Veghead Secret Santa 2023 drabble drop! Sorry this was late @sweet-sweet-petunia but I had strep throat!! (probably). Anyways. As winner of biggest medical malpractice fan I present to you... whatever this is.
“Doctor” Larry was setting up shop for the day. If he were to be entirely honest he didn’t know how he got into this position, but all he knew was that danger lurked in the big city, disaster waited in every dark alley, peril behind every park bench. The world needed a doctor. But not just an ordinary hero, no! A special doctor. He was that doctor. Wherever there's trouble, he’ll be there! Whenever a helpless vegetable calls out, he will answer! Evil-doers beware! You are no match for the awesome power of doctor Larry and his medical malpractice!
As Larry replayed this internal monologue in his head over and over he almost hadn’t noticed his first appointment of the day walk in.
“Hello?” A familiar voice called out “Doctor Larry?”
Dad Asparagus. He was early, but he was usually quite punctual so that didn’t surprise Larry at all.
“Mr. Dad! Happy to see you in my… clinic.” Larry spoke seemingly unsure, as it was quite literally just the yodelling veterinarian set repurposed.
“Oh, that’s too formal. You can just call me Dad!” Dad grinned.
“So… what brings ya in, Dad?” Doctor Larry pretended to scribble something down in a notebook.
“Just here for my routine check up.” Dad smiled happily.
This, of course, was quite the relief for Dr. Larry. He used the props he had at his disposal and Dad didn't seem to know the difference. As the appointment wrapped up, Larry let out a sigh of relief. One down... four to go? That couldn't be right.
However, work of his medical practice had spread quickly so he sighed, waiting for his next patient. Another one he figured would be easy.
"Esther!" Larry grinned. "Great to see ya! What can I do for you?"
"You're.... the doctor?" Esther questioned somewhat skeptically.
"Sure am!" Larry grinned, hoping she wouldn't ask any further questions.
"Okay, well, um," Esther started slowly. "I was hoping to get a refill on this prescription. It's nothing major, just anti anxiety medication."
"Hmm.." The Good Doctor paused, thinking. "Have you ever considered... not being anxious?"
"Yes." Esther spoke dryly. "That's what the prescription is for.
"Oh." Larry paused. "Well, I can't do that. I'm not a prescription kind of doctor."
"Then what kind of doctor are you?" Esther questioned, clearly confused and somewhat frustrated by this.
"A great one." Larry winked. "I can refer you though! To Doctor..."
"Who?" Esther sighed out, exasperated.
"Yes!" Larry grinned, knowing the name Doctor Who sounded familiar and that he could just roll with that. "Doctor Who!"
Before Esther truly had a chance to respond, Larry was practically pushing her out of his office. "Another satisfied customer." He thought to himself.
"Uh... Doctor Larry?" A voice came from just outside the door as Esther left.
"Jerry?" Larry smiled happily. "Come on in, buddy! You're early!"
"Yeah... early." jerry nodded.
"What brings you in to my very real office today?" Larry grinned.
"I've had a sort of... epiphany." Jerry paused. "Yeah, epiphany."
"What was your epihpiphananny?" Larry questioned.
"It's embarrassing but... I don't... I don't have a bellybutton. No bellybutton."
This caused Larry to laugh. "You say your belly button's missing? There's no reason for alarm. It's a common thing for gourds! It won't do you any harm." He waved Jerry off with his invisible hand, once again practically pushing him out of his office.
Larry smiled greatly, thinking that if he just happened to have that bellybutton knowledge, maybe he didn't need medical school after all! His thoughts were distracted though, as he watched someone hop in.
"Petunia?" He questioned. "You don't have an appointment."
"Is it so bad that I wanrted to come see you?" She giggled.
This caused a light blush to come across Larry's slender cucumber face. (It did WHAT across his slender cucumber face?)
"Aw, it's so nice of you to drop by!" He hopped over to her, giving her a small kiss and warm embrace. "I gotta be honest though, 'Tunia. I'm slammed today with clients. Clients? Patients? Vegetables?"
"Yeah, about that," Petunia started slowly, "Just how... long have you been a doctor? Are you, you know, qualified?"
"Sure!" Larry shrugged his invisible shoulders. "It's not that hard." He avoided the question of how long it had been just in case it came back to him in a court of law.
Before Petunia had a chance to answer, a slender Asparagus form appeared in the doorway.
"I guess that;s your next client patient vegetable." She giggled as she left.
"Archibald!" Larry grinned before suddenly remembering the last time Archie visited his office. "I hope this isn't another cease and desist."
"Ah, not quite," Archibald tried his best to look around for proof of medical malpractice.
"So... what's your appointment for, then?" Larry questioned obliviously.
"I just needed a check up. Yes! Nothing else." Archibald smiled unconvincingly, but luckily for him, Larry was an idiot.
"Great!" Larry repeated the same check up he did with Dad earlier, once again using very basic props. Archibald, of course, took note of every little instance jotting them down in his mind, and also physically on a notebook.
"Whatcha writing?" Larry questioned, curiously but somewhat just trying to make small talk.
"Ah, nothing to be concerned with." Archibald recomposed himself as the 'check up' finished. "I will... be in touch soon."
"Oh, for another appointment?" Larry questioned.
"Sure." Archibald responded nonchalantly.
Larry looked down at his schedule. As if on queue, the most perfect little man in the whole world. An angel in blueberry's clothing. Perhaps the greatest character in this whole universe. I, the narrator, am obviously completely unbiased. But this silly little blueberry could melt anyone's heart and does every day to me, Chewie, the narrator.
"Bonjour!" Francois hopped over to Larry. "I have... un petite problem."
"Ah! Francois! What can I do for you?" Larry smiled. "What sort of problem's are you having?" Larry questioned trying to look as professional as he can.
"Since you are un docteur, I was thinking, perhaps... you may have,,, how you say... un paternity test?"
"Paternity test?" Larry was taken aback by this request. "Like on Maury?"
"I do not know who this Maury is... but in France we have une tres popular television show called Maurice. C'est un show where they determine... is a man le papa? Or non?"
"I see." Larry nodded, only understanding about half of what this sweet special little guy was saying. "I um, I don't have any of those I'm afraid."
"I see." Francois sighed out. "Well, it was worth un chance. I suppose I will keep trying. It is not like mon papa will not just walk through the door."
Suddenly, and without warning, the door was thrown open.
"Larry?" Bob was visibly confused. "What are you doing?"
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Friday, June 24, 2022 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)
WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?:
HELLO, JACK! THE KINDNESS SHOW (Apple TV+)
LOOT (Apple TV +)
TREVOR: THE MUSICAL (Disney + Star)
RISE (Disney + Star)
49th DAYTIME EMMY AWARDS (Global) 9:00pm
WHAT IS NOT PREMIERING IN CANADA TONIGHT
AMERICAN ANTHEMS (PBS Feed)
THE GREAT AMERICAN RECIPE (PBS Feed)
TRAPPED WITH MY HUSBAND (TBD - Lifetime Canada)
NEW TO AMAZON PRIME CANADA/CBC GEM/CRAVE TV/DISNEY + STAR/NETFLIX CANADA:
AMAZON PRIME CANADA
BOUNDLESS
CHLOE
AT HOME WITH THE GILS
THE O.C. (Seasons 1- 4)
THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY
CBC GEM
A GIRL’S GUIDE TO HUNTING, FISHING AND WILD COOKING
CRAVE TV
THE CHI (Season 5, Episode 1)
THE DEANNE SMITH EXPERIENCE
DRIVE MY CAR
FIRST COW
THE FRENCH DISPATCH
LAST OF THE GIANTS (Season 1)
SING 2
SOMMERSBY
TIGERLAND
VEGHEADS (Season 1)
WE HUNT TOGETHER
DISNEY + STAR
BACKSTORY: SERENA VS. THE UMPIRE
THE BINGE
PLAN B
RISE
TREVOR: THE MUSICAL
NETFLIX CANADA
ANGRY BIRDS: SUMMER MADNESS (Season 2)
THE MAN FROM TORONTO
MAN VS. BEE
MONEY HEIST: KOREA – JOINT ECONOMIC AREA
RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE: ALL STARS (Season 6)
MEMORIAL CUP (TSN/TSN5) 6:00pm: Round Robin - Game #5: Edmonton Oil Kings vs. Hamilton Bulldogs
MLB BASEBALL
(SN Now) 7:00pm: Dodgers vs. Atlanta
(SN1) 8:00pm: Jays vs. Brewers
BULL'S EYE (APTN) 7:00pm: The Indigenous contestants test their cultural knowledge through a series of perplexing questions about transportation.
ITCH (Wildbrain TV) 7:30pm (SEASON PREMIERE): When there's an explosion in the bay and poisoned fish wash onto the shore, Itch and his friends wonder whether Greencorp are to blame.
NHL HOCKEY FINALS (CBC/SN) 8:00pm: Lightning vs. Avalanche - Game #5
CFL FOOTBALL (TSN/TSN3/TSN4/TSN5) 8:30pm: Ti-Cats vs. Blue Bombers
A PRICELESS LOVE (City TV) 8:00pm: Rose McGovern realizes that one of the items in her secondhand store is actually an antique teapot worth $80K. An ambitious antique broker tries to buy the piece from her, but she's determined to find the original owner.
HOLMES FAMILY RESCUE (CTV) 9:00pm: After hiring four different contractors, a couple calls on Mike, Michael and Sherry to solve the mystery of the ongoing leak; Mike and Sherry visit a family who desperately needs to make their home accessible for their son.
DRIVE MY CAR (Crave) 9:00pm: An aging, widowed actor seeks a chauffeur. The actor turns to his go-to mechanic, who ends up recommending a 20-year-old girl. Despite their initial misgivings, a very special relationship develops between the two.
CRIME BEAT (Global) 10:00pm
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