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darkfire359 · 6 months

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What could have been: sympathizing with Ed in season 2

I've talked before about how much I love Ed and all his complexity. I've written more fanfic about him and Izzy than any other characters, in my entire history of fandom. And unlike many people, I wasn't unprepared for the dark direction his arc took in season 2; I wanted him to commit MORE atrocities, and I happily made comparisons between him and another one of my favorite characters, Hannibal Lector.

But one of the key things I wanted after he committed atrocities was for him to feel bad about it. And I thought we'd see that! After all, S1 Ed was so tormented about killing his dad (who was abusive and violent towards) him that he never killed (directly) again! He was so broken up about trying to kill Stede in s1e6 that he ended up crying in a bathtub. Just like he cried in the window sill after committing all the kraken horrors in s1e10. It seemed like this was a guy scared of his own inner darkness, convinced he was a monster, who would go around saying things like "I'm not a good person" and "You were always going to realize who I am."

And so even when s2 went darker than anyone expected—when he cut off more of Izzy's toes, and shot him in the leg, and made crewmen fight to the death for experiencing love, and sailed the entire ship into a storm to murder-suicide his crew—I was still ready to accept all that moral ambiguity and give him a hug afterwards. Because of course, I figured that after Ed was brought out of that dark place and those suicidal urges, he would feel horrible remorse. How could he not?

I was looking forward to seeing him break down crying, convinced he was an irredeemable, unforgivable monster. (Which of course, would make it all the more touching when people inevitably did forgive him, and when he did redeem himself). Maybe Ed would even go too far with trying to atone, like in Mercy, one of my favorite post-s1 fics. Probably, I figured, Ed's quest for redemption would be one of the main themes in the second half of season 2.

So it was strange to watch e4, when Ed looked nothing but annoyed at everyone for chaining him up and banishing him, and then he went to hang out with his old friends like he'd done nothing wrong. When after the crew unanimously voted him out, Stede brought him back to the ship literally that same evening, and Ed saw no problem with that. Okay... maybe he's still processing?

Then e5 came, and that episode was about Ed's redemption. Yay! Except... Ed didn't seem to care? Other people made him wear the bag and the bell. He asked how long it'd take people to get over it, guessing "like a day." He gave an influencer-esque non-apology to the crew. He said "I took a man's leg" rather than calling Izzy by name. He literally doesn't remember the circumstances of pushing Lucius off the boat. He does ultimately give a real apology to Fang—for tormenting him years ago, rather than anything from his actual kraken era. I love e5 for the Izzy+Stede dynamic, but watching Ed be an unrepentant asshole here is painful. There is nothing about this that convinces me Ed wouldn't slide right back to being evil if Stede were to leave again.

And the thing is, it didn't have to be like this! We could have gotten Ed breaking down crying with guilt like in s1e6, and it would have made him much more sympathetic—not to mention the fact that Ed really is just an adorable cryer. Alternatively, we could have had some real deep diving about why Ed never apologizes (is he afraid of seeming weak?) or why he's so uncaring about others' pain (has he seen too many friends die over the years, to the point of going numb?)

By episode 6, it seems like most characters have moved on. Stede says something about Ed turning poison into positivity, which feels completely unearned. He pays for the party—but he'd previously tried to make the crew throw their cut of the loot into the ocean. He makes some attempts to best Ned and protect Stede, but Stede ends up saving the crew instead—from a pirate who only showed up in the first place because Ed was intentionally trying to piss him off. Ed is sad that Stede kills someone, and this would be a great time to again make Ed sympathetic! To have him talk about how he doesn't want that for Stede, because his own violence has weighed on him so deeply. But nope.

E6 does see Ed actually apologize to Izzy—and he's terrible at it. He's just like, "Sorry about your leg," makes no eye contact, and flees immediately afterwards. We do see some hints that this shitty apology isn't really indicative of Ed's true feelings, given how he has those flashbacks to the scenes of hurting Izzy seemingly haunting him; but it's very brief. It would be a great time to address Ed's horrific tendency towards conflict-aversion and avoiding awkward conversations in relationships—the same tendency that made s1 Ed never inform Izzy that the plan to kill Stede and the Revenge crew had changed. This would be another great opportunity to help us sympathize with Ed again—to have us see how it's not that he doesn't want to communicate these things, it's that these conversations are terribly stressful and anxiety-inducing for him. But nah, why would OFMD need to include those things for Ed?

E7 happens, and still nothing. If anything, there was a great opportunity for Ed to at least show himself to be a kind person to Stede—maybe nobly stepping in to save the day, even though he's annoyed that Stede's getting all this attention now. You know, like Stede did for him back in s1e5, when the situation was reversed. But nope, Ed runs off to be a fisherman, not having learned any of the earlier season's lessons about whims. He only stops being a fisherman because he's bad at it.

I was still hoping for something big in e8–some huge selfless, gesture that Ed would do to cover for all of his inability to do the little gestures. Ed is good at grand gestures! Swimming back to the ship after he left, then taking the Act of Grace in s1 was HUGE. Very selfless, very sweet! He could have done something like that for Izzy, Lucius, and the traumatized crew. Some kind of heroic gesture to help others more than himself. But nope. In some sense, Izzy dying is one of the greatest indications of Ed's wasted potential, because we narratively had a great opportunity for Ed to be able to save someone... but he didn't.

(Admittedly, Ed is not a complete dick here—he helps Izzy when he's limping, he says some genuinely apologetic stuff when Izzy's dying, and he finally gives Izzy his attention and care. But then after the funeral, he's still like "Well, that's that.")

It's so frustrating. It's not that I don't want to like Ed, or that I don't want to sympathize with him. I really, REALLY do! I don't even need Ed to successfully do anything to earn forgiveness! I'd take Ed trying and failing. I'd take him wanting to try, but being so convinced of his monstrousness that he never makes the attempt. But give me something. Anything other than the unexamined apathy that he has so much of the time.

The thing is, s2 lost the ability for Ed's mistreatment of people to be just another "of course he's violent, he's a pirate" quirk. They were pretty explicit about how abusive Ed was (Jim's comment in e1, the joke in e4 people assumed Ed had hit Stede) and how much he traumatized people (Lucius and the whole crew very clearly have PTSD in episodes 4 and 5). This is serious stuff, which he did to other main characters, which is going to make a lot of viewers look at him pretty harshly.

And that's manageable—Hannibal Lector managed to be most textbook-abusive asshole in the world, committing atrocities and generally being unrepentant left and right, and viewers STILL found him lovable and sympathetic. You can do that! But you need to:

a. make it clear that anyone with the relevant information calls them out for being awful, even multiple episodes later

b. make it clear that they care deeply and genuinely about their wronged loved ones

c. make them willing to actually make REAL sacrifices

I watched so many people start to dislike or outright hate Ed in season 2. It made me really sad. But I couldn't blame them for feeling that way. For all that Ed is supposedly one of the two protagonists in OFMD—a character whose mistakes should be the most understandable, whose mental state should be the most resonant—the show seemed to entirely drop the ball on writing him as such.

#edward teach #ofmd critical #ofmd season 2 #ofmd season 2 spoilers #ofmd #our flag means death #izzy hands #arguably the writers' mistake with Izzy is easier to fix in fanfiction #just undo the last 10 minutes #but now I feel like Ed fics after s2 have to fix huge chunks of his characterization #I also think it'd be more reasonable to make Ed not give a shit about the crew if the show just like... admitted that directly?#but we've got Stede making comments about Ed turning poison into positivity #we've got Izzy saying the crew loves Ed and is his family #and while it's not OOC for either of them to just be delusional and overprojecting their own love for Ed #it's weirdly unexamined #same thing with Ed's “I don't kill people thing” after he murders British officers left and right in s2e8 #was Ed's whole talk with Stede in s1e6 just a lie?#obviously Ed was stretching definitions / using it as a coping mechanism but I thought he was at least telling the truth as he saw it

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phoenixyfriend · 3 months

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It would be great if people stopped using real atrocities as an excuse to hate on a White Girl Brand.

Even BDS does not focus on Starbucks. They haven't mentioned it since 2014.

"I'm boycotting Starbucks in support of Palestine!" No, chance are you saw a chance to talk shit about a brand that's popular and it makes you feel like you're better than everyone else. It gets notes. Why talk about actual boycotts like Chevron and HP and Sodastream and Puma when you can give people an excuse to hate That Popular Thing That Girls Like?

"But they shut down that one group for being pro-Palestine!" They shut it down with political speech as the EXCUSE. That was not about Palestine. It was about unions. That was a union-busting action. Not a political one. It was a stupid union-busting action because of the bad press it got them for supposedly being pro-Israel, but it was about the union. From the corporate perspective, it was about the union. It was a chance to take down one of the unions.

EDIT: Other claims of explicit zionism by the company as a whole have been debunked. The matter of Howard Schultz is more complicated. See below.

Boycott the company for its union-busting. A boycott without a clear message doesn't do shit, and you are wasting your time and energy, and spreading misinformation besides.

You are NOT HELPING PALESTINE by spreading misinformation. Sure, the opportunity to hate on Starbucks is going to mean more people share your past and it goes farther, but it's also going to make them think that boycotting a company that has nothing to do with Israel is going to help, rather than, say, paying attention to the gas pumps they use or the food they eat.

The above image is from the BDS page on economic boycotts. It's official as of early January. This is on the same page:

We must strategically focus on a relatively smaller number of carefully selected companies and products for maximum impact. We need to target companies that play a clear and direct role in Israel’s crimes and where there is real potential for winning, as was the case with, among others, G4S, Veolia, Orange, Ben & Jerry’s and Pillsbury. Compelling large, complicit companies, through strategic and context-sensitive boycott and divestment campaigns, to end their complicity in Israeli apartheid and war crimes against Palestinians sends a very powerful message to hundreds of other complicit companies that “your time will come, so get out before it’s too late!”

Many of the prohibitively long lists going viral on social media do the exact opposite of this strategic and impactful approach. They include hundreds of companies, many without credible evidence of their connection to Israel’s regime of oppression against Palestinians. Many do not have clear demands to the companies as to what we expect them to do to end the boycott, making them ineffective.

I'm not saying that Starbucks SHOULDN'T be held accountable for using the Gaza war as a point of contention in their unrelated union situation. It was a shitty thing to do, and incidentally and indirectly supported Israel.

EDIT: I've been given some information on how Howard Schultz, the CEO, has investment ties to Wiz and other Israeli companies that are actually involved with current events. This is significantly more than I was previously finding. If you choose to boycott for this reason, have at ye.

However, I do still hold to my stance that companies ACTUALLY BEING TARGETED by BDS should be the ones name-dropped in posts that feature calls to action. It's a matter of efficiency and effectiveness. The more people that are led to believe that Starbucks is the biggest bad in the room, the less people will join in boycotts and divestment of McDonald's, Papa John's, Pizza Hut, Burger King, Wiz, Airbnb, Caterpillar, Chevron, and all the other companies that BDS is saying are actually important to stop giving money to.

Back to the original post.

But.

BUT

The proliferation of specifically anti-Starbucks rhetoric as a supposed form of pro-Palestine Action is overshadowing ACTUAL ACTION. If every single post about boycotting to support Palestine mentions Starbucks, and maybe Puma or Sodastream, but doesn't mention any of the two dozen other companies that BDS states are actually crucial to making a change, including other American food franchises (that just do happen to be more stereotypically boy-popular, like pizza and burger chains), then you are ACTIVELY taking away support from the boycotts that matter.

And the reason this happens is because "Starbucks bad" feeds into the confirmation bias for people that already dislike it for being popular or overpriced or not to their taste.

So take a step back. Ask yourself, "am I boycotting Starbucks because I actually believe it will help and am listening to groups like BDS, or am I just using this as an excuse to badger people into avoiding a franchise I already dislike?"

Okay? We on the same page?

Great. Now check if your local Starbucks is unionized, if their union is asking customers to boycott THEM, and then maybe boycott anyway.

But check if it's actually doing something or just distracting you from real activism, first.

#Starbucks #Palestine #activism #bds #I'm very done with this rhetoric

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sofasoap · 1 year

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Two regrets

Pairing : John Price x F!reader (aka OC Mini MacTavish) Summary: Twice the regret, twice the heartache. Part 4 of Five Times

Warning: Mature themes. if you don’t like the idea of age gap story, turn around NOW.

Thanks to mother of my Mini MacTavish @saltofmercury for lending me the character “Mini” from her story. Go read her “The Favorite MacTavish” !

“masterlist” for Mini MacTavish expanded verse.

“You miss him don’t you?” Your brother knows you too well.

You tried to put it all behind you. You buried yourself in work. Taking all the extra shifts you can. Started post graduate studies. Anything to let your brain overruns so you don’t have to think about him. This is what you are good at, pushing yourself on with life, until you are utterly exhausted, the only thing you do is get up, go to work, eat, and drag yourself home. Wash, rinse and repeat.

Your colleagues even try to set you up on a few dates. Few of them are nice enough, but you just don’t feel the connection. None of them want to know your interest. None of them look at you like you are the only person in the room that they want to focus on. None of them spend the time listening to what you really want to say, your opinions on certain events or topics. None of them are Price.

“I've never seen you so unhappy Mini.”

“.. how did you two do it?” you lean onto his shoulder, whispering. “It was hard. I have to admit.” Soap patted your head. “It took a lot of work. From both sides. We had our fair share of disagreements and fights. We got there at the end.”

Between the two of you , you are always the one that wears your heart on your sleeve. Action before logic. All the troubles and misadventures that you got into because of it. Soap on the other hand, despite his carefree and casual manners, is actually more observant and calculating. He is always the one that pulls you back, has you on the rein.

“ THINK before you act Mini.” He always joked he needed to stick that reminder on your forehead. “Don’t act so irrationally.”

You regretted not listening to him.

You regret not listening to yourself. You regret ever meeting Price, the only man that can twist your heart like this, leaving a huge hole in your heart and yet, cannot erase him from your mind.

“How’s Mini? I haven’t heard you talking about her for quite a while.” Price stopped in his tracks when he heard your name being mentioned.

“She’s doing fine. Working way too much for my liking though.” He could just hear Soap’s reply to Gaz’s question. “Even my parents hardly see her nowadays, and she doesn’t live that far away from them.” Hearing a bit of pause and continued on, “ One good thing she has is the determination and drive to push herself on in any situation, but she will run herself haggard someday.”

Price has to force himself to walk away from the door, not to listen to anymore of the conversation.

Soap has stopped talking about his sister after the unpleasant meet up. There were no changes in the professional relationships between them, but knowing Soap, he could feel the slight hostility behind his words from time to time.

There aren’t many things Captain John Price regrets about. He always comes to terms with every decision he makes in life. Always find a valid excuse to justify it, and move on.

With you? He couldn’t. Not even trying to convince himself with the lame excuses of you are a civvie, he is a military man. You are too young for him. You are his suborident’s family.

He regretted his words as soon as he saw the flash of hurt immediately replaced with anger in your eyes. He regretted sitting there, watching you leave, not stopping you and apologising for the worse failed apologies he had made moments ago.

Deep down he doesn’t want to admit he longs for you. The only one that can make him forget the atrocities in the world, the dirty works he keeps convincing himself for the good for humanity. That little soft smile you give him every time your eyes meet. Just for him. This biggest regret right now is letting you slip away from his hand, with the possibility of losing you forever.

#captain john price #john price x you #john price x reader #john price imagine #john price #captain price x reader #captain price #captain john price x reader #captain john price x you #captain john price x female reader #call of duty

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a-new-superhero · 8 months

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Shattered (A Jikook Story): Prologue

Summary: Park Jimin was 7 years old when he first saw another little boy staring back at him from the mirror in the hallway of his childhood home, a face that would follow him as he grew up and into a life that is far different from the one he hoped for.

Jeon Jungkook is haunted by the losses he’s suffered and helpless against a father that is deadly in his grief and tearing apart the kingdom that Jungkook will one day rule. His only true comfort is the familiar face of the boy that watches him from the place where his reflection should be.

When their two worlds collide, reality as they each know it will shatter into pieces. But will Jimin and Jungkook be able to free themselves and put the pieces back together? Or is it already too late?

Pairing: Jungkook x Jimin

Warnings: Fantasy AU, supernatural elements, slow burn, mentions of death/violence

Word Count: 1,071

Masterlist || Padlet || AO3

Author's Note: Oh, hi! Wow, it's been a long time since I've posted my writing on Tumblr or written fanfiction at all really. If you've come here from my other blogs then you'll already know that I've previously written for The Walking Dead and Supernatural over @twdsunshine and Sons Of Anarchy over @charmingoutlaws. But both of those blogs are now closed and I'm here writing for BTS instead. Forever a fangirl, I swear.

So, this is obviously my first time writing for these characters and I've basically built a whole new world for them just to make it extra challenging! It's an AU with two different worlds and magick and monsters and all sorts of weird and wonderful things going on, and there will be angst and hurt and comfort and fluff and some spicy moments, and it will all centre around the beautiful Jikook, and you're all going to love it, okay? Okay.

It goes without saying that my characterisation of the boys is based on their public personas/comments made in interviews and such like. I don't know them. They are essentially fictional characters here but I hope you will love them as much as I do.

Are we ready, ARMY? Not sure I am, but here goes nothing.

Let's get it!

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Jimin.

The storm is closing in, rain-heavy clouds rolling overhead. The thunderous footsteps pursuing the two men reverberate off of the trees that surround them, the thick trunks dense and dark, tangled roots protruding and causing them to trip and stumble as they flee. Jungkook’s heart pounds in time with the name that is repeating in his head.

Jimin.

Jimin’s palm is sweaty in his, and Jungkook can’t keep himself from casting anxious glances at the other man, taking in the pale cast to his skin, the panic in his wide eyes. Jimin’s hair is plastered to his forehead, his breath coming in short sharp gasps, and Jungkook fumbles in his pocket for the device he has been given, feeling it slip and slide between his slick fingers. The switch is right there. He is so painfully aware of it that it’s almost burning him through the fabric of his pants. One touch and it will activate, but who knows what will happen then? Right now, all Jungkook really knows is that Jimin is at his side, running for his life, and it’s his fault.

It is all his fault.

Jimin.

After all, isn’t it because of Jungkook that Jimin is here in the first place? Not just fleeing from the oncoming troops and their mutts, but in the Geoul Kingdom instead of safe and sound at home in his own world where nobody wants to hurt him, to use him to force Jungkook’s cooperation. Wasn’t it Jungkook that had sought comfort from the smaller man, needed the strength Jimin brought him in order to do what he should’ve done years ago? He’d been so close to giving up before Jimin had tumbled into his life, fragile and afraid and so, so lost. Jungkook had been bordering on apathetic, unable to care any longer about the atrocities he’d witnessed, the cruelty inflicted on his people. He’d been too worn down by his own divided loyalties to even consider fighting like he should have. Because he should have fought sooner, so much sooner.

Jimin.

Perhaps if he had, he wouldn’t be seeing moments from his past flash through the front of his mind, his history in fast forward as his feet pound against the packed earth, wouldn’t be counting his regrets as they come upon the cliff edge faster than he ever would have imagined possible. He’d thought he’d turned them away from the sheer drop a mile or so back, trying to lead them in a wide curve that would take them to the mountains, where they could maybe lose their pursuers in the rocky outcrops, regroup and recover, but here they are: nothing but air in front of them, towering waves whipped up by the fierce wind ready to toss them around and tug them down and steal the breath from their lungs.

No…

Jimin.

Jungkook’s feet send loose stones clattering over the edge of the rock face as he skids to a stop, throwing his free arm out to curl around Jimin’s waist and bring him to a sudden, jarring halt. He can feel the ragged rise and fall of Jimin’s chest as he pants, whipping his head left and right as he searches desperately for a way out.

There isn’t one. Jungkook knows it. He knows this land, these woods, the wild rugged cut of the coast. It’s his home after all, the Kingdom he had been born to one day rule, that he loves too fiercely to leave but has been too weak to stand up and protect.

Jimin.

Oh Gods, Jimin.

Breathless shouts reach his ears above the gale, at the same time as shadowy figures appear from between the trees at their back, some moving in formation and sporting weapons, others creeping low to the ground, bodies taut with tension and rumbling with deep, hungry growls. They lurk in his peripheral vision as he stares at Jimin, his hand buried deep in his pocket once again, drawing up every ounce of faith he has as he fists the device and draws it out into the open. He watches as the other man’s gaze drops to take it in before meeting his, a look of understanding in Jimin’s eyes that Jungkook swears he can feel deep in his heart, steadying him as he runs the pad of his thumb over the switch.

“Do you trust me?” The words are snatched away by the howling wind, too quiet to be able to stand up to its wrath, but, when Jimin nods without hesitation, he takes it as the confirmation he needs it to be. “Okay.”

He readjusts his grip on the smaller man, their fingers lacing together, sticky and searing hot with exertion, but solid, reassuring all the same. Because even in the midst of the chaos and the fear and the torrential downpour that has been unleashed upon them, Jimin is all that Jungkook can really see, all that he can feel. Just Jimin, watching, waiting, trusting, hoping… And Jungkook hopes too; hopes that this won’t be the end for them when they’ve only really just begun.

Around them, soldiers ready their rifles. They’ve formed into a tight semi-circle, trapping the two men between themselves and the sea, as their mutts pace back and forth behind them, strings of drool dripping from their gnashing jaws, but Jungkook shuts them all out, keeps his attention on Jimin, swallowing hard as the other man nods again.

“Let’s go, Kook.” He follows the movement of Jimin’s lips as he urges him on, still offering him strength even as his life hangs in the balance. Because this is Jimin, and of course he’s selflessly trying to be there for him even as the world around them crumbles. So, Jungkook has to be strong, he has to. For him.

Jimin.

He casts one fleeting look at the troops that trap them, condemning them to their fate on his own father’s orders, and then he fidgets with the device once more, deaf to the commands being bellowed at them across the open clifftop.

“On three,” he murmurs, tugging Jimin a step closer to the edge, still gripping him tight. “One…

Two…

Three!”

He jumps, propelling himself forward and pulling Jimin with him into empty air, plummeting downwards as the breath is punched from his lungs.

Jimin.

Ji-

A flash of lightning blinds him, and Jungkook flips the switch.

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Thank you so much for reading! Remember, likes, comments and reblogs are all very much appreciated. And I will be creating a tag list if anybody wants to be notified when the next part drops, so hit me up if you want to be added!

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sheimauama · 8 months

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To those two whatever they're called , since tumblr apparently hates my replies.

@potuzzz

@minisoc

First of all , I don't know if you have ever bothered to check that I am in fact Ukrainian , from Kharkiv , which was bombed to hell by russians since the first days , and in my mother's neighborhood , northern Saltivka there wasn't any building left intact . Those things , I didn't see them on "western / american media" , unlike you who ARE repeating what you saw on russian/pro-russian media . Those videos of destruction are sent to me directly by my family , and the bombings are something I heard constantly in our video calls . I also have a bunch of Ukrainian friends , the relatives of one of them were executed in russian occupied bucha , another friend from Mariupol sent me an audio crying , saying that the shelling doesn't stop and told me that they are going to die at this rate . They have no reason to lie, as does the whole country basically.

You also are communists marxists leninists whateverists , while I am apolitical ( I didn't even turn 18 , but this none of your business) . I don't care who rules Ukraine , who rules russia , who rules the west or the world . But I do care that I might wake up one morning and my family or friends will be dead , that my country will be occupied, and me being denied of my identity. You said that I hate russia , but before 24/02/2022 I wouldn't even have bothered to correct someone who called me russian instead of Ukrainian . On the first day of the war I was asked if I support Ukraine or russia and I just waved it off . I grew up speaking russian , watching soviet movies and cartoons and even singing russian patriotic songs , and even if I got some sense of unease about it after 2014 , I still didn't hate russia . But the full scale war changed it , not only because of the atrocities russia committed left and right , but also because I got to finally see on internet what russians think and write about us .

And while there's a whole bunch of stuff that I would like to adc, my previous post was directed at Arabic/Muslim readers, because they support the russian genocide for a whole other reason and I got fed up with them mentioning Ukraine every time they discuss their own geopolitical problems like we are the ones responsible for them and even making up stuff just to justify this war , and mainly because it affects me directly , even though I've been bullied since kindergarten for my Slavic appearance , the amount of hate that I have received (yes , when I'm not even mentioning something about the war) those last two years was on a whole new level . That's what I wrote about preparing myself mentally to face this again ,and while I do find the excuses those arabs use and them supporting russia because they think it's they're bestie who's completely innocent while it did a lot of harm to their *muslim brothers* stupid , I do not find being called a n@zi and having people (including my own father) telling me that Russia will occupy Kharkiv and then Kyiv and won't spare anyone of us enjoyable or funny.

And if you have bothered to read this post till the end , then have a nice day .

#ukraine #putin huilo #putin is a war criminal #український tumblr #Morocco #russia is a terrorist state #russo ukrainian war #nafo #slava ukraini

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dearaliya · 5 months

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The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes:

Dear Aliya,

How do I pronounce your name? How do I pronounce anyone's?

We've joked before that a guide to character names would benefit everyone and I can think of no truer time than with this book. Within my own head, vague sounds work perfectly so I have to ask, don't ever make me dramatically read this book out loud.

Luckily, audiobooks exist for those nights I just can't bear to look at a bunch of letters and attempt to string them together. Not that this one was phenomenal. Some lines sounded like they were recorded with a completely different set-up than the original and not for dramatic effect.

But I've discussed this in a different post so let's move on into more spoilery territory.

I am such a fan of this book! Juggling as many characters as it did, I was pleased that none of them felt simply tacked on for a shock and horror death. Of course, the tributes from the districts were always destined to be killed off, but the mentors biting it too I didn't see coming!

Speaking of the mentors, my sweet Sejanus, holds the place in my heart reserved for favourite characters. It was easy for him to walk right in, given he seemed the only one with a moral compass. Well, him and Tigris who was also a darling.

But my oh my, most fascinating character award goes to Coriolanus Snow, for sure! Of course, we were directly in his head listening to his thoughts on everyone and everything so it's only natural he was so interesting. He's everything I thought he would be, knowing who he later becomes in the series, and yet so much more! Is it any wonder he was so twisted given the system he found himself raised in? I don't think our poor Lucy Gray had a sliver of a chance of saving him.

Anyone who watched the movie without the book has missed a lot of his character, which is a shame. He showed traits of empathy and understanding towards the atrocities of the games in the beginning and when seeing tributes he'd interacted with a few times dying. Alongside seeing his slow progression into his worst possible form, you do also miss some of his funniest moments. Some of the snide comments truly knocked me out, he had no right to be outrageously funny in times of turmoil. He's two-faced and controlling, deserving of his snake title and it's great to see just how hard he fools all the other characters into believing every detail about himself that he feeds them. Snow is pressured from the very beginning to prolong the dynasty built by his family, he will claw and fight and kill anyone he needs to to make that happen. Sejanus was an unfortunate casualty, there was a kernel of goodness in Snow that wanted him to live, but anything good in Snow died when Sejanus did.

Lucy Gray Baird was another matter entirely.

District 12 was mentioned to have two victors allllllll the way at the beginning of the original trilogy, but she was never mentioned by name. I won't say she was always planned, but I do think hints of her were destined to be put to page after everything we went through with Katniss. She's the most excellent parallel and opposite to Katniss, the blueprint and catalyst to everything.

From Capitol fashion likely being inspired by her brightness and colour to the songs that trickled down through generations so they could be used in defiance once more, Lucy Gray Baird is woven through the fabric of the Hunger Games universe from beginning to end. It's thrilling to pull all the little connections together and see the big picture.

Now, for the event itself, the Hunger Games.

What a departure from the 75th Games and thereafter!

The idea that the games were so small, hardly watched to begin with, enforces that they were honestly just meant to prove what Gaul wanted to prove. Humans are naturally violent, as seen time and again when innocent district children become killers. A punishment indeed, to never forget the atrocities of war. Only later, when Gaul saw they were becoming ineffective because people weren't watching them, did the spectacle begin to ramp up into what was seen so many years down the line.

And of course later, when they really did become a means of control and power over the district.

Sooooooo...

How bad do you think Snow shit himself when, after maintaining a perfect grip on the districts from the age of 18, another girl from 12 started singing the songs of his old flame from his two-month situationship while wearing a mockingjay pin and replicating her mannerisms? I'm positively gleeful with the idea that Lucy Gray, if she was alive during the end of Mockingjay, was sitting back knowing Snow was as freaked out as he was in the woods.

If not worse.

Nothing more comes to mind, so I appreciate you listening to my thoughts. I’ll see you next time, stay well!

Hannah xx

#books and reading #hunger games #thg katniss #katniss everdeen #lucy gray baird #coriolanus snow #sejanus plinth #dr gaul #volumnia gaul #book review #thoughts

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thekimspoblog · 10 months

Note

Kim is confronted with the fact that her decision led to Howard’s death, put Jimmy in a position of almost being murdered, and she almost killed someone herself the night before. Kim is horrified by what she’s done and it becomes so unbearable that she has to leave the two things she loves most: Jimmy and the law , so she can live a life of penance in Florida. There kim struggles to make any decisions and exists as a shell of herself. She’s scared to make decisions because, as Rhea put it, “kim makes decisions and someone dies.” How you can’t see kim is forever and profoundly changed by that night smdh

Jimmy is putting on a brace face, but he’s profoundly terrified for her. He can see she’s in a very dark place. When kim leaves, this is another experience that hardens him and makes him more cynical, but as we see in the final episode, he’s always remained haunted by that night.

But she goes back to making decisions eventually right? She has to. I'm just saying, I've done some bad shit too. And I actually have to live with that guilt; as far as I know, I can't blame my actions on my hand being forced by bad stupid writing. Not to mention the whole "under capitalism we're all supporting atrocities" of it. But what I've learned is that people eventually always either snap back to where they were... or get worse. I'm not a big believer in self improvement.

Regardless of what the script or the actors say behind the scenes I'm looking at a show where everything about the visuals of the ending scream "I've learned nothing!".

Like sorry Rhea, but you're wrong. The cigarettes were the symbol of the toxicity of their relationship, and she's still smoking by the end. She's gone back to the law, if only in a limited capacity. And she lied again to get closer to Jimmy. The people who think she never saw him again, those people I actually have to contend with a tough pill to swallow. But the idea that anything about Kim has changed if she's still toying with the idea of getting him out? Horseshit. Showing me a script note which says "now the alcoholic has learned to drink in moderation" doesn't make it so. Especially when you spent the first five seasons explaining why moderation wasn't an option.

Traumatized for six years and in shock? Sure. Enough to finally shake her from the road she's on? Maybe I'm projecting a bit, but I really just don't think so.

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bacon-sandwich-of-dionysus · 1 year

Text

Baying Dogs (Rewrite); Chapter Five: Diagnosis

Hello! Sorry for the delay in uploading this, exams are well under way which I've been prioritising. I've also had a freak accident with boiling water and now I have a huge second-degree burn covering one of my arms... that's probably going to take some time to heal.

In the meantime, because I know there's going to be more delays in writing and uploading chapters, lol, have a cheeky lil reread :P. See if you need to rethink your suspects :).

Warnings for: Strong language, gore, body horror (only slight), mentions of violence and menstruation (this isn't me stigmatising, but I know it can still be a sensitive topic for some people so I am giving a heads' up)

Word count: 4, 972

He was horrified. He wanted to gag.

Eyes were wide, bulging.

All he could do was stare.

Price thought he was accustomed to violence and brutality, having been in this line of work for a while now. Even he himself had committed a few atrocities of his own. And yet, here he stood, at a loss for words, like he had just seen death for the first time.

The gore was almost… gratuitous.

“Gaz…” He finally managed to croak out, his voice barely above a whisper.

Dougs hadn’t uttered anything. She couldn’t. All she did was cover her mouth in shock as she knelt before the corpse, hoping if she stared long enough… his eyes would stare back.

Flies hovered above the body, occasionally swooping down to take fresh pickings of drying blood.

There wasn’t any heat to him anymore, guts no longer steaming.

Price drew in a shaky breath. He swallowed hard. The horror was subsiding and replacing it was grief, grief which bubbled just under the surface, just waiting to boil over into a froth of anger. The captain could feel it. He was inconsolable. Any mutterings of assurances, any condolences given in goodwill, would only piss him off. Whoever did this... because he damn well knew it was ‘who’. He had known it was a ‘who’ from the start. Only now, as he fell before Gaz’s eviscerated corpse, did he truly care.

This proved that the man hadn’t been hardened at all, nor had he grown numb.

Inside him was a heart which pounded in his chest and a stomach which growled for blood.

They would pay. The murderer would pay.

Slowly, he turned to Dougs.

“You found him like this?”

That wasn’t a question, that sounded like a demand.

His teeth were clenched, lips peeled back in a snarl.

“Yes, sir.”

“Just now?”

“I screamed when I saw him.”

“You better be telling the truth.”

She gulped.

“I am.”

Price exhaled and looked behind to the others.

“Who did this?”

“Sir, we need to report-”

“WHO DID THIS?!”

They straightened up, remaining silent.

Price looked back at the body. Protocol would demand he report to Shepherd and inform him of the death but… God! He needed time. Time to think. He had already acknowledged the reality of the situation but what to do about this information which sat before him, red and raked with gaping wounds.... had yet to be seen.

Gaz had been through a lot with him. Gaz had been his righthand man. Price had kicked off his career in this line of work, mentoring him from the very beginning. This wasn’t how things were supposed to end. Price should be in his place, with his guts out, bathing in the morning sun as it warmed his pallid skin. Gaz was the one who should be living.

The captain had had his heyday, his adventures, his progression.

Gaz hadn’t.

Graves knelt by him.

“Price, we need to report to Shepherd, now.”

Price was paralysed.

Graves shook him a little.

“Shepherd needs to know. Stat.”

Price nodded and got up.

He made to address all of them.

“Whoever’s done this. I’ll fucking find out either way so one of you better start thinking about fessing up. And when you do,” his voice was pretty much a growl, guttural with barely contained rage, “I’ll kill you.”

With that, he took his leave, letting Graves walk him back to the barracks.

And then, there were three.

Dougs could see something white amidst the red once more.

Another tooth?

She looked back to the two men standing behind her.

Soap met her eyes and quickly moved to avert her gaze. Eventually, he decided to head back into the dilapidated base.

Ghost lingered for a few moments longer, staring at the body… like he was in some sort of trance.

He was probably having a rude awakening, much like Price.

Soon, he too left.

I hope you stay put, Gaz.

The medic scurried off but came back in a flash. On both her hands were a pair of gloves, and in her dominant hand, a pair of tweezers. She did what she had done with Weir.

A little bit of twisting, some tugging, the occasional wrenching and hey presto!

In the pinch of her metal grip was another tooth.

Dougs sat by Gaz, cross-legged as the sun was beginning to sit high in the sky.

“I’m sorry, Gaz…” She sniffled, “I’ll find who did this. They’ll be sorry.”

The woman got up, tucking the tooth away into her breast pocket.

“And if I don’t. Make sure you haunt them for me, yeah?”

Dougs headed for the medical room, hoping she could compare the teeth and maybe sneak in some time to begin copying those files into her notebook. She needed to compile all the evidence she could get, because now she was certain this had been a set up.

And she had a feeling Weir did too.

Everyone around the woman was saying men had attacked, or figures of men at least, but Gaz had given Weir a different account.

“You know, it’s odd you two are saying men struck you because Sergeant Garrick over there said it was animals.”

Price had looked over to Gaz, who now had his head in his hands, leg jigging up and down.

“Animals?”

“Aye.”

Soap lowered his voice.

“Gaz is saying animals hit us?”

Weir shifted uncomfortably, rising to her full height from her previous position squatting by the bedside.

“He was the first of you to come to, all of you completely crashed when your bodies hit the beds.” Weir gave a small laugh, shaking her head before continuing, “When I asked about what happened and what I should build my report to General Shepherd on, Garrick said that Task Force 141 had been struck by a pack of animals.”

Price sighed, running a hand over his moustache.

“I think Gaz is pretty shaken up.” He proposed, “I think we all are. None of us were expecting this.”

“If I’m honest,” Weir ran a hand through her hair, “I think this whole thing is a botched job. Clearly, something’s off because we were told one thing and you were told-”

Once she was out of here, maybe Dougs could build a case? Get someone to look, get the right people to look at this.

She sighed.

All she could do was hope.

***

“This is Gold Eagle Actual.”

“Sir, Sergeant…” He took a deep breath, “Sergeant Kyle Garrick has been murdered.”

“Murdered?”

“Yes. Sergeant Garrick has been murdered. Don’t know exact time of death, but we found him in the morning just outside the base, Sergeant Burman-Douglas was the first to spot his body.”

“Garrick’s dead?”

“Yes, sir.”

Shepherd paused for thought.

“Garrick will be noted as K.I.A just as Weir is. Any questions?”

Price sighed. A silence fell between them.

“Status on transport?” He finally asked.

“Can’t say for sure. Northolt have been notified but we haven’t got confirmation on whether we can move into Ashdown Forest or not.” Shepherd was awfully blunt, “No transport has been officially scheduled.”

“But-”

“I’m sorry, Bravo 6. There’s not much I can do.”

Captain Price felt a pit in his stomach form.

Shepherd rubbed his temple, looking back to the beautiful view of the night sky behind him. The man was miles away from the crime scene and yet, he could imagine Price beginning to narrow his eyes.

“Do you suspect foul play?” The general decided to take the plunge and ask the question, his voice crackling a little on the radio.

Graves and Price looked at each other.

“Yes.” Price said, “I do.”

He only got a hum in reply. Whether it was of agreement or acknowledgement could not be determined.

“I’m sorry for your loss, Captain. Keep surviving and keep me posted.

As Price chucked the radio out of his hand, letting it land on the rucksack by his bed, something caught his eye.

Across from him, on the other side of the aisle, the bedframe was off. The metal looked a little bent, there were strange marks on the floor. Marks, which upon closer inspection, revealed themselves to be claw marks.

His eyebrows raised.

Graves watched him get up from his seat and head over to the other side, squatting before the odd one out. The man had shrugged off this sudden bout of curiosity from the captain, just glad that Shepherd had said he’d make sure Northolt would start hauling ass to get someone to them soon.

Price looked about the bed for more clues.

There were claw marks on the floor, along with scratches on the wall behind the headboard.

And whose bed was this?

Well, according to the bag and if memory served well, this was none other than… MacTavish’s.

His breaths grew a little unsteady.

He would wait until the evening, give the murderer a little time to feed his ego, to think he had gotten away with it but, once they were having dinner, Price knew what he’d do.

Graves did too.

Phillip decided he’d use the time Price had given Soap to deliberate on whether he should let John do what he was about to do.

***

A small knock sounded on the doorframe of the medical room.

“Come in!” Dougs called, as she finished packing away her notebook.

Footsteps tentatively crept in, and she turned around to see Soap. However, he wasn’t looking too great. All the colour had drained from the man’s face and he seemed skittery, eyes darting about. She rose up from her squatted position by her bag, not entirely facing him, almost in a combat-ready stance.

“Soap… what’s wrong?”

He seemed almost reluctant to tell, his face twisting a little as an internal debate ensued.

She noticed he kept his right arm close to his chest, hidden with his left sitting on top of it.

“Soap?” She asked, softening her voice a little.

With tears welling in his eyes, he made to meet her gaze.

“I think it’s me, doc.”

He revealed what he had been hiding.

Dougs’ mouth was held agape.

Be professional. Don’t gawk. Don’t gawk.

Alarm bells were going off in her head, though.

His nails were beyond recognisable, blood crusting the edges where keratin met skin. His hand shook as he raised it up for her to get a better look. As she examined more closely, she realised that his nails had in fact been virtually destroyed, split apart by the rupturing of blackened claws.

“Holy shit…”

What she also spotted was strange black veins which spread from his newly emerged claws. They were faint, almost looking like they had been painted on by a thin makeup brush. Except there was a warmth to them, like they were organic structures, with blood flowing through them… a stark contrast to the paling skin they sat under.

“Sit on the bed, Soap.”

He nodded and hopped up.

Dougs sanitised her hands and slapped on the third-to-last remaining pair of gloves. She gestured for him to rest his hand in hers as she eyed them closely, getting a feel for the claws.

“Does it hurt when I press them like this?”

Gently, she applied some pressure to the skin around one of the talons. Soap winced.

“Yep.”

“Okay…” Dougs chewed on her lip, “Could you tell me when this happened?”

“Just now. I… I was in the bathroom, washing my hands when I felt this itching. I gave in, scratched at the back of my hand, around my knuckles when…”

“When what?”

“My hand just locked up, like it was spasming. And then, these pop out.”

“Did it hurt?”

“Yeah, but only for a moment. Now, they just sting.”

She really wasn’t sure what to do, nor was she sure what he wanted her to do.

Dougs sighed, though, in her exasperation and indecision, it came out more like a snort. Had she not have her gloves on, she would have scratched her head or stroked her chin. Instead, she resorted to spinning on the wheeled stool she sat on by Soap as a way of fidgeting as she thought.

MacTavish watched her slowly spin side to side, face making an array of ponderous expressions as she considered each and every action she could and couldn’t take.

Dougs definitely couldn’t remove the claws, they looked fixed in place, like his nails would have been. Alsos, removing them could cause more trouble anyway: more pain, increased risk of infection and so on. That was an abysmal idea. She could clean them up a little, though, which might help with the stinging in the long term and prevent infection from getting into the little open wounds from which those talon-like protrusions sprouted from. It was also the easiest thing to do.

Let’s go with the manicure.

“Okay, so, I can’t remove them, but I can clean them.”

Soap didn’t really look satisfied with that.

“Is… Is that it?”

“There’s not really much else. Plus, it might help with seeing what exactly is going on. That dried blood could be obscuring some information.” She suggested.

He shrugged but seemed to agree.

Dougs smiled and swivelled round before scooting over to the kit to grab a few alcohol wipes, some cotton balls, TCP, should it be required, and a bag to dispose them in.

Soap held out his hand. It quivered, which put Dougs at unease. As she tore open a wipe, she noticed the hand beginning to shake more.

Oh no… Don’t do this to me again.

She had to see it through, though! She had gotten everything out now, and she was also a tad bit curious to see what was under the blood. At this point, Dougs was ready to do just about anything if it would shed some light on this absolute disaster of a situation. Her hand hovered above Soap’s.

It was really shaking now.

“Soap, can you try and steady your hand?”

“I can’t.”

He was going to break her wrist, wasn’t he?

Was this a trap?

Was she taking the bait?

“Soap, do you want me to steady it? I can hold your hand still if need be.”

At least then she’d have some control over his arm.

And she was prepared to leap out of the way if he struck out with the other.

Dougs looked calm on the outside, taking steady breaths as she gestured for him to lay his wrist on her open palm, but make no mistake, outward appearances can be deceiving. Inside, she was screeching, a voice repeating in her head over and over for her to not do this. However, like with a wild animal, if you make a sudden move, they’ll respond. Dougs hoped if she gave out a calm aura, Soap wouldn’t freak out.

“Okay, so I’m just going to lightly dab-”

CRAAAACK!

“AHHHH!”

“AHHH!”

Both her and Soap jolted backwards.

His hand had steadied a little, before locking up, fingers tensing, then releasing and with that release… a new length of claws extended upwards. They pushed out with this awful sound, like some bones deep within Soap’s hand were snapping. With that, small tears had also formed on the back of his hand and on his forearm. Tears which bled a little, and also had… hair sprouting from the gashes.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” He shrieked, scrambling backwards, almost falling off the edge of the bed, “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!”

Dougs tried to shush him, not wanting to alert the barracks.

“Soap, let’s not panic, panicking will make this worse-”

“Dougs, look at my hand!”

He shoved it in her face.

“Look at it!”

Okay, yeah… looking.

Dougs gently moved his hand aside and rested it on his lap.

“We can’t lose our heads. You can’t lose your head, understood?”

His eyes were reddening with brewing tears, lip quivering. Blue eyes stared right into her soul, pleadingly.

“It’s me. I killed them, didn’t I?”

His voice was hoarse, whistling out his throat.

“What have I done, doc? What’s happening to me?”

Dougs paused for thought, wanting to avoid his eyes but they just followed her wherever she went. It was clear he had come to her for a diagnosis, for an answer, whether that confirmed his fears or not. She was his key. And yet, Soap found himself grinding his teeth, impatient, as she cursed him with unbearable silence. Dougs kept her eyes on the ground, once again swivelling side to side on her chair slowly, trying to think. It would be wrong to just regurgitate some falsehood and send him on his merry way but on the other hand, she hated to be the bearer of bad news which was ironic seeing as she was a doctor and that was part of the job.

She had to admit, if it was him, it was strange he had come to her. Sure, maybe telling everyone, especially Price would be a death sentence given his current state but… her?

Well, she supposed maybe the beast knew she had been snooping around. Actually, she didn’t suppose. She met him. Last night, down the hall.

This admission of guilt… Slowly, Dougs’ gaze rose to meet Soap.

He looked almost like a lost pup, eyebrows raised, peaking in the middle, while his eyes remained big and alert. A small flush was building on his face, distress and no doubt illness contributing to the slightly ruddy complexion.

She sighed and looked away briefly.

“It was me, wasnae it?”

“Are you asking, or telling me?” Dougs tilted her head to one side.

“I-”

“Honestly.”

He hung his head low.

“I don’t know.”

She leaned in, looking him in the eye, closely.

Soap held his breath, unsure of what to do as the medic just stared right into his soul. He backed up a little, as Dougs inched a little closer, eyes narrowing.

“It’s not you. It can’t be you.”

He was taken aback.

“What?”

She sighed and got on with cleaning up his bloodied hand.

“Dougs, what?”

The woman simply shrugged.

“It’s not you.”

He scoffed, letting out a small, hysterical giggle.

“What do you mean by that? It could be me. Dougs, A’ve got bloody claws!”

To his surprise, she shook her head.

“Just making sure, this is the first time this has happened?” Dougs queried, gesturing with an alcohol swab in hand.

Soap nodded.

“Yeah,” she chuckled, “I don’t think it’s you.”

What the…?

“Do you know something?”

Oooh, that was a good question. Dougs’ lips were pulled tightly into a thin line as she deliberated. She didn’t take Soap as the kind of guy to keep his mouth shut, especially when it came to something like this. He could very well oust her to the whole group if he thought that was the right thing to do, or perhaps share it with a confidante and who would then pass it along. There weren’t many of them left, if someone told someone and then that someone told someone else, it wouldn’t take long for the word to circulate.

A pang of guilt tugged at her heartstrings. He was scared, she could see that clearly.

Well, let’s see if he’s one for confidentiality.

“Can you keep a secret?”

He nodded, raising an eyebrow.

Dougs turned around and, to his surprise, took out the files like there was nothing to them.

“Uh… Dougs?!”

“Shh!”

The way she just brazenly put them on his lap, bold as brass.

She then walked up to the door, checked the hallways for any spies, before closing it.

“Open them.” She pointed to them.

Soap did so.

His eyes widened.

This… this was him. All these symptoms were him now and him to come.

Like an oracle telling the dreaded truths to come, the files bore details that filled his gut with dismay. His throat grew dry as he swallowed hard. Panic fluttered in his stomach.

Gently, he turned the page, only to be met with graphic images of bloodied jaws and… clawed hands.

“Oh my God…”

Dougs sat in front of him, tucking a lose braid behind her ear.

“Shepherd burned us.” Her face was serious, “More specifically, he’s burned you lot.”

“I… I’m going to…”

Soap’s grip on the files tightened a little.

“Hey! Don’t damage ‘em!” She quickly took the manila case from him, “Last thing we need is sticklers realising we’ve been meddling with them!”

His breaths had grown a little ragged. He clutched the sides of his head.

Dougs looked back to see he was beginning to freak out. Really freak out.

“Hey… Hey…” She knelt before him, gently removing his hands before he could hurt himself, “We’re going to survive this.”

“What if they take me away?! Do shit to me?! You’re fine! You’re immune!”

She ran her tongue over her teeth, letting out a small sigh of resignation.

“Soap, I’m on the menu.” That took a lot for her to say, “My fate isn’t either I live to be infected or die. Mine is just death.”

A lump formed in her throat.

Her worst fears were coming true.

This was a whole other level.

Hungry eyes were going to have a whole new meaning.

She stood up, trying to compose herself so she could comfort him properly. As Dougs was about to turn around, to briefly take her mind away from the present, Soap seized her. Her body gave a small jolt backwards at the sudden movement and consequent entrapment. His arms tightened around her waist.

That’s when she heard it: quiet sobs.

MacTavish had finally cracked.

He cried into her, sniffling, voices circulating around his head telling him he was doomed, telling him he was a disgusting animal.

Even if nothing happened… he’d still kill innocents either way.

That was his diagnosis: cursed.

Her hands hovered over him. She was still taken aback.

Only, to realise, as the sobs became more intense, she should probably be kind.

Dougs hushed him, letting him weep into her uniform. Despite feeling the sensation of cold as his tears soaked through, Dougs could also feel heat.

“I’m sorry…” he mumbled, gulping for air, his breath trying to catch up.

Softly, she placed her hands on his shoulders, rubbing circles with her thumbs as she looked to the door, staring idly off into the distance.

***

Ghost watched Soap hurriedly leave the medical room, wiping his face. He followed the man with his eyes, only for his attention to be diverted by new movement from his periphery.

Dougs leaned out of the doorway, looking drained.

He saw her drop her shoulders as she held the frame of the entrance.

Then, she stretched her arms out, deciding to head for the barracks.

Ghost spotted red.

A light tap was felt on Dougs’ shoulder. She turned around to see Riley looming over her.

He seemed awkward though, robotic almost, as he did his best to meet her gaze.

“Uh… Dougs,” he cleared his throat, “Dougs, you’re… bleeding.”

She looked up at him quizzically. Then, she looked down at herself and realised.

“Oh… fuck.” The woman groaned, “Rhaatid!”

She shouldn’t have ignored the cramping in her legs yesterday and this morning. She was also feeling fairly bloated, but she had just chalked that up to the shitty camping food. A sharp wave hit her, pinching right at her navel. And what followed was cold.

Toilet! Toilet! Toilet, now!

She began heading straight ahead, for the latrine, only to then change direction sharply for the barracks.

Spare trousers! Get spare trousers! No, toilet! Toilet after!

With that change of plan, Ghost watched the medic stop waddling ahead to then spinning on her heel to make for the barracks. Only she stopped, stood by the wall adjacent to the entrance.

She had no shame regarding this but… well, she sort of did, and the not-so-distant chatter between Price and Graves in the room punched a pit n her stomach. She didn’t want them to see. Didn’t want them to ask questions. They probably would pay no attention but… she didn’t know for sure.

This wasn’t supposed to be complicated. Dougs was overthinking it. A twinge of guilt flicked at her chest.

Her heart began to beat a little faster.

Dougs counted herself down. This was going to be quick. In and out. Get her spare clothes and whatever sanitary product was stashed in the depths of her rucksack and run away.

3… 2…

As she was about to go in, Ghost stopped her.

“Go to the bathroom.” He said, “I’ll get your shit. What do you need?”

Well… I mean… Okay!

“Spare trousers, underwear and see if there’s like a tampon or pad somewhere. I can’t remember if there’s a pack stashed or not but… yeah.”

“Copy. Go clean yourself up, Dougs.”

She smiled.

“Affirmative.”

Dougs found herself sitting on the toilet of the ramshackle bathroom just feeling grateful that they had running water. This place was a shithole, yes, but at least it was a functioning shithole.

There are worse shitholes.

She jigged her leg up and down, filling her cheeks with air and then blowing it out as she waited. The room was cold, and she felt that on her bare skin. Across from her sat her soiled garments, glimpse of red appearing between the folds as they sat sadly slumped in a pile.

She knew this would happen, seeing as the documents did say being in the presence of someone infected would cause menstrual bleeding for whatever reason; but she thought her birth control would save her from that.

Apparently not.

It would seem that lycanthropy trumps birth control.

A small knock sounded on the door. Then, it creaked slightly open, just wide enough for Ghost to get his arm through.

“Got your things.” He stated, waving the items in the air.

“Thanks.”

She leaned forward to grab them off of him.

***

“So,” Graves sighed, looking over his cards, “you still don’t want to open those files?”

Price shifted uncomfortably in his seat, not bothering to make eye contact.

“Shepherd will find out someone’s looked at them and that’ll cause us even more trouble.”

Graves sighed, poking his cheek with his tongue.

“I think we should. Something’s not right here.”

“Something’s not been right from the beginning.” The captain replied, stroking his moustache, just above his upper lip.

With a growl, Graves chucked the playing cards onto the ground and got up, marching to the medical room.

“Graves!” Price called after him.

He began to follow the man, occasionally reaching out to try and grab his arm, only to sorely miss.

Soon enough, he had been led to the dreaded room. Graves grabbed the waterproof bag and set in on the table. Then, like the implications and possible consequences of this action would mean nothing, he pulled out the manila files and spread them on the examination bed.

“We’re fucked.” Price shook his head.

“Ah, we were fucked from the start. Besides, it’s not like I wasn’t gonna get my hands on these files anyway.”

The captain cocked his head to one side.

“What do you mean?”

“I suppose a confession is in order, Captain.”

Price’s stomach twisted itself into knots as his muscles began to tense.

“I was going to steal these files off of y’all. Now, don’t do anything rash. I can explain. Shepherd hired my Shadows and I to get them off of y’all should things go wrong. My company is to be granted some of the spoils either way, whether you survived or not. Of course, we all know what happened to the Shadow team…”

Yep, they did all know. Graves was the sole survivor, getting dragged in by Dougs and Weir, howling at the top of his lungs in agony. His team had gotten it good, and the poor man would have most likely died if he hadn’t been found.

There were no more Shadows, but there was still Graves. He’d still get his prize if he lived.

“This is all a set up?”

“What do you think?”

Price paced back and forth. He should have known. No, he did know. He knew damn fucking well. He just didn’t want to admit it because he was scared. Weir’s remarks and her subsequent death had made it clear, but Price didn’t want to pay attention to it until the truth smacked him in the face.

“Fuck it. Open those files. If I’m dying, I’m dying in the know.”

He pulled up Dougs’ wheeled stool and took a seat.

The two men scanned over the pages, making all sorts of faces as they tried to miss the images that came along with the text. Price had never been good with graphic visuals; he would much rather have those things left to his imagination.

As Graves flicked over to the next page, Price grabbed his hand.

“Wait, go back.”

Phillip did so.

“The female participants instead experienced altered menstrual cycles… which resumed to their normal cycles once women were taken out of the experiment and away from the infected.” He read aloud.

Graves looked up to meet him, eyebrows raised.

“We can figure out who it is.” Price declared, a little glee glinting in his eye.

“How?”

“Whoever was in Dougs’ company when she started bleeding.”

“Are you sure that’ll do it?”

“Worth a try, ain’t it?”

Graves shrugged, scrunching his face up a little.

“How do we even know if she’s gotten her period?”

“We can ask.”

Graves burst out laughing.

“Ask?” He chuckled, “You think you can ask that and get an answer?”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

The captain looked genuinely confused.

“Please!” Graves did his best to catch his breath, “You can’t ask. We got no time to ask.”

“Graves, what are you suggesting?”

#cod mw ii fic #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #phillip graves #captain john price #the plot thickens again!#baying dogs

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studiojeon · 3 years

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bitterness in goodbye | jjk

this is part of my troubled outsiders series. sadly, you can't read this as a stand alone (meaning: feel free to check the previous parts ♡)

| summary | - You can’t help but feel a little sad when Jungkook doesn’t refrain from cuddling your arm after pleading to forgive him. You wish you could cuddle him instead, that he would lay his head on your chest as you play with his soft hair, but you recognize there are some things you just can’t have.

warnings: none (?) i mean chaeryeong insults jungkook which is an atrocity in itself but-

contents: we diving into the angst my friends. jungkook is an innocent, kind hearted soul, i promise. oc's got the feels (out oct. 1) for jk. idol!jungkook × student!reader.

author's note: I EDITTED THIS FROM MY PHONE DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKING ANNOYING THAT IS? also, thank u for the amount of support i've been receiving lately, i appreciate everyone lots. feel free to ask away or suggest anything btw, i would love to write for any prompts you guys come up with. 💞💗💖💘💓💕

words: 1.57k

playlist: honey by halsey

Four weeks later, the receptionist of your apartment complex hands you over a cardboard box with the hoodie Jungkook and you had talked about that day on the Han River. Jungkook kept pestering you to please please please send him your address for confidential purposes, which you knew had to do with his determination to literally provide anything that catches your eye right away. You assumed it was a sensitive topic for the boy whether people had purposefully taken advantage of his money before, so you didn’t dare to say anything when the man asked you for your size literally two hours after he dropped you off, scared to either reject his solidare intentions or piss him off for bringing unwanted memories back. In your defense, your personality type keeps oscillating between INFP and INFJ so it’s only natural that you take extra care to make sure those around you have as much peace of mind as possible in your presence.

As pretty and comfortable the piece of soft clothing is, an important factor is missing, something that you can’t recreate buying two of the same size and color, and that is Jungkook's escence and how good it looks on him in comparison to anyone else in the world. Meaning, you didn’t like it as much as you thought initially would. And it absolutely did not have to do with the fact that your short stature made you look like a toddler who stole their dad’s jacket.

Still, in order to show Jungkook how much you appreciate his gift, you bring it to work the next day, and the rest of the days after that, with the excuse that with winter rolling around you needed something to keep you warm in the office. Jungkook doesn’t miss the opportunity to confirm your assumptions regarding your appearance whenever he barges into your office randomly throughout the week, arguing that ”you look so adorable” and doesn’t stop for two weeks more, until he gets used to seeing you wearing something you shared with him. Which doesn’t help ease your growing romantic feelings for him whatsoever.

Because yeah, you liked Jeon Jungkook, just like every human being with eyes and sexual desires, except, you didn’t just like him in a superficial way, and that’s where the problem with him resides. Though you are sure everyone has fallen in love with the endearing boy at some point - especially the excluded and invalidated women of society - you can’t help but place some blame on you for allowing yourself to be swooned so goddamn easily. Your mom had said to you at some point to be wary of the way some men would talk to you when you grew up, their intention usually being getting inside your pants, which has happened to you more times than you'd like to admit. And with the argument that she knew you better than anyone, she claimed you would comply right the second someone talked sweet to you; you despised the fact that was the case with Jungkook (and Jungkook only), although he had never shown any sexual innuendos. What your feelings could do to your relationship with Jungkook and your rather chill lifestyle scared you to death, shiver me timbers and all that shit, having romantic feelings for someone else is embarrassing, especially when your chance with them has been scratched out the second you laid eyes on them.

Jungkook sits on your couch, legs spread on your thighs as you two pretend to watch some series on netflix. “I don’t buy for a second the act you’re putting on right now.” he speaks randomly after staring at your deep-in-thought state for a few minutes and laughs when you snap at him for not letting you overthink in peace. “What’s going on?”

Truth is, you don’t fucking know. A few hours before he arrived at your place (you had to pick him up at the dorm and sneak the both of you through the subterranean parking lot, because god forbid someone saw Jungkook arriving at some chick’s dorm on a saturday afternoon) you swore you would be able to conceal whatever emotional turmoil you had going inside of you without compromising your regular behaviour around the man, but when push comes to shove, it’s impossible to keep yourself from wondering how far you could go before that special someone found out what was going on inside of your head.

Jungkook’s phone rings in his pocket with some annoying tone he had downloaded illegally from youtube the same day the company had handed over the device as a gift for him (you still were a little bitter over how they neglected the rest of the staff but you also knew it was kind of impossible for the human kind to just gift a-thousand-dollar-phones to almost five hundred people out of solidarity). “Hyung?” he picks up, still wary of your unusual behaviour, concerned eyes looking at you. “No, uh- i’m with Yugyeom right now.” and your heart shatters into a million pieces.

You have been suspecting for a while that Jungkook is being hesitant to introduce you to his social circle. Although, you’ve tried your best not to take it personal, it is getting harder to resist the urge to ask him what the fuck is up with that. The fact that Jungkook had to lie about the person he was hanging out with broke your ego; he could’ve just said he was with a friend, right? You suddenly feel like you’re fifteen again, when the guy you liked would love you in the dark but pretend he didn’t know you in the light.

Holding your tears back, you gently push him off and make your way towards the bathroom in the most nonchalant way you could. This is your fault for falling for the nice popular guy in the first place, you remind the reflection staring back at you. Still, as bad as it hurt, there was no way you were going to cry over a stupid boy, let alone when he was literally sat on the next room. He can go fuck himself if he thinks he can just toss this behind as if nothing ever happened.

You text Chaeryeong instead.

“chaery bom bom: i swear to god i gonna throw hands the next time i see the bitch.

chaery bom bom: like who the hell does he think he is? fucking squidward looking asshole.

chaery bom bom: he ain’t even that cute bub, you’ll get over him. i know jinyoung wouldn’t treat you like this”

You sigh. Chaeryeong has been enamored with the idea of you and his former company colleague from GOT7 since the day she met the guy (which was somewhere around ten years ago), and although he was all that, you didn’t like his quiet and cold aura, it intimidated the fuck out of you (Jungkook was the entire opposite of that).

You spray on some perfume just to have an excuse as to why you randomly ran to the bathroom when Jungkook’s inquiring eyes stare as you sit back on the couch, which is exactly what he does. “You done with your call?” you ask, bitter.

Jungkook frowns, a bit taken aback by the sudden question but still unaware of the way his words had made you feel, not even sensing the hostile change in your mood. “Yes, it was one of our managers. He was wondering if I could come back to reshoot some...-thing.”

Okay, now you kind of understand as to why he lied in the first place and to say you feel guilty is an understatement. “I supposed he backed down once you mentioned you were hanging out with Yugyeom.” playfulness makes its appearance on your tone and Jungkook rolls his eyes at you, tongue poking on the inside of his slightly red cheeks.

“Sorry for that” he moves closer and cuddles your arm, like a sad guilty puppy. “It’s just- I don’t want them asking questions''.

You understand. He is a very reserved and private person after all. It took you a bit to crack him open yourself. Plus, you kind of share that trait with him, you’d hate it too if people were constantly on your nerves for the people you decide to hang out with.

And that’s all it takes to forgive him. Not very cash money of you.

“You better not pull that shit again, though” you shift in his hold and he looks up at you. One look into your eyes and he knows what you mean. “I’ll kick you out.”

After nodding, Jungkook resumes his concentration on the series you picked out for him. Due to your short attention span, you are very picky about what you invest your time in, especifically with audiovisual pieces of media, so Jungkook trusts you whenever you recommend something on very rare occasions. As a matter of fact, Jungkook was busy attacking your kitchen counters for snacks (which you didn’t have) when you mentioned Money Heist. “Munch on some grapes instead” you suggested to soothe his disappointment.

You can’t help but feel a little sad when Jungkook doesn’t refrain from cuddling your arm after pleading to forgive him. You wish you could cuddle him instead, that he would lay his head on your chest as you play with his soft hair, but you recognize there are some things you just can’t have.

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fireheart118 · 2 years

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‼️𝙂𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙗𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝘼𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙧𝙨‼️

I really need to talk about this and I don't want to ruin if for any but I need to get this out before it drives me insane. When I get super passionate about something this is what happens. Now, I don't think I've ever written a review or anything like it before but here I am giving it a go. It's really just my thoughts and opinions on Ghostbusters Afterlife.

𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗲 𝗴𝗼

For starters, is raised on Ghostbusters and a few other franchises. My dad is a movie lover and has been taking me to see movies since I was small. Jurassic Park, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, James Bond and Ghostbusters. To name a few of the franchises he raised me on. So I was watching the first Ghostbusters in diapers basically, he'd sing the song to me sometimes to put me to bed. No joke. So the Ghostbusters franchise means alot to me. When you're raised on a film or series i think that love for it sticks with you forever and carries over into your adulthood. It certainly did for me when it comes to all the franchises I listed above. But I'm getting off topic here. Point is Ghostbusters is important to me.

When I first heard they were making another one, after the one with the female cast I was concerned. Considering I hates every single second of that one, it didn't feel right to me. It honestly felt like they were making a mockery of such a beloved classic that it just enraged me. No offense to the cast, because they're all great actresses but that movie an atrocity and should've 𝗡𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 happened. Like I said it moreso felt like they were poking fun at the original and that just made me mad. So yeah, I was concerned. But when I heard Finn Wolfhard and Mckenna Grace were going to be in this one I got excited. They are two actors that I have a lot of love and respect for. They're two very powerful young actors in Hollywood who never cease to amaze me with what they can do. The range they both have is even better than their adult costars most of the time. They're very talented for their ages. Knowing they were going to be apart of this put me at ease a little, over time I got excited but in the back of my mind lingered that sliver of doubt. Because we all know how bad sequels can be.

I waited forever to see this movie, tried not to let anything spoil it. Only watched one of the trailers. I wanted to go into this fresh. I didn't want to know too much about it. I wanted to see it opening night, but I couldn't. So I saw it the next night after work. My friend and her nephew accompanied me. I'll say it now if you want to take young kids to this it's definitely family friendly. Her nephew is eight and he loved it.

To say I was on the edge of my seat through it would've been an understatement. I laughed alot, I got alot of nostalgia and of course there were tears. I don't want to spoil too much but when Egon Spengler is mentioned I get teary eyes. As a kid, my favorites were always Spengler and Venkman. I'd argue they're two of the best characters in the franchise along with Dana. Because Sigourney Weaver is a boss. Shes phenomenonal in anything she's casted in to be honest.

Spengler meant alot to me because he's always reminded me of my dad. They act alot alike and they're both SUEPR intelligent, they try to be funny and it doesn't always work. But they try. He just always made me think of my dad, who is my best friend. So you can imagine the passing of Harold really effected me. I was young when it happened but I know it upset me. He was an absolute legend, honestly this crummy world didn't deserve him but we were blessed with his presence anyway.

Any time he was mentioned or even shown in Afterlife I was crying and I mean really crying. I love the little tributes they did to him throughout the film it really got to me. They definitely knew what they were doing.

𝗦𝗽𝗼𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴

Then at the end when we got to see his ghost. Now, that really got me. I was sobbing like a baby as were most of the people in the theater. Did I mention it was sold out?? Seeing Harold as Spengler one last time was the best gift in the world and I was so happy and yet so sad at the same time. Because I knew it truly would be the end. I'll probably never see him as Spengler again and that hurt more than I can express.

So, I highly recommend this movie to anyone who loves Ghostbusters as much as I do. Even if you've never gotten to see the classic itself, which is suggested before seeing this one..you can honestly watch this one without it. It's great for the whole family and im so happy it exists.

I definitely give it a 10/10. Best movie I've seen all year.

#ghostbusters #ghostbusters afterlife #finn wolfhard #mckenna grace #paul rudd

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latte-fairytaekwoon · 3 years

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𝑺𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝑫𝒐𝒘𝒏 (𝑲𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝒀𝒆𝒐𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒈) 𝑹𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅

Pairing: BFF! Kang Yeosang (Ateez)/ BFF! Reader (Female)

Genre: Smut, Slight Angst, Fluff, Non Idol! AU.

Synopsis: Yeosang decides to show and prove to his best friend that slow and sensual sex is superior to rough fucking.

Word Count: Around 3-4K

Warnings: Mentions of smoking/drinking, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, nipple play, semi-drunk sex, sex taping (with consent), sweet vanilla sex with music/ led lights in the background, protective sex that transitions to unprotected (always do safe sex), creampie, best friend/ non-romantic relationship (?)

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"Room for one more?"

Turning her head in the direction of the deep, husky voice next to her, Y/N shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't really care. Not my place anyhow."

She lifted the almost finished cigarette to her lips. Taking a small puff of it, she blew out the smoke with then turned back to the dark brown male that had now taken a seat next to her on the porch.

"Want the last one?" She held up her cancer stick for him to take.

"No thanks." He shook his head.

Y/N scoffed at that. "What? Not hard enough for someone like you?"

Throwing the tiny butt onto the ground, she didn't care at all to put it out. Rolling his eyes, Yeosang extended his leg to finish the task of making sure she didn't set anything on fire.

"Sucker." Y/N repeated what she'd often call him.

"Dumbass." He counteracted her attack with his own nickname for her.

"Why are you even out here? Wouldn't you rather be inside and join in on the fun?" She asked him.

Picking up a nearby stick, Yeosang began drawing random shapes on the ground below him.

"What do you classify as fun? I mean, besides destroying your lungs and aging faster."

"Haha, you're so fucking hilarious." Y/N replied sarcastically.

"As if you're any better Yeo. I'm surprised you're not stumbling back to your shitty apartment with either Hwa or Joong helping your wasted ass."

"Need I remind you that you practically live in my so called 'shitty' apartment cause your roommate can't stand you at the dorms." He snorted at her.

"It's not that she can stand me! I can't stand her bringing her douche boyfriend in the middle of the night or at odd hours of the day just so they can fuck each other's brains out!" She exclaimed in frustration.

Smirking at her, Yeosang couldn't help himself as he said:

"Maybe you should get your brain fucked out once in a while. Might help you be a little less bitchy."

Y/N scoffed.

"I'm not bitchy and I certainly don't need it."

"Your face says you do. Like seriously Y/N, when was the last time you got a good fuck? Let me guess. Probably 8 months ago when you let Youngbin pound you behind the bleachers?" He laughed at her.

"Ok! You know what?! Fuck you Yeosang! I can't believe you brought that up!"

Standing up, she began to storm away from him, away from the party and decided to just go to the nearest bus stop so she could go hide under her bed and pretend she didn't exist. Crossing her arms over her chest, she shivered slightly when a slight breeze blew against her. But still she continued walking, not paying attention to the voice calling out for her from behind. She had gotten a block away from where she was when she heard the sound of something scraping against the pavement behind her.

"You're hard to find." Yeosang came up next to her, his feet firmly planted on the skateboard under him.

"And you're hard to get rid of." She threw a passive aggressive smile in his direction.

"Listen..." Shifting the board to the left, he blocked her from walking any further.

"I'm sorry ok? I didn't mean to upset you." He apologized.

"You didn't really upset me.....I just hate bringing that jerk up again."

Yeosang chuckled at her pouty expression. Getting off the skateboard, he kicked down on one of the sides, making it fly up so he could catch it with his hand and tuck it under his elbow.

"Come on. Wanna hang out at my place tonight?" He offered.

"Still got leftover booze from last time?" She asked in anticipation.

"Now who's the alcoholic here snip?"

═━═━═━═━═━══━═━═━═━═━═

It was well past 11 and Y/N had already downed more than half the bottle of the hard liquor. She lifted the glass up again to her lips when she was stopped by her friend beside her.

"Easy tiger. I think you've had more than enough."

Taking the bottle away from her, he wiped the top off before taking a quick gulp before setting it down somewhere next to him.

"I'm not even drunk yet.." Y/N mumbled out.

"Certainly not, but you're definitely not sober. So I'd say you're just a tad bit tipsy."

Y/N shoved him with her shoulder when he tried to lean his head on her.

"No. Go away. I'm still mad at you." She barked at him, clicking her tongue in annoyance.

"So I take it I'm sleeping on the couch again?" Yeosang raised an eyebrow at her.

"Well I certainly aren't. Shit's uncomfortable af."

Standing up, she threw her crop sweater over her head and tossed it somewhere in the room, her black shorts soon following after. Yeosang barely batted an eyelash at his friend's actions, so used to her walking around half naked around his place.

Slumping down on the bed, she reached into Yeosang's dresser and opened the drawer, knowing she'd find his stash of tootsie pops in it. Picking out a cherry flavored one, she unwrapped it and popped it in her mouth, discarding the wrapper on the waste bin a few feet away from her. Turning on her back, she hummed softly before taking the lollipop out of her mouth momentarily to pat on the empty space next to her and say:

"Sangie, come here. I wanna cuddle."

Yeosang grumbled at her words.

"Whatever happened to me sleeping on the couch?"

"Never said you should. Now come on." She repeated at him.

Yeosang sighed in disbelief, seriously questioning why he even put up with his friend for so long. Removing his plaid pullover hoodie and black skinny jeans, leaving him in just a plain white T-shirt and his black briefs, he slid down next to Y/N and wrapped one of his arms around her waist.

"Happy now?" He inquired of her.

Y/N shifted a little so that they ended up in a more comfortable spooning position.

"Yeah I guess." She murmered softly.

Yeosang began to draw circles across her hip, occasionally pulling the side of her black panty and making it snap against her skin, making Y/N swat his hand away whenever he did.

"Can I have some?" Yeosang gestured to the candy in her mouth.

Pulling it out with a loud 'popping' noise, Y/N held it out for him to take. Putting it in his mouth, Yeosang sucked in it briefly then took a small bite out of it before handing it back to her.

"Heathen." Y/N derided him when she saw the mutilated lollipop.

"Puss." He snickered at her.

They laid there in silence for a few minutes, the only sound coming from them was the occasional sighs or hums that would elude from their mouths. Getting tired and bored of the painful lack of noise, Yeosang reached for his phone and connected it to his bluetooth speakers. Scrolling through his playlist, he smiled smugly as he found the one song he had been listening a lot to lately and did not hesitate to start playing it. Y/N jolted a little when the blaring of trumpets resonated through the room.

"Jesus fucking christ, why must it start in such an unholy manner?" She complained as she shifted a little in Yeosang's embrace.

Yeosang couldn't help but laugh softly.

"And you know that's not the unholy part about it."

Y/N couldn't help but smile at the sincerity of his words and especially not when the first verses started.

~Tell me what it is you wanna know

Finish up the bottle then we'll go, babe~

"Speaking of which, we didn't finish our bottle."

Y/N made a move to get up, but Yeosang pulled her back down, this time making her lay on top of him.

"Kang Yeosang!" She grunted at him, eyebrows furrowing at him.

"Snippy pants." He winked at her then placed a kiss to her nose.

His hands began to travel down the curve of her lower back, momentarily resting on her ass, his fingers digging into her soft skin.

~I'm too phased, it's too late

But coming down is all I ever do, babe, yeah~

"Pervert." Y/N accused him when he slapped her ass lightly.

"You weren't complaining when Youngbin-"

Y/N silenced him with a kiss to his lips, her tongue running across his upper lip. Yeosang tried to capture her tongue with his teeth, but she pulled back before he got the chance, making him whine softly.

"Mention that atrocity one more time and I will blow up your dick." She threatened him.

Yeosang couldn't help but poke fun at her.

"I wouldn't necessarily say no. I've heard your blowjob stories."

Y/N smacked his chest.

"What?! You think guys don't talk about it around me? They don't hold back just because we're close." He ruffled her hair.

"What about you? How come I never hear any stories from you? Is our little Sangie an actual saint?" She jeered at him.

Yeosang smiled softly, his hands pulling on Y/N's bra strap.

"First of all, let me assure you I'm not little.."

Lifting his hips up slightly, he grinded against her so she could feel his semi hard on. Y/N widened her eyes momentarily, her subconscious wishing he'd repeat the action one more time.

"And I'm not a saint. I'm just not as promiscuous as the other guys, that are into rough fucking all the girls in our class." He explained as he moved Y/N's strap so it fell off her shoulder.

Y/N couldn't help but look at him incredulous.

"Seriously? Getting fucked like a pornstar is one of the best feelings ever. Best kind of sex there is."

"I beg to differ babygirl. I find it to be completely overrated." He mused softly before placing a kiss to her exposed shoulder.

~And I'm so down if you're ready

I'm floating but I'm heavy

And I'll show you if you let me, girl~

"So what? You mean to tell me vanilla sex is better?" She rolled her eyes.

Yeosang couldn't help the mischievous smile that formed on his sculpture like face.

"It's not just better.....it's superior."

Yeosang's hand grabbed the remote next to his lamp, which he promptly turned off. Clicking on the first button, the room instantly illuminated a dark red from the LED lights that Yeosang had installed when he first moved into the apartment.

"Want me to show you?"

Y/N hadn't even responded but Yeosang was already unclasping her bra. His hands caressed her exposed back as he patiently waited for her answer. Feeling brave, Y/N sat up to let the garment fall off her body and onto the floor. She looked back to see Yeosang's reaction. He bit his lip, his hands gripping the sheets beneath him in an effort to contain himself from touching her before she gave her consent.

Y/N leaned down, her hand cupping his chin.

"Show me then."

Closing the distance between them, she kissed him tenderly. Yeosang hummed into the kiss, his fingers tucking a side of her hair behind her ear.

~I don't know if you already know how

But girl, I got the feeling that you know now~

Yeosang's tongue pressed against her bottom lip, making Y/N chuckle, but nonetheless granted him access to her mouth. Holding the sides of her neck, Yeosang swirled his tongue inside her, before pulling her own into his mouth to gently suck on it.

"Hehet....you smell like alcohol." He said in between their makeup session.

"Shut up and kiss me you dork."

She pulled him back in and deepened their kiss, her mouth hungrily and sloppily kissing his, her lips trailing across his chin and jaw at times.

"Fuck. How desperate are you?" Yeosang asked.

"A whole lot, now can you fucking stop being the ass you are and get on with it?" She pleaded with him.

In a flash, Yeosang flipped her onto her back. Burying his face in her neck, he placed open mouth kisses across it until he found exactly what he was looking for when Y/N's breath hitched.

"Found you."

Yeosang began to suck onto the sensitive patch of skin he had discovered. Y/N tilted her head to give him better access, which he took complete advantage of. Yeosang only pulled away after making sure there'd be a crimson red mark for anyone to see the following days. Satisfied with his work, he moved further south and began to kiss down her sternum, his hands going from her hips to her waist.

His lips went from kissing in between the valley of her breasts, to gliding over and taking one of her perky nipples into his mouth. His other hand made sure that its twin wasn't left unattended as he pinched and played with it delicately between his long and slender fingers. Without realizing it, Y/N arched her back, making Yeosang smile against her skin.

"You're definitely enjoying this." He teased her, biting faintly on her tiny bud.

"Sh-shut up..." She mumbled.

"And I haven't even gotten to the fun part."

Yeosang dragged his mouth painfully slow down her stomach, placing open mouth kisses on several parts of her skin. Once, he reached her belly button, he couldn't help but feel a little playful. Pressing his face down, he blew against her skin, causing her to squeak and giggle at the vibrations.

"Sangie!" She gushed at him and his awfully cute action.

"Sorry." He apologized but the sparkle in his eyes indicated he was anything but.

When he realized he was in between her legs, only a piece of fabric separating him from her most intimate place, he looked back up at her, mentally asking her if she still wanted to continue. Maybe it was the partially drunk part of her brain or maybe it was the sober part, either way, Y/N nudged Yeosang with her knee, urging him to do something.

Getting the hint, Yeosang grabbed the sides of her panties and began to rid her of them. Y/N lifted herself up so the process was easier for him, and even parted her legs for him, her neediness wanting him to just do as he pleased.

Yeosang inhaled and exhaled sharply as he stared down at his best friend's glistening and almost dripping core, the astonishment and lust in his stare quite unmistakable. His hands wrapped themselves on the back of her knees, his body leaning closer to get a better look at her.

"Well?" Y/N chuckled when he stayed dumb for a while.

Smiling an ironically pure smile, Yeosang didn't take his gaze off from between her legs as he responded:

"It's pretty.......so fucking pretty."

Turning his head, he kissed her right knee tenderly, dragging his lips around it. Eventually, he began kissing up her inner thighs, both of them, leaving no spot unattended. Y/N began to breath more rapidly as she watched him earnestly inch closer and closer to her lips.

"Oh-oh..."

Y/N gasped when Yeosang dragged the tip of his nose up her slit, making sure to press down on her clit.

"Fuck! You smell absolutely delicious babe."

Releasing her knees, he brought his fingers up so they could spread her folds apart so he could glide his wet muscle up and taste a bit of her. Yeosang couldn't get enough of her taste, as shown by his relentless effort in licking and sucking at her clit. One of his fingers began prodding at her entrance, swirling around and finally sinking inside her.

"Fucking hell Y/N, you're so tight and you're already sucking in one of my fingers. Seriously how long have you not gotten any dick?" He inquired as he added a second finger, beginning to scissor them inside her.

"Too. Fucking. Long."

Shutting her eyes, her hands went to Yeosang's hair and began pulling at it, her hips pressing against his face.

"Yeosangie..... help me..." She whined at him.

Paying attention to her needs, Yeosang buried his face in her heat once again, sucking and lapping enthusiastically, moaning occasionally as his 2 fingers slid in and out of her at a moderate pace. Y/N's chest began rising up and down, she could feel herself getting closer and closer to spilling all over her friend's face. The thought of her actually cumming in Yeosang's mouth riled her up more than she'd ever think it would. Yeosang felt her walls tightening around his fingers, clear indication she was about to cum. Being the teasing asshole he was, he pulled his fingers out and detached his mouth from her core, panting slowly from having been eating her out so passionately, some of her arousal smeared on his chin, upper lip and even on his nose.

"What the hell you jerk!?"

Y/N sat up, fully committed to smack him across the face, but he gripped her wrists as he forced her back down.

"Calm down Y/N, I promise you'll be cumming soon."

Leaning in, he kissed her forehead lovingly, sending flutters down her body. Her hand placed itself on his chest.

"Off." Although it was technically an order, she meant it more as a request.

Yeosang pulled his shirt over his head, allowing Y/N to gawked at his lean but toned abs and muscles.

"Fuck.......when did you start working out skater boi?"

Yeosang blushed and giggled shyly.

"Around the same time you began showing off your legs a lot more."

Y/N watched in anticipation as he began to remove his boxers. She widened her eyes when she saw her long time friend's cock slap against his stomach, the tip already leaking out precum.

"Holy shit. You weren't kidding when you said you weren't little." She complimented him.

Y/N reached out to try and grab it in her hand, but Yeosang swatted her hand away.

"You can suck my cock another time. Right now though, I'm dying to have it inside your tight hole."

Y/N clenched at the mere thought of having such a good looking cock inside her. She'd never outwardly admit it, but she always had a thing for visual stimulation and above average dicks.

Opening the drawer, Yeosang took out a condom and ripped it open with his teeth, soon rolling it onto his length. He slowly lowered his body on top of hers, kissing her softly as he aligned himself at her entrance. With a roll of his hips, he slid inside her, both of them moaning loudly. Yeosang let a few seconds pass before he began rolling his hips, starting at a slow and steady pace that matched the rhythm of the music playing in the background. His face hid in her neck, biting and kissing at her shoulders as his hands kept her waist firmly planted on the mattress.

"Fuck, you feel amazing Y/N." He whispered against her ear, making her sigh blissfully.

Wanting to dote on her more, he began spurting out a relay of compliments.

"You look so beautiful like this baby. Fuck! I wish I could capture this moment forever."

Feeling bold, Y/N held out her hand and began tapping around until she found what she was wanting to grab. She held out Yeosang's phone to him.

"Then why don't you?"

Yeosang groaned, halting his movements so as to not cum from her insinuation.

"Are you for real?" He wanted to make sure she wasn't kidding.

"Please just don't film my face. I don't want anyone to know it's me in case it gets in the wrong hands or you upload it to a porn site." She stated making him burst out in a lighthearted laugh.

"Oh honey I won't do that. I'm keeping this for my fap material."

Yeosang sat up as he turned on the camera. He began moving once the phone started recording the naughty scene taking place in his bedroom, this time going a little rougher than at first. He loved watching the way Y/N's tits bounced every time he pushed back inside of her. The red LED lights only made it more thrilling, adding a more erotic aesthetic that the camera captured perfectly.

~I'm burning up, yeah, all I see is red, ah

She said "Fuck me like I'm famous"

I said, "Okay"~

Yeosang's free hand ran across her stomach, momentarily pressing down on the bulge protruding from there. Then it began to squeeze at her breasts, fondling and groping them in a not too harsh fashion.

"Yeosang..... I need more..." She spoke out.

Yeosang pressed paused to help her out.

"Want more? Ok. Turn around for me baby."

~Push a little further on the edge

Crawl a little further on the bed, babe~

Pulling out of her, his hands helped her turn her body for him. Y/N immediately got on all fours, but Yeosang pressed his hand on her back.

"As cute as you look right now my friend, that's not what I had in mind."

Pushing her down, he made her lay her body on the mattress into a low doggy position. Y/N looked back at him with a questioning gaze.

"Trust me Y/N. It'll have you cumming in seconds."

Picking up his phone again, he was about to resume recording when Y/N's words made him snap up.

"Sangie please fuck me raw."

Yeosang swore he had a mini heart attack when she said that.

"Y..Y/N....what are you-"

"It's ok! I'm on birth control and I just really want to feel you and have you cum inside me." She confessed unashamedly.

Yeosang thought about it for a minute before deciding 'screw it' and threw away the condom that was wrapped around his dick. Pumping himself a few times, he finally pressed record again, wanting to capture the moment he entered his friend completely raw.

This time his thrusts were more deep and fast paced, wanting to have Y/N come as fast as possible, which wasn't going to take too long, if her now loud gasps and moans were a major clue.

"Oh- oh my g-god!"

Y/N now understood what Yeosang meant when he said he'd have her cumming in seconds. With his cock pushing in and out of her rapidly it made the mattress underneath her rub against her clit in the most addicting friction she'd ever had.

"T-told you so.." Yeosang couldn't hide the shit eating grin on his face, which Y/N would have slapped off if she could see it.

Gripping at her hip harshly, he angled himself so he could hit that special spot in her, finding it quite easily after many practices in the same room from past lovers. Y/N tried biting her lip but it wasn't enough so she resorted to hiding her face on the pillow in front of her, muffling her near shrieking moans.

~You're buried in the pillow, yeah, you're so loud

But I'm about to show you, baby, slow down~

Lifting her head up slightly, she tried to warn him.

"S-Sangie...I'm gonna-"

She threw her head down again, not wanting Yeosang's next door neighbors to complain next day about the noise, given how thin the walls were.

Positioning his phone on the dresser, Yeosang crouched down and lifted her face up to look at him. She looked almost completely fucked out, her hair sticking onto her face, sweat beads piling on her forehead. Yeosang kissed her messily, his mouth silencing some of her moans as well as his own.

"Go ahead gorgeous. Cum for me. I'll be right behind her."

Yeosang let out a deep, gutteral moan when he felt her clench around him, her body shaking underneath him as she came hard. A series of cursing ensued as he spilled himself inside her, coating her walls with his cum. He slowed down his movements, but never halted them completely, wanting her and himself to ride out their orgasms. When he finally stilled inside her, he grabbed his phone again and held it close to where their bodies connected.

"Holy shit. That's so hot." He said in an almost gloating tone as he pulled himself out of his best friend and watched as part of his cum seeped out of her.

Turning off the camera, he reached for the box of wet tissues on his nightstand and began wiping Y/N down. Tapping on her shoulder, he asked:

"You ok there bud?"

Y/N let out a muffled "Yeah."

"Cute." He shook his head.

Turning off the music, he plopped beside Y/N, turning her so they could resume spooning like they were in the beginning.

"So....?"

Y/N opened her eyes and tilted her head to look at him.

"So what?" She looked at him rather puzzled.

"Do you agree now that vanilla sex is superior?" He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Y/N hummed as she pondered about it in her head. Turning around so her body faced his, she pulled him closer.

"I don't know.....might need a little more convincing..." She joked.

Yeosang took notice of the slight smirk that tugged at the corners of her lips. Wrapping his arms around her, he kissed the top of her head.

"Oh trust me. I don't think this will be the last time...."

═━═━═━═━═━══━═━═━═━═━═

~Song used here: Slow Down- Chase Atlantic ~

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thistleking · 2 years

Text

So before I get into any specific characters I want to lay out my process for creating them. My preference for headcanons and aus is to keep them close to canon. It’s just what I find most fulfilling! The little tweaks, the puzzle of what needs to be different when you make a small change, stuff like that. And the Silmarillion - and Legendarium in general - is very good for that kind of headcanoning!!! I prefer to be conceit conscious, to consider the texts as if they are real historical accounts rather than works of fiction, because that gives me room to analyze why this is included while that is left out. The many watsonian scribes and historians who compiled the Quenta Silmarillion were doing their best to accurately tell the facts of first age beleriand but they also had a specific narrative that they wanted to portray - the fall of the Noldor - and that is a massive bias! Furthermore what their sources are, whether or not they witnessed the events themselves, and how they interpret what they saw/heard will greatly impact what we can understand.

A good example of this is Jenny’s pet theory that the Union of Maeðros wasn’t actually called that until after the Fifth Battle became the Unnumbered Tears. They likely would have named the alliance after Fingon if it had a formal name at all. But then it becomes a massive disaster, and well, it’s easier to blame it on the surviving general who then goes on to commit several atrocities, than to keep the name of the beloved martyred High King. By reframing the Nirnaeth as the Union of Maeðros it becomes another black mark against the Fëanorions, a precedent for the mass murders that Maeðros will lead in the coming years. This allows the survivors to shift the blame off of themselves, and to keep with the neat historical revision that Maeðros was bad all along.

All of this to say: the big puzzle with these spouses was working out why they weren’t included in the Quenta Silmarillion. From a doylist perspective it’s just that Tolkien didn’t develop them beyond a brief mention that Caranthir and Maglor were married, and that Curufin must have had a wife for Celebrimbor to exist. But it’s much more fun to ask why they weren’t considered to be part of the histories of the first age - even as a name in a list of genealogies. I wanted the reasons to vary from “no one knew that they were married” to “remained in Aman” to “it’s politically valuable to leave out this fact”, and then you get to work out the whys behind that. Why stay behind, why hide the marriage, why obscure the history, why did they die?

The secondary puzzle is to look at the canon character and go "what kind of person would they marry?" That's a much simpler question, but still requires a lot of work! Then by the time I had a solid grasp on both, I had a fairly fleshed out character who only needed a name and some more little details before I felt comfortable to finish with development. So now I've got four in-laws and a solid method for filling in the character lacunae in the Silm.

#m.txt #silm #meta #feanorion spouses #i decided that my nearly 500 word preamble could be it's own post #anyways its 2am here and i gotta go to bed!

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spookyconsultingcriminal · 3 years

Text

This is my first pride month as part of the aroace community and I'm just so happy!!!

I have identified as ace for about seven/six years now. It just felt so good to finally understand what was going on with me, especially going through high school when absolutely everything seems to be somehow connected to sex and sexual attraction.

After that every time I considered a romantic relationship I'd simply brush it off, because I was afraid I'd not be respected as an asexual person and stuff.

I've been living normally ever since. Until, well...This year.

There is this guy at work and I had one of my platonic crushes. He was just so handsome and seemed so nice and cool. We became colleagues and eventually we started to text. Out of the blue he said he liked me.

I was shocked!

Mostly because I never saw myself as someone who anyone could feel attracted to. I mean... I don't think I'm pretty and I'm also socially awkward. It just... Doesn't make sense for me.

Yet... He was there, saying he liked me. Saying I was beautiful and funny and awesome.

So I thought "why not?". I had a crush on him after all.

We started to... I don't want to say date, because I didn't feel like we were dating and the whole thing happened within a month. But we started to talk about our situation and stuff. He asked about my asexuality and after I explained the whole thing he said he was completely alright with it.

I WAS THRILLED. If I had any doubts before they almost went away completely after this.

Almost.

I was trying my best to make it work, because he said he was alright with me being ace and that NEVER happened before.

But then things started to get weird.

He always said he liked me just the way I was (I know, Bruno Mars vibes) and yet he tried to change me every now and then

I mean, I'm not the most affectionate person in the world. I have my own way of showing affection and I reckon THAT'S OKAY.

But he would constantly ask for physical affection like kissing (he was my first kiss EVER) and hugging, which I loathe (I only hug people I REALLY trust and love like me mum and me best friend). And when I didn't give him what he wanted he would simply rant about how life was hard for him and how he just needed care and physical affection. He even mentioned on one of his rants that he had such a busy sexual life in his previous relationship and that I "would never understand it" because I am ace.

He would also talk about the future so often. I might be crazy on this one but it made me feel trapped, ambushed in a way.

I talked about getting a master's degree in a different city? He said we should look for flats.

I bought this beautiful ring that looked like an engagement one? He said I was engaged to him.

I said I never wanted to have kids? He said it was okay, we could get lots of cats or dogs.

All in less than two weeks.

He also seemed very comprehensive, but he constantly disrespected my boundaries to the point of hugging me during an anxiety attack when I was feeling hyper sensitive ( everything was just too much. The lighting of the place seemed too bright, the sounds were too loud, every touch or movement physically pained me) and I clearly said that I didn't want to be touched.

By then I was more than uncomfortable, I was a proper mess. I would have BIG anxiety episodes only thinking about changing and being more touchy or more affectionate because I needed to be what he wanted.

He was so understanding about my asexuality, after all.

I was freaking out with everything and one day I simply started to wonder why I was feeling that way. Everyone seemed to do it and handled it just fine. It seemed so easy. Why was it excruciating for me?

And then I started to analyse my whole journey.

For a few times I questioned my romantic attraction because I had such a hard time developing feelings and even an innocent crush seemed awkward. I had no problem acknowledging some people's beauty and always thought that this was my way of having crushes on people. I never once had a romantic relationship, but I had fallen for a guy back in High School. We never dated but I am sure I felt something for him.

He was my best friend and we had such an incredible bond. But before having a crush on him he was my friend. It took me a whole year to realize I had feelings for him. I never entertained the idea of settling in with someone, but I'd certainly do it with him.

And then it hit me.

It only happened because I had a strong emotional bond with him. That's why it was being so hard for me to be in a pseudo relationship. Because I felt nothing whatsoever. He was basically a stranger so feelings weren't exactly on the table. I had only started this because he was a person who seemed nice and that showed interest, and besides thinking he was cute I felt nothing more.

I had searched about the aromantic community before and was quite the advocate. One of my best friends is a strict aroace and I always talked to her about the aro spectrum.

I remembered the definition of demi aromantic and it just clicked.

I felt so damn good. SO DAMN GOOD.

I never thought I could ever feel the way I felt when I first said I was ace, but here it was again. That same incredible feeling of relief.

I wasn't broken, I wasn't wrong, I was just different. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

As soon as I understood this, I decided to break up with the guy. I was just so thrilled to tell him.

I thought "well, he was so understanding about my asexuality. He sure won't mind me being demiaro"

LET ME POINT OUT I WAS DELUSIONAL!

I reckon I was the most polite person (is this correct?) in the whole world. I explained it all. The communities. The way I experienced both romantic and sexual attraction. The way I didn't have romantic feelings for him, but I still wanted to be friends.

He said it was cool. That he was happy for me and that he still had a friend.

I really thought it could work.

Less than 24 hours he texted me a bunch of atrocities. Said I was a bitch. I broke his heart violently. That he was going to k*** himself.

I felt so divided, it was like there were two of me fighting inside.

The first one was desperate for him. Feeling so bad for being who I am. If I were normal, this wouldn't be happening. I would be able to have a normal relationship like everyone else.

The second was skeptical. This might sound very hard, but I'm being truthful. I had no shame and no guilt. I felt nothing whatsoever. I wasn't responsible for the version of myself he created on his mind.

+ I didn't feel like I had been cruel or emotionally irresponsible.

Two days after these, he texted me again with a completely different attitude. One that made me really annoyed and that completely destroyed the first version of me that was still saying it was all my fault.

He said he was ready to continue our relationship. That he wasn't going to feel bad for loving someone WHO COULDN'T LOVE HIM BACK. That it was alright and he just wanted to kiss me and be with me.

I don't even know why I got so mad, but these made my blood boil. I just felt like he was offering himself as some sort of cure. That if we continued what we had, I would eventually develop feelings for him and he was willing to wait for it.

I cut him off completely.

I could never EVER be with someone who makes me feel guilty of being myself.

He has been making my time at work a proper hell lately. Still trying to make me feel guilty, and though it's been hard, I honestly don't care.

Ace, demiaro, an introvert, not prone to touching...

I am not changing to please others. And I sure won't change for him!

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fal-carrington · 5 years

Text

Pairing: KamilahxMc

Disclaimer: The characters belongs to PB

Pt.1 Pt.2 // Back To You Sequel

Prompt: Ending her relationship with Scott was easy, standing up before her authoritarian and manipulating father was also easy. In this new chapter of her life Hayley must learn that marrying Kamilah also meant marrying Ahmanet Financial and with that comes with all the attention and pursuit of the media as a new sociliate married to one of America's most powerful women. When one day a pipe causes a flood in her old apartment, her former housemate and best friend needs a place to stay. Lily ends up moving to Kamilah's penthouse, suddenly privacy becomes something precious and rare, clothes and food pop up around the house and one of Kamilah's precious furniture appears accidentally broken. Now Hayley has to deal with this new challenge of having her best friend in the same house with her wife and dealing with the new life of being the new sociliate of New York.

Tag list: @ilovekamilahsayeed @zoe6111 @carolcunha7 @jellymonster @reginasayeed @gavryllo

A/N: You guys asked so there is

Hayley Pov

"What do you think you're doing here, Scott?" Hayley looked at both her parents for answers. Her mother tried to keep her calm to not cause a scene in the restaurant, while her father remained calm as the meeting with Scott had not shaken him.

"Sit down, Hayley. Everyone is looking.” Robert said taking a sip of his glass of red wine. Hayley clenched her fists furiously, thinking how she was stupid enough to believe this was just a family dinner when it was actually an excuse to get her back to Scott.

"Hell no." She bit her lips and turned to leave, But she only managed to take a few steps before her father's voice reached her ears again, stronger than ever.

"I would not leave the restaurant if I were you. Do you know that important meeting your wife is in? The clients are my associates, and it would be a waste of a good deal with Ahmanet Financial if I gave them a call and they left. You want this? Do you want her to lose a millionaire contract?"

He used the perfect excuse for Kamilah not to show up. He used his best resources to keep her from coming here. Reluctant and disgusted, Hayley sat in the chair facing Scott.

"Honey, we just want to talk." Her mother said touching her hand lightly.

"Are you with him now, Mother? I thought you told me to be happy with who I loved.” Hayley sighed, staring at the plate on the table. Her mom had come so easily back to his side, she did not know why she was still surprised by this whole situation.

"I'm not on anyone's side, Hayley. I just want us to be a family. No more fighting, no more silly arguments.” She scolded her.

"So Kamilah should be here and not Scott," Hayley said firmly looking deep into her father's eyes. She saw his lips contract and as he rolled his eyes only the mention of the name. "She's part of this family as much as I am."

"Stop acting like a child. This madness you call marriage will not last. Her relationship with you did not last before, it was an impulsive and childish act to have married her. Just the actions of a teenager.” Robert said.

"I'm a grown woman who knows my actions well and being married to her was one of the best things I've ever done. Not that you'll ever understand, but she makes me happy.” Hayley retorted.

"Now you two come. We came here to just talk and stop that immaturity of you once and for all.” Her mother looked at both of them.

"And what is Scott doing here then?" Hayley gestured angrily to the one sitting opposite at her at the table watching the heated argument.

"I'm glad you finally asked a decent question." Robert said. "We invite Scott to dine with us because he is important to us and we have news."

"Wait, wait. So any guy you hired and ordered to marry me in London and who I spent years believing was the one guy in my life while I was being cheated on by you guys is more important than my wife ?! What the hell?” Hayley paused, looking at both of them.

"You know I love Kamilah, she's like a daughter to me. Though I think she's too old for you, but we've lived with Scott for a long time, too.” Her mother said.

Hayley rolled her eyes.

"...And I care about you, Hayley. I honestly do. I would do anything to get our relationship back. You meant so much to me, it still means.” He said with those sad eyes, Hayley huffed indignantly not believing a word. False.

"Tell that to someone who cares."

"Regardless of our disagreements over your love life and your life choices, I'm happy with the news that my friends at the Hospital bring. They say you are a formidable doctor, of course I did expect you to be, you’re my daughter.” Robert continued his lewdness too proud to see the problem in front of him. "Tell her, son. Tell her the news we bring.” Robert touched Scott's shoulder.

"Me and your dad talked and we arranged this dinner to tell you that I'll be moving to New York. I got a place at Mount Sinai Hospital, Hayley. We're going to work together, is not it great? "He smiled excitedly.

"You—What?" Hayley stared indignantly.

Kamilah's Penthouse

"No, no. This is wrong. That's very wrong,” Hayley said as she paced the apartment. Kamilah sat quietly across the room, her notebook on the table. She had not said a word as Hayley told her what had happened that night. "They deceived me, made me think they wanted to make amends when in fact they're throwing Scott at me again!" She ran her hands exasperated in her blond hair, glanced at Kamilah, and noticed that she was silent with her eyes turned to the window.

"Kam?" Hayley called her.

No response.

“Kamilah?” She tried again.

"... I suppose it makes sense. Your parents never supported our relationship, they were expected to get Scott back into your life, "she said quietly. Hayley stopped looking at her, she was quiet and with a look that Hayley knew well.

"Babe? Are you okay?” Hayley approached slowly, still studying her features.

"It was a long meeting." Kamilah gave a weak smile in return. "I have to make some calls. You must be tired, it's been a long day. I'll see you in the bedroom, okay?” Kamilah got up and left the room so fast she did not get a chance to say anything more.

What she didn’t know was what actully was happening.

Kamilah pov.

She could feel him, he was getting closer and closer. Even in her dreams, she was not strong enough, strong enough to stop him. Strong enough to keep him from harming anyone she loved. Someone she could not bear to lose, and he knew it. He always knew when she was loving someone when a new person had come into her life. He ruined everything, was all he knew to do for centuries.

Maybe that was her karma after so many bad things she had done in her life. So many people she had killed and taken the blood. Maybe her karma would always lose someone to him. And if there really was a god, he would not allow such atrocity to happen, would not allow more lives to be taken by him. But he would never answer her call, ever.

She ran barefoot through the dark forest, what was her suit were now only the remains of a black jacket and a bloodstained white shirt, even with her inhuman speed, she was not fast enough to run from him, she knew that.

"Kamilah?" That familiar voice called out. Kamilah stopped halfway, looking back, seeing that shadow through the trees. Him. She could see the dark smile on his face and the laughter forming in his throat.

Her feet ran again, she needed to find Adrian and Hayley. Where was she? She needed to protect the only thing that mattered in her life, the only thing she could not live through. Her wife.

But before she could take another step, she nearly tripped over her own feet as she saw a body in front of her. A body on the forest floor among the leaves of an old oak tree. It was Hayley, her throat was torn. Kamilah's blood froze, for an instant, she thought she was hallucinating. She thought she was seeing things, but Hayley was so real. The first steps were hesitant before she fell to the floor beside her body, sobbing and gripping the cold, dead body of her wife.

"No, no! Please... Please, Hayley.” She touched Hayley's cold cheeks hoping that by some miracle, she would open those gorgeous green eyes. But that would not happen, she felt her chest tight and the lack of air was eminent, instead of the sadness the anger had filled with fervor. As Kamilah hugged her wife's dead body, something as fast as a bullet pushed her away from the one thing she loved.

Before Kamilah could respond, she was stuck against the oak tree. Hanging by the neck with Gaius's hands tightening her throat. Gaius's somber smile had returned, and his blue eyes glowed with malice. Kamilah was staring at Hayley's body before turning her eyes to the monster in front of her.

"Why are you running my queen?" That terrible voice sounded through the trees.

That night Kamilah opened her eyes widened with fear, sitting up in bed hurrying, gasping for breath, red eyes focused on her bedroom door. When she realized there was no apparent threat at that moment, she ran her hand over her face and hair, leaning against the head of the bed and taking time to calm down.

Her eyes turned to Hayley, the first thing she thought of then. The one thing she wanted to keep safe. Hayley slept in deep sleep beside her on the bed, even with her sudden awakening, that had not awakened her. Soon Kamilah thought the fact that the girl spent hours on shifts at the hospital made her enjoy a good night's sleep and she would not wake up so easily.

Kamilah touched her back and kissed her hair gently. She got up and searched for her black robe that was on an armchair in the corner of the room. Kamilah dressed him and left the room quietly.

She found herself with a bottle of whiskey waiting for her at her bar. She prepared a quick cocktail and leaned over the kitchen counter, staring at the walls bitterly, her eyes went to the ring on her finger, she removed the ring and began to look it. How such a small thing carried so great a significance and how it took decades before she met someone who made her want such a commitment. She never thought she'd feel it again and that Hayley would give her a second chance.

At that moment the front door opened silently revealing a not-so-sober Lily carrying her boots into her hands and a drunken smile that soon changed as she came face to face with the CEO in the kitchen.

"Jesus, Kamilah! You scared the hell out of me now” She touched her own chest trying to keep her voice down.

"You really should be scared. You have been out all night.” Kamilah said softly still with her ring in her hands.

"And why the hell are you standing there drinking in the dark? Is this part of the CEO's manual? Drink contemplating your own existence in the dark? "

"Very funny, Lily." Kamilah returned her ring to its proper place. She would not tell Lily that she had something so simple as a nightmare. She was not in the mood to listen to gamer jokes at that moment. "I just wanted to drink it now."

"And you could not turn the lights on?"

"I did not want to wake my wife.”

“So... How was the dinner with your family?”

Kamilah cursed under her breath.

“Not so well I see” Lily said. “Don’t worry about her parents, they don’t like anybody. It’s not personal.”

“I’m not trying to impress them. I don’t need them to approve our relationship, if I have Hayley’s love that’s all that I need.” Kamilah said.

“Well... You’re a big softie under this ice exterior, hm?” Lily laughed taking a ice gaze from Kamilah.

“You should go to bed, I'll do the same” Kamilah said, drinking the rest of her drink and disappearing into her office before Lily could say anything else. She pulled her cell phone off the desk and dialed Adrian's number. "Adrian? We need to talk. Something happened."

That dream was a warning, she knew it, she knew it could only mean one thing. He was back.

#choices you play #bloodbound #kamilah sayeed #mc x kamilah

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