#it will return inevitably

[sentimental-loser]

not enough not enough not enough

#useless actually #waste of space even #i will get over this feeling soon #it will return inevitably #i am nothing more #i am nothing #i actually am the worst

[starry-bi-sky]

Childhood Friends Au: Jason

there's something burning in the empty room inside my head fill it up with doubt let it in, let it spread

When Jason gets Tim's text in the groupchat, he ignores it. And then a short series of buzzes distract him from a drug bust. It hasn't even been that long since he reconciled with the family, with Bruce. He thinks that perhaps he should have left it sooner.

He glances at it momentarily when the buzzing stops and he doesn't need to knock out more guys. He sees Tim's question dedicated towards him, and his response is instant, his thumbs flying over in response.

He doesn't care, he's trying to patrol.

(He does not have Danny's number in this phone, it's new. A model from this year rather than one from four years ago. He wants that old phone back. He hasn't even looked at their old letters yet.)

(Jason bets that they've been packed away in storage with the rest of his things. He doesn't want to visit the manor, but maybe he should. Just to find those letters again. He's not sure if he's allowed to.)

And then Tim says its Danny, and Jason flies up to the past texts to find the photo before he can think. And then there is Danny staring right at him again, with the same old smile on his face that he always aimed at people. Lopsided, Danny's favorite kind of smile.

Something old, something new. He's got piercings, and his eyes are as blue as they've ever been. He has an undercut, it looks self-done. It looks good. He looks tired.

Danny's good at hiding things from people, it comes with the purchase of being a street kid. But Jason can't have someone else's back without knowing the ins and outs of the person in question. Jason knows when Danny is tired, and Danny knows when he is too.

Before his death, whenever Danny came over he never missed a beat in telling Jason that he looked like shit. Were Bruce's fancy rich-people, cloud-made mattresses too soft for him? He can find him a moth-eaten street mat for him if he needs it. It'd be like the good old days.

(Jason wishes he could have told him he was Robin, but it wouldn't be safe.)

Jason had to see him with his own eyes, had to confirm with his own eyes just how much Danny had changed. It's just his luck -- if he has any left -- that he arrives to Bruce's dumb gala just as Danny steps out onto their once-shared, west-end balcony.

He drops down, something heavy in his throat, before he can properly think it through. Danny looks up before his feet even touch the ground, like he knew he was there. Jason wonders if he did. There is a cigarette in Danny's mouth. Something old. And something flashes in his eyes that Jason cannot place. Danny looks tense.

Jason feels like he's made a mistake.

In the end, watching Danny walk away feels a lot like Jason is losing something -- or is he missing something? Is it both? He wants to reach out, grab Danny's arm, but his feet are glued to the balcony floor. There are so many things he wants to say, but his tongue has glued itself to the roof of his mouth. Something has crawled into his mouth and died.

So much has been said with so little words. He wants to spin Danny around and ask him so many questions.

What do you mean you spoke to my ghost?

What do you mean I told you the Joker killed me?

What else have I told you?

The Fentons were right?

What happened while I was gone?

Why are you scarred? Where did those come from?

(He is not blind. He saw those silver lightning scars etched into his best friend's skin, saw that it disappeared under his sleeves. Danny did not have those the last time Jason saw him, the last time he was alive.)

(The sight of it makes him alight with murderous intent. He wants to take his best friend by the front of his shirt and shake him -- who did this to you? Who did it? Tell him, he will fix it.)

(But he can't. He doesn't. Doing that means revealing who he is. It means telling his best friend that he has been alive for the last five years and he did not tell him. It would mean telling his best friend that he did not want him to know.)

You're going to kill the Joker for me?

What have I missed?

What do I not know?

You look so tired.

But before he can even get his mouth to move, Danny is gone back inside. The door swinging open, music once muffled now blaring out for only a few seconds before Danny is slipped back inside.

And Jason is left on the balcony, alone, with more questions than he thought he would have. He stares at the broken cigarette on the ground, it feels like a metaphor for something. Jason can't figure out for his second life what it is.

Maybe it's not a metaphor at all, maybe the curtains are sometimes just blue. Maybe sometimes your best friend just tells a vigilante that he is going to murder someone; that he is going to avenge his best friend with his bare hands and feel no remorse for it.

It is what Jason wants Bruce to do, wants someone who loves him to do. But he's not sure if its something he wants Danny to do. Not when he has been living a normal life -- or as normal as it could be -- without hide nor tail knowledge of what Jason used to do, or what he does now.

What have I missed?

Danny. He's missed Danny. He didn't look into Amity Park out of fear of what he'll find; of what he might do. But now Jason thinks he might have to.

Danny has talked to his ghost. Danny is going to kill for him. He has that look in his eyes that Jason knows so familiar; the one where he needs Jason to play distractor while he stole something from the corner store. The one where he looks a kid five years his senior in the eyes and kicks him in the dick because he cornered him and Jason, itching for a fight.

There's a look so familiar in his eyes; the one of a boy that's set his mind to something and he is going to do it. He can't call it the eyes of a cornered animal, because Danny has never been cornered, not when he's been with Jason. He calls it the eyes of a boy about to do something he will never regret.

He watches him leave with the Vlad Masters guy. He hides atop the roof and eavesdrops. The paparazzi have since left now that it was much later in the night; they are not the bigger fish, even if they sometimes parade it to be.

"I thought I told you to make nice." Vlad Masters scowls as he walks to the other side of the sleek black limousine. "To not embarrass me."

Jason frowns at the way he talks. His fingers itch, and something old lurches in his chest: the same old protectiveness that he used to feel whenever he and Danny were about to get into a fight. And then, later, when they would stand inside Bruce's galas with people who couldn't care less if they breathed or died.

Danny scowls right back at him, all venom and bite, and leans against the side of the car. "I did make nice -- as nice as I could when you dragged me here."

Vlad Master rolls his eyes, huffing. Jason's frown only deepens. It's not easy to make Danny do anything he doesn't want to. His sister has tried, so have his parents, as well as his teachers. But Danny is wild and so is Jason. Rebellion and disobedience -- no, independence -- cut into them from the streets like its broken glass.

Jason doesn't remember Danny ever mentioning knowing a Vlad Masters. They must have met after Jason died, then. He doesn't like him. He's the same as all the other socialites in that party. There is a greed in his eyes that Jason knows rots down to the core of him.

"I thought you would enjoy being here, little badger." Masters tries, and his tone makes Jason ruffle. As does the nickname. Danny's scowl only ever deepens, his fingers curling to dig nails into his palms. He looks at Masters like he wants him to burst into flames. "You are friends of the Waynes, I thought you would like the little reunion."

"Whether I did or didn't is none of your business." Danny says. The door clicks open on Masters' side, as if they remembered that they were on the street rather than in the car. Masters climbs into the back, and Danny opens the door. He only reaches in though, and pulls out a old hoodie.

Danny pulls it over his head, and his vest and button-down are hidden underneath it. "Don't wait up you old fruitloop, there's someone here I need to see." And he slams the door shut with more force than necessary.

(Jason makes a mental note to look into Vlad Masters. Who is he to Danny. How did they meet? There is an old animosity between each other that Jason has never seen before. Not even when they were on the streets. Not to this extent.)

Jason's heart seizes up. Danny's reminder early surges to the front of his mind. Right. That's right. He's going to go see him. Jason. He is going to lay flowers on his grave. He remembers that Jason likes zinnias. There are no florists open this late at night, Jason thinks.

He follows Danny from the rooftops. Danny sticks close to the buildings, slipping in and out of shadows. Jason wants to know where he learned how to do that. Where did he learn how to move without a sound?

Five years is a long time to be away from someone, Jason thinks. Something that fills him with dread. Five years is a long, long time. He's afraid that it's been too long. Will he still know Danny like he used to, if he asks? And if he doesn't?

More, more, more. More questions than answers. More things that Jason doesn't know about someone he used know to like the back of his hand. It scares him, and he hates it.

(There is scarring on Danny's hand that Jason has never seen before. Maybe that's the metaphor he was missing before. Maybe there are still more.)

Danny moves like a ghost down Gotham's streets, his hands shoved into his pockets without a care in the world. It is confusing. It is concerning. It is proof that more things have changed than Jason likes.

Danny somehow finds a florist open at this time of night, and buys a bouquet. And like he told the Red Hood, he buys zinnias. Reds and yellows. For a moment, Jason thinks that Danny knows. He wonders if he does.

What would he have told him, if he was a ghost? He told him that the Joker killed him. Maybe that means he told Danny he was Robin too, like he always wanted to. But couldn't, because it wasn't safe, and it wasn't just his secret to tell?

Why has nothing changed, now that he was alive again?

"Did you know," Danny starts, when he sits down at Jason's grave with flowers slipping gently from his fingers, before the tombstone below. Jason is as close as he can without being seen, hiding like a ghost. "That red zinnias mean stead beating of a heart?" He smiles sardonically, "You picked quite the flower, Jay."

(There is an echoing in his ears, Danny's voice faint in the back of his mind. Ghosts can hear you when you speak to their grave, did you know? Jason can hear him better than he should.)

Jason knows the irony. Perhaps it's got double the meaning now, now that he's alive again. Danny doesn't know that though, sitting before his grave with flowers that symbolize a beating heart. Between the two of them, Jason thinks that the only heart here is Danny.

(Between the two of them, the only heart here is one that's made between the two of them.)

"Yellow zinnias," Danny continues, resting his chin in his hand, "mean daily remembrance." His smile tilts on the axis of his mouth, a wrinkle between his brows. He looks pained. Hurt. There is no comment made. Like it doesn't need to be said.

Jason thinks he can hear it anyways, and his heart twists like someone took it and twisted it like a rag, trying to drain the dirty water out of the cloth. He hurts.

I miss you. Is what he hears. Is what Danny doesn't say. Is what Jason knows he's thinking anyways.

I am right here. Is what Jason wants to say, but doesn't. He is right here. But his feet are grave-bound to the floor, and a part of him feels like he's clawing out his own grave again. But the dirt falling is endless and merciless. He can't get free.

He bites his tongue, a lump in his throat. Shame wells in his heart and Jason wants to shrink away from this. His feet are grave-bound to the floor.

"I'm sorry for not visiting sooner." Danny says, hand dropping out of his chin to pick at the ends of his sleeves. His smile fades into a frown. His voice wobbles. "I'm sorry, I don't have an excuse. I should have."

Please don't be. Jason thinks. He doesn't think he can be upset about it, not when Danny is laying yellow flowers on his grave that mean remembrance. i think of you daily. Not when Danny was going to kill the Joker for him.

Jason still doesn't know what to think of that. He still isn't sure if it's real or not.

"I went to one of Bruce's galas today." Danny says, and Jason knows. He saw him there. Danny smiles weakly. "I know, right? First time in five years. Vlad dragged me along, you remember him right?"

No, I don't. Jason thinks, and he feels a flutter of anxiety. A sense of impending doom. A choking dread. What else have I missed? He thinks again. Why doesn't he remember? Danny told him about Vlad, but it can only be from when he was a ghost. How long was he a ghost before he was revived? How often did he and Danny speak?

Jason doesn't like not knowing things, he doesn't like not knowing things about himself.

It would be so easy, a little voice whispers, to reveal himself now. To step forward and take his helmet off. To tell Danny that he was alive. To demand answers that only Danny could know.

But then what? When Danny inevitably asks his own questions? About how long Jason's been alive? Why he was dressed the way he was? Why he didn't say anything earlier, on the balcony?

(But he did say it earlier, when he offered Danny the cigarette and silently asked him for his thoughts.)

Jason is afraid of what Danny might think of him, if he tells him what he's done. About the blood on his hands and the bridges he's burned. What if telling him is just more gasoline on another bridge, with Danny holding the match? He stays silent. Fear is a powerful motivator. It's a powerful deterrent, too.

"The asshole blackmailed me into coming." Danny says, drawing his knees up to his chest. He looks disinterested. Annoyed, actually. Like what he is saying isn't sending alarm bells through Jason's mind. Like what he's saying doesn't concern him. "It's really dumb, actually."

He sighs, long and tired. There is grief etched into every line and pore in his face. "I could have handled it without even needing to come to the gala, I've done it before." He mutters when his eyes open. His fingers brush against the petals of the bouquet.

(And that only sends more alarm bells ringing in Jason's mind. Red lights blaring. Distress fills the cavity of his lungs. What has he missed?)

"I only agreed because I missed you," Danny says, "and Bruce. He invited me to come over sometime soon, to catch up. I agreed and I'm not sure why I did."

Jason didn't know that.

Danny continues talking. Jason listens in dutifully. He feels like a stranger imposing on his own grave. It's ridiculous. It makes sense. He feels like he should slink away and let Danny talk to his grave in peace. He cannot bring himself to move.

If he closes his eyes, he can pretend that he's sitting in front of him, like it's the good old days and they're back in Jason's room in the manor. Staying up late and trading stories back and forth. Sneaking out to the balcony and climbing onto rooftops they’re not supposed to go on. 

Jazz is getting her psychology degree. Him and Sam had a big fight a few years ago, but they’re better now. Tucker wants to start his own tech business. 

And on and on Danny goes, rambling about every little thing he can think of in the last five years since they last talked. He jumps back and forth between topics, when he remembers something he cuts to it. And then jumps back off to the next thought passing through his mind.

"I don't know what I want to do." Danny says, finally, after he exhausts every other topic to talk about. "I wanted to be an astronaut, but now I'm not so sure." His knees draw up to his chin, and he looks so sad. He looks nineteen. Small despite his size.

Were they really just nineteen, verging on twenty? Jason feels older among his years. Fourteen feels so far away.

Danny breathes in slowly, it's a sound that trembles. From where he stands, Jason sees Danny's eyes film over with tears. He makes a choked out sound that sounds like a terrible mix of a laugh and a sob.

"Where did you go?" He whispers. He tries to smile, and it is this pained, awful thing that drops within a second. Fingers clutch at his legs, diggings wrinkles into the fabric. "I know you're still here. Where did you go?"

There is no answer. Guilt is an animal with claws, and it burrows into Jason's heart to make itself home between the tendons. Tears slide from Danny's eyes down his cheeks. He still cries for him, five years later. Five years after. Jason feels worse.

"I haven't stopped looking for you." Danny continues, his voice cracks, and the words run over Jason's ears like water sliding off a duck's back. He doesn't hear it at first -- no, he doesn't understand it at first. And then when he does, he plunges his hands into the waters of his mind to drudge it back up.

You're looking for me? Do you know I'm alive?

It's another question to Jason's never-ending list.

"You might as well tell me where you are now." He smiles again; tries to. It wobbles, lips pulling back to show teeth as more tears spill over and carve red marks down Danny's face. "Or I'll find Cujo and sick him on you. He's gettin' real good at tracking things you know."

Jason doesn't know who Cujo is. But it sounds like a dog. He knows Danny's always wanted one, but their apartments would never allow it. It's not like his parents could afford one either.

There is a silence that hangs over them, with only the sound of the city around them. Danny seems to tremble more and more as each second passes, until finally a bubble pops. His smile drops, and so do his knees that were pressed into his chest.

He doesn't say a thing, not with words anyways. He hunches over and hugs himself with nails that dig into his elbows, failing to stifle a years' old grief. Jason wants to flee, lest he breaks his word to himself and steps out to console and dry Danny's falling tears. It feels like a betrayal unto himself to only stand there and watch him drown in his grief.

Guilt is a thing with claws, and Jason leaves the cemetery with hatred eating his tongue. Danny deserves the privacy that a ghost cannot give him. Jason may no longer be a ghost, but he is still the next best thing. either way I'm left holding onto the shovel and rope digging in the dirt finding bones, finding ghosts

#dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dpxdc crossover #childhood friends au #dead on main #really thought long and hard about whether or not danny should kill the joker in this update #but that feels too soon #i feel like a few more things would need to be established before the Joker's inevitable end #so this is not half as long as the first part but this also only addresses the immediate aftermath of Red Hood's meeting with Danny #rather than spanning over multiple years building up Jason and Danny's relationship and jason's death and danny's return to gotham #word count: 3k #i'm a little disappointed i wanted to get to 9k like before but i think Jason's pov deserves a little more attention on its own #im still unsure of whether or not i should have added more or not

[nohoney]

k, i need to ride mechanic touya ๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐

ugh just our hot tatted, hands dirty from car oil mechanic touya (*/ω＼) imagine that he’s your third mechanic that you’ve gone to see about car problems and you’re practically done with all the bullshit you’ve been fed from other car shop dudes. you’re so riled up about all the issues you’ve had with your stupid car that at first you don’t notice how hot he is. but touya notices how adorable you are despite you being snippy as he asks the standard questions of ‘what’s wrong with it’ and what you’ve been informed by prior mechanics.

now mechanic touya is not a miracle worker; he’s just a guy that knows the ins and outs of car maintenance. so he gives it to you straight that your car is indeed a piece of shit but it’s a piece of shit that he can at least make drivable. the diagnosis he gives you is not as bad as you were told before so you visibly relax as touya goes over the costs and he gives you a date to pick up your car which is his closing time of his shop in just a few days.

when you look over the invoice, you note how he cut most of the costs. “you sure you did this right?”

mechanic touya says that it’s not a big deal, just don’t go to any guy except him from now on. maybe it’s the gratefulness that you won’t have to sell any organs just to cover the costs but you notice how fucking fine he is and bashfulness kicks in. “i’m really grateful… thank you. but i really should pay you in full for all you’ve done.”

so mechanic touya tells you, “well baby, if you really wanna show me how grateful you are. come help me test the new shocks on my car.”

and then you’re bouncing on touya’s lap in the backseat of his red convertible bmw 325i. the top is put down so that you don’t hit your head and he’s telling you what a cute little thing you are and how lucky you are that he was your third consultation. your head is dizzy with all the filthy words he gifts to you and you chase your high. mechanic touya makes himself comfortable and leans back to enjoy the show, his car bouncing slightly with your movement. it’s when he calls you a good girl that has you whining and then you’re hanging onto him, begging into his ear to call you a good girl again.

#on the down low mechanic touya fixed up most of the problems of your car except for one thing #he could have fixed up everything but that would mean that you wouldn’t return to him for a while #and mechanic touya wants to see you again in his shop #he wants to bend you over the hood of your own shitty car and then fuck you in the passenger seat of his car #so when you inevitably have to come in again to ask him to fix your car again touya always makes you top priority #dabi x reader #dabi smut #k.inbox

[werewolf-transgenderism]

once again thinking about Pentiment and how none of the choices you make are the "right" one because there is no "right" one to choose from. someone's going to die as a result of your investigations in act I and act II and you have to choose. there will be consequences. you can't complete your investigation, you run out of time, someone dies, and you have no way of knowing if you've made the right decision and even when you've solved the larger mystery you still won't know. game of all time

#Pentiment #pentiment spoilers #like I've played through it a few times every choice brings its own consequences and you never know if you were right #and the deeper you get into investigating each suspect the harder it gets #like Brother Guy is easy to suspect bc he's an ass and he's embezzling but then you find out his whole deal #and it's suddenly a lot harder #or Sister Matilda who I have yet to bring myself to even give evidence against in any playthrough #and the outcomes are inevitable anyway. Piero dies eventually. the abbey burns down. the farmers revolt and get killed in return #GAME OF ALL TIME

[hawkp]

Thinking about how Miles called Julian Jules in “Extreme Measures” and Julian didn’t even give it a second thought. A name he wouldn’t let his parents use, something we never hear Jadzia or Ezri say.

That privilege is reserved for Miles and Miles alone.

#he trusts miles so much #they really do love eachother #i like to think that after a few more years #when him and Ezri inevitably split (bc that whole relationship was built on trauma bonding) #he returns to earth #starts teaching medicine at the academy #and finds his second calling teaching these kids #that he definitely DOES NOT see himself in #and miles and him have lunch #and sometimes it reminds him of another person in another place #and the memory feels like home #ds9 #deep space nine #julian bashir #miles o’brien

[commsroom]

there's an interesting statement being made about identity if you accept all of the wolf 359 characters are equally themselves as of the finale: eiffel is form without memory; hera is memory without form; lovelace is both, but without continuity of experience; minkowski is both with continuity - and she's still not the same person that goddard recruited. if we're never the same people we were, but we're always ourselves, then the only way the self can be defined is through its own assertion - and maybe it can be argued that "my name is-" (and later, being able to say "my name is hera" reintroducing herself to pryce) and "i am captain isabel lovelace. no matter how hard you try, you are not taking that away from me" and "without me, who are you?" / "renée minkowski, and that is more than enough to kick your ass" are all the set up for (and part of the answer to) "am i still doug eiffel?"

#wolf 359 #w359 #it's about accountability but also about inevitable change and the willingness to learn from the past #and change for the better #holding those maybe contradictory ideas in your head #that we can't escape who we are. the limitations of the self or the people we've been in the past. but also #that there's no permanent state of self we're bound to #that the self is a constant negotiation of presentation and communication with others and can't exist in a vacuum #but also that it is about inherent worth and self-defined and self-named #i think that line is so interesting. 'we can't just change who we are but we get better.' #because depending on how you interpret it it either supports or contradicts this philosophy #and i think the difference in how hera interpreted it vs how maxwell might've meant it is part of how they misunderstood each other #and why it's an idea that stuck with hera and that she returns to. and feels like it was a lie. after maxwell betrays her #but that's another discussion maybe. #and also of course. the significance of names in wolf 359. but that's a whole thing on its own too.

[oldwitchsleep]

say what you like about them but molly graham has my eternal love and respect for making will laugh like this

#LOOK AT THAT EYES SQUEEZED SHUT LAUGHTER!! #WHEN HAS HE EVER LAUGHED LIKE THAT!! #like literally say whatever you like about the inevitable nature of their relationship but he fucking loved her #she made him HAPPY #was he himself with her? no. was he honest and free? no. #did he love and be loved in return? did he have a family? did he have a stable life? #did he LIVE? did he LAUGH? did he LOVE? yes #DID HE LIVE LAUGH LOVE!!! #sorry i realised half way through typing where i was going with that and i just had to go full cringe #hannibal #will graham

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

《山河令》 WORD OF HONOR (2021) | Episode 20

Dear, the kiss that steals your breath Will steal your soul instead When night is all that's left So wait, keep your heart inside My hand won't keep it safe I'll just feed on dreams and smile as hope slowly dies –The Rigs, Run Baby Run

#my gif #okay so the way wkx doesnt think these times can ever return #not just that things change and will naturally turn into memory #but also that he feels like he won‘t ever get another chance at being as happy as he was then #simply because hes Changed now #and he knows Bad Things Happen (to him) (because of him) #it reminds me of the nails reveal scene (‚i found u bad its too late.‘) #only much worse because so much more of wkx himself is revealed #so the stakes are higher #and he and zzs are so much closer #he inevitably needs to reveal what happened to zhen yan #but how can he? when hes convinced zzs will turn his back #if he ever finds out The Other Side of him (master of ghosts) #hes like working with a deadline #hnnng #wen kexing #zhou zishu #zzs #wkx #gifset #word of honor #wenzhou #���河令 #shl #shan he ling #also this is dedicated to Spare Me by staringatstars #which im currently rereading again and its having me Feel Things #about wkx & his yearning to sacrifice himself if the odds are against him #also: hii!!!!!! my first gifset!!!!! i know its not perfect but thats fine (tears of labour streaming down my face as i smile bravely) #priestnet

[albino-parakeet]

No other game studio has made me hate a character so viscerally than how Guerrilla wrote Ted Faro.

Every single time I think about that stupid fictional trillionaire I get so mad because he’s literally just a horrifying amalgamation of Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos. Down to the tech bro, horrible ego, complete disregard for other’s well being/the environment, literally doing anything for profit (especially at the expense of other’s), and taking all the credit for what others invent.

The most unforgivable character I have ever had the displeasure of knowing they exist. And the fact he’s mainly based on one real person and his actions…. Can’t escape.

#horizon forbidden west #horizon zero dawn #Its the fact that all of what Faro did is basically the inevitable outcome with these money hungry greedy #Leave the rest to suffer when the Earth is past the point of no return. rich people/corporations. #Need to wring this fictional trillionaire’s neck as therapy after work #ted faro #i’m just rambling #Sorry started watching a play through of hfw I haven’t seen yet. Love this series.

[mrsoharaa]

"Remember...we need to keep this completely professional and strictly discreet"

He declares firmly as he readjust the gizmo on his right hand, digitalizing his suit onto his glistening, perfect body. Watching the freshly embroidered markings that you engraved onto his beautiful, broaden back, fade from your lingering sight. Shifting up on your bed as you gently pull the crinkled sheets up to your bare, heaving chest. Slowly, watching his head tilt to the side to capture your longing stare.

"Nothing more then this will happen between us...I just want you to know that" he clarifies with a heavy sigh, fixing his posture as he opens up a portal in the midst of your dim lit room. Taking a final, shorten glimpse back at you, noting the distraught, broken look settling upon your face, before vanishing within the glowing inter dimensional circle.

"...Yeah, nothing..."

#I'm a TOTAL sucker for 'friends with benefits' trope where one character develops strong inevitable feelings for the other while #the other clearly wants nothing more then just the hot steamy hookup......to simply 'distress' them or 'clear their minds' #but EVENTUALLY leads to said character to developing the same feelings in return! these are/will always my fave tropes! <33 #yes yes this was about mean prudent Miguel :( #don't worry...he TOTALLY wants you trust me #miguel o'hara x reader #spiderverse

[sugarcoatedvein]

- 🦢🫧🎧🪞🩰 -

#me returning with a mediocre luke moodboard before inevitably disappearing for months once again ?? #more likely than you may think #moodboard #aesthetic #aesthetic moodboard #5sos #5sos icons #5sos moodboard #luke 5sos #michael 5sos #calum 5sos #ashton 5sos #luke hemmings moodboard #luke hemmings icons #luke hemmings #calum hood #michael clifford #ashton irwin #blue #blue moodboard #gold #gold moodboard #coquette moodboard #coquette aesthetic #coquette #5 seconds of summer

[moupies]

Heyyy guysss it’s meeeee

Bonus wukong under the cut

Okay that’s all

#I did. this for a school project and I liked it and decided to return from my disappearance #lmk macaque #lmk #lego monkie kid #lego macaque #pies occasionally draws!! #IM BACK (lying) #sorry if you’ve moved on from lmk and this is a jumoscare #lmk fanart #lmk fandom #lego monkie kid macaque #I lvoe this ep sm the screenshot redraw was inevitable #now that I’m back who’s exited for me to be annoying about s4 #unfollow while you still can #hey wait is this the first full peice ive posted here? WAIT

[julianova44]

Just got back from watching the new Godzilla movie and I think my partner has the best take on it:

“A heart wrenching melodrama that follows a veteran as he struggles with survivors guilt and PTSD, even as he learns to move through his trauma as he build a new life with his found family amid the wreckage of the old.

Also, there’s Godzilla.”

#gojira #godzilla #g minus one #toho monsters #toho #Godzilla works best as a metaphor for the horrors we inflict upon each other being subsumed and returned by the inevitability and nature #some serious sads #ptsd depictions in media #kaiju #julianova44

[deiaiko]

#19.3 Unravel

It had been some time since Agni felt this nervous. Not even talking with Jinsung Ha recently had made him feel like this. He fiddled with the mask on his hand as he waited for Grace to come back. He had thought hard on how to deliver the news, but he knew that no matter how he phrased it, Grace would be upset. Velt nuzzled under his palm and Agni gave her a few pats, before deciding that she would be better inside her bowl in his lighthouse, just in case the shinsu acted up around Grace after he received the news.

Grace came back wearing the comfiest shirt and shorts Agni knew Grace liked to wear on lazy days. He joined him on the floor, and they ate dinner together. Agni always finished last, so while waiting for him to finish his meal, Grace told him about his day with Bam. Grace was intrigued by how much his way of thinking had changed, and how glad he was to be able to be by Bam's side when he was having a bad day. It reminded Agni of the hidden floor, when Grace faced his sworn enemy.

They left the used bowls on the coffee table and went to brush their teeth. Afterwards, they turned off the light and went upstairs to sit on their bed. Grace's curious gaze never left him, and Agni curled his feet nervously.

Grace was the one who broke the silence. "So…what is it?"

Agni's breath hitched. This was the part he dreaded most. "I talked with the crocodile earlier. Did you know that he could manipulate stone already?"

"Huh." Grace needed a few seconds to let the information sink in. "Didn't Rak learn it on the Hell train? How does he know it?"

"Turns out our crocodile also traveled back to the past like us. He found the young crocodile and taught him."

"What?!" Grace gasped, wide eyed. "That means our Rak is–!!"

"He's dead." Agni quickly snuffed out that hope. They had been in delusion for long enough; it was time that they faced the bitter truth. "He suffered a fatal injury from the explosion. He couldn't have lasted long without proper help." Agni omitted the actual cause for Rak's death, but still kept his words true. "I'm sorry."

"…Oh." Grace looked lost, just like Agni was. His lips parted a little, but they closed before any sound escaped.

Agni gently squeezed Grace's hand, encouraging and comforting as he let the silence stretch on, giving Grace some time to process the information.

"Agni…" Grace whispered, "do you think Hatz and Isu…?"

Agni bit his lip and avoided his gaze, as the nightmare of that day replayed in his mind. He witnessed Hatz get his arms ripped off when trying to protect him. He could still recall the clang of a sword hitting the floor, and Hatz's suppressed scream that gnawed deep at his guilt. He witnessed Isu get beheaded after being taken hostage, the memory of warm blood painting them both still vivid like it happened yesterday. 

Agni refused to acknowledge their possible deaths, because it felt like a nightmare that one day he could hopefully wake up from. He avoided the topic when Grace brought it up, so he wouldn't have to say it aloud and make it real. He had been so hard on himself, because he couldn't get rid of the feeling that he had failed Grace and everyone else involved.

Agni knew this had to change if he wanted to live better, now that they had gotten a second chance. So he swallowed down the lump in his throat that had built up over the years and asked mostly to himself; "What are the odds of their survival?"

"There's always a chance–"

"Grace." Agni looked him straight in the eye. "They were already severely injured before the explosion hit."

Grace fell silent and went still.

Agni felt a pang of guilt upon witnessing Grace's reaction. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap." Agni fiddled with his hands. He realized that he didn't know how much Grace knew of what happened. "My scar…do you know how I got it?"

"I…was told it was from the family heads' battle." Grace looked thoughtful. Agni knew he was trying to be careful with his words. "A stray attack?"

"It could have been worse." The memory of the scorching heat on his skin felt like it had only happened yesterday. He passed out right when he was about to heal Isu, and only found out later that he also lost sweetfish at that time. The days he spent recovering from the burn, to withstand the excruciating pain every second he was conscious, and finally coming to terms that it'd be a permanent scar, was one of the turning points that had changed him forever. Were Grace not there to care for him, he might have ended up destroying himself even more.

Agni hadn't realized he had his left hand clawing on his cheek until Grace pried his hand off and frowned, "You're doing it again."

"Maybe I should wear the mask…" Agni muttered to himself. After all, Grace gave it to him less so he could hide the scar but more to prevent him from unconsciously hurting himself. The only time he could safely take it off was when Grace was around.

Agni bit his lip nervously when Grace didn't reply. He no longer had the courage to look Grace in the eye that spoke so much concern, so he leaned close and rested his head on Grace's chest. "Rak, Isu, Hatz and Hwaryun were trying to get me out of that damned place. But we were caught while escaping, and…it was a bloodbath. I was…too occupied to react to the incoming heat. Rak shielded us from the explosion. And when I woke up…"

"They weren’t with you," Grace finished it for him after Agni trailed off a moment too long.

Agni nodded dazedly, "I've been telling myself that they're still alive, after a blow that could kill rankers. But…who am I kidding? I was lucky enough to survive with just this little–" Agni vaguely pointed to himself– "inconvenience."

Agni felt a hand gripping his arm, and he pulled away to see Grace looking at him with a pained expression. His eyes were glossy and his lips were pulled into a thin line. Trusting his instinct, Agni reached out to gently trace and cup Grace's cheek with his free hand.

"I'm sorry," Agni muttered. "I'm sorry, for not telling you sooner."

Agni silently witnessed tears that streamed down on his love's face. It was a bitter sight that Agni wished he'd never have to see again, that he had tried to avoid for so long by not telling him. He pulled Grace in and held him close to his chest, as if Agni was trying to gather his own crumbled heart back together.

Grace mumbled their late best friends' names as he held onto him tighter, shaking from each breath he took between sniffles.

Agni felt his own eyes sting with unshed tears. He remembered the years he spent climbing the tower together with his old team. Despite their banter being his source of headaches, Agni knew he too had come to acknowledge them as his cherished friends. Only when they were gone did Agni realize how much he'd miss having them around. Seeing the younger them didn't exactly close the gaping hole in his heart, but at least the emptiness was more filled.

Agni squeezed Grace tighter. "We have their younger selves with us now. We will protect them better this time."

Grace only nodded and sank further into his embrace. And Agni planted kisses on his hair, relishing the thought that after everything he had gone through, Grace was still a constant in his life. As long as he had him, everything would be okay.

When Grace started shaking again, Agni caressed his hair and hummed a comfort song they had known by heart. Still, it didn't make falling asleep any easier for Agni, especially not after admitting that his nightmare was very much real. However, as he had been through grief…this, too, would pass.

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#Whee we get to know some of their past. Specifically their turning point #I hope it flows nicely because i have rewritten this like 3 times now 😭😭😭 dialogues are just not my specialty #like how to make them reveal such information without making them come out of the blue #writing style aside. let's talk about why Agni behaves this way #I will save the details on the what and how for the prologue. but basically Agni had been through hell that he couldn't escape alone #Rak Hatz and Isu saved him (or attempted to). and Agni owed them for saving his life. thus the strong attachment that Khun doesn't have #also let me mention that Agni had trouble differentiating between hallucination and reality after the incident. So he was kind of in denial #maybe Agni had come to a conclusion that they might be dead months after that. but he was too afraid to admit it to Grace #because he thought it was partly his fault for being incompetent. and Grace would hate him for letting their friends die #not wanting to risk being left by Grace. he just put himself (and inevitably Grace too) in the illusion of truth #that there's still a chance their friends are still alive because they have no proof of their deaths #so when Agni was offered to go back to the past. he agreed to it. Already expecting that Rak Hatz Isu aren't the same ones that he looks fo #but it was as good as he could get to redeem himself. Plus they get to meet everyone else who they couldn't save #Anyway. I'm taking hiatus until April. In return I will answer if you have any questions whether it is written in the tags or sent via ask #see ya folks <3 we'll get more brothers and team bonding when I return #tower of god #tog #two sides of the same coin fic #my fic #my art #bam #25th bam #jue viole grace #khun #khun aguero agnis #khunbam #shibisu #ship leesoo #rak wraithraiser #hatz

[bestworstcase]

gnawing on the penny 3.0 thing like a dog with a bone again (<- ozlem counterfactual edition) cause like

"even if the worst does happen, you can always reactivate her again, so maybe try not to worry so much." ruby saying this is how we learn that penny is out of lives (because she's already been deactivated and reactivated so many times that pietro doesn't have enough of his soul left to give her any more) and then v9 does this. and that coexists with the ruby/oscar setup turning on ruby's fear of and refusal to reckon honestly with oscar's mortality.

salem prayed to the gods for a miracle.

ruby took it for granted that penny could and would be brought back an infinite number of times, and by extension assumed that it wouldn't be a big deal if penny were, in effect, executed by the state for a crime she didn't commit. (what would have happened in V8 if ruby hadn't been informed otherwise? if ruby still believed penny could be reactivated, no problem, when the virus hit and penny suggested "kill me" as the solution?)

which is a fascinating contrast but not really one that reflects optimistically on ruby/penny as a romantic pairing; ruby's grief is underpinned by that devaluation of penny's life in V7. "you can always reactivate her again"—idk. it's objectifying.

i do sort of anticipate V10 touching on the possibility of rebuilding penny because salem never tried to bring ozma back, because ozma was not an object or a fairytale hero or a security blanket to her in the way that penny was to ruby and pietro. and then there's winter, who got to say goodbye (because she never treated penny like a machine) and has accepted that penny is gone forever.

#''do they get to choose what their next life will be?'' <- this is the crucial part #and it's uh. notably not a question pietro or ruby ever considered with regard to penny #whereas salem let ozma go and *he* chose to return to her and that's why their eventual reconciliation is inevitable

[wonder-worker]

(Edward IV) had two healthy young sons and died peacefully, in the belief that, with his enemies dead or compromised and his family loyalties assured, they would survive to adulthood, securing the future of the House of York. That this proved not to be the case should add a note of pathos to his history which has, in fact, been conspicuously absent.

Andrew Robert Whittle, “The Historical Reputation of Edward IV 1461-1725”

#edward iv #my post #I think that historians who compress or diminish Edward's reign by narrativizing the WotR or viewing it as a grand historical sequence #or viewing the renewing to conflict in 1483 as inevitable when it wasn't and certainly wasn't viewed that way at the time - #really miss the poignance of this and the impact it would have probably had with contemporaries. #It's like Horrox said: 'Even more fundamental was the perception that it had been Richard who after the stability of Edward IV's last years #had triggered the return to political conflict for what could be essentially seen as selfish reasons' #And it's really tragic because Edward IV seems to have really trusted his brother #(Elizabeth Woodville seems to have also trusted her brother-in-law) #Only for his brother to betray and destroy his family