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#use them wisely… or not
parttimesarah · 8 months
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When you can’t shave your mustache because you have to play a gay army captain who died in the 1940s and haunts a manor house…
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petricorah · 1 month
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scenes i loved from Real Enough to Get Me Through by @marriedzukka <333 [ids in alt]
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puppyeared · 1 year
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OK OK as much as I like shadowpeach starting as friends consider… hate at first sight <3
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bleedingoptimism · 5 months
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It’s a little after eleven when Eddie finally manages to get Tarja to bed. It’s hard for her without her plushie. And really, Eddie is very thankful having a hyper-fixation with her toy seems to be the only ‘consequence’ of having divorced parents Tarja seems to have right now. He always worries if having two homes and constantly moving between them is good for her or not. Especially with Tommy being Tarja’s other dad, but against all odds, he’s good to her. So their kid is doing just fine. She’s happy. And if she’s happy, Eddie is happy.
He’s getting ready to open a beer and relax when there’s a knock on the door. He smiles, assuming is Steve bringing Toothless over and almost knocks his beer to the floor when he opens the door.
Steve looks… well he looks amazing, dressed to the nines. Must’ve been date night. But his eyes are red and puffy, his face covered in dark blotches, and his lips are swollen like he’s been biting them too much.
He’s hugging Toothless to his chest and he smiles at Eddie when he sees him, but he looks so sad it breaks his heart.
Eddie throws the beer behind him, sure it will land on the couch and cradles Steve’s face between his hands, “What did that asshole do?
Steve leans into his touch and shuts his eyes for a moment before sighing and stepping away from him, walking inside and sitting on the couch still holding Toothless like a lifeline. 
“Nothing, he was just-” Steve shakes his head and chuckles darkly, “He’s just so mean,” 
Eddie drops to his knees in front of him and dips his head to look Steve in the eye just like he did that day in the park.
“Break up with him,” he says.
“I can’t.”
“Tommy doesn't deserve you, Steve. You are worth so much more than what that asshole makes you feel. You deserve better. More. Everything,” Eddie pleads, placing his hands on Steve’s knees and squeezing, “If it’s because of Tarja, we’ll figure something out, ok? Lots of people keep in contact with their parent’s significant other after they break up” He rushes, the speech he didn't have quite prepared last week coming out of him in a single breath, “We are friends, right? So you can still visit and see her. Visit me. You don’t have to stop being a part of our lives.” 
Steve is staring at him right now like Eddie just gifted him the moon and he’s so beautiful it’s kind of hard for Eddie to keep eye contact, but he squeezes Steve’s knees again to ground himself and does. Steve needs to know he’s very serious about this. About him.
Eyes shining, Steve takes a deep breath and nods slowly, a tear falling down his cheek that Eddie follows with his eyes and watches until it hides under Steve’s v-neck shirt.
“Hey, even I didn’t put up with Tommy's shit for Tarja’s sake and I birthed her,” he jokes awkwardly, trying to make him laugh and feels like doing a little victory dance when Steve snorts cutely,
“Okay,” he hiccups.
“Yeah?” Eddie smiles back at him, relieved.
“Yeah,” Steve sighs, “Fuck Tommy.” And drops back on the couch, looking exhausted, “Can I stay here tonight?” he asks in a whisper, like he’s afraid Eddie will say no. As if.
“Yeah, of course,” Is what he answers, and has half a mind to invite him into his bed but knows it’s a terrible idea. So he lends Steve his favorite flannel pajamas and sets blankets and a pillow on the couch and they say their goodnights.
And if he does a little dance when he closes the door to his room, no one is there to see.
In the morning, Steve stays for breakfast. And attempts to kill Eddie by making his heart explode, cooking it himself from scratch with Tarja’s help, who is so happy she won’t stop running around the kitchen making Toothless fly and sing about ‘happy family breakfast time’.
It’s actually hard to tell if she’s happier to have her plushie back or that Steve is there. Eddie, on the other hand, knows exactly what he’s happiest about. Death by tenderness. Is that a thing? He amuses himself thinking about a couple csi’s with sunglasses saying it, 
“He died because he witnessed something too cute,”
“Ah yes, death by fondness. I’ve seen it before.”
After, Eddie walks him to the door and Steve smiles sweetly at him, and holds his hand, squeezing it once before letting go, “Well, see you. I guess,” he says bashfully and there’s a moment there, a second where time stops and Eddie thinks he should kiss him. Wants to kiss him, needs to kiss him.
But he doesn’t. Because Steve is still dating Tommy, and just because he said he was going to break up with him doesn’t mean he wants to start something new with Eddie.
Eddie himself called him his friend for the first time last night for christ sake. ‘Fucking chill’ he thinks to himself.
🧸
And then a week goes by without hearing a word from Steve. But Eddie doesn't hold it against him.
At first, he figures he needs time to think but then he starts to wonder if he really is going to break up with Tommy. Four days in, he gets paranoid about it. Maybe Steve got brainwashed into thinking Eddie is bad for him. Maybe Tommy told him Eddie was putting ideas in his head, that he shouldn’t talk to him anymore… With him telling Steve to break up with his boyfriend and all... 
He’s well aware of how manipulative Tommy can be and has seen the way he belittles Steve to keep him around, so he knows it’ll be hard for Steve to actually go through with it.
And he can’t exactly show up at Tommy’s and steal Steve away, no matter how appealing the idea might be. The only thing he can do is just think of Steve, wish him well, and send him strength to do what he needs to do. At the end of the day, it needs to be his decision. His choice.
As Tommy’s week with Tarja approaches he starts getting more and more anxious, wondering if it’ll be Steve or Tommy who picks her up.
When the day finally arrives, and the doorbell rings, Tarja runs to open the door and Eddie peeks his head through the hallway.
“Daddy!” Tarja screams.
“Hey, Tata! You ready?” Tommy says and Eddie steps into the hall to greet him too.
“Not yet!” Tarja chuckles and Tommy smiles at her,
“Okay, go get ready. I’ll wait here,”
Eddie walks to the door and leans on the doorframe, “Hey,”
“Hi. Long time no see,” Tommy says and then adds, “You look great,”
“You don’t,” Eddie answers, because it’s true. He looks like shit. Greasy hair, bags under his eyes, chapped lips, wrinkles on his clothes, “What happened?”
“Steve broke up with me.” 
Eddie’s eyes go wide and he smiles, he doesn’t even try to hide it, “He did?”
“Don’t smile, fucker,” Tommy says but there’s no heat behind it. He knows he deserves it.
“Sorry,” Eddie says, not sorry at all.
“Stop,” Tommy whines because Eddie’s smile is actually getting bigger,
“Sorry,” he repeats and then clears his throat, “Did he tell you why?”
“Because I’m a horrible person,” Tommy groans.
“Hey, the first step is to ad-”
“To admit it, yeah, yeah. I know” Tommy interrupts him, groaning again.
Eddie sighs, and punches Tommy’s shoulder lightly, “Look, Tommy, I’m just going to say this because, well… you are pathetic. You need to do better.” And then he points to his back, to where Tarja’s disappeared to get her stuff, “She’s going to grow up and realize you are an awful person and she’s not going to want you in her life. And I’m not going to dissuade her from it, because I already don’t want you to be in mine, you know that, right?”
Tommy looks at him seriously and then nods once, fast and hard. Like he gets it. Like he agrees and is determined to change. And Eddie hopes for Tarja’s sake he is. But knows, deep in his heart, that either way, she’s going to be fine.
“Also, just a heads up. I’m in love with Steve and I’m going to ask him out,” he adds in a rush when he hears Tarja running up behind him.
“You are shitting me,” Tommy whispers, shocked and clenching his teeth.
Eddie laughs, “Nope,” he says, closing his lips loudly around the P.
“Eddie,” Tommy warns him like he’s waiting for Eddie to say he's joking.
“What? I hear he’s single,” Eddie smirks.
“You motherfuc- Hey Tata!” Gathering Tarja in his arms, Tommy drops the subject but he glares at Eddie as he kisses Tarja’s cheek goodbye and murmurs ‘unbelievable’ as he’s leaving. Eddie closes the door and starts laughing at the look on Tommy’s face.
He needs to call Steve.
He tries a couple of times but he doesn’t pick up and he starts worrying Steve might not actually want to talk to him, and then there’s a knock on the door but Eddie, too preoccupied with his anxiety, opens without looking, thinking Tarja forgot something.
When he doesn't hear her, Eddie looks up from his ‘ignored calls’ screen to see nonother than Steve standing there, looking nervous and like a fucking dream with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. A fucking bouquet of flowers. For him. For Eddie. All different shades of red, because he knows is his favorite color.
Eddie just blinks at him a couple of times and Steve flushes even more and drops the hand holding up the flowers, scratches the back of his neck nervously, “This was stupid, the flowers were fucking stupid. They are stupid. I’m stupid, right?”
A laugh bubbles out of Eddie and he grabs him by the scruff of his shirt and pulls him inside. He closes the door once they are both in and slams Steve against it, crushing their lips together. Steve circles his arms around Eddie and holds him close, instantly returning the kiss with fervor. 
They kiss as if it were fate. They kiss until it's hard to breathe and Eddie pulls away only to kiss him again, and again, and again.
“Not stupid,” he murmurs between kisses and feels Steve’s smile against his lips.
Eventually, Eddie takes a step back and lets Steve into his home properly, “Hi,” he says cheesily.
“Hi,” Steve says back grinning, then he lifts up the bouquet again, which is now completely ruined by him still holding it strongly while they made out like crazy, and his smile drops,
“Shit,” he pouts cutely, god Eddie wants to eat him. He laughs and takes the flowers anyway, putting them in an empty glass bottle, because he doesn’t own a flower vase, because he’s a normal human being. ‘Who the fuck owns a flower vase?’
“Come here,” he says, holding out both hands for Steve to take and follow him.
Steve takes his hands but doesn't move, instead swings them from side to side, “Wait, let's talk,”
Fuck, yeah. They should. That’s a good idea. Fuck. Damn, Steven Whatever-The-Fuck-Is-His-Middle-Name Harrington and his sensible and very logical choice…
Eddie huffs exaggeratedly making Steve chuckle and redirects them to the couch, where they sit still holding hands, “Alas,” he says dramatically, “You are right, we should talk. I actually wanted to ask you out properly, not debauch you the second you walked through the door. Sorry about that” he lies, not sorry at all, again.
Steve blushes and smiles, drawing little circles with his thumbs on Eddie’s hands, “Yeah me too. I wanna do this right. Ask you out. Go on dates. I think we should take this slow,”
Eddie makes a face and groans at that. He doesn't want to take it slow. He wants Steve to move in right now or something. Steve rolls his eyes amused at his interruption and keeps going,
“I came here to ask you out the right way because I want you to know I’m committed. But we should think about how this will affect Tarja… and Tommy too. We should go out a few times, spend some time alone, and I want you to meet my friends and my parents and I want to meet your friends and your uncle too and just do this properly and-”
Eddie interrupts him with a kiss, he can’t take it anymore, he’s been dying to kiss Steve for months now and he’s so sweet and thoughtful it makes Eddie insane, makes him feel like he needs to ruin him, but in a nice way, like with devotion and love.
Steve lets go of his hands to wrap his arms around Eddie’s waist and hoists him until he’s straddling Steve. Eddie leans his elbows on Steve’s shoulders, and buries his hands in his hair, pulling and messing with it.
“Okay but have you considered having hard, hot, wet sex, and then maybe we do what you said?” He asks panting against Steve’s lips and actually feeling how that punches the air out of him.
He hugs Eddie closer to his chest and whines, “Yeah okay, we can do it your way,” and gets up, lifting Eddie with him as if he were weightless. Eddie squawks and laughs all the way to his room.
🧸
They spend the week together, talking, eating, drinking, laughing and fucking. Except it’s more than that because when Eddie is inside Steve, with his tongue, his fingers, or his strap, it feels like more. It feels like love. Like fate.
Steve, still determined to take things slow, doesn’t stay there all the time, going back to Robin’s where he moved back to after breaking up with Tommy. He actually brings her over one day and the three of them spend the afternoon together. Eddie decides they are going to be best friends immediately because Robin is hilarious and merciless. When Steve gets back the next day he kisses Eddie so good and hard his knees almost give out on him and tells him he has Robin’s seal of approval. Something he knows Tommy never got.
When the week passes Eddie says goodbye theatrically as if they were cross-star lovers in a bad soap opera and Steve chuckles and calls him ridiculous but kisses him so passionately that Eddie drags him right back inside and they say goodbye again a few hours later.
They had decided to wait until Eddie talked to Tarja about her feelings over Tommy’s and Steve’s breakup and whether she still wanted Steve around or not before having him over again.
But when Tarja gets back home she’s gloomy and silent. She hugs Eddie in greeting when she arrives and then spends the rest of the day lying face down on the floor and occasionally sighing loudly, obviously trying to make Eddie ask her what’s wrong.
And really, Eddie shouldn't find it as funny as he does, but he thinks about calling Wayne and telling him he gets it now when Wayne used to tell him he had too much personality.
Eventually, he lies on the floor next to her and asks. Tarja looks at him with big sad eyes and says, “I haven't seen Steve in a million years! And Daddy said he is not his boyfriend anymore! So I’ll never see him again and I miss him”
Eddie coos at her, “I’m sorry you miss him little dragon, but you can totally see him again! Would you like me to call him? Since he’s my friend too?” Already trying to strategize on how to tell her they are more than friends.
Tarja lights up and jumps off the floor and onto Eddie, punching the breath out of him, “Yes! Yes! Call Steve! Steve smiles more when he’s with you than he did with daddy anyway. Why don’t you boyfriend him instead?”
Well… that was easy.
He chuckles and shakes his head, “That’s a great idea sweety, go grab my phone,”
Tarja runs and grabs Eddie’s phone off the table and hands it to him, he doesn’t bother getting off the floor so she kneels beside him listening attentively as he dials Steve’s number. 
“Hi, handsome, you talked with Tarja already?” Steve greets him after it rings twice.
“Yeah about that, turns out Tarja talked to me, actually,” he chuckles, “Hi, by the way”
“Hi,” Steve repeats lovingly and laughs, “What do you mean?”
“She had this awesome idea!” he says winking at her and she covers her mouth with her tiny hands to hide her giggles, “That, since you are not with Tommy anymore, you should be my boyfriend instead,” he continues, voice going soft and chuckles when he hears Steve's breathless ‘oh’ on the other side of the line, “Come over?”
“Of course, gimme an hour? I'm with a client” Steve hums and Eddie whispers he’ll give him anything he asks for and hangs up.
An hour later Tarja is still lying on the floor, only now it’s with papers and crayons spread all around her when the doorbell rings. She looks up at Eddie excitedly and he nods at her, “Go on then”
Tarja runs to the door and opens it wide to reveal Steve standing there as beautiful as ever, giving Eddie a deja vu of the first time he saw him.
“Papa Steve!” Tarja yells and jumps up to hug him.
Steve gasps and falls to his knees with her in his arms and looks up at Eddie with shocked wet eyes.
‘So much for taking it slow,’ Eddie thinks with a smirk.
Fin.
☝️first part
☕🥐💕?
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haunted-xander · 9 months
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Catalyst is objectively the funniest weapon type because amongs the catalyst users we have:
BOMBS
*Throws rocks at you* *throws rocks at you* *throw rocks at you*
Stamp of JUSTICE
What? Catalyst? No, no. Gohei wand
Cast spell: THROW HANDS
Magic keyboard
Snake. (literally)
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hydrachea · 6 months
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Genshin fans: So the archons are going to be only 2 men to 5 women? That's kind of uneven...
Mihoyo: Sorry, it is what it is.
Mihoyo in 4.2, giving Neuvillette his authority over Hydro back and straight-up destroying the very concept of the Hydro archon: SIKE.
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strawberrybyers · 16 days
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i truly would not be mad if nancy breaks up with jonathan and tells steve to move on. and for vickie to tell robin she’s not interested but is willing to be friends. so nancy and robin decide they need to hang out after a long day of heartbreak and throughout their convos of explaining everything that’s been going on, they realize they have feelings for each other. i truly would not be mad at that. in fact, that’s exactly what i want to happen 😌
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mangofanarts · 2 months
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I miss them, can they interact again Also, I don't remember what event it exactly was, but I do remember that they jokingly left together towards a sunset, it might have been during Festa Junina
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cozylittleartblog · 7 months
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you made a fake discord post w queen and swatch a while back, do you happen to have / want to post the icons from that? the swatch one is super super cute
thank you! those were just messy doodles that i didn't have separate copies of, but for funsies i spend a half hour making the High Def Versions for you ✨
y'all are welcome to use these as social media or discord icons, please just credit me in your bio/sidebar/etc!
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justarandomart · 1 year
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parttimesarah · 7 months
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From Michael’s appearance on Comic Relief’s Celebrity Bake Off [1/2]
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westwing19 · 6 months
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Squeaky
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zo1nkss · 6 months
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It's just that ppl who woobify the yt antagonist ALWAYS get the fan service. They ALWAYS get to live in their little fantasy world where the guy did nothing wrong and they can just go about their lives pretending everything is fine.
But for once a showrunner didn't choose them and they can't fucking handle that.
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goldensunset · 6 months
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wait wait wait i’ve got it. ‘evil’ pokémon team but it’s just an entire union of nurse joys on strike. they’re tired of working literally 24/7 and getting paid what i can only assume is pennies from the government agency that runs the pokécenter program and they’ve finally snapped. in this game you gotta heal and revive your mons yourself, ya bum. bonus points if pokémart employees are on strike too and you literally only have access to stray potions and stuff you happen to find in the grass. combination of creating a fun gameplay challenge and educating children about the importance and rights of the working class
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unclewaynemunson · 7 months
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Thinking thoughts about Nancy Wheeler again. About how she was the most Teenage Girl ever, gossiping with her bestie while twirling her phone cord around her fingers and kicking her legs in the air. About how she lost everything that embodied her Teenage Girl self in one night: her virginity, her best friend, her carefree smiles and giggles. How she turned into a soldier, got consumed by guilt, and could never return to the youth that she lost.
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tennessoui · 7 months
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I'm begging on my hands and knees for more Twilight au, and those are words I never thought I'd say! Anakin being able to resist compulsion, and Obi-Wan seeming instantly obsessed, and poor Shmi! Pretty please 🥺🙏
hey!! sure! here's some more!
(2.5k)
Having a sheriff for a mom sucked a lot when he was a kid growing up in a small town. There was probably nothing Anakin was rebelling against more at eleven, at thirteen, at seventeen than the rule of law his mother represented. 
All things considered, she was pretty good at separating her home life from her worklife. It was Anakin who was bad at respecting the separation, Anakin who couldn’t keep son out of delinquent.  There’s only so many times he could be pulled out of wreckage and bars and buildings with Keep Out No Trespassing signs on them before he got The Sheriff at home and out in public.
He’d hated it growing up and had come to grudgingly respect it later and in fits and starts. His dad dying had, terribly and ironically, helped a lot. His mother had had a stroke just before and then Anakin had been faced with the possibility of being an orphan, and the terror of that had mellowed him out.
Sorta.
He still hates a lot of things about his mother’s job. Especially the fact that she’s the sheriff of a very small town.
And when people talk, she listens.
The thing about small towns is that everyone’s always fucking talking. And other people are always fucking lsitening so they can talk later. One big fucking community, which means when Anakin comes home from his weird doctor’s appointment with Dr. Kenobi, a few hours later because he took a detour biking along the edge of the seaside cliffs just to spit in the good doctor’s metaphorical face, Shmi Skywalker already knows more than Anakin ever planned to tell her.
Like, for instance, “Sheila says that Dr. Kenobi thought it would behoove you to spend some time at the local library volunteering.”
Anakin pauses, backpack half-slung off his shoulders. He hangs his stuff up slowly, careful to keep his tone very light. “Did Sheila say what I told him after he said that?” 
His mom’s silence is very loud.
“I don’t want to do i—”
“I asked the new librarian about it on my way home from the station. She thinks it’s a wonderful idea. Apparently we used to have a program like that in the forties but it died out during the war.”
“Mom, come on—”
“It’ll look good on resumes, saying you created and supported a local reading program.”
“Yeah, but I’m a bit too old to be applying for babysitting positio—”
“It’ll look good for me as well,” Shmi says in her sheriff voice. “Elections are coming up soon. It’ll be good, if my kid was involved in the community.”
Anakin’s glad that his back is still turned to the living room, where his mom is sitting. “Are you gonna run again?” he asks, paying special attention to his tone this time.
“Why wouldn’t I?” his mom replies. “I’ve been sheriff for a decade and a half.”
Anakin lets his eyes fall closed for a second, knowing that his face can’t be seen. This is how they end up half the time: Shmi’s ardent belief that she is invincible, going up against Anakin’s desperate desire for her to be so.
And they just don’t talk about it. As if they’re actually in agreement.
He knows how this is going to shake out.
“Do you have any plans tomorrow?” His mother asks.
Anakin’s eyes remain closed. “I guess so,” he says.
—--------
Mrs. Kenobi—call me Satine—is sort of scary up close. She’s tall. She glides between bookshelves. Anakin’s never met someone who glides before. And she’s so intensely, incredibly, blindingly perfect that Anakin would rather be anywhere but in her vicinity. There’s something incredibly unnerving about the symmetry of her face, the sharpness of her cheekbones. She’s obviously an absolute knock-out, just drop-dead gorgeous, but it makes Anakin’s skin crawl and his heart beat fast, but not in a good way or a normal teenage boy way.
Anakin tries to keep the unease off his face as Satine leads him through a tour of the library, a gentle hand on his forearm. That’s another thing Anakin doesn’t really like. She’s wearing satin gloves. He doesn’t know anyone who wears gloves anymore.
It’s just all a bit…unsettling.
“I put in a few words around the school yesterday afternoon,” Satine tells him. They pass by the mystery section, the fantasy section, and take a hard right into the young adult section. The shelves are smaller here, and Anakin feels rather stupidly gigantic as he and Satine walk through them. “To some parents picking their children up after school. They agreed it would be good exposure to bring them to the library for an hour or so of reading before supper.”
Anakin highly doubts it will be, but Satine hasn’t really asked him.
She sweeps past his figure and pushes open a pair of double doors with a flourish better suited for a Russian tsarina hosting an elaborate ball than a small town librarian showing off a small, cramped, and dusty room filled with padded seats and threadbare rugs.
And then, as if she has been waiting to put the last nail in the proverbial coffin, Satine adds, “A few students from the local high school will be here as well.”
“Sorry,” Anakin says, “are you saying I’m going to be reading to high school students? Can’t they do that themselves?”
After all, Anakin went to high school here. Academics hadn’t been too rigorously challenging, but they’d taught the fucking basics.
Satine raises one perfectly plucked eyebrow in his direction. “They’ll be volunteering as well.”
Oh. Right.
“It looks good on their college applications,” Satine waves a hand through the air and the words linger there. Anakin looks out the rather dirty window, jaw clenching. “I’ve already chosen a handful of books I think the young ones will enjoy.”
Anakin, committed to his fate, pads over to the titles placed carefully ontop of a short, stout side table. 
“Peter the Rabbit,” he reads off the top. “Peter Pan. Alice in Wonderland. Treasure Island. The Prince and the Pauper—look, you’re the librarian here, but don’t you have anything written this century maybe? Harry Potter, even.”
“These are classics,” Satine tells him, her nose raised into the air as if she has encountered something particularly foul-smelling. She turns away, presumably to return to the front desk so she can welcome half the fucking town inside the library so Anakin can read them fucking Anne of Green Gables and become a better person.
“These are fucking boring,” he mutters to himself, flicking the cover of the first book, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz open. Publication date: 1900. “I’d rather be in Kenobi’s office getting lectured at.”
There’s a sharp noise of disapproval from the doorway, and Anakin’s head snaps up to see the tail end of a very heated look from the librarian before the door closes behind her.
He shivers, alone in the emply room, and it takes several long minutes for his heart to settle back into its normal pace. 
—----------
After the fourth kid sneezes, Anakin closes his book with a snap and stands from the very small chair they’ve got him sitting on. “Come on,” he tells the cluster of children he’s been assigned to. “We’re getting out of here.”
“Are you kidnapping us?” One of them, a snot-nosed kid who’d started the sneezing says, rubbing at her cheek beneath her glasses. “Cause mommy says that’s not allowed.”
“I’m not kidnapping you,” Anakin snaps back, barely holding in his natural follow-up to the sentence which is of course, I don’t want to be around any of you in the first place. “Also, just for future reference, you shouldn’t ask if someone’s kidnapping you after you already start following them.”
The girl scowls and reaches up her hand to hold onto Anakin’s. 
For the love of Christ.
“We’re just going to go into the main part of the library,” Anakin tells his children, all six of them. “They have windows out there.”
They have windows out there and they also have parents. Parents who absolutely should be doing other things with their lives and precious hour of extra freetime.
Parents who are clustered instead around the library’s front desk as the town’s newest librarian holds court.
“Is reading time over?” one of the kids asks him, turning his head to look up at Anakin.
Anakin thinks about it. “Do you want reading time to be over?”
The kid thinks about it back. “Yeah,” he decides. “You don’t do the voices good.”
“It’s a boring book,” Anakin tells the kid. “Voices aren’t going to make it better.”
“Voices always make it better,” another kid says. “They make everything better.”
“Oh look,” Anakin says. “Is that your father?”
He gestures vaguely towards the cluster of drooling middle-aged somethings focused on Satine.
The kid peeks around his thigh and then shakes his head. “No,” he says. “That’s Dr. Obi.”
“Dr. Obi!” The kid holding Anakin’s hand says, and she lets go.
Anakin gets a bad feeling about this, a feeling that only doubles when he turns around to see Dr. Kenobi sauntering towards him, hands tucked into the pockets of a long dark jacket that makes him look even more pale than he already is.
He scowls automatically as the man gets closer. “Dr. Obi.”
Dr. Kenobi spares him a look that’s far too amused for Anakin’s pleasure before he crouches down to the level of the kids. “Hello there, young ones,” he says, opening his arms to accept a hug from the traitor of a girl Anakin’s just spent thirty minutes reading to. “Are you eating all your vegetables? Even the brussel sprouts?”
“I like brussel sprouts,” one of the kids reports sounding proud, and that starts a cacophony of opinions about brussel sprouts from all around Anakin.
“Wow! One of mine just absolutely hates them,” Dr. Kenobi says. “She refuses to eat them, so you’re very brave, Michele.” He lets go of the girl and turns his golden-brown gaze up to Anakin. “And what does Mr. Skywalker think?” he asks, raising a hand for Anakin to take. It’s very obvious he’s asking for a hand up and Anakin is obeying before he thinks about it. He snatches his hand free almost too soon, but Dr. Kenobi doesn’t even have the grace to lose his balance and fall over. 
His hand is like ice in Anakin’s, and Anakin stuffs his fingers into the pocket of his jacket automatically a second later.
“Do brussel sprouts help with circulation?” he’s biting out before he can stop himself. “Cause you may need some then.”
Kenobi’s head tilts very slightly to the side as his eyes catch and hold onto Anakin’s. “Oh?” he asks lightly. 
“You’re cold,” is all Anakin mutters in return. He swipes his other hand against the back of his neck. “”S poor circlutation, isn’t it? Something in your diet maybe?” Dr. Kenobi blinks at him and then breaks into a wide smile. “I can assure my diet is very…circulation-mindful,” he says. “Blood health positive.”
Anakin’s mouth thins into a line. He guesses that’s what he gets for trying to give health advice to a doctor, especially a doctor like Kenobi who just so happens to be devastatingly attractive and also smart.
And also an asshole. And also married.
Speaking of which. “Are you here to fend off your wife’s admirers with a scalpel?” Kenobi’s eyebrows raise. “Young ones,” he turns his head away from Anakin, down to the children.
The strangest feeling breaks of Anakin the second Kenobi looks away, almost as if a strange pressure he hadn’t even realized had been building was suddenly dissolved.
The very small beginnings of a headache begin to thrum in his temples.
“Young ones, it’s time to find your parents, isn’t it?” Kenobi says, and like fucking magic, the crowd of six children around Anakin disperse, children swarming away from him towards the group of adults surrounding the front desk.
“Can you teach me how to do that?” Anakin blurts out, even though he’d meant to ignore Kenobi now that he doesn’t have to make nice in front of small kids. Not that he was really making nice in the first place. But now he definitely doesn’t have to.
Kenobi gives him a half-smile, eyes heavy-lidded. “It’s a special sort of skill that takes, above all else, much practice.”
Anakin scowls. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Does Kenobi think he can’t commit himself to something even as mundane as a fucking commanding persona? Does he think he doesn’t have it in him to be–-
Kenobi’s eyebrows go up again. “Has anyone ever told you that you are exceedingly defensive?” 
“You’re extremely nosey,” Anakin snaps back, crossing his arms over his chest. “Don’t you have better things to focus on right now anyway?”
He gestures loosely towards Satine, who has started playing with one of the mother’s bracelets as the other woman stands and looks at her rather dumbfounded.
Kenobi follows his gaze and then lets out a huff of laughter. “Satine can take care of herself,” he says, even though it hadn’t really been Satine that Anakin was worried about.
He’s about to open his mouth to say so when Kenobi turns back to him. His eyes are piercing, a dark, captivating sort of gold. 
“Do you find my wife beautiful, Anakin?” he asks.
Anakin blinks. His headache is getting worse, which is probably down to what can only be a trick-question fashioned to look like a grenade lobbed at his feet. “I don’t think there’s a good answer to that,” he mutters, rubbing absently at his forehead. “What the fuck.”
“An honest answer is a good one,” Kenobi says lightly. “Tell me honestly.”
The words feel pulled from Anakin’s stomach, and he’s opening his mouth before he realizes it. “No,” he says. 
Kenobi’s eyebrows crinkle together. “No?”
Anakin curses his stupid impulse control. “She’s beautiful,” he adds quickly. “Really. But…it makes me uncomfortable.”
Kenobi’s lips purse, and then there’s something like disappointment in his eyes as he examines Anakin. “Ah yes,” he murmurs. “I’ve been told my wife can make countless young men feel rather uncomfortable. It’s normal in men your age, Anakin. Sexual ar—”
“Uncanny,” Anakin blurts out. He doesn’t mean to, but he also doesn’t want to listen to  Kenobi trying to lecture him on fucking arousal in the public library. When it’s not even relevant. “She’s so beautiful, it’s uncanny.”
“Uncanny.”
“Yeah, like. Monstrous.”
Kenobi’s mouth falls open, pink lips parted in what looks like honest surprise.
Anakin’s own eyes widen as it hits him that he’s just called Kenobi’s wife a monster to Kenobi’s face.
“Shit,” he says. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m going to go.” 
He throws a look at Kenobi, whose eyes are lit with something a lot like interest and then across the library to where Satine’s head is turned, cocked, and eyebrows up high on her forehead, as if she’s just heard everything he’s said.
He decides rather immediately that he’s going to take the backdoor exit.
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