On the side showed a glass mirror, outlining all the features on his face. Sleep hadn’t come to the turtle much recently, he was lucky to get 4 hours and that was on a good day.
“You know you can just call me Kiki like everyone else” She raised her brow as he grabbed his navy blue velvet suit, the unreadable facial expression plastered on his face while his dark sapphire eyes burned into hers. Still standing at the doorway, she felt almost scared of him. Despite being with his brother for around 8 years, she never felt like she knew Leo. No one did, he kept to himself and only showed his true colours to those he cared about.
“Katherine, if that is all you have come to say then I highly suggest you leave me be now. It would not bode well for you to overstep your boundaries” With an almost snarl, he walked forwards and closed his door. 
---
“Would you like some champagne, Mr Hamato? It’s the one you specifically requested, Dom Pérignon” The waiter asked and Leo nodded his head, flicking through the newspapers as he awaited the rest of his brothers to join him. This meeting was better suited to the office, he didn’t need any extra ears or eyes to listen in on the information discussed between them. 
“God, I need a drink” He could hear the brute’s voice carry through the halls and into the meeting room.
“Right away boss” Greyson, his assistant spoke and vanished to make his preferred alcoholic beverage.
“What is the occasion, dear brother? As much as I like to spend time with you, I’m assuming you haven’t called us for fun” Donnie sat down, his ankle resting on top of his thigh as his attention diverted to his brother. Delicately folding the papers up and placing them to the side, Leo eyed his younger brother with a smirk. 
“Always straight to the point Donatello. And you’d be correct, I’ve called this meeting to discuss our next steps” He spoke authoritatively as the turtles settled in their seats, glancing at the board which held ideas and secret plans.
“Did ya cancel tha meetin’ with Beast tonight?” Raph asked, eyes skimming at the tablet. That was very unlikely of the leader, he was the one always nagging to keep up with business meetings and such. 
“Yes, I’ll be damned if I have to listen to another lie of his again. He cannot speak clearly and I have no time for beating around the bush. Once we’re done with this proposal, it will be a big relief to have him off our backs” Leo sipped his wine, flicking through his notes. A few names picked up but on the whole, everything seemed relatively calm. But there was no resting, they couldn’t afford not to be on their guard. Trouble was brewing on the horizon, he could feel it in his body. 
“Fuck sake, how many times do I have to tell you I hate when you organise my notes like this” Mikey sighed irritably as his brothers smirked, looking at each other with amusement. 
It was a running joke that Mikey couldn’t hold an assistant down for more than 2 months. Perhaps it was his picky way of being organised or that he had a short temper and hated his things being out of place, they didn’t know. This new assistant fumbled with the drinks, paling as his boss shouted his displeasure. 
“What happened to Donetti Licata?” Donatello asked, chuckling at his younger brother expecting another childish story about organisation as it as had been the story before. 
“Fired him. Caught him screwing Mia in my bed. Which reminds me I really need to employ someone who actually has a working braincell” Mikey spoke nonchalantly while his brothers looked at each other wide eyed.
“Oh... shit. M’sorry Mike, that must’ve been hard” Raph murmured, surprised at how well his little brother was taking the whole thing. Almost... too well in his opinion. Amelia had been the light of his life, his love at one point. They both brought out the best in each other but perhaps it was simply a mirage to the toxicity that lay just under the surface.
She wasn’t the Amelia he fell in love with and as he came to grips with that, the idea of losing her forever felt absolutely scary to him. He tried everything to put their relationship on track but it was Amelia who refused to partake in anything.
“Hmm? Oh.. yeah. It was tolerable once I beat the shit out of him. I can’t ever believe I trusted the fucker....” Mikey leaned back on his chair as another glass of wine was placed in front of him. Yet the lump in his throat felt unmovable, rendering him breathless. 
“Don’t tell me ya still wit’ her Mike. Yer deserve better than that” Raphael’s hand ached to knock some sense into the terrapin. Even if she would countlessly cheat on him, which she probably had done, all she had to do was flutter her lashes and sweet talk him. And just like that Mikey would forgive her in that second. In his eyes, Mia could do no wrong. She had Mikey on a leash but of course, he was oblivious to it all.
“You still with Kiki?” Mikey retorted, venom in his words while his eyes glared at his brother. Raphael’s frown deepened, holding his gaze. While he knew it was in the heat of the moment, he wished Mikey could see the damage Amelia was doing to him. Kiki was different only because Raph knew her past, knew that she was damaged too. How could he, of all people, leave her hanging alone?
“Children, behave. What do we do about these last few payments? I’ve talked to Xavier and he’s saying Gomez hasn’t responded to anything. It’s high time we pay a special visit, he’s got to know who exactly he’s messing with here” Donnie rolled his eyes at the quarrel and adjusted his glasses, raising them closer to his eyes. Leonardo seemed to be in deep thought for a few seconds before looking at his family again.
“If that’s the case then I want you and Mikey to check it out tomorrow. Me and Raph will deal with Beast, we all know how dramatic he likes to get when he doesn’t get his way” They all knew the last time they messed with Beast, how he threatened to take his money away and leave them bankrupt. Regardless of his filthy money, the turtles were not affected without it.
Years of investing and saving up had allowed them to live luxuriously. They had everything they ever wanted, Beast was just a liability to them. They needed him to increase potential business partners. To be able to stay at the top, they needed to associate with people at the top. If that meant doing business with idiots who couldn’t hold their ground and lacked any sense of morals and values, then so be it.
This was the mafia, after all. Nothing was pretty here.
“He’s clearly trying to inherit the property, why not just kill him altogether” Mikey pointed out, leaning back on his chair but Leo shook his head.
“Too risky. He may be a fool but he’s a smart one. He has plenty of connections with others, much powerful than the ones we have. We’ll keep him on the side but don’t turn your eyes, he will strike when least expected. Once we secure this deal, you can unleash all your anger on him. For now, we stay in his good books. However long that may be” He grimaced at the thought of the meeting they were supposed to have instead of this one. How long the turtle brothers would remain on his good side was unknown but hey, only a few more months of his bullshit and it was home run. The brothers continued to talk about upcoming events and nearing the end of the meeting, they all grabbed their belongings. 
“Wait a sec, Amara’s coming here tomorrow?” Mikey read out the small note on the board and Leo nodded, finishing off his wine. 
“Yes, well technically she’s visiting but we needed some help around here and she agreed to stick around for a while” She was a close friend to the turtles, meeting them after they newly escaped Splinter’s clutches. She had found them at a time when they were barely breathing and even without knowing who they were, she nursed them back to health. They all were indebted to her. Throughout the years, she went back to Italy since her father was part of their own mafia but her loyalty to the turtles never wavered. 
“At least we get ta see a new face ‘round here. But goin’ back ta before, I can’t wait ta finally kill that bastard” Raphael cracked his knuckles, unbuttoning his vest. He never was one to take orders from people, he was incredibly stubborn and arrogant to take commands from someone else. He barely followed Leo’s on a good day, let alone someone who continually threatened him and his family. If it were up-to him, he would have Beast’s head on a silver platter and sent directly to his team 
“All in due time brother. For now, let’s focus on getting our money back and dealing with Beast”
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awhitehead17 · 3 years
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Batfam Alphabet: B - Bat Label
Summary: Unknowingly at nine years old, Dick started a tradition by labelling everything Bruce owns with the term bat at the beginning of it. Even now, years later, the family are still putting that labelling method to good use, even if it’s not used in the most serious of ways. 
Enjoy! :D
“What’s that?”
The question comes out of nowhere and Tim blinks before registering that he should give an answer. He glances at Jason who is standing next to him on his right.
“It’s a radar. I decided to do a little bit of experimenting, it’s supposed to specifically recognise-”
Jason waves his hand through the air in a slashing motion. “I really don’t care,” he deadpans, “I only asked what it was, not for a detailed explanation of it.”
Tim glares at him, feeling both annoyed and offended by the comment. Instead of retorting Tim goes back to his device and scans the area they are investigating. The two of them are out on patrol and have been sent to this location after reports of a truck full of highly toxic chemicals had recently passed through. Tim and Jason are to investigate and see if they can find any clues on this mysterious truck, Tim also thought this would be a good opportunity to try out his new gadget he built.
“Does it have a name?” Jason asks out of the blue again.
Tim frowns, considering Jason declares he’s not interested in his device he sure does seem curious about it.
“Uh no… why?”
“You should call it the batdar.”
Tim gapes at him, completely bewildered by the comment. His brother is wearing that stupid helmet so Tim couldn’t even get a clue to his facial expression on whether he’s being serious about this or not.
“What?” He gets out in the end, having no idea on what Jason is thinking.
“Yeah y’know, how everything we have has been named bat-something. Batcave, batmobile, batcomputer, batarangs, bat-signal. That could be the batdar.”
Tim just stares at Jason, following the man’s movements as he walks around the alley inspecting it. After several beats Tim shakes his head. “No. Absolutely not. That’s so stupid.”
Jason turns to him. “How so? Everything else works, so this could too. It just doesn’t sound right because it’s new.”
Tim runs a hand over his face in exasperation, not for the first time he worries about Jason’s mental wellbeing and maturity. “You do realise that everything else was named by Dick when he was nine. Bruce only started using those names because Dick kept insisting on it.”
“I know. I don’t see why we can’t keep the tradition going. I mean, in the community we’re known at the batfamily, so it really isn’t too farfetched.”
Tim shakes his head again and decides to drop the subject, it’s probably best to not indulge Jason with this line of thinking, it’ll only encourage him more and it’s already bad enough as it is.
Turns out Jason isn’t giving up the idea of naming Tim’s gadgets any time soon. As soon as they arrive back at the cave he brings it up again, this time dragging Steph and Dick into the conversation who eagerly respond to it.
“I think it’s great!” Steph claims grinning widely, she swivels around in the computer chair with a smiling Dick standing next to her.
Tim rolls his eyes at her. “Of course you would, it’s stupid.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?” She challenges him.
“You know exactly what I mean.” Tim retorts raising an eyebrow.
“I think we should label most things starting with ‘bat’. We have a reputation after all.” She says looking around, as if trying to find inspiration from around the cave.
“I mean there’s the batsuit.” Dick inputs from where he’s leaning against the computer desk.
“What about the batvault? Like where Bruce keeps all the hardcore stuff.”
“That could work.” Dick agrees easily. He reaches out and pokes at the chair Steph is sat in. “This could be the batchair.”
Steph hums. “Maybe, but wouldn’t the batchair be more suitable for Bruce’s chair at the Justice League HQ?”
“Good point.”
The two of them continue to throw words starting with bat at each other, each of them debating the suggestion before moving onto the next. After several minutes of this, Tim turns to Jason with an exasperated look on his face. “This is on you, look at what you have done.”
“I have no idea what you mean.” Jason smirks mischievously, his words counteracting his expression. The bastard knows exactly what he’s done.
“Hey, you know what,” Dick starts, getting their attention again, “when I was ten I tried calling Alfred Bruce’s batler.”
Dick receives a few surprised snorts for that statement.
“What was Alfred’s response to that?” Jason queries amusedly. Even Tim has to admit he’s curious to that one.
“All he did was raise an eyebrow at me and sent me that look. You know the one.”
They all snicker at the mental image of a tiny Dick Grayson being on the receiving send of one of Alfred disapproving looks.
“And here I was thinking we were the only ones still up at this time in the morning.”
A new voice interrupts their conversation and gets their attention. The four of them all look over to find Duke and Cass making their way across the cave towards them. The two groups at look at one another respectively, wondering the same thing, after all it is four in the morning and six of them were still up.
“Well we’re discussing the all-important matter of adding ‘bat’ to everything we own, because after all we do have a reputation to uphold.” Steph tells them.
Cass looks amused while Duke looks rightfully confused.
Tim holds up his hands. “I did not agree to this, Jason brought it up and here we are.”
“Ah ah ah,” Jason denies, “if you want to get technical, it’s originally Dick who brought it up, when he was nine. He started this whole ‘bat’ thing.”
Tim sends him a disbelieving look. “You brought it up tonight by calling my gadget the batdar. This is on you!”
His comment goes ignores as Jason addresses the rest of the group. “Did you know that Roy has nicknamed Bruce our bat-dad? I cracked up laughing when I first heard him say it so casually.”
Dick chuckles, nodding, “I do know that, yeah, I think he used it when we were in the Titan’s together a time or two.”
Steph spins on the chair to face Cass and Duke. “Have anything to add, any ideas to share?”
“Batcow.” Cass supplies simply.
Steph clicks her fingers, her face lighting up in recognition. “Oh yeah! How could we forget. Damian’s batcow and then there’s Titus and Ace as our bathounds.”
“I’ve got nothing,” Duke shakes his head seeming apologetic for not coming up with anything, “but all I know is that you’re all batshit crazy.”
A sudden silence envelops the room and everyone turns to stare at Duke. Duke himself is fighting a smile, clearly proud of his quip, but then loses the battle after Jason barks out a laugh, breaking the silence. Jason’s laugh is contagious and soon enough all of them have cracked up over Duke’s comment.
“Oh Duke, I knew there was a reason why I liked you, you dark horse.” Jason says breathlessly.
Duke shrugs sheepishly and seems to accept his words. Once they all calmed down, Tim decides he’s had enough and decides that he wants to go to bed, after all it is late, or early depending how you see it. Also he’s so done with the talk of bat named things.
Wishing everyone a goodnight Tim heads towards the stairs and in hindsight he really should have expected the next lot of comments giving that nights theme.
“Night Timmy, sleep tight-”
“- and don’t let the batbugs bite!”
As Tim groans another round of laughter starts up behind him. Why does he hang around these people again? What is the sole purpose of them? He swears that they lower his IQ bit by bit everyday and that’s saying something considering his best friends are Kon and Bart.
He loves them all really (Damian is very much debatable in that matter), but sometimes they really test him. He has to admit though life would be very different without them, he may complain about his family but he honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.
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ayuuria · 3 years
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Inuyasha Translation: Animage Magazine February 2010 Issue
Please do not repost this translation without my consent! This includes screenshots of any type and amount. If you wish to share this translation, simply link to this post.
For more information regarding the use of my translations, click here.
This was a translation request from @officialinuyasha. This article was published back when “Inuyasha the Final Act” was still airing.
Proof of the Successor
Tenseiga was a sword that was cut off from Tessaiga along with Meidōzangetsuha. Then is Inuyasha worthy of wielding the Tessaiga? Sesshōmaru has finally gone into serious mode. The unprecedented brother showdown is about to begin!
Sesshōmaru in “Inuyasha The Final Act” gave off the impression that he developed a compassionate heart in comparison to before. Not only did he have a soft gaze when he attended Kagura’s death but he also put himself at risk to save Rin who fell into the underworld.
However, on the one hand, he continued to hold a heart that stoically yearned for insatiable power. The one offensive technique that Tenseiga, “The sword of healing”, obtained: “Meidōzangetsuha”. At first, it could only open a small meidō in the shape of a crescent moon, but after several ordeals, it matures to the point that it can open a gigantic meidō close to the shape of a circle. All of this came about from Sesshōmaru’s ability.
However, no matter how much of a powerful sword Tenseiga becomes, Sesshōmaru was unable to throw away his obsession with Tessaiga. It was then that he learned through his battle with Shishinki that Tenseiga was a sword that was cut off from Tessaiga. Did his father give him Tessaiga’s unneeded aspect? Sesshōmaru, whose pride has been hurt, purposely goes along with Naraku’s trap.
Inuyasha vs Sesshōmaru. The not so long-ago clash between the brothers over Tessaiga is about to begin. Who is the rightful successor!?
Brothers with the Same Father
A full-fledged demon and half-demon but the two resemble each other somehow.
While they both have the same father, there’s a big difference in ability and thought process towards humans between Sesshōmaru, a full-fledged demon, and Inuyasha, a half-demon with a human mother. Inuyasha previously loved Kikyō and desperately protects Kagome. Sesshōmaru on the other hand, had no interest in humans. However, Rin’s existence has brought about change within his heart. Just as his mother said, did Sesshōmaru perhaps inherit his attachment to humans from his father?
A Strengthened Tessaiga
From numerous past battles, Tessaiga has become the most powerful weapon.
Tessaiga was originally a fang of Inuyasha’s greater demon father. Tōtōsai forged it into a sword and it became Inuyasha’s weapon. Afterwards, Inuyasha mastered various techniques such as the Wind Scar, Backlash Wave, and Adamant Barrage. In addition, Tessaiga has the ability to transform itself as well as becoming the barrier breaking red Tessaiga and the demon vortex cutting dragon-scaled Tessaiga. Furthermore, from the clash with Sesshōmaru, Tessaiga will climb to new heights.
Tessaiga and Tenseiga
The powerful weapon Tessaiga and the dead reviving Tenseiga
Inuyasha’s father entrusted him with Tessaiga. Meanwhile, Sesshōmaru was entrusted with “Tenseiga”, a sword that can revive the dead. Sesshōmaru exasperates dissatisfaction with Tenseiga as it cannot be used in battle. However, from obtaining Meidōzangetsuha, Tenseiga has become a powerful weapon. Sesshōmaru raised Tensaiga from only being able to open a small, crescent moon shaped meidō at the beginning, to being able to open a gigantic meidō in the shape of a near circle. However…
The Truth Behind Meidōzangetsuha
In order to strengthen Tessiaga, father used Sesshōmaru and Tenseiga?
Meidōzangetsuha was technique that their father stole from Shishinki. According to Shishinki, their father did not know what to do with Meidōzangetsuha and thus had Tenseiga created in order to cast it off of Tessaiga. Perhaps their father entrusted Sesshōmaru with Tenseiga in order to complete Meidōzangetsuha which a half-demon like Inuyasha couldn’t handle and then have (the technique) entrusted to Inuyasha someday? This gave birth to doubt within Sesshōmaru.
Naraku’s Trap
While realizing it is a trap set up by Naraku, Sesshōmaru purposely goes along with it.
Through Shishinki’s words, Sesshōmaru’s attachment to Tessaiga strengthened. There was no way Naraku would overlook the movement in his heart. The mirror fragment that Kanna (who died) left behind. While it was only a small piece, it did not lose the ability to take and duplicate an enemy’s technique. Sesshōmaru, who receives the fragment from Byakuya of the Mirage, puts it on Tenseiga while knowing it’s one of Naraku’s traps and challenges Inuyasha to a battle.
The Role of Sesshōmaru, Narita Ken
— Episode 15 “The Rightful Successor” depicts a fierce battle with Inuyasha. What were your thoughts when you enacted (that episode)?
Narita: I felt very tense through the whole thing and it was as though the content was reminding me of the movie. (translator’s note: He’s referring to the 3rd Inuyasha movie, Swords of the Honorable Ruler)
— Sesshōmaru says to Inuyasha “Show me Inuyasha. Proof that you are Tessaiga’s successor and not I.” and commences battle with him. Narita-san, how do you comprehend his feelings towards his father regarding Tenseiga and his anger towards Inuyasha?
Narita: I believe all of it is hatred. Only one with power should have a perfect sword. I think that natural thought is the sole source of his anger towards Inuyasha.
— In episode 15, do you think Sesshōmaru was truly trying to kill Inuyasha? Or was he merely testing him?
Narita: I believe it was both. Those without power die. There is no love or sympathy in that.
— In a previous conversation with Yamaguchi-san, he stated that Inuyasha and Sesshōmaru are jealous of each other. Having acted in “The Final Act” up to the midway point, how do you once again perceive Sesshōmaru’s relationship to Inuyasha?
Narita: I think there was jealousy at the beginning. However now, it’s not something that petty but rather, who’s stronger.  I think it’s this single point.
— Sesshōmaru relinquishes Meidōzangetsuha. What do you think this will bring about for him?
Narita: Growth. More strength.
— I would like to ask regarding the two in Sesshōmaru’s team. What sort of feelings do you think Sesshōmaru has for Rin?
Narita: A part within his heart. Like a nostalgic part that he lacks.
— In episode 9, Sesshōmaru saved Rin who had fallen into the underworld. In that episode, which scene left an impression on you?
Narita: The last scene where Sesshōmaru says, “You’re alright now”
— In addition, in episode 9, Sesshōmaru’s mother appears. What is your impression of her? What do you think mother and son have in common and what in way are they different?
Narita: That coldness. Indifference. She also had a comical aspect which I did not expect.
— Regarding the fussy Jaken, what do you think is the reason Sesshōmaru moves with him despite everything?
Narita: I think it’s because it can’t be helped. Like someday he might be useful for something.
— Jaken has a lot of funny lines. If there is a line that left a lasting impression on you, please tell us.
Narita: There’s so many that I can’t say just one.
— The amount of people that Sesshōmaru has connections with is gradually increasing. What sort of growth do you think he will achieve going foward?
Narita: I wish that Sesshōmaru himself never changes. I want him to maintain his sublime aloofness.
— In addition to giving the fans a message, please tell us how you will prepare to act Sesshōmaru in the second half of the series.
Narita: Thank you for always supporting me. In my mind, he has not changed. Any sort of love or kindness has nothing to do with his solitary world. Even if he becomes able to understand the hearts of humans, his heart will never be like the others. Please continue to watch over us.
Our Beloved Lord Sesshōmaru!?
From the point of view of Inuyasha’s party, Sesshōmaru is unsociable and completely does his own thing. But to Jaken and Rin, his existence is precious. Here we have a special feature regarding the two’s “love” for Lord Sesshōmaru!
The very powerful Lord Sesshōmaru. Why someone like him who has lived his life without relying on anyone, purposely moving together with Jaken and Rin? If you were to say it, I think it’s because the two of them are very cute. At first glance, Jaken is a middle-aged small demon with an underhanded personality that makes unnecessary comments and lies. However, you truly cannot hate that sense of restlessness. Rin, on the other hand, is a genuinely cute girl. Sesshōmaru listens to their arguments without the slightest change of expression but in reality, could he perhaps be biting down that amusement in his heart?
Finally, the best part about the two of them is their overflowing “love” for Lord Sesshōmaru. Sesshōmaru is of the strongest class within the “Inuyasha” world but when you see the two of them getting close to him, you can’t help but think the 3 of them are having fun in spite of it all.
Character Bios
Sesshōmaru As an aloof existence, Sesshōmaru has lived his life as he pleases. However, the existence of Tessaiga and Tensaiga leads his heart astray. And now to the brother’s showdown!
Jaken A small demon who serves as Sesshōmaru’s servant. While he makes blatant lies, he’s an existence that one can’t hate. He does not intend to lose to anyone when it comes to loyalty to Lord Sesshōmaru.
Rin A girl who lost her life after being attacked by man-eating wolves but was revived by Sesshōmaru’s “Healing Tenseiga”. Innocent and cheerful, she bares a carefree personality. Her special trait is her severe jabs at Jaken’s remarks.
The One in Charge of Reactions
The extremely cool Sesshōmaru does not break his facial expression easily, no matter what kind of enemy appears or what the enemy says to him. It is there that Jaken fulfills that important role. It is when Jaken is surprised and talks back to the enemy that the (conversational) exchange between Sesshōmaru’s party and the enemy begins to proceed. In other words, Jaken is in charge of reactions within Sesshōmaru’s party. There are times where he unintentionally goes overboard though…
The Life That Was Saved Twice
In episode 9, Rin is kidnapped and taken into the underworld. Sesshōmaru struggles hard to save Rin but Tenseiga can only revive a person once. Without the aid of Sesshōmaru’s mother, Rin would have remained dead. Sesshōmaru looks at Rin softly as she slowly opens her eyes. It was a scene that made you wonder what Sesshōmaru would do when Rin grows up.
You See, the Greatest Combination Within “Inuyasha” is the Silliness and Jabs of Jaken x Rin.
Jaken makes exaggerated and underhanded remarks and Rin jabs at them. There are some periodic gags that are sharp within “Inuyasha the Final Act” but the combination of these two is superb. For example, in episode 3
Jaken “Lord Sesshōmaru’s heart is perfect!”
Rin “He’s strong and kind~”
Jaken *teary eyed* “I don’t know anything about kindness.”
After that, there’s episode 14 that made the voice actor for Jaken, Chō-san, roar with laughter.
Jaken “I’m included with the small people?”
Rin “Master Jaken, you’re small in a lot of ways. Your height, heart, and personality.”
I wonder which dialogue between Jaken x Rin made all of you laugh the most?
The Role of Jaken, Chō
— Episode 15 “The Rightful Successor” depicts a fierce battle between Inuyasha and Sesshōmaru. How was the recording?
Chō: It was terrific. Especially Inuyasha’s yelling as there was a high amount of enthusiasm.
— Jaken appears to be the spokesperson for Sesshōmaru’s emotions (sometimes he gets it wrong though). What sort of feelings do you think he has towards Sesshōmaru?
Chō: Love itself. There’s something there that’s not just a master-servant relationship.
— Jaken has many humorous lines but having acted up to episode 15, which scene left an impression on you?
Chō: I love his reaction when Rin told him “Master Jaken, your personality and heart are small”
— There is silliness and jabs with Rin and they make a good combo. What is your impression of the dialogues with Noto-san? What is the fun part about acting?
Chō: Rin makes some pretty sadistic jabs. Jaken, who’s a masochist, is surprisingly happy with them.
— Jaken sometimes makes obvious lies. It is a refreshing level of falsehood but why does he do that?
Chō: He’s childish.
— What do you think is Jaken’s happiness?
Chō: Lord Sesshōmaru’s happiness.
— In addition to giving the fans a message, please tell us how you will prepare to act Jaken in the second half of the series.
Chō: I will play around while focusing!
The Role of Rin, Noto Mamiko
— Episode 15 “The Rightful Successor” depicts a fierce battle between Inuyasha and Sesshōmaru. How was the recording?
Noto: It had quite a tense feeling, and it pulled me deeper into the story.
— In episode 9, Rin fell into the underworld and was saved by Sesshōmaru. How did you feel seeing Sesshōmaru doing his utmost at the time?
Noto: I once again felt that Rin was truly precious to Sesshōmaru.
— Among the Rin scenes up to episode 15, which one left an impression on you?
Noto: I like the scene in episode 9 where after she’s saved by Sesshōmaru and opens her eyes, she says “Lord Sesshōmaru……” with a feeling of relief. There are a lot of other impressionable scenes so it’s hard to narrow it down (laughs).
— There is silliness and jabs with Jaken and they make a good combo. What is your impression of the dialogues with Chō-san? What is the fun part about acting?
Noto: Chō-san’s Jaken is the best!! Just the fact that I can dialogue with him makes me happy! Rin is quite harsh so acting that part is fun (laughs).
— What sort of feelings do you think Rin has for Sesshōmaru? Also, if Rin becomes an adult as is, how do you think those feelings will change?
Noto: It might be a little different from family, but I think she considers him as someone who is irreplaceably precious. When she becomes an adult…… I can’t really imagine it (laughs). It would be wonderful if she comes to (romantically) love him (laughs). However, I have a feeling (her feelings) won’t change. With Rin as she is now.
— What do you think is Rin’s happiness?
Noto: I think it’s being together with Sesshōmaru and Jaken.
— In addition to giving the fans a message, please tell us how you will prepare to act Rin in the second half of the series.
Noto: “Inuyasha the Final Act” is a truly passionate drama!!!! I plan to act with everything I’ve got alongside everyone until the end so please treat me well!!
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x0401x · 3 years
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Jeweler Richard Fanbook Short Story #6
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Moonstone’s Charity
“The moon is beautiful, huh!”
By the time that we exited the Shiseido Parlor, it was already completely dark outside. The moon loomed a faint blue, as if overlooking the night view of Ginza. Putting his coat back on, Richard silently averted his eyes when I looked back at him with an “isn’t it”. At any rate, I had gotten wholly used to eating out with this guy on Saturdays after work. It was worth making him puddings as payback, I thought.
“Speaking of which, the stone you sold to today’s customers was a ‘stone of the moon’, wasn’t it?”
“Please call it ‘moonstone’. There are other rock specimens that are referred to as ‘stones of the moon’. Confusing the meaning of the words is deplorable.”
“Is that so?! Aight, I’ll take it to heart.”
Today’s customers were the parents of a naïve young lady, and the goods they bought were a moonstone jewelry set for her. It seemed that the young lady, who still had childish facial traits, was going to get married, so her parents ordered a necklace from Etranger for her to take along when the time came. Bearing a rainbow light over a milky blue color, the cabochon-cut moonstone was combined with white diamonds for the necklace and bracelet. It overflowed with a soulful beauty, almost as if it had borrowed the glow of an aurora from a Scandinavian sky.
Apparently, the moonstone, which was also one of the June birthstones, had been familiarized as a power stone since the distant past, and was renowned especially as a stone that celebrated the well-being and fortune of women. Having the commemorative jewelry delivered to her as a surprise, the young lady had cried until her eyes were bright red, but she recovered by way of a sweet royal milk tea, expressing gratitude to her parents with a sniffling nose. I believed that there were several forms of joy depending on each person, and what I had witnessed today was unmistakably one of them.
Even as we headed to the parking lot where Richard’s jaguar was, the moon followed us from the gaps between the buildings. As I walked while looking up and repeating, “It’s really pretty, so pretty”, Richard seemed exasperated.
“‘The moon is beautiful’, huh. Are college students not familiar with anecdotes of their own country’s literary figures nowadays?”
“Don’t they read that stuff? I’m in the faculty of economics, so there’s lots of people with names written in horizontal characters on our textbooks. Like Marx Weber or Mankiw.”
“What about Futabatei Shimei or Natsume Souseki?”
“I’ll ask you back: have you read them?”
“Yes.”
Uwah. As I cried out, the gorgeous jeweler sighed. “Honestly, today’s youths,” he said.
I ended up laughing at him without thinking.
“What is it?”
“You say ‘youths’ but you’re pretty young yourself.”
“I merely disagree with the worldwide trend of thinking that classical literature is an enjoyment for old age. The world, matured by the various interpretations of our ancestors, is deep and wide-ranging, as well as something that envelopes our hearts, just like stones.”
“Feels like the part where stones come up is ‘just as expected of Richard-san’.”
“I will take that as a compliment.”
“I am complimenting you. I have the feeling that I get smarter when we talk.”
“For you to be the kind who is satisfied with just ‘having a feeling’, my existence must be a harmful one.”
“I shall take this to heart... Aah, by the way, in sociology or some other class, I heard that the phrase ‘had a feeling’ has increased too much in pop music. Why is that? I guess it’s because, when they assert, ‘I can be strong!’ instead of, ‘I have the feeling I can be strong, I find myself inwardly wanting to retort with a, ‘Nope, nope, it’s not like that’ and the mood cools off.”
“Unfortunately, I have not studied the trends of modern Japan’s younglings. But if we are to speak of such things, even the power invoked by stones is a matter of ‘having a feeling’.”
“Is it okay for a jeweler to be saying that?”
“We are already out of business hours. Besides, this is not a negative subject in particular.”
Having arrived at the parking lot, Richard glanced at me and folded his arms lightly. He was a beautiful man from the top of his head to the tips of his toenails, like a doll made of moonlight. I was used to looking at his figure, but beautiful things will be beautiful. I could look at him without ever getting tired and it would put me in a good mood, just like the moon.
“W-What? What’s up?”
“I mean that people can become strong just from ‘having a feeling’. The power of belief is namely the force of human beings who seek hope even in a small gleam. Is that not a wonderful thing? On nights like these, when we ‘have the feeling’ that we are being protected by the light of the moon, people are sure to be in some sort of calm mood.” Saying this, as if to copy me or something, Richard looked up at the night sky above the buildings of Ginza and murmured, “The moon is truly beautiful.” He then smoothly got on the jaguar’s driver seat. I followed him on the passenger seat.
Still, this car’s seat base did an exquisite inclination no matter how many times I sat on it. It felt like a chair sticking to your body.
“Well, are you okay with dropping off at Takadanobaba?”
“Thank you. By the way, should I reply with the ‘I could die now’ already?”
Richard’s face at that moment was a spectacle. His mouth and beautiful eyebrows distorted as if to say, “Haah?”. His eyes stared dangerously at me.
“I mean, isn’t that the context? Futabate Shimei and Natsume Souseki, right?”
“I love you”.
Apparently, the literary masters of the Meiji Era had racked their brains about to how to translate a sentence that didn’t originally exist in the Japanese language. This would be a standard drinking party talk. Well, I didn’t know if there was a standard for all kinds of drinking parties, but just recently, during a drinking party we held with a group of men from the Department of Letter’s Faculty of Japanese Literature, we got fired-up over that topic. “Girls like this kind of talk, so you guys from the Faculty of Economics should also keep it in mind every once in a while,” they told us. Futabate Shimei used “I could die now” as a code for “I am yours” and Natsume Souseki used the anecdote “the moon is beautiful, isn’t it” as what was claimed to be a good anecdote for “I love you”. We were thankful for the trivia. That being said, none of the members who attended the drinking party had girlfriends, so I had thought there would be no opportunity to use this trivia, but to my surprise...
Richard, who had been stiff for a moment, exhaled with a loud “haaah” and turned the engine key. The body of the iron machine shuddered.
“That was terrifying.”
“So even you got freaked out! I can say some Japanese-like things too.”
“I will proceed to kick you if you say the same thing again. Be quiet for the time being.” Richard pulled the car out of the parking lot from backward, and as he stepped onto the accelerator and we got out into the street, the car trundled on with us in silence for a while. After we had passed four or five buildings, the beautiful jeweler opened his mouth again, “These words are not meant to be spoken lightly. A sentence taken out of context is like a lonely stone removed from a bracelet. In what kind of situation did people say, ‘The moon is beautiful’ or under what circumstances did they think, ‘I could die now’? What matters is the process until things arrived to that point, and not scraps of words. In the past, during the times when the people of this country were not as filled with imported mentalities as they are now, they probably understood this very well.”
“Hey, why’d you think of reading Natsume Souseki?”
Richard didn’t respond. I’d known for a while now that there were lots of things this guy didn’t want to answer, but his silence at the question was unexpected. Was something up?
Something related to moments when he might feel like saying things such as “the moon is beautiful” or “I could die now”.
It was clearly not a topic that I should pry too much about. Pretending to have found something interesting out the window, I put on a smile with no particular connotation. Leaning my body against the window, I looked up at the sky. “Ah, I can still see the moon.”
“You do not say. Is it beautiful?”
“Yup, but you’re more beautiful.”
Richard’s hand instantaneously glided in a swift motion. He pressed the car stereo switch. What played at an explosively loud volume wasn’t the Finnish rock that I had listened to before. It was a sutra in an ethnic-sounding female voice. That was all I could say. What was this? As I asked in a loud voice what language that song was in, he said it was Bengali. Was it an Indian song then? I couldn’t talk to him unless I shouted in one breath.
“HEY! IF I PISSED YOU OFF, SERIOUSLY, I’M SORRY!”
Richard’s mouth moved in the form of an “I cannot hear you”. It seemed he wasn’t in the mood for conversation. But he didn’t look angry. The corners of his lips were smiling just slightly. Like he wanted to say that this was so stupid it made him laugh. He appeared a lot more relaxed than when listing up the names of those literary figures, so I became kinda happy.
When I got out of the car, the southern country atmosphere was gone at once. At the roundabout in Takadanobaba, Richard took off with the jaguar as soon as he said goodbye. As the same old habit, for whatever reason, I ended up watching him off until I couldn’t see him anymore.
As I looked up the blue moon was floating in the black sky, unchanged. This was also a matter of “having a feeling”, but this emotion I was feeling today at this moment was a definite form of happiness too.
Honestly, the moon was beautiful tonight.
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canary3d-obsessed · 4 years
Text
Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 07 part one
(Masterpost)
Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!
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Clan Sanren
Lanny Granny gets a second wind and continues her Yin Iron Webinar.
Wei Wuxian explains that although he was adopted by the Jiang Clan, Baoshan Sanren is his grandmaster, via his mom. Lan Yi claims to think that this is pretty great.
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Lan Yi: Wow, amazing, my ex girlfriend who I dumped has settled down and started her own family Clan now, that’s so great. I’m so happy for her. So happy. So great. I mean, when I left I didn’t really picture her finding happiness first, you know? I kind of expected to have settled down myself by now but it’s hard to date when you’re trapped in an ice cave putting headbands on rabbits for 100 years. But it’s fine! I love my life and I’m sure eventually I’ll find that special rabbit person.  Anyway I’m just...SUPER happy for Baoshan. Really. Really happy. For Baoshan. 
Lan Wangji also appears to have thoughts about it, because he reacts pretty intently.
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 Lan+Sanren 4EvR. 
Wang Yibo is looking extra fine in this cave sequence, with no headband to distract from his fierce eyebrows.  
Lan Wangji asks Lan Yi if she’s the one who pulled them into the cave, and she says nope, and then nobody ever explains how they ended up in the cave. “Perhaps it’s destiny” does not count as an explanation. 
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Lan Gran explains that her battery is running down. The Lan bunnies are not energizer bunnies, apparently. She also tells them that it’s impossible to destroy the Yin Iron and that the only solution is to put it back in the cave and try to suppress it again. 
(more after the cut)
However by Episode 23 it inexplicably becomes super easy to destroy the Yin Iron...
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...meaning Lan Yi spent 100 years in a cave for nothing, other than writing the Definitive Guide to Rabbit Headbands. 
Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji get back into Hardy Boys cultivator mode, but this time with an extremely long held gaze, which I think is their first time doing this.
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I mean...even if these boys are 100% neurotypical (and hello, they are not), this is a LOT of eye contact. I can't gaze that long at anything except my phone screen. 
We Will Achieve The Thing Together
Narrator: they will not achieve the thing
The reason I got into c-drama in the first place is, after decades of western storytelling tropes, it’s so refreshing to watch a story and have literally no idea what’s going to happen. Even when the story sets things up to happen a certain way according to my learned experience of stories, it just doesn’t play out that way. For example, if you’re watching The Lost Tomb Reboot and you expected the jade-mining sequence to end with a slave uprising, you were as surprised as I was. 
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Here Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian promise to do their best to find and suppress the Yin iron. Lan Wangji is going to fail at this, allowing this here piece to fall into the hands of the Wens, because unlike his uncle he's not willing to let his clan die to protect it.  
Wei Wuxian is going to take his not-doing-the-thing several steps further, finding and refining his very own piece of extra-badass Yin iron. Yes, he has reasons for this and a lot of stuff happens along the way, but in terms of your typical quest storyline, it would be as if Frodo figured out how to use the one ring to kick Sauron’s ass, rather than (with help) destroying it. Again: this is why I LIKE c-drama. 
Lan Wangji tries to shut Wei Wuxian out of his quest and Wei Wuxian makes a short but utterly character-defining speech. 
You can’t stop me
I know what’s right. 
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And then he says that his Grandmaster Baoshan Sanren was isolated because of the Yin Iron, and he has a responsibility to her. Lan Yi agrees. So...he just kinda quit the Jiang Clan right there, didn’t he? In favor of eventually becoming a wandering cultivator like his Grandmaster and clan uncle (Xiao Xichen), and like his mother. 
He is also going to follow in his father’s footsteps by upsetting his Clan Leader when he falls in love. Gosh, he also, like his parents, will die and leave an orphan to fend for himself. So -- the apple doesn't fall far from the tree I guess.
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He doesn't realize the pickle he’s getting himself into, of course. Being Wei Wuxian, he thinks he can balance all of his increasing obligations, but being human, he won’t be able to. 
Pardon Our Entwinement
Lan Yi leaves to catch the spiritual plane, the Yin iron drops, the ward breaks, and Wen Ning appears to download a new software update. The kind that breaks your video driver and photoshops your eyeballs.  
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Wen Qing comes nosing around the cave wall, and Jiang Cheng stops by to ask what she’s up to. 
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He hopes she’s trying to find his brother, just like he will fail to do for her & her brother one day.  
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The boys fall out of the wall together, in a nice example of the “oops I’m accidentally humping you” c-drama romance trope. To keep it censor-friendly, Wei Wuxian is actually on the ground next to Lan Wangji’s right knee but the shot is framed so that at a glance he appears to be in a much cozier position. 
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Lan Wangji goes on an expression journey don’t say facial through several “oh shit we’re caught” faces, while Wei Wuxian shows Lan Wangji a few iterations of his oh-face. 
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Jiang Cheng wants to know what the fuck they have been getting up to for a day and a night. 
The movie wasn't so hot, it didn't have much of a plot, we fell asleep our goose is cooked our reputation is shot
Wen Qing detects that they were somewhere cold and decides it’s her turn to ask nosy questions. Lan Wangji does the guilty startle thing. 
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Fortunately Wei Wuxian doesn’t have that problem.
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He turns his answer into a prolonged whine about how cold it was, how lost they were, etc. This annoys Jiang Cheng into dropping it and saying they should head back. 
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I’m awesome right? so awesome right?
Wei Wuxian gives Lan Wangji a significant look to show that he’s deploying a rhetorical strategy on purpose to distract his questioner. Lan Wangji super does not know how to do that. 
Flute + Yin Iron = Profit
Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji get to watch as Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen tame the hunk of iron and stick it in the bag of holding. Wei Wuxian pays verrrryyy careful attention to this whole “use a flute to control the Yin iron” lesson. 
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Lan Xichen really should reconsider his music-lessons side hustle. Arguably this one doesn’t turn out as badly for him personally as teaching guqin to Jin Guangyao does, but it doesn’t turn out great, either. 
知己啊  - zhi-ji-ah
This mostly-tedious Yin Iron conversation with the elders includes a super-important WangXian moment.
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Wei Wuxian calls Lan Wangji his zhiji. This is the same word he will use later in the “what am I to you?” conversation during the Jin night hunt, and the word Lan Xichen will use when saying why Lan Wangji wouldn’t repudiate him during his forced isolation. As always, for the full meaning of this word, @hunxi-guilai​ is brills.
A Wen spy bird shows up, and Lan Wangji really wants to chase it, but Lan Xichen says no. 
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This happens a lot, actually. Lan Wangji is not a cool-headed person, despite appearances.  Likewise the boys want to go searching for the Yin Iron and the adults want them to slow their roll. 
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Being a teenager is frustrating, particularly with a classic “I didn’t actually listen to you before making a decision” adult like Lan Qiren in charge. 
Lying is my First Class Spiritual Tool
Nie Huasang shows up and has his usual hilariously varied reaction to Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji - an enthusiastic “Wei-Xiong!” followed by a nervous & meek “Lan Er Gongzi” and a bow to Lan Wangji.  
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He wants to know what happened and Wei Wuxian once again shows his powers of rhetoric. 
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I like to call it my “devil snake.” 
He puts off all of Nie Huaisang’s potential questions by really knowing his questioner well and completely distracting him.  
This time Lan Wangji seems impressed. 
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Jelly Jiang Cheng
Young Master Cockblock shows up and lets loose with a display of total naked jealousy. That carving on Wei Wuxian’s bed back in Lotus Pier...is that him and Jiang Cheng? Because damn, this boi is jealous. 
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...and so is Lan Wangji, apparently, or at least he’s disappointed to have Wei Wuxian taken away from him like that.  
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Yearn Mode Enabled
Club Ruohan’s Foyer
Wen Chao and Xue Yang stand awkwardly in Wen Ruohan’s vestibule talking to the boss through a giant door, because sure, why not. 
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This doesn’t bother Xue Yang, who as usual has no fucks to give. Except that today, Wen Ruohan tells him that the budget for his project finally got approved, which lifts his spirits quite a bit. 
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His project to single-handedly slaughter an entire clan, and he is super excited about the kickoff meeting. 
Wen Chao is mopey because his brother gets all the good murder assignments and his dad doesn’t appreciate him. Boo fucking hoo. 
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Periodic reminder that He Peng looks like this when he’s not playing Wen Chao.
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Part 2 coming soon!
Soundtrack: Wake Up, Little Susie by the Everly Brothers
Bonus
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bangchanshehe · 3 years
Text
The Vacation pt. 5
Summary: You always had a fantasy of hooking up with a perfect stranger while on vacation, and what better place to make that happen than Cabo San Lucas? A bachelorette party was already supposed to be wild and unforgettable, so why not take it up a notch?
Pairing: Sehun X OC X Kai
Word Count:2.5k
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Once you were back inside of the club you made a b-line straight to your friends and crossed your arms, in hopes that no one would try to approach you to dance for the rest of the night.
You didn’t know why you had allowed for these two men to ruin your entire night. You had no idea who they were less than 24 hours ago so they weren’t important, but the fact that you had to hang around them for the rest of the evening until you got back to the hotel rubbed you the wrong way.
You let out a long sigh and unfolded your arms allowing them to hang freely at your sides.
Let it go… you silently told yourself. You allowed yourself to have a few more moments of self-pity before you drank the rest of your drink and left the glass on a random booth. You rejoined the rest of your friends as the danced in a circle and within a few minutes you had completely forgotten about your conversation a few moments ago. The heat of the floor and your friends celebrating amongst themselves had snapped you back into the present moment.
“here’s to getting married!” your best friend said loud enough for you to barely hear over the beat of the club and the rest of you cheered.
You went back to dancing by yourself but your friend had slipped her arms around you and shouted questions to you in your ear
“what happened with the hottie you were just dancing with?” she asked you
You gave her a look of disappointment before answering her “I don’t want to talk about it and ruin the mood”
She pulled away and gave you a look of shock before her eyes connected with someone in the crowd.
“time to go!” she screamed making sure that all of the girls were together before she took your hand and started pushing through the crowd to make it to the front door, and you willing allowed her to lead the way through the bodies that loitered the dance floor.
As soon as you were back into the fresh street air you had heard screams coming from random pedestrians outside on the streets and coming from clubs next door. You stared at the confused as to what was happening, until the guys that you had come to the clubs with started yelling to one another and scrambling inside of the vans.
You and your friends looked back and forth to one another, wondering if anyone had a clue as to what was going on.
“y/n! get in the van fast!” sehun yelled to you and without a second thought you immediately pulled your friend towards the van.
All of you sat inside in pure silence while the chaos continued to ensue outside. You could see multiple people with their phones out snapping photos and taking videos. Several girls were jumping up and down and screaming to the boys in your van and in the one directly in front of yours. It wasn’t until you had heard someone mention sehun and kai’s name directly that you were starting to get a hint as to what was happening.
Quickly the vans doors were shut and the driver started the car, pulling out into traffic and driving like his life depended on it.
“what’s going on?” one of your friends asked still completely confused.
You turned your head to Sehun and watched as he continued to sit in his seat quietly with an upset expression. You hadn’t really noticed it all night since you had paid so much attention to Kai all evening, but he really was a handsome man. His sharp jawline, flawless skin, amazing hair and style… his body was fit and the boy could really dance.
“are you guys celebrities or something?” you asked him quietly hoping that you would get a response if you didn’t make a big deal out of it.
He silently turned his head and the two of you stared at each other for a moment. You looked at his face and took his handsome facial features in while he looked back and forth in-between your eyes as if he was gauging how much he could trust you to keep his answer confidential.
He didn’t say anything but instead gave you a single head nod in confirmation. He looked down as if he was scared and embarrassed and you decided not to question him any further. You nodded your head as you put the pieces together and then faced forward, paying attention to the road instead of forcing Sehun to feel awkward.
As soon as the vans pulled into the gated hotel lot the boys filed out and immediately began to talk amongst themselves. You eyed them for a moment before you turned to your friends.
“ready for bed?” you asked them and they all smiled back at you with a dangerous grin. “what?” you asked back slightly scared
Your best friend wrapped her arm around you and began walking with you… or better yet guiding you back to the open bar located next to the pools. “y/n, since our bar hop was cut short why don’t we stay out and enjoy the night air a little longer?” she asked with a sweet tone.
You gave her a looking that ready seriously… but instead of arguing that you needed to go to sleep you gave in and followed along with their plans. You all took a seat at the bar and ordered a drink and while you waited you talked amongst yourselves. But in the corner of your eyes you saw the boys filing in the hallway to wait for an elevator to take them up to their rooms.
You had made eye contact with sehun and he gave you a small head bow before he stepped into the elevator and disappearing from your sight.
“earth to y/n” your best friend said as she waved a hand in front of your face drawing you back into your conversation. “so what happened with that other guy tonight?” she asked you making the rest of the girls chime in and focus on what you had to say
“nothing really… I mean I asked him what was up with him and Kai because they had both been staring daggers at each other all night. and he had pretty much told me that Kai was upset because he’s possessive of who he has his eyes on and it made him upset that I had danced with someone else.” You explained quietly hoping that the other pedestrians enjoying their night wouldn’t have to hear any of your drama.
The rest of the girls gave you grimaces and looked at each other as they processed what you had said.
“damn girl… he had only known you for one day and he was all kinds of caught up on you.” One of the girls says laughing
You shook your head in disbelief at the whole situation… or rather the whole day. What a roller coaster.
“aww he must have really liked you” your best friend said to you quietly while she pushed your hair over your shoulder
“it doesn’t matter if he liked me. It doesn’t give him the right to treat people like shit just because he’s being pouty. Plus the guy is still a total stranger.” You chimed back in
The girls all nodded their head and sipped on their drinks before they fell back into the conversations that they were having.
The next morning you were woken up by a loud series of knocking at your door. You groaned as you peeled your eyes open and rubbed the morning puffiness out of them. You glanced over at the clock on the bedside table and let out a sigh when you saw that it was almost 10am. It was a good thing that you were woken up so that you could still get some breakfast before the morning service was over.
You looked over to your roomate’s bed and saw that she was already up and out of the room. That was probably her or one of your other friends coming to get you before everything was shut down. So without a second thought you got up and opened the door.
“good morning” you said through a yawn as you stretched, letting your night gown ride up your thighs.
“good morning”
You heard the voice of a man and you immediately looked up at him through your sleepy eyes. You panicked and shut the door on sehun who stood out in the hallway unsure of what to do next.
“give me a minute” you said through the door before you threw yourself into the bathroom.
You looked at your appearance and groaned. You had no makeup on, you hair was a complete and total mess and you were wearing one of your more risker night gowns. You forced your hairbrush through your hair in an attempt to tame to knotted mess and put a bathrobe on over your gown. It wasn’t anything close to perfect but it would do for now.
You walked over to the door once more and checked outside the peephole, seeing a bored Sehun staring down at his shoes while he waited for you to open the door back up. You let out a final deep breath and then opened the door giving sehun an apologetic smile for forcing him to wait on you.
“sorry” you said softly not making any eye contact
Sehun smirked, giving you a half smile “its okay… can I come in and talk?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.
You looked back in your room and saw how messy it was but let out a sigh when you didn’t see any other option other than allowing him in. “sure” you said unconvincingly
You opened the door wider for him to enter and then shut it behind him inwardly screaming at yourself for being such a slop. Not only was he in your dirty ass room but he also saw you looking like a dirty ass mess. You stood awkwardly by your bed as he waited for you to sit or stand with him and you slowly and awkwardly took a seat on your bed as you waited for him to continue talking.
“you can sit down if you’d like” you said gesturing to the desk chair that was tucked into the desk right behind him.
He pulled it out and then sat down directly in front of you. He looked down at the carpet before he cleared his throat and looked back up to you. “I wanted to thank you for not making a scene last night in the van…” he started and then wet his lip with his tongue “the other men who I am here with and I are celebrities from South Korea and we are here to enjoy a quiet vacation. I-“
“wow” you said cutting off his next sentence and he gave you an tight lipped smile
“we would greatly appreciate it if you would keep what happened last night a secret…. As I said we are just trying to enjoy a vacation and it would be problematic for us if people found out where we are.” He continued “and I wanted to ask that you please don’t upload any photos with any of us in the background.”
You looked at him while he spoke to you and you couldn’t help but notice his lack of eye contact while he asked favors from you. He had looked genuinely concerned and nervous to even be here alone with you, and you started to feel bad for him.
“you don’t have to worry about anything.” You said with a soft voice and a small smile hoping that he would feel slightly more at ease. “I didn’t say anything to my friends and frankly I think that they were too drunk to really realize what was happening last night anyways. But ill make sure that none of you are in any photos that we’ve taken or take in the future.”
Sehun let out a deeply held breath and you could see his shoulders visibly curve in and relax. You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at seeing how wired up and concerned he was before you had agreed to everything. He looked up at you with one eyebrow raised again, confusion in his eyes.
“what’s so funny?” he asked you
“nothing” you said shaking your hand “you just seemed so worried that when I agreed your whole body completely changed.” You confessed
“oh” was all that he said before he straightened back up
“if you don’t mind me asking….” You said looking up at him and he widened his eyes “how famous are you guys for people to be recognizing you in Mexico and freaking out?”
Sehun let out a small scoff and then smiled up at you “Not to sound like a douche… but in Asia we are a pretty big deal.” He answered and your eyes lit up
You looked him over again and noticed that even though he was dressed in pretty simple clothes his shorts and his shirt were designer brand and his shoes were Balenciaga’s. the watch that he was wearing was a gold Rolex and you were sure that anyone that looked that good and dressed that nicely had to be filthy rich. You shook your head in amazement as you stared at him and when you finally made eye contact with him again he was smiling softly at you.
“as a thank you for helping us keep this secret my members and I would like to invite you and your friends out with us today. We will be taking a private boat at to sea and swimming, fishing, snorkeling… you name it.” He said
Your eyes went wide and your mouth dropped. You immediately started laughing like a lunatic and you smiled at sehun who looked slightly confused as if he had missed a joke. You clapped your hands together and started to laugh harder at sehun’s expression and when you calmed down you coughed to clear your throat.
“I would love to, but I would need to ask my friends first. I have no idea what they have planned for today.” You said and sehun nodded his head “if you wait a minute for me to get changed I can go down and ask them since they’re probably all down stair having breakfast.”
Sehun gave you a small head nod and you smiled at him while you stood up and gathered some clothes out of your suitcase. You quickly walked to the bathroom and changed into your clothes, snickering to yourself like you had gone completely insane. The girls were going to have a field day when they heard that you had scored them such an exciting offer.
It was going to be your girls and you, the ocean and 9 of the finest men at this resort on a private boat…. Oh shit…. That also included Kai.
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“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”
Fanonwriter2023 on AO3
Where CANON and FANON collide!
Season 7 FANON Speculation
Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading
Chapter 7 is now available on AO3.
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“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”
Currently 7 chapters completed: 154.8K words Rated: Mature
One chapter will be posted at a time.
___________
Here’s a snippet from one of Buck’s and Eddie late night conversations included in chapter 7. ___________
After several minutes of silence, Buck clears his throat and asks, “Do you ever think about how… it’s not worth it?”
It’s like déjà vu as realization sets in for Eddie because they’ve had this conversation before but their roles were reversed and the question hits him in the chest like a boulder has been dropped on top of it.  As he looks at him, he tries to keep his facial expression neutral but he’s not sure if Buck even notices since he quickly glances at him then looks away.
“Not the therapy. I—I mean…”  He runs his hand over his face and continues. “Is being born even worth it?”  He meets Eddie’s eyes.  “I mean with all the crap we have to put up with when… dealing with our parents… or in my case the people who brought me into this world.”
Eddie doesn’t interrupt but he does raise his eyebrows.
Buck clears his throat and nervously rubs his sweaty hands on his thighs to dry them on his pants.  “I wanted them to love me but they’ve always had their own selfish reasons for bringing me into the world so…”  He trails off.
A loud and uncomfortable silence engulfs the room.
Then after a few seconds, in a low voice, Buck continues.  “Maybe things would have been better if I was never born.”  He shrugs his shoulders.  “I mean my defective parts prevented me from being able to do the one thing I was born to do and since I couldn’t do that… I’m just wondering what’s the point of it all since I wasn’t meant to be here in the first place.”
Eddie’s heart shatters at Buck’s words because after all these years, he still hasn’t realized how important he is to them.  Not just to him and Chris but to Maddie, Bobby and the 118 since they all need him.
He’s trying to think of the best way to respond so Buck will understand he’s needed and wanted but before he has the chance to, Buck stands up and says, “Sorry… I should take a shower and go back to bed because it’s late”.
___________
Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.
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Chapter Summaries
Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.
Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.
Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.
Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.
Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.
Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.
Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.
__________
Read chapters 1-7 are available on AO3.
Continue reading on AO3
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haikyuuvbc · 3 years
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Do You Comma Here Often? Chapter 22: I’d Like to See It
     193 episodes, 4 movies, approximately 4800 minutes. That’s how much of InuYasha you’ve consumed over the last two months. It took dedication, patience, and a tolerance for how many times you could handle Bokuto moving around incessantly during the several hours you would spend in the living room shared by him and Akaashi. This weekly tradition was weird to begin with. At the start of it, you sat wedged between Tobio and Hajime, but throughout all the weekends the only consistent attendees were you, Bokuto, and Akaashi. It was because of this that starting Week 3 of the event, the athlete and your advisor were sitting beside you from then on. It was rather frequent that Bokuto would gesture largely, forcing you into Akaashi’s space. One instance was this weekend.
     “We’re DONE?!?” Bokuto asks, flailing his arms outward and to his side, almost coming in contact with your chest had Akaashi not wrapped his arm behind you, grabbing your shoulder and yanking you closer to him. Bokuto’s arm thuds loudly against the back of the couch, making the owlish man pause and realize he almost hit you. “I’M SO SORRY Y/N,” which results in laughter from everyone in the room. 
     “It’s all good, Bo, you missed anyway. But yeah, I’m surprised we got through so many episodes so quickly.” This sentiment was echoed by the other members in the room but it was Akaashi who spoke up next.
     “What series do you want to tackle next?” When you turned your attention to him, you finally realized that you were still heavily leaning on him, and you tried to gracefully return back to your original seat. The blush on your face was not left unnoticed, but no one made a comment. Instead, you turn the question back to him, asking which one he thinks would be best.
     “JoJo’s would be the next beneficial one and you can start reading along to make comparisons. However, I think we should also watch Fruits Basket, the original and the remake that’s happening. It’ll be easy to catch up. Additionally, you seem to like the series enough.” 
     You and Akaashi begin a conversation about if you think your friends would enjoy the series, leaving said friends out of the discussion. Hajime and Tsukki would note that this happened at increasing frequencies over the last several weeks. The more you spent time with your advisor, the more you learned that you had a lot in common from taste in literature (everything he’s recommended manga-wise has become a favorite for you) to movies, music, and even food. The same cannot be said for your group of friends who are now a little bitter about being signed up for another several weeks of anime. 
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     After a bit you and Akaashi slowed down your conversation. This only came about when you both realized that no one else in the room was talking but everyone was on their phone. It would have been the perfect time to ask why they were all texting (and who, as their main friends were in the room). But when the man beside you opened his mouth to ask a question, it was not about what everyone was doing.
     “So there is a new movie based on the Violet Evergarden series in theaters next week. I thought it would be fun to go. Is everyone free on Wednesday night?”
     “As far as I know, I am,” is how you respond, looking forward to the movie. You had heard of Violet Evergarden and it was on your to read/watch list.
     “We have practice!” Bokuto and Hinata burst out violently, destroying the silence that was hanging in the air. The forceful way they said it concerned you and Akaashi, both of you gearing up to ask if they were okay when Hajime interrupted.
     “The two of them were goofing off at practice and were given extra drills that they have to do as punishment. I drew the short straw and have to oversee them, so I’m sorry but I can’t come either.”
     “I actually have plans to hang out with Miwa,” was Kageyama’s excuse. Tsukishima’s? Much more straightforward and spared no feelings.
     “I just don’t want to go see it.” You narrow your eyes at Tsukki for his brutally honest comment, you glance around at the group of friends. If it was just your friends making excuses about not being able to go see this movie, you would be suspicious. But since Bokuto, Tsukki, and Hinata also joined in, you were less concerned about the intentions and a bit more focused on the fact that this would be a two person outing. The transition of thoughts going through your head allowed you to miss Akaashi’s facial expressions, which also went from suspicious to accepting, to a tad nervous. You don’t miss the small waver in his voice when he talks next.
     “Wednesday is the only evening that works well for me to see it if you’re still up for it, Y/N.” You’re still relatively close to him, not having moved when the conversation went from the two of you to the whole group. Even though you’re trying to even out your nervous mind, your voice only shows a small hint of nerves when you answer,
“I'd like to see it. Wednesday works for me.”
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elffees · 3 years
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some little additions to the ep 5 endings for low brotherhood
oh this post is going to hurt but i’m doing it anyway. these are just some brainstorms on tweaks to the endings bc for the most part, they all come off as high brotherhood, which is fine for me tbh bc i have never played a LB route cause im Soft™️. but i’m also Curious™️ and thought up some variations that couldve been made for people that did have a LB playthrough
these are mostly tiny changes. nothing too major bc like in canon, i think morality having the highest affect on Cross vs. Surrender is fine, but it would’ve been kinda cool if the epilogues had been tweaked a little to reflect brotherhood also. so possible tweaks i thought of is basically what this post is about.
here’s some:
redemption
(sidenote: okay i said the changes were mostly little and i promise they are. this ending specifically tho just has the most significant ones i’ve made by adding in like 2 extra scenes. but that’s really it)
in this ending things are the same when they reach the road block, including daniel tearing up, until sean says “you’re my brother”. they do not exchange i love yous nor hug or touch foreheads. sean goes straight to “and i know it’s gonna be alright” while keeping an outstretched arm on daniel’s shoulder. daniel also goes straight to his “how do you know”. the car scene plays out the same from then on except without hugging. they mostly stay separately in each other’s seats.
daniel doesn’t panic and jump to his feet when the police start walking sean to the car. he stands up resigned and watches sadly but quietly. sean doesnt say anything as he gets in the car but does look back at daniel before they pull off
in the collage, there is still a picture of daniel visiting sean in prison, but they don’t hug and just speak tensely across from one another.
daniel doesn’t come on the day of sean’s release, karen is the only default. now, like lyla, daniel is a determinant. (imagine if they were all determinant and even karen didn’t come meaning sean could get out of jail with nobody in the world caring about him jesus christ) there’s a scene with sean afterwards visiting daniel’s apartment. when daniel opens the door, he’s shocked and slams a palm to his forehead, clearly having forgot sean’s release date.
there’s small polite smiles on their faces as they greet each other at the door, but sean never makes it past the front steps. their conversation is brief before daniel gestures that he actually was walking out and has to go. they say their goodbyes with a casual hug (quick back slap) before daniel hops in his car using his power and pulls off with sean watching.
sean still goes back to their first campsite but alone. it mostly plays out the same where he still cries, but with no comfort, and then drives away towards the right after taking one last look at the trail
the epilogue ends with daniel stepping out of his car and approaching faraway friends that he waves to. they’re drawn vague and out of focus to save on production costs (don’t worry dontnod i gotchu). the angle of the scene shifts so it looks like daniel is walking off towards the left
summary (1/2) -> sean took the heat in order to let daniel have a childhood in america. and he succeeds in this, but because their relationship was poor, during his incarceration their bond practically turns to dust. daniel gets a childhood, but sean loses his own and his brother in return
summary (2/2) -> sean still wants some kind of relationship with his brother, but its awkward and distant. daniel does not hate sean. he holds some semblance of polite respect for him bc in his HM!eyes sean “did the right thing” at the end of their journey. but overall, they are not that close and are more like acquaintances who just worked on a group project one time.
blood brothers
sean doesn’t say “be careful” before daniel gets out the car. just “you know what to do”
they don’t hold hands after daniel’s massacre. daniel just stares out the window while sean focuses ahead
(after the 6 years) when sean backs into the garage and daniel sees he’s being held at gunpoint, daniel doesn’t do anything at first. he doesn’t even move forward to get a better look. he simply watches the scene play out until the gang members notice he’s there, bc sean keeps glancing his way, and they begin to threaten him too. that is when he uses his powers.
sean giving daniel a pat on the shoulder? yeah in this LB version it’s now a shove. he noticed that daniel did not have his back. daniel just shrugs.
he still heads out to their patio and takes a seat. the scene is angled so that the player sees sean over daniel’s shoulder think about joining him, wanting to go smoke, with their dad’s lighter already out so we still see it. but he instead waves his hand dismissively and turns back into the shop.
daniel stares out towards the beach alone.
summary -> they gain freedom and escape to mexico, but their relationship is empty. there’s no polite respect, but there’s no outright animosity either. it’s just….. empty.
lone wolf
daniel doesn’t say the “it’s my turn to take care of us” line (omg it was so good tho). it’s now smthg along the lines of “i won’t let you stop me here after all this”
when saying the “we made it” set of lines, he’s still happy but also boastful, ready to hold it over sean that he was right
he doesn’t cry. instead of sobbing over the death of his brother, he is more shocked bc of how unexpected it is. he still calls out for sean’s name frantically, but does not get distraught afterwards. instead of leaning onto sean’s arm like he does in canon, after it sinks in that sean’s dead, he only grimaces while sitting uncertainly in his seat
the pictures stay the same
when sitting on the beach and looking over the ocean, he is not drawing in sean’s journal. he still has a small smile on his face but we also see him taking swigs of the beer can(?) here instead of later
also instead of a teardrop tattoo, he has a tattoo of 3 dots. the teardrop has several meanings, including death of a loved one or crime affiliation. but bc a lot of players interpreted it as being a tear for sean, then i think it’s preferable to just not have it in the LB version at all to avoid confusion and just have him with the 3 dots to make it clear it’s solely part of the gang/crime lifestyle
(moving on) daniel heads over to sean’s memorial and it is absolutely not as decorated as it is in canon. there is only 1 candle and no plants. the brick is still there but instead of a cross, it’s just a hastily laid single wooden plank with sean’s name scribbled down it. there’s no eye patch. the only thing of sentimental value there is their dad’s lighter.
daniel doesn’t sit, he stands looking at the memorial while drinking his beer. he realizes it’s empty tho and lazily litters the can beside sean’s memorial before turning to walk off and as he does he sees the gang.
most of their interaction plays out the same, but while daniel’s walking away instead of sparing the group, it’s clear he kills them as they are all unmoving, us seeing the dude with the gun flop to the ground over daniel’s shoulder. this change is bc personally i interpreted daniel sparing them as a sortve homage to sean’s high morality in this route. as in he’ll still do what needs to be done to survive, but will try to kill as little as possible out of respect for sean’s beliefs. so being as though daniel does not value sean as much in this LB version, he doesn’t care about that and kills them without thought.
summary -> for the most part, daniel still has the relatively content life he does in canon except, going by the now bare minimum memorial and littering, he doesn’t value sean’s memory nearly as much as he does in HB. sean’s death was ofc still a shock and smthg he still remembers, but it didn’t crush him like it does HB!daniel, and he honestly feels more annoyance than regret. in his LM!eyes, hes disappointed and thinks its a little stupid that sean wanted to switch gears at the border like that. he doesn’t hate him tho, he just sees sean as a disappointing memory.
parting ways
at the border daniel still cries, but instead of saying sorry to sean he says “i can’t do this sean. i have to go”, making it extra clear he’s not crying bc it’s the end, he’s crying bc of the damage he does not want to do.
he still says the “i hope you’ll be happy” line, but instead of being genuine it’s now full of disappointment with a twinge of bitterness
you know that quick angry facial expression he has before he’s walked off by the cops? WELL HOWDY IT DEFINITELY STAYS
the picture collage still shows him having a relatively happy upbringing with stephen, claire, and chris
when he’s on the phone at the reynolds’ and claire comes up to him, he’s still smiling and content. when he gets the letter with no sender name, his smile drops after taking the pic out and realizing who it’s from. the player doesn’t see yet tho. emphasis on 1 pic bc it’s not several like it is in canon/HB.
daniel rolls his eyes and with his power tosses the envelope & photo card (no sand btw) across the room so they land on a distant table. the camera zooms in on them and we finally see it’s of sean in mexico.
when claire comes back into the room, she halts seeing the mail and picks them up, glancing between them and daniel regretfully before sitting down
we go back to daniel and with arms crossed, he glances out at the tree in the yard for a brief moment before walking away
the scene stays focused on the tree and we still zoom out to the Wolf Brothers carving, except it has a not-recent slash cut through it
summary -> daniel gets a childhood in america and sean gets his freedom in mexico, but their relationship is destroyed. daniel doesn’t approve of sean’s final decision at all and holds little to no respect for him. sean sends the post card bc, like in redemption, he still wishes to hold some kind of relationship, but he doesnt try all that hard and doesn’t miss daniel that much to send several pics and a chunk of sand.
and so these were some of my ideas for low brotherhood endings! i tried to put them in order from most positive (minute respect) to most negative (outright disdain). i’d love to hear thoughts on this or if anyone wants to add to these, then that’s fine to! just don’t break my heart pls
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goonlalagoon · 3 years
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A smile in your heart (no better place to start) || Second Star to the Left
Read on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33459862
(Spoilers through to end of ep 10 ahead)
It’s been weeks - months - and Bell’s thought about what they could say, when they’re finally on the ground and face to face with Gwen for the first time. Thank you, that’s a strong contender; they know themselves well enough to know they’re more likely to go with how did you do it? Maybe this time they’ll actually be able to say I love you, though Gwen seems adept at picking it up even when they can’t put the words to it. In their head, they planned for it to be - not dramatic, because they’re supposed to be a fugitive and they don’t want to draw attention, but meaningful. The kind of memory that’s something to think back on with misty eyes and fond words.
Capital-R-Romantic, as Gwen termed it so long ago, that first grudging conversation.
What they actually say is,
“Wow, you really do have a great jawline.”
It’s…admittedly not the worst thing they’ve ever said to someone they have a crush on, but that isn’t exactly the metric Bell wanted to measure this by. They’re standing just feet away from each other, drinking each other in. The silence starts to shade awkward before Gwen swallows, shrugs, gives a shaky smile. Bell remembers a letter, one of the first, remembers reading the clouds are all blurry and the twisting mix of regret and guilty relief, because they didn’t want Gwen to be upset but they couldn’t help but cling onto the fact that she was, that someone was upset on their behalf.
“Well, I never got to see your school graduating photos, so I had no expectations of your jawline, Bell, but hey! It’s a pretty good one too, so congratulations!”
Gods, they’ve missed that laugh.
Someone interrupts them then, of course, because the settler ship has just landed and scout Hartley is very much in demand by everyone, not just Bell. There’s a whole crew of people looking to start a new life, and all of them need their scout to tell them what to do, where to go, what to watch out for. They wave a forlorn goodbye, find a place to sit and idly look around, trying to match this new settlement (very new, scout Summers could probably gauge to the day when these buildings were set up by the wear and tear, even after all this time) to every overheard exploit they’d listened in on over the years.
Gwen had moved the settlement into the trees, combined the natural firebreak with dug trenches to add a layer of defence. There’s a clear track that Bell would bet leads straight to water by the quickest route, an escape path to the coast. They think that perhaps the two of them should put their heads together, figure out emergency bundles for evacuation protocols. Food and water, a spare repair kit for any prosthetics…by the time they find Gwen again, hours of running around helping the settlers - the other settlers - move in, Gigo has a whole list stored. Ideas and checks and suggestions that Bell got halfway through recording before realising that maybe Gwen already thought of all of this and they no longer needed to jot everything down to cram into their four hour window of contact.
They live on the same planet, now. There’s no limit on contact, except that the first several months after settlement are absolute chaos for the scout, and from what Bell recalled hadn’t seemed likely to slow down even before the apocalypse threw everything out the metaphorical window.
Maybe with two of them with scout training it’ll be less…just less. Gwen might be able to get if not the mandated six hours of sleep at least enough to average out more at four or five. They weren’t going to comment on it, but it was easy to tell she hadn’t been getting her full rest anyway - probably hadn’t for months, dark circles under her eyes like permanent bruises.
They’re standing awkward feet away from each other again, and Bell knows there’s going to have to be a conversation about that soon, because it hadn’t really occurred to them before that they know a lot of things about Gwen, years and years of stories and rambling conversations, but there’s things you don’t learn without being in person. Personal space, definitions and comfort thereof, the body language and facial expressions to interpret to know what’s welcomed and what isn’t.
“Hey, so, uh…I know there’s a protocol that I’m supposed to follow when my settlers arrive, and all, but there’s something else I want to do instead.” Bell huffs a laugh, steals a shy glance to see Gwen’s answering smirk.
“Another sworn class tradition to fulfil?”
“Nope! We never talked that far ahead except as jokes. We knew the stats, y’know? But - you told me, the first day, that I should watch the sunrise, that that was something I shouldn’t miss, my first morning. And I don’t…we don’t have that, but I’ve had a long time to find my own wonderfully inspiring views of nature here and I wanted - Bell, you haven’t been on a planet for years and you were with me through everything, but you’ve never seen any of it in real life and I want to show you all of it, and I know where to start.”
Bell thinks about muttering about protocol, for the form of it, for the joke that can be dragged out of it, familiar banter, but they decide not to. It’s no longer their job to care about protocol, and anyway the only reason they cared about the protocol was to keep their scouts safe. Gwen is standing right in front of them, leaning gently against Boots with a casually familiar stance - if they pointed it out, Bell knows she wouldn’t even have thought about it. This is just what Gwen does, when she’s standing about with nothing to do with her hands; rests an elbow companionably atop Boots, one foot hooked around a standing leg and balanced on the toe of her boot.
Gwen is standing right there, safe and alive and happy, so protocol can sort itself, thanks.
(Bell realises they have their own hands in their pockets, their own casual stance, and wonders if Gwen is noticing that too, drinking in all of the unconcious habits that it would never occur to either of them to verbalise. All the little tics and quirks that don’t translate over a FTL comms.)
It’s not a long walk, and it’s more silent than Bell would have guessed, but it’s comfortable. Novel, really, to not have to narrate things aloud because they can just look and see what Gwen is doing, can point at a bird with a dorsal fin and pause to watch it flutter around rather than try to describe it.
They can’t stop stealing glances sideways, catching Gwen more often than not doing the same, both of them collapsing into giggles about it each time. It’s just so surreal, to be walking side by side, after all this time. It feels like a dream, like one of the stories Gwen tells Boots at night - once upon a time, there were two explorers, setting out through the trees…
The light dances on the waves, well below their cliff edge destination. At some point Gwen must have rolled a fallen log over to act as a bench, because it’s too well placed to be natural and there’s a fire-pit dug and lined with careful stones. Close enough to be cosy, but far away from the treeline itself to be safe. The light is dancing on the waves and the grass is drifting in the breeze, a periwinkle blue that Bell is used to seeing in photos if they thought of it at all. Something that had seemed so wonderful and new, when scout Hartley made her first observations, but had drifted into commonplace. A detail that wasn’t worth mentioning any more.
“One day, I’m going to make a boat and go explore that.” Gwen waves grandly at the horizon; she’s leaning her head on Bell’s shoulder, and Bell has decided that they will happily never move again. The two of them can just stay there, forever, Gwen’s head on their shoulder and the soft whisper of waves below. “Once my settlers are…settled, and can be left without supervision for more than a few hours at a time.”
“Already missing the solitude? Mourning all that lovely peace and quiet?”
“What solitude? I had a very efficient scout minder in my ear, I’ll have you know! I didn’t have time to get used to the peace and quiet before beep, time for another check in. Hartley, have you followed the itinary, Hartley, did you maintain a reasonable sleep schedule, Hartley, have you eaten a balanced meal at your officially directed time selected for nutritional optimisation…”
“I’m honestly surprised that you went for reminding me of my remote presence first rather than protesting that Boots was with you the whole time. And I would also like to ask, in the spirit of enquiry, have you done any of those things without my input?” Gwen shakes with barely suppressed laughter and doesn’t bother answering; Bell tries not to join in, because Gwen’s head is still on their shoulder and they’re still determined not to dislodge it until they really have to. “And…hey, I also told you to go watch the sunrise, and you found this instead. I - when did you find this? You never mentioned a little ocean watching viewpoint.”
“I - uh, set it up a few months ago. I didn’t know if it had worked, or if it had all gone wrong, or - and I spent so long pacing around here and wondering what you’d think of the view…”
“Aw, and you say I’m a romantic.”
“With a capital R, yes, you so are. I’m your favourite person, you said so, it was very romantic.”
“That was possibly the least romantic declaration of love that has ever been given. I congratulated you on your jawline, Gwen, I write poetry in my spare time and that was the best I could come up with. I should have just stopped talking - writing, I don’t even have the excuse of not being able to edit it out, the first bit was fine but I kept rambling.”
“It was romantic and I loved it and I have saved all of your letters in three separate back ups to make sure I don’t lose any of them.”
Bell laughs, curls an arm around Gwen’s shoulders as easy as breathing, and lets themselves relax for what feels like the first time in months. A flock of birds takes off from the trees, darting past them over the cliff edge, setting out over the waves. The sun glints off their feathers, the raised fin, a riot of colour catching the light as they watch, leaning against each other, shoulder to shoulder. Gwen is beaming out at it all, and Bell can feel their cheeks creasing to match.
It isn’t a sunrise, but this - this is something close enough, a snapshot of a new world, a new horizon that they get to learn, the first day of a new life.
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boop-le-snoot · 4 years
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PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 6
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Rating: Explicit.
‼️TW: Reader is EIGHTEEN! Recreational drug use, smoking and alcohol consumption, deeply internalised self-loathing, very questionable moral standards. Daddy kink taken half-seriously. BDSM themes in later chapters - explicit content will come with it's own TWs. FIRST PERSON POV. There's non-explicit smut in this part!
Summary: You're Peter's classmate, a child of rich and famous but uncaring parents. Getting paired up for a lengthy project with the boy was an interesting turn of events and you don't know whether to feel blessed or cursed when you develop, seemingly, a perfectly normal, harmless crush on Tony Stark. Fueled by feelings of inadequacy and boredom, your life spirals out of control - and you're lucky your newfound friends are there to pick up the pieces even if you cannot find it in yourself to believe these amazing human (and not so human) beings voluntarily give you more than a fleeting glance and an offhanded thought. And they brought cake!
A/N: Remember that questionable morals remark? Yea, this chapter is the reason. Y/N, girl, you gotta stop... But at least it's kinda funny. Okay, it's pretty damn hilarious.
Beta read by the lovely and patient @miscmarvelwritings ! She is amazing. I larb her. 💙
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"And then I was like 'No Way!' and he was like 'Totally' and that's how I met Tony Stark," I finished excitedly, opposite a laughing Mr. Davies. The story of how I met Iron Man was a total hit with the teacher and my vigorous mimicking of the facial expressions that described my feelings during the time had my teacher busting a gut something loud. 
"I honestly have some trouble believing that but - hey, what the hell, he's a billionaire superhero, it's basically expected for him to be a little strange," When his laughing fit was over, Mr. Davies reminded me he was, in fact, a psychology doctor. There was serious brain power under that easygoing attitude.
I expected detention to be bearable in his company but Mr. Davies rose above expectations, welcoming me with another cup of tea and some colouring pages. Admittedly, I contemplated stealing some - those mandalas were really captivating.
"Oh, he's strange alright, but nothing I can't handle," I twirled a pencil between my fingers. 
Mr. Davies grinned knowingly, too knowingly for my comfort, and I had no choice but to make a stone face before looking him in the eye. 
He smirked. "So, anything else interesting for you going on?" 
"Nah, not much. Really looking forward to being done with high school and going out into the bigger world, y'know."
"You turned 18 already, right?" I nodded in confirmation. "Maybe get a job, something part-time? OsCorp always hands these leaflets out, they're looking for lab assistants."
I wrinkled my nose. "I don't need a job. Plus, I'm sure Bruce-err, Doctor Banner would smash me if I went to work at OsCorp," I glossed over my slip-up, hoping Mr. Davies would do the same. But no such luck happened.
"Right. Me and Bruce, we actually go way back," He smiled, stirring his tea. I perked up in interest. "We studied psychology together, sat next to each other in half of our classes. It's a shame what happened to him but I hope he's happy now," Mr. Davies was smiling earnestly, looking out of the window where rain had started flowing down on the glass.
"Really? That's cool," I said, lacking anything else to add to his statement.
"He used to skip classes and always lost his glasses even though they'd be on top of his head," My teacher continued. "Banner was actually quite a rowdy student," He added with a smirk.
"Hah, he still routinely loses his glasses, although he wears them on a string around his neck now," I chuckled fondly. Bruce was such a dork.
I chatted with Mr. Davies some more, just casual conversation about everything and nothing in between. His parents were hippies, he had two moms and one dad and according to him, Thor was very overrated. I didn't even notice we were up in each other's space until our knees brushed when Mr. Davies - "Call me Will" - was showing me the pictures of his cats, dog and lizard. I figured that as the hippy child, personal space was kind of a foreign concept to him - and that rang true, I've seen Will give out more shoulder grabs and high fives than anyone else sans the gym teacher.
The clock's ding announced 6 PM and I quickly gathered my things, hastily saying goodbye. I was stopped though.
"If you don't mind a quick stop at my house, I can drop you off. It's pouring buckets outside and I would hate you to get sick," Will spoke casually. 
Technically, I knew he was bending some rules of conduct. But it was also 55° outside and the water coming from the sky was unlikely to be warm. So I caved without any guilty conscience, obediently following Mr. Davies -Will- to the parking lot where a new-ish Jeep Cherokee proudly stood amongst several older, less gently used cars. With New York city traffic being the way it is, I didn't text Bruce yet, fully expecting for the trip to take a whole hour if not more. 
Thankfully the parking gods were merciful and Will managed to find a spot right across his two-story townhouse. "You're welcome to come in if you feel comfortable, I just need to fetch some documents," He said.
And that's where I fucked up. I nodded affirmatively, I followed him through the door and made myself as comfortable as I could on his living room couch. It was a cozy home, his iguana chilled opposite me in it's terrarium and the little mutt that was his dog really reminded me of the atrocity that my parents used to own before they had me. It yipped and yapped, wagging it's bushy tail at me and demanding pets.
The steaming tea mug was dutifully placed in my hand by Will who hopped upstairs immediately after that, skipping steps. I watched the man with a benign stare: he'd removed his sweater and I could see the defined muscles of his back and the admirable backside that he possessed. There was no harm in looking respectfully, right?
I was halfway through my mug when Will came back down, brandishing a truly impressive stack of manila folders, setting it on a nearby table before sitting down on the other end of the couch, maintaining a respectful distance between us. We chatted some more and the more he spoke about his current research, the more passionate he became; by the end of his truly epic description of the effects that anti-depressants have on the learning process of depressed adolescents, I was mesmerized by the way his pink lips formed words.
Sitting with my calves tucked under my butt, leaning against the armrest , I was a goner. He caught my eye, diverting his own stare from my exposed legs to the side, blinking furiously. It calmed my spirits somewhat, knowing that I wasn't the only one affected by the sudden change of atmosphere in the room. My mug landed on the low table with a loud clang as I leaned forward, the sleeves of my sweater accidentally brushing against his leg.
Will cleared his throat and I startled, tilting my head up towards him in confusion. He was staring at me with a mix of fear and delight in his eyes, like a boy preparing for his first kiss. I would have laughed at the absurdity of the situation if the darkness in his stormy grey eyes didn't make my own breath do somersaults somewhere between my lungs and my esophagus.
Fifteen minutes later, both my sweater and my panties were thrown somewhere in the furthest end of the room and those thin lips were making me see stars. For some reason he was convinced I'd had only typical teenage disappointing sex up to this point and was really eager to show me what a grown man can do. I mean, I wasn't complaining, he was really, really good with his mouth - but I didn't have all night, so I flipped the tables and showed off my own oral skills until he had to bodily remove me from his dick and lift me onto it. Every movement felt surreal, like I was living in a dream. Despite my common sense yelling expletives at me, I kissed Will back with twice the heat and none of the finesse, each of us reaching the peak nearly in sync.
"Can I get that ride to the tower now?"
Will let out a decidedly unmanly squeak when he realised where exactly he'd be taking me after we did what we'd done. I smiled at him in hopes of calming down the man but it seemed it came out more predatory. He shivered, his dick twitching within me.
I texted Bruce the same time I was getting into Will's car. My brain was still somewhat in a state of shock and I used the brief moment to tidy up my hair and makeup, taking note of my sex-flushed face. I only hoped I didn't stink like man-sweat and Will's cologne. 
Another realization was startled out of me: that was my first time having had sex without a condom. I was on birth control since I was fourteen so pregnancy wasn't a scare; currently, I was more worried about the mildly uncomfortable, wet feeling in my panties where my teacher's cum had pooled out.
Yikes. That moment Will took a careful monitoring of my facial expression and it took me a lot to keep it somewhere between neutral and happy. Internally, I was freaking the fuck out, torn between horror and incredible arousal.
It morphed into full fledged mortification when I saw Bruce's lab coat from afar, the man standing next to the entrance door. Having had a dumb moment, I texted Banner that a former schoolmate of his was the one giving me a ride and it really shouldn't have been a surprise that Bruce would go downstairs to greet Will.
'Fuck you, you dumbass,' was my approximate train of thought, directed at myself, when all three of us gathered, hiding from the cold rain and the autumn wind under the safety of the roof. Both men shared a brief, warm embrace before Bruce's arm snaked around my waist.
"You go upstairs, okay? I don't want you to get sick," Banner said, eyeing the disastrous weather.
I looked at Will, finding his eyebrow cocked at Bruce's frivolous gesture and a faint flush blossoming on his face. The man shuffled awkwardly, giving me a small wave and a tight-lipped smile before turning his attention back to Bruce. I wished him good night, hastily retreating into the safety of the elevator.
"What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fu-u-uck..." I chanted under my breath, acutely aware of the blossoming bruises on my hips where my teacher held me, the dampness of my underwear. 
The elevator doors opened, revealing the common room couch being occupied by Wanda. Peter, Wanda's brother and the two resident super soldiers setting the table for dinner. Tony was off bickering with Loki and Strange by the coffee maker and Thor was standing outside on the patio, doing something very strange with his hands and his hammer. Was he summoning the shitty weather?! The audacity!
"Hey," Wanda greeted me quietly. Her eyebrows raised upon seeing my face full of perplexed confusion. "You okay?.. Wait, what? Tell me you did not!" As my internal crisis reached its peak, I remembered that a) Wanda is a telepath and b) There were other people in the room.
One ungraceful landing next to her later, I turned my bleary stare onto her. "Oops?" I offered in the way of explanation. What was I supposed to say if I didn't know for myself what the devil possessed me to fuck my social studies teacher after school? He was fucking hot, okay.
The witch smirked, obviously following my defensive internal monologue. "Oops?" Her tone was laced with gleeful sarcasm.
"I'm a human disaster," I groaned, finally caving in and palming my face. Wanda began snickering. "I have zero impulse control," I continued wallowing in self-pity. The redhead just cackled harder.
"I feel so attacked right now," Tony's voice loudly announced the man's presence. I was thankful for the distraction, happy that today, out of all the days, he decided to make the situation about himself. "I am the resident hot mess and nothing you do will change that. Or get out of my tower," He made a dramatic gesture, waving along everybody to the table.
At the dinner table, with Peter on one side of me and Bruce on the other, Wanda's speech was clear. "I think you two are about on the same level, Tony," Her tone was dry. The looks she cast me were cheeky at best and downright gleeful at worst. Not only was she the resident telepath but also, apparently, a huge drama fan.
I, on the other hand, felt like a fish thrown out of water. My mind was still jumping between astounded and horrified like a rabid rabbit and Bruce's excited remark about seeing a former schoolmate only worsened the anxiety. My brain was telling me EVERYBODY knew EVERYTHING whereas in reality, it was only Wanda and it didn't seem like she was upset enough to give up my dirty little secret. If anything, the witch seemed almost impressed. And that dry, mildly interested facial expression only solidified when she put two and two together: my teacher, whom I fucked, also known as Bruce's former study buddy.
"I have some spare sweatpants that might fit you," Wanda directly addressed me as we were finishing up the wonderful chicken roast courtesy of Clint and Bucky. Nobody batted an eye at the sudden exclamation, evidently used to being around someone who could hear their thoughts. 
I nodded, mentally waving a big, red thank you note. With sparkles. And hearts. Wanda chuckled.
"Hey, did you change your perfume?" Peter's innocent remark made me nearly freeze in my spot. 
Kill Bill sirens started playing in my head on repeat as I heard Wanda choke on her asparagus, inadvertently drawing attention to the three of us. Peter looked at us in confusion: Wanda kept on gasping, but it seemed like the dam had finally burst and she was laughing in earnest, snorting, loudly, as I engaged my willpower to stop myself from doing the same. Needless to say, it was a spectacular failure and now both of us were bent over our dinner plates, absolutely losing it - much to the concern of the adults present at the table. The rest of the team was growing concerned.
"Oh my god, your FACE!" Wanda's incoherent mumbling and the accusing finger pointed in my direction did it.
"A lady doesn't... kiss... and tell...." I fervently gulped the oxygen as I tried to articulate my thoughts into something comprehendible. The hysterical laughter won by a wide margin.
"Who's the lucky guy?" Natasha seemed to get the gist, relaxing immediately and picking up her fork to continue her meal. 
I shook my head, unable to form a coherent thought, much less a sentence. Bruce chuckled from somewhere beside me and just like that, the tension broke. The adults in the room traded knowing looks, chuckling and snorting amongst themselves. 
The moments I needed to calm down went to waste really quick: my first laughing fit over, I took one look at Wanda and yet again, both of us were puffing out our cheeks to try and prevent another hysterical fit. 
"Whew," I exaggerated, eyes wide and looking ANYWHERE but at Wanda.
"What a wild ride," She snorted and I put a palm over my face, shaking my head in... 
Disappointment at myself? I wasn't disappointed. Now that I got over the WTF factor, I found the situation to be pretty damn hot. Will was hot. Eh, whatever. 
My casual mood of zero-fucks-given began returning. After few of the last bites of potatoes, I was prepared to face  Natasha. I looked the Black Widow dead in the eye as I firmly stated: "And for the record? We are NOT having this conversation."
She elegantly arched her eyebrow whilst everybody else held their breath. "That bad, huh?" The retort was immediate.
I allowed myself to radiate a bit of that newly acquired smugness I had begun to feel: "You have no idea," I hoped my smirk was as devious as I wished it to be.
"Alright, heartbreaker, colour me impressed," Natasha nodded in affirmation. We shared another meaningful look and reverted back to our plates with the menfolk observing us akin animals at a zoo. 
Somewhat amazed, slightly afraid. Bruce's stare was somewhat concerned, too: he contemplatively eyed me from the corner of his eye, the same way I eyed him, checking out the fact that he appeared somewhat annoyed. Like a proper father would, I suppose. 
Luckily for me, I finished off the remaining food and drink quickly, with Wanda being my saviour once again as she all but bodily dragged me into the elevator, promising to return me to the science den in no more than an hour. Tony went to complain but was promptly stopped by Natasha inconspicuously reaching for the butter knife: the engineer knew how to pick his battles. I didn't doubt that Romanoff was going to hear "all about it" second-hand from Wanda and I was fully prepared to face the redhead spy's judgement. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, escaped that clever woman.
A quick shower and a change of clothes later, I sat on Wanda's couch, nervously fiddling with the two sizes too big sweatpants, occasionally stopping to straighten the plain white tank top that just barely fit me. I washed my hair but didn't  dry it before Wanda was impatiently telling me to hurry up: the mess sat atop my head held up by a single scrunchie.
"Okay... Where do I start?" She asked me, looking like the cat that ate the canary. 
"Don't start," I stopped her with a raised palm. "It was a casual, one-time thing and I've no interest in pursuing that shit on the reg," I answered honestly. The fact that he was my teacher simultaneously worsened the situation and made me elated. But ultimately, I didn't want to risk the trouble that would come along with this mess. Besides, I had no feelings for the guy whatsoever. As I've said previously, it was just bad impulse control on some teenage hormone steroids.
"You're a strange one," Wanda's penetrating gaze made me shiver. "You live without a care in the world but at the same time, your mind is always all over the place. It is interesting."
"Uh, thanks? I guess?"
"I think we should try being friends," The witch remarked after a brief moment of awkward silence. I stared at her, dumbfounded. "Because of my powers, I can literally see through people and predict what they will do before they even think about doing it. With you, it's not like that," She explained, her Slavic accent making a full guest appearance.
"So...you want to be friends because I'm a fucking mess?" I couldn't help but feel a little offended. The occasional shitty decision aside, I didn't think of myself as that bad.
"I want to be friends because I like you," Wanda fondly rolled her eyes, standing up from the couch and motioning for me to follow. "Now let's get you to Tony or he'll blow a gasket. He's already insufferable as he is."
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everlarkficexchange · 3 years
Text
A Simple Choice
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Written by: @justajjfan​​
Beta’d by: @sunsetsrmydreams​​
Prompt 83: Katniss is whipped instead of Gale in Catching Fire, Peeta’s the one who’s there to take care of her after. [submitted by anonymous].
Prompt 116: Peeta braids Katniss’ hair to soothe her. [submitted by anonymous] 
Rating: Mature 
Warning: Mention of whipping 
A/N: My plan is to post each chapter (7 in all) daily so thank you @everlarkficexchange​ ; @javistg​ and @xerxia31​ for always being so accommodating and generous with your time. A special thank you to my beta and bestie @sunsetsrmydreams​. 
~~~
Chapter 2
Dad and I make a great team working harmoniously alongside each other and it’s not hard to notice the difference in him in the short space of time. He seems less pressured and the warm smile I remembered as a small boy has returned. Whether in the kitchen or serving customers, I’ve realised just how connected I am to this place.
I delight in friendly conversation but avoid answering any questions relating to The Hunger Games which most of our customers respect. What I enjoy doing the most is preparing for the morning ahead and kneading fresh bread dough in the back room has become a tranquil sort of therapy for me.
In the mindless quiet, I can block everything out giving me time to sort the shiny stuff in my head until I’m left with what’s real. This might not be a proven method of mind-therapy, but it works for me most of the time by sifting through all my cluttered thoughts so I can make better decisions for me and my future.
And I need that now more than ever.
Mother, in her usual meddling ways was quick to invite the Cartwright family to dinner and insisted Delly and I go out for a walk alone to get to know each other. As it turned out, she’s good company and I enjoy having someone to talk to, although she does most of the talking herself.
Now we meet almost every evening.
Delly’s a nice girl, just like mother said and I know I need to start thinking about a lot of things especially my future, but she keeps hinting at speeding up our friendship and I don’t think committing myself to her in that way is something I’m ready for.
In the few weeks Delly and I have been seeing each other, things have moved rather quickly from our casual walks after dinner. She’s pretty and sweet but I’m only fooling myself into thinking I could ever let another claim my heart.
Each time our lips meet, I close my eyes tight and imagine it’s someone else I’m kissing. I feel awful but I just can’t stop imagining grey eyes and a dark braid.
I’ve tried talking to Delly, suggest we slow things down and just get to know each other as friends, but she makes a habit of changing the subject at the slightest hint.
Far from being pure and the shy girl my mother claims her to be, Delly has on more than one occasion, suggested we move up from chaste kisses under the moonlight to something more intimate. Her hands always seem to wander, telling me how good she can make me feel once I let go of my inhibitions. But each time she brushes her fingers against my belt buckle, I quickly step away and end the night abruptly with my ‘it’s getting late’ excuse and walk a very disappointed Delly home.
Any normal hot-blooded male would have easily jumped at the invitation and I can almost hear my brothers smart arse remarks telling me what an idiot I am and saying something crude like ‘try before you buy’ or ‘never look a gift horse in the mouth’, but I can’t bring myself to do that. I always imagined my first time would be meaningful, not just some frivolous teenage romp at the slag heap.
Maybe I am a complete idiot.
***
Hoping to gain some reprieve from the mounting list of questions in my head today, I busy myself by preparing the rest of the dry ingredients for another batch of baking but the unusual noise level coming from outside is becoming a distraction.
When I hear raised and panicked voices, I wipe my hands on my flour-dusted apron before covering everything on the bench with a clean cloth and head towards the shop front.
Walking through the swinging doors, curious to see what all the commotion is about, I see my parents peering out the shop front window speaking in hushed tones and so engrossed with what’s happening outside, they haven’t even noticed me entering the room.
“What’s going on out there?” I ask, and they both startle at my words.
Dad turns to me first, his face noticeably pale and pauses to swallow before speaking, “Jake Blacksmith came by a minute ago and he…umm…said Head Peacekeeper Thread has ordered everyone out to the square,” he answers, taking a quick glance towards my mother who stands stoically and uncharacteristically silent.
“Thread is claiming he caught a traitor trying to sneak back into the district to spy for the rebels. The punishment has been set at fifty lashes,” dad finishes with a harder swallow and a noticeable sheen of sweat covering his forehead.
The image of Thread using his whip to tear into flesh from the back of some poor citizen while everyone in Twelve is expected to bear witness to his cruel and barbaric form of corporal punishment, sends a cold shiver up my spine. 
Since he’s arrival, our new Head Peacekeeper was quick to impose strict laws forbidding practically everything his predecessor Harvey Cray conveniently overlooked…for a price. Now, anyone caught disobeying these laws usually find themselves tied to the newly-erected wooden post in the town square without trial or appeal and the punishment is always the same.
Being flogged within an inch of your life is Thread’s answer to law and order and the brute even insists on inflicting every lash on his unfortunate captives himself.
The first citizen of Twelve to feel the sting from the Head Peacekeeper’s cat o’ nine tails was Zed Palmer, a tailor with no male heirs to take over his business. That, along with severe arthritis in his hands meant he could no longer work to pay the hefty taxes now enforced and those who witnessed the flogging were grateful Zed was dead well before his fifty lashes was reached. Most disturbing was Thread not being satisfied until the last lash was counted.
I hope whoever this unfortunate citizen is, their suffering too will end long before the count to fifty is reached.
I move closer to the door and watch mother step out onto the street to join Delly and her parents who are in deep conversation while more people leave their shops and head towards the town square in hurried steps.
“A traitor?” I huff and shake my head in disbelief as I watch Merchants lock their shop front doors obeying Thread’s authoritarian command. “I doubt anyone in their right mind would want to come back if they had the chance at freedom,” I tell dad. “They should have kept running as far away from here and never looked back,” I add, expecting him to agree with me but he stares into the distance and offers nothing in response.
A moment of awkward silence falls between the two of us and the strange look on dad’s face gives me pause, but I let the weird feeling pass. As I turn to step back into the kitchen and carry on with my work, he speaks in an afterthought manner, “must’ve had a good reason to risk it all,” he says looking at me strangely, but I don’t say anything and give him a nod acknowledging his comment at least. Still, it doesn’t alter my way of thinking. If there was a choice between freedom or here…?
No…nothing would be worth it.
I take another glance outside at the passing townsfolk all walking in the same direction towards the town square like a herd of frightened sheep. But my attention is more centred on mother who stepped outside to speak with the Cartwrights and are conversing in lowered voices, sending the odd stare my way.
That cold shiver I was feeling earlier returns and it runs through me like ice.
I wave politely to the Cartwrights, but they ignore my friendly gesture and after a few brief seconds decide to join the rest of the Merchant population gathering in the town square.
What could be more horrid than being forced to witness a fellow citizen of Twelve…or anyone for that matter, whipped to a pulp?
I try to block the image from my thoughts. I’ve seen enough horrors to last me a lifetime and I’m a little disappointed Delly’s parents seem eager to join the growing crowd.
Delly gives me a half-smile as she continues to speak with my mother and the looks I’m receiving from them both increases my uneasiness.
I can’t shake this feeling of dread and turn back to dad who’s staring out in the distance, his facial expression looking lost. “Something isn’t right,” I mutter under my breath, and even though I spoke in a hushed tone, I know dad heard me.
“What is it you’re not telling me?” I ask, knowing if anyone is going to give me a truthful answer, it will be him. Dad’s straightens his back and shoulders almost immediately and when his eyes meet mine, his chin begins to tremble.
“Dad?” I ask, holding in a shaky breath.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, dad looks away from me and gives my question a moment’s pause before nodding, almost as though he’s giving himself permission to speak.
“Jake said Katniss disappeared with her family and the Hawthorne’s a couple of days ago and everyone thought they’d escaped to the woods to join up with the rebels, but she was caught trying to sneak back in this morning…alone. She’s tied to the whipping post. Fifty lashes.”
I stand dumbstruck. This can’t be true.
“No…Jake’s mistaken! He must’ve heard wrong!”
The curtains in Katniss’s room have been drawn for two days now and I haven’t heard her scream out in the night. I just assumed she and Gale—
I clear that image from my mind as I try to process everything in my head and look out to see my mother shouting at dad to shut up and what a worthless idiot he is while Delly stands in silence, watching me.
Over my mother’s angry and verbal abuse, dad continues to speak, “I wished to God he was wrong but Jake saw Katniss being dragged up on the wooden platform and I have no reason to doubt him. He’s a good, hard-working honest man and wouldn’t make something like this up.”
This I know to be true.
Dad reaches his hand to my shoulder, but I don’t feel the touch as the world around me starts to spin and I feel like I’m about to pass out. I’m so caught in a daze I don’t even know if I’m still breathing or if my heart is beating at this point. How I managed to step outside without tripping over my own feet is beyond me.
I need to get to her.
Delly breaks her silent stare and rushes towards me with a look of determination on her face and reaches her hand out to try and stop me, “she’s not worth risking your own life Peeta…think about us!” she pleads, and her words hit me like a ton of bricks.
Us?
Was it her intention to keep me from knowing what was happening to Katniss until it was all over? Is that what they were all trying to do? I can understand my mother wanting to keep me from rushing to Katniss…but Delly?
I brush past Delly ignoring her pleas to stop. I can’t even bring myself to look at her right now and only get a few steps away before mother is in front of me, grabbing a firm hold of my arm and blocking me from running to the square.
“Let go of me!” I say through gritted teeth, as anger starts to build up inside me.
“You’ll kill us all by drawing attention to yourself and for what? She’s nothing but Seam trash!” My blood boils and just like Delly’s words, I don’t let the venom spilling from mother’s mouth stop me from getting to Katniss.
Mother wouldn’t understand…nobody would. Despite everything, I made a promise to protect Katniss and I know she’d do the same for me.
“I forbid you to go! Your future is with Delly not that dirty whore in the square getting exactly what she deserves!” she yells but I yank my arm away from her tight grip.
“My future is not for you or anyone else to decide…it’s mine!” I shout defiantly.
“You’re a fool! She’s as good as dead already!” I hear mother yell as I run towards the square.
***
I silently curse my legs for failing to get me to the square any faster and when I finally reach the cobble-stoned ground, I’m feeling ragged and short of breath.
Crack!
Don’t let it be her! Don’t let it be her! I repeat those words over in my head as I try to catch my breath and refill my lungs with much needed air.
Crack!
I hurry my steps…breath be damned and as I approach the sea of faceless people both Seam and Merchant standing side by side to watch the sickening spectacle, I begin to push my way through.
Hands reach out to stop me and I hear their gasps and pleading whispers not to venture any further, but I need to see with my own eyes.
Crack!
I feel my blood drain from my body, but I continue to edge my way closer to the wooden platform and as I do, my legs begin to weaken as soon as I reach the first step. Climbing the next two seems like I’m moving in slow-motion and when my eyes lock on the gruesome sight before me, I cry out her name in a pathetic wail.
“Katniss!”
What has he done to you?
My heart plummets at the sight of her limp body, hanging like a piece of butchered meat. Her hands are bound together by a thick piece of rope tied to a large hook above her head. Katniss’ braid is messy and mattered with loose and bloodied strands of hair covering her bruised face and when my eyes look closer to her bare back, rage envelops and I almost lose what little is left of my self-control.
The shirt Katniss wore has been ripped in half exposing the upper part of her petite frame including her breasts for all to see. The raised marks and torn flesh from the countless number of lashes she’s already received, seeps with so much blood I swallow back the bile rising from my throat.
I was too late to save her.
My eyes well up from tears rolling down my cheeks and I gasp for breath between my uncontrollable sobs. I shut my eyes tight praying this is a horrible nightmare and I’ll wake up in my bed, walk the usual steps to my window and see her alive and pacing about in her bedroom. But when I open them again, there’s no mistake.
This nightmare is real.
I feel my legs start to buckle from beneath me and I slowly kneel to the ground to stop myself from falling. I don’t know how to fix this…what can I do? She shouldn’t be here. Dad said she ran away.
Why did she come back?
Endless questions whirl around my head consuming me along with the grief and the realisation I’ll have to live the rest of my worthless life knowing I failed in my promise to keep Katniss safe.
Loud voices bring me back to the now just in time to see Thread’s arm raised, poised and ready to inflict another lash to her lifeless body.
Even in my grief-stricken state, the feeling of deep loss and sorrow is overtaken by a sudden rush of strength and courage from within and it propels my body forward to block Thread and his whip from finding their mark.   
‘No!” I cry out. This Capitol brute will have to go through my dead body first before I let him touch her again.  
“Well, well, well…who do we have here?” Head Peacekeeper Thread remarks loudly and when I look up, I see him grinning with mutt-like eyes staring down at me.
“Looks like this traitor scum has a bedfellow eager to play white knight. She must have some hidden talents worth risking your life for,” he suggests crudely, wiping the sweat and blood from his face with the palm of his hands…Katniss’ blood.
The distinct sound of Peacekeepers heavy tread come barrelling towards me, then hands roughly try to pry me from where I lay clinging to Katniss.
“Can’t you see she’s dead!” I yell, shoving their hands away to stop them from breaking my protective hold over her body. “She’s been punished enough. What more do you want from her?” I shout to the point of hysteria, not caring if my question will be answered with a lash to my back or a bullet to my brain.
“It’s the other Victor, Peeta Mellark, sir,” a voice I recognise answers from behind me. My eyes dart slightly to the left and even through the darkened visor of his white peacekeeper’s helmet, I know it’s Darius Jackson, one of a dozen or so decent soldiers stationed here in Twelve, clearing his throat and standing at attention.
“He’s also the youngest son of the town baker, sir,” he adds.
Head Peacekeeper Thread storms over to Darius and barks out a chilling warning, “you speak one more time without my permission Corporal Jackson, and I will take great pleasure in cutting out your tongue and feeding it to the jabberjays. Do I make myself clear?” Thread emphasises loudly.
“Yessir!” Darius is quick to respond as he stands at attention.
“Now I don’t care who he is, get him off this platform! I’ll deal with the gallant knight once I’m done here,” Thread orders and Darius obeys, saluting him first before stepping towards me with his head lowered.
“He can help you keep count while he waits his turn,” Thread adds coldly, as he inspects the leather handle of is whip.
Keep count?
I have no idea how many lashes Katniss received before I got here and the thought of counting them down much less being forced to watch helplessly as Thread carries on with her punishment is more than I choose to bear.
I jostle with Darius and the other two peacekeepers who stepped forward to help him pull me away from her body. It takes all three peacekeepers to overpower me and pry my hands away forcing me to separate from Katniss.
Weakened by my struggles and overtaken by grief, they drag me away and all I can do is cry out and tell Katniss how sorry I wasn’t here to protect her and that I’ll always love her. Just as those words leave my lips she moves and moans in pain.
She’s alive!
“Stop! Please! I’ll take the rest of her punishment!” I scream, finding a new source of strength and scuffle myself free from the heavy-handed grips of the peacekeepers.
“Whatever you think she did…whatever the count, I volunteer to take them all. Just let her go!” I demand and as my words ring out, loud murmurs coming from the crowd distract Thread for a moment before turning his attention back to me.
“How very noble of you,” Thread snickers. “But your request is denied. This runaway whore was sent here by the rebels and she refuses to disclose her mission and the whereabouts of her leader’s hideout. Now move knight!” he commands, and when I don’t budge he raises his arm and I instinctively throw myself over Katniss to shield her and the pain is instant.
Crack!
The pointed leather straps strike my shoulder blade before I have a chance to brace myself for the blow. Even against the fabric of my shirt, the lash rips through the worn calico barrier as if it were made of paper. My skin underneath feels like I’ve been stung by a nest full of tracker jackers…but I don’t budge.
With clenched fists I try to ignore the painful stinging sensation and the warm, watery feeling that is probably my blood trickling down my shoulder and stay on top of Katniss’ body to block Thread from getting to her.
“She doesn’t know anything! She’s not a rebel spy!” I yell at the top of my voice, pleading with Thread to stop but when I hear the distinctive cocking of his pistol I know my desperate pleas are about to be silenced with a bullet.
“You’ve tried my patience long enough knight. Obstructing a Peacekeeper from carrying out his duty and interfering with a prisoner’s sentence is punishable by death and you are guilty as charged!” Thread bellows and the gasps and murmurs of discontent from the crowd grows louder.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” an all too familiar voice shouts out from amongst the crowd and I’ve never been happier to hear his gruff tone.
Daring to look, I see Haymitch with hands raised, step up to the platform and inch his way closer to me and Katniss. If he is disturbed by what he sees, he doesn’t show it and keeps his eyes pinned on the Head Peacekeeper.
It takes Thread a split second to shift his pistol from the direction of my head, to our mentor’s instead and I’m holding onto my breath in trepidation of what may happen next.
Katniss murmurs something then moans in pain from her bloodied wounds as she tries to move and my attention falls back on her. But all I can do is gently stroke the only place I know Thread’s lashes haven’t ravaged.
With shaking hands, I stroke her hair and push a few loose strands away from her face before bringing my lips to her ears to hush her, “shush…it’s going to be okay. I won’t let him touch you again,” I whisper, hoping she can hear me. My only focus now is calming her as best I can so I start to comb my fingers through her hair while silently praying Haymitch can get us out of this hellish mess.
“I don’t think President Snow is going be too pleased when he hears what you’ve done to one of his newest Victors,” he tells Thread who keeps his pistol aimed at Haymitch’s head.
“Stripping you of your command would be my first guess. I’ll let you do the math as to what my second guess would be?”
Whatever game Haymitch is playing at to set us free better work because right now, I’m not feeling confident as he stares down the barrel of Thread’s pistol.
The Head Peacekeeper lowers his weapon just long enough to grab Haymitch by his jacket, bringing his face so close to Haymitch and of all the things to cross my mind at this crucial point, I’m wondering if he can smell the alcohol on our mentor’s breath.
“My allegiance is to General Maximus Jackson and I answer only to him not that old fool in the Capitol,” Thread informs him, then shoves Haymitch back raising his pistol towards his head again.
Haymitch unperturbed, regains his footing and straightens his jacket, “oh, so Maxy Jackson is your boss? Well, it’s a small world after all,” he remarks flippantly.
“Your General and I are old drinking buddies and we go way…way back. I’m sure he won’t be too thrilled when he finds out you’ve whipped a Victor within an inch of her life,” he quips to Thread who glares at him with displeasure in his eyes.
“Now who do you suppose Maxy reports to…huh?” he pauses just long enough to take a breath and when Thread isn’t forthcoming with the obvious answer, Haymitch supplies it for him.
“I’m gonna take it you’re still working it out in your head but let me help you out here. President Coriolanus Snow…that’s who. He’s probably watching us from the Capitol. Eyes and ears everywhere you know,” he says, waving his hand randomly about the square.
Thread takes a quick look around the square then turns his attention back to our mentor, “my men caught her sneaking under the fence. She’s a rebel spy!” Thread yells but Haymitch is quick to respond to his preposterous accusation.
“Katniss Everdeen may be a lot of things but a rebel spy isn’t one of them! Everyone around here knows she hunts outside the perimeter for wild game…technically illegal yes, but she’s done so out of necessity to help feed her family. She sells whatever’s left at the hob, which you and your peacekeepers seem to have overlooked while enjoying the fruits of her labour with the fresh meat you buy to fill your own stomachs,” Haymitch reminds Thread, and I hear voices from the crowd bravely agreeing with our mentor.
“We all know you’re a smart man, but have you taken a moment to think what the consequences you alone as Head Peacekeeper will be expected to pay if you kill Snow’s Victors, not to mention how all this will impact on our mutual friend, the General? I think the best thing you can do for yourself right now is to let them both go and pray the girl doesn’t die from her injuries,” Haymitch strongly advises.
Silence fills the square as the crowd hold their collective breaths and wait for Thread to react and just when I think all hope is lost, Haymitch gives it one last-ditched effort to free us.
“The President had Cray removed…permanently, what makes you think he won’t do the same to you?”
The colour on Thread’s face turns a scorching red but he tries to remain unaffected by Haymitch’s comment. No matter who gave the order, Cray was relieved of his command the day Thread and the new troop of peacekeepers under his command drove into Twelve in their heavy-armoured combat vehicles.
Cray’s disappearance is a grim reminder of the absolute power President Snow holds over every citizen including his peacekeepers.
No one is safe…not even a Head Peacekeeper.
The silent tension is immediately broken when a peacekeeper rushes up to the platform, panting heavily and carrying a radio transmitter device. He salutes nervously first then informs Thread that General Jackson is on the other end wanting to speak with him without delay.
Thread snatches the device from the out-of-breath peacekeeper’s hand and strides to the corner of the wooden platform. Even from this short distance, his General’s voice can be heard shouting from the other end of the device. After a much one-sided conversation, it ends in less than a minute.
The order for everyone, including us to clear the square, is bellowed out before Thread marches off the platform and into his armoured vehicle where it speeds back towards the peacekeepers barracks.
I untied Katniss’ hands from the large hook the moment Thread finished barking out his order and when she flops into my arms and begins to whimper, my first thought is to cover her half-naked body with my apron which starts to blot with blood. 
There’s no time to waste and with Katniss safely in my arms, I start to make my way off the platform in long even strides. Haymitch is there to guide me carefully down the steps before we make our way through the gathered crowd who strangely offer me sympathetic looks as they move to the side giving me a clear path.
This in itself is a strange occurrence but I don’t have time to analyse. There are some things I want to ask Haymitch but before I get a chance to open my mouth, he’s in my ear.
“That sadistic bastard! Thankfully for us Thread’s not too bright,” Haymitch claims. “Now listen to me very carefully boy and don’t ask questions…there’s not much time,” he begins, looking cautiously over his shoulders.
“I could wring that hot-head Hawthorne’s neck. He knew sweetheart would never leave without—” he stops mid-sentence, clearing his throat. “Nevermind…none of that’s important right now,” he adds and although our mentor is talking in riddles, one thought sticks in the forefront of my mind.
If Gale Hawthorne was responsible for this in anyway and by some slim chance we cross paths in the near future…he’s a dead man.
“Take Katniss back to your house and stay there until I come for you both,” I go to protest, not exactly sure why I think it would be a bad idea, but Haymitch speaks again before I have a chance to utter a word.
“Don’t argue with me! Things are going to move quick from here on end, and I need you both ready and in the one place when all hell breaks loose. Just stay alert!” he emphasises strongly. “Your house is the safest place for both of you…no listening bugs there, I’ve made sure.”
Be ready; stay alert; no bugs; when what happens? I don’t have a clue what any of that means and maybe it’s best I don’t…for now.  
What little he does tell me, I already figured out for myself. Without Katniss’ healer mother and sister Primrose, who escaped along with the Hawthorne family, there’s isn’t anyone in Twelve qualified to attend to her wounds, but when Haymitch mentions sending someone he thinks could help, I’m quick to refuse the offer.
I won’t let a stranger near her.
“No! I’ll take care of Katniss myself,” I interject. “I know you have connections in the black-market, and I don’t mean Ripper. She’ll need the right kind of medicine and I’ll pay double whatever the going rate is…more if need be. Tell them to name their price and I’ll pay it! Just bring me everything you can lay your hands on, anything to fight infection and something strong for the pain,” I instruct with urgency as we make our way out of the square.
I may not be a healer, but I know the basics and keeping wounds clean is the first step to healing. That much I learnt from Katniss.
Haymitch taps me on the shoulder and I wince, my body reminding me of the single lash I received from Thread trying to protect Katniss.
“Keep your money boy. I’ll get you everything sweetheart needs and if she lives through this, it will be a bloody miracle,” he says before hurrying off, and the insides of my stomach twists with his response.
She has to live.
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