#waste of space even

[sentimental-loser]

not enough not enough not enough

#useless actually #waste of space even #i will get over this feeling soon #it will return inevitably #i am nothing more #i am nothing #i actually am the worst

[fortheloveofexy]

it's a pet peeve of mine when ppl frame Andrew as hating Aaron and being needlessly cruel to him... bc while yes, their relationship is fractured and strained, Andrew genuinely cares about his brother and wants the best for him, he just doesn't know how to show that in a normal way.

like he might not know how to express it in a healthy manner but Andrew LOVES Aaron, like he truly just wants Aaron to be healthy and safe. It's like, his whole Thing. Aaron is one of the most important people in his life. Andrew wants him around. He'd do anything to protect him.

I guarantee Andrew wants to be emotionally close to Aaron too, he just doesn't have the tools to do that and the thought of letting someone in terrifies him. He also has no concept of what a healthy sibling relationship looks like, so he has no frame of reference to work from.

#i love bickering twinyards as much as the next guy but sometimes ppl write andrew has if he thinks aaron is a waste of space #and that just isn't true #andrew values his brother #he wouldn't insist on keeping aaron close if he didn't #when ppl do this is just so obvious to me that they're using andrew as a mouthpiece for their own dislike of aaron #and like ok yeah you're entitled to not like a character i guess #but it's just so wildly out of character to me for andrew to treat aaron like shit for no reason beyond Being Cruel #like yeah andrew can be mean when he's feeling defensive or trying to make a point #and yeah he can treat people like shit if he's got a reason to justify it like Keeping People Safe #but he's not needlessly cruel to the people closest to him without cause #like neil says #everything andrew does #he does For A Reason #even neil isn't needlessly mean to aaron tbh #like he doesn't like aaron much at certain points but if he picks a fight with aaron it's never without cause #and he's genuinely happy for aaron when things work out with katelyn in the end #and he wants aaron to have a relationship with andrew as well! like it's important to neil that the twins have a healthy bond!! #anyway im getting off my soapbox now this is just something i was thinking about today a Lot #aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court

[buckttommy]

One thing that was very interesting to me in this episode is the way Eddie was just... not joking about Buck's love interests.

That stuck out.

Usually when Eddie talks to Buck about his love interests, it's with an edge of fond exasperation, teasing laced around his gently delivered truths, but there was none of that this episode. Buck told Eddie he went to see Natalia and it was like something switched. Eddie's entire affect changed when Buck started talking about Natalia. He went from being loose and easy (as loose and easy as one can get when standing at a grave) to being... not combative, necessarily, but visibly actively not wanting to engage in conversation about her either, and it's not...

It's not even jealousy!! We joke a lot about Eddie and jealousy, but it wasn't that at all. It was a fatigue that comes with silence, that comes with holding your tongue, that comes with keeping secrets. Especially when Buck said that he feels like Natalia sees him. That look Eddie gave him immediately after? That was pure hurt. That was him saying I see you too, I've always seen you. But he can't say that. He can't say that, because to say that would be to say so many other things about the way he sees Buck, and to say so many other things would mean to have to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth about the ONE thing he's been holding onto ever since he was shot.

I don't know. I don't know, but I think Eddie taking Buck on a date and I think about how Eddie left his son—his heart—in Buck's care so they could bake cookies together (which becomes profoundly more significant in an episode where Christopher was talking about baking smores with his mom), and I think about Kenny saying Ryan has been doing some very nuanced work in the back half of this season, I'm like

Oh. Oh. I see it, thank you. Loud and clear.

#Before 5B I was like 'Eddie's pining era Eddie's pining era WHEN?' #but babes we are right in the thick of it. It's in his eyes. It's in his smile. It's in the way he looks Buck #in the way he treats him. In the way he creates space for his confusion for his fatigue for his grief. #In the way he shows quiet support and a stern shoulder to lean upon #In the way he doesn't burden Buck with his own feelings (even though that's mostly selfish on his part because #no part of Eddie will ever be a burden on Buck but Eddie doesn't know that yet) #It's just. Eddie's feelings for Buck are literally in *everything* he says and everything he does #It bleeds from him just like his blood did on that street. #If everything about Buck/Eddie's lives have been shrouded by the shooting since it happened #everything about their lives has *also* been shrouded by Eddie's enormous and unflinching love for him #and he keeps holding his breath and swallowing it down and putting off the moment where he pulls back the lid #and it all spills out and before he knows it... before he knows it #it's going to be too late. And instead of his blood staining the street it's going to be Buck's and he's going to tell him #but he won't hear him because Eddie was too slow too fucking slow #(did we all peep the watch on his wrist? Yeah. Time is running out Eddie. Time is running out and it is not going to #wait for fear to release its hold on you. Buck's not going to cheat death again. Don't waste time babe) #Anyways. Yeah. YEAH. Yeah....... whew. This episode was a Lot #jack.txt #tv: 911 #911: 06 x 15 #911 spoilers

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Are those little dolls made to look like 3zun as animals in the most recent comic? I need to know how/when Nie Mingjue got those. Are they gifts from Lan Xichen or Nie Huaisang? Did Jin Guangyao sew them himself and stuff them full of evil talismans in case the song didn't work? So many possibilities.

The 3zun dolls were a self-indulgent reference to this (previously abandoned) doodle! As for who made them in universe? I'll leave it up for interpretation B*)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #jin guangyao #lan xichen #nie mingjue #ask #Ah why not: #mdzs warrior cats au #by 'previously abandoned' I mean to say that this was just a pencil sketch I cleaned up just now. #Because I draw all of these on paper there are a lot of little doodles in the spaces between. #I don't like wasting paper so I try to squeeze something in there! Even if it's just a silly sketch or a doodle. #Sometimes they are little B plot jokes or alt dialogue to a comic. #or notes about what I want to say in the tags! #I was trying to thumbnail what would have been a larger piece (for the lace detailing practice) but put it aside to focus on the comic. #The aesthetic I was going for was 'Antique Victorian Dolls' with the little hand sewn dresses. #I really want to practice drawing lace and I thought this would be a cute way to do so. #Also something about the Venerated Triad being fluffy cats just really speaks to me...This is 3zun. In my heart. #In the comic they are 'cat -bunny - goat' dolls but the kitty trio was the OG concept.

[i-am-dulaman]

Why I hate Golf

This is the Takapuna Golf Course in Auckland, New Zealand.

It is in the middle of Auckland's north shore suburbs.

According to their website, they are one of the most popular golf courses in Aotearoa and have an annual visitor count of 60,000 people. They don't clarify if that is individual unique visitors or recounts, but lets be generous and say its unique visitors. 60,000, not bad.

This is Eden Park Stadium (the little square on the right) and oh look there's another golf course on the left there, ignore that one for now.

(the above two images are at the same scale)

Eden park has a capacity of 50,000 people. Ed Sheeran was here earlier this year and sold out the two nights he performed. That's 100,000 people in a weekend all in that little red square. 60,000 in a year no longer seems so great.

60,000 people per year is also only 160 people per day. 160 visitors to a golf course that is 470,000 square meters in area. Now the average property size in Auckland is 500 square meters. So the golf course takes up the area of 940 houses.

940 homes worth of land for 160 people.

And that is Auckland housing sizes. Auckland is horribly designed and very spread out. Let's instead look at Barcelona, considered one of the most well designed cities in the world.

This is Takapuna golf course side by side with Barcelona

(The scale is as close to being equal as I could get them, I don't have ArcGIS data for Barcelona so had to use google maps)

Each red square overlaid on Takapuna Golf Course is exactly 133m in height/width, the same size as each city block in Barcelona, road width included.

There are 23 Barcelona blocks worth of space in Takapuna Golf Course with room to spare. About 640 people live in each Barcelona block, that's 15000 people.

15000 peoples worth of homes and living spaces, sacrificed so 160 people can play golf in a day.

Now this is just one golf course in a big city, what's 15,000 people to a city of 1.6 million, who cares right?

Here is a wider shot of Auckland City.

Those red dots? They're golf courses.

There are 16 golf courses inside the metropolitan area of Auckland City (4 not pictured as Auckland is too spread out to get one clean screenshot). Keep in mind these are not rural golf courses out in the country, these are right beside housing developments and shopping malls. And for the record I could not find a single golf course in the Barcelona metropolitan area, you had to go out into the country before finding one.

So lets multiply that 15,000 people by 16 golf courses?

240,000 people.

With Auckland City's golf courses you could house 240,000 people comfortably with some good urban planning.

That is why I hate golf.

#For the record I'm not 100% against golf I just think if you have the time to play the most boring sport in the world #Then you also have time to drive 30 minutes out into the country side to play it #golf courses water usage is a whole other story but they aren't uniquely wasteful so thats why I havent mentioned that #golf courses in dry areas with water shortages are even worse than a waste of space and it doesnt matter if theyre urban or rural #but for golf courses in a place like auckland theyre water usage is generally fine and its the waste of land use that bothers me so #Auckland #New Zealand #Aotearoa #Golf #Barcelona #Why i hate golf #golf hate

[la-pheacienne]

This is such an unreal exchange. You do not get it. We're having a rebellion, people are dying and grantaire is behaving like a THREE YEAR OLD saying the most unserious shit he could have possibly thought of like he was starring in a telenovela. You don't get it. YOU WILL SEE. WHO EVEN SAYS THAT after monumentally fucking everything up, you pathetic delusional trash, character of all time. haha you're doubting me huh? you think i'm useless huh? guess what I am STILL useless and i have no intention of ever changing that so instead of sincerely apologizing and doing sth useful for a change i'll just throw an edgy enigmatic retort that means nothing because I HAVE to have the last word-

but then he actually meant it. OOPS. let me kms real quick

#14 yo me when #still remember reading this at 14 yo putting the book down and screaming #the brick #les miserables #I will never get over this as long as i live #and the fact that hugo added this ON THE MARGIN?? #as an AFTERTHOUGHT?? #all this talk about relatability being an overrated quality in a character #but this accusation by enjolras #i felt it IN MY BONES #because i also often feel like i'm incapable of believing thinking wanting living and even dying like i'm a waste of space basically #enjolras x grantaire #grantaire #enjoltaire #aspa rambles #tu verras

[bassiter2]

once and for all i wanna actually get some data on this to see if my observations are accurate or biased

there's only 10 options allowed so if you feel like the options didn't give enough nuance, please feel free to elaborate in the tags.

#trans men #trans mlm #hate that i basically have to add that last button if i don't wanna skew the results #bc it wastes a valuable space #ideally i'd have like 20 options #anyway i just really wanna know how common it even still is to pack anymore #i'm the second to last option btw lol #it feels lonely here but i guess idk if i actually should feel lonely

[spiribia]

i have a room in wobbledogs exclusively for teeth. whenever dogs drop their baby teeth i send the teeth down the chute to to the teeth room. it's because they have a potential effect on dogs when eaten (shifts their hue toward white and increases their glow) that is cool but not quite desirable for every dog out there, and because teeth are so small, they get easily lost in nooks of rooms and also get eaten by dogs you didn't want to eat them, and when you have a dog you want to make eat teeth it's sometimes a pain to find enough. someday i will unleash dogs in here to eat teeth

#talks #i have another empty room that is just a garbage rerouting room. chutes from rooms that dogs are in are connected to it and i dump all the #dog waste down those chutes into the garbage room. then from the garbage room there are two chutes. one sends #waste that increases mutation chances when eaten to a room full of dogs i force to eat sludge. the other is the #teeth room. #i used to have a dog sludge room chute and a tooth room chute in all my dog rooms but it started cluttering my areas #because i had to build a dog gate around each chute entrance because dogs kept getting sucked into the tunnels. #with multiple entrances the dog gates took up a lot of room space and also there was a higher percent chance #flying dogs could get over the gate and get slurped into a different room anyway. #if this happens id rather they got suucked into the empty garbage room than into a room with other dogs because #im separating them for categorization purposes and they'll get all mixed up otherwise and i may not even #notice. if i see a dog in the empty garbage room i know something is amiss.

[terezis]

this is a completely unrelatable post but i need to complain about it somewhere. my local grocery store moved around the layout of their produce and it's completely fucking stupid. do you know where the berries are??? do you know where they put the raspberries???

they are the first thing you see when you walk in. not refrigerated. stacked in front of the sliding doors. not refrigerated. where one might expect soda bottles or flowers or the weekly circular to be. NOT REFRIDGERATED. do you know how quickly berries that ARE refrigerated go bad??? why would i buy ones that have just been SITTING THERE. MOLDERING

#they must be throwing out so many berries!!!!!! the food waste!!!!!!! #AND THATS NOT EVEN TO MENTION THE FACT THAT EVEN IF I WANTED TO BUY THEM #THERE'S HALF A FOOT OF SPACE BETWEEN THEM AND THE DOOR #SO GOD FORBID ANYONE'S BEHIND YOU ENTERING AND YOU WANT TO PICK A PINT THAT DOESN'T HAVE MOLD

[northern-passage]

You don't have to respond to this if you don't want to, I know it will start unneeded drama but I just found it soooo interesting that, since the transphobic blog lets you see their likes, most of their likes are TWC related. And it's not like that fandom is notorious for being a toxic hellspace, no sir.

to be frank it's not just twc, the IF space as a whole is pretty notorious for being toxic at this point. whether you're on tumblr or reddit or the forums, you're going to find these kinds of people lurking around.

that was why i did post that person's username because i could see them interacting with various other authors, and it's best to just block them before they send you something stupid, too.

just like any large online community there are going to be a lot of trolls trying to get attention by sending inflammatory messages or leaving cruel comments wherever they can; i've been getting that kind of stuff sent to me or left in reviews or comments for years now. and currently losers online are having a fucking field day with everything that's going on right now - racism, islamophobia, antisemitism, transphobia, even gore, i've gotten it all in my inbox over the last few months and i've seen others get even worse. these people are pathetic and not worth your time. i've gotten better at not responding to stuff like that, but it is hard to resist that instinctive anger, and that's exactly why they do it & exactly why you see it in every single fandom/online space.

all of that to say, just ignore and block them and you'll have a far better time online than if you constantly try to argue or reason with them because they don't care, their only goal is to make you miserable. even if you think you have some epic clapback, it's not worth it, you're still giving them the attention they clearly desperately want and potentially exposing others to harmful rhetoric. just block 'em, babey!

#it's also why i didn't bother actually responding to that person's message cus there was no reason to share it #just for them to get some weirdo satisfaction from it #i really try to only respond if i feel like it's something i can properly address in a meaningful way #but you can tell when asks are just meant to upset you and you should just block and delete those #and i dont care about twc but i dont think its helpful to blame one single group here #when overall the fandom space within IF and elsewhere is always kinda rancid #i cannot stress enough to just block people. i've gotten way more liberal about it over the years #there's no reason for you to have to interact with every single person just cus you're in the same space #even as an author #extracting myself from certain circles has helped me way more than trying to appease an audience that hates me #anyways it's been upsetting this past few months to see the depravity of some people that are just reveling in all of this #that's why i kinda wanted to respond to this. it's bleak out here but you'll always have the block button and the knowledge #that despite it all you aren't someone who wasted their time harassing random strangers on the internet! #ask #anonymous

[scorchedhearth]

the green lanterns pulling up to an official heroes event of some sort dressed up like this, all thinking they’re gonna drip with style only to find out they are all several decades behind in fashion and cultural awareness

i cannot stress enough that this is not for a joke. they are all four convinced they are wearing the height of fashion and everyone will find them dashing only to have the truth slapped in their face: they are way, way behind

#it bothers some (hal) much more than others (kyle) #john and guy have just come to accept it and fully live their lifestyles #btw based the years of off their first appearance: in order 1959/60 1968 1972 and 1994 #they technically all have a different decades :3 #even though john and guy are actually quite similar late 60s/early 70s was a cultural pivot that spanned several years so #simon and jess are still in the clear because they’re only one decade behind #people just think they’re too heroically broke/busy to go on a shopping trip and update the wardrobe #unlike the four others who inspire weirdness with their try-hard retro looks #anyway pls look at this i wasted an afternoon looking up old sale catalogues #dc #four corpsmen #space sailors #oh and sorry for putting brands in there i just think kyle loves shirts with garish patterns

[premamelody]

i wish he got a good ending

#sth #sonic #sonic prime #nine the fox #ok ik his ending was okay #no one will be able to hurt him #but yoke together #minus eggmen ofc #would be the best one #at least in the same universe #they dont need to even be able to see each other theres plenty of space #i just dont want him to waste away in the void #premaposting

[pastafossa]

how long did it take for your fanfiction to start getting some recognition? did you "advertise" it or "promote" it in any way?

i know that people say this doesn't matter, but i feel like even if you love writing the feeling that you're just talking to yourself gets pretty exhausting at some point. so i'm not talking about having thousands of readers but rather like. what's your advice to have readers at least?

- someone who hasn't even started writing their ideas yet...

LONG POST INCOMING.

First I want you (and everyone else reading who may be struggling with this) to know I'm absolutely with you and generally think 'it doesn't matter' is a horseshit answer. It's this weird thing we do in fanfic that we generally don't apply to other artforms that I've seen. If you're a painter, a playwriter, a novel writer, and you say, 'I want at least a few people to love my paintings, I want some people to come see my play, I want my novel to be published and do at least ok' we all support them, we nod, we agree, we talk about how they can do that successfully. It's considered normal to want some amount of success. But hold up fanfic instead and it becomes, 'how dare you want that praise, you're being egotistical, you should be writing only for yourself'. I'm not saying you can't do that - there are some who do - but it's definitely this bizarre switchup to say there's this single artform in which we can't want attention on our work and that there's something wrong with us if we do. That can be an absolute creativity killer depending on what kind of writer you are (hi, extrovert writer here who only gets writy writy juice from social interaction - aka comments and discussion. So I totally get it being exhausting just doing this on your own).

So let me say this categorically: you're allowed to want things. You're allowed to want kudos, comments, and hits. You're allowed to want messages and asks. You're allowed to want some readers you can talk with about your story.

You. Are. Allowed.

Ok, now that that's out of the way.

Edit: more below the cut cause I didn't realize the length of this on mobile

TRT definitely didn't get popular overnight. The first four chapters were sporadic, and then I took a hiatus due to life things for a couple years. During that time, it kept slowly ticking up bit by bit on AO3, with occasional comments. Iirc it was hovering somewhere around 700 kudos by the time I came back in Jan 2021 - and that's a awesome! It's big! But it's also a number that was gained over a few years, to put it in perspective. It absolutely took off after I came back though, and over the past 2 years both TRT's popularity and the stats of my one-shots in the fandom have grown. Part of that's just the time frame (TRT's been up about 6 years), but it's also due to a couple things that I think built up TRT's popularity.

Building a tumblr presence was huge. Ironically I didn't really intend to do it for advertising; I just wanted a place readers could ask questions or we could all freak out about Matt or I could post some drabbles or updates on the fic. But considering the fact that AO3 and tumblr are the top fic sites online, I wound up promoting my fics unintentionally just by being a friendly, happy tumblr user and fandom goer. All I did was follow the courtesy rules I knew - post stuff regularly, reblog, comment, make friends with other writers, just be friendly in your neighborhood because you love the lady with the gif flower shop on the corner or the wise old pizza maker who serves hot fandom takes all day long. I built familiarity with my writing and name by posting short fics, and by taking part in challenges and prompt lists and short requests for drabbles if I saw them, though that's something that's hard to do if you don't have time (I've got less time now, but I started this blog in the early pandemic so I had aaaaall the time in the world to write and was using it to stay sane). I tagged religiously because I LOVE tags, but that helped, too. Tumblr's search system is half broken but the half that works means people CAN find your writing even if they aren't following. Doing all this over here got me a huge boost over on AO3.

I will say that if you can have a fandom tiktok presence, there's a lot of fic reviewers, edits, and good stuff that can get your fic some readers (I've had some people do this on tiktok for TRT and it sent a surge over). I personally haven't done anything there yet, in part because while I'm on tiktok I try to keep my actual, real person accounts separate from my fic/fandom accounts and i haven't bothered to make a second account solely dedicated to the Pasta name yet.

Longfics on AO3 have the advantage in fic stats in the sense that every time you add a chapter, it gets bumped to the top of the front page and you get seen again. Eventually a lot of people will click out of curiosity. They may not, however, give you a lot of user subs or add to your other fic stats at first, whereas if you do a bunch of oneshots you're more likely to get user subs but less hits on each fic. This is a decision you'll have to make, and I know folks in both camps who built their followings using different methods on each. Either way, it helps if you're posting regularly, either in a long fic or one-shots. I call this the Stephen King method, who said he just writes a ton and throws it all at the wall, and eventually you get enough good despite the bad that you start building a following.

Learn learn learn. This is standard fic advice I always give, but it's still relevant. I think one of the reasons imo TRT has done so well is that I've spent a lot of time over the years learning how to write and edit - I read a ton of books (sometimes just to figure out HOW good authors structure their stories), I took a lot of English classes, I've taken some creative writing courses in my spare time. That two year hiatus was heavily spent doing a lot of research and practice around an original novel I want published one day. And I used ALL of that in TRT, just to see what it was like to put it all together. Be hungry for knowledge, be hungry to learn. The more you learn, the better your fic will be, and the more people that will click.

That learning also includes a looooong string of fanfics that started at a very novice level (hello 12 year old me), to fics that were ok and did moderately well but weren't anything huge. Hell, I had a tumblr account for my previous fandoms before I wandered over to Pastafossa, and while those fics did decently, I never had the huge reaction I've gotten here. But I used each and every one of those fics to learn and grow and adapt. Treat your own fics the same way. If it doesn't get hits, try to learn from it before moving on to the next idea a little wiser and a slightly better writer than before. There will always be people who start to follow you along the way.

A small one, but important: I swear to god, do not shit-talk yourself. Not in the summary, not in the tags, not in the A/Ns. I'm not talking, 'this is my first fic!' That's fine. I mean trashing your own work. Shit like, 'ha ha this sucks, it's terrible but oh well' will absolutely lower your stats, because people will believe you and will ditch your fic. On top of that, it's just mean to yourself, and as I said above, you want to be a good person in the fandom neighborhood. That means not breaking the windows of your own house.

People generally think of summaries as a side note, but a shitty summary can absolutely tank your stats. Treat it like the rest of your fic - this is the trailer before the movie, and it's a huge element of what gets people interested in the first place.

Lastly, like I said at the top, the biggest factor is time. There are people who post one fic and explode in popularity, absolutely. But far, far more little followings are built on the bones of time, of abandoned fics, of muttering and highlighting phrases in books in the middle of the night, of trying and trying and trying until we have at last have a breakthrough and then drag that breakthrough forward with us to the next fic. TRT is absolutely one part lightning in a bottle - the biggest success I've ever had anywhere with my writing, a confluence of fandom factors and world events that gave people (and me!) time to write and read. But it's also standing on the back of whole lot of fics I wrote that look like everyone else's: ones with no comments, low interaction, insults; ones where I had precisely zero idea of what I was doing, but wanted to try anyway. And the way I got through that, as a writer who needs interaction in order to create, was by building friendships in fandom so that even when a fic didn't do all that well, I still had friends I could talk to about the characters, the world, the fandom itself. I asked friends to look them over and give advice. I had friends being my cheerleaders. And if you're an extrovert like me, or just a writer who needs that to create, then those connections are vital as you build up a following.

That's a lot of what I've done. I know there are other ways to build a following, but this is generally what I've done, what I've learned to do, and it seems to have worked. Just remember that there are no bad fics - just learning opportunities. Learn something, and that fic's a success, and work as hard as you can to make those fandom connections to carry you through the process.

I absolutely hope to see your work around one day, so that I can be on of those followers!

#writing advice #fic advice #fic tips #building a following #fanfic #fic #writing tips #tbh i was shocked and still kind of am by how popular trt's become #because i have had ZERO previous experiences in my fic writing time that aligned #BUT #there are absolutely things I did in hindsight I think that helped a ton #and all of the practice and writing fic including the ones with zero interaction helped #i learned how to be a good fandom goer even when i didn't write #because i genuinely loved my little neighborhoods #and i used a lot of that when i started writing again cause why wouldn't i??? #also avoid petty fandom drama you don't need to waste your energy on it #i WANT my blog to generally be a positive space cause i've got shit going on elsewhere and i don't need more #but that also means i think that people like wandering through cause they know there's a lot of happy things here #be the person in the neighborhood watering your daisies and putting out a rainbow pinwheel even when ted down the block #is feuding with susan up the block over the height of ted's fence

[silenthillbunni]

🐰🌧️

#so on my way home.. #i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future #i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were #bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected #a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati #that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful #and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old #live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :) #you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :) #you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!! #you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u! #whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️ #god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE #i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things #now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao #there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives #by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it. #or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me #only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die #bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything #for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!! #not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right #i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax #but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭 #my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became #bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life

[eddiediaaz]

i'm feeling so depressed and out of options/motivation/will to do anything that I can't even enjoy the "love you to the core"!!! i hate this shit

#very possibly losing my career because the strikes seem to have changed it forever #the future ia very fucking bleak and I feel like my unemployment benefits will run out before i even have a chance to get a job again #in the industry i mean #and now this medical diagnosis that is my fault and my fault only #30 and no savings nothing in my name #i feel i'm just a waste of space tbh #shut up alie

[lightsinthemist]

Every time I read a post complaining about Lucille and how evil she is, I just think about how none of you would handle Milada from The Seven Ravens (1993). Not now, and definitely not as a kid.

#you can't convince me that milada wasn't frustrated her whole life that her brother doesn't want to sleep with her #sedmero krkavců (1993) #czech fairy tales #the seven ravens (1993) #crimson peak #there's just something so caring about lucille even when she's planning to kill you #milada will brutally kill your maid before your eyes frame you for it and then frame you for being a witch #and because your husband is a spineless waste of space you will almost get burned at the stake #unfortunately one of these is a fairy tale so it can't end with him dying or at least you leaving him and now that's the true horror #this is joke btw if it isn't obvious #you can't really compare them since one of them is straight up fairy tale villain but it's fun #with how much this particular adaptation leaned into horror #like THEY MADE SOME CHOICES and I love them for it